#honestly could cry to every single one of her songs

[profundcherrylady]

SINGLE DAD!SAE ITOSHI

A/N: This isn't my usual content, but I was thinking about this scenario and I had huge baby fever so I couldn't NOT write it. I love Sae too much y'all. Also sorry for any spelling mistakes english ain't my first language.

Warnings: Mentions of death and grieving, Sae tries forcing his daughter to either eat her vegetables or go to school hungry (he doesn't go through with it)(this is a very brief scene but it could still be triggering to some people). STILL MOSTLY FLUFF I SWEAR.

Contents: Sae being a girl dad fr, y'all can't change my mind on this one, also Rin being an uncle. That's pretty much it. A little ooc (Rin mostly)

"Papaaaa" Mao complained, her voice echoing across the house and making Sae drop the dishes he was washing and walk across the house into her room to see what was going on... this time. Although he had a pretty good idea given her recent tantrums.

"Can't sleep?" he inquired, but he knew the answer as soon as she saw her curling up in her little bed and pouting, her doe teal eyes looking up to him as if to give him pity. "No, Mao, you cannot come sleep in my room."

"Why not?!"

"You've already been sleeping there all week... come on, you're a big girl, you can sleep on your own room."

"But I wanna be with you..." he sighed. It had seemed she had inherited his stubbornness, because sometimes it felt like there was just no way of making her change her mind when she was set on something. He leaned against the door a little, thinking about what to say that may change her mind.

"I know I was away for a while the last couple of weeks and I understand you missed me, but I can't have this conversation with you every single night."

"Why do you go away in the first place..."

"You know why, I have to for work." he countered, "And do not ask me why I can't bring you along, we've talked about this countless of times before. I don't go away for fun. If I bring you with me, you'll want to go everywhere with me and then you'll get fussy and mad because I'll be working all the time, or worse, you'll get bored to death in the hotel. Believe me, staying here is best for you when I go on business trips."

"But I just wanna be with you!!" his eye almost twitched in annoyance at the sight; he knew that tone of voice all too well. It was another tantrum coming his way, but still, he tried to remain calm for her sake.

"You're with me now."

"So can I sleep in your room?"

"No." then she threatened to start crying. He let out a low, defeated huff, holding back the urge to roll his eyes. She just wasn't giving up, was she? Pushing himself off the doorframe, he looked back at her before speaking. "Fine. Come on."

"This is the last time." he knew damn well that was a fat lie, but he still had to at least pretend to be firm. She would grow up to be a spoiled child otherwise, or at least that's what he was used to tell himself.

The little girl beamed, quickly jumping out of bed and running towards her father. She hopped with her arms up towards him asking to be carried, to which he complied. He wrapped his arms around her small frame and lifted her up, watching as she clung onto him as if he just came back from war or something. Could he really blame her, though? She had lost her mother and he was away all the time; it would be strange if she wasn't feeling lonely.

"Papa, sing me a song." Sae reconsidered his life decisions for a moment there, not gonna lie, but how could he honestly say no to those pleading eyes?

"Fine..." he sighed, his voice soft and low as he began humming whatever song he could think of on the top of his head. Still keeping a secure hold on her, Sae began rocking his daughter to further lure her to sleep. He held her with one arm so that he could close the door of her room, the soft click assuring him that everything was in order, and then started walking a few steps towards his.

By this point, little Mao was sound asleep on his arms, and he almost chuckled at the thought of his daughter refusing to sleep until she was with him. He carefully opened the door a few meters away and walked quitely to the bed, trying his best to not wake up the sleeping child on his arms, and set her down to rest. Once tucked in and comfortable, he let out a sigh of relief. Finally, the brat was asleep and he could be at peace. She could be so clingly and energetic sometimes... not that he cared that much, even though her restlessness was exhausting, it showed that she felt safe and loved enough to be her enthusiastic self around him without any regrets.

It was weird to him, like an unfamiliar sense of pride that surged at the sight of her young daughter bouncing around and playing endlessly. He would often look at her and think about how different her personality was from his, and how much it reminded him of her mother. Sae tried not to though, as he despised comparing his daughter to his late wife over and over again, but sometimes he just couldn't help it. From the way she smiled to the color of her hair... they were just so alike each other. He still kept all the memories from her close to his heart, which in a way made him feel guilty. Sae knew just how much his daughter yearned for a maternal figure; someone to talk to and educate her about girly stuff that he may not understand. He would watch her staring at the other kids with their moms and act like it really wasn't a big deal to avoid making him feel like he wasn't enough, but Sae knew better. It was obvious to him that his daughter absolutely adored him, and he was sure she thought he was enough, but he also knew that she missed having a mom. She missed her mom. He missed her mom too.

Normally he would avoid talking about it. It had been hard enough trying to explain to this small child that her mom wasn't coming home that night, or ever, let alone process his own grief at the loss of the only woman he once loved. If he cried, he had to do it when his daughter wasn't looking, because the last thing he needed to add to his worries was worrying his daughter to the point of avoiding everything that may set off a bad mood on him. It wasn't her fault, he just felt his heart break everytime he took her home and she pointed at a framed picture of her mom exclaiming 'Mama!' Or 'Hey mama', 'I'm back, mama', 'Miss you, mama'. He would hold back his tears and take a deep breath whenever she tried asking if she could visit her mom in the place she was at (as he initially had told her it was a place where she couldn't come back), having to explain carefully that she couldn't. She would get mad and ask why a bunch of times, but he didn't have the heart to tell her 'She's dead' straight up. He really tried to just give her an excuse like that she was sleeping forever or something, as if she was in the sleeping beauty, but then she just began asking if a true love kiss from him would wake her up. She was a child, after all, and she hadn't quite grassped the concept of death yet.

He let himself watch her sleep for a few moments, sinking in the stillness of the night. Taking care of a young child made this moments rare, and he treasured whatever rest he could get. He reached out to the nightstand and picked up the heater remote, pressing a couple of buttons to turn it on a bit; just enough to keep the room warm, as he knew nights at that time of the year could become fairly cold and he didn't want his daughter getting sick. And as expected, she got very evidently more comfortable as the room became warmer, falling into a deeper state of sleep. She had only carried her favorite bunny plushie from her room to hold onto and apparently that was all she needed to fall asleep. He plopped himself onto the bed as well and fell asleep almost instantly from the exhaustion of the day, not even caring about closing the door or the half-washed dishes he left on the sink or even the fact that he hadn't even changed his clothes. He was DONE for the day.

Although, the next day he most definitely regretted it.

He had to wake up early and finish cleaning all the mess his daughter had left throughout the day, plus now he had to make breakfast, wake her up and get her to school. Sae was a rather organized person and he would normally not find himself in this type of situation, but it seemed like ever since he became a father he was running short of time for everything no matter how much he tried to plan in advance.

"Morning." Sae greeted his still somewhat sleepy child as she yawned and climbed the chair infront of her to eat. "Slept well?"

"Mhm..." Mao mumbled, rubbing her eyes with one arm while she still clung to her favorite plushie with the other. He placed a plate on the table for her and then one for him, along with his usual morning coffee and the only damned brand of juice that she liked for some reason and that he had to drive for an hour to buy.

"Come on, eat. You have preschool today."

"Can't I skip? It's snowing so muuuuch." the kid dropped her head onto the table and sighed, clearly displeased about going to school.

"Apparently it's not snowing enough to cancel your classes. Now, please, eat."

He watched intently as his daughter took a close look at the food, pouting and feeling now rather down since she wasn't allowed to skip school. She took a couple of bites of her breakfast and she had a few sips of her juice, then she pushed her plate a little to indicate she was done.

"Thanks for the food." she was about to get off the table when she was interrupted by her father's stern voice.

"Not so fast. There is no way you're full with just that."

"Yeah I am..." such an obvious lie.

"Why aren't you eating? And I want the truth."

She pouted, AGAIN, before reluctantly giving an answer.

"It has green peppers on it..." and there you have it; this was the real challenge of Sae's day.

"I told you, they're good for you."

"But they're gross! Can I eat something else please?" this is Sae's life now. Even winning a soccer match was easier than getting his daughter to eat her vegetables.

"Mao, I spent a lot of time making breakfast for you, can you please finish your food? You still need to get ready to go to school. I don't have any time to make you more breakfeast; I have to go work."

"But... I really don't like them... please?" that was the last straw for him. He didn't mean to sound cruel, but he was tired and didn't know what else to say.

"Mao Itoshi, you're staying on this table until the last bite of food on your plate is GONE. If you don't, you'll go to school hungry and I'm not making you anything else after I pick you up. You are eating this one way or another." he almost instantly regretted the harsh tone of voice he had used, as he saw his kid's eyes begin watering. He passed his hands through his face in exasperation, took a deep breath, and walked around the table to pick her up. He exhaled, trying his best to remain calm before speaking to her again, as he could feel Mao's tears on his clothes and the little shudders she made at the effort to hold back tears. Sae patted and passed his fingers through his daughter's hair in a poor attempt to soothe her, but the damage was already done. She was holding thay bunny plush in her arms like a lifeline. "Sorry, okay? I didn't mean to be so hard on you. I woke up early to make your breakfast and you just took a few bites of it... I got frustrated, but that wasn't a reason to force you to eat something you don't like. I'm just saying, green peppers aren't the end of the world; they can be tasty."

"I guess I can eat them..." he sighed.

"No, you'll just be eating them out of guilt. You shouldn't do things you don't want to just because you're afraid of someone's bad mood." he thought for a moment. Mao eating the green peppers wasn't the ideal result now, she was hurt and vulnerable and that would only teach her that she should fear and comply which wouldn't end well on the long run... still, he did spend his time making her breakfast and didn't want it to go to waste. "Tell you what. I'll eat the green peppers for today, if you promise you'll at least try them next time, and I'll find another recipe to try to make them taste better. Sound good?" she nodded, still hiding her face from him by pressing it against his clothes. "Good. Now, I really don't have more time to make you more breakfast, so let's pick out the stuff you don't like just this once, and only this one time. I seriously need you to try to learn to eat your vegetables."

"...'kay."

"Let's hurry then; you still need to get ready for school."

Sae for sure was missing having some help on the raising of his daughter. He would never admit it though, he would try and pretend parenting was the easiest thing in the world when in reality he was fighting for his life everyday trying to shape this little human into a good person, and refraining from helping her while she failed at tying her shoe countless of times before admiting she didn't know how to do it (this is why he only buys her velcro).

He left the tiny sparkling pink shoes on the ground as he heard the doorbell, then looked at the clock hanging from the wall nearby. 8:14am, who in the world was it this early? Sae indicated his daughter to stay still on the couch before walking towards the door, and right after seeing the face on the other side he furrowed his eyebrows in surprise.

"Rin? What are you doing here?" his little brother then proceeded to push him aside and step inside as if it were his own house.

"Move, I didn't come here for you." his eyes traveled the room and eventually fell on the little girl sitting on the couch, and in a blink of an eye he had lifted the little girl up and hugged her tightly. Despite her surprise, she could obviously recognize her only favorite uncle.

To everyone's surprise, Rin absolutely adored his niece. Sure he had problems with his older brother but he didn't have to take it out on an innocent child that had done nothing to him. Besides, she was so adorable and bubbly and so NOT like Sae. Rin sometimes would stare at her in amazement, wondering how it was possible that this was truly Sae's spawn; yet the teal eyes and lower lashes were unmistakable. She was an Itoshi alright.

"Umclw Rwin!" her voice came out muffled, as she was currently being burried on his chest, but the sentiment was there.

"What are you doing here?" Sae was straight to the point, not caring about his cold tone of voice this time. And he says he doesn't have favorites.

"I just came back from my morning run." the younger Itoshi explained, still not looking at him in the eye. "Thought I'd stop by to say hello."

"To her."

"Yes, I didn't want to talk to your pathetic-"

"Language."

"Shut up."

"Don't hug her when you're still sweaty and gross, she just took a bath." he continued scolding Rin, earning a groan of frustration from him.

"Your dad is so annoying." his niece giggled at the obvious beef between his dad and uncle. She didn't really understand it but it was funny from her point of view. "Such lukewarm rules he has."

"Lukewarm!" she repeated.

"Rin, stop teaching her those words. Mao, say bye to your uncle; we have to get you to school."

"Awwwwww, can he come with?"

"Fine, whatever will get you to actually go to school. Rin, let's go."

"Don't boss me around." he complained, walking with his niece on his arms towards the door and setting her down. "Let's put on our shoes, shall we?" he took the shoes Sae had set down earlier and helped the kid put them on with ease. Of course, he had dealt with this countless of times before. Sae had the bad habit of using him as a free nanny for whenever he had to travel, which was often.

"Uncle Rin, how do you go running with all this snow? It's so cold!"

"When you run, you sweat and then it doesn't feel so cold." he finished tying the kid's shoelaces and took her by the hand, then Sae picked up a scarf wrapped it carefully around her neck.

"Don't take it off." he warned, watching as she began squirming to get away from the scratchy scarf. "It's cold out, I don't want you getting sick."

"Okay, papa." he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before taking her free hand and not so subtly making Rin let go of her as he finally opened the front door. They were quickly hit by the cold winter air, and Mao shuddered a little at the sudden change in temperature.

Stil, Sae made sure his hand was holding hers tight and that she kept herself on his field of vision. There would be someday in the future where she wouldn't need him to hold her hand; he had to treasure these moments and not let her go while he still could.

[girlokwhatever]

omg would love if you could do famous!reader x paige hcs!!!

paige bueckers x famous!reader hcs

‧₊♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧₊˚ෆ paige with a famous gf,,

— you met paige on social media

- she’s literally your biggest fan

- you posted a video with the caption: ‘when she’s blonde and tall and plays basketball’ and it went VIRALLL (everyone tagged her)

— she ending up reaching out to you and the rest is history

— before you started dating she would always repost your videos or pictures whenever you posted

— you kind of dabble in everything (singing, acting, modeling, etc.) and she really respects that about you

- she calls it your ‘hustle’

— you were honestly a fan of hers too, all her tiktoks and edits would be on your feed

— no one even asks who her celeb crush is anymore cause she always says you (lowkey always has)

— you both hard launch each other

— paige loves your music (i’m imagining r&b but you do you boo) and will play it for everyone in any place at any time

- at church?? doesn’t matter: “have you heard my girlfriend’s new song?”

— you took her to her first ever premiere as your plus one

- had way too much fun together during the interviews

— you have to media train her because one time she leaked your new song on kk’s live

— everyone she knows will ask for her to get them an autograph

— her mom is a massive fan and kinda freaks out when she meets you (paige is embarrassed but you think it’s sweet)

— has watched every single film/show you’re in and saves every magazine cover you’re on

— defo gets a little jealous if you have to kiss someone else on screen

- you have to tell her beforehand so she can mentally prepare

— sometimes she’ll get insecure if the media ships you with someone else, but they rarely do it cause everyone knows the two of you are locked in

— she’s absorbed all your fans into her cult

— sometimes she’ll troll everyone and make up the craziest lie/rumor and watch everyone post about it

- “guys we got married last may”

— at first your demanding schedule was a bit of a problem cause you hardly ever saw each other

- you prioritize her more now, but there’s still sometimes where you’ll have to go months without being in-person together (you both have mental breakdowns)

— she always listens when you tell her celeb drama (she’s so into it)

- you make her promise she won’t tell anyone

— you’ve definitely made some songs about her

- they always make her cry cause they’re so beautiful and sweet

— paparazzi anytime the two of you go out (they do catch some cute candid pics though)

— she’ll be at EVERY award show to cheer you on, no doubt

— you get her free tickets to concerts cause of connections

— saves every edit she sees of you (movie scenes, media moments, concerts, you name it)

— sometimes you ask her for inspiration (she’s your muse fr)

— when you see each other again for the first time in awhile… be prepared. she’s bombarding you with kisses, smothering you with hugs, and never lets you leave her bed

— will cry if you ever have to do a sex scene (she prays it never happens)

— she makes sure EVERYONE knows you’re dating.

