#home now & back with a wifi connection lol so catching up!!
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100 days of productivity // day 9
walked about 15km, explored a stunning contemporary art museum and a vintage fair
tried a local treat for the first time and it was totally delicious!
met a friend of my brother’s for a drink which was out of my comfort zone but i did it anyway lol
being away from work for only a couple days has made me realise how little things matter? sometimes when I’m really busy at work I forget that life continues outside of it.
#home now & back with a wifi connection lol so catching up!!#hope you all had an amazing week <3#100 days of productivity#journal
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Lying That You Love Me | myg (m)
Summary - Upon first glance, no one would assume Min Yoongi would be the type to put someone back together. If his icy cold stare and stoic expressions weren’t enough to spook most people away, then the body covered in piercings and tattoos usually sent them running. You never could have imagined Min Yoongi would be the one to put your pieces back together, but there is always more than meets the eye.
Word Count - 10.5k
Pairing - Yoongi x reader
Genre - smut, minor angst
Warnings - mentions of broken family, family issues, mentions of homelessness, softdom!yoongi, dirty talk, cream pie, unprotected sex, oral (female)
a/n - Part of the Tatted Bangtan Series! 💕 Sorry it’s soooo late, I sprained my wrist lol. Hope you enjoy now that it’s finally here! Huge thanks to @nervouskiwi , @sunshinekims , and @excusemin for beta reading. 💕
You know those people you just instantly connect with? You hear their laugh one time and suddenly you feel more connected to a stranger than a friend you've known your whole life? Something in their smile that resonates deep within your soul, that somehow, on some level (whether it be friends or lovers or a kind stranger who changed your life in passing only to never meet again) you are just... meant to find each other.
Those people who feel like sunshine on your cloudy days? The ones who wrap you in warmth and make your heart say "Ah, yes, so this is what home is supposed to feel like. This is what it means to belong. This is what it means to be myself, unafraid."
Somehow, amidst all the chaos and the heartbreak and the hurt, you find yourself cocooned in safety, building your own version of home with these strangers who feel like family; and it's good. And sometimes your heart beats so fast and your chest feels so tight and you feel like you just can't breathe, so you reach out a hand into the dark unknown and you're met with arms wrapping around you and holding you together. Holding you until all your broken pieces can be glued back together, one by one.
Min Yoongi was one of those people.
Now, upon first glance, no one would assume Min Yoongi would be the type to put someone back together. He looked more like someone who was one wrong look away from tearing you to shreds. If his icy cold stare and stoic expressions weren’t enough to spook most people away, then the body covered in piercings and tattoos usually sent them running.
But you… you were a little different. You’d taken one look at the man covered in intricate inky designs and your face had lit up with glee. A few hours prior to meeting Yoongi, you’d been sitting in your car, reclined back with your phone, leeching off of McDonald’s free wifi for the 11th night in a row. Your back ached, your stomach growled, and your foot was one more cramp away from being the end of you. The tiny cabin of your car was no place for you to live.
You scrolled through rental listings, looking for the cheapest option that didn’t look like it popped straight out of a horror movie. Your budget was low, being recently thrown out by your father after a fight about you dropping out of college. Your father was convinced you couldn’t survive on your own and you wanted to prove him wrong.
Finally stumbling upon a small 2 bedroom apartment on the west side of town leasing out the second bedroom, you clicked on the listing. There was no way you’d be able to afford your own apartment in a safe area, so you’d ended up expanding your search to find someone looking for a roommate. You zoomed in on the pictures provided, though there were few, it looked pretty nice. You scrolled down and read the description.
Single male, 27, searching for a roommate. You pay half the rent and utilities. Rent is $950 and utilities usually range about $300 a month, give or take. Pets welcome, but there is a deposit with the apartment complex and a monthly fee. My friend (and ex roommate) recently moved in with his long-time girlfriend and I need someone to help with expenses. Serious inquiries only. Contact for more info. 555-555-1382.
You quickly typed the number into your phone and texted the man to set up a time to view the apartment, but if you were being honest with yourself, you were already sold. This was the cleanest looking unit you’d seen, on a safe side of town, and it was more affordable than anything else you were going to get that was half as nice.
The man was quick with responses and very polite, and the two of you agreed to meet that evening at 4pm. You were absolutely giddy, a petty smirk on your face as you imagined telling your father that you indeed weren’t coming home, tail between your legs. You would not allow him to dictate your life anymore.
3:30 rolled around and you made your way over to the area the apartment was listed in, not wanting to be late. The apartment was part of a large building that was clearly a few years old but still in good shape. You looked around, noting that the nearby houses were well-worn but not worn down. It looked like a good area, and based on your Trulia searches, the crime was low here.
You smiled from your parking space and waited until 3:55 to walk up to the buzzer, hitting the button for apartment 5D which had Min Yoongi listed as a resident. Yoongi. You liked that name. You grinned when a deep voice came over the speaker, asking who was there.
“It’s Y/N, we have a 4pm appointment for me to see the apartment?” you answered back cheerily.
“Oh, yes, come on up.�� before he was even done speaking, you heard the door click as he unlocked it.
You pulled open the heavy door and began making your way up the staircase, glancing around for the correct apartment. Near the end of the hallway, you finally spotted your destination, nestled in the corner by a large window that looked out to the rest of the apartment complex. There was a playground and a tennis court, without a net, but you didn’t really care.
You gently knocked against the wooden door, the only one without some form of decoration on the outside and waited for the man to appear and let you inside. You weren’t sure what kind of person you expected to see on the other side of the wooden door; you really hadn’t given it much thought. You were entirely unprepared however, to see the sexiest man you’d ever laid eyes on swinging the door open and dusting his hands on his worn jeans before flicking his onyx gaze up to meet yours, pinning you to your spot.
You snapped out of your haze and allowed your eyes to roam over his features, from his button nose to his full lips, to his toned arms, covered with decorative tattoos, beautiful inky designs trailing from his knuckles all the way up his veiny forearms, past his biceps, and disappearing into the sleeve of his t shirt. You sucked in a breath, noticing the eyebrow ring and multiple ear piercings.
“Y/N, nice to meet you. I’m Yoongi.” he smiled, revealing his pearly white teeth, something shiny catching the light when his tongue darted out to wet his lips. A tongue ring.
A shiver ran through your body but you reached out your hand to shake his extended one. His large hand seemed to engulf yours, the veins prominent and a little distracting. Your face lit up in a grin, knowing that if your dad took one look at this man, he’d surely lose his mind.
“It’s nice to meet you as well, Yoongi, thank you for meeting me on such short notice!” you smiled, allowing your hand to slip from his grasp and biting back the whine at the loss of contact.
“Come on in, have a look around. Like I said in the ad, my friend moved in with his girlfriend and left me to fend for myself. He did have the smaller bedroom but if that’s an issue, we can switch, if you’re interested that is.” he chuckled nervously, reaching his arm up to scratch the back of his neck.
“Oh, I am interested.” you giggled, looking around the spacey living room, which had an open concept that led into a small kitchen, but it looked like it had decent counter space.
“Oh! This is the kitchen…” Yoongi began, leading you over to get a better look after seeing where your eyes were wandering.
“It’s very roomy.” you noted with a smile.
“Jin did most of the cooking, but I helped out sometimes and we both fit in here pretty easily without getting in each other’s way.” he explained.
“Ooh, you cook?” you turned your gaze to him and watched as the tips of his ears turned pink.
“A little.” he admitted.
“Nice. Me too.” you grinned.
“Cool.” he grinned, his smile was the cutest thing you’d ever seen, the best way you could describe it was… gummy. Sweet. Warm.
Yoongi led you on a tour of the rest of the house, showing you your future bedroom, which was furnished since his previous roommate hadn’t needed to take his bed with him, his bedroom, the bathroom you’d share, and the small laundry unit in the hallway, hidden behind a closet-like door. Nice. In-unit laundry was a definite plus.
The apartment wasn’t super spacious, the bedrooms were on the smaller side, but the living room and kitchen were nice sizes, and there was in-unit laundry, and Yoongi seemed like a very clean, respectful individual. You were sold before you’d walked in, but now you were over the moon about the small patch of paradise you’d stumbled upon.
“Is there a deposit required? Or just first and last month's rent?” you asked Yoongi, who’d taken a seat across from you at the table.
“Oh, just the first month’s rent is fine. I’m not like a landlord or anything.” he said, shooting you a playful smile.
“Okay. Do you want a check or…?” you questioned. “I mean, if you’re willing to let me lease with you.”
“Of course! Check, cash, money order. I really don’t have a preference. If you want a paper trail with the office, we can do a check or money order.” he smiled.
You grinned back at the sheepish man across from you, his eyes shining with excitement. You were absolutely psyched to sleep in a real bed again, so tired of the worn leather seats in your car. Thank goodness it wasn’t summer so your skin wasn’t sticking to the material, but still. It wasn’t exactly a preferred sleeping space.
You ended up going to the ATM and giving Yoongi cash for the first month after adding your name to the lease just before the rental office closed. You both pitched in on a celebratory pizza and ate in the living room. You were surprised the rental office didn’t have to run a background check or something, you honestly didn’t think you’d be able to sleep in the apartment the same day you’d first laid eyes on it, but you weren’t complaining.
You stayed up with Yoongi until nearly 2am talking, drinking, laughing, and getting to know each other. He loved watching WWE, you loved watching K-dramas, he liked pineapple on his pizza and you thought that was basically blasphemy. Yoongi had braces growing up, had an older brother, preferred staying indoors to going out, and had a nasty habit he couldn’t seem to shake of biting his nails.
Yoongi was funny and warm and inviting. Though he seemed cold on the outside, he was actually very attentive and caring, always offering to refill your drink when he stood up, offering you a spare blanket if you looked cold, and making sure you felt comfortable as possible in your new home. You blamed it on the alcohol, but ended up getting way too personal too fast, telling Yoongi about why you’d moved in to begin with.
“... and he’s so condescending and judgemental, like he would hate your tattoos and immediately label you a delinquent just based on that alone.” you took a breath after rambling on for a few minutes, letting out your frustration for your situation.
“Wow, that’s… a lot,” Yoongi shook his head sympathetically, “it’s your life, you should do what makes you happy. It’s not his place to control everything you do.”
“He always has to be right, it’s exhausting.” you sighed.
“Well hey, bright side, you’re here now, and you’re free to be who you want and do whatever your heart desires. I fully support you.” Yoongi smiled at you and your heart seemed to grow three sizes.
“Thank you, Yoongi. You have no idea how much that means to me.”
“Do you have anything you need washed?” you asked Yoongi, gesturing to the washing machine that wasn’t even half full.
“Don’t you have any more clothes than that?” Yoongi asked.
For weeks, you’d been cycling the same three outfits you’d been able to bring with you in a small backpack when you’d left home.You’d thought about going back home to get the rest of your things, but you really didn’t want to face your father. You weren’t scared of him, not at all. In fact, you’d love to rub it in his face that you hadn’t failed as he’d expected you to do. You just didn’t want to deal with him yet.
Being around Yoongi, having the freedom to be yourself and being so wholly accepted for exactly who you were was intoxicating, and you weren’t ready to go back into that suffocating environment full of judgement and expectations, even for a short time. You were strong and resilient, but you also knew that your family issues were a sore spot for you.
“I do at my parents house. I just haven’t had a chance to go get my stuff.” you shrugged, starting the washer.
“You haven’t had a chance? Between lounging around watching Netflix and binge eating takeout?” Yoongi chuckled, leaning up against the wall and regarding you with a curious look.
“I’ve had time,” you emphasize with a sigh, “I just… I’m not ready to go there alone.”
“What if you weren’t alone?”
You looked up to meet Yoongi’s gaze in surprise, a supportive smile playing on his soft lips.
“What do you mean?” you asked, your chest filling with hope.
“If you want, I can go with you?” he offered.
“Really? You’d do that?” you tried to keep the astonishment out of your voice in an attempt to not look as pathetic and weak as you felt.
“Yeah, we can take my car, it’s bigger than yours anyway.” he shrugged, pushing himself off the wall and walking closer to you.
“Have I told you lately that you’re amazing?” you grinned, reaching up to hug him.
Yoongi was used to your affectionate nature, but sometimes it still caught him off guard, as he wasn’t an affectionate person. He wanted to be, he just wasn’t always comfortable using physical affection. He froze for a moment, but quickly regained his composure and wrapped his arms around your torso to return your hug.
“Yes, but feel free to remind me anytime. My fragile ego needs it.” he joked, poking your side playfully.
You released him from your hold with a light chuckle, stepping back and grinning up at him. He coughed and looked down to hide his shy smile from your view.
“Let’s go.”
“Wait, right now?” you gasped, eyes wide.
“Do you have other plans?” he questioned with a raised brow.
“Well, no… but I-” you began but Yoongi sent you a look that had you slipping on your shoes and following him out the door.
Yoongi smirked to himself at how easily you caved into him with just a stern look, unlocking the car and ushering you in before settling in the driver's seat and starting the engine. You couldn’t stop bouncing your leg from nerves, and Yoongi glanced your way every so often before gently placing his large hand on your knee for comfort. Except it did little to comfort you, having his veiny hands on your body only sent your heart into overdrive and caused your breathing to become that much shallower. You gave him an A for effort though.
“It’s going to be okay, I’m right here,” he soothed, “I’ve got your back.”
“Thank you, Yoongi.” you smiled appreciatively, placing your hand on top of his for a moment before looking out the window, watching the trees fly by as you got closer to your parents house.
You hadn’t alerted your parents that you’d be coming, part of you hoping they wouldn’t be home and you could use the spare key to get your things and get out without having to interact with your father.
When the GPS announced you were one turn away, your hopes were crushed into a fine powder as you finally looked up and shrank back into your seat when you saw both of your parents’ vehicles occupying the driveway. Yoongi pulled in behind your mom’s car and cut the engine, turning to look at you. You met his gaze with your panicked one and he motioned for you to breathe with him, taking a few deep breaths and guiding you to calm yourself.
“You got this. You ready?” he asked.
“As I’ll ever be.” you sighed, stepping out of his car and meeting him before walking to the front door.
You gripped his hand tightly, and Yoongi looked down at your conjoined hands in surprise but didn’t say anything, realizing that you needed the support.He squeezed your hand gently before rapping softly on the door. Your whole body tensed when you heard the lock click and Yoongi gave your hand another encouraging squeeze. The door swung open and your mother’s face was revealed, causing the hole in your chest to clench.
“Y/N!” she gasped, her eyes trailing along your form, down to your hands, then up Yoongi’s arms to his face, her expression one of astonishment.
“Hi, mom.” you coughed awkwardly.
“Y/N’s here?” you heard from behind her, the smug voice of your father grating against your ears. “Our little baby came home to admit we were right?”
His grinning face came into your view, standing just behind your mother, his smirk immediately falling once he laid eyes on Yoongi.
“Who’s this?” he asked.
“This is Yoongi, he’s my-” you began.
“Are you dating this man?” your father interrupted, sounding panicked.
Your eyes flitted from your mom’s face to your dad’s, turning red with frustration. He had always hated people with tattoos, and you’d warned Yoongi about this. You didn’t think he’d get this worked up about it, and suddenly an idea popped in your head, and just as Yoongi was about to argue that you weren’t dating amidst your silence, you spoke up.
“Yes. He’s my boyfriend.” you said quickly, squeezing Yoongi’s hand in an attempt to beg him to go along with it.
Yoongi’s breath caught and he coughed into his elbow uncomfortably, but gave a sheepish grin when he recovered, letting go of your hand and extending his out to your parents.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N. I’m Min Yoongi.”
Your mother stared at his hand hanging in the air like it was a foreign object before she collected herself, gingerly taking his hand in hers. Your father followed suit, his expression hard.
“It’s nice to meet you, Yoongi.” your mom smiled, warming up to Yoongi’s polite aura.
“I’m very honored to finally meet you. I see where Y/N gets her pretty eyes from.” Yoongi smiled, causing your mom to turn bashful and swat at him playfully.
Your dad hadn’t budged an inch, his hard gaze focused on the man at your side, scrutinizing and unwelcoming. His eyes wandered over Yoongi’s plethora of tattoos, many piercings, and ripped jeans. He made a face of distaste before turning his gaze to you.
“What are you doing here?” he wondered.
“We’re getting some of my stuff to take back home.” you explained.
“Home? You live with this man?!” you dad guffawed.
“Yes, we live together.” Yoongi supplied for you, stepping closer to you and wrapping an arm around you, kissing the top of your head affectionately.
He mostly wanted to be a shield for you against your father, as he could tell you were starting to shrink in on yourself, and he wanted to offer you a little more strength. You smiled up at him, hoping your eyes showed your thankfulness.
“Absolutely not, young lady. I won’t permit it.” your father hissed.
“With all due respect, you don’t tell me what I can and can’t do. I’m an adult, and you kicked me out.” you shrugged, using your best acting skills to appear nonchalant.Yoongi felt your body shivering slightly against his.
“I- You-” your dad fumed.
“Why don’t we grab your clothes and come back for the rest when everyone has calmed down a little?” Yoongi offered quietly in your ear.
You nodded, pulling him along with you to your old bedroom. You felt your dad’s piercing gaze follow you down the hallway, but you ignored it. You grabbed some clothes and a few other things, throwing them in a decorative tote you’d once used to house scrapbooking supplies. Yoongi took the tote from you and led the way back out of the house, your hand clutching the back of his shirt like a safety blanket, the other arm filled with more clothes.
Your mom watched you quietly, with a sullen expression, seeming to try and express her apologies through her eyes while your dad seethed from his recliner, refusing to look at you. You sighed, taking a look around the house you used to call home before announcing your departure and waving goodbye, following Yoongi out the front door.
Once you’d placed the things in the back of the car and sat in the passenger seat, your body deflated. Yoongi began driving, to get you out of the line of sight of your parents in case you broke down, so they wouldn’t see.
