#honestly have no idea what i'm doing
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Scott was just about to go to bed when he heard the familiar sound of the front door unlocking. He froze right where he was standing, at the top of the stairs, flooded by thoughts of burglars or angry neighbors who had found out or the police – no, wait, the police wouldn't do that, it wasn't illegal anymore to...
'Scott?'
He sighed in relief. It was just Wayne, of course.
It only took him a moment to register that that was odd, too. What was Wayne doing here when he had kissed Scott goodbye to leave for his night shift only an hour ago?
He pulled the dressing gown he was wearing over his pajamas tighter around his waist and rushed down the stairs to find his partner standing in the middle of the hallway, in his work clothes and with his forehead creased into a deep frown.
By now, Scott knew Wayne well enough that he could easily decipher his every micro-expression.
Other people, who didn't know Wayne like Scott did, would probably not notice a thing, but Scott saw it immediately: something was wrong.
'Did I wake ya?' Wayne asked when Scott reached the bottom of the stairs.
'No, I wasn't even in bed yet,' Scott hurried himself to say. He rushed forward and placed his hands on Wayne's shoulders, meticulously taking in the look on his face. 'What happened?'
'They fired me.'
Scott felt his jaw drop. 'Wh- you've been working there for, what, fifteen years?'
'Eighteen.'
'They can't –' he started in an indignant voice, but cut himself off before he could really get started. If Wayne had needed a reaction like that, he would've gone home, to Eddie. He probably came to Scott because he needed calmness and a listening ear. So that was what Scott would give him.
'Come with me, love,' he said, gently guiding Wayne into the living room. It was one of the only classical pet names they both felt comfortable using. Even after a year, give or take, Scott still got filled with wonder whenever he let it roll off his tongue. 'Why don't we sit down first?'
They sank down on the couch, Scott with his arms wrapped around Wayne in a comforting embrace.
'I been workin' there for eighteen years,' Wayne repeated, slowly shaking his head, as if he had a hard time believing it himself. 'Been loyal to them ever since I came back from 'Nam. Always kept my head down, always did what they asked of me, always filled in their shifts at the most ungodly hours. I had a mouth to feed, you know. I had my boy to take care of. Never complained, never even called in sick, not once in all those years.'
Scott realized that he had never seen Wayne angry before. It took until now for him to find out that even Wayne's anger was calm and collected and he tightened his grip around Wayne's shoulders.
'They told me I been absent too often this year,' he continued, with the slightest tremble underneath the calmness of his voice. 'Can you believe that? My boy went missing. He was gone for a whole week, people sayin' the most terrible stuff 'bout him. And he came back to me broken. I needed to do everything I could to help him. That's my job. That's always gonna be my first and most important job. Everything I ever did was only for Eddie. Not for them, never. And they had the guts to tell me I ain't got the “right priorities.”' He spat out those last words, finally allowing himself to get visibly worked up about it.
'That's what they said?'
'Made me sound like I was lazy, like I been slacking off. Those bastards.'
They continued to sit in silence for a while. Scott listened to the clock on the wall behind them, invisibly ticking away the seconds and minutes Wayne needed to come back to himself.
'They probably can't fire you just like that,' Scott finally said. 'I don't think they're allowed to do that; you should take a look at your contract to check.'
Wayne scoffed. 'And what then? Spend the income I don't have no more on some lawyer who ain't gonna help me anyway?'
Oftentimes, when it was only the two of them, shielded away from the outside world together, it was easy to forget how different they actually were. But right now, the obvious differences of their circumstances came crashing down on them like a painful hailstorm: Wayne had lost his job and his fears of not being able to make ends meet anymore were more real and valid than Scott could probably imagine.
He squeezed Wayne's shoulder to make clear to him that he understood.
'You're good at what you do, Wayne,' he continued in a soft voice. 'Your hands are pure magic, you can fix anything. You'll find a new job in no time. Maybe this was a good thing; you'll be able to find something that makes you happy.'
