#honestly I don’t care about the world I’m just so glad they’re together

[thatsfrickenace]

[im-out-of-it]

I just have some thoughts since I’ve watched the first three episodes now. some things I’m glad the show did and also the things that irritated the fuck out of me so let’s go 👏🏼

1. aging the characters up. I think this is smart to do and there’s more you can do with the rest of them if they’re in their early twenties instead of being teenagers. sorry not sorry but I’m not interested in seeing teenagers being chased by grown adults

2. Clary is still beyond annoying. I know she’s traumatized by losing her mom and not understanding this new world but literally coming in “I don’t care about the clave, about your rules, I just want to find my mom.” yeah ok we get that but there are still rules that need to be followed. you’re out here almost getting people killed and it’s all in the name of your mom. and I’m not saying the clave is trustworthy because they’re massive dicks but you can’t go around running and doing whatever you want lmao

3. please give Alec a raise or a year vacation. the amount of shit he deals with having to be jaces parabatai is too much. honestly, Alec deserves better. Jace takes advantage of Alec and I would have loved to see Alec have another parabatai, one that cares for him. I know you can only have one BUT CUT THE FUCKING CORD PLEASE

4. Magnus is fucking perfection

5. Izzy is perfection too 🔥 I do not blame Simon losing his tongue over her. my bisexual mind was like OOOOO ALEC NO MAGNUS NO IZZY NO RAPHAEL NO MAIA!!!!!!! NO ALL OF THEM

6. Clary and Jace are very cringe and I’m not sure if that’s on the acting or the writing but it makes it hard to believe they’re “in love.” I felt more connection with Alec and Magnus meeting for a second than I did with jace and clary in three episodes. even Alec and jace have a bit more chemistry than he does with clary. and that is something I DO NOT ship

Jace: I would die for you

Clary: but jace we just met

Jace: I don’t care if I throw all my friends and family away clary. we’re destined to be together

7. superb acting from Matthew Daddario. he’s absolutely wonderful and he really captured Alec’s angst in my opinion. you can see why he’s on guard not only because he likes jace (ew my man Alec WHY) and because he’s worried about the safety of his people. I feel like Matt captures the emotion without saying a thing so well. as does Harry. I think they’re both great at this

8. “This would be bad for clary.”- (talking about the cup and valentine) Simon “it would be bad for all of us”-Izzy. of course in Simon and clary world, everything is all about clary. I get simon is worried about his bff but this affects EVERYONE

9. if Simon was my bff and someone as jace talked to my friend that way, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. she doesn’t really say much, she’s all like “we’re a package deal.” honestly clary and jace belong together because they both take advantage of their friends. they’re both so self centered so let them run away as far as possible together

10. Alec is big sad now but you will have better, just you wait. also want to add, I enjoy season one for the build up Alec and Magnus but man do I hate Alec pinning after jace 🤢 but if there isn’t any incest, it’s not a proper CC story

11. Im just here for the Malec content. stuff that show did well: Alec and Izzy’s sibling relationship. I love these two so much. Clary actually being nice to izzy and being her friend, and not being mean to her cause she’s jealous. Magnus’s whole attire. I love this bi king so much. I love magnus, I love his sass, his makeup, his clothes. I LOVE HIM. I wish they would’ve changed his hair and makeup more in the last two seasons. kinda feel like they thought oh he has mascara on, that’s good enough. that pink hair is truly one of my favorite Magnus looks.

12. last thing to add that I like what the show did. I love that Alec actually knows how to fight. it never made sense in the books that he’s never killed a demon, especially since he’s a Lightwood. never made sense to me. I’m glad they allowed in the show for Alec to actually be able to fight 🏹

that is all for now until I watch actually one of the best episodes of season one. Magnus and Alec meeting 🥰

[jadetheblueartist]

I LOVE YOUR MONA VERY MUCH I MUST KNOW MORE.

Questionssssss

How did she become a nexus champion? Did she just sign up for fun or anything else? (Also love the fact it’s like pro sports for her)

What’s her relationship with everyone once she gets to know them?

What species is she? (I think I might know the species but I don’t know the name)

If you’ve come up with any lore for her, do tell :>

+ any fun facts?

(No need to answer any/all of these!)

I am very intrigued and have more random questions I can ask if you so desire :D

OH ALSO HER CHARACTER DESIGN IS JUST SO COOL. HER NEXUS OUTFIT AND CASUAL ARE AWESOMEEEEEE

IM SO GLAD YOU LOVE HER EEEEEE I HOPE I CAN GIVE YOU GOOD ANSWERS (also while I designed her specifically for the shark au I might just say shed be the same in my regular universe headcanon so like it all applies across aus I guess hahaha who knows she and frida might even be friends honestly)

-So something I learned when browsing through the twitter q and a’s is that there are hidden cities at every big city around the world, but they aren’t all underground. They didn’t go into it but they’re all hidden in different ways. Idk where specifically but Mona is from a different city and one of their sports is gladiatorial fighting and she was very good. So she decided to move to New York and go pro. Right now she’s getting free housing and food from the Hotel plus other benefits as she does fights at the Nexus. She thinks of Big Mama as just a sorta weird boss, but overall okay. She doesn’t know that Mama is just playing her and would not let her leave easily if she ever tried but she’ll find that out eventually.

-Well for starters, she and Raph start dating pretty soon due to the boys (minus Leo) setting them up. As a couple, they’re very sporty/ lovey-dovey power couple. They equally like doing active competitive stuff as well as watching movies together. They’re pretty similar while Mona is a little more strategic and thoughtful where Raph isn’t, and Raph is more understanding and caring where Mona isn’t. Teehee I love em

She and Donnie are chill. He takes it upon himself at first to be the stern “you better not break my son’s brother’s heart” (even though he did the majority of the work to set them up, he’s just dramatic) then he’s sort of a wingman for them both to each other? Like he thinks of himself as a bit of an expert at the science of love and they let him have his fun. Mona’s sense of humor is light bullying, so once Donnie gets over his wingman phase they just go back and forth with the most unserious insults whenever they see each other. Like casual name calling as greeting (“Hey, Forehead.” “Greetings, Bearded Lady.” Idk something like that I’m not creative)

She and Mikey are good buds. He third wheels a lot so they get to know each other pretty well. Mona is an eldest child so she’s used to having that little sibling presence and they bounce off of each other well. It’s sort of a “Mona jokingly challenges that he can do something and after a bunch of shenanigans they prove he can do the thing.”

She and Leo were kind of iffy at first. Leo finds love disgusting so when Donnie and Mike were trying to set up Raph, Leo was standing to the side making remarks and giving reasons why Mona wouldn’t be a good fit for Raph (she was trying to steal his color). Once he accepted that she was gonna be around and was more relaxed about her, they started having fun. She’s used to be a Jupiter Jim fan but hadn’t watched it in a while so Leo was more than happy to infodump at her and drag her into an intense movie marathon. They would also do the light bullying thing but also they team up and direct it at Donnie.

Splinter’s happy his sons are integrating in some way with other yokai. But the fact that one of his boys has a girlfriend? Now that’s all he could hope for. He’s very nice and chill towards her and is more of an accidentally embarrassing dad to Raph. They try not to bring up her current employment around him tho…

April is grateful to have another girl around. They both are pretty passionate people so they do fun stuff together. Mona’s pretty down for all the adventures and weird stuff involved so they go adventure together, probably to witch town specifically (with a disguise for April and leaving Don at home).

