#home appliances my new fed

[the-thing-withfeathers]

SOUTHERN COMFORT

a/n: this is the third part of the main series of save a horse but it’ll become a perpetual series i think with some one shots & hcs coming out yayy

part 1 | part 2

pairing: cowgirl!madison beer x f!reader

warnings: smuuuut!! but mostly fluff actually. fingering, strap on usage, masturbation, vibrator usage, pet names.

summary: you never want your time with her to end.

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

you stood outside the door to madison’s house.

it had been a while since you two started a full fledged romance. after the incident in the barn, she took you out on a proper date, excusing it to her being a gentlewoman.

sure, you didn’t mind your quick steamy encounters but it was also nice to know the girl on a deeper level.

“i want this to be more than just hooking up in the barn.” she said, holding your hand at the edge of the cliff. you were getting better with sitting closer to the edge.

“i feel the same way.” you turned to her, placing a kiss on her cheek. “you’re the best thing about this place…” you said, her lip curled into a smile in response.

that night, she took you for a picnic under the stars in the forest. she made some treats for the two of you. one of which included strawberries to dip in chocolate, which she fed you herself.

you laughed all night, you found solace in her. you never thought you would find yourself this happy outside of home. but then you realised you had found a new home in madison.

and that was how you found yourself here, on madison’s front porch. in your pretty little dress that you bought just for tonight. you bought it in madison’s favorite color, hoping to impress her just as much as you wanted to impress her—

“mom!” she yelled out, rushing to get the door before her mother did but she failed nonetheless.

“hello sweetheart! you look so lovely!” her mom greeted you with a smile that matched her daughter’s.

“i brought pie.” you said, sheepishly smiling and holding up an apple pie you made. baking was your specialty, you did it all the time at home.

madison’s head peeked out from the doorway. oh god, that smile… you loved it so much. you couldn’t help but beam the second she tipped her hat at you. her eyes glazed over what you were wearing and she found herself nearly shoving her mom over just to touch you. she enveloped you in a hug, going as far as picking you up slightly.

“baby! the pie!” you squealed out, letting yourself get set down as madison took it from your hands. “i worked so hard on it.”

madison didn’t hesitated to stick her finger into the filling part of it, licking it clean. “it’s delicious! took no damage.” you smacked her arm and both of you laughed, much to her mom’s amusement.

madison & her mom led you into the house where you noticed for a country house, it was surprisingly modern. they had a marble kitchen and modern appliances.

“we renovated last year. our house was hit by the impact of a tornado so mom decided she wanted to modernize a little bit. she wanted to make it just a bit more stable for all of us in case it happened again.” madison noticed your open-mouthed staring.

“it’s beautiful. she did a really good job.” you nodded. madison set the pie down on the kitchen counter behind you.

“i’m glad you came tonight.” she said, her arms wrapping around you from behind. you placed your hands on hers.

“i wouldn’t miss it for the world.” you turned around to face her, looking up at her and placing your hands on her cheeks. “my gorgeous girl, this is like a dream come true.” you said, she leaned down to kiss you, pulling you closer towards her chest.

“it is for me too.” she smirked. “and you in that dress, baby… oh… the things you do to me.” she said, spinning you around. “you look beautiful.”

“i try, i try.” you teased.

“dinner’s ready!” you heard her mom call out.

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

you sat next to madison at the table, introducing yourself to her dad & brother as you sat down. you saw her scoot her chair slightly closer to you, rolling your eyes at her as she just shrugged you off. she just wanted to be closer to you.

you observed her dad, it seemed like all three of them fell under his authority pretty quickly. then again, you knew he was a veteran, with that background comes a presence that was unmissable— you understand where madison would have gotten it from. not that he seemed unkind or closed off, but he definitely seemed to be the type of person that would say no phones at the dining table.

her mom seemed to be an absolute sweetheart, serving everyone but herself. madison actually served you, taking the bowl of food from her mother. you tried to protest but she argued that you were their guest, you didn’t have to do anything.

her younger brother seemed almost like a carbon copy of madison. they were both playful, shoving each other from across the table and flinging bits of food at each other.

“what are your plans for the rest of the year?” madison’s mother said, snapping you out of your thoughts.

you hadn’t been asked that question before. your supposed six-month trial run hadn’t come to a close yet so you hadn’t gotten the chance to think about it. madison noticed a shift in your body language, placing a comforting hand on your thigh.

“i actually have no idea.” there was something about her mother’s demeanour that made you think honesty was the best way to go about answering her. “i was only supposed to be here for six months but i honestly don’t know what will happen after.” you confessed. “as much as i miss the city, i like being here. it’s been nice reconnecting with my childhood and my grandparents.” you smiled a little at the thought. “and your daughter was just there to sweeten the deal.” you joked.

her mother laughed at your joke, her father even cracking a smile after being quiet for most of the dinner so far.

“oh you’re too funny, sweetie.” her mom chuckled. she sounded just like madison when she chuckled. “well, whatever you decide, i’m sure madison would follow you to the ends of the earth.” she teased her daughter. “she always brings you up when she can. we were talking about limes and she managed to include you into the conversation.”

you looked over at a red-faced madison, a smirk creeping up onto your face. “is that so?” you nudged her a little bit. “didn’t think you liked me that much, cowgirl.”

“i don’t.” she huffed, clearly lying but embarrassed cause of all the teasing.

“you never shut up about her.” her younger brother chimed in, flicking a grain of rice towards madison. madison stood up quickly in a fit of playful rage, her younger brother immediately leaped out of his seat and ran away towards the living room.

“oi! you have to excuse yourselves to do that!” her father yelled out but there was no use, they were already too far.

a part of you hated madison for leaving you with her parents but you also felt comforted but their presence.

