#holy shit this was actually longer than i expected

[deprivedreality]

𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗙𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗢 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝗞𝗔𝗧𝗦𝗨𝗞𝗜 𝗕𝗔𝗞𝗨𝗚𝗢?!

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠...?

Word Count: 560

Content: Fluff. Mutual Pining. 3rd year Katsuki Bakugo x gn.reader in support course.

The afternoon sun was glaring over UA’s training grounds, the warmth seeping into Katsuki Bakugo’s skin as he finished his cooldown stretches. His muscles ached in a way that felt satisfying—proof of a training session well spent. He rolled his shoulders and glanced toward the entrance of the training ground, his sharp eyes catching sight of someone he didn’t expect.

You.

You were standing a few feet away, fidgeting with a big box in your hands, your usual confident demeanor replaced by nervous energy. He scowled, not out of irritation, but because his chest felt weirdly tight every time you were around. You were a second-year in the support course—brilliant, sharp, and, in his mind, annoyingly distracting.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, voice gruff as always.

You looked up, startled, and quickly adjusted your grip on the box. “Oh! I—I came to drop off the gauntlet you asked for last week.”

Bakugo frowned. “I didn’t ask you for shit. Hatsume was—” He stopped mid-sentence, realizing something. “Wait, you did the adjustments?"

You nodded, avoiding his gaze. “Yeah. I thought you’d want them done faster, so I, uh… volunteered.”

There was something off about your tone, something hesitant that made him squint at you suspiciously. “You’re acting weird.”

“I’m not!” you blurted, your voice higher than usual.

His brows furrowed deeper. “Tch, whatever. Just give me the damn thing.”

You stepped closer, holding out his gears, but your hands were trembling slightly. He noticed, of course. He always noticed when it came to you. And before he could stop himself, he said, “Oi, are you nervous or something? You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“I’m not nervous!” you insisted, but then, without warning, the words tumbled out of your mouth like a landslide. “Okay, maybe I am, but it’s because I like you. Geez—”

The silence that followed was deafening.

Bakugo froze, the words hitting him like one of his own explosions. His crimson eyes locked onto yours, wide with disbelief. “What?"

You blinked, your own face going pale as the weight of what you just said crashed over you. “Ah! Wait. I mean—”

“What did you just say?” he demanded, stepping closer, his heart pounding in his chest.

Your eyes darted around, searching for an escape route. “Nothing! I said nothing!”

“Bullshit,” Bakugo growled, his voice lower now. “You said you like me. As in, like, like me?”

Your face flushed scarlet. “I… I didn’t mean to say that! Forget I said anything!”

Before he could say another word, you shoved the box into his hands and bolted, sprinting toward the workshop like your life depended on it.

Bakugo stood there, dumbfounded, staring at the neatly done gauntlets in his hands. You liked him. You, the same person he’d been watching from afar for months. The person he’d subtly helped out—gruffly, of course, but helped nonetheless. The person who had a laugh that made his chest feel too tight and a smile that stuck in his mind longer than he cared to admit.

“Shit,” he muttered under his breath, a rare, uncharacteristic smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “You actually like me. Holy shit.”

For the first time in a long time, Katsuki Bakugo found himself excited to chase something—someone.

And this time, he wasn’t planning to let them run too far.

a/n: i have part two in my drafts

ᓚᘏ�� @deprivedreality 2024 | all rights reserved.

[silverselfshippingchaos]

ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..

[steventhusiast]

modern au where eddie and robin are roommates and steve is italian <3

-

eddie has always known that his roommate robin is in the US for college, but grew up in and is from italy. sure, sometimes he forgets, because she somehow has a near-perfect american accent and also speaks two other languages, but he’s always known.

and for the past year and a bit, he’s known how much robin wants her best friend stevie to come visit. she talks about them all the time, and ever since she and eddie moved out of the dorms and into an apartment together for their next year of university a month ago, he’s known stevie is going to come and visit.

he just kind of forgot the exact day stevie would be arriving.

so when he, clad in nothing but his garfield pyjama pants and a metallica t-shirt that’s falling apart, walks into the kitchen one morning and sees someone he doesn’t know at the kitchen counter fiddling with their instant coffee machine, he almost shits himself.

luckily, he doesn’t, because he remembers in that split second that stevie was due to arrive last night. but he still flinches pretty hard at the fright and grabs for the nearest grabbable thing, which turns out to be the doorframe. somehow, he makes a noise loud enough to get the mystery person’s attention, and they turn around.

holy shit. eddie did not know stevie is hot. or that stevie’s actually a guy. he kind of just assumed, with the nickname and all? but the man standing there looks like he could’ve been carved by the gods eddie doesn’t believe in, and- eddie realises he’s been staring at the guy for a few seconds now, and decides to talk like a normal human being. he first adjusts his position so he’s no longer holding onto the archway of the kitchen for support, and smiles at the guy.

“hi, you must be stevie?” he offers, and stevie takes a few seconds to process his words before nodding with a smile.

“my name is steve. robbie just is… hm, silly?”

eddie blinks a couple times, because steve has an accent. a thick one. he should’ve expected that, because- hello? they’re both literally from italy. but it catches him off guard, and adds to steve’s hot factor. why didn’t robin warn him about this.

“yeah, robin is very silly.” he agrees with a chuckle, and then realises steve might not know him, “i’m eddie. robin’s roommate. you probably knew that already though, so now i probably look like an idiot. well- more of an idiot than i already do in these clothes…”

he lets his words trail off as he realises steve is frowning at him in subtle confusion. he’s picked up robin’s rambling-when-nervous habit over their friendship, and hot guys tend to make him pretty nervous. but then he realises maybe steve isn’t as fluent in english as robin is, and even if he is eddie’s a fast talker that doesn’t always pronounce things fully.

“i am sorry,” steve looks embarrassed, “my english is not as good as robin.”

eddie feels so guilty at the pink that’s made itself known on steve’s cheeks, and shakes his head immediately.

“no! you don’t need to be sorry. i just talk a lot when i’m nervous.” he confesses. why did he say that? now steve knows he’s nervous. or does he? maybe he didn’t catch his full sentence.

steve raises one eyebrow at eddie though, and one side of his mouth quirks up into a smile as he turns around to keep trying to make himself a cup of coffee.

“i am making you nervous? why?” steve asks, his back still turned. now eddie’s the one with red cheeks. dammit.

“it’s because eddie here thinks you’re hot, stevie.”

eddie’s flinch at robin’s magical appearance behind him is somehow more spectacular than earlier, and he clutches dramatically at his heart and spins around to glare at robin.

“robin! what the fuck, man!” he yelps when he realises what she’s said. but robin isn’t listening, she’s too busy speaking to steve in italian about who knows what.

probably about how she knows all eddie’s tells for when he finds a guy attractive and how she knows eddie’s type and steve checks every single box. or, eddie squints at the pair as robin tsks at steve and takes over manning the coffee machine, maybe robin’s just telling steve how to make a coffee with the machine?

“you think i am…” steve starts as he spins around to look at eddie, and seems to be searching for a word for a few moments, “attractive?”

eddie’s eyes widen, and then he sighs and fixes a glare on robin. robin just shrugs and makes a very insincere ‘oopsie’ expression, and eddie is about to start denying like his life depends on it, but he looks back at steve.

and steve has that blush back on his face, and a tiny smile, and he’s looking eddie up and down even in his ridiculous outfit.

“um, yes.” eddie practically squeaks, not used to having someone’s eyes on him like this.

steve says something to robin in italian that sounds like it ends with a question mark, and robin rolls her eyes.

“steve wants me to translate a pick up line he wants to use on you, but i literally refuse to do that. google translate is free.”

and with that, she leaves the kitchen.

[thedevilsoftruth]

Soo I have a request. Hehe. Specifically about Kyojuro 😍

Idea:

Tengen and Rengoku are sparring and rengoku is a little tense because of how his mission went last night. Tengen notices his frustration and stops the sparring session to see what his deal is. When Rengoku tells him he’s frustrated Tengen is understanding and he decides that theyre done sparring for the day. Tengen says hes on his way home to his wives but Rengoku says hes going to stay out for a little longer so he doesn't go home to y/n, angry. That's when Tengen gives him the idea to "take it out" on you.

Obviously Kyo thinks he meant hitting you to which Uzui quickly clears up when he rephrases and explains to release his frustrations sexually. Careful not to spare any details when telling Kyojuro of all the positions to put you in.

(Rengoku is pretty vanilla with sex so he doesnt do much other than missionary or eating you out)

So imagine your surprise, when he DOES get home, and after asking “do you trust me” he goes full throttle on you, his oblivious wife. I'm talkin backshots, full nelson, a mean locked in mating press, choking, spitting in her mouth, ass slapping and despite his rough manhandling his words are still so sweet. Like calling her his "perfect little flame" for taking him so well. 😍😍😍

and when they're done? shes so squirted and fucked out that she finally asks him why he was so angry and after all of that, he doesn't even remember. 🤣🤣🤣

HOLY FUXKITY FUCK NUGGETS WITH A SIDE OF BOOB SWEAT HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF KYOJURO YES QUEEN I AM ON THAT SHIT 🫡

Now I have not written any like actual HARD sex scenes since Marc Spector in like. March. But, I will try my best. I am sorry if it is not what you expected, some things you asked for I sadly did not incorporate into the fic because I wasn't comfortable with it. However, this is by far one of my LONGEST fics like. Ever. So please enjoy! ♥️

ᥫ᭡•-Wildfire-•ᥫ᭡

Rengoku Kyojuro x afab reader

Summary: After having a really bad mission that ruined Kyojuros mood completely, Kyojuro spars Tengen but it becomes very apparent to Tengen that Kyojuro is upset. Tengen tries to comfort Kyojuro, but the conversation steers off into a long discussion of Tengen explaining how Kyojuro can take his anger out on his wife sexually. So, Kyojuro goes home to you ( his wife ) and does exactly as his old friend suggested.

W/c - 7k

Warning: Lots of sexual humor, mentions of violence, Tengen and Kyojuros amazing friendship, mentions of Tengen being a lifestyle dom bc fuck you that's why, strong language, unprotected sex, vaginal penetration, rough sex, dom! Kyojuro, reader is kinda shy and VERY submissive, tabletop sex, crying during sex, hair pulling, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, ass slapping, and Kyojuros filthy mouth. Not beta read!!!

[ Minors dni! I am not responsible for what you find on the internet! ]

Kyojuro Rengoku was a very patient man. A patient man that was never without a smile and was almost never angry. He was good with masking his anger and swallowing his issues. What's the point of holding onto negative emotions? If something bad happens to you, take it and move on with your life.

But he just could not seem to shake this cloud of pure frustration and sense of failure that was looming above his head. Why didn't he perform his best during his last mission? Why didn't he use the new techniques he needed to practice in his last fight? Why wasn't he training hard enough? Why wasn't he good enough?

His body was seething with anger. He was sweating badly from the stress he was feeling and his limbs felt as though they were on fire.

It was almost like an out of body experience. Like he wasn't even himself in that moment when he let out a blood curdling yell as he charged at his partner with his most powerful technique. His hands were gripping his blade so tightly that he was sure they would never be able to let out of it.

That was until the blade was flung across the field by a gloved hand.

" What's up with you, man? You trying to kill me? " Tengens familiar voice filled his ears, the tall man standing in front of him with an expression he had never given him.

Worry.

Kyojuro was suddenly pulled back into reality. His chest felt tight. The clothes on his body were starting to feel loose due to his fatigue. He looked around and took in his surroundings. The beautiful green trees rustling in the wind around him. The soft brown dirt below his feet. The tall man in front of him who he considered to be his best friend. But still, even through the whirlwind of intense emotions in his head, he was still able to put on his signature smile.

" I am sorry, lord Tengen. I suppose I got a bit carried away, didnt I? " Kyojuro said with a gentle laugh that filled Tengens ears. Tengen found himself staring at his best friend blankly.

" Oh you mean when you tired to cut my head off? " Tengen said bluntly.

What???

Kyojuros eyes went wide and he suddenly felt very embarrassed. He had never had a moment like that in sparring ever. He was usually on guard. He usually didn't let bad missions like that get to him, but today he was just constantly on edge, and that sparring round proved it.

" No more swords for today. " Tengen said, dropping his weapons and sitting on a soft patch of grass. " Come sit. Talk to me. " Was all he needed to say for Kyojuro to immediately go on a tangent.

Kyojuro was very open to people about how he felt about things. If he had an opinion, he would make the opinion known no matter what. He was a very emotional man who had a lot of empathy in his heart, so he tended to take things a bit harder than most people would. Kyojuro was a talker, and so was Tengen, but Tengen was able to lend a listening ear when it was needed.

" I suppose i was a bit overwhelmed. " Kyojuro started, picking at blades of grass beneath him. " My last mission didn't go too well. There were some techniques I wanted to try in battle that are new to me, but was too chicken to try them. " He explained to the man sitting next to him.

Tengen stared at him for a very long time. He blinked a few time, and then his face twisted into a look of pure and utter confusion.

" You're mad you didn't use those techniques?!! Did you forget that you are a literal demon slayer?? My man, you still have like. Five million other future missions where you can use those techniques in. " Tengen told his best friend in a loud voice, his hands making weird gestures as he spoke. Kyojuro chuckled.

" I know. I know. I guess I'm just mad that I didn't practice them enough. " He sighed. Tengen rolled his eyes and groaned.

" Come on, dude. Loosen up a little, won't ya? You still have all the time in the world to practice them. Plus, tomorrow Is a new day. You will have a better mission tomorrow. " Tengen provided the most comfort to Kyojuro that he could. He had his hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently and smiling at him. And Kyojuro had to admit that he was feeling a bit better, but he was still tense. He smiled back at him, but Tengen could tell by the way his shoulders were tense that he was still mad.

" You sure you're gonna be alright? " Tengen asked him as he stood up and grabbed his water bottle. " I need to head back home to my wife's. I've spent a long time away from them already, and I'm sure they're worried sick for me. " Tengen chuckled, picking up his swords, the metal of the chain making a nice clanking sound against the steel of the swords. Kyojuro looked around thoughtfully, his hands gripping his pants in frustration.

" I think I'm going to stay here and continue to train. " He spoke with a heavy sigh, standing up and picking up his sword. Tengen was in the middle of seething his swords when he suddenly stopped at his words.

" Why? " He asked simply.

" Because I don't want to return to my wife angry. The last thing that I need is to make her worried because I am upset. " Kyojuro spoke with a strange expression on his face. Tengen couldn't read him. It was an odd night for him. Kyojuro had been acting not quite like himself the entire night, and it all started when after they shook hands before sparring. But still, Kyojuro was his friend, and he would do anything he could to give him comfort.

" Listen, you're not perfect, dude. Your woman has to see both sides of you to really understand who you are. " Tengen spoke, moving closer to Kyojuro. " I know you're a perfectionist and want your woman to think nothing but good of you, but trust me bro, flaws are a great thing. Especially in relationships because that is what helps them grow. "

He finished off with one more quote, " If she can't handle you at your worst, than she doesn't deserve you at your best. " A gentle pat was laid onto Kyojuros shoulders, and he felt like he was almost starting to understand his old friend. But he wasn't sure if he wanted to process it yet.

Tengen was getting ready to turn his heel and part ways with his friend before he remembered something. His face twisted with a devious grin that just told Kyojuro he was up to no good. Tengen clicked his tongue and pointed his index finger at him, lightly wiggling it in the process.

" You know, if you're still a little bit tense when you get home... Hehe... " He leaned in, his voice a whisper as he draped his arm over Kyojuros shoulder. Kyojuro didn't like the look on his face. He was definitely about to say something dirty.

" You know how I'm a lifestyle dom.. yada yada, whatever, nobody fucking cares, they've all heard it before--but there's this thing I do with my ladies, alright? How do I put this.. " He took a deep breath, his marron eyes scanning the floor as he searched for the right words. " Whenever Im having a hard day, I like to ' take it out ' on my beautiful wife's. " Tengen said casually, almost as if it was any normal conversation.

What??!!

Whatever Kyojuro was expecting to here from him, it was not that. He knew his best friend was into really hard sex, but he didn't think it would involve that sort of stuff! He stared at him with wide eyes, not blinking for several seconds.

" You hit your wife's?! " Kyojuro blurted out very loudly. Now it was Tengens turn for his eyes to go wide in shock.

" What the fu--no!! What kind of fuckin animal do you take me for?! No I don't hit my wife's!! Why the hell would you think that?! " Tengen demanded, shaking Kyojuros shoulders violently as he shouted at him.

" You said ' take it out!! ' What does that mean, lord Tengen! " Kyojuro asked loudly with curious eyes and an uncanny smile. Tengen took his hands off of Kyojuro and sighed, bamboozled by his friends lack of sexual knowledge.

" Well you have a wife. You guys have sex, right? " Tengen asked as if the question wasn't completely obvious.

" Yes, but it's not as uhm... Flamboyant as the kind you have. " Kyojuro told him, his wide smile never flattening. Excitement arose within Tengens body, and he clapped his hands together and grinned.

" My man!!! " He exclaimed. " Okay here are some pro tips coming from big daddy Tengen okay-- "

" I am not calling you big daddy Tengen. " Kyojuro blurted. Tengen blinked a few times.

" Okay...I didn't ask you to--what? And I'd hope not, dude, you're married-"

" Is that what you have your wife's call you, lord Tengen? It is Flamboyant indeed!! " Kyojuro said in an uncomfortably loud and enthusiastic voice. Tengen could not believe what he was hearing, and he pushed his best friend to the side in an act of pure disgust.

" What??! No--okay, we're getting off topic. Point is-- "

" So the key to having better sex with my wife is to have her call me big daddy Rengoku? "

The silence was so loud.

Tengen lowerd down into a squatting position and put his elbows on his knees and heald his face in his palms.

" Somebody shoot me. " He muttered, his voice dripping with pure misery. " There is no way I just heard you say that. "

Kyojuro was having a very good hearty laugh. Tengen was drowning in utter despair. Kyojuro patted his friends back very hard and laughed even more.

" I am only joking around with you, my friend! Head up. I will allow you to speak now. " He told him, patting his back once more in reassurance. Tengen slowly rose back up and sighed dramatically. Kyojuro stood in silence, waiting for his friend to speak.

" I don't know how I will recover from that, but I suppose I can offer you some words of free advice. Your starting point is telling her what you will do to her, ask her for her permission and then go all out. " Tengen started. " Women like it when you're gentle and loving with them, yes, but they also can find it enjoyable when her man is a bit more rough and crazy in bed. It's way flashier than normal, vanilla sex. "

Kyojuro looked at him weird.

" ...In my opinion. " Tengen added, awkwardly averting his gaze.

" But you, my man, have been having a rough day. So be a bit more rough with her in bed tonight. Spank her, bend her over something, pull her hair, bite her. Let her feel what you are feeling inside, and let me tell you, it will be the best sex of your life. " Tengen felt kind of excited to be sharing this with his friend. Sex was his passion, and being able to share it and his ideas with people made him the happiest man on earth.

Kyojuro felt his mouth going dry at the thought of it. All of the ideas flooded his mind, and he felt his heart racing uncontrollably.

" You said uh... Bending her over? I've never done that before. " Kyojuro repeated, a lump forming in his throat as he spoke. Tengen took a sip of his water and raised his brows.

" Is that what got your attention ? " He grinned. " Chicks dig that shit, man. There's so much more than the classic missionary. Find a countertop, table, foot of the bed--anything and then bend her over it and go at it. Would you like to hear of more positions you can use? "

" Yes. " Kyojuro responded immediately, wanting to know everything he can do to relieve the stress he was still feeling.

" Enthusiasm. That's what I love to hear!! " Tengen laughed before he continued. " Now, of course, you can also do it standing with her legs wrapped around your waist if you're confident. You can also have her bent over with her hands to the ground for a bit of support and deep penetration. There's the flatiron position, the sandwich position, yada yada. "

Kyojuro listened deeply, taking in each word as a mental note as the sound hashira spoke to him. He sure was in expert in this sort of stuff, he was kind of like an encyclopedia for all things related to sex.

" Those certainly are some interesting choices, lord Tengen. Now what is the flatiron? " Kyojuro asked curiously. Tengen smiled.

" Another position where you are behind her. You get on your knees behind her and she leans her face into the mattress and warps her arms around the backs of her knees. It's simple. " Tengen explained. Kyojuro nodded, gathering all the information he was given into his mind and coming up with a plan for exactly what he wanted to do.

" Of course, if you still want to have a missionary but make it more interesting, you can bend her knees back to her chest or hook her legs over your shoulders. Just a few options. " Tengen continued. He stood back up from his squatting position and dusted his pants. He felt around his pockets, and checked himself to make sure he left nothing behind before patting his thighs and giving Kyojuro a large smile.

" I'll be on my way now, my friend. I wish the best for you. " Tengen told Kyojuro, bringing his hand out in a fist for a fist bump. Kyojuro did the same and their knuckles joined together, Tengen making a fake explosion sound as he dramatically uncurled his fingers from a fist. Kyojuro laughed like he always did when they fist bumped after long meetings together like this.

" Till the next time we meet, lad. " Kyojuro nodded at his friend as he began to walk away. Tengen turned to face him and saluted him.

" Have fun! " Tengen yelled before he ran off, quickly disappearing into the distance.

------

The sun was starting to set. The walk back home was excruciatingly long, and the longer Kyojuro spent away from you, the more he began to get irritated. Why couldn't he just magically be with you in an instant? Why did he have to walk through town where it was loud and bright just to get you you? Why don't people ever pay attention to where they are walking? Why did everything have to be so damn irritating?

It was already pitch black outside when he got home. When he entered the house, he was about to shout your name like he usually did when he got home and announce his arrival, but he found you coming out of your bedroom as he closed the front sliding doors.

" You're home. " You remarked, walking up to him and wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him in for a kiss. He noticed you were in the red silky robe that you usually wore when you went to bed. He pulled away from the kiss to comment on it.

" Were you just in bed, my love? " He asked, his hands gliding up your sides and feeling the soft familiar fabric under his fingertips.

" Yeah I just woke up. I figured you would be back later so I wanted to cook you something. Are you hungry, should I still make you something-- " He cut your babbling off with a rough kiss, his hands moving to your jaw as he tilted his head and took your breath away with his kisses. You let out a surprised gasp at the contact, but you were not complaining.

" Why would I need you to make me something with I have my meal In front of me? " Your husband grinned wickedly, picking you up by your thighs and throwing his mouth back into yours, giving you absolutely zero time to react. You were so taken aback by the action, that you almost fell out of his arms from not wrapping your legs around his waist quick enough.

He didn't usually come home this way or say those kinds of things to you, so you were a bit shocked as you kissed him back. Of course he was a bit more forceful with it when he did it than you were, but that was because you were so shocked that it was like you had forgotten how to kiss him completely.

" Breathe. " Kyojuro said, setting you down on top of the kotatsu table in your dining room. You weren't used to this happening at all. You felt dizzy, especially having all of this happen just couple minutes after waking up.

" You okay? " He asked, his gentle calloused fingers reaching out to brush a few strands of your hair behind your ear. He gave you a smile, his golden eyes soft as he stared at you lovingly. You looked up at him with a curious expression, still trying to catch your breath from the previous intense kisses he had given you.

" Are you okay? What's all this about? " You asked him with a nervous chuckle and smile. He felt a pang of guilt stinging him by seeing how shocked and anxious you were. The last thing he wanted was for you to fear him. He hushed you with another kiss, his hands gripping your hips harshly. He had this look in his eyes that you had never seen him with. It felt dangerous.

When he pulled away, his hand turned your body around so that you were laying on your stomach on top of the table. You yelped in surprise, feeling your husband's strong hands on your ankles and pulling your legs off the kotatsu table, your knees pressing against the floor beneath you. Kyojuro was not a weak man. None of the hashira were. They could all take you out with one single smack to the face, so the amount of strength that Kyojuro put into moving you made you feel like you would definitely have bruises where he grabbed you.

" Kyojuro! What has gotten into you? " You demanded, looking at him from behind your shoulder. His hands suddenly released most of the pressure he was putting on you, almost as if he sensed your discomfort. Sensually and slowly, Kyojuros hands ran a long your sides and stomach, feeling anything he could touch. He moved your hair around your neck, exposing some more of your skin to his hungry gaze, allowing his lips to latch on your soft skin.