She a bearded dragon yokai and also lava so whatever the mix of those two is

As for lore and fun facts all that I have probably got covered up there hahaha

Feel free to ask the more random questions ^^ helps flesh out her character when I have to come up with answers to questions

THANK YOUUUUUU IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE OT I WAS KINDA SCARED TO DO THE ARMOR BUT I THINK IT TURNED OUT CHILL

Oh actually fun fact her little brother is Mondo

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 21

chapter 36:

1. “It's been so long. Oh, there you are, here you are, hi,” *deep breath* AHHHHHHHHH

2. 😭😭😭 “Remus keeps a firm grip on him and turns around to promptly leave, which is probably a little rude, considering that the others are here and may wish to greet him, but he honestly can't bring himself to care about that right now” i would expect nothing less

3. WOLFSTAR REUNION!!!! I AM IN SHAMBLES!

4. “On the way, James glances back with a grin, internally wishing Sirius all the good things, because no one deserves them more.”

oh. wow. that’s such a soft line. it’s literally making me melt

5. “Remus could not be more in love if he tried.” shit shit shit shit sobbing. wolfstar deserves the world

6. “He does love Sirius, though. Loves him dearly, with every defiant bone in his body. This man, who doesn't even realize the importance of what he's just done by giving Remus an unopened envelope. Remus, who owns nothing. Remus, who has nothing. Remus, who is not granted privacy or freedom for anything like this, for anything at all.”

i am on PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION and i am BAWLING my eyes out as silently as i possibly can. y’all don’t understand the restraint i have right now to not loudly sob

7. the LETTER has me CRYING

8. THE SECRET MESSAGE

9. oh, okay. remus killed an auror/greyback. it’s honestly not as bad as i thought it would be. also, i love the lily and remus duo. they’re so iconic

10. i LOVE LOVE LOVE that zar made a point for sirius to have the discussion that his demisexuality is NOT because of trauma and he’s always been that way. it’s beautiful <3

11. “”You can ask Regulus and James; I walked around for a solid month making everyone call me Mr. Sirius Macdonald."” STOP PLSS THATS SO FUNNY

12. SIRIUS JUST TOLD REMUS HE LOVED HIM!!! this is literally so sweet

13. andjskjdksksjsms the authors note:

“sirius, internally: a guillotine could not sever the head im about to give this man. good for them 😌”

chapter 37:

1. i’m starting a gofundme to get regulus a balcony

2. "”Sirius doesn't let me drink," James replies flatly.

"Well, don't say it like that, James. You make it sound like I'm a strict parent, or a controlling spouse," Sirius grumbles. "And I do let you drink, in moderation, when you're in a safe environment and in a good mental state. Don't forget to mention that you only let me drink within those same rules."”

i bet james is upset with the rules he made for sirius so long ago. came back to bite him in the ass

3. describing sirius as “ruffled like an offended bird” has done wonders for my mental health

4. james, remus, and sirius are all hanging out and i am beyond angry that peter doesn’t get to share this moment

5. pandora is such an angel and doesn’t deserve this pain

6. pandora and reg friendship >>>>>>>>>

7. their outfits for the night!! every last one of them is slaying so hard

8. “There's a tense moment where a group of murderers all stare around at each other, not opposed to adding a few more names to their lists. Oh, and Pandora is there, too, startlingly calm despite this.”

yaxley needs to shut his fucking mouth and stop implying that sirius will fuck his way through issues

9. “"You know what they'll assume we're doing."

"Running away," Regulus mutters.

James sighs in exasperation and fond amusement. "No, Reg. Fucking. They'll assume we've snuck off to find a corner to go fuck in."”

😭😭😭😭😭 i love reg. he’s so ready to leave

10. jegulus is getting their shit together and improving. i’m so glad

11. “James swallows. "They're—they destroy things now, when they never did before. They're rough sometimes. Bloody."

"Warm," Regulus counters, pressing another kiss to James' shaking fingers. "Steady. Strong. These hands hold the people you love. These hands care for them. They're gentle. Tender."”

this is love. what they have is love. it’s messy and broken and so difficult, but they’re trying and it’s love

12. and once again we have wolfstar my true loves ☺️☺️

i feel like nows a good time to add to respect bizzarestars’ wishes to not have the fic reposted or reuploaded a different site. i can’t remember his wishes about bookbinding, but respect those as well.

thank you, lovely people

[yutaholic]

Thank you for even making that post because I honestly feel like I’m going to explode!! Championing every issue is EXHAUSTING. I have such empathy fatigue. Bombardment of “rules”, behavioral guidelines, services, companies, networks + food brands & PEOPLE to boycott ALL THE TIME. Fandom is space many of us come to unplug from reality…it’s certainly my hyperfixation & ppl be like “well then get another one because you shouldn’t support–” IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT. Fuck. I can’t take it anymore. Calls to action being in EVERY single place have weakened my mental state even more than it was before which was already on “pending disability” level of severe & now I’m just. burned t-absolute-f out….at everything!! I can literally FEEL myself unraveling. Kpop stans & their toxic activism can go to hell. They’re so worried about making sure to condemn others for “not doing enough” or being bad people, that they don’t even realize their actions are making them into bad people. This shit takes a toll on mental health, there is science behind this, it is real and what happens to human beings when inundated with constant terrible news, and it’s not just being ~too privileged to care~ but these performative mfs have no concept of blacklisting anymore and just want to assume the absolute worst about someone, call them names & wish harm on folks who are at the end of their ropes! It’s maddening! So even if compassion fatigue isn’t why you didn’t go out of your way to Denounce and Drag™️ him (bc you totally have the right to simply not want to do that on a fanfic blog!) I’m just glad someone else stated that this is supposed to be an ESCAPE. fuck.

Baby, burnout will fuck you up. Don't do that to yourself. Take the time you need and recoup. Life is a constant war and you can afford to lose a battle here and there to focus on your own health and well-being. Getting yourself back into a good place mentally will be a huge win. We both know the ppl obsessed with performative activism aren't doing anything from a place of compassion. The real ones are out there making change, not sending people death threats online from the comfort and safety of their mommy's basement.

When I posted the pic of NCT Dream and Big Time Rush, I wrote in the tags how BTR was something my sister and I loved and bonded over. We watched the show even though it was obviously a kids show and we were both adults. It was just something that gave us joy. My sister passed away years ago and anything BTR-related will make me teary because I think about how much we laughed together over it.

So the first thing I get are messages over how problematic BTR is, that I should delete the post or I'm pro-genocide if I don't dislike them. Ngl that made me so upset because I got a bunch of faceless people trying to taint some precious memories of me and my sister. If they came at me trying to educate me on things I didn't know that would be different, but it's straight to judgment and hatred toward me over something I posted that was totally innocent.

Meanwhile I get criticized for posting about a kpop group instead of reblogging every call to action post. I donate my money to these causes, but I don't post about it because I don't need my ass kissed for doing what I know to be right. I am 1000% sure the anons in my inbox that try to police me have never given a dime to anything, but are policing people's blogs for not reblogging posts or talking about it more.

I feel bad that I haven't been very active on here this year so I try to come on when I have some free time to interact with you guys. I make a silly post about Doyoung and get anons tearing into me for it like I'm his social media manager. Okay so because the world is going to shit we aren't allowed to enjoy anything?? Can't make jokes about anything. Can't show support for anything. Just wrong on every fucking count.

Believe me I am so goddamn aware of how lucky I am that I can sit here and say I'm very privileged that I live comfortably in the life I have. I know what's going on in the world and I do my part to help where I can, but I also have to keep functioning. I don't want every minute of my life to be seeped in anger, I did that for a long time and it not only eats away at you, it makes you ineffective in actually changing the things making you angry in the first place.

This was just supposed to be a blog where I posted my stories. One of the few places I could go and not constantly be reminded of how fucked up the world is. I've always said that people who told me reading a fic of mine made their day a little better or helped them escape for a bit were always my favorite. That was what I came here for and I loved being able to share the tiniest moments of peace and quiet with others through stories with guaranteed happy endings.

I'm frustrated because I have 4 drafts ready to go next year. I got the story posts done and made all the headers. But I don't want to post them. I have no problem admitting I'm selfish and spiteful. Even though I can turn off anon, I can't block these miserable people and I don't want them reading my stuff. They don't get to consume my content and then tell me to off myself right after.

A massive fuck you to those of you that ruined this blog for me.

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Always Him : Chapter 18

Word Count : 1.6k

Warnings : swearing, drinking, drugs, mentions of cheating, mentions of sex, mentions of a toxic relationship, name calling, fighting

          Y/n met Jeongin when they were still kids playing on the playground. She remembers being pushed by another boy when Jeongin came out of nowhere, pushing the boy that pushed her, and helping her to her feet. He kept asking if she was okay. Their friendship quickly blossomed. With linked pinkies, they promised to always be by each other’s side, and he vowed to never let harm come her way.

            By junior high they were inseparable. Wherever she went, he was close behind, and vice versa. He was the one she would turn to when it felt like the world was crumbling in. And she was the one he turned to when he felt like he wasn’t good enough. They protected each other. They saved each other.

            Jeongin was her only friend by the time they reached high school. Other friends had left her, betrayed her, broke her heart, left her crying in Jeongin’s arms. It was his least favourite sight, seeing her stain his shirt with tears.

            When Kayla and Mae came along, taking Y/n under their wing, Jeongin was skeptical, glaring at them whenever they joined them for lunch, or after school hang outs. But Y/n would always assure him that they were different than girls in the past. They truly cared about her, loved her unconditionally. I’m glad you found that kind of love, lovey. She remembers him saying, petting her head, a smile on his face.