“you’re good for her.” her father spoke, that was the first time he addressed you.

“i try to be, sir.” you nodded. “but i think she’s more good for me. i wasn’t like this when i first came here.”

“she mentioned it. but i wouldn’t have noticed that you were any different.” he said, it was one of the kindest things you’ve ever heard. you were glad that someone noticed your change after you tried your hardest to make a difference.

“thank you, sir. that’s very kind.” you smiled warmly. her mother nodded in agreement with him.

madison & her brother suddenly ran back into the kitchen, sitting back down at their places.

“you done being at each other’s throats?” her father said, finishing his meal. they both nodded at their dad. you noticed madison’s flannel was misbuttoned and another button was missing. her hat was crooked on her head and she looked disheveled.

“you lost that fight, didn’t you?” you teased her.

“no way!” she defended herself while her brother cut her off.

“she totally lost that fight.”

“guess you’re not as tough as you look!” you loved trying to get a reaction out of her.

“shut up.”

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

you and madison’s family sat outside around the firepit. it was only your girl that was missing.

you had a cardigan over your shoulders, pulling it shut to keep yourself from the cold.

you heard the back door swing open and turned to see madison bringing out a guitar.

since when did she know how to play a guitar?

you looked at her with curiosity. you weren’t complaining, you actually should have known she was able to play. she never failed to surprise you with something new all the time, it was something you admired about her.

she sat down next to you, her arm touching yours as she put the guitar on her lap. the neck of it hovered over your legs but you didn’t mind, you loved being closer to her. you even scooted closer for warmth, holding onto her arm that was used to hold the fretboard.

“didn’t know you were a rockstar.” you said, leaning your head on her shoulder.

“i’m not. but my dad used to play, he taught me how.” she played a couple notes from a riff.

“you amaze me.” your eyes sparkled when you looked up at her.

“good.”

she started playing the chords to a song you found familiar. you may have heard it in passing.

“i set out on a narrow way, many years ago…”

she can fucking sing?!

your head practically shot up upon hearing her voice.

“hoping i would find true love along the broken road.”

oh my god. her voice. it was like the chorus descending from the heavens. you thought she was kidding, that she would play some silly stupid kid’s song or something.

“but i got lost a time or two. wiped my brow and kept pushing through.”

you didn’t know whether to be mad that she kept this from you— that she had a voice of an angel.

“i couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you.”

or mesmerized that the girl you met a couple months ago had a talent you didn’t expect from her. her voice was smooth like butter, she carried the tune with ease.

“that every long lost dream led me to where you are.”

and when she looked at you with those eyes. god, those eyes. you couldn’t help yourself. you were weak in the knees, you’d need help standing up later.

“others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars.”

you. you. she was singing to you. she was looking straight at you while she serenaded you.

“pointing me on my way, into your loving arms.”

and you. you loved her.

“this much i know is true…”

you. loved. her.

“that god blessed the broken road…”

you loved this girl from the country. you loved everything about her. how she cared for you, how she changed you. you loved madison.

“that led me straight to you…”

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

you wasted no time sitting madison down on her bed when you two got each other alone.

you straddled her lap, kissing her and knocking her hat off.

“god… you… when did you learn how to sing?!” you were frustrated— mentally, sexually, all of it!

“if i had known it would have affected you this much, i would’ve serenaded you ages ago.” she said, untying your dress with her apparently very skillful hands.

“shut up.” you said, practically tearing the rest of the buttons off her flannel when you tore it open. “show me what else you can do with your fingers.”

“don’t have to tell me twice.” she said, placing a hand on your back and knocking you down onto the bed.

she needed no help in taking her own clothes off. you quickly stripped yourself of your dress, throwing it onto the floor. she took her tank top off and unbuckled her jeans.

she sighed out of lust, the view in front of her was more beautiful than the seven wonders to her.

you sprawled out under her just in some lingerie you picked out to surprise her with. she was hovering over you and yet you were still talking.

“i can’t believe you’d do that to me. at your parents’ house!” you complained, she furrowed her brows at you.

“what i did?!” she exclaimed. “what about you?! you and this dress— my favorite color. you knew what you were doing!” the lingerie matched the color of your dress. “and this! you knew you’d get me in bed!” she accused.

“i didn’t expect you to play guitar and sing to me!” you tried to fight until she shut you up with a kiss, you forgot everything you wanted to say. “god… i want you.”

she wanted to punish you for what you did— you purposefully provoked her. but then she looked into your eyes, she saw something else other than the intention of getting her into bed. she saw something unfamiliar, and she saw how much you craved her.

to you, you know exactly what your eyes were saying. love. love her. you love her.

she smashed your lips together in a sloppy kiss, she put most of her weight on top of you but still held herself up a little bit. her right hand found your cunt, she was impatient, she just pushed your panties over to the side and started circling your clit with her fingers.

“oh baby, you really did want me, huh?” she asked, kissing your neck. you nodded through a soft moan as your legs opened wider for her.

“shhh, baby. my family’s next door.” she whispered to you, pecking your lips. “you’ll have to be quiet.”

you wanted to complain, you wanted the entire world to know how madison made you feel. although it became hard to fight back when you felt her slip a finger into you.

“god, you don’t even need foreplay. you’re just ready for me.” she said, sucking the skin of your neck. she’d leave a mark for sure. you whimpered, rutting your hips against her pumping finger. “so very very needy. my needy girl. so good for me.”

your hands tangled themselves in madison’s hair, your face was angled away from her so she could keep kissing your neck. you craved all of this, all of her. you were basically already fucked out from how much she turned you on from earlier.

