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#holy shit its been 2 years since the channel died
s0up1ta · 1 year
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this screencap was life changing
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@crankgameplays
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ultimatestellar · 11 months
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wait i don't go here but what's the context behind a season suddenly getting noncanon'd .. i am interested
NO WORRIES BRO ITS A BATSHIT THING TO DO. heres how i understand it!!
(i promise it’s not actually that long, i’m just providing the read more for scrolling purposes)
the cpucs is a series made by a (at the time) gaming youtuber named alpharad and his friends. its made by pitting super smash bros cpus against each other and then commentating over it like its a real smash bros tournament. a good setup for improv comedy since the results you get are essentially random.
3 seasons of this later, they’d somehow created an overarching story for the whole series. in the season 3 finale multiple characters died, long-running character arcs ended, and it was the epitome of emotional payoff. genuinely beautiful. when alpharad and his friends stopped filming they were fucking flabbergasted that they’d created something so meaningful on accident.
after season 3 alpharad was like “well holy shit this is amazing there’s no way we’re gonna stop doing this.” so he and his friends put their whole alphussy into season 4 of the cpucs. like an entire ARG, a shit ton of worldbuilding, heavily expanded character arcs, and its own anime-style opening. they went APESHIT.
unfortunately after doing this for years, that thing known as Burnout started to creep up on them. every episode took a ridiculous amount of work to produce and they were releasing episodes weekly. according to alpharad, season 4 was “okay”. many plot points that they’d planned out didn’t fit well with the random results they got. at this point it wasnt just a silly haha improv comedy series to them anymore. they felt the cpucs had lost it’s magic.
thanks to being so unsatisfied with how season 4 went, and to the extreme burnout, the cpucs was cancelled entirely. there were 1-2 more planned seasons that will never happen. the internet is still unfortunately the internet. the creators of the cpucs were constantly harassed to continue the show for the next year. alpharad committed himself to making the content that he wanted to make, not whatever the audience was pressuring him for.
fast forward a few more years to Now, a friend of his offhandedly brought up the cpucs in a second-channel video. they laughed about it together for a bit, and the conversation turned to the cpucs as a whole. alpharad admitted he wished he never made season 4. it had caused them far more harm than good. a bit of discussion about this lead to, and i quote, “you know what? i’m gonna say it. i’m gonna pull that thing. i’m gonna de-canonize season 4.”
so now everything after season 3 is non-canon, including ALL THE SHIT they did for season 4. the ARG, the worldbuilding, the expanded character arcs, all of it. after everything alpharad and his friends went through for the cpucs it is completely understandable, but this does unfortunately take out like. half the story in the entire series. including my favorite character of all-time, naomi, who was the focus of the ARG.
i refuse to take this personally. that being said though… the other people who have been hyperfixating on this series and its lore for the last 5 years were left with no choice but to jump ship and abandon canon.
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lilysdaydreams · 4 years
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Praise Bingus (No fucking way)
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→  I do not claim to know corpse- therefore please don't think that this is what he would actually act like, or that any details about his life are actually true. this is fiction.
→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X Fem!Reader
→ Genre: Angst and fluff. (FLUFF IS COMING I SWEAR)
→ Words: 3.9k
→ In a world where everyone is born with a mark on their wrist, two souls come together over the power of bingus.
→ (this isnt crack lol)
→ Warnings: Lots of swearing, um self-depreciation? rejection (kinda) and negative thoughts overall. Sorry im new to warnings.
→ Authors Note: this is the first time im doing like angst so please tell me if I did well? Um also, I’ve already started on the part 2 so keep your eyes out for that. If you wanna be tagged for part two please comment and lemme know. Also check out my other fics if you want!
→ Buy me a coffee
Part two  →    
~~~
Soulmates were a phenomenon. They'd been there for ages, drawn into the Egyptian tomb paintings, seen in the cave paintings from millions of years ago, talked about in stories passed down from generation to generation. They could be matching drawings, first words, names; all black before the soulmates met and turning gold the moment they talked to each other. There wasn't a scientist in the world who could explain the phenomenon.
You'd received your mark at birth just like everyone else, a sentence running around your wrist,
"No fucking way."
Your parents weren't that happy when you asked at the age of 4 what "fucking" meant but it wasn't that bad. You were happy that you had something unique, something other than the "Hi," or "Excuse me," that was on every other arm.
When you were 13, a little girl on the train pointed to your wrist and asked her mom what it meant. Ever since then, you'd taken to wearing bracelets over it. This had turned out to be a good idea because a few years later you started making Youtube videos. At the age of 16, you started a Youtube channel where you focused on a variety of things; makeup, fashion, games, art, skits and a whole lot more.
At the age of 20, you had a steady following of a little more than a million subscribers, and you had moved to LA to be closer to all your Youtube friends. You hadn't just grown on Youtube, you'd also started a lot of side projects. You were known for the art that you did on the side, along with the makeup palette you'd come out with a year ago. Soon you were planning to release a merch collection, one that you had been working on for a whole year now.
You hadn't met your soulmate at this point but honestly, you didn't really mind. Balancing Youtube and study (along with all your other side projects) was hard. There was no need to add the struggle of love into it... Or that's what you told yourself anyways.
There were days though, days where you wished you had someone to hug, someone to cuddle in bed with, someone to go on long walks with. You didn't let yourself wallow on it that long though. Crying about it was gonna do absolutely nothing.
It started on a rainy day. The story of you and him. You were editing your soon to be uploaded video, an e-girl outfits lookbook, which had been requested by your followers. Your personal style was all over the place and your previous soft girl and cottage care look books had done well, so you decided to continue the series.
You eyes blurred as you looked at the same point of the video, and you sighed, removing your glasses and rubbing your eyes. Your editor was sick and had let you know that they wouldn't be able to edit it by the deadline so here you were, editing it yourself. You stretched in your chair letting out a yawn. You were contemplating on whether to make coffee or not when your phone pinged.
"Nooooo" you whined when you noticed it was on the coffee table that was just a little out of your reach. Stretching your foot out, you tried to grab it between your toes and then sighed when the phone fell.
"I have zero luck, I swear" you muttered to yourself, bending to pick up the phone.
The text was from Rae, asking you to join a game of Among Us. You and Rae had been friends for a bit now, which all started when she came across your art and decided to order something from you. You had chatted and clicked immediately, immediately becoming fast friends. Ever since the lockdown started, she often asked you to join in on Among us games and your friendship had really grown over these past few months.
You sent a quick "sure!" and then went to your table, waiting for the PC to turn on. Quickly tweeting out that you were streaming, you opened up Youtube and turned on the stream, saying a quick hello and letting them know what you'd be doing.
"Rae just invited me guys, I don't really know who's there," you mumbled, replying to a comment asking you who you were playing with.
You squinted your eyes, joining the voice chat and then opening your phone camera to quickly check that you didn't look horrible. Sure you didn't really care about how you looked but it was always good to check that you didn't have anything stuck between your teeth before you turned on the camera.
There was already a conversation going on, between who you thought was Corpse and Sykkuno, judging by their voices.
"Yeah I could totally do that. Get a cat and name it Bingus. I wonder if th-"
You gasped when you heard what they were talking about and unmuted yourself immediately yelling "PRAISE LORD BINGUS" and effectively shocking everyone in the chat.
A moment of silence and then Rae yelled: "OH MY FUCKING GOD Y/N, YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME."
You giggled as everyone groaned and whined, saying hi as they realised who it was. You had played with Sykkuno and the others a few times before but you'd never met Corpse before. You'd heard his voice though, as he was trending on twitter constantly over the past few weeks. Once they all quietened down, you realised Corpse hadn't said anything. Since you knew everyone else in the lobby, you introduced yourself, wondering if you'd scared him a bit too hard.
"Hey Corpse, I'm Y/N from Y/C/N, its so nice to finally meet you," you said gritting your teeth at you awkward introduction. For a second there was no response and then three words were said that made your jaw drop to the floor.
"No fucking way"
He had whispered it, obviously still in shock, and your eyes widened in surprise as a tingle spread all over your body. So this was what everyone meant by "you'll just know," when you asked them about how you would recognize your soulmate.
"Holy shit" you thought frozen in your seat.