You were starting to ease into his arms, but you were confused by the position. His lips pecked the sweet spot of your neck slowly, his left lands slipping down to your thigh and his right hand coming up to cup your breast through your robe, causing a little moan to escape your lips. He gently parted your legs and eased your body back down onto the table. You looked at him with raised brows as one of his hands went to touch the knot of your robe.

" I had a tough day at work, so I'm a bit irritated right now. I also know you're nervous, but do you trust me? " His voice was low and quiet against your ear. His hands stilled in place, not moving until otherwise told. " I will not proceed without your consent. "

Your cheeks were a light shade of pink. You were curious to see what he was planning exactly.

" I trust you. "You responded. Kyojuro had a tinge of a smile on his face, and he nodded his head and carefully undid the belt of your robe. Strong hands ran down your arms, stripping them bare of the clothes that acted as a barrier between you both. The actions were so gentle despite the things that he had planned for you that you had thought this was just going to be another regular sex session.

But it was something far more than that. The only reason Kyojuro was even being gentle with you in the moment was because he wanted to at least show you some sweetness before he would absolutely destroy you.

He unbuckled his belt with one hand, the other one keeping him busy as he began to rub your already dripping cunt through your panties. He slipped two fingers beneath the red lace of your panties, his other hand slipping his pants and boxers down just enough for his dick to spring loose.

Kyojuros fingers felt through the silky, warmth of your wet folds. His other hand was pumping his pre-cum lubricated cock as he did this to you, looking at your form as your hips ever so slightly lifted off the table. Your lips parted, and a soft moan escaped your mouth as his fingers gently rubbed against your clit. His fingers rolled again the tiny bud in time with his other hand pumping his cock. But soon, he got tired of it, and he withdrew his fingers from you and hooked them onto your underwear and pulled them down to where they fell at your knees.

Your flesh was now completely exposed to him, your pussy already sensitive and oh so wet and welcoming for his hungry cock. His gently hands undid the clasps of your bra.

" Lift your arms. " He said. You did as told with no opposition. He rolled the straps of the bra down your arms and threw the garment off somewhere into the kitchen. You felt a familiar sense of adrenaline rushing through you, and you were excited but nervous.

" Am I not doing this on my back? " You asked him sweetly, looking over your shoulder where your gazes met. Your eyes were filled with innocence, and the thought of his sweet wife being so oblivious to the things he was going to do to her turned him on harder than anything else.

" Not tonight. Just relax. " He told you, rubbing his arms up and down your back. You took a deep breath and allowed him to do whatever he needed to because you trusted him. Kyojuro wrapped his hand around the shaft of his dick, bringing his cockhead up against your entrance before slowly inching his way inside you. The sensation stung a little as he worked his way past the tip, stretching you out almost painfully. Once he was in enough, he stopped for a moment to allow you to adjust to his size.

" Feel good? " He asked for reassurance. You looked at him and nodded. He grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to him. He set a slow and steady pace at first, grunting while he pushed his cock in and out of you. You had never had sex with him before in this position. It was all new to you but so incredibly exciting. And Kyojuro was enjoying it too, in fact, he may even have been enjoying it too much considering how he was mapping out in his mind the amounts of positions he was going to put you in.

" You know, " he trailed off, running a long finger up your spine and making your skin rise with goosebumps. " I can go on for hours if you'll let me. The only question is, can you keep up? " Even with him being behind you, you could just hear the smirk in his dark tone. You gulped hard at his words, your pussy fluttering against his cock as he slowly began to pick up the pace.

His hips rolled against yours, his cock dragging across your velvety walls and making your hips lift off the table once more. Your face scrunched up in pleasure, and your fingernails scratched the maple tabletop of the kotatsu table. You tried to lift yourself up by bracing your arms on the table, but Kyojuro was quick to splay his hand on your back and force you back down. You grunted, biting your lip in frustration as you fell onto the table. He grabbed your hips with both hands, his hips snapping against yours harshly and leaving you breathless.

" Not fair. " You whimpered, your eyebrows quirking up as you tried to find a comfortable way to lay your head.

" What's not fair? " He teased, knowing full well what you were referring to but wanting to hear you say it.

" You're... You pulled me back down. A-and going fast. " You answered, your legs shaking beneath him.

" I'm sorry, is this not your speed? Would you prefer me to be gentler? "

Kyojuros pace slowed and you whined at the lack of friction. Although, he did not intend for his words to come off as teasing, thats what you took it as and you were becoming very sexually frustrated.

" Why'd you.. ahh.. " you couldn't even finish your sentence from the amount of embarrassment you were in. Your face was bright red, your brows furrowed and your arms already feeling numb.

" See? Now you're a whimpering mess. " Each word was punctuated by a very harsh thrust that sent you screaming each time. You gripped the table beneath you, your face lifting off the table for a short while so you could moan and breathe.

" Is this what you want, sunshine? Huh? " He grunted in your ear, thrusting into you at a pace he rarely ever used. You were so shocked, so consumed by the pleasure that you couldn't even respond to him. Kyojuro twirled a thick bunch of your hair around his fist tightly and harshly pulled your head back so his mouth could meet your ear. You gasped at the pain, your shock only increasing.

" Where are those words, huh, sunflower? Just a moment ago you were all sassy. Is it that good? " He said in a sweet, almost even condescending voice. The emotions you were feeling were too much to handle. Who was this man? Had someone swapped out your loving husband for a more mean version of him?

Kyojuros hand raised and struck against your ass, the sound of the intense impact echoing off the walls. You bit your finger, a yelp escaping your lips from the smack. He had never once did that to you in your nearly 4 years of being his wife.

" Use your words, little flame. " He spoke, his tone genuine this time. Your lips parted, a string of saliva disconnecting your mouth from your finger as you pulled away from your hand. All you were able to get out was a shy whimper.

Kyojuro could sense your shyness and let out a dark chuckle that gave your pussy butterflies.

" Does my little flame like it rough now? " He purred straight into your ear, his lips pecking your neck. Your eyes became wide when one of his hands reached around you to mess with your clit. You felt like you were on fire, his cock ravaging you mercilessly and using your body. Your mouth was open in an ' o ' shape, endless moans and gasps leaving your mouth as pleasure engulfed your every essence like wildfire.

He was panting into your ear, grabbing your breast harshly as his cock slammed into you with brutal force. You bit your lip and your breath came out in short shudders. His fingers were circling around your clit sweetly, the duo sensation of his cock penetrating you and his fingers stimulating your clit making you shake. There was no doubt that you were about to cum.

And then Kyojuro got a sickeningly twisted idea.

He could sense your impending orgasm. Your walls were squeezing him as if he were a damn pencil, and you were becoming so incredibly wet. But he had other plans for you that night, plans that could prove just how mean he can be during sex. Of course, he always enjoyed giving you exactly what you wanted. He was a people pleaser, and he wanted you to be happy and satisfied even In the bedroom. But not tonight. Tonight, Kyojuro was a burning fire of rage, and he was going to show you just how angry he was.

He could tell how much you were enjoying it. How cock hungry you were becoming. So, before you could get that sweet release of an orgasm, he pulled out of you and withdrew his fingers from your clit, leaving you to feel empty. You looked at him with heavy lidded eyes, panting and confused.

" Why'd you pull out? I was almost there. " You whined, your cunt aching for his dick to stuff you and make you feel good again. Kyojuro gave you a sick grin that made your knees weak.

" Oh, don't worry about that, sunshine. You will get to come. Just not now. " He chirped, though there was an underlying of dominance and promise in his voice. And suddenly, like he had been doing all that night since he came back, he ambushed you by standing up and bringing you to your feet with him. He picked you up by your thighs, and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he began to take you into your bedroom.

" Lets get you in here where it's more comfortable. " He spoke, kissing your neck and laying you down on your shared bed gently. He stood between your legs and unbottoned the top of his uniform in front of you, his chiseled, well defined abs. You stared at him in awe, your pussy aching for him even more by the mere sight of him. His arms flexed as he pulled the shirt up and above his head. He kicked his pants and boxers off his ankles, his dick finally in full view for you. You stared with hungry eyes, desperately trying your hardest not to start touching yourself.

Your husband sat on the bed next to you and backed against the headboard. He pulled you into his lap and kissed you deeply for a moment, his fingertips lightly playing with your clit for a couple of seconds before he pulled away from your lips. He looked you up and down, taking in your body.

" Turn around. " He instructed, giving your hips a nice smack. You shakingly did as told, your body incredibly weak even though it had only been one round. Your knees were bent on either side of his thighs as you lowered yourself into his lap. You had your back to his chest, and he carefully guided your body back down onto his still-hard cock. You whimpered softly as he entered you once more, filling your needy cunt that was so incredibly desperate for you.

Kyojuros warm hand went to your back once more and forced your body into the mattress. You grunted as he slowly began thrusting upward and into you. The penetration was so incredibly deep, his cock hauling in and out of your cunt leisurely. He kept his hand on your back, careful not to let you move around that much as that was exactly where he wanted you. Your face was smushed against the red silky sheets on the fluffy mattress, your fingers digging into the sheets.

Kyojuro groaned softly, the warmth your soft pussy provided his cock making him nothing else but buck wild. He couldn't help himself. He wasn't even going to stop himself from pulling his cock all the way out if you before slamming it back into you and making you scream aloud, gripping the sheets for dear life.

" Feel good, sunshine? You like that? " You heard your husband purr from behind you. Your eyes were closed shut so tightly that you were sure they would never open again. Your mouth was hanging open widely and you were drooling all over the sheets, nothing but satisfied moans leaving your lips. He chuckled at your state and smacked your ass again, the harsh impact making you wake up more and yelp. He switched the positions a bit, shifting to his knees and bending over your back.

" I asked you a question. " He growled, his voice low and almost threatening. One arm wrapped around your stomach, but the other snaked around your throat and heald you in a chokehold. Your mind began to scramble frantically. Kyojuro was never his hard with you in bed. Like seriously, you could just feel his anger by the way he even spoke to you.

" Yes-yes. " You choked, tears pricking your eyes as he somehow found a way to fuck you harder. His arm loosened around your neck to allow you to breathe but still had enough force on you to restrict your movements." Feels so good. " You moaned, leaning your head back against his shoulder as you began to cry silently.

" Good girl. " He praised, his voice rumbling against your ear. He kissed the top of your head and let go of your stomach, rubbing your clit once more. The pleasure made you gasp and become limp in his arms.

" So, so, good for me. " Kyojuro cooed, finally letting go of your neck so he could attack it with greedy kisses. You whimpered as his fingers dragged up and down your throbbing clit, your pussy squeezing him for dear life as your orgasm was starting to build up again.

Kyojuro couldn't help but look down between your two joined bodies. The way how your perfect cunt took his dick so good and warmly was egging him on, making him want to fuck you even harder if that was even possible. It was like had had become a different person that night. The way how he took hold of a chunk of your hair from the scalp and pushed your face back down into the mattress just went to show how hard he could go.

" Come on, little flame. Show me how good it feels, yeah? Come all over me, baby. Make a mess. " He encouraged with a rather light ass smack. Your lips parted and your face contorted in pure focus as you let him take you just how he wanted. He could feel how close you were again. And this time, he was feeling generous.

" Kyo...kyojuro--ooo. " You tried to say his name in between broken moans. A sadistic smile spread across your husband's lips as he looked down at you. He reached his arm around you and played with your bottom lip. It was puffy and red, swollen from all the kissing from earlier. His thumb dragged over it before he brought his two middle fingers into your mouth, encouraging you to suck on them.

" You sound so pretty. So broken. " He purred, pulling his cock out completely before slamming if back in with such a force that sent your body shaking uncontrollably. Your eyes were filled deep into the back of your head and suddenly, you couldn't take it anymore. You bit down in your husband's fingers as you came hard onto his cock, squirting all over his lap, the hot liquid dripping down his cock and into the sheets beneath you.

" Look at that. " He laughed darkly, pulling his cock out of you so he could run his fingers over your slippery folds. You couldn't hold the position anymore, so you crawled out of his lap and collapsed onto the bed on your back. Kyojuro gave you a disappointed look.

" Where do you think you're going? "

Fuck.

You shut your thighs and backed up as far as you could away from him until you almost reached the edge of the bed. Your husband pouted at you, looking you up and down and clicking his tongue.

" When did I say I was done with you? We barley even made it to dessert. " He joked in a sickeningly sadistic way as he grabbed you by your ankles and pulled you back underneath him. You gulped hard, a cold tear running down your flushed cheeks. He lovingly took your face in his hands and wiped your tears away with his thumbs.

Kyojuro leaned in to kiss you, his mouth moving against yours in harsh open-mouthed kisses as he picked your legs up by the backs of your knees.

"Are you okay? Do we need to stop? " He asked you, his expression completely and utterly serious. You were having a hard time catching your breath. You had felt light headed and your body was shaking. But even through the pain, you knew you could find pleasure. It also gave you some satisfaction knowing that your husband was feeling better doing this to you, so you nodded your head and smiled at him.

" I'm fine. Do what you need to do. " You said , opening your legs a bit further. Kyojuros lips curled into a wicked smile, and he positioned himself back between your legs, grabbing your knees and pinning them to your chest.

You felt the familiar feeling of his cock slowly being pushed into you once more. The feeling sent you whimpering and squirming around him. Overstimulation wasn't something you were used to. Nothing he was doing to you was anything like you were used to.

And the same thing could be said for Kyojuro. He wasn't used to going that hard, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't having the time of his life. His mind with flooded with lust as he immediately went to fucking you hard like before, not giving you anytime to relax. He just couldn't help himself. His mind was reeling, his body glistening with sweat as he pounded into you as if his entire life depended on it.

" Fuck, " he groaned, his head falling back in pleasure as he fucked you exactly how he needed to. The air around you was thick and warm, the room filled with the heavy pants and moans coming from the both of you. Your pussy was so incredibly sensitive after everything, and he just kept going. Your toes curled in the air, your hips lifting off the bed slightly as he increased his pace.

You let out soft squeaks as Kyojuro lifted your legs up and over his broad shoulders, allowing him to penetrate you deeper. He was putting you in positions he'd never put you in before. It was heaven on earth. The loud squelching noises coming from your incredibly wet cunt filled Kyojuros ears like sweet music. Not only that but the smell of your sex was intoxicating.

" Fuck, little flame.. " He moaned, kissing the parts of your legs that he could reach comfortably as he thrust into you at a steady, hard pace. " My perfect little flame. Taking me so well. " He praised, his sweet words sending butterflies to your pussy. Your face became hot, the sudden sweetness of your husbands words making thing seem oddly intimate after he practically fucked your brains out.

And, he just kept going. Fucking you slowly and hard, his strong hands gripping your thighs and his cock kissing every inch of your pussy. His sweet voice was telling you sweet nothings as he pushed his cock in and out of you with deep thrusts. He shifted his hips a bit, allowing him deeper access to your cunt until it hit that special part of you. You moaned loudly and threw your head back in ecstasy.

He lowered a hand between your thighs, and slowly began rubbing your clit while his hips began to pick up the pace. You let out a gasp and a deep moan, your hips jerking against his and your thighs shaking on his shoulders.

" Aww. Sensitive, are we? " Rengoku teased, his voice deep and rumbling in his chest. You nodded weakly, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as his fingers stroked your clit gently. His sweet words and actions were causing you to suddenly feel embarrassed. Especially because the position was so intimate and face-to-face.

Your face became red and you found yourself turning your head to face the wall instead of your ravenous husband. You brought your fingers up to your lips, suddenly aware of how loud you were being. Of course, it didn't take Kyojuro long at all to catch onto what you were doing.

" Dont be shy, sunflower. " He told you, grabbing your wrist and pinning it to the bed. You slowly looked back at him, too fucked out of your mind to respond in any way. Kyojuro leaned forward, your knees briefly pressing against your chest as he kissed you sweetly. " You know how important being able to hear your moans is to me. "

You let your mouth fall open a bit, your eyebrows twitching up and your eyes squinting as his cock seemed to be slamming into you harder. The hand around your wrists was holding you down so hard that it almost hurt.

" So scream for me baby. " Kyojuro purred, taking your breath away and making you gasp as he violently thrashed into you. You screamed at the contact, your hands vigorously scrambling for the red sheets beneath you as your husband ceased to surprise you. He let go of your wrist and used that hand to fondle your clit once more. How he was able to keep up like this after training so hard all day and the previous rounds he had gone on you was beyond you.

Your abdomen was starting to burn with another orgasm starting to build up within you. Kyojuro was feeling the same thing. He put down your legs to help you feel more comfortable, and you wrapped them around his waist, welcoming him in even deeper into you. He was panting, and he grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled your head back, giving him access to your neck.

He sucked in the nape of your neck, his other hand rubbing tight circles around your oversensitive clit and his cock jamming against your g-spot. All of it was perfect. There wasn't any other way to put it, it was simply heaven.

" Kyo-Kyo-oo-juro. " You moaned shakingly, your legs clenching around his waist. He couldn't sense your orgasm building up again, and so he thrusted into you harder. You moaned with every thrust, and he growled in your ear.

" Louder. " He snarled against your ear, smacking your ass hard. You whimpered and weakly moved your mouth to his good ear. You moaned directly into it, your fingernails clawing at his back. He didn't seem to flinch at the contact, in fact, it only egged him on further. He kissed your neck sweetly before he bit down on it, inflicting a loud grunt out of you in the process.

" Kyojuro! " You yelled this time, bucking your hips towards his and arching your back off the bed while you clung onto him. You could feel his lips curling up into a smirk against your neck while he kissed you.

" Good girl. " He huffed, rising his body up and holding onto the headboard with one hand as he pounded into you. The headboard slammed against the wall, the bed creaking under your bodies as he fucked you in an almost animalistic way. The primal look in his eyes as he gritted his teeth and fucked you hard was something you had never expected to see in him.

It made your pussy ache just seeing him like he was in that moment. He still had one of his hands in-between your thighs, continuing to rub you clit. You scratched his forearm and squeaked loudly as he persisted to give you exactly what you needed. He was panting heavily, and he looked at you with heavy lidded eyes, his firey blond and red hair sticking to his sweaty face.

" Little flame, I am going to come soon. Where can I? " He asked, his voice husky but very hoarse, his fatigue finally starting to show after going on for so long. You curled your fist into the sheesh under you and looked back at him with an expression that mirrored his own.

" I-inside. " You muttered, your voice so quiet that his half-deaf ears didn't even pick up on it. The only way he even knew what you said was because he read your lips: a skill he had become a master of ever since he damaged his ear drums in battle.

Kyojuro flew his head back, his thrusts starting to slow down and become sloppy as his orgasm started to become more apparent. He braced his arms at either side of your head and stole your lips in another heated kiss. His hips shook, and hot ropes of his long-awaited orgasm finally spilling into your warm core. He buried himself to the hilt and sat still for a moment as he came inside you.

Your orgasm followed shortly behind his after he pulled out, keeping you busy and warm by fingering you and stimulating your sensitive clit. The hot liquid of your cum dropped down his fingers, and that was the moment when the both of you had decided that you were satisfied. His withdrew his fingers from your warmth and collapsed onto the bed next to you.

For several minutes, it was just the both of you trying to cool off without moving too much and laying next to each other, the room filled with your joined panting. You usually didn't immediately go to cuddling after sex because Kyojuros body had the tendancy to ' overheat ' like a battery and it took him a very long time to cool down. He turned to look at you, reaching his warm hand out to brush some loose strands of hair out of your face.

" How are you feeling? " He asked you, looking at you with a smile. You smiled back and intertwined your fingers with his.

" Good. Are you feeling better? You said earlier you were upset. " You recalled, getting butterflies as you remembered the way he bent you over the kotatsu table. He looked at you blankly like he usually did when he didn't hear what you said.

Kyojuro did not pick up on that last part of the sentence.

" Come again? " He leaned his good ear closer to your mouth, inviting you to repeat what you said.

" You said you were upset earlier. " You said, louder this time. " What were you upset about? "

Kyojuro chuckled and moved back to where he was before, propping himself up on his elbow.

" Who knows? I can't even remember. "

[marscardigan]

am I making you feel sick?

ellie williams x reader

part 2

Summary: after a fight with ellie, you decide to go for a walk. Little did you know, you weren’t alone in the woods.

Warnings: Verbal fight, normal tlou violence

It was another afternoon where you and Ellie went to check if the nearer cabins were free from infected. You loved going out with your girlfriend, even if the plan wasn't your favorite.

You were almost arriving at the last cabin when, without even noticing, your foot got stuck inside a bear trap. You let out a guttural scream when the iron claws bit your flesh. Ellie ran towards you, helping you to open it.

"Shit! Didn't you see it? Damn it, y/n" She hissed.

"I know, I know, I'm so- Fuck!" Ellie swiftly threw the trap away, covering your open wound with her hoodie. She then helped you to get up, grabbing your arm so you could pass it through her shoulders.

"We can go to the cabin and clean it up, then we can go back home"

The road to the cabin was longer than you expected, making your head dizzy from the tiredness. Or maybe you did feel sick for all the blood that you lost along the way. Ellie sat you on the floor, taking off the now red stained hoodie from your thigh.

"Holy s-" You were going to throw up if you saw how bad it was. Ellie called your name, locking gazes. "We won't be able to make it to Jackson tonight, fuck"

"I'm sorry Els, I-"

"No, don't apologize" She sighed, getting up to search for an aid kit Joel always kept inside these cabins. "But, if you're not capable of doing these missions, I don't know why you bother to come"

You then opened your eyes, the pain on your leg felt like nothing in comparison with the pain that was installed on your chest after Ellie's comment. "What are you talking about? What happened today was a mistake, I wasn't careful enough, I-"

"Exactly" Ellie stood up in front of you, crossing her arms. "You are not careful enough. What if some clickers heard you scream, huh? What if you actually lost your leg?"

You were quiet for a moment. "Ellie, don't say that. I always try to be careful outside."

"Yeah, you try, but maybe you don't try enough. What happened today may have been a mistake, but what about the other day, when you failed your shot? Or last week, when you tripped while running from an infected? You are going to get yourself killed. I don't even know why you came to all these missions if you are not ready for them."

Your girlfriend might be right, but at that moment, you needed comfort, not a scolding from her. "I came to all of these missions to be with you, and to help you"

"Maybe you could be a better help staying home" She spat.

You scowled at your girlfriend. "Sure thing, I can do that" You started to get up, hissing at the pumping pain of your thigh.

Ellie sighed. "No, wait, babe, you are injured"

"Don't come near, it's the last thing I need." You shook your head, still hurt for Ellie's words. "I think you should go."

"What?"

"Go" You couldn't look at her face. "I will come back home tomorrow" "You have to be crazy to think I'll leave you here, alone and injured" She spoke hurt.

"Fine, if you don't go, I'll leave." You went for the door, but Ellie got between your body and the door. "For god's sake, I need five minutes alone" You snarled. "You've gone too far"

You took advantage of her quietness to open the front door of the cabin. You needed some fresh air.

You started to walk as your injured leg allowed you, and before you even know it, it started to get dark. Your leg was killing you, so you decided it was best to sit down for a while. Taking a deep breath, you tried to change the bandage Ellie had put you, but before you could do anything, a sound you knew all too well made you shiver. A clicking noise.

[zutarawasrobbed]

ALTA Live Action Season 1 Initial Thoughts (Spoilers)

I just finished the season, and holy shit!

Quick things that need to be addressed/debunked:

“Sokka is no longer sexist”

I dont know what people were talking about when they talked about Sokka’s “sexism” being removed. It’s still there! But not in the overly exaggerated comical way it was in the original.

In fact, it’s more in line with ancient practices of indigenous tribes where men are seen as protectors and providers while women are expected to nurture. It’s not the same “boys are better than girls” narrative in the original.

Additionally, Suki still beats the fuck out of Sokka and humbled him really quick. They’re super cute by the way. And I love Suki’s “I like my men a little stupid” vibe. She’s great.

“Aang doesn’t run away like the original!”

