#honestly don’t know what I’m spouting here but it’s funny so

[evafhernee]

I think I’d be funny if pac had one of those necklace heart lockets that looked like those hearts opening to “___ my beloved” memes and it just had a picture of fit’s cubito inside. like, full-body, white background default minecraft walking pose

that way he can open up the locket and dramatically sigh like an old soldier looking at his dead wife’s photo from the 1960’s even though they’re technically not dating because the one they were supposed to go to was cut off by not one but TWO lore-related events.

[bloody-bee-tea]

24 Days of Satosugu 2023 Day 15 - Glass Bottle

Suguru is looking forward to his bed after this mission, but of course Satoru wouldn’t quite think the same.

“Satoru, please,” Suguru breathes out when Satoru drags him off to a café.

“I need some sweets,” is all Satoru says, which has to be a blatant lie because they passed two other cafés on their way here.

“And the other ones weren’t good enough for you?” Suguru asks and is treated to the rare sight of Satoru blushing.

“I want to try this one,” he stubbornly says, and Suguru knows him well enough to know that he’s lying.

“What’s so special about this one, then?” Suguru asks, and of course Satoru opens his mouth but no actual words come out. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Suguru mutters and flicks Satoru’s forehead. “You’re such a menace.”

“I’m sorry,” Satoru says, uncharacteristically apologetic and it immediately makes Suguru frown.

“Are you hurt? Did you get hit somehow?” He knows Satoru keeps Infinity on at all times now—with Suguru being the exception—but there’s always the danger of a curse negating his technique.

“No, nothing happened, thanks for your confidence in me,” Satoru mutters out, clearly somewhat hurt but that still doesn’t deter him from marching into the café. “What do you want?” Satoru asks over his shoulder before Suguru can say anything else and Suguru slumps against an empty table, his eyes closed and his head throbbing.

“You choose,” he decides, because he trusts Satoru to know his taste by now, and honestly, Suguru can’t be bothered to deal with this at the moment.

“You okay?” Satoru quietly asks, suddenly standing right next to him.

“Fine,” Suguru shortly says, even though his eyes throb in time with his head and the curse he just swallowed is on its best way out again.

“We’ll take something to go, I’ll just be a second, here, take this candy until then, your face is a funny colour,” Satoru rushes out, pressing one of his many wrapped candies into Suguru’s hand.

“Your face is a funny colour,” Suguru gives back, aware of how lacking it is as a reply, but still feeling the need to say something and it makes Satoru smile briefly at him, so he counts it as a win.

“I’ll be right back,” Satoru promises and then leaves to rattle off an order.

Suguru doesn’t keep track of it, doesn’t pay attention what Satoru gets for himself or for Suguru, but he does notice that Satoru slides something into his pocket once he’s done. The one that doesn’t hold his wallet.

“What’ve you got there?” he asks when Satoru makes his way back to him, two pastries in his hands.

“The barista promised it wouldn’t be too sweet, but I don’t remember what it’s called,” Satoru says and offers one of them to Suguru.

“No, not that, though thank you,” Suguru mutters and takes the offered treat. “You pocketed something.”

Satoru’s eyes go wide for a moment.

“Yeah, my wallet,” he then laughs out and it’s so obviously a lie that Suguru is a little bit affronted that Satoru honestly seems to believe that Suguru is simply going to accept that.

“You have your wallet in your other pocket. You never have it in the left one, ever, so don’t even try that,” he shortly gives back and Satoru freezes, a look of painful surprise on his face. “What?” Suguru gruffly says, because it’s making him uncomfortable how Satoru stares at him and it seems to shake Satoru out of his stupor.

“Nothing, haha, it’s nothing, didn’t know you noticed, that’s all, come on, you wanted to go back, right, so let’s go!”

Satoru is always spouting some bullshit but that string of words really is something else and Suguru notices that he must have hit a nerve with something.

“Satoru, you can just tell me to fuck off if you don’t want to tell me something,” he says, because he needs Satoru to know that there is no obligation to tell everything to Suguru, but that makes Satoru’s face fall, strangely enough.

“Yeah, of course I can,” he whispers, but he doesn’t even sound convinced himself. “Let’s just go home, alright? I’m sorry I kept you for so long.”

It’s so unlike Satoru that Suguru frowns at him, even though it intensifies the headache.

“Don’t apologize, Satoru, please,” he sighs out. “This was a good idea and in five minutes when the sugar kicks in I’ll be grateful. I’m just cranky, that’s all,” Suguru tries to explain even though it’s not all.

Now he’s also curious as hell.

“Let’s still go back,” Satoru decides and gently bumps their shoulders together. “You do need to rest, I know taking in curses is always taxing on you.”

Suguru heaves out a sigh, because Satoru is not wrong. It’s one of the worst things, having to take in curses, but in all honesty, having Satoru by his side and trying to make it even a little bit better with candies and pastries really does help.

“It is, but you make it better,” Suguru honestly tells him because he fears that maybe he doesn’t say that often enough, maybe Satoru doesn’t know and that thought is unbearable to him.

“I’m glad, then,” Satoru says with a small smile and then pushes Suguru out of the café.

Suguru doesn’t mention the bright red tips of Satoru’s ears, but he does file that information carefully away.

~*~*~

It happens again. This time, Suguru doesn’t feel quite so shitty, so it’s a lot easier to keep track of what Satoru is doing. And this time Suguru notices that Satoru does check out the cafés they pass before he slightly shakes his head and moves on, all the while dragging Suguru along.

It’s a lot easier to go along with Satoru’s quirks when Suguru’s head doesn’t feel as if it’s going to explode and he keeps a close eye on Satoru, tries to figure out what it is he’s looking for without having to ask for it.

Suguru doesn’t quite get it, until Satoru slides a little souvenir trinket over the counter along with their order and even then it’s still confusing.

“Are you getting a souvenir?” Suguru wants to know, leaning over Satoru’s shoulder and checking the little charm out.

Now that he thinks about it, he hasn’t seen anything like this at the other places they passed, so Satoru must have been looking for this.

“No?” Satoru gives back, completely tense where Suguru is pressed against him and Suguru huffs out a laugh.

“Sure. I didn’t know you are the sentimental type. And besides, we’ve been in this area before, surely you already have something from here?”

“I forgot, last time,” Satoru lies—again—and by now Suguru is sick and tired of Satoru doing that to him.

“Got it, I’m fucking off,” he easily says and moves a step away.

He was not prepared for the way it makes Satoru flinch, how his hand shoots out to tangle in his sleeve for a moment before Satoru wrenches it back and turns back around to the barista.

Satoru hands over the money, before he pushes Suguru’s treat in his direction and then he’s quick to pocket the little souvenir. All without ever meeting Suguru’s eyes once.

“Thanks for the pastry,” Suguru says, leaning against Satoru in hopes to make him relax again, because he has honestly no clue what’s going wrong right now.

“You’re welcome,” Satoru mutters. “Let’s go home.”

“Can we sit?” Suguru asks because he doesn’t quite feel like going home and leaving Satoru alone at the moment, not with him being in a strange mood like this.

Sometimes it feels as if Satoru could slip through his fingers at any moment should Suguru be careless and take his eyes off of him and right now it’s one of those moments. And he’s not going to let that happen.

“Thought you’re tired,” Satoru mumbles, still not meeting Suguru’s eyes and Suguru hears the unspoken of me.

It makes his chest feel tight.

“I feel good. I want to stay, come sit with me,” Suguru gives back and nudges Satoru towards one of the booths.

Suguru doesn’t bother to sit opposite of Satoru, he simply slides in after him and presses their sides together before he steals a bite of Satoru’s pastry.

“Hey, you don’t like that, it’s way too sweet,” Satoru chides him and while he is definitely right it at least got Satoru to look at him again.

And that’s all that Suguru really needs, right now.

~*~*~

Suguru doesn’t bother to knock before he marches right into Satoru’s room. Satoru hasn’t knocked even once at Suguru’s door, so he supposes it’s only fair. There is no immediate reaction to his presence though, and a second later Suguru notices why.

He can hear the shower running.

Fine, he supposes that’s fair. Satoru told Suguru to go back first, that he’d report to Yaga, so Suguru could get the disgusting slime off him sooner rather than later, but of course that would mean that Satoru is a bit behind now.

Well, doesn’t matter, Suguru decides and walks over to the couch, flopping down without a second thought.

He’s just about to lay down on his side, when a glass bottle on the table in front of him catches his attention.

It’s filled with colourful stuff and Suguru squints to see it better before he resigns and leans forward to pick it up. Now he can see that it’s actually filled with all the souvenirs Satoru must have picked up over time.

Suguru frowns when he notices little things attached to them and he’s quick to fish one out, carefully placing the bottle back where it was before he inspects the souvenir in his hand closer. There’s a little note attached to it, and in neat, precise handwriting Satoru has jotted down the date, time and curse as well as the place and what he and Suguru had eaten afterwards.

Suguru didn’t even know Satoru’s handwriting could look as neat as this and a quick look into the bottle confirms that every souvenir comes with their own little label attached.

It’s almost a bit like a diary, with the way Satoru noted down the most important things about their missions and it makes Suguru smile.

He really wouldn’t have pegged Satoru as the sentimental type, but this is kind of cute, if he thinks about it.

“Yo, Suguru, did I hear you—” Satoru trails off, his eyes fixed on the bottle in front of Suguru, even as his hands are still trying to dry his hair, his eyes wide with panic.

It’s just for a moment, though, before he suddenly jumps into action, darting forward and snatching the bottle from the table, trying to hide it behind him.

“You didn’t see, right? Right?” he asks, his voice laced with panic and Suguru no longer knows what’s going on.

“I did,” he carefully says and watches with worry how Satoru goes incredibly pale. “I’m sorry? I don’t see what the big deal is, though, it’s kind of sweet of you to keep reminders of our missions.”

“Haha, yeah, that’s totally what that is, reminders of our missions, right,” Satoru laughs out, hastily stashing the bottle away as if Suguru might forget all about it if he can no longer see it.

“Satoru?” Suguru asks because clearly this is not at all what this is about. “Are you alright?”

“Sure, I’m fine, peachy even, why would you ask such a silly thing?”

“Maybe because to me it looks as if you’re panicking?”

“Now why would I ever do that?”

“Yeah, I wonder,” Suguru drily gives back, because he isn’t used to seeing that side on Satoru.

Not even the strongest curses faze him, so to see him headless like this is really throwing Suguru off.

“I really shouldn’t have seen that, huh?” Suguru wonders, even though he doesn’t understand.

“You really shouldn’t have,” Satoru quietly gives back, no longer trying to laugh it off but he’s also not meeting Suguru’s eyes anymore and Suguru can’t stand it.

“Satoru, what is going on? Will you explain it to me?” he carefully asks and hates how his question makes Satoru flinch.

“You don’t have to, of course,” Suguru is quick to add, because it seems as if Satoru is in honest distress now and Suguru hates to see that. Hates it even more because he’s the reason for it. “I think—I should probably go back to my room? I didn’t mean to—I shouldn’t have intruded like that, I’m sorry.”

His heart beats painfully in his chest, because he doesn’t quite understand what he did wrong but it’s more than clear that he did something and Suguru has no idea how to fix it.

How to make Satoru look at him again, how to make him smile again.

“You’re not—gods, Suguru, you’re not intruding,” Satoru breathes out, though he’s turned away from Suguru, staring at the place where he stashed the bottle rather than at Suguru. “It’s just—a silly thing I do,” he finally says and Suguru is almost afraid to move, scared to make Satoru fall silent again.

“What is it that you’re doing?” Suguru asks, his heart beating in his throat with the fear of overstepping again and Satoru crouches down to touch his fingers to the bottle.

He’s incredibly careful with it, as if it means a lot to him, and Suguru wishes he could see his face.

“I’m keeping mementos of our time together,” Satoru finally whispers, tapping his fingertips against the glass.

“Mementos? That makes it sound so—final,” Suguru says, daring to walk up to Satoru to crouch down next to him.

“It will be one day,” Satoru says with a sad smile and Suguru wishes he’d stayed where he was, if only so he didn’t have to see that sorrowful look on his face.

“What do you mean?” Suguru asks, pressing close, pressing their sides together so that Satoru knows he’s there.

Just like he’ll always be.

“One day, you’ll leave me. And then this will be all I have left of us,” Satoru confesses, his voice barely audible in the space between them and Suguru feels like crying just hearing him like this.

“Where would I go?” Suguru wants to know, because to him it’s unfathomable that he’s going to leave Satoru.

Nothing but death could make him leave.

“Away. From me.”

“Why would I do that?” It still doesn’t make any sense to Suguru, and especially not when Satoru gives him a shaky smile.

“We all know how I am. One day I’ll be too much, even for your patience. I’m an annoying, arrogant, self-centred bastard. I know you don’t see it that way for whatever reason, but one day you will. And then you’ll leave me.”

It really does sound final; as if Satoru has already seen into their future and seen it happen and now he has resigned himself to it. Just waiting for the end.

“I would never,” Suguru breathes out and turns around to pull Satoru into a hug.

It’s almost not noticeable but Satoru is shaking minutely and Suguru only holds him tighter.

“I’m right here and I know you. I know you for the selfish asshole you can be and I also know you for how sweet and caring you are.”

“Right,” Satoru mutters, clearly not at all convinced but Suguru feels how his hand is fisted in his shirt, so he knows how desperately Satoru is holding on to him.

“Satoru, nothing short but death could make me leave you,” he promises him but even as he says it Suguru knows it’s not enough.

It won’t be enough until he’s honest about his feelings.

“I love you way too much to simply walk away from you,” he admits and with how close they are pressed together he feels how Satoru flinches.

“You don’t have to say that,” Satoru says, his voice muffled where his face is pressed to Suguru’s chest. “It’s fine. I know—”

“You don’t know anything,” Suguru interrupts him because he doesn’t want to hear Satoru say this, doesn’t want him to doubt Suguru like that. “Why would I say that if I don’t mean it? Do you know me to do that?” he demands to know and there’s a brief pause before Satoru shakes his head.

Suguru pushes him away, just enough to be able to look him in the face as he says his next words, so he can be sure that Satoru hears them.

“I love you. As a friend, as a person, as my one and only. And I don’t care if this is just a friendship thing for you, if you feel the same or not, because that’s not going to change anything. I just need you to understand that I am not leaving, not ever, not by choice. We’ll still be like this in fifty years. You’ll be your true annoying, charming self and I will indulge your every whim because I could never do anything else and it will still be us.”

“In fifty years?” Satoru breathes out and it’s almost painful to see the cautious hope on his face.

“And in sixty, and in seventy,” Suguru firmly agrees. “We’ll have to see about eighty, but if anyone can turn a hundred in this damn profession, then it’s us.”

“It’s us,” Satoru whispers with a small nod and Suguru presses an almost desperate kiss to his head, hoping he can somehow press all his love for him into his very being.

“You’ll need so many more bottles by that time,” Suguru mutters against his hair and Satoru turns to look at the one bottle he currently has.

“But—if you’re staying, do I need them then?” he asks, clearly unsure again and Suguru bites back a sigh.