“mads, i want you to feel it too.” you muttered, turning to look at her finally, pushing her out of your neck. you aimed to please her just as much as she did to you.

“okay, baby. whatever you want.” she nodded and pulled away from you. you started slowly touching yourself while she was turned away, rubbing your clit and groping at your own breast. “stop it.” she said, ordering you.

“how did you even know?!”

“you do it a lot. you’re just too needy sometimes. i know every single time.” she mocked you. she stepped into a harness that she pulled out of her drawer, but you saw her insert something into herself. “got this for us.” she turned back around.

it was a strap-on with a vibrator attachment for her. you two had tried more adventurous things, there wasn’t a lot to do in the country. you grinned at it.

“too sweet.” you giggled softly, still groping at your breasts.

she made her way back over to you, hovering on top of you again. you pulled her down to you for a kiss, you let out a small moan just from it. it turned you on knowing you both were going to satisfy yourselves.

she pressed a button on the base of the silicone cock, moaning when the vibration started inside of her. “woah… okay, fuck. amazing investment.” she laughed.

“where did you even get it?” you asked, pulling her closer.

“uh.. amazon. it was my first order!” you both chuckled softly.

“okay, hurry, hurry.” you grabbed the dick yourself, trying to speed up the process. your core was absolutely throbbing at this point, you needed to ease it before you exploded.

you lined the cock up with your hole and madison pushed it in, slowly. you both groaned when you swallowed it in its entirety.

“taking me so good, baby.” she said, thrusting into you at a medium pace. “fuckk—“ her words were stringing along as she felt herself succumb to the vibration. “you look amazing when you take my cock.” she managed to get out.

“i bet you love fucking me like this, huh?” you ran a hand through her hair. your other hand rested on her shoulder. she nodded as she let out another moan.

you shushed her kindly, remembering that her parents slept in the next room. you would be surprised if they didn’t hear the vibration paired with your noises. the walls seemed awfully thin for a renovated house.

madison had a hard time keeping her composure as the vibrator sent little buzzes up her own core. glands of sweat started to form on her skin, dripping down onto your chest. she palmed one of your boobs, taking the other one into your mouth. your noises spurred her on, her arousal coating the vibrator. you let out little whimpers when she used her teeth to tug at your nipple.

her thrusts increased in pace. your jaw dropped open when you felt the vibration from the base of the cock hit your clit with every thrust. your mixed pleasure with madison was overwhelming, you were cock-drunk on her but you wanted more and more.

her little grunts when she collided into you, her sloppy kisses on your neck, and the sweet nothings she was whispering in your ear.

“oh my baby… this pussy is mine and mine only.” she growled into your ear. “nobody else is ever gonna fuck you this good.”

“mmhm, nobody else.” you repeated after her. her hand made its way to your clit again, a gasp tried to force its way out of you until you smacked your hand over your mouth. “oh god mads! i’m so close.”

“me too baby… cum with me. c’mon… you can do it.” your nails clawed at her back as you reached your peak. you left red scratch marks.

“mads!” you cried out as a moan got caught in your throat as you finished all over her dick, resulting in a gasp that you were certain someone would have heard.

your body jolted up as hers came crashing down on you.

“fuck!” she said, her legs twitching, you know she finished as well. she panted softly, her head in between your breasts as she pulled out of you, stopping the vibrator as she did.

she collapsed next to you, still trying to catch her breath. you both wrapped your arms around each other in a hug.

your chin was on top of her head as she cuddled into you.

“this is the best night of my life.” she said, muffled as her face was still in between your tits.

“oh you…” you shoved her playfully. “you’re so cheeky.

“but you love me for it.” she teased.

“i do.” you don’t know why that suddenly came out.

“what?” she pulled away from you, staring into your eyes.

“i do… love you. i mean.” you said, not being able to control yourself. it was a mix of tiredness and arousal, you thought.

“i love you too, princess.” she said. it was the happiest she’s ever been. she had thought she was incapable of being loved, or loving. but you had proved her so very wrong.

and she had proved you wrong. it wasn’t tiredness or arousal… it was just her.

madison drifted off to sleep quickly. she had put a lot of effort into the day. you heard her snoring and she turned away from you in her sleep. you pouted at first but thought it was good timing for what you planned to do.

you slipped out of bed and put one of her t-shirts on along with a pair of shorts.

you snuck outside, sitting on the porch out the front door.

you had your phone with you. you knew it was late but whether or not they answered, you wanted them to know before you forgot to say anything.

you looked through your contacts and pressed dial on the right one. it took six rings before you got a response.

“hey! sorry we couldn’t get to the phone right now, we’ll call you back when you get the time!”

“hey mom! hey dad!” you started, the cold breeze outside sent a shiver down your spine.

you suddenly saw a figure show itself in the light.

madison had come out to join you after realising you were missing. she had turned over to try and cuddle you but was met with an empty space. she came out to drag you back in but saw you on the phone.

she was beautiful in this light, you almost forgot you were on the phone.

“i’m sorry it’s so late but i wanted to let you know this by tonight.” you snapped back to reality.

“i’ve decided to stay.”

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

over the next few weeks, your parents made the trip up. they dropped off a couple more of your things that you would need in order to stay the rest of the year.

you had no idea what was in store for after that but you knew you wanted more time with your grandparents and more time with madison.

your parents were so pleased to hear how you had been settling in.

madison was so excited to meet your parents. and your grandparents had spilled the beans about the two of you so your parents were excited to meet her as well.

madison had put on her best flannel, which you thought was incredibly silly but not out of character for her. she had some dirt on her face from working that you had wiped off just as your parents pulled up.

your mom and dad basically came running to you, enveloping you in a group hug.