That is not true. He does run away, but not because he’s trying to get away from the temple but instead to get some air because he feels overwhelmed. He’s more like taking a quick break and planning to come back. It’s not exactly the same, but almost. It also is done in a way where his guilt feels more justified.

“Katara doesn’t talk about her mom anymore like the original”

This is true… BECAUSE THEY SHOW INSTEAD OF TELL. I was honestly not prepared to see the death Kya in such graphic detail and how Katara was in the room hiding when it happened. It’s honestly really sad and more heartbreaking.

Plot:

The timeline seems to be ambiguous compared to the original series where it was “end of current year.” In fact, they repeat “three years” a few times, which makes me think if the series get greenlit for more seasons, it would be over a three year period.

Jet is still villainized but given more nuance and not a simple "good v bad" way like the original.

Zuko’s story about how he got his scar has additional lore that makes him come across as even more selfless and compassionate. The additional context of the platoon he advocated for in the war meeting, becoming his current crew, really added to the story.

Eradicated the nepotism baby plot point with Pakku only training Katara when he finds out he used to date her grandma. Instead, Katara proves herself and ends up teaching the other male fighters the techniques she learned from watching other benders use their elements and mimics them.

This season doesn’t have Aang learning any waterbending, but rather facing his trauma and the consequences of his actions. He get roasted by all his past lives. Which is an interesting choice, but I think it works well in how they executed it.

This season seems to actually be Katara focused and her journey of learning waterbending which I honestly loved because it really hits home the element of “water” being the story of an untrained waterbender learning her element. But, I do think Aang could’ve learned a little bending. It felt a little off.

Katara ends up advocating for all waterbending women and ends up leading an army of both men and women during the siege. She’s really bad ass and is given the title of master without being formally trained by Pakku. She made herself a master.

I think the timeline is a little wonky because of how much they had to fit in with the limited episodes they had.

Kuruk is given respect! I loved that.

June actually seems into Iroh which I thought was a funny but cool way to flip the script from the original.

The relationship between Zuko and Iroh is really beautifully executed. I love the depth they added with flashback scenes and their bond prior to the Agni Kai. It also wasn’t as frustrating watching Iroh and Zuko’s dynamic because Iroh communicated with Zuko in a way he could understand with straight answers rather than seeming to actively sabotage him with cryptic puns and shenanigans like the original.

They changed the love triangle with Yue Hahn and Sokka to be very healthy. They gave Yue autonomy and a choice in her relationship- which- again- is much more in line with indigenous cultures. Also, Hahn and Sokka’s relationship is really supportive and full of respect and no ill will.

They way they handled grief and the realities of war with the loss of life was very well done and really drove home the point that this is a war and these are child soldiers.

There’s a lot more but these are my initial thoughts. Will probably post more later.

Shipping:

Kataang is all but removed. Literally DOA. There is no indication of a crust on either side. It’s painted like a sibling relationship, which is like the original, but this time everyone seems to be on the same page. But, I swear the writers had to have read ZK fics because damn.

They canonized a popular Zutara theory/hc about the cave of two lovers and how the crystals would light up once it went completely dark instead of a “kiss” activating the crystal glow.

Speaking of the Cave of two lovers. They keep the Oma and Shu story with red and blue coloring. Making it come across more as foreshadowing than a direct link to the present tunnel story.

Sokka is put in Aang’s place with Katara in the tunnels and turned it into a story about the love of family and sibling bonds. Aang wasn’t even present.

Zuko and Katara share a meaningful look when they first see each other and continue to have a Katara centric scene followed by a Zuko centric scene and vice versa.

The scarf scene. I will not be elaborating further. If you know, you know.

Zuko and Katara fight scene in the North is epic. He still taunts her with almost the exact same dialogue but it’s so sassy- I love the banter.

Suki and Sokka were really cute and the actors had great chemistry. I think Yue and Sokka was really rushed and didn’t really feel anything about them, honestly. But I attribute that to lack of episodes to develop all that plot.

[yasmindifference]

8 (my birthday is the 8!)

The night is unseasonably warm, barely even cool enough for long sleeves. As such, the suit jacket Jason drapes around Tim's shoulders five minutes into their walk nearly makes him roll his eyes.

He channels his reaction into a girlish giggle instead, then has to swallow a more sincere laugh when he sees how the high-pitched sound nearly cracks Jason's mask.

"You're soooo chivalrous," Tim says, unable to resist pushing that little bit further. His Valley girl impersonation puts a twitch in Jason's eye every time. "Like, swoon."

Jason wraps an arm around Tim's waist--probably solely to disguise the sharp pinch he delivers to Tim's side--and smiles down at him.

"You deserve it, baby," he says, in the same smarmy tone he's been using all night.

It makes Tim want to punch him, a reaction he's sure Jason's eliciting on purpose--after all, he's been doing the same thing with his own Valley girl impersonation.

...It's possible he and Jason aren't taking this mission as seriously as they should be.

Oh well.

In retaliation for the pinch, Tim fakes a stumble over a crack in the sidewalk and drives his elbow into Jason's gut, earning a faint oof he wants to smile over.

Instead, he puts his hands to his face in exaggerated dismay.

"Oh, I'm so clumsy," he says mournfully. "It's so embarrassing..."

Jason brushes his hair (or rather, his wig) out of his face and twists his ear painfully in the process; Tim applies his stiletto heel to the toe of Jason's left shoe.

"You're not clumsy, baby, it's just those shoes," Jason says, voice a little tight--with pain or annoyance? Tim can't tell. "You want me to go get the car?"

"No, no," Tim says, "it's such a nice night--just look at those stars!"

He tips his head back and gazes dreamily at the sky which, being in Gotham, shows not a single star.

"They're so beautiful," he says happily.

"Not as beautiful as you," Jason says, with such smarmy passion that Tim barely remembers to hide the laugh he can't help behind a cough.

"Oh, pookie bear," he says--

--and finally, Jason breaks.

He lets go of Tim's waist to brace his hands against his knees as he cackles, choking out "fucking hell" and "pookie" as he struggles to catch his breath.

Tim just smiles and enjoys the victory.

"Okay," Jason says once he catches his breath, "holy shit, you win. How the fuck did you say that with a straight face?"

"Practice," Tim says dryly. "You play the tough guy too often. You should branch out more, broaden your range. Then you won't be so easy to shake."

Jason gives him a flat look and, straightening to his full height, spreads his arms in a silent invitation to look at him. Admittedly, Jason's height and bulk do make him less than ideal for the kinds of covers Tim prefers.

Tim was bullshitting anyway--Jason might default to tough guy, but he's entirely capable of more versatile covers. And he really wasn't that easy to shake; Tim was kind of expecting to break him when he showed up in a dress, stilettos, and wig without warning. Instead, he lasted all through dinner and a ways into their walk.

"Okay, you lasted a lot longer than I expected," he admits.

Jason smirks. "Admit it, I almost got you at dinner."

It's true that Tim came extremely close to breaking when Jason spoke over and ordered for him at the restaurant. Tim actually didn't get to say a single word to their waitress--not even thank you.

"You almost got a plate dumped in your lap," he corrects. Now that they've given up the covers, he shrugs out of Jason's jacket and hands it back. "I could see Ashley thinking about it every time you cut me off."

"Yeah, that was a close one," Jason agrees. "I doubled my usual tip in thanks for her restraint."

Tim nods in approval. "But yeah, admittedly I was not expecting you to go the--"

"Hello?" Dick's voice breaks in, thick with annoyance and a little too loud over the comms. "Did you guys forget that you have a job to do? This does not sound like an undercover conversation!"

Tim and Jason trade eyerolls.

"Good catch, Dickiebird," Jason says. "We are not in fact undercover."

"Excuse me?"

"Dick," Tim says with extreme patience, "Damian is a trained vigilante. He absolutely does not need us as backup on his first date."

Dick gasps in offense. "We agreed--"

"No, we agreed," Jason corrects.

"Yeah, we agreed your mother-henning was out of control," Tim says. "We tipped off Damian last night so he could change his reservation."

"And got Babs to find something to distract you with so you couldn't come follow him yourself," Jason adds.

Dick splutters.

"Take a deep breath," Tim suggests.

"Chill the fuck out," is Jason's less gentle contribution. "Anyway, we're done for the night. You should call it, too--maybe work on remembering the kid is sixteen and not six."

"Harsh but fair," Tim agrees thoughtfully. "Night, Dick!"

Dick is still spluttering when Tim pulls out his comm.

"How much do I owe you for dinner?" he asks Jason.

Jason shrugs and slings his jacket over one shoulder. "Buy me ice cream, we'll call it even."

"Deal," Tim says.

Because he, unlike Damian, is no longer a teenager, he doesn't ask if going for ice cream constitutes a real date.

He can't stop himself from wondering, though.

Happy early birthday, anon!!! In celebration, this got very long lmao. Prompt #8 was two characters on a nighttime stroll! I hope you enjoyed! ♡♡

[malereadermaniac]

You smell good ~ Yoichi x Male Reader

Hanging out with Yoichi, and he notices your smell... and then you notice his. Top!Yoichi x Bottom!Reader word count: 2.7k - this is so much longer than expected lmao Nsfw / MDNI ~ amab m!reader / FDNI Smut warning: Musk/scent kink, crotch and armpit sniffing, pubic hair, dirty sex

Yoichi and you were paired up for whatever camp-work you had to do that day - alone and separated from everyone by quite the distance

It wasn't exactly awkward, but it's not really that easy to strike up regular conversation with the guy who rearranged your guts like a week ago

Jeez, you don't want to think back on that - not because you didn't like it, but if you ponder on it for too long blood will rush to areas you don't want it to rush to

Luckily, after a couple of minutes of working in silence, Yoichi strikes up a conversation - to him, the situation was anything but awkward, he found some sort of comfort when alone with you

Chatting about your lives, future, and family made the work go a little faster - and you really enjoy talking to the wolf-boy

The conversation even became deep at one point, offering words of comfort and warm smiles as Yoichi talked to you about his days on the streets

As the talk kept going and the workload slowly lessened, you guys almost finished up - you had just gotten stuck on your final step

You were very obviously frustrated and struggling with a stupid wrench - your arms not strong enough to start with, but you were also holding the wrench wrong...

"Oi... need help, softy?" Yoichi says with a lift of his eyebrows and a teasing grin

"No!........... Yeah... Yeah I do, please" you quickly give in, that fucking wrench making you want to cry

Yoichi chuckles in a needlessly attractive way as he walks over to you, sitting next to you - covering your hand with his masculine, veiny one as he takes the wrench with his other hand

A few moments pass by as Yoichi finishes your work up and you notice him inching closer and closer to you - his nose pointing up slightly as if he was actually a fucking dog

"Hey... you smell fucking good" Yoichi says as his head snaps towards you

Sniffing closer and closer to towards you, the wrench dropped on the floor, his sharp face moving against your neck as he smells you

Yoichi really looks like a wolf in this moment, nuzzling at your neck subtly, his body holding onto yours to keep him up as he leans into you, the wolf-boy continously complimenting your scent and soft skin

"Ah- Thanks? It's just water and y'know soap..." you say, blushing profusely at the muscular man's body almost being on top of yours at this point

"Huh? The fuck is 'soap'?" Yoichi ask as he moves away from your neck, hand on your shoulder still holding himself up as he looks at you with a cute, confused look

"Y'know... soap?? Like the bar or gel that you have to use to actually clean yourself?" You question, a worried look on your face as the confused look on Yoichi's simply increases

"Wait a minute..." you mumble, holding onto Yoichi's camp shirt to move yourself closer to you

You move your nose against him and smell

"Fuck!- DAMN YOU STINK, YOICHI!" You shout as you dart back from the scruffy man's body - laying on the ground with your arms supporting you from behind

A strong and thick scent of sweat and manly musk wss whaf flooded your nostrils, almost making you feel light-headed

"Oi! It's the smell of a real man - what would you know? Fuckin' pansy~" Yoichi says with a cocky grin as he flexes his muscles above you - his armpits evidently damp with his dark purple armpit hair poking out

You roll your eyes as you sit up from the ground, but rolling your eyes couldn't hide the very obvious boner that you didn't notice you had...

"HOLY SHIT DUDE HAHAHAHA!" Yoichi bursts into laughter as he pointed at the tent in your camp shorts - you blushing profusely as you move your hands to cover the situation

"See, baby, even you can't deny how the smell of a real, sex-machine of a man affects you!" Yoichi says with a cocky smirk, crouching down to your level as his legs spread in a slutty way, showing off his built thighs

"Now let's deal with your little problem... and also the huuuge~ problem you've cause me with that cute look on yer face" Yoichi teases you, gesturing to his hardening cock between his sweaty thighs

"NOW?! Anyone could see us! Are you crazy, Wolf-boy?!" You say with shock on your face, but Yoichi just chuckles

"Don't worry your pretty little head, no-one even comes round here. Plus we're hidden behind a cabin~" he mumbles in your ear coyly as the buff man pushes you against the cabin wall and crawls on top of you

'He's one to call my head little...' you think to yourself as Yoichi undresses above you, his godly fucking muscles flexing as he takes his Camp shirt off

In this close proximity, Yoichi's scent is all that you can smell, his musk making your dick twitch - along with the sight of Yoichi's built arms and bushy armpits

The manly scout licks his teeth and sticks his tongue out with an open-mouth smirk - "heh heh~ you just can get enough of me, can you? Fuckin slut"

Your mind is basically turning to mush at this point from the man's smell, his killer body, and most of your blood going to your cock and not your brain; so you just nod in agreement at Yoichi's degrading remark, making the cocky man chuckle some more

Your shirt is thrown aside along with Yoichi's, his hands around your throat and waist as he brings his wet lips to yours - his tongue immediately dominating yours into a wet and fierce kiss

You moan into the brutish man's mouth, pathetically attempting to grind your dick against his

After getting his fill of your lips, Yoichi moves down your neck and past your collar bone to your nipples - attacking your sensitive buds with his teeth and tongue as you whimper and moan his name, egging the purple-haired man on

Once your nipples are puffy and red, bite marks creating a perfect border around each bud, Yoichi wipes the spit off of his chin with his thumb in one swipe and looks down at you with incredibly horny eyes

"Your turn now, clean me up~ You're the one who said i needed a bath, fuckin' priss" and in saying that, Yoichi flexes an arm behind his head and uses his other to filter his fingers through your hair and push your head into his intoxicating musky armpit

You were shocked for about 2 seconds until you let Yoichi's manly smell envelope you - his incredibly bushy pits, wet and dark in colour, filling your nostrils to the brim

"Hahahaha! New you'd fuckin' love it, lick 'em clean, (n/n)!" Yoichi laughs from above you, and you obey his command - your brain Turing into goo from the wolf-boys scent

You immediately start to lap at Yoichi's hairy, sweaty pits - the salty yet enjoyable taste on your tongue turning you on even further

Yoichi smirks at the feeling of you desperately grinding your still clothed crotch against his thigh, but he sadistically ignores your wordless pleas for friction

The dominant, muscular man getting even more turned on by the horny, dazed, even hypnotised look in your eyes as you mouth at his armpit

The salty taste long faded away, Yoichi armpit was now very wet with your spit

"Fuck you really loved that didn't ya? How bout you get to the main course though, pretty boy?" Yoichi says with a horny grin, the nickname he only calls you when he wants you turning you on an inexplicably lot

With that, you sadly parted from the man's now clean, hairy armpit and rearranged your body in turn with Yoichi

You gently pushed the masculine male back onto his ass, his muscular, sweaty legs spread to make just enough room for your head

You get on all-fours and crawl closer to Yoichi's crotch - making his dick twitch and even giving him an idea for future role-playing

As Yoichi takes his shorts off while trying to hide his excitement, you nuzzle your head against his thighs - actually starting to get high from Yoichi's musky, sweaty scent

Finally, Yoichi was left in only his signature, stary purple, incredibly loose boxers

You dart your head towards his clothed crotch instantly - making Yoichi chuckle at your actions while watching you intensely

Everything you did made Yocihi like you more and more, you were just so fucking hot and cute in the way you were sorta clueless yet doing your best

You start to smell Yoichi through his loose boxers, pushes your nose against his crotch as you inhale the scent of not only his incredibly sweaty and definitely unwashed boxers but also the smell of his sweaty, reeking cock and balls

Your eyes roll to the back of your head and your face floods with a blush, turning making Yoichi's dick twitch at the sight as he let's out a passing comment and a groan

You push your nose deeper in the man's crotch, inhaling his intoxicating scent and starting to lap at his balls through his baggy boxers

As you soaked Yoichi's already musk drenched and partially cum-stained boxers, the muscular man above you began to get impatient and desperate for you

"C'mon pretty boy... get yer fill and lemme fuck you already~" Yoichi groans from the limited simulation of your tongue on his clothed cock

You chuckle at his remark while visibly dazed, but comply with the dominant man - running a hand up his crotch and slipping two fingers under his waistband

You pull his waistband and hook it under Yoichi's saggy, heavy balls, keeping his underwear down

His massive, thick cock springs out, resting on your face as his scent thickens x100

His veins are prominent and lead all the way down to his base, which is absolutely covered by bushy, dark-purple pubes which reek of Yoichi's manly musk

You don't suck the man off, instead opting to smell him even more while barely giving him a few kitten licks from time to time

In situations like this, you liked to threaten Yoichi's dominance just a little - and you could tell it turned the masculine man on

Fuck was his stink so fucking good, intoxicating, you can feel yourself getting drunk off of Yoichi's scent as you wrap a soft hand around his fucking thick cock and move it to the side to stuff your nose with his damp pubes

Yoichi groans at your touch and at your licks, your tongue gently grazing the man's veins and very rarely touching his tip and foreskin

By the time you'd gotten your fill of the muscular man's smell, Yoichi was already twitching violently, his mouth slightly agape as he drooled from his need of further stimulation

"Haha... c'mon, Bigboy! Where's that dominant attitude from before, huh?" You tease Yoichi, getting up from his crotch and sitting on his lap, grinding your ass against his cock

Yoichi snaps out of his daze with a 'tsk' and a deep, short chuckle - his strong, rough, veiny hands moving to grip your waist as his hips grind up into you

Yoichi holds himself up against the back of the cabin, which is actively hiding you both, allowing his hips to slightly lift up off the ground to rut against you even more

He sits up and hugs you, his muscular arms around your waist as his hands fix on your cheeks

Yoichi spreads your ass and lines his cock up with your hole, his head on your shoulder looking over to make sure his can line his cock up to your hole exactly

The warmth of his body gave you comfort, his muscles against your skin turning you on a lot as his hands on ass made you even hornier

With his sweaty body against yours, muscular arms holding you in place, Yoichi kisses your shoulder and starts to enter you

Your hands move to the man's built back, holding onto Yoichi as you let out a pleasured yet slightly pained moan - he stretched you out briefly as you got drunk off his cock but it still hurt

Yoichi moans against your neck as he gently bites it, moaning and groaning in pure pleasure as he buries his dick all the way inside of you

Yoichi, being quite the gentleman, gives you time to adjust to his fucking thick, big dick - his head moving off your your shoulder to kiss you passionately, his hands moving to your waist and your cheek as he kisses you with passion and with what he denies is love

Your tongue plays with Yoichi's as you adjust to his size, and once that happens, you subconsciously start to grind your hips against Yoichi - making the woldboy smirk against your lips

Yoichi starts to move you up and down on his dick, his hips also working to fuck into you

All pain having evaporated, you get overwhelmed with pleasure from the stretch and from Yoichi's massive fucking cock punching your prostate at every thrust

Your nails dig into the man's muscular back, dragging pinkish scratch marks down Yoichi's back as you moan his name and whimper into his ear like some sorta pornstar

Yoichi bites and kisses your neck, moaning as he sets a fast and rough pace with his hips, his hand gripping your waist hard, maneuvering you up and down on his cock

Your dick rubs against Yoichi's hard abs, giving you the friction you need to approach your climax

The purple-haired man is also getting closer by the second, your previous teasing of his cock making him last less than he did last time

Yoichi's body is drenched in his sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead sexily and your skin sticking to his

Yoichi moves an arm around your neck, pulling you away from his body to look at him and then pushing you against his muscular chest and smashing your face into the hairy crease of his armpit

Yoichi's musk is what sends you over the edge, along with his horny laugh and the feeling of him punching your prostate with his huge cock

You moan into Yoichi's body and grip onto him tightly, his arm slightly suffocating you from his strength and literal surface area due to his muscles

Yoichi, still going strong for as long as he can, keeps fucking into you throughout your orgasm, making you twitch and moan his name like a whore

Your ass clamps down on Yoichi after you come down from your earth-shaking orgasm - you warm, gummy walls tightening around Yoichi like a vice

Finally, the string Yoichi was holding onto snaps, his grip on you tightening as he hugs your body into his as tightly as he possibly could - his thrusts not stopping as he fucks you through his orgasm, practically overstimulating himself

You start to get lightheaded from Yoichi's tight 'hug', that mixed with his manly, thick musk sends you over the edge a second time, your dick spurting out a second, weaker load as Yoichi fills your insides with his thick, manly cum

Panting and weak groans/moans are all that can be heard for a solid couple of minutes once you two come down, that life-changing sex having taken it out of you both

Once you've both recovered, Yoichi gently pulls out of you and holds you up as he removes himself from your pretzel-like situation

"You all good, softy?" Yoichi asks, croutching before you with his hand holding your chin up to his face

"Heh... yeah, just a little dizzy" you mumble, pecking Yoichi on the lips

As the two of you clean up and dress back into your camp uniform, Yoichi chuckles to himself

"Still got complaints about my smell, pretty boy?" Yoichi says smugly, eyes you up with a grin

"Yeah, yeah, whatever... I still expect you to shower." You chuckle but then deadpan by the end, making Yoichi laugh to himself - his thoughts currently only on one topic; you

[thebuddiearchives]

BUDDIE FIC RECS ✴ ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP ✴ VOL. 1

Fic recs with Buck and Eddie in an established relationship.

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all the roads, for your steps by @hattalove Oneshot || Teen || 1796

“I have a minute,” Bobby, still standing there, says when Eddie just blinks at him, frozen. “Are you okay? You look like you need to sit down.”

“I’m, uh,” Eddie swallows, “I’m cursing the patriarchy. Just give me a second.”

or, eddie has a question to ask.

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and longer by far by farfromthstars // @doeeyeseddie Oneshot || Teen || 14547

“Eddie’s been married once, and after Shannon asked him for a divorce and then died before they could do anything about it, he figured that was it for him. One marriage with all its ups and downs is enough for a lifetime. Granted, he didn’t think he’d fall in love with Buck and be lucky enough for that love to be returned.”

OR

Everyone seems to expect Eddie to propose to Buck any minute now, which is annoying because Eddie doesn’t want to get married again. He's sure of that. Or is he?

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Asked, Offered, Given, (He's) Taken by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels Oneshot || Explicit || 2704

People like to flirt with Buck on calls. It kind of makes Buck uncomfortable.

And that makes Eddie frustrated.

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Been about 273 days and I’m coming home. by zimnokurw Oneshot || Not Rated || 1827

When Hen first met Evan Buckley (“call me Buck”) she thought the kid, who looked like a womanizer type, was going to be trouble.

What she did not think was that she was going to win 60$ from Chimney thanks to the fact that the kid is apparently in love with a hot-ass Army Medic.

(Or; Eddie is still in Afghanistan when Buck joins 118, so the team meets him for the first time when he drops by to surprise Evan. / But kinda also like Hen + Chim & Bobby react to Buck as a rookie.)

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beneath my mother tongue by archerincombat Oneshot || Teen || 31552

He sits bolt upright in his seat. Jee-Yun squeals at the sudden movement. “Holy shit,” he says out loud, simultaneously praying that it doesn’t become one of those words his niece repeats until it loses its sparkle. “I told Eddie I loved him.”

Jee-Yun laughs. It feels a little like she’s mocking him. “Dee,” she agrees solemnly, placing a tiny hand on Buck’s cheek.

Or: Buck goes home to Pennsylvania. It's more familiar than he wants it to be.

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bulletproof morning by not1_2write Oneshot || Explicit || 4493

It's not unusual for people to hit on Buck during calls. Beautiful, caring, competent, muscled Buck? Yeah, he gets hit on a lot. He always turns them down. He's taken after all and he only has eyes for Eddie.