“It’s a nice thing to do, keeping memories. It’s almost as if you’re keeping a diary of our lives. Though maybe you should add one funny thing that happened during a mission, so it doesn’t feel so gloomy.”

“That would be nice,” Satoru says and reaches out to touch the bottle again. “Maybe you can write some, too?” he then wants to know and Suguru immediately nods.

“Of course. This is not just something you have to do. It’s our lives you’re recording here, I damn well should participate in that.”

“Promise me, Suguru,” Satoru says and looks up at him, even as he reaches out to tangle his fingers together with Suguru’s. “Promise me we’ll still be doing this when we’re old and grey.”

“We will,” Suguru immediately replies and pushes a hand through Satoru’s hair. “I promise.”

Satoru doesn’t say anything to that, but he nods and then leans up to brush a careful kiss to the corner of Suguru’s mouth.

Suguru guesses with this he also has his answer if this is just about friendship for Satoru, too, and so he pulls him in for a real kiss.

“You and me, Satoru,” Suguru says when they part and Satoru nods, the beginnings of a blinding smile on his face.

“You and me,” he agrees and it seems he trusts those words now.

Suguru promises then and there that he’ll give Satoru a huge, fat “I told you so” when they are old and grey and wrinkly and on their deathbed and until then, he’ll love Satoru so well that there can never be any doubt about it.

And on the next mission, he’s going to pick out the souvenir for them, so they can turn this into something happy.

[gaycrittercentral]

So have you thought about the max and Sam vices meeting yet?

Welp, I don’t think it’d be a good thing, that’s for sure! (hi I'm home now and I've been having a lot of fun thinking about this teehee)

I know one thing, if sinful Sam and blissed Max met it’d be really funny and also awful lmao. Like y’all know how bliss Max is, he’d be all maddeningly cheerful and pleasant and sinful Sam would fucking hate that and probably throw him into a wall within seconds of meeting him (*extremely calm, happy-sounding “whee!”*) honestly they make me hope that this is a situation where their normal, non-separated partners are there to prevent a fight and help them out in general, because if not, somebody’s definitely gonna get hurt. Actually it’s more interesting if Hugh Bliss yeeted all the vices out of Max and the virtues out of Sam at the same time just to make things hard for them (and it would also leave the world Blissified for waaaay longer because none of them are going to cooperate easily).

Now let’s see, who makes for interesting interactions…

Temperance and Gluttony would have a pretty short-lived little encounter lmao. Temperance gets about five seconds to approach and be like “Now, Max, you know having that much sugar and carbohydrates at once isn’t good for you—here, I found this healthy snack in aisle 2 that’s much more filling!” And Gluttony’s like “ohhhh you do look like a good snack! Thanks for the offer!” And instantly eats him lmao. Hopefully somebody holding the gastrokinesis talisman gets swallowed later and rescues him hfkdhsjh

Speaking of Temperance, he might be the only one to actually try to put himself and Max back together. Blissed Max and sin Sam both feel kind of free without the missing aspects of their personalities, even though they’d miss them if they had all their wits intact, and all the other virtues and vices are too caught up in doing the extreme of their own thing to worry about coming back together. But extremes are not Temperance’s thing, and it’s freaking him out to be split apart like this, so he’d be all for reuniting everyone. He’d probably try to recruit some of the others to help out, maybe by asking Patience for advice or getting bliss Max on board because he’s just willing to go with the flow no matter what. I’m sure some of the others would also help, like Kindness (to a degree, at least—he doesn’t want to get reunited with the others because he insists he’s got more good works to do) or Charity (who’s very useful if you want him to deliver items or people to various places, you just tell him it’s a gift for someone lmao) and maybe even some of Max’s vices, although most of them seem to just want to do their own thing. I feel like Lust and Greed could be persuaded into going along with the plan if they were promised kisses or riches.

I would feel extremely bad for Sloth if he had to interact with Diligence. That guy sucks. It might be sort of an unstoppable force versus immovable object situation though lmao, he’s like “get up right now we have work to do!! You cannot just lie around all day!!!!” “Sure, whatever. Just gimme five more minutes…” As for why Diligence even wants Sloth to get up and help him, it’s less that he values Sloth’s help and more that he can’t stand seeing people rest for any amount of time eugh. Extreme wet blanket (maybe he springs from the horrible ‘constant productivity’ mentality that capitalism has foisted upon us all, although luckily Sam doesn’t usually seem to struggle with that).

And LMAO I’d love to see Wrath and Patience interact, especially since I established Patience as being inexplicably indestructible. Definitely another unstoppable/immovable situation. Wrath might not care about him initially because he’s sitting still and not very interesting, but the second Patience decides to spout some infuriatingly calm, know-it-all wisdom, he’s made himself a target. Maybe Wrath spends like 20 minutes shooting at him and screaming with no reaction from Patience before he resorts to physical violence instead and just goes to town biting and beating the hell out of him. If he’s really unlucky and gets close enough, Patience might decide to subdue him with a hug, and then he’s just screaming his head off and gnawing on Patience’s arms until he can finally squirm back out. Not sure whether he would just keep trying to kill him because of the challenge or get frustrated and leave to assault somebody a little less bulletproof, but it’d be funny anyhow!

Another interesting one with Wrath would be Kindness, who would probably assume he was having a bad time and try to help him calm down at first, only to of course be shot at immediately. I don’t think the rest of the virtues are bulletproof—that’s just a weird Patience thing—so of course he has to back off, but he might instead try to bring Wrath things to shoot at other than civilians. You know, white collar criminals, unsavory politicians, neonazis, that kind of thing. It’s the same kind of help Kindness always provides; that is to say, it’s technically helpful and kind, at least to someone, but probably morally questionable at the same time. Except for the neonazis. He is objectively correct for that one.

As for the rest of them, obviously there’s no canon versions of Max’s other vices, but I’m sure y’all have seen pikaflute's and lizardtheartist’s excellent interpretations of them! I’m not about to recreate all the same concepts when there’s already such good versions of them out there, so here’s hoping it’s alright with them if I borrow from their ideas just a tad and theorize about what a crossover of all these colorful little guys would look like. (And obviously, @pikaflute and @lizardtheartist, if that’s not cool with y’all just say the word and it’s gone sjfkdlshjklsh. I'm mostly gonna talk abt my guys anyway bc I don't want to step on y'all's toes)

First off, I’m concerned for Envy. I love pikaflute’s idea of him clinging to Sam’s back, but what if this is a world where Hugh Bliss simultaneously ripped out Max’s vices and Sam’s virtues, leaving no whole version of either of them? Then Envy would either have to stick to sin Sam, which I do not recommend at all because his anger management is at an all time low, or he’d have to find a virtue to hang on to. If he gets his pick, I’d recommend Kindness because obviously he’s the most pleasant of them, but Patience also wouldn’t be a bad pick (until Wrath shows up and tries to Thunderdome his ass, of course). I would LOVE to see either of those interactions, tbh. Kindness would be going crazy trying to help him out however he could but not knowing how ;-; oop but I just revisited their concept and saw that Sam showing him kindness is what helps him out so actually that might be a really good match! Idk I’m just a big sucker for the mushy things and Envy’s concept makes me want to squish him like a plushie hfkdhsjhd. Brb I’m gonna go squish my face in my Max plushie instead

Greed and Charity would also be really funny because I feel like they could go in two totally different directions. Like for one thing, Charity could be trying and failing to get Greed to give up his hoard, which would very much sound like a little old grandmother fussing at a fucking dragon. Or on the other hand, since Charity really just wants to give people things and doesn’t seem to mind what they do with them, maybe he just keeps bringing Greed more stuff to throw on the pile lmaoooo. Like as you’re walking around more and more things keep going missing from around the neighborhood and the office is just FULL of all the shit Charity keeps dragging in because “wow he really likes my gifts! That’s awful nice :)” I’m partial to that version if I’m being honest lol

I’m gonna be so real though my favorites are Kindness and Lust and I’m having such a good time thinking of what their interactions with each other’s groups would look like hdjdhjdhd. Kindness is delighted to have multiple of his favorite little guy running around and tries to do something nice for all of them, although the stuff he does may not be nice for bystanders, like catching various criminals just so Wrath can have somebody to shoot at lmao. Maybe he makes Gluttony a nice meal, the effort of which is instantly put to waste when Gluttony swallows it whole and then tries to eat Kindness too. He might bring Greed a nice gift for his hoard or give Sloth a pillow and blanket hehee. But he also has a seventh of his usual brain cells so he keeps getting distracted and running off to help the next Max midway through all of them.

I’d also love to see Kindness interact with lizardtheartist’s version of Pride bc like he’s planning to conquer the world, right? Kindness would be insanely easy to manipulate into helping him with that. He’s just like “oh sure! Anything for my little buddy ^^” and zips off to do whatever fucked up thing Pride asked because sure, he wants to do good deeds and help people but mostly he wants to be kind to every version of his best friend, and that means every single Max vice has total power over him fjdkslgjkslfh. The only thing that would stop him from diligently (lol wrong one) carrying out Pride’s every order is getting distracted by other good deeds to do, especially for the other vices or bliss Max.

Obviously Lust is gonna be thrilled to have more than one Sam around even if some of them aren’t down to do the horizontal tango with him. He’s just like “oh my GOD a million Sams! This is my greatest fantasy!!” A couple of them just turn down his affections immediately, like Diligence bc he’s a dumb workaholic stick in the mud. Or Patience because “there’ll be time later, little buddy.” Humility hides from him because he doesn’t feel worthy of any version of Max. But luckily Lust isn’t completely out of luck—Charity, for example, is happy to give just about anything away, definitely including kisses. Temperance is the embodiment of that DK meme that’s like “you may hit it…ONCE” fjkzjshdjszg. And Kindness is happy to do whatever Lust asks because he LOVES being able to do something nice for someone who actually wants what he’s giving them, but also he’s not great in bed bc he only knows how to give and doesn’t want anything for himself ghhdgsjsg.

And lastly, of course it’d be hysterical to see Lust and Chastity interact. I feel like chastity itself is the act of repressing oneself, but not truly ridding oneself of sexual desire, so you know Chastity still wants some. He absolutely starts sweating buckets the second Lust shows up lmaooo, like he wants Max so bad it makes him not only look stupid, but also feel stupid and ashamed. He is trying so hard to deny it but it’s really fuckin difficult when Lust won’t stop flirting with him. And I feel like Lust can smell that on him the way animals (and probably Max) smell fear, so he’s just poking and prodding and flirting and inching closer until Chastity is genuinely tomato-colored instead of pastel pink. And then I feel like they get found making out in a closet or some shit later and Chastity gets so embarrassed he just squeaks and pops out of existence hdjhdkdhdhsvsn

(also here’s a thing I just thought of now: “Hey chaste me, wanna rub my unicorn?” *Chastity makes a sound outside of the range of human hearing and passes out on the spot*)

And that’s all I got for now! Also to @ar-bi-trary and @gizmo-dgery and @planetlessmoon and pikaflute themself SCREECH thank y'all so much for your sweet tags and thanks again to skeletor for the prompts!!! I have been internally screeching and externally rolling around and kicking my feet in glee at the sight of each and every one of them, god it's so fun to share ideas about these idiotic gay animals heheheheheeee. Also I happen to have another day off tomorrow so maybe I’ll finally get around to drawing these guys then :D ok that's it byeeeee

[lipglossanon]

Coming here is so comforting I swear. Sometimes I go through the pro ship tag to see what people are doing and saying cause idk if I should consider myself pro shipper or not, cause some of the stuffs I read are definitely too dark and taboo for a lot others but at the same time I know that I do not need to label everything about myself so I'm like well I like this thing and that other thing and that's it. But it makes me kinda angry seeing people só easily and simply judge others based on what they like as if it immediately makes them a bad person, as if thoughts are harmful and dangerous like they're actions.

And I hate specifically when I myself feel uncomfortable with what I like cause I know that rationally it makes no sense but???

Have you ever felt like that? Writing and reading things that have made people mad™? And if so how do you deal with it? Most of the time I'm pretty good at just being like 🙄 but sometimes it just bothers yk

Howdy anon!! 👋

And I’m so happy my blog’s a comfort to you!😌 🥰

It’s so funny to me how different the term pro ship is now; back in my day 👵🏻 it just meant that you were pro someone else’s right to ship who and what they want. Nutjobs took that to mean you accept any and all things instead of using their brain to think just cause you accept certain things doesn’t mean you condone others 🙄 fucking idiots

Anywho, I will get fired up about that so best move on 🤣

It’s sort of this new wave online where media literacy has been tossed out the window. Honestly just any critical thinking. And people are so scared of being criticized or hated on that they’re quick to jump on what’s considered ‘the correct’ bandwagon

Like some 1984 shit where they’re off tattling to Big Brother cause you like something they find an issue with 🙄

But to answer for real, I think it bothers all of us who enjoy/write/read darker content (hell even in the dead dove community some people get crap for liking things that other find distasteful—like bitch we’re all in the same boat lmao)

I feel like I’m just all over the place anon and for that I apologize lol

Not sure if it’s much of an answer but I’m the same as you; I do tend to overlook it, let it slide off my back so to speak. I’ve also taken to blocking a lot more than I ever have before. If I see a blog sharing or spouting off about censorship of any form or fucking asinine comments like “people who like x y z should just kill themselves” then they’re blocked and off my feed for good.

It pisses me off though; I really don’t understand where this purity policing and being jerk asses to strangers online started to pick up speed. They can go back to their sad little chat rooms and bitch to each other in that echo chamber and leave the rest of us to enjoy our online experience without being hated on (but no they gotta feel like they’re in the right 😒)

Sorry to the long ramble/rant of an answer, anon. Just know you’re not the only one! And that the block button is your friend!! 💜

[imsparky2002]

Ghouls and Monsters - The Phantom

(OperJean is jammin out on his synthesizer, waiting for his counterpart to show up. Mylentasma giggles in the darkness, before swooping down, ready to spook the boy. OperJean stops playing, swearing he heard something.)

OperJean: Austin? That you, dahlin?

(Mylentasma appears before him with a ominous clap of lightning and a menacing laugh, her cloak fluttering dramatically.)

Mylentasma: Behold... THE PHANTOM OF THE THEATRE!

(OperJean yelps, as Mylentasma's face is covered in dark shadow. She's so happy she got to scare her counterpart.) 

Mylentasma: So, fellow ghost. Are you quivering in fear at my sudden appearance?

OperJean: Land sakes, dahlin’, you scared the wits outta me! Almost made me play a wrong note!

(Mylentasma lets the shadows disappear, and gives a bow, showing her true kinder, yet still theatrical self.)

Mylentasma: Apologies, dear! I do just love to give people a little scare before I say hello!

OperJean: So, Phantom of the Theatre. What's your real name? Mine's Jean.

Mylentasma: I am called Mylene. Pleasure to meet you! 

(He raises an eyebrow, they knew she looked familiar!)

OperJean: You're a ghost in your world? Why, here, you're a plant creature! A real nice girl, might I add.

