#honestly at this point i'm considering giving up but some people were really sweet to me and that's really been helping

[miallurk]

Damn. One thing going wrong and I'm going full mental breakdown huh.

[yourantag]

Do NOT Let Him Cook (Morningstar!Ithaqua×Reader)

AN: Happy White Day! I'm probably not posting more than this and the other fic I was supposed to post Valentine's Day (which, as you can see, I failed in doing) for March. I will, however, be posting a little more in April cause that is my birthday month! Expect a few indulgent fics. This fic is honestly just crack, so if you need something silly and sweet, here we are! Genuinely, do not let this man cook. Word count: 2.2k words Summary: It's White Day, a day of reciprocated love. Of course, Helel has to give you something in return for your wonderful Valentine's gift. Now, if only he could figure out how he turned a tart into a fruity croissant...

There were very few things Helel feared. The first, of course, was you. He held your heart in his hands as you did too, yes, but no one could get him to obey them quite like you could. It was loyalty, it was devotion, one reciprocated through blood and love. To possess such power over him is somewhat of a marvel, something to fear, even just a little.

The second was your death, the thought of you leaving his side forever. He'd tear apart the world, commit sacrilege in the holiest places, and declare war upon the gods before he'd let someone take you from him. Still, he cannot control plagues, time, or the hostility within the hearts of humans. Life is delicate, even Helel cannot deny that.

The third thing he feared, Helel learned, was baking.

It seems simple enough, really. Chuck a few ingredients in, mix it, then toss it in an oven. Easy, right? Looking around him now, with smoke billowing off the charred tray (and wow, he didn't know metal could burn like that), Helel was completely at a loss.

"Ah, these don't seem quite right." He muttered, scratching his cheek. All Helel wanted was to give you something in return for your Valentine's gift, something special. He had consulted many people, even asking some of the prisoners, as odd as that sounded.

Most didn't give any good responses, only saying "please let me go" or "you're going to pay for this." Terrible advice, really. Not even on topic, either, but it could be worse, he supposed. So, he went to ask his favorite person to bother.

"For the love of- just make them cookies or something!" Nebuchadnezzar had exclaimed, absolutely done with Helel's ramblings. He looked about ready to chew his tongue off so he could finally know peace again. At least death wouldn't ramble about their lover for 15 hours straight.

It had been a decent suggestion, so Helel had taken it. Perhaps he shouldn't have, considering the disaster that was most of his creations.

The counters were covered in flour, the fine powder dusting the area like snow. Splatters of batter, egg, and butter painted some places like abstract art. The worst place of all, funnily enough, was the table. It was completely clean, presenting only a few delectable looking treats.

Sadly, they were not exactly what they were made to be. Somehow, Helel had managed to make bread instead of cake, a croissant instead of a tart, and now small bricks instead of cookies. He carefully tapped one against the counter, wincing as the wood chipped under the force. The cookie, however, was fine.

'I... can't give them this.'

Helel smiled awkwardly, wanting nothing but to slam his face against a wall. He had thought "it couldn't be that hard!" and look at him now. It was pathetic, to the point he genuinely considered just asking a servant to make something instead. However, that's literally something he could do any other day. It didn't carry the significance he'd want it to.

You had given him the head of the rebellion's leader, which most would find horrifying but he found terribly romantic. The best Valentine's gift, truly. Sure, he couldn't give you something of equal value, but he could try and match the sentiment. Helel knew you loved effort and thought, so he would do his best to give you something of that in equal measure.

So, he couldn't give up. Helel once again turned to a different page in the cook book, praying to himself that he didn't fuck up this time. He couldn't possibly mess up sugar cookies, right? They were simple, so surely no matter what they'd be fine.

He was cursing himself wasn't he?

He poured the ingredients, carefully measuring them as he went through the motions. It went smoother this time since he just made cookies (if he could really call them that). With practice under his belt, Helel managed to make a tray of cookies.

"Now I roll them in sugar before baking... where's the sugar?" He looked around, grabbing at the jars in front of him.

"That's flour... that's baking powder... or is it baking soda?... that's powdered milk... wait why do we have powdered milk? Oh!" Helel smiled as he finally found what he was looking for. He didn't know how the chefs managed to get anything done with nothing labeled, but that was the beauty of not being a chef. He didn't have to know, and perhaps he never would.

So, he popped open the glass jar, pouring in the crystalline fragments into a bowl. They glimmered innocently in the light, small gems that melted upon one's tongue.

Helel quickly tossed each cookie ball into the bowl, placing them back onto the tray afterward. Making sure they weren't too close together, he arranged them one last time. Finally, he placed them in the oven. The timer would let him know when they were ready.

The man sighed, moving quickly to wash the dirty dishes. He knew he could leave it to the servants, but at this point, he just wanted to get rid of the evidence of his failures. Sure, most of his baked treats looked... fine, but the first few looked as though it had gone through someone's digestive system already.

After all was said and done, Helel felt a wave of exhaustion wash over him. If this was what the chefs dealt with on the daily, he was going to have to give them a raise. All this for some desserts? Really? They deserved to be paid more for this misery.

Checking the timer, he nodded to himself. 10 minutes was enough time to snack on something. Helel let himself drop into a seat, groaning as his weary legs finally got to rest. He grabbed the cake-turned-bread, cutting off a small slice. The cookies were a definite no, and he had his suspicions about the croissant, but the bread seemed fine.

'If I get poisoned from this, they're never going to let me live it down.'

You would absolutely make fun of him. Morningstar, the King of Babel, dying from his own creation. It sounded like a story Shakespeare wrote, really. Helel hoped more for his pride rather than his life that he wasn't that bad at baking.

Taking a few bites, he found that he wasn't dying yet. Which was relieving, of course, but to his surprise, the bread also tasted not bad. Sweeter than most breads, but nothing unbearable. It was probably going to be one of the few things he could actually share with you.

At the chime of the timer, Helel took the cookies out of the oven, letting them cool. That would give him another few minutes to start packing things up. Should he use red ribbon or white? It's a White Day gift, yes, but you told him red reminded you of him.

Humming, the young king started slicing the bread, gently placing the slices in a nice container. Perhaps he should pack some jam in the basket too- it would go well with it.

Helel glanced at the first batch of cookies, opting to dump them in the trash after a brief moment of contemplation. Could they be used as projectiles? Honestly, yes. Was he going to let anyone know he failed that badly? Never.

Finally, he took a bite of one of the croissants. It was fine as well, just odd. The fruit fillings and cream were distributed well throughout the pastry. If it weren't for the fact that it was supposed to be a tart, Helel might have been proud.

Packing those up as well, he placed the 2 containers in a basket, grabbing a few jars of jam and a butter knife. By then, the cookies were sufficiently cooled. Though, after taking another look at them, Helel wondered what he had done wrong this time.

Unlike the first batch, these cookies were puffy. They weren't like cream puffs, but they were certainly not cookies. Had he mixed up which of the powders he was using? He really wouldn't be surprised if that were the case.

The other pastries he had packed weren't made to be what they ended up as, but tasted fine anyway. Maybe, these would be the same.

So, shrugging his shoulders, Helel tossed one of the "cookies" in his mouth. 

And instantly he regretted it.

It was salty. Not salty in the pleasantly seasoned way, but salty as in if he had drank salt water it would taste better than this.

Spitting out the abomination, Helel glared at one of the jars. Of course he mixed up the sugar and salt, of course. Still, he at least had something other than this. He'd just have to dispose of these.

If you didn't find him.

The door clicks open, and Helel can't decide whether he wants to scream or jump right out the window. In the doorway, as he expects, is you. You're always welcome in his eyes, his wonderful, perfect significant other. However, at this particular moment, he really wishes you weren't here.

"Helel? What are you doing here?"

Though you ask, you already seem to at least know he was baking. Not a very hard assumption to make, all things considered, but that just makes things harder for him.

"I was... baking." He says, giving a strained smile as he slowly grabs the tray of cookies. Hopefully, if he's quick enough, you won't even notice him toss the entire thing in the trash.

'Please do not ask about these, please don't notice-'

"Is that a scone dusted in salt???" 

Helel was going to throw himself off a cliff.

"...I was trying to make sugar cookies."

The look you give him simply reaffirms his decision.

"I... see. What's the occasion?" You draw closer to him, staring curiously at the basket. He's thankful he managed to add a blanket on top beforehand, though it would've been nice if he had tied a ribbon around the handle, too.

"It's White Day, so I wanted to give you something special." Helel responded, dropping the tray with a sigh. It was too late to hide it, so why bother?

You hum softly, lips curling into a smile. You grab one of the scones, taking a bite before he can warn you. Yet, instead of spitting it out like he expected, you chewed as though nothing were wrong with it.

"Are- are you okay?" He can't help but ask. He had tried one right before you came- he knew they didn't taste good. So, how was it that you ate the entire scone without even cringing in the slightest?

"Yep, I'm fine. I'm sure you already know, but these are salty." You laugh, quickly grabbing a glass of water and chugging it. Despite the concern he feels, Helel can't help the way his chest warms. 

"Well, yeah, I was going to warn you about that. Can't believe you ate it all- I spat it out immediately. Why did you eat it anyway?" He can't help but ask. You weren't one to shy away from being honest. The fact you looked him in the eye and told him it was salty was proof enough. You weren't scared of him, so why would you put yourself through that?

You give him a smile, tilting your head towards the window. The sun is high in the sky, letting all know that it was sometime in the afternoon.

"You've been here for... I'm guessing at least 5 hours. I don't know how you haven't collapsed yet, but that's not the point right now. The point is," You take his hands into yours, kissing each of his knuckles. "I see your effort, and I don't want to let it go to waste."

Helel, for all his cruelty, his hatred, his grief- cannot be anything but in love for you. To love is to be seen, to be known, and it seems that for all his life, that's exactly what you've done. Seen him, known him, but most of all, loved him.

So, he lifts your hand to his lips, pressing kisses from your palm down to your wrist. He lingers there, letting you cradle his face as he closes his eyes.

It wasn't perfect by all means, but he thinks that this small moment is worth more than anything he could've ever orchestrated. Helel doesn't need endless praise, gifts, or overwhelming acts. All he needed was a bit of acknowledgement, a bit of love.

"Happy White Day, my sun.”

-

ALTERNATE STORY:

Helel did not realize he was that bad at baking. He completely blames Nebuchadnezzar for everything.