            She remembers when he confessed, taking her for a picnic as he always did during summer weekends. Mae, an aspiring chef, helped cook all her favourite foods. Flower petals were laying on the picnic blanket, and she couldn’t help but tear up at the sight, at all the hard work he did for her. Honestly, if it wasn’t for Kayla, I don’t think I ever would have known I was in love with you. He chuckled. But I think apart of me always knew. From that very first day on the playground.

            Falling in love with Jeongin wasn’t something she expected, but as she listened to his confession, it was all she could think about. Somewhere along the way, she fell head over heels in love with her best friend.

            If you asked anyone that knew them in high school where they’d be today, they would tell you without a doubt they’re married and starting a family. Jeongin and Y/n were end game. Childhood friends to lovers. They knew the best and worst of each other and still loved each other anyway.

            First year of university, after two years of being together, the cracks began to show. He began to get more possessive, glaring at any guy that came near her. He would even glare at Mae’s boyfriend at the time, Jisung. The two boys were best friends, meeting in high school when him and Mae got together. The two couples would go on double dates all the time. He knew that Jisung wanted nothing from Y/n but friendship. Yet Jeongin glared every time he was around.

            He started accusing her of cheating, screaming at her, threatening to kill her if he ever found her with another guy. She would cry, sob to him that he was the only one. Sometimes she would silently beg for him to hit her. Mark her with his hands so she’d have a reason to walk away. So she could reach out for help and have everyone believe her.

            It wasn’t until she walked into their shared apartment, seeing Jeongin naked on top of another girl, that the first spiral began. She covered it up by saying it was first year party fever. Mae and Kayla were none the wiser, joining her every night. They watched first hand how drunk she would get, flirting with anyone and everyone to get free drinks.

            She would sneak out with Jisung to get high with him. He asked no questions, just happy to have a smoking buddy since no one else he knows smoked. It helped her forget momentarily. Forget the image of Jeongin fucking someone else in their shared bed. Forget all the words he spewed at her. Slut bag. Attention whore. Filthy cunt. Every time the words echoed in her mind, she would take another hit. Or she’d take another drink Whatever was closest.

            She knows she should have left him. Should have walked back out the door when she caught him in bed with someone else. But he had her so wrapped around his finger that she stayed. She blamed herself. Maybe if she was a better girlfriend, loved him the way he needed her to, he wouldn’t have cheated.

            So she tried her best to be the best girlfriend she could be. But still he cheated. Still he called her names. Told her he was only sleeping with other girls because she was sleeping with other guys. Eye for an eye. She tried to tell him she wasn’t cheating, but it never worked. He was convinced. But he still loved her, so he would forgive her every single time.

            He’s the reason she woke up in a hospital bed after having her stomach pumped. Driving her so far down her spiral that she couldn’t stop drinking. Well over her limit, she kept drinking, trying to numb the pain in her heart.

            Mae stopped him at the door when he tried to visit her in the hospital, telling him he’ll be the next one to wake up in the hospital when she beats his ass if he doesn’t leave Y/n alone. We promised we’d be by each other’s side no matter what! Kayla held Y/n’s hand, wiping away her tears with her free one. She did her best to keep her calm, keep her from taking Jeongin back, while Mae tried to get rid of him.

            So why was she back in his arms? Sitting on his lap in this club, him whispering in her ear about how beautiful she is, pressing soft kisses to her neck. It was wrong, but it felt so right, being with him like this. Like they were back before all the fights. Before the cheating. Back when it was just the two of them in love, thinking about forever.

            Before she fell in love with Hongjoong.

            “I need a smoke. Coming?” She stood up from his lap, holding out her hand for him to take, which he happily did. He wasn’t letting her go this time. This time he would keep the promise he made on the playground where they first met. “Do you smoke?” She held out a joint for him to take.

            “I’ll try it.” He smiled, taking the joint from her fingers. She stepped closer to him to light it for him. “You are so beautiful, lovey,” She looked away from the lighter and looked up to meet his eyes. He was studying her intently, as if she would disappear when he looked away.

            “I’ve missed you.” She said softly. “More than I’d like to admit.”

            “Then come back to me. You know we belong together.”

            “Likely story ass town.” Jeongin turned to see Mae standing behind him. And soon they were surrounded by people trying to separate them. “I told you to stay away from her or I’d kick your ass.”

            “I know that’s just an empty threat.” He laughed and then Mae punched him. “What the fuck?”

            “Yeah. She doesn’t do empty threats.” Wooyoung chuckled as Mae punched Jeongin again. She kept attacking him while Kayla took Y/n into her arms.

            “I am so glad you’re okay. I was so scared.” Y/n pushed her away, catching the fight out of the corner of her eye, and stormed over to break it up.

            “Seriously Mae? You can’t just go around beating people up for no reason!”

            “No reason? Y/n do you not remember what this dick pickle did to you?” Y/n was holding Jeongin in her arms, assessing the damage Mae caused, whispering apology after apology to him. He took her hands in his, promising that he was okay.

            “Whatever happened is in the past, Mae.”

            “Jeongin you know she deserves better than you.” Jisung spoke up. “You said you would get help but you haven’t. You’re just going to hurt her again. If you love her, you’ll let her be with someone that won’t hurt her.”

            “Y/n, this isn’t the way to cope with whatever happened with Hongjoong.” Seonghwa said. “We can get you help. Therapy, rehab, whatever you need.”

            “I’m fine.” Y/n spit back. “I’m not fucked up. I’m not a charity case or a baby that needs babysitting. Stop treating me like a fucking child.”

            “Then stop making dumb decisions!” Mae yelled. Y/n stared at Mae, seeing the tears in her eyes. She’s only seen her like this one other time. Waking up in the hospital after almost dying. Something about the tears on Mae’s face snapped her out of it. She could feel Jeongin’s grip tightening on her, but she looked at him, pleading him with her eyes to let her go.

            “I’ll get the help I need and then I’ll come back to you a better man.” He told her softly. “We promised forever and I intend to keep that promise.”

            “We’ll talk when we’re both better.” She smiled at him, pressing one final kiss to his lips. “I love you, Jeongin.” He tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

            “I love you so much more, lovey.”

back to masterlist

@mxnsxngie @maeleelee @lethallyprotected @choisoorin @berryblog @anyamaris @nebulousbookshelf @junebug032 @jaydebow @halesandy @okkkcausewhet @dandycharmer @aestheticsluut @the-anarchist-public @kpoprhia @hanschimpmunk @itsmeeekai @grayscorner @weird-bookworm @minhoino @ibedreaminghighupinthesky @kpop-in-new-albion @felixmainacc @yunstarz @writersun

[phantomwritr]

The Road Trip (4/?)

The second part of their journey to Milan mostly passed in silence. “Look, we’re just going to have to try and get through this together. You asked me along, so the least you can do is pretend you actually want this,” Lewis said, without taking his eyes off the road.

“Not by choice,” Max bit out.

“What do you mean, not by choice?”

“My PR-team pretty much forced me into this. And for some reason I don’t understand, Christian helped them. I didn’t want this, but they said if I didn’t convince you, the nicest and kindest driver on the grid, voted unanimously by fans, to come with me on this stupid road trip, my reputation would be fucked. So yes, I’m taking advantage of your perceived kindness. Please kindly drop me off at the nearest gas station so the whole world will know how much we hate each other.”

��For what it’s worth, I don’t hate you. I respect you. And honestly I didn’t expect the great Max Verstappen to care about what people think. You always seem to go through life like you don’t give a care in the world—it’s a luxury I could never afford and I envy you for that, but it only motivates me to fight harder to get back in your rear-view mirrors. Or preferably, to see you in mine. If you want to show the world they’re right about us, then fine, I’ll drop you off at the next petrol station. But isn’t it the great strength of champions not to give up when the going gets tough? Isn’t this where champions persevere through sheer grit and determination? Who knows. Perhaps you’ll be surprised.”

Max stared ahead and blinked. “Is this where your whole Still I Rise-shtick comes from? Do you just give everyone who takes advantage of your kindness a pep talk?”

“It’s part of it, yes. But my motto—not a gimmick— is about much more than that. And no, I don’t give everyone a pep talk, but if you think I’m unfamiliar with people taking advantage of me, you don’t know me very well,” Lewis said, the only sign of any frustration being that he gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter.

“Fine, whatever. Let’s just keep this show on the road,” Max acquiesced before going back to staring out the window.

“Glad to see you’ve decided to give it a chance. Want to do another round of those glovebox questions?”

Max shrugged. “Fine, yeah. Uhm, welcome to another round of Glovebox Questions. I guess. Oh, this one’s fun. Can you say three nice things about your travel companion?”