Mylene: How fascinating! So there is a version of everyone? (Claps in delight) Do you have a picture? I’d like to see for myself!

(He shows her one, and she coos.) 

Mylentesma: How wonderful! A true child of Mother Nature. 

OperJean: Yeah, and she's more of a hippie, so it's odd hearing her voice sound so dramatic. Not that I'm complaning, because I'm a dramatic fella myself. And might I add, that's a wonderful outfit you have on. I've never been one for capes, but yours is magnificent!

(She smiles and gives a dramatic flourish of her cloak, pulling it close to her face, before letting go and giggling.)

Mylenetasma: I’ve always had a love for garb of elegance and mystery. My Angel of Music just adores it! And I must say, you seem to have similar taste. That piano belt is just darling!

OperJean: Aw shucks. This ol’ thing? Well you know I gotta show off my musical talents, even in what I wear. You play some sort of piano?

Mylentasma: The pipe organ to be precise. You played such lovely tunes on your synthesizer.

OperJean: Well, thanks! It was just a little piece I wrote up for my Angel with a scythe, Austin! (Blushes)

Mylentasma: Ooh! An Angel of music and death! 

OperJean: Yep! I assume your Ivan is the angel you speak of? And he ain't a Yeti, is he?

Mylentasma: Why, no! He’s a human, though he may as well be sent from heaven. He’s gentle and kind, and so poetic! 

OperJean: (Chuckles) Kinda funny to think of him spouting poetry. (Deepens his voice and puts on a Russian accent)  Rose red, violet blue, watch out for avalanche. Ok I go now.

Mylentasma: (Giggles) That’s how he speaks? 

OperJean: We’ll, he grew up n’tha mountains, talkin’ a lot wastes oxygen.

Mylentasma: Ah, well that explains everything. 

OperJean: Well, I'm assuming you're as nice as my Mylene, so what do you do to help people as a phantom?

Mylentasma: Well, I’m there to give confidence to people who need it, keep the sets and backstage running smoothly, help with remembering lines, and every once in a while, teach a lesson to someone who gets a little too big for their boots. (Giggles)

OperJean: Lemme guess, you make 'em bark like a dog? 

Mylentasma: One of my favorite methods. I also spook kids by appearing in the mirror, or laugh from the shadows.

OperJean: Can’t say I do the same. Monsters don’t really…scare people in world. It wouldn’t really…help our situation.

Mylentasma: Ah, that makes sense. So how do you use your powers for good, my dear?

OperJean: Kinda like a bard, honestly. My songs cheer people up. I’m a great actor too, not to toot my own horn!

Mylentasma: I happen to be a thespian myself! My darling daddy taught me everything I know.

OperJean: Say, would ya like to join me in a show? We could be a duo. It would be totally tubular!

Mylentasma: That sounds delightful! I think our styles of music and theatrics could blend quite nicely!

OperJean: Alright! This is gonna be the bee's knees!

And there’s the first Monstrous/Ghoul Squad crossover! Thank you so much to Weeby for helping with the dialogue, and next up is the Werewolves in Ghoul Squad Alix and Monstrous Kim! As always, make sure to reply, reblog, post and ask. @artzychic27 @msweebyness 

[foxe]

Matt Murdock: Fake Boyfriend

Just a lil thing to get my Matty brain moving again. Did it as a Matt x OC, just because it's easier to spout out. Hope you enjoy! Check it out on AO3 as well!

--

Mal is just out for a drink to de-stress and Matt pretends to be her boyfriend when an ass starts making moves on her at the bar.

~ 1.2k words

Mal was out alone at a bar for the first time in a while. It was nice to get herself out of her apartment for more than a grocery run now that she worked mostly out of her apartment and fire escape. The place was busy but the ambient noise was soothing, in a way. It drowned out her thoughts, which was ideal nowadays.

She was finishing her third drink, pondering whether she should have chosen a club or not. Then came the dreaded question:

“Can I buy you a drink?”

The phrase came from a golden-haired man standing a few feet to the right, leaning against the bar. Her fingers tapped the rim of her empty glass, unable to think of a valid excuse.

“I um… I’m waiting for someone,” she said, trying to passively dissuade the man but he didn’t budge. Instead he came closer, as if her reluctance were some challenge to overcome.

“I don’t see them, do you?” He asked, leaning over her chair. She leaned away subtly, trying to refrain from touching him. “Come on, let me buy you a drink and convince you whoever is coming isn’t worth it,” he said, reaching to put a hand on her shoulder and holding tight. She tried to pull away but he had a strong arm. His grip hurt her, but she tried to get up out of her chair all the same.

“They’re running late, just- can you please-” She was trying to pry the man's hand off her shoulder when another man joined the fray, grabbing the other man’s hand in a way that pressured him very quickly to let go.. She noted his dark hair and the red-tinted glasses over his eyes while he readjusted his suit jacket and put a hand on the back of her chair.

“Sorry honey, work ran late,” he said, turning his attention to the other who was clearly in her space. “Is there a… problem here?”

“No, no,” the golden-haired man backed off a few paces and put his hands up. “Sorry, I was just trying to keep a lonely girl company, you know what I mean?” He tried to joke, but her rescuer didn’t seem to find it funny.

“My boyfriend will keep me company,” She said, happily latching onto the other man’s help.

“Look, I don’t want any trouble. Lemme buy you that drink to make it up to you, and I’ll be out of your hair,” he offered.

“I’ll buy my girlfriend’s drinks myself, thanks,” The other man said coolly, taking it upon himself to drape his jacket on the seat next to her and sit. The golden-haired man seemed to take this dismissal and awkwardly walked away.

“I… thank you,” Mal breathed out with a little relief, shaking her head.

“Not a problem. Brett’s been around her a few times, causing problems with other customers… I’m just glad I got a chance to help.”

“More than help,” she said while subtly stretching her shoulder out, still throbbing from the strength of the asshole’s grip. “Honestly, you saved me from sleeping with an idiot to shut him up so, I owe you one,” she chuckled, shaking her head. “I’m Mal,” she said, leaning a little toward him to shake his hand but quickly came to realize he had a cane and glasses that clearly indicated to her he couldn't see that. She chuckled at her own actions and sighed. “And I totally just tried to ask for an unspoken handshake from someone who is blind.”

The man laughed, saying, “Don’t worry, it happens all the time,” and extended his own hand. She shook it with humility. “I’m Matt,” he said with a small smile on his face. “Nice to be your boyfriend, Mal,” he teased and she chuckled, a soft heat coming into her cheeks. This Matt guy was suave, to say the least.

“You’re already better than 90% of the ones I’ve had,” Mal confessed with a soft laugh and a shrug. “I’m not great under pressure, so I’m lucky you came to my rescue.”

“I’m available for weddings and bat mitzvahs as well,” he joked and she shook her head with a smile.

“Don’t kid around about that, or I’ll have to take you up on it for my cousin’s wedding,” she joked back. Or, really half-joked. She desperately wanted to avoid awkward family interactions as much as possible, and it would be much easier with a companion. That being said, she just met this man five minutes ago.

“Is it an open bar at least?” Matt asked, and Mal laughed.

“My Aunt and Uncle are cheap. It’ll be cash, so I'm planning on bringing a bottle of Riesling and hoping for the best.”

“Ah, those people are the worst,” Matt said in jest, a soft smile on his face. “Worse than the people who try to shake a blind man’s hand,” he continued, to which she scoffed and laughed, going a bit more red. She was glad he wouldn’t notice (she thought), and stirred the remnants of her ice in her empty drink.

“Yeah, you got that right,” she replied while signaling down the bartender. “Hey, you helped me out so will you let me buy you a drink?”

Matt chuckled with a coy smile. “How about I get this one and you get round two?” he asked, and you raised an eyebrow.

“Presuming we’ll get to a second already?” Mal said, twirling a ringlet of hair around her finger. “Mighty bold of you Matt, but I won’t turn down a free round.”

“Nor will I,” Matt replied as the bartender came over. “Besides, it’s good for the pain,” he added, gesturing to her shoulder before placing their next order.

“How did you know he was holding me like that?” Mal asked with curiosity, her brain slightly abuzz and unable to understand it. “You’re blind, but… you knew that guy had his hand on my shoulder.”

“Brett’s very predictable,” he said with a shrug, turning his attention to the man who had found his way to a trio of women down the bar, all clearly uninterested in his persistent advances. It wasn’t very long before the bouncer had a hand on his shoulder, escorting him outside. “Doesn’t matter much now. I’m glad he’s out of your hair,” he said and she chuckled.

“What a menace,” she mused, turning to accept the new round of drinks that had been dropped off, sipping hers immediately.

“Who, the guy who hits on girls with reckless abandon or the one who pretended to be your boyfriend to buy you a drink?” He asked, which surprised her a little.

“Well… when you put it that way,” Mal smirked, raising her glass while gently guiding the one in his hand up to hers. She clinked them together and took a long sip. “Definitely the second guy,” she teased, making him smile in return.

“Is it working at least?” he asked, a devilish grin on his face. Mal was sucked in by this man for sure, and curiosity would long get the better of her.

With a coy grin, she shrugged, taking another quick sip of her drink. “I’ll tell you after that second drink.”

[fictionfixations]

Slytherins & Prejudice (Tangent/Rant)

I’m gonna be honest here. I think Slytherins tend to be misunderstood. Well technically we see the more ‘darker’ side in the books, and that’s partly because Harry ended up as a Gryffindor instead, so we never really got to fully see what it was like.

Maybe I’ve just been reading too much fanfiction, but I think we’ve all been there once or twice. I recall when first reading the books that I didn’t really like Slytherin. Of course, this was due to Draco Malfoy’s entrance, and the prejudice against the actual house.

Funny thing, I actually took the house quiz back then on the website and got Slytherin. I couldn’t believe it, how could I be a part of the evil house? Wouldn’t I be better in Ravenclaw? The second time I took it, I became a Ravenclaw, but that isn’t the point. It isn’t, because the cast only get sorted once, and that meant that technically only my first one counted. Slytherin.

I’d imagine you probably know it by now as we’ve all grown. Slytherins are ambitious people, with big dreams and the desire to pursue it. Not necessarily a bad thing. For me, my interests lie in a thirst of knowledge, and trying to be the best. Well that’s kind of weak, but what do you expect of a kid?

But the point is, technically, all houses have bad counterparts to them. Bravery can just as easily be dumb recklessness. Loyalty can just as easily be blind devotion. Ambition can lead to greed. Intelligence can lead to arrogance.

Honestly this is the kind of thing you learn when you grow up. That you realize that they’re just kids, and probably repeating what their parents told them (god knows I have), and wouldn’t know right from wrong. It doesn’t help either that they kind of become seen as ‘antagonists’ (is it wrong that I can see Ron being angry at Harry for either being sorted or almost sorted into Slytherin? If I recall correctly, he was also angry at Harry for ‘joining’ the TriWizard Tournament thing despite how Harry kept trying to tell him that he didn’t even want to. You see my point?).

Now, I can’t actually remember that time they were polyjuiced and went into the Slytherin dormitory, but I’m gonna be honest here. Fanfiction. I can’t even say that some of them don’t bring up good points about Slytherins being prejudiced against for their parents actions, or just because they’re in that house that people jump to conclusions and hate them regardless of what they try to do. Literally there are so many moments in the actual book series of the students hating on Harry and jumping to conclusions (wasn’t there the Parselmouth thing where they accused him of setting the snake onto this one guy- not to mention I’m pretty sure they thought he might’ve been the heir of Slytherin, even if he wasn’t in the actual house itself). I think that speaks enough of how the students think of him, and it’d likely only be worse for Slytherins.

Not that some of it isn’t deserved, but okay, look at Andromeda Tonks. She was a Slytherin, and technically was disowned due to marrying a muggle-born. And maybe that doesn’t exactly prove my point, but hey, Merlin’s apparently a Slytherin too. There can be good ones, the house doesn’t just provide Death Eaters and whatnot!

My point is.. Slytherins aren’t all that bad and I kinda think they deserved better, but what can you do when a Dark Lord who comes from Slytherin spouts blood-purist shit and was so infamous that everyone knew who he was, and seemed to mainly only attract other Slytherins to serve him??

Anyway, I’m kind of biased, I have a love for Slytherin Harry, blah blah blah. Also fuck J.K. Rowling (because someone will probably read this and think I support her just because I like her books, haha she’s never gotten my money, I read from school libraries.), we don’t support her in this household, I just like reading the fanfiction.

[robinrites]

Clueless in New York

Whumptober Day 10!

Prompts: Poor Unfortunate Souls, Waterboarding, Tasers

Summary: Reimagining of TUA 1x04 :)

Tw: Torture, general whump

“Y’know you guys could really use some work on your bedside manner.” Klaus sputters out as he bends over in his seat.

Hazel and Cha Cha both glare at him for this, unamused. If Klaus had to guess, he’d say it’s been maybe eight hours since he was picked up by those two and dragged to some hotel in god-knows-where. They’re determined, Klaus’ll give them that. Unfortunately for all of them, they managed to snag the one person who has no clue what is going on with his family, or more importantly his brother. 

“Maybe we’d be in a better mood if you’d quit stalling and start giving us some answers, ever thought of that?” Cha Cha sneers, leaning closer to Klaus. When Klaus laughs in response, she pulls back. “What’s so funny?” 

“It’s just,” He cuts himself off with his own laughter, “You’ve been at this for hours and you still haven’t figured it out?” 

Hazel steps closer, suddenly interested in what Klaus has to say. “Figured what out?” 

“You assholes got the wrong guy!” Klaus laughs some more before struggling to catch his own breath, his laughter dissolves into coughing. “You claim to be time traveling assassins and yet you can’t even manage to grab anyone who might actually have information for you. I mean how stupid can you be-” 

Cha Cha swiftly slaps him across the face, then turns to the beds. She digs through one of the suitcases, before pulling out a small black taser, then she smiles. “Don’t let the size of this guy fool you. Like you said, we’re ‘time traveling assassins’ which means we’ve had time to fine tune our tools of the trade.” She presses a button and the taser begins to click, blue sparks shooting out the end. 

“Let’s not be too hasty-” Klaus is cut off as the taser is put against his neck then turned on.

Thousands of volts of electricity course through his body. He bites back a scream, at least he thinks he does. A cloth is shoved into his mouth, which tells him he probably didn’t hold it in like he’d hoped. Finally Cha Cha relents, and the gag is pulled out of his mouth again. Klaus gasps for air as his bones ache from the electricity. He catches his breath after a few moments, then looks back up at Hazel and Cha Cha who are glaring at him expectantly. 

“Feel like sharing now?” Hazel asks. 

Klaus takes a few more staggering breaths before opening his mouth. “It all started when I was a child-” The taser is pressed to his side and turned on again. This time Cha Cha lets it go for a longer time. When it stops again, Klaus catches his breath and tries to start again. “My mom wasn’t around much and my dad was a total piece of shit-” 

Cha Cha turns up the power on the taser and continues to lay into Klaus with it. “Listen here you little shit, I don’t care what the hell your dad did to you. I am asking you about Five, so when I turn this thing off, we’re gonna talk about him, got it?” Klaus nods numbly, trying his best to focus on anything but the electricity coursing through his body. 

