#honestly have no idea why i'm still making these posts
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Oh God.. uuhhhh.. been a minute since I tried one of these..
Skipping 1, hate first person, just can't do it, not even read it.
2 is 100% Andlàtkyn. There's some issues here and there but it will always be my pride and joy.
Due to not posting on AO3 (even though I really should be), 3 is mostly ineffective. Except Wattpad has tags. I'd say UTAU, dragons and crossover.
4, lol. Literally. Lately I keep using that (only when texting others) and it's bothering me. I feel like a simpleton because of how much I'm saying that, eugh.
5 I've honestly learned a lot while researching fics. For one, I found out lantana berries are toxic to humans yet taste like blueberries, and I have them growing in my backyard. They're actually my favorite plant! I love their flowers; so pretty, and they have such a uniquely funky smell as well. Part of why I adore them, it stands out so much without being a bad smell. And the leaves have a sort of citrus smell? I love lantanas.
6 I don't know. I've thought about requests due to the money, but I feel like I'd either struggle to start writing it or get carried away with it- or straight up not finish in a reasonable timeframe. Commissions? Like art commissions? Maybe in a few years when I'm more confident in my skills and also somehow have a drawing tablet to properly draw digitally. Something like that.
7 Either or. I love making sickeningly sweet coffee or various different teas.
8 Is honestly hard to decide! Off the top of my head I can think of Dust initially meeting Killer with the hilariously absurd question of "What do you mean you don't have a mouth? How are you speaking right now? Your ass?"
9 Believe it or not it was basically when I first got a phone and commented a short story in the comments of a YouTube video. Someone replied with a suggestion of Wattpad. The rest is history, lol.
10 Off the top of my head I can't think of anything beyond something very specific for the fic I've been thinking about again lately, Ninjagaësia. Only time I've written outside of the UT fandom too, I specifically want to get around to writing that version of Zane more. What I had planned for him is fun as hell. An absolute badass.
11 Lots of comments, votes and people enjoying it. Which, continuing the above mention, Ninjagaësia doesn't qualify for. Pretty unsuccessful, but for once I don't really care.
12 Undertale AU's. I doubt I'll ever leave, either.
13 No. Hell, my ultimate fic of Andlàtkyn was written throughout the later half of highschool. I am technically working on an original story on the sidelines, I call it my worldbuilding project because I'm building up so much lore in this world before I actually touch on the story itself outside of a vague idea. About 60-ish different species of people, including the were-diseases. Last I counted, anyway. I'll be working on it for years, I know it, and I don't mind that either.
14 Comments talking about my fics on said fics. Actual interactions! It brings me joy. 🧡
15 My family is well aware. I don't bring up a lot of details but the last time I went into vague detail with my mother it was over a scene in Andlàtkyn (no direct spoilers) and she interpreted it weirdly and now she teases me by asking if I'm killing babies again! A bit awkward..
16 Actually finishing a damn story. I don't mind the periods of no writing until I get inspired again, but what annoys me is when I can't seem to finish anything. Only ever finished Andlàtkyn. I still have yet to write anything for the sequel to it, either! Zeradelsída is still just a bunch of loose plot points..
17 I am semi successfully writing benevolent eldritch horror. It doesn't intend harm, but it is truly.. horrifying nonetheless. The uncertainty of someone knowing he died, feeling his own heart stop beating, and feeling something OTHER seep inside and force it to start again, pulsing in his veins, fusing with his anatomy, permanently altering both him and itself into something completely unknowable.. I'm rambling. Anyone who hasn't seen my Wattpad, read Awakened. If you don't mind ridiculously long fics, read Andlàtkyn too!
18 I have at least 7 I mostly expect to finish, with at least 4 others just kind of.. there. I don't think I've posted any of those, either. I also have ideas inspired by dreams that I'd love to write down someday, though don't really expect to actually codify.
19 I kind of just don't. I work on different projects as the inspiration hits, take a backseat for a month or so, then come back to either the same project or a different one.
20 Hmmm.. Hard to think of something specific. I'm leaning towards stuff in Andlàtkyn. I don't really have a favorite kiss scene because I don't do romance. I write adventure! Andlàtkyn has some side romance though- not that any of it is my favorite. Platonic stuff, though.. I'd say my favorite is honestly Lust and Alter incidentally befriending each other and becoming venting buddies. It's the cutest thing, their friendship is adorable and wholesome despite the background angst. I didn't write nearly as much of them as deserved.
21 Honestly it's mostly lack of inspiration that I'm pretty sure stems from depression. If I could get an ADHD prescription or depression meds I'd probably be a lot better but like. I am completely broke. So much so that those issues aren't even in the top 10 of pressing problems solved with money.
22 Given I've literally only done it once.. not really. I guess I post it around everywhere I can think of in excitement?
23 That one continuous dream I had that went on over a month centered on a Nightmare that was freshly corrupted. He was honestly so nerdy and adorable despite putting on the brave and mildly "evil" front. The boy. Him. Goddamnit I want to write that at some point.
24 Honestly I can't think of anything for this one.
25 Oh yeah, I can't think of anything off the top of my head but there's a lot I'd like to fix in all of my stories, lol.
26 Kind of? It's a more recent development, did it for Zeradelsída which still has yet to be written, did it for that Ninjagaësia too. A little bit of a broad, even vaguer outline for things I want to happen in Awakened, too? More like events, no particular order or connection.
27 A few of those WIP's that haven't been posted... Okay technically just one. There's also the very first fic I wrote that is subsequently the only one I've ever deleted.
28 Angstiest often coincides with cursed for some reason, so I'll just go with the ending of Andlàtkyn for the Apple Twins.
29 I kind of just.. don't. If I do, I start hating everything, and because I'm not THAT bad at spelling and grammar I think it's mostly fine the way it is.
30 Oh absolutely. It's particularly obvious when one looks at Andlàtkyn, which I wrote over the course of 4 years. Really neat transition, if I ever manage to do it, I'd rewrite the beginning a little to match the rest when crossposting to AO3. If I ever get around to that.
31 Again, Andlàtkyn. That fic is my baby, man. It's so precious to me.
32 Honestly I don't know for this one, which is weird.
33 100% Ink of Awakened. My little boy. I have some friends that would rib the hell out of me if they ever found out, lol. Thankfully the main one doesn't even remember that he has a Tumblr.
34 I was not expecting how hard of a question this is! I thought it was Andlàtkyn, but thinking about it.. I don't think so? It might simply just change depending on which one I'm currently fixated on, but at the moment I think my favorites to get that on is Awakened and Ninjagaësia, second of which already has basically nothing to begin with.
35 I don't have anything, oof.
Fanfic/Author Ask Game
Write a scene from [insert fic] in another character’s POV
Which of your fics is your pride and joy?
What are your top three most commonly used tags on AO3?
What are some words or phrases you feel like you overuse?
What’s something you learned while researching a fic?
Would you ever accept requests or commissions?
Coffee or tea while you write?
What is your favorite line/section from [insert fic]?
How did you get into writing fanfiction?
Is there a character or ship you'd love to write for, but haven't yet?
What makes a fic 'successful' in your opinion?
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Do you have an 'official' creative writing background such as a degree or previous experience publishing?
What makes you happiest? New fic comments, kudos, bookmarks, user subscribers, story subscribers, or Tumblr asks?
Does anyone you know in real life know you write fanfiction?
What do you struggle with most when writing?
What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?
How many WIPs do you have and how many do you expect to finish?
How do you get over writer's block?
Share your favorite kiss scene from [insert fic]. If there's no kiss scene, share your favorite moment of intimacy (romantic or platonic)
What stops you from writing more in your free time?
Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?
Which scene/theme was the inspiration for [insert fic]?
Are there any moments in [insert fic] that feel "blurry" to you? Is this a stylistic choice, or would you go back and clarify the descriptions if you were given the chance?
Do you ever "prep" your fics with outlines or warmups before you start writing, or do you just dive right in?
Are any of your stories inspired by personal experience?
What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?
How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?
Have you noticed your style change over time?
What fic meant the most to you to write?
A character you enjoy making suffer.
A character you want to protect.
What is your favorite fic to get comments/messages on?
Wild Card: Ask me something else!
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can you explain what you mesn by monkey ladder in reference to the CR fandom? as someone from C1 i would probably be able to give you the insight you asked for in your tags but im unsure of the angle you are coming from.
Oh yeah, it describes a phenomenon I've repeatedly seen in all aspects of my life but I wasn't aware there was an idiom for it. Basically, it describes how communities/institutions continue following patterns of behavior even when said behaviors are in response to a no-longer relevant problem and even when the people who originated said behaviors and remember the original reason are gone.
So: imagine an experiment with five monkeys, a ladder, and bananas on top of the ladder. Whenever a monkey goes for the ladder to reach the bananas, a researcher sprays all the monkeys with ice water. After enough attempts, the monkeys, understandably, begin attacking any one of them that reaches for the ladder in order to avoid this punishment.
The researchers then swap out one of the monkeys for a new monkey. When the new monkey reaches for the ladder, the other monkeys attack them and prevent them from reaching it.
They then swap out another monkey, and when the second new monkey reaches for the ladder, not only do the other monkeys attack them - the first "new" monkey joins in. And so on. Eventually, you can reach a point where all five monkeys in the room have never even been sprayed with ice water. They don't know why they are attacking people who reach for the ladder other than that they were attacked for reaching for the ladder. And here's the kicker: the researchers haven't sprayed anyone in ages, and actually, they've turned off the water, and if someone reached for the ladder, they'd be fine. But they won't.
So it's about groups enforcing behaviors that arose in response to something specific that is no longer present, even after the group no longer recalls, necessarily, why it was present.
Anyway: as someone with the specific experience of watching campaign 1 and early campaign 2 concurrently, having started with Campaign 2, ie, joined the fandom in Campaign 2 and have been here ever since, the following viewpoints are all imo "monkey-ladder" problems: people carrying forward stereotypes/fandom behaviors that I think originated in Campaign 1 but which many new fans never actually experienced:
specifically the one I mentioned in my previous post - the idea that Sam and Travis make stupid joke characters and aren't taking this seriously. (This sometimes splits into Sam Makes Dumb Joke Characters And Travis Is Himself A Stupid Person. The latter has fortunately abated but it was still alive and kicking as late as early C3)
The idea that Marisha and Laura; or Taliesin and Liam, make characters with exceptional romantic chemistry with each other. (They didn't have this in C1 either; while chemistry is obviously a subjective metric I find these specifically two of the weakest cases of cast romantic chemistry and definitely the two weakest of same gender cast romantic chemistry but they were held up as the only viable PC/PC queer romances given that Ashley was often absent, Grog wasn't interested, and people wrote off Scanlan as a dumb joke and Tary came around after Percy and Vex were already together)
Any criticism of Marisha is Forbidden Forever due to the harassment she received in C1 (we got monkeys who joined the fandom mid-C3 beating up people who were like I'm Not Vibing With Laudna who had been staunch Keyleth defenders during the actual run of C1, for example)
I'm sure there's others that aren't coming to mind but this is a good starting point: basically, it's people who weren't in the fandom in C1 and might not even have seen Campaign 1 carrying over opinions that really only made sense in Campaign 1 and honestly weren't even good then.