- she’ll wear shirts with your face on them

— will post the craziest off-guard and bts pictures of you and the fans go craazzzyy

— “so.. how does your next movie end? is it like-“

- “i’m not telling you so don’t even try.”

₊˚ෆ.ೃ࿐༉‧₊˚.𐙚⋆⭒˚｡⋆

i feel like maybe i ate this down????!

i had so many ideas for this request you guys

hope you enjoyed!! 😋

[creepyclothdoll]

I set Angel Free

All of this is gonna sound pretty mean but let me preface this by saying that this girl, Angel, thought she was God’s gift. And I mean that in the most literal sense. Like she’d literally introduce herself by saying, 

“My name is Angel, because I’m a gift from Heaven.”

She’d say it with this smile that was so fake and sickly-sweet you could taste your teeth rotting just looking at it. All her mannerisms were stolen from disney movies, like how she’d talk in this high-pitched little girl voice that she thought made her seem so cute. Like, yeah, yeah, you’re supposed to be nice to people like that, but it was so hard to tolerate her. 

So we messed with her. It wasn’t because she was in a wheelchair, I wanna make that clear. I don’t have a problem with people in wheelchairs. Just Angel. You’d feel the same way if you knew her. Honestly everyone did. 

She literally didn’t know where babies came from. Like one time my friends were joking about having Nick Jonas’s babies and Angel was like “how would you make the baby his?” And we had to literally explain to her where babies come from and ask where she thought they came from. She said, and I quote,

“When a mommy makes a very special wish, and gives it a special kiss and sends it to God, God cuts a piece of Heaven in the shape of a baby and wraps it in the wish and sends it back to the mommy, to grow up and be loved and kept safe on the earth forever.”

This was, by far, the stupidest thing I ever heard in my entire life. So of course I responded by telling her her mommy was lying to her, most likely because she was a whore. 

This made everyone at lunch laugh really hard because her mom, Ms CJ, was the school’s frumpiest old cat lady, and she literally had those 80’s coke-bottle glasses like that guy from Trailer Park Boys and the idea of her getting sexed up for dollar bills was enough to make you piss yourself laughing. 

Angel started crying and doing that annoying pouting thing. Frankly I doubt she even knew what a whore was, just that it was bad. I think she wanted to storm off, but it’s not like she could go very far. Which I pointed out as well, to uproarious laughter. 

Okay again, I don’t have an issue with people in wheelchairs. It was just really easy to mess with her. But this was the incident that, for some reason, made everyone think of me as the Designated Angel Watchman. Like, any time Angel did anything weird and cringey, everyone would look at me like they were Jim from the Office and I was the camera. And then if I didn’t say something funny about it, they’d get all disappointed. But when I did say something funny, it became the new Angel Thing Of The Week that everyone would be saying in the halls between classes, and I’d feel like a genius. Did it go too far sometimes? Sure. But that’s not my fault. All Angel ever had to do was act like a normal person for once and it all would have stopped. 

Angel was homeschooled her whole life until seventh grade, which is probably why she was so weird. 

I wanna be clear– she wasn’t like, mentally disabled or anything like that. That would make me look pretty bad. She was just weird. She was always singing by herself– pop songs, disney princess songs, sometimes songs in japanese from anime. She was convinced she had the best voice in the class, and flaunted it all the time like she thought we were gonna be impressed. She wore these huge ugly cat sweaters with glitter and frills every single day. 

And any time we watched a movie in class, she’d laugh this awful snickering long laugh at ANY joke and then bawl her goddamn eyes out if there was even a little bit of a sad part. It was so annoying!

She refused to do anything outside her comfort zone– no scary stories, no new foods, no games she’d never played before. She turned her nose up at anything unfamiliar.

So let me be clear: Angel deserved most of what we did to her. 

But she didn’t deserve what I did that last day.

Before I met Angel, I thought Ms CJ was okay. After, though, I realized she was batshit. She only let Angel come to our school for seventh grade because she knew she’d be Angel’s homeroom teacher and that she’d be able to flit in and coddle her throughout the day. Ms CJ was Angel’s constant guardian, which should be humiliating for anyone who has shame, but Angel loved the attention. She’d beg Ms CJ to stay with her longer every time she popped in during class. And that sucked, because I couldn’t say shit about anything cringe Angel did when Ms CJ was around, so I missed a lot of really good opportunities to mess with her. 

Ms CJ always sat with her daughter at lunch, which was honestly bad parenting because there was no way Angel would ever be able to make any friends like that. Ms CJ never let Angel join the rest of us for recess. Or for field trips. Once during a group project in French class, as a joke, I invited Angel to a made-up party in the woods. Angel replied by saying,

“I can’t go if it’s in the woods, silly! My mommy doesn’t let me outside!”

She said this like it was the most normal thing in the world for her, so I asked some clarifying questions. She explained, in her girly sing-song voice, that she’s not ever allowed to be outside for more than a few seconds at a time, and only when her mommy is there to hold her hand. 

“My mommy doesn’t want me to get lost,” she said.

“It’s not like you can run away,” I joked.

“I can run,” Angel replied, pouting. “Look.” She kicked her legs slightly. I heard the clack of chains. 

That was the first time I ever noticed that Angel was shackled around her ankles. 

“I run all the time at home,” Angel bragged. “I run alllll over, over all the rooms. I wish I could run here too, but it’s too dangerous. The windows,” she added, like that would clarify it. I was baffled. So she didn’t even need the wheelchair.

“Um, why are you chained? Are you like, under house arrest or something?” I asked.

“No. My mommy just doesn’t want me to get lost. She’s the only one with the key.”

“Your mommy sounds like a psycho. You should call the cops,” I replied.

The French teacher overheard her crying and she got me sent to the principal’s office again. But I swear this time I wasn’t being smart or anything, I was genuinely freaked out for her. I told my friends, who all agreed with me that it was weird. But I guess I hadn’t been the first one to notice the chains. The others who had assumed it was because Angel was like, prone to fits or something. That made sense for Angel, but it still made me feel weird and didn’t sit right.

My mommy doesn’t want me to get lost.

I started to feel sorry for her. She was still weird and annoying, but she was weird and annoying because her mom was out of her mind and wouldn’t let her be a normal kid. How was she supposed to learn to be normal if she couldn’t even go outside, for god’s sake? 

I still messed with Angel when she did weird stuff like quote anime characters in class and bring stuffed animals to school. But if it was ever just her and me, I was nice to her and asked her stuff about her life. 

Her favorite movie was The Little Mermaid. No, she had never been to summer camp. Her favorite time of the week was church. She disliked onions and wanted to be a vegetarian except that her mom was very insistent about her getting enough protein in her diet. She loved those Warrior cat books and wanted to be a veterinarian someday. She didn’t have a dad. Ms CJ took the shackles off her ankles only once they were inside their house and all the doors and windows were closed and locked. That was also when Ms CJ took the locked metal bar off of her chair so she could get up. The bar went over her waist and prevented her from standing. She wore those big ugly cat sweaters every day so we wouldn’t see it. Her mom didn’t want people to know about her special condition, which, as far as I could tell, was all made-up. Any time I asked about her “condition,” she’d just say some stuff about being a very special heaven baby or whatever.

“Do you ever think about running away?” I asked finally. “Why don’t you just… leave?”

She looked shocked.

“Of course not!” she said. “I love my mommy. Where would I even go?” She shuddered visibly. 

The shudder pissed me off. I blew up at her and called her a whiny scaredy baby until she cried, and I got sent to the principal again. 

 She didn’t even want to be normal. That’s what pissed me off the most. 

It was springtime, and the snow was finally mostly gone. I’d been in Mr Bevends’ science class before, so I knew what to expect that day– first real nice day of spring was always a “class outside” day. We’d go out and look at moss and leaf buds and stuff and he’d talk about natural changes during the season. It was all a big excuse for us to get outside– no one liked it more than Mr Bevends himself. He was so excited to announce we were taking class outside, he didn’t even notice Angel’s face go stark white as he led the rest of the class out the doors.

“I– I can’t–” she stuttered, but I interrupted her.

“It’s the most beautiful day in months,” I said. “It’s a perfect day. You’ll love it.”

“I’m not allowed,” she whispered, embarrassed. 

“You wanna be a baby forever?” I said. “Come on. You’ve never broken a single rule in your life. Live a little.”

After a long moment, Angel nodded. She followed me out the back doors of the school, onto the sidewalk. I walked next to her for awhile. She looked scared, but also fascinated by the dripping icicles from the roof gutter above us, and the ice-blue sky above, and the rows of black trees stretching up into the air. 

“It’s cold,” she said. 

“Yeah, that happens when you’re outside for more than a few seconds.”

“I think… I like the cold.”

We caught up to the rest of the science class, and listened to Mr Bevends talk about leaves and crap. Angel oscilated between this vibrating excitement and a frightened, hunted look, like her mom was gonna show up at any second and punish her for disobeying and doing one normal thing in her life. Angel touched the trees reverently. My friends made fun of her for “fondling the foliage.” I didn’t join in this time. I had bigger things planned.

When we broke off into groups of two, I went with Angel. My friends knew I was up to something great then, so they followed us, chuckling eagerly. I grinned back at them when Angel wasn’t looking.

We were supposed to identify different types of trees in the woods behind the school. I helped push Angel’s chair up the hill– it was insanely heavy. The wheels snagged on the muddy grass, but it didn’t matter. It’s not like she actually needed the thing.

“What are you doing?” Angel asked with rising terror as I leaned over her and produced the key. 

Everyone knew Mr Bevends always had class outside the first nice day of spring. It was really easy to slip the key from Ms CJ’s lanyard when she always left it out on her desk during homeroom. It was the one with little white wings on the chain. 

“I’m setting you free,” I said. I unlocked the shackles around her feet first, then the bar around her waist. She screamed at me to stop the entire time, but I knew I was doing the right thing. Someone had to teach her to be independent. Someone had to throw her out of her comfort zone. 

And that’s what I did. I set Angel free.

Angel rose from the chair. 

And rose. And rose.

Her shoes went over her head. She kicked her legs wildly as they drifted rapidly upwards. Angel shrieked and tried to grab onto the top of the chair– the handles, even trying to clutch a handful of my hair– desperate to stay anchored to the ground. But it was too late. She was already six feet in the air. 

Then twelve. 

Then thirty.

I couldn’t do anything other than watch on in shock as Angel shot up into the sky like a helium balloon. She twisted and clawed at the open air. 

It happened in seconds. One second, we were watching Angel make frantic grabbing motions at the ground, howling with terror, and the next second all we could see of her was the glint of the sunlight on her glittery pink cat sweater as she disappeared up into the vast emptiness above.

When Mr Bevends came to see what was the matter, all any of us could do was to point up. But by then, she was just a pinprick against the deep, endless blue sky. 

Then there was nothing.

[love-belle]

laundry and taxes !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which they're in their own little safe haven with their dumbass grown babies.

or

for when you can finally relate to the love songs. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // sebastian vettel x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - IM BACK!!!! HELLO!!!! i miss u all sm ://// hope u like this <3 i have a lando au and a charles one that i hope i can post by tonight or tomorrow fs so !!! thank u sm for reading i love you <3

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, sebastianvettel and 796,326 others

yourusername you're in the kitchen humming ❤️‍🩹

tagged sebastianvettel

7,826 comments

username PARENTS

username honestly my fav couple everrrrr

username Y/N'S FEEDING US SEBASTIAN CONTENT SLAY

username they're so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username mama y papa

landonorris missing you both

-> yourusername can't wait to see you next week <3 !!

username i love them sm ur honour

username the first photo ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

username god me when.

username no bc they're literally so in love like i could cry just thinking abt them and their relationship from the beginning to here and how they navigated through it all even when they were BOTH fighting for the title and look at them now 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-> username they're literally soulmates LOOK AT THEM

charles_leclerc maman wants me to tell you that she'll be facetiming you in the evening so that you both can crochet together 🫡

-> yourusername omg can't wait i miss pascale sm

-> charles_leclerc we'll crochet a small octopus!!!!!! i missed you sunshine!!!!!! - pascale

-> yourusername OH MY GOD OKAY ADHSJSJJS

-> username i LIVE for these interactions

username why r u doing this to me.

username omw to have a nice nap on the highway ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

username HE'S SO AHHHSHSHSBDBXBSJ

lewishamilton i'm dropping off roscoe tomorrow :)

-> yourusername we're not even in london???

-> lewishamilton oh i know. i'm in switzerland :)

-> yourusername oH

-> username LOVE drivers just randomly dropping by their home without any warning 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

username fuck romeo and juliet i want what these bitches have

username y/n im so happy for u and ur b-🤮 boy-🤮 boyf-🤮 boyfriend 🤮🤮🤮 i swear

username they're MY parents

sebastianvettel another taylor swift song?

-> yourusername shush you love her music

sebastianvettel i don't hum

-> yourusername yes you do

-> sebastianvettel no i don't

-> yourusername you were humming baby shark do do this morning

-> username BABY SHARK PLEASE WHAT

-> username LMFAOOOOO

username sigh :/// i want this so bad :///

username im so normal abt them i SWEAr sO nOrmAL

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, danielricciardo and 896,314 others

sebastianvettel my sunshine ❤️

tagged yourusername

8,926 comments

username SUNSHINE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username the fact that every SINGLE post on his acc is just y/n like

-> username love a man who's DEDICATED

-> username it's a y/n fan page

-> username i don't even blame him tbh she's so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username never will be getting over seb calling y/n his sunshine 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

username gf

username seb honestly needs to wife her up like im not even kidding

-> username im saying like

username MOTHER IS MOTHERING Y'ALL

username parents ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

lewishamilton 💜💜💜

*liked by sebastianvettel*

username no bc they own my heart like ACTUALLY

username love sebastian being a proper simp for y/n like

-> username we love to see it

-> username y/n was never a wag it was seb all along

-> username i KNOW he loves being called y/n's bf

username GIRLFRIEND ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username sebastian can u fight.

carlossainz55 charles says he misses you both

-> charles_leclerc NO I DIDN'T SAY THAT

-> sebastianvettel oh so you don't miss us?

-> charles_leclerc no!!!!!!!! i mean yeah!!!!!!! i do!!!!!!!!!

-> yourusername missing my boys everyday ❤️‍🩹

-> username "my boys" I CRIED

username im so in love with this woman my gawd

yourusername my love ❤️

*liked by sebastianvettel*

yourusername but did you have to use that last photo

-> sebastianvettel my favourite photo actually

-> yourusername i love you :/

-> sebastianvettel i love you more :)

username im gonna throw up (i love them to death)

username sebastian and y/n adopt me challenge 🔥🔥🔥

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, sebastianvettel and 1,826,418 others

yourusername cannot wait to do laundry and taxes with you for the rest of my life. i love you ❤️

tagged sebastianvettel

11,278 comments

username I DIED

username crying screaming throwing up sliding down the wall bashing my head pulling out my hair gagging rolling down the stairs laying on the highway microwaving a spoon taking a toaster bath

username OH MY GOD????????

username they're so ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

username THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER????? THE WAY THEY'RE SO IN LOVE WITH EACHOTHER??????

landonorris mama y papa

-> yourusername son?