"HELEL, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE TO MAKE A MONSTER!?"

"HIS NAME IS FREDERICK KREIBURG AND HE'S SORRY TO SAY THAT HE'S FRENCH!"

"WE AREN'T EVEN IN FRANCE! WHAT DID YOU ADD TO THOSE COOKIES? THE CREMATED REMAINS OF YOUR DAD!?"

"...that explains why the sugar was so dusty."

"...Helel Morningstar Babel-"

"Ahaha... ha..."

Yeah, Helel was going to kill his brother if you didn't end up killing him first.

[maleyanderecafe]

Kaede, the yandere boyfriend (Oneshot)

Created by: Murasaki yukari/Isako

Genre: Smut

It's been a while since I've done a yandere smut translation, but here we are. This one is actually surprisingly pretty sweet considering that Saya does accept Kaede at the end. Very cute. Originally this was going to be something that was translated with the translation group I'm in, but unfortunately I'm really impatient. As always if you like my work you can always donate to me at kofi.com/lunaslurp.

The story starts out with Saya recalling Kaede's confession to her in university. While she is happy about the confession, she also feels really inadequate next to him, wondering why he confessed to her all this time. During their date, Kaede gives Saya a smartwatch, something she initially refuses due to the fact that she had already gotten another gift from Kaede earlier, a necklace. She eventually agrees to keep it, though she does feel bad about it. At her job, she gets invited by a coworker to go out and eat with the other coworkers. She asks Kaede and after a brief questioning of if there will be any guys, she eventually decides to go. During the hangout, a bunch of guys come in and crash the party, with Saya being too awkward to try to leave. One of the guys starts to talk to her and compliment her, making good conversation about a comedy show they both like. At this point, Kaede starts to call her like crazy, with her watch and necklace buzzing as well. Eventually, Kaede comes in person to drag Saya away from the other people, basically getting jealous and having sex with her. During the sex, Saya asks if Kaede does love her, which he does respond with a happy yes. He also reveals that Saya is actually quite popular with people and that because of this he had to isolate her by getting rid of the other guys. He also mentions that her phone, necklace and watch are bugged with a gps tracking device. While he talks about this, he does seem to feel that Saya is unlucky to be with him, but Saya accepts all of him regardless, happy that he has confessed to her in this way. After some more sex, we get a flashback to when Kaede fell in love with Saya in the first place. Kaede had apparently been involved between some sort of fight between the girls, and was talking to Saya about it. Saya states that he should treat himself with kindness as well just as he treats the girls with kindness and falls for her in that regard. The next day, Saya apologizes to her coworkers for suddenly bailing, giving them the money. Her coworkers ask if that man was her boyfriend, to which she responds happily, even complimenting him ina a lovey dovey way. Upon leaving, Saya finds Kaede evesdropping on the conversation with the earbuds he has on, embarrassed that Saya said such things, presumably for her to hear. The coworkers talk about how Kaede is kind of scary, but if that the two of them are happy, then it's okay.

This story kind of reminds me of Yandere Killing!! ~When I told my obsessive childhood friend, “I love you too,” she shifted to the romantic comedy route~, which is the other smut I translated, since they both accept the yandere during sex. Of course, Yandere Killing!! is much more comedic in nature while this one is more sweet, but it is weird that it happened twice. I honestly did think initially that Saya's feelings of inadequacy were actually caused by Kaede, but it actually turns out they both felt they weren't good enough for each other, which kind of adds to that sort of sweet factor when they do end up confessing to each other. Kaede has the general factor of stalking Saya through tracking devices, namely on her various gifts that she was given, so it was cute that in the end Saya basically talked about how much she loved Kaede presumably so that he would hear it as well through the devices. Though as a smut, other than the cuteness factor (both in the story and between the people who made it), I don't really have too much to say. It's cute, the artwork is rather nice and it has some yandere things in it.

Anyways, hopefully you guys enjoy this translation. I don't really have much to say about it, but I hope you do read it because I did take the time to translate it. If you have suggests for what yandere manga to translate from Chinese to English let me know.

[musings-of-a-rose]

Falling Slowly - Chapter 9

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 3500+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: So I thought this may be the last chapter. It's not. Because I'm me.

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**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Falling Slowly Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

Raiders. I’m honestly surprised it’s taken this long for someone to find us. But I thought, or assumed we’d be mostly ok, hidden as well as we are. Joel and Tommy are always extra careful whenever they have to venture out further than our property to scavenge, making sure they aren’t followed. But they’ve only seen people once and that was years ago.

Sarah and Jax move quickly into the hall closet where Joel and Tommy had made a secret hiding place behind a back panel. Tommy hands me a shotgun and squeezes my hand, trying to reassure me that it will all be ok. But I don’t see how it will be. 

The cabin is silent, but getting louder is the unmistakable sound of a truck, no, trucks. Joel and Tommy exchange a look, moving to stand by the front door but well hidden behind the shutters. Rose and I wait in the hallway, staring at each other as we listen as hard as we can. The trucks park and we can hear muffled voices getting out of them. Joel peeks through the slot on his side and whispers to Tommy, but I’m close enough to just hear it. 

“It’s Mr. Jones.”

Mr. Jones? The man who sold us this cabin? We should be ok then, right? I chance a glance around the wall and watch as Joel’s posture changes, his face hardening even though his back is to us. 

“He’s with the Raiders.”

Why is Mr. Jones with raiders? Was he captured? Why would he come here, to a cabin he’d sold us long before the outbreak? 

“What’s the move?” Tommy looks at his brother, waiting to see his reply. Joel stands another moment, watching the men get out of the truck outside. 

“Just follow my lead and stay quiet. If it goes south, take the kids and the girls and get out.”

“I won’t leave you-”

“Tommy.” It wasn’t a suggestion, but a firm warning, and by his silence, I know Tommy complied. 

Joel takes a deep breath and unlocks the door, carrying his shotgun loose in his hands, pointed down, but still ready to go if needed.

“Hey, Mr. Jones. It’s Joel. Joel Miller.” 

There’s silence for a moment before he replies. I have to strain to hear him properly. “Holy shit! Joel? It’s really you?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh! Wow, never would’ve guessed. Everyone make it out ok?”

Joel pauses for a moment, like he’s thinking how to best reply. “We survived the outbreak.”

A chuckle. “Well that’s amazing news!” There’s a slight lull in the conversation, a heavily weighted pause.

“Can I help you all with something?” Joel asks.

“Ah. Well see, I’d forgotten about this cabin, having sold it to you so long ago. Well, it feels like a long time ago. So much has happened…..anyway, I remembered we were setting it up to be off grid and I hoped you all had continued that, maybe have some supplies? I didn’t think you’d actually be here.”

“What supplies do you need?”

“All of them.”

There’s a more weighted pause before Joel replies. “Yeah, I can’t help you with that.”

“Well now, I think you can.”

This isn’t like Mr. Jones. Not the sweet man and his sweet wife who just loved the Miller brothers. Mrs. Jones especially adored Tommy, as she often told him he reminded her so much of a brother she had lost when she was younger. I can hear Tommy grip his gun harder and I glance at Rose, both of us locking eyes in the understanding that we may have to book it down the escape route rather quickly if things escalate. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Jones. I would be happy to trade with you, but I can’t just-”

“You know, the only reason you’re still alive is because my wife loved you guys so much. Tommy especially. He reminded her so much of her brother Gabriel. She wouldn’t have wanted anything bad to happen to you.”

“Is she ok?”

Another pause. “She…didn’t make it past outbreak day.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. She was a good woman.”

“She was. But, now you see my predicament. I don’t want to hurt you out of respect for my wife. And I’m assuming you have a lot of resources, considering I’m fairly positive your brother and your kids and wives are all hiding here too.”

“So what do you propose?”

“There’s no need for bloodshed here. There are many of us and a few of you. Still, I wouldn’t want to upset my wife.”

“Alright then. You and your men can just go and we’ll forget it happened.”

“Ah, well. I do have responsibilities to my men too. They also have families and needs…how about this: we leave you all here with your supplies, but you and Tommy have to come work for us. Only when we need you. We could use your construction expertise but also your, apparently steady trigger fingers.”

A long pause. “Can I have a moment?”

“Absolutely. We’ll be here, in good faith.”

“In good faith.”

Joel’s heavy boots tap against the floor as he moves back inside, gently closing the door almost shut behind him, his peripheral trained on the men he can see through the crack. Joel calls to use and Rose and I join our men in front of the door. 

“Well?” Joel asks, looking at all of us.

“How many men are there?” Rose asks. “I’m a pretty good shot.”

Joel shakes his head. “There’s at least 10. And they mentioned families so I think if they didn’t return, more would come.”

“We could just leave? Throw a few things in some backpacks and head out the tunnel with the kids?”

“And go where, Daisy?” Joel’s dark eyes meet mine. “There’s nowhere around for miles and these raiders are bound to go looking around. Not to mention the damn infected. We can’t give this place up.”

I know he’s right, but still. It had to be said.

“I don’t like this, Joel.” Rose takes his hand and squeezes it. “I don’t want you gone for God knows how long.” 

Joel lifts her hand to his lips and kisses the back of it. “I know. But we have to do this to take care of you. All of you. Tommy?” Joel looks at his brother, but I don’t have to look to know what his response will be. Tommy will do anything to protect Jax and I, no matter what.

“Yeah. We gotta protect ours.”

Joel nods at Tommy. “It’s settled.”

It was almost 2 weeks before they came back, just one vehicle, Joel and Tommy gathering up their backpacks, nerves visible in their features. Joel went around back to grab another tool bag and Rose and Sarah followed him. Jax was still asleep upstairs and Tommy had already said goodbye to his sleeping son. He slides his arm through the other strap and I adjust his flannel shirt, picking at it in an attempt to do something other than cry. 

“Hey.” Tommy lifts my chin with his finger and gently presses his lips to mine before pulling back to look at me. “I’ll come back. I promise.”

“Please be careful, Tommy. I love you so much, I can’t…I can’t lose you. Not again, I-”

“Hey, darlin’. I love you too. I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

He pulls me to him and I nuzzle into his chest, inhaling his scent, letting it permeate my brain as it tries to memorize everything about him. But then Joel walks back inside, handing Tommy another tool bag before moving to the front door. 

“Be safe.”

“You too.”

Rose, Sarah, and I stand together in the doorway, watching Joel and Tommy get into the truck, not knowing when they’ll come back.

