#homelander is a cowboy

[sellander]

My the boys oc and homelander as cowboys

[deliciouskeys]

This fic has been entirely inspired by @vanshoundd's Butchlander cowboy AU art. I went feral after I saw it and wrote 3k words as soon as my work week was over. The art didn't need fic, but... um... now you have it.

(thank you for keeping the Butchlander tag alive with your pretty art, Vans)

Frontier Justice. Butchlander.

Billy had just ordered his third glass of whiskey when a blond stranger strolled in through the swinging doors of the bar. The man decided to situate himself on the stool right beside him even though there were plenty of empty seats at the bar at this early evening hour. Billy glanced over as the man took off his bright white leather hat and set it on the stool beside him, wiped the sweat off his brow and took out an actual comb to rearrange his matted hair. He looked so very familiar and Billy was trying to place him. When the barman came over to ask the stranger ‘what’ll it be?’ and he ordered a sarsaparilla, Billy couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me.”

“Bout what?” the man asked nonchalantly, even as popped the metal cap off the glass bottle the barman took out from underneath the bar.

Billy realized it was odd to be irritated by another man’s beverage choice, but this was ridiculous. “Enjoyin’ that?”

“Yeah?” the other man answered in an equally querying tone.

Looking at him carefully, Billy suddenly pieced together why the man looked familiar. “Say, aren’t you that Jack Lander fellow?”

“Indeed,” Jack answered, taking another long sip from the long bottle neck. “You a fan?”

“Just didn’t recognize you without all ‘em rhinestones and garish boots.”

Jack Lander was a notorious figure in the area. He gained his fame by traveling around with the Wild West Show that went around the bigger towns. He was an incredible natural talent, probably the best marksman this side of the Mississippi, and an expert with the lasso, although Billy always thought it was mostly showy tricks than good old-fashioned useful skills. Jack used to wow audiences with all sort of ridiculous feats like standing up on a galloping horse and managing to shoot glass bottle targets on the run. Billy attended twice before the show shut down, the first time dragged against his will by Hughie, a young ranchhand who was eager to see the show. The next year when the show came around, Billy went into town on his own, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like seeing Jack Lander’s gaudy button shirt with rhinestone highlights across the chest and shoulders, catching the afternoon light seductively. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t notice how pretty Jack’s ass was in those newfangled denim dungarees you couldn’t get at most supply stores, stretched drum-tight around his hips and legs, a pretty blue color. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t rub one out in his tent that night, remembering the way Jack looked doing all his fancy trick roping.

Jack hmphed into his bottle of root beer. “What was wrong with my boots?”

“Other than the fact they were scarlet red and the spurs were painted to look like gold? Nothing at all.” Billy chuckled.

“Those were for the ladies in the audience,” Jack said flatly.

Jack Lander was certainly a ladykiller, but the reality was there were still not many as many ladies out here as fellows, and Billy couldn’t believe this man didn’t enjoy at least some attention from men on the side. “Didn’t realize it was exclusively for the ladies,” he said, winking, taking the last sip of his whiskey, gauging Jack’s reaction out of the corner of his eye.

Far from rebuffing the flirtation, Jack finally turned and looked at him, and smiled amiably. He made to clink bottle to glass before noticing Billy had finished his whiskey, and motioned the bartender over to ask for a refill for his ‘friend.’

“I’ll be paying for it,” Billy reassured the bartender who looked at the two of them skeptically. “It’ll be my fourth and the sun ain’t even set yet...” Billy warned Jack as he raised the refilled glass.

“Should have ordered sarsaparilla,” Jack said in sing-song, winking, clinking bottle to glass.

“Why are ya drinkin that vile kid stuff?”

“Because I’m thirsty?” Jack paused before adding. “And I like my hand steady and my wits about me.”

“Wits, huh. Well you might enjoy the conversation with me a bit more if ya didn’t have so many wits about you.”

Jack laughed, flashing his miraculously perfect white teeth, none of them crooked, broken, or worn down.

Billy glanced down to see he had not one but two holsters at each hip. What the hell did he need four revolvers and such a steady hand for? All Billy knew about Jack after the Wild West Show shut down a few years ago was that he started making his living bounty hunting. Sometimes it was runaway criminals, awful men. A lot of the time it was Apaches and Comanches that he’d shoot on sight, which was against the law, strictly speaking, not that there was anyone around here who would ever enforce it. It was a risky and cruel profession compared to driving herds across the plains like Billy was usually hired to do. It was a wonder that not only was Jack still alive, but that he looked not at all worse for the wear, even though his days of sleeping in a comfortable wagon trailer and getting glammed up for shows were over. His outfit was more practical, certainly-- baggier, brown trousers and coat with grime on the lower hems, a wide brim hat with no embellishments, unless one counted the visible salt fronts from head sweat. But he still had a small red bandana tied around his collar, and the shirt peeking out from underneath his coat was still a crisp white cotton number from what Billy could see of it. Billy was surprised at how tempting it was to peel Jack out of his layers and see if he was still a dandy at heart, and if his shirt was tailored to be form-fitting.

They both finished off their drinks, eyeing each other. They got up and Billy paid both of their tabs.

As soon as they walked out of the bar, Jack pulled Billy into the narrow shady alley between the bar and the next building—an inn of ill-repute of some sort.

“Can you really afford to be paying for other people’s drinks, William?” Jack asked in a hushed tone. Billy’s body was responding swiftly to being in close quarters with this man, but he soon felt the end of a revolver pressed into his chest. “From what I’ve heard of you, all you’ve done is rustled some cattle for someone else every now and then. Truth be told, I don’t even know why there’s a large bounty on your head when you haven’t held up a train or robbed a bank or been in any sort of bandit gang.”

Billy smiled wryly. He had his long rifle slung over his shoulder, but there was no way he could defend himself with it now. “Should’ve figured they’d put a bounty on me. Reckon it might’ve been the sheriff I shot over in Bitter Creek.”

“Ah, that’d do it,” Jack grinned, and his perfect white teeth looked more menacing in the shade of the alley. “Why the hell would you do that, William Butcher.”

“You can call me Billy if you’re going to end me. The sheriff was a piece of work, I got on the wrong side of him and it was going to be him or me. I didn’t run afoul of anything, he just took it into his mind that he didn’t like me. He hanged eight innocent people in the span of a few months working at that godforsaken little outpost. Mad with power. But I guess someone like you wouldn’t be judging a man for that.”

Jack smiled, more friendly this time without the rowful of teeth. There wasn’t really anything to lose. Billy leaned forward, despite the barrel of the Colt digging into his flesh, flicked the hat off Jack’s head and full-on kissed his would-be judge and executioner.

Jack inhaled in surprise, but returned the kiss full force, the faint taste of whiskey and the soft drink still on their lips intermingling. Jack eased the gun away, fumbling to put it back in the holster, breathing a quiet muffled moan into the kiss.

“Fuck-“ he said as he tore away. “Jesus Christ.”

“I would like the honor of fucking you. Just once. Before you bring my head in or whatever it is you do for proof of your kills.”

Jack was staring at him, pupils blown wide, still breathing hard.

“Take off your fucking coat. Let me look at ya,” Billy said, surprising himself with how imperious he sounded when he was in pretty dire straits.

Jack obeyed him wordlessly. Took off his coat, but didn’t give Billy much of a chance to admire him-- launched himself right back into the kiss, as if he were parched and Billy’s mouth was water. Jack’s figure hadn’t changed much since the show years, nice tapered waist that Billy instinctively grasped. Jack was a couple of inches shorter than him, and light enough that Billy simply lifted him off his feet, planting him on one of the water barrels stored in the alley. Jack didn’t protest, only pulled Billy in closer, pulling his hat out of the way before kissing him again.