-> sebastianvettel no thank you

-> landonorris WOW.

username im crying they're so precious to me

username they're my babies (they're older than me)

username y/n if u like drivers just say the word

-> username i could drive a taxi js sayin

username i want what they have 💔💔💔💔💔

lewishamilton sending you both all the love 💐!!

-> yourusername we miss you lewis 🫶🏼 come and see us!! we're in the living room

-> lewishamilton on my way

-> username THEY'RE ALL TOGETHER OMG

-> username lewis' second home is with y/n and seb and no i don't take criticism

username i miss them on the grid so BAD but this is so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username AHSHHSHHDBDJXDJSKD

username the way u can tell that they're so in love????? like it's so GENUINE im in awe

-> username y/n always being like "my boyfriend" "sebastian, my bf" "my seb" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-> username and seb being like "sunshine" "my sunshine" "liebe" "schatz" like i could cry ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username honestly my fav couple everrr

sebastianvettel cannot wait to go over the grocery list while sitting down at the dining table with you for the rest of my life

-> yourusername truly excited for our life

sebastianvettel i love you

-> yourusername i love you

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, yourusername, charles_leclerc and 1,926,811 others

sebastianvettel my everything ❤️ thank you for making me the happiest person alive by just being mine.

tagged yourusername

comments are disabled for this post

[gyuslcve]

hi! could i request an "svt when they're drunk with their s/o" thank you!!

drunk svt with their s/o

genre: fluff, humour (? i think)

rq: requested by anon!

not proofread

notes: thank you sm anon for this request!! this idea is so cute ;-; this is my first rq i’ve received so cheers to that <33 hope u enjoy this!

DRUNK SVT WITH THEIR S/O

choi seungcheol

✧ pouty babie (again)

✧ gets v protective of you

✧ he’s barely standing but he’d always have an arm around your waist

✧ “no one.. touch my girl! i’m her man.. hmph”

yoon jeonghan

✧ babygirl mode on

✧ keeps smiling at you :(

✧ is the calm kind

✧ constantly leaning his head onto your shoulder so that you’d braid his hair

✧ “ ‘love you y/n” [ smiles at you ]

hong joshua

✧ i think we’ve all seen him drunk on youngji’s show right

✧ still a gentleman

✧ tries to compliment you (keyword: tries because his words are barely audible atp)

✧ “you’re.. so prettyy…”

✧ kisses you between every word though

wen junhui

✧ cannot stand and will fall

✧ you’ll have to hold him with someone else (preferably cheol or mingyu)

✧ swats his hand and tells you he’s “completely fine”

✧ hugs you so tightly you can barely move

✧ murmurs sweet nothings into your hair

kwon soonyoung

✧ he’s gonna cry. 100%.

✧ hugs onto your arm, doesn’t let go

✧ you’ll have to baby him and smother him with kisses or he won’t stop crying

jeon wonwoo

✧ lots of nuzzling into the crook of your neck

✧ you can feel his breath fanning on your neck

✧ extra intimacy with you when he’s drunk

✧ aka gentle and soft kisses

✧ “thank you for taking good care of me my love.”

lee jihoon

✧ honestly i think jihoon’s just gonna fall asleep

✧ but!! he would be unconsciously touchy

✧ rests a hand in your thigh when you’re driving home

✧ alternatively he would hold your free hand

xu minghao

✧ who let this man get drunk oml

✧ his non-meditating side would take over and his calm composure is ruined

✧ calls his mother and talks about you like you aren’t next to him

✧ “mom.. please let me marry her…” “sorry ma’am i’ll get him home now”

kim mingyu

✧ big baby, you saw it coming

✧ would hug you and lift you up (dw ur safe)

✧ points to his cheeks asks for kisses

✧ or just pouts his lips and waits for you to pepper kisses all over him :(

lee seokmin

✧ he’s so loud omg 😭

✧ makes you play games w/ him

✧ lets you win though (best boy)

✧ you can say literally anything and he will laugh for five minutes minimum

boo seungkwan

✧ cue the dramatic singing

✧ it is an obligation to sing with him

✧ holds your hand while singing love songs to you (he means every single word)

✧ gets cheesy and flirty but denies being so when he sobers up

chwe vernon

✧ as expected, the quiet kind

✧ gets extra touchy though

✧ props his chin onto your shoulder and nuzzles into the crook of your neck

✧ eventually passes out and falls asleep

lee chan

✧ maknae side kicks in

✧ gets so giggly and clingy

✧ if it’s cold, he’d take your hands into his and warm them up while occasionally pressing soft kisses to the back of your hands (and giggles)

author’s notes: thank you anon again for the cute idea <3 hope you enjoyed this !!

[sweetpupii]

unbelievable, honestly.

the baby has been absolutely restless lately, still getting used to the fact that she is no longer in the womb. poor girl, she is suddenly very aware of the lack of warmth 24/7 now that she started to experience what's called weather and the daily breeze of an open window.

handing baby girl to rudy after nursing so he could put her to sleep while you take care of yourself was a wonderful idea. she gets sleep, he gets baby cuddles and you get to shower. everyone's more than happy with the deal.

for a moment, everything was perfect. stepping out of the bathroom, hair and body comfortably wrapped in a towel, you sighed with relief. clean, refreshed, and feeling human again—you dared to hope for a tiny, well deserved moment of peace. you just gave birth after all. ( gotta give mama a break ! )

but that hope was short-lived because there he was, laying down on the bed, baby nestled against his chest, crying.

not the baby. rodolfo.

“jesus, what happened? why are you crying?” you asked, alarmed while quickly approaching the bed. every single disastrous scenario automatically finding their way into your mind. was she hurt? did she stop breathing for a second? did he feel something weird on her body? did she—

instead of answering, he simply handed you his phone to show an Instagram reel about a quinceañera and her father swaying side to side to ‘tiempo de vals’ by chayanne. the song tugging at his heartstrings with every note. it's like the phone was mocking him and his emotional dad brain, cruelly reminding him that she won't be a baby forever. that one day it's gonna be her on a big, beautiful dress wearing a shiny crown and looking like an angel on her birthday party.

this man was desperately trying to keep his sobs quiet, taking off his glasses to wipe away tears with the back of his hand to not wake her up. he was clearly losing the battle, though. last time he cried like this was after your labor during skin to skin. ( the picture you took if it already his favorite, decorating the lock screen of his phone. )

“she’s growing up so fast,” he managed, voice cracking.

rodolfo parra, the respectable sergeant major of los vaqueros who was trained to be cold and show no mercy on duty, was weeping because of a newborn baby that was nowhere near fifteen years old and currently drooling onto his shirt completely oblivious of her father's sorrow.

you blinked, baffled. “...she's barely three weeks old.”

“¡por eso!” he cried, his face scrunching up in anguish. absolutely heartbroken about how fast time goes. she was out the womb yesterday, whining on your chest while the nurses cleaned her up and now she's already three weeks old? when did that even happen!

maybe it was this new type of love—one that he has never felt before—that filled his heart as soon as he found out he was gonna be a dad, the fact that he would already do anything for his little princess of maybe the fact he was still overwhelmed or the fact that his parental leave comes to an end in nine weeks that made him so emotional.

sure, that sounds like a lot but it sure as hell don't feel like it.

how is he supposed to go back to the base, work and focus when the love of his life is spending the day with the other tiny love of his life, at home being all warm and cozy and cute and—ugh! it sounds like a bad joke but sadly it'll be his routine.

“look at ‘er…” he sniffed, trailing his eyes down her tiny face. she's so adorable he wanted to scream into a pillow and protect her from all the awful shit that happens daily, give her the best life she could ever have and show her that she is and will always be the most important thing in his whole entire world.

how can you even comfort a forty-five year old man that's crying for something that's gonna happen in more than a decade?

well, better find a way soon because it's gonna happen reaaaaaally often.

masterlist ♡ taglist

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Glynis Johns (Mary Poppins, The Court Jester)—LISTEN, I'd let that woman's voice with all its gravely hoarseness (positive) wash over me all goddamn day, but if that's not enough she managed to play the straight woman to Danny Kaye's jester, all with her cleavage so plunging it might as well have been catapulted into the ocean right after Basil Rathbone

Eartha Kitt (Anna Lucasta, St. Louis Blues)—My friend and I have a saying: NOBODY is Eartha Kitt. A thousand have tried, and they've all come up empty and will continue to do so. Everyone knows her for something: from "Santa Baby" to Yzma in Emperor's New Groove to Catwoman to making Lady Bird Johnson cry for the Vietnam War. She was a master of comedy and sex, an extremely vocal activist, and she aged like fine wine... I honestly don't know what I can say about her that hasn't already been said, so I'll stick to linking all my propaganda. Like what else do you want from me. She was iconic at everything she ever did. Literally name another. How can anyone even think of her and not want to absolutely drown?

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Glynis Johns:

She walks the line between sexy and cute. Her best role for me is in "The Court Jester as Maid Jean. She's fantastic as the soft but tough captain of the outlaw band and she looks stunning in every gown she wears throughout the film. And of course we can't forget her iconic turn as the suffragette mother, Mrs. Banks, in Mary Poppins! Also shoutout to her distinctive and beautiful voice, kind of smoky and husky. Extremely hot and set her apart from many of her peers."

"She was amazing in Mary Poppins (the Suffragette song is severely underrated) and apparently she was Welsh? National pride! And she advocated for arts funding in Wales, which is very cool. Also, she died recently (RIP) making her one of the last survivors of the Golden Age of Hollywood, according to Wikipedia. Also also, she just has a cheeky energy I like? And her eyes are beautiful!"

"She had this wonderful wit and charm to her no matter the role and the most distinctive, striking voice!"

"I mean, incredibly beautiful and talented, can do drama can do comedy. And she was a mermaid."

"Like Bette Davis she has eyes to die for. Unlike Bette Davis you felt comforted by them, even when she was batting her eyelashes at you. Would glady go to Downing Street with her and throw things at the Prime minister"

"Listen, listen. I was raised on Mary Poppins and "Votes for women! (step in time)" single-handedly taught me how to be a feminist. Also The Court Jester is one of my favourite movies of all time and she is UNBELIEVABLY gorgeous, charismatic, funny, and clever in it. She knocks several men out. Absolute icon."

"I love Glynis Johns. Most of the reason is The Court Jester where she's a sensible and capable foil to whatever what going on with Danny Kaye at the time. She was also the first star I based an OC on. An OC that I still have to this day! Anyway here have some YouTube links love u bye"

Mermaid clip:

Court Jester (sharing a bed trope):

Court Jester (seducing the king):

"VOTES FOR WOMEN! Well, votes for this woman. Please."

Eartha Kitt:

"A hot vintage woman who was not just known for her voice, beauty, poise, and presence, but also her unapologetic ways of speaking about how she was mistreated in the show business as a girl who grew up on cotton fields in South Carolina in the 1930s through the 1940s coming to Broadway first and then Hollywood."

"Have you watched her sing?? Have you seen her face?? Have you heard her talk?? How could you not fall instantly in love. She makes me incoherent with how hot she is."

"She can ACT she can SING she can speak FOUR LANGUAGES she is a GODDESS!!! Although she is (rightfully) remembered for her singing, TV appearances (Catwoman my beloved), and later film roles, her early appearances in film are no less impressive or noteworthy!! She’s an amazing actress with so much charisma in every role. She was also blacklisted from Hollywood for 10 years for criticizing the Johnson administration/Vietnam War, so. Iconic. Also Orson Welles apparently called her “the most exciting woman in the world.”

"She had such a stunning, remarkable appearance, like she could tear you to shreds with just a glance- but the most undeniable part of her hotness was her voice, and it makes sense that it's what most people nowadays know her for. Nothing encapsulates the sheer magnetism of her singing better than this clip of her and Nat King Cole in St. Louis Blues, she pops in at 2:49. Also I know it's post-1970 but her song that was cut from Emperor's New Groove is likely to make you feel Feelings."

Even with as racist as Hollywood was in the 1950s and 60s, Eartha Kitt STILL managed to have a thriving career. She also once had a threesome with Paul Newman and James Dean, and called out LBJ over the Vietnam War so hard that it made First Lady Johnson cry. Eartha Kitt was talented, sexy, and a total badass activist.

[babybatss-blog]

ALONE

Sam (stardew) x f!reader, 3300 words

summary: maybe it’s a bad idea to get high with your childhood crush, but here you are, crying and praying you didn’t feel the way you did.

a/n: okay this is way angstier than I intended it to be! It ends up being quite sweet, but the beginning is honestly depressing. Bare with it my friends, cause I’m really proud of this one!!!

cw: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!! childhood friends to lovers, smoking and getting high on weed. Mentions of family members passing and reader is struggling with intense grief. Swearing, kissing, making out, 69ing, ejaculation and both f and m orgasms. Slight religious comparisons.

No one would expect what would happen tonight, not even you, who has been friends with Sam since birth. Your parents raised you together along with Sebastian and Abigail to always be by each other’s side, exploring your grandparents farm or causing trouble in the town square. But in the back of your head, you always had some strange, borderline inappropriate crush on Sam. Just a simple smile would make your heart flutter, and you spent many late nights crying over some new girlfriend he had for at most a week at your school. But it was wrong. You told yourself that a million times. He was like a brother, not anything more or anything less.

You find yourself at his on a Friday night, hair sprawled on his sheets and skin concealed by a skimpy top and shorts; far too risqué for a day out on the farm. You wore it just for Sam, hoping that it could indulge you in some fantasies you have long dreamt about. It was idiotic to think that anything could happen, but your high brain after smoking a joint together caused some delusional thoughts of childhood escapades to return.

What if something could finally happen between you? No, you can’t think that about one of your best friends. Fucking fool.

You couldn’t blame yourself though, as Sam invited you to have a sleepover at his after a night in the saloon. Since you inherited your Grandparents farm and moved back into your childhood home, it’s been difficult spending a single night there. No matter how much wood is in the fireplace or the volume of music you blast, you can’t escape the cold quietness that comes with that tiny cabin. You miss the times where the farmhouse was always bustling with community members and smelling of homecooked meals, wondering what the world looked like outside of your small town with outstanding naïve. At least you still have your friends, who will be there for you no matter what. You feel those same feelings arise when you’re with Sam though, watching him play his guitar while smoke billows out of your mouth picturesquely. His light blonde hair falls messily over his face, the freckles peaking out like splatters on a canvas. If you were to paint him, you could easily portray every detail, flaw and all. He’s perfect you think, wondering what his lips would taste like on yours.

He abruptly stops the song, sticking his hand out to you. “give me a puff.” You huff at him, handing it over. You can’t help the way your thighs clench when your fingers brush, and somehow you feel as if he is the same, as his eyes linger for a second too long on yours, pink lips enveloping the joint and taking a long breath.

Theres no way he feels the same, don’t be an idiot.

The room reeks of marijuana, something that you know Jodi would kill you for. She was always stressed out of her mind with the two of you, getting into trouble and causing a ruckus. And you feel like that same teenager all over again, doing something your parents would never approve of in a precariously hid secret.

They did know the truth though, and let it happen. You kept him safe, and he kept you sane. A symbiotic relationship. Jodi mostly thought her son was reckless. Unpredictable. Unadulterated. But around you, he became a man, ready to protect and be protected. On nights like this where you have no energy to fight the visions racing in your mind, he would be there, playing your favourite songs on his guitar and staying up to make sure your nightmares don’t get too tense.