Or if.

The first few times they went, they helped the raiders build some additions to their compound, fortifying their defenses and just general maintenance and repair. I had asked Tommy if no one there knew how to do any of this, as it seemed pretty odd that in a compound of the size they discussed, that no one knew how to do something as simple as switch out a doorknob.

“Yeah, normally that would be odd. Except, they’re all rich people.”

I look up at him from where I had been snuggling against his chest. “What?”

He nods. “Yeah. Before the outbreak, all of these people had money. I’m talking loaded. Lots of them telling stories about it. So they’re not used to doing things for themselves.”

“So the rich people are raiders?”

He shrugs. “Guess maybe they couldn’t cope with doing without. So they just started taking.”

About 6 months in, the raiders come to collect Joel and Tommy, this time for an actual raid. They promised they’d be careful, looking out for people and clickers. But I don’t like it. It was bad enough them going to help the raiders build their home. But this?

They don’t return for nearly 2 weeks. 

Before, they were gone at most 4 days. Byt the end of the 2 weeks, Rose and I were ready to go charging the base and probably would have if it wasn’t for Sarah and Jax. 

They returned in the middle of the night, the kids fast asleep. Rose and I were still awake, having a hard time sleeping without them here. But the sound of a truck was unmistakeable in the quiet and we carefully headed downstairs, peeking out the slot in the shutters that Joel had looked out before, making sure it was really them. Joel and Tommy hopped out of the truck, slinging their bags over one shoulder without so much as a glance behind them. But my initial wave of relief at the sight of them quickly was replaced by concern as Tommy gets closer and I can see the hunch in his shoulders, his eyes on the ground. Something had happened. Something bad. Rose opens the door and Joel steps inside, Tommy following behind him as Rose closes the door. They drop their packs and kick off their boots, stowing them in the little baskets we had placed by the door.

“Tommy?” I reach for his hand but he snatches it back, not quite meeting my eye.

“I need to shower.”

I was stunned. He had been on some dirty construction sites, even building for the raiders, and not once has he never kissed me when he came home. Out the corner of my eye, I see a similar conversation happening between Joel and Rose, Joel following Tommy upstairs. 

“What the fuck happened?” Rose whispers to me, her eyes on the stairs where Joel had just been.

“I don’t know, but it doesn’t seem good.”

I pop my head in the kid’s room, checking that they’re still asleep. I should stop calling it the kids room as Sarah is nearly 20 now. But they’re both so attached at the hip, I forget that she’s so much older than him. 

I close our door behind me, hearing the shower click off as I kick off my house shoes. I sit on the bed, quietly waiting for him. Tommy emerges from the bathroom, towel slung low around his hips, his hair wet and curly, sticking to his neck and forehead. He turns to the dresser and grabs a pair of boxers and puts them on, tossing the wet towel in the basket. He sits next to me on the bed, still not looking at me. It’s almost as if he’s..ashamed?

I cup my hand to his cheek and lift his face to mine and immediately have to choke back tears at the look of defeat in his eyes. “Hey. I love you.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I love you too.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t want to give details. But fuck, Daisy, I…we had to do some shady shit and I don’t…But it’s to keep you safe so I will, but-”

“Hey, hey,. It’s ok. We can just leave. We have the truck and we have more time now so we can load it up and-”

He shakes his head. “Joel’s right though. They’ll come looking for us. Especially now.”

“What do you mean especially now?”

Tommy looks down, picking at his fingers. “We were good at our job. Joel more than me, but they liked how good of a shot I am.”

“Tommy. Look at me.” It takes him several moments but he does, his eyes watering. “I love you. I love you no matter what, ok?” He nods but like he doesn't believe me. I place my hands on either side of his face and pull him to me, pressing my lips to his. 

And to my surprise, he melts into me, one hand coming up to tangle in my hair, the other gripping my hip as he deepens the kiss. He turns his body, pressing me down into the bed as he lays on me, kissing down my neck, goosebumps erupting down my arms. I know this isn’t a healthy way to cope but it seems to be what he needs and honestly, I need him. I need to hold him, know he’s here with me, solidly here. He pushes his hips against mine, my back arching as he nips at my neck, his hips rocking faster and faster, chasing his high. His hands are everywhere, sliding over my skin, gripping me, touching me, his lips drawing paths across my body. My fingers tangle in his curls, my legs wrapping around him, urging him deeper, faster until finally lights erupt behind my eyes, my whole body tingling as I moan his name, hearing my own echoed back at me as his hips sputter against mine. He presses his forehead to mine and takes a few breaths before he pulls out, allowing me time to use the bathroom first. When he’s done, he slides into bed and pulls me to his chest, wrapping his large arms around me, my back pressed into his broad chest, his nose in my hair. 

“I’m here if you want to talk, but I’m also here if this is what you need. Whatever you want, I’m here, Tommy.”

“I know. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Every time they leave, I swear a part of them doesn't come back. Joel seems more aggressive. Not to us, but just...angrier. Tommy's shoulder's slump, his smile often not reaching his eyes, staring blankly out at the trees as he relives whatever horrors he's had to do.

It's when the last bit of life in his eyes snuffs out that I decide I need to do something.

I'd always told him he could talk to me and sometimes he did. I know he hasn't told me everything they've had to do, and I don't expect him to. I've asked him to leave before, but he always said Joel never would. That he couldn't leave his brother. But after 5 years, it finally took that last little bit of him I had left. I couldn't continue on like this. We couldn't continue on like this.

I come back into the cabin, washing my hands in the kitchen sink, before I head back outside, walking down through the trees to the dock, knowing I'd find Tommy sitting at the edge of it, glass of water clutched in his hand as he stares blankly out at the water, a million miles away.

"Hey, handsome." I sit next to him, gently placing my hand on his thigh and giving it a light squeeze. He blinks rapidly a few times, coming back to present before looking at me, smiling slightly.

"Hey, beautiful."

I place my hand on his cheek, rubbing my thumb over the bit of stubble that had grown in the last few days. "Are you here with me?"

His dark eyes meet mine and he blinks. "I am."

"Come with me?"

He cocks his head slightly to the side as I stand up, offering my hand out to him. He takes it, the warmth from his large hand seeping into mine as I lead him off the deck and back into the woods, down a path he'd taken me years ago. Albeit I was blindfolded, but I'm not bothering with a blindfold this time.

It had taken me a few days to figure it out, setting up the tent and blankets just like he'd done for our anniversary not too long after...well, after. I thought for sure he'd know where we're going but if he does, he says nothing, his fingers still laced with mine as we walk around trees and over roots. When the clearing appears and he sees the tent, he stops walking. I look back at him and am met with a blank stare.

"Tommy?"

"What..what are we doing here?"

"I thought it might be nice to get away for at least a night."

His jaw clenches. "Shit, did I miss our anniversary?"

At least he remembered why we had been here before. "No. I just...come sit with me?" I take his one hand in both of mine, pulling him slightly towards the blanket I had spread out. He pauses for a moment but then acquiesces, kicking off his boots and stretching out his long legs on the blanket. I kick off my own boots and sit next to him, hesitating before taking his hand again, feeling him lace his fingers through mine.

"I love you, Tommy."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

I told myself I wouldn't cry, that I'd be strong. But when I looked at him, his eyes staring at mine, and I couldn't see that light, I lost it. Giant drops fell from my eyes, splashing against our entwined hands.

"Hey, hey Daisy. What's wrong?" He drops my hand to place it on my cheek, cradling my face with both hands.

"I..can't...can't..."

He pulls me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me and I finally feel safe, secure, like he's fully here with me in this moment. It takes me a few minutes to calm down, but he's patient with me, always so patient, just holding me and letting me sort myself.

"We have to leave, Tommy."

He doesn't move, still for a long moment and so I sit up, drying my tears on the back of my hand.

"Daisy, we can't. I told you, Joel won't-"

"Every time you guys leave, a part of you doesn't come back. I know you're having to do terrible shit, more terrible than the crap you've told me about. And I've supported you as best I can, but Tommy, I feel like you're finally slipping away from me and I can't pull you to me, and I can't lose you, I just can't. Not again. I won't survive it."

"Oh darlin'. I'm right here."

I look up at him. "But that's just it. You're not. Even when you're here, you're not. This last trip. Something took the last bit of light from your eyes and I-" a sob ripples up from my throat and Tommy immediately pulls me to him again.

"You said you're protecting us. But who's going to protect us when you're gone, Tommy? Even if you're alive, you can still be gone. Please. We have to go."

A drop of water hits my cheek, but it's not my tears. I turn my head up and see tears freely flowing down Tommy's cheeks. This time it's my turn to hold him, press him to my chest as he cries. It's several long minutes before the sobs stop, the tears finally drying. My fingers are still tangled in his curls, gently patting him and lightly scratching his head. He sits up, wiping his eyes on his arm.

"I'm so sorry, Daisy. I thought I could handle it."

"Hey. You're so fucking strong. Most people would've cracked by now."

He smiles weakly. "I would have, if it weren't for Joel." His face falls. "He'll never leave, Daisy. He's convinced this is the safest option."

"Tommy, we can't continue on like this forever."

He nods. "You're right. I gotta take care of my family and that's what I'm gonna do."

"What if Joel won't come?"

"He won't. I'll make the offer to Rose and Sarah, but I'm sure they'll stay. But we'll still go."

"You sound like you have a plan?"

He's quiet again, his eyes going far away for several moments before looking back at me.

"Actually, I do. I've heard about this freedom fighting group called the Fireflies."

General Taglist:

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[mazeinthemiroh]

Headcanon how skz would confess to their crush?

how stray kids would confess to their crush

genre: headcanons; fluff

word count: 1.7k

warnings: cursing, i got emotionally invested in hyunjin's and jeongin's so ignore me

pls like and reblog if you enjoy <3

bangchan

there's not a lot helping this man honestly

he spends days racking his brain for a good way to tell you that he is completely and utterly in love with you

should he make a grand gesture?

should he be smooth and nonchalant with it?

he's a libra so his indecisiveness is sort of a given lmao same bro

he even consults stays on his weekly channie's room live, only to be spammed with various ultra cheesy pick-up lines

if you were a transformer, you'd be Optimus fine

he ends up trying to do it on a whim

which is unlike him. he tends to plan everything to a T

but he feels that with feelings like love, there's not much to plan. he forces himself to be impulsive

and it works!

he makes it a casual affair: just two friends hanging out in a familiar setting (chan needed the familiarity to calm his nerves a bit)

and he just came out with it

"listen, i know we've been friends for a while. but i can't help the romantic feelings i now have."

he'd give a little shy smile, his eyes trying to look into yours but he can't hold your gaze for long enough.