For a fun interrogation of this (carryover of an opinion/behavior with no other reason than This Is What I Was Told When I Joined) within the context of an actual play, see Iga Lisowski in The Unsleeping City 2.
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Left 4 The Walking Dead
So, cheesy title aside, I'm ashamed to admit it took me ELEVEN YEARS to finish Telltale TWD season 2. You'd think it would be much sooner considering my nearly lifelong L4D2 hyperfixation, but I suppose not.
The whole time watching Jacksepticeye's old playthrough, this drawing just kept coming to mind, and I knew I had to do it. It took me so much longer than I'm used to, and I'm not too sure if it even looks all too good, but I'm proud of it anyway.
I'm genuinely hoping the quality doesn't get absolutely torn apart, but it's my own fault for making such a detailed drawing to begin with lol.
The background gave me a but of struggle because I honestly didn't know what I wanted to do with it, but I'm happy I did it anyway. I would've been too sad leaving it as just a transparent background png ;-;
And I thought I'd include these, too. Nothing remarkable but it's related so why not post it. I've never drawn these characters before and I'm still figuring out how I want to stylize them.
For those of you who like this content, I have a lot of unfinished L4D2 drawings and even more ideas for this crossover. I know I'm a decade late, but hopefully there's still people out there who love L4D2 as much as I do, and are interested in new fan content. I would love to see a resurgence, tbh XD
Also cooking up other fandom content as well, so don't worry, my precious followers, you'll get a variety of content heading your way :P
#Telltale#telltale the walking dead#telltale twd#the walking dead#clementine twdg#kenny twdg#twdg s2#Twdg#zombies#post apocalyptic#post apocalypse#zombie games#rochelle l4d2#Zoey l4d2#Coach l4d2#nick l4d2#fps#fps games#old games#valve games#nostalgic games#fanart#twd fanart#twdg fanart#twdg headcanon#l4d2 fanart#l4d zoey#l4d fanart#L4d2 headcanon#running out of tags
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another thrilling spirealm update
henlo my friends yes it's that time once again where i tell you what is happening on the bizarrely named drama "the spirealm," i am at episode 25 having shotgunned it all weekend and i have thoughts, opinions, and a gabillion screencaps of ruan nanzhu looking stricken, i finally had to stop taking them because he has the exact same face of devastated yearning in all of them and i was filling up my cloud drive. spoilers ahoy! [parts one and two are here if you even care]
as just mentioned, ruan nanzhu spends his time looking either 1) icily indifferent (when people who aren't qiushi are talking to him and/or dying in front of him, to his vast annoyance) or 2) torn asunder by pangs of desire (whenever he's staring at qiushi, who's babbling obliviously about science or clues or absolutely nothing of any importance whatsoever). here is a representative screencap but he has this look on his face pretty much continually, like he's just been hit by a car. a car of love.
it makes me put my head in my hands and scream quietly, i haven't seen a BL actor who understood the assignment this well since zhang xincheng or maybe even z1l. (who all clearly not only read the novel but underlined it, highlighted it, and stuck in colored post-it notes.) when not busy with adoration, he swans around being magnificent in a frockcoat like he's edward rochester, while lin qiushi trails behind him wearing a fit he got out of the goodwill box in his college dorm.
in spite of being besties with a literal fashion icon, at no point does it ever seem to occur to lingling "hm maybe i should dress a bit more formally for my imminent demise inside the doors"—no, instead he proudly wears his ratty sweatshirt with holes in it. which i sort of think might belong to huang junjie. idk maybe qiushi trusts it, and feels safe in it, hey look at that i made it sad.
massive power couple energy. also notice how their outfits are exact black-and-white negatives of each other, the harper's bazaar wedding photoshoot would have been so goddamn lit.
taking a brief moment for a shoutout to this guy. chen fei i don't even know what your fate will be but i already know you deserved better. not only do you patch everyone up with your veterinary knowledge, but i have seen your unrequited love. it did not go unobserved. you would have been a great partner, you're unimpressed by everything and drink your soy milk with chilling apathy. i'm real sorry the theatre gay didn't love you back. you're too similar i guess.
back to lin qiushi who has the worst case of main character energy since harry freaking potter. somehow the game is about him??? he has trauma??? none of this was in the novel and i'm just pretending it's not happening until it becomes impossible to ignore. in the meantime he continues to sympathize with door ghosts because he's just that nice of a guy. (EXCEPTION: nanzhu literally murdered two competitors bc they threatened his darling, and lin qiushi helped him cover it up. i was appalled for like 5 minutes then i shrugged. it's a cutthroat game, the doors change people. also it's like captain mal used to say: if someone tries to kill you, you kill 'em right back.) i have big Theories about what is fixing to happen but for now i will end by relating that lin qiushi has gone into a door alone, because he wants to butch up and be a better partner for ruan nanzhu. and that would be a great idea and super helpful except that nanzhu IMMEDIATELY WENT OUT OF HIS MIND WITH BLIND TERROR. outwardly of course he gives no signs of this (other than hiring someone to protect his fragile boyfriend, which, if lingling figures this out, ruan nanzhu will be sleeping on the sofa forever).
here he is pushing food around his plate miserably at lingling's funeral pre-solo-door party. everyone is having such a fun time.
and here he is standing in front of the door waiting like a dumb wounded animal. i have a feeling if lin qiushi doesn't emerge at 15 minutes on the dot, nanzhu will simply expire on the spot, like a wolf separated from its mate. maybe that's the end of the spirealm JUST KIDDING, we still haven't gotten to the part where they're on either side of a different door wailing at each other. i really need lin qiushi to stop being such a cheery equanimous little frat boy and START SUFFERING, can we get some mutual pining up in this bitch. (also i need his hair to change in the traditional BL post-wedding hairstyle alteration because i can't remember at this point if huang junjie even HAS a forehead under that vast curtain of bangs)
to sum up, we've had a) sexy handfeeding of lychees b) tender cat fur removal from face and c) stalking your pretty boyfriend aggressively against the wall so you can…offer him a packet of disinfectant. in the novel of course nanzhu bites him and yes xia zhiguang absolutely knows that's what he's supposed to be doing here, we love to see it.
oh and also d) "i'll protect you. i'll protect you forever."
SOON: THE THRILLING CONCLUSION. IT'LL BE SO FUCKING SAD. PS unrelated to any of this but the OST SLAPS and i sing along every time now, that opening song is an unskippable cut scene of a banger
PS gonna be sad when [redacted] dies, he's a real card. and that other person dies too. and that third person. shit it's about to get messy
#the spirealm#honestly have no idea why i'm still making these posts#they amuse no one but me#i'm. gonna need a lot of fix-it fic after this#which i don't think exists in english#so i guess i'll be crying and writing some#ruan nanzhu#lin qiushi#kaleidoscope of death#nanqiu#huang junjie#xia zhiguang
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something i've already posted about in the past but am thinking about again because of the conversations in this episode is that i still truly do not understand bells hells'(well, particularly ashton's) view on what is going to happen if the information about aeor gets sent out to the people of exandria. obviously, i'm not an average person living in that world and am instead a viewer of the media with fairly extensive knowledge of the lore, so i could definitely just be missing what the impact would actually be! but the insistence that it would be a world shattering revelation that completely turns everyone against the odds just... doesn't make sense to me?
unless ludinus has a way of editing the information he presents and can take away the context, which would basically make the "footage" even more strange, what they're going to be seeing is... the gods saving themselves from people with the active ability to murder them all and having a rather humanizing crisis of what they should do about it? i guess the working with the betrayer gods part could be considered the controversial aspect of it, but overall, considering everything else that was destroyed in the calamity, aeor really was the one instance that was closest to being "justified". i don't think anyone who cares enough about the gods for this to cause any sort of big disruption of faith would have as big of a problem with it as they are assuming, nor do i really think it's something that would cause mass revolts against the gods in people who aren't devout.
#critical role#cr spoilers#i have spent so much time thinking abt this tbh. so much of my brain power is dedicated to thinking about religion in exandria#i do admit that i'm thinking about it in a way that is very logic-driven when if in the scenario itd be more emotion-driven#this is just nonsense from my thoughts attempted to be put into words that make sense to anyone besides myself LMAO#i was gonna add another part about why their idea that it will Massively interupt their power is strange also#considering the fact they watched a freshly Completely wiped out of followers everlight have the same power as all the other gods in aeor#but this post is long enough and i feel like whenever i post about this im worried abt how it comes across#so i dont feel like adding on to it anymore than i have sjskfn#i am honestly just very tired of god debates. i think there was more interesting parts in last night's than some of the others#but it feels so circular every time. and i still love you orym for being the one who sees this and i want to give him a kiss about it
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Have you ever been possessed with an idea to create something so perfect in a medium you've never worked with right before going to sleep and because of that you didn't fall asleep for hours just thinking about it knowing that if you don't try you will still be possessed by the idea and if you do try you will never make it perfect like it's in your mind
#guess what's going on with me rn...#the medium is video editing btw i have a great idea (i think) but i honestly don't think I've ever edited anything really#not even sure why I'm making this post i guess I'm just sleep deprived and oversharing as a result#just need someone to understand my very minor but still very real sruggles
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Mood. We've had to stop playing games like this because we'd get unhealthily addicted to "number go up"
Like we'd get a withdrawal like effect, we'd get anxious about missing out on potential number going up if we didn't have whatever idle game we were obsessing over running in the background of our computer 24/7. Doing schoolwork? Keep it in the background and tab in like every 5 minutes to check in on it and buy upgrades. Planning D&D? Same thing.
Other games that use the "number go up" formula often got greedy with their players and kept trying to exploit their addiction to make them spend money, they made it more and more grindy until it was impossible for free-to-play people like us to keep up. (We didn't have a job, so no consistent money, so that's a reason why we were FTP. I dunno if we would've fallen into the trap of spending tons of money on games like these if we had a consistent income)
After getting disillusioned with our latest "number go up" simulator, I decided to try cookie clicker because I heard it wasn't pay to win. Yeah, I used an autoclicker too. And CC was pretty neat and all, it wasn't exploitative, which I appreciate- it was a grindy game in its purest state, grinding for the sake of grinding, gaining numbers for the hell of it, instead of trying to make money off of players- but since it wasn't actively trying to exploit us with FOMO it let us stop and think, and we realized we don't even enjoy these kinds of games that have taken up hours and hours of our lives.
