#holy shit zayn has a kid

[rainbowbeanstyles]

i completely forgot about zayn's kid. his new post is so lovely oh my heart🥺

[beneathashadytree]

RESPONSIBLE DADS - LOVE AND DEEPSPACE MEN X READER

Warnings : autistic!Zayne with his autistic daughter, all of them are girl dads here (except for Xavier who has twins), cuteness-aggression bites, one mention of a gun (no one is harmed!), no mentions of pregnancy (their kids can be interpreted as biological or adopted), this isn’t proof-read, reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : so much domestic fluff ☹️🫶🏽

Word count : 2.3K words (holy shit???)

Additional notes : This is a combination of two asks I’d received a month or two ago about the LNDS men as dads while their partner is away, and Zayne in particular struggling with his own autism vs his child’s autism. The brain rot was real in this one😭 To anyone else reading this, my requests are still closed!! These are just old requests I had in my inbox🫶🏽

Tip jar!

Masterlist

“She went down without much of a fuss,” Zayne said, slowly closing the bedroom door behind him as he set his phone on the dresser and got ready for bed over the video call, despite the time zone differences. He’d tried to convince them to just let themself rest instead of staying up past 3 AM, but they’d paid him no mind and insisted on seeing him last thing before bed.

They hummed, watching him slip out of his button up through their screen with a fond gaze. “She is really quiet compared to what I’ve heard about kids her age.”

In the midst of folding his shirt, he paused, a slight crease between his eyebrows. “A little too quiet.” At his concerned face, they straightened up in their seat and leaned in closer to their phone. “I think… she has difficulty connecting with me.”

Their expression was unsure at that. “I don’t know, Zayne. You know she loves you…”

“I do,” was his swift answer, pausing as he pulled his pyjama shirt over his head, then popping out with his hair adorably mussed. “But maybe she feels like I wouldn’t understand her.”

No matter how much he wanted to seem stoic and unaffected by the prospect, there was no hiding the conflicted emotions swimming in his eyes. With an almost sad smile, they asked him, “Even though anyone that sees you two says you have so much in common?”

With a slight flush (was it out of embarrassment as he noticed his messy hair, or was it a twinge of pride in being so connected to his daughter?) he began to apply his minimal skincare that he’d grown used to with them, scarred skin deftly being cared for after years of neglect.

“Autistic girls have different experiences than autistic boys, and their struggles are often overlooked because of these differences. Maybe she subconsciously feels that we can’t bridge that gap.”

Resting their head against their hand, keen eyes bore through him. Zayne would never go unheard as long as they were there. “Do you feel that gap?”

He shrugged, swallowing thickly as he wiped the excess off on his hand towel. “It’s not about me. Studies show that—”

Shaking their head, they sighed a little in affectionate exasperation. “It doesn’t matter what studies say. You’re overthinking it because you want things to be perfect. It’s sweet, just… not very realistic.”

“Mm. I know,” he softly conceded, combing through his hair with a distant glimmer in his eyes. It wasn’t so easy, navigating the emotions and ideas of a child that one already struggled with for decades.

They apologetically smiled at him, then added, “She trusts you with her life because she knows how hard you try to understand her, no matter how difficult that may be sometimes. You give her the space to be able to communicate her needs properly, and that’s why she loves you beyond measure, Zayne.”

He looked away for a few beats, but that was enough time for them to see the misty-eyed wonder in his eyes as he looked at the crooked drawing on his bedside table that she’d made of him holding her in his arms.

His sweet daughter who carried a piece of his heart everywhere she went.

“Then she’s just like you. Very open with her affections.” Huffing out an impossibly tender laugh, he picked up his phone once again and began to climb into bed, his shoulders sagging with relief; like he needed that reassurance to be able to nestle his body into the mattress, cold as it was without his lover. “Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve it from you both…”

“You’re gonna get sick like that, and guess who’ll be cleaning up that mess?” Rafayel frowned, grabbing his daughter by the scruff of her neck and carrying her off before she got her pretty dress drenched by the wave that came crashing down where she’d been standing.

“I can’t get sick from water, daddy, and you know it,” came the reply between giggles, her eyes closed as she relished in the spray of seawater.

With a grunt, he fumbled with his phone a little as he switched to carrying her against his hip with one arm, before turning back to the ongoing video call. “Holding down the fort?” they teasingly asked, arching their brow at their daughter’s windswept hair and inevitably sandy fists curled up against Rafayel’s chest.

“She likes to bully me.” He pouted as he saw two pairs of mischievous eyes looking at him. “No guesses as to where she picked that up from.”

“Are you sure that your six year old daughter—who, mind you, is as cute as a button—is bullying you?”

“Daddy’s just silly, Lemurians are fine with water,” his daughter tried to reason with what she felt was perfectly logical. “He just doesn’t want to wash my clothes again if I get them wet.”

“And why should I?” he indignantly huffed out at the grin that showed she was definitely up to no good. “They’ll get dirty ten seconds later anyways. It’s such a pain.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t leave paint buckets everywhere, then I wouldn’t be on my fourth dress of the day.” Her sassy mutter under her breath was the last straw, and then his instincts took over and—

Chomp!

His teeth nibbled on her round little cheeks, cuteness aggression washing away any possible annoyance (which he’d been feigning, anyways) at the prospect of having to do the laundry all over again. She cried out in protest, though her shreaks of laughter and tighter hold on him gave away the fact that—not unlike his partner—she loved every bit of it.

“You got my face all dirty,” she whined, wiping her cheek against his silk shirt as he walked them back up to the house, much to his dismay.

A chuckle came from his screen, and he flushed under the sweet gaze and the grin he missed so much. “There goes another round in the washing machine. Y’know, Raf, it’s not the smartest move around to wear your favorite clothes around your kid.”

“No kidding,” he grumbled, though there was no bite behind his words. In fact, the tender look in his gem-like eyes only spoke volumes of the adoration he held inside. And maybe his little girl felt it, and decided it would be the perfect moment to press a kiss to where she could reach, right over his heart.

“I don’t mind the paint, daddy. You always make the prettiest things with it, pretty just like you,” she softly said, her tiny index finger toying with the pearlescent button on his blouse.

How much more did she want to squeeze his heart in his chest? He didn’t think he could possibly love her any more than he already did, and yet here she was, proving over and over again that she was the greatest gift he could ever be blessed with after all these years. Walking into their home with sandy feet and salty skin was no longer a dream, but a part of his quaint little life.

“Even if you did ruin my favorite dress and sandals.”

“Papa’s been asleep for three hours now,” she whined in a low voice, her bottom lip jutted out as she looked back at Xavier curled up in a ball in the middle of the unmade bed, legs tangled in the messy sheets. She then turned back to the videocall at hand. “Can’t you wake him up, please?”

Her twin brother popped up from behind her and patted her shoulders in what he hoped was a soothing manner. “He’s tired after he played with us. Let’s leave him for a bit.”

With a downcast gaze, she reluctantly nodded and walked out with him, the phone shaking as it was a little too big for her small hands.

Now out in the living room, they could finally raise their voices a little. “Papa cleaned up in the morning too. We probably shouldn’t have asked him to play with us.” He looked a little forlorn as he fiddled with his fingers. Painfully shy, it often showed when he was doubting himself. “We tried to help him after lunch, but—”

“That’s okay, what matters is that you both tried to lend him a hand,” they sweetly reassured them as they smiled through the screen. “And I’m sure if he was too tired to play with you guys, he wouldn’t have offered it in the first place.”

Their daughter gasped, eyes shining in awe at that. “How did you know that Papa was the one who came up with the game?”

“Because he waits for playtime every day, just to spend time with you guys. He’s always so excited, y’know?”

With matching grins (though one was more bashful than the other), the two seven year-olds looked significantly lighter than they had been when the call had first started. The precious moment was soon interrupted by a yawn from behind and a tuft of blonde hair taking up half the background.

“Did you two sneak off to have them all to yourself?” came Xavier’s sleep-addled voice, as he shuffled to pull them onto his lap and readjust the camera. “Cheeky, taking advantage of my nap.”

His daughter laughed, her hands going to loop around his neck. “We weren’t! Promise.”

Her brother reached up to pat down Xavier’s bedhead, gently combing through the soft locks. “You looked tired, Papa. We didn’t want to wake you up with our voices.”

At that, Xavier couldn’t help the upwards quirk of his lips, all the love one could contain threatening to burst through as he held his world between his fingertips—and the best part of him miles away but no further from the heart.

“You’re sweet, just like a certain someone we all miss,” he said, before kissing their foreheads and ruffling their hair, earning little grumbles of protest. Turning his attention back to the videocall, Xavier’s eyes softened. “How long until we can take naps together on the couch again?”

His partner sighed, glancing at the calender on the wall for a moment. “Should be three days. It’s hell without you guys. Maybe I’ve gotten used to waking you all up for an hour in the mornings.”

“Hey, it’s all because of Papa!”

“He does sleep in twice as long as us…”

“And it’s gotten even worse now that you’re gone.”

He chuckled at their sulking feeding off each other, and the collective agreement that things just weren’t the same when his lover wasn’t beside him where they belonged. “Then maybe this should be enough to convince them to hurry back to us so we can get up early every day, hmm?”

“Tell me why Luke and Kieran frantically called me up and told me stop you from endangering our one year old girl. Now.”

“Well, hello to you too, sweetie.” Sylus rolled his eyes at the clearly enthusiastic greeting. “I’ve missed you too. I’m doing good without you for two weeks. Thanks for asking.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t give me that crap. You’ll live.” Scoffing, they crossed their arms in front of their chest. “Less avoiding the topic, more explaining why your seconds in command are treating you like a ticking bomb.”

“They’re more like lackeys, you know.” A hint of irritation climbed up his spine. Luke and Kieran were more like lost puppies that would be a danger to themselves—and society—if they were left to their whims. That’s all that they were (or so he tried to convince himself).

They waved him off, knowing that his half-assed words weren’t to be taken seriously. “I beg to differ. Now, where is she and what happened?”

Silence settled for a few moments, but then he realized it wasn’t in his favor to not quickly come clean. “She was playing around with me in bed, then seemed fascinated by my left pocket. Said pocket… may or may not have had a gun.”

Leaning in close to the camera, they sighed heavily, and pinched the bridge of their nose. “And I’m assuming her magic little fingers found the trigger.”

“More or less yes,” he mumbled under his breath, swallowing thickly as he met their dead-eyed stare. “Had to whip it out and fling it across the room… which may or may not have caused it to slam into the new bookcase and send it toppling.”

It didn’t matter how many people he’d managed to fearlessly face down; pinned underneath his partner’s disapproval, he found himself unable to move. “And that’s where they came in?”

Sylus hummed, flipping the camera and showing them the fractured remains on the floor. “Sorry about that, sweetie. Didn’t have the time to clean it up, what with feeding her and getting her ready for bed.”

“It’s fine, I can build another one.” Their quick dismissal was followed by the furrowing of their eyebrows. “What matters is that you prioritized her safety first.”

“Of course,” he was quick to reply, turning the camera back to himself, before he chuckled a little, sweetness seeping through his voice, “Though I do admit, seeing her have no self-preservation instincts really did make her strikingly similar to you in that regard.”

“Really flattering, hearing you praise her brashness and compare it to mine.” Their expression then grew more serious, and they worried their bottom lip between their teeth. “But… please. Don’t keep any weapons in the same room as her. She’s naturally curious.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” he murmured, having had his dose of sheer panic at her tiny hands. He couldn’t remember a moment in his life when he’d been as terrified as he was earlier, his blood turning to ice at the thought of endangering her because of his own fast-paced life.