Never had you been more glad that you hadn't turned the camera on yet.
"Uhhhh-" you started, but stopped now knowing what to say.
What the fuck were you supposed to do now.
"Wha- Whats wrong?" Rae asked after a moment passed.
Corpse cleared his throat and started "Its um, shes my -" and you cut him off, heart beating in your chest.
"Nothing. Its nothing." you said talking over him. "Who else are we waiting for Rae?" you asked joining the lobby quickly and choosing red as your colour.
"Uh one more person," she said slowly, still a bit confused.
"Oh awesome!" you said fake enthusiasm prevalent in your voice. "So Sykkuno," you started, wanting to keep the conversation going. "How's Bimbus doing?"
Sykkuno launched into a story of Bimbus and you blew out a sigh of relief, mind still numb over the revelation.
Corpse was your soulmate.
The guy who had literally went viral the past few weeks was your soulmate.
You'd finally found him.
You heard Rae cut Sykkuno off, telling everyone she was starting the game and muttered a "Thank god" when the words "CREWMATE" appeared on your screen. You would not have been able to play imposter at the moment, your mind pretty much stuck on the fact that Corpse was your fucking soulmate.
Heading down to admin, you realised you hadn't said anything yet to the stream so you quickly turned on your cam, saying a quick sorry to the viewers.
"Sorry guys, I forgot to put the camera on," you smiled focusing on card swipe.
"I hope everyone's been okay, I know this was quite sudden, but Rae invited me and I was like why not you know," you said rambling as you moved to comms and did the task there.
Lights were called and you moved to electrical, arriving there just as Leslie fixed them. You moved into the back of electrical doing the three tasks you had there when Sykkuno suddenly came in and went straight to standing on top of the vent.
You giggled already knowing his trick.
"Okay guys," you mumbled watching Sykkuno wiggle on the vent. "do we trust Sykkuno or not?"
"You know what," you said making a split second decision. "Its the first game, we might as well."
Joining him on the vent, you stilled for a second and then breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't automatically kill you.
"See, what did I tell you guys huh?" you question smiling straight at the camera. "I knew Sykkuno could be trusted."
You decided to follow Sykkuno going into reactor with him and starting 'Simon says' and just as you were on the last part, a body was found making you let a whine out.
"Guysss," you whined to the camera as Rae started talking about how she had found Daves body in admin.
"Um, I havent been in admin since the start of the game," you said, "also I can clear Sykkuno, for the last part of the round, he's been with me since lights went out."
Sykkuno confirmed it, "Yup that's right, also I can hard clear Y/N cuz guess what? She stood on the vent with me and none of us died."
Everyone chuckled as he said "Thats good enough for me."
"Uh, I was in navigation mostly." said Lily.
"Poki, can I just ask what you were doing?" said Sean, an undercurrent of mirth present.
"Me?" asked Poki speaking for the first time. "What was I doing?"
"You weren't doing any tasks, you were literally just walking from one side of medbay to the other when I peeked in."
Poki started laughing, trying to get her words out at the same time.
"Okay so-" a giggle. "okay okay- I was just, I was trying to um do the beep test," she said finally breaking down and making everyone else laugh as well.
"What the fuck?" you said, laughing at the image in your mind.
"My chat told me to do it last game so I decided to do it now, I was literally just playing around," she said finally, adding "I swear I'm not imposter" at the end.
"Hmmm," you hummed, bringing a hand up to stroke your chin. "Are you sure it was last game Poki... hm...."
Giggling at Poki indignant "YES it was last game", you quickly skipped voting like everyone else as the timer went into the last ten seconds.
Humming a tune under your breath, you went back to reactor, taking a minute to carefully do Simon says and then moved to the other task counting out one two three as you pressed on the numbers. Humming, you moved out of reactor, only to come face to face with Corpse. You paused for a second, and then moved ahead, refusing to show anything on camera. For some reason he followed you as you went to storage, looking at you while you did the trash.
"Why is he just staring?" you mumbled, biting your lip. God, you really didn't wanna think of him right now. You started walking to shields, him still walking with you when lights were called and not a second later a body was reported.
Suddenly there was screaming your ears as Toast and Rae both started accusing each other.
"Wait- Wait WAIT" yelled Poki trying to get them to stop. "What happened?"
"I'll explain" declared Rae, not letting toast get a word in. "We were in navigation okay, me, Toast and Leslie. Lights went out, and suddenly a report buttons there. It's either Toast or someone came in just as lights went out and killed but that doesn't seem likely because I didn't see anyone anywhere near us at all. Anyways I'm fucking telling the truth guys, its Toast, he's the one who did it."
"Toast, do you have anything to say for yourself?" asked Corpse, his voice making your insides shiver.
"Holy shit, this is my soulmate", you thought for the fiftieth time.
"Uh yeah," replied toast. "I didn't do it."
Everyone laughed as he continued.
"Like seriously, I wouldn't do anything like this because it'd be a stupid move from my own part, and I think Raes smart enough to not do this as well. I think someone else came in just as lights went down and killed immediately, which to be honest, was pretty smart of them."
"Okay so I can clear Corpse," you cut in noticing the timer was close. "he was with me in weapons when it happened, he wouldn't have had time to go all the way up, or even vent there because we were literally walking in."
"Yup that's right," confirmed corpse.
"I'm in cafeteria" said Poki.
"Yeah, I saw her on my way to weapons," said Sykkuno, "and I'm in weapons right now,"
"I'm in lower engine" said Sean, and Lily said she was in reactor.
"I think it's Toast," you mumbled and then rose your voice to talk over everyone. "Look okay fine, maybe he said it was a stupid move and he wouldn't do it but maybe he did it for that exact reason. He thought he could get away with it because no one would expect him to do something like that."
As the timer started going down by 10, you voted for Toast and it turned out 3 had skipped the vote while five had voted for him.
damn.
"Guys you actually voted for him?" you said in a high voice, re-enacting one of Sykkunos most said lines.
You heard a "oh for gods sake" from Rae before everyone went silent and you giggled as you moved back down to weapons to do your tasks.
You finished all your tasks and decided to go to security to check where everyone is. Humming as you moved through the electrical hallway, you narrowed your eyes as Corpse came out of electrical and went towards storage. Quickly ducking in you didn't see a body so you headed back out, going into cams and gasping as you saw the body. Reporting immediately you were shocked to see the four kills that had happened. Now only you, Corpse, Sean and Rae were left.
"Oh my god," you mumbled confused. Either there were still two imposters, and Toast wasn't the imposter or the imposter literally killed and did nothing else. Now either that could mean that its definitely Rae if Toast wasn't the imposter, or that it was Corpse as the only imposter left. That was a bit weird though becuase he could have totally killed you at the start of the game. You didn't suspect Sean at all.
"What the fuck?" mumbled Corpse, and Rae made her animal noises expressing her shock.
"Okay," you said taking charge and relaying the kill and your theory to everyone. "So either it was Toast and there's only one other imposter, who is Corpse. Or Toast wasn't an imposter and there's two of them left. I-" you took a deep breath in at the end, very confused. " I don't know anymore,"
"I think its Corpse as well,"
Corpse who hadn't said anything up till this moment suddenly started stammering out "hey-hey uh let-lets not gang up on me okay. It's not-"
"No, wait, its because Y/N said you came out of electrical right, and I saw you in upper engine literally a bit ago and you went down. I went towards cafeteria so I don't know exactly where you went but its totally possible that you killed."
You voted form him after that, convinced it was Corpse, and the other followed quickly.
"Guys what the fuck, at least give me a chance to explain my self" he whined when his body was thrown off the ship seconds later. You cheered when the "VICTORY" sign was displayed across the screen, bringing up your chat and laughing at Toast as he pretended to be angry at me.
"That was a great round, good work Y/N"
"Thankyou" you mumbled staring at your chat. You were confused when you saw the absolute influx of messages on there, and you were barely able to read them because they were going so fast. You scrolled up, and read through the few of the messages;
"You've made corpse sad."
"Corpse has literally been so quite since you came in, can you leave."
"Omg stop with the hate messages, its not her fault if corpse isn't talking to you"
"are you his ex or something? What was that reaction at the start?"