“Yoongi, I’m so sorry I dragged you into that. I don’t know what I was thinking, I just- I saw his face and I wanted to-” you sighed, struggling to explain the reason behind your split second decision to lie about the nature of your relationship.
“I understand.”
“You’re not mad?” you looked over at him in surprise.
“No. I can see the power dynamic in that house. Your family clearly has some issues they need to work out. I’m not mad.” he explained.
“I don’t deserve you,” you sighed, leaning your head on his shoulder, “you’re the greatest friend I’ve ever had.”
“Dang, that bar is set pretty low, Y/N.” he joked.
You slapped his arm playfully with a grin lighting up your face, suddenly feeling much lighter than you had moments ago.
“How about I pay for pizza tonight as a thank you?” you offered, gazing up at him.
“As long as there’s pineapple on it.” he smirked.
“Half and half.”
Seasons changed, the air turned colder, the leaves on the trees transitioning from vibrant green to deep golden yellows and reds before fading away altogether as the harsh winter breeze bagan to set in. Each new day, you learned more about Yoongi, and the two of you grew closer. Yoongi was respectful of your space and time. He would notice when you were having a bad day and do little things you almost didn’t notice to help you out and reduce your stress. He’d pick up your favorite tea on his way home from work or invite you to watch a movie you knew he wouldn’t have watched on his own.
You tried to show him the same level of respect, like making sure there was fresh coffee for him in the morning, or packing his lunch when he was running late. The more time you spent with Yoongi, the more you adored him. Possibly a little too much… You’d known from the moment you laid eyes on him that he was gorgeous, but you didn’t think it would be so distracting.
Oftentimes, you’d find yourself staring at the way Yoongi’s lips moved while he talked, or watching the way his muscles flexed while he wrote. Your breath would hitch when your bodies brushed against each other in the hallway or maneuvering around the kitchen together. You’d try to slip past him and his hands would reflexively find your hips to steady you and guide you past him. Sparks would shoot through your veins any time his skin touched yours, a warm tingle left wherever his touch had been.
Your eyes would linger a second too long when he’d come out of the bathroom in a towel, or when he’d stretch during your frequent binge watching sessions, the hem of his shirt lifting to reveal a sliver of gorgeous ivory skin. Your mouth would water on the occasions when his hip tattoo would be revealed if his sweats hung a little too low. Sometimes you swore he was doing it on purpose, when you’d look up to find him watching you with an amused expression and you’d tear your eyes away as your cheeks filled with heat.
Yoongi never called you out for gawking at him, he’d simply raise an eyebrow and his delicious lips would turn up in an amused smirk. You weren’t the only one who got caught staring though. You noticed his eyes on you when you would bend over to grab a water from the fridge, or his gaze trailing down your neck towards your breasts when you’d come home sweaty from a run. You pretended not to notice, but you saw the way his eyes would linger.
You danced around each other like that, somehow simultaneously completely at ease and growing closer with each passing day but incredibly bothered with tension and desire. Or perhaps it was all in your head, wishful thinking on your part. You couldn’t count on all your fingers and toes the amount of times Yoongi’s name would fall from your lips in pathetic whimpers while you attempted to keep quiet whilst touching yourself under the covers in your room.
You tried to act like nothing had changed, which is why when Yoongi invited you to watch a movie with him, you’d snuggled up to him on the couch, just like always, a thick blanket wrapping the two of you in warmth. Your head rested on his shoulder and his hand on your knee, the heat from his skin on yours causing other areas of your anatomy to warm up as well. It was hard paying attention to the screen when you could feel the warmth of his skin seeping through your jeans where his hand met your knee but you did your best.
You watched as the main characters began taking their clothes off and tensed up awkwardly, looking up at Yoongi to ask if he wanted anything to drink… at the same time he’d glanced down to ask if you wanted more popcorn. Your faces were mere centimeters away, you could feel his hot breath ghosting against your lips, your gazes locked. Your heart skipped a beat and time seemed to slow, and you could have sworn he’d begun leaning in, but a loud crash in the movie startled you both out of your moment, and you’d pulled away with an awkward cough.
Yoongi scratched the back of his neck and avoided eye contact, and you’d stood up, using his leg as leverage, but your hand slipped and glided up his thigh, almost making contact with his crotch. You wretched your hand away like you’d been burned and mumbled something about a refill before making a beeline for the kitchen. Hand over your heart, free hand resting on the counter to hold yourself up while you struggled to regulate your heartbeat, you closed your eyes and took deep breaths.
Was Yoongi about to kiss you? Surely not, but the way your eyes had connected, the sparks his intense gaze had sent down your spine… you shivered. You refilled your water and grabbed a new drink for Yoongi before making your way back to the living room, sitting a few inches from him and extending out your offering to him, which he took with a quiet “thanks.”
The air was thick and uncomfortable, the lingering tension from the almost-kiss nearly suffocating the both of you. You nearly jumped out of your skin when your phone started ringing, a FaceTime call from your mom. You sat up and sent a panicked look towards Yoongi, who glanced at the screen before scooting closer to you, and pressing the answer button.
“Hi mom!”
“Hello, love. Oh. I see Yoongi is with you. Hello, Yoongi.” she smiled politely.
“Hello, ma’am.”
“Y/N, I packed up some more of your stuff, I felt awful for how the other day went and I wanted to apologize. I talked to your father as well, and… you know how he is. I want to support you and if Yoongi makes you happy, I want to get to know him. I miss you.” she rambled, clearly nervous.
“Oh mom… thank you. I really appreciate that.”
“I do have to admit though, I was very surprised that you two were together, it just seemed so… unexpected. You usually go for a more clean cut kind of guy…”
“Well, you know what they say, opposites attract.” Yoongi supplied with a charming smile after sensing your body stiffen.
“That they do!” your mom agreed with a giggle, “it just didn’t seem real at first, I suppose.”
You shot Yoongi a panicked glance out of the frame of the camera, silently begging him to turn up the PDA. His lip was tucked between his teeth in nervousness, but he let it slide free and steeled himself before leaning in and brushing a gentle kiss to your cheek. Which would’ve been a great plan, had that not been the exact moment you’d decided to turn your head to look at him.
His lips met yours for the briefest moment, the most tender ghost of a touch, but it lit your insides aflame. Your heart pounded erratically, your chest tightening, and the air seeming to have been stolen from your lungs. Your arm holding your phone grew slack, and you dropped it onto the couch cushion, your hand instinctively placing itself upon Yoongi’s firm chest. The kiss lasted mere seconds, but with the way time stilled around you, it might as well have been hours. His soft lips pressed so delicately to yours suspended gravity itself, and you were floating on cloud nine.
“Y/N? Hello?”
The two of you broke apart in shock, springing away from each other like magnets with the same charge, eyes wide and breathing heavy as you stared at one another. Moments passed with your heartbeat pounding in your ear like a drum before you came to your senses and picked your phone up.
“Sorry mom. Can I call you back?”
“Oh sure, love you.”
“Love you too, mom.”
Yoongi had taken your momentary distraction as an excuse to escape to his bedroom, leaving you alone in the living room with wide eyes and fingertips pressed to your lips in shock. Your lips had barely touched and it felt like your worlds had collided, two missing pieces finally coming together. And it was terrifying, so you decided not to dwell on it, you’d deal with it when the time came.
That didn’t stop you from replaying the moment in your head for the rest of the night, however. Laying in your bed with Yoongi just one wall away, you wondered if he was thinking about the kiss, if he was thinking about you too. Shoving the hopeful thoughts from your mind, you let yourself drift to sleep.
You weren’t sure why you’d agreed to spend the holiday with your family, but your mother’s persistent guilt trip over the past few weeks had worn your resistance thin. Yoongi’s family was back in Korea so he didn’t have any other plans, usually opting to spend Christmas alone with a bottle of bourbon and leftover takeout. He’d agreed to be your buffer between yourself and your father and accompany you to the hellscape that was your old home.
Snow had already begun to softly drift from the skies, so Yoongi had reminded you about ten times to dress warm so you didn’t catch a cold. Upon the 8th reminder, you’d snarkily shot back “yes daddy.” and rolled your eyes, stomping off to pull on your gloves. Yoongi had frozen in place, jaw slack as his eyes bored into the back of your head. You paid him no mind, wrapping a scarf around your neck and tucking it into your coat before pulling on your hat.
“Are you coming?” you asked, your eyes warily running along Yoongi’s rigid body as he stood there with his eyes closed taking deep breaths.
“Yeah. I’ll meet you down there.” he tossed you the keys so you could unlock the car he’d started a few minutes beforehand, making sure it was warmed up.
You trudged down to the car, dragging your purse and the pie you were meant to bring to the occasion, sliding into Yoongi’s passenger seat and placing your hands against the vents for the warm air. A few minutes later, Yoongi joined you, much more relaxed than before. You sent him a hopeful smile and rested your hand on his knee.
“Thanks for coming with me.”
“Of course. I’ve got your back.” he shrugged, backing out of the space carefully.
You watched the scenery as Yoongi drove, noting how the snow had dusted the trees with a beautiful blanket, making everything brighter, almost as if it sparkled. You loved the snow as a kid and you loved it still, a fond nostalgia settling in your chest until you noticed you were getting closer to your parents house. Your grip returned on Yoongi’s knee and he tensed a bit before placing his free hand on top of yours.
“It’s going to be okay. I’m right here,” he soothed, then wiggled his eyebrows playfully “plus your mom approves of your boyfriend now.”
“She loves you more than me now.” you pouted.
“Well, I am pretty irresistible.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” you threw back.
“Don’t think I don’t notice you checking me out, babe.” he smirked, emphasizing the last word as you both walked up to the front door, Yoongi’s hand reaching out to knock gently.
“Shut up.” you crossed your arms defiantly.
Yoongi poked at your side, almost making you drop your pie, but he saved it at the last minute by reaching out and grabbing it from you. This caused his face to be just inches from yours and your eyes locked for a moment and you swear time stopped. Your heart was pounding in your chest as his gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips momentarily, and you sucked in a breath in anticipation. It might have been your imagination, but Yoongi seemed to get a little closer to your parted, waiting lips before your mom opened the door. The two of you sprung apart like you’d been caught at a crime scene.
“Well don’t stop on my account.” your mom giggled, sending you a playful wink before beckoning you inside.
You avoided eye contact with Yoongi and tried to take steady breaths to calm your racing heart, your mind going a mile a minute. Was he about to kiss you? Surely not. You were play dating, and no one was watching. Did he want to kiss you? Your cheeks were on fire and you were honestly a little riled up, pressing your thighs together discreetly. You handed your mom the pie, which she sliced and set on the table.
“Merry Christmas, mom. Where’s dad?”
“Oh he’s taking a nap. Yoongi, come over here! I want to get a picture of you two together!” your mom grinned.
“What are you, best friends now? You guys video chat at least once a week.” you whined.
Your mom waved you off and held her camera up while Yoongi stood beside you, giving you plenty of room.
“Scoot closer. You’re boyfriend and girlfriend, not awkward preteens.” your mom huffed.
Yoongi stepped closer and put an arm around your shoulder, leaning in and smiling for the camera. You heard the shutter go off a few times, attempting to pull away.
“Wait. Let’s get one of you kissing his cheek, Y/N!” your mom gushed.
“Moooooom.”
“Do it.” she chided.
You sighed and glanced up at Yoongi in silent apology, but he only lent over and offered you his cheek. You gently pressed your lips to it, feeling the skin tingle where it met his. The tips of Yoongi’s ears were suspiciously pink, but you paid it no mind. He was probably uncomfortable. Your mom snapped a few pictures and smiled to herself.
“You two act like you’ve never touched each other.” she commented offhandedly while turning around to place her phone on the charger.
“Yoongi’s not a fan of PDA.” you covered smoothly.
“When I was your age my man couldn’t keep his hands off of me.” she shrugged.
“MOM!”
“What? It’s true. Young men always have a one track mind.”
You covered your face with your hands, and your mom laughed. Yoongi wrapped his arms around you from behind, shielding you with his body.
“Don’t be shy babe. I just wanted to be respectful around your mom but she doesn’t seem to care.” he spoke, allowing his lips to graze along the shell of your ear, causing a shiver to run through your body.
Yoongi smirked and kissed your cheek before letting you go, standing up straighter. You glanced where he was staring and your dad was making his way down the hall to join everyone.
“Merry Christmas, dad.” you said politely.
“Merry Christmas.” he responded, his tone a little stiff and uncomfortable.
He wasn’t showing clear distaste for you or Yoongi, so you took it as a win. Your mom must have had a talk with him. You silently thanked her and took your seat beside Yoongi at the table. Dinner was pretty uneventful, light small talk that your father barely participated in and Yoongi relentlessly complimenting your mom on her cooking skills, telling her how delicious the food was and how he needed the recipes.
After dinner, you all sat around the tree and opened gifts, your father having gifted your mother a lovely pearl necklace, your mother giving your father a new watch. You’d gifted your mom a foot massager that looked like slippers you’d seen at the mall, and your father a new set of tools, knowing his were beginning to wear. You’d gifted Yoongi a gift card to his favorite store at the mall, and he’d given you a beautiful bracelet he saw you eyeing a few weeks back.
The last gift to be opened had been a pair of matching couple’s pajamas for you and Yoongi, a red and white plaid design that was actually kind of cute. Your mom made you hold them up and take a picture together, ignoring your protests that she had taken plenty of pictures beforehand. Packing everything up and getting ready to go, you looked up between your parents and sighed contentedly.
“This was nice, getting along,” you smiled at your mom, standing up and dusting off your skirt, “we’ll be sure to visit soon.”
Your mom leaned in for a hug from both of you while your dad stood silently off to the side, hands at his sides, fingers twitching slightly like he was unsure if he should lean in as well or not. Swallowing your pride because it was Christmas, you walked over to him and wrapped your arms around him. He gently patted your back a few times before stepping back.
“See you around, dad. Merry Christmas.” you spoke softly.
“Merry Christmas.” he repeated, looking away uncomfortably.
You sighed and took Yoongi’s hand in your own, gazing up at him in a silent question. He smiled and pulled you towards the door. The second he opened the entrance, snow blew into the living room from the force of the wind, and Yoongi quickly shut the door, having to put in more strength than usual with how hard the wind was blowing.
“Wow, it’s really coming down hard out there.” your mom commented, eyebrows raising in surprise.
“Does your vehicle have four wheel drive?” your dad asked.
“Um… no.” Yoongi scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably.
“Oh there is no way I’m letting you drive in this!” your mother gasped.
“Mom, we have to go home. I’m sure we can drive slow.” you reasoned, though your nerves about the weather were grating at you.
“Absolutely not. You’ll stay here.” she commanded.
“YN… your mom is probably right. It looks pretty bad out there. I don’t think it would be safe…” Yoongi said quietly.
You sighed, resigning to your fate and nodded, setting your purse back on the coat rack and removing your jacket. Yoongi followed suit, shedding his coat and hanging it up, smiling apologetically in your direction. Your father had already retreated back to his bedroom to clean up for the night.
“Are the spare blankets still in the hall closet?” you asked your mom.
“Yes, why?” she wondered.
“I was going to grab one, Yoongi or I will probably be sleeping on the couch.”
“That couch is not comfortable enough to sleep on. It’s not like I don’t know you sleep together at home.” she scoffed.
Your cheeks lit up brighter than the Christmas tree in the corner of the living room and you didn’t dare look at Yoongi. Your mom laughed at your reaction, rolling her eyes and walking down the hall.
“Goodnight, see you in the morning.” she called over her shoulder.
The two of you stood there silently for a moment before you coughed and gestured for him to follow you to your old bedroom. Most of your stuff had been taken to your apartment by that point, so it was mostly just your old bed and an empty dresser with a lamp on it. You glanced down at the full sized bed, which had enough room for the two of you, but barely enough to ensure that you wouldn’t end up touching.
“Do you care which side?” you wondered, finally looking up to meet Yoongi’s gaze.
“No, it doesn’t matter to me.” he shrugged.
“Okay. You can go change first.” you offered.
Yoongi nodded and disappeared down the hallway to change into the pajamas your mother had gifted the both of you previously in the night. You decided to go ahead and rush through changing while Yoongi was gone, slipping on the matching pair and crawling into bed. The two of you laid straight on your backs, staring at the ceiling for a while.
“I’m sorry about this.” you mumbled quietly.
“It’s okay, really.”
You didn’t remember falling asleep so soon, but you woke up to a pitch black room with something warm and firm pressed up against your back. You snuggled closer to the warmth in the freezing room and were met with a low groan and something a solid pressing against your backside.
“Nnnngh.” Yoongi whined, half-asleep, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you flush against him.
You froze, trying not to rub against Yoongi’s erection that was pressing into your ass, but that didn’t stop the shiver from traveling through your body. With great effort, you managed to turn yourself around in Yoongi’s arms so you were facing him, watching his serene facial expressions in his slumber.
Yoongi really was a beautiful man. You watched him take slow, steady breaths, his face illuminated by the moonlight trickling in between the blinds. You wanted to reach out and touch him, feel his smooth skin beneath your fingertips, but you didn’t dare in case you woke him.
His body shuffled closer to yours once more, his arms tightening around you until your noses were nearly touching and you had to hold in a gasp. There was no way this would be happening if Yoongi had been conscious, and you weren’t sure if you should let him sleep or alert him to what he was doing. You couldn’t help being slightly elated at the situation though, being this close to Yoongi and being able to study his features without fear of looking weird, and the way his groin felt pressed against your lower stomach wasn’t something you’d complain about either.
You decided you should probably stop taking advantage of his unconscious state and attempted to climb over him to get out of bed without disturbing him. Just as you’d swung your leg over his body, he turned in his sleep, flipping onto his back, effectively knocking you off balance until you landed atop his chest, your legs straddling his hips.
You glanced up at his face and your eyes met, faces mirroring expressions of shock. You were both frozen in place for a moment, staring into each other’s eyes. You snapped out of it and tried to climb off of Yoongi’s hips, just as Yoongi tried to sit up, so all the two of you accomplished was grinding your core against Yoongi’s erection. Yoongi let out a strangled moan, reaching out to grab your hips to hold you still.