“I know you’ll be more careful. You’re so good to her—and me,” they quietly mused, a grateful look on their face as they admired him—tired ruby eyes, unruly silver hair, and all.

And Sylus had no control over his own lovesick stare, perfectly content with dancing in their palm for the rest of their lives. After all, he’d found the only two people in this world he could forfeit his life for. There was no shame in admitting it—and so he did, ever so softly. “I suppose you can take pride in knowing that you both have me wrapped around your fingers.”

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[ankh-morporkianpostalworker]

The reason that Aelwyn, Ragh, and Zayn work as Reformed Villains and Bad Kids is that Brennan put in the work to make us understand WHY they're redeemable.

Zayn was an orphan. He had no one, lived in a shitty apartment, and was exploited by the leader of an apocalyptic cult. He was powerless in every way a child can be, and when his usefulness expired he was cut down without mercy, murdered in cold blood. The Bad Kids learn this and treat him with compassion, helping him after the events of Freshman Year.

Ragh is a fundamentally good kid caught up in toxic people, who ended up mirroring that toxicity because he was afraid. Daybreak and Dayne didn't give a shit about him outside of his use as muscle, and when Ragh expressed his feelings for Dayne, Dayne bullied him back into the closet. When he's around people that care, Ragh flourishes into a kind, compassionate, caring young man who loves his friends and is so much fun to watch.

And Aelwyn. Holy shit, Aelwyn. The Golden Child manipulated and isolated from the one person who might understand her, who yearns for that connection and would die for it now that she has it (see: the season two finale). Watching her growth in season two was spellbinding, and her slipping and referring to Adaine as "just a baby" was next-level role-playing. She isn't healed yet, not fully, but she's trying to get there, to be a good big sister and role model. She's perhaps Brennan's best-realized NPC.

[dawnbreaker-mylove]

The loml Series

Warning Swearing Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Masterlist

It's eleven in the evening. You're sweating buckets from the humid summer air. Even with the fan on, it was barely helping. Outside, the hum of the cars drifts through your quaint town, even at this hour. It's been four months since you broke up with your long-term ex‐boyfriend who can never keep it in his pants, Fredrick, a name so fugly it matches his face. Since then, you've been sleeping around eight o'clock, but this morning, you made yourself an iced coffee with four shots of espresso. Seriously, how bored are you?

“Ugh, I can feel the heartburn,” you groaned aloud. Sighing in frustration, you pick up your phone to check the class group chat. The screen’s glow was blinding in the dark and silent room. As you scrolled through the conversations, there was nothing new. Just a group asking for help with their research assignment—typical. You checked the clock again: 11:11. Huh, you thought. This is the latest you've stayed up in forever. The stillness of the night was interrupted when your phone pinged a message.

Zayne?

“Hey,” the message read with the “typing” indicator flickering beneath.

You raised an eyebrow. Zayne is the typical quiet, smart kid at the back. But his looks were not so typical. His black hair was combed neatly, and his cool hazel green eyes didn't scream, ‘Haha, nerd.’ You figured he was the type to never meddle in class drama but knew everything if you asked nicely. He was the teachers’ favorite—no surprise there. The two of you never interacted unless it was for a group project. He isn't at all bad, you think. Awkward, maybe? But that didn't stop you from catching feelings for the guy. What would he need at this hour?

The little dots flicker rhythmically, indicating he’s still typing. Holy shit, dude, what does he need from you to be drafting a fucking novel? Impatient, you reply, “I don’t have money, boo.”

Now, your problem wasn't only sleep; Pookie just sent you a cryptic one-liner. What are you going to do with that? Your phone ping again and you think, finally, he's said something! But it wasn't what you expected.

“I like you.”

Your eyes widened, your brain struggling to process the message before you. Your fingers trembled as you typed, “Hahahahaha… Funny, bro. Seriously, what is it?”

You were surprised at how fast he replied this time: “You think… I'm joking?” The way he said it sounded serious in your head. Was he… angry? Or maybe annoyed that you thought it was a joke?

“Or you're a spy trying to pry information from me by winning my heart,” you replied. “Who knows? Could you be working for the government?!”

Well fuck, you thought. The guy you had been pining for was confessing to you? What kind of voodoo have you been unknowingly fucking with? But when you think about it, it makes your heart race and you doubted it was from the caffeine.

Your thoughts were cut off when your phone notified you once again. Zayne's message read, “I know this is all… out of character for me. You were probably asleep when I messaged.”

You couldn't help but chuckle at that, finding his awkwardness quite endearing, but you continued reading.

“I had planned this differently,” the next message read. “Forget it. I'm sorry to bother you.”

Your chest tightened when you read the last line. You recognized the feeling of being a bother all too well. But this—whatever Zayne has going on—is unexpectedly comforting. “Don't say that,” you typed. “I was just surprised, that's all.”

You scrolled back to his previous messages, rereading his confession and the mention of a plan. Ah, it made sense now. A few days ago, you had been sitting on one of the bleachers in the school gym. The rhythmic dribble of the basketball and the squeaks of the shoes echoed around you. It's the third day of the intramurals, and you were unimpressed. The players weren't exactly worth watching, and you wish you didn't have to waste your time just for attendance for a paper you were assigned to write.

Out of boredom, you looked around and behind you, flinching slightly. It was Zayne, walking by. Your eyes met briefly, his eyes widening slightly in what seemed to be surprise before he quickly tore his gaze away from you and hurried off. That was… odd, you thought. Was there something wrong?

“Holy shit!” You realized, going back to your phone. “So that's why you avoided me a few days ago!”

He had the audacity to react to your message with a “haha”. You couldn't help but find it amusing while also feeling a little betrayed at the same time. You should've seen it coming. “Son of a bitch,” you typed and added laughing emojis for good measure. “So you really did have a plan?”

You felt skittish as you watched the chat bubbles flicker on the screen, your mind racing with so many scenarios. “I did,” Zayne replied. “I was going to tell you then. I was just too much of a coward to approach you.” Cute, you thought, your heart fluttering. Your smile faded and your eyebrows rose when you read his next message. “You just looked too beautiful.”

“Fuck!” You threw your phone across the bed and hid your flushed face into a pillow, your body trembling with giddy elation. After settling down, you retrieved your phone. “Thanks. Also, good timing. I don't think I can sleep tonight lol.”

“I don't mind keeping you company,” he replied instantly. “But may I ask why?” You blinked at the message, his eagerness had you both amused and flustered

You snorted, shaking your head as you recalled grabbing a tumbler, ice, and brewing yourself multiple espressos. After you had explained what happened, Zayne texted, “You know that's very unhealthy if you take that much caffeine every day.”

“Okay, first off, you cannot judge my life choices—I do that already. Second, think of it as a sign from the universe. Maybe we were meant to talk around this time.”

Zayne took a while to reply this time, making you wonder if you said the wrong thing. Relief washed over you when his message finally. “You're probably right, it read. So… Do you believe me now?”

You couldn't help but smile. When he said he was acting out of character earlier, he wasn't joking. “Yeah, I believe you,” you replied though a flicker of doubt lingered. You couldn't help it; deep down, a small part of you refused to believe it. Of course, you didn't say that. Instead, you change the topic. “What are you doing right now?”

“I'm on a walk,” he replied.

“Huh?” You typed out, followed by the emoji with the open-mouth smile and blank stare. “At midnight?!” you added, incredulous.

Zayne reacted to your message with another laugh, leaving you a little confused. It was as if he was telling you he does this every night. “Don't worry. I do this almost every night,” he types and it confirms your suspicion. “I also got so nervous, I had to leave the house. I'm still trembling, mind you.”

“Why are you nervous?!” You typed, shocked. To you, Zayne always seemed calm and composed, like nothing fazed him. “I'm sorryyyy…” you added, guilt creeping in.

This time, instead of a laughing emoji, Zayne reacted with a green heart. “Don't worry,” he typed. “I should be the one asking for an apology. I caught you off guard.”

“Aren't most confessions like that??” you replied, smirking slightly at your screen.

“Right,” Zayne said and you could almost feel him smile on the other end. He went quiet for a moment, leaving you to wonder if he was still there mustering the courage to say something. Finally, his message appeared, your name followed by, “Would you like to go out with me tomorrow evening?”

“Yes!” you shouted, sitting up abruptly. The sudden motion made you lightheaded, forcing you to lie back down until you didn't see black.

Without hesitation, you typed, “Of course. I'd love to go anywhere with you.”

That last message was risky, yes. But he did say he liked you, so you couldn't help but wonder what he was feeling. Was he kicking his feet like you? Squealing with excitement? Or was he just his usual calm, aloof self?

A notification ping snapped you back to reality and your cheeks heated up when you read his message: “Perfect. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.”

“Me too,” you replied with a stupid grin plastered on your face. Afterward, Zayne mentioned he'd arrived back home. When you insisted he get some sleep—it was nearly three in the morning—he finally gave in. “Good night,” he sent, adding a pensive emoji. “Get some sleep too.”

“I will,” you replied. “Goodnight, Zayne.”

After sending the message and confirming he wasn't typing anymore, you turn your phone off and place it on your chest, right over your heart. Your smile stretched wide, cheeks still hot from the whole exchange. That's when it hit you—you wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

“Fuck,” you said aloud.

A/N: Izz finally hereee... Please tell me if you ever experienced something similar because I doubt this is an original experience. I hope Zayne is still in character to you guys. It feels rushed, I know. Lemme know what you think :D

[around1302]

XVII. YOU HAVE ME

SPARE PARTS: a series (17/20)

BOLOGNE, ITALY

(W) strong language, family restraints, alcohol use, fingering

good lord this has taken me some time to finish. i’m so sorry, life just got in the way. hopefully 4.3k of a smidge of angst and a fuck-ton of fluff makes up for it!

HARRY’S POV

“What’s the move for tonight?”

“You can do what you want, I’m taking Charlie out.”

Niall’s usual grin twists into a smirk, his eyes glinting. I resist the urge to roll my own.

I am taking Charlie out. Not that she necessarily knows that yet.

I don’t mean to sound like a desperate man, but I need Charlie and I to move on like I need air. I can feel her warming to the idea of me, but at the end of the day she still just sees me as her annoying bandmate who’s up to giving her an orgasm or two. 

I need to be more than that to her. I can’t be either nothing or just her temporary fix.

And if there’s one thing that’s apparent about Charlie, it’s that she’s a hopeless romantic. She doesn’t crave sneaking around and fleeting glances and meaningless moments. I’ve seen her face light up more from seeing a couple holding hands in public than when I’ve been literally going down on the girl.

In fact, in the time I’ve known her, she’s only ever dated one person – Zayn, which is also why this could get messy.

(But fuck him. I was there first).

“I’d love to say I’m surprised about this whole thing, but I’m really not.” Niall snorts.

I narrow my eyes, but before I can ask anymore questions, the guys barge into Niall’s suite.

“Fuckin’ Hell, Horan. You have it fancy in here.” Louis gawks far too loudly for the fancy establishment we’re in, but I have to say, I share the sentiment. We all have nice rooms (it’s the most expensive hotel in Bologne, for God’s sake) but Niall managed to bag da Vinci’s fucking shrine. 

Niall shrugs, sitting up with that mischievous flicker in his eyes.

“Lia still out?”

“Yeah,” Liam explains, “she’s dragging Charlie and Zayn round the shops. Tried to rope us in but we managed to escape.”

My chest tightens. I force it to relax.

Liam throws his legs up on the Ottoman, stretching out. After the show last night, we’re all exhausted. After nearly four months of touring, non stop performing and the consequential non stop partying, we’re all wiped the fuck out. It’s why Niall and I said no to their little day trip around Italy. To put it frankly: I can’t be arsed with the tourism shit when there’s a mini bar five feet away from me up here.