So we made a rule for ourselves. No more of these games. From now on, we only play games if we're actually enjoying them, not just playing it out of obligation to make the number go higher. And it was really hard to stop playing since we got that same kind of withdrawal effect, the little itch in the back of the head that "I could be more productive right now, if I just had one of those games open in the background while I write I would be more productive" but we had to just fight that.
Anyway, that's not to say nobody should play these games. I'm not writing this to shame anyone for playing them, I'm not trying to sound preachy and hope that it doesn't come off that way- this comic just reminded me of our experience with these types of games and I felt like talking about it since we were addicted to these kinds of games for a good while. Some people will definitely be able to handle the addicting nature of these games better than we can. Some people genuinely enjoy the grind because it lets them just turn off their brain for a little while or not have to focus too much on something. Just be mindful to not let it become an addiction, is all.
So yeah that's the story of how we had an addiction to really grindy idle games
-Emyr (he/it)
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#video game addiction#game addiction#emyr post#we used to play idle champions of the forgotten realms an unhealthy amount since we really like D&D#to be fair that game taught us about a lot of important D&D figures we otherwise wouldn't recognize so we're grateful for that#Like Jarlaxle. we wouldn't have known who the hell he was while prepping our out of the abyss campaign without that game having him#and that game gave us an idea for his personality which will be really useful for playing him as an npc#and it also made him grow on us#idk how accurate the game's personality was of him but still we started out indifferent and ended up liking him#as much as we'd like to our adhd prevents us from reading the books with the big famous characters like him and drizzt and bruenor#so we would've had very little exposure to characters like these otherwise#maybe we should listen to audiobooks more. but i digress#they ended up introducing a battle pass thingy and we dipped#because the entire point of season pass battle pass whatever they're called is to exploit FOMO to get you to pay money and we have no money#So we got disillusioned and moved onto the next game#We also played creatures of sonaria on roblox for a very long time#it's not really an idle game in the traditional sense it's supposed to be a creature survival game#honestly the creature designs are awesome and the flight mechanics in that game really feels satisfying to use#like there's flapping and gliding and soaring and wind currents and you have to manage your stamina and aiming downwards makes you faster#really pleasing for me since i'm otherkin#most games just make flight like creative mode minecraft and it's boring#unfortunately it has a gacha system for getting new creatures and the only reliable way to get currency is to afk and check in now and then#so you don't get kicked for afk or die of hunger or thirst#the intention is that you get currency for playing the game more but there's nothing to do as long as you keep your creature fed and watere#the missions system helped this problem a little bit but not a huge amount in our experience#so that's why it becomes afk hell unless you want to hunt other players for sport but killing for fun is generally frowned on by many#since most players are just trying to afk for money since there's nothing else to do#so if you kill them it's really inconvenient for their grind but it's also the only form of entertainment unless a seasonal event is on#and if the seasonal event is on then you feel rushed to grind for event currency to get the cool new creatures#oh today i learned there's a maximum tag cap oops
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hello hello!! i bought homicipher the day it came out and i'm so in love with it.. but there's no content whatsoever and i'm so sad 😭😭 could you write literally anything for any character.. i just need to see more homicipher content!!! 😭😭💗
I GOT YOU ANON I've clocked in like 20 hours since the release on November 1st omg....
I've been cooking up something for my first Homicipher post.....here's some general thoughts on the relationships/dynamics with the main guys.
Characters: Mr. Crawling, Mr. Silver Hair / Mr. Silvair, Mr. Gap, Mr. Hood, Mr. Machete, Mr. Scarletella
Word Count: 1454
Warnings: sfw, some mentions of canon-typical violence
Mr. Crawling
He loves you!! He loves you so, so, so much!!!
Do you love him?
He asks you that. A lot. He loves to be reassured that you adore him. And he's always vocal about how much he adores you.
He follows you everywhere, like a lost puppy. It's honestly so endearing and sweet. He's constantly on the lookout for you.
He also adores physical touch, once he knows it's fine. Other than the little headpats, he likes to touch your legs, especially your calves. In times of rest he's incredibly cuddly and loves to nuzzle into you.
Pet his hair and he'll melt immediately. It's so relaxing to him.
He's usually with you, but when he's not he's often on the lookout for gifts and trophies to bring to you. He just wants to make you happy, in any way possible. The second there's anything you mention liking or being fond of, it's a priority for him to see if he can scrounge it up.
If you'll let him, he'd love to touch your hair. He will play with it and make silly nonsensical braids and giggle quietly to himself all the while.
He's a bit of a chatterbox. He loves to talk to you. Any time he's been away he likes to give you little reports of what he's done or what he's seen. And he wants to hear all about your day or your dreams, too. There's never a time he won't want to hear what you have to say.
Mr. Silver Hair / Mr. Silvair
You are so very interesting to him! He wants to study you.
But not hurt you. Normally, he probably would have already dismembered you to watch how your body pulls together again, but since you're friends with Mr. Chopped, he's put aside that urge.
Instead it's been replaced by something else, though he doesn't really understand what it is. He's never felt it before. Or maybe he has? Maybe he doesn't remember? Could you help him remember?
Whenever you’re feeling ill, he finds that he wants to make you feel better. He’s trying hard to learn how to keep you together just as you are.
He’ll get you to lie down when it seems you’re feeling faint, and carry you to bed when you collapse in the middle of an errand. Before he realises it, he's massaging your hair. Think nothing of it. Your head hurts, right? So it makes sense to pet you.
He likes to watch you sleep. He can’t put a finger on why. He likes to tell himself he’s doing armchair research when he’s really just….zoning out.
He's extremely perceptive and observant. He's always checking your reactions to things and events to figure out what you like or don't like, or to try to understand how you're feeling in the moment.
He's the type to politely ask if it's okay to touch you before doing so.
He would never hurt you unless your urges became unbearable, in which case it's self-defense, right? He'll make sure you'll turn back to normal and he'll be there for you every step of the way.
Mr. Gap
He's probably...one of the strangest denizens of the otherworld. You're still not sure if he has a body. But he has helped you on multiple occasions. You've found yourself growing fond of him.
You often see him peeking at you from various holes and gaps. Sometimes he tries to get your attention, sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he just watches.
When you find a bag in the underworld, you begin carrying it around with you.
He's usually inside, but sometimes not. You have no idea where he goes.
He'll often bring back little gifts like weapons or food, like some bizarre cat. When he finds out you like candy, he tends to focus on that.
He always asks for your heart before he gives you anything, and you always say no, and he always grumbles.
But somehow you'll always find those same things coincidentally in your path or somewhere in the room after you wake up, if you've taken a nap.
He likes to scope out newspapers and magazines too, and show them to you, especially if they feature himself. He's so proud of that.
Over time, his requests for your heart grow less and less frequent. Sometimes, you forget he used to ask you for it at all, until he suddenly pipes up with the query again.
Is his wanting your heart the same thing as wanting your love? Things to ponder.
Mr. Hood
He's quiet and reclusive but he's there for you whenever you need him.
You need or want anything? Just ask. He'll give it to you immediately with hardly a question.
No harm will ever come to you whenever you're with him, and he hardly lets you out of his sight. He's incredibly protective of you.
He loves to carry you in his arms or on his shoulder, whether you're small or not. It's no bother to him. He's more than strong enough.
Hand touches are so pleasant to him -- whether you're touching his hands, or he's touching your face. He's secretly touch-starved. As long as you don't shy away, he'll continue to hold onto you.
He enjoys quizzing you on your knowledge of the otherworld language. When things are slow, he’ll randomly ask you if you know the names of certain things.
Whenever you both encounter something new during your travels, he’s quick to ask you if you know what it is or outright tells you what it’s called.
He seems a bit self-conscious of having minimal form. What is under his robe? If you don't ask he'll be grateful. He doesn't know himself.
But if you're not repulsed by his anomalous form, that's just -- incredibly touching.
He claims to not understand love, but he'll never abandon you.
Maybe he doesn't understand. Maybe he's forgotten.
But there's something about you that comforts him, and makes him feel safe. Quite paradoxical -- he's the one doing the protecting, after all. But your presence soothes him.
Mr. Machete
He's just looking for a way to not be bored. And being with you -- somehow, it's fun.
Maybe because he's usually alone, so he doesn't often have anyone else to talk to. It's...fun to banter with you, even if sometimes your words confuse him.
It's unquestionable that he's the brawn, you're the brain of this duo. Maybe the beauty and the beast, too?
He's always, secretly, been a little bit of a coward. The second things don't look like they'll turn out well for him, he ditches and flees.
But, oddly, you give him the courage to stand against things or monsters he would have thought were impossible to defeat.
Sometimes, you die -- whether by accident or because something else got to you before he could. But he always sighs and waits for you to wake up again. If you're mad, it's a little funny. You were just too slow that time.
He likes sparring with you. You have to get faster, right? Your weapon is pretty funny, too. So small and yet somehow you manage to not get overwhelmed by him. He's not holding back. He never would. Right?
He likes to pick you up and sling you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Likes to hug you like a teddy bear, too. You're soft and warm. You feel nice against him.
He's not the type to ask, but if you made any indication of not liking anything, he'd stop. He doesn't want to break you.
Mr. Scarletella
You are his queen. He literally worships the ground you walk on.
You are so fascinating to him. He just can't believe he's found someone as perfect as you. Someone who likes to destroy and kill people, just like him? Immaculate.
You haven't and never will give him your name. That's fine. He can live with that, as long as you're with him.
You've likely given him something else to call you. It's not quite your name -- maybe it's not your full name, and he knows it, because he can't quite grasp your essence. But it's enough to be able to give a sound to the person -- thing -- he likes most in this world.
He likes to say that not-quite name, and he says it often, just to get your attention.
He's fascinated by everything about you -- including how small you are in comparison to him. He loves that he can easily dwarf your form and loom over you. It's exhilarating in a completely different way from mindless violence.
Speaking of which, his favourite thing is without a doubt to commit violence with you. There's a new urban legend steadily growing in the human world, of a pair of murderers characterised by their red and white umbrellas. You're the perfect perfectly awful duo, truly.
Even when he's not with you, he's always somehow got an eye on you. Most of the otherworld residents know by now who you belong to, and they'd never lay hand on the one cherished by the red umbrella man.
#homicipher#homicipher x reader#mojibake#mozibake#文字化化#mr silvair x reader#mr silver x reader#mr silver hair x reader#mr crawling x reader#mr hood x reader#mr machete x reader#mr gap x reader#mr scarletella x reader#ask#anonymous
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I’M STILL TRYING EVERYTHING
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⋆° 𐙚 ₊🧦☕🧸₊°⋆ ೀ₊°⋆
previous | kofi | masterlist
post prison!spencer reid x fem!reader
₊ ⊹
I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me.
