#honestly i dont know but i want to write again so fucking bad!!!!
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If I were to write a few things, is there anything you guys would want? Also thinking about starting to write for cod !
#bat talk#harry potter x reader#stranger things x reader#eddie munson x reader#steve harrington x y/n#stranger things#marvel x reader#eddie munson x y/n#stranger things x y/n#cod mwii#honestly i dont know but i want to write again so fucking bad!!!!#i just dont know w h a t to write!!!
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sorry i need to be a hater for a minute. tim drake: robin is a plague upon this earth because it is late 2024 and i Still can't go into kon tags without seeing that stupid fucking blond bitch. enough
#rimi talks#i wanted to like tim/ber i wanted to like it sooo bad. unfortunately that is the worst comic i have EVER read.#i dont even have anything new to say about why tdr is bad bc i know ive said it all before#and trust me there is a fucking LOT to say about why tdr sucks shit#but every now and then some post just reminds me of how viscerally i hate that book#and then i sit here like the angy powerpuff girl pic from the ''no sweet poflo'' post.#megfitz really was like ''i HAVE to shipbait even while im already writing tim with my wattpad oc''#and so many of you people ate that shit up and asked for seconds.......... GET STANDARDS#then again im not sure if the people who can't shut up about kon being whiny abt tim/ber have even read tdr or if theyre just that annoying#because honestly tdr is a comic made for people who hate comics? so it could go either way
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Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared
#i like siting down with a guitar and writing music but the daw is still so scary to me and i dont know how to make it less scary#its like i dont know where to start#i understand music theory i can write chord progressions i can write melodies but arranging feels so daunting#like just trying to pick keyboard voices and stuff im like overwhelmed and then its like i just dont even know where to start#i think i need to do more covers to practice arranging because trying to do it with my own songs im just like i have NO IDEA#i do think that trying to recreate arrangements of other songs I like will help me but also just idk#i really want to get better at writing at the piano but i find it really hard#rn i write almost all my songs on the guitar then i guess what i have to do is try to think of like what style i want it to have#and sort of try to create a map like probably literally on paper and then try to go in and sort of do it but god its so hard i dont know#it feels so so daunting#even trying to make silly little stuff with just like some synths is really hard for me right now its so out of my comfort zone and AUGH id#its frustrating im scared of the computer but i also very much do not want to be an acoustic singer songwriter but thats all i can do#because all i can do is play fucking guitar!!!! and its just so frustrating#technically im like with a midi controller i should be able to do whatever program drums write little synth lines etc i dont have to like#know how to play piano and yet whenever i try to do it i just get so overwhelmed and freaked out with how many possibilities there are#that i just . cannnnnt#AHGHHHHHHHHHHHH im so im in such a bad mood right ow#ive had such a horrible night honestly#i think i will just go engage in fixation for comfort and then go to bed sigh#i dont know what to do to improve at making music in the daw i guess ill just maybe try again this weekend to take another crack at it#god its just so frustrating that i only started writing songs 2 years ago and have only learned to use a daw in the last 3 months i WISH#that i was one of these teenagers who spent all my time writing silly songs and playing around with a midi controller but i just didnt#because i was scared!!!!!!!#playing the guitar and singing has always been like the only thing that felt safe cos i felt if i tried to actually write and arrange songs#by myself i would fail so now i just feel so frustrated because i dont feel like a real musician and i feel like im starting too late#AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever sorry for using the tags of this post as my diary but#i am frustrated!!!!
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funny concept i really wanna do is make a mine dating sim however no matter how hard you try you’ll always get At Most a friendship ending EXCEPT if you put your name in as daigo then it’s just an entirely different game
#snap chats#i wanna do it so bad but i dont know anything about making a dating sim#plus then i'd have to write a whole fanfic which. i mean ive done that before#i think it'd be funny for the 'daigo' story to just actually play as daigo#see i can never making a dating sim cause then id wanna put in like ninety endings#like what wouldve happened if daigo wasnt up to par with mine's expectations#i think The Pivotal Moment for mine realizing he respects/loves daigo was when daigo took a bullet for him#i think it'd be fucked if you can choose Not to do that and mine just dies 💀💀#honestly i almost just want to make a daigo x mine dating sim but the comedy is in the secret daigo route#im procrastinating on my commission again </3
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I think I cried harder today over my dad's jackets than I did at his deathbed. That was a miserable time of course, a memory that will likely be seared into my brain until I die, but I cried... I think a normal amount, all things considered. More than I ever usually do of course, but I typically don't cry At All. All this free crying is certainly surreal.
The jackets, though. I was put in charge of doing his laundry, because we don't want to pack up dirty clothes. I was expecting it to be unpleasant bc my dad's dirty clothes - gross. But really, it was much more unpleasant in that... those were his. It felt wrong to touch them. Felt wrong to treat his jackets as gross. Because they were just his jackets. They weren't even in the hamper. And then I was remembering him wearing them, and then I was crying. Again. And again. Weeping over these damn jackets.
Then I found a shirt on his bed that still smelled like him. It smelled like a Hug From Dad. And that set me off crying even harder.
In total, I think I cried like 6 times within 40 minutes. It took me that long to finish sorting the damn clothes bc I just. Was a wreck. Like, what are you supposed to do when you're living life like normal, vaguely hopeful bc you're taking steps to secure your own happiness, and then 4 days later you're sorting your dad's laundry because he fucking died. Suddenly. Without a goodbye.
And you have to worry about his lack of a will (even under an ideal situation, only 2 heirs and no conflicts between us, probate's a fucking Bitch), and arranging the funeral, and prepping his obituary, and picking out pictures, and writing a speech bc you want to talk at his funeral, of Course you want to talk at his funeral, but even just thinking about anecdotes you could share has you crying yet again.
I've cried more times in the past 3 days than likely the entirety of last YEAR. And that's WITH my cat, and uncle, and family friend dying. Those all hurt, my uncle most of all, & I was real fucked up over it. But this? This was my Dad. Likely the person I'd have named 2nd closest to me in my life, second only to my sister. He wasn't perfect, but he did so much for me throughout my entire life. All he wanted was to raise us to be happy and independent. And he accomplished it, we're getting by without him, but we still wanted several more decades with him. He was only 57. We should've gotten several more decades with him.
But here we are now. Playing investigators to his life, digging into all his shit, trying to find documents and take inventory of all his things, and learning Many things about him in the process. In his lockbox of sensitive documents, like his SSN and birth certificate and all that stuff, we found an old letter. About a decade old now, written in my hand. Right at the very top, we found that he'd kept the letter I wrote to him telling him frankly about my struggles and the things I wanted him to do better. He kept it. He tried to take it to heart. He looked at it again, sometime more recently than all the rest of the documents. That was on top.
His love for us is evident everywhere. The pictures he has hanging up all over the place, majority of them with us in them. The old fathers day cards placed on display in his bedroom bookshelf. The gifts we gave him, even stupid little knick knacks, placed around his apartment with pride. I wish we'd taken more videos of him. I don't want to forget the sound of his voice. I don't want to forget his smell either, the smell of a Hug From Dad, but I still tossed that shirt into the wash even though it felt like saying yet another goodbye.
It's the suddenness that hurts the most, I think. We were planning on having him help me finally get my license this year. My final words to him, the last thing he would've seen from me, were messages asking up on whether he'd called his car insurance company to make sure there wouldn't be problems. I should've called him more. I don't know if I'm going to learn from this.
I cut my 2 weeks off early to have time to grieve and to work on things for the funeral and settling the estate. The last thing I'd wanna do right now is selling fucking bubble tea in a job I already decided to leave. So here I am without a job, though with potentially two life insurance policy payouts to come. Inheriting half his 401k. Inheriting couches, knickknacks, keepsakes, paintings, art pieces, maybe even his guitar and other furniture if we can figure out what to do about space (I don't have room for this furniture, I don't know if I even have room for the couches, but God do I want to keep so much of this furniture). It has me even considering keeping one of his guns, just one. A tiny little revolver, it sits so comfortably in my hand. I don't even want to use it for anything. I just want to have it, keep it stored in a drawer with its ammo kept separate. I don't like guns, but this is a part of him. He loved collecting guns. He was about as responsible with them as someone can be, keeping them locked in a lockbox and impressing upon his children the importance of gun safety (I've known the basic gun safety rules ever since I was a little kid. Of course, of course, of course.) It reminds me of him. It's horrifically easy to have a gun in Indiana. I apparently don't even need a permit to carry anymore. (I have no intention to ever carry this in public.)
