#honestly could've done a bit better on shading a few things but whatever

[bloodied-dagger]

some song recs based off lyrics

@rainbowangel110 has asked, so I shall deliver

did I spend entirely way too much time on this? Yes. Was it worth it? Probably not. Did I have to add the lyrics I related to the most for every single song? No, but rainbow specifically mentioned the lyric posting and it's fun soooooo (anyways it's 4:30 AM over here so. if you see any mistakes, no you didn't. I'll edit this in the morning so it won't have any)

Complete list without the commentary is at the bottom. List is in a Song Title - Artist format

Alternative

“Alternative” is being very loosely used here, there will be other genres mixed in here. Also, there is no particular order for this bit

I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons This is probably the most country song you'll ever get out of me, right next to the Nickleback song I've got in there

'Cause I will wait I will wait for you And I will wait I will wait for you

BREATHING UNDERWATER - Hot Milk This is very alt-rock emo of me, sorry rainbow

I tried breathing underwater to drown out the doubt Cracked under the pressure and nearly bled out You said you'd always save me - so where are you now? Feels like I'm failing, I'm dancing while drowning alone

Bells - The Unlikely Candidates Honestly I don't really care about the lyrics for this one, I just think I should throw something a bit more mellow after that last one and it's a good song so

And where we go, nobody knows Those bells are ringing, ringing loud Oh lord, we're going down - six underground Those bells are ringing, ringing loud

Razzmatazz - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME Once again I throw a song in for the vibes and not the lyrics. Sue me

And now, well Some things just cannot be fixed With sparkled tongues and politics In a fascist little paradox, we all become anonymous

Rule #11 - My Dream, My Addiction - Fish in a Birdcage Okay, last one I'm adding for the vibes- for now

I, I've never seen a storm this fierce I, am feelin' rather small in here As the walls start to compress Shifting, squirming, restlessness

For You - Loveless Alright now here's a song I'm adding for the lyrics. It's also more on the rock song but it's not that heavy I don't think (maybe minus the bridge where it goes all heavy metal baseline for 8 or so bars)

Wasted my time Why would I ever waste another line on you, you? Crossing the line Why would I ever tell another lie for you, you?

Apologies - acloudyskye You must be something else if you thought we were getting out of this list without a skye song in here. This one isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea bc it's electronic but I like it so

I often think about their lives A fault in me I can't deny And in the end I won't even think So, apologies for all these things

Broken Zipper - Group Project You know I had to put a gp song on here somewhere. This one's def a more feel good song, also one I use to call myself out on with when I'm getting pissed about the little things Although it is a love song about crushing on your best friends sister or something? Whatever

You spend one week's worth of pay on your night out Wrote in pen and ran out of white out Lost your shades and it's much too bright out But who the fuck cares when you're breathing fine right now?

Could've Been Me - The Struts This song has made me cry, and that's an achievement when it's as upbeat of a song as it is

I wanna live better days Don't want to look back and say "It could've been me It could've been me"

Playing Dead - VIOLÀ Came because the song is an emo banger, stayed because I related to it a little while later. This one's also very rock, but I have to have a few in here

But if this is the last time I say sorry Then I'll take it back, 'cause I don't mean it You are the cancer in my body I'm done playing dead 'cause I still feel it

Through the Ghost - Shinedown No idea what living "through the ghost" means but it sounds poetic as hell

Speak of the devil, Look who just walked into the room The guilty invaded notion Of someone I once knew

Reason for Living - Morgan Page This song is actually for the beat saber soundtrack, and so is the next one. Naturally, it's on the more electronic/dance side of things but some of the lyrics are Big Mood™ so

'Cause I don't even sleep no more these days No such thing as staying up too late And nobody's at home waiting for me I'm staying up on a feeling - it's the reason for living

Heavy Weight (feat. Beat Saber) - Lindsey Stirling The fact that beat saber can get lindsey-fucking-stirling on a song is kind of crazy to me. Like. What

Heavy weight Feel it in my past mistakes But I think I've carried them For way too long

Inertia - AJR The shortest songname - artistname on this whole list, probably because it's competition is an artist who's name is abbreviated to IDKHBTFM. Anyway, when this came out I fucking Felt It hearing these words for the first time, and they still hit me the same way (maybe even more effectively than before)

An object in motion Don't ask where I'm going 'Cause where I am going is right where I am (Oh man!)

Alma Mater - Group Project This song reminds me of good times. Maybe not better times, but good ones that're long gone now.

I said "Hey, Why we always end up staying out late, Staying out late?"

It's a love song but I'm 100% not focused on that at all /gen

(Sad, yet) Impactful

Little commentary, songs in order of how impactful each of them are in my opinion (top = least, bottom = most) Also a good portion of these are probably heartbreak songs or smth but I'm pretending they're not like an aromantic would

Cellphone - Promoting Sounds & Nate Kest

It's getting late, I sipped too much Look at me strange, I'll be too blunt I'm easy to hate; I'm hard to love But you love me anyway - or is it lust?