Eddie isn't jealous. He is, however, a little insecure. Buck's had a lot of experience with sex and Eddie... not so much. That's not a bad thing... is it?

They have sex about it, then talk.

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call me by your name by ipretendtobesane // @userbuddie Oneshot || Not Rated || 11490

5 times someone calls buck 'diaz' not knowing he was married and the 1 time they call eddie 'diaz' too

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call you home by ashavahishta Oneshot || General || 6000

"He’s like, so pretty sometimes I can’t believe he’s real?” He’d rambled once, so tired at the end of shift he was basically drunk with it. “I’ll take your word for it,” Hen had said patiently, and patted him on the shoulder. “I like girls, remember?”

“He’s built like a Greek god with the face of an angel,” Eddie had argued, a stubborn set to his mouth like he was determined for Hen to believe just how gorgeous his husband was. “Even you couldn’t resist that.”

Or: "Eddie Diaz drinks his 'I fucking love my husband' juice for 6,000 words." OR "5 Times Eddie Told The Firefam About Buck and 1 Time They Actually Met Him".

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doing the things that animals do by @trippedandfell Oneshot || Teen || 3846

“Hey,” Buck says, reaching out to grab Eddie's hand. “How do you feel about red carpets?”

“Tacky in a bedroom, decent in a living room,” Eddie deadpans, because he likes to think he’s funny.

or: Buck's still a zoologist. Eddie's definitely in love.

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Eyes On You by sealeviathan Oneshot || Not Rated || 1060

Hen liked their new probie.

Buck was easy to get along with. He had a husband and a son, he was good at his job and helped everyone to the best of his ability. Not only that, but he was actually interesting. He was passionate, funny, caring and he fit well into the team dynamic. Hen was happy with this information - happy with her knowledge of one Evan Buckley.

That being said, she really didn't expect Buck to be the disloyal type. But here he was, at a bar, practically drooling over some bartender in front of all of his coworkers. The guy even seemed familiar with Buck.

---

Or: The fic where Buck blatantly lusts over Eddie. Hen and Chimney worry they're about to witness a marriage-ending move because Buck failed to mention that Eddie is the man he's married to.

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his name on your heart by spinningincircles // @tripleaxeldiaz Oneshot || Not Rated || 1258

Buck hops off the back of the ambulance, kneeling down so they’re eye to eye. “I’m always happy to help, sweetheart, but my name’s not—”

But he stops, because it hits him like a freight train — he is Mr. Diaz now.

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If I Fall, Can You Pull Me Up? by @princessfbi Oneshot || General || 7066

Eddie could pick Buck from a million miles away. Buck’s entire being was like one bright light in an otherwise cloudy sky. So, he was really interested to know why some stranger was wearing his boyfriend’s turnout coat and pretending to be him.

“This is Captain Nash for Firefighter Buckley. Please report.”

“Bobby,” Eddie said, already hurrying after the guy who was definitely not Buck. “Hey!”

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leading the way home by theosbuckley Oneshot || Not Rated || 4082

Now almost 2 weeks later Bobby was definitely sprouting some new grey hairs that had definitely not been there before and he was sure that he almost had a heart attack this morning - Buck thought he could do some daring rescue and did it without a second thought, and Bobby was slowly going insane, how Buck thought of these ideas was beyond him.

or

an au where buck joins the 118 but is married

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the measuring contest by ColorMeParanoid // @color-me-paranoid Oneshot || Teen || 2598

Hen snorted from her own cot. “Trust me, guys. This isn’t the kind of measuring contest you want to play with Buck because you will lose.”

But, comparing scars and exchanging crazy stories when meeting other people in your profession was basically a rite of passage so of course they didn’t take her warning seriously. It became a challenge instead and Eddie settled in for the show.

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no morning fears, no mountains to climb by iphigenias // @oatflatwhite Oneshot || Teen || 3692

“You’re invited,” Buck read aloud, raising his eyebrows meaningfully. “Together with their families, Jason and Amelia invite you to join them in the celebration of their marriage.” He says the word like that: italicised. Teasing and persistent. Eddie swallows his eggs. “Who’re Jason and Amelia?”

*

Eddie's invited to the wedding of an old army buddy in Texas.

Problem is, they all think he's straight.

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No thing definеs a man like love that makes him soft by justhockey // @everything-i-am Oneshot || Not Rated || 4028

“I don’t think you need a dad, that’s not how families work, right? Like, they all look different,” Chris says. “But it’s okay if you want one. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“What’s it like, having two?” Denny asks, and Buck has to cover his mouth so he doesn’t give himself away.

Christopher’s laugh is loud, and sweet, and tugs on Buck’s heartstrings in the same way that it always has done. He doesn’t even hesitate to say, “It’s fun. I love them.”

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plot twist (and turns) by autumnchills Oneshot || Teen || 4090

“I- I remember putting burgers in the truck. I took some off of Chimney so he could help Eddie finish assessing a patient. That’s the last thing.”

“Okay,” Bobby says, then hesitates before adding, “What happened is that someone stole the truck while you were in there.”

Buck’s head snaps up, and he tries to peer around the edge of the seat and console to get a better look at the guy. This was definitely not the turn he saw his evening taking, all jinxes considered.

aka What if Buck was in the truck when Brian stole it in 4x06?

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seeing you with him just don't feel right (you're giving me a heart attack) by bellabrady Oneshot || Not Rated || 1932

“Holy shit,” Chimney says, grabbing Hen’s arm like he needs to make sure she’s getting this. “So you guys killed our captain?”

“No!” Eddie and Buck say simultaneously.

“We were just…we…,” Buck tries before looking at Eddie for help. Eddie opens his mouth to explain that no, they did not kill their captain but—

“Okay, well, I guess we…,” he says with a grimace. “I guess we kind of killed our captain.”

“Eddie!” Buck snaps.

“What?” Eddie snaps back, throwing his hands up in frustration. “I mean, I don’t think the guy would’ve had a heart attack today if it wasn’t for us.” — Or: Buck and Eddie accidentally give their homophobic captain a heart attack.

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she’ll never get to eat you like your heart's a pomegranate by @colonoscopys Oneshot || General || 10217

Chris smiles at him, soft and steady. There’s a loud clang of the metal door behind both of them, a high pitched AHHHHH noise, and-

Eddie knows – he understands – that he doesn’t look like his kid. Chris has a lot of different features, and more often than not when they go out people expect Buck to be his father. Eddie has the brown hair and the brown eyes, and Chris is all sunshine features and bright blue skies.

But the grins they give each other when they realize who has entered the room – they’re identical.

- or, Five Times Buck was the Weird Parent, and One Time Eddie was

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where there's smoke, there's fire by wakeupnew Oneshot || Teen || 24027

Buck loves Christopher. Buck clearly loves both of them. He and Eddie haven't said it to each other yet, but it's in every gesture, every word. Every package of dinosaur nuggets Buck keeps in his refrigerator. Every time he sends a text because he saw a video of dogs looking ashamed after destroying stuff and he knows Eddie will think it's funny. The care he takes when he carries Chris to bed. How he looks at Eddie when he thinks Eddie's asleep.

It turns out that being in a secret relationship with your best friend in an active fire department is kind of a life-altering situation, once it's suddenly not a secret anymore.

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Whiplash by soft_satan Oneshot || General || 6001

She parked near him and got out, avoiding the puddle as she approached him. Hands on her hips, she shook her head in pity. “What on earth happened to you?”

He looked up at her with a pained smile, his shoulders instantly sagging with relief at the sight of her. “I got carjacked.” ... Thanks to a lack of communication, a horrific accident leads the team to fear the worst.

————————————————————————

whatever you lack, i make up (we make a really good team) by wafflesofdoom // @capseycartwright Oneshot || General || 10034

it was eddie, who found out about the bet.

that had been the 118's first mistake.

or, the one where buck and eddie find out about the 118's bet on their relationship and set out for some well deserved revenge - with athena's help, of course. and a seven-phase revenge plan.

————————————————————————

with every heartbeat i have left by iriswests // @fcntasmas Oneshot || Teen || 8040

Buck and Eddie were expecting to have a little girl.

When their baby girl is born a baby boy, instead, Buck is suddenly confronted with everything he’s been ignoring since he learned about Daniel every time he looks at his son. -- or; buck and eddie have a baby boy, and buck spirals a little bit

————————————————————————

[oneforthemunny]

Could we possibly get a spanking blurb I don’t care which Eddie I just need him to beat my ass😩

sure why not lol. for freaky friday. this was longer than i meant it to be lol.

thinking of going with the classic, dom!eddie. smut ahead. minors dni.

"Grab some plates." You nod towards the cabinet, steam lifting from the pot of pasta boiling on the stove beneath you.

"Plates?" Eddie hummed, tone lilting in a playful way, hand sliding over your hip when he passed you. "Plates for mac and cheese?"

"Yes," You huffed, fighting back an eye roll. You knew he was watching you, itching for you to slip, give him a reason to punish you.

You were so close to winning. Tomorrow, you'd wake up victorious in your little bet with Eddie. A silly bet that started playful until both your competitive natures turned it to something more.

"You couldn't act right if your life depended on it." Eddie scoffed, rolling his eyes at you. "I think it would actually kill you to be sweet for a few days. Not be bratty for once in your life. No way you could do it."

"Please," You huffed back. "I could do it, but you piss me off. Get me to that point."

"That right?" Eddie hummed, tongue rolling down his cheek.

"You know it is." You lifted your brows. "You can't help it. You love it too much. Just push me to my limit where I snap."

"Care to make a little wager?" Eddie's eyes dazzled, bright with excitement that left your tummy flipping. "Four days. I won't provoke you, you don't brat to me. You make it the full four days, you win. If you don't, I win."

"What do I win?" You chirped smugly. "Because I will win."

Eddie bit back a grin. It was going to be too easy. You couldn't help it. "Loser has to do whatever the winner says for a whole day." Eddie shrugged.

"Anything?" You lifted a brow.

"Anything." Eddie nodded.

"Non-sexual too?" Your eyes narrowed towards him.

"Sure. Why not." Eddie shrugged casually, sticking out a ringed hand towards you. "We have a deal?" Your hand in his, the two of you shook on it. A done deal.

Eddie expected you to break by day two. He knew you'd be on your A-Game for the first day, wearing thin on the second. Eddie's eyes would widen with excitement every time your breath would hitch, a snarky comment threatening to roll right off the tip of your tongue, only for a sweet remark to come out instead.

Now, as day four was drawing closer to the end, Eddie had accepted you as the winner. Not that he minded. This was the one bet he could lose and still end feeling like a winner.

"Could just eat it out of the pot." Eddie shrugged, swiping the two plates down from the top shelf. "Less dishes to wash."

"No." You tried to keep your tone light through gritted teeth.

"Just sayin'," Eddie shrugged, pulling the colander out from under the sink, placing it in the sink for you. "I used to do it all the time. We can get two spoons, share it." He grinned at you.

"You don't wanna share a pot with me, hm? Just like we do with popcorn at the movies, but better because it's mac and cheese, and-"

"-That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard." You huffed, throwing your hands up. "That's so messy and disgusting, and you'll end up hogging the whole thing just like you do with the popcorn. We can eat it off plates like normal people do."

The kitchen fell silent, the hiss of the vent the only sound filling the space between you. Your chest settled, days of building agitation replaced with sudden dread. Eddie's eyes wide, gawking at you in disbelief, slowly spreading into a smile.

"You-" Eddie pointed at you. "Holy shit, you lost." He barked out a laugh.

"I did not." You hissed. "You-You pushed me to it!"

"Nuh-uh, don't even try that with me, baby." Eddie shook his head. "You and I both know I was not trying then. That was all you."

Your shoulders slumped in defeat, lip jutting in a furious pout. He was right, and you knew it. You hated it, but you knew it. Eddie had won.

"Fine," You huffed, flicking the stove eye off, moving the pan to the other eye to cool. "You win. Guess we'll be eating out of the pan tonight then?" Your lips curled in a bitter snarl.

Eddie fought back a smirk, lips pressing together smugly. "No, wanna save it for tomorrow. Really get a whole day out of it." He hummed, pulling the drawer above the sink open.

You rolled your eyes, grabbing the pot holder, wrapping it around the hot metal handle to strain the noodles. "Just leave that there." Eddie nodded towards you. "Don't want it to get cold."

"What?" Your brows pinched together in a furrow.

"My victory day doesn't start until tomorrow, but," Eddie pulled the wooden spoon out of the drawer, satisfied with how your eyes widened, your face falling at the sight. "Gotta fix that attitude real quick."

"Eddie," You whined, squirming under his darkened glare.

"Don't even try it, sweetheart." Eddie shook his head at you, taking in a step to close in the space. "You know better than that."

Your cheeks blistered with embarrassed heat, sulking towards the kitchen table, bending over the wood. You pressed your thighs together, a desperate attempt to dull the throbbing between your legs that only intensified as Eddie got closer.

His hand shoving down your little cotton shorts onto the floor, anchoring his free palm onto your spine, before the first hit fell. Your lungs squeezed out a startled gasp of a breath, raising on your toes at the impact. It burned, settled into an achy sting that had you whimpering- still you had to swallow the moan that threatened to follow, lifting your hips back into place, eager for another.

Eddie didn't remark, though he didn't miss the tiny whine that feel from your lips. Instead, he let the spoon rain down in sharp, quick successions all over your cheeks. A steady rhythm of wood snapping against your skin, the table creaking with every squirm.

You knew you'd welt, have round shaped marks that you'd frown at in the mirror tomorrow, running your hand over them and try to ignore the throbbing that'd begin all over again.

For now, Eddie's hands sunk into your hips, a hard hold on them as he used you, rocked your body back and forth, up and down his length. Drilling you over the table, hip bones snapping into the hot skin of your ass as you clawed into the wood of the table.

[crackedhrglass]

i got this ask on my strawpage and was gonna type it up in my notes app and post it to twitter, but i really couldn't figure out a way to say it concisely, so i'm answering it here bc it's prob gonna be long lol.

do i think stancest is actually canon? simply put, no. despite how often i'm like "STANCEST IS CANON!!" i truly don't think that AH and the writers intended stan & ford's relationship to be seen through an incestuous lens.

their relationship is def the heart of the show, second only to dipper & mabel's own bond. they are the center of each other's worlds, their story & character arcs revolve almost entirely around each other, and their happy ending is literally the two of them sailing off into the sunset to spend "the rest of their days" together (ford says this almost word-for-word in journal 3).

but i still don't think all of that was meant to be taken romantically.

in my opinion, where things start to get a little weird is, surprisingly enough, ford's relationship with bill.

the rest is under a cut bc HOLY SHIT this got longer than i expected.

there's no denying that bill was written to deliberately parallel stan in a number of ways, from his mannerisms, to his conman status, to the fact that he calls ford the same name stan did when they were kids.

he's written in a very intentional way that makes him serve as both stan's parallel and his foil, especially in their respective relationships to ford (bill feeds into ford's ego and encourages him to aspire for greatness alone, stan has always been a direct obstacle & challenge to ford's ego, accidentally ruining his chances at WCT & encouraging him to live out their childhood dream together; bill valued infinite power over his own family and destroyed his dimension as a result, stan valued his family over everything, and saved ford and his dimension as a result).

normally, this wouldn't be that big of a deal to a stancest shipper like myself. but as the book of bill & the accompanying website all but confirmed in big, flashing neon lights, ford & bill have a romantic history and are exes.

having the two people closest to ford be compared to one another is one thing. having ford be drawn to bill because of how similar he is to the brother he secretly misses is one thing.

having ford be romantically involved with said character is what makes me raise an eyebrow lol.

again, do i think ford is literally a brocon who's got repressed sexual/romantic feelings for stan?

no.

i do, however, think he has unresolved Brother Issues that led him to subconsciously find comfort in a romantic partner that reminded him of stan (right down to bill calling him stan's nickname for him) in much the same way a person with "daddy issues" may seek out affection & intimacy from someone who reminds them of their father (or is just "fatherly" in general).

that much, i believe, was actually intentional. it's just too blatant to not be lol. it'd be a completely different story if either

bill & stan were nothing alike (untrue) or

ford & bill's relationship was strictly platonic and didn't have any romantic implications (also untrue)

i've said this before, but this isn't just a case of "oh, ford fell in love with someone who just coincidentally reminds him of his brother." bill's use of the nickname "sixer" during their first encounter was a deliberate attempt at appealing to a part of ford that was repressed, vulnerable, and aching, in order to get ford's guard down and make it easier for ford to trust him, and it worked.

billford is a ship that, to put it bluntly, would not exist without ford's buried feelings for stan, even disregarding shipping/incest/etc. ford's desire to be close to stan even platonically is what allowed bill to needle his way into ford's heart in the first place.

and all of this wouldn't be that weird if, again, bill hadn't continued to feed into ford's longing for stan even after they'd established a romantic relationship, by still calling him "sixer" and trying to permanently sever the relationship he had with stan specifically, once he and ford broke up (the phone call he tried to make while in ford's body that was described in tbob).

to put it another way, imagine if wendy was basically an older, taller mabel, or if any of mabel's crushes were eerily similar to dipper. people in the fandom would def take notice and view it as a little strange. so i don't get how people can look at ford dating someone so blatantly and intentionally similar to stan and think to themselves "ah yes, this is normal. ford is completely Normal and definitely doesn't have any underlying issues whatsoever" lmao

to conclude: no, i don't think ford & stan's relationship is actually canonically romantic, nor do i think ford falling in love with bill was incestuous, necessarily.

but i do think that he had a desperate longing to reconcile with stan buried DEEEEEEP down, and it manifested itself in the form of being attracted to bill, which is probably why he never bothered correcting bill's use of the nickname "sixer" since their very first meeting, or ever expressed that it made him uncomfortable.

[emotionoitme]

safe in your skin

part two of about a girl

carmy berzatto x reader (no use of y/n)

warnings: friends with benefits, bdsm dom/sub undertones, age gap, alcohol & tobacco use, lots of dirty talk, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), unprotected vaginal sex (use condoms!!), choking, mutual pining

wc: 7.5k

a/n: thank you so much for the support on the last chapter! i was literally kicking my legs twirling my hair reading through the replies. please enjoy some more nastiness!! and lots of yearning ofc <3

title fight - safe in your skin

job hunting was a grueling task, no matter how lucky you get— the girl could feel this physically, shoulders slumped and feet aching. she had dropped off applications at 4 different places that day, eager to start a new job as soon as possible. what she didn’t expect was places seemingly desperate for help saying they’d up to a week to get back to her. she dejectedly checked the time on her phone, strolling down the relatively empty sidewalk. it was a little after 3, meaning she’d have time to check out a few more options before heading home. she wasn’t necessarily enthusiastic about the task, either, searching up bars in her vicinity to take an application to. she finds a smaller looking club on google maps 2 miles away and pulls up walking directions. she was looking for a change of pace, but a club was familiar and she catches a second wind as her steps slow in pace, smelling a delicious aroma heavy in the sunny afternoon air. she raises her head from the phone, looking around to locate the source of the smell. she continues forward, looking in the window of a small business. a makeshift sign taped on the glass reads, “the bear”, name underlined, and “help wanted”. she puts her phone back into her pocket, no longer curious about the club she had found. she opens the front door, entering the small establishment and letting her senses be overtaken by the mouth watering scent emanating from the kitchen. the push of the door rings a small bell, and after being inside alone for a few moments, a tall man comes from the kitchen to stand behind the counter. 

“hey, sweetheart, we’re closed for dinner prep. you can come back in an hour.” he tells her, voice booming. she offers him a smile, approaching the counter. 

“i’m actually here for the help wanted sign. are you guys taking applications?” she asks, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear. 

the man lets out a hardy laugh, “you wanna work here? what, victoria’s secret isn’t hiring?” he asks her, scanning her up and down. her small smile drops, rolling her eyes. 

“never mind,” she goes to turn, leave, and take her chances with the club nearby. 

“ah, hey, hey, hey, wait,” he calls after her, “i’m sorry, i’m being an asshole.”

 she shrugs, not entirely disagreeing. he puts a hand out, gesturing to stay, “wait right here and i’ll get carmy.” the tall man disappears behind the kitchen doors, and she takes a quick opportunity to look around, noting the old fashioned decor, a few parts of the restaurant seemingly in renovation. it was noticeably smaller than her old workplace, but harbored a cozy feel, the bustle of the kitchen softly filtering throughout the lobby. she took a copy of her resume out of the small tote bag she was carrying, setting it on the island in front of her. she hears motion, the kitchen doors swinging open and a man clad in a white shirt and blue apron emerges. he approaches her, separated by the counter.

“hey,” he calls, taking her in, slightly, “you, uh, here to apply?”

holy shit, she feels her throat tighten up, studying his face, strong stature, golden brown curls, “hi, yes i am! my name is -,” she introduces, sticking a hand out.

he takes it, momentarily noticing how cold her hands are. 

“carmy,” he returns, “it’s nice to meet you. you, uh, got a resume?” and lets go of her hand. 

she hands it to him, “here,” feeling slightly self conscious as he glances over it, thinking, is this supposed to be my boss? 

“you have a lot of service experience,” he notes, glancing up at her. 

“yeah,” she hesitates, “i’m not sure if that’s what you’re looking for, but i’m a fast learner.”

“no, no, that’s actually what we would need, another front of house,” he responds, “we only have richie right now.”

she feels a light flutter of hope in her chest, encouraged by the reassurance of their lack of competence in the front. 

“are you working now? this last job dates back six months,” he asks, eyes double checking the paper. there was the dreaded question. she was hoping he wouldn’t notice, heat growing in her cheeks a bit. 

“um, yeah…i actually work over at ricky’s,” she admits, hesitantly. his eyes widen a bit, eyebrows raising. 

“i don’t dance, though,” she rushedly clarifies, “i bartend.” 

his eyebrows relax, and a smile creeps at his mouth in realization.

 “yeah, uh, that’s why i didn’t put it on there,” she says, gesturing to the resume he held, “everyone always thinks i’m a dancer.” 

he clears his throat, busying himself with the piece of paper in front of him for a moment before speaking. 

“you a student?” he asks, glancing up to see her nod, bright smile adorning her face. 

“i’m only taking what i can afford right now, which is like two classes, but yeah,” she explains. he doesn’t have reason for why his tongue feels tied, and the back of his neck hot. he shoves it away. 

“well, um, i probably can’t give you more than about 30 hours a week, at least to start. tips are yours to take home but they, uh, probably won’t compare to the tips at ricky’s,” he brings a finger up to his nose, scratching a phantom itch. the girl tilts her head a bit, smiling, “i’ll take that as a challenge,” she quips. a grin breaks his face, not doubting the personable girl. 

“so, uh, when can you start?” he asks. 

“as soon as possible,” she answers, increasingly eager to quit her bartending job. he looks to the side and behind him, towards the kitchen. 

“if you want, i can get you set up today,” he turns back to her, “i think we have some extra aprons in the back.” 

“wait, really?” she reassures, him nodding in response. she lets out a small squeak, clapping her hands, big smile on her face. 

she’s cute, he thinks to himself, watching her enthusiasm, very quickly trying to shake the thought away. don’t be weird, she’s working for you now. off limits. not to mention he knew he wasn’t exactly boyfriend material, emotionally speaking. 

“is this okay to wear?” she asks, gesturing to her outfit and effectively breaking him out of his thoughts. he rakes his eyes downwards over her form, shamefully grateful for the opportunity. hugged by a tight white shirt and baggy jeans that hung to expose a long strip of her lower hips, connecting at her front and lower back. he tears his eyes back up to meet hers. 

“yeah, should be fine,” he says, trying to be as nonchalant as possible, “you won’t be working in the kitchen too much at first, so you don’t have to wear a uniform,” he tells her, putting his hands onto the counter, leaning into them slightly. 

“and just regular work clothes for my next shift?” she asks, finding herself also leaning forward to press her weight against the edge of the counter. he nods, “yeah,” a smirk creeps at the edges of his lips, “just uh, maybe not ricky’s attire,” glancing at the girl. she giggles. he thinks it sounds like bells chiming. 