“Good,” Niall reaches behind him, pulling a small velvet box from his pocket.

“What the fuck is that?” I spit.

“This, my friend,” Niall flicks the box open. My suspicions are confirmed, “is about to get me the best head I’ve ever had.”

“Holy shit.” Louis grabs the diamond, making Niall fly up and snatch it back. 

“For real?” Liam stands too, while I’m still sat in shock.

“Why I got this fancy suite,” Niall’s as giddy as a kid on Christmas, “want to do it tonight. Italy’s always been her favourite place and I figure–”

“You’re twenty-one.” “Twenty-two this year.”

I scowl. Niall’s cheeky grin droops.

“Oh come on, man. Who cares how old we are? I know I’m gonna be with this girl till I’m all old and gross and grey, why not seal the deal now?”

“Because it’s insane!” I splutter. I’m not angry. Am I? Why am I angry?

“Hardly,” Louis sharply laughs, “they’ve been basically married since they met.”

“Okay, but being basically married and being actually married are two very different things.”

“Dude, don’t you think I know that? I have thought about this, you know.”

My jaw tightens.

My best friend is about to propose to his girlfriend, and I can’t say I’ve ever even had one. The girl I’ve been in lo– whatever. It doesn’t matter. The point is, I can narrow my anger down to one, ugly thing: bitter fucking jealousy. 

So, I do the mature thing; I storm out.

Luckily for me, the second I step out into the hallway – all heaving chest and unnecessary frustration – Charlie, Amelia and Zayn bump into me. They’re all laughing about something, a million shopping bags between them.

“Oh, hey man–” Zayn starts, but I cut him off by grabbing Charlie’s waist and pushing her in the direction of my room. The sliver of skin given to me below her crop top sends a spike through my spine. 

I don’t care that Zayn is probably about to start quizzing Amelia to no end, all I care about is the universe quite literally handing me the only person I want to talk to right now.

“Yo, what the fuck?” She twists, staring at me with what I assume is a mixture of vexation and confusion, but I’m too busy staring ahead to notice. Charlie doesn’t make a move to escape my grip (something I know she’s more than capable of doing), so I keep walking us to my room. 

I messily scan my keycard and grab her shopping, setting it down as carefully as I can in my haste before closing the door with her body. 

There’s something else I want to do before talk.

But, I hesitate for a moment, brushing my lips against hers. I silently ask for permission, pulling her toward me so her lower back lifts from the door and our torsos press together. She hesitates, too. Brushing her nose against mine before kissing me with as much urgency as I got her into the room with. 

I sigh into her mouth, completely wrapping my arms around her back to hold her flush against me. “Missed you,” I mumble against her lips, trailing my hand up to hold the back of her head. I rake my fingers through her hair, loosening her ponytail. 

“Missed you too.” She gasps, looping her fingers through my belt hooks.

I nearly let myself smile, but then she palms me over my jeans.

Quickly, I hold her wrist, preventing me from dragging her to bed and insisting we don’t leave my hotel room all night. “Go out with me.” I let the words tumble like a subconscious spill, letting my chest do all the work so my brain doesn’t have to. 

Frowning, she pulls back. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I want to rewind and let her do whatever she wants with me. Why the Hell did I–

“Go out with you?” She’s smiling. She’s smiling.

“Yeah,” I feel my cheeks heating. I’m getting shy, for fuck’s sake. I don’t do shy. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve said those four words over the years, and I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve said it to. I don’t recall nerves ever being a factor in that habit.

“You realise I’m a sure thing, right?” She cocks her head, and I want to kiss the faint dimple that pops beside her lips. I settle for her bottom lip.

“I want to take you out.” I pull her lip between my teeth, bathing in the way she sighs. “Properly.”

“You’re having me on.”

“Nope,” I pop. I need to banish this shy thing. Fuck the shy thing. I realise our proximity might have something to do with that, so I step away, flicking the light on so I can see her properly. 

Her cheeks are rosy and her eyes are dark and her hair is mussed and– and shit. I’m so gone on this girl. She folds her arms across her shirt, and that’s when I notice the shirt. It’s my shirt – the one I gave her weeks ago, the band she claims to hate, the shirt I’ve dreamt about fucking her in ever since. 

The shirt which now rests just below her bra. 

“Oh,” she clocks my thought process – probably because I’m staring at her chest – and fumbles with the messy hem. “Shit, sorry. I never even asked if you wanted it back–”

“Never.” I murmur.

A pause. “What?”

I blink back to reality, back to her eyes. “I never wanted it back,” I clear my throat, try and regain some conviction, “the band sucks anyway.” I wink, she chuckles.

God, maybe we should just stay here. We could order room service and continue our theme of fucking in hotel showers and spend all night getting sweatier and sweatier in between the sheets and–

No! No. I need to take her out. 

“Be ready by seven.” 

I bend to pick up her shopping, handing it back. Charlie takes the bags slowly, looking at me like I just told her my name’s actually Bill.

Then, softly, nearly meekly, she whispers, “I thought we had rules?”

My lungs stop working. “We did. We do.”

Right – I’m not even considering her right now. I know what I want, and I know I want it badly. I need to learn I can’t just demand this. Sure, I’ve waited six years, but she sure as shit doesn’t know that.

Patience is a bitch.

She looks at me, scrutinising, studying. I want to read her mind, it seems to all work so complicated up there. A million bolts and cogs working tirelessly; I’d give it all up for just a peek. 

“I suppose I’d be pretty stupid to deny we’re at least friends at this point, right?”

I can breathe again. “Right.” I rush to say.

“So… dinner as friends. Yeah?”

“Absolutely.” No, fuck no. “Bonding time.”

She purses her lips, seemingly amused. Nodding, she swivels from the door, palm wrapped around the handle and about to let me stand in my room and punch the air but…

“You sure you don’t want me to help you out first?”

Her eyes flicker accusingly at my crotch. Specifcally, my hard on, from just kissing the girl.

It’s like I’m fucking fifteen again.

I snort, pushing my tongue against my cheek to stop the habitual impulse to say something inappropriate. I want to scream yes, God, yes but I can’t. Charlie’s like some kind of kryptonite – one handjob will turn into one blowjob will turn into round after round after round.

“I’m good, love.”

Charlie scowls. “You’re really just going to try every nickname in the book, aren’t you?”

“That’s the plan, sweet pea.”

“You’re ridiculous,” she swings the door open, so before it slams behind her I shout a reminding,

“Seven!”

And then I stand in my room, and punch the air. 

“Jesus, Styles, this place is fancy.”

I smirk. “Only the best for a princess.”

“Hey–”

“I’m kidding! Here,” I let go of the small of Charlie’s back to pull her chair out for her, “sit, before you hit me.”

“I can still reach you from over here.”

I playfully roll my eyes as I take my seat. She definitely can. I made sure to get us a table hidden away, close enough for our legs to accidentally tangle and far enough away from anyone else Charlie doesn’t need to worry about people.

She’s always panicked about mobs. The first one was pretty traumatic I guess, and ever since she’s been the overly cautious one in public. Never seen without heavy glasses and an even heavier hoodie, so I made sure she wouldn’t be spending our first date (that is what I’m declaring that is, friends or not) in fear.

It’s not conceited if saying your name for a last minute res at one of the most established restaurants in Bolonge works. Fame has it’s perks, I’m allowed to admit that.

… I think.

Within a few seconds, a waiter comes over with a bottle of red I preorded on the phone. Charlie leans back, looking at me quizzitivley as he pours us both a glass and leaves the rest between us. We thank the waiter, and I gauge her reaction.

A pause. My heart awaiting a beat.

“I’m impressed.” She raises her brows, a glimmer of a smile on her rouge lips.

“Good,” I lift my glass, clinking it against hers before we both take a sip.

I let my eyes properly roll over her for the first time since I met her outside the hotel. It was too dark and too much of a rush to the car for me to drink her in, and God. She looks fucking edible. She’s wearing a strapless dress that lets my wind wander to every inch of skin I can kiss with her still in the thing – but, Jesus, stop. 

Tonight isn’t about that.

Quiet falls on us, because, well. What do we talk about if not for the security of sex or argument, if not for the safety net of anyone else around us? Here, we’re uninterrupted. In fact, no. We’re not anything.

We’re two people on a first date. We’re fresh.

“You know,” Charlie chuckles to herself, setting her glass down and leaning on her palms, “I love trying to figure out the other people at restaurants like this. Like, okay, that couple,” she nods behind me, so I try and turn as discreetly as I can. She hits my leg. “Don’t be so obvious!” She hisses behind a smile.

I’ve just gone and made things worst myself by taking Charlie out, haven't I?

“That couple is on their first date, and he’s trying to figure out how to leave.”

“And how do you know that, Sherlock?”

Charlie shrugs and leans back to take another sip.

“I know people. He’s fidgeting like crazy, looked at the bathroom like five times in the past thirty seconds. For sure planning his escape.”

“Or he just really needs a shit.”

Charlie snorts into her glass, spraying wine onto her cheeks. I guffaw, and both of us fall into laughter too loud for an establishment like this. “Fuck, my makeup.” Charlie taps at her cherry stains aimlessly, so I lean across with my napkin.

“Here, hold still,” I chuckle, pinching her chin between my fingers and trying to get as much grapejuice from her face. In the midst of the scene, our waiter returns.

“Are you… oh.” He clears his throat, and we pause to look up.

“We might need a few more minutes.” I mumble. Charlie grins sheepishly.

Yeah, okay, maybe it is conceited – but thank God we do what we do, because judging by the compressed scowl on the guy’s face as he leaves us, we were one 0 in our bank accounts away from being kicked out.

As I’m wiping at her face, our eyes lock, and the words tumble out before I can think about what I’m saying.

“Niall’s proposing to Amelia.”

She gasps. I sit back.

Silence holds us, until a slowly whispered, “shit,” punctures it.

“Yeah.”

I see her reach for her wine. Then she downs it.

“So I told my mum Gemma was a drug dealer. Of course my mum was like, Harry, she’s nine. But it was the worst thing I could come up with at six years old.”

Charlie throws her head back at the story of myself and my sister, one of my favourite memories to relay. I stab my fork in my pasta and try and muffle my grin as Charlie giggles away.

“I never thought you’d be the type to take WWF wrestling so personally.” 

I shrug. “I was a dedicated fan. I still refuse to believe it’s staged.”

Her laughter dies, and she gets this sort of gone off look in her eyes. Like she’s thinking about something, someone, and then it hits me – I’ve been sat here reeling off stories about my sister without any regard for the fact she no longer has hers. 

“You know,” she shifts, eyes dropped to her plate. She pushes a piece of broccoli around with her silverware, chewing on her lip. Then, her voice gets quiet, small, when she admits, “I don’t think my parents have called me one time this whole tour.”

She chuckles to herself, but it’s void of any humour.

“They did their usual prayer for my safety before I left, and rang to see if I had changed my mind, but…”

I dip my head to meet her eye. She looks up at me, meekly. Like tears are threatening to spill but she’s using every muscle to hold them back. I’m so terrible in situations like this, I never say the right thing because, truthfully, people don’t often open up to me.

(Not like this, at least.)

So, I go with my gut, and pray it doesn’t betray me.

“Pretend I’m your parents.”

Charlie piques. “What?”

Confidence begins to slip from me, evident in the way I mess with my hair and twist my rings beneath the table. “Pretend I’m your parents,” I repeat – despite the out she just gave me.

“This apart of that daddy kink you were talking about?” She smiles smally. 