It's all a cycle. Business, grief, thoughts about my future. Round and round, like the most nauseating carousel in existence. I don't know how I'm still so functional. My skills with compartmentalization have been my lifesaver.
And im just thinking about the story my dad's best friend shared today. About a friend of theirs who lost her father. She reached out after hearing about my dad to share his words with her: "it's okay to grieve, but don't make his death your life".
He explicitly referenced himself in this, saying if he were to die suddenly that he wouldn't want us to define ourselves by it. Grief is expected, but he wants us to be able to move on. He's always wanted us to establish ourselves and make ourselves happy. He wouldn't want to be a weight holding us back from that.
So every time I start to feel guilty for thinking about having nicer furniture or using his life insurance payout to fund the rest of my college, I remind myself of that. Thinking about the material isn't a bad thing. I'm only human. And in the end, he'd Want me to be thinking about it. He never intended to die, certainly not without warning like this, so he would've only encouraged me being pragmatic about it all.
He only ever wanted us to be happy. So I need to do what I can to live up to that.
I love him. I miss him already.
#speculation nation#negative/#this got really long on accident. but i think typing this out was really helpful for me.#getting the thoughts out. processing. the works.#nearly cried several times just from writing this.#...and honestly i might reference this again when i start seriously writing my eulogy.#things suck a Lot right now. and i really wish they were different.#feels like i picked a bad choice in a video game and am now seeing the Bad Ending or whatever#all i need to do is reload a previous save. it's all still there. perfectly preserved in my memories.#but... that's all gone. as suddenly and unfair as it is ive been thrust into a new chapter of my life so thoroughly.#it's not all bad though. he wasnt prepared for dying so it's been hell to prepare for him#we dont know if we'll even be able to get into his fucking iphone. stupid piece of shit.#but he had life insurance. he had a union job. and That comes with benefits#(something about a year's salary going to the family. aka half a year's salary to Me. and isnt That mind boggling.)#as much as it hurts im going to be realistic about it. im going to do what i need to finish my education.#and im going to use it as a springboard for finally becoming a 'proper adult'.#the kind who could own a nice kitchen fridge. one with an ice machine on the front of the door#and freezers in the drawers.#maybe then i could think about getting motorcyle lessons. not from my dad as i originally wanted#but i wanna keep the family biker spirit alive. i wanted it even before he died. and now i want it even more.#ive had so so many thoughts. it's only been 3 days. ive had to emotionally numb myself several times just to Get Through It.#everything is exacerbated. my mom wants to go to the funeral. we will have to fight her on this. my dad Hated her.#and i certainly dont fucking want her around either. not then. not when im talking about my dad.#(my dad. my Dad. i saw him die. i felt him cold. i do not regret it. it still hurts me.)#it's overwhelming. i loved him so fucking much. even with his flaws he was truly an amazing father.#i'll... shut up now. if you read this far. well. hug your loved ones a little tighter. you never know when youll lose them.
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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
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yeah but i really got fucked over by the people i told this abt loll
#some of yall might remember my vent posts and stuff and yeah this situation didnt end well for me#i could talk abt this for hours honestly this is so messed up#yknow ive been thinking how i never really tell my friends what i go through at home anymore bc i began to doubt myself#even tho i KNOW it all happened. They did abuse me. Still do. But some part of me thinks#that i just made this up or that it wasnt actually that bad. even though it was. it was so much fucking worse. and having to go through it#again and again and again. i have no words. sometimes my mind just goes blank bc i dont want to think abt this stuff. i just want it to be#over.#some part of me thinks that if i tell somebody im ruining my abusers lives. even though theyre the one ruining mine. nothing can harm them.#especially my words. they will never face consequences bc the system doesnt work. and i dont want to ruin their life.#i just want it to be over.#i just want to go on and live my life and leave this all behind and start anew.#im an awful person. i have younger siblings and this was the only reason i decided to go through with telling someone at school abt this. bc#i didnt want them to suffer like me. i knew what their mindless actions did to me. and to see my siblings go through that.#but my sister absolutely hates me for telling the school#she says shes ashamed to go there bc people know#she thinks i made it up for attention even though she literallywas there when they beat me. she was fucking there lmfao#im sorry if this is too much but i need to get this somewhere out. writing it down is not enough and i cant tell this at anyone#kill me💗 the only thing keeping me alive is dreaming. very corny i know. but fantasizing abt my far away future is the only thing making me#go on. thinking abt my life after this ends. but sometimes its not enough and i just spend all my time watching stuff or reading or whatever#just watching stuff abt lives totally different from my own. that helps me focus on something else for a while. sighhhhhh
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I love your Homicipher hc, they are so good! Would you be willing to do some N/ SFW for Mr. Chopped too? Like you did for some of the others? I understand if you don't want to or if it makes you uncomfortable, thank you anyway!
MR. CHOPPED N/SFW HCS
a hc list of Mr. Chopped x reader {an: SORRY GUYS IM POSTING MAINLY HCS RN,,, fics for me take a lot longer than usual so im just posting hcs to atleast get some reach.}
warnings! : smut, cunnilingus/blowjob, idk,,, cuckhold
{an: freaky shit,,,, like hes just a head so its kinda hard to fuck. did give him a section for IF he had a body.. MAINLY HIM GIVING HEAD,, i didnt rly know how to write this im sorry!! def will write more tho,,, im into him ngl}
SFW
what it would be like to be in a relationship with Mr. Chopped.
it would be relatively hard to be in a relationship with him for obvious reasons, though not impossible!
the thought of you makes him happy, and especially when you hold him.
he would have Mr. Silvair help most of the time. usually for the romantic aspects of things though.
while Mr. Silvair doesnt quite understand the relationship, he is glad to help.
being a talking head will obviously raise a few insecurities, so just reassure him that you indeed do love him! he gets his feelings hurt easily.
he absolutely loves when you play with his hair. if you put bows in it or decorate it, that will make it all the more special for him.
the first time he bit you when he was sleeping, had him crying for hours. he felt so bad that he harmed you in any way, and it took a while for him to "recover"
he loves kisses! he always shouts things like "Up, Up" or "Desire, Carry!" just so he can kiss you.
if you manage to get a hold of make up or something, he would absolutely love for you to do his makeup. {he likes to feel pretty}
he is a very sensitive boy, also a crybaby. how cuuuttteee...
if Mr. Silvair gives him a body, {ignore that one ending... we dont talk about it} then he wpuld be even more excited to see you.
the moment he gets a body would mean so many hugs and affection as a thank you for saving him.
he gets picked on a lot by the others so he usually tries his best to come to you.
NSFW
sex...?
sex is definitely a hard concept with him.
while yes, it is possible, just not in the way intended.
you could see him more as a pure object for your pleasure honestly, and he wants that.
whether you are amab or afab, he is perfect for the situation.
ive seen this referenced by another writer, but he would be like a "rose toy" or a "fleshlight" as people call it.
its a secret pleasure to watch you go at it with someone else. {ex: Mr. Silvair or someone.}
if he is gifted a body though, he definitely will pay you back for saving him in the first place.
personally he would be a soft and sensual lover with his new body, rarely going rough unless specifically asked to.
he is more of a giving top. definitely not dominant but is a top. he cares more about your pleasure than his. though, he does get all giddy when you wish to go down on his or something.
he is open to literally anything you want, he would have very few limitations on what he would do, but everything is open for discussion.
again, definitely either wants to watch you have sex with someone else, OR wants someone else to watch you and him go at it. {he would prefer Silvair.}
he definitely likes when you pull his hair or use him. will be submissive sometimes.
he is the type to cry during sex...
omfmg i love him sm
{ made by @whokilledsamara }
#homicipher#smut#homicipher x reader#mr chopped head#mr chopped x reader#mr chopped x y/n#mr. chopped#mr. chopped x mc#mr chopped smut
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I dont know if you write for the Omegaverse..
Because how about a Bully (Alpha) x Nerd Male Reader (Omega) like the two of them dont get the Second Gender until now.. So basically the Bully realise that the Reader is his Fated Mate and dosent want anybody near him, only HIS.. But is really dificult for the Reader to not only Trust him but is also really scared of him..
So Reader first heat is a mess (Like the Bully is constally pound him with meaty d*ck) and the Bully is constally tell him sweet and suductive things to try to calm him down, even tho the Reader is crying because he still scared..