I Won't Beg for You - Chri$tian Gate$

'Cause I won't beg for you, my dear These knees have bled, pulled out my hair Didn't know you tried to burn us down Even when we tried to work it out

Call Me - Shinedown

I finally put it all together But nothing really lasts forever I had to make a choice that was not mine I had to say goodbye for the last time

By The Way - Theory of a Deadman I usually listen to the "(Acoustic) [Bonus Track]" version of this song when I'm sad. figured that was worth mentioning so it isn't out of place (a hard rock song in the middle of a slower song list)

By the way You left without saying goodbye to me Now that you're gone, away All I can think about is you and me, you and me

Rayleigh Scattering - acloudyskye

And if it gets better It's taking forever And what's with this weather? It's not getting better

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

So Before you go Was there something I could've said to make it all feel better? If only I had known you had a storm to weather

Landing In London - 3 Doors Down

And when the night comes in around me And I don't think I'll make it through I'll use your light to guide my way 'Cause all I think about is you

Ashes of Eden - Breaking Benjamin

Are you with me after all? Why can't I hear you? Are you with me through it all? Then why can't I feel you?

To Build a Home - Grace Page

And I built a home For me, for you Until it disappeared From me, from you And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust...

Better Than Me - Bohnes

'Cause I Know that you Deserve better than me Better than me, yeah

My Body Is a Cage - Peter Gabriel This one's only here because of that full orchestra impact moment honestly

I'm standing on a stage Of fear and self doubt It's a hollow play But they'll clap anyway

No Time To Die - Billie Eilish

I should've known That I'd leave alone Just goes to show That the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe

My Immortal - Effervescent

These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me And just forget the world?

Somewhere Out There - acloudyskye

It's over Oh, and under Under we go So far below

Full list, no commentary:

Alternative

I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons

BREATHING UNDERWATER - Hot Milk

Bells - The Unlikely Candidates

Razzmatazz - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Rule #11 - My Dream, My Addiction - Fish in a Birdcage

For You - Loveless

Apologies - acloudyskye

Broken Zipper - Group Project

Could've been me - The Struts

Playing Dead - VIOLÀ

Through the Ghost - Shinedown

Reason for Living - Morgan Page

Heavy Weight (feat. Beat Saber) - Lindsey Stirling

Inertia - AJR

Alma Mater - Group Project

Impactful

Cellphone - Promoting Sounds & Nate Kest

I Won't Beg For You - Chri$tian Gate$

Call Me - Shinedown

By The Way (Acoustic) [Bonus Track] - Theory of a Deadman

Rayleigh Scattering - acloudyskye

Before you go - Lewis Capaldi

Landing in London - 3 Doors Down

Ashes of Eden - Breaking Benjamin

To Build a Home - Grace Page

Better Than me - Bhones

My Body Is a Cage - Gabe Peters

No Time to Die - Billie Eilish

My Immortal - Effervescent

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

Somewhere Out There - acloudyskye

[minniethemoocherda]

Iridescent: Chapter 11

Summary: When Jazz is promoted to Head of Special Operations, the last thing he expected was to have to work with a face from his past.

Ao3

FF.net

Jazz quickly shut off the robotic voice of his text-to-speech generator as he heard a knock on his door.

He wasn't expecting anyone. And the past few times that someone had turned up unexpectedly at his door hadn't exactly bode good news so he went to answer it with caution.

Even with all the scenarios he was imaging, Jazz was still surprised to find Prowl standing behind his door.

"Hey Commander." Jazz greeted, leaning against the doorway. "You got more paperwork for me?"

"No." Prowl stated. His expression gave nothing awayway but judging by his long pause he was clearly gathering his thoughts to say something. "Would you like to... hang out with me?"

Jazz nearly slid off the doorframe. Honestly he'd been starting to worry that Prowl was about to tell him that somebody else had died. So it was a bit of a relief. If no less confusing. But frankly Jazz didn't really care about the reasonings behind Prowl's change of heart. As whilst Jazz wasn't currently the Praxian's biggest fan, that didn't mean that he didn't want Prowl to like him back.

"Alright." He shrugged, not wanting to appear too eager. "Do you want to meet up in the rec-room for lunch?"

"The recreational room is very loud." Prowl stated.

"Well most people's shifts don't start ending for another hour so it should be pretty quite right now. I'll just finish this then we can head down if you want?"

Prowl paused, that breifly blank look crossing his eyes that Jazz had begun to recognise as when he was assessing all possible probabilities with that big battle computer brain of his. Whatever conclusion he'd come too must have been acceptable as a moment later Prowl nodded.

Jazz tried his best to finish his work as quick as possible. He avoided Prowl's gaze as he turned the text to speak generator back on but thankfully the commander didn't make any comment on it.

As soon as he was done, Jazz lead the way towards the rec room, not wanting to give Prowl time to change his mind.

Thankfully Jazz had been right in his guess that it wouldn't be busy. Besides the clashing green and red forms of Inferno and Hound taking up one of the central tables with a cyber-chess match, the place was empty.