“No,” I lilt. “Tell me about tour. Look,” I sit up straight, bringing my hair forward and cracking my neck. Getting into character. I lift my hand to my ear, pretending to be on the phone. “Hi sweetie, how’s tour going?”

Charlie snorts. “That supposed to be my mum?”

“I’ve never met the woman, go with it.”

She rolls her eyes, but she sits up and lifts her hand, too.

“Hi mum. It’s fine.”

“Fine? Come on, you’ve been away for months.”

She sighs, giving me that look through those lashes. I lift my brows.

“It’s been amazing, actually.”

I smile. We’re getting somewhere.

“Everyone really likes our album,” she continues, “and I started banging the one with long hair you always tell me I need to stay away from.”

“Heey,” I drop the ‘phone’. She looks pointedly at my hand. I raise it again.

She heaves a breath, her expression stone again.

“I wish you’d try and understand my job a little more. I think you’d see what I’m doing is actually really cool if you took the time.”

My chest aches. I knew Charlie had a strained relationship with her parents, I just never knew why. They’d never come to shows, she would never mention them. I don’t even remember them sitting with her at Poppy’s funeral.

Maybe when Charlie blamed herself for her sister’s death, her parents did too.

“You were wrong, by the way.”

I got so lost in my own anger I forgot we were doing this.

“Wrong?” I ask. 

“About the dude with long hair. He’s actually alright.”

I couldn’t let this night end.

We practically got kicked out of the restaurant when we wound up being the last two in there, and then we stumbled our way to my hotel room and have been laid on the bed giggling over nothing for the last hour.

Red wine is strong shit.

So far, I’ve learnt Charlie hates the colour purple, secretly loves 90s horror and sometimes worries she made a mistake by going to that audition six years ago.

“I just want a dog, y’know?”

“You can have a dog.” I laugh.

“No, no,” she flips, her hair messily cascading her shoulders as she hovers above me. I let the wine guide my hand, tucking a strand or two behind her ear. She leans into my palm. “I want a dog, and a spouse, and a kid.”

I caress her cheek, and then she lays her face completely on my chest. I freeze, watching in awe as she shifts so her legs hang off the bed and her head is on the spaces were my shirt gives way to my skin. Charlie tilts her head, closing her eyes when my fingers find home on her scalp.

I just want this, I want to scream.

“What?”

Fuck. Wait. Did I not think that?

The domestic bliss lasts all of ten seconds before she’s sitting up again.

I’m at a loss for words. I’m sure she’s going to leave, that I just fucked up this whole night, but then she’s climbing a top of me. My hands instinctively fly to her thighs, holding her close through the silk while she assesses me from above, her hair a curtain.

“You want friends with benefits forever? That’s your end goal?” She sounds amused, so I can’t tell if she’s being serious or not. I want to shout, is that all I am? Even after today, after everything?

I’m better at holding in my thoughts this time, though.

“You really think we can ever be friends?”

Then, she sighs and straightens. Her hair no longer tickling my neck.

“Jesus, you’re confusing. I thought that was why you took me out in the first place!”

This girl will be the death of me.

“Okay, Charlie,” I sit up, gripping her waist to pull her against me. I feel her chest huff out against mine in three quick, fluttering motions. “Let me be crystal clear,” I cradle her face, now, just brushing her bottom lip. She leans into my touch again, and I feel every ounce of self-doubt fade away with the sigh she lets out. I knock my nose against hers.

“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”

Charlie rushes to say, “You have me,” whilst fisting at my shirt.

As much as I want that to be true, I know she doesn’t believe those words in the same way I want to believe them. So, I stifle a breathy chuckle, shaking my head.

“I don’t think I do.” My throat stutters at the word baby. I haven’t tried that one out yet.

“What do you mean? I’m right here.”

Charlie looks genuinely confused, which I suppose is the problem. The problem I created. I pull back, sinking into her brown eyes till I’m sure I’ve turned to stone. All I’ve wanted for the last six years is to hear Charlie say those words: you have me. Yet, in this moment, I realise I’ve gone about all of this completely wrong.

“I want a redo.” I barely whisper, insecure in my words.

“A redo?”

I quickly lick my lips. “Of everything.” I thumb at her jaw. “I fucked it all up, Charlie.”

“Fucked what up?” She deadpans, clearly tired of my inexplicability.

“You. Me. Us. This.” 

Charlie shorts out a huff, as if she’s finally got it.

“We didn’t know this would end up happening–”

“I knew.”

I let my confession barrel before me. If I scare her off, then fuck it. I scare her off. But she needs to know. She needs to know that,

“I’ve wanted you since we were sixteen and you shouted at me for being late to our first recording. I knew the minute you stood there in your stupid scarf and your even stupider boots that I was going to have it bad for you and I’ve not known what to do with it since.”

Charlie looks startled, but she’s unmoving from my lap, so I take it as a sign to keep going.

“I thought that you’d always hate me,” my throat swells, “so I’ve been a prick to you and I… especially after Zayn, I just didn’t…” I shake my head, looking down, losing myself.

It’s the wine, that’s all that’s fuelling this sudden, dumb confession. The wine and the fact that right now my best friend is probably engaged. But, then...

Charlie lifts my chin.

Charlie hesitates.

Charlie’s eyes flick back and forth between mine.

Charlie kisses me.

I kiss back with force, pouring everything I couldn’t say into her lips. I hold the back of her head, moaning against her tongue as she pushes me back to the pillow and grips my shirt so hard it pulls nearly painfully against my back.

And then she stops.

“Zayn told me after Amsterdam he loves me.”

Just found the quickest way to kill a boner.

“Oh.” Is all I can say, apparently.

“But I don’t…” she trails off, her eyes dropping to my lips. “I don’t love him.”

“Okay.” I whisper. 

My insides are having a fucking party, right now.

“That doesn’t mean I love you.” She rushes to clarify. I smile.

“I know.”

“But you are the first person I think about when I wake up. And when I go to sleep. And while that’s confusing because most of the time you piss me off, you don’t seem to do that anymore.”

I try not to sound so excited as I respond. “At all?”

“I mean, don’t push it.”

I chuckle, brushing her hair from her face. But then a dreadful pit starts to hole its way through my stomach, and I have to ask,

“You’re not just saying this because you want a dog?”

Charlie smiles against my lips. “I want you, Harry.” One sweet, chaste kiss. “I’m not thinking about the dog right now.” 

I lean up to kiss her, flipping her onto her back. My hand slips under her dress, and her breath hitches. “Good,” I breathe against her mouth, rubbing her over her knickers. Her gasp travels to the back of my throat, and I swallow it, keep it, store it, run it over and over in my mind as I push her pants to the side and curl my middle finger in her.

“Stay the night?” I ask, adding my index finger.

“Oh,” Charlie moans, her head tipping back. I kiss her throat, “yes.”

“Yes, you’ll stay the night?” I nip at her neck, losing myself in vanilla and Merlot.

“Yes, Harry,” she pulls my face up, “just assume from now on I will always– fuck, stay the night.”

I grin. Her nails dig into my nape as I pull my fingers out and rub her clit. 

“God, like that,” she breathes as I push my finger down harder, tuning myself to every gasp and moan she gives me. I kiss her through her orgasm, muffling her cries with my mouth despite wanting the entirety of Italy to hear how pretty she sounds when she comes.

“Always so good for me, baby.” I murmur, gripping her thigh as I shift my weight and move her core to my own thigh, still covered by the overpriced trousers I asked Amelia to find for me. She bucks her hips, capturing my bottom lip between her teeth. I whimper.

“Baby,” she breathes questioningly. “I like that one.”

taglist: @lilfreakjez @be-with-me-so-happily @sirtommyholland @tpwksm @b-reads-things @tiaamberxx @daphnesutton @mleestiles

[bandsanitizer]

I listened to zayn’s album ROOM UNDER THE STAIRS (finally lol) and have a list of notes on my reactions to the listening process. overall? probably my favorite album by him. I love this sound from him, it’s definitely different than his previously releases and I think it touches possibly on genre in a way that he needed the time to reach and I love that for him. absolutely no skips for me and every track just kind of kept getting better. thank you @calumthoodshands for encouraging me to listen

false starts & shoot at will are probably my favorite tracks. overall give this album a 9/10? could maybe 9.5-10/10 but i haven’t looked at the lyrics (nor did I really analyze them in the listening process)

i’m too lazy to make sentences so pls have my notes as I was listening to the album, below

DREAMIN

drums drums drums

piano & the bridge!!

that high note?!? ad libs!

WHAT I AM

he sings like he has a mustache

the bridge agaaaain

oh that change in tone for the last chorus

GRATEFUL

layered vocals at the beginning of the chorus

the oooos

ohhhh that guitar. a very nice contrast

obsessed with the guitar actually

ALIENATED

acoustic guitar my beloved

clapping?? my beloved

the way he sings “disconnect”

falsetto!!

it’s giving first dance type of track

a xylophone!!!!??!!!!!!!!

MY WOMAN

the opening like damn you know this dude used to be in one direction lol

that low note!!!!!!!!

zayn and luke would collab so well me thinks

i’m a very big fan of the drums on this album

HOW IT FEELS

ok right of the bat this might be a favorite

the guitar

the color and sound to his voice

the way he sings words >>>>>>

STARDUST

oh I fr need a zayn and luke collab

this chorus is so pretty

vibraphone??!!!!

this might be my favorite instead

the electric guitar coming in!!

the chorus!!!!!!!! the chorus!!!!

GATES OF HELL

this guitar. not really a sound I expected

oh the kick layered here >>>>

BIRDS ON A CLOUD

yeah the drums on this albums are !!!!

fucking love the sound of real drums

the melodic part of the guitar

the filter!!!!!!!!!!

CONCRETE KISSES

“all I wanted was a cup of coffee” felt that

this guitar!!!! love this sound

percussion is *chef’s kiss* vibraphone!

very big fan of how well the sonic of the album and album cover art go together

the transition into the bridge unmatched

FALSE STARTS

oh jk about all the rest this track is >>>>>>

holy fuck favorite automatically

like one second in I know I love it

and then it just keeps getting better

this guitar sound

this vocal sound

THE DRUMS!!!!

OMG WHAT THE SHIT

IM GONNA CRY ITS SO GOOD

LIKE TEARING UP ITS SO GOOD

bye this is the best song ever

no one is doing it like zayn

ohhhh the way it opens up at the beginning of the last chorus like smoking hitting the floor and spreading???!?!!!

THE TIME

guitar tone is very very nice

the rasp in the vocals

the instrumental for the chorus is superior

THE HIGH NOTE

zayn knows how to make an album seriously

and his bridges are!!!!!!!

SOMETHING IN THE WATER

love me a scratchy guitar sound

“atmosphere” WHAT THE FUCK

wait what the fuck is that drop & filter for water

the way zayn sings words

idk what the fuck that noise is after the chorus but I love it

SHOOT AT WILL

guitar like BEEN A LOT OF PLACES

im kidding

mostly

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE

“history pulling me back”

BITCH THE GUITAR SOUND IS TOTALLY INTENTIONAL FOR THIS ONE

emotionally attached to this song can’t explain it fully

FUCHSIA SEA

the intro of all intros

this song has such a fitting title and that’s all I can say

vibraphone again?

this song feels quintessentially zayn

[bitchapalooza]

Okay so “Is love the answer” by Uta Isaki is making A LOT of feelings from my freshman year bubble up. Making me fucking emotional. In a good way. Because that kid— he would have fucking loved this book. A bit of jumbled ranting below I guess because holy shit I feel so good about myself despite the hurt I’d been through.

I can’t remember the exact moment I began questioning, but I do remember just wondering why I don’t find other people attractive. Why I don’t have the urge to date.