Lewis carefully swerved around someone as he stamped even harder on the gas. “Three?” Max nodded, half turning so he could see the expression on Lewis’ face.

“Well, you’re a great and consistent racer…er…” Lewis tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he racked his brain for something else to say. They nearly swerved onto the lane next to them, but Lewis course-corrected before any harm could befall them or anyone else.

“You’re loyal to your friends and family, which is really admirable…er…one more…” Lewis said as Max arched an eyebrow. “Is it that hard to say something nice about me?”

“It is if you are trying to say something meaningful. I mean, you’re skilled, determined, loyal, good with kids from what I’ve heard. How much more do you want me to stroke your ego?”

Max blanched and Lewis chuckled, his pearl-white teeth shining as he winked at the camera. “That’s…four,” Max said, a nervous chuckle escaping him. “Or six. I forgot to count.”

Silence fell over them like a blanket until Max cleared his throat. “All right, I guess it’s my turn to stroke your ego then.”

“So long as it’s just my ego you’re stroking,” Lewis joked, his lips curling upwards. Max did his best to disguise his chuckle with a cough. “If you want me to be nice to you, you shouldn’t torture me like this.”

“Oh, just shut up and answer the question, Max. Or do you also fail to perform when your engineer tells you a joke?”

Toto wanted to grab Christian by the collar and scream at him as they watched the livestream. Do you see what I mean now?!

[youngerfrankenstein]

So today I watched two movies where the deuteragonist goes kinda nuts and turns into a dragon thing, before the protagonist has to calm them down.

They were both a pretty fun time!

Promare is something I had been meaning to watch for quite a while but somehow never got around to. Glad I finally did!

Promare has quite possibly the Worst oppression allegory I have ever seen. A bunch of people are discriminated against because they burned half the world and killed billions (with a B!) of people. Also it’s not actually anything inherent to them it’s a bunch of alien parasites that will destroy the planet. However, since this is basically just an excuse for robots to fight other robots on fire… I can’t say I really care in the end. Promare is ENTIRELY style over substance, and I mean that in the best way.

The plot is breakneck and stupid. Most of the characters barely register as such. The dialogue is so dumb. And it FUCKING RULES! I’ve seen the film described as “Anime the Anime” and that does kind of sum it up. Everything feels like a ten year old boy smashing his action figures together and you can’t help but get swept up in the enthusiasm.

Helped by the absolutely (excuse the pun) FIRE soundtrack. The energy almost never lets up, and on-the-nose engrish lyrics just add to the experience. Even if you don’t watch the movie holy heck listen to the soundtrack.

The characters may be paper-thing but holy hell are they fun to watch. Our protagonist, Galo, himbo extraordinaire is as ridiculous as he is somehow charming. You can’t help but admire his drive to help people. And his foil, the ironically icy Lio, here to set fires and fight for his rights. Aina, a nice, spunky girl set up as a love interest for about five minutes before it turns out her character has more of a story based around her relationship with her sister. Which is a nice change! In fact the only romance in the story arguably involves CPR for plausible deniability. And our hero remembers to open the airway thank heck. Though whether intentional or just ship tease who knows? And who cares. You can guess who the villain is about ten seconds after he shows up and he is as much a blast to watch as the rest.

And really, this is a movie with a secret robot used to save the day called the Deus X Machina. A movie that ends with two shirtless guys setting the Earth on fire to stop the Earth from being set on fire. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and really neither should you. Let it sweep you away for almost two hours and you will feel much better afterwards.

-

I started reading Nimona around the time it was wrapping up as a webcomic. I have a copy of the graphic novel on my shelf. I was excited when I heard the movie had been greenlit (less so when I heard it was Blue Sky Studios), disappointed by the cancellation and, well, I’m happy it’s here now. While I’ve gotten grouchier over the years, it does make me smile to see these guys on my television, even if they’re not quite the same people either.

Because the movie is very different, and yet much of it feels similar as well. Certain scenes, like the board game, are almost directly from the comic, others are from the comic but not quite the same. The characters are different, Ballister is less jaded, Ambrosius less delusional and Nimona less, well, monstrous. She seems to more beat the snot out of people than commit mass murder. In the comic she’s every bit the monster people fear her to be, though a sympathetic one, and perhaps one who will heal someday. While the ending of the movie is far happier, it fits the new tone. And honestly? I need to stop making comparisons and judge the damn movie on its own merits. Of which it has many!

Our setup is fairly simple, Ballister BlackBoldheart is a new knight of the realm, who immediately gets framed for the murder of the queen and disarmed (heh) by his boyfriend Ambrosius Goldenloin, while on the lam he is approached by a shapeshifter called Nimona who is up for a little mayhem and hijinks. Together they try and clear his name.

My fist fear when I heard Blue Sky studios would be the ones releasing the movie was that a lot of the humour would be Quite Bad. And while there definitely is plenty of that, I think more gags hit than miss. Hell the movie got quite a few laughs out of my dad and he’s a fair bit less likely to chuckle than I am. It is quite a funny movie, which is good because it helps the harsher moments hit harder. Because there are also plenty of those, especially in the final act.

Speaking of, the film is somewhat surprisingly well paced. Scenes tend not to overstay their welcome and the movie flows well. What else flows well? The animation! (My segways not so much) Everything is very smooth, which is rather necessary for all the shapeshifting, and there’s quite an interesting scene made to look as if subway tiles are telling the story of Nimona’s origins (ish).

And the main trio really are quite fun to watch. Ballister, always the underdog, now a public enemy and trying to both clear his name and perhaps open his mind a bit. Ambrosius, golden boy, trying to do the right thing and not always doing a great job. And, of course, Nimona, who’s just here to break shit, though it is quickly clear there’s more underneath, also a pretty blatant trans allegory.

The relationships Ballister has with both the other two are sweet as heck, but also riddled with mistrust that they all have to work to overcome.

And while the movie does get a little preachy at times, it’s a kid’s movie. What do you expect? Rah rah fight the power, all that jazz. I may be too jaded for it but it certainly works.

—

Would recommend checking out both or either if they sound like something you’d enjoy!

[ryuichirou]

would you mind give us some more lilidia headcanons? i love the way you characterize them

Alright, there is no such things as too much Lilidia, so here are some more headcanons for you~ I’m very glad you like how we write them!

Just in case for anyone who’s interested, here are our previous posts with headcanons about these two: 1, 2. God I hope I’m not repeating myself lol…

The first ones are kind of fluffy, but it gets more cursed.

As we know from some of Lilia’s birthday voice lines, Gloomy samurai is always the first to wish him a Happy Birthday, which is 01/01, the first day of the year. Now, Idia wasn’t really interested in celebrating the New Year before, he used to either sleep through the midnight or play games. But now that he associates this holiday with his precious gaming buddy, this is honestly one of the biggest events of the year for him. He prepares for it in advance, getting all the gifts and in-game goodies ready, preparing a long congratulation note, doing all of this, while being super nervous but excited for Crimson Muscle to get his presents. Ortho always notes how giggly and happy his brother gets when he starts getting ready for this day, he’s never seen him so excited about the New Year before.

Despite the fact that Idia usually isn’t the most talkative type and Lilia is a chatty extravert, when they’re together, Idia talks a lot and Lilia listens to him very carefully. Sometimes Idia catches himself talking too much and gets embarrassed about it, but Lilia always makes him keep talking by asking questions like “and then what happened?”, “and what did that guy say?” or “and what was the finale of that thing about?”, basically showing Idia that he has been listening and is very invested in what Idia has to say. One time it almost made Idia cry of happiness: Crimson Muscle-shi really is on a whole different level than all those plebes who just don’t get it…

When they first started hanging out irl, Lilia surprised Idia with cutesy cosplay a couple of times. He just figured that, based on what kind of shows Idia watches and what kind of characters he likes, he would get excited about making out with an adorable maid or a schoolgirl in a seifuku. To Lilia’s surprise, while Idia was super embarrassed and red and pink because of this, he isn’t really into crossdress all that much. I guess he doesn’t like cutesy things in a sexual way as much as Lilia thought he would. That being said, the contrast between Lilia’s adorable appearance and his dominating and manly attitude is a kink that Idia didn’t expect to have.

 Lilia is the type to playfully smack Idia’s ass, playfully pull on his underwear, playfully hug him with his legs, playfully blow some air in Idia’s ear, all this stuff. And even though it should feel teasingly cute, when Lilia does it, it just feels super pervy. The way Lilia’s face gets super smug just reminds Idia of a pervy old man trope. He complains about it but actually finds it weirdly hot, to his own embarrassment.