'Somethin' that makes me happy?' Wayne echoed, a disbelieving, almost defiant look in his eyes that made him look more like his nephew than ever. 'Scott.' He said his name fondly, but there was something underneath it, something that almost sounded like pity. 'Folk like me... We don't get that luxury. We live paycheck to paycheck. I miss one, I got a problem. A big one. If I was gonna allow myself to have dreams, I'd need a loan, and sure as hell no bank is gonna hand out money to someone who lives in Forest Hills.'
Wayne had told him, once, how he used to dream of starting his own company, getting himself a van filled with tools and making a name for himself as Hawkins' most reliable handyman. He had told Scott how impossible that dream turned out to be when you were named Munson, had no high school diploma and no one to vouch for you – and how that dream had officially died when his nephew showed up on his doorstep with nothing but a change of clothes and a rumbling stomach.
They had never talked about it since. Scott knew that Wayne wouldn't want it to sound like Eddie had come between him and his dream, that it wasn't like that at all, that Eddie easily was the best thing that ever happened to him, even if it meant working nights at the plant until his death.
'What if you got yourself an investor?' Scott tried to keep his voice light.
'Scott.' It sounded like there was a warning in Wayne's voice – like he knew exactly what plan Scott had in mind and like he would never even consider it.
'I'm serious about it!'
'I ain't gonna be your charity case.'
'That's not what this is,' Scott protested. 'It'd be a loan, because I believe in you and because I want you to live your dream. You deserve it. I have the income to provide for a whole family, and for years, my only family member has been a well-behaved snake who doesn't ask for much. I'm not suggesting to provide for you, I know you wouldn't want that. I'm just... offering you a way out. Because I care about you.'
Wayne sighed heavily. He switched in Scott's arms, leaned closer towards him to place a gentle kiss against his lips.
'I love you,' he said. 'I ain't takin' your money.'
Scott sighed, too. He could've seen this one coming, of course; Wayne Munson and his damn pride.
'Alright, then. You wanna stay here for the night?' he asked, knowing it would be pointless to continue the conversation.
'You can go to bed,' Wayne answered. 'I ain't tired yet. Was counting on workin' till sunup, remember,' he added darkly.
Scott hummed, pulled Wayne closer towards himself. 'You can still keep me company, now that you're here anyway. I don't have to go to sleep right away,' he said in a low voice, shooting Wayne a meaningful glance to make sure he wouldn't miss the hidden meaning behind those words. 'And you should allow yourself some rest.' He pressed his lips against Wayne's. 'Maybe we could try and get you out of that night owl rhythm, now that you don't need it anymore. Means we finally get to spend more than one hour a night in bed together.' He placed another kiss at Wayne's temple, one that seemed to persuade him, judging by the way he finally started to let himself melt into Scott's touches.
'Alright, I'll come upstairs with you,' he murmured. 'Remind me to call Eddie in the morning.'
'Hey.' Scott stretched out his hand and let his fingers glide over the crease between Wayne's eyebrows, as if he could simply wipe all his worries away in one single sweep. 'We'll figure something out. I'm not letting you struggle with this all by yourself. You're not alone in this world anymore; better get used to that, love.'
Wayne didn't say anything, but Scott hadn't really expected him to, anyway. He just hoped that his words would stick with Wayne until the morning.
---
It was one of those beautiful sunny days and both Scott and Steve were over at the trailer, enjoying a simple lazy afternoon with not much going on except for soaking up the warm sunlight together and listening to the birds that were singing their hearts out in the trees at the edge of the woods. It was peaceful – but not peaceful enough for Wayne to forget about his money issues. The steel factory preferred strong young guys over old men like Wayne and the mechanic didn't currently need any new employees. If he didn't find something within two weeks, he might not be able to make rent. He kept shooting worried glances at Eddie, afraid that the boy might notice his fretting. He didn't want him to worry yet, needed to find some way out by himself before Eddie would realize how tight their money was; preferably one that wouldn't involve some sort of humiliating dependence on his partner.
'C'mon, I need to show you something,' said Eddie in a hushed voice, startling him from his brooding.
Slightly confused, Wayne followed him, leaving Scott and Steve in each other's company on the porch.