I always thought back to my One Direction phase where Zayn was my favorite member. But while my friends liked a particular member because of their attraction to them, I liked Zayn because his hair looked cool. I didn’t get why my friend found them hot or when she admitted kissing her 1D poster to me.

I ended up researching it and found the Asexual definition. Read it over and over for days to weeks. I found out my sibling was bisexual and felt compelled to confind in them this plausible fact about myself on our way to the bus stop to go home. It felt good to get out because it felt real.

Then one day we’re in trouble because their friend, who was giving us a ride home, decided to give his other friend a ride home. And stayed there at her house talking for about an hour. I kept asking and asking when we’d leave because I had homework to do and get up at 5:00 to catch the bus at 7:00 am. Finally after mom calls and yells at my sibling and demands their friend takes us home immediately. When we got home, we were both in trouble, but mostly my sibling. Then everything turned on me when they outed me. “And what the fuck does that mean!?” After that I just. Forgot all about asexuality. Forgot how familiar it felt to me. I repressed it and started forcing myself to think about dating— which eventually got me deep into fandom shipping. Then convincing myself I was pansexual despite obviously not being sexually attracted to people. Even though I told myself it felt like the right definition, it never really was. I couldn’t relate to my friends who talked about dating either or both genders.

Reading about Chika’s thoughts and feels feel so fucking liberating. Her wishing to be normal is all I ever felt. I’m so damn happy I found this book just RANDOMLY while searching for art books and around the Fire Force section. I still don’t quite understand myself because my stupid body is full of these stupid hormones causing me to get confused on the whole matter, but in the back of my mind I still think of being aroace. It feels right to me even though everyone around me makes it feel as though it’s not. Like I’m broken and need to just force myself into dating and sexual relationships.

Like when I really think about having sex, I feel uncomfortable. Because I don’t want to kiss anyone. I don’t want someone to touch my chest. I’m not against platonic touch. I don’t know about intimate touch because it’s never happened and I’ve never sought it out either.

I honestly like that this book has caused a lot more questions to myself. I think this is what freshman year Sunni could have benefited from in order to make himself feel better and confident in himself.

[desertgremlin]

Yo, I swear we are the same person. I was a Zayn girlie too! Did we talk about this? He by far had and still has the best voice out of anyone in 1D.

I know there has been talk of him being weird and shady and that's why I do not follow or support celebrities as much as I can. But I always smirk when people say Harry is the most talented because I'm like, Mr. Malik is literally RIGHT there!

Also, I totally forgot that list of movies I sent lol. I def have accumulated more to give you so I have plenty to share 🤣🤣🤣 I literally just watched Chicago for the first time last night, speaking of womens' wrongs. I'm sure you've seen it but holy shit am I late. I don't even like musicals like that but I loved it. Catherine Zeta-Jone and Queen Latifah are babes! So amazing and so talented. Honestly, like all the people in the movie hit it out of the park.

And that's funny you just got your license too. The best girls take their time!!!

I'm so excited for to watch Slow Horses. Gary Oldman is in and I know people feel very iffy about him (rightly so) but I really wanna know what you think about River 🤣🤣🤣. God, I seriously need to catch up on so many things! Shadow and Bone and GoL and Yellowjackets just premiered last night and now Succession is back tomorrow. I am drowning in televison!!! (Not that I'm complaining lol)

Girl, were we separated at birth?!?! I don't think we've talked about this! His voice really is *chef's kiss*. It would have been cool if his career took off better and if he didn't get into all that controversy but alas...

Oh I love it, the ultimate womens' wrongs movie! It's been years since I've seen Chicago but the songs will never get old to me. Throw on Cell Block Tango and I will be belting it. I low-key was a theatre kid in high school or like,, theatre-kid adjacent hahah so I love a good musical.

Okay, once I finish Shadow and Bone I'll start Slow Horses. Have you seen Daisy Jones and the Six?? That's also on my list... we're truly drowning in television 😂

I always see gifs of Succession on my dash and I am thissss close to watching it even though I know I'll be so behind AND that I don't have time dskjgdsg. What's a girl to do 😩😩

[allwaswell16]

{Recently Read 1D Fics}

September 2021

These are all the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in September. There are 17 recs here in all! You can listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 in September including the fics on this month’s fic roundup which you can find here! Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!

Fanfictional Podcast #29 | ko-fi | fic recs

-Larry-

Hold You Now by @solvetheminourdreams

(M, 131k, ex-fwb, British Louis, American Harry, PR specialist to freelancer Harry, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, consultant to recruiter Louis, travel, slow burn, flashbacks, pining, lack of communication, no cheating, mild smut, a MUST READ emotional journey)

Three years ago, Harry Styles said goodbye to communications consultancy firm McQuiston Worldwide, leaving a life of travel and agency PR behind.

Know a Trick or Two by SadaVeniren / @sadaveniren

(E, 44k, Harry Potter au, magic, mpreg, one night stand, accidental pregnancies, mpreg Louis, mpreg Harry, muggle Harry, wizard Louis, quidditch player Louis, time jump, kid fic, Hogwarts, smut, so much fun!)

the one where Muggle Harry and Wizard Louis have a one night stand and get more than they bargained out of it.

Compass to my Soul by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 31k, canon, a/b/o, omega Louis, alpha Harry, touring, angst, hurt/comfort, omega drop, touch deprivation, alcohol, cuddling, miscommunication, nesting, touring, no smut, I cried the whole way through because Louis is so vulnerable and sad, help I'm sad just thinking about it but also I loved it)

Louis Tomlinson, omega, is 1/5 of world famous boy band One Direction. He spends his time hoping his bandmates don’t notice him.

Not Ready for This by @berzerkshires

(E, 18k, kid fic, single parent Louis, single parent Harry, dual pov, summer, secret relationship, smut, loved the dialogue and they were having way too much fun sneaking around lol)

Louis and Harry are both single fathers and their children decide to go out on a date.

Man, Deconstructed by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(E, 13k, sculptor Harry, artist Harry, strangers to lovers, misunderstandings, mistaken identity, stress baker Harry, disaster gay Harry, embarrassing situation, meet cute kind of lol, smut, bh, this was absolutely hilarious and embarrassing lol)

the one where a well-meaning best mate, a sculpture-worthy arse, and a heaping dose of misunderstanding combine to create sheer and utter chaos, and also, maybe, the best thing Harry’s ever found.

One Vote Can Rock the Boat by @2tiedships2

(M, 12k, a/b/o, alpha Harry, omega Louis, protective Harry, strangers to lovers, NYC, placing bets, oral sex, knotting, smut, whew this was hot)

the one where Omega Louis shows off his “I voted” sticker as one of the first 100 customers to get a free vibrator. The beautiful alpha behind the counter informs him that he’s customer 101.

My Sun and Stars, Moon of my Life by@ohharold

(M, 7k, Game of Thrones au, arranged marriage, dragons, fantasy, violence, mpreg Harry, smut, never read/saw GOT but this was very cool)

Harry was used to the luxuries of Kings Landing and then Pentos but when his brother is desperate for the crown he is entitled to, Harry must be part of an arranged marriage to a ruthless Khal of a Dothraki tribe.

baby I'll never leave (if you keep holding me this way) by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(T, 6k, lockdown au, teacher Louis, baker Harry, strangers to lovers, accidental breaking and entering, motorcycle, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort, no smut, so lovely)

It is singing. Whoever is trying to rob him is in his kitchen, singing an eighties pop song under their breath. And they made cookies?

Call Me, Beep Me, If You Wanna Reach Me by therogueskimo

(NR, 6k, uni au, Brits in the U.S., strangers to lovers, first date, first kiss, embarrassing situation, pining, humor, Siri, so cute and funny)

“Will Harry Styles ever text me?” Louis looked back at Liam and Liam just smirked at him.

Birthday Princess by @kingsofeverything

(E, 4k, bartender Louis, Harry's birthday, alcohol, micropenis, oral sex, meet cute, semi-public sex, car sex, smut, funny and sweet and hot all at the same time)

Harry celebrates his birthday with Blow Jobs (and Slippery Nipples and Sex on the Beach) and drunkenly propositions the bartender in the bathroom.

Scent Partner by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

(E, 4k, a/b/o, alpha Louis, omega Harry, strangers to lovers, pwp, heat, scenting, smut, meep!)

If both parties agree, they meet at a heat room for the omega’s heat.

The Cake Fairy by @homosociallyyours

(G, 2k, Harry/Louis, baking, flirting, slice of life, baker Harry, fluff, cute and fun!)

When Louis' attempt at making a Barbie princess cake is a huge, messy fail, Liam suggests he call in The Cake Fairy.

truth or dare by @jaerie

(E, 2k, strangers to lovers, truth or dare, alcohol, size difference, micropenis, size kink, smut, woah holy shit lol)

Harry likes small dicks. He finds a stranger that has one.

Take Me Home by SunTomato / @sun-tomato

(NR, 2k, uni au, roommates, banter, ot5, friendship, time jumps, no smut, really sweet)

Moving house sucks. Of course, it doesn’t help that, while the four of them had been trying to divide and pack everything before the deadline this weekend, Louis had spent his time unpacking it again.

The Bachelors and the Bachelorette by @turnyourankle

(NR, 2k, Bachelorette au, fake relationship, ficlet, shower sex, smut, hot and fun!)

With little left to do Harry and Louis both signed up to be contestant on the Bachelorette.

-Tomlinshaw-

the next bit was spanners to my plan by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 6k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw, canon, fwb kind of, casual sex, secret relationship, no explicit smut, communication issues, texting, ah such great Tomlinshaw banter and dynamic!)

Louis and Nick end up shagging on the sly, everyone sends far too many emojis and far too few words, and eventually they're going to have to sort themselves out.

-Zouis-

driver's license by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment

(T, 6k, Zayn/Louis, enemies to lovers, bed sharing, snow storm, winter, misunderstandings, banter, Canada, Louis pov, alcohol, demisexuality, unresolved tension, no smut, obsessed with this)

Louis is taking the exam to get his driver’s licence for the 3rd time (okay, sue him), and the examiner keeps getting under his skin, until they suddenly get stranded in the middle of a snow storm, and have to learn to cooperate.

[allronix]

Carth and Force Sensitivity (crossposted from Reddit r/kotor)

This is for @k-she-rambles:

Okay, so while we're shooting the bantha crap over on KOTOR fan theories, u/134340Goat mentioned my all time favorite "Have you been chewing spice?!" fan theory when it comes to KOTOR: Is Carth Force Sensitive?

So this one starts with a story. I mentioned my brother in law, who is pretty much Keeper of the Jedi Archives. Seriously, he's an English teacher and my sister is a librarian. They met at a sci fi convention and their first date was Phantom Menace. We're taking not just geeks, but geeks who can throw the damn bookshelf at you. Brother in law bought KOTOR on the day it launched and turned it into a week long binge watch at his house. And because brother in law is that kind of geek, he's translating the characters into the West End D6 system. I'm watching him do a playthrough, and he's got Canderous and Zaalbar at Ajunta Pal's tomb.

Allronix: Huh. That's odd. Why aren't commenting on anything when Ajunta is speaking?

Bro in law: Oh. They can't even see Ajunta. You have to be Force Sensitive to see a Force Ghost The stronger your Sensitivity, the better you can see it.

Allronix: Really? Then how come Carth can see it?

Bro in law (gets the "holy shit, I gotta confirm this" look): Really?! He just sees something out the corner of his eye or something?

Allronix: No, he sees Ajunta just fine. Understands what the dude's saying too.

Bro in law instantly rolls back to his last save, swaps Zaalbar for Carth, and sees the bit in question.