-mirrorball, taylor swift
₊ ⊹
summary: you’ve never had a date or a relationship that either didn’t work out or end in disaster. now that you have spencer, you’re determined not to let it happen again
cw: referenced bad past relationships, very very vaguely referenced past domestic abuse that honestly could be taken a different way, referenced child abuse (readers parents are STILL not it) again this is a criminal minds fic so references to graphic violence
tags/tropes: hurt/comfort (do i even need to say this? you all know who i am) insecurity, like one line of misogyny and it’s in the past and not brought up again, spencer being soft n worried, HEALTHY COMMUNICATION, spencer is just as gone for reader as she is for him honestly he's just a sap
a/n: back by popular demand !! seriously guys, you have no idea how much the support and comments and reblogs and asks means to me 🥹 the overwhelming amount of love for the first fic made me so happy when people started asking about a sequel i knew i had to !!
read the crossword on the collage for a surprise :)
this one goes out to all my girlies who’ve ever felt like they needed to be less in order to get a boyfriend or keep one. we’ll have our soft love just the way it was meant to be
⋆⭒˚.⋆
Spencer is a really good boyfriend.
Like… a really good boyfriend. You’re not sure if this is how having a real boyfriend is or if Spencer is just like this.
He’s so good to you. He’s just so- so him. You can’t explain it. Can’t put it into words.
He’s very patient with you. You’ve never explicitly stated it, but he’s picked up on your previous relationship experience- or more accurately, your lack thereof. The morning after you’d gone home with him, night consisting of nothing but easy sleep and warmth, he’d asked you out for real. Asked you if you’d go on a date with him, and you’d agreed, a giddy smile fixed firmly on your face.
But you still worry.
All it takes it one conversation with your parents to push things over the edge.
“Yes, dad. He’s very good to me.”
A laugh crackles over the line. “I tell you, your mother and I never thought we’d see the day.”
The words twinge uncomfortably in your chest. “Hey, I’m not that bad. I’ve just been focused.”
“More like uptight.”
“Dad—“
“You know, you still haven’t come out to visit your poor old parents since getting this so-called cushy job. And now you’ve got this boyfriend. You’re too young to settle down. Don’t you think we should meet him?”
Sometimes conversations turn so quickly they leave you stranded— scrambling to pick up pieces of what you thought was going to happen and piece them together to make something new. Something for the new route the conversation has taken.
You couldn’t hold back your sigh if you tried. “We haven’t been dating for that long dad, I don’t want to spring this on him—“
“Sweetie, if we don’t meet him now, why might never meet him. Who knows how long he’s gonna stick around?”
(Sometimes, in moments like these, for just a split second, you wonder how a father could say something like that, to his daughter. You wonder why, wonder what you did wrong. And then, you imagine Hotch saying those same things, and you can’t, and it almost makes you feel a little better.)
Your blood runs cold. “What could you possibly mean by that?”
“Well, you know how things have ended in the past. I’m just saying I’d like to meet him before he’s gone."
You don't dignify his words with a response.
"Come on, honey. I'm just joking with you."
"It's not funny."
"Don't be like that--"
"Goodbye."
You hang up, snapping the phone shut with a sigh.
The older you've gotten, the more conversations with your parents end up like this. You suppose it's the way you 'wasted your potential' or 'never made something of yourself.' They've always held resentment ever since you decided to become an agent. So you know not to take what they say to heart, because their words only come from a place of disappointment and displeasure. It's not a reflection of who you really are or what you've really accomplished.
Or at least, that's what Hotch told you when he'd overheard one of your phone calls. It meant more than you'd let on.
But your Dad's words linger in your head. They're irritating and sharp where they claw around in your head because they're true.
You can count on one hand the amount of romantic endeavors you've had. And from those, they all ended horribly. Your parents lost sympathy towards the end of your attempts, muttered words of needing to try harder to keep them, that you should be satisfied that somebody wanted you at all, that you should try to be less... you.
Try to be less... you, dear. The books and the facts- nobody wants those. Put some more effort into your appearance. Otherwise you'll end up all alone.
You'd tried to take their advice, of course. But the relationships that were fathered your parents direction were not loving. There was nothing soft or gentle or warm about them. You'd never felt more unlovable.
So when the incident with the shooter happened and you were lying on the lecture hall floor, blood coloring the carpet deep scarlet, you'd vowed to never let it happen again. That you were going to use your intellect and wit and passion for what you wanted to do- you'd promised yourself that if you survived, you would try to make your life your own, one step at a time.
This, of course, is easier said than done.
It's easy enough to refuse to let yourself get involved with men who are clearly only interested in your for your badge or your body --though the latter happens so rarely you really don't have to worry about it-- because you don't care about them. They're blips on your radar.
But Spencer? Sweet, sweet Spencer who makes you hot-cocoa and binge watches Doctor Who with you, even the later seasons, which you know he doesn't like as much but you love. Spencer who always has a grounding touch to offer, or a quiet command when you need him. Spencer who puts you first.
But there's a limit to these things, right? As far as you've seen, romantic relationship's are transactional, or conditional. Sometimes both. He can't just... keep doing this forever. It's too kind. Too sweet. It'll come to an end soon. Like, like the honeymoon era in early relationships. That's all it is. Plus, he's older than you, and you have no illusions about your unavoidable impulsiveness and naivety.
You've been told that your standards are too high before. "Struck by the hopeless romantic's arrow," your brother had said once, back when you were still in school, crying over a boy who'd told you that he didn't want to date you because you were too smart for a girl.
"That's not being hopeless romantic. There's no such thing as being too smart for a girl."
"There isn't," He'd amended, "But you're not going to have an easy time finding a guy. You of all people can't really afford to be picky."
He'd been right, in the end. So you're just... having a hard time figuring out how genuine Spencer's actions are. Guy's don't really act all romantic in the context of you. You've been told your whole life to be happy with what you get, and what you've had in the past is decidedly not lining up with how Spencer treats you.
It's a nasty little thing in your ear. Is it real? Does it matter as much to him?
When is it all going to end?
--
Rossi make's an offhand comment during a mission that you talk a lot when you're excited about the subject at hand.
JJ agrees. "It's a little unnerving when the subject is the bruising patterns of strangulation."
That little voice comes back.
Too much too much too much too much too much--
"It's useful," You protest, mouth dry.
JJ snorts, "I'm not sure about that. We need to know that the victim was strangled, not what happens to the body during blunt-force asphyxiation."
You'd grown quiet then, let the chatter and musings of the rest of the team wash over you.
Is that something Spencer finds annoying? You have always found things other's view morbid and disturbing fascinating. But JJ is right. No one wants to hear about that.
You brush the comment off, square your shoulders, get back on with the case.
Be better. Try harder.
You don't seen the furrow of Spencer's brows from where he's been watching you, or the quick look he shares with Hotch.
--
You'd never really thought about how clingy you can be before Emily makes an offhand comment about it while the two of you wait in line at a coffee shop. There's a couple in front of you, the girl all over her partner, kissing and giggling and hugging them close.
"Ugh," Emily groans once the two get their coffee and move on. "I could never understand the appeal of all that. I mean doesn't it feel stifling?"
A little stab of ice in your stomach.
"I don't know. I think it's nice."
"No, thank you. If I were her partner, I'd feel smothered."
You think about that conversation every time you take Spencer's hand or lean into his simple touches. They're invasive little things, the thoughts. It's not hard to pull back on all the touching. You never really ask for them in the first place- always too nervous to come off clingy. But you suppose just taking, taking, taking is just the same.
A quick shake of your head, not leaning in, a quiet "I'm fine." and that little nagging fear of smothering begins to quiet. It doesn't leave, but it does get quieter. For a little while, at least.
--
The hard part is trying to be less without noticeably being less. Spencer's smart- and he's a profiler. If you pull back too much too quickly, he'll notice, and you don't want to talk about this yet. You just need to make sure he'll stay. That things won't—
That you won't find out too late that you don't mean as much to him as he does to you.
That's the kind of thing that can't happen again. But ascertaining his true feelings and desires is difficult, because this is all kind's of new territory for you. You want to believe it's real. You really, really want to believe it's real.
But it's never been real before, so why would it be real now?
--
You've asked around (subtly and carefully, of course) about the type of girl Spencer's dated or drifted towards in the past. You know he said he wanted something soft and sweet, but you can't help but think that you're not really either, nor are you in line with his type. All things considered, you're a mess. Something tired-eyed and hollow is how you feel most days. Some sort of creature perhaps? You're honestly not sure what you are. You've spent your entire life being singled out or otherwise othered- always too smart or too different or too weird or too much or too loud or too quiet or too shy or too, too, too. Always too something. You have never been called soft or sweet. In a demeaning way, sure, but never with the quiet reverence that Spencer said it with that night.
It feels like a balancing act, a bit. Holding all those too much parts so close to your chest with one hand and shoving the ones you think Spencer wants with the other hand.
You could probably drop the one hand. The one holding the bad parts. But you're just not convinced he'll stay. You're not sure that he won't look at them with some form of disgust or pity or something else terrible.
You know the balancing act isn't sustainable— you'll fall eventually, and everything will come crashing down, but until then, you just keep trying. Trying to see if he'll stay, trying to see what to do if he won't. How to ensure he will, if that's something that's possible.
--
The act does not hold up for as long as you hoped it would. It comes crashing down with a glass. Literally.
You and Spencer are in the kitchen on a rare weekend off, cooking and drinking wine and swaying to some little old love song.
It should be perfect, except you're worrying that you look ugly while you're dancing, and you're probably singing off-key, and he maybe wants you to shut up so he can hear the song or dance in peace.
He reaches towards you and you just— your brain shrieks for a moment, all senses going into overdrive and you jerk backward, and your elbow knocks into your wine glass, and it falls, shattering behind you with a deafening crash.
Your entire body tenses, waiting for yelling or sighing or something, because you broke the glass, there's crystalline shards everywhere, the wine red and it looks like blood, maybe it is, maybe you're bleeding because the glass was really close to your foot when it fell but you're not sure because you can't really feel your feet or your fingers or—
"Don't move," Spencer says, voice serious, and tears well in your eyes, because this is when it all ends isn't it? "I don't want you to— honey?"
"Yes?" You croak.
His eyes are swimming with concern as he takes in your hunched shoulders, shallow breaths, and scared expression.
Understanding flickers in his features, and you resist the urge to hold your breath.
"Nothing is going to happen to you because of the glass, okay? Everything is fine. We're fine. I'm not mad. See? I'm not mad. I just don't want you to cut your feet on the glass. I'm going to clean this up and get your slippers, okay?"
"Okay." You breathe, voice hoarse. You wring your hands nervously as he leaves to retrieve the necessary supplies to clean the mess, heart beating so fast and so hard you're shocked you can't see it through your shirt.
He's not mad. He's not mad. You're not in trouble. Your parents aren't here. You're not grounded. You're not in trouble. He's not mad.