"so, i was thinking maybe we could... go out? i'd think we'd be really good together."

lee know

my gosh

it takes so freaking long for minho to confess to you it's actually frustrating

infuriating, even

you guys are practically dating anyway with the way you flirt and feel comfortable with each other

people see you guys together in public and assume that you're already dating

so YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE

but nothing was confirmed

no words solidified a definite bond

so things felt a bit uncertain, even with the definite mutual liking between you both

minho takes his sweet time that's for sure

he just wants to be certain that you like him the way he does too. sometimes he has a hard time differentiating between people who are being friendly compared with people who are actively taking a romantic interest

he wants to make sure his feelings are being reciprocated in a genuine way

it's hard to read people sometimes

once he's certain that you like him the way he does, he will just come out and say it

"hey, you wanna go out with me?"

he would say it with a little, shy side grin. i mean how can you say no to that??

changbin

changbin is not-so-subtle about his feelings for you

it's written all over his face from as soon as you walk in the room

he's wrapped around your finger

and he's confident in himself too

so there's nothing really stopping him from just going up and asking you out

but he needs to know where your heads at before he makes THE move

considering he hangs out with you a whole lot anyway, this comes quite easily to him

"are you interested in someone at the moment?"

he'd ask. and you'd answer, "yes actually." and his plan goes downhill from there.

does that mean you're interested in someone else or... or maybe it means you're interested in him??

"oh? who's that then?" he'd ask, a jealous tone not well-hidden

"oh i can't say," you'd shake your head playfully.

he's suddenly quiet when he figures out what you're trying to insinuate. he'd thought this'll be easier.

you'd give him some help at this point

"but he's got an outgoing personality. big muscles. and a handsome face, too." you'd smile at him knowingly, hoping he'd take the hint.

he almost laughs at himself for not realising before. that's all the reassurance he needs.

"well, from what i hear, he likes you too. a lot."

hyunjin

oh, my precious hyunne

this man would only ever fall for someone who is really close to him

i'm talking best friends, joint at the hip, couldn't live without the type of closeness you share

you're his no. 1

and you know it

spending a lot of time with hyunjin on a regular basis and you know that, just by the way you catch him looking at you, there is something much more than friendship taking place

one time you were sitting on the living room floor with him, laughing your heads off

it was late and night and obviously, the perfect time for hyunjin to do your makeup

because why the heck not

he's making you look like a clown. why did he choose that shade of eyeshadow? and why is lipstick on your cheeks

"you look so much better like this" hyunjin teased in between hysterical laughs

"shut uppp hwang hyunjin!" you tried to push him away and prevent him from doing any more. "just you wait until i do your makeup."

after the laughter settled down he looked at you with a loving gaze. that was when you both realised how close you were together. there was such an immense fondness in his eyes that told you everything you need to know

and soon, his lips were connected to yours

his confession.

han

being close to han is your gateway to his mind

it's hard to imagine that someone like han, who can be quite hesitant and awkward with getting too close to people despite being loud and usually the first one to break the ice

that he could be so naturally himself with you

even as a friend, he's quite touchy. usually reaching out to hold your hand or pulling you in for a cuddle on the sofa

that's how you know that he likes you before he even confesses

he's not like this with anyone

it'd be when you are cuddling up together, pizza all eaten and anime playing on the tv

this was perfect.

han would let out a big, content sigh and nuzzle into you

the absent-minded phrase of "i love you" would slip out in this peaceful moment

and suddenly you both forget how to breathe. you raised your head off his shoulder.

"huh?"

"huh?"

...

the silence was unbearable

"i mean uh... i love this anime. yeah. it's my favourite. i've actually watched the whole thing so i don't know why i'm watching it again. anyways *fake yawns* it's getting late, i might go to bed."

you just chuckled at him, feeling so relieved of his feelings for you.

very smooth, han. very smooth.

felix

i'm so on the fence about him

like i can totally see him being hella romantic and thinking the whole thing through

he'll end up buying you flowers and a box of chocolates, you know, the cliche things that a cute af

and he will knock on your door and present you with these things with a beaming smile and some sweet words to serenade you off to the land of romance

OR

he will confess to you all at once

no warning, no coherent reasoning, no thought behind those eyes

just felix's enfp brain going absolutely haywire, we love to see it

i usually go with the latter for him. because, while he is super duper romantic and wants his feelings to come out in a perfectly curated way, the likelihood is that his intense feelings for you will get the better of him

he can't hold himself back before he even thinks about it

"you're so gorgeous"

he'd say as he looked at you from across the kitchen. the both of you had just finished making brownies together and felix couldn't help but find you the most attractive you have ever been right now

"oh?" you'd say, taken aback by his forwardness

felix's heart dropped for a second. but that feeling was momentary. he soon felt light and happy, and a smile breezed over his face

"yeah" he'd reply, warmly, "so gorgeous, i might even give you a little kiss"

seungmin

seungmin is so precious CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE THAT

he is just so ;-;

anyways he thinks long and hard about confessing to you

which, in other words, means he puts off confessing to you for like so many stupid-ass reasons

what's putting you off seungmin? the candles? the moonlight? the fact that your venus isn't in retrograde???

like JUST DO IT

he builds up to it though, bless him

it's just in his nature. he wants to pace himself STREAM MY PACE BTW

he might warm up to it. perhaps becoming more bolder with his compliments for you

"that colour really suits you"

"you should style your hair like that more often"

"i find it so easy to talk to you, which is a rare feeling for me, honestly"

and soon he's buying you cute little gifts

"i saw this and thought of you"

i mean that's code for 'i love you' anyways but whatever

he finally gives you a very personal gift for you, with a note attached to it: "to the person i love most. you deserve it"

why you gotta make us cry like that seungmin, gosh??

jeongin

jeongin found it harder talking to you in person

he can be a shy bean at times

an absolute cutie-pie

but he didn't want you to just know him for his shyer side. he didn't want his social hesitance to push you away from getting to know the real him

luckily, you had each other's numbers

and the texting was constant

staying up all night just talking to each other. you both got zero sleep but the rush, the joy, the familiarity of these texts were more tempting than any type of sleep was

you got to see his witty, intelligent personality. his sense of humour. you got used to the way he teased you, and boy did you like it

these interactions made it ten times easier to talk to each other in person

but one night, jeongin confessed to you

"i fucking love you btw"

he wasn't drunk. he supposed he was sort of... caught up in the moment. it came out of nowhere.

waiting for your response was torture

he waited, and waited

and waited some more

nothing.

until the next time you met face to face. he was dreading this interaction until you grabbed him swiftly. your lips connected in passionate bliss until you both pulled away

"i fucking love you too"

[thebottomfromhell]

I read your Hantengu smut post from a while ago and I love the dynamic of him being with a teasing partner!!!! Aaaaahhhhhhh!!!

I can just imagine the grief reader would give him. Oops, undergarment flash! Oh, that’s my chest pressing against you! Woah, my hand slipped and gave you a little spank!

Welcome to a new episode of let's bully Hantengu (main body)! On the other hand, I'm glad you liked the post (even if idk which Hantengu smut post is 😅), I hope you also like this one.

Dynamic of Hantengu with a teasing/bully GN reader

Warnings: Slight bullying, Hantengu's... everything (+exagerating some things), Slight exposure of underwear, Implied sexual content and a Non-consented spank (ask for consent irl, people, ask if the other party is ok with it first).

Hantengu loves you, he loves you a lot. You are a spark of joy in his scary, miserable life, with your playful attitude and genuine, shameless, soul, how could he not? The problem is that, sometimes you get too playful, to the point he can keep up with it. Hantengu easily gets nervious, overwhealmed, anxious, scared or embarrassed, so maybe you could tone it down a bit? ....

Nah, what for? Honestly speaking, you like to see him startled, to hear him whine, sob and whimper, for him to tremble at the same time he holds into something or someone for comfort. He is so cute when he does, and so easy to tease you just have to. Just some words or touches are enough for hin to become a sweet mess only for you. Seriously, it's amazing this guy is supposed to be the fourth most dangerous demon after his king, because for you he is "My little crybaby. Do you want some cuddles, huh? Would you like me to make you feel better because everythin is swo scawy for Hantengu?"

He sobs again, burrying his face in your neck as his ears and face becomes each time more red, embarrased but not wanting to let go as you are both a source of comfort and grief. He doesn't even phantom how you can do it so easily, Karaku and Urogi he can get, they are an emotion so they can't really care about anything than enjoying things or do stuff they consider pleasurable. He doesn't know what is worse, when you use words or when you use your body to tease him.

It can be little things, like showing the side wings of the fudonshi over the pants, when you use them, having them showing off more the V line on your lower body. The first time it happened he made a little jump and a gasp, thankfuly none of the clones where there at the time, but it didn't help that you laughed about it, smirking. "Is something wrong? Did you see something?" In that second he couldn't move his eyes away as he started to tear up, you were still putting something on top, so he didn't know where to look.

"No, nothing!" And he looked away... for about an hour as he blushed violently and trembled, eyes closed hard and not a single breath coming out of his body. You laughed about it as you pressed yoursef against the back of his head, since he was sitting. "C'mon, love. Talk to me." He can feel your chest against him, and he starts sweating cold. "Y-Y-Y/N... Y/N your-" he stopped himself, not knowing how to call that body part in a way that is appropiate. "My... what? Tell me." Oh, you knew exactly what, but making Hantengu say it is way funnier. He stumbles in his own mouth, not managing to make out a single word as he blushes even harder and tears come out his eyes.

He is clearly overthinking. "What if I say it? Will it make me look like a pervert? Will Y/N accuse me of being one? I'm not a pervert! I didn't want to look! I didn't! I'm innocent!" And so on as he started breathing hard until you decided to have enough and started to comfort him, making him forget about it. Not that you didn't do it again, the exposed underwear was easily dealt with, he just stopped looking, moving his head everytime you were not using top or kimono. The body pressing was harder to get over from, but he just stays still when you do until you let him be or spice things up.