As you battle with your subconsciousness to fight the intense guilt eating away at you for such childish caprices, tears start to leak out of your eyes. Sam immediately notices, snuffing out the joint and placing his guitar down. “No… What’s wrong?” He sits by you on the bed, hand brushing some hair out of your eyes. He immediately regrets it, pulling his hand away. This makes you cry even more.

He doesn’t even want to touch you, you’re insane for even considering he liked you back. 

Sam reluctantly shuffles down to lie on his side next to you, face opposite yours. You feel his eyes staring at you, but don’t dare to move. If you do, he might ask what’s wrong. What are you supposed to say? I’m crying because I’m so grateful you are here for me and all I want is to love you like you deserve but it will never be?

The two of you lie like this for at least an hour, frozen like statues, minds running wild. But at least your tears have dried, so you can turn to him and feed into impulses without looking like some hideous beast.

“There she is.” He smiles, crow’s feet appearing by his eyes. “Don’t do that Sam.” You plead, pain striking your chest at how his innocent worlds blush your cheeks. Unaware, he grins, grabbing your shoulders and pinning you down. He straddles you, breath tickling your forehead as he peers over your shocked frame. To any other individual this is inherently sexual, but not to Sam. He starts air punching your face, eliciting a giggle to erupt from your throat. You push him off, and an all-familiar wrestling match ensues. You leap and he twists, you scream and he laughs. This is something you would do with your friends all the time previously, and it feels ever so natural to do it again after all these years. The two of you intertwine like gloves, dodging each other’s clumsy attacks and laughing like wild parrots. But you’re not the same little kids anymore, so you get tired quicker than you used to and the only sounds soon heard are your breaths amalgamating as you gasp for air when you stop, slightly embarrassed by your unfit states. Maybe it’s the smoke that caused your lungs to be this way, or the fact that you’re getting older. More likely, it’s the how close your faces are to each other, him once again on top of you, now pinning your hands up above your head as your core selfishly soils.

It's pathetic honestly, how malleable you are around him. After all these years you believed you could come back to Pelican town as a new person, capable of taking care of yourself after seeing the world. You thought you would be some mature, sexy woman standing in front of him, having her own escapades and somehow showing this clueless man your better than him. But that isn’t reality. When you saw him again, your eyes were puffy from grieving the dead, your hair matted and body frumpy in it’s baggy clothes, and not at all appearing confident or self-assured. What’s worse, you’re still a virgin. That may seem unimportant to the average person, but you always held yourself out in hopes for Sam. So the real world gave you an opportunity to let go of those immature ties, breaking free from what held you back.

None of that matters now, when he says the most unexpected thing you could think of, like a man out of your dreams. His words come out anxious and light, as if he didn’t even expect them himself.

“Can I kiss you?”

You nod, unable to get the words out. Because if you did, it may not be true. Nonetheless he leans down, pausing mere millimetres away from you. It’s tantalising, but your scared, so you don’t argue with it. This is something you have imagined for years, and it could finally happen. Your lips connect as he brings himself the final way down, a groan leaving his mouth in pleasure. It’s almost embarrassing how wet you already are, but he doesn’t seem to care as one arm slides down to your waist. Not a moment to goes by before his tongue slips between your shaking lips, raking along your teeth and intertwining with yours, saliva tasting earthy just like the cannabis you consumed. The shared kiss is inexperienced, wild and erratic, as if the two of you have been waiting for this moment for years. And you have.

Your hands take the moment to explore every inch of skin you’ve never been able to touch, his back rippling like waves and his chest heaving like a hungry shark. Even those warm eyes stare right at you like the deep blue when you pull away, both unsure of where to go from here.

“What are we doing Sam?” You ask, maintaining the tiniest sliver of mature so you can understand where his head is at. If he were to ask you the same thing, you would say you are doing what’s exactly right. Finally giving into love, surrendering to what you deserve and living as solely each other’s until your dying days. This is it, the first and final time you need to expose yourself. Because this should be your forever, as insane as it sounds.

“I don’t know.” He admits, in a statement far from what you want to hear. “But I’ve wanted this for a long time. So lets see how this goes.” He leans back down after saying this, pure passion drenching his kiss as he practically suffocated you. Your body takes over autopilot after his words, kissing him back while processing what he just said.

He wanted this for a long time? Does that mean he feels the same way? This can’t be real.

The realisation invigorates you, a side coming out nobody has ever had the fortune to experience. You flip him over to be on top, lips barely leaving his for a second as you explore his mouth in turn. His hard on now touches you, and you desperately try to conceal your moan as you realise what you’ve done to him. But you’re exactly the same, every and any bit of friction vibrating within you. You need it. You need him to do whatever he wants, to show you whatever you don’t know and finally leave those secrets only left for lovers behind. You start to roll your hips into his, the two of you making obscene noises as you struggle to keep your kissing going. His fingers dig into your ass, hands trembling at the lewdity the two of you have never experienced before. But you don’t know this yet, and neither does he. You need to break the news sooner or later.

“I need you” You concede, grinding into him with shaky breaths. Understanding the sentiment perfectly, he pushes you away lightly, the two of you now sitting together completely dishevelled but enraptured. “Me too. But I’m… A virgin.”

It’s almost as if your brain blocks out his words due to sheer disbelief, because you just sit there in silence, waiting for him to say something. Just as the prospect of innocence embarrasses you, it seems to also affect him, as his face turns a shade of bright red as he nervously rubs his palm up and down his leg. “Is that weird? Cause like, we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want. I know some girls get grossed out by that and I-“ “Wait what?” You genuinely ask, ignoring his previous sentiment that brought you to this moment. “I-I’m a virgin.” He repeats, eyes bewilderly looking into yours.

“Oh.” You stutter, the exclamation coming out more judgy than you meant it to. Because you never expected this handsome man opposite you to be the same as you in this regard. In your head, he’s had hundreds of experiences like this one, girls basically lining up at his door for just one touch. But he’s just as awkward as you, head about to explode in hopes you still want him just the way he is.

“Me too Sam.” You smile, an invisible barrier of worry breaking instantaneously as the two of you realise you are in the same boat. You lean forward to be on all fours to kiss him, his hand flying up to stabilise you at the jaw as you kiss, much more soft and caring than before. You pull his top up over his head, toned abs rubbing up against your stomach as your heat melds into each other. The two of you feel safe like this, alone in the four walls of his room exploring fantasies you have long thought could never be true. You know it’s true though when your hand brushes against his crotch, feeling how incredibly hard he is and the shivers he elicits after such a soft touch. Pulling away, you look in his eyes to see the daze you have placed him in. “Shall I?”

He nods frantically, and you sit back, pulling his pants and underwear down. His length springs out, precum dribbling slowly down the shaft as it hits his abs. It’s everything you ever dreamed of, throbbing and sore for your touch, as he craves the same thing as you. You spit into your hand and rub them together, before slowly going down the shaft as he moans. Although you would hate to admit it, you’re a tease, moving agonisingly slow as your hands twist and bob. Sam is acting as if you’re going as fast as humanly possible though, his head falling back and hand covering his mouth, attempting to not call out every swear word in the book.

Despite this, your determined to show him what he’s missed out on by never doing this earlier, so you lean down to swirl his tip on your tongue. He practically screams, and you need to pull away to shush him. “Shh, your mum and Vincent are in the house.” He wines, a frail hand grabbing your head and rubbing it possessively. “Please…” He mutters, almost a shell of his former self.

You obediently go back down, hot mouth enveloping his foreskin completely as he bites down on his hand to remain silent. It’s a surprise Sam doesn’t draw blood, because it takes everything in him not to call out your name at the way you envelop him. Your throat takes his member nearly completely as you push further down, eyes filling with tears as you battle against your gag reflex. His length hits the back of your throat soon thereafter, and you begin to pull back and forth, sucking as he shakes beneath you, his musk intoxicating. It doesn’t take long for him to push your spit soaked face away, looking down at you like he just had a religious experience. “Want to sit on my face?” He manages after a bit, and you don’t even bother to respond as you unbutton and pull your shorts and underwear off, revealing your soaked, sensitive cunt to him.

It's just what he dreamed of. Delicate and weak, absolutely begging for his touch. He leans forward to take your shirt and bra off, nipples hard in the air but soon softened as his hands hold them tight. He massages them, dazed vision staring at how they move in his influence. You stop him, pulling his hands away as fast as they came and pushing him to lie down in front of you as you crawl over. His hands hold your squishy thighs as you slowly sink down in a reverse cowgirl position onto his hungry face, and when as you’re close enough, Sam greedily laps up your juices, tasting the sweet nectar he so desperately wanted. Your back arches, groaning at how he satisfies your throbbing with eagerness you didn’t even know was possible. Although you know he is enjoying your squirming at his every move almost as much as you are, you cannot help but lean back down to his cock and envelop it once more.

The two of you suck at each other’s soft spots, desperate in both pleasuring and being pleasured as slopping noises are all that is heard. It’s hard for you not to stop what you are doing as his tongue quickly swirls your clit, threatening your internal explosion but the need to give him as much love as your getting takes over you, throat completely filled with his scent. Sam begins shaking, symbolising his climax taking over as he struggles to keep up his pace within you. “Let go.” You mumble as you pull away, before diving back in. As your mouth does it’s job so does your hands, Twisting and squeezing at the base until he cums right into your mouth. The warm, salty liquid shoots down your throat like a waterfall, Sam’s overstimulated body going completely weak as you take his load. Some of it clings to your lips when you pull away, but you wipe it off, getting to move off his face to give him a rest.

Clearly Sam doesn’t need it though, energy almost as high as his brain when he pulls you back down. “Beautiful girl.” He mumbles, kissing your folds over and over again. You readjust to be right on top of him this time, sinking down and rolling your hips. Your stomach tightens at the sensation, moaning as quiet as possible at how his tongue massages your clit. As he does so, his nose threatens to breach your entrance, wet juices leaking out from within.

“Oh Sam…” You moan, sensations being overridden by complete pleasure. The way his mouth rolls up and down you is like heaven, causing your vision to blur and your mind to go blank.

Sam doesn’t stop there though. Despite how close you are already, he is determined to treat you just how he dreamed it would be. His long pointer and middle finger slide into you, stretching your hole in a way you have never felt. Unexpected, but flawless. A moan comes out of your mouth much louder than you expected, head dropping down and your hands catching yourself before you fall on his toned abs. Your hips grind back and forth on him, as his hands and mouth move as fast as possible.

And that’s when it happens. Your first, true, all-encompassing orgasm. It takes over your body like a possession, sensitivity rising higher like never before. You practically slap your mouth with your hand in order to not alert the whole neighbourhood to what the two of you are doing, but the rocking of the bed as you thrust across his mouth may as well give it away. As it takes over you fully you collapse, quickly rolling off of him to lie at the foot of the bed. This overwhelming feeling is everything you missed out on, and to experience it with the man taking over your dreams for years is a paradise. Your mind runs itself in circles at this euphoric fact, exploring every possibility of the future you may have as he crawls over to you, arms enveloping your naked body. “Thank you.” He mutters, kissing your jaw.

Within his arms you feel safe, like everything is right and how it should be. You turn to kiss him back, tongue circling each other and tasting yourselves like you never have before.

Neither of you know where to go from here, or what the other is thinking, but one thing is certain. You wouldn’t complain if the rest of your life was spent like this.

[judes-hoe]

Bitter rivals, sweet love

Parrings~ Lewis Hamilton x OC

Summary~She’s gonna be in f1 for her third year and goes to a team no one expects her to. She’s always got a cold expression and only those close to her know why. Shes been close one to many times to winning a championship and this year she’s gonna get it no matter what.

Warnings~ google translated Italian, mentioned crying,

A/N~ so doing the Japanese Grand Prix and then after that skipping to the Miami Grand Prix, just because I don’t wanna write every single race or this series will be soooo long. So the I’ll write the Japanese GP cause it’ll be the first time of many of having to share a hotel!!!! Next chapter will be in Miami btw we skipping china lol but I’ll mention who wins it lol!!

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.6 pt.7

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Vanessa had just arrived at the hotel room she’ll be sharing with Lewis. She settled down and laid on the one bed scrolling on her phone watching edits that popped up of her. She loved when the fans made edits of her, let her know she was appreciated.

Around 20 minutes later she heard a knock and immediately rolled her eyes knowing it’s Lewis. She gets up as slow as possible before going to open the door, when she did she was met with the British man with his suitcase. She rolled her eyes and walked in the room. Lewis caught the door before it could close and walked in placing his stuff on the other bed.

“Good to see you too.” He smirked. “stai zitto.” She said to him before going back to her phone. “You know I know Italian right?” He smirked at her laying on his bed. “non me ne frega un cazzo.” She said rolling her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a couple hours later, now in the paddock for media. She just sat on the couch for the interviews. She was with max, Lando, Charles, and Carlos.

About 20 minutes in she finally got asked a question, “hello Vanessa, you have 3 races, that includes this one, till your 1st home race as you have 2 through the season, how do you feel.” The man asked. “Well I can’t wait honestly, it’s always a different feeling racing in your country, and as my fans know if I win my home race I wanna be edit to the song ‘Viva La Vida’ same song every year.” Vanessa said with a smile. “Why that song?” He asked. “Well there’s nothing behind it, it’s just gives me winner vibes, but to my fans again if you wanna make a more calm edit do white Ferrari by frank ocean.” She said with another smile.

They then continue with the interview and she gets a few more questions before leaving the interview. “Nessa wanna come to lunch with us?” Carlos asked standing next to Lando, Max, and Charles. “Sure, got nothing else to do.” She shrugged going with them.

When they got to the place to eat Charles leans over a whispers. “I saw Lewis going into your room about 25 minutes after you, what’s that about?” He smirked when he asked. “Toto got mad at us after what happened in Australia so he talked to our managers and we have to share a room for the rest of the season and do “couples therapy” and if we don’t fix our rival by the end of the season we both lose our seats.” Vanessa said looking at Charles with an annoyed expression. “You and Lewis have to share a room!” He said a little to loud making the other 3 men look at the 2 with a smirk. “It’s not like that.” She groaned and explained the whole story again.

“You guys can’t tell anyone though.”she said with a serious expression. “If I hear someone talk about this that isn’t any of us, I’m killing you all.” She spoke before taking a bite of her food which made the guys nod their heads quickly before also eating their food.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She walks into the hotel room after he lunch with Carlos, Charles, Lando, and max. She sees Lewis laying on his bed shirtless and his chest a little wet. “Your staring a little hard sweetheart, see something you like?” He smirks when he notices her. “No, and stop calling me sweetheart.” She said annoyed. “If you say that I’m gonna keep calling you it.” He said with a cocky smile.

Vanessa grabs her pajamas which was just a t-shirt her dad always wore, and some shorts. She then walks to the bathroom and closes the door and starts the shower. She gets in the shower and relaxes under the hot water.

Vanessa gets out the shower, and gets changed into the pajamas. She walks out back into the room, putting the dirty clothes away and sitting on her bed. “Who’s on the shirt?” Lewis asked her. “My dad’s favorite band.” She said not wanting to talk to him. “Then why are you wearing it?” He asked again. “Cause I can!” She raised her voice a little. “God you ask so many questions.” She said turning on her side so she doesn’t have to look at him.

“Didn’t have to yell was just wondering why you’re wearing the shirt and not him.” He said. Vanessa stops all her movements and just lays there, her mind going back to that night. “Because there’s a reason, now I’ll be back im going for a walk.” She said getting up and slamming the door before walking down the hallway knocking on a door.