"what did you do? Corpse literally hasn't said a word since you came in."
"Um..."
Corpse POV
Corpses heart stopped for a minute, his breath catching. The words on his wrist glowed gold, and he stared at the little red character standing there.
This person was the reason that he had "PRAISE BINGUS" stretched across his wrist.
They were the only reason that he had searched "Bingus" on google for all of his life. The only reason Corpse knew about the meme before anyone else was because he was constantly monitoring the word online. Ever since March, he had been waiting with bated breath, anxious that he could meet his soulmate at any moment. and here you were.
For some reason, he had never expected that he would meet you in among us, or while he was on stream. He always thought it'd be someone outside. It was a bit stupid in hindsight as all he did nowadays was play among us.
He heard you introduce yourself to him but the only thing that came out of his mouth was “No fucking way”.
Immediately after he wanted to slap himself.
“Idiot” he thought to himself. “At least try to make a good impression.”
When Rae asked what was wrong, heat sprung to his cheeks as he started revealing that they were soulmates, but Y/N cut him off, saying that it was nothing.
Corpse’s heart sank a little then.
'Maybe she’s just a private person,' he reasoned with himself.
'I shouldn’t have tried to say it on stream either. God, I’m a fucking idiot, if I said it, literally everyone would know and not only would I have hated the attention, she probabaly would have as well.'
Convincing himself that she was right, he reassured himself that it wasn’t because of him. She wasn’t revealing it because she probably didn't want all the attention.
For some reason though, his heart sank even more when Y/N didnt talk to him, instead talking to sykkuno about his dog. Like sure he could understand not wanting to reveal they were soulmates but shouldn’t she at least wanna talk to him? At this point he wouldn’t even mind if she talked about his voice like everyone else.
He groaned when the word "Imposter" came across his screen, his and Toasts character standing together. He was not in the right mindset right now to be able to be a good imposter. Breathing in deeply he continued in the game, with the first round passing by quick. The second round, he saw Y/N and stood with her for a bit wondering if he should kill her. Her red character moved to weapons and he sighed moving the mouse over the kill button. Just as he was thinking of clicking a body was found. Corpse swore as Toast flew off the ship. Deciding he needed to speed it up he killed four people in the round, hissing when the meeting was called. The moment Y/N accused him, he knew it was over. He didn't even bother defending himself much, just hoping the game would end soon.
When they were in the lobby, he quickly told everyone that he was going to leave because his internet was acting up. Turning off the stream after saying a quick thank you to everyone, he leaned back in his seat breathing through his nose.
What the fuck was his life.
Even his soulmate didnt want him. Honestly, he should have expected this. Abandoned at 12 with no one around him, why did his expect his soulmate to even give a fuck about him. Tears pricked his eyes and he blinked trying to get rid of them. He breathed in deeply, grabbing the water on the table and taking a big gulp. He had never hated himself more than he did right now. Why couldnt he have an easier life.
“Why cant I just fucking be NORMAL” he yelled throwing the empty bottle of water at the wall.
Throwing himself into bed, he scrunched up his eyes, hoping that sleep would come today, not noticing as his phone lit up with a single message.
Your POV
You stayed for another game and then ducked out apologizing and making an excuse up.
"Sorry it was such a short stream, everyone," you said pouting at the camera. "It was fun though so hopefully I get to do it again." Waving goodbye, you turned off the camera and leaned your head back staring at the ceiling.
What the actual fuck.
Grabbing your phone, you stared at it for a bit. Everything that you had pushed to the back of your mind in the game, was suddenly in the forefront.
The only thing you knew about Corpse was that he had a really deep voice, he narrated horror movies, and he maybe did music?
'Rae mentioned that once right?' you thought to yourself.
You unlocked the phone and then locked it again, too scared to actually do anything.
Unlocked.
Locked.
Unlocked.
Locked.
"Oh get a grip," you muttered to yourself, opening the phone and sending a text to Rae.
‘Hey Rae, do you have corpses number? Do you mind sending it to me, I need to tell him something.’
A reply came in a minute,
‘umm, why. he's pretty private so idk i don't rlly wanna give his number if he doesn't want someone to have it’
You sighed, and decided you might as well tell her. You knew Rae wouldn't betray your trust.
‘He's my soulmate’
Immediately a ‘AHDJHAKJKAGDAK’ came as a reply and you giggled at the string of emojis after it.
‘Don't tell anyone,’ you sent quickly, trying to calm her down.
‘Okay okay, its XXX - XXX - XXXX, ASHAGDH IM DYING OMG. GO TALK TO HIM.’
Biting your lip you added Corpse into your contacts hesitating before putting a small black heart next to his name.
"Already simping," you mumbled under your breath, hands hovering over the keyboard as you struggled to think of what to write.
You finally decided on 'Hey, its Y/N, can I call?' thinking that something short would be the best way to go. Hand hovering over the send button, you sucked in a breath and pressed it, waiting with bated breath.
A minute passed.
And then five.
And then, without you even you realising, it'd been half an hour of you just looking at your phone.
An hour later, you were slumped on your desk, eyes closed and snoring lightly, the phone still open, the message you sent lighting up the screen.
tbc.
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rivalsforlife · 3 years
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Do you have anything you wished was different from Ace Attorney canon?
Hello I'm finally slowly starting to get around to answering some of these! Sorry for the wait.
Uh this ask got super long so a basic summary of it: narumitsu being canon in a well-written way would be nice even though I don't think it would ever happen, I stand by not bringing back Phoenix as a main protagonist in DD, and I'd also want to rewrite all of SOJ so that Apollo goes to Khura'in in place of Phoenix, to have more interesting character stuff going on.
So the longer answer is this:
Aside from some of the actually problematic stuff that I don't feel qualified to talk about, story-wise, I answered a sort of similar question about a year ago here. I have changed my opinions a little bit since then, particularly with regards to the canonicity of narumitsu... because while I do love narumitsu I feel like I don't trust Ace Attorney to actually do it properly. After all if this past November has taught us anything "making a ship canon" could actually be quite undesirable and I have no desire to see Phoenix and/or Edgeworth sent to superhell. (I literally know nothing else about supernatural sorry about that.)
If capcom were somehow able to make narumitsu canon but in an unobtrusive way and as a natural progression of the storyline, like oh hey, the court record profile for Miles Edgeworth's Obligatory Last-Case Appearance has Phoenix mention they're dating, and maybe there's a few lines suggesting they live with each other, but it's not like... taking the entire story to force them together and otherwise does not change the way they interact with each other and butcher one or both of their characterizations in the process? I'd definitely be happy about that. Not gonna lie even if they made narumitsu canon in the most terrible way possible I'd have a "holy shit I can't believe they did that it's the best day of my life" kind of moment before I could think about it critically. But I honestly see no chance of them ever actually making narumitsu canon, so that's quite unrealistic to hope for anyways.
Aside from that in that other ask I talked about basically the premise of an Apollo trilogy and not bringing back Phoenix as the main protagonist in DD, and I still stand by that, buuut in my other ask I did touch on making SOJ a different game where Apollo goes to Khura'in instead of Phoenix - and you know what I'm going to take some time to actually talk about my dream version of SOJ because there were a lot of little things about the one we got that I didn't like. And it's going to be very long. So it's under a cut.
SO yeah I talked about it a bit in the other ask. I think that Phoenix going to Khura'in is a rather weak idea both externally and in-universe. In one of the interviews, too lazy to find which one, Phoenix basically goes to Khura'in because the writers couldn't figure out how to challenge him anymore. ... And then they don't actually challenge him at all. Because oh well now we're going to this new country where they KILL DEFENSE ATTORNEYS WHO LOSE and then it's supposed to be *shocking* that Phoenix would risk his life for a kid or his best friend. you know the guy who ran across a burning bridge to save his best friend. you know the guy who got punched in the face, nearly killed by the mafia, and tazed trying to save his clients. This doesn't tell me anything new about Phoenix's character. His whole travel in Khura'in doesn't tell me anything new about Phoenix's character. Basically the only reason he's there is to see Maya - Maya who theoretically would be returning home in about two weeks. Maya who was still in her training for two more weeks when Phoenix visited so he wouldn't be able to see her anyways. ... And in the meantime Trucy had the biggest show of her life that was going to be on TV and Phoenix wasn't there for it. And of course Phoenix didn't return home after Trucy was accused of murder (yes he couldn't be there for the trial, but he definitely could have for the emotional support afterwards) and instead just sits for two weeks in Khura'in doing literally nothing after Ahlbi's trial.