But then, it happened. Hantengu still has scars from when it happened, he never saw it comming. A normal night, he was just helping with something in the house, can't even remember what, and he was walking besides you, and the second he passed you... he felt it. Your hand hiting one of his buttlocks, making a loud noice as he feels the impact, tensing the second you make contact, face and ears heating up as an unnatural and miserable expresion takes over his face, throwing in the air the towels he was carrying as he lets a high pitched and even louder "EEEEEEEEEEAAAACK!! WHAT WAS THAT?!" feeling everything speeding up as he turns around to look at you, who was looking somewhere else, almost innocently.

"Hm? "What was" what?" He blushes harder as he doesn't know what to say. "You-you know... that." You try to keep your laugh to yourself, some choked chuckles scape, but you only smirk, face hurting in the process, as you ask again. "What?" You really want to laugh as tears start to form in his eyes, he just looks so lost, so cute and it's really hard to pretend you didn't do it when you both know you just spanked him. Hantengu starts to hug hinself as he starts subbing in confusion, a little inner though making him question if you may be actually telling the truth...

That though spirals as he breaks down into your arms. "I-I-I hat-hate you!" He days crying and you just had to tease more... leading to the current state. "Ok, shhh~ it's ok, I'm sorry. I am so sorry baby, I won't do it again, promise." He is having the grief of his life and you are having fun... he really hates you. It's always the same, you tease him and end up also comforting him. Why?! "A love you." You kiss the tumour in the top os his head as he calms down... that is why. He is trapoed like this, can't stand you but also can't have enough of you... he really hates you...

[immoralimmortals]

we hop-skip-jump back with more akatsuki questions! we hope your days have been grand and your songs sweet, tak(?)

if the akatsuki were exposed to the cuisines of our modern, international world, what would each of them gravitate to? would hidan be lured by the cooking of the southern american states, creole, the sausages and cuts and grinds of europe, the whole beasts of the pacific? would itachi look at italian cuisine and feel a deep pang of nostalgia of how sasuke would like this fare? what would these tongues make of our world's bounty?

Hello again! Yes, I'm Tak uvu Some more cusine headcanons for you, dear!:

Honestly I think you nailed Hidan right off the bat. I think he's a connoisseur of meat in specific, if given the time and lack of killing people (so only a world with no Jashin. Probably). I can imagine him, Deidara, and sometimes Kisame having a hot sauce drinking contest. Kakuzu would show up and blow them out of the water once and never participate again. I think Hidan would like beef jerky and pork rinds.

My dad is obsessed with the Red Lobster food chain and now I'm thinking about how Kisame would genuinely enjoy himself while everyone else is only there for cheddar bay biscuits.

My dad just bought at least 100$ worth of Red Lobster gift cards once finding out they're going out of business HE KEEPS ASKING ME OUT TO RED LOBSTER SOMEONE FUCKING HELP M

I've already said in a prior post that Deidara would be OBSESSED with pop rocks. Wouldn't be surprised if he seeks out other kinds of food that give specific sensations, hence the hot sauce bit just now. He'd love carbonated drinks, too. He can bullshit his way into convincing you that yes, Monster Energy Drink *does* require a sophisticated flavor palate! He'd try anything if it had a novelty factor, at least one he can take seriously.

Perhaps obviously I can see Itachi especially enjoying the vast variety of teas that one can acquire in the modern world. My personal favorites tend to be rooibos blends, so I'd like to give him a cup. God, he'd be a great cafe owner. Literal coffee shop AU type of man. I want him to tell me about the floral notes in this morning blend of green tea from the Himalayas. I wanna own a combination tea shop and bakery with him, that'd be the dream.

Kakuzu strikes me as a hardy, heavy food kind of guy. Stews and meats and breads. He'd probably like corned beef and cabbage and potatoes. ...Sorry my Irish in me is coming out. Gravitates to comfort food that keeps you full and warm.

Nagato and Konan are...interesting ones to consider, because whenever I think about them and food I just can't stop thinking about how formative starvation must have been for them. I think they can get overwhelmed by seasonings really fast, anything especially salty or sugary or what have you is in small portions. I don't think they'd deal well with the fact that the most available foods in some societies are saturated with flavor that's overcompensating for shitty processed food. I think if you gave Nagato a bottle of Sunny D it might actually kill him.

Sasori can't taste shit, I think, but if he did he's one of those assholes with PIN POINT PRECISION. Wine connoisseur. Chocolate connoisseur. Will intellectually wreck your shit if you tell him you're making spaghetti and serve him angel hair.

I think Obito would get really disappointed if you told him you were going to get mochi and you came back with the kind you get from the grocery store.

Zetsu still eats people, I can only presume. He might be interested in foods related to "stranger" body parts, brain cheese and haggis, that sort of thing.

Side note: several years ago when I first entered my never-ending Akatsuki phase, I read a really, really cute self insert or reader insert fic where the Akatsuki came to the "real world" and they watched Spongebob and Kisame made what the story described as an adorable face as he was shown how a soda can works. I've been looking for it and my heart yearns to reread. If you happen to find it, please let me know!

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Loki Loki Literature Club

We're back! Yay! And what a chapter to come back on. We don't get this a lot in One Piece, but here we have a chapter where Luffy spends the bulk of it alone in a tense conversation with a powerful yet nebulous figure. A nebulous figure that picked a great way to get under Luffy's...sorry Loppy's skin here. This is such a cool moment in this series to me. Why?

Because it kinda feels like Loppy's on the other side of this than he'd usually be. We're in a country he already likes, someone they decided to chain up is trying to build a buddy so he can fuck shit up. But honestly Loki's kinda the rude little shit here while Luffy? Let's talk about Luffy here.

So let's consider the last three arcs and how they started. WCI the crew gets played by one of Big Mom's daughters. Wano you have a segment with many similarities but it's unwittingly finding one of the Akazaya Nine. Similar skillset but you start from neutral. The concepts there are put to an interesting test in Egghead and buddy you get suckered in. Now you're sitting here with a chained, Emperor-level threat who is probably just trying to get you to release him. Here, fun comparison:

See what I'm getting at here? Loki's about to find an in with you Loppy...did you learn the lesson from the two actresses? That some people are really good at hiding their true intentions, even from someone as perceptive as you? I'm not harboring any serious delusions you still smuggled someone out of Wano but there were still weird story beats and things like Academy kinda pulling the same trick with Kiku & Yamato, so I still have that feeling you could fit in somewhere. And we already identified potential with Shanks. Especially with the cover serial giving us a solid chance to line up Yamato's post-quest spur to Ringo with a little further into Elbaf.

If it all came together through Hajrudin at that point...that'd be fuckin cool because the Grand Fleet's update serial was rolling Act 1 of Wano. Which gets to my real point with all this. Luffy...bruh, please use your head. You have allies here. If Shanks was around the guy chained to the tree probably isn't even the best guy to ask about it and almost certainly isn't the only one because he didn't even bring it up!

Be calm, or you're going to walk right into another Egghead Incident you have nothing to do with.

Hey look, someone even got a haircut! There was other stuff this chapter. Oh my god this was sweetness. Brook did so well. Robin went back to her old bangs because of Saul who better not seriously fucking die right now. You are not about to Sunflower Samurai me here for our sweet sweet Nico Robin but you hurt me so so bad with Izo Oda...

You had that and a little advancement for the rest of the landing crew hiding from the New Giant Pirates. Which along with Loki mythos give this chapter a lot of dramatic irony. Love that shit. We'll surely see how these stories play out but I'm really interested in what decision Luffy makes here.

[parkminijiminie]

First of all, welcome back!!! I missed you so much!! Your blog is a gem!!! -and are you gonna be back permanently or are you taking another break? Second of all, I haven’t watched the travel show but I saw a lot of clips and honestly, they just seem like friends. Yeah there is some moments where you’re like wow wtf is going on here but if u look at it from a different lense, it seems like friends enjoying time together because of them were busy with their own lives. I also didn’t expect jungkook’s personality to be like that. Obviously idk him in real life so I can’t really know how he acts in real life but idk he just seems weird? But I don’t think there is anything between them. Most jikookers were excited for this how because it was gonna prove that they are in a relationship but honestly they are just grasping at straws at this point, and so am I guess. All the big fandoms had band members ships like on direction and many kpop fandoms ship two members on the group too like winter and Karina from aespa although she was dating that actor💀 and finally I would just like to say that jk was hanging out with tae more than jimin although I think that jk’s friendship with tar isn’t really anything special except for bros having fun but yeah, seems weird. Sorry my thoughts are all over the place lol.

Hi! I am sort of back. I lurk around and react when I have the need to discuss smth with other people. Otherwise, I just long on and read what other people are saying. I think I will never be active full time because I simply don't have the time, but I love this space a lot, so I'll never really leave either.

To me, JM and JK look so far as people who were once a romantic item but no longer are, but remained in each other's lives just more distantly. The whole show looks to me like them, trying to deepen their bond and friendship again. I think during the time the US episodes were filmed, they were both single and probably spending the most 1:1 time for months, so some of their usual old tendencies resurfaced, like old habits. I am very curious to see the other episodes. I know lots of people are waiting for the show to give answers about the nature of Jikook's relationship, but I don't think we will get them but we could at least maybe see that made them enlist together after barely spending time alone in the beginning of the year.

JK definitely spent a lot more time with Tae in 2023 compared to previous years, but I don't think their relationship is especially deep. They're buddies and share similar interests. They were also free at similar times, but I'm not sure there is any deep emotional connection there. The fact that JK called Tae definitely surprised me, but then we all saw how rudely JK hung up on him. I'm finding it hard to say where JK's head was in the first half of 2023, and I sort of can't really connect to JK of Jan-July 2023 like I did in the past. It seems to me he was very determined to be this cool, successful man at that time. It's also interesting that JM didn't spend time with neither him nor Tae up until July last year. That's also unusual.

Shipping aside, these two episodes really made me appreciate JM even more. I've always known how gracious and sweet he is, but he was such a good sport even when very sick, so appreciative, mature, yet fun and light and emotionally present. My standards when it comes to him are always high, and he somehow always manages to surpass them. I think he would be a great influence on anyone, and he especially well balances JK. It's sort of sad how I am already seeing people using JK's words to attack JM when Jimin was such a supportive friend for JK during this whole trip. I appreciate JK saying he is "obviously grateful" that Jimin came. Maybe he already had told that to JM many times, but it was important for the audience to hear it as well, considering how JM gets hate for "forcing JK to go on the trip" 🙄

[shining-gem34]

SHIPPING INFO. Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse(s)?