His fingers gripped the skin of your hips where your shirt had ridden up, and his touch burned in the best way. You fought back a whimper at the delicious feeling, your hips stilling in his iron grasp. The air in the room changed, getting thicker. You swore you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. Your racing heart skipped a beat as Yoongi’s eyes traveled down your body until they rested where your core met his length. He shivered. You gulped. Once again, you attempted to flee your current position.
“Please- don’t move,” Yoongi whined, almost desperately, “you’re making it worse.”
“I know I’m irresistible.” you chuckled awkwardly, trying to lighten the mood.
“You really are.”
Your brows rose in surprise at the earnest tone he spoke in, his voice bordering desperate. Your mouth slightly agape, you searched his eyes for confirmation he wasn’t joking. He smirked and sat up, holding you against him as his lips ghosted along your neck, barely brushing against your skin. His hot breath fanning against your skin sent a shiver down your spine. His fingers dug into your sides almost demandingly, and he let out a low, animalistic growl.
“You don’t even realize what you do to me… how much you tempt me. I see the way you look at me, the way your eyes linger. You’re anything but subtle. I’ve tried so hard to hold back… If we weren’t at your parents house, I’d fuck you so hard you’d forget your name…” Yoongi’s voice was low and quiet, and you let out an involuntary whimper at his words, causing his eyes to darken and a smirk to play on his pretty lips, “but maybe you’d like that, maybe you want them to hear, you want them to know what a dirty slut you can be, wanna show them who you belong to. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, baby girl?” he purred, rocking his hips up into yours, letting his rock-hard member drag deliciously against your covered folds.
“Oh fuck… yes.” you whimpered, all sense of dignity flying out the window at his dirty words.
“Fuck, I’ve dreamed about this for so long.” he groaned, using his hands to guide your hips along his length.
“Me too.” you whimpered, falling forward and placing your hands on the defined planes of his chest, feeling it rise and fall as quickly as yours.
You allowed your hands to wander underneath his sleep shirt, feeling his warm skin against your own, slowly dragging your digits along his torso and teasingly letting your nails scrape gently against his nipples. Yoongi watched with rapt attention as you explored his body, relishing in the way you attempted to memorize every inch your eyes could devour.
His fingers dug into your hips when you flicked your thumb over his nipple, and you smiled innocently before dragging your hands down to the waistband of his pajama pants, gently lifting the elastic and letting it snap back against his skin, causing him to buck his hips up into yours. His hands traveled up your hips to grip the hem of your shirt, pausing and meeting your gaze to make sure you were alright, and you nodded, placing your hands on his and guiding them to remove the fabric, revealing your bare breasts underneath. Yoongi sucked in a breath, a low whine escaping as he released it.
His hands immediately found purchase on your breasts, his thumb and index finger rolling your hardened nipple. You let your head fall back as electricity shot straight to your core at his actions. You felt him move below you, sitting up in order to take one of your pert nipples into his waiting mouth. His warm tongue worked against the sensitive bud, alternating between licking and sucking while he worked the neglected nipple between his fingers. Your breathing grew shallower, your whines needier, and you felt Yoongi smirking against your skin, releasing your abused flesh with an audible pop.
“You fall apart so easily for me… who could’ve guessed you’d be such a responsive, cock hungry little thing.” he mused while allowing his hands to travel down your stomach, so close to where you needed stimulation.
“Yoongi please…”
“Fuck, say it again. My name sounds so much better coming from your pretty lips.”
“Yoongi.” you moaned, nearly breathless. “Please.”
In an instant, Yoongi had you flipped over, resting on your back as he hovered over you, his hungry gaze trailing over your chest and traveling down. He tugged on the waistband of your pajamas, pulling them down past the swell of your ass, then helping you kick them off and aside, leaving you in nothing but your panties.
“Wanna see you, Yoongi.” you pleaded, tugging on the hem of his shirt.
He quickly obliged, whipping it off and tossing it aside, revealing his expanse of glorious ivory skin to you. Your gaze traveled down the expanse of his torso, tracing over the intricate designs that decorated his skin in awe. You’d seen glimpses, when he’d been in just a towel, or stripping off his shirt at the washing machine, but you’d never gotten a good look up close.
You tentatively lifted your fingers, your index gently tracing the inky black lines as tenderly as you could, barely a ghost of a touch as you admired the beautiful artwork that so perfectly suited such a beautiful man. Yoongi shivered at your touch, watching you study his ink with such wonder in your eyes pulled at his heart strings, reminding him exactly why he’d fallen for you in the first place.
“When we have more time, I want to hear all about these,” you mused quietly, “what they mean, when you got them, I want to know everything.”
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know baby,” he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, “but for now…” he trailed off, slowly moving his body down, kissing a path from your lips down your front until he reached the elastic band of your panties.
He teasingly ran his finger under the elastic, grinning up at your from his spot between your thighs before pulling the garment from your body and tossing it aside, revealing your soaking pussy to him. You tried to close your legs from embarrassment, but Yoongi gently slid his hands up your thighs, gently kneading the flesh there.
“So beautiful, please don’t hide from me.” he cooed, kissing a line from your thigh to your folds, causing you to let out a pleased sigh and spread your legs further for him, “mmm… good girl.”
He rewarded you by licking a long stripe up your slit, gathering your slick on his tongue and making a pleased noise in the back of his throat before diving in, working his warm muscle against your clit in different motions, alternating between sucking it between plump lips, licking broad stripes against it, and drawing figures with the tip of his tongue.
Using your pleasure as a distraction, he slowly eased a finger inside of your entrance, your slick aiding him with the welcome intrusion. He curled his finger and made come hither motions, repeatedly rubbing the pad of his finger against your weakest spot, and it took everything inside of you not to cry out at the intense fire burning in your core as he worked you closer to your first release. He slowly added a second finger, then a third, scissoring you open and prepping you for his cock.
Just the thought of the thick member you’d felt pressing against your lower back earlier nestled deep inside you had you drooling, and Yoongi’s skills with his mouth and fingers were certainly not hurting. Quiet whimpers escaped your lips as you fought the urge to buck your hips up into his mouth as your climax came closer and closer. Yoongi noticed your needy behavior and sped up his actions, working you towards your release.
You bit down on your fingers to stifle the loud moans that threatened to spill from your lips, even in your lust clouded mind, the last thing you needed was to be interrupted before you could get Yoongi inside of you. As your orgasm crashed over you from Yoongi’s ministrations, your back arched off the bed and you nearly drew blood from how hard you had to bite down to keep quiet, your body shaking as you came down from euphoria.
Yoongi kissed his way back up your body, finally becoming eye-level with you, smirking at your fucked out state and heavy breathing. You laughed and hid your face in the crook of his neck, drawing his body closer to yours in an attempt to hide. Yoongi’s low chuckles reverberated, shaking the bed slightly. Your hands traveled from being wrapped around his neck, slowly trailing down his back and pulling on the elastic of his pajama bottoms, desperate to lay eyes on his thick cock, which was pressed into your hip.
“Yoongi… need you. Need you so bad.” you begged.
Yoongi’s cock twitched in his pj’s, and he assisted you with ridding him of them and his boxers in one go, allowing his cock to spring free and slap against his stomach in all its glory. You were absolutely salivating as you looked at the reddened tip, leaking precum, the long shaft, and you couldn’t wait to feel him filling you up.
“Ready, princess?” he wondered, lining his member up with your entrance after gathering your slick to coat the head.
“So ready. Please fuck me, Yoongi.”
Yoongi slowly pushed himself inside your entrance, stretching your walls in the most delicious way. He took his time, periodically checking your expression for discomfort as he impaled you with his length. Your breathing was erratic, you were clutching onto his back for dear life as he split you open, eventually bottoming out. Yoongi stretched you out in all the best ways, filling you up better than any man had ever dreamed of before, and you were living for it.
You rocked your hips up into his, begging him to move, and Yoongi slowly pulled out until just the tip was sheathed inside your warmth before pushing back in, gaining more speed as he went. You couldn’t help the pathetic whines and moans that fell from your lips as Yoongi worked his hips, thrusting into you at a punishing pace. Every rock of his hips had the tip of his cock meeting your cervix, the powerful thrusts sending you closer and closer to oblivion.
“Fuck, babygirl, you look so sexy like this, taking my cock so well… like you were made for me. So fucking perfect.” Yoongi whispered hotly in your ear, licking a bold stripe along the shell, sending shivers coursing through your body.
“Yoongi, fuck.”
“That’s it baby, who’s making you feel this good?” he accentuated the last word with a harder thrust that sent your body a little farther up the bed.
“You, Yoongi! Oh oh o-oh..” your whines grow louder and Yoongi quickly covered your mouth with his own in an attempt to drown out the noise, lest your parents really do hear him defiling their daughter in her childhood bedroom.
You clawed desperately at his back, trying to warn him of your impending orgasm, and Yoongi deepened the kiss in understanding, pistoning his hips with as much strength as he could muster and reaching down to roll your clit between his fingers, sending you sailing off the edge, Yoongi’s kiss stifled your scream before he soon followed you off the edge, painting your walls white with his hot release.
Yoongi pecked your lips tenderly before rolling off of you and landing on his back beside you, both of you panting and grinning like idiots. Yoongi’s cum seeped out of your battered hole, and he licked his lips at the sight, causing you to cover your face and giggle. He stood, walking into the bathroom and dampening a washcloth to clean you up as gently as he could before tossing it into the hamper and resuming his position on his side of the bed.
The sun was just beginning to rise and shine through the blinds as you lay beside Yoongi, still catching your breath. You glanced over at Yoongi to find he was already looking at you. He gave you a shy, tentative smile.
“So…” he trailed off.
“So…?”
Yoongi sighed and sat up, urging you to follow suit so you could both talk. You followed his instructions, wincing slightly. He gently reached out and took both of your hands in his larger ones, looking up to meet your gaze before he spoke quietly.
“Listen… I know this started off as a lie to piss your dad off, but… I would be lying now if i said it was still fake for me. I really like you, Y/N.. I have for a while. I don’t know when it happened but somewhere along the way, I just- I don’t know. But if you’re willing to give me a chance, a real chance, I think I could make you happy.” he spoke quietly, his eyes filled with light and hope.
“Oh Yoongi…” you sighed, cupping his cheek with your hand tenderly and smiling as he leaned subconsciously into your touch, “you already do. None of this is fake for me either, not anymore. I really, really like you.”
A soft knock on your door tore you two from your moment, your heads snapping towards the door as you pulled the blanket up to cover your breasts.
“Morning, guys, breakfast will be ready in ten.” your mom called through the wood.
“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to look your mom in the eye now.” Yoongi chuckled.
“She already thought we were fucking before this.” you reasoned with a smirk.
Yoongi groaned and hid his face in the crook of your neck and you laughed, carding your fingers through his messy post-sex hair lovingly.
“I can’t believe you’re really mine, for real this time.” he whispered into the safety of your neck.
“And I can’t believe you’re mine… for real this time,” you grin, carding your fingers through his hair comfortingly, “let’s eat so we can go home.”
The two of you got dressed and headed out for breakfast, engaging in small talk with your mom and semi-comfortable silence with your dad. You still had a ways to go to fix that relationship, but you were pleased with the progress. You didn’t think you’d ever have a perfect relationship with your father, but you didn’t have to. You didn’t have to fix everything, or be who he wanted in order to receive love, you were slowly learning.
The roads had been salted and deemed safe to drive on, so you and Yoongi bid your parents a farewell, thanking them for letting you stay and for the gifts. Your mom pulled you into a hug, then Yoongi into one as well.
“I just love how happy you are around him, Y/N. It’s like you’re glowing. You two come visit soon, okay? I miss seeing you.” your mom spoke, holding your hand in hers.
“We will. I love you, mom.”
Yoongi reached out and you placed your hand in his, letting him lead you home.
Months later, on another lazy Sunday afternoon, you were cuddled up with your boyfriend on the couch of your shared apartment, snuggling into his chest while the two of you half paid attention to another movie on Netflix. Wrapped up in blankets and Yoongi’s arms, you’d never felt safer, more content, or so unbelievably happy.
Yoongi had your hand wrapped in his, lazily placing kisses along your wrist, palm, the tips of your fingers, anywhere his lips would reach. He wanted to shower you in kisses. You watched him with curious eyes, noting the way his own were shining as he met your gaze.
“What?” you wondered, chucking quietly.
“Say it again.”
“Yoongi,” you whined, looking up at him with a smile nonetheless, “I’ve said it like fifty times today.”
“Just one more time.”
You rolled your eyes before quietly letting the words roll off your lips like dripping honey as you pressed a kiss to his skin. “I love you, Min Yoongi.”
Yoongi hummed happily, almost like a purring cat, “Mmm.. I love you too.”
You snuggled into his embrace before he spoke up once more.
“Okay, just one more time.”
You laughed and rolled over so you were straddling him, reaching down and squishing his cheeks together before pressing your lips to his.
“I love you.” you giggled, pecking his lips once more, then repeating the words and actions over and over and over again.
“I love you I love you I love you I love you.” you peppered kisses all over his face, any part of it you could reach until your boyfriend was a mess beneath you, laughing and blushing with the biggest gummy smile on his face.
Every once in a while, you meet someone you instantly connect with. Every so often you cross paths with someone you’re just meant to meet. But, once in a lifetime, you meet someone who makes your soul feel whole again. You see a face in the crowd and instantly feel at home. You hear their laugh one time and suddenly the world has color again. Once in a lifetime, you meet someone who doesn’t save you, but holds you steady while you gather the strength you need to save yourself.
Min Yoongi is that person for you.
#bts#BTS SMUT#min yoongi#min yoongi smut#yoongi smut#yoongi x reader#min yoongi x reader#BTS suga#suga#suga smut#min suga#suga x reader#yoongi x you#min yoongi x you#suga x you#roommates au#softdom!yoongi#tatted bangtan#tatted bts#fake dating au
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did you basically waste your life in school, if the world ends in 2012? Yep, and I would’ve felt pretty deflated if the world really ended by then. Life hadn’t started looking up for me just yet, so if I looked back at what my life had been at that point it would just be shitty experiences at home and in school and I’d be sad that I never got to see it get better for me. yeah, i did. i don't believe in it though. do you? I didn’t but it was hilarious to jokingly hype it up. do you sing to songs in the car when you are alone? Yes. This is one of the two times I’m willing to belt out songs, which is why I miss driving these days. I haven’t been able to sing much lately. do you laugh at other people when they are alone in their car singing? No. I actually find it adorable when I catch someone on the road singing in their car alone, like I feel glad that they’re having a good time. have you every actually written a song? We’ve written songs for like grade school class exercises, but I haven’t done anything on my own.
the world will end in an hour. what do you do? Savor my last slice of cheesecake ever, wake up my parents to be with them, hug my dog, and have Gab on call. Either that or go to bed so I can sleep the end of the world away lol, I can’t decide right now. ever visited time's square? I have not. do you live in a place that is full of snow or only wishful, in winter? Wishful? I don’t know what you mean but we don’t have snow here. The nearest place to see snow is like South Korea probs. ever accidentally sent a text message to the wrong person ABOUT that person? Kind of? Back in 2009 (you know the year, so forgive the ancient technology I’m about to explain HAHA) my phone at the time didn’t have wifi or internet connection, but Twitter at one point allowed users to post tweets on their profile by texting it to a certain number Twitter designated for you so that’s how I tweeted whenever I didn’t have my laptop with me. Anyway one time I tweeted about my mom and accidentally sent the ‘text’ to her, but thankfully it was a neutrally toned tweet and not at all insulting haha. sorry if that was confusing:) what makes you relax? Not at all. Surveys make me feel very calm and relaxed, but if I’ve answered one too many and I still need some relaxation, YouTube is my backup. are you one of those camera whores? Nah I’ve always hated taking photos of myself. what is the longest amount of time that you have gone without sleep? I may have done 24-26 hours when I was a teenager but I can never pull that off and will never want to pull that off these days. are you tired of being alone? I’m tired of being at home. I think the feeling of being alone will always be comforting to me in one way or another. ever cried in public? Very rarely. I hate doing that, or involuntarily doing that. when was the last time you failed a test making a 20-or below? I think it was freshman year of high school when I scored something like 18/50 in an algebra class. It never happened again but I still struggled in that class throughout the school year. what color eyes does the person you are currently head over heels about have? Dark brown, like everyone I knowwwwwwwww. does the weirdest dream you have ever had involve your history teacher? No. That’s so oddly specific lmao. who might that be, anyways? I had various history teachers in both high school and college. d03z iiT b@hHt3R y3wH d@T ii R0t3 liiK3 diiz? it bothered me. I’m over it so I’m not as bothered anymore. Probably would have annoyed me if you showed this to me in 2009 though. how many christmas trees are in your home during the season? Just one. We don’t need more than that. do you remember the reason for the season or are you all for the presents? I’m very aware of the reason for Christmas, being raised Catholic, and my atheist butt constantly feels like an outsider or poser whenever I have to celebrate with my family hahaha. Overall, I’m more for the food served in the various family gatherings we attend than for the gifts. how many trophies do you own? Zero. have you ever played any sports that involve a ball bigger than a coconut? Nope. do you still watch cartoons? If I feel like being nostalgic I’ll watch SpongeBob sometimes but this doesn’t happen often. Generally though I don’t watch cartoons anymore. what name do you think is the prettiest on a girl? Right now, Mia. do ya know a guy named ben? Barely. He was a graduating senior by the time I had just entered college. ever told your date you were going to the bathroom and actually left? No. what never fails to put you in a bad mood? Last minute revisions on any work I’m involved in, crammers and freeloaders, politics in my country. do you journal/blog any? This blog. have you ever read any sarah dessen books? Nope. what is the first thing that comes to mind when i say green? I remember the word verde which is Spanish for green. Being stuck at home has made me reinstall Duolingo and I’ve been learning Spanish for the past two weeks, hah. It’s astounding to realize how many Filipino words have just been borrowed from Spanish this whole time: oficina/opisina, negocio/negosyo, queso/keso, pasaporte/pasaporte, familia/pamilya, escuela/eskwela – the list goes on. It makes for the easiest language course to take lmao. most of you said grass, right? how old are you, by the way? Afraid you’re wrong. 22. did you know that you hear/see something that relates to a monkey everyday? Sure. I watch Friends almost everyday and they had an entire storyline about Ross owning a monkey, so that’s one link to monkeys. Also aren’t we both primates? have you ever made a threat that you went through with? I don’t think so. how many pillows are currently on your bed? Two.
do you share a bed with anyone, or is it allll yours? All mine and it should stay that way because I only have a twin bed lol. are you scared to be alone after you watch a scary movie? Egh not always, but some will get to me. are you totally annoyed when taylor swift wins all awards at an award show? I wouldn’t be annoyed but since I don’t like her music I just wouldn’t be feeling particularly giddy over the sweep. do you own any songs that are from limewire? Nooooooooo, that’s ages ago. have you smacked anyone's butt today? Nope. are you from the north/south/west/east? East. ya live in america, right? Wrong again. would you ever want to be a celebrity? If I can be ~popular for something wholesome or generally uncontroversial or not chaotic like being a successful vlogger or blogger, or being close friends with a celebrity, then it might be nice. Otherwise I can live without it. did you ever take ballet as a kiddo? I took ballet lessons when I was 5, yes.