(And yes I know about the anime prologue that has Phoenix think Maya's in danger... but that's not strictly canon since it's never mentioned in game, isn't technically a part of the game, and even still, why wouldn't he go home after knowing that Maya's safe and that Trucy had been ACCUSED OF MURDER. Honestly that's what makes me angriest about this whole thing is that it makes Phoenix out to be a terrible dad. We really don't need any more takes like that, especially not from canon.)
And what about Apollo, you may ask? Well, given case 5 of SOJ, Apollo actually has a personal link to Khura'in and ends up staying there afterwards... after being there for like a day or two. I should note here that it has been a while since I went through SOJ in its entirety so I am fuzzy on many of the details. But both through what I remember and some conversations with people who actually played the game recently, the motivation for Apollo to actually stay in Khura'in isn't that great. It mainly seemed like guilt about his dead dad who he hadn't been in contact with for years and had completely written off until a few days ago but oh he died and then went to go visit him so... better take up the law office!
If Apollo had gone to Khura'in in place of Phoenix and spent more time there, reconnecting with his childhood home and actually getting passionate seeing how corrupt the legal system is there (even though we have a corrupt legal system at home) and being driven to fix it, that would make for a stronger story, I think. The Khura'in plot is more personally focused around Apollo than it is Phoenix. Phoenix's connection to Khura'in is through Maya, but Maya doesn't really have much of a connection to it aside from "it's where spirit channeling is from and she trains there". But Apollo, I guess, grew up there. So it's so strange to me that they force all of Apollo's connection to Khura'in in the last case while Phoenix is running around doing who-knows-what for the rest of the game. Phoenix spends more time getting to know the state of Khura'in and the Defiant Dragons and case 3's whole thing but he isn't the one who in the end decides to sit down and fix it; that's all on Apollo. It almost feels like they forced one of the two plots in to everything. And it was probably conceived as a Phoenix story that they needed to fit Apollo into last minute because oops he's supposed to be a protagonist too.
Some other strengths to Apollo going to Khura'in include that it would shake up the character dynamics a bit. Instead of Phoenix defending Maya, it's Apollo defending Maya, and that's a particularly interesting thing to look at in the context of Khura'in's "we kill defense attorneys" system. Of course, Phoenix would risk his life to save Maya, 100%, every time. But what about Apollo, who hasn't met Maya, who only knows her as "Mr. Wright's former assistant" - would he risk his life for her? And I feel like Maya would argue more against him defending her because of that. "We're strangers, you don't know me, you don't have to risk your life defending me." (Sidenote that I was always upset that Maya didn't protest much when Phoenix offered to defend her, knowing his life was at risk - sure she knows him better and knows he's always been able to get her out of these situations, but at the same time, the fact that there was no "what about your daughter?" conversation sucks. I really wish SOJ wouldn't have like. completely forgotten about the phoenix-trucy father-daughterisms.)
Let's say Apollo goes to Khura'in. Phoenix stays at home. Phoenix gets a call from Apollo that's basically "uhh hi Mr. Wright you know your friend Maya, she's been arrested for murder, if I defend her and I lose we're both dead," then you can tie in to that moment in 6-2 where Phoenix (who can't make it in time for the trial!) believes in Apollo and his skills as an attorney, not just to save Maya's life, but also his own. It ties in a bit more to the overall challenge of defending someone at the risk of your own life. Again, Phoenix would have very few hesitations, if any, risking his life to defend Maya. Apollo may have more defending a stranger at the risk of his own life.
Then if you can actually have Apollo and Maya talk together that would be neat - Maya can tell him embarrassing stories about Phoenix's rookie days, for instance. Their dynamic would be quite a bit different from Phoenix and Maya's, and that would be an interesting thing to see, unlike what we have in SOJ where all of Maya's substantial interactions are with characters she already knows or brand new characters.
(It would also be pretty neat to know more spirit channeling politics and dive in more to Maya's perspective on Khura'in and also her role as upcoming Master of the Kurain Channeling Technique and where she plans to lead the village in the future and also reconcile with her family's bloody legacy, but I'm not quite sure how to fit that in right now.)
And how about Phoenix, back home in Japanifornia? Evidently he'd end up being in charge of defending Trucy. Now, I did love the siblingsisms in canon 6-2, but I feel like there is still potential for Phoenix defending Trucy. All of Apollo Justice has a bunch of good moments between Apollo and Trucy, and she's co-counsel on all his trials, but we've never had any substantial Phoenix and Trucy investigation or co-counsel moments. I feel like AU 6-2 would be a great opportunity to dive more into Phoenix and Trucy's relationship and how it may have changed after Phoenix got his badge back. Plus, Phoenix being "the only one who knows how she really feels on the inside", he'd have unique insider knowledge into some of the Gramarye stuff that comes up in the case and Trucy's personal connection to the Gramaryes, which Apollo knows a bit of, but Phoenix knows more of. ... Or at least, should know more of, given that he raised Trucy for nine years at this point and they're very close, and Phoenix knows her better than anyone else does, even if capcom has forgotten this.
... Of course having Athena defend the case would also be great because more Athena spotlight is never a bad thing, but it's hard to come up with a reason why Phoenix wouldn't be there to defend her. And doing more switcheroos in terms of role in the plot is a bit beyond the scope of what I have in mind right now. Sorry Athena.
Aside from that, Athena still gets Storyteller, Apollo still heads Turnabout Revolution, and Phoenix still gets the DLC case. Apollo stays in Khura'in in the end with a bit more to his motivations. Rather than it just being about carrying on Dhurke's legacy, it's also something Apollo is passionate about after all he witnessed here. While we're at it I'd still rework a lot of Turnabout Revolution to make it so that Phoenix genuinely believes in Atishon because that makes for sooo much more interesting of a plot and actual character development on Phoenix's part than "Maya was kidnapped again and Phoenix is only wrong when he has no other choice", but that'd require some more detail and this post is long enough already.
And in terms of other details that need to be sorted out, there's the question of why Apollo would need to go to Khura'in in the first place. I'd probably say something to do with Dhurke. Maybe he comes back a bit earlier - actually alive, maybe, though crossing borders would be a bit of a challenge, or he reaches out to Apollo remotely somehow and Apollo goes to yell in his face about abandoning him (or at least that's what he thinks he wants.) Then we could have some more Dhurke and Apollo bonding time, potentially? Idk, if you switch up Phoenix and Apollo you're pretty much writing a whole new game and obviously I have not worked out all the details, but I think if Capcom had tried to go with this route from the outset they'd have a stronger game. At least stronger character motivations.
So... yeah. Those are my opinions. If you read through this whole thing I'm very impressed because it got very long!
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Infected/Undead Boyfriend
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Warning: some language and fluff.
Part 2  -  Part 3 (FINALE)
When It Rains, It Pours
It always rains in January-- or was it February? It didn't matter, it had been a long time since you remembered, and you didn't care. It wasn't a problem for you in fact: what was a problem for you was how you were going to get out of the city without being taken out first.
The city was swarming with infected since the beginning; when the world had gone to rot.
You had been attempting since day one to get out, but the military had been doing its damn best in containing the population through fear and control. They kept the those from coming in and from leaving, practically blocking you all in like cattle from the very start.
The military was eventually taken out, leaving their cells and high walls that were impossible to pass. And it wasn't just the living that had been out of control; the dead were rare but they were rising daily – it didn't matter how you died, they returned stronger and in larger herds; carving their way through the city with little care.
It had been three years since you had heard from your relatives: from your uncle and cousins who had been living outside of your city and had found a refuge to live in. They assured you a safe place to stay when you escaped, but you had last heard from them three months ago; the signal dying.
It was risky, but you needed supplies, and gaining them not just for yourself but for your radio was to help you get out quicker. You weren't going to rot alive inside these walls, no matter how few humans and dead remained.