Bro in law: Oh. Dear. (Goes over to make some quick scribbles on Carth's character sheet)

Okay, so maybe that was a lore fail. I didn't really think about it too much until I hit that False Level Up glitch and ran around with Carth and Mission as Sentinels. Now, while I couldn't really see Mission as a Sensitive, that little bit with my bro in law nagged at me. And became a "once you see it you can't unsee it." Apologies to TV Tropes, where some of these were my additions to the Wild Mass Guess entry on this topic.

Any one of these on its own is pretty easy to blow off. After all, man is career military, and knows All this Shit is Weird. I also like to think of Sensitivity as a spectrum and not a switch. If all life is connected by the Force, then all life would be Sensitive to some degree or another. It’s just a matter of to what degree. It’s only as the list gets longer and longer does the case start looking damning...

What are the odds of surviving that attack on the Endar Spire, getting to the escape pods, sharing the last escape pod with the mindwiped Sith Lord, piloting through the chaos, landing in what passes for the "good" part of town, remaining uninjured, pulling the badly injured mindwiped Sith Lord from the wreck, evading Sith detection while all this is going on, and just happening to find a dump of an apartment where the landlord's not asking questions? That is one amazing string of coincidences and good luck. Get that many in Star Wars, and it's definitely The Force sticking its nose in things.

Piloting the escape pod to land in the Upper City, piloting the Hawk through the Sith Blockade of Taris, the random Sith patrols, the escape from the Leviathan, and the fleet around Lehon along with the crash landing that left the ship easily repairable. Now, compare to Atton who we know to be an excellent pilot and drawing on The Force who still manages to crash the ship at least three times.

He's a scary good judge of character if you're interacting with other NPCs. If you watch him with other NPC characters, he's got a pretty good compass as to which characters are being helpful and which ones are full of shit. The only one he calls incorrectly is Rukil, who is probably also an untrained Sensitive (the age, the "marked" comments) and half senile, which is probably throwing him.

Related to that, his distrust and wariness about something not adding up with the PC, the Jedi Council feeding the party a line of bull, that things just aren't adding up. And on all of it? Dead on. He's 100% right about the Player Character, he just expected something a little less crazy than "that's Darth freaking Revan."

If you play Female Revan, then Carth's the one who gets fried in the torture cages on the Leviathan. Saul comments how strange it is that Carth takes so much punishment and still remains conscious. Now, this is a low level thing, but in lore, Force Sensitives have drawn on it to keep them alive or conscious under duress. Explicitly, the first sign we got that Leia was a Sensitive when she withstood the Imperial torture droid.

Another of his scary ass judge of character feats? In the comics, Zayne (who is on the run from the Jedi, who framed him for the murder of his classmates) has a vision that Mandalorians are coming for Serroco. Saul? Laughs it off, throws Zayne in the brig. Zayne's own friends don't even believe him. Carth gets one of those creepy hunches and starts calling in "duck and cover" sirens as far as he can broadcast, which sends seventeen cities and millions of people heading for shelter. It saves their lives and Carth is called a hero for it. Armed with another hunch, he disobeys Saul (remember this is before Saul nukes Telos) and lets Zayne "escape" from custody. Mind you, not even the Jedi or his party members believed Zayne. Carth did.

Carth makes a lot of creepy weird offhand predictions about the future. He says he knows on some level he'll be there when Saul dies. That certainly pans out. He makes an offhand prediction that the Jedi have set the party up to take a fall. Right again. He tells a female PC that she'll have to make a choice soon, one she can't walk away from. And then we get the temple top. He even blurts out that "I sensed you would have to make a choice soon, and that was it*, I can feel it!"* If you specify a LS Female Revan, his recording for T3-M4 says he's had a hunch Revan would leave without warning. Again, spot on.

Specify a LS male Revan, and Carth will remark to Bastila that seeing the Exile reminds him "there are worse things to lose." The only other people who can see just how screwed up the Exile is are the Jedi Masters, Chodo Habat, and the Force Sensitive party members.

Specify a LS female Revan, and Carth will insist that he would know if Revan were dead (again, scary ass intuition) and that there's an "emptiness" where she used to be. Now, remember one of the things about a broken Force Bond? It would simply be "empty, a wound."

You know how your party members in KOTOR 2 feel upset or even horrified as they realize they feel compelled to protect Exile and can't being themselves to leave, even when said actions are kicking puppies? And how they swing wildly from being crazy, almost stalker level possessive of them to being scared out of their wits and clamming up when you try to pry anything out of them? And the more potent (and untapped) their Force Sensitivity, the more they get hammered with the effect? (Mira and Atton in particular) Yeah. Now, Carth's "I don't wanna talk" looks a bit different, doesn't it? It could also account for that romance arc, especially if you roll a DSF Revan and go for that "everyone dies" ending.

Again, Ajunta Pal. Seeing a Force Ghost? Yeah. Some degree of Sensitivity needed. Understanding what he's saying? Yeah. Takes a bit more than that. And Carth makes a weirdly insightful comment about the Dark Side on top of it.

Notice that this a wall o text argument already, and I'm now just getting to the "Yeah, his kid is able to throw around mid-level Dark Side powers and packing a red lightsaber." Given the jawline and the muleheaded attitude, no way Morgana was fooling around with the pizza delivery boy. That's definitely Carth's kid, and that's definitely Force Sensitivity. Now, while it can skip a generation (see Theron Shan), it tends to run pretty heavy in families.

Lastly? Gee. He comes from a planet settled by and heavily populated by descendants of Force Sensitives who failed their training. I'm also willing to bet some bastard children of Jedi get passed off as "foundlings" and "orphans" and dumped there, too. Jedi are forbidden attachments, but not sworn to celibacy, so...yeah, bastard kids are gonna happen. There's probably a Jedi or two in that family tree. It's circumstantial evidence at best, but it still supports the case.

Now, any arguments I missed? Counterarguments?

And the million credit question: If there's a character who gets to break this news to poor Flyboy, who do you think would actually take that on? How do you think Carth would take that kind of news? And what, if anything, would come of it?

I kinda figure Jolee might be the only one nuts enough to poke that with a stick...I also kinda figure "Sentinel" would fit best. Consular? Hell no. He hired Mical for that. Guardian works with the feats, but the whole "ferreting out deceit and injustice?" Yeah. That's Carth.

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup 

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for April 2021! Below the cut you’ll find 17 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​. 

To Begin Again by @chloehl10​ / lovelarry10 

[Harry/Louis, 23k, Teen and Up, tumblr post] 

“I, uh, I’m really sorry for yelling at you like I did.”

“Hey, I deserved it and more. I’m lucky you didn’t come and deck me on the nose,” Louis said, holding his hands up as if to surrender. “Seriously, you went lightly on me. If a crazy dog was leaping around me and my kids, I’d have lost my shit long before you did, and it would have been a lot more sweary than yours as well.”

Harry laughed at that, quite liking the man now he was getting to know him. This Louis seemed to have a good sense of humour, and his dog was fairly likeable too, laying there sound asleep, sunbathing.

“Well, I don’t usually lose my temper, so I just wanted to apologise.”

“It’s me who needs to say sorry. My stupid dog ate their bloody eggs, and on Easter Sunday at that. It’s a good job we don’t go to church, Cliff, or we’d both be going straight to hell. Nice ears, by the way. I meant to say earlier.”

*＊✿❀○❀✿＊*

Harry’s ready to spend a fun Easter morning with his two children at the park, but it’s thrown into chaos when an over-excited dog and his owner come barrelling into their lives…

A Small Matter (A Matter of Trust) by @kingsofeverything​ 

[Harry/Louis, 18k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

Harry knows he and his Grindr hookup would be perfect together, if only he could convince him to give a relationship a chance. 

Or Harry has a thing for jock straps. Louis likes to wear them. 

Are you proud of me? by @sadaveniren​ 

[Harry/Louis, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

Louis was completely naked, except for a silk scarf that Harry had never seen before. It was tied around his neck like a bow. His lithe body was cast in dramatic shadows as he descended the stairs and all Harry could think was holy shit, mine, mine, mine.

“Well this is a shame. I was hoping you’d keep the boa.”

Harry blinked in surprise at his voice. He was too caught up in his perfection. “What?”

“I guess the leather will do. I do love you dressed in leather.”

aka I show up 2 weeks late with Grammy Fic

Right Back Home to You by @behindmeday​

 [Harry/Nick Grimshaw, 4k, Teen & Up, tumblr post] 

It wasn’t the first time Harry and Nick were cut off before they really got started talking. In fact, it seemed to be happening more often than not. Nick had an insane schedule that no rational person would choose, but Harry’s was even worse. Between the early mornings on The Breakfast Show and the never-ending time zone changes of tour, it seemed that Harry and Nick weren’t really meant to have any real conversations these days. 

Or, Harry writes Nick a song. 

take my hand (my whole life too) by @beckydoesthings​ / beckywritesthings

 [Harry/Louis, 44k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

“You’re famous?” he asks, deciding to dive straight into the heart of the issue.

Harry winces, dropping his gaze to the table. “Erm… famous is one word for it.”

Well, that’s reassuring. Louis raises an eyebrow until Harry heaves a sigh and continues.

“How much do you know about the British monarchy?”

His stomach drops to the floor in a heartbeat, jaw following suit. There’s no way that what Harry’s insinuating is possible. But as the time ticks by, there’s no change in the deadly serious expression on Harry’s face, fingers twitching steadily on the table as he waits for Louis’ answer.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Or a Crazy Rich Asians AU with a royal twist where Harry is a prince, Louis is most definitely not, and there’s a royal wedding to attend.

Forever Is In Your Eyes by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed​ / we_are_the_same 

[Harry/Louis, 126k, Teen & Up, tumblr post] 

Harry looks fragile in the moonlight, and Louis stands there, pondering, not even sure what it is that he’s thinking of. It’s all just noise in his head, a mix of melancholy and desire, of longing for something that he doesn’t even have a name for.

He wants-

He wants love. He wants to be held and cherished and have a home. Not just a place to lay his head down at night. He wants to be loved the way that Louis had loved creating Harry. He wants his perfect man, but he wants him to be real. He wants Harry to be real-

His lips press against marble, against something cold and unforgiving, and it’s not until his hand comes up to rest against a sculpted neck that his eyes fly open and he stumbles backwards, nearly falling off the stepladder that he’d stood on.

“Jesus Christ.” He whispers, shaking his head and resisting the urge to brush the back of his hand against his lips, erase evidence that isn’t even visible to the naked eye. Harry stands there, as though nothing’s changed, and of course he does, because he’s a statue.

A statue that Louis has just kissed.

Stuck in an eternal spring by @chrysopon​ / flamboyo 

[Louis/Zayn, 4k, Teen & Up, tumblr post] 

Louis is about to go crazy in the silent solitude of London’s lockdown. The only breach into the grey monotony of his days is the hope of catching a glimpse of the dark-haired guy who lives in the building across the street. One night they have their night cigarette together while both in their flats, twenty meters and an empty, quiet street between them. It becomes a habit, but maybe there’s hope for it to become something more. 

It’s Been So Long by @elsi-bee​ / elsi_bee 

[Harry/Louis, 31k, Teen & Up, tumblr post] 

Harry Styles’ first crush was one of his sister’s best friends, a certain someone named Louis Tomlinson. And Louis? He just vaguely remembers Gemma’s younger brother from back in the day. 

A lot can change in ten years. 

Featuring Niall and Liam as Harry’s friends, flirting, fluff, and flashbacks to the awkward days of high school. 