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Episode #3: “Like holy shit. I DID THAT!” -Birch
-Holy shit I did a thing!!! So this challenge was a little game of attack and defend. We found that an Uppercase i looks the same as a lowercase L (I vs l) sooo, I had to go cause my mom wanted the wifi off, so I sent 2 messages (which got me out) but I replaced an i with an L and why both defended themselves which got 2 people out (Timmy Z and Ali) left only Cindi, who promptly quit I think it was said that should couldn’t do the comp leading into tomorrow. So then my tribe won immunity. But like holy shit. I DID THAT!! I’m convinced my iconic shit only comes out when Lukas and Olivia host me. ILY both of them!!! I also got sent to the tree house. So now I have to chose what looks like a swap, music videos, and honestly idk what the last one is. It has to do with Alexander Graham Bell, or maybe a game of telephone?
-Soooooo, I have to exile someone. I kinda feel like going from a weird standpoint I want to exile myself cause then I am safe, and I don’t have to worry about a challenge, but on the other hand I could keep myself in just incase there is the possibility of a swap, so I can help my tribe and exile someone else who I want to keep safe. But also trust can only go so far, and I have trust issues. If I exile myself I could fuck myself over. I’m also indecisive so this is fun. I need to look at the cast and think who is best to exile. Maybe someone I want to work with in the future. Keep them safe, and pray to the gods that I stay safe.
-so... czern went without a hitch. he voted vi super randomly, so i kind of assume he was told he was going. but i truly do not care, he went home so im vibing. and then we had... that challenge. and immediately it was kind of clear we were losing JKLFDSA, it was kind of a disaster. we had an immmediate, early numbers disadvantage and that gave the Jack tribe wiggle room to try every trick in the book to psych us out. I was the first person to survive being jumped by them from my tribe (ilivedbitch.jpg), but also we tried SO much. Someone needs to call Nev, because the Annie tribe TRULY said time to catfish. We did the lowercase L thing, we tried EVERYTHING but it was a struggle. Credit to Birch for getting Me/Timmy out simultaneously, that was super impressive. But we are back at tribal AGAIN. and its starting to get dicey because... there isn't anyone i actually want to vote out on this tribe. Like I assume Dan is going to go this time, because he was gone FIRST in the challenge and is very quiet...? But then we are probably gonna swap at 16, which is scary because a) i don't want us to lose again and go into a swap with a MEGA numbers disadvantage b) who else am i gonna vote? timmy? it gets DICEY. so hopefully dan goes and we do an exile swap... because otherwise it gets tetchy. im getting sus with austin too, king is doing a lot and im gonna keep tabs on it. im also super afraid of the other tribe, that conglomerate of keegan/zach/birch is super scary to me. im gonna get bodied by a network of pre-existing connections and i am not looking forward to it
-https://youtu.be/Yzwlq1M7RzI
-https://youtu.be/taNWED3L7pM
We lost again. Dan really fucked up and he’s gotta go now since he’s messed up two out of two rounds we lost. Can’t really save him now
minding my business waking up to an alliance with some freaking cuties. me, zach, gavin and keegan??? i could get on board with that. lets not swap or do anything stupid to mess this up thank YOU.
hi nothing has happened and i would love to tell you more :/
Hello hello! After a busy few days I'm finally home and I've been having more chances to really get to know my tribemates better. Cindi is an absolute queen and we've talked about cooking and our siblings and I think we really vibe. Timmy and I talked a little strategy and he seems to really like me. Both of them aren't in my alliance soooo things might have to change sooner rather than later if we have to go to a third tribal. I've been talking a lot with Ali, Collin, and Austin too! Austin actually started asking me stuff about furries tonight, which I'm happy to talk about, but it is a little weird to be a representative of all furries LOL. I think as of now the best choice for me is to vote for Dan, I haven't really connected with him at all. I've been hearing his name from some others too. So for now my strategy is to play the social game and keep positive. I AM a former winner after all, even if I don't feel my win was too impressive, people will use that against me if I try to push an agenda this early on.
I think we are all voting for Dan but I haven’t been around much today and also... my DMs are a little dry! I’m trying to catch up with everyone right now though. I really like Cindi and wish I was in an alliance with her D: Also I cannot keep my eyes open at the moment. I’ve had a crazy few days and I’m just ready to sleep!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAO2hLWr9oI&feature=youtu.be
I don’t remember what the last confessional I made was. But we won the challenge thanks to some brilliant strategizing. And then CINDI just yeeted herself from the game. I now have an alliance with RACHAEL, ZACH and GAVIN. Which, in addition to my alliance of JESS and BIRCH, means I’m solid with 5 of the 8 other members in my tribe. Gotta love that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSZ1JG5VHgc&feature=youtu.be
Do I have any idea what is actually happening in this game. Absolutely not!! I need to pick up the pace and message more people and I know that is on me. I want to be here and play hard and will work better on doing so.
So this round, I made an official chat with Collin and Cindi. Good news is, that will help with idol hunt guessing and such. We already ruled out that dolphins is a no go, and a few other dead end paths. I also have the light advantage which I am super excited about but nervous on when to use. With the vote this round, i find out there is a 6 person alliance chat of everyone except for myself, cindi, and Dan. Unfortunately this round there is nothing we can do to turn that tide, but next round when it is 8 of us, we only need 1 person to flip over to cindi and I plus Collin (assuming we are both still here) to make that vote go through. I know Dan is voting for me this round and I will be voting for him. He is HORRIBLE in challenges. He has done the worst in all three of the challenges so far, and honestly its his time to go. He should have gone last round to be honest but for some reason the tribe wanted Czear or whatever. Hoping for the best tonight I guess.
https://youtu.be/xxvHRGygG0g
OKAY I THINK I AM NOT AS FUCKED AS PREVIOUSLY EXPECTED. Like, I'm not GOOOOOOD, but I do have people. Like, Austin does have my back and we're gonna do another easy vote but he is agreeing that after this easy vote if we don't swap we need to shake things up which I am 100% in agreement with. Like, I can not stay at the bottom. I am not a bottom. I don't do underdog stories. I am not an underdog. Well, I am right now but I DO NOT ENJOY IT. I like Timmy but he is paranoid and as someone who gets to paranoid I do not need it. Like, he is going before me if power structure does not shake up, so he has his place, but PLEASE STOP REMINDING ME THAT I AM FUCKED I KNOW JESUS I DON'T DO WELL WHEN I'M PARANOID SO I GOTTA STAY CALM.
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Click HERE to watch the Round 3 Cast Assessment!
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Game of Turons
May or may not be missing Filipino food at this point..
April 1
Quick day-trip to Mostar. It’s so beautiful here! We had a fresh little taste-tour of homemade and local cheeses paired with bread, paprika spread, and salami. We had the chance to try a bitter cherry drink (I thought it was pretty sweet and tasty) and also this syrupy cookie. Basically a lunch. We weren’t entirely hungry afterwards, so we grabbed a cone of gelato and sat out on the ruins of the original bridge (Stari Most) and watched as bridge jumpers collected money from tourists and took the plunge. Sugar mama Craven also needed to spend those marks, so she treated everyone to some fine souvenirs. We all got matching bracelets (yay friendship) and also got some matching copper earrings (sorry pat). I could finally see the appeal of shopping since I just had money to throw around and get rid of.
Holy hell it is hot out. A toasty 80-ish degrees. How am I going to survive when I come back home to So-Cal and Phoenix?? I used to think anything below 90 degrees was cold and now I’m perfectly warm and comfortable in 45-50 degree weather. We had an afternoon tour to learn about the history of Mostar and visit a mosque and Kajtaz house. We were also able to climb the museum tower next to Stari Most and talk to a local who had been living in Mostar at the time of the wars and helped to rebuild the new bridge despite the fact that he was held captive in the war, used as a human shield, and lost some mobility in his left arm. He was very friendly and open about his experiences.
Uno ruins friendships. We played an almost endless 2 hour game on the bus ride to Dubrovnik and the only reason we stopped (besides the fact that we were already over the game) was because the sun was going down and we couldn’t tell yellow from green anymore.
April 2
Game of thrones who?? Yeah so I still have yet to finish the show. Please no spoilers and I’m sorry that I might not be able to fully understand the settings here that were used in the show. BUT I WILL SOMEDAY.
I’m in love with Dubrovnik. I love the ocean and the sea. Basically any body of natural water. I love the fresh air and the warm sun and the salty breeze. I love the orange rooftops and the FREAKING castle in the middle of town. I love the cliffsides that are inviting us to dive into the freezing cold water.
I got wet. We went down to the rocky cliffs and I wanted to get close enough to dip my toes into the water. Welp, I did. But then the waves were excited to see me too and just whipped my legs, soaking my pants from the knees down. No worries though. There’s still enough time in the day to lie out on the rocks and let them air dry. And that’s what I did.
Please sir let me go kayaking. We still had time to kill and figured why not? It was such a challenge to figure out how to get down from the castle and streets level to the pebble beach area. We finally got down and the guy was like please don’t, I’m trying to close up shop for the day. It was 3:30pm. There’s still plenty of “day” but I guess he’s the boss of his own hours. We sat on the little pier overlooking the water and watched as the last few kayakers paddled back to shore and turned in their gear. We also saw Patrick at the top of the tower across the water! He came down to meet us at our spot. We also saw a youngish teenage boy rowing this girl to shore. Hi can I steal your boat? It was super tiny and could barely fit the two of them in it, but I tried imagining how to fit all four of us into it. We observed as he spent the next 10 minutes helping the girl out of the boat and then rowing to his parking spot, securing his boat to the ropes, and then nimbly climbing out to the pier deck. He made everything look so easy and we enjoyed playing with the idea that we’d all fall in the water or get stranded 5 minutes into rowing.
We took the world’s slowest taxi back up to the hotel, but at least he was a safe (unless driving too slow is dangerous?) driver. We changed into our swimsuits, excited to spend time in the pool at the hotel. I think it was old people hour though? I hope we didn’t disturb them too much. Our plan was to hang out in the hot tub but the water was lukewarm?? We sat in somewhat cool water and had jets attacking our limbs from every angle. Not really a grand time but definitely an interesting one. At one point, we gathered hands and prayed to the jacuzzi gods for the 2 seconds of warmth that would happen when the jets would first start up. 100% worth it for those two seconds.
April 3
I like the long bus rides- they are comfortable and prime time for introspection (#feeling inspired). Today’s extended pitstop is in Zadar. Home of the beautiful sunsets, Monument to the Sun, and Sea Organ. In the early afternoon, Patrick, Raine, Aubree, and I walked to the grocery store to pick up supplies for nutella and banana sandwiches (since there was no jelly). We also met up with Kaya and Sara and joined them at McDonald’s for lunch (fun fact: their cola weirdly tasted like bubblegum??)
We had Sara’s sparknotes cool-aunt version of a tour, which ended with us soaking up the sun, watching the rough waves roll and crash, and listening to the wondrous and unique song of the sea organ. We took a snack break to bring back pizza to eat while watching the red-dot sun set behind the voluptuous blue-purple clouds. The sun honestly seemed to slip away so quickly. Live it in the moment, folks. Sometimes it’s not worth it for the instagram. It’s worth it to be present.
We’re addicted to crazy 8 at this point and itching to head back to the hotel to connect to the wifi and destroy friendships. But first, gelato. Since it was late in the evening, our guy piled scoops into our cones.
April 4
Took a lovely nature stroll through Plitvice Lakes National Park! So many waterfalls gracefully cascading down. Such a pretty sight and I could never get tired of it. I just took my time walking through the paths, and at one point Sara encouraged us to spend 10 minutes sitting by ourselves in the sounds of nature. Blissful.
We had lunch outside and tried to not get dust blown into our food or get blown away from the strong winds. We let our food digest as we took a ride on the world’s slowest boat. It didn’t even feel like we were moving- the ride was almost too smooth.
When we arrived at Hotel Park, SaVanna’s mom (and her mom’s best friend) came out and surprised her in the lobby. We all couldn’t help but feel a little butt-hurt because 1. we were all on our periods (maybe Patrick too) and just emotional wrecks in general and 2. we hadn’t seen any of our loved ones for MONTHS and she had received a lot of love via care packages and letters from friends/family, her boyfriend visited her for spring break, and now her mom was here to surprise her for the weekend. Super happy for her but salty that we got slapped in the face with it.
Anyways, hello Ljubljana! Weird full circle. It’s like a combination of everywhere that I’ve visited. It’s got hints of Salzburg/Vienna/Budapest with its architecture, Amsterdam (with its bikes), Berlin (with it’s energy). Feels hip and fun. Had beers, burgers, and bomb conversations for dinner. Such a great time hanging out with the squad along the river and laughing about some of our most embarrassing stories. Afterwards we went back to the hotel and passed ouuuuut (rip crazy 8, maybe we’ll catch ya next time).
April 5
Ljubljana walking tour with another lovely guide! He was such a warm and welcoming soul, and he was very excited to show us around even though it was a wet and stormy day. I had an umbrella, but I still managed to get wet. Nike? More like yikes. Tried to keep my shoes dry but then the puddles continued to rise and my feet were already wet so might as well just go all out and step in the puddles. At the end of the tour, we had a river cruise, which turned into a champagne (booze) cruise courtesy of Katharina showing up to surprise Sara on her birthday :)
Had the most amazing falafel wraps in my life. Went back to the hotel to rest for a bit. Raine took a nap, but I just relaxed in the comfort of my dry, warm bed and watched youtube videos for a few hours.
Later, we ventured back out for dinner (at the same place that we visited the night before) and ended up staying out with the rest of the crew since they were at the same restaurant as us :)
April 6
Goodbye Ljubljana! At least it’s not raining today. One last stop before we return home: Postojna Cave. This cave is HUGE. We had to ride a little tram into the walkable parts of the cave, and I swear it was a 15 minute ride in a little cart on train tracks. It was jerky and weirdly close to the walls and I felt like I was going to hit my head every 10 seconds. Also got carsick on the ride, so it wasn’t the best tour of my life. Still, the caves were pretty impressive. How can rocks look like paper sometimes?? Our tour guide also had fun surprising us and at one point she went to the generator and turned off the lights and it was PITCH black. I’ve been in darkness before, but nothing compares to those few seconds in complete blackness. Everyone was talking and trying to find each other (even as we were standing next to one another to begin with) and I still felt like I was the only one in the area and everyone else was so far away.
At the end of the tour, we walked into a little cave room area where our photographs were up for sale. So that’s what those people were doing when we entered the tram entrance! They were literally all up in our faces with their flash photography and I thought they were trying to capture some famous person behind me or trying to get a picture of my face to document every individual who enters in case there’s a tragic emergency and they need evidence of who went in and didn’t come out, but turns out they were just trying to catch us as off guard as possible for the worst photos in the world lol
Back on the road again = back in my sleepyhead dreamland
We said our final goodbyes to our lovely bus driver Benny (rip cause these goodbyes were so short too). I’m gonna miss that Mr. Bean soul.
Yay for being home before the sun goes down for once! And hello spring in Salzburg! So excited to be here while the weather gods kindly bless us.