Hm! I won't say it here, because I don't want to give the wrong impression. I will say I do have a few OTPs! My close friends/besties already know my bias!

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

Excluding the big NO-NO (r*pe, non-con, underage sex, and etc.), I'm pretty open and willing to try a variety of things for shipping. It can go from fluffy/playful to angsty next. On that note, I am also open to exploring toxic ships/red flags as well. :3

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

As someone who RP's muses who are either in the three digits or immortals, I can safely say as long as they are both ADULTS who are consenting, all is good. I will say NO if our muses have a parent/child bond like Muse A has raised Muse B since they were a kid, or anything similar to that.

Are you selective when shipping?

In general, it's a yes.

Mostly because I don't get home until the evening and by then my energy is pretty low. It takes time for me to sit down and focus on tumblr replies. Too many things happening can feel overwhelming for me, especially if I think about making sure shipping with the same muses are different/varied. It hasn't happened yet as my activity levels here are random! But I am thinking it about now and rjrbrjrhrje Y e a h. That is why I made the shipping rule for new people who are following me the first time.

Otherwise, if we're already friends, chances are we already went feral about the characters/ship. I don't mind going straight into pre-established ship or RPing (plotting) how they got together. I'm not picky in that regard.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

I don't think I have reached that point on this site. If I do, I would say the moment they start stripping while kissing and getting handsy with each other. Maybe there's touching the private parts. At that point, as I try to follow my own rules, I would probably move the full NSFW into DMs/IMs.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

Uh. For reasons, I'll keep this short and sweet:

For everyone who saw read my ramblings in DM's or I drop something and leave like a rat, thank you so much for indulging me. <3 I had so much fun coming up with fluffy, silly, and angsty stuff for our muses together!

And it doesn't have to be just romantic too! It applies to platonic/familial muses too!

I do hope we can continue this and watch out muses get into shenanigans together. <3

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

Preferably, yes! If you don't tell me, then I won't know!

How often do you like to ship?

I'm thinking hard on this, because both outside and inside here? Not alot honestly. I do think about shipping however it usually ends up being brief and passing entertainment. So I don't really have alot of ships I am committed to.

Are you multiship?

Yes! It's surprisingly refreshing thinking of each ship being it's own thing and not a bunch of connected events. <3 I definitely enjoy the dynamics of each ship too!

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

I say ship more-or-less than ship-obsessed. I don't actively seek out people to ship. Also it's too much for me to handle checking too many things happening at once. So, I'm usually committed to a few ships and if something develops naturally, or I feel something is happening? Yeah, I'll ship. :3

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

Me x Dan Feng

Finally, how does one ship with you?

I would say just be direct and ask if we can ship our muses together. I will say "yes" most of the time, especially if we have been plotting in the DMs and have a few IC already). If not, then yes I would like to discuss it first and get some IC interactions going. I always have a meme tag for a bunch of memes I've reblogged to break the ice, or starters if you prefer that!

Because, the more we talk about our muses dynamics and each other, I am more likely to fall in love and turn feral! I will be 100% on board shipping them! Like moreso if it's a character I am neutral about it's a BIG WIN because YOU made me love them!

Trust me it happened like....3-4? times now since I started this blog. I love it when people have so much love for their muses I just support them and fall in love too!

Tagged by: @memovia, @etherealguard, @grislyintentions Tagging: You!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Poly!Cruella De Vil and James Nolan/Prince James x Reader || Headcanons

Plot: These two together totally skeeve me out but I just find them as a concept so amusing!! And I'm glad they found eachother XD So, poly relationship HC's are a must.

Warnings: These two are complete freaks. So there are nsfw themes throughout. Kinks include heavy Mommy Kink, James is her bestubbled 'Golden Boy', Pet Play mentions, domestic kinkiness (the way you all act is not just sexual at this point, it's just your dynamic), etc. Also obnoxiously cutesy nicknames like 'Jamesy-poo' XDD That's definitely a warning! And feelings, which sneak up on you (: By the time you realise, its too late XD

This was a blast XD

<3 <3 <3

Alright so Cruella is definitely!! in total control here. She's the Boss. The Dom. The Asmodeus to yours' and James' Fizz, to you Helluva Boss fans.

The Mommy of your little 'family', basically.

Then James is her 'Golden Boy'/naughty boy, and you are their sweet, sweet pet. So like, James is a little bit higher up in the procession of power then you, but not by much.

Often its her directing the two of you equally, but occasionally she'll ask James what he thinks they should do with you, or leave you two to 'play on your own'- and she makes it clear that Jamesy-Wamesy is in charge, while she's away.

"Sweetheart stay with darling Jamesey-poo, mommy has some work to do." - Cruella, whenever she has to go do some Evilness.

When you're cold its really a toss-up; Cruella may actually give you some furs to wear (This version of her really likes the idea of branding you~ ) or you might get James' jacket. His prince jacket! Ahh <3

Cruella may have you dressing like James eventually. She thinks its cute if her two playthings have a uniform.

If you'll remember, James left his old flame Jack to die at the top of the beanstalk, totally heartless- but let me tell you, Cruella has that man so whipped he wouldn't even think about doing that to her unless there was a HUGE pay out. You, he may consider abandoning. But one nasty look from her and he'll save your sweet ass like the prince he was groomed to be. He does love you (As much as he and Cruella can love at least), its just that (In the words of his Wiki Page) he's inherited 'King Georges lack of empathy and ruthless personality'.

You and Cruella watching James fight with David-

You: Oh god, which one's James?? Cruella: The ruggedly handsome one. You: I- which one!? Who's winning?? Oh, ow! Who just got punched in the jaw?? Who's the one bleeding? Cruella: Oh, you tell me! They look exactly the same, darling! You: *deadpanned at her*

You and James have an odd relationship where you kinda argue a lot, when you're not being their obedient 'pet'. You're very snarky with each other and it makes Mommy Cruella roll her eyes- but she loves it. She loves being the 'favourite'.

Cruella, to David: Jimmy has always resented you for being the one that those horrible parents of yours kept... You: ... ehhh, I don't think he's that deep actually. I think he's just sore he had the best sword lessons in the enchanted forest and still got killed by a Behemoth. Cruella: Darling- You: ... and also David got a castle. And people like him. and I don't know how identical they are under the clothes but I bet his dick is bigger, too, honestly. Cruella: 🙄 Darling... You: aM I wRoNg???? Cruella: *Sigh, turning back to David who's very understandably uncomfortable* My darlings are such a pain sometimes... anyway Sheriff Stubbles, where were we?

... You and James fight over Cruella often. Who gets to make her drinks, who gets to kiss her first, who gets to go down on her (You've been known to actually trip that asshole off the bed before and he has dragged you to the end of the bed and tied you to the bedpost before. All the while Cruella just sits there all pleased with herself~~ Maybe acting annoyed a little, but acting badly XD), etc.

That doesn't mean you two aren't very fond of each other, though. Its mostly fun, and foreplay (;

Cruella and James are both allowed to have 'fun' with other people (Whether that be actually going out and sleeping with others or just that- 'fun'. Like when Cruella pretended she though David was James and when James pretended to be David to kiss Snow), but let me be clear- you are not.

Cruella: Darling you're like our faithful Rottweiler, aren't you?? You would never hurt us like that. You could never be pleased by anyone else but us. Hm?

James: Yeah, and no one else would put up with you, either *eyeroll*

They don't actually do it very often though, mess around with others. They're both quite content with this relationship right here! Not that either of them would admit it.

<3 <3 <3

[66sharkteeth]

Okay, I'm sorry because I know I already talked about this on webtoon but I am shaking your hand SO HARD for coming up with That name for Bag Girl.

[pepe silvia mode engaged]

Lyss's full name is Elyssabeth, which is derived from Elisabeth. Elisabeth is connected with Isabel/Isabella, or Bell for short if one were so inclined. This is a very cool way to show Bell's connection to Lyss while keeping them as two distinct people.

Also, the idea of choosing a name associated with sweet, pleasant sounds for a mute character who's only recently started coming out of her shell and finding her "voice" (both via becoming more talkative and writing more, and via Rex teaching her sign language so she doesn't have to rely on the notebook as much) and turning out to be such a sweet, lovely lass with so much to say is just really cool. She's not hiding behind a paper bag anymore, she's here and and she's wonderful and she's got things to say!

Also, as some people have pointed out in the comments, possible Beauty and the Beast undertones with her and Rex maybe potentially possibly mayhap.

All in all, I had no idea what name you'd end up giving Baggles, or if she'd even get one in the first place, so Bell was an absolutely delightful surprise that swept me off my feet! It's got such a lovely ring to it and the fact that it was Rex's idea is just... so him. Blank Lyss? Blyss? Bee ell??? Hmm, Bell! That sounds good! Another hit from the guy who named his dog Shnee.

Bottom line: I LOVED this new chapter!

*sips my morning coffee and tries to wake up my brain cells so i can give this a proper response*

So uhhh... I'm happy that her name happened to be so fitting in all the ways you explained...but truthfully I named her exactly how Rex did LOL.

Kind of literally... I think if /I/ had named her, she would have been named something else. In all honesty, I'm not super crazy about the name Bell (tho I'm glad everyone else likes it!). But it wasn't /me/ naming her, it was Rex, so I had to name her something that Rex would come up with, and honestly she's lucky she wasn't named something like Lyss 2 or Shnee 2 or Shnoo. Naming her "Bell" through basically the same means as that Family Guy "Pea... Tear... Griffin" gag is just the only thing that felt on brand for Rex, while still giving her a respectable name.

Fun fact, I also seriously considered naming her Marty, short for Martella. I actually...still kinda prefer that one personally, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be as popular. Also, Bell ended up working out w/ her design bc if you look at her s4 design, it's very intentionally bell shaped!

[moddeydhoo]

bow i wanna hear your thoughts on narrator chara lol

:D That's sweet of you! I was honestly expecting my previous UT post to be either ignored or flamed into pieces, haha, but a few people seem to have liked it.

Well, won't bury the lede here: my thoughts on NarraChara are basically "it's a nice idea, but it's wrong".

(Full warning that I don't have the spoons to drag up lots of screengrabs just now. In this post I just ramble a little bit without posting pics.)

Vibes-based NarraTobism

I call my take on the narrator's identity NarraToby, though just for brevity and not to suggest Toby inserted himself as a character into the game (would that be called dogegesis? A DPC?) to narrate.