The door opened to reveal Daniel in a shirt and shorts. “What are you doing here it’s 7pm?” He asked when he saw her. “Can I just come in.” She asked softly. He nodded and let her in and she sat on the edge of his bed. “Me and Lewis have to share a hotel room for the rest of the season as punishment by Toto and by the end of the season if our rival isn’t fixed and put aside for the team we lost our seats, and he just asked me about this shirt and I told him and he asked why am I wearing it and not my dad.” She rambles to Daniel and starts to tear up when she stops.

Daniel now knows why she came here, cause she felt herself going to cry and knows she’s only comfortable crying around him. “It’s ok, it’s ok darling.” He said pulling her in a hug and petting her hair. “He probably doesn’t know, a lot of people on the grid don’t know.” He said kissing the top of her head. “Stay with me for a little we can watch a movie and then you can go back to your room.” He said pulling her away and wiped her tears away. “Ok.” She said going to say in his bed.

He got his computer and logged in giving it to her to play a movie. Vanessa picked the first avatar movie cause it’s one of her favorites.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the movie she said by to Daniel before going back to her hotel room. She did have a key so she knocked on the door. The door opened shortly after to reveal Lewis, she rolled her eyes at him and went and laid in her bed. Plugged her phone in and laid on her side away from Lewis going to sleep.

Lewis knew something was wrong and said something to upset her which he didn’t like. He stayed up an hour after she went to sleeping try to think about it before falling asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vanessa woke up, not to her alarm, but to grunt like noises. She looked at her phone and saw 6am on it. She still had 45 minutes till she woke up. She turned on her side and saw Lewis on the floor doing push ups.

“It’s six in the morning why are you up?” She asked mildly angry. “Had to get my morning work out in.” Lewis said stopping a sitting back on his knees with a little shrug. “Well now you share a room respect people who trying to still sleep!” She let out a huff and got out the bed going into the bathroom.

Vanessa walks out the bathroom and now sees Lewis getting ready to take a shower. He walked into the bathroom when she walked out. When she heard the shower turn on she started to undress and get dressed for the day, because no chance she’s going back to sleep.

After she changes it’s around 8am now. She left the hotel and to her car to head to the paddock. Before she headed to the garage she walked around the paddock and ran into Charles.

“Charles.” She said with a little excitement in her voice. “Good luck this weekend I know it means something to you.” She said with a little smile giving him a hug when he leans in. “Thanks mon amor I appreciate it.” He said with a smile. “Well I’ll talk to you later need to head back to my garage.” He spoke. “Ok see ya later Charlie.” She says smiling before going to her own garage.

Vanessa walks in and sees him talking to Toto, but she walks in the opposite direction to Calvin. She talks to Calvin for a bit before getting ready for FP1.

In her drivers room she put on her fireproofs and then her suit. Grabbing her helmet and going to stand next I Calvin. “Ready?” Vanessa asked looking over his shoulder at the screen. “Yes put your helmet on!” He said patting her shoulder.

She quickly put on the balaclava, kissing the two names on her helmet. Then putting the helmet on and getting in the car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~skip to race day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vanessa had done well in all FP, and managed to get a P3 in qualifying. Lewis in P2, max in P1. She had Charles and Lando behind her which he didn’t really care about.

They all lined up on the grid and the lights slowly flickered on.

“It’s lights out and away we go!”

She had tried to overtake Lewis on the first turn my didn’t mange keeping their gap close together, but also managing to get a gap between Lando.

A couple laps in, Lewis changed his tyres. Vanessa being able to take his spot and get a good 3 seconds gap while he was in the pit. Lewis getting out just in time to be in front on Charles.

A another few laps goes by and Lewis closed the gap, catching up to Vanessa. Max boxed so now she was P1 and Lewis P2.

The 45 lap is when Lewis manages to overtake Vanessa in P1 with DRS. Now she has to watch max behind her, just want she wants. “Gap between me and max?” She asked Calvin on the radio. “2 seconds.” He replied. “Good enough.” She says back to him which made him smile.

For the rest of the race she stayed in P2 having to defend from max a few times but built the gap back up, almost overtaking Lewis a few times too but just not enough.

So here they are standing on the podium now, P1 Lewis, P2 Vanessa, and P3 max. When they took the picture she made sure her a Lewis had some(a lot) of space between them with a half fake smile on her face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That next morning Vanessa left to go back to Monaco before the Chinese Grand Prix.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N ~ watch out next chapter it might be a little heart breaking and sad😭

Taglist: @happy-golden-hour @tallrock35

[vanfleeter]

His Turn // JTK

Characters: Jake x Fem!reader Warnings: Angst. Language. Being ghosted and ignored. Fluff. Smut. Making out. Fingering. Breeding kink. Penetrative sex (p in v). Protected sex. Oral sex (fem receiving). I ask that you tell me if I missed anything, because I probably did. Author's Note: I honestly cannot tell you what created this idea.

Summary: After pining after you for years but only being a shoulder to cry on and an ear to vent in, he decides to step away and give his heart a break until one fateful night at a wedding that brings him back where he truly belongs.

Song to listen to: Just Friends - Jonas Brothers

Every boyfriend. Every heartbreak. Every date. Every time you got stood up. Every phone call. Every text that made you smile. He was there for it all. Supporting you and comforting you. Faking a smile every time.

He pined after you. Wishing that the next text that made you smile was from him. That the next date you went on was him taking you out and not some snobby asshole who thinks he’s a man but really he’s just another fuck boy wanting to get inside your pants and just another guy who will eventually break your heart.

Honestly, this was getting very tiring for him. Constantly wiping your tears, holding you while you wept against his chest. The late night phone calls where he wouldn’t speak a word, but instead listen to you and let you vent. He was starting to not care because he was getting tired of it.

So he stopped. He stopped caring. He stopped answering your phone calls and stopped responding to your texts that contained your hurt and your anger. He. Just. Stopped.

He won’t ever be good enough for you, because to him–he feels more like a therapist than a friend. A friend who is falling down the deepest well of love for you that he’s willing to just give it up.

Because when will it be him? When will you finally realize that the right one for you has been right there this whole time? And yet, you always choose the wrong one.

–

“She’s going to be there tonight, you know..” Josh says as he helps straighten out Jake’s bowtie. Jake grumbles about having to wear a bow tie and not being able to have his shirt unbuttoned the way he likes it. “Oh hush, you’ll survive. Just wear it through the ceremony and then I’m sure you’ll be allowed to undo it once pictures are finished.”

A friend’s wedding that they were asked to be groomsmen in. And you, a bridesmaid. He was nervous about seeing you again…since keeping his distance. He wondered how many wrong dates you’ve been on since he’d limited his time with you.

“Do I have to talk to her?”

“You don’t have to,” Josh says. He finishes with Jake’s tie before turning to face the mirror and work on his own. “You won’t even have to utter a single syllable as you walk with her down the aisle.”

“Of course, that..”

He was paired with you to exit the ceremony with and to enter the reception with. He couldn’t make it to the rehearsal so he hasn’t seen you yet. Or spoken to you.

“Can you walk with her instead?”

Josh scoffs. “And piss off the bride? Ha! Not happening brother.” He turns to face Jake once more, giving his twin a once over to make sure he was his best. “Good, let’s head out. We can’t be late.”

–

The wedding went smoothly. The walk down the aisle, however, was awkward. Painfully awkward. The tension was obvious but the both of you faked it the best you could. He never spoke to you, keeping true to what Josh suggested he do. You were hoping he’d complete you on how you look. Especially the dress. He said you always looked beautiful in green. Something about the way the color brought out your eyes and complimented your skin tone. But not a word was spoken, hardly even a glance. He kept his eyes focused in front of him as the two of you exited the hall. He let go of your arm as soon as you stepped through the threshold.

Photos were even more agonizing. Not once did he look your way. He either focused his attention on Josh or kept a conversation with the other groomsmen. You only caught him looking at you once the whole day, when you walked down the aisle. A quick look and then his eyes diverted back to the floor or somewhere else in the room. Anywhere then having to look at you.

Finally it was starting to get to you. All night you’ve been ignored and you weren’t going to take it any longer. Standing up from your chair, you maneuver through people while making your way up the bar where Jake stands with Josh. They’re chit chatting about upcoming projects when Josh spots you and immediately stops talking. He gives you a wide smile and patted your arm before eyeing Jake and walking away.

“Hey, can we talk?” You say. “Preferably somewhere where we can hear each other clearly?”

Jake’s eyes frantically search the room in hopes of finding an excuse to say no. But alas, he cannot. Sighing and giving in, he nods his head and motions towards the side doors that lead out to the back patio. Much to your gratitude, it’s void of any living soul.

“What did you want to talk about?” He asks, leaning against the wooden railing and taking a drink of his whiskey.

“What the heck has been going on lately?” You say. “We haven’t spoken hardly at all for months now and maybe I’m just slow at figuring shit out but I have this feeling that I did something..” Jake remains silent and takes another drink. “Jake, if I did something, then please tell me so I can apologize and fix it.”

“There’s nothing for you to apologize for,” He says. “What’s done is done.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You.. And me.” He takes another drink.

“So what.. We aren’t friends anymore?”

Again he remains silent.

“Jacob, wh-why can’t we be friends?”

He simply shakes his head and down the rest of his drink before pushing off the railing and walking towards the door. You grab his hand, preventing him from going any further. A strike of lightning lights up the night sky followed by a low rumble of thunder.

“Jake.. Talk to me.” You plead. “Why can we be friends anymore? What did I do?”

“I can’t talk about this..”

“Jake.. Come on, it’s me. You know you can talk to me.”

He shakes his head and pulls his hand away. “I can’t talk to you about this because it’s too hard to.”

“What do you mean? Why is it hard?”

“Because you..” He starts, but he sighs and runs a hand down his face. His back still faces you. “Because I… I’m so fucking in love with you and you haven’t even noticed it..”

His words stun you.

“You’re in love with me?”

He scoffs and rubs the back of his neck. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does, Jake.” You turn him around but just like all day, his eyes are everywhere but on you. “Why haven’t you ever told me?”

“When could I?” He says, his eyes finally meeting yours. You can see the hurt clouding his eyes as they flicker between yours. “Between all of the guys you were with and the many dates? Believe me when I say this, I wanted to tell you so fucking bad.. But whenever I tried, it always failed because when I finally got up the courage to tell you, I was met with tears or anger because of some asshole. But like I said, it doesn’t matter… Not anymore.” And with that he turns back around and heads inside the building to the party as if nothing happened.

To say you felt stupid was an understatement. This whole time, that man, your now former best friend, had been in love with you and you were so blind to notice. How could you have not seen it?

Your feet had yet to move, your body longing to run in there after him but nothing was happening. You watched him through the window pane as he moved through the crowded room, weaving his way towards the bar to get another drink. The door opens, pulling you out of your trance and you turn towards them as two happy and drunk people spilled out onto the patio. You give them a fake smile as they greet you and stumble past you and to the furniture that lies past you.

Another roll of thunder sounds above you and suddenly the downpour falls over you, soaking through your dress and weighing your hair down. The drunken couple quickly scurry inside leaving you outside alone and wet. The door opens again and Jake stands there and crosses his arms over his chest. “Get inside.”

“You still care?”

He rolls his eyes. “Always had a thing for theatrics.” He says. “Get inside before you get sick.” The wind blows a little, causing droplets of rain to hit his suit and hair. It slowly begins to grow damp as he stands there waiting for you. “Y/N, now.”

“Or what? You’ll leave me again? Ghost me?” You scoff. “You’re good at that.”

His jaw tightens. “I had every right to walk away. It was either get my heart ripped out of my chest every single time you had a new guy or save myself the heartache and walk away.” He had stepped out a little further, allowing the rain to really soak through his suit and soak his hair. “Now get the fuck inside.”

“No..”

“Y/N, why do you have to be like this?! Get the fuck inside or so help me god, I will carry you inside myself.”

“I. Fucking. Dare. You.”

He allows the door to close as he strides across the patio until he is face-to-face with you. With the heels you wear, you’re just about eye level with him. “Just because I gave up pining over you, doesn’t mean that I still don’t care.”

“Then why did you leave me?” You say. “Why couldn’t you just tell me that you loved me? It would have saved me a lot of embarrassment on cringey dates.”

His eyes close and he heaves a sigh. “I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same..”

“Oh fuck, Jake.” You groan. “I do feel the same way!”

His eyes open again. “What?”

“I’ve been waiting for you to say something.” You say as you lightly push his shoulder. “That’s why I always called you before I left for those shitty dates because I was stalling, hoping you would tell me not to go–but you never did. You would only say that I look beautiful and to have fun and to be safe–but never once did you tell me not to go.”

“You know I don’t like making you mad..” He says. Rain slides down his face, droplets falling from the tip of his nose. “And I thought going on those dates did make you happy, you always seemed excited for them, why would I want to ruin them?”

“Because you love me!” You shout, stomping your foot. “You’re supposed to stop me! Had you done that a long time ago we wouldn’t be out here soaking wet from the rain!”

“Technically we wouldn’t be out here if you stopped being stubborn..”

You go to raise your hand to slap him but he catches your wrist in his grasp, his eyes piercing straight into yours. “Don’t do something you’ll regret.”

“The only regret I have is ever meeting you..” You yank your hand away and storm around him.

“You don’t mean that.”

“You don’t know what I do and do not mean, Jacob.”

You start to head back towards the doors of the building when he grabs your hand and pulls you back. His lips crash onto yours and he pulls you in close by your waist. The rain still pelts down on you both as your lips move in sync. He pushes his tongue against your teeth and you happily welcome it inside. He eventually pulls away after a few minutes to catch his breath. His chest heaves against you as he inhales deeply.

“Fuck..” He sighs.

“We should probably get out of the rain.” You say as you tug gently on the open jacket of his suit. He fishes into his pocket and pulls out his car keys before pushing them into your hand.

“Get in. I’ll get our things.”

“Won’t we get yelled at for leaving early?”

Jake chuckles and leans down to kiss you. “I’ll handle it–you go get in my car.”

Taking his keys, you slowly pull away, allowing your hand to linger a little longer on his exposed chest.

Shortly after getting into Jake’s car, he’s jumping into the driver’s seat and shoving the key into the ignition. He slides his hand over to your thigh and gives it a light squeeze. “Can I take you home?” He asks as he leans across the center console, his lips brushing lightly over yours making you want to chase after him.

“Please…”  He smiles against your lips before pulling away and throws the car in drive.

–

“This dress is really making me itchy..” You complain as you and Jake step through the front door of his house.

He chuckles and steps up behind you after closing the front door. He slides one of the straps of your dress down your shoulder before following after it with the other one. “Then allow me to remove it.” He says, his voice soft yet raspy from the whiskey he consumed and his warm breath cascading down your neck like warm, melted butter. “May I?”

“Yes…” You say, leaning your head back against his shoulder. You feel his hands slide down your sides and rest on your hips. He brings them slowly up your spine and drags the zipper back down and allows your dress to slide down your body and pile around your feet on the floor.

“I have to admit, I loved seeing you in this dress but seeing you out of it?” He traces his fingers along the expanse of your torso and up through the valley of your breasts. “So beautiful… And not wearing a bra.. So risky..” He cups his hands over your breasts and gives them a light squeeze, twisting your nipples between his fingers eliciting a moan from you. “I’ve always wondered how you felt…”

“Jake..” You moan, reaching behind you and digging your fingers into his wet and wavy locks. “Take me to bed..”