The supplies were growing scarce, the food dwindling: your fears of starving to death seemed to be the worst way to go out, but you wanted to endure and live, but raiding shops for food was difficult.
The sky was gloomy and bleak when you had been caught by oncoming dead, their swarm had surprised you in the back of a building, where they had been twistedly been locked away for someone like you to run into on purpose.
The many corridors chasms seemed to get deeper and deeper the further you ran in, the less hope you had for getting out when you were certain you would be dead. It was only with a certain gap between the floors had given you a chance to get away only for the very weak floor you had been standing on to collapse beneath you, sweeping you with it to hit the very pit that welcomed you and not very much else.
Your head was pounding, a soaring ache in your sides from how you had fallen had gotten you whimpering and groaning in discomfort and fear: the darkening walls had been slicked so sinisterly that it was impossible to see what could be lurking within the shadows.
When your trembling hands came to touch at your head, there was a slick pool of something falling into your sight, like water heavily, it dampened the front of your face to make you look as if you were wearing a crimson mask.
There was a scuffle of shoes, a groan of the floorboards as something lurched within the dimness that came from the right side of you, and in your short time to respond or react and with your blinded sight that was washing over your vision quickly, you had clumsily pulled out your knife just as you saw the figure stumble out from behind a fallen cabinet.
You reacted loudly, grunting and swinging as you defended yourself pitifully, the figure had kicked the knife out of your hand almost too precisely, the clatter of it hitting the concrete ground brought your attention that you had no case of surviving.
The figure loomed over you momentarily: your bleeding head made it difficult to see when you were trying to stay focused and alert, your head was drubbing with thrums that came every passing second, screaming for rest, with your hands still scrambling before you finally whimpered before you had collapsed fully; your fall not as hard as you had predicted.
There had been light pouring through the small opening when you had come back around: the slow movements that came from not too far to you made you aware that you had been taken out by someone; someone had dragged your unconscious body out from that dreaded Hell.
There was a tentative hand at your forehead, feeling at your temperature, before their touch came to lift individually each eyelid, earning a low groan from you each time. You were alive – for now.
Your eyes had adjusted to the brightness that shouldn't have been coming so early in the day—no not during this month, it always rained. You pondered, your eyes had fallen on the figure beside you, momentarily stunned before your body had kicked yourself free from their grasp, and for you found yourself falling back against the iron wall.
When your unsteady eyes had fallen over their silhouette, you would've been certain that they had been dead. There could've been something human over their shape and how they stayed squat in the same position from nurturing you prior, but you couldn't lay why their appearance didn't look right.
Maybe it was their skin: it was milky and ashen, their hands were darkened and reddened around the knuckles and fingernails and you had assumed they had been wearing gloves, but their nails were peeling and uneven, wild to the fault.
Their—he – you were unsure how to describe them at first, they had masculine features, but you didn't know whether to describe this person in front of you as a human or the glimmer of an apparition.
Your eyes wandered past his wan face, his dark hair was chin-length, thrown messily up with strands that had fallen out and hanging over his deep-set eyes. His eyes—oh, God – the eyes were maybe the most human thing. They held more than just the husk of a shell of a human once. They were alive and conscious even when they had looked so unresponsive from afar.
He observed you carefully, his body language told you that he wasn't like any other infected creature you had dealt with in the many years since the outbreak, he was nothing like them- no, he was still aware of everything going on around him as if he was not one of them at all.
You didn't realise that the two of you had been staring at one another for quite some time, neither one speaking nor reacting in any way, but he watched, being aware of what you did or how you moved, making sure you didn't do anything that would harm him; his angular features told you so.
"Holy fucking shit, how—I-" Your words were stiff in your mouth, like hardened honey everything had solidified in your throat, leaving you just as lifeless as the infected. He had remained in his spot, rigid and hesitant in your language, but he didn't seem reluctant, as, from his jacket pocket, he was pulling something out, some granola bars and a can of dried beans.
He slowly slid them across the hardware floor, the can hit the sole of your sneaker, the granola bars he held up as a peace offering for you to take, all whilst you stared at him in what you could describe as disbelief.
"I- Where'd you find these?" You picked up the can and gave it a gentle rattle; they seemed decent still. He pointed to behind you, and from your view from behind, you never noticed that the two of you were secluded in an area that had a high spot that allowed you to onlook the entire city. It was nothing perfect, but you could tell that he had done a lot in keeping the area cut off with the desks and chairs barred up against the doors. From here, you could even see the deserted block you had been staying in for the last few weeks.
When you had turned back to him, he was standing, now a little closer to you, his hand outstretched with the food. "You got this for me?" You asked, warily taking it from his grip before stuffing the items into your pockets. You could get back to your place before the day ended if you were lucky; with hopes of finally finalising what you needed finishing.
He nodded, and you understood that there was now something of him conscious that was still alive and living: he was infected but not as dead as you had assumed.
"I need to get out of here, I need to get back to my place before it gets too dark." You found it troubling to think of the right words and whether he would say yes. "Will you help me get out of here?"
He didn't have much on him, but he had grabbed at your backpack and handed it to you, and already you knew his silent gestures was him saying yes. It was all that was needed to get you out quicker.
You and your... your new friend had left and travelled east through the stilled avenues and lonely desolate streets, the infected man lingering not too far behind you but close around if you needed help.
When you finally arrived in your place it was eerily tranquil, the sky had reached a calming picture of calmness over the horizon from your barricaded window, the dim light flooding through as you threw your bag to the couch you had been sleeping on; the half-dead, half-living man remaining close by in your closed doorway.
You made your way to your stationed radio, finalising the parts of bolts and wires that you finally had with you, twisting, tinkering and pushing buttons you had to learn in knowing, before finally turning on the HAM radio to be greeted with distorted and unruly squeaks and shrieks of the channels.
Behind you, the undead man grunted, covering his ears, a haunting cry that came from him threw you off as you looked back on him, quickly quieting the sound as you turned through the signals quicker, quieting the static.
"Come on, this gotta work." You gritted your teeth, trying again and again, "Hello? Is anyone out there? Are there any survivors?" You repeated the questions, nothing but your own voice ringing out and dying along with the signal.
Your eyebrows furrowed, slapping the side of the radio, your cheeks burning. "No! Come on! I have everything for it to fucking work, why isn't it working?" You let out your pent up feelings on the old thing, shoving it away as if the sight of it would make you feel better. It didn't.
An unexpected hand came to rest on the back of your shoulder, your body stiffening with your head twisting to look up from your kneeling spot, the male behind you. From his close-up, you could see his face so clearly, the skin had broken into a state of decay: with veins protruding along his round cheeks.
His eyes weren't as dark now that you saw them so closely, they were brown, and a lovely shade too. His eyes had broken blood vessels in his sclera but there was clearly still something so sympathetic that was in the surface.
So alive, but he's trapped in a dying body.
It startled you for a moment when his hand gingerly came to hesitate inches from your face. You didn't back away, inquisitive rather than cautious as to what he was going to do, his eyes looking back and forth over your face before he reached forth, the back of his ashen fingers collecting a just-to-fall teardrop from the corner of your eye.
"Oh, thanks." Your body came to wipe at the unwanted tears, looking away from him momentarily as you looked around your small haven. 
"You can uh, I don't know if you wanna stay for a bit?" You suggested to him, watching in your peripheral that he had moved away, and had gone to move towards your window, looking out. You stood yourself, looking to him finally before going to the bathroom, shutting the door and deciding to have a shower to calm down.
When you had finally emerged out, it was now dark finally, and your stomach hadn't settled, the need to eat was making you not think properly. That had to be the real reason. You found the male in the small spot on the wide windowsill, his head and body slouched, eyes shut as he peacefully slept.
Rummaging in your bag had woken him from however long he had been sleeping for, his eyes blinked in and out as they finally landed on you, and you came over to sit opposite him on the sill, watching the empty world outside.
“Want one?" You held one of the granola bars out to him, but he had shaken his head. He doesn't eat, but does he eat... humans?
You chewed nonchalantly on the brittle bar, the dryness was unbearable but it was still decent to eat regardless of how stale it had been. When you had finished your bar, he was still looking at you, as if reading you as best as he could. Not many people do that, but he isn't exactly... normal.