Toby's brain is lovely and subtle and silly, and he'd be capable of making the narrator their own person, Slay the Princess style (or Homestuck style, more fittingly, considering his pomerorigin story), but I just don't agree he crafted Undertale's text in that way. Vibes no check out. I've written, read and watched things that play around with narration, and you really kinda have to have a concept like that in mind from the beginning. It's a huge amount of work to keep it in character, and frankly, I think Toby would have done it better if that's what he intended.

(There'd also be more about it in Legends of Localisation, I feel like. Every character's dialogue was carefully fitted to their personality upon translation. IS THE NARRATOR ORE OR WATASHI TOBY WE NEED TO KNOW. YES THEY USE A PRONOUN IN "I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING")

I warned that this is mostly vibes-based ramble, so... to me, it doesn't feel like every instance of Undertale's non-dialogue text is from the same POV. Sometimes it's omniscient-seeming, peeking at an opponent's thoughts or going into detail about what brand of cosmetic they're dabbing behind where, and sometimes the narration describes the world from Frisk's more limited point of view (lol height joke short nerd). Sometimes it's outright holding your hand and giving you hints (no, really really, talking will do no more good here, try something else). In a game, the text has a lot of tasks to do, some semi-contradictory even.

In In Stars and Time, the tutorial is spoken to you by the characters in your party and other hints are also spoken to you by a named character. That's an example of it being done deliberately. And Slay the Princess, of course.

A lot of Undertale's narration isn't stuff the First Fallen Then Rezzed Human could reasonably know. Was Papyrus born when Chara was around? They have been dead, and/or a bit of them has been stuck inside a goat inside a flower, all this time. Our determination was what raised them from death, they tell us; ours in particular and not the other children's. It doesn't seem like they were doing much of anything before we landed on their oft-squished grave. At this point they need to be a ghost and psychic, and have the game's design documents on hand, and be able to read Toby's spaghetti code to tell you the monsters' stats, and...

(also when tf did Chara read Kitchen)

Dare I say it's not that serious...? aka Unnrtall Funni

Discussing NarraChara is made harder by UT's general goofiness. Fourth-wall breaks and commentary on game mechanics leak more than once into character dialogue (Paps, I'm looking at you, mister "hold up to jump higher" dating HUD guy). This happens for spoops as well as goofs, such as when you accidentally kill goat mom and panic and feel horrible and load the game and she says something that suggests she remembers what happened and then you TOTALLY get got by Flowey afterwards and no that didn't happen on my first playthrough why do you ask (it did).

Goofiness is also why I feel things like Blooky responding directly to narration text ("oh, i'm real funny") shouldn't be taken as serious. It is really cute to imagine a ghost exchanging banter with the other ghost over your shoulder—like I said, I do see the appeal. I just don't think it works overall.

SIDE NOTE! If you want a fangame that uses this concept (ghost Chara, not NarraChara), download PS!Outertale and make sure you explore Toriel's home very thoroughly (hint: 1 is too high).

Trying to assemble a coherent personality for the narration text, when the entire game occasionally messes with you just for fun, feels like a doomed project.

Red text is them, though, right?

Yeah, I feel like that's very much intentional. As far as red text goes on the murder route, we're all correct that this is meant to be understood as PlayerName/Chara's dialogue.

Butttttt I don't necessarily think it represents their unaltered personality. By the time any red rext shows up, you've cleared out the Ruins to "nobody came" levels, so plenty of murder has already happened.

The murder route is the process of fully overriding Frisk's personality, forcing them into a true player analogue in an intentional mirror of the true pacifist route, as much as it is the process of teaching Chara the true meaning of this world. Chara outright tells you this at the end: at first they were confused, but now they see that the point of life is Number Go Up. You showed them that.

(All this is why I think it's good to keep in mind that the expected Undertale experience is playing with your own name for the human. [child pops up] "Greetings. I am PlayerName. Aaaaaand it's time to grab your knives and get ready for the wall dance because today we're 100%ing Undertale!")

In other words, Pacifist teaches one sibling that the world is better than he thinks. Murdercide teaches the other that humanity is exactly what they think. "Don't kill and don't be killed" vs. "Actually, kill". ("Be killed" is just rage-quitting because you can't figure out the Mettaton fight because you forgot the yellow soul could shoot and you thought the idea was to get the ratings to zero so he'd go off air and no I didn't have to look up help with that fight on my first playthrough why do you ask (I did).)

Headcanony murder route stuff rambling from previous

If this even still counts as a NarraChara post, it's sort of wandered onto the murder route ending monologue now, so you're welcome to peace out here. ♥

This part'll get headcanony, but to me, Chara was a troubled child who hated humanity, in a childlike way, and did not hate monsters. I don't credit the fanon about them intentionally poisoning their dad; they just reacted with apparently low empathy to his illness, while filing the consequences of their mistake away for later.

The one person Chara ever directly killed was not a monster and it wasn't murder.

Their desire to see monsters go free feels genuine to me. In the planning stage, whether or not they intended to murder any humans for their souls (it's not super clear; maybe they thought they could sneak into a hospital and kill-steal their way to victory), in any case, they weren't out to kill more than six. Chara's goal was a focused one: free monsters. Any dabbing on humanity, such as placing their body back in their village as a giant "frick you", seemed to be secondary (and something explainable as them being, y'know, a child who felt the need to climb that mountain).

My take on the murder route is that it's a process of retraumatising the child by making them watch their family and subjects die. Starting with their mother! Chara loved Toriel, if their speech patterns are anything to go by. (Ever noticed Asriel says "Howdy" and Chara says "Greetings"?)

Anyway, Chara is intelligent, pragmatic and self-determining, and so they intellectualise the horror that's happening to them in such a way as to assign themself agency. I am the one in control. Yes. I must be doing these things. I... am the demon.

Right?

This end screen could use more nines. ♥

he literally pUT THEIR DIALOGUE IN RED TEXT TO EMPHASISE THE DIFFERENCE and I know we're a fandom starved for content but seriously how badly is it possible to overcomplicate tHE BIG RED TEXT

also Chara was a good kid and I will mercy u all

[grishaverse-chaos]

Zoya for the ask game <3 (I'd love to hear your opinions on my favorite character)

omg tysm for the ask! (and to anon who also suggested zoya, sorry it took me so long to get round to it 😭)

why I like them: honestly she's just so fucking iconic, but I love how she's amazing and badass while not being one-dimensional! like she has flaws and she has trauma and insecurities and none of that takes away from her positive traits!!

why I don't: idk I feel like she has some ideas that I would disagree with - I haven't re-read the books in a while but I always got the vibe that she's pretty pro-military and particularly in favour of the second army. and like I get it! fun light-hearted fantasy books are not obligated to deconstruct entire social systems! but if I met her irl I think we'd argue about it lmao

favourite episode/scene: I love the scene in s2 where she agrees to ally with alina! I think it's really sweet and shows her character development

favourite season/movie: in terms of the books, I think she's best in the kos duology - as fun and iconic as she is in the s&b trilogy I think the backstory and development she gets in the later books really enhances her character

favourite line: oh this is so niche but “none of this had been fated; none of it foretold. there had been no prophecies of a demon king or a dragon queen, a one-eyed tailor, heartrender twins. they were just the people who had shown up and managed to survive. but maybe that was the trick of it: to survive, to dare to stay alive, to forge your own hope when all hope had run out. for the survivors then, zoya whispered to herself as the people before her knelt and chanted her name. and for the lost.”

I love the theme of fate/destiny vs free will in the grishaverse and this is honestly one of my all-time favourite quotes - I'm actually considering having part of it as my yearbook quote!

favourite outfit: ooooh I love her outfit for the shu han heist in s2 (although obviously, honourable mention to the blue ribbon™ just for being iconic)

otp: see my answer is different for fanon and canon. in canon I adore zoyalina, in fanfic I love zoyalai!

brotp: zoya and genya are literally the BEST friendship duo ever (although I also low-key ship them romantically). zoya and nina are not necessarily a good friendship but I love analysing their dynamic so they get an honourable mention anyway. oh and her cousin lada, the girl liliyana adopts - we barely see them interact but I think they would have had such a cute dynamic!!

headcanon: she's a cat person. this is actually true and accurate bc I say so. she 100% owns cats post-canon

unpopular opinion: she shouldn't have become queen at the end of row. as iconic as it is, I can't help but think that it would backfire politically, it'd have negative consequences for her relationship with nikolai, and it kind of sets back both characters' development. this feels too harsh but idk 😭😭 might write a longer post about it at some point

a wish: for her and nikolai to fix the issues in their relationship. bc yes, I think in canon they have Issues™ but this is a fixable problem! she just needs to stop putting him up on a pedestal!!

an oh-god-please-don't-ever-happen: imagine if she actually did become darkling 2.0 lmao. it'd never happen bc I think leigh bardugo would never do that, but it would be absolutely awful

5 words to best describe them: complex, iconic, motivated, forceful, lonely

my nickname for them: idk sometimes I call her z/zee in my head (and project this fact onto other characters who I think would do the same)

give me a character and I will answer...