Jazz poured a cube of energon for himself then one for Prowl, trying the get it to the same shade of pink that he remembered Sideswipe previously making for the commander. It must've been close enough as Prowl took one inspecting glance at cube before taking a sip. Jazz mentally tallied that as a win.

Despite the place being practically empty, Prowl took them to the right corner booth which would let them survey the room whilst keeping an eye on the exit. Whether Prowl was aware that he'd done this on purpose, Jazz wasn't sure but he wasn't about to complain when he would have done that same.

As soon as he sat down, Prowl sharply turned his whole body towards him.

"The weather is terrible today." Prowl stated. He then proceeded to stare at Jazz expectantly.

"Err yeah sure is." Jazz replied.

There was then an awkward silence as Prowl apparently had no idea what to say after that. Whatever was happening here, the guy was at least trying, so Jazz decided to throw him a bone.

"So how's Bluestreak settling back in?" He asked, guessing that would be a safe subject.

Sure enough, that got Prowl to brighten up.

"She is settling in well. And I am glad that she has found a friend in Bumblebee."

"Me too." Jazz said. Primus knows the kid could do with better influences than the twins. "Hey If this is too personal then you can tell me to frag off but if you don't mind me asking, what did Bluestreak mean that you weren't biologically brother and sister? Because you could've fooled me! And believe me, that aint an easy thing to do."

"As the only other known Praxian still alive, I believed that it was my duty to become her gaurdian after the destruction of Praxus."

Shit. Jazz had been stationed in Iacon at the time but like everyone else left on their planet, he had heard of the Battle of Praxus. Although calling it a battle was a bit disingenuous. A slaughter would be more acurate. Praxus had been a Neutral State up until that point so most of the casualties had been civilian. Many of the remaining neutral cities had joined the Autobots after that but in Jazz's opinion the loss of life hadn't been worth it.

"Well from what I've seen from her records she's grown into a resilient young bot." Jazz told him.

"She should not have needed to become so resilient." Prowl stated, a slight edge to his voice. "She has been through so much for such a young age. Loosing her family, deciding to transition and growing up during a war."

"Still, you must be proud of her?"

"I claim no responsibility for her strength of character. That is all her. But yes I am proud." A rare smile crossed Prowl's face. It soon vanished however when he turned his attention back to Jazz. "Do you have any siblings?"

"I did." Jazz stated before smoothly moving the subject back to Bluestreak. "Is she the reason you're doing... whatever this is?"

"Yes." Prowl sighed. "She is worried I do not talk to anyone whilst she is away and I cannot have her worrying about me whilst on a mission when a distraction could cost her life."

Okay that made sense. What didn't make sense was- "Why did you pick me? I thought you hated me!"

"I do." Prowl replied without hesitation. "But you are the only one interested in talking to me."

"Well how do ya know that for certain? When was the last time you actually tried to make friends with someone?" Jazz asked.

Prowl's eyes took on that blank look once again and judging by the fact that it was taking him this long and he hadn't come up with an answer yet told Jazz that it had probably been a long time.

"Listen if you genuinely to be my friend then I'm more than happy to be! But I don't want you to feel like you have to settle for me because you think I'm you're only option." Jazz told him.

"You are my only option."

Well with that attitude he would be. Still as he had done with Mirage all those years ago now, Jazz decided to give the bot a helping hand.

Glancing around the room, Jazz's gaze landed on Hound and Inferno, two of the friendliest mechs in the entire Autobot army.

Perfect.

"Come on!" Jazz downed the rest of his drink then held out a hand to the commander. After a moment's hesitation, he took it allowing Jazz to lead them over to the central tables.

"Heya mechs! Who's winning?" Jazz asked, dropping Prowl's hand so that he could lean on the comparitivly cooler table.

"Inferno." Hound grumbled.

The bot in question shrugged. "That's only because I've played against my Red so much."

"I've been trying to think outside the box like you're always telling me! But it's hard when you're literally playing with little boxes!" Hound faux whined, pretending to bang his head on the table.

"That's because you're taking it too literally." Jazz explained, patting his friend on the helm. "We ain't confined to black and white boxes in real life!"

Jazz then grabbed one of Inferno's pawns and ate it.

"Well I've gotta admit, I have no idea how to respond to that." Inferno stated whilst Hound banged his head against the table for real.

"I do." Prowl stated, moving another pawn to take its place.

Interested to see where the commander was going with this, Jazz moved Hound's own pawn to steal it back. It wasn't until three moves later that Jazz saw what was about to happen the second before Prowl took his rook.

Jazz grinned.

Oh it was on.

Hound and Inferno had already whittled down each others pieces so it wasn't long until the two commanders were down to two pieces each. Jazz with a knight. Prowl with a rook. And both with their king.

Within that time the lunch hour had truly begun and their little game had drawn quite a crowd. But despite the number of people, the room was oddly quiet. Many of them were probably in shock to see the head of tactics actually in the Rec Room for first time.

Being a spy, Jazz had been aware of the silent swarm starting to form, but Prowl was so engrossed in the game that he hadn't appeared to have noticed.

Jazz smirked to himself, as he placed his knight adjacent  to his opponents king.