Finally ending with the Reader even more sacred knowing that the Alpha has mated him and posibly '´mark´´ him?
Well, I never have before, but I'll try! Apologies in advance for any mistakes
Yandere Bully Alpha x Nerd Omega Reader
M yan x M reader
TW - Possessiveness, jealousy, implied bullying, NSFW, dubcon
Somehow, since your bully realized you were his fated mate, life only got more difficult. At least you could have friends before! Now he occupied all your attention. If someone made eye contact with you for too long, he considered them a threat.
Honestly, you almost preferred how he acted in the past. Back when he would mock every little thing you did and make your life as hard as he could on purpose. Back when he made you do his homework and beat you up if you refused.
Now, he had you tutor him. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't make you sit on his lap, or if he actually paid attention. He just sat there watching you work and listening to you teach him. He would hurt his face in your neck and breath in your scent, letting his voice fill your ears.
No wonder he always got so jealous when you used to have friends. It was your fault he felt that way, or so he thought. But once he realized you were meant to be his, he realized it was everyone else's fault! They shouldn't be near what's his.
He completely monopolized your time. Whenever you weren't at home, he was making you hang out with him. He'd try to spoil you with things to make up for how he treated you in the past, but that didn't fix it.
He hurt you. He made your life miserable, and he knew he was doing it the whole time. The damage he caused couldn't be fixed by some nice words or gifts.
He just didn't get it. No matter how hard he tried, you always recoiled from his touch. You always got tense when he held you. You never seemed to believe him when he showered you with praises. You didn't like his gifts. What was he doing wrong?
Maybe you liked it better when he was bullying you? So he tried it. He tried being mean to you again. But that only seemed to make it worse! He didn't get it. Why wouldn't you love him?! You were supposed to! He was your fated mate, so you had to love him!
He could only think of one more way to earn your love.
You didn't show up to school one day, which worried him. So of course, like a good mate, he skipped school after the first hour and promptly made his way to your house. He knew where you hid the so are key, so he just let himself in.
And there was a glorious sight awaiting him once he reached your room. There you were, face buried in your pillow, ass up as you stroked your aching cock. Your scent was absolutely overwhelming, and the sight immediately made him hard. You were already in the perfect position for him.
He quietly walked around you, adjusting his pants to let his meaty cock spring free. He'd help you...prove you needed him. Like a good mate.
"You need help there, my mate?" He carefully got behind you, using one hand to spread your ass and the other to line himself up with your needy hole.
You gasped at his raspy voice against your ear. There he was. The last man you wanted to see right now. He'd surely take advantage of your pathetic state.
But at the same time, just one look at his massive cock distracted you, your mind clouded by thought of being fucked.
He didn't let you answer before slowly pushing into you. He had to take it slow, filling you up inch by inch. He didn't want to hurt you. Not yet.
"Shhhh, that's it, you're doing so good." He cooed in your ear as you whined.
Once he thought you were ready, he slowly thrust into you...but it wasn't long before he lost control. How could he not? You felt so good all warm and tight around his thick cock. He was entirely unable to resist the incredible feeling.
He was relentless, stretching you to fit his huge cock without much care for your comfort. Even when tears began to stream down your face, he didn't slow down. He just kissed them away as he continued his harsh thrusts.
You were just crying because you weren't used to feeling this good. Right? That had to be it.
"It'll be okay, you're taking me so well." He hushed you, his breath hot against your skin as he trailed kisses across your jaw.
Your choked moans only enticed him further. He could already feel himself needing to cum. He's never felt such amazing pleasure before. No wonder you were his.
His kisses trailed lower and lower, down your neck, turning harsher. Turning to sucking and gentle nibbling, until he was biting you. He had to mark you of course, and in the most obvious places he could too. You were his. Everyone had to know.
He made sure you were the first to cum, which wasn't hard. Your heat had made you more sensitive. He was enjoying every bit of that. And you deserved to be the one feeling all the pleasure right now.
As you own cum covered your stomach, chest, and the sheets beneath you he couldn't help but praise you more. "What a good boy...I knew you enjoyed this as much as I did. Don't worry, you have your whole heat cycle to get used to me."
He wasn't going to let you feel needy for even a second. He was going to fuck you hard day and night, filling you with his cum, until your heat was over. He was just such a good mate like that.
Again, apologies for any mistakes!
#blarsh writes#yandere x reader#yandere#x reader#anon ask#male yandere#yandere x you#male x reader#yandere x darling#male yandere x reader#x male reader#male reader#male x male#male yandere x you#male yandere x male reader#male y/n
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Your Girl
Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader
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synopsis: late at night, you and clarisse get to know one another.
a/n: ykw i dont even know what i write anymore just enjoy it i truly just listen to the wind oh my god
Your Girl - Lana Del Rey (Unreleased)
warnings: im sorry im obsessed w the nightmare trope, friends to lovers MEYOW, HURT COMFORT, clarisse just wants to KISS, light tension, very light and fluffy tho…. not a lot of angst tbh, POSSESSIVE CLARISSE I SCREAMED, mutual pining YESSSSS, they’re in love but they don’t think the other could be in love w them, clarisse knows what she wants and sets out to get it, monsters- again it’s a drakon bc i’m evil, mentions of death, swearing, mentions of weapons, weed and smoking, substance abuse idk if it’s addiction my health teacher would be so disappointed, shotgunning weed, idk what’s happening honestly we’re all along for the ride, tell me if i missed anything!!
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You don’t know where Clarisse gets it from, but she has good weed.
They’re these perfectly little rolled blunts, with some sort of amazing concoction inside- you can’t even be bothered to care that it’s bad for you. Not when it makes you feel so good, not when it makes everything else fade away.
So, that’s why you’re here now. Sitting in the woods, leaning against a rock covered in moss, staring up at the stars. Sometimes you talk, sometimes you’re just here next to each other. But tonight, you think you took one too many hits, so you’re feeling a little sentimental.
“I would fucking die without you, Clarisse.”
She snorts. “Yeah, probably.”
“No, no, not just like- because you’re so strong, and stuff, but because of this fucking weed. I can’t sleep without it, y’know.”
She hums.
“And, like, you need sleep to live, or else your brain will like eat itself, or something ridiculous. Did you know that?”
She looks at you, mouth curved into an unimpressed smile, eyebrows raised. “I didn’t, and I care so much. Thanks for telling me, leech.”
“That’s mean,” you huff.
“Then stop leeching off of me and stealing my weed.”
Clarisse always looks so pretty in the moonlight. You would never admit that to anyone, but in the dark when your head is all hazy- you know she’s pretty. She’s beautiful, if you’re being honest, but she’s also your dealer- you can’t risk upsetting her. But still, sometimes you’re not sure how she isn’t a daughter of Aphrodite.
But you know better than anyone else that she gets everything from Ares, like she’s a carbon copy of him.
She gets her precision, her strength, her tactical mind, her rolling storm of emotions from him.
Except, there’s a softness in her. Only here, in the moonlight. You don’t know if it’s you or the weed, but you like to think it’s you. You like to think that Clarisse likes you as much as you like her, not just tolerates you for your mediocre company.
She’s sitting with one foot planted onto the ground, hair pulled back all messy, her arm balancing on her knee. The joint is held out conveniently towards you, lazily in between her fingers, so you flip yourself onto your stomach and reach out with open lips.
She smiles and flips the joint around, placing it onto your lips. Your close your eyes and your mouth, breathing in deeply. Gods, does it taste horrible, but you love it too much.
You pull back and breathe out the smoke.
“You love me, and my weed-stealing tendencies.”
“Uh, yeah, okay,” she rolls her eyes.
—-
Clarisse probably trains more than any other demigod at camp. Thirty minutes after dinner, like clockwork, you can find her heading to the field where all the sparring dummies live.
Clarisse is probably your only true friend at camp. You stick to yourself for the most part, hang out with your siblings, but besides for that it’s Clarisse. And she’s the same way. She hangs out with her siblings, and then you. Of course- everyone at Camp knows her name and her ruthless reputation.
You’re unknown, she’s known. She’s the best fighter you’ve ever seen, you’re mediocre, compared to her. She helps you at every turn, you’re the one getting helped by her. She’s mean to everyone, and you’re kind to whoever happens upon you.
You force each other to bring out the other sides of yourself no one gets to see. Clarisse gets to be soft, you get to be loud and annoying. You’re friends, but you both get something out of it.