You're silent while he cleans, focused on getting your breathing under control while he babbles quietly about the history of glass making and the significance of types of wine glasses. The facts and history wash over you in steady waves, easing the tension in your shoulders bit by bit.
"I didn't think you were going to hit me, Spencer."
He continues cleaning. "It's okay if you did. I would never blame you for that."
"But I don't," You say, suddenly desperate, "I know you wouldn't, I've never been hit, not like that."
He's quiet for a few minutes. "Does this have something to do with how you've been acting recently?"
You freeze. "What do you mean?"
He looks up, leaning back on his knees. Making himself smaller, you realize. He's trying not to scare you again.
"You're dating a profiler. Also, I speak fluent you, and you've been chewing all your hangnails again. You only do that when you're stressed and pretending like you're not."
Your finger's twitch at your sides.
His hands come up slowly, and he rubs the length of your waist and hips. "We don't have to talk about it right now, but I think we should soon. I don't want you hurting all by yourself. You've had enough of that. That's what I'm here for."
He finishes cleaning up the glass, and finishes cooking dinner- he'd assured you he'd turned off all burners when the glass hit the floor, so nothing's burnt.
Once you've both eaten, he steers you towards the couch and wordlessly puts on Doctor Who.
The Pandorica is just about to open when you finally decide that if you don't start talking, you never will.
"My parents think you're going to leave me."
Spencer makes a wounded noise in his throat. "Why do they think that?"
"Because it's happened before. I'm, um. I'm not very good at getting into relationships. Or keeping them."
"But that's not your fault."
You sniff hard, rubbing your face with your sleeve. "It is though, isn't it? At least a little. I know I can be a lot. I know I'm not easy to—"
You cut yourself off, but the words hang in the air anyway; unsaid.
I'm not easy to love.
"Anyway," You say, pushing through the lump in your throat. "I just thought. I don't know. I was worried that you'd get fed up with me."
"No," He whispers, voice raw and full of something a lot heavier than fond. "No, no baby. I like that you're clingy and you ramble when you get excited, because it means that we get to talk about something together."
He shifts on the couch, sitting criss-crossed, ducking his head down to catch your gaze. "You know what else I like?"
You scoot over, mirroring his position. "What?"
"I like that you always know when I need you. Even when I don't think I do, you're there. Because I do need you. This isn't a one-way street."
His words hit you straight in your chest. "Oh."
He smiles, brows a little scrunched, brown eyes a deep pool of fondness and a splash of concern. "Yeah. And I'm thinking you need me a little more than you want to let on."
The seam of your pajama pants suddenly becomes the most interesting thing in the world. Amazing, the wonders of a sewing machine.
"Maybe."
"Mmm," He hums, "So if I need you, don't you think that you're allowed to need me?"
Your fingers pick and twirl a loose thread around. "...Yes?"
A large, firm hand covers your thigh, giving it a quick squeeze. "Yes. Not only are you allowed to need me, I want you to need me. Cause you know how you're always worried about being the best girlfriend? Well, I'm always worried about being the best boyfriend."
That makes you look up. "Really?"
He chuckles again, a little puff of air fanning your face. "Yes, really. I assure you, contrary to your past experiences, this is one of those bare minimum things in a relationship."
"That does not," He continues, immediately catching the brief flicker of doubt and shame on your face, "Mean that it is your fault at all for how you were treated in the past. You wouldn't expect me to suddenly become an expert in veterinary medicine just because I've been to the vet's office a few times, right?"
"When did you go to the vet's—"
"Shh, I'm being a good boyfriend," He holds up a hand, lips quirking up when you can't suppress a tiny giggle, "But seriously. You had no frame of reference, right? And you were being told it was your fault. But it wasn't. You didn't deserve that."
He lets his words hang in the air for a little while and allows you time to process this new information.
"What do I do now?"
"Well," He leans in, brushing his nose against yours, curls tickling your forehead, "You've got a pretty sweet deal here. Just three things. You have to keep letting me need you, let yourself need me, and one last little thing."
"What?"
You're so close your breaths are mingling.
"Let me show you what this is supposed to look like. How a man is supposed to treat a pretty girl. His pretty girl."
"Oh, well," Heat rushes to your cheeks, your stomach doing flip-flops, "That sounds pretty hard. I don't know how I'll hold up."
His hand comes up to hold the side of your face, his thumb sweeping strokes under your eye.
"You say that now, but I know what happens to you when I get romantic. You swoon."
You laugh. "I do not swoon."
"You will."
He leans down, capturing your lips in a soft, gentle kiss. It isn't a kiss-kiss. He's kissing you just to kiss you; just to let you know that he's here, that you have him.
It's sweet and perfect and exactly what you need.
--
Letting yourself need Spencer is marginally easier now that you know he needs you. Now that you know you're not going all in for someone who isn't.
He also starts needing you a bit... louder.
It's late evening, and most people have gone home except you and a couple other members of the team, all still working on paperwork.
Except Spencer, who's decided to drape himself over your shoulders like a cat, his chin resting on your head.
"Don't you have work to do?"
"Either finished it or it can be done later."
You shift your shoulders, smiling at how his grumbles vibrate against your back.
He moves his head, pressing his cheek to your head instead of his chin, heaving a deep sigh.
"Your hair smells good."
"Like what?"
"You're shampoo. Yours always smell better than mine."
You continue to work through your paperwork, Spencer a continuous and solid weight against your back.
"Is this even comfortable for your back at all?"
"Doesn't matter. Need girlfriend time."
He can't see it, but you're sure he knows how hard you blush.
--
Spencer's cooking the two of you a late breakfast in the kitchen of his apartment, hair still all mussed from sleep. He's quite the sight. You can't stop staring.
You're sitting on the counter, still dressed in your pajamas, legs swinging.
"You wanna know something cool?"
"You know it,"
"Butterflies and moths can drink blood and tears. There's nutrients in them. Purple Emperor butterflies are especially known for this. It's called mud-puddling."
"So you're telling me I should make sure I bandage any open wounds before I go to a butterfly house?"
"I guess. I can't imagine they'd be able to drink enough blood to actually cause any damage."
"Maybe we'll have to go to a butterfly house. For research."
"Should we get dinner afterwards?"
"We'll deserve it, you know, for all the hard research we'll have done."
"Hmm. Yes, I suppose so."
--
Spencer's bed is infinitely more comfortable than your bed. You're pretty sure it's a combination of the fact that it's the only thing in the entire world that smells so much like him and the fact that he spent part of his large FBI paycheck on a fancy mattress. Back support is very important to him.
You're doing a little reading before bed, shamelessly sprawled all over him while he does his own reading. You've got a leg hooked over his hips, the other tangled with his legs, and your arms and head pillowed on his chest. You move a little every time he takes a breath, and more than once you've paused in your reading, mesmerized by the feeling.
He shifts under you, setting his book down on his night stand and making himself more comfortable.
"Should I move?"
"No," he says, voice deep and gravelly with sleep. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you flush to him, face pressed to the crook of your neck. He breathes deep, scruffy stubble scratching against your skin. "Like you close. Good for sleep."
Even with the lamp on, and your book in your hand, you fall asleep soon after him.
--
It's an ordinary evening for the two of you. Discarded dishes sit on the coffee table in front of the t.v, neither of you paying them any attention, wrapped up in each other and eyes glued to the screen.
You look up at Spencer who's watching Doctor Who with the focus of a man who's never seen it, even though you know for a fact he's seen it before, several times in fact.
"I want to know the things you like," He'd said simply, the one time you'd asked why he takes your nightly Doctor Who watching so seriously.
And tonight's no different. Tonight, he looks... well, he looks like Spencer. His face illuminated by the TV screen, his hair all mussed from you running your hands through it earlier.
And it just kind of all hits you at once. You know.
"I love you."
He looks down at you, his expression soft and surprised. When your words register, his expression is so sickeningly fond and happy you can't help but lean in, burying your face in his chest. He rubs your back consolingly, then presses a little kiss to the crown of your head.
"I love you too."
⋆⭒˚.⋆
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This post is for the anon who sent me that video asking me to debunk it's claims so they can be better equipped against accusations of antisemitism.
Sorry, I won't post the video since I refuse to have that man on my blog but I can give you common Zionist talking points and the illogicality behind it.
To preface: most of the questions Zionists will ask you are a trap, and will make you fall into a "rabbit hole" (as I was once told when I was younger), as we try to apply their reasoning. My advice is to ALWAYS center the humanity of Palestinians. For example, when a Zionist says:
"Don't Jews deserve a homeland to be safe?"
It fundamentally ignores the core issue: Palestinians are being raped, murdered, and expelled from their homes so that the establishment of this so called "homeland" may exist. When people ask this to you, I personally advise saying something like:
Why must Palestinians suffer for the establishment of this homeland?
Always recenter to the issue at hand—the inhumane removal and treatment of Palestinians.
"Palestine belongs to the Jews and Not Muslims"
The whole premise of this claim is flawed—there is a weird tendency to equate Arab/Palestinian=Muslim when it just is like. Completely untrue. There are Palestinian Christians, Bethlehem is famously a Christian city, who have been there for centuries. There are Palestinian Jews, who have been there for centuries. There are Palestinian Muslims, who have been there for centuries. My grandpa told me stories of how he would turn on lamps for his Jewish neighbors in Al-Khalil (or Hebron) during Shabbat.
To claim that Palestine is EITHER Islamic or Jewish doesn't make any sense and completely neglects the fact that dissemination of culture has occurred for centuries, as well as the intermingling of people throughout generations. To somehow assert that for some reason, Jews and Muslims did not have ANYTHING to do with each other—did not create together, did not build families together, did not build culture together, all while being PALESTINIAN—is incredibly racist and nonsensical. "Palestinian" is not a religious identity—it's a cultural and ethnic one.
Also, it does not negate the core issue—Palestinians are being killed, removed, and tortured so that others can live on that land.
"Well what about [something about partitioning land]?"
Honestly like, who cares about the partitioning throughout the 1900 and early 2000s. Sorry, I'm not going to list the whole "partitioning" history nonsense. The whole reason "Israel" exists is because of a Mass Exodus, murder, and rape of Palestinians. Everything after that is rendered obsolete.
"Well, I heard Palestinians allied with Hitler"
I don't know how to tell you this but Palestine was under British Control. No they didn't.
"Israel withdrew from the Gaza and left them to themselves and they put Hammas in charge"
Oh yeah, Israel totally left Gaza, that's why Gazans' water, electricity, internet, and food is completely controlled by Israel (this is sarcasm, Israel still controls basic life in Gaza).
Go back to centering the idea that no human deserves to be shoved into an open-air prison, starved, and controlled. Did you know that the Zionist Entity controls the amount of water Gazans receive, as well as counting their calories to ensure they don't have enough energy on a day to day basis?
