#also pikaflute if you see this YES ABSOLUTELY YOU MAY HUG ALL OF THEM

[gaycrittercentral]

So have you thought about the max and Sam vices meeting yet?

Welp, I don’t think it’d be a good thing, that’s for sure! (hi I'm home now and I've been having a lot of fun thinking about this teehee)

I know one thing, if sinful Sam and blissed Max met it’d be really funny and also awful lmao. Like y’all know how bliss Max is, he’d be all maddeningly cheerful and pleasant and sinful Sam would fucking hate that and probably throw him into a wall within seconds of meeting him (*extremely calm, happy-sounding “whee!”*) honestly they make me hope that this is a situation where their normal, non-separated partners are there to prevent a fight and help them out in general, because if not, somebody’s definitely gonna get hurt. Actually it’s more interesting if Hugh Bliss yeeted all the vices out of Max and the virtues out of Sam at the same time just to make things hard for them (and it would also leave the world Blissified for waaaay longer because none of them are going to cooperate easily).

Now let’s see, who makes for interesting interactions…

Temperance and Gluttony would have a pretty short-lived little encounter lmao. Temperance gets about five seconds to approach and be like “Now, Max, you know having that much sugar and carbohydrates at once isn’t good for you—here, I found this healthy snack in aisle 2 that’s much more filling!” And Gluttony’s like “ohhhh you do look like a good snack! Thanks for the offer!” And instantly eats him lmao. Hopefully somebody holding the gastrokinesis talisman gets swallowed later and rescues him hfkdhsjh

Speaking of Temperance, he might be the only one to actually try to put himself and Max back together. Blissed Max and sin Sam both feel kind of free without the missing aspects of their personalities, even though they’d miss them if they had all their wits intact, and all the other virtues and vices are too caught up in doing the extreme of their own thing to worry about coming back together. But extremes are not Temperance’s thing, and it’s freaking him out to be split apart like this, so he’d be all for reuniting everyone. He’d probably try to recruit some of the others to help out, maybe by asking Patience for advice or getting bliss Max on board because he’s just willing to go with the flow no matter what. I’m sure some of the others would also help, like Kindness (to a degree, at least—he doesn’t want to get reunited with the others because he insists he’s got more good works to do) or Charity (who’s very useful if you want him to deliver items or people to various places, you just tell him it’s a gift for someone lmao) and maybe even some of Max’s vices, although most of them seem to just want to do their own thing. I feel like Lust and Greed could be persuaded into going along with the plan if they were promised kisses or riches.

I would feel extremely bad for Sloth if he had to interact with Diligence. That guy sucks. It might be sort of an unstoppable force versus immovable object situation though lmao, he’s like “get up right now we have work to do!! You cannot just lie around all day!!!!” “Sure, whatever. Just gimme five more minutes…” As for why Diligence even wants Sloth to get up and help him, it’s less that he values Sloth’s help and more that he can’t stand seeing people rest for any amount of time eugh. Extreme wet blanket (maybe he springs from the horrible ‘constant productivity’ mentality that capitalism has foisted upon us all, although luckily Sam doesn’t usually seem to struggle with that).

And LMAO I’d love to see Wrath and Patience interact, especially since I established Patience as being inexplicably indestructible. Definitely another unstoppable/immovable situation. Wrath might not care about him initially because he’s sitting still and not very interesting, but the second Patience decides to spout some infuriatingly calm, know-it-all wisdom, he’s made himself a target. Maybe Wrath spends like 20 minutes shooting at him and screaming with no reaction from Patience before he resorts to physical violence instead and just goes to town biting and beating the hell out of him. If he’s really unlucky and gets close enough, Patience might decide to subdue him with a hug, and then he’s just screaming his head off and gnawing on Patience’s arms until he can finally squirm back out. Not sure whether he would just keep trying to kill him because of the challenge or get frustrated and leave to assault somebody a little less bulletproof, but it’d be funny anyhow!

Another interesting one with Wrath would be Kindness, who would probably assume he was having a bad time and try to help him calm down at first, only to of course be shot at immediately. I don’t think the rest of the virtues are bulletproof—that’s just a weird Patience thing—so of course he has to back off, but he might instead try to bring Wrath things to shoot at other than civilians. You know, white collar criminals, unsavory politicians, neonazis, that kind of thing. It’s the same kind of help Kindness always provides; that is to say, it’s technically helpful and kind, at least to someone, but probably morally questionable at the same time. Except for the neonazis. He is objectively correct for that one.