Lilia loves dirty talk, and he while he’s really into the introverted types, he doesn’t like it when his lover is silent. He is very capricious and inpatient about it: he wants to hear everything. Idia, however, would love to have a mute button to shut himself up, he always tries very hard to cover his mouth and prevent any whines and whimpers that could come out of it. Well, it’s hard to do with Lilia, because he is a master of overstimulation, edging, domination and all this stuff. Sometimes he straight-up bullies Idia until he starts yelling the most embarrassing stuff in the world, and if he wasn’t as aroused and heard himself, he would have died because of cringe. Lilia doesn’t care what exactly Idia yells out though, he just likes the fact that he bullied him into doing so lol

[becauseimanicequeen]

RANDOM THOUGHTS: Deep Night ep. 5

I’m going into this episode just wanting more throuple moments. And to see more neon lights and colors (because I’m a slut for that). I don’t really care about anything else (unless it’s the mom and her girlfriend).

And here they are! I love these women. They’re so sweet, supportive, and playful with each other. I’m glad Khem’s mom has such a strong supporter next to her. It seems like she truly needs it. (Especially when her son has his head stuck up his own ass…)

Seji is too shocked and confused to speak. I don’t blame him, though. I mean, just the sight of Pan and Ken could make anyone speechless.

Khem is so annoying. Why is he standing there looking all sorry for himself? Get your fucking act together and apologize.

Wela sleeping with a book covering his face… That takes me back to my teenage years when I read novels every night until I fell asleep.

Wela's house looks so similar to Non’s house in DFF. Is it the same house, perhaps?

Well, at least Khem apologized (and Wela too).

Sex on a rooftop. Check.

Yes, Khem. Apologize to your mom.

Yes! More aerial routines! I’d almost forgotten they did aerial routines at the club. It’s been too long.

Shirtless Seji and Ken!

Fucking hell, Sun’s strength (the actor playing Great). He’s great indeed.

Poor Pan getting pushed away by all these crazy shippers.

Shirtless Great!

Shady individual doing shit in the restroom. It wouldn’t surprise me if Khem’s right, that this dude was paid to enter the club and do drugs. I’m hoping Khem did something about that little plastic bag, though.

Honestly, doesn’t the police force have something more important to do than raid this club every night and still find nothing? The vendetta the culprit has must be truly personal (and I’m sure it has something to do with Khem).

A peck is never enough for Khem. He’s always hungry for more.

Please, Ken, don’t turn into a shady individual. But, if he does… Is he trying to get Wela fired so Seji can be number 1? Or is he trying to get Pan fired to get him away from Seji? Or both?

I think Seji hit the nail on its head right there. I’ve suspected Khem’s aunt before (or whatever that woman in the first episode was), and I still feel like she (or that side of Khem’s family) might be behind it. They haven’t really introduced anyone else who could potentially be the culprit.

Wait. Wait a fucking minute. Didn’t even Pan know that Freya is Khem’s mother? Isn’t Pan Khem’s best friend? I mean, Pan is the sweetest goof in the world. Why keep this from him?

Well, there we have it, Ken outing Khem and Wela. Seji’s reaction was interesting, though. It’s like he was pissed at Ken for outing them. Is it because he knows why Ken does it (which I assume is to make Seji number 1 at the club)?

Khem to Wela: ”You don’t have to worry. I won’t break up with you for sure.” Maybe it’s just me, but if I was Wela, the only thing I would be worried about at that point was my job. The last thing on my mind would’ve been whether Khem would break up with me or not.

And there we have it. The reason Ken outed Khem and Wela’s relationship. It’s so stupid. It’s so childish. Ken, what the fuck are you doing? This is clearly not the way to show Seji you love him.

Seji to Ken: ”If you truly understand love, you would never hurt someone else’s love.” That. Right. There. Enough said!

And there we have her, the aunty. Well, that was transparent.

A good episode. There were some highlights like the moment between Freya and her girlfriend, the aerial routines (especially Greats), and some moments with Seji and Ken (even though I would’ve wished to see more Pan with them as well). Other than that, though…

However, the next episode looks promising in the relationship department since they’re all going on a trip together. So I’m hoping for more throuple moments (it’s basically the whole reason I’m still watching this). And some Great and James moments (because we’ve barely gotten crumbs of them so far). And, since they’re all going on a trip together, anything can happen, right? RIGHT?

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Kino Ecstasy [08]

ー The scene starts outside of Kino’s manor

Kino: ...

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyah...

( I wonder why he suddenly pulled me in...? )

Selection

→ Look at his face (❦)

Kino: ...

Yui: ( The way he’s behaving...Seems like something happened...? )

( But what could that be...? )

Kino: ...Keep quiet, okay? There, look...

→ Ask him

Yui: Kino-kun, what are y...ーー

Kino: Shh...Be quiet.

*Rustle rustle* 

Yui: ( ...There’s someone standing in front of the house... )

Male Ghoul A: Excuse me? Is that true...?

Male Ghoul B: Yeah, there’s no doubt.

He said that he’s done with Yuuri...and even went as far as to call him a nuisance. 

Why does he think we ever obeyed him in the first place!?

Because of Yuuri, of course!

We were loyal to Yuuri, not to Kino himself.

Male Ghoul A: ...Given the current circumstances, we no longer have any reason to keep following that Vampire. 

Let’s go after Yuuri at once!

Male Ghoul A: Yeah!

*Rustle*

*Flap flap flap* 

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“Honestly, if anything, I feel like a huge pressure has been lifted off my shoulders. They are only ever dragging me down. They should all just get out of my sight. ...Begone with them.”

“Those fools...I guess they could just never understand...Just how great I am.”

Kino: Heeh...Fufu...Fufufu...Ahaha!

Yui: Kino-kun...?

Kino: Seems like the Ravens chose Yuuri over me.

Honestly, I’m glad those incompetent fools removed themselves from my life.

Yui: Incompetent, you say...

( How mean... )

Kino: I mean, I’m not wrong, am I? In the end, they’re nothing but powerless Ghouls.

Both Yuuri as well as the other Ravens...They need to be given a reminder.

About how powerless Ghouls are...as well as how much they owe me for everything I’ve done for them so far. 

It’s all thanks to me that the Church agreed to this deal. Because I’m Karlheinz’ son!

Now that they’ve left me, there’s no place left for them here in the human world. Of course, neither is there in the Demon World.

They can drop dead for all I care! They can happily perish together like a bunch of losers who have lost their home.

Yui: Kino-kun, you’re going too far. I can’t believe you’d wish for them to perish...

Kino: I mean, can you blame me? They’re the ones who went against me...

Even though I’m special...They should respect me more than anyone else in this world...

They just don’t get it at all...

Yui: ...

Monologue

I felt as if those words he spoke weren’t actually directed at me,

nor at the Ghouls who left him. 

Most likely, Kino-kun was telling himself that.

I’m positive that Kino-kun actually wants to be with them too. 

He wants Yuuri-san to come back as well. 

Even though he feels that way, he can’t admit it. 

After all, if he does, he would defy everything he’s always stood for. 

He has always boasted himself as special (特別な存在),

using that as a weapon to silence those around him. 

This whole time, Kino-kun has applied said technique,

to gain recognizition from the people around him. 

But I just can’t feel like that is the right thing to do.

But for someone who was abandoned at an unfamiliar land at a young age,

that might have been the only way.

Perhaps the invisible, mental scars (傷跡) he has been carrying with him his whole life,

are much larger than I initially thought. 

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[celestiall0tus]

Reawakening - Transformation

Table of Contents

            Nathalie returned to her room with her morning coffee, a spare cup, and a plate of nectarines. She strode across her room and placed everything on her desk before she approached her bed. Nooroo was still curled up fast asleep. She smiled and scratched his cheek.

            “Nooroo, wake up,” Nathalie cooed.

            “Five more minutes,” Nooroo whined.

            “I brought breakfast.”

            Nooroo’s head shot up. “Breakfast?”

            Nathalie moved aside and motioned to the desk. Nooroo rushed over and sat on the plate. He happily gobbled down the nectarines as Nathalie took a seat.

            “What’s on the agenda today?” Nooroo asked.

            Nathalie rubbed her eyes. “Finishing wrapping up Gabriel’s affairs. Then after lunch I need to review the changes that Duusu wants to make to the manor before I show them to you.”

            Nooroo grimaced. “Allowing Duusu that luxury is a dangerous one.”

            Nathalie leaned back in her chair with her coffee. “Oh, I’m learning. His tastes are very… exquisite. I’m just glad you agreed to make the changes. You likely saved Emilie a lot of money and time.”