#Salzburg Semester#Studying Abroad#balkans#Bosnia#Mostar#Croatia#Dubrovnik#Zadar#Plitvice Lakes#National Park#Slovenia#Ljubljana#Postojna Caves#Salzburg
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Wednesday, March 13, 2019
post #428
condensed post
main points:
- woke up around 10am, chilled in bed and mobilized/headed out around 11am
- got a pastry at a family mart on the way to taipei main station. it was like a 10 minute walk from my airbnb fortunately. went to the ticket counter and purchased my HSR ticket for 11:31am. also went to a bakery shop and got a hot dog pastry thing cause i was still kind of hungry. i chilled for like 15 minutes, i couldn't connect to wifi cause the wifi required me to make an account with a taiwan phone number :’(
- rode the train for an hour and got to taichung around 12:18pm. when i got there i tried to record with my DSLR camera. then... on the second clip, the screen glitched and froze. this was like when my camera broke in october 2017. not good news. i tried switching the batteries but it didn't work. god damn it. my camera might actually be broken this time. switched my phone to airplane mode for the day so i could use it for recording
- john came and picked me up around 1:20pm. we rode on his scooter over to rainbow village since it was close to the HSR station. scootering is SOOOO fun. but after we started picking up speed i could barely open my eyes cause there was so much wind LOL. but it was a nice sunny day out so all good. while we were riding, i think a fly got caught in my band-aid on my right thumb. yikers had to get it out/wash it off in the bathroom when we arrived at rainbow village
- wandered around rainbow village for about 30 minutes. we just kind of caught up on how things were going cause it's been like 6 years since i last saw john :o he told me about how his teaching is going and also how he's learning chinese which is super cool. so much respsect that he's able to do that
- scooted over to a mall to go to a sushi place that john likes. but the first mall we went to was the wrong one :P so we scooted another 5 minutes and then went to one of those sushi places with conveyor belts. it was super cool, i got a lot, like maybe 5 plates? our meal in total was like $10 per person. they also have a really cool plate game at the end where for ever 5 plates you drop in, it has an RNG game that you might win something from a gachapon type thing. the salmon with cream cheese was pretty good. we talked a lot about john's teaching experiences in an inner city school and now in taiwan. i also talked a bit about my internship experiences/leading up to my full time job
- john gave me a couple of options that we could do and i opted for the hike :D big mistake, the hike was so hard lmaooo. we got there and then hiked for maybe like 40-60 minutes up to the top. there were so many stairs :o also it was kind of hot. but honestly i couldn't imagine what it would be like if it were dead of summer with humidity added to it too. once we got to the top there was a guy selling this cold lemonade juice so i got one of them. also we got to the top and watched the sun set which was great timing (like around 6:30pm) . then we flew my drone around for like 20 minutes just to see the view from the top of the mountain. i got a bunch of mosquito bites, the big ones were one or two on my neck
- scooted over to a night market and wandered around for a bit. we both got scallion pancakes which were solid. then i tried to get some milk tea but it was actually just milk and boba. it was meh but oh well, gotta try the boba in taiwan while i can
- scooted over to john's favorite ice cream place and then ate it on top of this abandoned building he knew of across the street. it was low key really scary and sus. i was anxious the whole time. but it was an interesting experience LOL. john had a lot of "would you rather" questions like would you rather lose an arm or a leg? lose sight or lose hearing? very interesting stuff
- john gave me a ride back to the HSR station and we said good bye. it was already like 9:30pm. the whole day flew by so fast, so many activities. it was really really nice catching up with him. he seems like he's thriving, meeting so many new people and really getting immersed in taiwan culture :)
- took the train back to the apartment. then just took a shower and wrote an email to Canon support asking what I could do about this situation. i got back home and it was the same battery issue so i thought maybe it would be fixed. but after recharging the battery and plugging it in, i actually got an error 80 this time. but since i had it repaired in 2017, they made a public notice that they fix error 70/80 for free. i just don't know if i have the time to wait for them to repair it while i'm traveling... sigh
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CATFISH BLOG
“If they seem too good to be true they probably are”
The meaning of Catfish
Wikipedia
lure (someone) into a relationship by adopting a fictional online persona.
BLOG
So, I decided a few weeks ago to dip my toe back in pond of the dating world, I‘d had a 6 month break, done a lot in that time, joined diverse social groups, learnt African dancing, Drumming, Kizomba, Meditation, all kinds of weird stuff really, Met lots of great new people and did lots of socialising but never came close to meeting that special someone. I‘d had the time to get over the trauma of last year’s dating and was ready to throw caution to the wind,
Unfortunately, what started as a dipping my toe in the pond turned into the biggest Tsunami dating disaster I ‘ve ever had, I found the worst type of guy no woman should ever have to experience, to sum it up in one word I met “ CATFISH’
As I am writing this blog there are some common words I know I am likely to use and In order to make reading this blog easier I am putting some abbreviations in place for these words to stop repetition
CF The guy (never got his real name so I will just call him CF – Catfish)
AB Absolute Bollocks -referring to most stories he told me
ABR Alarms Bells ringing
PAP Psychotic and Paranoid – referring to me and my frame of mind ie whenever I questioned his stories which were not adding up I was made to feel like I was crazy, and was imagining everything. :”Babe why you being so paranoid and negative, you need to chill… “
Anyway I found this guy on Tinder (oh no not Tinder I hear you moan) Yes Tinder, Advantages – free, quick and easy to use, Disadvantages – a hunting ground for catfish, you can float around in cyberspace with no digital footprint so hard for anyone to catch you if you are on there for anything other than a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that Tinder is also used as a cheap hook up at the end of the night, based on finding someone in close proximity to you. I do not judge anyone who is into extra marital affairs. What does piss me off in the dating world is not declaring what you are on the site for (or downright lying that you are single and after a relationship which is clearly not the case.) Like for example POF (Plenty of Fish) you can opt for a Relationship or admit you are not after a Relationship – just after a bit of fun. It easy, just click the option you want.
As long as you are open and honest that’s fine. But when you are lying about your situation and making out you are single when you are actually married that’s when it becomes a nightmare for the other person, who is using the site for serious purpose.
So back to my CF story.
I noticed since I last used Tinder there was now a new added feature to help you find someone quicker rather than having to go through the cumbersome process of getting a Match. THE SUPERLIKE BUTTON
Just to explain a bit about SUPERLIKE, if you know about Tinder, you will know that if you like the look of someone’s profile you swipe left and if you no likey you swipe right. However the Match process only happens if that person also sees your profile and happens to swipe left also. It can take weeks for that to happen, it may never happen and I don’t have time to wait around! However, the Super Like button bypasses all of that waiting game. If you Super Like someone, they get an instant notification, they see your profile and if they accept you, IT’S A MATCH Get your coat lad you’ve pulled!!
You only get one SuperLike a day, you can pay for more if you want, but believe you me, with the PondLife you get on Tinder, one Superlike a day is more than enough. I decided to use my Superlike Power when I did surprisingly find a guy I liked the look of. Hit the button and yippee within 10 minutes he liked me back, we had a Match.
Indeed The Superlike button has great powers, but with great powers comes great responsibility
I opened his message to a very excited ‘I am so happy that you have chosen me, I have read your profile and you seem the perfect kind of woman I am after’…!!
Well that was flattering,
I responded and we swapped numbers and started to text, they was a lot of banter and I decided he had passed the first test (the Text Banter) and we started to discuss meeting up for the FIRST DATE.
I must admit I do not have time to text and email guys for weeks and weeks, I prefer to just arrange a meet up pretty quickly and decide over a quick drink if I like them or not. Which is probably my downfall as I do not research the person I intend to meet or ask many questions. As long as they have a decent job, and can make me lol on a text message that’s about the only criteria I need initially.
Anyway the date was set up that weekend, a Saturday afternoon in a beer garden. I got there first got myself a glass of wine and when he turned up I was not disappointed, nice to look at, Well dressed, easy on the eye, Dapper clothing, Tick, Tick Tick.
We chatted about a lot of interesting topics, he told me about his job, he was a trainee solicitor for Immigrants. He helped people stay in the country who arrived here with no paperwork from war torn countries.
Said he found his job very rewarding.
Spoke about his high morals and that he would never go out and sleep around with different women, his church values would not allow it. He was a one woman man.
He then had to cut the date short because he said he had a church meeting in his local community about supporting immigrants. (BTW All of the above turned out to be AB)
I did query before he left the fact he had De-matched me on Tinder pretty quickly which was a bit strange. The ‘De- Match button’ is when you are matched with someone but then change your mind. By ‘De matching them’ you are throwing them back into Cyber space so you are not connected anymore on Tinder and it’s a strange thing to do if you are planning a date with someone. You tend to keep them there, as a sweet reminder of how lucky you were in the first place to be matched with that person.
He said that he had 14 other Superlikes on Tinder (That is a lot – I get 1 Superlike a year) and all the women’s profiles were cluttering up his inbox. And he decided he liked me the best out of all of them, and wanted to see me, so he did not need them anymore.
I left my date feeling quite uplifted, but also sensing this guy may not be all he seems. Did I really believe he had deleted 14 Superlikes (including mine) before he even met me??
Anyway, having both accepted the first date was a success, the second date was set for a drink and meal the week after at my local. He came to my house first of all with a present, 2 bottles of my favourite Red Wine, he certainly knew how to impress. I did pour out a lot of my insecurities to him as well as the wine, my previous dating disasters, men promising everything but giving nothing, the ghosting horrors. He said he would never ghost Me, that he could see us together in a year and if anyone was going to end it, it would be me. That he could really see us in a long term relationship.
WARNING
“ If they say that they care about you and they act like things are getting serious after only a short amount of time, you might just have met a catfish”
When we later had a meal, he did mention he had a bad and serious allergy to prawns, I joked that if he wronged me I would come to his house and sew prawns in his curtains.
By 11pm the date was ready to end, and at this point he mentioned ringing a taxi to see his brother (ABR).
At this point I immediately sensed he was lying I mean why would you have to meet up with your brother or to go to his house at this time of night???. I tried not to be PAP and instead joked about the fact he was going to meet another woman
Being a polite host I then offered to ring him an UBER which he accepted.
Now my main reason here apart from the fact I love the UBER magic of a taxi turning up within 1 minute of ordering it, is because UBER tracks the journey and saves you a record of the exact journey taken. (I am not sure he knew this, so this was to my advantage). If he was lying to me as to his whereabouts I was going to find out.
When he got in the taxi I poured a glass of wine, and sat down to watch his journey home, SAD I know, but I wanted to see if he was really going to the place he said he was going. The taxi ride home took about `10 minutes and did go to the area he said, although I am pretty sure at some point there was 3 minutes stop at the University.
That was a bit strange, had he picked someone up another woman perhaps???? (PAP).
Reassured myself it was just the bottle of wine making me a bit squiffy, as soon as he got out the taxi (Yep you can even tell that) he text me to say goodnight and rest assured there is no woman here. All ok, went to bed feeling relatively happy.
What a difference 24 hours makes.
Saturday
I woke up the next day and looked at my phone. Now for the past week or two CF normally sent a good morning Text but there was nothing. Never mind, sure he is still in bed I thought I went to Whatsapp to text him good morning. Half an hour later I went to check he had got my message to see it only showed one grey tick (undelivered) which was strange, he tended to respond really quickly. In addition his timestamp and picture had gone.
I did not panic too much as sometime I remove my timestamp if I don’t want to get back to people quickly but I still felt uneasy. Had he blocked me? Surely not. . ???
Just to make sure I was not blocked I called him, he picked up straight away and said he was sleepy and I would call me back. I did question ‘Have you blocked me on WHATSAPP??”. Did not want to sound PAP but felt the need to ask. He assured me he had not blocked me “No, I do not have Wifi here that is all, I am not online I will call you as soon as I get up”
17:00 I had still not heard, and I was really feeling a bit annoyed. There was something not right here, call it my instincts I just knew. My jovial morning message was still not delivered and according to ‘4 steps as to how to tell if you are defo blocked on WHATSAPP’, I was 90% blocked.
I decide to confront my fear, I text him and said “There is something not right here and I know you have blocked me, I have a really bad feeling about this”
Two minutes later he called, assured me again he still did not have WI FI and had not blocked me.
Said he knew I was going out that evening and that was why he had not called. I was not really convinced but I was getting ready to go out and just decided to put my PAP thoughts behind me and enjoy my evening. He even text me saying “stop being so negative about this, lol you are so paranoid”
Sunday
By Sunday afternoon I was getting really annoyed. More Google Searches about ‘How to know if you are blocked on WHATSAPP were carried out with an additional test you can do to prove 101% if you are blocked (I was 101% blocked) I get a flashing message from Google now– Hey - accept it GAL you ARE SOO BLOCKED, get over it and move on.
And now my phone calls to him were going straight to voice mail.
Leading to more Google searches ‘How do I know if someone has blocked my calls “If it rings only once and goes straight to voicemail you could be blocked”
The test to check this for certain– ring immediately after from another different phone and if it rings as normal then that will prove you are 100% blocked.
I did the TEST and now know that I am 100% blocked from calls !!!.???
Hours and hours of Google and Quora searches about whether or not I am blocked from calls and messages were started to take their toll.
By Sunday evening I was tired, confused and at the end of my tether. I wearily sent him a text, ‘I’ve had enough, you are lying to me, I don’t want to see you anymore”
CF- “Well you certainly made your mind up about me, I told you that you would be the one to end it “
Me (annoyed at his smugness) Texting – “You were obviously fully aware of how untrustworthy you are and knew you would let me down”.
Me - Looking up at the unfinished bottle of RED WINE
Texting back “And the irony of this “The bottle of Wine has lasted longer that you have “
CF - LOL
Monday,
Spent morning feeling a bit miserable about the fact it was over, without me even knowing the truth.
11.00 - WHATSAPP text appears suddenly his profile and time stamp are all back. He asks if we can talk. I agree (not sure why) and when he calls later he says again that I am imagining it all and being paranoid.
And still insisting he has no reason to block me. That he reinstalls his WHATSAPP for certain reasons and that must be causing the problems. I argued my point and all my research on WHATSAPP and the 4 ways to discover you are blocked, to which he says ‘What are you, an FBI agent or something??”
For the next two hours I start to question my own sanity, maybe I wasn’t blocked, maybe his ex- girlfriend has synced his computer and is messing with his head, maybe there is a WHATSAPP fault just between our two phones that is causing this ????
15.00 I check my WHATSAPP again and cannot believe it
He has blocked me again.
17.00 I wanted the truth now, CODE RED. I was not going to rest until I get it.
I decide to ring him but know I am blocked. Another Google search -How to adjust my phone settings so he does not know it is me calling.
It shows me a video how to hide my profile ID so when it called him it says private number.
I did this and make the call, and he immediately picks up (GOTCHA)
When I say ‘Hi its me’ I can tell he is not sure who he is speaking to, his brain was frantically trying to work out which out his 14 Tinder Matches he was dealing with.
I could hear music in the background from his TV but he started spluttering he was in a shop and could not speak, muttered some rubbish about trying to call me all day and would call me back when he got home. The lines goes dead.
Right, am done with this, I am really angry, the fear in his voice when I called confirmed there was a secret here. I will use my own detective skills to work out what the hell is happening.
I go through my phone and all the pictures he had sent me to try and get some clues about him. When we first matched, he sent me about 20 pictures of himself, some pictures are beside his house some are beside his car (of which I can partly see the registration plate). Along with the address from UBER I am pretty sure I can find this man, hunt him down and expose the truth. I start to get excited, I know what I can do, I can buy some prawns, find his street his car and dump them all around it. I have a long conversation about this with my friend, who seeing me on the verge of a meltdown says she will get her boyfriend to drive me there.
I then worry this may be extreme, I don’t want the police involved after all.
And then I have another idea, I think back to our conversations and remember he told me the club hangs out most weekends, it is in a certain area of Leeds and it’s a club one of my girlfriend goes to, maybe if I send her his pic she will recognise him?? Lightbulb moment
I send her a text
Me “Hey how you doing, I think I ve been CATfished and there is a chance you may know him, he goes to the same club as you, if I send you his Pic can you have a look?”
Her: OMG did he take your money?
Me “God NO” (you can have a go at taking my heart and my mind but I am a Yorkshire girl, you aint getting my money that’s for sure)
Her “Ok send me the pic”
I then sent her one pic to identify him and as I was about to send her picture no 2 in case picture number 1 was not clear enough I could see her typing back, Message flashes up :
YEAH I know him
OMG I was about to get my answers,
I nervously rang her and told her I had been dating him
Is he single I asked – “No he is married ” (Bugger, slightly freaked out at this point, but to be honest I not overly surprised)
Is he a Solicitor I asked, “No he is unemployed” she laughs (I am quite upset about this revelation. More so than being married, all those conversations about those immigrants he saved and text messages saying he was at the Crown Court defending them (AB)
Does he have a Car? I ask, - No that must be his wife’s car.
Is his name “CF” “No that’s not his name “she said.
Does he live in LS….. I ask, NO he lives in LS….. (the address she confirms where he lives is the address I have got him the UBER too)
With a sinking feeling I realised my £8.50 taxi fare had taken him back to his marital home
Apart from being shocked and sickened by my new found knowledge I also felt slightly euphoric. I had managed to get all my answers without even leaving the house, I did not have to get my friends boyfriend to drive me round his estate whilst I wear a headscarf and dark glasses and then sprinkle prawns all around his car, trying to avoid any CCTV. I had brought him down in 48 hours, years of guys lying to me was finally starting to pay off, I now knew the signs and how to reel them in.
Lady Detective Agency here I come. YEAH
So what do I now do with my new found knowledge?
I decided immediately I wanted him to know that I knew. To make him sweat a bit that I had knowledge that could damage him.
Still feeling slightly euphoric and well as a bit nervous, I decided to leave a voice message
When it clicked to Voice Mail my message started, (I really should have prepared more for this.)
I had not meant it to sound threatening but it went into a creepy and strange Liam Neeson mode ( I know who you are, I know where you live and when I find you I will….) No, I did not want to threaten him, he knows where I live after all.
So half way through I changed my tone to a more upbeat and preppy, ‘I do not intend to take this further, you disgust me and I just feel sorry for your wife’ I HANG UP.
I slept really well that night, there is something about knowing you were right all along that fills you with a sense of calmness, all my worry about the fact I was turning into a PAP girlfriend was not the case, I was right all along.
CF did call me the next day, no doubt having received my strange voice message. I picked up quite intrigued as to how he was going to worm his way out of this one and if he was bricking it a bit, WHAT DO YOU WANT I said? In my creepy voice.
There was an uncomfortable pause as he cleared his throat.
“Errmmm”, I just wondered, he said, “If your new found knowledge has changed our friendship/relationship””????!!!!!!!
OMG was he frigging kidding me “You mean the fact you are married and unemployed “ I retorted???”
After a few expletives, I confirmed I wanted nothing more to do with him.
He then said he was disappointed that I had sent his private photos on to other people, said he found that very disrespectful!!!!! That he would never disrespect me by showing my photos around. (So I am the one disrespecting him now!!!!???))) How do guys have a habit of turning things around when they are in the wrong, making us to be the bad guy????????.
I mean Dude- you disrespected me the moment you put your dodgy Catfish Profile out there and then accepted my Tinder request. I thought I was seeing a single solicitor, I had in fact met an unemployed, married, sick Fantasist.
After a few long awkward pause it then got to point where there was nothing left for either of us to say and I just told him he disgusted me and hung up.