Prowl paused, looking up to stare at Jazz with those intelligent blue eyes. Jazz gave nothing away, keeping his smirk only for himself.

Sure enough, two moves later, Prowl defeated Jazz's King and the crowd exploded.

Prowl froze as the mechs surrounded him with applause, singing his praises and clasping his shoulders.

Jazz allowd himself a small chuckle at the sight.

Perhaps Prowl wasn't a complete arsehole. Sure he was partly. But more so he was just extremely socially awkward.

Jazz allowed the crowd another minute to shower their congratulations before coming to Prowl's rescue.

"Alright I know most of ya'lls shifts have started again by now so get ya sorry afts back to work!" Jazz ordered. After a few grumbles and quick dashes for energon, most having forgotten to refuel in their engrossment, soon only the original players remained.

"Thanks for letting us joing in." Jazz grinned. "And sorry about your pawn. I'll make ya a new one!"

"Don't worry about it!" Inferno said, waving him off before perking up. "Hey I was thinking of starting a cyber-chess club. I thought it would be fun for the base! Plus it would be a good excuse to get Red out of their room." He then turned to Jazz with a pleading glint to his optics. "Just promise me you won't eat the peices when playing with them? I think it would cause another episode."

"I promise." Jazz said, holding his hand to his spark. Out of the corner of his eye, he snuck a glance at Prowl.

The Head of Tactics had a slightly blank stare on his face as though what Inferno had just asked them didn't logically make sense.

Jazz gave him a subtle nudge.

Prowl blinked, his mind seemingly now back within this realm of reality as he turned to Inferno.

"Yes, I would like to join your club." Prowl said. Jazz thought that he imagined the corners of Prowl's lips twitch in a smile.

"Thank you so much!" Inferno beamed as they started to pack away. "I'll send you both a rota for matches!"

"Can't wait!" Jazz cried, giving him and Hound a wave as he strolled towards the exit. Prowl followed behind him after a polite nod.

As soon as they stepped outside, the blast proof doors slammed shut behind them, leaving the pair in total silence.

"You let me win." Prowl stated.

"Of course. It's the only way you could win against me." Jazz said, finally letting his smirk free.

"I could have beaten you."

"Prove it." Jazz dared, his smirk now a full on grin.

"I will." Prowl told him, that monotone voice of his expressing his calm confidence.

"I'm looking forward to it." Jazz said, turning down the corridor towards his habsuite, surprised that he actually meant it.

He had nearly reached the end of the corridor when caught Prowl's reply.

"Me too."

The next morning stacked on top of Jazz's mounting pile of daily reports, was a datastick.

Curious, he plugged it into his computer where a voice recording tab popped up.

He pressed play, and was surprised yet touched to hear the words of this mornings reports read aloud by Prowl's steady voice.

[dafry-shenanigans]

I'm late, but at least it's still September so- XD

Happy (late) anniversary to Undertale!! :D

It's been literally years since I even drew any other Undertale character other than SANS, so excuse me if it look off or weird or I'm missing a detail XD

(Also, long rant ahead-)

Undertale was definitely played a big part of my journey to become an artist

The sheer amount of creativity and passion the fandom had really inspired me and pushed my will to create and after years I finally got here!

I've always wanted to finally celebrate one of the anniversary but I never got to (-partially also because I can't draw as well as I do now, but it's mostly because I either forgot or missed it or was just too lazy in general-) but this year I decided to just DO IT while I can and I wanna say my thanks to the fandom for inspiring me

It also helped me through some tough times in the past where I was really depressed (and I didn't even realize or just wasn't sure about it because I've been unconsciously lying to myself and truly believe I was fine and thinking I can handle myself with anything-) and had been bottling up emotions that caused me to be pretty desensitized and pretty emotionless from the outside

But then Undertale gave me hope and help me start to change and also grow mentally and emotionally enough to realize I wasn't doing as well as I hoped and start to accept that fact and be okay with not being fine

Probably the first fandom I ever properly got into and also the longest one I've stayed in compared to others so I really made a lot of memories during that-

Also funfact: I used to rewatch Undertale playthrough SO MUCH that I was pretty confident I memorized the entire Undertale dialogue from start to finish XD

Now though I mostly forgot them lol

[cassiedangerclouds]

Everything Is Green {Krii7y}

DeviantArt: SugarHigh100 (Smii7y)

Twitter: Beaudicea (Kryoz)

~

Trigger Warning!: In this story, I will write about colour blindness. Sorry if I do not get it correct as I myself do not suffer from anything of the sort (I am mildly longsighted). If this may offend you, please don't read. And I would really love to hear from some colour blind people on how I can fix my perception of it up in case I write this type of thing again.

Remember that this is MY interpretation of colour blindness (Protanomaly and Tritanopia), this is how I understood what I read from my research. So please don't take it personally if I get it completely wrong.

In this story, there will also be:

Anxiety Attacks –Based off of the ones I get. Because everyone experiences these differently-

Bullying (mentioned)

Swearing

Self-Deprecating Tendencies

~

Life gets pretty boring when all you see if various shades of green, grey and if you're lucky, violet.