She’s your friend, your dealer, your savior.
If the first day you came to camp, running through the woods with a drakon hot on your heels and your mouth split open into a scream- maybe Clarisse and her siblings wouldn’t have turned around and noticed the drakon.
Of course, Clarisse was the one who actually killed it, and she was the one who hoisted you up from where you had collapsed, breathing heavily. She was the one who actually made sure you weren’t hurt while your satyr protector panicked about having to face the Cloven Council.
She was the one who found you in the middle of the night, that drakon hissing in your ear, she was the one who gave you the claw she had pried from it’s dead body, she was the one who told you it was dead and nothing could hurt you in Camp.
“Clarisse!” you call, running towards her. Most campers like to wind down after dinner, so the field is empty.
“Leech,” she says when you reach her, leaning her spear against a dummy and stretching her arms above her head.
You always come everyday. You ask her the same question.
“Do you have it?”
She digs under her armor, pulling out the small cloth containing the blunt. “You would probably go insane if I didn’t.”
You feel calmer just looking at it. You smile sheepishly up at her.
“You know I can’t sleep without it, Clarisse.”
She looks away, stuffing it back under her armor, against her stomach.
“Maybe you should try and skip one night.”
You scoff. “I don’t feel like pulling an all-nighter, Clarisse.”
She nods, but her face is riddled with concern. “Okay, angel,” she mutters, so low you can barely hear it. But you do. You hear her call you angel, and you turn away instead of slamming your lips into hers.
—-
After that first night, you slept with that claw tight into your hand. And it was fine. You still had the occasional nightmare, but every demigod had those. But the older you got, the more monsters you learned about, the more comfortable you got with being a demigod- the more the nightmares came. Knowing the drakon was dead didn’t help, and the nightmares got worse and worse until Clarisse found you again one night.
You had drifted apart from her. She had her life and you had hers, but ever since you’ve been bonded by the nights.
She wrapped her arms around you and let you cry, mumbling about how she was the strongest demigod at camp, and there was the barrier, and nothing would ever get through to you.
She was soft in that moment. And you could tell she regretted it, because she ignored you for the next few days until one of her siblings pushed you to the ground. She appeared out of nowhere and grabbed his shirt, yelling that if he ever touched you again, she’d fucking kill him.
While he sputtered and asked why she cared about some stupid weak girl, she helped you up and said: “She’s my girl.”
And since that day 3 months ago, you’ve always been her girl. Neither of you really knew what that meant, except you liked being around each other and you liked this transaction. Clarisse liked owning something. You liked belonging to someone.
That’s what this entire friendship is about- convenience.
So, that’s why Clarisse being concerned about you makes you feel weird. You care about Clarisse, she cares about you- but only enough that she doesn’t want to see you hurt by someone else. But who is she to stop you when you’re the one hurting yourself?
You arrive at the rock in the forest, fingers twisting together. Clarisse is already there, lighter and blunt set out on the ground, polishing her spear.
“Hey,” she says, looking down.
“Hi.”
You sit down, eager to get your hands on the weed and forget about the way Clarisse’s concern confuses you.
You stare at your shaking hand.
Gods, are you really that nervous?
Clarisse’s eyes are sharp, she notices everything, she processes it much faster than you can ever dream to. It’s why she’s so quick in battle. She’s a well oiled machine and you’re the one job she’s assigned to do- she knows you by heart after all these nights.
Her spear is pushed off her lap. “Why are you shaking?” she says, voice low and raspy, her hand cupping yours.
“Low blood sugar,” you lie. “I’ll grab a snack before I go to bed.”
She says nothing, but you watch her hesitate as she grabs the blunt and the lighter from the ground, you watch her hesitate again as she goes to light it. But she lights it, she sticks it in between her fingers and holds it out to you.
“C’mere,” she mutters, and you lean forward and let her place the blunt on your parted lips. You breathe in, only for a few seconds, and you could go for a lot longer.
“I wasn’t done,” you huff as she takes her own drag.
“My weed,” she shrugs. “I decide how much you get.”
“You’re a bitch.”
She laughs. She laughs and it makes your stomach twist in such a good way you can’t feel like this anymore, you can’t remember what she does to you, what she called you.
You reach out blindly for the blunt, biting your lip as you practically climb on top of her.
“Clarisse!” you yell, but she seems to find your desperation hilarious, holding the blunt out as far as she can. “I fucking hate you, oh my Gods.”
“Okay, okay, fine,” she says, pushing you off of her. You realize you’re laying on your stomach in between her legs, one hand planted to the ground around her leg, the other reaching out.
She leans back and takes another drag. You roll your eyes and move to attack her, but she’s too fast, sitting up and holding your hand down, her other hand grabbing your chin. She breathes out the smoke right into your lips that are parted in shock, smiling as you stare right into her amused eyes.
She leans back while you sit there stupidly on top of her, blowing out the smoke. “That- that’s- I hate you, did I mention that?”
“You did,” she muses. “But we both know you’re lying.”
You look at her, at her wide smile, at the look in her eyes. You want nothing more than to be her girl- her girl in the way that she’ll kiss your head, tell you about all the things you’ll never do, she’ll lay down with you in a bed of soft pillows. Her girl in the way the reason she’s soft in the moonlight isn’t the weed, it’s because of you. Her girl in the way you can run to her, the way you do now, but with the added connotation of love.
You grab the joint, and she lets you, watching intently as you breathe in and blow out the smoke. She has no right to be worried over you. Not when you’re the one making the choice to waste away your youth. And especially when you’re not her girl- not in the way you want to be.
—-
“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come,” she hums.
You sit back against the rock. Normally, you would have been here 20 minutes ago.
You didn’t catch her after dinner, and you stayed firmly in your bed until it all got to be too much. You’re terrified of sleeping, of the nightmares that will come- but for some reason, the weed just puts you at such ease that you don’t have any nightmares.
You didn’t want to be near Clarisse tonight. Not after yesterday, not after the way she’s been making you feel, and the fact that you know she could never really like you. Why would she? You are the stupid weak girl who gets pushed over. You run from drakon’s and can’t even sleep because of nightmares.
Clarisse is fiercely protective of those she loves, but you’re too much work.
You wanted to go one night. One night without the weed, and prove to her and yourself that you don’t need it. You’re not that weak.
But you couldn’t.
You sit down, she looks at your tense shoulders and doesn’t tease you, just hands you the blunt. You mumble something of a thank you, looking up at the stars, shoulders relaxing after a few more breaths.
“I, uh, I tried to skip. Tonight, I mean. I tried not to come.” It’s embarrassing to admit this. You’re so scared of the nightmares that even if it’s a placebo effect, you come back to this clearing every night.
“But you couldn’t?” she asks.
“I couldn’t,” you affirm, staring at the ground.
“Well, you can’t just go cold turkey, dummy. You have to wean yourself off of it. Do you not remember, like, any of those nicotine patch ads?” she laughs. “You’ve got a good memory, you remember.”
“Shut up, meanie,” you mumble, raising the joint to your lips. She stops you.
“Ah-ah. Starts now. Make it a good one, ‘cause that’s your last, baby.”
“Fine,” you mumble, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach. You breathe in for a long time, tempted to go a little longer, but Clarisse reaches over and pinches your cheek. “Okay!” you yell, throwing the joint back to her.
She laughs and raises it to her own lips, taking in another long drag before putting it out.
You look at her, silent question in the air. She shrugs.
“Been meaning to slow down for a while, why not do it together?”
“Yeah,” you hum, looking back towards the stars. “Oh, hey, Ares is out tonight.” She looks over.
“Yeah,” she muses. “Fuckin’ Ares.”
“It’s still beautiful,” you say, stars in your eyes. “You have to think about it the way mortals do. They don’t know the Gods put them up there- they think it’s just some random spotting of stars, they think they made patterns out of it. Isn’t that beautiful? To make patterns and people out of stars? To look for humanity where there is none?”
“I never thought about it like that,” Clarisse says.
“Aren’t they beautiful?” you ask. You can feel her eyes on you.
“Yeah,” she affirms. “Beautiful.”
—-
The next two weeks goes by the same. You don’t catch Clarisse after dinner, but you come every night, you smoke a little less, she teases you and gets closer to you. She gets bolder and bolder and you get shyer and shyer.
You still feel like too much. If she just lets you prove this to her and to yourself, the maybe you can lean against the rock with her and flirt back.