            “Well, of course, I agreed. This is her and your home where you’ll raise Adrien. I don’t like Duusu’s tastes, but I want you guys to be comfortable and happy.”

            Nathalie stared at her coffee. “It’s hard to believe this still. Only a week ago we still served Gabriel. I should be dead after using the broken miraculous and Gabriel, well, who knows. Now we’re free of him, Emilie is back, and I’ll be staying with her to help raise Adrien. And now we’re together all due to Velze’s mercy. I honestly expected, well, death.”

            “You didn’t actually mistreat the kwamis, Nathalie.”

            “But I helped Gabriel commit all sorts of terrorist acts, supported him neglecting Adrien, and just… everything. I deserve to be locked away for everything I’ve done.”

            “Maybe to your kind, but Velze didn’t care about that stuff. As he told Gabriel, he didn’t care about your mundane crimes, but your treatment of the kwamis. You never mistreated Duusu when he was with you, not like Gabriel did with us. What’s more, you saw the errors in your ways and fought against him. That is a true act of change and transformation. Worthy of a second chance.”

            “It still feels wrong.”

            “Nathalie, I pose a question to you. Is it better to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature and become good?”

            Nathalie considered. “I would think it is better to be born good, but is that not our default? To be born good and innocent while the world shapes us into what we are. To grow and learn and overcome ordeals and… oh. Oh, I see.”

            Nooroo beamed. “Exactly. We are changed by our worlds, who we encounter, and so much more. What we do with those changes makes us who we are. So, you were a morally questionable woman before, but what will you be now?”

            Nathalie smiled. “I’ll be a friend to Emilie and Amelie, a mother to Adrien, and a partner to you, Nooroo. Together until the end?”

            “Until you hear the bells toll.”

            “Let’s hope they’re not Velze’s bells.”

            “I’m sure we can arrange that.”

            “No! No, no, no. Once was enough. Thank you.”

            Nooroo giggled. He finished his nectarines and flipped over his coffee mug. “Fill her up, please.”

            Nathalie poured some of her coffee into Nooroo’s mug. She clinked it against his and they took a big gulp. She took a deep breath and stretched. She booted up her computer while Nooroo curled up on her shoulder, falling asleep as she finished her affairs.

[azure-firecracker]

ATLA Live Action Stream of Consciousness (Episode 2, Part 2).

HOLY SHIT WE’RE GETTING KYOSHI!!!

Zuko’s sadder. Like we’re clearly supposed to empathize with him right away. This will probably make any backstory reveals less impactful. It also makes me wonder if his redemption will be as redemption-y but honestly I’m enjoying him so much that I don’t care.

Suki telling Sokka that he’s a real warrior is a really good moment. So is her speech about being a nonbender. And I like her desire to see the world and how it parallels the Water Siblings (but jeez kiss already!)

Aang is like 1/20th Kyoshi’s size and I love it.

Kyoshi deserves better than these lines.

Zhao’s fake niceness is kind of unnerving. I like it! He seems more threatening which is fun. (The original book 1 did suffer from a lack of a villain who I actually took seriously)

NOT KATARA STANDING THERE WHILE THEY GET ATTACKED! WHY WON’T THEY LET HER DO THINGS?!

Ooh Kyoshi’s yelling at Aang for running away���which would be more effective if he had actually run away. But I think her telling him to be a merciless warrior has the potential to be a really interesting exploration into morality. Do I think they’ll explore that potential? No.

Momo attacking firebenders is fun! Glad to see he has a reason to be there lol.

I will say I like all of the fight choreo so far (in both episodes).

YAY KATARA’S DOING SOMETHING! But why is that a special occasion istg I won’t get over this.

Okay so Kyoshi’s speech about Aang avoiding his duties would be more impactful if we’d spent a little time with him actually avoiding his duties. Like I got that he was confused and lost but not avoidant. This is where I see people’s pacing complaints come in. They needed time to develop this and they maybe had it but didn’t use it.

Oh Katara’s PTSD that’s something we can definitely explore more than in the original (and it’s gritty so they will).

DAMN KYOSHI IS ACTUALLY HERE OKAY GIRL GO KICK SOME ASS! Okay this is very cool this one scene is giving the episode major points.

YAY THEY’RE KISSING! Aaw❤️

Zuko don’t ask Zhao not to tell anyone don’t show your cards so easily you fool.

OH they’re gonna work together (in theory). Interesting plot change.

ARE WE GETTING AN OZAI REVEAL?! ALREADY?!

Okay he just stood there but it’s the ending shot so that’s fine.

Now I need that Azula reveal…

[sapphire11]

all the words you didn't mean for me to hear

Part 2 of 'Secret Messages' a Break up era Tarlos fic Read Part 1 Here

Hello Again Everyone! Still posting this fic in 'mini' parts here on tumblr before releasing the whole thing on ao3. (still mostly because I need some encouragement and validation despite not feeling ready to publish it yet there and you all have always been supportive) Think of this as a little gift for being wonderful followers/mutuals 💛

Counting this as my Seven Sentence Sunday (Sneak Peak Sunday in my world) Thanks so much for the tags @ramblingdisaster73 & @ravens-words

Thank you to everyone who reached out with encouragement and kind words on the last part! (let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this fic or my Tarlos fics) @chaotictarlos @firstprince-history-huh @bubblesandroses8

We could lose him.

His own voice echoes in his mind as he shoves open the door to the stairwell. 

We could lose him.

His own voice is too loud in his head. Drowning out all others. Nancy’s reassurances, Captain Vega’s attempts at hopeful optimism. They’re all lost in the terror that grips him by the throat.

We could lose him.

His own voice shaking with fear that he doesn’t want to feel anymore. He needs to feel something else. Anything else. So he collapses on the top step of the stairs and roughly pulls out TK’s phone, headphones coming with it.

We could lose him.

His own voice echoes and he needs to drown it out with another.  

Hey babe … shit. Let me just …. *background noises, buttons being pressed rustling … 

Hey Carlos.

He turns and settles his back against the wall, knees drawn up to his chest, closing his eyes and allowing TK’s voice to block out everything else. 

How are you? I hope you’re doing okay. Nancy let me know that she’s still in touch. I’m glad; even if I think she only told me because she’s trying to get more information out of me about why we … well about what happened.

I hope that you are letting our friends be there for you. They’ve been trying to be there for me. Even as scattered as we all are at work. Paul still texts. Marjan sends me funny memes. Mateo begs for Marvel movie nights every time we have a night off together. It’s not the same, but it’s something. Plus, Doctor Matterson has been telling me to lean into those friendships; to that support. It helps. Sometimes.

On one hand it is worrisome that TK is so freely admitting that he’s struggling in these messages. On the other hand, he is grateful that TK still in some way was turning towards him, trusting him with the truth of his feelings. Of course he wishes that he’s trusted him at the time, but he knows how much it must have cost TK to admit this even in a message. He knows how even saying the words out loud can feel like you are giving them power over you. 

At the same time, he thinks about the way he pushed everyone away during the breakup. He didn’t want them to have to choose, he wanted TK to be able to vent and have people that were safe, away from Carlos, as TK seemed to want to keep them apart. He should have had more faith in his ex, in TK, in person he has always known him to be. Of course he’d want Carlos to have the same support, and of course he wouldn’t tell them anything. 

Other times it honestly just makes me miss you more. But I’m trying and I hope that counts for something.

It counts for everything, because if only in this hollow, cold, hospital stairwell, Carlos can admit that he didn’t try. He just gave up. Let the anger build inside him until there was nothing left to do, but to pretend to forget. To pretend to move on.

Just wanted you to know that I’ll be okay. That you don’t have to worry, because I know you. I want you to be okay too, so take care of yourself Carlos. Let our friends be there for you; it’s the least you deserve.

It’s the least you deserve

Those words burn into his mind, like the flash of light when you look directly at the sun. They’re all he can hear for a long time. 

He knows that TK left this message months ago. That he was alluding to the fact that Carlos doesn’t deserve to deal with what TK would call his ‘fucked up brain and mess’. But listening to this message now, it almost feels prophetic. It is as if TK is telling him that there is no other choice, but to lean on their friends.

If the worst comes to pass and TK doesn’t come back to him, he’ll try to take care of himself, for no other reason than because TK asked him to. Asked him in some stupid message recorded months ago in the middle of a communication drought, but it feels important. Moreover, it feels like the truth. TK asked him to take care of himself and now there might be no other options. 

TK’s wisdom about leaning on their friends propels him back towards the ICU waiting room. He finds Nancy and Tommy in the same chairs he left them, only now Mateo and Judd have joined them. 