“i’ve missed you both!” you said, holding back tears. it had been a while since you’ve seen them in person.

“we missed you, honey.” your mom kissed your forehead.

“it’s not the same without you but i guess we’ll just have to settle for it. you look so happy.” your father said, kissing your cheek.

they both turned to look at madison, your father sticking his hand out to her.

“so you’re the girl that has my daughter whipped for the country, huh?” your dad said, madison took his hand and shook it.

“dad!” you exclaimed, nudging his back.

“well, i’m flattered, but what’s not to like about the country? we have cool animals and good music.” madison returned the sentiment.

“i’m with you there!” your mom said.

“when have you ever liked country music?” you asked her as your dad started bringing the luggage down from the back of his truck. madison followed him and offered to help him out, they talked about the truck as they did it.

“i used to play the banjo.” your mom revealed.

“what?! why have you never taught me?!” you gasped.

“because you threw a tantrum when asked to sit still.” she argued.

“she still does!” madison called out.

“oh shut it!” you scolded her and she just rolled her eyes at you with a smile on her face.

“c’mon!” your grandma called from the house. “get inside! the food’s getting cold!”

your mom & dad walked towards the house. despite the fact that madison was carrying suitcases, you pulled her in for a deep kiss.

“c’mon darlin’, i gotta get these suitcases in there so we can get some food in us and take the horses out.” she protested.

“i love when you talk country to me.” you said, a toothy grin forming on your face.

“well you’re not getting rid of me that easy so you’re gonna have to love it.” she pressed a quick kiss to your cheek.

“i love you.” you said, letting her walk faster before her arms got tired out.

“i love you too.” she said, nodding her head once to stimulate tipping her hat.

man, you loved the country.

[misfitwashere]

The way Ukrainians live around missile attacks. I decided to translate it for you.

by Tatusia Bo

"My first fear after the start of the full-scale invasion is quite trivial. Like, in fact, everyone's. I fear a missile would strike while I am taking a shower. And I could see these pictures in my head — they would clear the rubble and take out my plumpy, naked, and wet body. So, I learned to wash within 3 minutes between alerts. I would jump out of the shower and be like, "Whew, not this time".

My second fear is the missile-and-the-toilet thing. I have had it since a missile attack on the neighborhood in the early morning. In fact, I was woken up by a loud bang. For I had solemnly slept through the air raid alert. The explosion, I open my eyes, and I'm already standing in the common corridor with my baby in my arms. Then there was a series of bangs, everything was shaking. And suddenly a pause... And I needed to use the toilet so badly that I was crying. I thought "Well, whatever. I'll go for it".

I went to the toilet, and as soon as I sat on it, there was a looooud bang. I was tossed up in the air along with the toilet. After that, I fear a missile attack while being in the toilet. Handsome and strong firefighters would clear it all up and find me riding a white... horse. And journalists would write: "A Woman with No Panties Found on the Toilet". And all of Kyiv would zoom in on the picture, looking at the scars and birthmarks, trying to figure out who had pissed away, well, I mean, missed the alarm.

As for panties... We were brought up mostly in post-Soviet times. Teenagers of our generation were not interested in looking under skirts. Because everyone's underpants were the same. Serhii's mom's, Olya's, and Serhii's classmate's - all the same. They were so ugly. Mothers of that time always kept new underpants in the closet for holidays and when they went to see a doctor. No matter what happened to a person, the first thing to take care of was underwear. And then the war... Once I felt a little better, the first thing I did was buying a pair of nice new panties. 'Cause, you know, what if all that happened — a missile, rubble, firefighters, the media... And maybe they would eventually write "A Woman's Body Found Under Rubble in Lovely Panties". They would write that, won't they?

One of my friends, Lena, upon returning home after de-occupation, was most offended by the Russians because they neglected even household appliances in the house, but beige, seamless, very comfortable and therefore well-worn underpants were stolen by the bastards.

My mother also had her own fear. What if a missile hit her house, everything was smashed, chickens running around, ducks were not fed, and the vegetable garden was overgrown with weeds? That's what she would tell me: "I am weeding the vegetable garden, my dear, in case a missile hits, so I have no weeds all over my potatoes."

On December 31, the Russians "greeted" us all day long with "congratulations" either by Shaheds or missiles. Neighbors from the upper floors gathered near my door in the common hallway. They would gather and grumble that the damned Russians were not letting them finish preparing the holiday meal. Someone brought out sparkling wine, and I brought out glasses: "Well, cheers to air defense."

"If they shell our house and I burn down the duck I've been cooking for three days, I won't take responsibility for my actions," said a neighbor from the 9th floor. And for some reason, I believe her.

On the morning of January 2, the Russians launched their most massive missile attack on Ukraine. When tons of explosives were flying over Kyiv, my friend Katia politely went to the subway, where we hide from missiles. And so people were shuddering from the explosions in the subway, and Katia would text us in a common chat:

"Oh, f@ck, there was such an explosion I almost dropped my croissant."

We would write back, dumbfounded:

"Katia, what croissant? Where are you?"

And Katya replied with such calmness:

"I went out for coffee, what's wrong? I am a Ukrainian woman. I want coffee and a croissant, and no f@cking Russian Kalibr (missile - ed.) is going to stop me".

Let's skip the fact that, despite the explosions all over the city, there was an open croissant shop, which is a topic for another conversation. But Katia, it turns out, is afraid of dying from a missile without drinking coffee and having a crispy croissant.

We are afraid. Oh, how scared we are. Personally, during the loudest explosion, I was pressing myself to the floor thinking, "F@ck, am I going to die in the old robe?" and anyway I donated money for drones. We are scared, scared when missiles are flying at another city, scared when the news reports on an air attack on the defense line near the city of M. We seem to be afraid every second of our lives.