But not the pretty, dark violet everyone else sees. No, it's a dull, kind of light version.

That's just life when your parents are Red-Green and Blue-Yellow colour blind and you pull the short straw on both ends.

No, I couldn't just have one; like not perceiving reds or greens properly. Or maybe become a very rare case and not be able to see blues properly.

No.

I ended up Red-Green in one eye and Blue-Yellow in the other.

So my world is full of dull, warped greens, boring and monotonous blacks and whites, only light grey and maybe, if luck wants to grace me, with violet. I strive for the moments that slightly purply-blue colour pops, I try to capture every detail of the moment so that I can try recreate it.

My parents try to tell me that when I'm older, my eyes may get better.

But I know that they won't.

Magic doesn't exist. If you're born with these things, you live with them forever.

People get weirded out by me. I confuse them. So I learnt to keep to myself. I sit under the trees, on the grass, things that should be blindingly green and are but just a dull blue really.

I got told that my glasses would help me see colours properly, but the kids all picked on me, so I don't wear them anymore.

The glasses were pretty cool I guess, I mean they were blue and red, and the world looked amazing back in fifth grade for the month that I wore them.

It's been five years since I've worn them though, I figured that, if I was picked on in fifth grade, high school would be no saving grace. So they sit in draw at home, collecting dust.

I guess life isn't too bad, I mean, at least I'm not blind. But this is no better.

"Hey. Hey. Can you hear me?" I kept my head down, knowing exactly who it was.

"I asked you a question."

I looked up, not too much, just enough to see if it was who I thought it was, "Yeah. I guess. I'm not deaf." I said, tapping my fingers against the ground.

"I'm not here to pick on you kid. I'm not an arsehole. My friends and I saw you sitting by yourself and I wanted to know if you wanted some company."

This time he caught my full attention, "Like for real? This isn't some big joke that Evan and all that set up to give me hope?" I asked.

He laughed, "Nah dude, honestly, Evan and his friends are a little overrated." He said, "With the exception of like Ryan. Oh and Craig, he hangs out with us sometimes."

I smiled, "I mean, sure. I guess that I could come and sit with you guys." I said.

"Sick." He said, helping me up.

He led me over to a table, not far from where I was sitting, I noticed him stumbling a little.

"Hey fuckers. I'm back." He announced.

"No one gives a fuck John." One of the other males at the table replied, looking up from his phone.

"Fuck you to, bitch." John replied.

"So guys, this is...uh I never asked your name, did I?" John asked.

"Good goin' John. You see a lonely kid, invite him over, but don't even ask his name." another said, this one was for sure in grey.

I snickered a little, looking over the group, of course, looking at everyone wasn't going to help me tell them apart, but it was worth a shot.

"HEY! That sounded a lot better in my head." The grey one stated.

"So, what's your name stranger?" one of the guys closest to me asked.

Come on, just say Jaren. "Lukas." I answer. What the fuck did I say that for?

"Well Lukas. As you could figure out, I'm John. In order around the table from my left. Cameron, Ryan, Craig, Anthony and...where did Crystal go?" John asked for a person I guess was here before he came over to me.

Crazy hair, grey guy, glasses, panda case. I recited in my head, it was the only way I'd actually remember them.

"Brock's nut of a sister came over and requested that her friend join her for a conversation." Anthony, I think, answered.

I frowned, "Cassidy isn't too crazy." I stated, causing everyone to stare at me.

"What. She used to be my..." I trailed off, "Never mind. Why did you invite me over here. I'm just the weird kid."

"We're all weird here." Cameron said, completely ignoring my slip up or at least I hope he did.

"I mean. Probably not. At least compared to me. Nobody is as mutant as I am."  I stated, looking down.

"What. Why? Because your eyes are different a little off centre or your hair is white? Every time I saw you, I always thought you just bleached it, like John does with his." Craig said with a shrug.

I sighed, shaking my head, "Okay. Don't like freak or anything okay John. But like, that jumper you're wearing is probably rad. But it's like literally all green, different shades. But to me. That whole thing is green, except the white bits near your wrists." I always found it was an easy way to explain my problem to people by talking about something that probably wasn't green and trying to tell them that's how I see it. "I can imagine and sort of figure out the colours, because I've done it for so long-"

"What shades of green?" John asked.

I shrugged, "The top is like a lime kind of colour. So it's probably like yellow or somet'in'. Uh, the middle is a dull green. So that's like red or orange, I don't remember because I don't see those colours a lot. The top of the sleeves is like, mint ice cream green. So they're some type of blue." I explained, hoping I got the colours close.

"That's so cool dude." John said.

"How do you live like that? Not being able to see colours. Only green?" Craig asked.

"Well. I mainly see the green spectrum, but I can see light grey, black, white and sometimes, violet. But it's like not the cool dark violet colour, it's more like what I think you would see as a cross between magenta maybe and periwinkle. I can see some shades of yellow, kind of. Most colours appear as greens though." I explained, tapping my fingers against my leg.

"Well, sit down you weird ass human." Cameron said.