"How long have you been here for?" You asked once the granola was out of your teeth, and the male beside you gave a sign with his darkened fingers as he held them up for you to see. Three. "Three years?" You asked and he had nodded.
"How did... how did you turn?" Your voice was oddly quiet when you had asked him, uncertain.
He didn't seem so sure by your question and how to answer it, but he gave a short answer by the gesture that you could only guess was what he meant. Bitten. "But you didn't... you're not like them. The infected."
His face had given a small smile since your meeting, and it made you wonder how his laugh would sound. You could only hope you would see him smile again. It quickly fell from his face as if it had never been there, to begin with. No. He shook his head. "That's good," you reassured with relief, "you did scare me when I fell through the ceiling."
He gave a silent laugh, his eyes vivid. Sorry. He gestured, his motions tender when his hand came to rest on your knee, squeezing softly. The act itself didn't disgust you nor did you pull away, the mere feel of a person's touch was soothing.
The two of you spoke as best as you could (he found communicating hard and he didn't speak) and by the time early morning had come, you had found yourself lying on the sofa with his folded up jacket beneath your head as a pillow, with no sign of him at all.
You felt a bit gutted that he had left before you had a chance to see him leave; maybe he didn't want to hurt you or risk getting him harmed. You told yourself, but when you heard the soft twisting of your doorknob being opened, you kicked into overdrive, your knife in hand as you hid along the wall so you weren't seen.
You had lunged forward before the person had seen you, your wrist had been caught before you could harm them, those brown eyes were widened and fearful of the situation, but his grip had lessened, as if ready if you wanted to plunge your knife into his colourless flesh.
"I'm sorry," You pulled away quickly, putting your knife away as you led him inside and shut the door, "I didn't know it was you."
Sorry. He had gestured sheepishly, handing you the bag that he had over his shoulder. You took it from him as you opened it up, pulling out the many items he had found. Your eyes were wide, a closed-mouth smile had lit up on your face. "Where'd you find all this?"
He didn't answer you, to begin with, but he had guided you, pointing out towards the cluster of shops that weren't too far from you. How he managed to find all this secret food was amazing, and you didn't know how he did it. "You didn't have to do this for me, you know." You said in an inquisitive tone.
He shook his head, making sure you kept hold of the can as he kept his hand around yours. It's yours. His eyes told you for a fact that he wanted you to have it, and you couldn't turn that away.
You spent the next few days hidden away in your shelter, with enough food that could keep you going, whilst your new friend had been there to go in and out and find necessary things and food if you needed it.
He had been gone like most of the mornings by the time you had woken up, the only thing that you had from him was his jacket, and the smell of rainfall was comforting when you smelt the leather. You had sat up and stretched your bones, finding something small that had fallen from his pocket.
Picking it up, you recognised it as a driver's license, the faded words and photo had caught your interest, your eyes peering back to the door as you had looked over the photo ID tentatively. The face had been oddly familiar to you, their facial features were fuller and healthier, a chiselled jaw and those eyes you could only describe as lifelike.
Your eyes drifted to the name found just below the picture, the name you didn't think you would find:
RYAN CHEN
You had just about heard the front door twist slowly open once more, the adrenaline was quick to make you panic, quickly throwing the ID card underneath his jacket, before slipping into the bathroom before he entered the room.
You had another shower and had opened the door to see him sat on the couch, staring off into space as if he was deep in thought. He didn’t seem to even sense you there. Your hands were shaking when you finally called to him after staring. “Ryan.”
You didn’t think he would react to the name being said aloud, but his head turned so quickly to look back on you, you feared he had gotten whiplash. It wasn’t long before he was standing in front of you, his eyes were so blown with fear that you could feel it radiate it off of him. A hand came to cradle the side of your face with a tenderness that it had made you flinch. “Is that your name?” You questioned softly.
He seemed to be fighting two sides in his mind, but it was more than an astounded you when he said, “Yes.” His voice was a soft timbre, mixed with hoarseness that almost made you back up from him in awe. “You can talk?” Your voice was gravelly, leaning into his touch against the side of your face.
“Sometimes,” he drawled thoughtfully, “it’s… been a while.”
The more you looked up at him, the more you saw the features that looked similar to what he had looked like on his ID, he was still there, and now, Ryan had an identity that hadn't been lost forever.
“Did you hide your ID from me? Or… did you want me to find it?”
“I wasn’t sure. It had been a long time since I had identified as him.” He said with a gentle doubt. “But I wanted you to know.” “You saved me that day,” you leant into the musky scent of his clothes, breathing in deeply. He had been oddly warmer than you had expected, “why?”
“I don’t remember when I last saw a living being, but you were brave and living.” He leant his forehead against yours. “I wanted to know what it felt like… to live again.”
“You’re more than that, Ryan,” you intertwined your fingers with his other hand, the grasp as affectionate as each other’s words. “you’re still to me very much alive.” His face came inches to your before his lips touched almost hesitantly against yours, the tenderness that you had expected when he pulled you in, as if he was trying to pull something from you that you didn’t know you held.
His lips were chapped yet welcoming, and you kissed him like he was the warmth you needed when you had been lonely for all those years, the loneliness you felt from missing another as you pulled him closer to you, both afraid of the other disappearing like a hallucination.
“Stay with me, as long as you can.” You promised him sweetly, running your fingers through his dark locks. Ryan smiled broadly, his smile seemed crooked but it was the sweetest sight to look at. “I won’t be going anywhere.” He pulled you close to his chest tautly. “Not without you.”
-
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lesbianmarth · 4 years
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it’s been a while since i posted about aa but i just finished soj in its entirety tonight. here’s my new list so far
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i still have to give thoughts on cases 4 5 and dlc so that’ll be under a cut. spoilers!
6-4: this was such a filler case, almost shamefully so. i don’t know why they thought they could manage to do this in the 4th case when every game with 5 cases has been pretty consistent about making the 4th case plot relevant, sometimes literally just a preamble to case 5. so yeah i think this one was kinda ass
the two things it had going for it: one, athena. in 6-2 i actually got confused about why i ever liked her, because in that case she felt like she was just acting the part of the Peppy Teen Girl With a Rowdy Streak that makes up almost every assistant character. But then as SOON as she started bantering with Simon in 6-4 i was like “oh, THAT’S why i liked her!” was nice to take control of her again.
two, uendo toneido. while i don’t think you can say the DID was portrayed with quite the necessary respect or kindness, it was handled better than i’ve seen other media handle it-- at least it’s not completely demonized. other people have written more on that in better detail so i’m not really the judge, but the basic point is that this witness was mad fun to read, and even the dumb jokes like the changing number of floor cushions were entertaining. thus why this case is in the “hard carried by one side character” tier.
especially since there was like nothing else going on. no connection to the main plot, only two other characters besides uendo, and for some reason the clown tits girl was here instead of the magic show case (and to be honest, she wasn’t enjoyable for me even BEFORE she did the standard aa female villain thing and changed her speech pattern as soon as she fell under suspicion). just a weird, nothing case stuck right around the point aa games usually enter endgame. And especially weird because...