Author: Tatusia Bo

[redheadgleek]

End of Year Round-Up

Places visited: Joshua Trees National Park in January with my parents; Oklahoma and Arkansas in April with my sister; Chicago in April with college girlfriends; Atlanta in May with K; Yosemite, Kings Canyon, Sequoia, and Lassen National Parks in July with my family; Seattle in September; Crater Lake and Ashland at the end of September; Mesa Verde and Durango in October, Thailand (Bangkok and Chiang Mai) in November; Arizona in December.

Number of National Parks visited: 8 (4 new!) + 1 Thai National Park!

Games played: Settlers of Catan, Dutch Blitz, Cover Your Assets, Dragonwood, and Really Loud Librarians with the niblings. 1 escape room with the niblings. Buffy the Vampire Slayer with friends for my birthday.

Puzzles completed: 1.4 (the Fellowship of the Ring is on my table right now).

Baby bunnies cuddled and hand fed: 6

Movies watched: Wicked, Home Alone 2 with the niblings, Top Gun and Outbreak with the parentals last night for the new year, Emma 2009. Inside Out 2 on the airplane.

TV shows watched: The last season of Battlestar Galactica (I cried so much), The Great British Bake Off, The Great American Bake Off seasons 1-2, the last season of Fringe (so good – I was so sad when it ended), Only Murders in the Building (through season 3), Doctor Odyssey (so so bad it was good and I have a weakness for Joshua Jackson), The Acolyte (I’m steamed that it was canceled). I’ve watched the first couple of episodes of Abbott Elementary, the first episode of Reservation Dogs, and half of the first season of Elementary.

Books read: 120.

Audiobooks listened to: 18!

Musicals/Plays watched: Annie, Girl from the North Country (pretty awful), The Preacher’s Wife (in Atlanta starring Amber Riley), Company, Peter Pan, Wicked.

Concerts attended: None? Really?

Number of celestial events witnessed: I swore there were 3 but I’m only seeing pictures of 2 – 1 complete solar eclipse, 1 stunning aurora borealis

Music listened to: A.P.T. by Rosé and Bruno Mars (this played all over Thailand!)

Nights spent in the hospital because my driveway too icy/snowy to get home: None!

Number of days without power and the weather was below freezing: Nearly 4.

Number of days stuck at home because of frozen driveways and downed trees: 8

Knitted projects: Four thick and bulky scarves, one shirt, one crocheted scarf

Number of skeins of yarn bought: Not bad! I limited myself to enough yarn to make 2 shirts/sweaters.

Number of faculty teaching awards: 1 (from the neurosurgery residents!!)

Number of new teaching positions applied to: 1 (to be a course director for the medical students. I’ll find out at the end of this week/next if I got the position).

Number of new kitchen appliances: 3 (the dishwasher kicked the bucket, ants were inhabiting the stove, and the fridge was old and small).

Number of papers published with my name on them: 3

House repairs: installed a garage door release so I can get into my garage when the power goes out, insulated the water pipes, installed a door so I can get into my crawl space, braced my house to the foundation so it won’t slide away in an earthquake,

Visits to the beach: 3, including the beach in Pattaya

Number of trolls visited: 4 (Jakob Two Trees in Issaquah, Frankie Feetsplinters in Ballard, Bruun Idun in West Seattle and Ole Bolle just down the road from me).

Number of waterfalls visited: 3 (Snoqualmie, Wachirachan, Multnomah)

Favorite new drink: butterfly pea tea

[linka-r9-vysocina]

I know this is a pet peeve and a very small hill to die on. but.

i hate the sentiment of "something something tumblr userbase aging" "you are old when" etc in relation to like. kitchen appliances. cooking. home furnishings. because. listen to me.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT AGE THIS IS NOT ABOUT AGING IT'S ABOUT YOU TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AND HAVING THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOU LIVING SPACE

I have had a favourite cooker on the stove since I was like, 11, I think, and you know why??? it's not because I was getting older. It's because I WAS STARTING TO LEARN TO COOK AROUND THAT TIME (i think) AND I HAD TO USE THE STOVE

do you know why you are excited for new dish towels?? hint: it's not because you are old and boring. IT'S BECAUSE THEY ARE YOURS YOU GET TO CHOOSE THEM YOU GET TO TAKE CARE OF THEM YOU CAN APPRECIATE THEM BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY USE THEM ALL THE TIME

YOU ARE NOT OLD AND BORING

YOU ARE JUST A PERSON IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE TAKING CARE OF THEMSELVES

and that's in no way sad or boring

That's fucking beautiful

thank you for coming to my TED talk

note: since this is the piss poor reading comprehension website and also the disabled website, i don't mean to say that it's wrong if you aren't in control of your life rn or can't take full care of yourself, i am just fed up with people who go "oh no i am so adult and boring now because buying new kind of toilet paper excites me" all the time

[pbandjesse]

Well our appliances were not delivered today. Sad. The dryer is permanently out of stock. But good news, James was able to talk to a very helpful customer service woman and got us a different one, even price matched it to the original one. Even though this one was more expensive. So now we are getting them next Friday.

But I did not know for sure if the delivery was going to happen today. So I was just a little stressed about it when I woke up. When I woke up I was not going to get up right away. No need to. But then I heard a box truck outside and absolutely panicked and threw on clothes just in case. It was very stupid. I went downstairs and waited to see what they were delivering and it ended up being a bookcase for our neighbor. I would take a deep breath and text James to see what was up. And went to take a shower and brush my teeth and calm myself down.