I smiled, shaking my head, "Sorry. This was a nice..experience, but I'm just gonna leave." I said, turning around, I walked back towards where I was.

Suddenly I was on the ground, noticeably colder than before.

I looked up and saw my jumper in John's hands.

"Hey, fuck you. Give me my jumper back, it's cold." I demanded, getting off my arse, snatching my jumper out of his hands, slipping it over my head.

"It's a mild fifteen degrees, it's not that cold." Cameron stated.

"Shut up, you Kiwi fuck. We get it that it's fucking freezing in New Zealand." A feminine voice said from behind me.

Cameron pouted, "Piss off you Aussie bitch." He stated.

"Oh, and this is Crystal. Crystal, this is –"

"Hey Luke." Crystal said with a shrug.

"Vibe." I returned, watching as they walked over and sat between Cameron and Ryan.

"Wait- you two know each oth-"

"Whatever, reunions are boring. What did the nut want with you, aye?" Cameron asked, nudging Crystal's shoulder.

Crystal shrugged, "Never say that again. Worst Australian accent ever. Come on Fitzy, you're the closest one to where I'm from and you can't even fake a believable accent." They said.

The group started to banter, giving me the perfect chance to slip away.

I kept walking, not really knowing where I was going, I just knew I had to get away from that group before something bad happened to them because of me.

"Hey. Hey! Lukas, wait up." I heard a call from behind me, recognising John's voice, I picked up my pace, not watching where I was going.

Once more I was on the ground and I noticed that it was because I had bumped into someone. I stood up, "I'm so sorry. I-" my breath hitched.

In front of me stood well known school menace and Evan's right hand man Jonathan.

"I-I'm so so sorry. Uh, Delirious." I said, I could feel myself shaking.

Delirious turned to face me, and I could feel my lungs get heavy.

"Dude. Are you okay?" he asked me, sending me into surprise.

"What?" I managed to squeak out.

"I asked if you were okay? You hit me pretty hard and fell to the floor." Delirious said.

I shrugged, "I'm uh. Fine. Just yeah. Sorry." I stammered, my breathing starting to even out.

"Lukas, why are you-" I heard John stop dead, his boots squeaking as he skidded on the hallway floor. "Fuck."

"Well, if you're okay. Then I'm just gonna walk away." Delirious said, walking away.

I was still shaking, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.

"Dude, are you okay?" I heard John was near me now.

But I still didn't open my eyes, I shakily pointed at my bag, "Pap- Pap- Bag" I started coughing.

"Pap Bag. Pap. Paper Bag! Oh, get the paper out of your bag!" John figured out, quickly flipping the latch on my bag and handing me the almost empty bag.

"I don't understand how this will help you." John said.

I cupped my hand around the opening, placing it near my mouth, breathing in and out into the bag.

My breathing went back to normal after five minutes and the coughing stopped.

I moved it away and drew in a deep breath.

"What the fuck was that?" John asked, making me painfully aware that he was still there.

I opened my eyes to see him standing in front of me, "That was an anxiety attack you fucking idiot. Holy shit. I could've-no-probably would've passed out if you hadn't have helped me. Jesus, I haven't had one that bad in a while." I stated, half talking to myself.

"Your welcome. I mean, I don't know how to respond." John said.

I smiled, "Thank you. But seriously. I thought that Jonathan was a bully. He didn't even threaten me. I think a lot of people just spread rumours and one rumour made it out and became popular saying that the BBS are bullies. They're probably just a bunch of misunderstood kids. I- I'm sorry for walking off." I said.

"Nah dude. My friends can be a little much sometimes, even for me." He said.

"Oh. Okay. Well, I'm still sorry. It was a good thing you did you know, asking me to join you guys. Your friends don't seem to bad. I'd probably fit in with you all. I feel like a big dou-"

I felt something warm against my lips for a split second and then it was gone.

"You talk too much." John stated.

My face started heating up, "What the fuck? We haven't even known each other for a day. John you're fucking weird," I stated, pulling my sleeve over my hand, wiping my mouth.

He laughed, "You enjoyed it. Don't deny it." He said.

Maybe I did. It doesn't matter, I don't even know the guy. "No I didn't." I retorted, but I knew my body language said otherwise.

"You're a bad lyre Lukas. You're red as a firetruck." He teased.

"Shut up you fucking prick." I muttered.

He rolled his eyes, "Come on. Come and hang out with me and my band of Misfits." He said.

I sighed, "Fine." I said and we walked back towards his friends, maybe a bit closer than previously.

But seriously, who the fuck kisses someone they just met? Like what even is that?

"Someone who has a set." John replied.

"Fuck. I said that out loud. Sorry." I said.

He stopped and turned to face me, "Stop fucking apologising. You've done nothing wrong." He said.

And that's when I noticed one small thing, well not really small thing, but it was something that would this was a moment I'd never forget.

~

Everything is green.

But his hair is my favourite colour.

Because it is violet.

~

Authors Note:

Hi guys!

Yes, I am a weirdo. I would've made it John's eyes, except that in this case it wouldn't work because John's eyes are blue and for them to be violet, they'd have to be yellow. Which just isn't realistic.