As for the rest of them, obviously there’s no canon versions of Max’s other vices, but I’m sure y’all have seen pikaflute's and lizardtheartist’s excellent interpretations of them! I’m not about to recreate all the same concepts when there’s already such good versions of them out there, so here’s hoping it’s alright with them if I borrow from their ideas just a tad and theorize about what a crossover of all these colorful little guys would look like. (And obviously, @pikaflute and @lizardtheartist, if that’s not cool with y’all just say the word and it’s gone sjfkdlshjklsh. I'm mostly gonna talk abt my guys anyway bc I don't want to step on y'all's toes)

First off, I’m concerned for Envy. I love pikaflute’s idea of him clinging to Sam’s back, but what if this is a world where Hugh Bliss simultaneously ripped out Max’s vices and Sam’s virtues, leaving no whole version of either of them? Then Envy would either have to stick to sin Sam, which I do not recommend at all because his anger management is at an all time low, or he’d have to find a virtue to hang on to. If he gets his pick, I’d recommend Kindness because obviously he’s the most pleasant of them, but Patience also wouldn’t be a bad pick (until Wrath shows up and tries to Thunderdome his ass, of course). I would LOVE to see either of those interactions, tbh. Kindness would be going crazy trying to help him out however he could but not knowing how ;-; oop but I just revisited their concept and saw that Sam showing him kindness is what helps him out so actually that might be a really good match! Idk I’m just a big sucker for the mushy things and Envy’s concept makes me want to squish him like a plushie hfkdhsjhd. Brb I’m gonna go squish my face in my Max plushie instead

Greed and Charity would also be really funny because I feel like they could go in two totally different directions. Like for one thing, Charity could be trying and failing to get Greed to give up his hoard, which would very much sound like a little old grandmother fussing at a fucking dragon. Or on the other hand, since Charity really just wants to give people things and doesn’t seem to mind what they do with them, maybe he just keeps bringing Greed more stuff to throw on the pile lmaoooo. Like as you’re walking around more and more things keep going missing from around the neighborhood and the office is just FULL of all the shit Charity keeps dragging in because “wow he really likes my gifts! That’s awful nice :)” I’m partial to that version if I’m being honest lol

I’m gonna be so real though my favorites are Kindness and Lust and I’m having such a good time thinking of what their interactions with each other’s groups would look like hdjdhjdhd. Kindness is delighted to have multiple of his favorite little guy running around and tries to do something nice for all of them, although the stuff he does may not be nice for bystanders, like catching various criminals just so Wrath can have somebody to shoot at lmao. Maybe he makes Gluttony a nice meal, the effort of which is instantly put to waste when Gluttony swallows it whole and then tries to eat Kindness too. He might bring Greed a nice gift for his hoard or give Sloth a pillow and blanket hehee. But he also has a seventh of his usual brain cells so he keeps getting distracted and running off to help the next Max midway through all of them.

I’d also love to see Kindness interact with lizardtheartist’s version of Pride bc like he’s planning to conquer the world, right? Kindness would be insanely easy to manipulate into helping him with that. He’s just like “oh sure! Anything for my little buddy ^^” and zips off to do whatever fucked up thing Pride asked because sure, he wants to do good deeds and help people but mostly he wants to be kind to every version of his best friend, and that means every single Max vice has total power over him fjdkslgjkslfh. The only thing that would stop him from diligently (lol wrong one) carrying out Pride’s every order is getting distracted by other good deeds to do, especially for the other vices or bliss Max.

Obviously Lust is gonna be thrilled to have more than one Sam around even if some of them aren’t down to do the horizontal tango with him. He’s just like “oh my GOD a million Sams! This is my greatest fantasy!!” A couple of them just turn down his affections immediately, like Diligence bc he’s a dumb workaholic stick in the mud. Or Patience because “there’ll be time later, little buddy.” Humility hides from him because he doesn’t feel worthy of any version of Max. But luckily Lust isn’t completely out of luck—Charity, for example, is happy to give just about anything away, definitely including kisses. Temperance is the embodiment of that DK meme that’s like “you may hit it…ONCE” fjkzjshdjszg. And Kindness is happy to do whatever Lust asks because he LOVES being able to do something nice for someone who actually wants what he’s giving them, but also he’s not great in bed bc he only knows how to give and doesn’t want anything for himself ghhdgsjsg.

And lastly, of course it’d be hysterical to see Lust and Chastity interact. I feel like chastity itself is the act of repressing oneself, but not truly ridding oneself of sexual desire, so you know Chastity still wants some. He absolutely starts sweating buckets the second Lust shows up lmaooo, like he wants Max so bad it makes him not only look stupid, but also feel stupid and ashamed. He is trying so hard to deny it but it’s really fuckin difficult when Lust won’t stop flirting with him. And I feel like Lust can smell that on him the way animals (and probably Max) smell fear, so he’s just poking and prodding and flirting and inching closer until Chastity is genuinely tomato-colored instead of pastel pink. And then I feel like they get found making out in a closet or some shit later and Chastity gets so embarrassed he just squeaks and pops out of existence hdjhdkdhdhsvsn

(also here’s a thing I just thought of now: “Hey chaste me, wanna rub my unicorn?” *Chastity makes a sound outside of the range of human hearing and passes out on the spot*)

And that’s all I got for now! Also to @ar-bi-trary and @gizmo-dgery and @planetlessmoon and pikaflute themself SCREECH thank y'all so much for your sweet tags and thanks again to skeletor for the prompts!!! I have been internally screeching and externally rolling around and kicking my feet in glee at the sight of each and every one of them, god it's so fun to share ideas about these idiotic gay animals heheheheheeee. Also I happen to have another day off tomorrow so maybe I’ll finally get around to drawing these guys then :D ok that's it byeeeee