This Dream Lost by @zanniscaramouche​ / zanni_scaramouche

[Liam/Louis/Harry, 5k, Mature, tumblr post] 

It’s a dangerous game to play his Alpha like this, and it gives Harry a thrill through his spine he’s not sure he likes. It’ll be worth it, but he doubts he’ll be pulling any surprises on Louis for a while after this. He can’t fucking stand it as is and it’s not even really for Louis, it’s for Liam. 

Mercy by @zanniscaramouche​ / zanni_scaramouche 

[Niall/Shawn Mendes, 5k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

“I-” Shawn licks his lips, eyes bright and wide with the shock. 

Balls in his court now. He could refuse, step away from the line they’re toeing and laugh it off. But he doesn’t, just like Niall knew he wouldn’t. Because Shawn wants this. They both do, and that’s what makes it so fucking insane. 

Blind Faith by @2tiedships2​ 

[Harry/Louis, 18k, Mature, tumblr post] 

“Harry?” Liam prompted.

“I’m blind,” Harry eventually said, trying his best to keep himself from crying.

Liam was silent for a few moments, before responding, “That’s not exactly news, H. You were blind when I met you a year and a half ago. Have you been in denial this whole time or something?”

“No, Liam,” Harry cut in. “This is different. I’m not legally blind like I used to say. It’s not just my night vision. The tunnel from my tunnel vision has closed. I’m fucking blind! I moved halfway around the world in the hope of finding my soulmate and it’s obviously not happening now. Not even a soulmate is going to want to put up with a blind alpha.“

The Journal by @wait4ever​ / RecycledStardust & @evilovesyou​ / 4ureyesonly28 

[Louis/Harry, 14k, General, tumblr post] 

When Harry finds himself purchasing an antique journal in the ancient bookshop of a town he’s never heard of, he doesn’t exactly want to admit that he has no idea how he got there. A myriad of odd coincidences and a few kind smiles from the shopkeeper have the two of them working hard to solve the mystery of this strange journal that seems to have been waiting for Harry for almost a hundred and thirty years. 

But I’m the Quarterback by @evilovesyou​ / 4ureyesonly28 

[Harry/Louis, 52k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

Harry Styles is the quarterback of Sunny High’s football team, dating the beautiful head cheerleader, and determined to enter his senior year with focus and discipline. That is, until a strange man shows up at his home, makes his girlfriend break up with him, and convinces his parents to send him off to a “reparative therapy camp” over the summer. 

At True Directions, Harry meets four other boys and five girls, all there to be cured of their homosexuality. He has to find a way out of this place as soon as possible—Christ, he isn’t even gay! 

Know a Trick or Two by @sadaveniren​ 

[Harry/Louis, 45k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

The night before Louis is scheduled for a Portkey to begin training with the Vratsa Vultures in Bulgaria he heads into Muggle London for one last night of fun. A few months later he finds out he’s having a child. 

Eleven years ago Harry had a one night stand and now there’s a strange man on his doorstep telling him his daughter is something called a wizard and she’s got a place at the British wizarding school Hogwarts. 

Aka the one where Muggle Harry and Wizard Louis have a one night stand and get more than they bargained out of it. 

Until That Day by @kingsofeverything​ 

[Harry/Louis, 44k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

Harry Styles is days away from walking down the aisle when his previous failed weddings are turned into a public spectacle by jaded London journalist Louis Tomlinson. Hoping to witness Harry leave another groom at the altar, Louis heads to Holmes Chapel, where nothing goes as planned, and he finds himself falling for the serial heartbreaker. 

A Runaway Bride movie AU 

Caught In Your Gravity by @lululawrence​ 

[Harry/Louis, 63k, Not Rated, tumblr post] 

It felt like the blood froze in Harry’s veins even as he got a bit lightheaded. He hadn’t even made it two practices, only one of which he was remotely in charge of, without giving it all away and now he and Liam were both absolutely fucked.

“Shit,” Harry breathed out. “Who all have you told? Does everyone know? I thought I covered it better than that…”

“No, no,” Louis said quickly. “They’ll figure it out soon enough, though, because they’ll get used to you changing things up, but you’re only going to trip over your so called Americanisms for so long before they realize it’s because you don’t actually know fuck all about football.”

Harry sighed. “Yeah. I figured. I just need to bullshit for long enough to allow Liam to get the situation figured out from his end.”

“Right, which brings me to my entire point. I think we can find a mutually beneficial arrangement with all of this.” Louis leaned forward. “You need to learn the ins and outs of the sport incredibly fast. I can help you with that.”

“What do you want in exchange?”

Or, an AU inspired by a 30 second trailer of Ted Lasso that doesn’t actually have much in common with the show at all.

Passing By by @larryyouknow​

[Harry/Louis, 48k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Sometimes, people are in each other’s lives just for the briefest of moments. They meet and then go their separate ways because being vulnerable is scary and it might be easier to not let anybody else in. But some people aren’t meant to be just passing by. Maybe when they open their eyes, they can learn things about themselves they haven’t known before. If they let their hearts speak they will find a way to be together.

Or the one where Harry doesn’t even know he’s into guys until he meets Louis on a boat trip. There’s something more to their friendship but it ain’t gonna be smooth sailing.

[alloftheimaginess]

Tell All

A/n: I cried when I got this request. It literally took me back to being 14 years old writing cringe fanfics on wattpad of one direction and their super stereotypical likes and dislikes lol also before I found out that black people wrote imagines so I was always reading "and Yn brushed her long blonde hair up into a messy bun and decided she looked good and was ready to go about her day, making sure she applied sunscreen because her fair skin burned easily" those were good times. Also changed it up a little reader and Harry stayed together and are in an amazing relationship because who wouldn’t want to be exclusive it’s Harry fucking styles. Also it’s my first Harry imagine so it definitely sucks lol

Warnings: a few swear words, sucky writing and probably a ton of mistakes.

"Let's welcome our guest" Lauren the host says and I run on stage and she pulls me into a big hug as everyone cheers and I hug her back, rocking us back and forth.

"Oh my god, how are you?" I ask kissing her cheek as I pull back.

"I'm so good, super glad you're here" she says.

"You and me both" I say pulling away fully and turning to the audience and I smile at them.

"And how are you all?" I ask and they all cheer so I laugh.

"That's good to hear" I say sitting down and I smile.

"So I have yet to read your book, your tell all as it has yet to come out officially. I'm hoping you could read just a little of it" she says handing me the book I sent her yesterday and I nod opening it to the chapter I want to read from.

"Keep in mind everyone, if you haven't already preordered Yn's book do it. It comes out in four days and I seen online from your official site it’s already sold out" she says and I smile at her nodding.

“Yeah but I’ve partnered with a bunch of stores so if they have books you can buy it. Also I’m donating a bunch of books” I say and she smiles.

“Really?” She asks and I nod.

“Yeah, with every book bought it’s a meal for a family so I bought out like 3 thousand copies and so that’s 3 thousand families fed and not even to mention all the copies that have been ordered from everyone. So now I have all these books and will be giving them out starting today” I say and everyone in the audience cheers.

“Sounds like you guys are actually excited so I’ll start with you” I say and they cheer even louder and I laugh.

"Ready?" She asks and I nod.

"I'm so nervous" she says giggling and I laugh.

"You're nervous, how do you think I feel? You guys are the first people besides my mom that are hearing anything from it. But the chapter I chose is called ‘Oh No I'm Pregnant’ so we’ll start there" I say and everyone starts screaming in the audience and I have to cover my ears as I laugh, even Lauren is in shock and I laugh waiting for the screams to die down.

"This isn't what I needed at all. The band is broken up, I don't know what to do with myself. We're only 21 and 20 this can not be happening" I read and she leans in smiling at me.

"I remember my thoughts. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe the break is exactly what we needed at this time so I can focus on being a mother, yes this is exactly what I need because now I can give you all of my attention" I read and the pictures of Winnie pop up on the screen and Lauren turns to look at them.

"Oh my god, she looks like Harry!" Someone screams and I giggle behind the book.

"Look at those curls" Lauren says.

"How am I going to tell him? How will he look at me. Will I just be the woman he made an accidental child with that he won't even want? Will he hate me and say it's not his? What will his family think? His family is some of my biggest supporters. We have been together for a while but we’ve never even talked about kids" I read.

"Do I tell him immediately or do I tell him later? I have all these questions and no one to help me answer them" I read flipping the page and everyone is listening while watching videos of Winnie and I, some of them from when she first started walking to now as she's almost five years old and she's in gymnastics doing flips.

"Moving past my doubt of pregnancy. This is called dedicated to Winnie" I say and everyone cheers.

"The minute I heard your heartbeat you took over my every thought. I have to be an amazing mother to you, I have to give you all that you deserve. Then I found out you were a girl. My little girl with a beating heart and I knew your name. As soon as I seen you I knew you were my little Gwyneth" I read and the video pops up of Harry playing the guitar and everyone starts cheering

"We'll be a fine. We'll be a fine line. We'll be a fine line" he sings playing the song on the guitar.

"What are we going to be?" He asks and the camera points towards Winnie who's sat in my lap.

"We'll be alright" she sings bouncing with him to the music.

"Again" he yells over the music and she giggles.

"We'll be alright" she sings through her giggles.

"Why?" He asks still playing the song.

"Because of mommy" she sings to the beat of the song and I tickle her and she giggles doubling over from laughter.

"Because of mummy" Harry sings and I smile at him.

"We'll be alright" he sings standing up and she sings with him and he kisses her head before he quickly pecks my lips and I laugh.

"Holy shit!" Lauren yells as the audience is losing their shit.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up" she says freaking out.

"I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry I know I'm not supposed to swear but how could I not? Did you just see that fucking video? Yn you are going to give everyone a heart attack" she says and she stares at me with wide eyes.

"I can't believe this is real" she says laughing and the audience is still losing their shit and I just laugh through all the chaos.

"You came onto this show letting us think we had the upper hand because you have to answer every question we ask but really you had all the power over us" she says.

"I'm literally crying. Play that back" she says wiping her eyes and they play it again.

"How old is she?" She asks.

"She's four. Almost five" I say.

"What's her full name?" She asks.

"Gwyneth Anne Styles" I say and she covers her face.

"After Harry’s mom? Who all knows about her?" She asks.

"Yes and my family knows, his family, the boys aka Zayn, Niall, Louis and Liam, the food delivery guy that brought me food the whole time I was pregnant from that Chinese food place, the people that help Harry with his albums so everyone in the studio. James Corden and now all of you" I say.

"Harry is a dad. Oh my gosh" she says covering her face and I hear some of the audience crying.

“So are you two like officially together?" She asks and I nod.

"Yeah" I say smiling at her.

"Like dating or marriage because after the news of a whole five year old I can't trust anything else you say" she says and I laugh.

"Just dating, I'm only 25. I'm still trying to figure myself out" I say and she laughs.

"I wouldn't believe that even for a second" she says eyeing me and I laugh.

"Good" I say.

"Good" she says back and then she pauses.

"Wait what?" She asks and I nod.

"What do you mean good?" She asks.

“Ooh that looks like it’s time” I say.

“Uh uh, I need information” she says.

“We have to move on” I say

[lululawrence]

thank you sosososo much for writing another abo triad fic!!! i just read it and it was soooo good! i know you mentioned that you also love abo triads and was wondering if you knew of any others? i’m in desperate need to read more of this dynamic aaaah <3

ahhhhh thank you soooo muuuuuch!!! i’m not sure how many a/b/o triads you’ve read, but i don’t have TOO many recs for you, sadly. i’ve not found all that many i really loved, especially where all three genders are represented, but i do wish there were more! 

anyway, here are the ones (other than my most recent one hehe) that i love and rec!