They came apart again. Billy was out of breath too. “I’ll be honest, if you tease me like that I’m liable to just fuck you in the alley. Rather do it somewhere else. Unless you’re in a real rush to get to your next target.”

“Can’t say I am,” Jack said, still catching his breath.

“I don’t have a room at the inn. I sleep in a tent outside of town until there’s another cattle run.”

“Fine by me.” Jack shrugged. “I’ll fuck you under the stars. Inn here’s nothing to write home about-- got lice the one time I stayed the night coming through here before.”

Billy smiled wistfully. They rode out of town, the sun already low near the horizon, and the air quickly shifting from stifling to pleasantly cool to chilly. Jack was following behind him, having taken Billy’s rifle too. Billy thought about how maybe this was all a strange ploy to just kill him outside of the town line. Jack could shoot him from behind, and knowing his aim, he wouldn’t have any trouble dispatching him with one shot to the head, before Billy knew what hit him. But when Billy dared look behind him, Jack would smile, looking eager for what they had planned. No fear that Billy could lead him into an ambush of some sort. Pure unadulterated confidence. Billy found his tent site, and took a few minutes to build a small fire in the stone ring he’d made before. Maybe he was just stalling, knowing that once they did the deed, he was probably not long for this world. He saw Jack’s black boots come into his view once the fire was going strong.

“You wanna get on with it?” Jack said, and there was a note of whininess in his tone.

“Put the guns away, at least,” Billy muttered. “So I can peel you out of that outfit.”

His tent really wasn’t made for fucking—too narrow and low for anything but sleeping. The air wasn’t too cold yet. Billy lay out as many thick blankets as he could on the ground and Jack seemed to have no reservations, starting to strip himself down.

“You a seasoned rider?” Billy asked tugged off his brown pants.

Jack pulled a face. “Ridden my share. Tame, wild, you name it. Just so long as I like the look of it, I’ll ride it.”

This was a fantasy come true. That irritating pretty rodeo cowboy he was so taken with years ago was lying underneath him, ripe for the taking, admitting to wanting it. Billy opened his shirt carefully, not wanting to ruin the fancy tailoring or ivory buttons. The shirt wasn’t pristine white—there were pitstains and a bit of yellowness around the back of the collar. Jack wasn’t as perfect up close as he was in the rodeo ring. He smelled like horses, hay, and gunpowder.

“Reckon I’ll spare you if you’re real sweet to me,” Jack said, a smug smile on his face.

“And what if I’m rough?” Billy asked. He was almost reluctant to do it but reached into his boot and pulled out a sizeable knife that he pressed against Jack’s throat. Jack’s breath hitched, but he didn’t look too unnerved. This sick son-of-a-bitch looked like he was getting a thrill out of it.

“What if I’m rough with ya and take what I want then just slit your throat and leave you here in the desert for the crows?”

Jack was still smiling. “You won’t want to.”

“Why? Cause you’re such a good fuck?”

“Cause I like your style and you don’t seem like the kind.” Jack leaned forward, so that Billy instinctively moved the knife away from his throat before remembering himself.

Billy shoved him down into the blankets, holding him there because Jack kept trying to get up and resume kissing, or maybe intent on getting away and getting to the guns he’d discarded a few yards away. “Soft enough for you? Warm enough?”

Jack nodded. As Billy pulled Jack’s pants off his legs, his cock sprang out of its confines, raring to go. You’d never know they were negotiating who was going to murder whom. Jack Lander was a pretty little thing alright. A deadly, dangerous, unscrupulous little thing with a terrible profession, but Billy didn’t mind.

Billy didn’t want to have the knife in his hand. He wanted to take his time and enjoy this. As long as he kept this self-satisfied little strumpet of a man underneath him, he could probably hold him down with his weight. He threw the knife out of reach and picked up Jack’s legs over his own shoulders. He spat a gob of spit into his palm, quickly preparing himself, testing the body in front of him out with two probing fingers.

Jack squirmed but looked receptive, but when Billy pushed himself inside, there was a grunt of discomfort.

“Don’t have oil on me,” Billy muttered, kneading his hand against the soft flesh of Jack’s ass.

“Didn’t think you would,” Jack shot back, laughing.

Billy spat more into his hand, pulling out just enough to add a bit more to the mix.

“You gonna fuck me or what?” Jack said, sneering, moving his knees so Billy’s neck was squeezed tight between his calves. What Billy thought was a vulnerable position for Jack now let him choke Billy with relative ease. Billy shoved his legs down but Jack just wrapped his legs around Billy’s waist, digging his heels into him out of habit, as if even without spurs the motion could cause things to move along faster.

“Don’t you worry, I’ll fuck ya,” Billy gritted out through his teeth and set up a fast pace. He still couldn’t believe his fortune, both good and bad. He never thought anyone would bother looking for him—he hadn’t even shot that sheriff fatally, but he left town to be on the safe side and heard through hearsay that the bastard died of blood infection anyway. But if there was ever a good way to get hunted down this was probably it. If Jack Lander still managed to kill him, at least he got to fuck him first.

It was growing dark and the campfire cast flickering light along Jack’s pale skin, and their shadows against the tent looked elongated and distorted. Their two horses watched them from the post they’re tied to. Jack turned out to be quite a screamer, shouting and cursing into the empty desert when he came, hands going from tight fists to falling completely limp by his side. Billy pushed in quickly, relentlessly, satisfied that he made the other man mewl first. It wasn’t long before he came too. He slumped down on Jack, as much out of physical tiredness as growing mentally weary when he thought about how he’d probably have to kill Jack. At the very least, he’d have to take all the guns and both horses if he didn’t want Jack to follow him to the next town.

“You plottin’ what to do about me?” Jack asked, as if reading his mind. “I’m not gonna kill ya. I’m not gonna turn you in. I don’t need the money. I do this for my own pleasure.”

Billy relented and shifted his body weight off of him, courteously offering Jack the side closer to the campfire, but saying nothing.

Jack moved closer, pressing his body into Billy’s and looking sleepy. Neither was probably planning on it, but they fell asleep in the open air, only waking up when the fire died down and the air had gotten nippy. They shuffled into the tent, Jack falling asleep before Billy, squeezed close, arms in a loose embrace around him.

The next morning Jack was sitting there, watching Billy build another campfire. He looked half-asleep, shivering, wrapped in one of the blankets, with only his head showing and his hair mussed.

“I don’t have any more wood. We’re gonna have to resort to prairie coal this morning.”

“You think I’m so soft? That I never slept outdoors or made do with what’s out here?”

“You don’t look like you have.”

“Well you’re mistaken.” Jack looked away towards the horses before turning back. “I was meaning to ask you... if you were interested in my line of work at all?”

Billy only laughed in response.

“It’s not the most glamorous of jobs, I’ll give you that, but it’s better than doing cattle drives for other people. You might be good at catchin’ these villains.”

“Catching? Thought the point was to kill them. Dead or alive usually just means dead.”

Jack sighed.

“Why’re you so eager to get more competitors in your territory in any case?” Billy asked, finally stepping back from the fire to admire his handiwork, before putting a pot of morning coffee on.

“I was thinking more along the lines of a partnership. I do well enough on my own, but everyone needs a backup now and then. And it gets lonely out on the trail.”

Billy laughed. “Nah, you and I? We ain’t got anything in common. I never wanted to kill people as a profession.”

“Well, I know we’ve got an interest in the same type of night entertainment at least,” Jack muttered under his breath.

Billy stopped himself short when he caught himself imagining that kind of life. It was insane to even consider it.

“You don’t think Lander & Butcher has a certain ring to it?” Jack asked, smiling, unwrapping himself from the blanket and moving closer to the fire, stretching out his hands towards the flames. “We could bring some real frontier justice to these parts.”