He hums, smiling against your neck. “As you wish..” He turns you around and lifts you up onto his waist and carries you upstairs. Stepping into his bedroom, he kicks the door shut behind him and lays you down on the bed. He straightens back up and starts to undress.

It isn’t long before he’s naked in front of you, his cock already rock solid. He climbs back onto the bed and nudges your legs apart. His tongue darts out between his lips as his eyes wander your body before stopping on your soaked underwear. He leans over you, his hands sliding up your body before he rests himself on them on either side of your head.

“Tell me you want it…” He presses his lips to your jawline.

“I want it…”

“Want what?”

“Jake..” You whine as you press your hips into him. He reaches one of his hands down between your bodies and presses his palm to your clothed center.

He growls in your ear. “So… Wet.. And that's all for me..” He leans backwards and hooks his fingers through the waistband of your underwear and pulls them off before tossing them somewhere in the room. “I want to play with you.. And taste you.. I’ve been dreaming of it but dammit baby, I really need to feel you all wrapped around me..”

You roughly pull him down on top of you, kissing him as you roll your hips against his. “Then what are you waiting for?” He gives you a quick peck before pushing away and climbing off the bed. He goes over to the nightstand and pulls open the drawer to retrieve the little foil pack. He dangles it in the air as he gives you a smug look.

“Have I dreamt of fathering your kids? Yes, a thousand fucking times.. But having that happen right now? I’m not ready.”

You giggle and prop yourself up on your elbows as you watch him walk back over to the front of the bed. He slides the condom over his length and crawls across the bed towards you and rests himself between your legs.

“Do you really want to do this?” You nod your head. He shakes his head and tilts your chin upwards with the knuckle of his index finger. “I need to hear that one word spill from that pretty mouth of yours.”

“Yes.. Jake, yes.”

He leans down to kiss you before reaching down to line up his cock with your entrance. He teases it a little before slowly pushing himself inside of you. Your moans and his mix within the air of the room as he pushes further inside of you and allows you time to adjust to him. The feeling of him stretching you out feels so pleasant.

“I’m going to start moving..” He heads a warning before he pulls back out for a couple seconds before pushing back inside. “Your perfect little pussy.. All warm and handling me so well..” He gives a few more slow thrusts into you before he starts to pick up a little speed and starts to pound into you.

Your breasts bounce as he thrusts into you, the sounds of skin slapping against skin fill the room. His heavy breathing fills your ears as he buries his face into the crook of your neck. His hands grasp your hips and he leans back making it easier for him to thrust even deeper and hitting spots where no other man ever has.

“Oh.. I did something..” He says. He does yet again and smirks when he realizes exactly what it is. “You sound so pretty when you make those sounds.”

“Jake.. I’m so close..”

“Yeah?” He brings a single digit to your clit and rubs it harshly yet it feels so good. Your back arches slightly off the bed and you grip the sheets within your white knuckled fists. Your eyes squeeze shut as the knot in your core tightens, threatening to snap at any given second and you would allow it. He hold you tightly as he fucks you through your orgasm, praising and encouraging you. He cums shortly after you, filling the rubbed wrapped around his cock.

Calming down for your highs, he carefully slips out of you and climbs off the bed to discard the soiled condom into the trash bin in the bathroom. He comes back out with a dampened wash cloth to gently clean you up. Going over to his dresser, he pulls out a pair of boxers and slips them on before grabbing another pair for you and a shirt. He comes back over to you and helps you slip into the boxers and the shirt.

The two of you eventually entangle yourselves together underneath the blankets and he kisses the crown of your head. His fingers graze lazily up and down your thigh. When you look up at him, he’s already looking down upon you with tired but loving eyes.

You reach up and cup his face in the palm of your hand. He nuzzles his face into it and kisses the edge of your hand.

“Jake… I’m sorry I never noticed..” You say. “I wish I had.. Because I feel like I missed so much..”

He hums and pulls you closer. “You didn’t miss a thing,” He says. “And don’t be sorry.. I shouldn’t have been such a wimp and not just tell you despite my fears..”

“Were you really going to leave me?” You ask.

His eyes fall shut and he nods his head. “But I was also being selfish.. I guess the whole just being your friend was just taunting me and I didn’t want to deal with it anymore..”

“Well consider yourself no longer in the friend zone,” You giggle and shove him over onto his back. “And I’m being truthful,” You say, your voice becoming serious as you hover over him. “I thought of you more than a friend.. I guess I was just afraid you didn't feel the same way. But fuck.. I craved you so badly.. Feeling your hands on my body,” He starts to move his hands from your back and down towards your hips. He gives them a gentle squeeze before sliding back your body and coming to your breasts to hold them again. His eyes never once leave yours. “And trying to imagine how your lips tasted..” He brings his head up and presses his lips to yours.

He sucks you in again, his tongue fighting for dominance as the heat of the moment burns hotter and hotter and igniting the fire in your belly once more. He moves his one hand down your side and around to your front. He dips a finger through your folds making you gasp against his mouth. He slides his finger inside of you, his eyes intently watching every inch of your face, memorizing exactly how it looks as plays with your pussy. You hum out in pleasure and push your body down onto his fingers, hoping to push him further. He allowed it, letting his index and middle finger go so deep until his knuckles were touching your entrance.

He drags his fingers along your walls and curls them. “Oh fuck Jake…”

“Your pretty pussy feels so good..” He says as he pushes his head forward again to kiss you. “It’s like wearing a velvet jacket.. But on my fingers..”

You can help but laugh and he joins. “You’re such a dork.”

“Your dork..” He says. “If you’ll have me.”

“I already do.” You say. “Please go faster.”

“Never thought I’d love to hear you beg.” He says as he pumps his fingers in and out of you. “But I do..” He flips the two of you back over, not once faltering his movements. He slides down the bed and rests his top half between your legs. “I��ve had dreams about you.. This perfect body, finally mine…” He curls his fingers again, a pleasurable moan escaping you once again. “Mmm, you sound so beautiful.. Say my name..”

“Jake…” Your back arches and you grasp the headboard, your eyes squeezing shut as the coil tightens in your core.

“Say it again..” He says before deepening his face into your folds and licking his tongue upwards in a slow motion.

“J-Jake…” You stutter. “Fuck.. Jake!”

Your hands leave the headboard and grasp tightly to his still damp locks. He hums against your folds, the vibration alone pushing you closer to the edge, your orgasm inching closer and closer as he works his fingers and tongue. He soon feels your walls clenching around his fingers and he squeezes your thigh with his free hand and kneads his fingers into your skin.

Instinctively your hips buck upwards, pushing closer to his face. Your orgasm rips through your body, plunging you into the ether. A different dimension if you will. The only thing keeping you grounded to your body was the feeling of Jake’s hand still kneading his fingers into your thigh as he lapped his tongue through your center and inhaled every drop your body could produce.

As you’re coming down from your high, he pulls away. He’s gasping for breath as he rests his head against your thigh. Noticing how quiet you’ve been since you came back down, he lifts his head to look up at you. Your eyes are laser focused on the ceiling and your chest is rising and falling as you try regulating your breathing.

“Are you okay?”

You respond with a simple nod of your head.

“Are you sure?” He asks. “Because your hands are still gripping my hair rather tightly.”

“Oh..” You let go of his hair and bring your hands to rest on your abdomen. “Sorry..”

He chuckles and pushes himself upwards. He slowly makes his way up the bed and lays beside you again. He pulls you over to him and massages the palms of his hands into your back. “How about a nice, warm bath to soothe your body?” He says, tilting his head slightly to look at you. You shake your head and his hands stop massaging you. “No?”

“Uh uh..”

“Okay.. So then what do you want?”

“Food..”

He snorts and runs his fingers through your hair. “You’re still hungry? I saw you inhaling your dinner during the reception.”

“In my defense,” You say, lifting your head. “I was just fucked as if the world was ending and now my body needs fuel.”

He chuckles and gently pays your ass. “Alright, bottomless pit. Go pee and I’ll start cooking.”

“Mmmm, naked?” You say, wagging your eyebrows.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You nod your head, giving him a cheesy smile. “Only for you,” He says, giving you a peck on the lips. He pulls away from you and climbs off the bed before making his way over to the bedroom door.

“Hey Jake..” You call from the bed.

He stops in the doorway and turns back to face you. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

A shit eating grin falls across his face, his cheeks reddening as he blushes. “I love you too.”

_______________________________

taglist:

@watchingover-hypegirl @losfacedevil @lightmylove-gvf @ignite-my-fire @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @writingcold @jaketlove @mackalah @lexii-nv-c @thetroublegetssoloud71 @em-gvf01 @katiegvf @joshkiszkaenthusiast @takenbythemadness @jakekiszkasmommy @objectsinspvce @gvfmarge @heckingfrick @bluemeadows77 @laneygvf @sacredmachine @jordie-gvf-admin @gvfpal @killerqueengvf @jaketlover @jordinlkiszka @alwaysonthemend @hellowgoodbye @anythingforjtk @hi-hi-hello11 @anthemofgvf @gretasfallingsky @songbirds-sweet @wildbluesorbit @klarxtr @stardustsecret @sunandthemoontwinflames @everyglowinthetwilightknows @sinsofstardust @sparrowofthedawnsworld

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please reach out! ❤️

If I missed you on the list, please remind me!

If your user is not highlighted, I do apologize--tumblr acts like a butt 😫

[mxqlss]

ALL BECAUSE I LIKED A BOY. — RM2

jess’s song choice:

instagram sent you a notification!

@yn.ln posted on instagram!!

@yn.ln

“because i liked a boy” is out NOW!! Make sure to stream it on all platforms!! This song was based off my past relationships, therefore please do not come at any of them!!

I just wanna give a big thank you to all my friends out in Michigan, who supported me throughout my whole career from beginning to now! I love you all so much!! 💕💕

Liked by, ethanedwards.73, bestfriendsuser and 163.5K others

view all 1489 comments

ethanedwards.73 we love you too y/n/n!

yn.ln aw!! 🤍

lhughes_06 i miss you 😔

yn.ln miss you too lukey!!

user681 I love how rutgers friends are commenting except for rut himself? 🤨

liked by 1238 others

user12 exactly!! I think she wrote this song directly to rut!!

seamuscasey all because i liked a boy

yn.ln omg casey!!

bestfriendsuser thats my baby!!!

yn.ln i legit love you so much!! 💕

bestfriendsuser ik you do 🤍

user46 rutger is awfully quiet today..

markestapa lowk I might just send this to your exes!!

yn.ln mark. dont.

markestapa okay! (im gonna do it anyways)

ethanedwards.73 @yn.ln too late! did it once she posted

liked by rutgermcgroarty

yn.ln you guys suck

user149 @/ethanedwards.73 omg rutger liked it!! hes defo listened to the song!

instagram sent you a notification!

@hollywoodfame posted on instagram!

@hollywoodfame

It has been confirmed that YN LN and Rutger McGroarty are no long together! It is sad to see them go, but YN LN posted a new song that is possibly dedicated to Rutger??

Liked by user15, user184 and 104.9K others

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user27 this was not on my bingo card.

user17 do I cry? do I cheer? what do I do??

user91 tbh YN does not deserve Rut. Rut can get someone way better than YN.

user19 honestly, agreed

user46 YN was annoying anyways, kinda glad that they broke up

user18 I never liked YN, I dont understand what Rutger sees in her anyways

YN sat on the couch, in her apartment reading through the comments one by one. Most people didnt like her or thought Rutger deserved better than her, even when they were together they would still hate on her and she saw it every single time.

Before she could read more her phone dinged, she looked up at the notification

“hairless cat 💕” sent you a message!

“hey are you okay??”

she looked at the message before clicking on the notification and began typing back to Luke. Yes, she was hurt, but she couldnt do anything about it. It was out of her control and her managments control. It was out of Rutger’s control

a/n:: lowky this is my first time writing again but this isnt realy writing 😭😭. Anyways ill probably post the second part soon 🫶🏼

xoxo, jess

[headcanons-n-shit]

Hello

Your newest post reminded me i had an idea. The bois comforting wol who is having a nervous brakedown from all the stress. Bonus Ardbert.

I really like your stories. Especially the angsty ones.

(TAZ The Breakdown plays in the background)

(Mild shadowbringers spoilers)

Thancred literally (accidentally but still) disassociated so hard from the stress that he gave up his body to the bad guy for a bit. If anyone gets what youre going through, its probably going to be him. Hes not going to waste his time on empty platitudes: hes going to get you a glass of water, a warm blanket, and a hot meal, and let you cry it out on his shoulder for as long as you need to.

(And if that still doesnt help, well. Sex is still on the table. Its rarely a good idea, but hes all out of those.)

Urianger is probably breaking down with you lets be real. Every future my mans has ever read has included world-ending catastrophe, and, sure, youve thwarted it every time (usually with his help) but. What if this time you dont? What if this time you fail???? Its an unreasonable amount of stress for one man to be carrying. He probably does a fantastic amount of fantasy weed to cope and still all it takes is seeing you break down for him to also start blubber-crying.

Graha seems kind of detached and distant at first. "Shower water food" he commands you, in the voice of Lynas grandfather the Crystal Exarch, firm and uncompromising and impossible to disobey, and you might miss the way his voice and smile are strained. The way his hands clench and unclench at his sides. Hes never regretted turning back time to help you save two worlds, but. Its times like this that he wonders if he shouldnt try again to give you a happier ending.

Estinien is a firm hand on your shoulder, a steady shoulder to lean on, because he gets it. The feeling of being trapped in your own body, puppetted by powers so much greater than you can imagine, almost greater than you can comprehend... Youre breaking down for the both of you, honestly, because hes spent so long training the iron discipline to resist nidhoggs influence that he doesnt know how to anymore. This is. Cathartic. For the both of you tbh.

Aymeric wishes in this moment, more than anything, that he could just. Just be with you. Out on your journeys, giving you support by your side instead of from a distance. And he knows, he knows, that the support he gives you is important, that his ability to move nations in your favor has helped far more than any single sword at your side ever would. But he bears the weight of a nation while you bear the weight of a star, and that just. Doesnt seem fair to him.

Haurchefant knows that theres some things that hot chocolate cant fix but. Its a good starting place if nothing else. Something warm and sweet right now couldnt hurt, neither would a soft blanket and a roaring fire. He'll sit with you, bundled up together, and just listen if thats what you need. Or he can talk-- he has plenty of embarrassing stories about Artoirel that he hasnt shared yet. Either way, he'll happily help you wipe your tears away when youre done, and then drop a delicate kiss on your forehead.

Stand tall, he says. A smile better suits a hero.

Sidurgu is surprisingly good at this. Or, maybe not so surprising? Rielle is very mature for her age, but shes still a child. He probably does this whole song and dance every other week. And you feel a little bit like a child, the way he bullies you into the shower and then bundles you up in blankets and pushes food at you, but. Beneath the gruff words and scowl you can tell hes worried. Frustrated. This is exactly the kind of injustice that as a dark knight he swore he would fight, but hes just one man, there isnt much he can do about the desolation of the star. But he also needs you to know that he'll always be in your corner. Whether in this little way or if you need him to help you kill a god, he'll always come when you call.

BONUS

Ardbert has never felt so helpless in his life. He cant touch you, cant be a shoulder you can cry on. He cant even fetch you a glass of water. All he can do is stand there and watch as you break apart in your bed in the Pendants, and its. Its torture, worse than anything any ascian could ever conceive.

Still. He does what he can. And if all he can do is sit at your bedside, his hand hovering half-through yours in a mockery of touch while he tells you stories of his adventures, or friendship and triumph and happier times, well. Its the least he can do.