"I heard Israel asked Arabs to stay"
Show them these papers and videos when they say this:
youtube
If you can't show them these videos, check in the next point what to say.
"Well the Palestinians left of their own will in 1948"
Palestinians in 1948 didn't "leave." They had heard of how the Zionist Entity was slaughtering Palestinians en masse. Women especially heard stories of rape and sexual violence. They fled from *violence*. Again, from an earlier post, that this was a calculated effort on the Zionist Entity's part to try and get them to "leave" on their own and "abandon" their houses so that they can come in and say "hey, they left on their own so, we can come in and take their houses now."
Anyways, the idea that once you leave your house you can't ever come back to it is incredibly odd to me as an argument on Zionists' part. Like if you leave your house right now to go to the grocery store and you come back and see someone in your house and they're like "sorry dude, this is my house now, you left so that means you can't come back," you'd be like, "what the hell!" It would be even weirder if everyone agreed with the guy who took your house, which is what happened to Palestinians.
In Al-Khalil, or Hebron, Palestinians always have to have someone stay in their house or else a Settler will come in and take it from them. So it still goes on today as well.
This is not a point, but when that one person in the video said "Arabs lived under Israeli rule" and showed a clip of a bustling city with mountains, I'm pretty sure that was Amman, Jordan, not Palestine lol. Those buildings in the mountains look like how downtown Amman builds the residential areas. Could be wrong tho.
"There are no Jews living under Palestinian rule in Palestine"
What is this, some sort of gotcha argument? What are they trying to prove, the racist (obviously false) notion that Palestinians hate Jews as a whole? How do they know no Palestinian Jew lives in Gaza? Also, Settlers in Palestinian Territory exist??? I had never heard this claim before, its incredibly stupid lol. You're automatically a citizen of "Israel" if you're Jewish, whether or not you live in or outside of Palestinian Territories. So of course technically they don't live under Palestinian rule, they're granted full rights as an "Israeli" citizen automatically!
Go back to talking about the inhumane treatment of Palestinians, I wouldn't bring up the above counterpoint unless they really won't let it go since the main point is mistreatment.
"Why are Christians supporting Israel then, if it's a secular issue rather than a religious one?"
Well actually for a couple reasons:
Oil interests and regional control of goods (White People Supporting White People).
Weird fundamentalist ideology where they want to enact the second coming of Christ.
And finally because they are racist and don't think Arab Christians deserve to live. They literally bombed a 1500+ year church the other day. Why would (White) Christians cosign that.
Anyways, its a stupid argument again, because it forgets the core issue of Palestinians dying and being displaced.
In summary, always go back to the point of centering the Palestinians being displaced, tortured, and murdered, no matter the argument a Zionist gives you.
#palestine#gaza#info post#maybe i should do a masterpost with links to palestine education#maybe later#Youtube
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For Angel Brat, could we have some more focus on Bruce and Danny? Maybe Dick and Danny as well?
Bruce looks over to where Danny and Dick are each filling up their frozen yogurt cups. Dick's, is a vanilla and chocolate mix topped with various candies.
It seemed he had taken the open bar toppings as a personal challenge to drop a scoop of everything laid out into his container. Honestly, Bruce sometimes wondered if all of Dick's spontaneous flips were just a means to stay in shape, so he could keep eating the way he did.
Danny, on the other hand, had chocolate topped with only peanuts. His blue eyes- the only difference between him and Damian physically wise- kept wandering over longingly to offered sweeties but he was on a strict diet for his health.
Bruce can't believe that for all they have been searching for ways to keep Danny; they had neglected developing research for his illnesses. It felt a bitter taste in his mouth that they still could not find a cure for his boy.
Bruce Wayne was able to travel through time but make sure his son could run long periods without his heart or his lungs breaking down? Turns out he truly is just a mortal, and that was one of the worst things to realize when his son confidently bragged about being able to do two entire laps of their yard without nearly passing out.
He mentally did some calculations before stepping closer and touching Danny's shoulder. "I think you can have some chocolate chips."
His boy's face brightened in joy before he rushed to the counter, scooping the chocolate goods into his yogurt. It's another thing he noticed about Danny.
Unlike Damian, his youngest didn't bother hiding his emotions. He wore them like a badge of honor, letting them bleed across his face as quickly as he allowed sunlight to rest on them.
Bruce isn't sure if this is due to their different personalities- like the night and day of those two- or if it was because Danny had gotten out of the League when he did. Damian had broken him out to prevent him from being killed for his execution, but Bruce could not figure out where Danny had grown up.
His son's phrases and slight accent indicated midwestern. Bruce had no idea where, and every time he tried searching for him, the only thing that popped up was the already small rumors. Was this an effect of the timeline resetting? But why were there some posts and data on him left behind if it was?
It gave Bruce a headache; even Wally had no idea what was causing it. Wally, having been trapped in the Speed Force for so long, was the expert on it. Bruce shuddered to think of the alternatives if he couldn't figure out what was happening.
Bart had assured everyone that Danny was officially an anchor to their timeline, but if Wally's grim warnings that time was slowly erasing him- thus the lack of proof of childhood- then nothing they could do would save their son.
The worst part was not knowing if he would even be able to properly mourn him. Would Daniel Wayne vanish one day if no one remembered he was supposed to be there?
"Dick, I'm taking a pottery class. I'm going to make you something for your desk." Danny says, snapping Bruce out of his dark thoughts. Then he realizes he was moving on auto-polite, and the cashier was handing back his change.
He takes it with an empty smile turning to his children as Dick beams down at the youngest. "I can't wait to see it, Danny! I bet it will be the best one in class."
"I'll be the only one in the class," Danny tells him sheepishly, but a hint of sadness leaks into his voice. "I'm too sick to go to the center. Dad hired me a private teacher to come to the manor instead."
Bruce's heart squeezes painfully, and one quick glance at Dick's face lets him know his son feels the same way. Of course, nothing sows on his eldest face, but Bruce has known Dick for so long he can tell by the slight tightening around his eyes and the way the pain is tucked in his eyes.
Before he can think better of it, Bruce hears himself say, "I've always been interested in pottery. I'll see if the instructor wouldn't mind a second student."
"Really?" Danny's eyes are practically shining , which prompts Bruce to smile and shrug a shoulder.
"Yes, in fact I'm sure all of your siblings would love to take a class or two. Why don't you send a message in the group chat to see if they like to sign up?" He makes a motion that has Dick pulling out his phone to send in a different group titled "Keep our Angel."
His phone dings just a few seconds before Danny's, which the more petite boy takes as his own message coming through. Bruce never the less checks it anyway, swiping over to Dick's to read what he wrote
Dick: You are all taking a pottery class this Saturday. No excuse. Danny wants us there. I will hurt you if you miss.
His lack of emojis is bone-chilling. Bruce highly doubts any of his children will miss the event. And just as he predicted, Danny's smile grows wider when more dings can be heard coming from his phone.
"Everyone can make it!" He cheers, scrolling through the messages, looking like the world had just been promised to him. "This is going to be so much fun! Do you think the teacher won't mind?"
"I'm sure she will be happy for the raise." And if she wasn't, Bruce would quickly find someone who would. Money, to him, was never an issue.
Danny grins so brightly that Bruce wonders if he should invest in some sunglasses, but his heart does soar. Even if Dick has to reach out to adjust Danny's heart pump wires after they get stuck on the chair.
Effortlessly, Dick moves the attention away from the machine with a simple question. "Besides my gift, what else are you hoping to make Danny?"
"I'm going to make a vase for Bernard. Damian will help me buy him flowers and ask him out." Danny's words are accompanied by a brilliant blush, but he seems almost proud of his newfound courage to ask a boy three years his senior.
Did Bruce just get shot? He feels like he's been shot.
Dick's little spoon crumbles in his hold as his very famous and dangerous rage bleeds into his blue eyes. "Wow. That's so brave of you. By the way, where does Bernard live again?"
Bruce will have to postpone his deep dive into finding out where Danny was raised because if he takes his attention off of Dick for even a second, his eldest will kill that boy.
#dcxdpdabbles#dcxdp crossover#Angel and Demon Brat#Part 4#Danny is just having fun#Bruce is starting to notice holes in thier stories#So Damian ordered him to say something crazy#Yes Tim did have to sit gaurd by Bernard for hours on end to keep him safe from Dick
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DP x DC One shooting star later. Pt 1.5
This is more snips and bits about the batfam interactions with the Nightingales/Fentons.
[ Part 1 | Part 2 | Masterpost ]
Original post here^
_____________________________
In a local cafe (way before the joker incident):
Ellie: I am just saying the villains here? In all honesty are like a joke.
Jazz, studying to be a therapist: Mhmmhm, hey do you think I would be able to catch Dr. Quinzel next time shes out of Arkham?
Dan: Probably, stop stealing my food, what are you, Catwoman???
Danny: Oh please I don't have the body for that. She's very fancy, don't compare me to a queen.
Ellie: I thought you would be more insulted because you were excused for thievery.
Danny: Do I look like Dan to you?
Dan: Hypocrite says what?
Danny: Mass murderer says what?
Tim in the next booth: ????? *Aggressively texting the batfam group chat*
__________________________________
Dan: why do we need to be together again?
Danny: So you can't kill anyone again and I don't start killing people.
Dan: right, right.....
Danny:
Dan:
Dan: So.... What do we do with this?
Danny: Look clowns are really freaky. I know jazz told us to stay out of trouble since we are kinda on the bats radar but he kinda sneaked up on *us*. Again mind you. This was fully deserved. Right?
Dan, standing over the joker's dead body: Yeah, but we did just kill him in someone else's haunt.... We aren't even supposed to be over here.
Danny: Call mom?
Dan: Call mom.
Red hood overhead staring at the 2 halfas and a dead joker: Fck if they didn't already have parents I would pull a bruce with these 2.
__________________________________
Maddie: And that is how you make an energy gun that uses solar panels. No bullets and litter required and 100% effective.
Poison Ivy, who kidnapped Maddie and Ellie: Would you like to work for me?
_____________________________
Jack at a gala since his family was invited: IT IS GREAT TO MEET YOU MISTER REPORTER MAN! *Aggressively shaking the reporter's hand and honestly just man handling him the whole time*
Bruce: Ah, Mr.Nightingale I think ya wife is looking for ya?
Jack: Maddie? OK BYE REPORTER MAN AGAIN.
Clark: How the hay is he so strong?? *Still dizzy from the handshake*
Bruce: Hm. *Also had that whiplash when he first met the man*
__________________________________
Ellie: The teacher is so dumb, " Benny didn't invent anything, if anything he sucked at it. A guy named Lewie actually made it way better"
Damian: You mean Lewis Latimer?