I have not heard from CF since, but I did feel worried about the 14 other Tinder Matches he was involved with, they should not have to go through this. I feel a need to protect them.
I decided to send a strong worded email to Tinder about the type of men that are using their website and gave as many accurate details about him as I could. (Well his phone number which was about the only thing that I did have on him, that was not false) I also had his Postcode thanks to UBER.
To be fair Tinder did take it seriously and said they would launch a full investigation. 24 hours later they confirmed they had dealt with it, but for privacy reasons they could not disclose what happened. I have no idea what they did, hoping they took him down and took action to ensure he does not prowl on their site again.
Moral of this story – apart from the fact there are many dishonest people on these websites, always trust your gut instincts, if something does not feel right, there is a good chance that it is not. If a relationship seems hard work in the very early stages, it is probably not meant to be.
“If it walks like a Duck and Quacks like a Duck, it is a Duck.”
I did read last year about a woman who wanted to make Catfishing illegal having been involved with a married man for over a year who was in fact leading a double life.
At the time I found this amusing but I do see now how woman can deem this act to be a crime, you are left feeling very raw and violated.
You can just as easily meet a guy in the outside world who lies and cheats, you can hardly make it a crime, where does one draw the line?
Maybe Dating websites should have more controls in place to prevent people lying on their site in the first place, getting them to fill in some kind of honesty disclaimer, and making it very clear that there is a report button is anyone abuses the intentions of site. Persuading people to be honest about what they are after rather than tricking people. We need to take more action to make it harder for these douch-bags to get onto these sites in the first place.
In the meantime I will carry on with the dating lark I will not be defeated by my Catfish. You will not break me, “Come and have another go guys if you think you are hard enough”…..
I now have the skill and experience to bring you down in 48 hours, I may not tell you wife, but you can be 100% guaranteed that a very uncomfortable voice message and then an even more uncomfortable blog may be coming your way…….
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Naruto Alternate Ending: Christmas Edition
Merrrrrry Christmas and a happy new year @nasturcia! I’m your Secret SNS Santa!
First of all, I want to apologize a bazillion times for being so late to send this!!! I’ve been dealing with a family wedding for the past ten days where I travelled overseas and the internet was pure crap. I finally got home, and long story short, I now have amazing wifi connection lol.
I hope you like this—i don’t know why this was the first thought I got from the prompt you gave me, but I hope you like it (despite the slight OOC-ness from both Sasuke and Naruto)!!
Prompt: candles, blushing Sasuke, cuddles, warm clothes
“Why do you care about me so much?” Sasuke demanded.
Naruto chuckled softly, pressing his left hand over his stomach to lessen the pain from the contraction. “Heh, look at you, talking so much now cuz you can’t move.”
“Shut up and just answer me!”
Naruto stared into the sky, releasing a heavy sigh. “Because you’re my friend.”
Sasuke scoffed. “You already said that before.”
“And I meant it.”
“I’m going to ask you one more time,” Sasuke said, the gentle tone causing Naruto to whirl his head towards the raven, blue orbs immediately locking on ebony. “Why do you care about me?”
Naruto searched Sasuke’s eyes for any hint of trickery. Perhaps this was all a joke or he was trying to mislead him. But he found nothing.
A moment of silence passed.
“Naruto—“
“Because,” Naruto whispered, “I love you.”
— — —
Naruto clutched his chest, heart pounding just as hard as it did when those three words first came out of his mouth. The responding smile on Sasuke’s face had stayed fresh on his mind all the way back to Konoha, for the next set of months, and especially now, as he charged towards the Hokage’s office.
Banging on her office door, he didn’t bother waiting for a reply, storming in and slamming his hands on the desk.
“The answer is no,” Tsunade said, feeling a new headache forming.
“But it’s been months!” Naruto said, furious. “He shouldn’t even be in there!”
Tsunade set down her pen and pulled out her bottle of sake. “It’s a delicate situation.”
“That’s all you’re gonna say?!” Naruto snapped. “He saved the world and all our asses so we toss him into prison and call it a day?”
“Watch it, brat,” Tsunade cautioned, holding back her last nerve. “You know how unstable the village is right now. They need to know there’s no more danger.”
“Oh yeah, because the guy who saved us all is such a huge threat!”
Tsunade shot up, chair flying back and hitting the wall. “What the hell do you want me to do?!”
“To be fair,” Naruto said, holding her stare.
“If we were being fair, that Uchiha would have gotten a lifetime sentence.”
“He made a few mistakes.”
“He left the village, you know the penalty for that.”
“You left too,” Naruto countered.
Tsunade fisted her hand. “That was different.”
He shrugged. “Everyone has their own way of dealing with suffering. His was just a darker path.”
“There are rules,” Tsunade sighed, sitting back down. “If nobody followed them, I wouldn’t have put on the hat for this damn job.”
“Fine. I’ll follow the rules,” Naruto complied. “Call a council meeting.”
Tsunade gulped down a swig of sake. “Those grouches won’t listen to a word.”
“Really?” Naruto folded his arms. “Cuz I’ve been told I’m pretty convincing.”
Tsunade glared, ignoring the pulsing ache in her forehead. “Fine. I’ll call the damn meeting, now get out.”
Naruto grinned. “Thanks, granny.”
After a moment, she looked back up to see him still standing there. “What is it now?”
Naruto bit down on his lip, avoiding eye contact. “I… um, have one more request.”
—
Ino slouched over the counter of the flower shop, staring at the clock ticking the last few seconds till closing time. “Final—“
“Wait!” Someone barged in right as the clock struck six.
Ino groaned. “We’re clos—Naruto?”
Said boy dropped his hands to his knees, trying to catch his breath.
“I—need—to buy some flowers,” he said between mouthfuls of air.
Ino’s head perked up. “You? Need to buy flowers?”
“Uh, yeah.” Naruto exhaled deeply, standing up straight only to see the evil glint in Ino’s eyes. “Just… some flowers.”
The girl smirked, taking his hand and dragging him down the rows of blossoms. “What’s the occasion? What kind do you like? A basket, bouquet, or single? Do you have a color in mind?”
Naruto blinked, confused.
“Um… those are fine,” he said, pointing to a set of flowers behind Ino.
She shifted her gaze in that direction. “Orange blossoms?”
“Yeah, those are pretty,” Naruto said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“You sure? They’re generally used for weddings and symbolize fertility,” she said, winking.
“N-never mind!” Naruto stammered, feeling his face heating up. “Let’s keep looking.”
Ino giggled. “How about some roses?”
—
He ended up choosing the red and white roses, though Ino subtly avoided telling him what they represented when he asked.
“So,” Ino spoke while putting together the three bouquets, “Are these for a special someone?”
“N-no,” he sputtered, caught off guard by the question.
“Okay, then who’re these for?” she inquired.
“Myself…?” he replied.
“You’re buying flowers for yourself?”
“Yup, that’s right,” he said, laughing nervously.
Ino smiled impishly. “You know I don’t believe you, right?”
He set down the money and grabbed the flowers. “I’m just gonna take these…”
“I’m going to find out sooner or later!” she called out as he made his way towards the exit.
“I don’t doubt it,” he sighed, surrendering to this fate. Realizing a second later that the word would get out anyway, he paused, and then turned back around.
“You sell candles too by chance?”
— — —
Sasuke’s ears twitched when he heard the familiar shuffle of footsteps making their way down the prison staircase, a soft smile unconsciously forming on his face.
“You guys are dismissed for today, Hokage’s orders.”
Sasuke chuckled quietly to himself.
Usuratonkachi.
“We weren’t given any instructions to leave the premises,” the guard said.
“Here,” came the reply, and a rustling of papers. “You’re off-duty till noon tomorrow.”
Noon?
A few minutes later, he heard the guards march out of the room and the jingling of keys outside the gate to his prison cell.
“Dobe.”
“Sasuke,” Naruto whispered.
The wrapping around his head made him blind to his surroundings, but he could feel Naruto’s eyes fixed on him.
“Are you planning on standing there the whole night?” he teased.
The blonde didn’t take the bait, still frozen at the doorstep. Sasuke sighed.
“Usuratonkachi, if you’re going to look at me with pity, I will break out of this restraint and leave you as a gift for the rats.”
“You shouldn’t even be in here,” Naruto mumbled.
“I don’t have anywhere else to be.”
Naruto shifted forward. “Yes you do.”
“And where would that be?”
“With—“ Naruto stopped.
“With…?” Sasuke prompted.
“With a-all of us, in Konoha,” he finished.
Subtle.
“Well, I am in Konoha, am I not?”
“That’s not what I mean!” Naruto shouted.
Sasuke heaved out a sigh, leaning back against the cold rock wall. “Why don’t you tell me what’s in those bags you carried all the way down here.”
Naruto jolted in surprise. “N-nothing!”
Sasuke smirked, sensing the change in the blonde’s voice and relieved he was so easily distracted.
“Must be something if there are so many of them,” he said.
“Teme!” Naruto frowned. “You’re not supposed to be able to see anything!”
“I’m blind, not deaf,” he retorted. “The bags hit against your legs when you walk.”
“Tch,” the blonde scoffed. “It’s nothing for you.”
Sasuke smirked. “I never asked if it was for me. Usuratonkachi.”
“W-well, I was just letting you know!” Naruto quickly replied. “In case you got some weird idea that it was.”
Sasuke heard crinkling sounds while Naruto spoke, air hitting his face as the blonde whizzed passed him every so often. “You’re really not going to tell me what you brought, when it’s this obvious you did.”
“Can��t you fall asleep or something for just five minutes?” Naruto whined.
“Only if you answer my question,” Sasuke offered, knowing full well this was going to bring everything to a halt.
“As long as it’s not something dumb…” Naruto muttered, still running back and forth across the small space.
Sasuke had thought about this question every single day since they came back from the war. He had thought about his own response too; especially after he was locked up and didn’t have any better way to spend his days than in reflection of all the events that had taken place. But even more than his own, he craved to know Naruto’s answer.
“When,” he began, and then paused for a moment. He heard Naruto scrunching all the empty bags together and tossing them aside.
“When what, teme?”
Sasuke wished he could see Naruto’s face when he uttered this next set of words.
“When… did you know?”
Silence.
Sasuke waited. He was about to speak when he felt a hand on the back of his head, removing the strap covering his eyes, then gently unraveling the white strip constraining his vision. Slowly parting his lids, he let himself adjust to the light and focus on the face in front of him.
“Naruto,” he whispered.
Said boy dropped his head, eyes directed at the ground. He felt him shaking against his legs.
“Untie me,” Sasuke ordered.
Without raising his head, Naruto pulled out a kunai from side pocket and sliced through the straitjacket.
Cold air struck against Sasuke’s exposed skin. He pushed back the cloth, freeing his arm and grabbed Naruto by the chin, pulling it up to see the man he longed for since their exchange at the valley of the end.
“Naruto,” he said again, the feeling in his chest tightening from witnessing fresh tears on his face. He eased his hand up, caressing Naruto’s cheek and wiping away the tears with his thumb. “You don’t need to take on all my burdens.”
“If I chased after you for so many years, why the hell would I leave you alone now that you’re actually here,” Naruto said, jerking away from Sasuke’s touch and drying the waterworks with his sleeve. “Besides, when did I ever listen to you, stupid teme.”
Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s chin with a tighter grip, feeling the heat radiating off the blonde’s skin as he drew his face back to meet his own.
“I didn’t say you should leave me alone,” Sasuke spoke, leaning in. “I said you don’t need to take on every single one of my burdens.”
“I couldn’t stop even if I tried,” Naruto murmured, eyes locking with Sasuke’s.
And just like that, time stopped. Just for a moment, it was cool and quiet and serene—then the world exploded.
Sasuke’s lips smashed against Naruto’s the same time the blonde leaned in towards him. His fingers clutched those golden locks, pushing him closer. He felt Naruto’s warm hands smooth up his bare chest and slither around his neck, a shiver running up his spine. He moved roughly against the blonde, trying to learn every part of his face. It was a fight for love and dominance and it gave Sasuke energy he had never experienced before. They finally pulled apart, gasping for breath.
Sasuke finally got a chance to expand his attention to his surrounding for this brief recess, noticing several thick blankets piled over each other alongside the opposite wall with rose petals and burning candles scattered around them. He couldn’t help but smirk when he realized what Naruto had planned for the night.
“I didn’t know you were such a romantic, dobe.”
“Shut up, teme,” Naruto said, cheeks flaring as he dove back in for Sasuke’s lips.
—
It must have been hours that passed. Sasuke lost his sense of time sometime between their fierce battles for control. They somehow ended up on the layers of blankets, the heat from the candles and their ferocious lust-filled attacks making them sweat profusely.
Sasuke had laid down not only two minutes that Naruto rolled back over him. He was about to latch onto Sasuke’s mouth, but Sasuke pressed his palm against the tan chest, barring him from getting closer.
“You never answered my question,” he said.
Naruto looked down at him, confusion in his eyes for a short moment before the memory clicked into place.
“When did I know…?” Naruto slowly began.
Sasuke nodded once.
He could tell a million thoughts were running through Naruto’s head, his expression continuously changing while Sasuke observed him from beneath.
“Three years after you left,” Naruto spoke. “When I saw you for the first time.”
Sasuke’s eyes flickered, remembering the exact moment.
“At Orochimaru’s hideout—when you were about to kill me,” Naruto continued. “It was painful to see you have become this person… who was so consumed by the dark.”
If there was one thing Sasuke regretted, it was causing this pain to Naruto, but he was a thousand times more thankful to him for his persistency. He never let go.
“I understood you, your loss, your hardships, your suffering, and I couldn’t let you go through it alone… that was when I knew… that I felt something more,” Naruto concluded.
“Naruto…” Sasuke gently removed his hand from the blonde’s chest and circled it around to his backside, pushing him down onto his mouth for a soft kiss. A sense of comfort poured into his heart with those words. He felt at ease, realizing Naruto was both his friend and his family and he wouldn’t have asked for anything more.
“So,” Naruto started, lips unlocking from Sasuke’s. “I answered your question—it’s only fair you answer one of mine.”
Sasuke rolled his eyes, smiling. “I’ll answer all your questions, dobe.”
“Well… I only have one for now,” Naruto said, a new sparkle in those blue orbs.
“And what is that?” he said.
“What would you do once you got out?”
Sasuke paused. He didn’t think he would be released any time soon, and so hadn’t given much thought to this. Konoha wasn’t quite home for him anymore, but now he had a reason to stay.
“I suppose if I have the freedom to do as I wish, I’d travel outside this village—“ He stopped when he noticed Naruto’s face fall at hearing those words, reeling his thoughts back in and deciding to take a different approach.
“Though,” he continued, seeing Naruto’s eyes perk up again. “A travelling companion would be pleasant… as well as a home to return to. Why do you ask?”
Naruto beamed. “Because… you’re getting out tomorrow.”
“What?” Sasuke’s heart fluttered.
“Merry Christmas, teme.”
#sns-xmas#hope you like it#sns#sasunaru#narusasu#christmas#xmas#merrychristmas#merryxmas#naruto#sasuke#sasunarusasu#love#cute#OTP#my otp#anime#fanfic#fanfiction#drabble#secret santa#sns secret santa#alternate ending
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Thursday March 29, 2019
It’s Thursday! Despite my optimistic posts this past week, this week has seemed to really drag compared to the normal pace of my workweek. While nothing disastrous has happened this week, it’s just been one of those “why can’t anything go right for once” type of feelings (imagine me fighting broken printers, various trips to the housing office about my last month rent, a class revolution against an assessment that they thought was to difficult…it’s been a WEEEEEEEEEEEEK). I Just thinking about summer around the corner and spending time at the cottage with my best friends under the sun makes everything a little more bearable…not even to mention being able to hug everyone in my family for the first time in ten months.
I always remind my working friends back home that “Thursday” translates to FRIDAY for me here in Luxembourg. I can’t even begin to explain the beauty of a four-day workweek and a three-day weekend. Why isn’t this the case for everyone? I am slowly starting to accept that this will most-likely be the only time in my entire life that it will be this good. Sunny summers, however, will always be on my side as long as I’m a teacher…(-;
Just imagining myself next year working 40+ hours a week as a full-time middle school teacher makes me enjoy this feeling a little bit more. The freedom in my work schedule here has definitely made some of the challenges of living abroad a little more bearable. I’m definitely not a lazy person, and I feel excited when I think of my life teaching middle school French next year and taking on new roles back home. I am feeling really prepared and optimistic about the start of this new chapter. The fact that I have a great job waiting for me back home is making me much more content about leaving Europe in June to move back home.
Getting a good teaching job for next year…CHECK. The next thing on my “why-can’t-I-sleep list” is my masters degree. Since finishing my undergrad, I knew that I wanted to start to teach right away and worry about my masters later (hence my 4,000 mile move to Europe…LOL…that’s how done I was with school last may!). Unfortunately, the “later” part of my decision has now surfaced. After months of research and advisement from friends and colleagues, I now have my eyes on an online MA in Romance Language and Literature program. It’s a fully-online program via the University of New Orleans, and one of the most common online masters programs for teachers across the country. One thing that’s really important to me about my masters program is finding something that will allow me to teach as an adjunct professor in the future (a cool side-gig for a public school teacher, don’t you think? Some of my favorite professors at college were full-time Spanish/French teachers who taught at the uni for some extra $$ once or twice a week).
I also need a program that I can complete at my own pace over the next couple of summers and during the school year while teaching full-time. As I look at the course offerings, I’d be able to complete the program by Fall 2021 and sit the masters exam before Christmas that year. I have until August 2023 to get my masters program to keep my New York State Teaching Certification, so this program allows me to have an extra little window of study time/alternative courses before I sit the MA exam and fulfill the NYS deadline. This helps me sleep at night!