'Everythin' alright?' he asked Eddie when they were out of earshot of the two other men.
Eddie shot him a wide, excited grin. 'Couldn't be better,' he said. 'You see that van over there? That's yours. I raised some money to get you to start your own company.'
'Oh hell no,' Wayne answered immediately, a hollow feeling settling in his chest. 'I'm an honest man, you know I ain't takin' your damn drug money.'
Eddie gasped, dramatically clutching at his heart. 'First of all, rude,' he said, 'and second, it's not my money; man, I wish selling drugs would pay that well.'
Wayne's eyes flashed over Eddie's head, towards Scott, who was animatedly talking to Steve, waving his arms around the way he always did when something got him all excited. He suppressed a smile at the sight and tried to look stern and annoyed when he focused his attention back to Eddie.
'Did Scott set you up to this?'
And Eddie got that way too innocent look in his eyes that was telling Wayne all he needed to know within a second.
'No...' he said. 'It's actually, um – Steve's parents. Who wanted to invest in your business.'
Wayne crossed his arms in front of his chest, giving his nephew the most intimidating glare he could muster.
'Steve's parents, huh?'
'Yeah.' Eddie nodded vigorously, still all wide-eyed.
'They came around to their son bein' a queer and dating trailer trash, and decided to invest in his piss poor father-in-law's business?'
'Hmhm, yep.' More fervent nodding.
'Well, I guess I should go congratulate the boy, then.'
Wayne started walking back towards the trailer and got exactly what he expected:
'No! Okay, they didn't – it's Steve's college money, alright? He still had access to it, and he doesn't wanna go to college anyway, and we both wanted to spite his parents – it was the perfect setup! And he didn't pay for everything, alright?' Something gentler crossed over Eddie's face. 'Everybody chipped in with whatever they could spare. A couple of bucks for an advertisement in the paper, a nice new screwdriver set, some unused tools that the Wheelers found in their garage...'
Wayne felt a lump in his throat at those words. He didn't have to ask who Eddie meant by “everybody” – he knew exactly who had been there for his boy when Eddie most needed people to have his back. Over the past year, all those kids had become like family to Wayne as well.
'Okay, and yeah, maybe there also was an anonymous investor who believes in you and wants you to be happy,' Eddie admitted. 'Look, they all love you, man. You gave them – us – a place where we could feel safe. Where we could be ourselves. And you can't –' tears were appearing in Eddie's eyes now, 'you can't express any of that in money, you know. So just – just be grateful, okay?' He took a quick breath to recollect himself and Wayne politely pretended like he didn't notice.
'We already got you the van, Will designed a logo with me, it's already on it, and it looks really cool – even if I say so myself. Look, if you can't accept it out of love, can you at least accept it out of spite for Steve's parents?'
Wayne abruptly pulled Eddie towards him and wrapped him up in a brusque embrace, ruffling his hair and patting his back.
'I love you, Ed.'
It wasn't something he said often. He tried, especially since everything that happened last year, since he almost lost his Eddie, but it was still difficult, to say such powerful words out loud. It didn't come naturally for him. He preferred showing it rather than saying it. But he had learned that it sometimes needed to be said.
'Love you too, man,' Eddie murmured, squeezing him tightly in response.
---
When the evening fell and Steve and Eddie had left to go out for burgers at the diner across town, Wayne walked up to Scott, who was already rummaging around in the trailer's tiny kitchen about to cook up something delicious. He caught his partner's attention by placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, and Scott looked back at him with a vaguely distracted look in his eyes.
'You are an evil man, Scott Clarke.'
And Wayne could see that Scott immediately understood what he was referring to; the lines around his eyes deepened as he started smiling that slightly mischievous smile Wayne loved so much.
'Why? Because I want you to be happy?'
'Cause you went and exploited my weakness. You know I can never say no to Eddie.'
Scott's smile widened.
'So... Are you mad at me?'
Wayne huffed. He wrapped his arms around Scott's waist, tugged him closer, tightened his grip when an adorably surprised sound escaped from Scott's throat.
'Thank you,' he said.