[macaronholy]

Cowlander

[tearueful]

I apologize for how I will be tomorrow when the S4 trailer of The Boys hopefully drops.

lol, jk. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MY HUSBAND AGAIN.

[karokawwo]

i hope boothill shows up more in future quests/events OR better yet he gets the itto treatment and they give him an annual event but PLEAASE this cannot be last time I see him i'll die I'LL DIEE

[merry-andrews]

Adding a little doodle here :3>

I was thinking of a Homelander but in army too hehe. Him and Billy both are commanders but from different units, they actually can't stand eachother but their governments are working together so now they're stuck together in this mission.🤭💗

SOO Billy Butcher 

[sweeterlovers]

REMINDERS / DANIEL RICCIARDO

daniel ricciardo x influencer reader / SMAU FIC

SUMMARY / daniel being down bad for his hot gf

FACE CLAIM / jazmyn makenna

WARNINGS / suggestive comments/banter

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TWITTER

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INSTAGRAM

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, and 230,467 others

yourusername went to daniel’s 2nd homeland (texas)

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user8 she makes texas look so aesthetic

user01 it’s the YN effect

user09 her cowgirl boots are so adorable wth

danielricciardo hey cowgirl 🤠

yourusername hey cowboy 😏

danielricciardo ;)))))

user234 🏟️🏟️🏟️

user2 isn’t the austin gp in like a week? or am i crazy??

user766 last time i checked it was next monday soo idk

yourusername me and daniel decided to go a little earlier and spend some time around texas. we even rented out a little cabin and everything soo im excited 😊

user2 OHHHH! that makes a lot more sense, have fun :)

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danielricciardo me and my cowgirl ❤️

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user20 “MY COWGIRL” i’m crying 😭

user65 NO CAUSE I READ AND I STOPPED BREATHING FOR A SECOND

user20 me and you both

user5 they match each others vibes

user13 one of my favorite couples on the grid

yourusername you know what they say?

danielricciardo what?

yourusername save a horse ride a cowboy……

danielricciardo is that so?

yourusername mhmm

danielricciardo do you want to test that out?

yourusername 🙈

user99 OHHHHHHH

user566 they went to texas and know they are all over each other in the comments

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INSTAGRAM

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yourusername me and my cowboy went out to a bar last night and pretended to be southern 👍 so if you think you saw us you didn’t

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user572 that dress thooooo

user0083 it fits her perfectly 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

user0872 she is soo scrumptious

danielricciardo roar 🦁 🦁

yourusername roar roar roar ki ki ����

maxverstappen1 she sounds hungover

danielricciardo she is :)

yourusername hello max, do you have a crush on charles?

maxverstappen1 i’m leaving

user076 i need more of hungover YN

user34 i would be a furry for her ngl

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INSTAGRAM STORIES

[ twitter is right, how on earth did i pull this goddess? ]

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ynismygf really tho?

motheryn that’s what we are all wondering

yourusername pleasee how did i pull you?

danielricciardo don’t even….you are the most gorgeous woman i have ever met + half of F1 twitter thinks your “mother” what ever that means?

yourusername i am in fact mother 💋

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INSTAGRAM

liked by danielricciardo, yourbestfriend, and 560,789 others

yourusername guess who took these photos? 💋💋

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user0966 mommy.

user334 MY WIFE HAS POSTED!!!

user086 let me guess..daniel!

danielricciardo yeah i’m basically her photography now :)

yourusername don’t worry i’m not forcing him…..photo credits to dani 🤠

user54 🤍

user037 he could be a photographer honestly

yourusername you should check his jpg account :)

danielricciardo thanks for the promotion baby

yourusername anytime 👏

user05 she is sooo fineee

yourbestfriend GORGEOUS GIRL

yourusername uno reverse 🔄

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daniel3.jpg since i’m YN’s photographer, i thought i would post some photos from her many many shopping sprees that couldn’t make it on instagram 🤍 @ yourusername

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user80 they are so cute

yourbestfriend MOTHER IS MOTHERING ‼️‼️

yourusername PLSSS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY WIFE

daniel3.jpg soo i hate to interrupt this moment but she is my girlfriend 🙏

yourbestfriend is she though? is she?

daniel3.jpg i’d like to think so

user50 daniel is a tad confused

user68 NOT THEM FIGHTING OVER YN

user085 if YN was my girlfriend i would fight over he 24/7

user6 that’s so true tho

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4/10/24 - send in requests!!!! xoxo sweeterlovers

[raytheanarchive]

⨾ Yuuza Introduction 🐁ˎˊ˗

❛❛Just what kind of trouble will I be dragged in today? ❞

Tamamura Yuuza is a first-year and the prefect of long abandoned Ramshackle dormitory. His only goal is to find a way back to his world.

ִ ࣪𖤐 - Biolographical Information

Gender : Male

Age : 17

Birthday : July 30

Height : 171

Eye Color : Petrichor blue (right), Chromaphobic Black(left)

Hair Color : Cowboy brown

Homeland : Japan

Family : Unnamed parents, unnamed grandfather

ִ ࣪𖤐 - Professional Status

Dorm : Ramshackle

School Year : First

Class : 1-A (Student no.9)

Occupation : Student (½ with Grim)

Club : Sculpture club

Best Subject : Arts

ִ ࣪𖤐 - Fun Facts

Dominant Hand : Right

Favourite Food : Cheesecake

Least Favourite Food : Crustaceans, Tuna

Dislikes : Being nagged by others

Hobby : Taking pictures with Ghost Camera

Talents : Wood carving

♯ —Appearance

Yuuza has messy dark brown hair and blue eye on the right. His left eye however is black and covered by his fringe, black veins present under the eye.

♯ —Personality

Yuuza wouldn't approach anyone unless someone initiated it first. He's awkward but friendly in a way, often does his best to help someone in need but of course, it depends on his mood (and the person asking for it). He dislikes competition and would avoid it like the plague. In reality, Yuuza lacked confidence on his skills. He has a habit of complaining about everything. He has a severe trust issue and doesn't like being seen as weak and vulnerable.

♯ —Trivia

Yuuza is twisted from Mickey Mouse, specifically from the game, Epic Mickey.

His birthday is in the National Cheesecake Day which also happened to be his favorite food.

He's lacking in physical strength.

Yuuza is afraid of fire due to an incident when he was a child.

Parts of his hair burned by Grim's fire back when he was awake inside a coffin in the early story.

Yuuza often comes over to his Grandfather's workshop to learn about wood carving.

Headache is his number one enemy.

He has a crustacean allergy.

He posts random scenery on Magicam. If not, It'll be Grim's.

𖧧࣪ . ִֶָ๋ Voice Claim

✶⋆.˚ Gallery

[beardedalcoholic]

Space Cowboys

The humans had abandoned them. After seemingly endless cycles of fighting the battle was about to be lost and the war with it, and the humans had left them to fight for themselves.

‘So much for the legendary pack-bonding of humans.’ Krillna thought to himself as he leaned around his bunker to lay down some suppressing fire on the enemy. Tungsten rods magnetically accelerated to near supersonic speed ripped into the battle field and enemies died by the dozens…but it wasn’t enough.

Seemingly endless waves of the reptilian enemies known as the Slentine seemed to crawl and slither towards their position. Fields of scales and fangs greeted him every time he looked around his barrier, looks of desperation and hopelessness looked back every time he turned away from the battle.

“You would think the humans could have at least left us the weapons before they ran like cowards!” cried out one soldier before he was cut down by enemy fire.

Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’

“Did anyone else hear that?” Krillna asked after firing another salvo of rounds towards the slowly advancing enemy. Looking at his ammo counter and seeing it was empty, Krillna threw his weapon to the ground and grabbed the ceremonial bone dagger the warriors of his people were gifted upon maturity.

Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’

Holding the blade to his chest and breathing the prayers of his youth, Krillna begged the seven skies of his homeland for the power of the mighty storm, pleaded for his spirit to be flown on the winds to his ancestors. Finding himself at the end of his prayers and ready to face the enemy head on and to fight tooth, bone and claw in the ways of his ancestors, Krillna couldn’t help but think he heard something on the wind again. Looking to the forest side of the battlefield, Krillna felt a rumbling through the pads of his clawed foot.

Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ RAWHIIIIIDE!

With the sound of thunder and snapping trees, Krillna felt all three of his hearts stop and fall.

Gierophants, mighty horned beasts weighing several tons with great crests of hardened skin behind the skull to protect the neck and a row of spines extending the length of the spine, each one several times as tall as Krillna’s seven foot frame. Easy to anger, nearly impossible to outrun, harder to damage and often found in herds of fifty to one-hundred the gierophant was this world’s largest inhabitant, but Krillna thought he saw something on the back of the lead beast.

Humans.

Humans were riding the gierophants…a herd of what looked to be sixty or more and each one had a human standing on the snout of the creature and even more behind the crest or between the dorsal spines.

RAIN AND WIND AND WEATHER

The humans were either lashed to a spine or each other with lengths of rope and each one was firing wildly into the horde of enemies, hanging sideways from the flanks of the great beasts, weaving between the spines, crouching behind the crest and all were firing their rifles.

HELL BENT FOR LEATHER

“Sir? Am I having a substance dream or are those humans riding Gierophants into the Slentine ranks in a stampede while singing what sounds like a human battle song?” A young warrior asked in disbelief as the battle field seemed to come to a stop. The pause didn’t last long as the slentine soldiers quickly turned their weapons on the stampede of human madness and animal rage.

WISHING MY GIRL WAS BY MY SIIIDEEE!

“You are most definitely seeing this pup, the crazy humans went and did the impossible again…WARRIORS OF CANTRAXA!” Krillna called out to the stunned warriors behind him, filled with a renewed hope for victory.

“DRAW YOUR BLADES AND RELOAD YOUR WEAPONS, THE HUMANS HAVE GIVEN US THIS CHANCE AND BY THE FIRE PLAINS OF OUR HOME WORLD I WILL NOT STAND BY AND MAKE NOTHING OF IT!” Holding his blade high above his head the Pack-Master let loose the battle cry of his ancestors with such ferocity that it seemed to ring from the very heavens, turned from his comrades and ran face first into the chaos of the newly evened battle.

ALL THE THINGS IM MISSIN’

Three hardened battle packs of Cantraxa warriors, thought to be beaten down by sheer numbers and attrition, thought to be defeated and simply too stupid to understand… howled. Each and every one felt what the humans referred to as battle lust and with the feeling of fire singing in their veins each and every one reached deep into their souls and called the ancient war cries of times long past. GOOD VITTLES, LOVE AND KISSIN’

The humans sang on, swinging wildly from the sides of the Gierophants or hanging on with one hand and firing with the other, seemingly oblivious to the rounds of enemy’s fire flying past them. With every human felled the others seemed to sing louder. Krillna was in awe of these small hairless creatures as he ran towards the battle, they rode the great beasts of this world like they were born to it, they faced a horde of enemies without fear and sang their defiance in the face of death and defeat. ARE WAITING AT THE END OF MY RIIIIIIDEEEEE~

================================================

The battle was won, the slentine ranks had been broken in half by the stampede and when the front ranks turned to fire on the new threat they were drowned in an avalanche of fur and fang, bullet and bone from the Cantraxa warriors.

The humans had run over and shot down much of the enemy, the field had been churned to a bloody mud pit of broken bodies and weapons, the Gierophants were long gone by then, the humans had dismounted and returned to base.

Krillna watched in curious amazement as the humans went about their post battle chores.

Groups of humans combing the battlefield for survivors, pulling bodies from the muck and determining if they could be saved or not. Slentine and Cantraxian alike were given final honors or medical aid…mere hours before these small hairless maniacs were riding juggernauts of death into battle while singing and laughing and now, they were providing aid and respect to not only their comrades but the enemy as well.

Amazing graaaceee

A hauntingly sad and seemingly profound song floated like fog over the battle field from somewhere among the humans.

How sweet the sound

Funeral pyres and graves were dug according to cultural wishes, wounded were cared for regardless of species or alignment in the war. Bodies counted and tears were shed that day and as the last sun in the sky fell below the horizon, Krillna found himself surrounded by his warriors and humans.

Holding a strange liquid in his cup, the humans called it beer…or maybe stout?...Krillna looked to the leader of the humans as she stood upon a table laden with food and drink.

“Tonight, we celebrate our victory!” The humans cheered and the Cantraxans yipped and howled like pups.

 “Tonight, we mourn our glorious fallen!” With a silence that choked the very soul, every human raised their drink to the memory of those they had lost and drank deeply. Krillna and his warriors all mimicked the humans in their silence and honors.

 “Tonight…we honor our worthy enemies.” The commander of the humans raised her cup one last time and as one all the humans followed. Krillna could not see the reason behind the last one but was not about to comment on it while surrounded by humans.

Instruments were tuned and soon employed to their fullest extent as humans began dancing and singing, wagers were made, games were played and for a few moments Krillna could almost believe that they were simply back in his homeland celebrating the lunar convergence festival.

Spotting the human leader on the outskirts of the revelry Krillna silently approached the human as she slowly drank and watched those she had shed blood with. Stepping on a fallen can of some kind alerted the commander and as she whipped her head towards Krillna, he froze in place…the look in her eyes was not that of a celebration, but rather that of battle mad soldiers. Items within reach categorized as weapons, responses and plans ranging from peacefully violent to disturbingly chaotic flashed through her face in seconds. Her grip on the cup she held and the tensing of her muscles told Krillna that she had to stop herself from launching the cup at his face.

Raising his clawed hands in a sign of peace Krillna approached the commander slowly. As he approached the tiny human, no more than five feet tall, Krillna noticed tears leaking from her eyes in a steady stream cutting tracks through the remaining dirt and grime upon her cheeks. Hands shaking the commander raised the nearly impromptu projectile to her mouth and took a steadying sip before addressing the large warrior.

“What can I do for you Pack-Master?” Asked the commander as she turned her eyes back to the celebration before her.

“You do not celebrate victory like the others? Why do you spill tears so freely War Mother?” Krillna asked, using the honorific of the greatest female warriors of his people.

“I uh…it just takes a little time for me to wind down from battle and get into the spirit of things, eventually I’ll head out and show these youngsters how to really party but for now I will just have to deal with the aftermath of the adrenalin.” The commander said with a small shake to her voice.

“I have heard of this adrenalin, most species would simply die if exposed to it but you humans produce it naturally?” The Pack-Master asked.

“Yes, our bodies naturally produce it and well…it dissipates quicker for some and for others it sticks around longer. Battle madness, bloodlust, berserker rage and more are just different names of the same thing, active or excess adrenalin…our minds are changed and muscles freed of restraints while under its influence but afterwards we have to put the beast back in the cage and deal with the mess it made, physically, mentally and spiritually.” The commander responded with a look in her eyes that said she was looking deep into the past.

“How did you humans tame the Gierophants? It was previously thought impossible to even safely approach them never mind ride them or direct them.” Krillna asked in an attempt to steer the conversation away from the maudlin thoughts the commander seemed to be sinking into.

With an almost visible brightening of her features the commander looked up at Krillna.