—-
You meet Clarisse by the rock. She’s still standing, waiting for you. She takes the last of the blunt you’ve been using for the last few days and lights it, taking one small drag before she flips it around and holds it out to you.
“C’mon,” she guides. “Not too much, I’ll stop you.”
You feel kind of like a baby as Clarisse puts the joint on her lips, fingertips against your face to steady her hand. You breathe in for just a second, tempted for more, but she takes it away. You look up at her, fingers twisted together.
“Clarisse, I don’t know if this is a good idea.”
She leaves the blunt to blow out in the wind in the natural dip of the rock, your own little ashtray at the top. Of course, Clarisse will come and collect it the next morning- you don’t want to upset the nymphs and satyrs in the forest.
“It’s a good idea,” she affirms. “Don’t worry, okay?”
You’re scared. You remember being chased by the drakon even now, you remember it’s snarls, you remember it’s claws moving through the air. You remember your heart pumping in your ears, you remember the stones in your stomach that were supposed to be fear.
You feel like Kronos, but what you swallowed wouldn’t just sit idly inside of you- no, your fear would rip through your stomach and your skin and burst out of you in an explosion of blood, like some sick joke of a firework.
She grabs your wrists. Clarisse is soft, here, in the moonlight.
“Hey, it’s okay. I-I was thinking, I didn’t know if you were gonna be okay, but why don’t you sleep in my cabin?”
You shift on your feet. “Clar, no, I can’t ask you to do that. What if we get caught? And I-I- it’s embarrassing, what if your siblings see? What if they tell everyone?”
Clarisse rolls her eyes and tugs you closer from where you had subconsciously started to drift away.
“They already think we’re dating, anyways. Besides, Y/N, no one cares. Most of my siblings have secrets anyways,” she smiles.
“Wh- we’re dating? They think- why?”
Her face is deadpan. “‘Cause you’re my girl.”
You pull back. “Clarisse.”
“What?” she says, slightly incredulous. “You are. You’re about the only person I can tolerate at this camp. I hope you know that. I know I can be horrible, but really, I… care about you a lot.”
You look in her eyes. There’s no lies, no insincerity.
“I know, Clarisse. And I… I appreciate it so much. You’re, like, my only friend,” you smile.
She smiles back but it’s tight. “Friend, yeah.”
You put your arms around her neck and hug her. It’s the first time you’ve ever really hugged her, and her arms wrap tight around your waist. Her mouth presses against your hair. You let yourself be her girl in this moment.
Clarisse is your best friend. She cares about you. Of course she helps you with this. She’s your best friend. Of course you let her.
—-
You do follow Clarisse back to the Ares cabin, back to her bed- and she points to one of her siblings you can’t see in the dark, but there are two figures in the bed. She smiles and you stifle a laugh.
You know better than anyone else that big bad Ares kids are like a marshmallow on the inside. They act all tough, and they are pretty tough, but there’s a soft spot inside of them only unlocked by one person with the right key.
You notice her sibling has their arm around the other person. You wonder if Clarisse will wrap her arm around you like that too.
Clarisse climbs into her bed, opening the covers for you. The beds at Camp are twin sized, but you can fit two people on them if you’re close together. You don’t hesitate, not anymore, not when you have one chance to pretend you’re really hers.
You lay on your side, facing her, hands tucked up by your chest. Her eyes meet yours, she brushes her curls out of her face.
“Good?” she asks. You nod, breathing out.
“‘M fine,” you say.
She rubs your arm, cold from the dark night. “Just relax, okay? Just close your eyes, Y/N.”
You do, you close your eyes, but you’re so fucking terrified you can’t.
“Clarisse,” you breathe, a plead. For what, you don’t know. You want a million things from her in this moment. It’s not fair of you to ask her, you know this, but it doesn’t stop you from asking.
Your breath comes fast, your nails dig into your palms, but you keep your eyes screwed shut like sleep will just magically hit you like a train.
“It’s okay,” Clarisse says, firm. “Why are you so scared?” she whispers.
“They’re so real,” you whisper, your voice breaking.
“They’re not.”
She wraps her arms around you so tight you feel like she’s crushing you. But it keeps you in the moment. If you focus on the way her skin feels against yours, on the way her thumb brushes your shoulder blade, her fingertips scratching the back of your scalp.
If you focus, if you imagine all the thing you and her will never do, if you imagine being her girl, then you can fall asleep.
You dream of her lips pressing against your head, her voice in your ear, calling you her angel.
—-
You wake up, Clarisse still wrapped around you, and slowly detangle yourself. Drool pools at the corner of her lips, and you have to bite back a giggle as you slip out of the blankets and into the warm riding sun.
She looks just as pretty in the sunlight as she does in the moonlight. You feel like a lover slipping out of a bed of secrets. But you’re not. You’re just a friend slipping out of a bed of rumors.
She looks so peaceful, you can’t help but wonder if she always sleeps like this- or if having you next to her had the same effect on her sleep as it did to yours.
—-
There’s a loud knock at your cabin door.
There’s only you and a few of your siblings in here, putting the final touches on their outfits for the day, grabbing the last items they need. One of your younger siblings open the door, and you look around the pillars- maybe it’s a counselor doing some sort of inspection? You take a glance around your bunk- but it’s all clean.
Your eyes meet hers.
“Out,” she says, roughly. She looks at you so intently you almost wonder if she’s talking to you. But when you siblings stand there in shock, she looks away. “Well? I said get out, dummies.”
They exchange looks with you, but eventually shuffle out, not wanting to risk Clarisse and her wrath.
She shuts the door behind your last sibling.
“Being tough has it perks, huh?” she smiles, leaning against the door. Your shirt isn’t even pulled on properly, one of your bra straps is already falling down your shoulder from the act of putting your shirt on, and you’re staring at her with your mouth wide open.
She looks you up and down.
“C-Clarisse, what-?”
She walks over to you, frown etched onto her face.
“I woke up and you weren’t there.”
“Oh,” you say. “I… I thought you would have wanted me gone-”
“Don’t care. If you’re going to sleep with me then you need to wake me up and tell me you’re leaving.”
She rolls her eyes at your confusion. She sits on your bed and then gestures animatedly for you to sit down.
“Did you not sleep well?” she fusses. “What’s up with you this morning?”
“I slept great, Clarisse, it’s just- why are you here?”
“To tell you that you can’t leave,” she deadpans. “I mean, you spend all night shaking in my arms, terrified, and then I wake up and you’re not there? I almost killed someone. You’re lucky I decided to check here first, Y/N.”
She laughs. She laughs like it’s so funny.
“Why?” you ask.
“‘Cause you’re my girl,” she shrugs. “And-”
“Clarisse, what does that mean?”
You know what you want. And you’re not dumb, but you’re the only friend Clarisse really has- what did you have to compare it to? You’ve been thinking about it in your head, rolling it around like a diamond- each side reflects something you want from her. Her love, her protection, her touch, her time, her.
She plays with her fingers. “It means… I like touching you. I like protecting you. I like being near you. I like your voice and your face.”
She stares at you blankly, like she’s recounting a grocery list, waiting for an affirmative “yes, I heard you.” But all you can do is stare in shock, trying to make your brain catch up with your heart- Clarisse likes your face. Clarisse feels the same way you do. You can be her girl, and you’re not too much for her, you’re not just friends.
“Oh, fuck it,” she mumbles. She places her hand on your face and pecks your lips. “That’s what it means, okay? I’m, like, embarrassingly in love with you, if you haven’t noticed.”
Clarisse is so blunt and forward it makes your head spin.
She stares into your eyes, searching them for something other than shock and confusion.
“Okay,” she says. Shuffling back. You can tell she’s hurt and embarrassed, but her face reveals nothing other than faux confidence and indifference. “I’ll go, I guess-”
“Bitch,” you mumble, slamming your lips onto hers.
It feels so overwhelmingly right and fills you with such a calmness that weed could never compare to. If you were dependent on the joints, then one taste and you’re addicted to Clarisse. She kisses you back with just as much ferocity, throwing your arms around her neck, trying to swallow you whole with her mouth as she grabs your neck with one hand, your face with the other.
It’s months of tension and wanting, lips touching through the passing of a joint, all of it coming down to this moment that feels so bad, so sinful- surely the Gods must frown upon loving someone this much. You would never pray to any of them again if it meant Clarisse would keep kissing you like this.