“what?” she tries to sound surprised, “how am i supposed to make the same tips then?” a smile plays on her lips, meeting his eyes. he lets out a laugh, studying her face. 

“i think you’ll find a way,” he responds. the counter space between the two seemed much smaller than earlier, as now he could see her face in much finer detail. he studies it, briefly, then tears his eyes away, forcing himself to step back. he clears his throat,

“follow me,” and begins walking towards the kitchen, “we’ll try and find you an apron. and introduce you to everyone.” 

a slight feeling of nervousness as she trails behind, unsure what “everyone” will entail.

“okay,” she replies, and steps behind the counter. 

—

 he finds himself in his apartment that night, halfheartedly watching a rerun of an old sitcom on his small tv, his mind wandering back to her time again. he was oddly intrigued by her, wanting to get to know her better. it wasn’t just a physical thing—although she was easy on the eyes— it was her demeanor, sweet and gentle, that somehow immediately smoothed his edges. the staff all took an instant liking to her, welcoming her into the kitchen enthusiastically. sydney seemed happy to have another young woman in the restaurant, tina asking her about her university, richie making the occasional snide comment, but undeniably taking a liking to the new colleague. she made her way around the register system surprisingly fast without training, seamlessly taking orders with the exception of a few brief pauses. carmy kept an eye on the girl throughout the rest of the evening in case she needed him, watching her quickly adapt to the shift of environment. the dinner rush moved shockingly smooth, the large tip jar, empty while richie was manning the front, was halfway full at closing time. he was admittedly impressed with the young woman, trying hard to mentally discern between admiring and enamoring. it was almost as if a bright light had graced the restaurant that evening, leaving carmen with a lingering warm tingle throughout his body. 

he looks around his dark apartment, messy and congested, cigarettes overflowing the ashtray, dishes piling the sink. letting out a deep sigh and running his hand through his curls, he stands, shutting off the tv and making his way to the bedroom. he could clean everything up tomorrow, not that it would make much of a difference, he thinks. although the booming launch of the bear was incredibly uplifting to the chef, reassuring him of the sacrifices he made to keep mikey’s restaurant running, there was still a void carmen felt deep in his heart, growing increasingly apparent in his solitude. he often felt trapped inside of himself, wondering if this was just something he would have to learn to deal with, destined to be defined by his profession, wishing there there was a way he could give into his personal desires while maintaining his professional growth. he crawls into bed and shuts off his lamp light. 

you can’t have your cake and eat it too, a saying he heard from his mom as a kid. he shuts his eyes. 

—                        

fuck. she takes an uneasy breath, staring at herself in the bathroom mirror. turning on the faucet, wetting her palms in cold water and bringing the shaky hands to both sides of her face. 

why am i so nervous? 

she wondered if everyone felt this way before a hookup, focusing on deep breaths to calm her nerves. she wasn’t used to this. she had only ever been intimate within relationships, not having experience with casual encounters, nevertheless ones involving her boss. she knew it was a risky pursuit, especially for being a girl with an easily breakable heart, having shed many tears over lovers prior. nevertheless, something about the pull she felt to carmen was magnetic. he was strong, dominant, confident in his work, yet deeply complicated, a dull sadness within his striking eyes. he seemed the type of person to consistently be bearing the heaviest load on his back, and she had an inexplicable urge to relieve him of this, even if only for a moment. she wanted to watch him in bliss at her own control. just have to make sure it doesn’t go too far, she consistently reminds herself. she studies herself in the mirror, skinny straps of a short white sundress peak out from underneath her hair. a dress she specifically chose for him, adorning her exposed chest with a simple gold necklace. she ultimately was aiming to be comfortable for the night, yet each item was intentionally selected with a certain set of eyes in mind. 

i can do it. i’m going to have fun tonight, she tells herself, and potentially fuck my incredibly hot boss, warming at the thought, then i’m never ever gonna think about him again, she internalizes, having had enough with wasted energy on dead end flings. 

she smoothes out the white dress, satisfied with how it hugs her figure, then exits the small bathroom, making her way into her living room. the clock in the adjacent kitchen reads 11:13, and she makes her way to the large window to watch for carmy’s car. she felt erratic, heart palpitating in her chest at each set of headlights that drove by. she opens the window a few inches, breathing in the warm summer night to try and calm her increasing nervousness. it does work, a bit, and she’s able to even out her breathing before leaving. after a moment, a car slowly drives up to the pavement in front of her apartment and stops, engine idling. her phone vibrates on the counter, and she picks it up. 

carmy: i’m here. 

her heart does a leap in her chest, grabbing her keys and turning off the light before opening her front door and walking outside, locking it behind her. she feels slightly self conscious in the headlights while approaching his car, hearing the click of the passenger’s door being pushed open for her. she grabs the door, pulling it all the way open. 

“hi,” she greets, a bit shy. 

“hey,” he replies warmly, silently taking her image in. she climbs into the car and shuts the door behind her, noticing the clean car’s lack of trash and empty ashtray, differing from the previous night. she meets his eyes, a fluttering in her chest. he looks tired, lids low and white shirt wrinkled, but still has a spark in his eyes, clearly admiring the girl’s presentation. he turns his head back in front of him, breaking the eye contact and putting the car into drive. 

“how was close?” she breaks the silence with, noticing the way his eyes flicker back over to her.  

“long,” he admits, “harder without you there.” 

her heart jumps against her ribs, face growing warm at the slight praise. 

“what? you mean richie isn’t the best front of house closer ever?” she feigns surprise, smiling at the thought.

he lets out a scoff, shaking his head, and she softly giggles at this. the lull of the tires against the road fills her ears, noting the limited cars out at this time. her nerves have significantly calmed from before, but she still feels a knot in her stomach, amplified by the light smell of his cologne within the confined space. 

“are you, uh… are you hungry?” he asks her, eyes trained front. she pauses a moment, debating whether she is hungry or the gnawing feeling in her stomach is from nerves alone. 

“yeah,” she replies, “i am.” she wasn’t going to turn down a personal meal from a world class chef, and the thought of him cooking for her before anything else spreads a warmth throughout her chest. 

“good,” a small smile on his face, “i’ll make us somethin’.”

carmen couldn’t help but feel excitement bloom in his chest at the prospect of spending time alone with the young woman, having spent the day at the restaurant mentally preparing for the night. he had been chopping onions before the dinner rush when she closely brushed behind him in the confined space. he was able to smell her sweet perfume, triggering an image of her to flash across his mind— kneeled, lips parted, face flushed, chest bare, leaning into his hands— the knife slipped and he sliced the side of his finger, cursing an obscenity as soon as it happened. he dropped the knife on the cutting board, walking over to the sink, mentally cursing himself for allowing the to perverse thoughts to bleed over into his work, as he promised himself many times they wouldn’t. the bleeding of his finger had stopped quickly under the cool stream of water to reveal a small nick. he was able to put a bandaid on it and get directly back to work, but it plagued him a bit. he wondered if would he be able to maintain the professional kitchen environment in the long run, once the two were satisfied with the fun they’d had. it had proved difficult so far, thoughts of her swarming his head uncontrollably since she had stepped foot into his restaurant. 

the car slows, pulling up to the curb outside carmen’s apartment complex. he pushes the gear shift into park, turning off the engine. 

“this is you?” she asks, to which he nods. “you live closer than i thought you did,” she chimes, opening the door to step out of the car. she smooths the white dress, glancing around the complex. he comes up behind the girl, pressing a hand to the small of her back. 

“this way,” he says, ushering her forward. she can’t help but focus on the warmth of his hand, large and encompassing against her thinly clothed skin. they enter the building, taking the long flight of stairs up to his home, carmy desperately trying to look anywhere else besides the length of her legs leading up to the soft skin of her ass, fully visible as she climbs in front of him. they speedily make it to the top, carmen rustling in his front pocket for the keys. he swings the door open to a dark room, stepping in and flicking on a lamp switch. she follows him in, eyes scanning her surroundings. it was clean and tidy, with piles of various cook books stacked on side tables and a knitted green blanket draped over the old couch. the place smelled like him, and she feels her muscles relax. 

“i know it’s not much, but uh,” he shuts the door, “make yourself at home, please.”

she gives him a big smile, “it’s cute. just what i imagined,” and puts her belongings on a side table, walking around to examine the space. he feels the edges of his lips twitch at her response, watching her look at the scarcity of the place. she spins around, facing him, “you’re really clean, too.” she sounds impressed. 

he smiles at this, appreciating the assumption. 

“it’s not always like this,” he responds truthfully. she lets out a soft laugh and saunters over towards the kitchen island, pushing herself up to sit on the stool he had. he walks to the opposite side of the counter, opening the fridge to gather various ingredients for their dinner. 

“what are you gonna make?” she curiously asks. 

“just uh,” he pauses, looking for an item, “something quick.” he straightens, carrying the ingredients to the counter. he meets her eyes, the two separated by a few feet of laminate, and he feels his chest constrict under her gaze. “some roasted chicken and veggies, with a garlic herb butter,” he turns back to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of unopened wine, beginning to look for a corkscrew. 

“fuck,” she breathes out, “that sounds so good.” 

carmy tenses, stilling for a moment. he loved the way her voice sounded, wanted to hear more. it was apparent he was tightly strung from the grueling week, feeling reactive to everything she said. he pulls the corkscrew out from a drawer, opening the fresh bottle and grabbing two glasses. 

“you want some?” he asks her, holding it up. 

she nods, “yes, please,” eager for a bit of liquid encouragement. he fills the two glasses halfway, handing her one and bringing the side of his glass to clink against hers.

“cheers for making it through the week,” he toasts, earning a giggle from her. 

“cheers! and,” she continues, tilting her head, “cheers for richie not seeing my tits when i was in your office,” she grins and takes a slow sip of the wine, maintaining their eye contact. he lets out a breathy laugh, raising his wine glass to his lips, “yeah, i’ll cheers to that,” and drinks, the red wine dry on his lips. 

with both of their plates empty and the girl’s warm praise still lingering in the room, carmen drinks the remaining wine from his third glass, feeling calm and airy. the apartment is hot and fragrant from the cooking, and the young man notices a pinch of want in the back of his mind, wondering where he had put his cigarettes. 

“do you mind if i go smoke?” he asks her, wine weighing on his tongue. she smiles a bit, shaking her head.

“i’ll go with you,” her voice a bit lower and more drawn out than he would regularly hear it. he nods, standing and walking towards the bedroom to look for a pack of cigarettes. 

“i don’t have a balcony,” he calls from his room, opening his nightstand drawer, “but we can step out onto the fire escape for a bit,” he grabs his carton out of the dresser. carmy walks back into the room to find the girl standing, peering out his window at the black grated fire escape structure. he leans beside her to unlock the window, pushing it open. he puts one leg through, ducks, then steps out, offering a hand for the girl. she takes it, hand small in his, and repeats his actions, noticing a definitive impairment as she joins him outside. 

the night was warm and humid, chicago air damp with the summer monsoon. it smelled good outside, though, air fresh with recent rain, a mellow hum of cicada sounding throughout the trees. carmy flips the carton open, placing a filter between his lips and illuminating his face with the orange of the lighter’s flame. she runs her eyes over his features while they’re briefly lit up, finding herself in a close proximity to him, the two leaning up against the iron railing. she brushes her hair back behind her shoulders, watching the man smoke. the few glasses of wine she had clouded her previous anxieties. she genuinely couldn’t remember what she was worried about now, thoroughly enjoying the sight of the man in front of her. she leans into him, pressing the side of her hip into his thigh, arm flush against his. 

“can i have some?” she asks, staring up at him, glancing down at the cigarette. she didn’t know exactly what it was, the alcohol or him looking so attractive with a cancer stick in his mouth, but she felt compelled to give it another try, having a distaste from previous experience. he turns to face her, gazes locking, a glint of surprise behind his eyes. 

“sure,” he answers, remaining still, pointer and middle finger loosely grasping the cigarette. he glances at her expectantly and she leans over, bringing her mouth to the filter, lips brushing the tips of his fingers. she sucks, carmen watching, completely entranced, then stands upright again, exhaling the smoke with a slight furrow in her brow. the man lets a slight smirk break his face, bringing the cigarette back up to his mouth and inhaling. he studies the dark street behind his building, sporadically illuminated by the soft glow of a street lamp, tiredness catching up with him. she keeps her eyes trained on the man, trailing from his face down his body. she stops at his arms, admiring the sheer strength of them, tracing her sights over his various tattoos. she almost felt overtaken by want in that moment, darting her eyes back up to his lips wrapped around the cigarette. the young woman leans into him further, more of her body touching his and now facing him directly, tipsiness slightly clouding her rationality. 

“carm,” she breathes out, immediately catching his attention. he gazes down at her, cognisant of her breasts pushed against his side, studying her face to find desire written across her features. she brings a hand to his chest, leaning up and gently kissing his neck. she feels his sharp intake of breath under her body, and she smirks at this, placing a few more gentle kisses around the side of his neck. the two had a strict rule about kissing on the lips, but never made the clear distinction to forbid all types of kissing, carmy not daring to protest. his eyes fall closed, focused on the heat of her lips against his neck, the weight of her body on his. he throws the cigarette to the ground, wrapping an arm around her, sliding his fingers up her back and to the base of her skull, carding his fingers through her hair. she nips his neck suddenly, causing him to instinctively tighten his grip, pulling the hair, emanating a breathy moan from the girl. his mouth falls open, a smirk playing on the edges of his lips. wrapping his other arm around her back, hand grabbing her hip, he pulls their bodies closer together. carmen’s tight grip doesn’t falter, pulling her head back to see her face, her eyes trailing upwards to meet his. she studies his blown pupils, him drinking her in as if she were a desert oasis. her face is flushed, lids heavy, eyes locked onto his. he leans in and pulls her simultaneously, lightly putting his forehead against hers, noses touching, lips twitching. she can smell the smoke on his breath combined with his fresh deodorant. she finds herself completely intoxicated by this, tightly shutting her eyes, unsure of what she’ll do if she continues to stare. she feels his breath, warm on her lips, so desperate for contact. 

“you like this, don’t you?” he asks, voice a low rumble. 

she gently nods, nose brushing against his, not trusting her voice. a slight tug makes her softly gasp, eyes snapping open. he pulls away, but only slightly. “answer me,” the sound of his voice weakening her knees. he scans his eyes over her face.

“yes,” she breathes out, sounding far more sultry than she intended, “i really like it, carm,” she admits, tone needy. he pulls away from her completely, the girl missing the warmth from his face almost instantly. 

“get inside,” he growls, releasing her hair and removing his arm, leaning over and shoving the window open. 

she takes a second to collect herself, almost dizzy from the eye contact and the growing heat under her dress. she puts her hand on the window ledge, climbing back into the apartment as quickly as she could. carmy follows behind, shutting the window halfway. he eyes the girl, standing by the edge of the counter, then walks past her to the couch, sitting in the middle, leaning back. she shifts, unsure of what to do, her hazed courage of earlier fading. 

“c’mere,” he gestures her over. 

she slowly walks towards him, coming to stand in front of him in between his seated legs, front of her shins bumping into the sofa. he leans forward, bringing his strong hands to caress the back of her thighs, admiring the silkiness of her skin, trailing his palms up and towards the curve of her ass, softly kneading the skin, then stopping. 

“take this off,” he commands, squeezing. her face reddens, inching her hands down to the hem of her dress, slowly pulling it up her thighs. she pauses, before flipping the edge up over her head, taking the dress off completely. he softly groans at the sight, fabric removed to reveal her bare body, clothed only by a pair of skinny black panties. she drops it on the floor, shyly bringing her arms up to cover her breasts. he leans closer to her, pressing a kiss to her navel, bringing his hands up to grab her hips. he marvels at her exposed skin, feeling close to primal with desire, tempted to pull her onto his lap and shove the panties to the side. 

should i?

he glances upwards at her, a smile creeping at the edges of his lips. he slides his left hand down to her the back of her lower thigh, then quickly pulls her body towards him, the girl letting out a sound of surprise, straddling his lap. he pushes her knees open more, hand trailing towards her inner thigh, stroking the soft skin, moving closer to kiss her neck. she lets out a quiet, “yes,” as she leans into the man’s touch, hoping for some release. his fingers brush against the fabric of her clothed mound, making her buck her hips forward a bit. 

“want me to touch you?” he asks her, voice low in tone. she quickly nods her head, biting down on her lip to prevent any escaping noise. he brings his pointer finger to her clothed slit, dragging it up and down over the sensitive area a few times, noticing the abundant slickness beneath the fabric. her eyes flutter closed, cherishing the delicate contact, craving far more. carmen watches her closely, pulling his hand away. her brow furrows, to which he smiles. bringing his left hand from her thigh, he grabs the black panties and pulls them to the side, exposing her glistening core. he groans at the sight, the girls face flushing, bringing his thumb to rest on her swollen clit, unmoving. she whimpers at the sensitivity, bucking her hips forward once more, to which he tightens his grip on her thigh in response. he starts rubbing small, torturous circles with his thumb, thoroughly enjoying the reaction of her body, heat eminating from between her legs, juices dripping down the insides of her thighs and down onto his pants. 

“you’re fuckin’ soaked,” he tells her, cock straining against his pants. she’s too embarrassed to respond, closing her eyes and throwing her arms over carmen’s shoulders, resting her face in the crevice of his neck as he continues his circles at a faster pace, dipping his middle finger down to rest against her opening. she kisses his neck, needy for more and tired of waiting, giving a thrust of her hips to sink herself onto his finger. she releases a drawn out moan, clenching around the soaked digit. 

“fuck,” he curses. 

a sharp smack lands on her thigh, the girl softly whimpering in response, coming back up to meet carmen’s eyes. he has a stern look on his face, a glint of enjoyment present.

“you want me inside of you that bad?” he questions, beginning a soft curling motion with his finger, loving the way she begins to fall apart. 

“yesss,” she pleads, breathing heavily, trying to get closer to him, her hand coming up to the base of his neck to anchor herself. he increases the pace, bringing his thumb back to circle the bundle of nerves. feeling her relax at the pleasure, he pushes a second finger into her, marveling at the hot constriction of her walls. his pulses become rhythmic, middle and ring finger fucking into her, a wet squelching sound beginning to fill the room. her panting moans uncontrollably increase in crescendo, quickly clamping her teeth down to bite her lip, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of watching her come undone. he studies her face, closely— eyes screwed shut and head thrown back, trying to seem less affected by his fingers than she obviously is. 

his eyes trail down to her bare chest, nipples perked. 

jesus christ

carmy slows the pace of his fingers, thrusting them deeper now. he shifts, bringing his lips to brush against her right breast, trailing upwards to her nipple, gently sucking the bud into his mouth. 

her teeth release from her lips, letting out a whimper from the pleasure. 

he smirks a little, motivated from the noise, taking his fingers almost completely out and easing them back in entirely. his thumb continues its feather like circles around her clit, carmy teasing a gentle bite to her nipple. obscene sounds plentifully spill from her mouth, leaning forward into him as he comes up from her breast. her eyes open and lock with his,

“oh my god, yes,” she cries, breath increasingly heavy, his slow fingers bringing her to the edge. a smile pulls at the corners of her mouth as he continues the same movements, watching her approach her climax, eyes shutting tightly, head leaning back. 

“please don’t stop,” her words come rushed, “i’m-“ 

he withdraws his fingers from inside of her, removing his hand from her warmth completely. she lifts her head immediately and looks to the man, confusion and frustration apparent on her face. he lets his smirk grow. 

“what?” he asks, watching her brows furrow further, “did you think i was gonna let you cum?” he asks as he grips her thighs. 

“you’re cruel,” she whines, head falling against his shoulder. 

“yeah?” the smirk on his face was prevalent in his tone. she shifts the placement of her head and comes to gently kiss the bottom of his neck, the hand resting on his chest slowly inching down his stomach and caressing the skin that meets the edge of his pants.

“yeah,” she responds. another kiss to his neck, this one higher up. she sits up slightly to move her hands lower, unbuttoning his pants and pulling the zipper down. she goes to greedily pull the waist band of his underwear, and he stops her, grabbing her wrist. 

“get down on your knees,” he commands, voice rough. she feels a surge of excitement run through her, easing herself to the ground between his legs, eager to inflict on him the pleasure she endured moments earlier, a dull ache residing in her core. she helps him pull his jeans down around his ankles, him kicking them off completely. she runs her hands over the tops of his strong thighs, then bringing her lips to trail kisses from his lower to upper thigh, teasing closer and closer to his clothed bulge, straining against the fabric. he sits up, slightly, pulling his shirt off over his head. she could swear her mouth watered at the sight, shamelessly gawking at his broad muscles completely exposed, along with tattoos she’s never had the pleasure of seeing. she rubs the palm of her hand over the solid bulge, inching towards the waistband of his briefs. in a fluid motion she quickly peels them towards her, carmy’s cock springing from the confinement and slapping against his stomach. she can’t help but let out a soft moan at the sight, bringing a hand up to grasp the base of his cock, thick and heavy in her hand. the young woman marvels, a bit. 

“it’s big,” she observes, glancing up at him, then back down. she slowly jerks her hand up and down a few times, nervously eyeing the length. she leans forward, placing a hand on his thigh, and licking a long stripe up the side of his cock, then softly kisses the tip, brushing the head against her plumped lips. she looks up at the man’s face, jaw clenched and eyes completely fixated on her. she flattens her tongue and licks the head of his penis, swirling it around the tip. when she locks eyes with him and grins at him, tongue on his cock, he nearly explodes, throwing his head back against the couch and groaning. she presses her bare breasts against his thighs, now engulfing his length in her mouth, slowly moving up and down, hand wrapping around to stroke what she can’t fit. he grunts, bringing his hand up to his mouth, biting his knuckles for composure. she falls into a pace, saliva coating his cock, dripping onto his stomach. she forces her mouth down deeper onto him, gagging, tears brimming her eyes. 

“fuck!” he exclaims, jolting forward. he grabs her hair, gathering it with his hands to keep it out of the way, using every ounce of resistance he has to keep from pushing her head down further onto him. she sinks her mouth lower, bobbing her head and quickening her pace. he tightens his grip on her hair and says her name. she looks up in inquiry, releasing him from her mouth with a wet pop. she continues to stroke his length, meeting his eyes. 

“stand up,” he tells the girl, her immediately complying and getting up, wiping the spit away from her mouth. he comes to lean forward, eye level with her stomach, hooking his fingers into the sides of her panties and removing them altogether. he looks up to her. 

“go get on the bed,” watching her quickly nod and turn towards his bedroom, standing and following the girl, both of them stark in their nudity. his eyes fall to her round ass, bringing a hand up to give it a small smack. she lets out a little yelp in surprise, turning over her shoulder to find a grin on his face. upon entering the dark room, carmy walks to the end of the bed, switching on a lamp on his dresser. the girl crawls onto the bed, flipping to lay on her back, resting her head on his pillow. she watches him from across the room, raising a knee to stack and bringing her hand up to her chest. she runs her thumb over her perked nipple, tracing her free hand down her navel to the crease of her thigh, staring at the man. he turns to her, raking his eyes over her laying form. her hand shifts lower, fingers brushing over her slickened clit, letting out a soft gasp. she arches her back slightly, rubbing small, soft circles over her sensitivity, locking eyes with the man. 

jesus fuck, he internalizes, praying to god this image would remain forever burned into his brain, cock twitching. 

there was something about the man that completely diminished her inhibitions, allowing her to fully submit to her desires and finding her brain instantly numb at his control. she tweaks her nipple, letting out a moan, face flushing, lips parting to speak. 

“come fuck me already, carmy,” she breathes out, movements faltering. he immediately reacts, getting onto the bed, hands hooking under her thighs and pulling her lower body flush to his, his cock laying over her pelvis.

“can’t wait anymore?” he asks lowly, fully knowing his own desire is immeasurable, desperate to be inside of her. 

“no,” she whines, bucking her hips and unintentionally spreading her slickness over the bottom of his length. he lets out a strained breath, running his thumb over her hipbones, grip tightening. he pulls back, then slowly thrusts forward to glide through her folds, feeling her grow increasingly wet. he moves back slightly, now gripping his cock and giving it a stroke, pressing it against her opening. he shifts his hips, slowly inserting the head. he looks to her, meeting her eyes. 