“We didn’t actually tame them, we were trying to find either a good escape route to get everyone out or possibly a way to ambush the Slentine army, make them fight on two fronts as it were. We ran across the herd of Gierophants by accident and sort of came up with the plan on the spot, we figured if they started to stampede in our direction the base would be destroyed but if they went just little to the side they would hit our enemies. Jackson over there used to be what we call a ‘Cowboy’ and said if you can point a bull’s nose in one direction the body would follow, so we made some lassos and climbing rigs and well, the rest is history.” The commander finished with a small shrug and a decidedly less shaky sip of her drink.

 Krillna was almost to shocked to breath.

“You found a herd of the planet’s largest and most dangerous animal, decided to irritate them into charging you with the enemy directly behind, hoping that they would run over said enemy and while they did that you threw ropes on them so you could climb onto them and ride them…you humans are insane.” with a shake of his great furred head Krillna could only thank the seven skies that these lunatics were on their side.

With a laugh the commander tipped the last of her drink back and wrapped her hand around one of his fingers, his hand being large enough to completely encompass her own, and began to pull him towards the firelight of the bonfires, a mischievous light in her eyes and a smile that spoke of wicked delights to come on her lips.

“Oh you haven’t even begun to see the madness of humanity, come and we shall sing you songs of our people.” The commander laughed as the crowd enveloped them, music wound through the air like smoke, soldiers and warriors alike danced and spun and Krillna could only laugh as he downed the rest of his drink and threw reservations to the wind with a final thought.

‘Humans are weird, but wonderful.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

With proper Space Age Cosmere just over the horizon, from what we've seen, Sanderson is very good at making the cultures he already had us fall in love with fucking infuriating from an outside perspective. Like damn, with Sixth of Dusk and The Sunlit Man, Scadrians are a bunch of fucking bitches, aren't they?

[dallasgallant]

American remains- Ghost Au lore post

I do have a eventual actual fic coming for this au so it won’t be as extensively written out here like for my vampire au, it helps that it’s also more canon aligned so there’s not too much extra world building involved.

World-

The world will be that of the canon world just with a tad more belief in ghosts/ they exist. I’d think it’d be easy to believe in legends and ghost when driving alone at night in a plains state anyway.

With that in mind it wouldn’t be uncommon to see a cowboys final ride or a soldiers last stand play out again and again. The people of Tulsa know it’s not just a building settling or the air conditioner.

It’s easy to believe if you open yourself to it, but you never expect your encounter to be with someone you knew. Ponyboy didn’t.

Ghosts-

All types of ghosts exist in this world, a lot of them being the more grounded ‘real life’ orbs and cold spots and simpler manifestations like that. There was moments that replay but aren’t a direct ghost more shadows of the past, buildings absorb negative energy and tragedy etc.

I want to focus more on direct apparitions as that’s what Johnny and Dally would be classified as, a bit of the standard fair when it comes to ghosts… sudden or violent death, stuck in this plane etc.

But with a twist, I really want this au to explore the cycles of grief and how it’s a non linear thing- and in this case affects the living and the dead. In the end no one moves on entirely…

It’s all about what makes a ghost or what makes a person stay, the cycles of grief and trauma, the weight people carry of a place and time or someone. The power of memory!

A huge inspiration for this au, beyond cowboy and civil war ghosts was the line towards the end of the book where Pony is thinking about boys who crumble under street lamps and jump at their own shadow and even himself— about how it’s too late for some but not others.

And it reminds me of American Remains by the Highwaymen and its chorus:

We are heroes of the homeland, American remains. We live in many faces and answer many names. We will not be forgotten, we won't be left behind. Our memories live on in mortal minds. And poets pens, we'll ride again.

How broader issues connect people in their struggle and how people get left behind over and over but are never forgotten- they come back. They’re simultaneously forgotten and immortalized - so many alike but also individual. Pony already wrote about them…

The thought that memory and pain bind. People die but ideas don’t.

It’s late and I really hope it’s understandable how this connects to ghosts and grief.

The au isn’t all deep subjects sometimes… it’s just neat spooky stuff.

Ghosts have a lot more agency when it comes to ‘moving on’ than traditional stories, it’s that they trap themselves. Or forget. At the end of the day ghosts are human- their cycles are too.

Unfinished business is less of a task and more of something they have to figure out- find acceptance/peace with.

Ghost lore-

A lot of haunting involves utilizing energy and radio frequencies to interact with the rest of the world. In the modern (1960s) age- radio and power lines are abundant. Ghosts prefer to be visible— with visibility comes personhood. It’s not constant, depending on energy and their connection it could be hard to keep it up.

Ghosts appear as they died, in most cases. Johnny tends to… flicker. Sometimes it’s a hospital gown, sometimes it’s jeans and a shirt but the burns remain. When haunting and not just wandering he’d prefer to be clothed.

[Included picture reference for Ponyboy as he’s the only of the living gang to undergo a more ‘drastic’ change. The others would just look a little older.]

Dally may constantly bleed but his blood will not stain anything, it disappears a few minutes after he does. What will stain is a residue left behind from ghost interacting with objects (fun non angsty lore)

To communicate with the living they’d have to manipulate radio, to those they speak with they’ll be a warm crackle to their voice as they speak through it … the voice always sounds distant too despite being right in front of you. (Sort of like making themselves a spirit box)

Johnny and Dally are both Semi-cognizant at the start of the au, both hyper aware of death and the passage of time but for them no time has passed. It is always then. Stuck in a place and time mentally and physically.

Out there on the sides of roads, out there in the dark waiting to be noticed and spoken to. Their main sort of “territory” is the roads and fields leading to windrixville, only sometimes making it fully back to Tulsa.

There’s been several times pony thought he saw them but it isn’t until they show up in the backseat of his car one late night drive it’s revealed. He’s driven by enough times, the ghosts get tired of waiting. Their first interaction is brief as pony nearly swerves off the road.

The two of them want desperately to reconnect with the gang, I’ve recently heard this but they “haunt for company.”

Don’t quite know where it’ll go yet but I’d love to hear ideas or see where others take it :)

Living-

Since this au is a tad more tied to canon these are also my general future headcanons, so if you see them in other works…

-

Ponyboy: 17. more of a troublemaker than he was as a young teen. He’s not doing anything too wild but will jack a car or two, gotten his grades back on track but is unsure where he wants to go with his life. Currently working at a grocery store to help out.

Soda: 19. started a career as a trucker, is around less than usual but still communicates with everyone via radio (Steve had begged for one to be put in at the DX) and phone calls when he gets the chance

Darry: 23. still working the same two jobs but is aiming towards a bookkeeping focus (pony is trying to push him that way) can understand Pony a little better, is more worried about Soda on the road at the moment. Better adjusted as he managed to keep them all together and Pony is set to graduate down the line.

Steve: 20. Graduated high school! Is still at the DX working on cars, he worked towards a managerial position and hopes to own a mechanic shop of his own someday or work up to a dealership. Had a radio installed at the station so he and pony can talk with Soda more often than waiting for phone calls, he gets along better with Pony.

Two-bit: 21. Ultimately got his GED! Like Pony he’s not sure what he is going to do with his life, is looking for a job (which Steve won’t let him live down)

[storiesforallfandoms]

Masterlist 3!

Here’s the third masterlist for all of my works! If you want to check out more of my work, here’s the links for masterlist one and masterlist two Imagines marked * are smutty imagines! Imagines marked ` are requests! Imagines marked ⭐ are personal favorites!