Loving You's the Antidote by me - i had to, lollll i dunno if you’ve read this one, but i love it and it was my first time kind of dipping my toes into the a/b/o triad scene, and. well. i’m addicted. i want to try so many combinations now! (this one is also stylinshaw btw cause. my fav triad, what can i say?)

Orion's Belt by @londonfoginacup - this is also stylinshaw, my obsession lol, and was one of the first i ever read and hoooooly shit it’s sooooo goooood ahhhhhhh i just cannot fully express to you how very much i love it. so. very. much.

I Should've Known by @nikogda​ - LILOURRY A/O/O OKAY I JUST. deep breaths. lollll omega harry and omega louis are a bonded pair and they are both kinda drooling over their alpha liam neighbor, and it turns out it’s more than just that and it’s mutual??? what??? IT’S SO FUCKING GOOD I LOVE.

Its Mutual We (All) Discussed It by @nikogda​ - kodi has BLESSED US okay?? this one is zourry and HOLY SHIIIIIT. omgggggg. omega zayn and omega harry are a pair who want to have kids and they need an alpha for that, so alpha louis is found through a service to help them and I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH. SO MANY FEELS. SO MUCH LONGING IN DIFFERENT WAYS. OMGGGGG. 

and honestly that...is it i think. at least that i’ve read, so if anyone else has other a/b/o poly fics to rec to me, by all means let me know! i’d love to check them out! hehe

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

2020 - archived

[18+ advised ] This is going to be long af. I’m going to do my best to put everything - all my writing on this blog, in one goddamn place, but I make no promises, so forgive me in advance. Below the cut is everything I’ve written and posted, for every single wrestler I’ve written for so far.  If its’ not linked, then I haven’t posted it yet or it’s a placeholder. If it’s bolded/has an m out beside it, it is most definitely mature and only meant for a mature (18+) audience. If there’s an asterisk (*) out beside the title, it belongs to or is part of something else that I have on the blog.

If you want to be on the taglist for my writing, you can find that [here]. If you want to know what I write / how often I write and stuff like that, my faq/about post is [here]

adam hangman page | take you home | spring | mature.

adam hangman page | baby fever | winter| mature.

adam hangman page | darlin | summer | mature. 

baron corbin | right now | winter | mature.

darby allin | the sound of silence | spring | mature.

drew mcintyre | somebody watching me | spring | mature.

drew mcintyre | alpha | winter | mature.

ethan carter iii | worship you | winter | mature.

jon moxley | duality| summer | mature.

jon moxley | allnighter | summer | mature.

jungle boy | touch myself | winter | mature.

jungle boy | unnamed as of yet | summer | mature.

kevin owens | morning | summer | mature.

kyle o’reilly | backseats and phone calls | spring | mature.

kyle o’reilly | the quiet game | winter | mature.

mjf | dessert first | winter | mature.

mjf | sweet | summer | mature.

mjf | morningafter | summer | mature.

roman reigns | alpha | winter | mature.

sammy guevara | dirty dancer | winter | suggestive.

sammy guevara | cheater | summer | mature.

trent beretta | blackout | summer | mature.

trent beretta | sneaky | fall | mature.

adam hangman page | whatcha gonna do by hinder | angst / comfort.

adam hangman page | push my buttons [ suggestive] | 

adam hangman page | i’m erasing myself from the narrative | i’m putting myself back into the narrative | may you always be satisfied | the story of tonight. 

adam hangman page | second one to know |  dancing around an open fire | | 

adam hangman page | dreaming of a wedding dress | | 

adam hangman page | the love boat || | 

adam hangman page | sweet cherry pie || that dress is begging to come off [ virgin oc; mature af } 

adam hangman page | | honey on my table suggestive | motion of the ocean - cruise romance au, mature | 

adam hangman page | alone among the couples | 

adam hangman page | im yours - alphaverse au | won’t you stay with me alphaverse au |  bathtub mermaid - alphaverse au/suggestive | 

adam hangman page | she’s a nutcracker | 

adam hangman page | virginia on my mind, angst | fuck you and the horse you rode in on [ an au of what ifs second chapter, holy shit mature]  | | punishment pretty please, goes with wildside/whatifs holy shit mature | pour some sugar on me, mature | | 

baron corbin | everything you can do i can do better | 

baron corbin | follow me | prince not so charming | 

baron corbin | love on the rocks | 

curtis axel | | | boop [  mature ] | be kind rewind [ roommates au, mature ]| 

curtis axel | discount chocolate day | | 

drew gulak thoughts of yesterdays | august rush | lost in your eyes [ suggestive.]

drew gulak | he loves me, he loves you not [ miiild suggestive, alphaverse] | | leave her wild [ suggestive alphaverse..kinda] | 

drew gulak |once upon a dream [ soulmate au] |  starcrossed lovers and other strangers [ suggestive ] |

drew gulak | valentines day episode | 

drew mcintyre | marionette | | just between me and you | 

drew mcintyre | burnt homemade chocolates [ conclusion to my alphaverse short fic, suggestive and fluffy ] | 

edge x ofc x christian | seeds of unrest | 

elias samson | couples costume contest | 

elias samson | waiting on your friends to leave 

ethan carter III | winners remorse | rewrite history [ a retelling of w.r] | |

finn balor | after an endless dream | 

jay white | graveyard smash | punch drunk princess [ vampire au; mature] | it should’ve been you [human version of vampire au]

jeff hardy  | it all started with glow paint [ suggestive; bordering mature ] | 

jeff hardy | do i look lonely |  my lips are up here [suggestive]

jon moxley | hurt me so good | if I loved you less I could talk about it more | can’t find a better man [mature].

jon moxley | bloody valentine | 

jon moxley | your days are numbered | spared but not forgiven | nature adores a virgin [mature]

jon moxley | all the guys want cheerleaders | ps i lo- | no more almosts | warm desert wind | | dark as night [ roommates au / suggestive ] | 

jon moxley | siren song [ soulmate/pirate and siren au | 

jungle boy | sweet boy | 

kyle o’reilly | can I see through you | | death of a bachelor | 

mjf | did you just grab yourself on tv | 

mjf | candy hearts taste like chalk | 

pete dunne | you jump i jump jack | | you can’t win | I’m melting

pete dunne |bitter bite alphaverse au |  aftershocks suggestive |

roderick strong |  trying not to smile | 

roderick strong | kisses like cruelty [suggestive,borderline mature] | | | 

roderick strong | walking the line | put ‘em up | 

roman reigns | patchwork heart | 

roman reigns | slow roasted | 

roman reigns | anorgasmia | 

sami zayn | farmers market | moonbeams on pumpkins

sami zayn | heart and soul |

sami zayn | reflecting light | 

zack ryder | rough rider 

12 Days Of Christmas Masterlist 2020

My entries for the 12 Days of Christmas on both my writing blogs can be found on this post right here.  [ merry christmas clicky ]

Halloween

Thanksgiving

Christmas

New Years

Valentines Day

Other Holidays / Special Occasions

ORIGINAL CHARACTERS I HAVE / USE TO WRITE

original character, Adeline x | 

original character, Kasey x | 

original character, Violet x | 

WRESTLERS ONLY DOWN BELOW

adam hangman page x [m] | x - soft hangman | x -hangman does halloween | x hangman on your first date [ fluffy,suggestive]|  x [soft] | adopting a dog | enemies to lovers | roommates to lovers | softly mature | more halloween hangman | 

buddy murphy x [ mature, sex life] | 

cash wheeler x [ suggestive ] | 

chuck taylor x [soft]| x more soft | 

damien priest x [ mature ] | 

darby allin x[soft] | x [mature] | 

drew gulak x | 

drew mcintyre x [ mature ] | 

eddie kingston x | x | x mature | enemies to lovers | 

elite x celebrating Halloween with the Elite | 

ethan carter iii x [m] | 

finn balor x [ m] | x [m] | 

heath slater x | 

jeff hardy x[m] | sick female!SO [pms mentioned briefly] | 

jon moxley x [m] | x [m] | 

jungle boy x[food/cooking] | x [ actual! jungle boy in love ] | fall softness | 

kenny omega x [ suggestive ] | x | x [halloween] | 

kevin owens x [m] | 

kyle o’reilly x [ mature - werewolf!kyle ] | 

luchasaurus x[mature+soft] | 

marko stunt  x soft and mature | x mature | x soft | x daddy kink of sorts |

matt jackson x [m] | x more m | enemiest to lovers -suggestive | 

nick jackson x [suggestive] | losing a basketball game to you | x mature/soft mix | 

orange cassidy x [lowkey m] | 

Pac x [suggestive fluff] | 

pentagon jr x mature | 

pete dunne x [ mature ] | 

prince devitt x mature | 

ecw era raven x [soft ] | x [m] | x[halloween] | 

roderick strong x [ adopting a kid with ] | 

roman reigns x!HeelRoman, slight nsfw | 

sami callihan x [ music preferences ] | 

trent beretta x [lowkey m] | x [ soft ] | x [ more soft ] | 

tyler breeze x [ enemies to lovers, polyamory hinted at | 

undertaker x [ gender neutral baker / biker taker SO] | 

wardlow x [ m ] | x [m] | x [ soft] | x[ halloween] | x mature | x Christmas with Wardlow | 

AEW;

- adam hangman page [ f s v ] | o i d | c m x | k l | 

- cash wheeler [ i l s ] | [ m o r ] | c s u | 

- chuck taylor [ j m w ] | [ a d l ] | [ c  v ] | i k w | n u x | 

- darby allin [  k o t ] 

- jack evans [ b t h ] | 

- jon moxley [ a k r ] | 

- jungle boy [ d m o ] | 

- matt jackson [ k q w ] |  [ b d e ] | f i o | u y | c j v | 

- mjf [ s k v ] | b m u | 

- nick jackson [ a b g ] | [ m o ] | c i o | 

- orange cassidy [ f h x ] | [ o ] | [ i p v ] | [ k w ]

- pac [ d m x ] | [ i p u ] | [ f o s ] | 

- santana [ a o q ] | 

- trent beretta [ j m u ] | 

- wardlow [ d j w ] | [ k u ] | [ b m r ] | [ a o v ] | c i p | 

WWE NXT;

- chad gable [ b o u ] | 

- damien priest [ d i v ] | 

- drew mcintyre [ b e d ] | i p w | 

- jinder mahal [ g i w ] | 

- roman reigns [ c u m ] | 

- timothy thatcher [ c j y ] | f k | d | 

- tyler breeze [ l x y ] | d j u | 

TNA;

- heath miller [ b e d ] | 

NJPW;

- jay white [ d f k ] | k u m | b j w | 

AEW;

WWE / NXT;

AEW;

WWE / NXT; 

[saintlaurentproblems]

GUYS ZAYN IS ON A DAMN DATING APP AND ON THE KIDS SETTING IT SAYS HE HAS NONE LMFAO

no but holy shit this man is going out sad

WHAT THE FUCK

[bucksblr]

tagged by @leonzhng​ thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋

i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena​ @yibobibo​ @lan-xichens​ @purplexedhuman​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @lanzhansmiles​ @nyx4​ i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!

putting this under a read more for reasons

MEN 2010 – 2016

literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)

tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes

harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years

louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart

ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014

harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly

choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot

brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)

jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos

misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)

henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)

MEN 2016 – 2021

min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??

kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard

park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)

kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day

jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys

choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu

xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx

wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok

lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me

bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho

WOMEN

this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time

ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts

perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her

andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty

lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked

alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay

park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)

kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members

shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D

xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage

lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao

peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on

legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14

zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.

will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute

jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off

castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did

kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF

howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl

lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot

mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)