Ellie: Yeah! He is actually a really cool dude. It's so dumb the teacher didn't mention him :(
Damian: While I would have to agree that the lack of proper credit is missing in the textbooks, I am intrigued by your opinions on this matter.
Ellie: Please I'm not fancy or anything i just travel and spoke to a lot of people for a while. Plus stuff about history is more my brother's thing, I am a chaotic art girlie myself.
Damian: Interesting.
__________________________________
Just an idea
#dark danny#dan phantom#danny phantom#dpxdc#dc x dp prompt#dp x dc prompt#jazz fenton#dani fenton#batfam
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I've been following what's been going on with Belphie the kitten and his person, Greer Stothers, has just mentioned pet insurance in a tag on a post and I wanted to give an example from my life backing up why pet insurance can be a good idea and why I think it is worthwhile.
Two years ago my sister's dog had bloat while she was on vacation. The kennel he was staying at recognized symptoms and called my sister to clear them to take him to the emergency vet. My sister is very financially secure and this dog is an enormous part of her life, so she said yes with barely a moment of hesitation. That ended up being about twelve thousand dollars of emergency surgery.
Large Bastard and I got pet insurance for Tiny Bastard the same week because we realized that if someone had presented that option to us, we would have had no choice but to have Tiny Bastard put down, and we didn't want to be put in that position.
I did a lot of research about different kinds of pet insurance and different levels of coverage and annual maximums and deductibles and so on and so forth. Tiny Bastard is a senior dog, so this was going to be expensive no matter what options we went with, so I chose a moderately priced plan with a $500 annual deductible, unlimited annual coverage, that pays 80% of the bills incurred annually below the maximum. What that means is that we pay the first $500 of care totally out of pocket, after which point we are reimbursed 80% of any vet bills for care covered by the plan.
The first year we had this plan I was kind of iffy about it. It's a noticeable monthly expense and we didn't even spend the deductible in vet bills the first year. Except that a month before the policy was set to renew, Tiny Bastard got diagnosed with diabetes. We now have monthly insulin costs and syringe costs; there are tests she has to have regularly to monitor her overall condition and we need to do more frequent vet visits to track symptoms.
Suddenly the insulin alone means that the insurance is break-even within six months and the additional visits and tests are something we can afford instead of something we'd have to put on credit.
Our plan (through ManyPets) covers medication, surgery, diagnostics, medical equipment, and euthanasia and cremation. It doesn't cover pre-existing conditions, joint conditions for dogs who were signed up over a certain age, dental care, spay/neuter, vaccinations, or prescription food but honestly all of that makes me just kind of wish we'd signed her up earlier - her knee problems *would* be covered if we'd had her signed up as a puppy, and the monthly cost would have been lower if we'd signed her up then. And there are at least a few emergency vet bills that I wouldn't still be paying off on my credit card. Hell, I've probably paid more in interest on some bruising she got in a fight three years ago than I have for this policy as a whole.
I am glad that Greer is able to take care of Belphie. I am glad that my sister was able to take care of her dog. But I'm also really, really glad that for a relatively low cost, I would be able to take care of Tiny Bastard if she were catastrophically injured, or if she needed emergency surgery. I'm glad that I'm able to take care of her now with her medications and her additional vet visits.
There are a lot of people who say that pet insurance isn't worth it, especially not for young animals. But if your young animal gets very sick, or gets badly injured, or eats a hairband and needs an emergency endoscopy, then it will probably be VERY worth it. It's a risk/reward question. You feel like you're wasting money if you're paying for a policy that you never use, but honestly that just means you're lucky to have a healthy pet.
I'm lucky that Tiny Bastard was relatively healthy before I got the insurance; I'm also lucky that she was insured when she was diagnosed with a chronic illness that will need lifelong care. This enables me to provide care for her that would otherwise be financially unmanageable, and that makes the insurance *extremely worth it* from my perspective.
And Belphie is a good example of why it's a good idea to get coverage even for very young pets. Greer is recommending it because this kitten has required a tremendous amount of care during a period in his life when it's generally taken for granted that a cat will be healthy. (And Greer is not stupid for forgoing pet insurance - pet insurance is still a relatively new concept and there are lots of people who are leery of it for a number of good reasons)
So I'd say that if you've got a pet or are getting a pet it is very worthwhile to find a pet insurance plan that fits in your budget. There are a variety of plans out there and some are very inexpensive. Check coverage levels (you can even get some with wellness plans that include dental care and vaccinations) and see if there's something that works for you.
I personally don't think I'm ever going to own another pet without having pet insurance. It's ridiculous how much easier it is for me to say yes to diagnostic tests or different treatments than it was before because I know I'm going to be able to fit Tiny Bastard's care into our budget.
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mr. big (social media au) - cs55
masterlist ||
Summary: The one where there he was, wearing armani on a sunday, your boyfriend, Carlos.
Pairing: carlos sainz x romance writer!reader (model used: random people i found on pinterest)
Warnings: none other than some cursing? carlos being an old money dream as always
Request: "For a smau, would love to see romance writer!reader with Carlos (he is just Disney prince vibes) where fans aren’t quite sure how they got together but the influence him on her work is greatly appreciated" by my lovely @percervall
Author note: OKAY JUST REALISED I AM A CARRIE AND BIG APOLOGIST, WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT (i might be freaking out about them, but i will always be a charlotte girl)!!! (might honestly turn it into a series because who doesn't love a satc x old money crossover???)
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.
yourusername
Liked by carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, readersdigest and 438,927 others.
yourusername: busy, busy, busy bee.
user: thank you mother for feeding us with another hot billionaire novel
yourusername: you are more than welcome
user: how is she not only one of the best romance authors, but also a fashion icon??
user: can't wait to read what carlos inspired this time!!
carlossainz55: you are not wearing you glasses again, cariño
yourusername: why don't you come put them on yourself??
user: oh, they are so cute it's sickening
user: GIVE US THE MANUSCRIPT AND END OUR SUFFERING
view all 2,387 comments.
user: how did they get together again??
user: i think he ran into her at one of her book signings in madrid?
user: i thought it was when she went to the paddock for some good old r&d?
user: i heard somewhere that a friend set them up
yourusername posted a new story!
carlossainz55 posted a story!
yourusername
Liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, goodreads and 682,928 others.
yourusername: life lately & "between love and loathing" out june 23rd.
user: we love the romantic getaway, and a new book!!
user: we're being fed in more ways than one, and i am not complaining at all!!
user: oh shit, we're about to read the best romance novel of all time
view all 13,726 comments.
carlossainz55: i'm so proud of you, you have no idea
yourusername: way to make me cry
yourusername: i love you though
carlossainz55: te quiero más
user: I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ARE THE OLD MONEY COUPLE WE NEEDED ALL ALONG AND WE DON'T KNOW HOW THEY STARTED DATING
user: it will remain forever a mystery
user: but at least we have content to keep us going through these hard times
carlossainz55
Liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 977,520 others.
carlossainz55: one of us made the pancakes, and one of us stood there looking pretty.
yourusername: hey, it was your turn to make breakfast
carlossainz55: and i loved every second of it
yourusername: even doing the dishes?
carlossainz55: especially doing the dishes
user: this is by far the most romance book thing this man has done
user: i still don't understand how they started dating, but good for them i guess
view all 35,726 comments.
landonorris: hey, i didn't get any pancakes, did you? @charles_leclerc
charles_leclerc: didn't even know we were having pancakes, where are our pancakes @carlossainz55
landonorris: and cooking in a towel?? how is that sanitary??
charles_leclerc: he's breaking at least a dozen health codes
carlossainz55: i hate you both
yourusername: you are all a pr nightmare
scuderiaferrari: i agree
user: damn he got lucky
yourusername
Liked by f1wagss, carlossainz55, sarahjessicaparker and 736,928 others.
yourusername: and there he was, wearing armani on a sunday, carlos sainz.
user: SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
user: what kind of an iconic cunt slay is this
user: and just like that... they became the coolest couple on the internet
user: NEW NOVEL IDEA, SEX AND THE CITY RETELL WITH CARLOS
user: girl wtf
yourusername: no let her cook
yourusername: you might be onto something here
user: don't know if i want to be her or be carlos
view all 44,736 comments.
user: everybody say thank you mom for blessing us
carlossainz55: amor
yourusername: amor x2
user: oh she's working overtime god bless you
#monzabee#formula 1 x reader#social media au#f1 social media au#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz imagine#formula one x reader#carlos sainz social media au
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corruption loser!virgin!matt
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you've gotten head from plenty of other dudes before, with only fans being your side hustle and all. you weren't completely broke, but not at the best place financially so why not? the money was good, and your partners were fine, it was a win/win. not much else to say about it honestly, they gave you head, made you cum eventually and then video was done and posted. the money came rolling in. simple. until now, until you met the boy your fellow industry friend introduced to you, matt. you learned that only fans wasn't his website of choice, he preferred to use twitter for more anonymity. his page was filled with the dirtiest audios, pictures and videos you could think of. the only thing he didn't post was his face. leaving it up to his viewers imaginations.
for once in your life you were nervous to film with someone, it was something about matt that was different. in a good way though. you still didn't know what he looked like, and you were letting him in your house and filming porn with him. you weren't a virgin but it felt like your first time all over again. the soft knocking took you away from your thoughts, three taps against the door. it was the code you and him made up over the phone while planning to film. you took a deep breath before opening the wide door, you opened your mouth to greet the boy but the words failed to form properly. he was gorgeous, the brunette hair that covered his forehead, the black frames that covered his baby blue eyes, the slight stubble adorning his lower face, the prominent nose that fit his face perfectly and his breathtaking smile, the pearly whites and perfectly straight teeth. with a simple and easy to take off outfit to top it all off. "hi i'm matt" he smiled shyly.
picking your jaw up off the floor you nodded and welcomed him in, returning his kind smile eventually. he followed behind you quietly, you pointed him towards your filming couch ushering him to sit and get comfortable "make yourself at home matt, i'll get the camera and stuff" you began to turn towards your bedroom before getting stopped. "wa-wait" matt cleared his throat. spinning your body around, you raise a brow at the sudden interruption. nerves eating you up inside as you saunter over toward the awkwardly sat boy. "something wrong?"
usually pale cheeks dusting a light pink as he looked down at his interesting nails. he whispered "i-i'm a virgin..i haven't done anything sexual but the stuff on my page, i'm sorry um i don't know why i didn't tell you but i was hoping we could work something out.. maybe i don't know" he ramble-confessed. you fought to keep your emotions in check while he spewed out his secrets, trying to keep your jaw shut as he told you he was a virgin. the dirty image he paints of himself on the internet was a story, he was just insanely good at pretending. you should be upset a little, right? you were here to film some type of porn and your partner had no experience with women at all. you felt the complete opposite, it made your stomach flip actually.