IMAGINES

STRANGER THINGS small ~ jim hopper` dance with me ~ eddie munson ⭐ starry night ~ steve harrington* (part five) ⭐ at the hip ~ steve harrington` ⭐ triple date ~ steve harrington (part six) ⭐ the freak ~ steve harrington (part seven) ⭐ oblivious ~ eddie munson ⭐ jason doesn’t know ~ eddie munson ⭐ this is music ~ eddie munson` ⭐

SUPERNATURAL strange human feelings ~ castiel` cleaning ~ dean winchester`

HANNIBAL into fiction` sob story ~ hannibal lecter

THE BOYS obsession ~ billy butcher* ⭐ herogasm ~ soldier boy* ⭐ alone on christmas ~ billy butcher can’t get too close ~ billy butcher ⭐ change in a heartbeat ~ billy butcher ⭐ the bad room ~ homelander ⭐

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY life father ~ diego hargreeves` rescue mission ~ klaus hargreeves’ ⭐

THE LAST OF US (HBO) friendly neighbors ~ joel miller ⭐ too sweet ~ joel miller

BARRY attraction ~ barry berkman` treat him better ~ barry berkman

AMERICAN HORROR STORY late night sins ~ xavier plympton (1984)*`

VICTORIOUS lost dog ~ tori vega` junker ~ beck oliver

HEMLOCK GROVE i don’t ever wanna see you with him ~ roman godfrey ⭐

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES roses are red ~ damon salvatore` ⭐

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH captive ~ blackbeard/ed teach ⭐

PEAKY BLINDERS moved on ~ thomas shelby

FUTURE MAN winner ~ josh futturman* ⭐

GAME OF THRONES littlest lion ~ oberyn martell (part one) ⭐ freedom ~ oberyn martell (part two) ⭐

THE WITCHER destiny ~ geralt of rivia

DOCTOR WHO looks of a princess ~ eleventh doctor ⭐

BRIDGERTON by the lake ~ benedict bridgerton

HEMLOCK GROVE important buisness ~ roman godfrey* ⭐

THE GENTLEMEN the assistant ~ raymond smith ⭐

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN spirit of nature ~ jack sparrow`

THE MAZE RUNNER i’ll keep you safe ~ newt`

MARVEL how things are now ~ marc spector and steven grant` ⭐ kneel ~ loki* the most wonderful time ~ bucky barnes fast ~ pietro maximoff ⭐ shared trauma ~ logan howlett making amends ~ bucky barnes

1917 early morning ~ will schofield*`

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT happy birthday ~ javi gutierrez ⭐

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S i need someone older ~ william afton ⭐ the ice cream girl ~ mike schmidt

SALTBURN new toy ~ felix catton ⭐ partners ~ oliver quick ⭐

THE SANTA CLAUSE santa’s sister-in-law ~ bernard the elf

8 MILE one of the guys ~ jimmy smith jr ⭐

THE FALL GUY the space cowboy and the pa ~ tom ryder

A QUIET PLACE i’d find you in any life ~ eric ⭐

GLADIATOR II betrothed ~ emperor geta ⭐

DON’T WORRY DARLING a perfect world ~ jack chambers ⭐

PETE DAVIDSON your gift` favoritism`

HARRY STYLES the perfect tree a star in the making` sleepy head`

MACHINE GUN KELLY baby mama` ⭐ my queen*` getting your attention*` all the mistakes` not what it looks like` can’t keep doing this*`

EMINEM may the best artist win*` too close for comfort` ⭐ when it’s wrong but it feels right` in the dressing room*` he’s acting different` we have to stop meeting like this` every inch*` let’s surprise the world` i’m sorry i let you down` public service announcement`

GOODGUYFITZ wake up call*`

CORPSE HUSBAND letting go` they forgot` ⭐

ASHTON IRWIN home life` cover me*`

CONAN GRAY pushing`

MATTHEW LILLARD accidental drunk confessions` an out there request (w/ skeet ulrich)*`

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE feeling good*`

ALEX TURNER more than a song*` ⭐

BO BURNHAM can’t handle this right now ⭐ look at me*`

KRISTEN STEWART special customer`

TARON EGERTON he already has my approval ⭐

ROBERT PATTINSON my favorite superhero

GERARD WAY good girl*`

GWILYM LEE history repeats itself`

RYAN GOSLING play date`

JOSEPH QUINN bad idea, right? ⭐ icdiwabh ⭐

RANBOO fluffy haired gamer boy`

JACOB ELORDI height advantage`

MOTLEY CRUE she is mine ~ mick mars`

CHRIS EVANS not used to normal` ⭐

SWAGGERSOULS our next step`

JSCHLATT too far ⭐ the hotel room* ⭐ a winter night at rockefeller

JOHNNY DEPP just for us`

TRAVIS BARKER the parent trap`

SKEET ULRICH an out there request (w/ matthew lillard)*`

DAMIEN HAAS our own after party

SHIPS

family reunion ~ hermione granger x draco malfoy` another man in a red suit ~ deadpool x spider-man ⭐

HEADCANONS

showing pedro pascal fan edits ⭐ sitting on jschlatt’s lap ⭐ surprising ted and tucker during chuckle sandwich (jschlatt) billy butcher’s secret pleasure ⭐

NSFW ALPHABET

rook (jp capellette)*` eddie munson* ⭐ billy butcher* ⭐

[mymarifae]

hsr's a great game it's like "hey here's this guy who's a cyborg cowboy of all things isn't that fun. look at how wild and flamboyant and entertaining he is! an automatic censor was installed into his universal translator when he got his rockin robot bod so he can't swear anymore and this is especially funny in the cn and jp text of the game because his swears are replaced with things like sweetie, baby, and cutie."

"also his entire homeland was wiped out by the intergalactic capitalistic monolith that's been cruelly siphoning valuable resources from countless planets with little to absolutely no regard for the residents. they spared nothing once their boss gave them the go ahead to use military force. not even his baby daughter, who had just barely learned how to walk."

"he never got the chance to erect a grave for her. or the other loved ones he lost."

[blaacknoir]

"Don't get a cat" okay then. I got three.

Just because *you* can't tell real life from fiction, OP, doesn't mean the rest of us can't.

Pardon me for feeling fucking empathy for a fake guy I guess 😭

Honestly the people who lump Homelander into the whole babygirl thingy remind of those people who fawn over large and dangerous wild animals without proper levels of precaution because look how cute or beautiful I guess. And then get killed by those animals for not having reasonable precaution.

To be clear on a side tracked note I will say I would never blame the animal reacting to the dumbfucks that pull that shit. Humans are 100% at fault in those scenarios. Fuck around and find out.

Sure nature can be pretty. But it's also fucked with no limits and morality on a never happening scale. They get off on the idea of pacifying and depowering Homelander but realistically that's only something that would make him more miserable than he already is. Possibly more feral and a different kind of dangerous.

When you back someone or something into a corner when they're already backed into a corner they don't suddenly stop being a threat.

They explode.

His situation is similar to one of a wild animal that's been caged its whole life. That creates a boiling point waiting to overflow and it is bizarre to me that people ignore that or think further prodding and poking would somehow help him??

Hm. Like are y'all okay? Are you sure you're okay cause you don't seem okay to me.

Also please never ever get a cat because I can already see what horrid douchebaggery this kind of behavior or enjoyment would mean for that poor animal. Just because you can torture something and get on its nerves for a reaction doesn't mean you should. Isn't that kind of a point with Homelander's character?

That's part of the theme too. Billy Butcher isn't making him or anything better. They're both driving each other towards the brink. Homelander is a ticking time bomb and Billy is accelerating the count down because he's so self absorbed in his revenge schemes he's unwilling to pause and think about consequence for others.

Including Ryan and completely ignoring Vought in favor of going after Homelander.

Just seems like some are guilty of some similar lines of thought in a few different ways. Which is ironic given complaints about Vought being the real villain.