“Hey man.” Judd nods, he’s the first one to notice him, and as he shifts off his spot leaning against the wall, Carlos freezes in place. Despite being compelled to come back, and feeling the itch to follow through with TK’s plea of letting their friends be there for him, he feels out of place. It’s been so long since he occupied the same space as all of these people that mean so much to TK, and it’s impossible to ignore the real reason why they’re all here together now. 

Judd watches him carefully, slowly making his way over with the look born of way too much knowledge surrounding grief. Carlos finds himself engulfed in the warmest hug he’s felt in a long while, the older man’s arms wrapped completely around him, shielding him for just a moment. When Judd pulls back and pats a hand on his shoulder, the look of understanding on his face brings tears to Carlos’ eyes. He can’t stand to look at it anymore as he turns towards the rest of the group who are doing their best imitation of not watching the spectacle. 

“Hey Carlos,” Mateo greets him with the least amount of exuberance he’s ever heard from the kid and a soft, careful hug. “We’ve missed you man. Just wish –” he stutters, a shifty glance thrown in the direction of TK’s room. 

“Me too, Mateo,” Carlos offers, “Thanks for coming. I know TK would appreciate it.”

“We’re here for you too.” The fierce insistence in Mateo’s voice is a clear holdover from other times. From months of Carlos’ absence in not just TK’s life, but all of these people’s. For the first time since the break up Carlos allows himself to feel the grief of the loss. The weight of it pulls him down and he sinks into the chair between Nancy and Tommy. Allowing them to take his hands in theirs again, except this time he doesn’t pull away. 

Mateo and Judd excuse themselves sometime soon after that, with mentions of needing to get some rest before starting a new shift early tomorrow. It’s a stark reminder that the world outside the walls of this hospital marches on. He wishes he had the power to slow it down, prevent the inevitable ending that hangs over him.

“Want to go grab some coffee?” Nancy’s voice breaks through his dark thoughts and he meets her gaze before turning towards the room that holds his heart. He knows what he wants to do. 

“I’m gonna go sit with TK.”

He feels Nancy follow his gaze and her hand landing on his shoulder. “I’ll grab you something,” she promises as they both get up and without a second glance he’s striding up to the door to TK’s room. Nothing has changed since the last time Carlos entered this room, the quiet slide of the door opening allows for the sounds inside to reach his ears. His heartbeat kicks up at the too slow, unsteady rhythm of the heart monitor. It brings him back to nights laying tangled up on the couch with TK, fingers and lips finding pulse points. The always higher than average beat of TK’s heart, that Carlos took great pride in making speed up with a well placed kiss. 

As he settles into the chair next to the bed, the hiss and click of the ventilator surrounds him. Wrapping around him like a noose, cutting off his access to the very thing that gives him life. It’s not air though, no that thing is TK, his liveliness, his energy, everything that makes up that man Carlos loves. Desperate to hear something else, besides everything that is wrong, he pulls TK’s phone out of his pocket. 

Opening the app he thinks how it’s better to listen to these now, while there is still hope, rather than later when they’re the words of a ghost. 

November 6th, 2021

Hey Carlos, is it weird if I tell you I saw you on a scene today? Probably. Sorry. You looked good. Really good. I’m glad you seem to be doing okay. 

Startled at the thought that he looked good at any time during the break up, Carlos tries to remember what shift that would have been, but the days blur together in his memory. He’s suddenly sad that he can’t remember the last time he saw TK at a scene before the disastrously awkward meeting earlier that day. 

Doctor Matterson has been encouraging me to reach out, try to talk, but I haven’t told her that I walked out and then ghosted you. I did tell her that I definitely don’t have the right to come waltzing back in, now that I finally have some shit figured out.

She says that having the conversation might do us both some good. Help us move on. Find closure. I think that it’s just easier to keep the door as firmly shut as that day I walked out. Am I a coward for that, probably, but at least I’ll survive to tell the tale. 

Move on. Find Closure. Survive to tell the tale. 

He wonders why TK’s words always land like an arrow to his heart. He wonders if he’ll ever be able to move on after this. Find the closure that TK alludes to in his message. He wonders if TK felt like he was finding closure all those months ago, or if he was just pretending like Carlos was. 

The anguish he feels hearing TK tell him that he thinks it would be better to keep the door shut. That TK forgot he held the key to every door Carlos ever had, all he had to do was come back, be there, talk, and Carlos wouldn’t have kept him out. 

Mind whirling, the sounds of the medical equipment grow louder again and Carlos clicks the next message.

November 8th, 2021

“Hey. So I’ve been keeping busy.  

TK’s voice floats over him as he stares unseeing at the body lying in the bed, unconsciously he closes his eyes, imagining the voice is coming from the man himself. 

Work has been good. Steady.

Scaled down to therapy twice a week. Meetings. I’ve been trying. 

Some days I think it’s working, but then I remember how good we had it before and how that blew up in my face. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m okay. That I’m not giving up. 

It’s such a short message, but the tone of the message is different from all the previous ones. The tone of TK’s voice pitched up, an attempt at lightheartedness. It’s not quite sincere, but there is a flicker of truth underneath it, like TK maybe had started to believe some part of what he was saying, that he wasn’t giving up. 

Carlos longs to reach out and take TK’s hand now, to beg him to keep fighting, to not give up. Old insecurities hold him back, but he moves the chair a bit closer, the legs scratching loudly across the floor, and then he leans closer still as he hits play for the next message.

November 10th, 2021

Dad left. Said he was sorry he couldn’t do more for the 126 and just ran away into hill country. I want to be so mad at him, until I remember that running is exactly what I do, did, have done. I don’t know. Some days it sucks to be a Strand.

And just like that all traces of hope are washed away again. Sucked out by the force of Owen Strand’s distinct lack of ability to be what TK needs when Owen himself is struggling to not be the hero everyone else sees him as. Anger stirs in the pit of Carlos’ stomach at the reminder that no one has been able to reach Owen since TK was admitted. That he’s not here now when TK needs him, and that he apparently hasn’t been for a long time. 

It’s a kick in the gut that despite TK’s own words several messages ago that Owen could tell he wasn’t doing well, the man still couldn’t face being just what TK needs if he couldn’t be what he wanted. 

Mom’s been trying to get me to go visit her. She’s got Jonah and can’t travel, otherwise I know she’d be here right now. She’s worried. She’s also pissed, I heard her yelling at dad through the phone. It didn’t change anything though. 

Nothing really ever changes, does it? At least not the things that matter.

The words are a clear contradiction to who TK is at his core. TK has never believed in permanence of situations/people/feelings, sometimes to the detriment of believing that nothing good ever stays, but he always believed that things could change. 

Once, TK had told him that ‘nothing ever stays the same’ and now he’s saying that ‘nothing ever changes’. He supposes the sentiments aren’t necessarily the same, but the lack of hopefulness in the words blankets him. Even at his most wary, even when he was pushing and pulling Carlos in every direction, TK never completely disregarded the possibility of things changing. 

In the beginning TK had told him he wasn’t ready. Not that he wouldn’t ever be ready.

Before the solar storm TK told him that he needed to figure out himself before he could figure them out. Not that he would never be willing to figure them out.

With Carlos’ parents, TK promised to be whatever he needed, until he was ready because, nothing ever stays the same and he had faith in Carlos being ready sometime. 

After the fire the number of times TK comforted him by reminding him that living with Owen wouldn’t be a forever thing, that things change. 

During their last fight TK had shouted that he knew it wouldn’t last, that nothing ever stays the same. At the time it had just hurt to hear those words that Carlos once took reassurance from used against him. Now he is hit with the realization that TK hasn’t had anything permanent. He hasn’t had anything stay for him, not his parents, not his sobriety, not his love.

Carlos wants to be the one to change that. Same as he always has, but now with a new understanding of why TK doesn’t believe happiness will last. 

With that thought he clicks play on the next message.  

[courtney-deserved-better]

my fair lady: part thirteen - a gwourtney choose your own adventure!

(part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | part eleven | part twelve) (read on ao3)

i'm pretty sure that this is going to be the second to last chapter of my fair lady, which means it's the last chapter you can vote on! so go check it out!

Heather.

Courtney has to vote for Heather. It’s what she and Gwen originally agreed upon, and she can’t let Gwen down. They can always eliminate Alejandro next, with Noah’s help, and as for the information Alejandro holds over Courtney… well, if push comes to shove, Courtney can deny that she has feelings for Gwen.

She totally does, though.

Resolutely, Courtney stamps Heather’s passport.