And Scott started beaming like the goddamn sun before he leaned in to press his lips against Wayne's.
#back on my clarkson bullshit#i just want them to be happy okay#also if anyone wants to give me some honest feedback on wayne's southern dialect PLEASE DO bc english isn't my native language and i#honestly have no idea what i'm doing#don't mind me rambling about stranger things#wayne munson#scott clarke#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie#stranger things#fruity ficlet
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avatar Zuko AU wherein is he learns he's the Avatar only after being banished wholesale to the Earth Kingdom and immediately goes. well. fuck. and proceeds to go on the most unconventional journey to master the four elements known to man.
first stop? well, he might as well check out the Air Temples. They're a good place to hide, since he's pretty sure all three surviving nations would like him dead. he ends up in the Southern Air Temple, and winds up laying the bodies there to rest... after he spends several days searching the temple for anything pertaining to how airbenders are actually laid to rest.
he does not expect to be greeted by a ghost once he does. The spirit of Monk Gyatso becomes his airbending teacher, until one day he simply stops appearing. Zuko assumes he's finally moved on, and decides it's time for him to move on. He wanders the Earth Kingdom for awhile, while trying to keep a low profile, and winds up at the Foggy Bottom Swamp.
...where there are apparently waterbenders who don't want to kill him. Sure, he'll take it. Huu is... eccentric, and he's not really sure he agrees with his uh. viewpoint on pants (or lack thereof) but he is a good teacher. after awhile, Huu tells him he should travel on to the Si Wong Desert so Zuko is just like. sure why the fuck not. and goes to the desert.
he gets taken in by one of the sandbending tribes there, and learns earthbending from them. he's pretty sure he prefers living in the desert over the swamp. the sandbenders he's staying with are nice enough, even if some of their younger members seem... well, assholes. said assholes sell him out one day, so he has to leave the desert.
well. now what?
(all the while, he's leaving behind the most eccentric string of rumors about the Avatar known to man.)
#zuko voice: i have no idea what the fuck i'm doing honestly. I'm just kind of winging it#iroh voice: i am searching for my nephew.#iroh voice: unrelated to that. I am also searching for the Avatar. I want to teach him firebending!#don't worry about aang. he's still alive and kicking. spirit mumbo jumbo or something#avatar zuko au
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A procession of confessions.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan xichen#jin guangyao#lan wangji#When Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao flew into the scene I honestly had to hit pause and catch my breath.#I did not expect them to waltz in and start flirting with each other.#With this comic I have officially drawn all sides of 3zun doing something homoromantic with each other. Nice!#Lan flirting is offering to organize events. “Please...let me open up my planner...do you want to create a shared google calendar with me?”#“Oh...we will have to spend so many nights at a desk working out logistics. Do you want to see how good I can balance these accounts?”#Lan events probably have the best 'stayed within budget' reputation of all the clans.#What I mean to say is...Where are the Lan Wedding planner AUs? Actually scrap that: ALL the sects as rival wedding planners.#The Jins would do high end clients with huge budgets. Lans do traditional style weddings. Yunmeng Jiang promises fun and colour.#Sit with my vision for a moment. I'm going to move on to another topic but don't *not* marinate on that idea.#Pour one out for Lan Wangji. For having to sit through all this flirting and confessing while he ruins his own chances.#He will have to wait many years before living out his romantic fantasies. Until then...he must wait in the wings for his cue.
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The whole "breasts shouldn't be politicized because the primary purpose of breasts is to feed babies!" can be a fine jumping-off point, but I really wish people thought deeper than that when we talk about the ways in which bodies are politicized and restricted.
Like, why's it that when we talk about breasts, they must have some Higher Purpose? It's true that breasts aren't inherently sexual, but they aren't valuable solely because they can potentially feed a baby. A human body doesn't have to serve a Higher Purpose in order for it to not be legislated against or policed, and I just wish people would remember it isn't always about babies, about other people, about anything else other than the people who have that body.