And I do get it to some degree. Some people have kinks. Some people feel the need to do this as a form of self comfort specifically and especially when it comes to nerfing the characters' powers. But some people just don't want to see the character or the image or even messages that is or are actually being portrayed because they feel they've made a better image in their head I suppose.

Have fun but please be cautious with that mindset as it can be extremely harmful when applied to real people or in real life.

The whole sanitizing or even nerfing of how dangerous Homelander actually is or what he's done or even where he's headed just to justify him as a babygirl? I really really think that could be done without.

Also I do not want to think of Trump as babygirl and I hate all of you so fucking much for that. I sincerely hope that image consumes your minds too.

Now imagine that unholy pompous cheeznip in babydoll lingerie including garter belt and sexy stockings that do not fit him properly and tell me it's fucking beautiful.

[natsuki208]

Black Butler cast in Halloween costumes 🎃

———

Ciel - A king, to represent the chess piece

Sebastian - Vampire, it’s close to what he is

Lizzy - An angel, for her purity

Finny - Scarecrow, to protect his garden

Mey Rin - Kitty, to see if Sebastian likes it

Bard - Cowboy, to represent his homeland

Tanaka - Himself, but wearing a mask

Snake - Magician, reminds him of his old ‘family’

Grell - Wicked witch, but covered in red.

William - Grouchy black cat makeup, purrfect

~

(Now for a personal bonus:)

Alois - A knight, to make him seem tough.

Hannah - A nurse, and it’s not suggestive.

[phoenixtakaramono]

Butchlander F, T, X!

(This Ask is regarding this.) I got a little ahead of myself writing out tiny 🔞 hypothetical butchlander scenarios—and then belatedly realizing this was tumblr so I scaled back the intensity ^^;. Also, note, there are portions where I’m being sarcastic with the italicized letters.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Their default position is doggy style, because they’re both old men, it’s easier for Billy to hit his prøstate with Homelander’s back arched and his arse raised high, and the position is supposedly easier on the bottom’s hands and knees. Personally I HC this is probably one of Billy’s three favourite positions to see Homelander in because 1) he won’t have to see Homelander’s insufferable face so much in this position he can shove the handsome cunt’s face down into a pillow if he’s being too loud or annoying, 2) it’s probably the best “tactical” position that allows Billy to assert the most control and authority, 3) he can almost wrap both hands around that trim waist. Like, damn, have you seen how tiny Homelander’s waist is in that muscled supersuit? Man’s waist be so tiny like what do you need that tiny waist for? 🙄 For another man to grab it?? Whøre.

Put yourself in Billy’s shoes. Wouldn’t seeing this man’s smug face and attitude and acting like a general menace to everyone around him inspire feelings within you of wanting to “bully” him and “teach him a lesson, putting him in his proper place”??? Preferably on his hands and knees. ⬅️ This, by the way, is probably Billy’s second favorite position to see his enemy in, with Homelander knelt down and supplicated before Billy, and Billy putting his mouth to far better use than Homelander going about his day terrorizing the poor overworked interns, Ashley, or the general populace.

Billy’s third favourite position is the cowgirl (cowboy?) position, with Homelander riding on top of him. Billy seems to be very partial to women riding him in the show; I do not see why this wouldn’t hypothetically carry on over to Homelander when they copulate. Homelander bouncing on anyone would, realistically, probably shatter the person’s pelvis underneath if he’s not too careful and forgets to control his superstrength like what’d happened to Popclaw and her landlord’s pulverized skull—but luckily Billy’s V-ed up so his pelvis is safe.

Now, I headcanon Homelander’s favourite position, both highkey and lowkey, besides fucking in the air like how he did it with Stormfront, to be the missionary style, with whoever’s bottoming lying on their back, facing whoever’s topping, with their legs cinched around the top’s waist or pushed back. You could argue it’s a boring milquetoast wonderbread position for straights, but consider this: Billy Butcher has no choice but to look directly at Homelander’s face in this position. Sure, he can soften the blow by handcuffing Homelander’s wrists to the bed or tying him up they both know it’s purely symbolic because Homelander can break out anytime with his superstrength to give Billy an illusion of having a semblance of control over him, but Homelander loves it because 1) he’s probably been touch-starved during the formative years of his life we’re not counting the Vought scientists or Homelander’s own hand so any prolonged skinship and physical contact with his partner is novel to him and satisfies his curiosity/ craving for stimulation, 2) the position allows for direct pressure on his enlarged prøstate that’s both intense and stimulating it’s the best position because it allows the top’s d!ck to massage the prøstate or P-spot at the best angle, 3) he can feel when Billy shoots inside him, and 4) most importantly, the missionary position can lead to intimate lovemaking. The position allows their faces to be so close, allowing every thought and feeling to be transmitted on each man’s face.

In a way, it’s Homelander’s test for Billy. Billy cannot run away from him, from this, from whatever this is that’s happening between them, and from facing his f*cked up feelings for Homelander; that’s what Homelander wants. It’d be wonderful if, after reaching ørgasm, Billy’s d!ck stays inside him and the two men hold each other to gather their breaths. To withdraw straight away would be, in a sense, to reject the shared feelings; to reject Homelander himself. Homelander’s also a pretty needy, possessive narcissist; if Billy’s V-ed up, I can see Homelander having the compulsion to touch Billy constantly like a territorial beast scentmarking his favorite prey since he won’t break as easily, so it only sounds right that Homelander’s favourite position is missionary. If he must bottom for Billy, then it’s only natural that he’s a high-maintenance pillow princess who expects Billy to do all the work, as well as expecting a towel or soft pillow to be placed under him, etcétera. It’s also his favourite position if the roles were reversed, but that’s a topic for a different day (you requested for butchlander, Anon, so I will give you butchlander-themed answers and not homebutcher-themed answers 👌).

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Eh. Personally I say not really because I think these two men prefer being hands-on with their partners and think toys are unnecessary during lovemaking there’s an unfortunate traditional macho connotation where the male partner would feel offended if their wife prefers or has to rely on a toy to achieve climax. They’re not that adventurous of a couple per se no, (outdoor) flying sex doesn’t count. But considering one of them is a superhero (HL) and has his own adult merchandise line with his Americana brand plastered all over it, it’d be a missed opportunity if they don’t so let’s say I can see it happening as a rare treat or as “punishment.”

Billy would have to be the first to bring it up—and Homelander would have to match his freak. Billy would derive a great deal of pleasure and entertainment subjecting Homelander to toys, because he thinks it’s funny to see Homelander stunned and embarrassed as hell when Billy surprises him with a stars-and-stripes massive d!ldo called the Star-Spangled Banger that’s supposedly a life-sized replica taken from a cast of Homelander’s own dong (Billy would never pass up the opportunity to make fun of him at his own expense, leering at him and taunting that Homelander’s obviously overcompensating because the real deal’s not that big) or red-white-and-blue butt plugs, chastity cages, what have you—and he tells him he wants to see Homelander using them. Because, as a patriot, Homelander oughta try out his own products. It would be such a shame if Mister America himself did not give them a test run. It’d only be honest and responsible of him since Vought is using his name and likeliness to produce these. (B: “Tsk, tsk. You wouldn’t want to cheat your fans with false advertisement and poor quality control, would you?”)

Any obscure Homelander-branded adult toy, minted or discontinued, indie-made or counterfeit, and even Vought’s unreleased experimental first prototypes, Billy’s made it a mission to hunt one of each down. Some people collect baseball cards; Billy collects Homelander-branded adult toys and merchandise. Although, ironically, because of this, Billy’s not beating the allegations anytime soon that he’s not one of Homelander’s biggest closeted (anti)fans.