When she finally pulls back, you’re both smiling wide, leaning into her palm, hands playing with the curls at the base of her neck. You feel like a giddy school girl. You feel like a lover discovering something wildly new and unknown, promising to keep it secret, sealing it with a kiss of pure fire.
“That was such a mean way to confess to someone,” you say. “Just bitchy. Brass and blunt- harsh, even.”
“Shut up,” she mumbles, pressing her face against yours.
“Yeah, it’s okay. I know you’re a big softie who drools in her sleep.” She pulls away and glares at you.
“I don’t fucking drool, Y/N. You’re seeing things.”
You fake frown, bringing her closer to you. “Such a horrible thing to say to your girlfriend.”
“My girlfriend?” she breathes, swollen lips parting like she’s aching to kiss you again.
“Your girlfriend,” you affirm, staring straight into her eyes.
You sunk more into becoming a demigod and all it got you was nightmares and a fear of sleeping. But the more you sunk into being her girl, the more you sunk into loving her and being loved.
You don’t know where Clarisse gets her softness from. Certainly not from her father. She didn’t learn to kiss your head from him. She didn’t learn how to hold you, how to call you hers, how to whisper in your ear from Ares.
You don’t know where Clarisse gets her softness from, but it’s good.
—-
SHOUTOUT TO clarisse “cause you’re my girl” la rue LOVE YOUR POSSESSIVE ASS!!!!!!!!
—-
clarisse when y/n smokes weed: oh so pretty……
clarisse when y/n can only fall asleep bc of her arms or her weed: my girl fr……..
clarisse when y/n: oh my wonderful perfect angel
—-
y/n: BITCH
clarisse: YOURE SO HOT FUCK
—-
where did clarisse get her weed from you may ask? me that’s where she got it from i ripped through the fabric of reality to give it to her to make this happen actually and you’re welcome
—-
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish
@sincerely-silk
#clarisse la rue#clarisse la rue x reader#clarisse la rue x y/n#clarisse la rue x you#pjo tv show#pjo x reader
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i love your preggo wife drabbles soo much!!! could you write one where joel takes care of reader with her morning sickness? 🫶🏻
Joel dealing with Preggo Reader: Morning Sickness
Notes: Idk why I keep making reader so mean but he's such a trooper! I'm also no pregnancy expert obviously so plz take my minimal effort in research with a grain of salt.
Warnings: mean reader, language, vomitting, morning sickness
- - - -
"I hate your penis."
Joel rolls his eyes. It's only the 11th time you've said it today while being hunched over the toilet, with Joel caringly hovering over you, holding your hair out of the way as you take a deep breath and hurl the breakfast he made you this morning.
"I hate—"
"I know, sweet pea. Just breathe."
You nod in an almost drunken state. He knows its because you've got no energy in you to really fight him, with the baby giving you all the first batch of hell in the life long journey of headaches in child bearing.
He rubs over your spin, caressing the shivers raking over your body so you can focus on not dying right now.
"I hate your toes. I hate your shampoo. I hate your fingernails. I hate your toast. I hate—"
"Ah huh..."
At first he was pretty upset and angered by how much you loath him, but at some point he's tuned it out and just holds and shushes you. While you pout your disdain for the man, you don't oppose his touch.
For now.
"Doin' so good, baby. It's only temporary, baby's just making sure you're a tough momma—"
"Shut the fuck up and get me some water."
Joel stands, his knees reminding him of his less than youthful age, before running downstairs and grabbing a bottle.
You were both a little surprised that all the morning sickness you were warned about hadn't really given either of you trouble in your first trimester. It came with a surprise by the middle of your second, and comes and goes on a daily basis. Today is honestly not so bad: it's your attitude shift that really gives him whiplash.
By the time he gets back up, you're already meandering out of the bathroom like a lost soul with puffy, sleep deprived eyes, and over to the bed, slowly crawling over the mattress, muttering "too tall". You feel his hand supportively on your back, but you snap "fuck off" and get in the bed yourself. He goes to tuck you in with the sheet, but again your hand slaps his away and you close your eyes into darkness.
You can still feel his annoying presence. "What!" You yell, eyes shooting open to see the bottle dangling from his hand. You snatch it without a thank you and gulp.
Joel's just got his hands on his hips, staring at you.
"Kern I hEp ouu, Hondah?" You gurgle through your water sloshing in your mouth.
He just chuckles to himself. "You're cute like this."
You swallow. "I'll fuck you the fuck up."
He laughs even harder, seemingly unserious in your threats. To him, you looked even smaller than before, despite the obvious roundness growing in your tum tum. You seemed like some small puppy finding her growl, or toddler pointing her finger trying to be intimidating but unaware of how badly you're failing.
"So amusing? Why dont you make yourself useful and rub my feet," you demand.
"You need to eat food, baby girl."
"BaBy GiRl" you mock with puppet hand mouth. "NAG nag NAG. I Don't WANT food. I want my FOOT. In your HAND. before I put it up your ASS."
Joel can tolerate the baby cock-blocking him for a few weeks and the endless assult of your words, but he puts his foot down when your basic needs arent being met. "I need you to eat food. You need energy. Baby needs energy."
"Fine! Crackers, you crackhead. Then—" and you thrust your leg in the hair and wiggle your foot in his face so he gets the picture.
"Okay okay!" And he walks out the bedroom.
Joel spends a record 4 minutes downstairs hurriedly putting together a fancy array of cracker options, from Saltines, to Townhouse, to Ritz. He also pops a few cubes of diced ham in his mouth and then holds a few in his hand to snack on later since he too had to abandon breakfast to service you.
By the time you're conplaining "it's been hours!" He's trotting up the stairs, you wiggle your bum so you sit upright in bed, hand over gurgling belly as he brings the tray to you.
Just as youre about to feast on these dry ass cardboard squares, your nose twitches. You see Joel chewing something in his grasp, popping one cube of pale meat quickly into his mouth, and it takes all of 2 seconds for the smell to travel to your brain before you're throwing the tray on the ground, crackers spilling all over the carpet and b lining to the bathroom again to throw up.
As he hears your dramatic gasps and hurls, Joel pulls out his little note pad he's been documenting your pregnancy so far. He writes "no ham" in the lines , right under "hates my penis", before tossing the paper on the bed and stroking your hair lovingly again as you empty your entire organs in the toilet.
By the time you finish, you've got snot and tears running down your face. "but I LOVED HAAAMMMMM" You screech.
It's true. You used to wrap a thick spread of cold butter on a slice of cheap deli ham and eatnit like a cannoli— something he thought was a weird aquired taste BEFORE he even got you pregnant.
Joel grabs a tissue and plants it firmly in your face, and you squeeze your eyes tight and blow right into his palm like a little snot nosed trumpet. He rubs his fingers in your nostrils to get all the boogers out before tossing it and helping you up to your feet again.
All the while you're bawling "l-l-loved—my hh-ham—n cheese" with gross babbling as he tucks you back in the duvet. You were fine with giving up other aversions like tomatoes, pizza crust, and yogurt. Even sex (occasionally). But your beloved ham is one baby step too far.
"Your—"sniffle— "big—"hiccup—"ugly—"choke—"WORM —" cough—"DID THIS TO MEEE," you accuse his crotch and wail into the air.
Then you hiccup very loudly and go quiet entirely.
You look around with curious eyes, fresh tears suddenly unbothering you at the moment.
"Mmmmmmmn crackers," you moan. "Gimme that one," and you point to the mess on the floor.
"What one?"
"That one!"
He bends down and picks up a piece.
But you shake your head. "No that one."
"No." "No the other." "No."
"Which one!" He shouts, unable to contain the lace of frustration.
"The one I'm pointing to, stupid!"
He finally picks up one hes pointed to 3 times already and you clap your hands.
You snatch it out of his grasp, pull a hair off its curved cracked edge before munching on it happily.
He looks at with uncertainty on his face.
You swallow the dry mushed bits and hum contently. "Mmm. Salty."
-
Not even 12 hours later you two are getting ready for bed, and you mood has completely changed. Still sick, but instead of being unable to stand Joel's entire existence, you praise it.
"Joel, honey? Can you please prop my feet up Under this pillow. I'm sorry. I just can't seem to reach it myself."
"Baby? I'm a little thirsty. Can you get me some water?"
"Im so sorry, Joel. I just can't stomach this food, I know you put so much effort into it. Ugh! I loved this, I really did! I don't know what's wrong with me."