6-5 part 1: inexplicably there are two separate cases in the final chapter and each gets one day of investigation and trial. such a weird setup, and it really shouldn’t work... but i think it kinda barely does. barely. it would still have been better to split it into case 4 and case 5 though.
i have a hard time articulating much on the first case bc it sort of blends together for me. the main thing is that the concept of it being a civil case where apollo and phoenix face off is really good. it was a good change of pace, even though you knew it was gonna be a murder somehow anyway. sarge was reasonably nice, i guess, paul atishon had some good animations and quirks (my favorite being when he tries to just walk away from the stand to avoid answering a question), and the logic of the actual murder was good enough.
but i especially got those strong “oh this is a FINAL case!” vibes during the segment in the cave, and that added so much to it even if not much of it was relevant in the first half of the case. the adventure feel reminded me of some of the (out of context bc i still havent played it) scenes i know from 3-5, which is a good association to invoke imo. and it did a lot to give apollo and dhurke time to bond.
speaking of which, dhurke, holy shit. what a KING. i don’t think i’ve ever liked a dad character in ace attorney this much. he’s so genuine and like down to earth that it’s impossible not to start liking him and believe how much he cares for his sons. the bit where he rescued apollo from the cave flood... i felt it in my heart
6-5 part 2: let me just get this out of the way: ga’ran sucks. her design after she goes full evil is so bad, she’s so malicious that it’s immediately obvious she’s going to be the culprit, her breakdown is ridiculous and just embarrassing to watch, and inga had already established way more charisma as a villain when he did the “those were orders of execution actually” bit in 6-3. with that said,
i actually liked it for the most part. the spirit channeling stuff was excellent imo-- they probably use it to similar or greater effect in 3-5 but as someone who again has not played that, i was surprised and almost impressed by how well it was applied. maya was relevant for something! it feels like it’s been ages!
rayfa was a little underutilized, i think-- her moment of determination where she stops letting ga’ran have control over her was alright but it fell flat bc it didn’t have any weight during the moment. i kept hoping she would like, wordlessly take of her shawl and do the little verbal preamble to the divination seance while ga’ran kept yelling at her to stop, but no, the script can’t be good like that, i guess. and since she didn’t get to be the investigation assistant for long, none of her charm in that role carried through.
but DHURKE!! oh my god! in a game almost devoid of emotional impact, his involvement in this case really hit. the way they painstakingly animated his death, the scene where he makes a promise with maya, and then the weight of knowing in hindsight that everything he did in the first part of the case was after he’d already died and just wanted to see his son again before passing on for real....... it hurt. i felt something during that section. this case would also be hard carried by him if not for the fact that i really liked the murder bits.
amara was good too--liked how they made her suspiciously serene and accentuated it with the lightning strikes to make her look like a hidden murderer character about to reveal herself, only to walk it back and confirm she was being forced to act that way. i thought it worked. nahyuta was boring though, i’m sorry-- i get the motivation with having to be a bastard bc his sister and mom were basically held hostage, but the only time i found him compelling in that mess was the bit where he removed his one fingerless glove and revealed he still has the dragon tattoo. that was it. athena was also completely unused the whole case (not even a single mood matrix? really?) and trucy one again went without any role of importance.
the ending also... yknow, a friend said they had to end it this way bc they never figured out what they were going to do with apollo (since following up on what they started in aa4 clearly wasn’t an option???) and just threw him on a bus to get rid of him. i agree with that-- he really feels thrown to the side, and with that i think trucy’s officially stranded with no hope of any character advancement. and the way they ended the game with phoenix and lamiroir deciding “yeah, maybe NOW we should finally tell those two they’re related” honestly felt insulting lol
but maybe the dlc case will let things go out on a high note...?!
6-6: it was okay.
it would’ve worked pretty well as a filler case in an older aa-- honestly i think it’d be one of the better filler cases, certainly worth replacing the shitty ones like 2-3 or 3-3 or, hey, 6-4. but whether i’d say it was worth paying for... eh.
the time travel conceit was done well enough, i think. the way they tied it back to sorin and pierce’s backstories was nice, and the twist about having two receptions was good, although they needed to treat that as a real twist with much more gravity. when the truth comes out it just feels like “oh of course that’s what happened” rather than a big surprise worthy of the Confessing the Truth theme. it’s sort of important because the case becomes a lot less interesting when you take out the time travel element.
far as characters are concerned, i think they needed more side characters to sell the whole thing-- another sprocket family member or another servant of the household. it felt a little limited-- sorin and pierce are pretty good witnesses and i like their quirks and their secrets, but the only alive woman (ellen) has very few traits and no connection to the deeper story of the case, so she falls really flat. the old aa characters didn’t add much- maya and edgeworth were just there for fanservice, ema didn’t get to do much other than acknowledge for the first time in years that she’s a big edgeworth fan, and larry is annoying as hell like he always is.
and oh my god i actually forgot while i was writing that, how they put in athena and trucy but only used them for brief slapstick where trucy would try to set athena on fire and shit. again-- no mood matrix? couldn’t even try once to fit those two characters into something?
i did like pierce’s transformation into his surgeon form though-- that was really cool. loved him doing surgery on a robot, taking xrays of the lawyers, and his breakdown was fantastic-- he would make a really good culprit if they didn’t whiff the last bit of pathos at the end. i don’t think he should’ve been aiming for revenge on sorin; it would have hurt much more if he was still loyal to the guy and never intended for him to be in danger, but the final “why’d you do it?” talk in the trial just felt flat and one-note, much like the one in 6-4.
... so that’s spirit of justice! not a super positive experience but i’m happy to say it’s done. as much as i want to go and replay dgs, i think when i do go back to ace attorney i’ll be replaying the trilogy for the first time since high school
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monkey-network · 4 years
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My Issues with Butch Hartman
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Call this the sequel to my post on Mr. Enter. But honestly compared to Enter, Butch Hartman has made himself look far worse in so little time. Not only with how he uses his influence, but he basically showed his true colors not long after he left Nickelodeon. With Enter, the worst you can say about him is his opinions on media and his politics. With Hartman, there is a surprisingly lot more under his belt that made the hate towards him .
To preface this, while I’m gonna shit on this dude, I’m not shaming anyone who still likes his past content. With that said, bibbity Boppity boopity. Let’s look at the fucking scoopity.
The Telltale Oaxis
This really takes the cake as the scummiest thing Butch has done. Words and opinions can be one thing, but using your platform to basically trick some people out of their money for a project you abandoned for the most part grinds me gears a lot more. As bad as his marketing strategy was, at least Enter provided effort in his indiegogo project beforehand for god’s sake. Oaxis is one of the most pitiable crowdfunded projects I’ve seen.
It’s nearly two years since Butch got Oaxis funded and what have gotten beyond pure dead silence. Nearly two years and little to no significant updates for Oaxis’s Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, his Youtube, or the site’s official account. No wait, that last part’s kind of a lie. They had monthly updates on the official site up until September 2019. Could’ve posted this on their social medias but you take what you can get. 
The major takeaway from the updates, in all fairness, was that the kickstarter wasn’t enough and they still need to raise more funds for the service. The “capital-building” stage he calls it where he’s looking for more investors in addition to getting actual programs onto the service. That and Oaxis is a big vision for Butch and his wife in spite of not only giving up the monthly updates and basically secluding any mention of Oaxis from any place else. That’s basically it and I legit feel sorry for everyone that couldn’t get their refund back.
This isn’t HBO Max or Disney+ where you just expect them to have something together after their initial announcement because they’re already media conglomerates, this is an independent project. One that people, your fans included Butch, put over 200K thinking you would at least give people something. But beyond a “sizzle reel” that said nothing aside from Oaxis going to be a thing, you have presented jack after two years. I don’t expect the ins and outs of every business meeting with executives, but staying silent about everything except for monthly newsletters that offer very little encouraging progress and hasn’t updated since September of last year is not a good sign. And I’m especially hard on this topic, Butch, because this is the biggest point where it is seriously hard to trust you. It’s not criticizing your ego when after having too many cracks in your story, you really haven’t put your money where your mouth is.
I don’t wanna presume the guy’s given up on it, hoping everybody would forget it after a while, but he’s really put the effort in to make Oaxis feel like a afterthought. I’m not an expert in business, but even I can believe that after his non-apology for not being upfront with his initial intentions, that he’d try to provide updates on the project to not come off as the scam artist people have accused him as. Even with his Youtube channel that I’ll get to later, I don’t think it’s hard consistently posting about your so called vision if you have that much faith in its success. You’ve already gotten thousands of bucks initially with the crowdfund, people deserve more than your pitiful wishful platitudes and I unfortunately can’t believe you’ll have anything after a few years. It’s not that everyone forgot about it, but you mostly took the money and ran. If Butch pops up with something if he sees this somehow, I’ll eat that crow, but I sincerely doubt it after this long. Like at least post something on the Twitter, I get depressed just looking at it; that account is the textbook definition of famine.