“this ok?” he asks, scanning her face, watching her nod enthusiastically. 

“put it in, please,” she pleads. 

he pushes his hips forward, sinking inside of her inch by inch. the two watch the sight, entranced, a harmonious moan ripping through the both of them. buried to the hilt, carmy pauses, coming forward to lean over her— resting his right forearm by her head, his left arm wrapping around her leg and hoisting it up over his lower back. she wraps her arms around the back of his neck, pulling him in further. his thrusts start slow and shallow, face buried in her neck, almost in disbelief of the pleasure, so much better than those dreams. he bottoms out, hearing her gasp. 

“you feel,” she breathes out, “so good,” her eyes screwing shut. he thrusts, again, slowly, moving his hand to grip her ass. 

“fuck, baby” he groans into her neck, hips working at a delicate pace. she clenches involuntarily at the name, eager for more, urging him closer with her leg. he recognizes the cue, bringing his leg in closer, pulling out almost completely then plunging back into her. she pants, bringing a shaky hand up to grab his sturdy bicep for stability, feeling his strong muscles ripple underneath her grip. he bites down on his bottom lip, face and chest flushed as he pulls his cock back out of her tightness, thoroughly enjoying the view. he snaps his hips forward, the girl crying out, squeezing his arm tightly. carmen settles into a heightened pace, the depth of his cock igniting a fire within the girl. she moves a hand down and circles her sensitive clit with two fingers, feeling her orgasm already rapidly building as he lifts her lower back slightly off the mattress, driving into her harder. breaths grow heavy, the room gets hotter, skin slaps against skin. he brings his hand up to the side of her face, coming to hover above her, locking eyes. her whole face is flush, baby hairs sticking up, a wild lust in her gaze. carmy snaps his hips harder. 

“you’re so fuckin’ pretty,” he tells her in pace with his thrusts, the girl letting out a moan in response, ripping her hand away from her clit as to not fall over the peak. everything is almost too much as the man relentlessly fucks her, savoring every sound, feeling, sight, not knowing if this would ever happen again. her climax approaches closer with each strong thrust of his hips, and she feels compelled to ask permission. 

“carmy,” she whimpers, “can i please cum?”

he groans, moving his hand to rest on her throat. 

“hold on baby, almost,” he grits through his clenched jaw, driving his cock deeply into her, slick juices spreading everywhere. she brings her hand to the back of his neck, grabbing his curly brown locks and tugging. he lets out a sharp breath at the action, hammering his hips against her, hoisting her leg a bit higher. his thrusts stutter, feeling himself grow impossibly closer to the edge. her moans become a chorus of “please, please, please,” desperate to cum around his cock. he grins slightly at her anticipation, lightly putting pressure against her throat. 

“you gonna cum for me?” he growls, feeling himself approaching his own orgasm. she nods, tears brimming her eyes, face contorted in pleasure. his simple words snap the final string holding her together, and she comes undone with a loud cry, digging her nails into his back. the pleasure feels white hot throughout her body, waves of euphoria overtaking her. her body shivers, the clenching of her heat around carmen is enough to push him over his edge as he lets out a strangled moan, hot cum shooting into her, cock pulsing against her walls. they both lay there still, riding out the aftershocks together, bodies flush. they both catch their breaths for a moment, basking in the warmth of each other. carmy pushes himself up onto his forearm, grabbing her face with a strong hand and planting a kiss on her cheek, then one on her forehead. she tries to ignore the butterflies that erupt inside of her. he reaches over to the nightstand, grabbing a few tissues, then slowly pulls out of her, his cum spilling down the curve of her ass. he gently cleans her up with the tissue, walking to the bathroom to throw them away once she’s dry. he returns to his room to see her sprawled onto her side, laying over his pillows. he joins in, laying next to her, scooting his strong arm under her head. she scoots closer to him, hand on his chest. he’s warm, smells good, feels safe, and she finds her eyes close for a moment. 

“i’ll leave in just a sec,” she tells him softly, “i’m just so comfy.”

he wraps his other arm around her, kissing her forehead once more. 

“stay the night,” he suggests, knowing it’s for a selfish reason, currently unable to fathom sleeping in a cold and empty bed without her presence. she happily hums in response, snuggling closer, already feeling herself drifting off. he closely watches the girl laying in his arms, eyes flickering over her face. he admires her features up close, examining what he’s usually too far away to see, running his eyes over a few faded freckles, the light peach fuzz on her cheek, the glimmer of a golden nose ring. he feels a twinge in his chest, resting his forehead against the sleeping girl’s, her deep breathing melodic to his tired ears. carmy knew deep down he wouldn’t be able to entertain this forever, opting to cherish the feeling of her against him while it lasts. he reaches to the foot of the bed, pulling a throw blanket up over the two of them, not bothering to shut off the lamp. he feels a sweet relief once he pulls her into him once more, nuzzling his nose into her hair. he shuts his eyes, the events from the day catching up to him. 

he finds the last thing he thinks about before drifting into sleep is her, sweet and airy, breathing in her scent closely. he hears a dreamlike giggle, reminiscent of bells chiming, and smiles softly. 

— 

i hope you enjoyed! writing for these two gives me the butterflies fr

chapter 3 hopefully in the works! <33 if you enjoy please let me know :)

part 3 - human, for a minute

[betweenthescarletmoon]

Random Thoughts on the Arcane Fandom about Jayce

this is gonna be a mess but I have nowhere else to talk about this.

I've recently noticed how Jayce Talis has been subjected to all kinds of sexualization since the drop of Act 2 of the second season. People have mentioned many times how trauma has made him "hot". A good and well-known example of this is Danny Motta's reaction to episode 5, where he said, "Holy shit, they made Jayce hot! [...] My dude went from looking like a Muppet to the king of Rohan, and all it took was a little bit of trauma."

This isn't entirely new for him? If people didn't hate Jayce back in S1, they ogled him in the scene where he works on the Forge shirtless, which IS kinda the point because the animators are making him very obviously attractive. But most importantly, he as a character has been reduced to his sexual or romantic relationships since the beginning of time.

It seems that S2 is a response to this in a way. His arc from the ending of S1, where he took responsibility of his actions out of guilt for the child he killed, was slightly set aside for Viktor. Well, ALL of his life, dreams, decisions, everything about him was eclipsed by Viktor's shadow because of the whole "all times, all possibilities" twist. He wasn't expected to show up as a Councilor in any of the meetings, and we must assume he quits at some point, but he surely hasn't resigned from his position by the time Viktor wakes up. Apart from that much needed scene between him and Cait, and the one where he attends the memorial (and is attacked by a vengeful mother), we don't see many of his decisions or what leads him to make them, other than Viktor. This is beautiful in a way because we can SEE how it is a trauma response to losing him. He is obsessive by nature, and he clings to what keeps him and his loved ones safe excessively, but I still had to do a bit of mental gymnastics as to why he went back on the second promise: to not build Hextech weapons again. (Hint: it has to do with the fact that VI saved him with HIS weapon, but it went so fast it's hard to process in the first watch.)

Now back to the sexualization problem. Every time I look up his name and trauma, or PTSD, 95% of the results are thirst edits on Tiktok about how hot he is. No joke. One of the more serious results is my own edit. Of course, a lot of people connect with his suffering without naming it as trauma, and that is great. My concern is that there has been so much focus on Jinx's trauma, Viktor's trauma, even Silco's trauma (which are all valid and fascinating to explore), but there's less attention for other characters who clearly show how their own traumatic experiences has shaped them. Vi, Caitlyn, and Jayce are some of the clearest examples of this, and they've experienced some truly heinous things in the show. Trauma cannot be compared, ever. But why is it that Jayce, who lived through an apocalypse that HE knows HE caused, and lives in complete isolation except the "company" of metal watchers, to the point that he loses touch with reality, and is changed so irrevocably that he loses the naivety and starry-eyed optimism that has always defined him...is seen as hot? And more importantly, why is it that there is very little attention to his experiences on that cave? Every scene between him and Viktor is uploaded in 1080 HD quality, but the scenes of him alone? Fighting to survive? Showing remarkable resilience in the face of his suffering? No, that's not as fun. Not a single one of those scenes is uploaded fully, and I have checked many times. (Some people have actually skipped those scenes to focus on Timebomb. I'm...)

I went online and looked up "why do people sexualize traumatized characters" because let's face it, it's real, it's interesting, and I cannot judge or else I am a hypocrite. Bucky Barnes, Loki, Ellie Williams, Dean Winchester, Vi herself, the list goes on much longer but I can't think of others off the top of my head. We connect with their suffering, and we are pulled by their experiences.

However, Jayce is such a complicated case because he is usually thought of as the greedy himbo that fumbled two baddies, or the confused bisexual, or the guy who lost it because of a situationship (much like Vi, who DID NOT lose it because of a failed romantic endeavor bfr). And then the plot goes and tells us, "Actually, yeah, his life outside of Viktor doesn't matter, he's not even supposed to be alive, because Viktor saved him. All of time is completely inextricable from Viktor." People hate meljay because she manipulated him and "trapped" him in a relationship or something, only to celebrate it when something suspiciously similar happens with the male romantic interest? I initially thought it was beautiful too, bc Soulmates, but man. Mage!Viktor really left the man he loved to rot in complete isolation, eating raw reptiles until throwing up, losing his mind. Say what you want about the allegory for Viktor's life, at least Viktor's isolation was metaphorical up until the Glorious Evolution.

Despite us being shown this, people make thirst edits of him in his black fit, and fighting with sexual tension with Viktor. I fear...that I am the only one who finds this tragic. The man forced to create a larger than life persona to sell his work and be seen as an attractive pawn of the system, has become the attractive pawn of the narrative. Viktor's narrative.

Perhaps Viktor was forgotten by the world. But Jayce's kind heart, and brave soul, were forgotten by us.

Just some thoughts to chew about my favorite character and my wish that more people focused on his arc with me

[imnameimswrld]

╰┈➤ ❝ [𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐞 || 𝗝𝗝 ꒱꒱

━━ ❪ . . . jungkook x popstar!reader ❫

━━ ❪ . . . description : bullied for being "immature" , y/n goes dark for a whole year, before returning with a new sound, and a whole different aesthetic, and the world is shocked to find just who's been by her side through it all ; ❫

━━ ❪ . . . smau ! ❫

━━ ❪ warnings: none ❫

━━ ❪ fc: dove cameron ❫

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

before...

ynusername

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ynusername sunday vibes 🌻

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user pretty !

user jesus, you're not in Disney Channel anore girl, grow tf up.

user ...you know you're not 16 anymore right ? 🤭

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⤿ user wdym ???

⤿ user first of all she's been blonde since her liv and maddies, and she's been all prissy princess when we all KNOW she ain't nothing like that. she needs to grow up, like, yesterday already.

⤿ user there's nothing wrong with her still being blonde tf, YOU should grow up.

user so no one is gonna talk about kim taehyung in the likes ? no ? okay...

one yeah later...

ynusername added to their story !

ynusername

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ynusername hi loves, I'm back – alchemical out this Friday 🤍.

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user holy shit – MOMMY !?

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uarmyhope 🔥🔥🔥

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ynupdates

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ynupdates BREAKING NEWS GUYS !! Y/N was spotted out yesterday in Miami with... JEON JUNGKOOK FROM BTS !?!?!? I'm no kpop fan but what I do is, he is fine as hell, and look at our girl's smile !!!! I love seeing her happy.

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user HELLOOO !? my worlds colliding fr daamn

user JUNGKOOK WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

user y/n looks so happy omg 😭

user HAND PLACEMENT !?

user I am so here for this – if I see any toxic army coming for her istg

abcdefghi__lmnopqrstuvwxyz

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abcdefghi__lmnopqrstuvwxyz a lethal woman, but the best lover 🖤

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user JEON. JUNG. KOOK !?

user bro hasn't posted since 2022 😭

thv alchemical>>>>golden.

⤿ ynusername tae 😭

⤿ abcdefghi__lmnopqrstuvwxyz wow...

user V PLS- 😭😭

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ynusername

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ynusername eternally greatful for your continuous love and support through the years baby 💋

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user YEARS !?

user y/n was at the ptd show in vegas !? holy shit they've been together for way longer than i expected.

uramyhope ynkook !!!

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user they're actually so perfect for each other

user WAIT- y/n gets it seven days a week !?

⤿ user LMFAO 😭😭😭😭😭

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part two

authors note: well, holy shit, the response to this has been so unexpected yet insanely appreciated and humbling! the kind words of support and interest really have been so wonderful to receive. thank you thank you thank you!

this ended up much longer than i intended, but i couldn't find a "good" place to break it in half, so i apologize for the length.

i also feel like this is a bit on the boring but necessary side in terms of setting the scene and backdrop for what's to come....

i also feel like this is gonna def be more than 4 parts, so sorry!!!!

warnings: language, slight sexy time, suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny's child

words: 7.5k

tag gang: @pixiedust4000 @southerngirl41 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @wonderingfashion @tshepisho @lizzycaraballo-blog @xiamentshoneypot

“I need a break.” He slid out of you, the absence of his thick dick noticeable and borderline uncomfortable. Despite the fact that your voice was hoarse, limbs jello, and pussy tender as all outdoors, you still wanted him. Wanted to feel him inside you. But you knew you also needed some amount of time for your body recoup for the next round, so you made logic overpowered lust.

He made a sound, lying on his back, eyes on the ceiling. “So fucking needy for this dick.”

“Shut up.” It was intentionally not a denial, because he wasn’t entirely wrong. It’d been a shitty past couple weeks, what with parent teacher conferences, your least favorite time of the year. There were only so many different ways you could try to gently explain to parents that their child wasn’t the next Cornel West and actually could benefit from “additional evaluations.” But that almost always went over their heads as they attempted to tell you, the professional, the real reason why their child wasn’t doing well.

You were just over all of it and damn near at your wits end when you got the text from Joe that he’d be in town this weekend. That goofy ‘i’m about to get some good dick’ smile was damn near stamped on your face in the days preceding his arrival. You needed an outlet, and wearing yourself out on his dick until you were physically incapacitated happened to be the perfect one, the best one.

It wasn’t like you didn’t have options, you did, but they were subpar. And that was the problem with having a chance to experience superior dick, everything else that followed was mid. No one had ever fucked you like Joe. No man before him had ever made you come from just penetration. You always needed more. Had to sometimes physically instruct them on what you needed. Not with him. He gave you more—-the man could and had stayed with his face buried between your legs for hours on end—-but it wasn’t necessary. He could fuck you to a toe curling, light blinding climax with just a few good, deep strokes.

And yes, you still struggled with the guilt of fucking someone else’s man, but in times like this, where you were beyond stressed the fuck out, all you could think about was getting off and decreasing that stress. The guilt session could come later.

“What’s wrong?” He asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence. You could both be around each other and not say a word without an ounce of discomfort. It was nice.

“Parents suck.” You answer, bluntly, afterwards realizing how vague that is. “I’ve had parent teacher conferences the past couple weeks, and they’ve been getting on my nerves trying to tell me how to do my job.”

“That sounds annoying.”

“Beyond, and makes me feel like they’re insinuating I don’t know what I’m talking about. I do. They just don’t want to hear it.” They prepared you in school, to some extent, to expect those select parents that weren’t the easiest to work with but to always stand behind your professional judgment regardless if one agreed or not. And for the most part, your parents in the years since you’d been teaching were relatively chill. It just seemed that this time of the year is when all of them decided to be in their difficult era.

One hand behind his head, Joe looks over at you. “Then that’s on them.” He shrugs. “You can’t make them hear what they don’t want to hear.”

Groaning loudly, you turn on your side, propping your own head up with your hand. “I know. It just sucks for the kids. There’s a couple who might be on the spectrum or have ADHD, but I can’t outright say it, so all I can do is strongly imply. And trust me, my implications are clear as fucking day. It’s just annoying when I have to work harder than I should to get people to be their kids' advocate, not their adversary.”

He’s quiet for a second and then asks. “What’s the best part of your job?”

The answer doesn’t even require contemplation. “My students. Hands down. I love kids. I love helping them learn and seeing the excitement on their face when they finally grasp a concept I’m teaching. It’s super rewarding.” 

His gaze lingers on you, “Then focus on that. You do this because it’s a passion and a love and you’re clearly good at it.” 

His words marinate over you, reminiscent of past conversations where you’re the one feeding positivity into him, reminding him to not lose focus of what’s most important and why he does what he does. The roles being reversed is different but nice. It’s nice to have him to talk to, it’s always easy to do so.

You move your hand to his chest and slowly walk your fingers downward. “Good dick and good advice. This trip is a double win for me.”

His jaw clenches when you begin to stroke him, sinfully and intentionally slowly. A smirk forms on your face. He’s just as needy for you as you are for him.

Joe’s voice is hoarse with desire. “You ready for the next round?”

“Yes.” You’re not sure if physically, you’re well enough, but that’s what epsom salt baths are for. And Motrin. You need him. Climbing on top, you grab his hardened length and align it at your entrance, dew coating the tip and serving as natural lubricant. “But I want to be on top this time.” 

________

“Mommy!”

You’re startled awake by the loud voice, jumping body, and smiling face of your personal alarm clock. The only alarm clock you’ve ever had that you can’t dictate the time it goes off. It takes a second for you to settle yourself, to push away the inappropriate afterthoughts of such a salacious dream—one you’re slightly disappointed couldn’t play out longer—to focus on the little human in front of you.

The shining sun beaming down on you from the curtains you’re certain she opened assists in doing just that. You rub at your eyes, a small, warm smile growing. “Good morning, Callie Bear.”

Her eyes, big, brown, and always full of curiosity are focused on you as she stops jumping and lands on her knees. “You’re up!”

You chuckle, how can you not be up with a rambunctious four year old jumping on your bed and screaming for you to wake up? ”I’m up.”

“Yay!” She cheers, tiny fists raised up and victory. “Can we have pancakes?” 

“I don’t know.” You pretend to contemplate her request, index finger against your bottom lip. “Can we?”

She pouts, and you bite on your lip to suppress your laughter. Her arms cross over her tiny chest, bonnet covered head tilting to the side. “May we have pancakes?”

Sometimes, you feel bad for your daughter, having a teacher for a mother. You’re always going to be on her about anything academic related, especially English. “We certainly can.” Yawning, you sit up in bed and scratch your scalp through your bonnet. “But first, hygiene.” 

Swooping her into your arms, you’re met with a chorus of giggles as you tickle her stomach with your index finger. Walking into the bathroom, you sit her on the counter and reach her her toothbrush, putting on her (Halle Bailey) Little Mermaid themed toothpaste before letting her do her thing as you do hers.

This is the first time in a while that you’re grateful for your daughter waking you up so early on a weekend. Those dreams….you’d be lying if you said they didn’t happen more than you’d like to admit. You’d tried to figure out what triggered them but have yet to be successful. 

The simplest answer would be that you miss him. You miss Joe, but that’s also the answer you refuse to admit. You can’t miss him. Don’t have the right to miss someone else’s man, someone else’s husband. 

All you can do is be appreciative that one of the biggest regrets in your life brought you your biggest blessing.

Calista, Callie, to almost everyone she knows, was a complete and utter surprise.

It was time for your women’s wellness exam, and in the set of questions they asked you, one was of course the date of your last menstrual cycle. Being stumped for a second was normal, hence why you used your beloved Flo app to track your cycle. But, it’s when you opened the app and realized you hadn’t logged a period in two months, you knew.

Didn’t need a blood test to tell you the obvious. 

You were most definitely pregnant. 

You’d used Flo consistently since you were 14 years old, there was no way in hell you’d forgotten for two whole months to input the period dates.

So, after crying and damn near having a panic attack, your doctor provided you with pamphlets. Options, as they were called. You wouldn’t review them until a couple days later, needing that time to process that you were actually pregnant. Pregnant by a married man that you’d ended things with, ironically, on the night your daughter was conceived.

What in the actual fuck were you supposed to do? Send him a text and say ‘nvm. Congrats, we’re expecting. Are you gonna tell your wife or should I?’ To this day, you’re convinced that the nasty wave of ‘morning sickness’ you experienced the first few weeks of finding out you were with child was actually just your absolute disgust that you’d allowed another woman’s husband to impregnate you.

It was like you were walking in the same footsteps your mother molded for you. Something you swore you’d die before letting happen.

What’s that saying? We make plans, and God laughs. Well, he must be having a field day with you. 

It was actually in confiding in Mariah, your best friend since kindergarten, that you were able to look past your shame and panic to see this for what it is.

“You want to have kids, don’t you?” She asked in an obvious tone, picking through the big bowl of popcorn you two shared while Insecure played at a low volume on your TV. “Well, here’s the kid.”

“I wanted to have kids with a husband, Mariah.”

“Well—“

“Shut up.” You tossed a few pieces of popcorn in her direction. This was not the time for her occasional joke. You were too busy having a mental breakdown.

“Does it really matter how the baby got here? Aren’t you the one always saying kids are a blessing? Why are you trying to block yours?” It’s a fair, valid point that you’re too stubborn to want to hear, even if it’s what you needed to hear. “I’m just saying if you’ve been blessed with being a mom, something you’ve always wanted. Seems kinda silly we’re having this discussion instead of baby names, baby showers, and gender reveals.”

“I’m not doing a gender reveal.” That much you are absolutely sure of. Never. But, Mariah’s words do resonate with you. Why were you so caught up on how you got pregnant? Yeah, it was fucked up, but dwelling on it did nothing but make you feel worse. You always imagined this would be a happy occasion, couldn’t you find it in you to be happy? Regardless of the father and that whole Tubi of a situation.

There was a life growing inside of you, no matter the dynamics of the creation, the child had done nothing wrong, didn’t deserve to be blamed. And the truth was you weren’t really that upset, you were more happy than anything, if you really allowed yourself to feel without reservation. Borderline excited, even. Maybe even at the fact that you would always have a small piece of him with you in a really big way. 

Even if he wouldn’t be a part of that experience.

And it was then that you decided. You didn’t care what anyone thought, couldn’t think about how your mother, who was completely unaware about your relationship with Joe for the entire three years, would react. You’d figure out the rest of this later because you were having this baby, but you were having this baby by yourself. Joe couldn’t know.

He wouldn’t know.

And almost five years later, nothing has changed. Yes, you absolutely couldn’t see yourself making it through your pregnancy and even the first few weeks postpartum without the help of your mom and Mariah. But, for the most part, you did everything you could by yourself for your daughter, wanting her to see the strength and perseverance of a strong, single mother. 

She finishes brushing before you and spits out the remnant toothpaste in her mouth. “Are we gonna see grandma today?”

You finish a few seconds after, spitting and wiping your mouth before answering. “We certainly are.”

“Yay!” She celebrates as you bring the towel to her face, giving it a gentle cleanse before tossing it into the hamper. Callie wastes no time in removing her bonnet and giving her curls a good shake. The two of you share a laugh as you follow suit. 

 “Pancake time?”

Separating some of her coils, you answer with a wink. “Let mommy wash her face, and I’ll be right out, kiddo.”

“Okay.” Nodding, she jumps off the counter and hurries into the kitchen knowing good and well what’s about to come out of your mouth.

“Sis, what have I told you about jumping off this damn counter?” All you hear is giggling in the wake of her dash. This child has daredevil tendencies that bring out a certain, uncomfortable level of anxiety. Medical bills weren’t in the budget, so you needed her to calm the hell down. 

She probably gets it from–

Shaking your head from unnecessary thoughts, you quickly work your way through your routine and eventually meet her in the kitchen to find her on her tablet, probably trying to figure out what movie to put on while you two cook. On the weekends, you remove the passcode from her device but still maintain the time limits for her overall screen time. 

You refuse to allow her to become an “ipad kid.”

“What’cha pick for us?” Moving through the kitchen, you pull out the necessary items and place them on the small island. 

Climbing onto the barstool, she flips the screen with a proud smile. “Moana!”

Gasping with faux surprise, you ask, “again?”

Much like her mother who was like her mother, an affinity and passion for all things Disney is another thing your child inherited. She could watch Disney movies for the rest of life and never get bored. And Moana was at the top of that list, the new Little Mermaid was a close favorite, but Moana resonated deeply with Callie for reasons you still don’t fully understand. 