Eventually she turns it back off again, then looks at Klaus. “Look, I honestly don’t know what Five is doing back here.” Klaus sobs, the pain of being shocked finally getting the better of him. “He showed up a couple days ago and was spouting some nonsense about the apocalypse before running off to do something.” Cha Cha raises the taser again and Klaus shakes his head quickly. “I swear! That’s all I know! He had me go with him to some prosthetic factory a couple days ago but he didn’t tell me what we were doing there. He had an eyeball in his pocket though, which I thought was weird, but hey we’re all weird in our own ways I guess. It sounded like he just wanted to return the eyeball and he paid me to come with him so I went.” 

“Is he really….?” Hazel trails off looking at Cha Cha who seems to understand and finish the thought for him. 

Klaus shakes his head again, “I’m telling the truth I swear!” Hazel whips out his gun and hits Klaus with the butt of it, knocking him out. 

“That little shit really is trying to stop the apocalypse.” Cha Cha says in disbelief. “Can’t believe he would be that stupid.” She spins around and begins to pack up her things, gesturing for Hazel to follow suit. As the pair begins to head for the door, Hazel glances back at Klaus, gesturing with his head at the man. 

“What are we gonna do about him?” Hazel asks, stopping Cha Cha in her tracks. 

She curses under her breath before turning to look at Klaus. “Let’s just gag him and shove him in the closet for now, we can dispose of him when we get back. Or if our lead turns out to be a dead end, I’m sure he’ll have more information for us once we’ve given him time to think. I’ll meet you in the car, just make sure you put the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door okay? Can’t have people asking questions. Got it?” 

Hazel nods, then sets down his suitcase so he can do what Cha Cha told him to. He quickly places a piece of duct tape over Klaus’s mouth, then double checks the bindings. Hazel adds an additional layer of duct tape around his wrists and ankles before dragging the chair Klaus is in into the closet. Satisfied, Hazel grabs his suitcase and heads out the door, turning off the lights as he does so. He meets Cha Cha at their car, where he gets into the passenger seat. She looks at him, raising an eyebrow, her way of asking if he did what he was told. He nods, then she turns on the car and pulls out of the parking lot, heading towards the prosthetics factory. 

Klaus hears the door to the room open and can instantly tell Hazel and Cha Cha are both mad. The door slams shut, followed by the closet door swinging open. Klaus nervously looks at Hazel as he is dragged out of the closet, back into the center of the room. Cha Cha’s face is nearly red with anger as she glares at Klaus. She storms over to his chair and cuts the bonds free, then drags him by his hair to the bathroom where she begins to fill up the bathtub with water. The duct tape is ripped off from over his mouth, and he takes in a deep breath of air. 

“Something wrong?” He nervously asks, despite knowing damn well that something is definitely wrong. 

“It was a dead end, you little shit.” She spits out, “Couldn’t find any trace of Five in their systems, or in the security footage. But hey, at least we got to blow a lab up right Hazel?” Even though he can’t see Hazel, Klaus can still feel him nod.

“We also left a note for your brother.” Hazel informs Klaus, as he grabs his wrists and binds them behind his back. “Told him that we had you and if he didn’t turn himself in there’d be hell to pay.” 

Klaus can’t stop himself from laughing, “You guys really don’t know Five then, do you?” Hazel and Cha Cha don’t answer this. “He may have vanished into the future for fifty years, or whatever, but he’s still the same cocky guy I knew growing up. He’s also not an idiot and I’d say there’s no chance he’s turning himself in for me.” Cha Cha turns off the water, returning Klaus’ attention to the bathtub he’s kneeling in front of. 

“Let’s see if you’re still saying that after a little waterboarding, hm?” Cha Cha laughs, followed by Hazel grabbing onto Klaus’ arms tightly. 

She holds onto Klaus by his hair before pushing his head down underwater before he has a chance to hold his breath. To his credit, he does manage to make it a minute before he runs out of air and tries to push back against Cha Cha’s iron grip. Seconds before he blacks out, his head is yanked back above water. He coughs up water from his lungs, gagging slightly. Klaus takes shaky inhales trying to catch his breath, unable to before Cha Cha quickly shoves him back underwater to repeat the process. 

When she pulls him up a second time, she leans closer, her hand still tightly wrapped in his hair. “How about you share some more about Five?” 

“I already told you!” Klaus says in between gasping for air and coughing up water from his lungs. “He disappeared when we were kids and only recently came back! Hell I’m not even sure why he still looks like he’s 12.” 

“I’m sorry, say that again?” Hazel says, slightly loosening his grip on Klaus’ arms. 

“I said ‘he disappeared when we were kids’.” Cha Cha smacks the back of his head for this. 

“Not that part idiot, the part about him looking younger.” Cha Cha can’t help but groan and wonder how she ended up interrogating the dumbest person on the planet. 

“Well, me and my siblings were all born on the same day y’know?” Klaus asks, nervously hoping he won’t give away anything important. “So we’re all the same age, but when Five came back, well he still looks like he did when we were kids.” Cha Cha releases his hair, and Klaus allows his head to rest on the edge of the bathtub. 

“So we’ve been looking for an old man, but we should’ve been looking for a kid this whole time?” Hazel asks redundantly. “Fuck me.” 

Cha Cha stands up, “You stay here and watch him, I’m going to go rewatch the security footage and talk to some people.” She starts to walk out of the room before pausing, “Don’t let him out of your sight, understand?” Hazel nods, allowing Cha Cha to leave. “Can’t believe that fucker’s in disguise.” She mutters under her breath as she heads for the car, “I don’t get paid enough for this shit.”

[bucky-munson]

What's Hidden in the Shadows | 4

Summary: Bullies are everywhere. They manifest as a group of jocks at school who think you're fat and want to make sure you know. Sometimes they even manifest as your own father. But can they manifest as the love of your life? No probably not.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Words: 1.4k

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Plus Sized!GN!Reader ; Steve Harrington X Plus Sized!GN!Reader

Warnings: descriptions of an anxiety attack, Bullying, abuse, swearing.

a.n: Cat's out of the bag with this one I think, but can someone just kiss y/n and tell them to calm down pls.. A bit Steve heavy but regularly scheduled programming next part ^^ (honestly I was so torn about who to make the other guy but I think I like Steve and Y/N, please don't be too disappointed ;; I've got an Eddie planned for later)

Taglist: @harringtonfan4 @jubilee40 @cevans-winchester

Weekends offered a welcome reprieve from the paranoia of looking over your shoulder everyday at school, but in a small town like Hawkins, you still had to be careful. There were places you deemed “off limits” and avoided like the plague; knowing that it made you an easy target simply by existing in them. So when word spreads that Billy has become a lifeguard at the Hawkins Community Pool, you mentally pat yourself on the back for already avoiding it, even at the cost of a day of fun with a couple of your friends. 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come with us?” Nancy pouts, trying her hardest to make you feel included, but with a simple shake of your head she concedes. You assure them multiple times that you don’t mind hanging out alone at the mall, but ever the self-sacrificer, Steve pledges to keep you company instead. Eventually you realize that no number of “It’s okay”s that you spout will change his mind. 

“Fine but when we’re in the music shop for 4 hours, I don’t wanna hear any complaining,” you finally sigh, ignoring his soft cheers as he waves off the others to enjoy their day at the pool. 

And that’s how you’ve found yourself, filing through the various plastic wrapped cassettes with Steve practically leaning over your shoulder. 

“I didn’t know you listened to any of these bands,” he starts, his eyebrows pinched together as he tries to decipher one of the many rock band’s logos. 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Steve, but funny enough I’m not looking for something for me, I’m looking for a thank you gift for a.. uhm.. Friend,” you reply, squinting as you try to jog your memory of the group that blasted out of the speakers of Billy’s car. The cashier had assured you that the shipment was fresh and that there were tons of new albums to pick from, so you were sure you’d find something he didn’t have yet. 

“List off some names, I might not be into them but I can help,” Steve smiles as he jumps into action, digging through the various cassettes as well.

“That’s the problem.. I don’t know any of their names..”

The sudden halt of movement beside you makes you pause for a moment, looking up to see Steve even more confused than before. 

“You’re looking for something and you don’t even know the name??”

It took about an hour of extra digging, but you clutched the Scorpions cassette tape tightly as you walked through the busy food court, smiling a bit and proud at your find. Steve had ushered you through a line to grab lunch and found a table a little ways away from everyone else to sit at, sighing in relief once he hit the hard plastic chair.

“Finally, no more standing around that dingy record shop,” he groans, stretching a bit before starting to eat the slice of food court pizza he had grabbed. If anyone had asked two weeks ago where you would be on a Saturday afternoon, eating lunch across from Steve Harrington would have been the last answer on your mind, and yet, here you both were, surrounded by the rumble of the crowd you were sharing the moment with. It seemed almost unreal and it’s then the thought creeps into the back of your mind, no louder than a whisper.

He just feels sorry for you. Do you really think he wants to be here instead of the pool? 

“So, y/n, what do you want to do after this?” Steve asks, a bright smile on his face even though his lips are pressed tightly together as he chews his pizza. It’s almost laughable that this was the former King of Hawkins High, sitting across from you, one of the biggest rejects in the school. 

How could you think any different? You think both Billy and now Steve are paying attention to you? You’re just a charity case.

“Y/n?” He repeats softly, but it’s muddled over the sounds of the people around, almost like you can suddenly hear every breath they're taking. The lights beat down on you, neon pinks and blues and there’s an unbearable heat rising across your shoulders and onto the nape of your neck. 

“I.. I can’t do this anymore,” you mutter out, standing and practically racing out the door of the food court, Steve left in utter shock before grabbing the forgotten cassette and following behind you. You can hear him calling your name, but your feet don’t stop moving until he finally reaches you, gripping your wrist firmly to keep you from running again.

“Hey what is happening? Everything okay? Did I do something?” You see the apprehension on his face, but you quickly face the ground, trying to think of anything to say but the words don’t form. 

“I… I want to go home, please,” 

“What? Why? Weren’t we having fun?” His voice is softer now and you can tell he’s being genuine but you can’t stop yourself from pulling away.

“I just want to go home, Steve! You don’t have to keep taking care of me just cause I’m alone, go to the pool with the others and let me go,” the words come out a lot harsher than you meant them to and a hush falls over you both. Steve doesn’t even bother replying, only giving you a soft nod before guiding you to his car. You begin to protest, saying that you can walk but he quickly cuts his eyes to you. 

“Like hell I’m letting you walk, get in or we both stay here,” he jerks the door open and looks at you expectantly, almost waiting for you to try and fight more but you flop down into the seat, looking up at him as he closes it behind you. You brace for the slam of the door but it never comes and he quietly gets in on his side as well. 

The drive to the trailer park is quiet, Steve never even bothering with his radio to allow you to muddle in your own thoughts. 

Give it a few days and this will all wear off.  You almost wished you could believe yourself, everything feeling too overwhelming to comprehend. Even Billy’s promise of the “one time thing” was starting to feel like it would fall flat, but could you really let that happen. He had been so vile to you since he moved to Hawkins, could you let all that go just because he was nice after he felt bad about your father? 

“Alright, we’re here,” Steve mumbles softly as he pulls into the trailer park. An apology dances on your tongue but before you can say anything he simply holds his hand out, offering you the Scorpions cassette you had abandoned on the food court table. “I wouldn’t have wanted this entire day to feel meaningless for you.”

“Steve, I-” You begin, but he simply brushes it off, waving his hand a bit. It stings more than you anticipated it would, hoping he would just let you apologize and yet you knew his pride would never. You rest your hand on his arm for a moment, squeezing gently before climbing out of the car, shutting the door behind you and turning to head towards the trailer you called home. Giving one last look back as you open the front door, you wholeheartedly expect him to be gone, but he’s still there and gives a gentle nod before finally backing out. 

You allow yourself time to lay on your worn mattress, one hand holding the cassette as the other rubs the fabric of the comforter. Was this idea stupid? Absolutely, but there was no going back now that you had the main piece. Holding it above your head, you examine it for a bit before finally pulling the plastic off and opening it. There’s a soft creak from your bed as you sit up, digging into the drawer of the table beside it, searching for the last true gift your father had ever given you. Placing the cassette inside, you turn on the walkman and put on the discolored headphones, the familiar guitar playing out softly. You let it play to completion before quickly grabbing a notebook and tearing out a small scrap. The pen scribbles a quick note in blue and you fold it up, replacing the cassette inside the plastic container over it. A soft sigh escapes and suddenly you almost can’t wait for Monday. 

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS VANDEAD CARNIVAL SKiT Dolce＆Rejet shop Tokuten Drama CD “Mission Impossible? ~Big Teddy on the Loose!~”

Original title: ミッションインポッシブル？ ～脱出セヨ! ビッグテディ～」

Source: DIABOLIK LOVERS VANDEAD CARNIVAL SKiT Dolce＆Rejet shop Tokuten Drama CD “Mission Impossible? ~Big Teddy on the Loose!~” [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Katsuyuki Konishi, Kaji Yuki & Takahiro Sakurai

Translator’s note: Rejet wrote this scenario after watching the first season of SNK and you can’t convince me otherwiseーー I found the whole ‘big Teddy’ thing quite funny in Kanato’s route, but I’m not sure where they got the whole ‘he will go around and eat Vampires’ thing from. xD Although the mental image of Reiji, Kanato and Ruki just chilling inside a stuffed animal’s stomach was pretty funny. Still, not my favorite tokuten CD out there, but there’s so many of them, so it only makes sense they would run out of ideas at some point. :p

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Reiji: Good grief...It appears the Carnival is finally drawing to a close. It had me worried for a second, but for now, I shall return to my room and relax with a cup of tea. 

*THUD*

Reiji: ...Hm? What was that sound just now...? 

*THUD*

Reiji: ...!? It seems to be coming this way...!?

Kanato runs up to him in a hurry.

Kanato: Haah...Haah...Reiji, is that you!? 

Reiji: Kanato...? You seem to be in a rush, did something happen? 

Kanato: Isn’t that obvious!? Teddy grew big and has gone rampant! Uu...My Teddy...

Reiji: Teddy grew big and has gone rampant...? Haah...What nonsense are you spouting? While this may be the Demon World, you would be gravely mistaken if you truly believe such strange phenomena would be taking place. 

Good grief...With Teddy always being the only thing on your mind, it is only natural you would start having such ridiculous dreams. 

Ruki also runs up to them.

Ruki: Haah...Haah...You guys...You’re the Sakamaki’s...

Reiji: Oh? Well, if it isn’t Ruki. This is new. What has gotten into you? Please, pull yourself together.

Kanato: How are we supposed to stay calm!? 

*THUD*

Ruki: It’s here...!

Reiji: It’s here...?

Kanato: Ah...Teddy...Why...? Why would you do this!? 

Ruki: Either way, there is no time to explain the situation. If you want to run, you better make haste. 

Reiji: Run...? And what exactly should I run away from?

Ruki starts running away.

Reiji: ...!? Excuse me!? Are you just going to ignore my question...!? 