"are you mad.. i''m sorry i can leave and we don't have to-". "NO... no no don't leave" you interrupted. quite obnoxiously but, you couldn't let him leave; couldn't let him stay innocent. you wanted to slowly but surely ruin him, if he lets you. looking up at you through the clear lenses, matt smiles slightly. placing a hand on his shaking thigh you comfort the clearly nervous boy. "it's alright okay, nothing to be ashamed of i still want to film with you and i don't want you to leave" you reassure him, giving soft pats to his thigh. with a hesitant nod matt agrees, but not without once last question. "so um what are we gonna film?"
fiddling nervously with your waistband of your lace panties, you told the innocent looking boy your idea. "i want you to eat me out" you purr, biting down innocently on your plump lip. his eyes met yours with concern, slightly raising his eyebrow. he looked unsure of himself and his ability to fulfill your needs. "oh..um i've only seen it in videos i haven't really tried it before.." he stuttered. you coo at his honesty. it was so cute. "do you want to do something else then?" you ask, praying he would say no. he shook his head instantly, "no no i want to, please, i want to learn a-and be like the other guys you film with"
you were ready to film now. the camera focused, lighting right, angle perfect. matt sat patiently as you prepared everything. "do you want your face in the video?" you questioned, respectfully. "yes... but i want the glasses to stay on if that's alright with you..?" he responded, playing with his fingers. you chuckled at his bold but shy attitude about the situation. "it's gonna be a bit hard to give head with them but we'll make it work"
you slid the remaining fabric down your thighs, giving matt a strip tease out of frame. he blushed at your actions, and tried to be a gentleman and look away but his eyes betrayed him. you smirked and set the timer on the camera to thirty seconds. you laid on the couch on full display, your pretty pussy on display for the camera and matt. he watched in awe as you revealed yourself to him, spreading your legs wide enough for him to squeeze in. he scrambled off the end of the seat to get on his knees for you. he nervously gripped the surface under him as he leaned in closer. you watched his face for any sign of displeasure. sensing none, you smiled. enclosing him in your legs. "can i grab your hair?" you asked just before the timer ran out. still fascinated by your wet folds he nods, "you can do whatever you want to me"
after messing around with his soft hair, you found his sweet spot, and held a nice grip on the locs. with that grip you guided his face closer to your pussy, knowing he needs that push. "show me what you see in the videos hm, but start slow". matt opened his mouth for you, letting his tongue glide over his bottom lip before kitten licking your clit. surprisingly, it usually took a couple tries for men to find it. your grip tightened a little at the sudden coldness. matt looked up at you in confusion, thinking he had done something wrong. "did that hurt?" he wondered out loud.
you sat up and rested on your elbows at the sudden concern coming from him. essentially loosening your hold. "no no, it felt good that's why i pulled, okay? i might do that a lot" his eyes lit up and he smiled at the praise. "really?". "really matt" you smile. "let's get back to it". he agreed and changed his position a little, wrapping a hand around your thigh and resting his other on your bare stomach. just like the videos, you assumed. speaking of videos, you'd have to edit this out of yours.
matt's eyes never left yours as he resumed his actions, but with a new pace. not super fast, but flicking his tongue with a brisk speed. kitten licks abandoned. still focused on your needy bean. a new confidence was gained from your previous praise. a repeated moan of his name fell from your lips with ease. nothing forced, not for the camera, but his tongue was talented, you tugged at his hair with force as he worked on your clit. shamelessly he let out a whine of pleasure, eyes fluttering in pure enjoyment.
the black frames dug into your inner thighs bruisingly as you unconsciously pulled him deeper into you. "now use your fingers to spread my folds, kay?, can't only stay on m' clit" you instruct breathlessly. matt nodded and focused his tongue on your dripping folds. slender fingers giving him full access to all of you. flattening his tongue, he started at your clit and moved down to your hole, giving you a long and slow lick. your taste spreading all over his mouth and tongue. "like that..?" he mumbled, pausing momentarily. you nod immediately, "yes just like that, do that again" you groan.
repeating his previous actions, like you said, he licked every inch of your now sopping pussy. you throw your head back in bliss as he continued to eat you out. you weren't the only one feeling bliss as the couch shook slightly under you as he began to rut his hips against it. your pussy swallowed his moans and whines as they fell from his coated lips. once more itch needed to be scratched for you to even get close to an orgasm. you needed to feel something inside your walls. fingering would be to complex for the already hesitant boy, and his tongue was already there. you pulled his hair to angle him to be looking at you, keeping the eye contact you had matt obediently looked up. "i need a little more, you're gonna use your tongue inside me okay?" you coo, moving the hair from his forehead. "yes please, i need to taste more of you" he pleaded, eager to taste you again.
he glides his tongue around the hole, teasing you unintentionally, nerves getting the best of him. "just go slow, you'll get the hang of it," you reassure. getting over himself, matt began to wiggle his tongue inside your warm walls. the muscle stretched you open with little struggle, the saliva and arousal helping him slide in. "good boy, now start moving in and out" you praise. following your instructions he pulled out almost fully before plunging his tongue back into your warmth. "does it feel good... am i doing it right?" he asked, unsure of your feelings due to your silence. "so good, keep going until i say so alright?"
matt was listening so well, all he wanted to do was please you, and hopefully make you cum. he was still mindlessly fucking you with his tongue and sneakily grinding his boner against the couch. his eyes shut as he got the hang of giving head. "i'm getting close.. ne-need you to play with my clit—" you whine, his mouth was so talented. "with my mouth or fingers" he said, catching his breath. "your mouth— use everything i taught you to make me cum", "yes yes ma'am i'm gonna make you cum" he repeated, adjusting his crooked glasses.
glasses began to fog up from the passion he had for your pussy. he dove right back in once you gave him the signal. your hands never let up on his messy hair. loud slurps echoed with your moans throughout the room. the camera long forgotten about by now, you weren't even thinking about the money this would make you, the bills it would pay, the things you could buy like you usually did. all that filled your mind was the boy between your thighs. your thighs clenched and your stomach tingled as his tongue swirled around your clit, feeling your orgasm running at you.
"you're doing so fucking good, make me cum, i know you can" you groan, back arching perfectly. he whined at the praise, but nodded, eager to hear the high pitched moans that came out of you when you got to that high point. with a few kitten licks and one strong lick you were falling apart all over his face. without warning. the feeling in your stomach reached it's peak. your legs spasmed, hands fell from his tangled locs, jaw went slack from the continuous moans, head shot back as he brought you to a mind-blowing orgasm. your slick cum coated his tongue and lower face. matt lapped up every inch, his mouth never left you. slurping and sucking up every drop of cum that came out of you. milking you dry.
"matt fuck stop" you wince. upon hearing the words top leave your lips he froze, thinking he hurt you or something. his hips stopped thrusting, and he let you go completely. pushing his glasses up on his forehead he gave you puppy eyes. "i-i'm sorry you just tasted so good did i hurt you" he frowned. you pouted at his frantic apologies and concern, he was so perfect and sweet. you weakly smiled, "just sensitive". "oh okay um..did i do good?" he asked, cuddling up with your thigh.
"better than good, you sure it was your first?"
a/n - i left this on a cliffhanger for a reason! don't tell anyone.
#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#sub matthew sturniolo#sub matt sturniolo#submattenthusiast#matthew sturniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo smut#pornstar!reader#matt the munch#start of matt the munch#jules writes ★ ˙📓 ̟!!
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The Hockey Boys reacting to you being shipped with another player
Matt Rempe- a Hughes out of all the people who you could get shipped with it had to be Luke Hughes. He's ticked about it but doesn't straight up say it but it shows. He gets even more clingy always pulling you in closer, his head on your shoulder. When he sees reasons as to why you two are being shipped he adds himself into the narrative. "Just because you two fit the tall and skinny + Short and Plus size duo? That's literally us too so..'" I feel like you would get posted a lot more on his socials when this ship starts getting talked about.
Luke Hughes- He will get so annoyed! It's a little funny like "They are shipping you with Matt Rempe! Rempe, out of all people!" Rolls his eyes every single time he sees a tweet. If he sees a tweet about how Matt could carry you while Luke probably can't. He is causing HAVOC proving everyone wrong! he can carry his girl and is showing it off. At a game specifically after a win. Straight out of a movie skates over, picks you up, and spins you with the biggest smile. So smug when those ship posts start to go down and are now being replaced by how cute you two are.
Jack Hughes- "FUAKING TREVAH?!" All of this is because you said you liked his tattoo. I don't know Trevor but from how fans describe him I'm gonna say that he will tease Jack but still in a way that's respectful with his girlfriend. "Mr. Steal your girl" "Shut up, Trevor" He wouldn't take it to heart, would be a silly joke between all of you. "I'm taking your girlfriend on a date!" The dude offered to drop you off at your place. If it's an off day he would softly mention it, only a little insecure but it was still on his mind. Some loving and reassurance will help him real quick. Would make a public comment about how Trevor's tattoo is actually lame, but it's a joke.
Quinn Hughes- With his brother, really? Looks at the tweet and laughs Jack and you would never do that to him. Plus he has way better hair than Jack you said so yourself. I don't think Jack would joke about it, he would probably pull away a little. He wouldn't want that ship blowing up more, he respects you and Quinn. This is about Quinn but I don't think he would let this get to him at all, it would get more to you and Jack. Jack will think of something to get you and Quinn more cuddly in public so the people talk about you two. "look at my brother AND HIS GIRLFRIEND! HIS!!" Oh, how did that picture of Quinn's hand on your butt start trending? The world may never know...
Connor Bedard- Honestly? Wouldn't find out on his own. Someone had to tell him, he walks into the room and just does his default stance "When did you ever say you like older men?" Awkward silence because you have no idea what he is talking about. "They are shipping you with Jack Hughes" idk I feel like as he says that he is walking over making you lay down for a sudden cuddle session. Feel like he would hide his face in your neck with his arms wrapped around you. You would feel him laugh and a muffled "as if" looks up at you with that Bedard smile/smirk pulling you in tighter.
I wish I was lying when I say I spent more than 5 minutes laughing at the fucking Trevor. I was in tears and it isn't even that funny.
#matt rempe 73#matt rempe x chubby!reader#matt rempe x reader#matt rempe x plus sized!reader#luke hughes x plus sized!reader#luke hughes x plussize!reader#luke hughes x chubby!reader#luke hughes x reader#jack hughes x plus size!reader#jack hughes x chubby!reader#jack hughes x reader#quinn hughes x plussize!reader#quinn hughes x chubby!reader#quinn hughes x reader#connor bedard x reader#connor bedard x plus-size!reader#connor bedard#matt rempe x you#matt rempe imagines#nhl x y/n#nhl x you#nhl x reader#nhl imagine#luke hughes x you#luke hughes x y/n#jack hughes#quinn hughes x you#quinn hughes#x plussize!reader#x plus size reader
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