You rub over the discomfort in your slightly swollen tummy and try to be a brave girl and fight the tears, as Joel's been so attentive to your needs, aches, cries and cravings, only to hurl them back up.
You sniffle and look up to him.
He's a bit tense, almost in a fight or flight stance with fear behind his eyes.
"W-whats wrong, Joel?" you ask with a honey song voice.
"Who are you and what have you done with my wife?"
- - - -
Permanent taglist :
@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrs-oharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96
#pedro pascal smut#joel miller fan fiction#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#last of us fanfiction#last of us smut#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel miller fluff#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#joel tlou#the last of us fic#last of us fic#joel dealing with preggo wife
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Ken sato brainrot is real and im here for that, i saw that request are open, and i want to make one if thats okay? Bassically hcs o of kenji with a high school friend reader that is a very shy/meek person, they where inseparable as kids and kenji was always very protective of reader, even in their high school years when reader started dating a very cuestionable guy that ended up being a cheater with her toxic ex best friend(that send her a lot of hatefull texts and calls with threats and slut shaming comments bc she wanted to date her boyfriend), due this reader moved on to japan when she and kenji where teenagers and they keep contact by texts and zoom calls.
When kenji comes to japan is determinate to make reader officially his girl, it can include headcanons of them as a couple!
If this is to much you are free to not do this request! I dont wanna bother you
masterlist
this is my first time doing a headcannon ever so i hope you like this! <3 it was honestly really fun writing! thank you for waiting! sorry if it’s not what you expect but i hope you still enjoy >:3
kenji sato headcannons!
kenji who was excited to find out that you lived in japan when he moved back
kenji who couldn’t help but want to protect you the same way he did before you left the states
kenji who watches you keep to yourself, scared of attachments
kenji who feels bad for you, knowing the hate you experienced for trusting someone
kenji who invites you to watch movies with him just to be closer with you
kenji who goes along with you wanting to go to the park to be more childlike
kenji who ends up growing a plush collection cause of your gifts
kenji who finally admits to himself that he wants to love you after seeing the way you smile at him
kenji who ends up daydreaming about all the cute stuff you’d do together if you were his
kenji who is absolutely surprised when you silently confess to him while sitting in silence
kenji who ends up panicking internally since he wanted to confess to you
kenji who gives you a peck and runs out of the house
kenji whose gone for about fifteen minutes, only to burst through the door with your favorite flowers, balloons, and a plushie of your favorite animal
kenji who panics seeing you slightly sad since you thought he ran away from you, not for you
kenji who quickly pulls you into his arms and comforts you while rubbing your back
kenji who confesses his feelings, telling you every moment he found himself admiring you since you were children
kenji couple headcannons!
kenji who hums you to sleep every night while your head lays on his chest
kenji who gets you a bouquet of flowers every two weeks, or till the recent one he got you starts to wilt
kenji who absolutely spoils you with compliments
kenji who gives the best reassurance while holding you, making sure to ease every insecure thought
kenji who kisses your whole body while saying why he loves each part
kenji who loves the way you cook food, always asking for more
kenji who introduces you to his dad, absolutely proud of being with you
kenji who calls you pet names like sweet thing, pretty girl, or baby
kenji who comforts you that he’s not going nowhere and that you’re safe and will never be hurt again
kenji who one day, with your permission, pulls you into a kiss on tv only to flip off the camera and say “fuck you _____” to your ex bf and best friend for the way they hurt you
kenji who loves posting you on his private instagram, usually taking about two hours just to perfect each post
kenji who loves taking photos of you sleeping since you look so peaceful
kenji who loves assaulting your face and lips with kisses and nibbles
kenji who loves taking showers with you and says “it’s to save water” even though his hands never let go of you, making you both waste more water
kenji who begged you to move in with him for a while hour cause he swears he “can’t live without you”
kenji who can’t wait to marry and have a family with you
kenji who loves you for you, no matter what
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tongue piercing reader x best friend!eddie munson
no smut nothing rlly happens just mutual pining and bad writing !! Eddie says m’lady but i think thats the only mention of gender.
You got your tongue pierced today, in a very professional shop a little out of town. Away from your best friend, eddie. Driving back, you decide to stop at a gas station to call and make sure hes home, you wanna stop by and show him your new shiny addition!!
the phone only rings once.
“Hey eddie!!” You almost squeal, though your mouth hurts, youre already excited to show him.
“Hi sweetheart, whats up?” He asks, adorning one of his many nicknames for you. Despite his constant use it still makes you a little flush.
“Are you at home?”
“‘Course babe, why?” God, he couldnt stand to just call you by your name, could he?
“Im stopping by.” You state. You two stopped asking years ago, obsesed with each others presence.
You drive the rest of the way, jamming to the radio though you dont sing like you usually do.
He hears the crunch of gravel under your wheels as you pull up, the low hum of the radio, he jumps to his feet before you even stop the car, and hes outside before you can even open your door. You smile excitedly, you cant wait to blow his mind.
Opening your door, he helps you out, faux gentlemanly.
“M’lady” he grins “to what do i owe your grace?”
You smile, almost evilly “glad you asked, munson”
he looks puzzled, you usually play along with his antics, speaking back in some awful old-timey accent.
“Well, go on” eager thing.
You dont indulge him just yet, letting yourself into his home, saying hi to his sweet uncle wayne as he follows you inside. You bee line to his room, your safe haven.
“Guess what i got pierced” you start with, giddy, as you sit on his bed. (Ignoring the crumbs that are splayed across his sheets)
his cheshire grin grows instantaneously. “What????”
Instead of just showing him, you like to tease. “My tongue.”
“What????? No fucking way. You did not, youre lying.” He almost fumbles over his words hes so excited. When he met you, you were a shy kid he had to coax to talk to him.
“Show me.” He demands, like i said, you two passed politeness a long, long time ago.
You smile, ready to indulge. You stick your tongue out, admiring the surprised and maybe even shocked look on his face. You giggle at his widened eyes, your tongue returning to its place.
He takes a few huge steps towards you, sitting next to you. His hand timidly holds your chin, eyes meeting yours (finally)
“S-show me again” theres a new unsteady shake in his voice. You obey, sticking your tongue out again, more relaxed this time. He moves your head side to side, grasp on your chin steady. He admires you for a few seconds before his questions flood his mind.
“Where the hell- how did- where did you get this??” Is the first. “jesus, were they clean?? Professional??”
You scoff “of course, teddy come on”
He smiles. “Why the hell did you go without me? I mean honestly i coulda done it myself” you giggle, a sound warm and welcome to him. he turns his head to the side, still staring at your new addition, his hand still holding your head in place.
“I know, i know, but i dunno… guess i kinda wanted to surprise you. And honestly, i feel like itd be harder if it were you.”
He smiles downwards, like a guilty child. he takes his hand away.
“What? Why?”
You match him suddenly shy again. “Well, i-i dont know. I guess cause im not scared to back out so i probably would. And cause i like, trust you” you break eye contact, staring down at his pretty hands instead. “Like, so i wouldnt be expecting it to hurt cause its you…”
you dont look up to see it, but hes grinning like you just told him youre in love with him. Which by his standards, you basically did.
See, Eddies been head over heels for you since the moment you met, as kids. He always thought you were far too good for him. Too sweet, too pretty, too kind. So he never pushed a line. What hes blind to see, however, is the way you absolutely melt in his gentle hold, thw way your knees almost buckle when he calls you any of your many many nicknames.
#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fic#eddie munson#fics#my fic#stranger things fic#stranger things#eddie munson x female reader#y/n#x reader#bestfriend!eddie munson#bestfriend!eddie x reader#mutual pining
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Question: there’s been a lot of talk online and sometimes on your blog about Greyana, they’ve been accused of plagiarism, using AI, and bots.
(Sorry, this isn’t a name and shame on them, nor do I want to put you in the hot seat so you can delete the ask if you don’t want to answer.) ❤️
I was wondering what exactly you knew/heard about the author or if you have any experiences with them? Or if this is just lore floating around in the fandom???
oh no, put me in the hot seat, I’m here for it at this point.
So. I hadn’t heard of greyana until, months ago, some anons on here asked me how I felt about the writer who was allegedly using AI and stealing from my fic, and others, to make their own. I kind of laughed it off then, but then someone sent me the link to Invictus so I checked to see. I read a chapter or so (skipping to when hermione met Tom because that feels like a good measure for a tomione fic) and honestly, I was not impressed. But I also wasn’t sure it was AI, as I know nothing about what AI sounds like. So I just thought, eh, it’s just a bad fanfic, but whatever, to each their own. Moved on. And that may have been the end of it.
however.