Ruki: Just turn around if you want to know that badly!

Reiji: Around? What could there be behind mーー 

*THUD*

Reiji: Wha...!? 

*THUD*

Reiji: T-That is...Teddy!? It’s Kanato’s stuffed animal! An unbelievably large version of it!

Kanato: Didn’t I tell you earlier...!? 

Ruki: Just give up on him! He can no longer be saved! 

The big Teddy picks up Reiji.

*Rustle*

Reiji: ...Cut it out! You’re just a mere Familiar! What makes you believe you have the right toーー Aaah!

Teddy eats Reiji.

Kanato: Teddy...!! I can’t believe it...Why would you eat the guy who seems most likely to taste horrible first!? 

Ruki: Hmph...So he was devoured? To have to meet one’s end by being eaten by that ridiculous bear...I pity him. 

*THUD*

Ruki: More importantly, we have to get away from here as soon as possible!

*Woosh* 

Ruki: What...!? 

Kanato: Eek...!

Teddy picks both of them up.

Kanato: ...Teddy! Let me go!

Ruki: Kuh...Is this it? 

Teddy eats both of them as well.

Kanato & Ruki: Ow...!

*Rustle* 

Reiji: Ugh...First I get eaten by this nonsensical creature and what now...!? ーー Wait. You two...I see. I suppose the two of you fell prey to this enormous bear as well. 

Ruki: Hmph!

Kanato: Aaah...Why...What did I do to deserve this? 

Reiji: Why, you ask? That is what I would like to ask you, Kanato. While its size might be many times larger than usual, it is obviously your Teddy. Now, explain everything to me. How did this happen? 

Kanato: Uu...I don’t know!! During the Carnival, I suddenly noticed that Teddy has disappeared and the next thing I knew, he had become this size! It isn’t my fault!!

Reiji: If it isn’t your fault, then who exactly has caused this? 

Ruki: Why don’t you calm down for a bit?

Kanato: I can’t calm down right now!!

Reiji: Hah!  I honestly do not understand how you can be so composed when you’ve been trapped inside a stuffed bear’s stomach. 

Ruki: I wouldn’t exactly say I’m composed, but it won’t change anything about the situation at hand. I doubt freaking out will benefit us in any way. More importantly, we should think of a way to get out of here. 

Reiji: That is true, however...To not bat a single eye in a situation as absurd as this one...Mukami Ruki, you are a man not to be underestimated. 

Ruki: Haah...Let’s get back to the topic at hand. ーー Oi. You’re not the one who summoned this giant bear, correct?

Kanato: ...How many times do I have to repeat myself? ...Honestly, I want to ask that question! Who had the nerve to do this!? I won’t forgive them...I can’t believe they would do this to my Teddy!

Ruki: I see. If it wasn’t him, then...

Reiji: At present, the one behind it is not the main issue. More importantly, we must come up with an escape plan. 

Ruki: From what we can tell, this bear has not opened its mouth again ever since we came falling down in here. 

Reiji: In that case, let us think of a way we can prompt him to open his mouth. 

Ruki: A way to get him to open his mouth from the inside...Hmー ...Perhaps we could try tickling his throat? 

Reiji: While it may be worth the try...Still, I’m doubtful whether or not this bear is capable of perceiving something as ticklish. 

Ruki: Well, I suppose it’s better than doing nothing. 

Reiji: Good point. Well then, first I will fly up theーー ...!? 

Ruki: Hm? Is something the matter?

Reiji: This bear...I always thought it was a type of Familiar, but it seems like reality is something far more sinister. 

Ruki: What do you mean?

Reiji: I can’t fly. It might possess a special kind of power which nullifies a Vampire’s abilities. 

Ruki: Come again!? Then, I suppose we have no other choice but to climb our way up there instead? Still...Take a look at this. These walls are extremely slipperly. 

Ruki runs his hand across the wall. 

Ruki: Climbing our way out will be quite the daunting task. 

Reiji: You do make a valid point...These walls are made out of a weirdly elastic material, so we will simply get bounced back the moment we try to place our foot on it.

Ruki: If only we could somehow call for help from outside...That being said, I doubt anyone will be able to hear us, no matter how loud we scream.

Reiji: Then what can we do...?

Kanato: Why...?

Reiji: Hm? Did you say something just now, Kanato?

Ruki: Actually, I had completely forgotten about this guy...

*Rustle* 

Kanato: ...Hey, Teddy? Why are you doing this...? I can’t believe Teddy would...That he would eat me...! ...Kuh...This monster isn’t Teddy!! It’s a fraud!! Unforgivable...!! ...TAKE THIS!!

*THUD*

Reiji: ...!? Kanato...! You can kick it all you want, you’ll just get bounced back. 

Kanato: Ugh...!! I’m nowhere near...done yet...!! Ugh...!!

*THUD THUD*

Ruki: Haah...While I can understand why you would lose your cool, I suggest you cease your actions for now and observe the situaーー

Kanato: More...!! I have to make this thing suffer more...or else this frustration won’t go away!! Haah...Haah...You monster!! Fraud!! Ughーー! 

*THUD*

Kanato: Arghーー!!

*THUD THUD*

*RUMBLE*

Ruki: What is this sound...!? 

Reiji: Kanato...! Cut it out!

*Groooowl*

*THUD*

Kanato: Wah...!!

The three of them are hurled out of the big Teddy.

*Thud*

Reiji: ...Ugh. What now!? Waitーー Huh? 

*Rustle rustle*

Ruki: Seems like we made it out somehow...

Reiji: Don’t tell me...Did it throw us back up because Kanato lost his mind and went on a kicking spree? 

Ruki: That appears to be the case...In the end, we never found out what its intentions were, but at least we’re safe for now. Take a look. It’s running away.

Kanato: Wait...!! I haven’t forgiven you yet...!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY TEDDY!? Give him back already! GIVE TEDDY BAAAAACKーー!!

Reiji suddenly jolts awake.

Reiji: ...!

*Rustle*

Reiji: Haah, haah...A dream...? Haah...Thank god. How unlike me to have such a ridiculous dream...I suppose the Carnival, as well as the fact I came back to the Demon World for the first time in quite a while must play a part in it...?

*THUD*

Reiji: ...!? What was that sound just now? Don’t tell meーー!? 

Kanato enters the room.

Kanato: Ah, Reiji...So this is where you’ve been.

Ruki: Ah, you two. You better get going soon or elseーー

Reiji: I know! I will go at once!

Reiji dashes off.

Kanato: Hm...? Fufu, I wonder what has gotten into him...? Right, Teddy? 

Ruki: He seemed to be in quite the rush...Is he so excited for the Carnival’s fireworks? What a surprise.  

*Pang*

ーー THE END ーー

[dollslayer]

Please continue the Scandal-based Steve fic, you write the best angst ever!!!!

A/N: As you wish! Thank you so much for reading, hope this is up to par 💖 (ps- if you commented on the first one I'm tagging you for this follow up, no permanent tags tho don't worry!)

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter

Warnings: pseudo-cheating, angst, alcohol consumption, swearing, love triangle, secret relationship

Part One HERE I Main Masterlist

It’s been an entire week since you walked out on Steve. He never did find the words to tell you that he wasn’t going to leave Peggy, but you never found the words to explicitly leave him, either. You were both in a game of chicken that you’d unknowingly started and neither of you had found the courage to finish it.

It was so easy when you were swept up in the moment, a storm of anger and hurt that finally came to a breaking point. But now you were past it and found yourself lost. The only thing making you feel better was seeing that Steve was having just as hard a time as you were. He wasn’t as outgoing, he was making dumb mistakes, he was off his game. You didn’t necessarily want Steve to suffer but it was reassuring in some way, to know that he felt anything for you. You just wanted this entire mess to be over.

But when the mess was over, what would you want to come of it? Do you even want to be with Steve any more? Or do you just not want him to be with Peggy? Thinking it through, what you felt for Steve was real, real enough to pull on your heartstrings and real enough to hurt. After all of the grief that Steve has caused you you’re not sure that you could properly forgive him. Maybe over time but you couldn’t see yourself trying to rebuild your relationship when the two of you had so much else to focus on.

So now you were caught in some sort of relationship purgatory because you were too afraid to end it. And he was too much of a coward to admit he’s been in the wrong this whole time. Honestly you can’t justify Steve’s actions on any level when it came down to it. His men are in the midst of war and fighting Hydra and he really thinks that a relationship is going to be their saving grace and reassurance? Bull.

On some level, no matter how deep it is, Steve saw something for her that he didn’t see in you and he felt some affection for her. Maybe saying that the relationship was just a front was his way of covering his real feelings for her. But he’d be damned if he thought he could have his cake and eat it too. You’d spent many a night cycling through this thought process and ending up right where you started.

Getting nowhere in your deliberating you decided to bury yourself in your work. You’d always felt that it was fulfilling work, you helped civilians and military alike with your work and you were damn good at it. So you plunged head-first into your codebreaking and strategy-forming and put your in-limbo relationship on the back burner.

Throwing yourself head first into work turned out to be in your best interest for the time being. The last two missions had been a success but per usual, you had gone unrecognized. That’s fine, you didn’t need to be patted on the back every time you excelled but every once in a while it would be nice. And thanks to your codebreaking, once again, you find yourself stuck in the corner of the dingy pub you had lost your mind in just a week ago. Unappreciated. Or so you thought.

You sat back thinking Steve wasn’t under Peggy’s thumb this time but he was trying his best to make the most of the moment over a pint with the rest of the commandos. And you were back in what was becoming your usual corner of the pub, sipping on a dry red wine. It was bitter on your tongue but after the week you’ve had you needed a drink, even if it meant seeing them.

“You did good back there, thank you” Bucky’s voice shook you from your thoughts. “Okay if I sit?”

You were so caught off guard by anyone really speaking to you, let alone praising you that you couldn’t find anything to say. You just stared at Bucky with wide eyes before nodding slowly. He settled into the chair next to you and took a swig from his bottle.

“You know, on the outside you don’t seem like you’re gonna be much but when you put yourself to work… it’s somethin’ else. You’re a natural.” Bucky told you.

“Um, thanks, I guess?” You brushed off the compliment to give him one of your own, “We wouldn’t be sitting here right now if it weren’t for you all. I’m just some codebreaker, you’re the one doing the leg work”

“Give yourself some credit, you deserve it.” Bucky patted you on the shoulder and for the first time in weeks you felt a spark of genuine happiness. You shyly smiled up at Bucky and took a sip of your wine.

“So, you wanna tell me what’s got Steve snappin’ his cap at everyone? You two break up?”

Your eyes rounded in surprise. You were so sure that no one had known. You were so sure Steve didn’t want anyone to so it didn’t occur to you that Bucky might’ve known.

“Did… Steve tell you? About us?”

“Didn’t have to. I ran after him to talk a few weeks ago and found you two smoochin’”

Your face heated in slight embarrassment but you nodded in understanding.

“I just… it’s not fair that he should show her off like she’s his sweetheart while I’m treated like some dirty secret. I gave him a piece of my mind and he wasn’t able to cope. But I don’t know where this leaves us. He didn’t split but there’s just no way we could go on like this.”

Bucky looked a little miffed but grunted in affirmation. He shook his head and clenched his jaw.

“I knew he and Peggy weren’t for real but what he’s been doin’ to ya ain’t right. Sorry Steve’s been such a knucklehead. My two cents, you go back to him and confront him. And if he’s too much of a punk to see what he’s got you walk.”

You shakily exhale and take another gulp before setting your palms flat against the table.

“Easier said than done, but you’re right”

“I love him, he’s my brother but forget him if he’s too much of a jerk to know what he’s got. But for now let’s just get pleasantly drunk, whaddya say?”

Rather than giving him an answer you downed the rest of your glass and put it down on the table. Bucky was looking at you with a toothy grin.

“Atta girl”

____

The evening had been as promised, you were pleasantly drunk and for the first time in weeks you were letting yourself enjoy the moment. Bucky was funny and kind to you when no one else had even batted an eye and you found yourself grateful for his company that night.

You were humming to yourself as you walked back to your room but just when you reached for the door a hand reached out for your wrist. You didn’t need to look up to know that the hand belonged to Steve. You denied yourself the comfort you found in physical contact and reminded yourself of the situation. You sighed and looked up to him expectantly.

“You and Buck? Just what the hell’s going on?” Steve demanded.

“Oh so now you want to talk to me? You only care now that you’re not my main focus?” You shot right back at him. You swayed slightly, tipsy still from the wine.

Steve’s jaw tensed and he schooled his features though you could tell he was simmering on the inside.

“No”, he said calmly, “I just wanted to know. If you’re trying to make me jealous it’s not going to work.”

“Well I wasn’t trying but apparently it is working.”

Steve’s hands balled into fists and you could see veins beginning to spout in his hands. He didn’t say anything so you continued.

“I give you an ultimatum and tell you how much you’ve hurt me and you only come back once I turn my attention to your best friend? He’s the only one that’s said a nice word to me this whole time. The rest have been caught up in the lie you’ve been spinning with Peggy!”

Your anger was getting the better of you but you were letting it. Anger got you through it the first time, it’ll get you out no matter how it ends.

“That’s not fair-”

“You’re not fair, Steve. The way you’ve been treating me, it isn’t right! I gave you a choice and you’ve been dragging your feet. I’m going to ask you one more time, Steve. Me? Or Her?”

Steve was silent again, you could tell he wasn’t thinking about what he wanted, but he was forming an answer. Deep down you knew it would come to this. He’s never going to hold your hand in public, there’s never going to be an apartment in Brooklyn, there’s never going to be an us between you. Maybe there never was.

Steve started to call your name but you shook your head and scrunched your eyes closed in a mixture of frustration and pain. Tears were welling in your eyes but you’d be damned if Steve Rogers would see a single one fall. He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve you, he never did.

“I’m sorry…” Steve offered lamely.

“No, you’re not.” Maybe that wasn’t fair of you to say, Steve did look to be in genuine emotional pain over this but right now you didn’t care. If he had felt any true remorse he wouldn’t have let himself get anywhere with Peggy in the first place.

“I really did want all of that with you, I still do. We could still have it, we just need to get through this, please.”

You shook your head and started ushering him towards the door.

“No, Steve. That’s all gone now. You had your chance but I’m worth more than how you treat me.”

You opened the door and waited for him to leave.

“I think you should go. I don’t have anything left to say to you.”

With that Steve sighed heavily but left with his head hung between his shoulders. You could’ve sworn he was crying but you didn’t care if he was. He made this happen and he didn’t treat you right. So this is what happened.

Tears finally make their way down your face but you don’t feel sad. It’s cathartic almost, like a weight lifted. You’d probably put in for a transfer with the SSR just to save the team the grief but for now you’d keep your head down, keep working. Damn Steve Rogers for not seeing in you what you saw in yourself and damn anyone else that didn’t either.

[stellocchia]

I was rewatching the stream where Tommy got locked up in prison with Dream (Tommy Gets Locked In Prison with Dream) and there are just a few quotes that I want to drop here for everyone:

"What's up Dream?" "Nothing much. I lost my clock since the last time you came" "That almost... if you take the 'L' out of that word then it's... it's a different word and that's funny..." "That's the Tommy I know!"