Neither of them are bonafide 100% exhibitionists or voyageurs, but getting away with doing something naughty is a turn-on for the both of them—and Billy would go out of his way to inconvenience Homelander such as convincing him to wear remote-controlled bullet vibes to The Seven meeting or party, promising to reward him if he doesn’t get caught. Makes a whole game outta it. Wagers that Homelander can’t last; this infuriates Homelander and gets him egged to try to prove Billy wrong because he’s The Homelander, damn it, and he has “the restraint and self-control of a saint, so I’m going to make you eat your words, William!” Homelander would naturally anticipate that he’s going to win because how hard could it be? But for all that tough talk, Homelander’s set up to fail because with the gradual intensifying of the vibrations throughout the hour, Billy suddenly cranks the power up to maximum while Homelander’s mid-conversation—annnnd you already know what happens.

As for who’s using the toys, it’s fairly evident, because of Billy’s machinations, Homelander’s the one in the relationship using them. At first Homelander scoffs at the thought of it because unlike pathetic humans, he’s a god who doesn’t need to rely on the aid of a toy to achieve release but he’s eventually persuaded into trying them out because 1) his default competitive “Fuck you, I’m confident in my own masculinity, William; and I’ll prove it to you” after Billy taunted him and called him chicken, 2) he lacks agency with his lovers in general and usually just goes with their flow i.e. with what happened between him and Stormfront, him and Madelyn, him being on board with there now being a hot “evil” British guy who’s obsessed with him and claims he just wants to hurt him, etc (he’s happy with whatever makes them happy, if he’s the one providing it (he likes the concept of being perceived as a good supportive partner—and be praised for his efforts)) and 3) turnabout’s fair play so this is all Homelander’s evil manipulative masterplan to gradually ease Billy into the idea of using a toy himself for Homelander to watch—because he thinks it’d be sexy and he also wants Butcher to feel good.

But jokes on Homelander though because through gradual conditioning and repeated climaxes, if Homelander’s feeling particularly horny/lonely and Billy’s not there, and his hand’s not doing it for him, Homelander will fetch a box he’d hidden in the nightstand which contains his adult toys and his prized custom-made toy that’d been modeled after Billy’s own d!ck. In the bathroom or elsewhere, as someone who’s used to modeling and finding the best angles for the perfect shot that looks flattering on him, he could take a nude selfie of himself or film a short clip of him using it. And he’d then text it to Billy with a provocative message like “It’s not the same without you here :(” to get his British lover hopefully hot and bothered and quick to respond back. Don’t worry; his scandalous nudes sent via text are encrypted and hidden behind a conspicuous calculator app. In Homelander’s perspective, it’s a special treat that he’s bestowing him, teasing Billy like this, and it gives him a rush of power feeling desired and knowing the physiological effect he has on his former archenemy. He’d never admit it aloud but on his loneliest nights, Homelander may have used his favorite toy(s) to simulate the feeling of being penetrated by his lover and to work out the day’s stress that’d piled up. Butt plugs, I will have to say, is probably a recurring theme of their active sex life—because it can help prep and stretch the cavity and get Homelander primed for what’s ahead. Not to mention, if used right, it can serve as foreplay. This ties into a different Anon Ask I’d received about what a kink of theirs would be, so I’ll just ask that you check out that one for more detail about my HC for that it involves Billy’s canonically giving creampies, a breeding kink, and a butt plug. :)

Personally I HC that Billy is open to his partner using toys—it’s his CIA honeytrap training—but this is Homelander we’re talking about. So Billy would only be willing to give a toy a try after being subjected to much whining and wheedling from Homelander about how it’s unfair that it’s only been him and “I’d say ‘pretty please,’ William, but it’s my birthday/ our anniversary soon so this is the bare minimum I’m asking from you this time; you love me don’t you?”—until Billy reluctantly caves in to shut him up and uses a fleshlight or something under Homelander’s watchful eye. Ironically it’d lead to Homelander feeling irrationally jealous because of course he’d be jealous over an inanimate object pleasuring his lover. FYI, if Billy intentionally starts using it more often (he uses it more to drive Homelander up the wall and not because Billy likes using it per se), that toy will never be seen again in their bedroom. That one entire merch line will be recalled and forever banned because of one irrationally jealous petty Supe who uses his power and influence to make sure the unexpected threat to his love life is eradicated from this earth.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

…I presume because of the theme of the tag game that this has to be a spicy answer for the both of them, and not the boring answer. 🤣 I mean, show-wise, we already have our answer:

Underneath his Hawaiian shirts that he bares open at the chest, his trench coat, jeans, and untied boots, William J. Butcher wears his St. Christopher medallion—and whatever he wears for underpants (briefs? boxers?) if he’s not going commando. Mister Tall, Dark, and Handsome is an intimidating, dreamy hunk of a man with a full beard, dark chest hair faintly smattered over his pecs, with that hair probably going down a faint happy trail that stops at a full bush up above his groin. And you know what they say about European men; I’m a massive believer that Billy has big dick energy and that he knows what to do with it. If given a choice between Butcher and Homelander, both Becca and Maeve would both choose Butcher without hesitation. William J. Butcher is a service top. He’s a bear with bad boy aura, and both women and gay men would stop in the streets to stare. That long sinister scar that skitters up Butcher’s brow to the side of his forehead only adds to his charm and mystique.

For Homelander, headcanon-wise, underneath the spandex supersuit and leather gloves is a naked Homelander with his blood orange you cannot convince me that’s red; that’s blood orange eagle-patterned briefs. If it’s a special occasion, he will wear a jockstrap or something more scantily clad like a g-string but I HC that, just like Billy, he usually roams around his penthouse in his full birthday suit (aka naked). They’re both middle-aged bachelors with their own bachelor-pads so they can wear whatever they like in their own home if no one else is around.

Now, his chest hair and a full bush…I am of the opinion that he waxes/shaves. Look at that full body GIF. Either he gets a full Brazilian wax or he shaves himself all over for that sleek, supple baby skin—to make himself more like marble. This way he doesn’t have to look at his graying pubic hair *snerks* if he’s bare all over. It’s only in S4 that he lets himself go to symbolize the man’s spiraling but otherwise I believe he used to have a full body and hair care routine, grooming himself meticulously. And unlike Billy who has a faint dusting of freckles on his shoulders, scarred tissue, and callouses, Homelander’s body is perfectly smooth and unscarred and his hands are deceptively soft to the touch (I’m of the opinion he cannot develop callouses considering his skin’s “invulnerability”).

Regarding Homelander’s d!ck size, I think it’s funny to imagine him as average or on the smaller side (and I will always enjoy the fics and fanart that make fun of him for that) for the joke of him over-compensating (it’s hilarious considering how big they made his show canonical strap-on and how big the costume’s codpiece is), but just to be contrarian and buck against the butchlander trend, I personally HC that he has a massive tool as well. It’s beautifully curved, extra thick and long, between 6"-9" when erect. 🤷‍♀️ Because, hey, there’s gotta be a reason why Madelyn or Stormfront and, to an extent, Maeve put up with his psychotic ass. He’s supposed to represent the pinnacle of humanity, so I don’t see why Vought scientists could not have somehow genetically engineered his schlong, when he’d been a test tube baby, to grow into a length which is “the most popular” size according to Vought’s sample pool of women. Now, you combine that with Billy’s emotional baggage—and now you have a very compelling case of this perfectly engineered d!ck being ignored and deliberately not put to its intended reproductive use. It’s for the good of humanity. There’s also something very compelling about the thought of Homelander with his hard erection swaying and leaking at the tip (each time he tries to touch himself, Billy slaps his hand away because he wants to see him to “come like a woman”) until he finally spurts, coming hands-free whilst being pummeled and milked by Butcher’s massive d!ck. At the very least, it’s a size or length or girth that is socially acceptable and that women would be impressed by but not too big that they’d look at it and flee the other way.