#feminism#dysphoria tw#your body doesn't need to have an Intrinsic Worthwhile Purpose so that you can live without fear#and it is fine if people say this to criticize the way breasts are overly sexualized and fetishized or what have you...#...but i encourage people to not see this as an end-all-be-all argument#because this opens discussions about how we politicize bodies and how we interpret them#i see overlap between this and the way trans bodies are politicized and policed honestly#and i guess personally i'm just so tired of the idea that to be safe your body Must Have A Good Reason To Be#and i fear this may reinforce the idea that we Must Serve Purposes and Be Useful and Used#ask to tag (genuine)#and what would this say for childless people? or people who cannot bear children? if they have breasts are they 'useless bodies'#because i have seen the ways some people's bodies are treated when they do not 'work PROPERLY' and that scares me#it scares me to potentially start treating people with different bodies as Defective and Unworthy and Unproductive#and i don't always trust when people latch onto purpose-driven arguments for human bodies that it stops at that y'know#have seen some discussion amd whatnot so 👍#is it now time to clock put and be a silly goose yet?
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he's not even that light impulse is just really strong
#[elsewhere skizz is hit with a sudden inexplicable compulsion to teach the whole server about maslow's heirarchy of needs]#my art#tangotek#impulsesv#hermitcraft#taken completely by surprise by how much fun i'm having with the ambiguously-on-fire hair#random thing but i've actually been putting effort into drawing *fewer* fabric folds recently#it's one of those things i get like. stuck in#and i want to Simplify the Shapes#but do u guys understand. tango just has digitigrade vibes#vital to his character that he be able to scamper and clamber at a moment's notice#honestly the idea of designing shoes for nonhuman feet is super interesting#i defaulted to pseudo-claws cuz like..that's what they'd be used to using for traction? at the very least seems rude to remove that option
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Did peepaw come home?!
HE DID! :D! luckily it only took me three ten-pulls; I think my past experience of being so thoroughly denied a Fairy Gala Ortho made me more worried than I should have been. may the gacha blessings pay forward to everyone else! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
so far this is hands-down the funniest Lilia card, because he'll say something all edgy and badass in that deeper ~General Vanrouge~ tone and then follow it up immediately with one of the non-card-specific cutesy Lilia lines, and it gets me every time
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#i rolled for him before doing the story and when i set him on my home screen#the VERY FIRST line he said was the one where he's like 'the promise i made to revaan...my friend who is no longer here...' and i was like#excusez moi#(i'm going with revaan for now because i have no idea what it's meant to be and when in doubt go literal)#(honestly same with baul. baul feels right but who am i to say)#(i feel pretty confident about henrik but i am prepared to be wildly wrong about everything as per usual :')#anyway now the question is: do i try for the white rabbit cards or save up for whoever the next episode 7 ssr is#on the one hand i have been living for the episode 7 content#on the other hand the white rabbit event looks SO cute#truly this is the most difficult dilemma of our times
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I am SO grateful that ed and stede exist as characters exactly as they are. I'm so grateful for these two men who are traumatized and messed up and struggle to even like themselves, who are terrible at communicating, who make enough mistakes between the two of them to fill an entire ocean. I am so grateful to watch them struggle and be seen and be loved and reach out for the things they want and are maybe starting to believe that they deserve. I'm so grateful that the show lets them fall in love and get together exactly as they are, that it doesn't say they need to wait until they've become some unattainably perfect version of themselves before they have permission to have that. i am so grateful for ofmd
#ofmd#there are no other shows like this one#I'm so tired of media that repeats the same idea that you need to hit a list of predetermined therapy milestones (determined by who???)#before you can fall in love#I'm honestly tired of fic that does this with ed and stede too#because guess what#you can live in the 21st century with access to therapy and dsm diagnosis and a bunch of different medications and you can be doing all the#right things and still be a trainwreck!!!#putting in the work doesn't mean you're gonna become perfect and never have problem again any more than falling in love doesn't mean you'll#never have problems again#I'll forever be crying on my knees levels of grateful for the unique writing on this show#for saying that it's okay you can be a mess you can take one step forward and three steps back and you'll still always be deserving#of love and grace and forgiveness#you don't have to do anything to deserve you deserve it just because you exist#i love this show with my entire heart#alex watches ofmd
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Heh.