It's just so damn uncomfortable from the get-go. Because keep in mind that Tommy went in there with the idea of getting closure. In hindsight, not the best idea, but it's not like he knew how to deal with what he went through any better.

But no, what makes it so absurdly uncomfortable it's how Dream just effortlessly steps back into the "friend" role. Immediately trying to go back to their old banter and all. And, like, Tommy didn't fall for it entirely. He was clearly uncomfortable as soon as Dream said the last line, immediately going on the defensive again, but it doesn't change that there is a part of him that still had (and possibly still has) a tendency to fall back on that as well.

"I'm glad you came to visit me, you know? It's been a while... I- I wish you'd visit me more"

Like... rewatching it I'm fairly sure that either Dream doesn't understand that Tommy doesn't, in fact, see him as a friend or he's simply very willing to ignore that fact because he's just that desperate to have him around.

"This is my last visit Dream" "Like e...? Y-y..." "Yeah. Yeah... I'm- this is my last visit seeing you" "You're- like... forever?" "Yeah. Yeah I think so" "Well... forever is a long time"

Maybe desperate then. I completely forgot how genuinely shocked he was at the news that Tommy didn't want to ever go back. I'm fairly certain that this is the first time he's left completely with no words and no idea on how to react.

Also, Dream "forever is a long time" Wastaken having absolutely no qualms as long as it's him and Tommy spending that forever together. This man really needs some new hobbies. Maybe a potted plant or something.

"...you know what? there's nothing you can fu- This is my last time visiting you. So anything you wanna say to me now you can- you have to say to me now. Uhm, 'cause I'm not gonna see you again" "Why?" "Are you fucking-"

See... that's what I mean! Like, yes, he lies and manipulates and all of that, but there could be actual confusion here. Like, I do think that Dream understands exactly how fucked up everything he did to Tommy was. I don't think he's ignorant about that at all. I do think that he may not understand why that would be enough for Tommy to want to stop "their game".

Like, he obviously knows that Tommy has a shitload of trauma from what he put him through, but that's part of the fun for Dream isn't it? So does he actually understand that that "fun" is exactly why Tommy doesn't want to be around him anymore?

"I've been suffering from success while you weren't here" "Me too... except for without the 'success' part, just suffering"

Imagine abusing someone for months and then trying to get them to pity you once you end up in jail, what a f*cking looser! Also, Tommy definitely stumbling with the response because he's just very empathetic even towards Dream. Like, he repeats to himself a few times that Dream did deserve being in jail and that he did do bad things which feels much more like a reminder for himself on why he shouldn't pity him more so than a reminder for Dream.

"You had all this shit coming!" "I did... but... you know? I don't know. Maybe one day, right?" "No! No, have you seen the prison? It's kinda the most secure thing ever! Dude, you're not- you're not leaving here! sam's name still there, okay, thank god" "I'm just saying, like, maybe one day, you know?" "I- I don't-" "Eventually" "Maybe if you have extreme therapy" "Maybe one day I'll just walk out of here. Like-" "No, I don't-" "I feel like I've already been changing since I came here"

It's interesting just how quickly Dream managed to regain control of the situation though. Trying to harp on Tommy's tendency to empathize with people.

"This is my last time here. I might- I kinda- I don't wanna-" "But why?"

He asks a second time? Is he actually just that dense? Like, I get the trying to fish for sympathy aspect. He was trying to get something useful to get out of there and whatnot. But man... that's the guy he literally abused. Did he actually expect it to work? Was he just heavily relying on Tommy's empathy to pull this off or does he actually just not understand Tommy's view on their relationship at all?

"I don't wanna know you" "I mean exile it wasn't too bad, right?" "You fu-" "I mean you still- you had, you know? I mean we hang out and stuff" "I fu- you fucking- you bastard Dream!"

Honestly hear Dream talk about exile is always fascinating. Also, a gentle reminder that Dream was well aware about Tommy being suicidal during the whole duration of the exile. And yet he still defines it as "not too bad" because they were spending time together. Just... that... something alright.

"Listen, when I'm around you my brain feels like I'm fucking conditioned to be your friend but also when I have a knife I wanna just plunge it into your heart man it's like I don't- you don't make me a good person Dream, you make me bad, alright? All this shit that's happened has been because of you and I don't- I'm moving onto bigger and better things now bitch. I- I'm done. I'm done" "But isn't- what if- what if you just- like once a month or something?" "No. No, I don't- I don't wanna know you in my life anymore. This is done"

I simply couldn't not include this. I'm too much of an inniter for that. But also Dream is STILL insisting after that speech. He still didn't give up on getting Tommy to visit him more. It may be that he was just stalling for time until the explosions now that I think about it, but still, wow.

"You're a terrible man, alright?" "I did bad things-" "You're a bad guy. You're a wronging'" "Well, everyone thinks they're right from their perspective that's why I-" "That's not true. That's not true!" "Well, I think I'm right. I did bad things but I did them for good reasons, but-" "What do you mean good reasons? You're a psychopath" "I've learned. Yeah I did bad things but I've learned that I shouldn't have done them"

See, this is what I mean when I say that c!Dream apologists parrot c!Dream's rhetoric completely. Like, the whole idea that Dream had "good reasons" for his actions and that somehow that makes them okay didn't come out of nowhere, but it's sure recontextualized a lot when you understand that Dream is spouting this kind of bullshit just to convince his abuse victim to continue spending time with him. Like, when you actually look at how Dream uses his rhetoric instead of taking it as gospel it becomes pretty interesting to see how manipulative he can get.

"No what- what good reasons? No please, please enlighten us. Please enlighten me!" "I just wanted to- I just wanted to bring the server together. Have it be a happy family, you know?" "Bri- bring the server to- you fu-"

It's incredible how he was able to say that to Tommy of all people. After Tommy just mentioned moments priors how Dream tried to kill Tubbo. After he mentioned that he has trauma related to plain biomes because of Dream towards the beginning. Tommy does immediately call out the bullshit though and that's so satisfying...

"You ruined my past Dream, but you will not ruin my future" "I'm not- I- I- Tommy! I'm trying- I'm trying to change, to be better and not be the same person I was and you- it- it doesn't- y- you can visit me. Like, every now and then, right? It'll help! It'll help! Right? It'll help- it'll help me... be better" "Fuck off mate"

This was honestly the reason I rewatched the stream in the first place. I was looking for this specific quote because I thought I remembered it from somewhere and then I got distracted...

But yeah, the reason I was looking for it is that this is possibly the single slimiest f*cking move on Dream's side. If anyone is confused on the why, it's because, once again, this is emotional manipulation pure and simple. Dream putting the baggage of getting better on Tommy and appealing at his empathic nature to keep him into this f*cking abusive relationship. And also he's doing this while clearly panicked and grasping as straws. Because he does know that Tommy is not going for it right now, it's very obvious.

It's just... slimy...

[lxstfulbeans]

JUST CURIOUS OR NOOOOT....if you’re open or not, that’s cool~....

*slides a hundred your way*

I must know, what would it be like for Levi, Erwin, and lastly HANGE *clears throat* to be with a Black S/O, but here’s the catch. They’re the only black person behind the wall..well atleast what’s his name comes around..

Also, Drink plenty of water, stay hydrated, sleep well, relax, breathe, happy Valentine’s Day ❤️

Aight I gotchu babes, lemme get that hunnid up outcha 😏. And thank you so much 🥺 same to you!!

I feel like I gave more to Erwin and Hange than Levi, but I love these three equally 😭✋🏽. But, hope you enjoy this!

Headcanons: what it’s like with the only black s/o behind the walls.

Levi Ackerman:

When he first met you, he’s like “what in the fuck-“

He never meant it in bad way, oh no ma’am. It’s just that NO ONE has ever seen anyone like you before, let alone thought there were people of a different race.

But knowing Levi, and seeing his resting bitch face.. how could you ever know 💀.

My guy literally lived in the UNDERGROUND, on some “City of Ember” type shit, and has never seen someone like you before.

When you decided to join the Survery Corps. then eventually choosing the Scouts after being top of your class. He took it as an opportunity to observe you (well, him and like twenty, thirty other people 💀), whenever y’all sat and talked about expedition plans with Hange and the Commander, he enjoyed listening to you speak your mind and blast your opinions.

And don’t get me started on how strong and open-minded you are.

Eventually, he’ll start catching feelings. He’ll talk to you more, occasionally praise you for a job well done more than he’s done ANYONE else. He’ll even fucking compliment you and pick up on little things you’ve done.

Of course, when the other brats get outta hand when it comes to awful flirting and tryna see what that thang do. He shuts that shit down before it can even start.

“Oi. Get the fuck outta here before I use you as live bait for the Titans.”

Best believe they skedaddled.

He asks if you’re okay, and to tell him that if anyone else makes you uncomfortable like that again so he could properly whoop they ass.

Y’all get to talking and.. somehow talk most of the day away.

When he heard you laugh, he was struck. His heart pounding, though he couldn’t help but feel a smile tug at his lips.

Then, he asks you to be his. Which you accept with pride.

He’s always there to help you with wash days if you need it. He loves helping you, even if he doesn’t really show it.

Oh, and that discrimination shit? Y’all can cut that shit out right now cuz Levi don’t play.

Teamwork makes the dream work when it comes to cleaning. He’s impressed at how much better you are at it than he others.

Oh and your COOKING babyyy

He be stingy with it for sure. He was big mad when everybody else wanted some, at least you saved some pie for him.

And y’all are partners in fucking crime. Y’all be bodying Titans left and right bruh. Don’t nobody want the smoke.

Erwin Smith:

Oh my lawd, why is he so fine and RESPECTFUL 😔✊🏽.

Okay, okay this ain’t about me rn heheh.

Honestly, he’ll be flabbergasted to be in your presence. He’s never seen someone of a different race before, he wondered were there more of you on the outside?

When he saw you the first time on the return from another expedition outside the walls. His eyes met you and he was just.. amazed. He was sure that he wasn’t seeing things but, he had to see you again.

When he couldn’t find you, he had to come to the conclusion that you were a hallucination. I mean, he was exhausted, sleep deprived, and hungry.

But, eventually he found you by yourself at the bridge. He was amazed at how the morning sun made you glow, reflecting off of your brown skin.

When you caught him staring, he choked on his words as he rambled with apologies. This made you smile, inviting him to sit and enjoy the morning with you.

Y’all started talking and you just.. clicked. When he heard your laugh for the first time, he had it bad.

He tried visiting you as much as he could, even if it was only a simple “hello, how are you?” or the slightest of small talk.

When the Walls were invaded, you were helpless. No one bothered to help you, either saving their own asses or being eaten alive. You couldn’t count the times where you were so close to meeting death. You refused to become a victim and have fear control you.

When you joined the Scouts, he was shocked to you standing here before him. Your fist over your heart as you announce yourself. He never thought you would be here about to risk your life everyday.

But, he saw that fire in your eyes and smiled.

He couldn’t guarantee your safety but would do everything in his power to make sure nothing happens to you.

He’s a busy man. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t sit and talk with you all of the time. If you were lucky, he’d send a smile or even a wink your way.

Though, he’s often caught you by yourself again, watching the sunset or gazing into the night sky. The way you skin would glow made him look back on old times.

He sits with you, talking the night away and making you smile again.

Overtime, you eventually get closer. When you originally closed yourself of because of the events of “That Day”, but opened up more and more when you both were together.

Whenever somebody tries to snitch on you to him, you’re literally not phased by this shit.

“Tell him then, I don’t give no fuck! Matter of fact, I’ll tell him for you!”

He honestly adores how you don’t take shit from anybody, but he lets you get away with a little bit of things. He won’t reprimand you but will give you a slap on the wrist if you went too far with something.

Whenever he says something unintentionally funny, you just crack up laughing. Like, you are wheezing so silently and rolling on the floor in tears. He couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head at how silly you were.

He adored everything about you. Your laugh, how your skin glows in the light, your captivating smile, and how you weren’t playing games with nobody.

This time, he realizes his growing feelings for you.

Eventually, he confesses his feelings to you. Like this man is poetic as hell, he’s listing off everything he loves about you, even the little things made his heart soar. You were honestly shocked that your Commander felt this way about you.. but you couldn’t lie and say you didn’t feel the same.

After y’all get boo’d up, you’re basically a power couple.

Somebody got one time to talk shit about you, on god he is on them like white on rice.

“If you say one more word about them, I will personally make sure that on the next expedition, I will leave you behind...”

Ah, don’t you just love it when it he gets serious and protective?

And both y’all side-eye the fuck outta people when they don’t rub you the right way.

Wash days? He’s all for it. Once he sees your arms drooping, clearly worn out from washing your hair, he’ll happily roll up his sleeves and get up in there.

Bruh, have you seen his hands?? You KNOW his massages are bomb af, like you damn near fall asleep everytime he massages and scratches your scalp.

Don’t get him started on your cooking, he’d do anything for it. He gets so happy when you save extra plates for him to eat later.

When push comes to shove and everyone’s losing their shit, you have to be strong. Erwin’s always motivated you and inspired you, if humanity had any chance to survive, you had to show it.

“Y’all need to get yo shit together PERIODT! It’s okay to be scared, but we won’t make it out of this if you keep actin’ like this! Y’all signed up to protect humanity right?! Well, show these Titans who they fuckin’ with!”

After hearing that.. he wanted to marry you.

(bonus: let’s say that he’s alive 💀 cuz I literally cried when he got clapped like how-)

When you were finally able to go outside the walls without any fear of the Titans, you felt free.

When you came across the ocean, he couldn’t take his eye off of how amazed you looked at the clear blue waters, the sun making it shine towards its horizon.

“It’s everything Cadet Arlelt said, right? Where there’s an ocean.. there’s other lands, eventually other enemies.”

“I know. We made it this far, it’s only right that we keep goin’.”

Hange Zoë:

Hange can GET IT MM- 🤧 they are literally so fine.

oh, and it’s kinda canon that they’re non-binary so 😃.

This’ll be after you first join the Scouts and baby they was on you like white on rice INSTANTLY.

They’ve never seen anyone like you before. It was almost forbidden to learn or talk about anything beyond the walls, were there more of you?? Where did you come from?

Though, they’re outta pocket questions and lack of knowledge of something called, “personal space” kinda made you nervous so they brought down a couple notches.

When they got to know you more, they were just ecstatic to see you.

When Hange caught you alone, basking in the warm embrace of the sun, they couldn’t take the throbbing of their heart as your dark skin was shining.

When you eventually start dating, they had no problem putting folks in their place when they try you.

“Alright, I see that you have quite a lot to say about my s/o! I bet you won’t be spouting a word when you come face to face with Titan. I’ll happily let you see them up close..”

They’d absolutely kill for your cooking. Deadass. If they’re not the first and last one to get a plate, they’ll be big mad for a hot minute.

I’m sure they observe you a lot, especially when it comes to your routines and how you try your best not to smell like a hunnid cans of bounce dat ass 💀. So when wash day comes and you’re kinda tired after training, they’ll happily wash your hair for you.