«──────────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────────»

Having been the first one to vote—for Heather, of course—Gwen makes her way to the elimination room on her own.

Which leads to her bumping into Duncan.

“Oh, hey,” Gwen says, suddenly aware of how very empty the hallway is. “I’d say glad to have you back, but…”

“…neither of us want to be here?”

“You got that right.”

Duncan sighs. “Yeah, Chris says I have to keep playing the game, that it’s in the contract or something. He could be lying outta his ass, but honestly, I don’t have energy or the knowledge to look through that whole thing and see for myself if that’s true.”

“You could always ask Courtney for help.”

“Yeah, right, like she’d do that for me. Pretty sure we’re over.”

“She said as much to me,” Gwen replies. “Actually, speaking of that…”

“No.”

“Huh?”

“No, I don’t have a thing for you despite everyone else thinking differently, so don’t ask if we can start dating now.”

“What?”

“Is that… not what you were going to ask?”

Gwen leans over and flicks his ear. “No! Egotistical much?”

“Nah, I just figured that since the world seems to think we like each other…” Duncan shrugs. “Sorry. Should’ve known you’d be cooler than that.”

“Damn right.”

“So what were you actually gonna ask me?”

“Uh, right… it’s kind of like… a bro code question?”

“Interesting.”

“So like, if someone wanted to date Courtney now that you two are broken up for good, would you immediately hate them?”

“Nah, I’d wish ‘em good luck and remind ‘em to wear a cup.”

“I’m serious, Duncan.”

“So am I!”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes. I’m over Courtney, she can date whoever she wants. I really don’t care.”

“Huh. Okay.”

“But who’s even interested?” Duncan asks. “Owen’s scared of her, Cody’s always had a thing for you, Noah’s… you know, and—Alejandro? Wait, Alejandro wants to date Courtney?”

“Um—”

“I don’t know the guy super well, but honestly, that would make sense. They’re both high achievers and stuff. I bet her parents would love him.”

“Actually—”

“Yeah I could really see them together—”

“Alejandro doesn’t want to date Courtney, I do!” Gwen blurts out.

She immediately claps her hands over her mouth.

Duncan raises his eyebrow. “Well I can’t say I was expecting that.”

“…Surprise?”

“You’re being serious.”

“I’m being serious.”

“Huh.” Duncan rubs the back of his neck. “Wow. Okay. I—honestly I can’t see that working out, like, at all, but you’d still be my friend if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Thanks, I think,” Gwen says, cheeks still flaming red. “And, I dunno. We’ve been getting along really well recently. I think we might have a chance.”

“If you think so, then go for it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, don’t get me wrong, things were shitty for most of the time I dated her, but Courtney and I had some awesome moments too. If you wanna give it a shot…”

“Duncan?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

Duncan grins and punches her arm lightly. “Hey, I’d like to think I’m a better friend than boyfriend.”

“You are,” Gwen says. “And now that you’re back, we should totally prank Chris and Chef.”

“Oh, I’m gonna make them regret letting me back on this show.”

“That’s the spirit!”

Eventually, Noah comes trudging down the hallway, and Gwen and Duncan part ways with a silent nod. Soon, all of the new Team Amazon is sitting on the benches in the elimination room.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you ladies in this room,” Chris says, nodding to Gwen, Courtney, and Heather. “Boys… wait, has Team Victory been the only team to have an elimination that didn’t require a military airlift?”

“Yeah,” everyone choruses.

“Damn, that’s… poor team balancing on my part.”

Alejandro shrugs. “You have no complaints from me.”

“Or me,” Heather says, a wicked gleam in her eye. “Let’s get on with this.”

Chris claps his hands together. “Alright! Let’s see… for never being captured and probably being the most useful teammates this entire challenge, Courtney and Gwen are safe!”

The girls grin at one another as they catch the peanut bags.

“As for you three… Noah, you slowed your team down. Heather, you refused to strip the guards. Alejandro, you were a wimp about fighting an actual serial killer. Also, you all got captured… but Noah, you’re safe.”

As Noah barely manages to catch his peanuts—sports really aren’t his forte, Gwen thinks—Heather and Alejandro smirk at one another. Gwen hides her smile in her own bag of peanuts. It’s laughable how they both think the other one is guaranteed to go home.

“And the first member of Team Amazon to be eliminated is…”

Courtney shifts nervously.

“…Heather.”

“What?” Heather and Noah chorus.

Alejandro’s smirk widens. “Adios, Heather. You were a worthy competitor… while it lasted.”

“How is that possible?” Noah mutters, eyes darting around the room.

Heather jumps to her feet. “It’s not. It’s not! Recount the votes, Chris! There were supposed to be four votes against Alejandro! Me, Noah, Courtney, and…”

“Yeah, actually,” Gwen says, “Courtney and I decided we’d rather have a gentleman on our team than you.”

“But he’s evil!”

Courtney shakes her head, fighting to keep a smile off her face. “Heather, we don’t know what you’ve been talking about this whole time. Alejandro, evil? He’s the nicest guy here!”

“But you—but—augh!” Heather huffs. “Fine, I’ll leave! But I’ve got some truth bombs for all of you. Starting with a certain weird goth girl.”

Gwen’s stomach lurches.

Uh oh. She’s going to tell Courtney how I feel about her!

[royalty-subway]

The twins with am s/o who saves pokemon from terrible trainers?

Hm. I assume you mean stuff like, people who are mistreating their Pokemon(s). Right? ;w;

I mean. I’ll just put a warning here either way. Since we’re talking about Pokemon(s) being saved from terrible trainers. ;w;

But if I mess up, you can tell me-

Sordward

… He isn’t entirely involved in matters like this. But… he can easily fuck someone over for just existing due to him being part of the monarchy.

Like… he could theoretically arrest or ruin these people as he pleases. But uh. It’s probably best if he doesn’t do that because it could be seen as “reckless” in his part-

Look, what he’s trying to get at is that maybe him being part of the monarchy could help you in your missions to some degree. Like, he’ll do whatever is in his power to help you in matters such as this.

He could try helping you by taking care of the Pokemons themselves. Or at least keeping them company until someone is willing to adopt them. He'll be a bit strict with the conditions of these people wanting to adopt though-

That is… if you even want his help because you at least know what you’re doing while he doesn’t. But eh, whatever it is, he’s proud of you.

Shielbert

Hm. Well, it’s a bit of a given that those who mistreat others, whether people or Pokemons, are some of the most scummiest people in the world.

Like, it does upset him deeply, and he honestly wishes to help you however he can. But… he’s not entirely sure how, since this could be your job or just something you do as a “heroic act”.

I think the only way he could possibly help is him being part of the monarchy (or… “diarchy” if he and his brother were to rule together, hm…), so he does hold some form of power to deal with these kinds of people, probably-

Or… he could like, take care of those Pokemons if they’re too much for you. He likes looking after Pokemons anyway, or he likes to at least try his best to be a good caretaker for a few moments.

He tends to ask a lot of questions regarding your doings. Like, he’d ask if you’re okay or where the saved Pokemons will end up being. He just wants to make sure everything is fine.

Emmet

… Do you want to know what this man thinks or considers one of the worst things imaginable someone can do? It’s this, quite literally this; treating Pokemons like absolute shit.

I’m sorry, but nothing excuses shit like this or anything closely related to that. Yeah, if you couldn’t tell, he has a strong opinion and is very serious about matters such as this.

He’d sent these sorts of assholes to Tartarus if he could. But he’ll just keep his mouth shut and let people like you do your job as you properly should.

Yes, he’s happy and grateful that you’re stopping these issues from happening. But… at the same time, he doesn’t really wish to hear specific details on the matter because it does genuinely upset him.

Like, just know that he’s happy for you and those Pokemons you saved. And he’s willing to help out however he can. But uh, yeah.

Ingo

Hm… You know, sometimes on the subway itself, these sorts of things happen; where people mistreat their Pokemons or others. Even to a point that sometimes there’s a need to be an interference.

Yes, if necessary, he, along with Emmet, can and will interfere with situations like this. Such as getting law enforcement involved. Even if they don’t want to. But it’ll be pretty saddening either way. So might as well.

He’s genuinely glad to have people like you, whose jobs are to deliberately solve issues like this. But he knows damn well that these sorts of jobs usually take a lot from you. As in, it’s not fun to be part of situations like this, for all parties involved.

That is… if it is your job. Maybe you’re doing this for the hell of it…? Which would be illegal, but at least your heart is kinda in the right place.

Eh. Whatever it may be, you can always talk to him about your endeavors. He’ll always be there to listen or help you out as much as he can.