I felt a lot better after the shower. It was nice to be clean. And honestly today was the best I have felt in forever. I didn't even take my medicine. I just felt fine. I was low energy for sure. But I wasn't sick and that just made my heart feel so light.

I would have some brioche and ice tea for breakfast. And took the animals outside. It was just a little drizzly out today and was humid but it was really nice having the door open. Even if it lets flies in. I just want the windows/door open all the time. I can't wait til we have a screen door. Hopefully soon. We paid for it! We are just waiting for the custom sized door to be made.

I would do a ton of knitting work today. I only have 4 cream color squares to finish (it was 7 at the begining of the day but I would make 3 throughout the day) . And I would work hard to sew all my other squares together. It's such a sweet little piece. I am still going to make a boarder but I love the checker.

I would also cut and measure all of the yarn for my temperature blanket for July. I attached the June rectangle as well. But cutting and making the yarn took forever. I would have worked on August too but I ran out of the color for 70s. I will probably go to the craft store to look tomorrow. But I'm not to worried. It'll get done.

I would have a little lunch. Watch some videos. Worked on knitting. Sewed sewed sewed. I would occasionally go outside to check on the animals. I was just having a chill day.

I made strawberry lemonade but it really needed more lemon and we only had powder lemon packets. Not the same. Maybe when I go to the store tomorrow I'll pick up some lemons too.

Celia would come over to hang out for a few hours at 130. It was nice to hang out with her. She would change out of her internship clothes once she got here. And we sat on the couch and talked. I worked on my knitting and sewing. It was a chill hang out.

Eventually I made us nachos and we played the frog detective game. The second chapter/sequel was much more involved. We got to decorate a notebook, which we took very seriously. And she narrated all of the speech bubbles, gave everyone accents and everything. It was a lot of fun.

When we finished the game, after having some candy and laughing and having a good time, I realized I was ridiculously tired and just be er fed to lay down. So Celia said she would head out. I'm really glad we got to hang out today.

I wouldnt actually sleep. But I would be horizontal and just rested my body. And soon James was home.

They were very sad. Some hockey players were biking and got hit by an aggressive drunk driver and died. Two brothers. The day before their sister's wedding. Horrible. An absolute tragedy. And they were really torn up about it. Especially because people have been very aggressive towards them lately on their bike. It sucks. People need to calm down, people are literally dying.

They would go upstairs to record an addendum to their podcast about the hockey players. Just to get their feelings out. I would just lay down on the couch. Eventually they would have showered and came and laid with me and held me which was really nice.

Eventually I moved upstairs. I took the kinesiology tape off that I've been wearing the last couple days and even though I was careful I still tore my skin a bit and it hurt. So after dinner (Mac and cheese), I took a bath and tried to carefully get the excess glue off and take care of my poor torn skin. Ouch.

Now me and James are in bed. We might watch more vampire show. But my head hurts a bit and I am very tired. But thankfully not woozy or nauseous.

Tomorrow I have the market. And I am hoping it's a good day. I hope you all have a good day. I love you all very much. Sleep well my friends. Goodnight!

[wendykw]

Living on Social Security Part 2

What I did in the months before I retired to be sure I could survive on just my Social Security check.

PLANNING Steps:

I researched how much money I would have in my SS check before I decided I could retire at 66 instead of waiting until 70. My SS check is about 1/3 higher than the average. So I have that going for me. You can find this information at ssa.gov. You'll have to create a password to access your data.

I researched how much Medicare was going to cost me. Medicare is NOT free. With Parts B & D plus a Medicare Supplement, it costs me $393 per month. You need to know these things before hand. My late husband had retired before I did, so I was aware of these costs. I learned a lot about how Medicare works & the options for Medicare supplements when Hubby and I were looking at his options. He retired at 62 & died at 65. He had a lot of medical issues during those 3 years.

Taxes are another issue to research. My state (NC) does not tax Social Security, but it does tax withdrawals from retirement accounts like IRAs. I have an IRA that I use as my emergency fund. I've used it for paying a plumber, replacing appliances that died, etc. I haven't taken out enough in any year to pay income tax on those withdrawals. The Feds tax half of your SS check, plus other income, if it exceeds the exemption for your filing status. I haven't paid income tax since 2019, the year I retired & still had work income.

I made a budget based on what my net SS check would be. My take-home from my job was >$1k more per month than my SS check. I did this a few months before I retired, so I could figure out how to reduce my expenses that much.

I researched ways to cut expenses.I read books. I watched & still watch several youtube channels that are about frugality. Search frugality & or minimalism on youtube, & you'll find lots of channels. I like Under the Median, Frozen Pennies, Homegrown Hilary, Living on a Dime to grow Rich, and Kate Kaden. If you find someone else that you like, let me know about them. Most of the you-tubers have kids, so a lot of the advice isn't applicable to a retired person or couple.

Next time, I'll write about what I did financially in the 5 years between when my husband died & when I retired. I had to rebuild my retirement savings (401k), because we had to use some of it when Hubby got laid off in 2009, and then when I was unemployed in late 2013 & early 2014. Hubby died 3 months after I started a new job.

[notfknapplicable]

6658

FYI y’all I have no idea what I’m counting down to, I just like having some kind of theme to my personal posts. I’m an artiste

Sooooooooooo things are going...well?  My general existential dread is always right below the surface and I feel like something awful is always about to happen, but here are my life developments since my last personal post.