Anyway, that's it.

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Ava

Grace: you okay babes???! Ava: The furthest from without actually being 💀 Grace: Oh my god what even?! aren't you at that uni thing? Ava: For a few more hours yet, give me strength Ava: Last night was Ava: nah Grace: last night was a sorority girl horror 📽🎞 or like ??? Ava: Allegedly a thing but I've yet to see anyone rocking a skinhead without it being a Choice™ Ava: So, everyone else did go to the 📽🎞 last night but I pulled a sickie 'cos Ava: well, that can do one as a concept but also Ava: Are you sure you even want this? It's a whole saga, like 🙄😫 Grace: duh x 10000 Grace: there's nothing anyone can tell me about mean girls 🔪💔 we can skip 📽🎞 when I've IRL lived it Grace: & obvs! talk to me I'm BEYOND concerned Ava: There are no mean girls Ava: and I think the shit I pulled is beyond a Regina level even Grace: UM no way are you casting yourself 👑 thanks! what happened?! Ava: Sorry but you can try and come for the 👑 after I tell you Ava: So they get current pupils to show you around, do the tour, answer questions, do the whole programme with you, right? Ava: Must be good extra credit or whatever, anyway Ava: There's this guy, and the whole time there's this total...vibe, you know? And I'm not delusional or sad like that, its an actual thing but I know him, know of him Ava: so I know why I should just ignore it, but instead when everyone is out, I DM him Grace: excuse you bitch I'm literally reformed but like putting that ASIDE cos this is so much more IMPORTANT!😱😱 Grace: so are we talking a phoneful of regret or IRL walk of shame? Ava: We talked for a while, so I have literal evidence it wasn't just one-sided but truly do not wanna be that girl but like, I swear Ava: anyway, we did go out, properly and it was Ava: so good Ava: but then he had to go and now I have to die Grace: duh it was 😍😍😍 I know what a vibe means Grace: he has a gf yeah? honey we've ALL done it don't even stress he's obvs not that into her Ava: No its Ava: more complex Ava: there's Ava: well, he's married Ava: but he's not as old as that makes him sound but yeah, clearly quite into her Grace: Ew! What's with everyone getting 💍👰 Grace: if Janis gets proposed to I'm kmsing Grace: it doesn't sound that complex though babes, don't let this family fool you, 💔💍 is such a thing™ Ava: Can't see it myself Ava: they are cute though Ava: of course but I'm not out here doing that myself, that's Buster's bread and butter, not mine Ava: they have kids as well, two Grace: 🙄🤢 Grace: totally but we literally NEVER have to tell her or them that shh Grace: well that explains it 🤰👰💍 he probs doesn't even love her Ava: My lips are sealed Ava: One of them is like...6 or something and the other is a baby so there's like no excuse Ava: It didn't come to anything more than a kiss but I'm mortified Grace: 6? How old is he?! Ava: Again, not as old as that makes him sound Ava: 22 ish, in his last year Grace: THANK GOD! I was literally picturing like a hot 40 Ava: Somehow that would be less complicated Ava: Unless he was a friend of my parents or something but not trying to hit every cliche before I even start Uni Grace: UGH! remember when I went to the fair with that lad who turned out to be 19 & everyone lost it like I was being groomed 🙄 Grace: such a drama Grace: this seriously doesn't sound that bad Grace: either he's bored of her or having his 🍰 & 😋 Grace: who stopped it at 😘😘? Ava: Well, he did turn out to be a creep didn't he Ava: but he could've been a 15 year old creep as easily, I see your point Ava: He did Ava: his phone kept going off Ava: it must've been her Grace: yeah & like I totally worked it out for myself from reading the vibe Grace: same as you last night Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: did he answer? did you literally have to sit there 🤐!!! Ava: I think I might've got the vibe seriously wrong Ava: well, no Ava: I don't know Ava: we were in a club, he couldn't Ava: but we left real quick and he hasn't looked at me today so that's been fun Grace: oh girl please Grace: trust, as someone who has gotten the vibe wrong WAY more times than we need to admit outside of this convo, you so didn't Grace: he's having a freakout, we've ALL been there too, yeah? Ava: Clearly Ava: 😂 Ava: Oh God Ava: I just need to pretend this never happened and peace Grace: come over Grace: we'll go out & make some new drama happen Grace: soon as you do, you'll know if he's bothered Ava: Sounds good Ava: If I didn't have two other Unis to hit before Summer officially starts 🙄 Grace: OMG you're so extra Ava: Rude 😂 Ava: Not as if I can go here now, is it? Ava: I'm burning through options, girl Grace: ILY for it 💜 Grace: did you wanna go there for real? Ava: Not hugely Ava: it was in my top 5 but its definitely not 🥇 Grace: 🤷💅 Grace: it was obvs a 🏆💋 so Ava: seriously Ava: though I'm probably gonna find out that he's made time for every girl on this program Grace: did you pick up on any other vibes? Ava: I don't think so Ava: He did say other girls were flirting