I could not escape this fucking fic! I kept seeing it everywhere. Recc’d in these various pockets of the internet. I was in a tomine fb group for a hot minute and i swear a gushing invictus review came up every few days. And every time i thought, am i just lame? Do I not get it? And I’d look at that fic for a minute again and think nope, it’s still not good. Whatever, people can like what they want. Moved on.
however.
I kept hearing shit. Being sent reddit posts where users that were probably bots would praise invictus and compare it to blood and gold and blast my work all in the same sentence. And ugggh did that irk me! You can praise a story without tearing others down! But people usually defended me on Reddit, which was so nice, so I always let it go.
however! it just never ended. I have a TikTok I don’t post on but when I’d get on there it was endless posts about and by greyana. Which, again, fine, people can post what they want. But then one day I changed my username to obsidianpen and I stopped seeing those posts. I thought, how refreshing. But it was because she blocked me. I have never once interacted with her. I’ve never even made a post on TikTok and my account is private. She’s blocked almost every tomione writer. Now why would she do that?
then, most recently, that Reddit post attempting to accuse me of using AI in 2017 lmao. The post was removed but very likely it was greyana.
so, that’s my ‘history’. I’ve never interacted with her and haven’t talked openly about her and her writing until now. Because I am firmly a ‘dont like don’t read’ person. But that’s not what’s happening here. Based on all the evidence (oh - they also posted an ungodly amount of words in a super short time frame apparently, which is also suspicious), greyana is, at best, a super pushy mediocre writer who uses bots and tears down other writers in the fandom. At worst, and which is very likely, she does all the above as well as steals work from others and use AI, then plays the victim when they’re called out.
phew! That was a lot. But there you have it, that’s my experience.
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hamzah once tweeted that he didnt care about fics being written about him idk if his viewpoint changed but honestly i dont think so cause hes chronically online still so he knows how it is (also i lowkey think that the tiktok community is the worst of all slushy communities they just make up fake stories about hamzah having a secret gf like every other week and most people commenting on there are really something else)
oh don’t get me started on the tik tok community…i just talked about the reddit community because it’s relevant and topical rn, but the tik tok community is actually something else.
i think, and maybe I’m overanalysing this way too deep, because im high as fuck, but i feel like typing a wall of text rn, so i will do just that. (everything said is my opinion and based on my experience from fandom culture, also i forget to say “not all but some” sometimes so i just want ro let you guys know im generalising) also i mention sa very very briefly!!
i think a lot of the tik tok fans are trying to mold hamzah and martin into the traditional social media personalities archetype, similar to tara yummy and jake and the rest of those “emo” guys (idgaf about them ngl 😭 apologies ig if you enjoy their content) - and i’m not saying slushynoobz’s is somehow more highbrow - which i want to quickly add (i swear im not beefing with like the entirety of this fandom i actually love slushies), i feel like there’s also another facet of slushies (to be totally honest i can have my downfalls and act like them sometimes) who like to treat hamzah and martin (i think i said this in my previous post) as above social media influencer culture or are highbrow because they make controversial jokes and shit, but like - they’re literally not? they’re close, or at least familiar with, people like tara yummy and them. they are very much content creators, they are just more self aware about it and have more “humble” (?) origins and have less controversies lmfao and are less brand friendly - i.e hamzah just doing social media because i think he didn’t want to go to college and martin just being an IT worker for canadians gov who made comedy videos. i think the reddit fans (not all tho!!) want to turn slushynoobz and slushies into like sturniolo brothers and tara yummy’s. i notice this especially when they talk about hamzah’s love life. and it’s like yeah, i’m curious too sometimes but i think sometimes they push it. esp with the hamzah and claire shit (which mind you shes still a teenager and hes like 22 - and yes, three years is not bad but like she was 15 and he was 18 when they met, the maturity difference hello???) or even, and i made a post about this already too lmfao, the whole mandy hating martin jokes (which ik are jokes 😭 im not that autistic) which tbh, in my personal opinion, are just overused and in poor taste.
im just worried that the fandom is gonna become a mess, especially with their growing popularity, and i feel like once hamzah can go to the states again, it’s gonna attract a bunch of new people! which is great for them and the community but unfortunately ive been through the dsmp and i hate to sound like that one gatekeeping ass hoe who calls new fans newgen (especially considering i only began watching slushynoobz this year and would only watch 4freakshow when a clip here and there would pop up), but like the fandom is going to get worse 😭
i just wish there was balance in this community like idk man and that people weren’t so extreme (which might be contradictory because i feel like i sound extreme in this post but then again, it might be the ganja), like yes? is it okay to be curious to want to know whay happened between hamzah and haley? yeah, maybe, sure - they’re public figures and had a falling ouf, naturally people are going to be curious? is it right to leave her comments about it or make weird rumours about them dating? no. is it weird to write really weird hamzah fics (and im talking weird with really grotesque topics like sa)? yes. it is, but my issue with reddit fans - the slushies arent even writing fics like that anyways, it’s tame.
im running out of what i wanna say coherently but yeah i just want us all to get along (which tbh, us tumblr girlies do with each other ngl) 🤒
#hamzah#hamzahthefantastic#hamzah x reader#slushynoobz#hamzah the fantastic#hamzahthefantasticxreader#hamzah imagines#slushy noobz#hamzahthefanastic x reader#replies
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WAYV HEADCANNONS
~ when they're jealous !
---- thought this would be a cute first headcannon :3
pls do requests in bio im begging
genre: fluff, teeeeny tiny suggestive
warnings: ten and hendery's are erm a little erm erm erm... suggestive but nothing too much
KUN
he would not want to say it.. like at all...
he would probably try to ignore it for a while, since hes mature enough to realize hes being irrational, but sometimes if its bad enough he'll just look obviously upset until you notice
if youre out in public and this happens, and he gets really upset (rare), he mighttt (might) just grab you and take you home
expect a nice dinner, a bath, wine, and being pampered all night!!!!!!!!!
he would probably want to prove he can treat you best out of anyone🤷♀️
overall cutie
TEN
lets be real here. he is the KING of jealousy.
he wouldnt even hide it. depending on the situation he could just get the person away from you, or steal you or your attention, but definitely expect him to react.
would say something along the lines of "they cant fuck you like i can." to rile you up since he was pissy you were giving someone else attention he wanted
overall king of sass..
would be pissy about it all night unless you make it up to him
WINWIN
poor baby wouldnt wanna say anything, so he would stay silent and just watch.
when you two get home it would take a bit of prying to figure out why hes so upset, but once he tells you he calms down a little
EXPECT SOOO MANY CUDDLES!!!!!!!
physical touch is easier for him so he just holds you for a while to prove to himself youre all his
overall baby
nothing more to add
i love winwin
XIAOJUN
king of sass part 2. would just eye the person stealing your attention, tap his legs against yours a bit so you notice him, maybeeee say something but it would just be to grab your attention
sometimes would just bring you home if you were out and about, but not often
if you two went home he would demand a show marathon or a bath together, like the others, to prove you belong to him.
overall.... xiaojun🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
HENDERY
(he is my ult bias so i will be writing a lot of him)
will get surprisingly really pissy about it. not enough to be fully angry or anything, but enough to make the person and you notice so the person could leave you to him.
if it got too much he would steal you away to a private room or balcony just to stand with you, hug you, anything the other person couldnt do.
lots of kisses, everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
would give you hickeys so when you came back inside the person, and everyone else would notice, and again, know you're his.
overall, protective + possessive king
YANGYANG
would just be really whiny about it, looking at you like you stole something from him, like a little kid.
hes obviously adorable, but this exceeds adorable.. like omg... >w<
would grab at least your hand and just hold onto you casually, not making a huge scene but still letting you notice he wants you to himself, and honestly, hes fr! listen to the man... damn
overall cutie pie tysm
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝
SOO bad for a first one but its whatever i dont care
PLEASE do requests i have no inspo
tysm
-livvie
#nct fanfic#nct fluff#nct#wayv#nct scenarios#wayv fanfic#nct imagines#nct smut#wayv scenarios#way x reader#nct dream fluff#wayv fake texts#wayv reactions#nct reactions#nct drabbles#nct dream drabbles#chenlizard
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