1. Signed up 2 more publishers. 2. Researching a digital capture pilot program for the fall. 3. Absolutely ITCHING to use a sheet-fed duplex scanner. 4. Debating applying to serve on my city’s historical preservation committee. 5. Decided not to renew my lease cuz they keep raising the rent on me without upgrading any appliances or fixtures, and also my neighbors kinda freak me out.  There are creepy old men who flirt with me in VERY gross ways, and then there’s the guy across the street who is always sitting in his friend’s car blasting music when his mom is at work.  I’m sick of it.  I’m ready to be a townie again. 6. I’ve accepted that I can’t afford to live alone if I’m ever gonna save enough for a down payment on my forever home.  But I’ve already got 3 leads on roomies, and two are very promising. 7. I am attracted to someone.  I literally do not want to say more than that because it has been so long since I’ve felt like I’m actually crushin’ on someone.  Not an “oh that is an attractive person, I can acknowledge that” feeling, but more of an “okay I need to start eating pineapple daily” type of feeling.  It’s literally been six years.  I need my tires rotated and balanced, if you know what I mean.

I also missed an appointment for a study I’m doing today, but the doctor was super cool about me rescheduling. And then I tried to iron a freelance check that got crumpled in my purse and ended up smudging it to the point that they wouldn’t cash it, but they’ve already issued me a new check that I’m picking up after work!

My vacation in the Hamptons starts in 1 month and 3 days.  We’re already making reservations and plans!  I need to get new trail runners before we go.

[potatoes83]

Random...

Had to drop the Wrangler off at Belle Tire yesterday; found a nail way too close to the sidewall, and the 7 year old tires were starting to dryrot in the treads. I live about 2 1/2 miles away, so I walked back home. Got a big bastarding blood blister on the ball of my foot, right behind the index and middle toes, size of a quarter. That's obnoxious.

Stayed up late, slept in, creatures fed, me fed, laundry and dishes going. It's funny how things change when you're an adult; you used to tell your friends about your newest action figure or whatever, now it's like, oh yeah, got a new dishwasher... yeah, stainless steel, you'd better believe it... no, three freaking racks, I know, right???

I am still annoyed by the fact that the dishwasher takes like 2 1/2 hours to run the dishes. The old one took about an hour. And it's not like I desperately need the dishes like I'm running this thing back to back in a restaurant or something, we've been lazy this week, so there's every bit of a second load to go in, but it's not like the washing machine where you have a finite amount of time to get everything done over the weekend. It doesn't really matter how long the dishwasher takes, truth be told, but I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole it runs so much longer so it can save energy thing. Last I checked, with electrical appliances, the longer they run, the more they cost you. And I know, the heating element is probably half the size, the pump is smaller, and I hear it in there spraying rack by rack, instead of just a massive cascade of water, but once again, if you have something that's half the size running twice as long, it seems like that would be as much if not more energy.

What I really hate is the way that with all this energy efficiency nonsense, your everyday families are really being priced out of being able to afford appliances. Like it's one thing if you're making the decision to spend more money on the higher efficiency model that uses less water and allegedly less energy, that's you making that choice with your dollars based on your lifestyle. But if you just need a replacement dishwasher, never mind the fact that the cheap ones are prohibitively expensive compared to what they used to be, they also just don't work as well. You're really forced to buy something upper end just for it to do what it's supposed to do. This dishwasher works great, yes it does, no one's questioning this. For over $1,000 it better. You buy a cheap one these days, and because it's sitting there saving energy at you, you got to run half the dishes through again. Unless you're one of those people who pre washes them with soap and water before they go in the dishwasher, in which case what's the point? But I know there was a significant period of my working life where there was no way in hell I could spend this kind of coin on a dishwasher. Hell, I had the basic rebuilt washer and dryer from the local used appliance store, $150 each out the door, if they lasted you a couple years, they had paid for themselves. And there was nothing wrong with that. And even in this case, a thousand bucks isn't walking around money, it's by the grace of the Home Depot consumer credit card letting me use their money for 6 months interest free that this dishwasher is a thing.

I've said this before, I'm not a masochist when it comes to my energy bills and whatnot. Everything costs way too much money, and we work far too hard just to pay for our utilities. But let me make that decision. That's what it boils down to. Because some people can't. Oh, what you save in electricity and water, that makes up the cost of the dishwasher, yeah that's cute, but you're talking about long-term costs versus upfront costs. I'm sitting here right now looking at seven light bulbs, none of which are on, but back in the day those would be 60 watts if not greater. Each. That's a hell of a lot of wattage. So I'm running energy efficient light bulbs, I still have quite a few cfls, a smattering of leds, because I didn't go throwing everything I bought away when the next technology came down the road. But I also remember when you get a box of 60 watt standard light bulbs for like 80 cents or some nonsense. So if I want to save the energy, I can spend five bucks a light bulb or whatever the hell it is these days, but what if I don't have that luxury. What if I just need some light in my kitchen, and things are really tight, what do I do then?

The choice needs to be in the hands of the consumer. And that can't be a Sophie's choice of choosing between affordability or something that actually works. Also, affordability needs to be determined by real people, not a bunch of bureaucrats pulling down comfortable six figure salaries. That's not reasonable. And it's not helping anybody. If I need to buy something basic, with less fancy functions, less energy efficiency, but it will still do the job I need it to, that needs to be my decision. 🥔

[magnusmodig]

❝ 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐃, 𝐘𝐄𝐒. 𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄? '𝐓𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐔𝐓 a matter of opinion and circumstance , my friend. ❞ though the words were perhaps the chiding sort , they were well-meaning. that he had ROOF over his head was enough. ( no longer COOPED UP / a match in a steel powder keg / fitful power reawakened without tether , and fit to explode . ) and with such resolve , thor's smile came easier then , damming the fitful tidings of regret in the presence of such mortal stranger. ❝ i am thor , son of odin. it is a pleasure to meet you , son of niro. ❞

such formalities were trivial , but expected , and with them out of the way did thor make move to explore further into the kitchen area. appliances reminiscent of midgard's technology were tucked soundly away in their places , humming faintly even though their vibration was lost to his senses. ( he almost didn't mind it. he hadn't his jane to soothe the incessant buzzing of the damned kitchen fridge. ) and now standing squarely before the most offensive appliance , thor focused his investigation on the one thing this realm had NOT provided for him: sustenance.

the fridge , upon opening , was the same as any other fridge he had seen. though this one was ill stocked , mostly barren due to the home's new tenants. ( thor didn't much mind that either. two months of fasting to allow his people fed did a number on one's appetite , it seemed. ) PRETENDING THEN to merely to be curious , he made show of peering into its inner cupboards and shelves before shutting the door , and doing the same with the freezer.