(detail close ups under the cut)
#been relistening to s2 and I just love this stupid kid#he's just so fun to draw...#plus it's an excuse for me to go all out with the anime references and give him different ones every time#and yes. this is a Fifth Element shirt. of the anime adaptation ofc.. what else#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndaddies#dndads s2#taylor swift dungeons and daddies#taylor swift dndads#taylor swift not that one#my art#not my best work and I honestly have no idea what to do with the bg but I'm allowed to do simple bgs too from time to time... right...?#it's 4am and way too late to be up here posting this but I've been staring at it for days without completing it so here we go
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I see everyone being very respectable of Sun's boundaries. But did anyone ask if he would like a kiss? Maybe he wants one? o3o
If not that is totally fine! I will just give him my compliments and good reviews online 💕
great question! i think his love language would definitely be focused towards acts of service and quality time. he doesn’t hate physical touch, it’s just not his way of communicating that he cares. he doesn’t mind if people hug or kiss him tho! he just doesn’t really know how to properly reciprocate (like, he’ll awkwardly hug you back and wait until you pull back, or with kisses, he keeps his eyes open and stays stock still the whole time until you pull back first).
the way he shows how he cares is through food. he often scans customers for what they might be lacking nutritionally and modify their orders or offer them something on the house to help them. a lot of this goes unnoticed, so i think he’d be flustered at being acknowledged. he’s used to people crowding around the charming Eclipse or the friendly Moon, so he’d be surprised just to be noticed and appreciated.
but if someone were to ask to kiss him, he'd be surprised and confused. he's not sure why anyone would want to kiss him. he's not sure if he wants to or not, he's more confused than anything else, but he would like to understand. he would want to understand where you're coming from and your feelings.
#ask the crab#crab chatter#Have You Eaten? AU#Sun Have You Eaten? AU#honestly i'm so glad people like chef Sun#i knew Eclipse and Moon would have their fans and i love them too#but i was prepared to be the only Sun fan#since he's very different from canon and popular fanon interpretations#but this Sun basically motivated me to do more with this AU idea#(don't tell my 6 other suns but he might be my favourite?)#he's so unintentionally silly#he's a sweetheart#he's loyal and dedicated#and he cooks!#what's not to love? haha
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Homelander gifs by request: s03 e03 "Barbary Coast"
"They loved your speech!"
#he's such a sad wet puppy#can't get over the way his lips disappear in his excitement#i honestly have no idea what i'm doing i'm just happy i made them approximately the same size#homelander#homelander gifs#the boys#the boys amazon#my gifs#homelander edit#gifset
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enough reader x character fic. we have surpassed the need for reader x character fic. we need to move onto fic where I personally kill a fictional character with my bare hands
#just found this in my drafts and I am certain something prompted it but I have NO idea what it was or why I didn't post it#but honestly. I'm CORRECT#why aren't we posting reader insert fic where I get to show up as some invulnerable giant and strangle ludinus to death#why do I have to go get better at video games for this. we have the technology to do it ourselves#seize the means of.... [checks notes] cathartic rage
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genuinely think it's good and healthy to follow at least one person in each of your fandoms who reblogs good gifsets but has just...absolutely dogshit takes on the show, or who ships that ship you despise. keeps things fresh. keeps things grounded. you gotta stay humble
#lauren feels things#fandom#this is mostly a joke post#obviously create the experience on tumblr that yOU want#you are not obligated to do any fucking thing on this website#but like....there are a few people I've been following on my other blog#(my real and anonymous one where I do most of my reblogging/fandom stuff)#and I've been following them for YEARS#or they're mutuals from the fandoms I've written fic for#and they just post the most out of pocket shit#or they ship ships that totally squick me out#or - the most annoying sin of all to me -#they post sanctimonious explanations about how the creators/actors/whatever#really feel THIS way about this particular thing#and all you other fans are wrong#(and like......no they don't. unless that actor or writer has said that#you have no idea they think that. also it doesn't matter what they think.)#but I'm honestly not kidding when I say this makes my personal fandom experience better#bc a) some of these people are just pals I disagree with!#and b) none of them are - like - toxic or anything#there's a certain kind of fandom discourse I do not tolerate#these people are mostly just kind of silly sometimes about stuff#and ultimately harmless#but it helps me understand a fandom better#and the fact that I've been doing it for like a decade now#means that i truly never get offended or hurt or feel any kind of way#when I see a bonkers take on something#bc I'm just like 'oh sure you're wrong but whatever good for you seems like you're having fun'#and sometimes ppl in fandoms take things SO PERSONALLY!#and it's okay that some people who make art you like or amazing gifsets feel differently about the thing you both love
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Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.