[edoro]

What do you think of "Watching and Dreaming"?

oooh thank you for asking! took me a bit to get to it but today i am MEDICATED and MOSTLY FINISHED WITH CLEANING so let's see what i can shake out of the ol' brainpan

gonna put this under a cut because it's probably going to get long, but overall: i liked it! i think it wrapped everything up pretty well, did not leave any major plot points unaddressed, and i found the timeskip epilogue to be sweet and hopeful but not saccharine or cloying.

in more detail:

seeing the three episodes we got for season 3 makes me wish so badly that we'd gotten the full run of the show that the crew wanted. i've seen word from the last post-hoot that they found out the show was canceled right before the mid-s2 hiatus, which tracks with the overall pacing and direction of the back half of s2, and it's just a tragedy. i think they did a really good job with what they had, considering the insanely compressed runtime they were given to work with.

i'm a little disappointed that the other kids didn't get more screentime in the final episode. it makes sense but i wish we had gotten more of them and their interactions with each other outside of Luz - and their interactions with Camila, too.

i honestly really loved the whole thing with the Collector. i know a lot of people don't for various reasons, but, Shrug Emoji. some of the criticisms of his whole arc really don't make sense to me - i feel like the people who are mad that they did turn out to be a misguided kid who didn't understand the gravity of what they were doing or how it affected others for various reasons (such as: being a child, having been isolated for centuries with only Philip for company, being immortal and having incredible reality-warping powers) and changed their tune when it was explained to them just, uh... were not really paying attention? lmao?

like it was pretty obvious from his first appearance that he was a child or at least very childlike, and we can easily infer from those scenes that he's been held captive and manipulated by Philip under the guise of friendship and 'letting him free to play', so everything else follows pretty naturally from that.

i liked how it was Luz, with her own childhood experience of death and grief, who recognized what was going on here and sought to explain it to them. she's always been an empathetic person who tries to see the best in others and give them the benefit of the doubt. sometimes, like with Philip, this comes back to bite her, but most of the time it's good and helpful.

i really like how we had someone just outright tell her "lmao no" to her whole "but am i JUST AS BAD as Philip???" thing. like honey, no, you have made some clumsy mistakes while meaning well, and the thing you're the most guilty about is literally just 'helping a guy who manipulated and lied to you without realizing he was manipulating and lying to you', which is not even your fault, because HE LIED TO YOU. Philip has spent centuries carefully engineering his way into being able to commit genocide. these two things are not the same.

speaking of Philip: i also know a lot of people have been upset with his ending. honestly, i'm not! i think that it tracks very well with the kind of person he's always been - a stubborn, manipulative liar who sees himself as a victim and blames everyone else around him for the tragedies that he's experienced, many of which he's directly personally caused, and who has been given chance after chance to change his mind, change his behavior, change his beliefs, and simply refuses to.

like... some people are just assholes! i don't think that the fact that he ended up lying, manipulating, treating humans as supreme, and trying to commit witch genocide to the very bitter end means that he was like, Born Evil, i think it means that he was once a sweet kid who loved his brother who grew into a cruel, hateful, manipulative man who only saw certain people as Fully Persons and therefore deserving of existence, and felt like he had the authority to decide who is or is not a person.

and honestly like... The Owl House is a children's cartoon. it's rated Y7. it is for children and part of its purpose IS to teach children things, and i actually think that "sometimes, people will hurt you, and they'll lie and say they're doing it for your own good or for the greater good, or they'll have a sympathetic reason for doing it, but that doesn't actually matter because they keep hurting you and you do not owe them infinite chances to keep doing that" is a really good lesson to teach children.

Philip's story is a tragedy and the tragedy is that he easily COULD have done literally any other thing, but he refused to. he had chances! he refused to take them! he had centuries to go, "wait, am i the baddie?" and he did not. he murdered Caleb himself and then blamed witches for that. instead of treating the grimwalkers like family, he treated them like disposable toys to take his anger at Caleb out on. he lied, manipulated, killed, stole, and hurt countless people because he felt like they deserved it because of his own unhappiness.

some people are like this! it happens! i have met them and personally been harmed by them in ways that are going to impact me for the rest of my life and have, if not exactly ruined my life, made it a hell of a lot harder than it would have been otherwise.

so for me, seeing that the ultimate resolution of Philip's story is that he refused to change, he refused to admit any fault, he kept lying and manipulating and trying to hurt people, and eventually everyone he tried to hurt and lie to turned on him and got rid of him so he couldn't keep hurting them is very satisfying.

The Owl House is a show about how people have the capability to change, but the flip side of that is that it means they have to choose to do so, and some people won't. so what do you do then? what happens when someone is hateful, cruel, and dangerous, and won't stop trying to exterminate an entire race of people because he blames them for his own self-inflicted problems? what do you owe someone like that? how many chances should you give them? how often should you let them have the opportunity to hurt you or others again?

i think the fact that he went out so pathetically is also very fitting. to the very end he wouldn't own up to anything. he just kept trying to lie and manipulate. and like many people who act this way, when his manipulation didn't work, he dropped the mask and got mad.

so yeah! i liked that aspect of it, and i feel like a lot of the criticisms are honestly just... expecting Philip to have played a very different role in the story than imo he was set up to play. he was the contrast to people like Alador or Hunter or Amity or the Collector. he was the example of what happens when someone REFUSES to change and uses any chance you give them as a foothold to do more damage. so the ending where it's just, "sometimes you have to do what you can to protect yourself from people like that" is imo quite narratively cohesive, and i think that it also fits into the overall theme of "your character is determined by your actions." Philip COULD HAVE ended differently, but he didn't, because of his own actions.

let's see... i feel very (seesawing hand motion) about the scene with Luz and Papa Titan. overall i think i like it.

i like the idea that Luz found everything through her own ingenuity and Philip didn't because he didn't treat the Isles as worth studying!

but that being said, i think there's something quite powerful about the idea of the land itself as a being with some limited level of agency, able to open itself and its resources up to someone who approaches it with respect and able to reject someone who comes in to rapaciously plunder it in order to kill those who live on it, ESPECIALLY given the fact that Philip is, literally, a white Puritan.

like that's definitely also a very meaningful narrative to me!

i don't really talk about this a whole lot here, for various reasons, but half of my family is native (Osage, specifically.) i'm not connected to that side of my family or that aspect of my own heritage for Complicated Reasons including abuse and the ongoing effects of white supremacy and colonial violence causing those members of my family themselves to be disconnected from their heritage in a way that meant that i was, basically, raised as a white person who is visually Ethnically Ambiguous depending on how familiar the people looking at me are with what mixed native people look like.

however, as someone who has perhaps a more personal connection than some others in the fandom might to the idea of "white man from a colonizer culture comes into a land foreign to him, views them all as backwards evil savages who must be purged for the safety of the good white Christians, proceeds to plunder and misuse their resources for his own gains, destroys their connection to their own history and culture and installs himself as a figurehead leading them into death" as like, a narrative, i don't think that the idea that the Titan was watching what happened and subtly nudging or influencing events to the degree that he was able to (which was ultimately a very, very small one) is like... meaningless.

and i don't think that what he said to Luz negates any of the messaging of the series. he didn't say, "you were special All Along, so you deserve my powers." he said, "you're the one who's here right now, and you seem good enough."

like... she proved herself, by her actions, to be an open and caring person who wants to do good, and specifically cares deeply for the Isles and the people on them, to the point where she is willing to sacrifice herself for them. and she's the one who is here, right now, in this moment. and she is not a perfect person, but she's Good Enough.

i actually really like that! she's here and she's good enough. she's the one in a position to do something about it and she seems okay. i don't think that it does retroactively make her into a "chosen one", because she didn't get it through her birthright or anything, she was given it because she ended up there (because she sacrificed herself to save the Collector) and she had previously shown herself to be someone the Titan thought would use it well.

so i liked that! i think that, like with "you actually do not have to keep giving someone chances to hurt you when they are a shitty liar, even if they're also sad", "you're here and you're good enough" is a pretty good lesson!

what else, what else... loved the whole bit with Philip possessing Raine and them fighting him off. loved the sequence of the two of them duking it out in the throne room and the fact that Philip just BIT them - little brother behavior for sure. Raine is a stone-cold fucking badass.

one little detail i liked a lot is the bit where they're stuck in the goop in the throne room basically waiting to die, and Eda comes in - i specifically really love how the crew got the look of soft, fuzzy, unfocused confusion in their eyes because they don't have their glasses and can't see. there's a particular way that people who need glasses to see often look when they don't have them, and they got it really well, and i just really liked that detail!

the final fight was indeed Cool As Fuck. i love how anime TOH is.

i liked the epilogue! it was very sweet. i like that it showed how people grew and changed and repaired the Isles, while not completely erasing the damage that was done. i also think it did a good job of wrapping stuff up while still leaving a lot open - it did not, imo, fall into the "jobs and babies forever" trap of something like, say, the Harry Potter epilogue, but it showed us how things went and gave us a lot of room to imagine where they'll go from there.

also love everyone's new designs. Good For All Of Them. Amity got so fucking gay and Gus is so HANDSOME now!

also of course i was ecstatic over the Huntlow lmao - i can't believe i used to dislike it! i love how often she just kind of casually and fondly manhandles him. my friend Sharo said something to the effect of, "i like how the scene where they're sliding and he stumbles and she catches him shows that it's been so long since he had to do child soldier shit that his hot jock gf is now way stronger and more athletic and nimble than him" and i haven't been normal about it since! he's SOFT now!!

so, overall, i feel positively about it! there are a lot of small threads that got dropped, no doubt due to the series being canceled, but i think they wrapped everything up well, and i feel like everything that happened actually was pretty thematically on point. i am satisfied with it! i wish we'd gotten more, but i enjoy what we did get.

[nothorses]

Big kudos to you for being able to engage with ppl who are clearly trying to come at you in bad faith. Like you obviously didn't have to, but your reflection on that post from a year ago, it was great.

I had honestly felt weird and had to give up and check the person's blog instead to get a proper read on the intent. You're really almost inspiring tho? I'm just glad to know you're out here with me standing up for ourselves if that makes sense lol

that is extremely sweet, and I appreciate it a lot 💙

I will say that it's kind of more complicated than that. My first instinct is usually just based in emotion and past experiences, and there are times I have jumped to the conclusion that someone is coming at me in bad faith when they weren't, and times I've assumed people were coming at me in good faith when they weren't. And it always feels shitty to find out you're wrong.

That said, I think public conversations are different from private ones, and I tend to consider them that way; what can I use this opportunity to say? What will the larger impression of me be? It's not about this individual, it's about the people looking in from the outside.

I often make the wrong call and take things personally anyway, but like, this particular instance was definitely driven in part by the opportunity it presented. I knew this person wasn't going to listen to me; I also knew that people were going to see her response to my post anyway, and that not responding to it (or responding poorly) would ultimately look kind of shitty to people who actually were on the fence.

The opportunity to go back and genuinely re-evaluate some aspects of the post was honestly a good one, and I really do appreciate that kind of criticism. I also knew that doing so, and admitting fault where there was fault, would demonstrate that I am open to feedback and am responding thoughtfully and honestly. I didn't go on to argue her faulty conclusions because I wanted to disprove her points from the outset; I did it after taking some time to consider what she was saying, rereading and look further into things with that in mind, accepting my own mistakes, and deciding that regardless, her conclusion ultimately wasn't all that compelling.

I think it's easier said than done, and I would like to be better at catching myself and doing it this way more often. I want to be better at entering conversations to figure out what's true, rather than to posture at strength and try to "win". And I really appreciate that you think I did that well this time- thank you for taking the time to send me thoughtful and kind words.