Well, she is half Pacific Islan—

Clearing your throat, you and Callie get to work on breakfast, both singing along and dancing to the catchy Disney music. It’s a sweet bonding moment between the two of you, a bit of a tradition on the weekends. You’re not much of a cook, at all, but breakfast food is relatively simple. And thankfully, your child is not as picky as some other kids. A stack of pancakes with sausage is always enough to satisfy her. 

It’s when you’re both sitting in the living room, on the floor, legs crossed while you eat the delicious breakfast that you’d prepared together that a thought crosses your mind.

A distraction could be beneficial, the dream from earlier still floating around in the back of your head. And not even the dream in as much as the main event from the theme. 

You needed some dick. It’d been too long, that itch needing a scratch to give you some much needed reset. 

So, it’s when Callie is focused on the scene in Moana when Maui’s hook is broken that you grab your phone and shoot off a text. 

You free today?

Not even five minutes later, your phone buzzes with a response. 

Just tell me when and where.

________

Walking through the doors of your mother’s hair salon is always an experience, nostalgic almost, to all the times you and your friends would hang out there with the hopes that you could get free or discounted services. Usually free for you, not so much for your friends. 

Business was still business.

The familiar smell of hair oils, deep conditioner, and the overall sound of flat irons sizzling through hair brings a warm smile to your face. It’s things like this, this place even, that remind you why you decided to come home after college.

Home, where the closest major stores like Target and Walmart, and even the airport, are nearly half an hour away. Where you have only one elementary school, one middle school, and one high school. Where many of the streets are two laned and littered with storefronts, like your mom’s salon. Hell, the freaking bank, post office, and city hall are in the same building.

Everyone knows everyone, and for the most part, everyone looks out for each other. 

It isn’t for everybody, this almost Hallmark movie type setup. You know this. Hence why many leave for school and never or seldom return. But, for you, it’s home.

It’s also the perfect place to discreetly and raise the daughter of a celebrity.

“Grandma!”

Your mom is in the middle of a conversation with a patron but almost immediately redirects her attention to the equally familiar voice of Calista. “There’s my grandbaby!” Callie runs into your mom’s arms and is peppered with kisses all over. “Looking more and more like your mama every day.”

That genuinely makes you smile. You tend to think she favors Joe more than yourself, usually when she’s making certain facial expressions. She has a lot of his mannerisms, which you are grateful for, happy that she has characteristics from both sides. But any and all of the good things she can take from you, you want her to have.  

Callie’s smile is bright and infectious, as always. “That’s cause mommy’s my mommy!”

You laugh, approaching them and leaning in for your mom’s one armed hug as she has Callie in her other arm. “Hey, mama.”

“Hey, baby.”

Your relationship with your mom has definitely been up and down over the years, which you’d like to think is the standard for most mother-daughters. It’s something that’s arguably strengthened over time, especially post Callie. You’d gained so much more appreciation for your mother raising you on her own as a single parent. There was always appreciation, but infinitely more now as you were also in the same position. 

“I was hoping she could hang out with you for a little bit today. I have some business to take care of. If that’s okay?” 

Your mother gives you the look, the look that indicates she knows there’s more to what you’re saying but she won’t push out of respect for your privacy. And you’re grateful for that. You don’t necessarily want to explain that you need her to keep an eye out on Callie while you attend your dick appointment. 

Sucking her teeth, she starts walking to the back where her office is located. “When have I ever had an issue spending time with my only grandchild?” She has you there. Your mom would take Callie every day if you let her, and you’re so thankful for that. Not even for the tremendous assistance your mom provides but for the close relationship she has with Callie, similar to how close you were with your grandma. “Want me to do her wash day for her while she’s here?”

At that, Callie’s eyes go wide as she starts to whine, “noooo. I don’t want to.”

You chuckle. “That’s how mommy feels too, babes.” You dreaded her wash day as much as you dreaded your own. The women in your family were blessed with long, thick, healthy curls that Callie clearly inherited from you but also her father’s side cause the girl had some hair. “If you don’t mind, mama.”

She waves off your unnecessary added comment and starts to assess the state of Callie’s hair, murmuring comments to herself. 

You lean down in front of Callie and move your hand to her knee. “You sure you’re gonna be okay, sweetie?”

She nods and asks, “can we get ice cream when you come back?”

“We surely can.” You don’t allow her to have a lot of sweets—she already has enough energy as it is—but every so often, you two get the homemade ice cream cones at the local parlor. Sometimes you’ll sit outside and just talk, sharing laughs and inside jokes over the best ice cream anyone could ever have. And considering she’s about to endure a wash day, she deserves it. “I love you, Callie Bear.”

Putting her tablet on her lap, she leans over and hugs you tight. For such a tiny human, she always gives the best, most loving hugs. “I love you too, mama.”

Callie goes back to her tablet, and you issue your mom one more statement of appreciation before heading out so you can have your urge squashed and get back in time to have dessert with your little girl. 

On the car ride there, you send up a quick prayer that this time will be different, that you can get what you need and be gone without being asked to stay. It’s always the same answer, so maybe the last one finally stuck to where he won’t hope.

Won’t get his own feelings hurt.

________

“You know you don’t always have to leave right away.”

Of course.....of course.

You’re in the midst of hooking your bra back on when he hits you with the offer you were stupidly hoping he’d pass on this time around. 

Bold of you to assume you could come get some dick without this man trying to turn it into a cuddle session. 

Your smile is tight as you politely decline. “I don’t want to leave Callie at the salon too long. You never know what she’s hearing.”

It’s a weak excuse, hence him poking a hole right through it. “You know your mom would shut that down right away. Get back in the bed.”

“Really, Amir, I can’t stay.” Once your bra is on, you reach on the ground for your panties, sliding them back on as well. The sooner you get yourself decent, the sooner you can dip.

“Can’t or won’t?”

And here it goes. Sometimes, you wonder why you continue to put yourself in this situation. Amir’s stroke game is nice, but is it really worth this constant routine? You two fuck, he tries to make it more, an argument, silence on both ends for a little while until one of you needs that urge handled. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. 

It’s been roughly the same since you were in high school.

Amir was your first damn near everything: first crush, first boyfriend, first kiss, first time. It was a textbook small town romance. He was the quarterback, and you were the cheerleading captain. Everyone said you were perfect together and predicted at one point you’d get married after college. Truthfully, you once thought the same. But outside of aesthetics, your relationship was always rocky, borderline toxic. 

He had poor boundaries with other girls but never saw an issue because it never went beyond flirting. And because you were young, dumb, and just as toxic sometimes, you’d intentionally flirt with other guys to piss him off, knowing it was wrong to drag innocents into your Bobby and Whitney of a relationship but more interested in making him see your side of it.. 

Still, young and dumb. Not an excuse, but definitely a reason.

Even as you both went off to college, each attending separate schools, you’d occasionally hookup during the winter breaks. More often during the summer. He was your constant, preferred over allowing random dick into you, especially as he was most familiar and you knew he was clean. The devil you know type of thing.

Post college was when you really ended it, deciding that it was time to put the childish things behind you, time to put him behind you.

And you’d done relatively well for a while, the two of you becoming damn near strangers. Especially when Joe came into the picture. Amir was good in bed, but Joe was heavenly. Just the thought of anyone other than him fucking you at that time was repulsing. 

But, Joe is gone, has been, so now you’re stuck returning to the same nigga you just can’t seem to get rid of because he has a decent sized dick he, mostly, knows how to use.

And your rose can only go so far. 

“Fine. Won’t. Don’t. Not interested.” Standing up, you shoot him a look of challenge, of defiance. “Better?”

Your words understandably tick him off as he cruelly asks, “How long are you gonna let yourself be stuck on him? That nigga abandoned you and his kid, what is there to even be stuck on?”

Regardless of what happened between you and Joe, mostly with how it played out, you refuse to allow anyone to speak badly of him. Specifically when it pertains to his absence in your and Callie’s lives, especially since that was 100% your call. Only a select few know the full story, therefore the majority have no right to speak on it. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, so please just shut the fuck up.”

“Where is he then, huh? It’s been almost 5 years, Y/N. You need to move the fuck on. He’s your past.” Moving out of the bed, he comes up to you and places one hand to your face. You fight the desire to pull away. His touch is suddenly uncomfortable, feels wrong and noisome. “It’s time to focus on your future.”

Not that you’d ever admit it to Amir, but there’s a hint of truth to his voice. Eventually, random hookups to fulfill your sexual needs will become insufficient. Hell, even now, you still desire to be married, to give Callie that 'traditional' family. The problem is mostly lack of options, even if Amir seems convinced you two should give it another try.

 When hell freezes over. 

Your voice is even and to the point as you finish dressing and pull out your key fob. “Like I said, thanks for the scratch, but that’s all this is.” Without giving him time to talk more shit, you head out the door without another fucking word.

________

“Oh shit, is that ole girl Randy used to mess with?” Joe is only halfheartedly listening to what his cousin is saying, mostly focused on the work email he’s reading on his phone. It’s far and few in between they actually have time off, let alone enough time to go home and be among the rest of family. He’s trying to enjoy it and is enjoying it, but work is always on his mind, hence his inability to ignore the email notification that slid in mid-group conversation. “What was her name?”

“It started with an M, didn’t it?” Jey suggests. “Mariah, I think.” 

It's when the correct name is stated that Joe’s attention is briefly redirected. Mariah was your friend, the reason he was ever introduced to you. It’s a name he hasn’t heard in years. If only that was the same amount of time it’s been since he thought of you. No, instead, you’ve taken up real estate in his mind more than he’d ever like to admit or acknowledge.

“Wait, isn’t that—-” Jimmy is silenced, and out of the corner of Joe’s eye, he can see it’s because Jey gave him a look. That look you give someone when you want them to shut up.

Now…now they have his attention.

“What?” It’s when the twins share a look with each other, Jey shaking his head that Joe puts his phone to the side as Jimmy hits the lock button on his phone. “Let me see.” 

“Look, Uce—”

“I said, let me see.” One thing Joe can’t stand more than anything is when people beat around the bush or try to hide things from him. He prefers people to be upfront and honest, damn whatever feelings come up. The truth is always better, in his mind.

And yet……

Shaking his head, Jimmy blows out a breath and hands his cousin the phone.

Joe looks down and instantly regrets ever pushing the matter.

Five years.

It’s been almost five fucking years since he’s seen that beautiful smile, those deep dimples that were one of the first things he noticed about you, outside of your breathtaking beauty. You looked almost exactly the same, maybe a bit heavier, still in all of the right places. Hair a little longer but still the same deep onyx with streaks of purple. You’re smiling and posing with Mariah who also hasn’t changed much outside of a new hair color and the huge baby bump she’s sporting. A baby shower, he’d guess. 

But outside the shock of seeing you, Joe’s attention is also on the third person in the photo. A child, young in age, no more than 4 or 5, black, curly hair styled in two space-buns and a deep dimpled smile that’s almost identical to yours. Her eyes are a beautiful light brown shade, a contrast to your chocolate colored eyes.

But similar to….similiar to his. 

Brows furrowed, Joe is surprised to see you’re tagged in the photo, so he goes to your profile and is even more shocked to find it public. You were always such a private person, but he chalks it up to the fact that the only people who’d really know how to find it would have to be those close to you.

You don’t have a ton of pictures, but he clicks on the first one that has a set of photos of you and the same little girl from the baby shower. It’s dated almost six months ago, so not the newest but better than nothing. The post is a slideshow, so he begins to scroll through the photos, each of them with you and that same child, clearly at various points in her life. The last one stops him for a moment, a photo of you, crying, in a hospital bed holding a newborn baby. 

Swallowing back his emotions, Joe redirects his gaze to the caption:

my calista, my callie, my baby girl. God used one of the hardest periods of my life to bless me with the best gift anyone can receive. every day with you is an adventure. from your incessant questions about the most random of things, constant requests for disney movie marathons, to the way you refuse to part from me without giving the biggest hug and kiss goodbye while yelling ‘i love you, mommy!’. callie, you are my whole heart, and there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you, sweet girl. here’s to year 4 and many many more of having the biggest honor and privilege ever of being your mama bear. 

So many things are going through his head right now. 

You had a child.

You have a child.

Based upon the date of the post, you have a child who will be five years old in a couple of months.

A child who has your smile, but his eyes, his nose, and a complexion that looks the perfect combination of the two of you. She looks like the perfect combination of the two of you.

It’s hard to not jump to the obviously glaring conclusion that all of this brings, and still, he tries to not allow his head to go there. You would….you would never do that. You would never keep his child from him, no matter how things ended between the two of you. There was wrongness to that that reached low levels of depravity, and he just couldn’t conjoin that kind of deception with who he always knew you to be. 

You were a woman who believed and tried to live by her morals. It was the reason you eventually cut him out of your life. Nothing about not telling him he has a child is moral. 

He wordlessly hands the phone back to Jimmy and goes back to reading the email, acting like nothing just happened and he doesn't have a million and one thoughts running through the back of his mind. 

It’s after he walks away, giving off an excuse that he needs to call Hunter to discuss a proposed promo that the conversation commences.

“So, we all just gon act like that lil' girl don’t look like Uce? She even got his eyes, man,” Jimmy, being Jimmy, is the first to say it aloud, the only one to actually verbalize what the others are thinking. 

“Jimmy,” Naomi chides but can’t help adding. “Do you really think that could be his kid?”

Jey decides to join in on the conversation. “It’s possible. They messed around for years.”

“But would she really do that? Have his baby and not even tell him about her?” Naomi only met you a handful of times, but all of the interactions were pleasant, and she secretly thought you and Joe would have made a cute couple if the stars were aligned differently. “She had to have told him.”

Jimmy gestures to the sliding door Joe walked through minutes earlier. “Does that look like he knew?”

“This is all just speculation.” Joseph decides to join the conversation, always the one who prefers to listen to all sides before adding his two cents. “Similiar facial features don’t mean they’re related.”

“No, but add in the timeline plus the way it ended, and you can’t help but lean one way.”

“What did happen between them?” Somewhat newer to this circle, Joseph realizes that’s a topic he’s never really heard much about. He knows his cousin basically has an open marriage and sleeps around, but he’s always heard whispers there was a woman he was with for years. 

“She just ended it one day.” Jey answers with a shrug. “Uce really ain't say much outside of that. It was sudden though.”

“But was it? Three years of waiting around for a guy to maybe or maybe not leave his wife for you?” Naomi serves as a counter, shaking her head and leaning forward to rest her chin in her hand. “Sounds like more than enough time to me.”

“It wasn’t nothing like that though. They was just messing around,” Jimmy defends.

“He cut off every other woman he was messing with when they were together.” Jey distinctly remembers how his cousin had one woman and only one woman on speed dial during that period, and it was you. It was always you. “I think it was more than just messing around.”

Joseph nods, taking in all this information. “So, if she is his, do you think she kept her a secret to get back at him for not divorcing Jadah?” It’s a bold question, but a valid one that Jey is the first to dispute.

“Naw, I’m with Naomi. Y/N wouldn’t do that.”

Jimmy shakes his head, starting to see how this is all looking to play out. “Well, if that is Joe’s daughter and that’s how he found out he has a child….this shit is about to get real ugly.”

________

Joe tried to tell himself it was just a wild coincidence. Reminded himself that you yourself said you wanted to get married, have kids. And you’d done that, had a kid. However, revisiting your Instagram pictures, in none of your posts did he see a man.

Or a wedding ring.

And just how fucking quickly could you have moved on? Doing the math, you would have had to have someone on speed dial to get pregnant as fast as you did. And that doesn’t line up with who he knew you to be. You were fucking him and only him. 

You were with him and only him.

So that left him and only him.

And like a man hyperfixated on trying to solve a puzzle, he looks at every single post on your Instagram, starting from the year you met up until now. He focuses especially on the posts that include your daughter, not that many, but enough. 

And when it’s all said and done, thoughts vs counterthoughts, logic vs emotion, Joe is 100% convinced that this is his child.

That he’s just now found out he’s a father through fucking Instagram. 

And now he’s pissed because who the hell were you to keep his child from him? He didn’t give a fuck how you felt about him and his being married, that didn’t give you an excuse to hide a whole kid? 

His kid. 

________

“Ready for your bedtime story, Callie Bear?” 

Reading with Callie has been a must since you found out you were pregnant. Your mom always told you how she read to you in the womb and to this day believes it’s why you always tested out so high with your reading abilities, even in the first grade. You’re not sure how accurate it is, having read some studies and whatnot, but you’ve followed suit, reading to Callie even when she was in your belly. Almost five years later, it’s now a tradition. She can’t go to sleep without a story.

She nods happily. You laugh and slide into the bed next to her. Naturally, she cuddles close to you, book already picked out and waiting on the bed. It’s one she’s heard a dozen times before but one of her favorites, so you read it just as theatrically, voice changes, and everything. Her giggles of happiness and merriment warm your heart. You love these one-on-one moments, wishing you could jar them and keep them stored away forever.

You’re a couple chapters in when she starts to yawn, eyes struggling to stay open, that you slide in the bookmark and promise to pick it up again tomorrow. You know Callie is ready to call it a night when she doesn’t protest. 

But, it’s after placing the book on the shelf and going to tuck her into her covers that she hits you with a question that nearly sends you into cardiac arrest.

“Mommy, why don’t I have a daddy?”

You’re not stupid, far from it. This question was bound to come up, sooner or later. For your own selfish sake though, you were hopeful for later, much much later.

She continues, almost nervous in tone. “Ms. Leah said you need a mommy and a daddy to make a baby, so where’s my daddy?”

Curious how the conversation of where babies came from came about, you make a mental note to discuss this with your daughter’s preschool teacher before working to answer her valid question. Truth be told, you have no idea how to answer it. But if anxiety was the dominant emotion before, sadness and devastation easily topple that at the next thing to come out of her mouth.

“Does he not  love me?”

It’s not until that moment that you truly know what it feels like for your heart to shatter into absolute pieces.

“Oh, baby….” Crouching down beside her bed, you move your hand to her forehead, thumb gently caressing her soft skin. You’re so damn lost on how to handle this, what to say to take away her obvious pain, that you go with the soonest thing that hits the forefront of your brain. “Your daddy…..he….he wasn’t ready to be a daddy.”

It could be the truth, it could be a lie. You never gave yourself—or him—the chance to find out, and up until this point, you never saw an issue with that. But now….now you’re wondering just who you made that decision for. 

And if it was the right one.

Callie’s frown deepens, the answer clearly not one that makes her feel any better. “What if I’m a really good girl? Will he be ready then?”

The shattered pieces are now dust, granulated dust that you struggle to hold together in trembling palms. You bring both hands to her face. “Calista, you listen to me. You are the kindest, sweetest, most amazing little girl in the whole wide world. You don’t need to do anything to be a good girl because you are already a good girl, the best girl.”

Her eyes glaze over as she sniffles and asks in a small voice. “So why doesn’t he want me?”

“Oh, sweetie…” You pull her into a hug, holding her close and tight, as if doing so will allow her to absorb all of the love and adoration you have for this tiny human who made your life have meaning. “I’m gonna talk to him, okay? I’ll….I’ll talk to him.” That’s all you can say, even if it’s not a guarantee, even if you have no idea where such an offer came from. And you hate yourself for doing that, for getting her hopes up over something that may not even happen. You haven’t spoken to Joe in almost five years, there’s no guarantee the number is even still the same.

Still, you know you have to at least try, especially when you pull back and see the renewed hope in her teary eyes, the eyes she shares with the father she’s clearly desperate to know about, to meet, to have. 

You close your eyes and press your forehead against hers, speaking with all the love and affirmation in the world, “I love you, Calista. Always, baby.” 

You’re relieved to hear her reply in a less saddened and more hopeful tone, “I love you too, mommy.”

It’s after you’re certain Callie is knocked out and you’ve exhausted every single step of your nighttime routine that you pace around your room, partially trying to avoid an action you know you need to take. 

Especially when you find his number in your phone from an old text thread you could never find it in you to delete. 

You go back and forth for nearly twenty minutes before deciding on a simple question.

is this still joe’s number?

You feel like a damn child, throwing the phone down on the bed and burying your face into your hands. This is so much more difficult than it needs to be, or maybe it isn’t. You made the executive decision to not make Joe aware of your pregnancy for a variety of reasons that felt solid at the time.

Now…now you don’t know any fucking thing anymore, it seems. 

What you do know is that you nearly jump off the bed when your phone begins to ring. Frowning, you look at the time, wondering who in the hell could be calling you at damn near midnight.

But, it’s when you lift your phone to see the caller you know exactly why someone is calling you at damn near midnight.

Ignoring it is so tempting, but the image of Callie in tears wondering why she’s not loved or wanted is more than enough to trample your selfish desires. Sliding the green button upward, you place the phone against your ear, take a deep breath, and speak, “hi.” 

He exhales, your name leaving his mouth for the first time in years. Hearing his voice, let alone hearing him say your name, creates a heaviness you weren’t expecting. Then again, you weren’t expecting to speak to him at all tonight.

Or ever, for that matter.

Communication is suddenly incredibly difficult as you struggle to string words together to create a cohesive statement. “I’m….I’m sorry for calling so late, but—”

“We need to talk.” While your tone is soft and nervous, his is serious and borderline stoic. It takes you for a bit of a loop, but you try not to put too much into it. The real focus should be why he interrupted you so harshly with such a bold statement. He’s not wrong, but why does he think you need to talk? “I’ll get a flight out tomorrow.”

That breaks you from your thoughts. A what?  “wait—”

“You still at the same place?”

Swallowing, still very much confused, you answer, “yes, but—”

“I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

The phone goes silent on the other end, and you realize it’s because he’s ended the call. You must stare at that phone for a good five minutes in complete utter shock. Eventually, coming out of the catatonia, only one thought circulates around your mind.

What in the actual fuck just happened? 

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

"floral blessings" ; a braindump from yours truly because this card is absofuckinglutely my most favorite xavier card on the face of the planet and i am. going. to talk about it <3

like with all my 5* card "analyses" (but also more like a wordvomit really 😭) this will contain spoilers for: (a) this card itself, (b) the lightseeker myth, (c) the lumiere myth, (d) anecdotes, main story, and world underneath !

[ this is also very long............ you have been warned 🤲 ]

first of all...... MY GOD...... FHSNNFBSJFJSJFK YELLING SCREAMING THROWING UP IM NEVER GETTING OVER THE KINDLED CARD FOR THIS BECAUSE. BECAUSE HELLOOOO??? HELLOOOO???

anyway..................

timeline-wise, the card pretty much implies a very solid relationship between the two, so while i don't know where i'd place it between 21 days and no restraint, it's definitely still after 21 days! but with that said, rather than more focus on their individual development like in no restraint, this one seems to focus more on their relationship as a whole, i think?

overall this braindump won't be as organized as what i wrote for no restraint (i think...) because my brain is still so completely absolutely mush over this card, but i needed to write SOMETHING or i'd explode to smithereens 😭 so nevertheless...!!!! i'll section off a couple scenes so if you want an outline, it'd be something like:

[1] general setup (an overview of parallels); [2] "reunion" (parallels and relationship development); [3] xavier's forwardness (the courtyard meetings, lessons, giving of the mask); [4] day of the festival; [5] the wish

but bear with me;;; there is SO MUCH that goes on here, and i really wish i had the patience and coherency to point out every little thing because holy shit 😭

firstly though, and i just found this really cool, but apparently the flower goddess festival is (was) an actual thing!

from what i've found (and correct me in i'm wrong) it's apparently a very ancient festival that's not widely celebrated these days, so it's not super popular or well-known, but it has many names such as: "Flower Goddess Festival (花神节 huāshén jié)" "Hundred Flowers’ Birthday (百花生日 bǎihuā shēngrì)" and "Flower Goddess’ Birthday (花神生日 huāshén shēngrì)" !!! i couldn't find much information about it though, but it seems that what was in the card such as the flower cakes and the dance really were actually part of the festival~ and i've also seen people say that xavier and mc's outfits feel to be from the tang dynasty, which a lot of people speculate is the time period that this festival originated!