This masters program, with an emphasis on literature, civilization, and linguistics, would make me eligible to apply for adjunct teaching at a college or uni down the road. Classes like “Contemporary French Society and Institutions” “Prostitution in 19th Century French Literature” and “Problems of Grammatical Analysis” are all that I ever imagined of my masters program. While I’m waiting back to hear from the University, I’m anxiously looking at a couple of good classes that start online this summer (June 3). It would be awesome to start online this summer and get some graduate credits under my belt (not to mention some extra $$ my first couple of paychecks in September, as each credit earned towards your masters in New York state earns you a certain amount of raise in pay). You could definitely say “big things are happening” on my graduate studies search. I should be receiving my acceptance results any day now...
Today has just been “one of those days.” I wasted about 45 minutes of my morning here trying to figure out why my computer wouldn’t connect to wifi. Apparently when you change your university email account password, that changes your wifi settings as well. Very strange. Really wish I knew that ahead of time before I wasted half of my planning period. One thing that I’m not going to miss about Europe is the apparent fail of technology EVERYWHERE.
I remember this being a thing in Montpellier as well…you’re connected to the wifi less than 70% of the time, printers are more often out-of-service than not, and sometimes your lifeline even breaks! When I say lifeline, I’m talking about the university and school coffee machines. This morning, the coffee machine at school was out-of-service for the first three lessons today. In case you can’t tell by my rambling, it has since been back-in-action and I’m on my third cup to catch-up for my missed morning ritual at 7:30am here today.
I’m currently typing this in the teachers room at the lycée. Since teachers don’t have their own classrooms in Luxembourg, the teachers lounge is where all the coffee drinking, gossip, and camaraderie takes place over here. There’s currently two fifty-something year old teachers sitting across from me by the window, and I’m pretty sure they’re talking in Luxembourgish about how fast I type. I just looked up and smiled at them, and they nervously smiled back before changing the subject of their conversation. Amazing what you can understand from tone and hearing an occasional French word thrown in there...
I have some teacher friends other than my English teacher colleagues, but I think most of the teachers here don’t realize that I speak French. They typically avoid conversation with me. Once a week, there are still moments where people approach me in Luxembourgish. When this wonderful linguistic exchange happens, I freeze, turn white, and ask them if they “speak French” in French. Sometimes it sparks new conversations and friendships, and other times they walk away thinking I’m “not playing with a full deck of cards” (as my mom would say)! You just can’t win them all!
Noon has already rolled by, and Taylor will be home for her equally-as-sunny three day weekend today at around 1:30. We’re planning on “cooking” some cheap lunches today together. I think she mentioned this morning that she had part of a sandwich leftover from lunch yesterday. Thinking about what I have it home, I think my gourmet meal will be two eggs over-easy and a spinach shake. Yum. You can tell I love grocery shopping almost as much as cooking. When I think about my mom’s cooking, I begin to salivate. I can’t even decide what I want first...
Tomorrow the weather forecast predicts a high of 67 and sun all day. Tay and I plan to go into the city for a nutritions American lunch of Pizza Hut, and will spend the day in the city visiting our favorite French bookstore and walking around the infamous guind.
I’m currently sitting here with my sunglasses on my head and ready to go when I leave, so if that isn’t a little surprise on the first day of spring, I’m not quite sure what is! As we say in Luxembourgish, Äddi for now!
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Stages of a Breakup: Week 50
1. Uber home from Sam’s house for 8 dollars
2. Get a gay black man named Dwayne who you bond with over Will Downing who tells you about the old Mardi Gras traditions he had growing up in the Tremé
3. It’s Lundi Gras!
4. Unpack the 2 containers of meatballs and red sauce and polenta that have leaked/exploded
5. Eat a pastry that was loose in there
6. It’s still good
7. Successfully connect to wifi on not 1 but 2 devices with no help!!!!
8. Try to make plans for today/tonight but everyone is asleep
9. Start the movie “Jack,” a 1996 Robin Williams movie also with Diane Lane where he is born 10?
10. Everyone responds to your texts at once
11. Quick take a shower/get dressed
12. Uber to Molly’s to go to Red Beans (parade)
13. She is still getting ready
14. Wait there
15. Try on a blonde wig and 2 turbans
16. These are not your looks
17. Your friend Mary-Devon meets you guys
18. Try to catch the parade
19. Catch it!
20. Wait in line for a bathroom
21. Run into some people
22. Eat some 7$ gumbo Molly gets
23. Get a free piece of chicken
24. Run into your friend Claire!!!
25. Hang out
26. Get too high
27. Think you lost Molly for an hour when really she’s only been on the phone 13 minutes
28. Go back to Kate’s house with Molly
29. She and Kate craft
30. You want to craft but none of your stuff is here
31. Make a weird headband/headpiece out of scraps they both have
32. It’s pretty bad
33. Watch 3 episodes of America’s Next Top Model and drink a lot of vodka with Triple Sec and grapefruit juice
34. You guys Uber Eats 60 dollars worth of sushi that still isn’t enough
35. Eat
36. Decide to go to this Krewe de Selena dance party at Allways Lounge
37. Rally
38. Kate and Molly get dressed
39. You stay as you are
40. Uber there
41. Go to the dance party
42. The bar is cash only
43. And the ATM is broken
44. Go to Kajun’s
45. Get drinks and money
46. Hang for a while
47. Run into a girl you have complicated feelings about
48. She touches you too aggressively which always happens
49. See this couple you met 4 years ago when he moved her down and they broke up but now they’re back together and he moved here to be with her
50. Leave
51. Run into Rachel and her bff Hallie who is visiting from Portland
52. Go back to Kajun’s because they need $ as well
53. Get a double whiskey sour
54. Hang
55. Go back
56. The performances have started
57. See a 17 year old rapper
58. You know that because all of his songs mention that he is 17 and still in school
59. He is amazing (Maja?)
60. The next performance is some amazing men twerking and one of the best dancers you have ever seen in your whole life
61. Somehow without realizing it you have moved from the back to the second row and are dancinggg
62. See your friend Mariama!!!!!!!!!!
63. You love her
64. It’s so nice to see people you know and love!
65. Leave at 2:00am
66. Take an Uber that’s TWENTY-SEVEN DOLLARS because surge pricing for Mardi gras
67. This is usually like an 11 dollar ride for context/rage
68. Your Uber driver is an adult man named Kevin who tells you he isn’t driving Uber for the money (which apparently he “doesn’t need”) but to meet a girlfriend
69. You stop talking to him but are enraged at how cavalier/misogynistic he is being, and how it clearly doesn’t even occur to him how that’s a terrifying this to say to a woman he’s alone with, driving, at night, to her fucking house
70. Angry tweet about it
71. Say nothing
72. Get home
73. Take a shower and try to wash all your makeup off, unsuccessfully
74. Sleep for 4 hours
75. MARDI GRAS!!!!!!
76. Your alarm goes off to meet Molly at Kate’s to go with her but you don’t want to do that
77. Hang out with Erica who’s awake
78. Eat meatballs & polenta
79. Talk
80. It’s so nice you haven’t gotten to hang out with her that much and it’s really nice to catch up
81. Do your makeup together
82. Drink champagne
83. A guy gets back to you about a potential room in NY for March and you arrange to get in touch when you get back after you explain that it’s Mardi Gras and you’re going to be drunk very soon
84. She has so much good glitter
85. Ride with her and Joe
86. Get a 6 pack at a corner store
87. Walk to Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shoppe (oldest running bar in the continental US)
88. Get a “purple drink” that’s deceivingly strong
89. Walk to meet people
90. See so many costumes
91. Drink
92. See Erica’s drunk friend and her kids one of whom is a sleeping baby, the other of whom is miserable and 3 today
93. Bounce back and forth between R Bar & Mimi’s areas
94. Go to Grace’s house with Molly & Sam
95. Watch some of Sam’s porn’s
96. They are good
97. Drink more
98. Eat a sandwich
99. Mardi Gras!
100. Run into more people
101. Take pictures
102. Eat king cake
103. More people
104. Use the bathroom at your friend Lindsey’s house
105. Watch and cry to the video for Ke$ha’s “Praying”
106. Whiskey
107. Walk more
108. So much bouncing around all over
109. You’re trying to avoid your ex-boyfriend and his gf because they are out together
110. Go to Granpre’s (bar) to meet people
111. Get drinks
112. Take a boomerang of some strangers pretending to take a shot
113. Walk into the Quarter again
114. Feel angry because your friends did drugs and are being by themselves and you miss them and feel outside and it’s frustrating
115. Frustrated Cry to Molly
116. Find Rachel
117. Sad Cry to her
118. Feel heard
119. Decide to go to Lost Love Lounge by yourself because comics/friends will be there even though your ex-bf might be there
120. Go
121. See people
122. Not him
123. He’s not there
124. A guy cries to you that he didn’t give you enough credit for the things you were right about when you were here and your leaving has left a hole and people “needed you”
125. Which is very nice
126. Uber back with Geoff & MD
127. Hang for a little while
128. Get the key to their house, where moving to tomorrow
129. MD gets you an Uber since your phone keeps closing out of all its’ apps which is fun and not terrible or frustrating at all
130. Shower
131. Makeup remover
132. Realize how sunburned you are from an entire day spent walking outside in the sun
133. Could be worse
134. Try to watch Jack more
135. Are too tired
136. Sleep
137. Wake up at 8:42am
138. Erica is awake!!!
139. Lie on the couch with her
140. Watch This Is the End
141. Get Chinese food
142. Think about getting vegetables, don’t
143. It’s Valentine’s Day!
144. Watch a documentary about a rich British man who murderd his girlfriend then his mom tried to cover it up for him
145. Watch Some Like It Hot
146. Wish for aloe
147. Check your ex-boyfriend’s new gf’s social media
148. Huge mistake
149. You dumb idiot
150. Block her on Instagram
151. And facebook
152. Talk to Erica
153. Realize through her wisdom you can’t do this to yourself
154. Block him on Facebook
155. Feel good and in control
156. It’s ok however long it’s taking you to process this and you shouldn’t judge yourself for
157. Have Erica get you an Uber
158. Do makeup and pack in 16 minutes
159. Get to Mary-Devon and Geoff’s house
160. Drop off your things
161. Go to Carrollton Station for the mic
162. See people
163. It’s nice
164. Your ex-bf comes
165. His gf isn’t there
166. Glad to see they’re spending their first Valentine’s Day evening apart
167. She’s probably working and they’ll have sex later
168. You can’t check anything now
169. Which is good
170. Go up pretty early
171. Buy a million drinks
172. Your tab is 36 dollars in a place where drinks are 2 dollars
173. Get a little drunk
174. Smoke some weed
175. Ignore your ex-bf & don’t say one word to him
176. Watch his set where he talks about dating a “Catholic woman”
177. It’s gross to you
178. He looks good though
179. But who cares!!!!!!!!
180. Eat 2 hot dogs at the bar
181. Leave
182. Come home with Geoff & MD
183. Eat a chicken taco
184. Put your leftovers in the refrigerator you forgot to earlier
185. Fall asleep while sitting up
186. Walk to the guest bedroom
187. Spend Valentine’s Day sleeping on the bed you had sex with your ex-boyfriend on the last night (and morning!) you were in New Orleans
188. Seems tragically & poetically right
189. It’s ok though
190. Lol it also has the sleeping bag on it that was your ex-bf’s dog bed at your old house
191. You never got to see him (the dog) and now you leave in 2 days and you probably won’t
192. He is a sweet baby angel and you hope you will see him another time
193. Wake up at 5:15am for some reason
194. Some of your eyeliner has migrated to different places
195. Stay on your phone for 2 hours
196. Go back to sleep?
197. Try to text people to go to lunch with you at The Turkey and the Wolf
198. Everyone has a job
199. Mary-Devon comes home!!!
200. She has time and wants to go to lunch with you!!!!
201. Smoke weed
202. Their slogan is “Get high and come by” so really you’re just following orders
203. Drive there
204. It’s 19 minutes away
205. You’re high
206. Order the most beautiful food of:
207. Fried bologna sandwich
208. Fried pot pie (Like a savory turnover)
209. Roasted garlic eggplant dip with dill & cucumbers & roti
210. A drink with tequila, spice & almond milk called
“Nothing Goes According to Plan”
211. Mary-Devon gets a different equally beautiful drink called “My Mom Blacks Out Better Than Yours” which is a great name
212. Wait for what felt like a million years for the food to come
213. IT COMES
214. It’s perfect
215. The fried pot pie thing is one of the best most perfect things you have ever eaten
216. Go home
217. Listen to some of Under the Blacklight, this breakup album by Rilo Kiley you listened to a lot abroad before you were ever in a relationship
218. It has a different meaning to you now!!!!!
219. You’re excited to rediscover that
220. Remember that a long time ago your ex-boyfriend tweeted how wonderful it was falling out of love and your (you thought) mutual friend sent him a link to one of these songs
221. Annoyed that even this can’t be all the way free of him
222. Oh well, it will be one day
223. Still high
224. Take some leftovers even though you could have just pushed through and ate it but then you would have been uncomfortably full and you’re proud of yourself you didn’t
225. Get home
226. Lie down and watch The Office with Fred the cat
227. Take a shower without conditioner
228. Put aloe on!
229. Watch The Office for many hours
230. Eat your fried bologna leftovers
231. Think about getting ready for this mic before the show
232. Ubering everywhere costs so much money
233. Order an Uber on your laptop because your phone is a piece of shit
234. Get there
235. Go up
236. Do well
237. Meet a comic who’s on the next show you’re on
238. Hitch a ride with him
239. Get to Sidney’s
240. Mary-Devon told you sometimes there is a man who sells pulled pork in waffle cones outside the show
241. Look for him
242. He is not there
243. Lots of people you know are there!!
244. Hang
245. Get your clothes for Mardi Gras from your friend Jade lolol
246. Do your set
247. It’s very fun
248. You miss being able to do comedy for longer than 2 minutes
249. Eat free strawberry ice cream
250. Get 25 dollars!!!
251. Convince Geoff (who’s driving you back to his house) to go to Hank’s
252. Spend TWELVE DOLLARS on fried food
253. Which doesn’t sound insane but fried fish is 2 pieces for 1.50, so it is
254. Eat some chicken strips and a corn dog with your friends
255. Go home
256. You’re drunk
257. Look at Geoff’s senior yearbook and see pictures of him and everyone’s quotes
258. Find your ex-boyfriend’s old roommate
259. Want to send the picture to your ex-boyfriend because it’s truly a hilarious gem
260. But you don’t !!!!
261. Progress bitch
262. Watch some of The Office
263. Pass out
264. Wake up like 5 different times because you can hear MD’s alarm for work
265. Go back to sleep
266. Sort of have a group text with your friends Molly & Gabe you keep falling asleep during
267. Wake up when your friend Wyshonda calls you
268. She’s near and can come get you to hang out!
269. Quick go to check in/print your boarding pass
270. Find out your flight is at 7:45pm not 9:00pm like you thought?
271. Call Rachel see if she can still take you to the airport
272. She can
273. Get dressed
274. Wyshonda comes
275. Get sushi from the grocery store
276. And so many free samples
277. Think about getting a king cake to take back, decide against it
278. Go park and eat in her car which reminds you of high school
279. She tells you all about her trip to Cuba which sounds amazing
280. Catch up in general
281. She drives you to this cool abandoned house that is covered in graffiti
282. She takes some pictures of you! (She is a photographer)
283. You look at them and don’t like your body but accept that that’s ok
284. Hang out for a while longer
285. She drops you back home
286. Think about packing
287. Think about drinking
288. Watch The Office
289. Take a shower
290. Eat cold fried fish and chicken and one meat pie
291. Finally start doing stuff
292. Ask MD if she wants the white wine you have left in a baby bottle, then drink it yourself when she asks, “Why don’t you just drink it now?”
293. Pack everything
294. MD takes you to Rachel’s
295. You guys listen to songs with the word “blood” in the title for some reason
296. Hug her and say goodbye
297. Rachel takes you to the airport
298. You guys talk for a little bit at the terminal, it’s good and you love her
299. Go to your plane
300. Look for daiquiris
301. Text your friend Laura who flies for a living if they’re anywhere near
302. They don’t sell them at this terminal
303. They do have a smoothie king though
304. Get one (Berry Punch)
305. Get two Bacardi white rum’s on the plane
306. You made your own!!!!
307. The plane is half empty so you get to go from being cramped in a middle seat to having your own whole row
308. One of the flight attendants is hot
309. Not hot enough to make you sign up for a credit card though
310. Write in your journal
311. Masturbate
312. Yes on the plane
313. No one’s there it’s fine
314. Try to sleep
315. The plane is landing
316. You land in Newark, NJ even though you live in Brooklyn, NY because it is cheaper
317. Take a bus
318. Meet a Norwegian woman and her daughter
319. Help them get where they’re going
320. She gives you a bar of Norwegian chocolate
321. You give her glass beads Mardi Gras beads
322. But then you feel terrible because you tell them to get off one stop too late ☹ ☹ but they’ll figure it out
323. But you still feel terrible
324. Take the train
325. See a woman that you can’t tell if she’s being harassed or not
326. Go up and ask her if she’s alright
327. She sort of is blank
328. Ask if she knows him and wants to talk to him
329. She says no
330. He starts yelling at you, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH A BLACK MAN TALKING TO A BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMAN?”