They’ll praise you for all the hard work you’ve done, giving you little forehead kisses, massaging and giving light scratches to your scalp.

OOH WEE- you are in absolute heaven with them.

Both of y’all share that chaotic energy, bugging the hell outta Levi when you get the chance.

When it comes to fighting Titans, y’all don’t play! When it’s time to put the moves on ‘em you do it!

- - END SCENE - -

[queenofhearts7378]

Constellations Ch. 1

@ladylynse This is all your fault :)

Next Chapter

Draco sat stiffly on the bench next to him. For all that Danny had joked and teased, Draco never really lost the tenseness in his shoulders around him. Everything about him, in the enormous shadow of the house they currently sat under, was controlled and measured in regards to Danny’s presence.

Danny however was sprawled on the ground playing with Spooky. His robes fanned out around him, picking up all sorts of grass and dirt on the expensive fabric. Danny had made his thoughts on robes very clear from the beginning of this summer; when the elder Malfoy’s had called in a very discreet tailor to dress Danny up like the wizard he very much was not. 

“To keep up appearances.” Lucius had said.

Danny would have told him exactly where to shove the robes if it hadn’t been for the sad look crossing Narcissa’s face in a flash, or the snidely pleading look Draco had shot him.

Honestly. How anyone could look both snide and pleading at the same time was beyond him.

“Mother is allowing me to spend next summer in America.”

Danny paused in trying to train Spooky to play dead. “With us?”

Draco shot him his patented exactly-how-much-of-an-idiot-are-you looks he usually reserved for the Gryffindors he whines about all the time. “Who else would I go to?”

“I don’t know. You could always have a long lost twin or something. Oh wait….”

Draco let out a huff, but the twitching of his mouth showed his amusement, “You aren’t as funny as you think you are.”

“Uhh, I’m hilarious thank you very much.”

They were silent once again. Danny slowly sat up, brushing grass and leaves off his robes. He looked at Draco, watching as his eyes constantly flit back and forth across the grounds. It had taken a while for Danny to get why he did this.

At first he thought Draco was watching for danger, which was fair. Danny would do the same thing sometimes, watching for ghosts during a calm week because he gets anxious when no one has attacked him for a while. (Which was a whole nother thing he was pointedly not thinking about.) But Draco didn’t do it when they were holed up in their room and Draco was explaining potions and wizard astronomy while Danny tried to explain video games and rocket ships.

Danny actually preferred when they were arguing in the bedroom, because he saw a passion burn in Draco that he usually buried deep down; bringing a spark of life into cool grey eyes that were so different from Danny’s, but still very much the same.

But right now they were hanging out in the gardens behind the manor, and Draco kept his eyes out for anyone who might catch him “acting unbefitting of a Malfoy”.

Danny had phased Lucius’s cane partly through the floor after that comment, causing the usually graceful man to trip and fall to the ground. Draco had looked flabbergasted, but Danny preferred that over the look of shame that had been on his face after they were caught goofing off in the greenhouse.

“Lucius is actually going to let you go?” Danny asked when it became clear that Draco was not going to say anything else. “What happened to all that ‘filthy muggles’ crap he was spouting about like, an hour ago?”

Draco tensed even more. “You wouldn’t understand-”

“If it’s the squib thing again-”

“To protect us.” Draco snapped. “There’s something happening this year. Something big. And Mother wants us as far away from it as possible. Your muggles have proven themselves capable of caring after a magical child, so it’s only reasonable I spend next summer with you, as you have spent with us.”

Danny stood up and faced Draco, looking down slightly as his brother was still sitting on the bench. He guessed that Draco knew exactly what who was coming. And Danny himself put the pieces together after various eavesdropping sessions on Lucius and Narcissa’s occasional fights. But he wasn’t going to bring it up here, what with the potential ears hiding in the bushes and shadows. Secrets and personal conversations had a nasty way of turning up in the elder Malfoys’ knowledge, and as much as he liked Narcissa, Lucius just reminded him too much of Vlad; they both played life like a game of chess and had no qualms over sacrificing pawns in their games.

Danny hated chess. Wizard chess included no matter how cool it looked.

“My family.” Danny corrected. “Not just muggles.”

“We’re your family.”

“Lucius and Narcissa are strangers.” Danny said flatly. “They may be the reason I’m here, in both ways, but I don’t really know them. Narcissa has made somewhat of an effort, but no matter how cool she’s being about this; she’s still not my mom. Lucius is definitely not my dad.”

“And me?”

To anyone else, Draco might have sounded antagonistic and challenging. But Danny had gotten to know his newfound twin over the past few months. He may be generally oblivious to most things, but he could see the doubt and insecurity in Draco’s eyes. Danny had not spent his summer trying to prove to Draco that his friendship wasn’t conditional just to lose it now.

Danny grinned, “Dude you became my friend when you pushed me into the pond trying to get the snitch. I think you’re family by now, and my parents are going to think so too. Family doesn’t begin or end in blood.”

Tucker would be rolling on the floor in hysterics if he ever found out Danny used a Supernatural quote like that.

But Draco just looked shocked and confused, in his own snobbish way. And considering that bloodlines seem to be a big deal to the wizarding upper class, that would seem a rather radical statement.

Oh he couldn’t wait for him to meet Sam in all her activist rage against classism.

Draco’s eyes flitted across the ground again. “I always wanted a sibling,” He let out in a rush.

He met Danny’s eyes, “Mother had grown up with a sister. Her cousins all had at least one sibling as well. She had hoped it to be the case when she had her own children.”

He dropped his gaze, glaring at the small flowers scattered at his feet, “But the Malfoy bloodline has been cursed to only bear one heir. Being twins did nothing to change that. It’s why you were born a squib and Father gave you away. If you had been born with magic….The curse would have taken one of us.”

“Screw the curse, I consider you my brother.”

Draco snapped his head up.

Danny just shrugged, a wry grin on his face. “Last I checked I was officially disowned and declared dead,” Ha. “And I don’t think I’ll be in the will anytime soon after what I did to Lucius's wine collection.”

“He’s still not pleased about that.”

“Narcissa thought it was funny. And” Danny grinned wider, “Being my brother means you get an overbearing sister named Jazz as well. Two siblings at absolutely no cost to you.”

He would say three, but he wasn’t quite ready to bring up the whole Dani business and he especially wasn’t about to drag her into this long lost twin mess while she was still trying to figure herself out away from the shadow of being his clone.

Do wizards even have clones? How would he even bring that up in conversation? Doesn’t matter, problem for future Danny.

“So bro-”

“Do not call me ‘bro’ ever again.”

“-brother, twin, male sibling.” Draco groaned, “I cannot wait to take you to a muggle mall for some jeans.”

The look of absolute horror on his face sent Danny laughing. He couldn’t wait for next summer.

[candreloup]

I started to read your work and I absolutely love your writing! So I wanted send a request you could maybe do: A timid and shy hero is sent to fight a rather known cruel and flirty villain. But when the villain sees the hero is afraid of them the villain tries to be a bit more softer maybe even going so far as to comfort said hero who terrified of them.

Thank you so much! Also- HOLY MOLY MY OTHER POST BLEW UP AAA- um, thank you guys so, SO much for all the positive feedback and thank you so much to all the people who re-blogged my post! (I woke up and saw that shtuff and went AaaAAAA) Anyways, here's this ask! ('tis a good one :D)

Villain was sick and tired of waiting. If they were going to send someone to confront Villain, they should have just sent them. It made them angrier than they should have been. Maybe it was the fact that they couldn't have a life because of those so-called "heroes", or maybe it was just that Villain was so tired of being so one-dimensional. Of being whispered about, hated and scorned for something that they weren't. The creepy, sadistic villain sitting in their cold stone lair, waiting for the next victim to be sent in.

Villain was still a human. Not some monster to be taken down and killed, not some corrupt evil genius that only lived to harm- they were a human. But everyone seemed to lose sight of that fact.

A knock startled Villain out of their reverie. "What is it," Villain snapped, bracing themselves for the inevitable blustering "hero" bursting through the door, spouting nonsense about how they were going to take Villain down "once and for all". Instead, the door only creaked open a crack, and a timid voice called, "H-hello?"

Villain couldn't help but be surprised. After all, hadn't it been just yesterday that they had received a message telling them that they were "Finally getting what's coming to you" ? Hadn't they seen over and over the brand of person being sent to them, heard the countless rumors and criticisms being spread behind their backs? But this was different. The shy, quiet voice- albeit rather frightened- was new. Sent to take you down. Ha! Hero didn't seem like they could take down a rabbit. Of course, Villain had learned not to judge by the first impression. Who knew what they had hidden under their sleeves; who knew what could happen if they let their guard down. No, for now Villain would simply wait and watch, letting their instinct guide them.

"U-um, I think... I'm supposed t-to be here?" Hero stammered, still peeking through a tiny crack in the door. Villain sighed. Seems I'll have to be the initiator. Hero cracked open the door a touch more, making a small sound of surprise when they saw Villain striding towards them. "Uh, well- um- I d-don't know w-what I'm su-supposed to b-be doing here..." Villain didn't stop. Instead, they made the final steps to the door, forcing it open despite Hero's desperate attempts to keep it closed to reveal a small black-haired head and wide brown eyes, staring up at Villain in fear.

"Come in," Villain growled. Perhaps a tad too aggressive, as Hero shrunk back even further. "Come in," they said again, this time more gently. "I'm not going to hurt you." Hero looked up at Villain's face again, obviously trying to figure out if Villain was telling the truth.

God, they were so transparent it was almost a joke. Villain could almost see the gears turning in their head, see the thought process of "should I trust them?". "Well, don't just stand there," Villain said, getting frustrated with holding the door open. "Come in." When Hero still remained in place, Villain sighed in frustration and pulled Hero into the room. "I told you, I won't hurt you. Here, I'll leave the door open. There. Happy?" Hero's eyes darted nervously around the room, observing and finally landing on the open door. "No. You,"-Villain pointed at Hero- "There." Villain gestured to a couch. "Let's talk."

It was only after a few minutes of Villain talking and too much awkward silence that Hero finally spoke up.

"So... what are you here for? And don't say you don't know. I know you know why you're here. You can't fool me with your feeble attempts at lying."

"Well, I think... they told me to just, uh, come here? And um, well..." Hero glanced nervously at Villain, clearly afraid to finish their sentence. Villain just gestured at Hero to continue. Hero gulped nervously and finished, "They told me to try and kill you." The last words rang out in the empty room, echoing into silence.

"And what do you think?" Villain said softly.

"W-well, I think... maybe you're not such a bad person? And, I don't really know... why? I-I mean, I've heard lots of bad things about you... But, you don't, you know, seem... that bad...?" Hero trailed off, looking down at their feet.

Villain didn't know what to make of Hero. They were so strange, so... different. They came into Villain's lair like a frightened bunny, shaking and stammering and hiding behind doors. They were transparent, naïve and innocent. How the hell did they end up working for the organization? And yet, the change was a welcome one. It felt good, to be finally recognized as something more than just a "villain". To be finally acknowledged as maybe a little more than just a 1d caricature of a person. It was refreshing. And made Villain feel too possessive than they were comfortable with.

"V-villain?"

Villain looked up at Hero again.

"U-um, sorry- you weren't... talking a lot... Did I say something wrong?" Hero looked concerned. Yet another surprise. Villain stared at them for a second before bursting into laughter. Loud, clear laughter that filled the room and lasted for much longer than it should have. "W-wait! Why- Why are you laughing? Villain?"

As Villain's laughter died down and they wiped away tears, still having small bursts of chuckling to themselves, they noticed Hero's clearly confused face. "Um... Why did you laugh? What was so funny?"

"Ah, nothing, nothing." Concern. What a joke. As if a hero coming from the organization could be concerned for the person they were going to kill. That they'd met literally a few minutes ago. The thought made Villain want to laugh again. But for some reason, looking at Hero, the concern felt genuine. They could almost believe that Hero was actually concerned. Almost.

Don't let your guard down, Villain. You never know.

"Villain?" Hero hesitantly raised their hand as if to try and touch something. Then put it down again. "Um, Villain?"

Villain was instantly on their guard, preparing for some sort of attack. "Yes?" they asked warily, waiting for Hero to completely change personality or whip out some sort of secret weapon. Instead, what Hero said caught Villain completely off-guard.

"Um, could I... touch your hair?"

"What?"

Hero went into overdrive explanation mode. "Uh, I know it's a really weird request but, I mean, I just thought- your hair looked- I mean, I think your hair looks really soft, and I just kind of- I mean, maybe I shouldn't have said that but-" Villain cut Hero off.

"Sure." Hero froze for a second. Villain couldn't help but laugh to themselves at Hero's dumbstruck look. I don't even know honestly if they can kill me, even if they tried. "You can touch my hair."

Hero reached out a hand hesitantly. "A-are you sure? I know it's a really weird question..." Villain grabbed Hero's wrist and pulled it towards their head.

"I told you, go ahead."

Hero reached out, softly patting Villain on the head. Villain had a thought as Hero started to touch their head with both hands. What the fuck am I doing? Am I a cat? But that thought left their mind as Hero started to move closer, playing with Villain's hair.

"It's so soft," Hero said, mesmerized. "Um... can I braid your hair?"

A few moments later Villain was lying in Hero's lap as they braided Villain's hair. How did I get here? Seriously... Oh well. Hero's gentle touch and their warmth made Villain drowsy, all suspicious thoughts driven out of their head. If they really wanted to try to kill me, they would have done it a long time ago. Anyways, it felt good, letting their guard down in front of someone. Even if they died here, it would be worth it. This little bit of peace felt heavenly, the soft sound of Hero humming sending Villain slowly to sleep. It was worth it.

The room was cold, full of the quiet sounds of technology working. In the screen in front of them they could see Villain's face, eyes slowly closing. "Who knew the mighty Villain could be taken down so easily by such a simple trap?" A voice echoed through the room, coming from the figure sitting in a chair in front of the large control panel taking up much of the space. Who knew indeed. All along, the only thing they had to do to completely take Villain off their guard was that fool of a Hero, so stupidly naïve and innocent. It was so easy it was almost laughable. Villain, lying in someone's lap and letting them braid their hair? Ha! And yet, a little bit of stammering later and they had exactly what they wanted. God, they were both so predictable. So easy to manipulate. So stupid.

[meteor752]

Dsmp Hogwarts AU, except it’s all the characters and I go into why they are what they are, please reblog this took a long ass time

Man, what a title Huh? Anyways, this will obviously go over the characters and not the content creators, because in some cases those are vastly different

Also, before we start, I will go over an important thing that I will mention probably a few times, and that is the difference between Hufflepuff Loyalty and Slytherin Loyalty.

Both of these houses value loyalty, but in very different ways. Take for example that you’re a spy who has their best friend as their partner, and you’re out on some super important mission. Let’s also say that your partner got shot and is close to death, and the only way to save them would be to abandon the mission entirely.

A Hufflepuff would try to complete the mission because it would be the best for all, while the Slytherin would abandon the mission despite the fact that it could result in countless deaths, just to save their friend.