BUT, MOVING ON...

i. general setup — an overview of parallels

i think honestly what's most interesting to me here is how much the overall card mirrors xavier's lightseeker myth so incredibly well. with all of xavier's cards, and how he's grown as a person and how their relationship has developed overall... so much of all of that ties to who he was as a lightseeker, to who he was as the prince of philos. in fact, it goes without saying that lumiere's myth story itself is so bound to the lightseeker myth. because, and i've said this so often and repeat myself a lot with it, lumiere is a direct reflection of the princely persona xavier has grown up with. that the reason he's always been so averse to who he becomes as lumiere is because he essentially channels prince xavier, someone who he's never thought to be truly him, someone who he's been wanting to push aside and no longer be. (i talk about it in my lumiere myth braindumps and touch on it in my no restraint braindump!)

and there's something about that reflection that transfers here, too, because there are two things that all three situations have in common: (1) a position of importance, and (2) a duty to do or fulfil something.

of the prince of philos and heir to the throne, of lumiere as the strongest hunter expected to protect the citizens, of the young master—usually the son of a wealthy family, however, in this case xavier claims he was "adopted" due to his calligraphy skills—with the task of seeing the festival through and teaching the flower goddesses calligraphy.

yet, at the same time, there's something different about the way xavier assumes this role of the "young master":

he's able to say no.

the role is lighter, likely because it's not a true role and, like mc as a flower goddess, he knows that it's temporary—but the way that their first meeting in the courtyard can remind you so much of prince xavier is almost jarring.

it's reminiscent of the very first time mc sees him with his bodyguards, in our most favorite anecdote "when shooting stars fall":

"They aren't clad in all black as one would expect, and they keep a respectable distance away from Xavier. Still, these people exude an air of oppression. Xavier, with his bag, is at the center of their group. It seems he's used to being stared at. The only difference is that rather than being his usual expressionless self, he appears slightly upset."

lt's reminiscent of that time they staged a spar, only for the royal messenger and his guards to interrupt it:

"The royal decree he brought today was related to the future of Philos ... Xavier was taken away by the Royal Messenger. Our duel ended with no clear winner, and the crowd quickly left."

and you can see how his progression grows, from prince xavier, to lumiere, to this role he plays as the young master—if as the prince of philos he had no choice but to follow the path laid out for him until he had enough of it, as lumiere he was more free to choose who he saved and when he saved them. now, as the young master, he's able to say no, sir, something urgent came up. he's able to say right now, i have something that i want to do first.

which, also interestingly, but in the more 'passive' role he played as part of the special task force, he wasn't quite one to say "no" either—though he kept a low and nonchalant profile, he's never outright refuted anyone, even if he might disagree, such as the party gathering or whatnot.

(also, slight segue, but it's notable that he's likely grown into a habit of a little selfishness due to what appears to be some kind of aversion to "serving the people". i do talk a little bit about that here—but it's the fact that (a) all he really cares about is mc, and (b) he likely still doesn't want to fall back into his patterns as prince xavier where he felt chained to think of the people more than the woman he loves. it does bring a little bit of question to his morality, but we know that mc has very much been something like his moral compass throughout.)

but, more than just the ability to say what he thinks and say no to certain things he doesn't put as a priority... he also feels light enough to goof around a little. dozing off/doodling during class, cheekily vying for mc's attention without concern about showing "favor"... something about xavier in this little persona he's taken on is an air of confidence. this was a kind of confidence you didn't see from him as the prince, as lumiere, even as the task force member. and it's not the confidence in his abilities, which has always been there—

it's the confidence in himself.

it takes a certain level of sureness to be able to do things on your own terms, or to be able to voice the fact that you want to.

i believe that throughout the parallels strewn throughout this card with how the setup is, it's this confidence that shines through and really makes things different.

because this time, xavier is different.

he's growing as a person.

ii. the "reunion"

this part of the card had me gasping out loud, i kid you not 😭😭😭 because the parallels really the fuck parallel in here 😭

"The Chen residence is far away. And I can't exactly leave as I'm one of the Flower Goddesses. So, I had to let Xavier investigate himself."

"He said he'd be back after four days. Why isn't he here ... Worried, I sit on the grass and gaze at the night sky. I'm barely in the mood to appreciate the fragrant blooms above."

first of all, the setting very much feels like the meteor shower scenario in "when shooting stars fall", but also...

"Xavier would always leave me like this. At times he joined the expedition team. Other times he was returning to the palace with the Royal Messenger. I'd always ask when he could return. He always returned within the timeframe given to me.Before the Prince entered the Forest, everyone was praying for his safety. At that time, Xavier whispered into my ear... 'Seven days.'"

"He's always lied, again and again and again and again. He said hope would follow when spring arrived. He said he'd take me to the new planet he discovered.He said he didn't want to be King but also refused to let me stand by another's side. He said he'd return when I miss him. He said when I become the Queen of Philos, he'd be my knight. The song he made up is now a reality. Yet as thousands cheer my name, he abandons me... At that moment, a spaceship soars across the sky like a shooting star, disappearing into the night. My footsteps echo in this empty room. No one will be by my side. My star has left me. And this time... he will not return home."

everyone's favorite scene from the lightseeker myth.

while at the same time...

"For some reason, seeing Xavier quietly admiring the nebula, I suddenly feel a wave of panic and instinctively reach out to grab his hand."

^ that's from "shining traces", but only one out of the many examples wherein mc feels as it xavier is someone she could lose at any second—not particularly because she doesn't trust him, but because there's a nagging feeling in her chest that they could be separated for longer than either of them would have hoped to be. after all, it's happened before already, she just doesn't know it. but whatever it was that happened in her previous lives, i've no doubt that the anxiety from back then had likely transferred over anyway.

and this is what this reunion feels like.

a sense of discomfort around his absence, that nagging "what if" he doesn't come back.

but it doesn't stop there—

because xavier does return, albeit very tired-looking (again i'd call this reminiscent of That Moment in "when shooting stars fall" where he brings her the protocore in hopes to keep her from dying).

and more than that, he explains. again, like what happened in the no restraint card, he explains. he doesn't keep things vague on purpose, or makes it seem like he's hiding something from her. he explains, and he takes the initiative to, if only to soothe her worries.

to soothe her worries.

that's an important point.

(and also on a side note:)

HDJJAJDJSJ I HAD TO AND THIS IS A DIRECT PARALLEL TO "No matter how many times it takes, no matter where you are... I will find you." BY THE WAY

anyway......!!!!!!!!! again, it doesn't stop there.

because this scene and this conversation also directly talk about home.

and this conversation means a lot more to xavier than, i think, generally one would realize. mostly because—and i remember kay making a really good point about it here—xavier has gone through a lot to get to where we see him now, and so much of change that he's had to get used to... time traveling so far only to get stuck? the different lifetimes he and the backtrackers would have had to witness this whole entire time?

like i mentioned, our brain's natural instinct is to strive for stability—you can even see it in what we know from our high school biology lessons a la homeostasis. yet, what xavier went through, what the backtrackers went through, is one hell of a shock of a change. it's the kind of change that needs processing, but isn't easy to process, and especially not quickly. and xavier had little to no one to lean on for support, to lean on to guide him through it. the result of which being that, as established even in his earlier cards... change isn't something he likes.

and as also established in world underneath, we know he just simply wants a neat little mundane life with mc.

keyword: with mc.

he doesn't really know what home is, because he has a distorted perception of it—the xavier now, in this moment, still recalls his home planet, the life he has ties to, back in philos. but as he is now, his home is in linkon. and then it comes to the conclusion that the answer is, really truly, neither.

his home is with her.

he says it, this time, explicitly.

it's his declaration that it's okay if things change, as long as he has her—as long as she remains the constant. then change is something he can deal with.

yet, even as he reveals all this to her, the conversation starts with him asking her. the conversation starts about her. and it's she who's able to give the opening back to him, by touching on things like change and belongingness.

"Even in a place this strange, you'll feel like you don't belong. No matter how long you stay ... Am I wrong? l'm sure many people feel safer in a place they're familiar with."

mc isn't a stranger to change, either—she's had a lot of it in her life, specifically the life she lives now as a hunter. the chronorift catastrophe, her family... it's not as if she doesn't know how jarring change can be, and she expresses that here—having to "start again" in a place she's unfamiliar with... it's not easy, and it's easy to feel out of place.

humans are social creatures. we were made to be social, we were made to interact with others. but from that need and that inherent desire (because no matter how small, it's always going to be there) stems the need to belong. a human emotional need to affiliate with and be accepted by members of a group.

this is something that is so prominent in mc that it is a place of solace for her to feel like she belongs somewhere. but this sense of belongingness is something that xavier has NOT experienced for a long, long time. it's only something he's been learning to experience again with her, and the people that surround them in this life that want nothing but the best for them both.

it goes back:

his home is wherever she is.

and i think that it's beautiful that, after hearing xavier's side, mc then chooses to agree with it:

"Maybe... the sense of belonging I have is like yours."

if his home is wherever she is, then her home is with him.

ALSO— while we're talking about this scene... the little banter they have with the flower cake?????? AND THE FACT THAT HE KISSES HER?!!?!?!?! JUST LIKE THAT!!!???!?!?!?!?!! (if you can't tell, i yelled about it)

AND THIS SCENE;?!

—"His eyes are a little red, maybe because of how exhausted he's been lately. Even his blinking has slowed down ... 'I'm a little tired. Can I lie down for a bit?'"

—"Before I can answer, Xavier rests his head on my lap."

DIRECTLY plays out the mutual reliance they have on one another for comfort and rest, because it parallels that line in lightseeking ovsession that we're all familiar with:

"You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me."

i think that as much as they have been growing in to their own persons, they're both so closely intertwined, and so much of their love for each other really just pours out all the time.

iii. xavier's forwardness

granted, one thing that's interesting in this is that they do start out pretty tame. there's a little bit of a vague area concerning their relationship at the start of the card, especially since mc seems back into her old habits of starting something and not following through—or otherwise, unintentionally starting something, and then shying away afterwards. she does get noticeably flustered, but she pushes the fluster away... almost as if old habits die hard.

...but xavier, on the other hand, is more consistently bold with whatever he's doing.

there's no hesitation on his part at all, even.

in fact, xavier is the one who initiates most of these things, and doesn't shy away from it. his cheekiness really shines through—he's the one who kisses her suddenly (and for all the other kisses he initiates in the card); he's the one who fixes her clothes, her hair; he's the one playing around while teaching her calligraphy; he's the one who's so eager and unbothered about showing off their relationship:

—"Did we need to hide? Or can the Young Master not chat with a Flower Goddess?"

—"It was going to be awkward... And I heard one of the hosts of this ceremony is the mansion's owner. Since you're an organizer and the Young Master, it wouldn't look good if I was biased, right?"

—He touches the small of my back, which makes me stand up straight. "But you always have special place in my heart."

and:

"Well, I guess everyone knows now. Does this mean I can officially play favorites?"

like he's actually being SUCH a menace i had to pause and take a deep breath

but he's very consistently bold, and it, again, goes back to the confidence that he's gained in himself. he seems a little less of the uncertain, almost shy ish xavier who didn't quite know how to make proper advances... this time, he knows mc is comfortable with his advances, and he gets to play around with that. they're comfortable around each other, to this point that he can be a little more free with his words and his actions.

and eventually, we see mc beginning to reciprocate that again—especially during the festival itself, and in the kindled moments.

which brings me to...

iv. the festival day

i'd specifically talk about, here, the moment before the dance and during the dance.

because it's alao the exact moment that we see mc begin to actually reciprocate and throw back her own advancements—it's the exact moment we have a confirmation that she loves him, that she adores him, that he means so so so so much to her.

and on the day of the festival, we go back to what i highlighted earlier:

he soothes her worries.

the first instance we see this is their little "reunion" that we talked about—it's his very presence, and his added explanation, that calms her down in that moment.

and now is not so different:

—"The most important part of the ceremony, the Flower Goddess Dance, is about to begin. I glance again at the crowd. 'Where will you be during the dance?'"

—"Xavier gently takes my hand that's holding the petal. 'That flower from the roadside will wilt if you keep touching it.'"

—"'I'm just a little nervous.'"

—"'Scared of dancing, hunter? Actually, I got you a gift ... It was meant to be a surprise. But since you're feeling nervous, I figured I should tell you."

—"'That works. Now, my focus has shifted to the excitement about your gift.'"

(which, another side note, but "Scared of dancing, hunter?" had me GASPING because???? the way he teases her in this?! it's so unabashedly him without holding anything back, no coyness about it but he's being a cheeky little shit 😭 i adore him...)

a few things to note here is that out of context, it does feel like a little bit of an awkward way to be comforting someone—yet, it works extremely well. what xavier does here is not provide reassuring sugarcoated words like "it's going to be okay", he distracts her from the problem instead by giving her something to look forward to. which, in this case, is the gift.

interestingly, in a way the 'distracting' is also reminiscent of something he does when he tries to hide something from her—cutting the conversation short when she asks about lumiere, in the lumiere myth asking her to go check on the 'wanderer' so as not to let her see what he had to inject from the ship...

in his lightseeker myth, they talk briefly about his fight with the king, and the possibility of him no longer taking the throne. this conversation proves vague and a little bit one-sided, and in the end he pushes forward the idea of eloping to uluru almost as if to avoid further discussion about the fight itself.

but this time, that's not particularly where he stops: he addresses her question as well, just to find a fallback, an extra little bit of reassurance.

—"'See that tree over there? I'll be standing under it.'"

—"I follow Xavier's gaze. Nearby is a tree covered in red silk ribbons and wooden plaques by the bridge. 'So if I mess up the dance, you'll see everything, huh?'"

—"'I promise I'll forget about them after a good sleep.' His gaze remains on my face, appearing indifferent. Yet I sense a passion about to overflow. 'The only thing l'll remember today is your beauty.'"

FIRST OF ALL. "The only thing I'll remember today is your beauty." A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING LINE, BY THE WAY. IT GAVE ME LITERAL BUTTERFLIES I HAD TO PAUSE FOR A MOMENT. (1) more proof that in the end she's really all he cares about, (2) he's being unabashedly bold with his words again—no filter moment, but zero hesitation, (3) "i sense a passion about to overflow"? he's not being coy about this either, he's saying what he truly feels. he's opening up and expressing himself more, expressing his love for her more, and being genuine about it!

but also, in terms of additional comfort, it's a widely known tactic in states of panic to ground yourself by using your senses to register something familiar: you see something familiar to you, hear something familiar to you, touch something familiar to you, smell something familiar to you. such as, the ground beneath your feet. the air around you, the vague sound of chattering around you, maybe even the touch of your bag, or the fabric of your clothing, the window you know has always been there, etc. panic brings about a sense of derealization, and grounding yourself is usually the first step to calming down.

what xavier is doing now is offering the knowledge to her that he will be there. that she knows exactly where to look for him if she needs to during the dance. she has the opportunity to ground herself with his presence whenever she needs to.

(and again, it's a direct reflection of that line: "You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me.")

and it's exactly what she does.

though she ends up enjoying the dance and the crowd does block her direct view of the tree during the dance itself, she takes comfort in the fact that she knows he's there.

she trusts him; she doesn't need to see him to know that he'd there.

and then she thinks something beautiful:

"Engrossed in the dance's rhythm, my mind is strangely at peace. After all, I know there's someone in the crowd whose eyes are only on me."

once again, it goes back—his presence offers her comfort.

the first thing she does once she's received all the flowers is run to him, and he waits for her gladly. like he's always waited for her, like he always will wait for her.

"A lot of people wanted to give you flowers. I couldn't get past them, so I decided to wait for you here. Seems they're quite fond of you, just like me."

a note: the peach blossom

i figured this deserved a section on its own actually, particularly because the whole theme is this whole "flower goddess" thing... and in the beginning, we see mentions of the "goddess of daffodils" and the "goddess of peonies".

yet, we never really truly find out what mc's potentially assigned flower was—

the only mention of a flower that we do see, directly related to her, is when the little kid compliments her hair and places a peach blossom into her basket.

and while i wouldn't know if this means it's her flower or not, but the specific mention of the peach blossom is adorable, because in chinese floriography, the peach blossom represents love.

it's used in a lot of chinese literature and often associated with the arrival of spring—which, "according to the rites of zhou, the middle of spring is a period when men and women fall in love freely." therefore, a lot of chinese literature and poems also allude peach blossoms to romance, being that spring does as well. but, it's also associated with beauty: "after the wei and jin dynasties, beauties were portrayed in a more detailed way with words like taohua mian (peach-blossom-like face) or tao sai (peach-blossom-like cheek)." and there are other things it represents too, like prosperity, growth, and longevity.

when xavier gives mc the hairpin at the end, mc describes it as "pretty and adorned with pink flowers as if they are on a branch", and while not explicitly stated, i do believe that they are also peach blossoms.

whether or not that's the case, and whether or not the peach blossom was mc's flower (or maybe that it's just generally part of the festival), i think it's a really cute detail! i think it perfectly represents their growing relationship, and essentially the beauty with which xavier always sees her~

BUT, MOVING ON.....

v. the wish

the final stretch boils down to this.

"A gentle breeze stirs the wooden plaques hanging from the branches. A faint, melodic sound dances in the air. 'They say a Flower Goddess can bless people's wishes. And if the person making the wish is someone she favors, it's more likely to come true.'"

it's where the kindled moment falls, as xavier proposes for them to make a wish together.

and, mind you, this whole entire scene is ADORABLE AND LIVES RENT FREE IN MY HEAD ... the playfulness between their words, the "if i tell you my wish, it won't come true", the way xavier CARRIES HER??? AND THE WAY HE CATCHES HER WHEN SHE FALLS AND PINS HER AGAINST THE TREE AND AND AND AND.

everytime i think of it i end up keysmashing in my head IT'S JUST SO CUTE i could burn it into my head 😭😭😭😭

but, AHEM, he also says...

"Throughout history, humanity has always made the same wishes. Perhaps it's because those feelings we have... are timeless."

i think it's a really pretty line, but more than how pretty it is, i think it represents xavier perfectly.

xavier has lived long enough, and he's likely also made similar wishes along the way. for mc to be safe, for mc to be happy... things along those lines. and for him to describe that as "timeless" also represents his love for her—because it is timeless. he loves her more than anything else in the world. it transcends space, and time, and anything else; to him, she is love. she is timeless.

it's worth noting that everytime xavier and mc get scenes where they wish together, xavier never really says what his wishes are.

in "when shooting stars fall", mc wishes for many things. for xavier's freedom and happiness, for her to be healthy, for time to stop in their moment together... for xavier's freedom, xavier's happiness, and, in her final moments—"i wish to meet you in my next life." but he's never said explicitly what he wished for at all.

in "warm wishes", mc also mentions a lot of wishes:

"I wished I could pass all my tests with flying colors and go to a good university. I wished for Grandma to be healthy. I wished for my neighbor's cat to come home..."

and her actual wish that night was:

"l wish.... everyone can have snowflakes fall on their shoulders when they're lonely, and see the stars when they're lost."

yet that night, xavier didn't make a wish. he explicitly stated:

"l didn't make a wish. I want to save my wish for when I need it the most. Plus, everything I want right now has come true."

...but this time is different.

he did make a wish.

and, this time around, he specified what it is.

"I wish I can be your sanctuary until the end of time, in your eyes."

this is a wish that's important to him. he chooses to make this wish, and he chooses to tell her about it.

there's a lot to dissect in just one statement alone, because it's so imbued into the xavier that's loved her for thousands of years.... the xavier that has grown and developed into who he is in this moment.

a sanctuary is a place of refuge and protection; a place of safety. a place of comfort. a place of rest.

and multiple times throughout this card, it highlights how xavier has been able to offer mc a certain sense of comfort. even right when the results are announced, one look at him calms her down—this part really got me.

"I glance nervously at Xavier. He makes eye contact with me, and his gaze conveys a steadfast reassurance."

it's a recurring theme in the card—comfort. peace. the peace that you can find in someone. the safety that you can find in someone. in this case, mc with xavier, and vice versa.

...and i've always associated xavier with comfort, but peace and safety have been attributes i've been hesitant to associate with him, because it's different. for you to feel safe with someone, for you to feel at peace with someone, they need to communicate, as well, a certain sense of steadfast reassurance. xavier has always been soft and comfortable, but he hasn't always exuded that steadfast type of aura.

i think that this is something that he himself realizes.

i've mentioned it before, but his wish is also a direct parallel to That Line from lightseeking obsession.

"You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me."

yet there's also a striking difference.

what is different?

the person that he's developed into.

prince xavier, lightseeker xavier—as i mentioned earlier, there's a certain kind of confidence in himself that isn't present, and it shows. i would argue that he was at his most vulnerable that time, likely more vulnerable than when they first landed on earth, because he didn't know how to treat his relationships at all. he was too bound by the confines of what everyone, and i mean everyone, including mc at the time, wanted him to be. there was never clear communication with anyone, and it mostly seems as if he's been going through the motions—as opposed to more freedom that he's been granted on earth.

and it shows, because, that line in lightseeking obsession—does not exude confidence.

it's a comforting statement, sure...

but it's not even something that mc herself believes.

"you always lie."

it's as if xavier, as much as he's trying to comfort mc, is trying to reassure himself, too—he tries too hard to make himself appear reassuring to her that it falls short, all this on top of the times that she feels she's been let down by him.

it's ironic, almost. he says such a bold declaration despite knowing that there's a chance he wouldn't be able to keep it.

but this is different.

this time, xavier has grown to he sure of who he is and who he wants.

he said it in 21 days—"every version of me belongs to you, and only you."

yet despite the confidence that he now has in himself, notice how different this is to lightseeker's line—

he's wishing.

and he specifies that he wants it to be true in her eyes.

it's as if he's saying, i'm not sure if this is what you think about me, but i do know that i want it to be what you think about me.

he's not reassuring her; he's not making a bold declaration. he's not saying, you will think of me as a sanctuary. neither is he saying, i will be your sanctuary.

he's saying, i want to be your sanctuary.

the final decision falls to her.

the confidence lies in stating what he wants, and there's no fear in it—there's no hesitation, nothing that implies that he's scared to say it. he's confident in what he says, and either confident that she'll accept it, or confident that no matter what her choice is in the matter it's okay.

that's why this wish is so strong.

and it's mc who then says, at the end;

"I wanted to tell you that your wishes will always come true."

because she reciprocates.

and this whole moment, everything that happens from hereon—the results, the hairpin...

—"'If you meet a Flower Goddess you like, give her fresh flowers. It's a local custom here. But there are many people who admire you, and all of them have given you flowers. My flower wouldn't be special enough. So, I made a flower hairpin. This is the first time I made one, though. Don't judge it too harshly.'"

—"Xavier's hand is warm. Like petals being carried on the wind, his smile descends and touches my heart. 'What makes you say that? It's amazing. Besides, even if you just gave me flowers, they'd be the most special ones l've ever received.'"

it's worth noting that the scene where xavier gives the hairpin is also very much the same way he makes the wish. he does admit that he doesn't know if she'd appreciate flowers—but he takes it a step forward. he knows he wants to be extra special, he knows he wants her to have something she'll remember, so he does something different. he makes, and gives her, a flower hairpin. of his own accord.

it doesn't stop at his insecurities, which he still has—he takes those insecurities and spins them into something he can be sure of himself.

and there it is again.

the steadfast reassurance.

and it's what makes the moment so much more memorable to mc, so much more meaningful.

and it's why, then, he can say things like this:

"No matter what happens, I'm always blessed to have someone by my side, who makes my gaze never feel alone."

"Forever is but a collection of moments strung together. With every minute comes another, second after second. When I open my eyes again, I want you to still be by my side."

it's in a way wherein xavier is able to take some lead in their relationship, because he's more sure of himself this time. and it progresses their relationship in a way that it wouldn't have if he never learned—he's learning. he's growing. and he's really truly turning out to be someone that can love with his whole heart, without holding back.

i think this card showcases that the most, and maybe that's why i love it so much <3

ALSO, P.S., ONE MORE PARALLEL—

xavier says that the flowers are blooming beautifully this season—"it smells like spring". in his lightseeker myth, he says: "With spring's arrival, hope is soon to follow."

and its just a neat lil thing, i think <3 spring is always so closely associated with xavier, and the card really does end on such a light and hopeful note.