331. He is kind of slurring his words a little and it makes you uneasy
332. Your train comes
333. You both get on the train, you get in a different car than her in case he follows you
334. He does
335. He keeps yelling at you
336. You close your eyes and do your best to ignore him
337. It goes on
338. Change cars at the next stop
339. Luckily he doesn’t follow
340. Take the train forever
341. Finally get home
342. You have three exciting pieces of mail
343. A save the date for a wedding you’re not sure you’ll go to that’s in a literal castle
344. A nice note from your mom
345. Your moviepass card!!!!!
346. Check to see when you have work tomorrow
347. Not til 3:00pm baby!!!!!
348. Feel good in this place
349. And happy to be here
350. Know for the first time that this is your home now
351. Check your messages
352. Your friend Wyshonda sent you three pictures!
353. They are phenom & you love them
354. Decide to post tomorrow
355. Wake up an hour before your alarm
356. Think about sleeping more or doing something productive
357. Waste the hour scrolling through your phone
358. Post the pictures Wyshonda took
359. Message 2 people about seeing rooms for March
360. Eat some old vegetables, chocolate & granola for breakfast
361. Waste time
362. Wait for a train for 20 minutes because you had to buy a new Metrocard
363. Only get to work out for 30 minutes
364. It’s a good 30 min though
365. Work
366. You’re a “floater”
367. Which kind of sucks
368. But there’s free pizza
369. Have 2 pieces
370. Make 93 dollars
371. Solve a problem
372. NEW free pizza!
373. Have 3 pieces
374. Walk home in SLUSH because it SNOWED
375. Yesterday you were wearing a sundress in New Orleans and now you’re mad you don’t have snowboots
376. Feel the most tired
377. Home
378. Facebook
379. Not enough sleep
380. Wake up to go to the gym
381. Stop in a Modell’s Sporting Goods to see if they have sneakers because you DESPERATELY need some new ones
382. They have a smallish selection and you don’t really love any of them
383. Convince yourself to get cool thin sneakers because you are momentarily swayed by the world
384. Spend 59.84 bc you signed up for a rewards card to get 10% off
385. Go to the gym
386. Work out in them
387. THEY FEEL TERRIBLE AND YOUR FEET STILL HURT MAYBE MORE THAN BEFORE AND YOU HATE THEM YOU JUST WANT CHUNKY LAME SEARS SNEAKERS BUT YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIND SUBURBAN STORES IN NEW YORK
388. Text your friends Molly and Gabe
389. They say return them
390. Look up DSW, see that there’s one very close to you
391. Go back to the store not even an hour later
392. Return them
393. The salespeople are kind
394. Train to work
395. There was a fire on the track so there are delayssssssss
396. Wait for so long and get stressed about being late to work
397. Read more of your book “Bad Haircut” by Tom Perrotta
398. It’s good writing but the perspective isn’t something you can all the way latch onto
399. You’re late to work
400. You have many groups
401. Lose your voice very badly
402. Drink 3-4 cups of Sleepytime tea at work because it’s the only kind of tea they have left
403. Make 208 dollars in tips!!!!!!
404. Bond with your coworkers, they are mostly really cool
405. Think about making out with one of them
406. Home
407. Watch Eddie Izzard’s Dress to Kill special that you first watched at a friend’s house when you were in 5th grade
408. It’s SO good
409. He is a genius and so funny and this special is ridiculously good
410. Eat 2 pieces of Papa John’s pizza and an entire sleeve (except for like 6) of Club crackers
411. Watch Fergie sing the Jazz National Anthem at the NBA All Stars game
412. It’s breathtakingly terrible in a way only art can be
413. Floss
414. You’re seeing a room tomorrow that you really hope works out!!!!
415. And you hope you have your voice back by then otherwise it’ll be weird!!!
416. Drink water
417. Try to sleep
418. Eventually succeed
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storytime_1.txt
So... I travel frequently, and...
In Q4 2015 I lived in Switzerland as part of a study abroad program for uni. Before that, I’d lived in Germany for all of high school and then some, so it wasn’t my first time in Europe by any means. Honestly, I was happy to be back.
The program consisted of a bunch of upperclassmen architecture and underclassmen business students (an excellent dichotomy) mostly living under one roof, with classes taking place during the weekdays. We had free reign on the weekends, and most people traveled then, because... why wouldn’t you lol.
Anyway, there were two mandatory traveling periods during the semester, when home base would close for holiday and we were required to take the week to just travel. I planned a trip to London for one of these about a month in advance-- booked the flight, the BnB... everything (the planning was especially important because I was pretty strapped for cash-- Switzerland is expensive). I’d been to London once before and it was the shittiest family vacation on record for just about every reason imaginable, so I was hoping to revise my opinion of the city by going alone.
My itinerary was simple enough: (1) take train(s) to MXP, the closest airport, (2) take Easyjet flight to LGW, (3) catch train to East Croydon, (4) take cab to BnB, (5) chill for the week. It should have been smooth sailing, but alas...
It’s important to begin by mentioning that due to some miscommunication, I missed one of our studio trips to an important building (Mario Botta’s Chapel in Mogno) during a previous weekend. I decided I’d visit it myself on the same day I was to fly out to London by way of an all-day travel pass-- an adventure which began at 4:30 AM. I biked to the station for the earliest train of the day, took two connections to Locarno, and then two bus connections to Mogno, which is a pretty small Swiss mountain village. The entire trip-- one way-- took about four hours and I only had two hours to study the building before I had to make my way back, again, and though it went smoothly, it was exhausting. Honestly, even with the tight schedule, this was probably one of my most enjoyable solo travel experiences during the program. I managed to make it back in time for lunch and afternoon studio, with about four hours left til I needed to head to the airport.
SO
(1) Earlier in the semester, our local program manager warned us about the unreliability of the Italian train schedules, so I booked my tickets/connections far, far in advance with an extra four hours of wiggle room in case of the aforementioned fuck-ups.
After studio was over I began by journey to MXP by way of the train system. I had three connections: one at the border, another at a major station near Milan, and the third at a small town outside the airport. The last train was to bring me directly into the terminal.
First leg went well, but when I got to the border station there was no clear signage to indicate which train was going where and I had to ask an attendant, who loosely pointed me in the right direction. After some guessing I got on the right one and we left on time, but... for some reason, arrived late. I had all of two minutes to get to my next train, which was parked on the platform on the complete opposite side of the station. I missed it by about five seconds, and was forced to wait for the next one, which was coming in an hour.
I wasn’t terribly worried, time-wise; after this delay, I still had three hours to spare. When the next train did arrive, all I had to worry about was being caught without a valid ticket (not sure if my ticket covered missed trains), since I didn’t have the money to pay for a fine. Thankfully, I wasn’t checked, and I got off at the next stop.
Unfortunately... after checking time tables, I realized that I had missed the last connection due to the delay at the previous stop, and that that was the last train of its kind for the day. I had a moment of panic, but there was a news stand at which I could buy a pretty cheap bus ticket that went to the airport. The bus, however, hadn’t arrived yet, and once it was parked, would leave in an hour... which left me with less and less time to spare.
As I was sitting on the bus, waiting for it to leave, I really started to panic-- what if I missed my flight? I didn’t have the money to stay at a hotel; since home base was closed for holiday, I couldn’t even go back if I wanted to. Where would I go? How would I tell my BnB host that I wasn’t coming? How would I tell my parents that I had wasted so much money?
(Most domestic phone plans don’t work internationally and it costs an arm and a leg to get service abroad; for most of this program, I was without a functioning phone, limited to WiFi use alone.) When we finally left the station, there must have only been forty-five minutes left. We got to the airport with about ten minutes left before departure... I was panicking so hard that I got off at the wrong terminal, which pretty much cemented by gloom and doom (enter stress tears).
In addition, the way to Terminal 2 is not walkable, so I had to either fork over twenty Euros for an instant three-minute cab drive there (which I didn’t have) or wait for the free shuttle to come in ten minutes (which I also didn’t have). In ended up waiting for the shuttle, and by then I was bawling my eyes out, feeling totally stupid and angry and overall helpless. The prospect of spending an entire week in limbo, alone, at MXP was just so unbe-fucking-lievable I couldn’t stand it. But I walked into the terminal anyway to look at the flight status board with that weird, hollow feeling that leads you to expect things can only get worse.
Something else I should mention is that a group of four of my colleagues were supposed to be on the same flight-- including one of my closer studio friends-- and that MXP had free WiFi (for once) that I could use to contact them via FB. The terminal was pretty much empty-- I had a bag to check in, but nobody was there to take it-- and I pretty much messaged them in my meltdown telling them I was fucked. BUT, to my surprise, I got a swift response that went something along the lines of ‘OMG no! The plane hasn’t even arrived yet-- you can still make it! Just go through security with your bag!’ There was no way in hell I was going to contest that and I didn’t have time to worry about bringing a small luggage through security, so I followed her advice and just went. They didn’t question it, funnily enough, and I sprinted the whole way to passport check and finally, the gate, where I saw my colleagues and the immense line of people waiting to board. JESUS FUCK
(2) Thank God EasyJet has a rep for delays. The attendant took my bag as we were scanning in and I settled in for the flight, which took off an hour later than it should have. Flight was normal, everything I expected, until descent-- when a Muslim family a few rows ahead of me were having problems with their kid. I’m assuming he was getting sick, because several times the father got up to escort him to the back of the plane-- even after the captain had turned on the seat-belt sign. The second time they went they didn’t come out, and everyone could hear the flight attendants bugging them to get back to their seats. It got to the point where we performed a go-around/missed approach and the captain got on the PA to deliver some curt words...
By the time our second descent had begun, the boy and his father still hadn’t gotten out and everyone thought we were gonna perform another missed approached... but we landed, and shortly after touching down they finally went back to their seats. However, nobody was allowed to leave the plane when we pulled up to the gate because ‘the captain had called the cops’ (he announced this). So we were delayed further-- at this point, it was around 11, with the time change (-1 hour).
(For the record, I was 100% convinced this was, in some part, profiling... were the cops really necessary...? Did they have to be escorted out like criminals? And even more damning, why all those passive-aggressive PA announcements? Some people cheered when the family was escorted off... lmao would you just have let your kid vomit or shit all over the seat, didn’t think so.)
(3) It was around 11:30 when we were allowed to leave. Customs took another hour, and I high-tailed it to the station hoping to get a ticket for the next train to East Croyden. Because I’m clearly blessed with the luckiest streak in the world, I had missed the last one by about fifteen minutes and would have to wait for the next one at 2:15 AM or so. Most of the hard stuff was out of the way though and now I was just freaking out about having to wake up my BnB host in the middle of the night to let me in, since I had no other way to contact her.
The ride was another forty-five minutes, so I got to Croyden around 3.
(4) The cab drive was straightforward, and I was dropped me off in the BnB housing area. Unfortunately, it was a flat complex, with sheltered/secured stairways and no numbers to indicate which doors led where. I effectively walked around in the dark for another twenty minutes searching for the right building, and it was probably closer to 4 by the time I found it and rang. I was super nervous all over again, but it turns out my host was awake, and I was let in.
My day had started more than 24 hours ago. I was so fucking exhausted and so frustrated and agh I just went to bed and crashed.
TL;DR: Italian trains are garbage, keep lots of cash handy for emergencies. Also, buy an international phone plan when you’re alone and abroad for longer than a goddamn week, it’ll be worth the money.
#nobody asked but i felt like it#traveling#italy#switzerland#london#easyjet#storytime motherfucker#storytime
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Well, today was kind of blah, mostly because I'm still in the same shitty mood from yesterday. And now that I'm back here even though I have a handle on most of my things I still feel ridiculously stressed out and can't stop my mind from racing and I could really use some fucking Xanax right now (I only say that because I'm awaiting my prescription for it from the company, I don't normally throw around comments like that). Ugh. But anyway. My alarm went off at 9:45 and I got up, got my things together and got ready, then ate some breakfast and my dad took me to the airport. I made it through all my goodbyes okay, despite having the feeling in my chest that tears were lurking right below the surface, waiting to be set off at the smallest trigger, but it somehow subsided and I was okay. The airport is small, so I made it through security and to the gate in no time. The first flight was fine, nothing spectacular. I mostly worked on my appellate brief, fixing citations and breaking up sentences (because I have a habit of making 4 line sentences, grammatically proper but I know my prof won't appreciate it) and just generally trying to get my word count up. We landed in Baltimore pretty soon and my next flight was in an hour, with the gate pretty close by to where I was. So I grabbed some sushi that looked appetizing from one of the places then sat at the gate and took advantage of the free wifi I finally managed to hack into without actually paying (it's not actual hacking, it's just knowing how to navigate the system). And with that wifi I looked up and downloaded the rest of the cases mentioned in the trial court fake opinion so I could use them for the second section of my paper. Flight boarded soon, and when we were in the air I started reading cases and working on them, and made a solid amount of progress. Landed after not too long, took for-fucking-ever for our bags to come, and then my uber app flipped out on me and kept saying my request wouldn't go through so I'm like fine whatever I'll use Lyft, so I do and the driver gets there a lot quicker than they usually do since the airport makes them wait in a special lot until they get a pick up. So I get in the car and we started chatting, apparently they had been leaving the airport after another pick up planning on going home but had their app on to see if they'd get anything going north towards where they lives and they got me haha so they turned around and so we went. And then I get a notification saying my uber driver was arriving now and I'm like ????? I bring up the app and it doesn't even have a trip going, so I'm like wtf....and then a few minutes later the poor guy calls wanting to know where I am and I'm just like....I didn't order an uber?? Haha it was strange. But my driver and I established pretty early on that we're both tumblr people, so that kind of set the level of understanding of each other for the rest of the conversation haha. So we talked about a lot of things, they talked about figuring out that they were non-binary and picking a new name, and of course we eventually got into religion and it's social effects and I was happy to hear that they were still actually a Christian even after having grown up in a crappy conservative Christian environment and dealing with all that shit. So they were telling me how much they love their church and I in turn told them how much I love my church, and yeah, it was nice. Got home soon enough, and as expected my white canary boots had arrived, so I had to try on my whole costume to make sure they work of course, haha (I'll post a photo when I'm down here). They fit, thankfully, and they match the costume pretty well- they're a little darker than the actual suit, but the jacket is a darker gray so with them together they just look awesome, so I'm very happy about that. So I settled in and started catching up on my tv shows, which I'll try to comment on if I can remember what I watched, lol. But I kept working on my appellate brief until I had about 4700 words (out of the maximum 5000). I had one more case I was gonna cover but the opinion was so confusing and its relevance to our case really tenuous, so I said ah screw it and called it there. Hopefully I can make up the last 300 or so words in final edits and adding transitory and other necessary things. I'm not worried though, which is good. I've said this a million times before, and I fucking hate it so much, but every single time I have to write something I get scared I won't be able to write as much as needed, even though I pretty much always exceed the word count and being too short is almost never an issue, and while knowing this, I still think it, and 5000 words was looming over me this whole week as some unattainable goal, so now that I'm a lot closer to it I'm feeling better about it. So yeah, tv. I initially picked out my recording of powerless, only to find out the dvr had actually recorded the premiere of trial and error. Okay, well I wanted to watch this anyway, so I might as well keep watching, and holy Jesus this show is amazing haha I already love it so much, although I know the legal inaccuracies are gonna kill me even when I'm telling myself it's a comedy ffs (but in the episode they were pulling shit like "oh homosexuality as a crime was never repealed here" and I'm like uh bullshit Lawrence v. Texas much???? Lol). But I enjoyed that a lot. I think I went to Designated Survivor next, which was a thoroughly epic episode, fairly major spoilers ahead (you've been warned) but ahhh I can't believe just like that MacLeish is dead??? The Vice President is dead?? And how that's just gonna look so much worse for president Kirkman and not just that MacLeish was a dirty traitor....ugh. I was glad to at least see my girl Hannah FINALLY getting vindicated cuz I was like ahh yes you go girl cuz I've hardcore been pulling for her this whole time, lol, so that was cool. But yeah, really intense and awesome episode, I liked it a lot. Riverdale next I think, and holy shit that episode was so sad???? Like dang man, Jughead's life is really fucking depressing. I was of course calling major bs when the sheriff supposedly took him in on literally no evidence and then had his school record because that's not fucking illegal or anything?????? Ugh. I'm glad he's at least living with Archie now though. Veronica continues to be awesome, and with the whole Betty and Polly situation I was thinking the whole time yo do not trust the Blossoms they evil AF so of course I was right there. Good episode though. Then I started last week's episode of Time After Time, which I managed to start in time to finish right before this week's episode started without actually meaning to at all haha so I watched the two episodes back to back. Continues to be an intriguing show, I think it's still finding its footing a bit, but the twists have been very interesting so far. I'm not sure how sustainable it is in the long run, like I'm not sure I can see it going more than one season really, which is unfortunate because it's clever, the plot just doesn't really allow for it. They also love killing people off haha I guess that's what happens when you have a show featuring Jack the Ripper. HG Wells continues to be an gem ("he came over right after world war 2" ".....there was more than 1???????") and the rest of cast does well too. So when that was over I knew I had just missed the live episode of Chicago justice, but I didn't really have much else to watch at this point so I watched the second episode. It wasn't bad, annoyed me less than the first, though that's likely just because they spent less time in the courtroom, lol. They're not quite mastering the time jump thing yet, where they go from crime to investigation to trial in one episode, without any real inference to time passing, which makes it feel like it all happened over like 3 days, which isn't just unrealistic, it's confusing, because they're like "oh who are we gonna bring to the grand jury?" and then the next scene is "the grand jury returned an indictment!" and you're just like da fuck?? Lol. The episode itself was interesting though, I wish they tied in their twist a little sooner, it seemed like too much of an afterthought with the entire plot they had come up with, but it was a well-thought out and well-played twist for sure. It kind of annoyed me that through the entire episode everyone was like "oh you know any cop who gets put on trial is gonna be found guilty" when that's pretty much categorically false, as cops are almost never convicted for officer involved behavior?? Lol, like I get that they're connected to Chicago PD or whatever but they gotta get that down a bit better. And yeah, when that was over I let the news play for a bit while I finished up the queue for the week on the company tumblr. Throughout the night I also wrote my "speech" (it's like a paragraph and a half) for the PAD election speeches tomorrow- so needless to say I decided that I would run. I had kind of come to that decision last night and was gonna text the justice (president) but I was already falling asleep, then I woke up and started doubting it again, but then came back to that conclusion and went for it. I'm not running for justice though because I know that would be too much, so I'm running for service chair (my current position) and vice justice. I don't know the current state of people running, but I have to imagine it's not gonna be all that many. I guess we'll see tomorrow though. And yeah, that's about it. Tired and about ready to fall asleep, back to real life tomorrow. So goodnight friends of mine. Hope you had a relaxing weekend.
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