#disability#this is a callout post about myself#i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned#turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly#i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack#(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way)#(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle)#anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you...#...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition]#i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀#even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭#it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker#and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller#and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected...#...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)
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now there was no reason for lucanis to be given purple johnny silverhand as a plot point and then never have the purple johnny silverhand utilized except for maybe 3 or 4 times in the game (if you saved Treviso, otherwise it's twice) and dialogue. Dialogue where he pretty much just says weird and funny things and occasionally gets scolded like a dog which is entertaining sure but there is Literally A Demon In One Of The Companions Why Is This Not A Bigger Deal
#i think i've pinpointed what annoys me about the treviso vs minrathrous thing#it's not that neve or lucanis get mad at you but that you can't like. fix it. or talk about it.#you get 'punished' for picking one and it feels like it should be Worse#lucanis Especially winds up suffering in content bc of it and he's already hurting with content as it is#but apparently according to m kirby he never stops feeling betrayed which is valid#but why can't we fix it? or confront it? Why can't we have a rival situation? or see the effects of spite bc of it.#bc the Hardened thing is literally Nothing on both of them lmao oh no they wont heal me i guess#this man should be pissed at me and apparently he always was? despite us being friends? sort of? by the end?#like it's not even that Lucanis gets Mad at me (wish he'd show it) it's that this is a bioware game and i should be able to confront this#but no. just a choice where ultimately nothing happens but a map change and you don't get a mission/certain cutscenes#and lucanis or neve will go 'i'm doing this and you don't get a say' like ok that's fine and deserved#i just think spite should've potentially taken over lucanis more in a rival situation bc he's so hurt by the worst year of his life#and spite should be gnawing at the bit because this and the rest of the horrors pisses lucanis off#i also think neve should've tried blood magic for funsies esp if she becomes super determined to protect Dock Town but whateverr#i know these tags are slightly off topic but the point is SPITE SHOULDVE BEEN USED MOREEEE i'm so mad#honestly in my deluded hopes that this was going to be truly Bioware i thought Lucanis was going to have an anders situation#and spite would be more in control even if it's still Lucanis. just more volatile and sad.#and maybe it was going to be difficult but the idea that you could've potentially saved him by proving you were going to be there for him#ughhhh it's so annoying and depressing. I do like veilguard i do but this is the moment my love for it waned a bit#like sorry i think Lucanis/Spite should've turned Illario's head into wine if you didn't save Treviso. I think he should be that messed up#but i also thought this was going to be a thing that was going to happen with more companions lol cries for what should have been#prawn posts#veilguard critical
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Hello!! I followed you for your absolutely amazing Twisted Wonderland comics (thank you for making them, by the way-) but I saw you posting about something called Ride Kamens? I haven’t heard of it before, what’s it about? Or if that’s a bit much to ask, where could I find more info about it? It seems right up my alley 👀
Thank you!
thank you! :> :> :> (this is also for the other anon who asked about where to find it, I am honored to be infecting the world spreading interest in this silly game)
Ride Kamens is still doing prerelease marketing and isn't out yet; it's set for "early summer 2024", so a bit yet to go! similar to Twst, it's a mobile game about anime boys loosely based on an existing franchise (Kamen Rider), although it seems like it's going to be more standalone/won't require familiarity with Rider going in.