[strniohoeee]

Broken

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N is depressed, and Matt takes notice to her behavior. Matt being the good friend he is he tries to get her out of her funk, but will it work?🫂

Warnings⚠️: None just mentions of depression. This was a request but Tumblrs being a munch and not letting me add it

Song for the imagine: hope ur ok- Olivia Rodrigo

But, God, I hope that you’re happier today

Cause I love you

And I hope that you’re okay

It’s been getting worse. I hate this feeling, this darkness that consumes me. I wanted nothing more than to feel okay. I hate the way my depression swallowed me whole and made me want to disappear from the face of the earth.

I just wanted to feel okay, I wanted to feel normal and not drained. I know my friends were getting annoyed with me. I would slip into these phases of not wanting to talk to them, see them, go out with them. I mean I could barely get out of my bed to do anything. Often skipping meals and not drinking water. I would just sleep all fucking day and cry when I was awake.

I was fortunate enough to be an influencer, so I didn’t have to worry about actually getting up to work. I posted YouTube drafts and TikTok drafts. It worked for a while, but people started to catch on, and were wondering where I went. I couldn’t even be honest and come out and say I was so depressed I couldn’t even sit up in my bed.

The one person who noticed the fastest was Matt. Randomly one day he started texting me wondering how I was doing, what I was doing, if I wanted to hang out with him and his brothers, if I wanted to join them for dinner, if I wanted to film a video with them. I appreciated it truly, but I also kept lying to him. Telling him that I was busy or I had plans, or I was filming. I could not allow anyone to see me this way. I mean I didn’t even want to see myself this way…..

Matt had put me in a groupchat with Chris and Nick, and honestly it was making me feel better. They kept my mind off of things by constantly making me laugh. I mean they would text from 10AM till 2AM every single day.

The blue eyed freaks🧿🧿

-Y/N can you pleaseeeeee come hang out with us we haven’t seen you in like two months- Chris

-Idkkkk -me

-plzzzzz like you never hangout with us anymore-Nick

-yeah I’ve just been busy-me

-busy??? Yeah right not busy enough to not hang out with us- Chris

-hey if she doesn’t want to hangout don’t force her, but we do miss you and would love to see you-Matt

-thanks Matt🖤-me

-booooo boring come over now, or I’ll come pick you up-Chris

-you can’t even drive Chris-me

-okay….ill get matt to drive me to come pick you up-Chris

-fineeeeee okay fine I’ll be over in a hour-me

-FUCKKKKK FINALLY OMG YES- Chris

-see yall soon<3-me

I had gotten up and decided to shower, washing my hair and just really try to clear my mind, and enjoy the fact that I’m getting to see my friends again. I hadn’t been out of my house in a good month, and this was giving me major anxiety.

I felt like once they’d see me they would know I haven’t been okay, and that’s something that scared me. I had to seem okay. I was never the one who broke down… ever.

I hadn’t finished getting ready. At first I wanted to put on some makeup to hide my dark eyes, but I decided against it because I really wasn’t in the mood. I headed out, and drove to the triplets house. When I got there Matt texted me letting me know that the door was unlocked and to meet them in his room.

I let myself in and walked to Matt’s room.

“Y/N” Chris yelled coming over and hugging me

“Hi guys” I said laughing

“She’s aliveeee” Nick said hugging me

“How have you guys been?” I asked plopping myself down on Matt’s bed with them

“We’ve been good, just filming honestly” Matt said

“Nice that’s always fun” I said

“I love it so much truly, but how have you been?” Nick asked

“I’ve been good, you know. Just uhhh been busy” I said lying straight through my teeth

“Nice, what have you been doing” Matt asked

“Oh you know just filming and editing and just going out with some of my other friends” I said

“I love your hair color by the way, when did you dye it red?” Chris asked me

“Oh like two months ago I need to get my roots done actually” I said running my hands through my hair

“Two months ago? I thought this was recent all your TikTok’s and YouTube videos your hair was black” Matt said looking at me suspiciously

“Oh uhhh” was all I could manage because I knew Matt was onto me

“Okay anyways I’m hungry” Chris said breaking the awkwardness

“Me too” Nick said

“McDonald’s?” Chris asked

“Fuck yes” Matt responded

“Okay Matt can you pick it up for us” Chris said pleading

“Uhhh I guess i have too since yall can’t drive” he said rolling his eyes

“I can drive” I said smiling

“Yayyyy this is why I love you” Chris said

“I’ll mobile order it so it’s less stressful” Nick said

They all put in their orders, and they handed the phone to me. My anxiety making me nauseous and not really in the mood to eat

“Oh I don’t think I’m going to get anything” I said

“WHAT? McDonald’s is your favorite” Nick said

“Uhh yeah I’m just not in the mood” I said

“Do you want something else?” Matt asked

“No I’m not hungry” I said looking at him

Matt nodded before taking the phone, messing with it f and then handing it to Nick.

“Alright let’s head out” I said

“Nick and I want to stay back y’all can go though” Chris said

“Sneaky fucks” Matt said laughing

Matt and I had gotten into my car heading over to the McDonalds

“What’s really going on?” Matt asked

“What do you mean?” I asked glancing over at him

“I know you’re not okay” he said looking at me

“Matt I’m fine” I said

“No you’re not. Your eyes…..I can tell that you’re sad” he said

“I’m just tired is all” I said swallowing thickly

“Y/N be honest…are you okay?” He asked reading my face for an answer

My lip quivered, and a lump formed in my throat. Nobody has asked me if I was okay.

“No” I whispered out in a croak

“Talk to me” he said sitting up

“I just don't know. I’ve been so depressed lately. I haven’t been able to get out of my bed. I’ve just been posting drafts because I can’t even get up to film. I can’t even get up to drink or eat anything. I miss my parents, I miss home and I just feel so alone. You were the first person to text me, and you have helped me a lot actually. You inviting me over was the first thing I have done in a month” I said letting a tear fall

“I’m so sorry you feel that way. I love you so fucking much, and I knew something was wrong that’s why I reached out. I care for you so much, and I don’t want you to struggle alone. I’m here for you” he said looking at me with saddened eyes

“I appreciate it Matt truly. You’re amazing” I said looking over at him and smiling weakly

“Never allow yourself to struggle alone okay. Please reach out to me or Nick or even Chris as crazy as that seems. We will always be here for you….always” he said

“I will. I just was fighting with myself for so long I couldn’t reach out for help” I said wiping my tears

“And that’s okay. No ones pressuring you to reach out, but know that the option is there. I would never turn you away. You know I’ll come flying to you in a heartbeat” he said nudging my shoulder

“I know Matt. I love you so much thank you for being here for me” I said nudging him back

“Also I got you your favorite from McDonald’s. I’m making sure you eat. I can tell you haven’t eaten. I can see it in your face” he said

“Thank you Matt what would I do without you” I said smiling at him

“I’m not sure actually” he said

“Don’t get too cocky” I said pointing my finger at him

We laughed, and I pulled up to the drive thru. We got our food, and we headed back home

We got back to their house, and started to eat in the kitchen. Laughing and catching up. Matt occasionally looking over at me, giving me reassuring smiles and glances.

I spent the night at their house, and I slept in Matt’s room. We watched my favorite childhood movies as he kept asking me if I was okay, and taking small glances at me.

Eventually we ended up falling asleep.

What would I do without Matt?

The End

This was a request, but Tumblr is actually being a dickrider so it wasn’t letting me put it with my story. But anywho I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS ONE🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[cameronspecial]

When Love Turns To Tolerance

Pairing: Drew Starkey x Reader

Warnings:  N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.0K

Summary: There used to be love between Y/N and Drew, but now, she only sees the ghost of their love when she is around him.

A/N: This is inspired by "Tolerate It" by Taylor Swift

Masterlist

Y/N has always seen Drew in colour. The vibrant blue hues of his iris, the slight tan of his skin from days in the sun when he is surfing and the golden glow of his hair from the light coming into the room. She would use her best watercolours for her mental portrait of him. And he used to do the same for her. She could see his love for her while the image of her was reflected in his eyes. Now, she can tell all he sees is black and white when he looks at her. It’s like all the cones in his eyes have transformed into rods, making him see her in a duller way. He thinks she doesn’t notice his small changes, but she does because he is her mural and she knows every detail of it. 

Her eyes flutter open to see his eyes still closed. The soft rise and fall of his chest captivates her. She used to like watching him sleep. The serenity of knowing that the person she loves is peacefully asleep in his dream. Now, she loves it. It’s the only time when she can’t see the plain tolerance in his eyes and lets herself pretend that they are still what they used to be. Eventually, his eyes widen and he gets up out of bed. He doesn’t stay beside her in bed for just a few more minutes. He doesn’t kiss her good morning. He doesn’t chuckle when he notices her gaze already on him. He just rolls out of bed and heads to the bathroom to get ready for the day. 

——

They finished eating breakfast together. He washes the dishes while she is polishing their plates until they sparkle with the towel. She hums the melody of “For The First Time” by Mac DeMarco, hoping he would sing along with her. Chores used to be filled with songs and laughter. They would make games out of who could match their pile of socks faster or who could slide across the freshly mopped floor the farthest. She looks at him and is met with a blank stare. His hands soaking in the water as he removes the sods from the plate. She hates the silence, but it seems every attempt she makes at breaking it, Drew isn’t interested in it. 

——

She returns from the store and finds Drew on the couch, reading Dune. He doesn’t look up from his book. He hasn’t for about a month. Every time she walks into the room she hopes he will though. She wants him to look up at him with the gleam in his and the soft smile she loves so much. She misses it. But when he doesn’t do it this time, something in her just snaps. She doesn’t move from where she is standing, “When did your love turn to tolerance?” He looks up from his book. His eyebrows knit together in confusion but mostly annoyance at being interrupted. “Wh-what are you talking about?” he questions, putting his book down to give her his full attention for probably the first time in months. She feels herself start to cry, “When did you first look at me and saw just the woman you tolerated instead of the woman you love? Or please, tell me that I misunderstood. Tell me that it is all in my head.” Every single thing she has been keeping inside of her until now is finally coming out. 

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” he tries to play dumb. Like her, he is in denial of the changes he felt. He knows he doesn’t feel the same way about her, but she is a routine to him. He is scared to lose something familiar. They are both too scared to admit the truth: he fell out of love with her a long time ago and she is sick of living in this limbo. She shakes her head, “Just be honest with me, please. Because I know something has changed.” “I honestly don’t know,” he explains. “I don’t think it just turned off like a light switch. I think I just slowly started to stop believing you were the one for me.” She knew it was coming, yet it still felt like a dagger to her back. 

“Was it something I did?” 

He shakes his head, not being able to find words to describe his feelings, “No, it wasn’t anything about you or what you did. It was more of a realization. I realized the stuff I thought I wanted in a relationship wasn’t what I wanted.” She takes a second to process his words and feels as though her heart is being squeezed. “Right and were you ever going to tell me? Because we both know it is obvious you don’t love me anymore,” she questions, running her fingers through her hair. He shrugs, “Y/N, I never really thought about it until this conversation. I felt the change but never took the time to examine it. I didn’t want to believe that something was different for me.” “Okay, well what are we going to do now that we are talking about it?” she provokes.

“I don’t know. Maybe nothing needs to change? Maybe this is just a passing feeling?”

“Drew, you may be able to live with your tolerance forever. But I can’t keep being a footnote in your thoughts when you are the content of my whole story.” 

“You’re right. You deserve better than someone who can’t love you with the same ferocity.”

“So this is it? We aren’t going to fight any harder for us?”

“I guess we aren’t. For what it’s worth, Y/N, I really did love you. It just wasn’t the type of love that was permanent.”

And then he leaves in a heartbeat. She is left in tears, watching as the man who was her sky and heart leaves her behind. She knows she is the one to bring it upon them. They probably could’ve gone on for months maybe years in denial, but she knows that when love turns to tolerance, she can’t keep letting her love go uncelebrated. So she had to be the one who broke down the column and brought their temple down to ruins. 

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia

[bloodhoundluke]

i like thursdays

pairing: luke hemmings x booktuber! reader (fc: steph bohrer) description: y/n is a booktuber and and y/n starts to fangirl over luke. things take an unexpected turn and luke starts to become a regular visitor in y/n's youtube channel.

a/n: thank u so much @alonetimelover for the inspo! i really loved your harry styles x booktuber! reader smau, so i wanted to do a luke one myself 🫶 and special thanks to @gladexmuses for always supporting my work! i appreciate it immensely 🤍

yourinstagram

Liked by ynfan945, ynfan103 and 48,963 others

yourinstagram you'll never catch me without a book… swipe to the next slide for a sneak peek of whose book recommendations i am reading atm...

and the last slide is my mood currently bc one of those books keeps breaking my SOUL 🥲 i'll upload it on thursday as usual. so take a guess who the celebrity is in question! here's a few hints: blonde, singer... 🤫

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ynfan95 thursdays are my fave bc of u 💞

ynfan304 A LITTLE LIFE?? is that someone okay??

yourinstagram 🥹🥲

ynfan241 TAYLOR SWIFT???

ynfan382 sabrina carpenter??! or niall horan???

ynfan095 LUKE HEMMINGS FROM 5SOS?

yourinstagram

Liked by ynfan39, ynfan23 and 56,594 others

yourinstagram it's thursday & u know what that means...i uploaded a new video ❤️‍🩹 some of you guessed but...i read books that Luke Hemmings has recommended and that man has definitely faced the things he turned away from...the link is in bio <3

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yourinstagram and hey remember that i won't upload new videos for the next two thursdays since i am on a holiday! see u soon though 🫶

twilightmomentswithlu 'that man has definitely faced the things he turned away from...' LMAOOOO

iknowitwellcal Did you listen to WFTTWTAF?

yourinstagram yes. and it broke my heart in pieces. it was everything.

iknowitwellcal Favorite song?

yourinstagram bloodline or saigon ��

lukesredline23 the taste is IMMACULATE

ynfan405 You sobbing to every book was a mood honestly

yourinstagram i mean...how could you not???

5sos.updates

Liked by calumsshoes, ynfan934 and 2,963 others

5sos.updates Luke talked about the user readwithyn's YouTube video in Zach Sang show which 5sos attended. In case you did not know, Y/N did a YouTube video where she read every single book Luke has ever recommended. Luke revealed that he now has the 'reading bug'.

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pookieluke poor lu got so flustered :( <3

tooyoungtoodumb5sos "I mean, why would anyone read what I've recommended?" I AM CRYING 😭😭

paintedheartonthesidewalk the man needs a confidence boost for real

disconnected!5sos i absolutely died when zach asked if luke had slid into her dm's and he looked so CONFUSED poor man!!!

redlinelrh I need to know if he slid into her dm's or not 🤯

pookieluke i mean it's luke, if he did, he would have reread the message 10000x times and then sent it :(

redlinelrh Or another option is that the boys encouraged him to send the message???

yourinstagram

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yourinstagram i've found my sweet escape when i'm alone with you

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ynfan29 You're so beautiful 😭❤️

ynfan203 Someone has been listening to 5sos I see 👀

yourinstagram yeaahh, i'm obsessed with their entire discography 😮‍💨🫶

lukehemmings A good taste in books and music. Also sorry for ruining your life

yourinstagram you're forgiven if you keep releasing bangers after bangers

lukehemmings We're doing our best!

ynfan45 what is THE luke hemmings doing here????

ynfan91 OH MY GOD Y/N CONGRATULATIONS!!

yourinstagram 🥹🥹💞

lukehemmings

Liked by yourinstagram, ashtonirwin and 390,384 others

lukehemmings On the road

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emotionalblenderluke i'm living for the converse content king

tears!5sos Luke reading Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo was not in my 2023 bingo cards 😳

yourinstagram you're the prettiest man i've ever seen

lukehemmings Any tips to make me prettier?

yourinstagram nope...just do you!

liked by lukehemmings and 240 others

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, ynfan203, and 71,483 others

yourinstagram i traveled all the way to LA see 5sos play. and it was so worth it 🥳🌹💖

View all 204 comments

lukehemmings Glad you enjoyed it 🤘🖤

yourinstagram i mean...how could i not?? thanks for the entertainment 🥰

lukehemmings Of course! Did you have a favorite song?

yourinstagram oh gosh....i loved caramel and vapor!! and ofc ghost of you 🥺🫶 and teeth!! u have too many amazing songs just to pick one

liked by lukehemmings and 204 others

ynfan034 OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS COMMENT SECTION!!!!??!