with him though Grace: 😂 boys always say that Grace: literally will have been hitting refresh waiting on you 💬 Ava: Or, they really were and that was a subtle dig that I just ignored Ava: 🤡🤡 Grace: ugh don't Grace: nobody's looked hotter the morning after babes Grace: he'd be the 🤡 Ava: Minus the HP🗲 scar Ava: idk where that came from, which doesn't bode well for how trashed I must've been Grace: if he was as wasted maybe he doesn't remember & that's why he blanked you cos everything is Grace: 👋 been there Ava: I wish Ava: like I said, we know each other Grace: do you know his 👰? Ava: 😶 Ava: Just kill me now Grace: has he posted anything? Ava: About how much he 💕 his wife and kids? Ava: Fuck knows Grace: well yeah or idk how wasted he was Grace: anything to go on Ava: His 👰 would not approve Grace: if he doesn't have like a private snap he's no 💔 Ava: Wasn't my first question Ava: Probably does but bit late to ask now Grace: you literally could Grace: cringe but no more cringe than running into him playing happy families when you go get coffee Ava: I'm just gonna leave it Ava: Not a moment too soon Grace: 👌👌💜 Ava: When the alcohol leaves my system my head will be less 🤯 Ava: Standard Grace: his too though Grace: maybe he'll come to you Grace: 🤞 yeah or 🤞 no? Ava: I don't know what I want Ava: or feel about any of it Ava: It's better to just assume nah, a pleasant surprise is always better than disappointment Grace: mhmm Ava: Shut up Ava: I'm confused and hungover, I don't know anything 🙄😏 Grace: no shade Ava: I know Ava: This is too extra Ava: even from me, right Grace: you can wear the 👑 until I earn it back Grace: cos duh who's more extra Grace: me, this hoe Ava: 😂 I'm ready for it Grace: you gotta let me have it there's no 😘💖😍 in my 🔮 Ava: Not even a little? Grace: there was a little but it got too much Grace: too close to being like Grace: I can't Grace: I'm out Ava: I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be, honestly Grace: makes me feel like I'm cracking up Grace: no thanks Ava: Preaching to the converted today Grace: 🙌 Ava: I'll definitely come over some point this Summer though Grace: YAY Grace: I so need you Ava: I think me and the 'rents are going the first two weeks, then I'm going with my friends the last two Ava: so sometime in the middle to play with Grace: ugh if only my mum and dad were organised about anything ever Grace: god knows when or where they'll spring a hol 🙄🙄 Ava: All fun and games Ava: least you get more space these days, I guess Grace: if they're gonna be annoying I'll just bring you with 🤷 Ava: Three holidays would be a record Grace: hot older lad who?! 😂 Grace: Brazil is on another level Ava: If there's sun and sea, I'm happy Grace: you'll be sooo 😊 Ava: 😘 Grace: 💜 Ava: I did not think that would be such a rant Ava: IOU a coffee, I'll ping you the funds rn forreal Grace: As if! like I've NEVER done you that way Grace: shhh Ava: It's done Ava: Consider it a reminder we need a proper catch up when my head is less fried Grace: 👌👌 fine Ava: Don't be mad, it is essential some good happens today Grace: It's fine babes, promise Ava: Good Ava: I better try and finish this essay thing Ava: Or at least make a better start Grace: or at least get yourself a coffee & put some lipstick on Ava: Cheers, I know I look clapped 😂 Grace: shut up Grace: you do not! Ava: I wouldn't wanna chat to me either tbh Grace: Girl, stop Grace: this convo has been wild & I'm living Ava: I meant him, not you 😉 Ava: Only subjected socials to one pic, like Grace: well duh he wants to kiss you again not have a chat Grace: if you wanna talk you'll have to Grace: there's only one kind of convo lads ever start Ava: Hmm Ava: Have better luck with this essay than thinking of something worth saying Grace: what do you wanna say? Grace: like if you could just Ava: Christ Ava: firstly, what the fuck? Grace: he can't shade you for starting there Ava: Though I initiated it so, ugh Grace: he didn't have to go along with any of it Grace: his wife & kids were literally waiting at home for him so Grace: you like deserve to know if there are other girls or not Ava: What's more insane though Ava: asking around every girl on this course, or asking him Ava: There are definite drawbacks either way from where I'm sitting Grace: you said you know him, how much does he lie? Grace: asking him will be more than cringe if you can't believe a word, it'll be pointless Ava: I don't know him like that but Ava: I suppose I've heard that he's a typical lad in most regards so Grace: yeah Ava: but that's from one source so Ava: who's to say they're 100% reliable Grace: right Grace: I'll stalk the other girls, obvs am insane so Ava: No Ava: 'cos then I'll have to tell you who he is Ava: and it'll all get out of hand Grace: OMG do I know him??! Ava: How would you? Ava: 'course not Grace: then why does it matter if you tell me or not? Ava: I'll sort it myself Grace: Ava Grace: is it already out of hand? Ava: That'd depend on who you asked too Grace: I'm asking you Ava: I've got this Grace: promise Ava: 🤞 Grace: 👌