the (very) basic premise is that your player character has just taken over their late father's role as a secret agent, supporting the city's superheroes by running a secret base disguised as a cafe (plus you have a personal butler for some reason) (the reason is because it's amazing). you also have to help the heroes regain their lost memories, and it looks like it'll have a bit of a route/choice aspect there (not romance, just different endings to the character episodes depending on what you do). the details are kinda hard to tell at this point but the characters seem like a really fun bunch; there's definitely big "idiots with emotional problems" energy which I am extremely into.
all the official info is in Japanese only at the moment, but here's the website and the ride_kamens twitter! (though the twitter is sort of overtaken by posts about the AnimeJapan exhibit right now, whoops.) and I believe some people are already planning on doing translations for it too? lots to look forward to! :D
#ride kamens#joseimuke games are serious business#this is why like 99% of my posts about it so far have been just 'hey it's that guy' :')#the characters look like fun i'm just waiting to properly meet them!#i suspect they're doing a bit of a reverse-twst where instead of familiarity with the source drawing you into the game#they're aiming to get people into rider via handsome animes#we have officially reached the zany gambit phase of the franchise#honestly i have no idea what the actual quality of the game is going to be but by god am i gonna play it anyway because C'MON#i do think it looks like fun though! based on the op it looks like the villains might be turning people into monsters?#and the chaostones are from space or something WHY NOT#(also i was SO happy to see that there's a background that looks like our old friend the Wireworks and Explosion Factory)#(you made it in! can't wait for a character to dramatically explode in you ❤️)#(man i hope nijigao city is just full of toku landmarks)#(round up all the boys for a field trip to the local quarry surely nothing will go wrong there)
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Wrote a scene for PPAU in which Megatron convinces the DJD to accept a peace treaty with the Autobots (that doesn't constitute rebuilding and then stabbing them in the back). And when I was outlining/brainstorming I was like, "okay Megatron is probably going to have to make an example of some DJD member who lashes out and refuses to accept it. There's gonna be a little fucked up cult violence in here"
Except no, that smooth son of a bitch gave the DJD a speech that so effortlessly tied them up in his new peacetime plans that the most opposition he got was a muttered comment by one single member. My man used the brainwashing of nationalism and patriotism to counteract the cult brainwashing. He made a rhetorical appeal so sound that any member of the DJD who tried to argue against the peace treaty would sound like they were opposed to reclaiming Cybertron, their homeland, and ensuring the well-being of their own loyal soldiers. I was like "MEGATRON THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MORE CONFLICT IN THIS SCENE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CHOKE-LIFT A BITCH OR AT LEAST RIP OFF TARN'S MASK AS A DRAMATIC GESTURE OR SOMETHING" and the Megatron in my brain went "hahaha no" and charmed the DJD so thoroughly that there wasn't even a single raised voice. Charismatic son of a bitch
#wip stuff#i do think megatron's charismatic political side is like one of the coolest sides he has#i feel like with the majority of idw (and idw fanon) either focused on evil villain megatron#or mtmte sad and diminished megatron. ppl forget that this guy raised a whole army#not forgot exactly but like. i feel like i haven't seen much content emphasizing the CHARISMA specifically?#in the sense that this guy is a fucking wordsmith. an orator. he went from just a miner who wrote to a gladiator to a warlord#to like the full on leader of what was (briefly) a whole constellate or w/e of decepticon owned planets#that prowl quote about how his most dangerous weapon is his words was revealed to me akldjlksd#it sounds vain given that he's a fictional character and i'm the one writing him#but like gdi i had something different in mind for this scene i wanted it to be more tense and fraught#but then megatron was like. nah i'm going to defuse my mini group of cultists with a single dramatic speech#bc honestly when i look at my ideas vs how the scene turned out#it does make sense that rather than inviting dissent and having to beat the DJD into submission#megatron would instead spin a web of rhetoric to keep them under his hand and make them feel like this is their idea#or like that he completely changed decepticon ideology to work with the autobots but this isn't a betrayal at all it's just a new direction#w/ ppl that dangerous it fully makes sense that M would opt for a charming and disarming approach you know#anyways fuck this guy he's so fucking smart and charismatic and manipulative and he makes it look easy
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