See it as Selfish Loyalty vs Selfless loyalty. Both are great things to have, but are still different.

Anyways, on with the show

Tomathy Danger Kraken Careful Innit

I have seen people try to argue that this boy is a Hufflepuff because of his loyalty and such, but gosh darnit everyone this child is a god damn Gryffindor. I mean, one of his main character traits is that he’s brash and too brave for his own good. The reason he got fucking exiled is because he burned down George’s house without thinking of the consequences, and then just screamed at Dream without thinking of the consequences. The same goes for Ghostbur’s “death”, it was because he had no real plan except Stab Dream with an axe. So yeah, Gryffindor

Wilbur Soot

Slytherin, 100%. This man has created one and a half nation, one entirely out of spite, he was both a general and a president, he’s a smart lil fella, and he managed to hold his own against the god of the server. I don’t even thing you guys wanna argue with me here

Tuberculosis Underscore

This one is tricky, because it’s really between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw for me. Like, he does possess the Hufflepuff loyalty™ plus he is very kind, but he’s also one of the more logical and observant characters we have in this server (The bar is very low let me tell ya). But I think I will have to go with Ravenclaw, just because like, the boy invented nukes. He built fucking nukes. So yeah, a very chaotic Ravenclaw that will spout bee facts at you, be prepared

Technoblade

My man is a Ravenclaw, no doubt about it. I mean, he started talking about an old greek myth in the middle of a war? Just Ravenclaw things amiright?

Philza Minecraft

I will have to go with Slytherin on this one, simply because of the large amount of Slytherin Loyalty, but also because of his cunningness and resourcefulness, but for real this was very tricky, simply because I don’t like to think about c!Phil too much because as some of you may know, I kinda hate him (Not the cc though, obvs, he’s awesome)

Ranboo My Beloved

Hufflepuff. This boy’s ideology is literally “Choose people, not sides”, he’s an honest and compassionate boy who works hard, and has a very open mind. He’s literally the by the book Hufflepuff

Eret

Honestly, Slytherin. I mean, they are ambitious as fuck, both shown by them betraying L’Manburg for the throne, but also by working hard towards their redemption arc. They are also a good leader of the smp, and in general a great role model to have

Nikki Nihachu

This one is actually difficult, simply because Nikki has gone through quite the character arc the past couple of months. She started out kind, sweet and loyal, a classic Hufflepuff. Then she joined the syndicate and straight up tried to kill a child, which is less Hufflepuff but who am I to judge. But in her core, as seen through her discussion with Jack about Tommy’s revival, she is still a good person that works hard for what she believes in, wants the best for everyone (Despite sometimes working in her best self interest) remains kind through it all. So yeah, Nikki is a Hufflepuff, just a bit of a sadistic one. But we can’t all be perfect ya know?

Fun Jonathan Michael Vincent Georgina James Sus Dy Soot

Ah, my favorite character, and also one of the best examples of a Ravenclaw. And I ain’t saying that just cuz I’m a Ravenclaw, Fundy is one of the most Ravenclaw characters out there. He’s creative, Clever, Spontaneous, Witty, Curious, Sharp, and a real trickster. The idea of Ravenclaws being the goody two shoes kids that always does their school work is just false, we never do our Homework and instead sit and read about things we find interesting, and Fundy is a good example of that. Also he was quite the eager learner during the Dreamon Hunters arc, which again is a good example of a Ravenclaw. So if Ranboo is the by the book Hufflepuff, then Fundy is the by the book Ravenclaw.

Dreamwastaken

I’m pretty sure it’s confirmed that Dream is actually a Slytherin, and I ain’t arguing with that. This boy is cunning, sly, a leader, traditional, Self-Preserving, and a master with words. There is not much more to say here, apart from the fact that Slytherins main colour is literally green, so it all checks out, this boy is a snake.

George Lore

Mr not found over here really is hard to pinpoint down, simply because his main character trait is his apathy, which isn’t really a trait for any of the houses. I was discussing this one with my girlfriend, and both of us were pretty clueless of what to do with him. I was thinking if Hufflepuff since they take the ones that don’t fit anywhere else, but then I was reminded of the most recent Dream XD stream, which showed us one thing, and that is that George is clever, observant, and Sharp Minded, all the traits of a Ravenclaw. Sure, he could also be Slytherin as he was both cunning and sly as well, but I think Ravenclaw fits him more personally.

Sappitus Nappitus Boyhalo

Finally we have another Gryffindor, there’s been a serious lack of them on the list. My man is a fighter, he’s bold, he’s brave, he’s passionate, he’s confident, and he doesn’t really think that much of the consequences of his actions (Cough the pet war cough), so yeah this boy a lion.

Punz

Ah, Punzie, the mercenary themself. Tbh, I know very little about them because Punz don’t get involved that much in lore unless they are hired for something. I mean, they were in the eggpire, but even then they were barely involved, which is sad cuz I like Punz. But what we have seen of Punz is that they are someone who does not care about you or what you want, as long as you pay them. They are power hungry and self preserving, which means that I have to put them in Slytherin.

Jack Thunder1408 TV Manifold

The boy who I can’t help but be sympathetic towards. Jack is also a hard character to pin point because of the reason that he’s gone through quite the development. Jackie boy is a very broken character that has literally been through hell, so it’s hard to properly sort him. He’s quite confident and clever, yet cunning and resourceful, so for me it’s either Slytherin or Gryffindor. But I do lean towards Gryffindor more, partly because of his stubbornness and gullibility, and part because of all the fire imagery that’s associated with him. I mean, the cc described him as burning inside, he’s been through the scape of fire and death, and he burnt his nation to the ground. In case you didn’t know, Fire is the element of Gryffindor, so yeah, another red and gold boy.

JSchlatt

Schlatt is as both charming, charismatic and calm in the early days, using subtle manipulation tactics to get his way and achieve ultimate power. He’s ambitious, narcissistic, cunning, and tyrannical, while still hiding it all behind a facade of smiles and waves. He could also be both cruel and irresponsible at times, aka the time he had an underage child drink during an event, but ya know, mistakes. So all in all, I think it’s pretty clear that he’s a Snakey boy.

QuackityHQ

As much as I love CC!Quackity, I also fucking hate him because of the many, many different directions he’s taken this character which makes it possible for him to fit in literally any of the houses. The duckie is both Chaotic and lawful, he’s both friendly and hostile, he’s a smart cookie and a fucking dumbass, so like bruh. But, I’m gonna have to go with how he is now, which is manipulative, power hungry, cruel, and strong willed. Aka, another Slytherin.

Karl Jacobs

Finally, a character that is not broken down to the point of barely making out a readable personality. Karl is a kind and funny person, who is very open to new people considering how often he gives tours to visitors and new people, and he is quite literally loosing himself traveling through time in an attempt to help people. Hufflepuff

Awesamdude

This one I know will be controversial, but I’m saying Hufflepuff on him. Sam is one of the best cases of the Hufflepuff loyalty, literally letting both Tommy and Ghostbur be stuck and ultimately die in the prison just so he wouldn’t risk Dream breaking out. Before that point he was very kind and gentle towards Tommy, literally building a robot to keep him safe and take care of him. Sam nook is a reflection of Sam’s feelings towards Tommy, and they are kind and gentle.

Dropsbyponk

Ughhhh, another tough one. Ponk is a chaotic being who is mostly neutral in conflicts, but is shown to be very open about their feelings towards those they care about, like Sam or Foolish. They seem to be have strong feelings in what they believe in, and can be a bit brash sometimes, not really caring about the consequences of their actions, which is what makes me say Gryffindor for them.

Badboyhalo

Our favorite muffin demon. I assume, I don’t know what life you live. Anyways, Bad is like the stereotypical Hufflepuff. The kindhearted, well meaning, sweet, responsible Hufflepuff. The Hufflepuff that’s like in all of those incorrect quotes blogs and “Slytherin and Hufflepuff friendships uwu” posts. But for real, Bad is very Hufflepuff. He does however have Slytherin Loyalty, considering he pretty much sacrificed the entire server for Skeppy, but if you would try to convince me that Bad is a Slytherin I will just laugh at you

Skeppy

It was at this point I realized what I’ve gotten myself into with this post, which you know, not fun. Skeppy is both cocky and filled with energy, with a real ambition to cause chaos. He’s also shown to be willing to sacrifice himself for the person he loves, Bad, when he gave himself up to the egg. I’ve seen some people say Slytherin, but I’m kinda getting Gryffindor from the lad, so yeah, another lion.

Antfrost

Frosty here is a kind hearted person that for the most part seem to be along for the ride. He reminds me a bit of a parent of toddlers, with his patience and serenity towards the more chaotic people on the server, so of course my natural instinct is Hufflepuff. Buuuuut, then there’s again the issue with the egg and the Slytherin loyalty, this time towards his boyfriend Velvet who he was willing to join a cult for (relationship goals) but again, you can’t really say Ant is a Slytherin considering how wrecked he was about what he did while in the eggpire when he was released from it’s grasp. So yeah, Puffle boy

Captain Puffy

Oh captain my captain, you are such a Gryffindor. And some of you may disagree on that, stating that she’s a Hufflepuff or something (I did research before this to check what other people think, I know) but naaah, she a lion. Puffy is very motherly and protective towards other people on the server, especially the minors, but in the way that a Bear is protective towards its cub, which is gentle towards them but fierce towards others. Puffy also falls natural in the role of a leader as seen with Pro-Omelette, but that is kinda expected since she’s a past Pirate Captain. But she wasn’t the leader she was supposed to be, as she waited quite a while to act against the eggpire out of fear of hurting her friends, which lead to quite the damage towards the rest of the server. She’s also been shown to act on impulse, killing Antfrost and taking one of his lives after he killed her son. Idk if this is a good explanation of why I believe Puffy to be a Gryffindor, it sounds more like I’m claiming her to be a Slytherin or Hufflepuff, but she is a Gryffindor I promise!

Foolish Gamers

Foolish is a kind and friendly being, if not a bit naive and easily distracted. He’s also not the brightest person, in fact I’d go as far as to call the guy a Himbo, and he can be a bit skittish sometimes if he’s stressed or haven’t taken a break in a while. But despite it all, the guy is someone who’s creative and hard working, with a brilliant mind for his building. The man is an artist who can get grumpy if you suppress his creative aura, and put his heart and soul into his works. He also has a habit of getting wrapped up in big projects, and ignoring sleep or personal care until he’s finished them. This all leads me to say that Mr Gamers is a Ravenclaw, just not the smartest one. But hey, we can’t all be geniuses, can we.

Slimecicle

Slime is very naive and very trusting towards people around him, taking every word they say as a fact. He can also be a bit dark and ominous at times, but quickly shakes it off as nothing important. This all makes him quite childish, which is very hard to sort, so I’m gonna say Hufflepuff for his friendliness and move on.

Purpled Bedwars

I actually started loving this guy the minute I saw him, purely because Purple is my favorite colour, like my man has taste. Purpled, like Punz, is a guy who helps whoever pays him the most. He’s not interested in most things on the server, too busy looking out for number one (And Dogchamp of course). He’s very self reliant and resourceful, but still quite passive. He may not be the most ambitious guy, but Purpled is definitely a Slytherin (It also brings me and my girlfriend Serotonin knowing that the mercenary siblings are both in the same house, we love those two)

Hannahxxrose

I don’t watch Hannah that much, but god I love her voice, it makes my lesbian little heart happy. Hannah is a friendly person who is very naive about the conflicts on the server, thinking it all can can be solved by placing a rose (God I wish). She’s a good decorator and a good hearted person, who unfortunately fell victim to the egg’s influence. I’m going with Hufflepuff on her, but I’m honestly not entirely sure as I don’t know that much about her.

HBomb94

H is a very well meaning person that only really wants people to be friendly towards each other. He had a strict moral code and he keeps to it, as shown where Fundy tried to get his help with blowing shit up. He’s very helpful to those who ask and is willing to back up his friends when it’s needed, which makes me say that the friendly totally not dirty cat maid is a Hufflepuff.

Connoreatspants

I just want you all to know that I’m writing this before Connor’s lore stream that surely will just go against everything I say because fate hates me, just so ya know. Connor is not a person that does stuff on the server with lore and he for the most part keeps to himself, so this is a bit hard. Connor also has this thing where he likes to say things just to confuse him, and also making a bit of cursed lore, but he’s still a fairly humble person. He does lie and steal a bit, and has this habit of moving into other people’s houses, but I digress. I’m actually leaning towards Ravenclaw on him, for some reason, so that’s what I’m going with until I have more of an established character.

ItsAlyssa

I know she has left the server and stuff, but she was one of the original members so it would be a crime not to include her. Alyssa is a bit chaotic, often going on killing sprees, or burning down the trees outside of L’Manburg. So I’m placing Alyssa in Gryffindor, but to be honest I don’t really know at this point.

Callahan

How do you sort a person who does not speak, stream, or show like anything of his personality? The answer is, you don’t. Hufflepuff is the house of those who don’t fit in anywhere else, and that’s where I’m placing him.

Vikkstar123

Please log onto the server I’m begging you, I didn’t watch you as a kid and honestly know nothing about you. From what I’ve seen of Vik he’s a very humble person that tries to stay out of it all, instead forming a land together with his bro Lazar. Honestly my instincts say Ravenclaw and I trust my instincts, so I’m putting him in Ravenclaw

Lazarbeam

Lazar was actually a big part of the exile arc which I realized after already have written his, so now I gotta rewrite it. Lazar is fairly ambitious on the server, and has the goal to obtain the most powerful objects on the server just to rival the other strong members of the smp. He’s especially against Tommy, and aims to do a lot to be the opposite of him, aka well respected and not a war criminal that got exiled (Totally fair goal). Despite that, he was able to show some empathy to the British child, even going as far as to give him a disk during his exile. This all makes me say Slytherin on him.

Michaelmcchill

Newest boy. Michael is a very apathetic person, showing little to no empathy towards most people’s trauma on the server. The person he does feel empathy for however is Dream, who of course did nothing wrong and is locked up in the prison which is just horrible oh no. Michael just truly does not care about what you’ve been through (as of now) which is why I’m gonna say Slytherin, because he does have Slytherin loyalty towards Mr Was Taken.

TL;DR

Tommy-Lion

Wilbur-Snake

Tubbo-Eagle

Techno-Eagle

Philza-Snake

Ranboo-Badger

Eret-Snake

Nikki-Badger

Fundy-Eagle

Dream-Snake

George-Eagle

Sapnap-Lion

Punz-Snake

Jack-Lion

Schlatt-Snake

Quackity-Snake

Karl-Badger

Sam-Badger

Ponk-Lion

Bad-Badger

Skeppy-Lion

Antfrost-Badger

Puffy-Lion

Foolish-Eagle

Slime-Badger

Purpled-Snake

Hannah-Badger

HBomb-Badger

Connor-Eagle

Alyssa-Lion

Callahan-Badger

Vik-Eagle

Lazar-Snake

Michael-Snake

So all together we have Seven lions, Ten Snakes, Seven Eagles and Ten Badgers. I think that’s fair tbh