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, ynfan986, and 89,213 others

yourinstagram i woke up. and went back to bed. this is 3 hrs later. and now i'm late

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ynfan304 you are such a mood honestly

lukehemmings 😳😍🔥

yourinstagram 🥹🙌🏼

ynfan875 You're so gorgeous it's unfair

jbhtilthedayidie Luke is simping and I can't blame him 😮‍💨

5sos.updates

Liked by calumsshoes, ynfan934 and 2,963 others

5sos.updates Luke seen before tonight's show!

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bloodlinelrh who is that with him?

5sos.updates We're trying our hardest to seek information, but at the moment we have no clue. Might be a friend, cousin, whomever who we don't know! The options are endless.

besideash such a cutie ☹️💞

lukehemmings

Liked by yourinstagram, ashtonirwin and 359,421 others

lukehemmings I like thursdays

View all 2,082 comments

calumhood Cool

ashtonirwin Thanks for the information Luke, I really needed it

michaelclifford i swear you didn't like thursdays before, what changed?

lukehemmings 🫣

yourinstagram 🤩🦋💖

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, ynfan203 and 94,297 others

yourinstagram i had the holiday of my dreams <3 since it's over, it means that i'll upload a new video on thursday ☺️ see u then loves!

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ynfan056 OH MY GOD Y/N ARE YOU DATING SOMEBODY AND WE DIDN'T KNOW????

ynfan64 THIS!!!!!

ynfan575 y/n in her lover era 🌟❤️❤️

yourinstagram this is actually the cutest thing ever ☹️💞

ynfan293 Can't wait for the new video <33

lukehemmings

Liked by yourinstagram, caramelcal and 345,843 others

lukehemmings So rad

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slsp5sos34 IS THAT Y/N?? ARE MY EYES LYING TO ME??

ynfan92 There is no way that isn't Y/N???

visceralfeelings I mean Luke’s caption on his last pic would make sense if it was Y/N?

howfarisfar LUKE WHO IS THAT??? LUKE I SWEAR TO GOD WE'RE HAVING MINOR PANIC ATTACKS OVER HERE

yourinstagram

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yourinstagram 🔉🔉 it's thursday! my 2nd ever day in my life vlog is now up! hope you like it :)

View all 405 comments

runningbackto5sos LUKE HEMMINGS WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE????

ashtonirwin Had such a fun night! Let me know when you're hosting a wine night again 😎

yourinstagram of course! loved having you :)

lukehemmings I watched it. And liked it 🤩

yourinstagram yay 🥳

5sos.updates

Liked by mikeysguitar, ynfan201, and 2,963 others

5sos.updates A screenshot of Luke and Ashton in readwithyn's vlog!

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ashtonsunshine Fanfiction brought to life

ynfan39 oh my god i think y/n and luke are together???

oscodefender i hope they are :((( y/n seems like such a sweetheart

hemmingscinema It was so weird to see them just casually hanging out with people and giggling in some vlog?? ughh I just love them?? I hope we see more of them in Y/N's vlogs 🤭

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, ynfan203, and 155,451 others

yourinstagram u guys have been bombing me with questions. so here's an q&a for u little munchkins (with a very special quest) 🧸❤️‍🩹 the link is in my bio!

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nitswmike You picking Lover of Mine as one of your fav 5sos songs is the reason I trust you

yourinstagram hehe thankss!!

babylonluke You should rank 5sos songs next

yourinstagram omg yes!! lover of mine defo didn't belong in the B tier???!

y/s/nownsmyheart I love you and Luke 🥺❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

yourinstagram 🥺❤️

lukehemmings

Liked by yourinstagram, 5sos and 469,467 others

lukehemmings The secret's out. Please go and watch Y/N's newest YouTube video 🥰❤️

View all 2,677 comments

ynfan309 You need to film a video of you reading together PLEASE

lukehemmings Sounds like a plan? @ yourinstagram

yourinstagram i'd love that!

ynfan12 couple goals 😍

crystalleigh oh god you are adorable!! 💖🫶🏼

ynfan395 i'm coming for your girlfriend 🥵

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, y/s/n.islife, and 199,535 others

yourinstagram my fav everything 🧸🌟🎸❤️

View all 523 comments

caramelcal Y'ALL I NEED AIR

ynfan23 too cute 😭😭😭

ashtonirwin You two beautiful souls

lukehemmings And my favorite everything ❤️

yourinstagram ily 🫶

lizhemmings Wow, a beautiful picture

yourinstagram thank you ❤️

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, ynfan203, and 194,435 others

yourinstagram A SURPRISE VLOG! 🌟 we read 6 books that ultimately shattered our hope in the humankind. there's not enough words in the world to describe the journey we went through...i hope you enjoy our rants though, the link is in the bio as always <3

View all 574 comments

lukehemmings Never reading those books ever again

yourinstagram preach 🙌🏼

karma5sos i need someone to read books with too :( even if they are horrible ones

almondmilkhunni literally i have never giggled as much to a youtube video than i did to this lmaooo, love u 2

yourinstagram thank u so much, i'm glad u enjoyed it lol 🥹🥰

michaelclifford i've never heard luke being so passionate about books wth??

lukehemmings I'm a changed man, pal

yourinstagram @ michaelclifford just wait until he starts to analyze books when the tour continues 😉

calumhood Oh jeez, can't wait for that one

© 2023 bloodhoundluke.

[valgeristik]

'Tis the dragon age season, and i am here with a DA Oc Lore Post.

Not about every single one of them (yet? question mark?) but a general...timeline. Mostly about Zea and Lora. An explanation of why i keep saying 'its honestly a wonder Zea turned out as well adjusted as they did'

putting it under the cut 👍 it got LONG (also, Veilguard Spoilers Tm closer to the end of the text, so uve been warned)

Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser List

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So basically, in my heart in my mind all three of my DAO wardens exist at the same time:

Lora (elf mage), Nikolai (dwarf commoner) and Noel (human noble)

(for those unfamiliar with DAO, each of those have their own origin story. i linked the wiki but tbh tbh tbh i highly recommend playing DAO for urself instead. is it old with old graphics? yes. is it an absolute banger regardless? YES.

I tweaked a few things here n there for each of the backstories, but maybe i'll elaborate on that in a separate post. who knows!)

Anyway. Somewhere along the way the team would come across a village in the middle of a darkspawn attack. They get there early enough to save some people, but too late to save the village itself. You know, Blight things.

This is where they'd find Zea, who survived only because, well, turns out they're a mage! and the magic got triggered by the fact that they were sosososo scared. They are also 5 years old at that point in time.

Lora is the one who finds them, which is fortunate, because they DO try to hit her with some lightning. Which she's well-practiced with redirecting. (u know those big AOE elemental spells you can get in DAO? my main tactic while playing as Lora was to just stack those three on top of each other. So.)

Anyway, she calms them down n gets them out of the building that used to be their home. Whatever family they had is dead, and Lora does realize that

1. Zea is a mage

2. and also an elf

So the chances of them being raised in a nice loving environment are pretty low. And let's be honest, Lora would feel incredibly opposed to the idea of this little kid suffering any more than they already did (<- already getting attached)

It's like finding a blind baby bird on the ground and not being able to put it back in the nest.

Zea would also immediately latch onto Lora as the first like. Adult that they can rely on now that their own mother is gone. (i have not thought about their family too much, but leaning towards the idea that they were being raised by a single mother. )

Lora would make them feel safe, even if she isn't the best parental figure, being 19 (JUST had her Harrowing) and this being her first time in her memory that she gets to leave the mage tower and travel the world. And, you know, having to help stop the Blight. She's got a lot going on.

The initial plan is to either find someone in some town who could help, or give Zea to the dalish, possibly. Wynne suggests the mage circle, but Lora is very much against it, for reasons mentioned above. (and some others. like the fact that the Fereldan mage circle was just completely fucking wrecked.)

But they don't find anyone in town, and by the time they get to the dalish everyone kind of decides that it's not been too bad, actually, and maybe the kid should stay with them. Especially because Zea would probably (definitely) cry a lot if they were to be left somewhere with yet another bunch of unfamiliar people.

Zea is pretty much being raised communally. Nikolai is actually the one who's the best at being a parental figure, as Lora...again, does not think of herself as a parent for the longest time. (Which, who can blame her, really)

And Noel is. Well. Noel.

A brief aside.

Zea, being 5, is old enough to remember things from before the darkspawn attack. They would know

their name and surname

exactly two lines from a song their mother used to sing to them when they were scared or upset

enough of their childhood for the memories of it to haunt them on n off forever ✌️

along with other things that will fade away with time, like their mother's face and what her voice sounded like. etc.

Anyway, that is to say, they will develop a habit of singing those two lines from the song to themself when they need to calm down or distract themself or the like. A self-soothing method, if u will. (<- link to a thing i drew about it)

I have this image in my head of this toddler noticing that Lora is having a rough time at some point (maybe just got woken up by one of those archdemon nightmares) and coming over to sing it to her....because even at that young age, they want to help (foreshadowing)

(the song is actually this one bcs those two lines got stuck in my head while i was playing DATV for the first time n then i was like hey. i could use that....... the specific lines are from 0:37 - 0:49, if u care)

Anyway.

The wardens do what wardens do and end the 5th Blight. Yuppie!

The group splits, with some going their own ways, and some sticking together.

Nikolai and Alistair become like the Normal Uncles to Zea, who occasionally babysit them when Lora is off in the deep roads or whatever.

As for their primary caretakers. well.

My opinions have changed many times over the years regarding the question of Who Would Lora Romance.

At first the answer was. No one.

And then i thought it would be really funny if it was Zevran.

And THEN i thought that it would be even funnier if Noel was their occasional third.

She is the cool aunt who comes over a few times a year to give Zea the most expensive ass gift and to flirt with their parents and then fuck off again.

So Zea is essentially being raised by Thedas' weirdest polycule.

No wonder they can't help but disrespect authority. And. Well. [gestures vaguely in their direction] Other Things.

Now, you can sigh with relief, i'm not going to describe every year that follows.

But there are a few Key Events.

1: The Accident

As mentioned before, Lora did not really consider herself a parent. She wasn't cold to Zea or anything, but she did not take a lot of responsibility, and also did not consider how much her actions and demeanor might influence Zea. Who, let's be honest, would kind of end up idolizing the lot of them, but Lora especially.

So, a couple of years after DAO ends (or maybe During? I haven't quite decided yet, but it's before they turn 8), Zea gets it into their head to try and imitate not-mama.

They've seen her stand in the middle of a lightning storm she summoned on the battlefield, and they were like. Well, lightning kinda comes easier than other things, so let me try that too!

And it goes terribly wrong.

They end up almost dying, but Lora is quick enough to react and get them help. (Which, it had to have been someone else. Maybe Wynne. Because I don't think Lora would know or be any good at healing magic, and I'm SURE she felt so normal about that fact in that moment.)

And this is the event that really hits her over the head with the realization of just how much influence she has on the kid.

So, when Zea recovers, Lora takes it upon herself to teach them how to use magic Properly. Which, hey, ends up working out great.

This is kind of a pivotal moment for her, because she realized just how attached she's gotten, and how easy it would be to lose them. And if she becomes a bit over-protective for the next few years...well. Who Can Blame Her.

This is the moment when she starts thinking of herself as a parent.

2: The Talk (the birds and the. archdemon blood)

As mentioned previously, and even several times, I believe, Zea would idolize Lora and the others, and by extension, would think that grey wardens are the coolest people in Thedas.

Zea is also what I would describe as a bright-eyed idealist. They want to leave the world a better place. They want to help people. And most of all, they want to prevent what happened in their home village from happening again, wherever they can.

They also think their mama is Stronger That God And Will Never Die, and they want to be just like her! 🤗

So they voice as much, when they are about 11-12. They tell Lora that they want to become a grey warden when they grow up.

Now, her plan for them was simple: she wants them to live a long and happy life. Which does not go hand-in-hand with being a warden. She also knows she won't be around forever, even if she's actively searching for a way to prevent the Calling. And also also, she couldn't give less of a shit about the secrecy of the order when it comes to her kid's safety.

So she tells them everything. From the Joining to the Calling, every little detail of being a warden, every drawback. She makes it sound as unappealing as possible, trying her best to discourage this dream of Zea's.

What she doesn't consider is the fact that...Well.

Even if they know they will suffer, they will do it anyway.

Zea has an uncommon relationship with death, lets say. They know that it will happen. To them, and to others. It's not something to be afraid of, necessarily, on the grand scale of things. Suffering must be prevented as much as possible, of course, but death itself does not bring suffering with it on it's own. And so, if they're going to die anyway, what's 30 years or so if they can help save so many more lives? To them, it sounds like a sweet deal.

Sure, they could dedicate their life to saving people in some other ways. But the topic of the blight and darkspawn is particularly personal.

And, knowing about the Calling now, they know that Lora will not be around by the time it's their turn, and so will not be hurt by it.

If they survive the Joining, that is, but eh. Details.

(Although they were fully aware they might die. And they prepared accordingly. With a letter to their family and all, in case things went bad.)

They join the wardens when they turn 20, without telling anyone.

Lora only finds out afterwards.

Obviously, she's not happy about it, but it's not like she can reverse it (yet?..).

So, they talk, they argue, they make peace, and she supports them as best she can, while also redoubling her efforts to find a way to prevent the Calling.

The events of Veilguard happen when Zea is 27.

(spoilers start here)

Lora and co. are in the south of Thedas, helping fight the blight there, and so they cannot come and help out.

And Zea doesn't want them to. They want to prove that they can handle it all on their own. They don't even tell their family that they're involved with All That until shit really hits the fan.

Even after Weisshaupt.

(They try writing a letter to Lora to tell her that they're alive, after. They can't finish it, because they hate how it keeps spiraling. They don't need her to come over and fix everything, they can stand on their own two feet, they have a Team, they WILL handle it.

But, damn, they do want that Mom Hug.)

Before all that, they never really encountered a situation in which they thought they will die. Not since they were 5.

It tests them, their bright-eyed idealism, their inherent urge towards kindness above all.

(Yes, they did punch the First Warden. And yes, they did feel incredibly bad for him once they found him in the underground Weisshaupt replica later. And yes, the memory of his death does haunt them sometimes, even if killing him was an act of kindness.)

But in the end, no matter how angry they were at Solas, or how much they wanted to punch him, too, they chose to talk him down instead.

Because, despite it all, they still want to leave the world better than they found it.

Thats it, thank you so much for attending this lecture 🫡

(and also, yes, Noel DOES teach Zea how to stab people so so so well. It's her own way of caring)