❝ do tell , de niro , what are your preferred forms of nourishment? ❞ he asked , gliding fingers over white cupboards before peering inside of those , too. he spared a glance over his shoulder before winking. ❝ if it is much like your taste in spirits , i believe that you and i might be fast friends over such meals as breakfast , indeed. ❞

Roberto had come down from his late night talk with Vash-not-Vash and promptly collapsed into bed in an attempt to wake up from this bizarre dream. Maybe he was in the hospital in a coma and this was his brain making shit up.

But he knew the difference between being awake and asleep and when he woke up... He was forced to concede that this was real.

Which meant his first step of a new day was cracking open a bottle of whiskey he'd bought the other day and having a morning drink and a smoke. Just something to settle his nerves and keep him from freaking out while he figured out what he was going to do from here.

Roberto has only gotten as far as getting out the bottle, his suit jacket dropped over the back of a chair and his button-up shirt hardly qualifying for that name, when what he can only describe as a mountain of a man emerges from the other bedroom.

They stare blankly at each other for a few moments before the man beams sunshine at way too early in the morning.

"Err... Yeah. Wasn't aware I had a roommate here." He should have figured, since there were two rooms. At least it wouldn't be as quiet as he'd thought. A little self consciously, Roberto sets the bottle down to finish buttoning his shirt up. Jesus this guy was huge.

"Name's Roberto De Niro, pleasure. Guess you're another displaced unfortunate, huh?"

[flowering-smile]

I bring meta for the @tolkiencrackweek !

So I was thinking about how hobbits spend their time; it's canon that they like to do activities that don't require a great effort or that basically consist in eating. Except some essential workers like farmers.

However, in a society with such a lack of technical advances how do they get time to do such things. Something had to made their life easier. And how do hobbits live so well in a medieval landscape inside their Hobbit hole?

They invented home appliances. They had mixers, refrigerators, vacuum cleaners, washing machines, microwaves...

How did they find them? They don't know, what's most curious about the hobbits is that they take things for granted and don't wonder where they came from or what else to do with them. So they have that technology, they use it every day but they don't remember who made them or who found it bet my money it was a Took and they don't care. They could apply that technology to build nuclear weapons, and they don't care. They are happy with what they have because thanks to it they can have six meals a day and life a peaceful life in the Shire while the rest of Middle Earth are living stressful, medieval and dirty lifes

[meraki-j]

wood essentials

[hiepmocuilga]

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[onlinebazar-23]

Top 5 Home And Kitchen Gadgets Available At "Onlinebazar.com" || Part 1

[home-decorr]

Top 5 Best High Quality Hair Dryer

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[brassbronzeboutique]

LORD VISHNU FULL CONCEPTS IS ON STORE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lord Vishnu - Mastya Avtar - Matsya is listed as the first incarnation of the Dashavtara , the ten principal avatars of Vishnu. Matsya is most commonly associated in post-Vedic literature such as the Puranas with the legends of rescuing Vaivasvata Manu from the delugu. Matsya iconography sometimes is zoomorphic as a giant fish with a horn, or anthropomorphic in the form of a human torso connected to the rear half of a fish. Matsya (Fish in Sanskrit) was the first Avatar of Vishnu in Hinduism. The great flood finds mention in Hindu mythology texts like the Satapatha Brahmana , where in the Matsya Avatar takes place to save the pious and the first man, Manu and advices him to build a giant boat. Lord Matsya is generally represented as a four-armed figure with the upper torso of a man and the lower of a fish.The story, according to the Matsya Purana, goes like this : Satyavrata, the king of pre-ancient Dravida and a devotee of Vishnu, who later was known as Manu was washing his hands in a river when a little fish swam into his hands and pleaded with him to save its life. He put it in a jar, which it soon outgrew. He then moved it to a tank, a river and then finally the ocean but to no avail. The fish then revealed himself to be Vishnu and told him that a deluge would occur within seven days that would destroy all life. The fish told Manu that at the end of Kali yug, the mare who lived at the bottom of the ocean would open her mouth to release a poisonous fire. This very fire will burn the whole universe, Gods, constellations and everything. The seven clouds of doomsday would then flood the earth until everything was a single ocean. Therefore, the fish instructed Satyavrata to build an ark to take “all medicinal herbs, all the varieties of seeds, and accompanied by the seven saints”  along with the serpent Vasuki and other animals. As the time of the flood approached, Manu’s ark was complete. As the flood swept over the land, Manu asked Vishnu why mankind had to meet such a deadly fate to which Matsya Vishnu told Manu that he was the only moral man alive and that he would be the father of the future generations of men.

DETAILS OF THE IDOLS

Materials: Lost Wax Method South Indian Bronze

Total Height Including Base: 28 inches

Widest Point: 25 inches at arch

Base height:6.5inches

Base Width:21.5 inches

Nagam height:13inches

Weight: 54kgs pounds

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