The Childhood Reposter
I’ve brought up Butch’s youtube channel a couple times, and it’s when every time I look at it, it’s a little sad. When it comes to major creators, I typically think that after finishing their projects they’d move to newer things. People like Lauren Faust, Mike Judge, CH Greenblatt are all continuing to make new works under differing studios while new creators are getting the spotlight. Butch though? I mean, he has a new cartoon that I swear you’ve never heard about but other than that, the dude looks like he has little to say for himself nowadays beyond the 2 shows he’s famous for, Fairly Odd Parents and Danny Phantom. I would’ve added TUFF Puppy and Bunsen is a Beast but I can see that those two aren’t his major players seeing as how they’re rarely ever mentioned on the channel.
If it’s not some watchmojo level meme video, almost every other video is about either two of those shows in some varied fashion. I get that he “created your childhood” and made credulous bank from Nickelodeon, but it’s like Danny Phantom is all that stands between him and having an audience. That and drawing anime characters in his style which is... y’know, I’ll leave that to you. It’s like he retired and yet goes on about the good old days like a fluctuating ego. He’s still making a cartoon but to him that’s hardly a factor compared to his known successes.
Personally, I wouldn’t want to just be known as the guy who made two of your countless beloved cartoons. Not that that’s all he talks about, but it’s the insistence of his legacy that unfortunately gives me Bojack Horseman vibes. He no doubt has a good thing going but I believe that this isn’t gonna last. Just saying, dude has 850K subscribers and unless it’s a real hook like with the recent Danny Phantom/Jake Long death battle, he’s hardly getting a good fraction of views anymore. There’s only so many times you can milk Danny Phantom as your masterpiece before everyone moves on.
The Holy Boast
I wanna make this short because I’m not a huge talker of religion, but I stand to say that you should NOT, under any circumstance, believe BPD, PTSD, autism, fucking heart & kidney failure can be “cured” or “healed” through sermons of prayer. This here? This is genuinely something else.
https://www.healingjourneys.today/
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For clarity, this was a gospel conference hosted by Butch and his wife and yes, they openly proclaim that BPD, austism, and heart disease can be cured through prayer of holy worship.
Now, I’m gonna give a full disclosure right here because this most certainly biases my point here, like I’m gonna own this. But my grandpa was a religious man that suffer from health problems. He notably prayed to carry on, yes, but at the same time he sought medical help. Even he told me that prayers wasn’t gonna keep the pacemaker going, he went to the doctors and actually did more than read the bible to improve himself. He unfortunately passed, but he was in his 70s and I honestly couldn’t believe, as hard as I try, that he was gonna live forever. My grandpa would’ve no doubt died far earlier if he followed this conference’s logic.
My point is that this is personally unsettling. I seriously cannot believe this is how autism and religion works and it blows my mind that him and his wife thought this conference was a suitable idea. I’m not bashing them as christians, but thinking mental disorders and bodily diseases can be done away with motivational seminars because that’s basically what they are is a legit slap to the face. And the seedling idea that they’ve done this before blows my mind.
The Financial Flaker
This is very recent and everything is generally explained in the 12 minute video but long story short: Butch hired an artist and never paid them for their work. The artist in question, Kuro, describes what happened between him and Butch in this video and provides receipts. Can’t really add anything to this myself beyond this just builds to the idea that Butch cannot be trusted as a professional business maker. I believe he still has people working for him but from this video, it tells me that Hartman will gladly use those lower than him in favorable pursuits and will gladly throw ignorance when he wants to because his cartoon veteran status presents that shield from thinking he can do no wrong, which can mean throttling his hires.  Let’s end this.
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The Conclusion
When I get down to it, Butch is almost a Machiavellian character in a way. It’s amazing how much the trust people have had with Hartman have evaporated in less than a couple years. It’s amazing how much his ego has truly shown after he stopped being a namestay in Nickelodeon. Haven’t even mentioned the times he arrogantly deflected criticism because he was a namestay at Nick and how a couple who’ve worked with are well aware of his ego. I can’t help but believe that even after everything, he claims ignorance to his fall from grace and keeps going. Even when more and more are knowing his true self, he’s mostly just doing what he’s been doing for the past few years.
It’s respectable in a way, but shows that the world will move on without him. Again, if you like Danny Phantom and Fairly OddParents, I won’t judge you for it nor say you should be ashamed. This isn’t about cancelling Butch, or get him to stop spreading whatever wacky things he believes in. It’s my personal take of how this man whom I once respected because of what he made before has lost every bit of that from me. It really feels like he grew up with that “I Created Your Childhood” mentality being a 4 time showrunner for almost a couple decades. And when he finally left Nickelodeon, I guess the chance to be that stand out self-made success got to his head and he finally showed his true colors. I now find it hard to believe Butch cares about the little guy that were his fans as much as he rides off his success and others who tolerate him. As such, like JK Rowling, more are seeing this side of him and leaving him behind. Meanwhile Butch is gonna chug on until he just loses steam. It’s kinda like Icarus where the guy will make every effort to fly to the sun. But sooner or later, he’s gonna fall, and in the end I doubt anyone’s gonna care to see it. I know he won’t.
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crowdedimagines · 5 years
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Buzz - David Dobrik
word count: 1964 summary// imagine that David Dm’s Y/n (david’s celeb crush) like he DMed Lana Del Ray during the Allure interview an: italics are the messages exchanged between Y/n and David back and forth.
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New direct message from David Dobrik!
The notification caught you off guard. The name held a certain familiarity so I tapped on the notification.
Hey super busy today, but would love to maybe grab a drink this weekend If not that’s fine No no let’s do it But again totally up to you
Attached with the messages was a selfie of presumably on the set of what looks like an interview. I can’t help but smile before responding.
Love to. When and where?
I turn off my phone and continue on with my day. I have a few more meetings to discuss my filming schedule. On my way home I finally get to look up David to figure out where I know the name from.
I scroll through his channel filled with videos. One catches my eye that has John Stamos featured. John and I worked together on set of Grandfathered with him and Josh Peck. I was a supporting role, this really was before my career took off. I left the show and shortly after the show was canceled anyway.
I kept in contact with John pretty well, he sort of became a step in father figure in Los Angeles. I’m sure that he’s mentioned David at some point.
I go back on Instagram to see that David responded a while ago.
Holy shit! I never thought that you would actually respond to this. Do you actually want to meet up??????
I think for a few seconds and decide to call John. It rings twice before his welcome voice picks up.
“Hey, I have a random question.” I laugh.
“Oh boy, what is it?”
I can practically see him roll his eyes as he says it.
“Who’s David Dobrik?” I laugh while asking it.
“He’s a great kid. Funny, kinda crazy. Why?”
“He sent me a message earlier and wants to meet up.” I open the door to my home with one hand while the other presses the phone to my face. “He isn’t going to like murder me or anything?”
“No, you’re fine with animals right?” He laughs.
“You’re joking.”
“Eh, kinda.”
“Oh, god.” I kick off my heels and take a seat at my counter.
“No no, he really is a good kid. He has a healthy obsession with you, just to let you know.” John explains.
“What?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty well known online too. He has quite the following on social media. He watches like all of your stuff, he’s been a fan for a while.”
“Awe, that’s kinda sweet.” I smile.
“Yeah, he’s a good kid. If he’s crap let me know, I’ll teach him a lesson.”
“Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
We both hang up the phone and I go back to Instagram.
I’m definitely down. Tonight too soon? Kinda want to get out of my house.
Coming home to an empty house really gets to me sometimes. I was so happy once I made it ‘big’ to buy a home but now I wish I had a roommate. Or at least a dog. My family isn’t too close so that makes things lonely sometimes here.
Never too soon for you;) Can I pick you up?
Sure. [Address] What are we doing?
Dinner?
Sounds great! I’m starving
Do you care if I film? I don’t know if you know but, I have a youtube channel
Yeah that’s fine, John told me lol
John Stamos?
Yep
Uh oh, haha he didn’t say anything bad about me did he?
Only that you’re obsessed with me
I’m going to kill him.
Haha it’s cute. Six o clock?
See you then
I decide to change into something a little more comfortable than my outfit from meetings today. I settle on a very simple outfit that looks cute. I actually take off a bit of makeup that I was wearing earlier. 
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Sometimes heavy makeup can too much for first meeting someone. I settle on curling my lashes and a swipe of mascara. Before I know it, it’s six and my doorbell goes off signaling that someone is here.
I walk over and I can’t wipe the smile off my face. I swing the door open to reveal David, smiling like an adorable idiot.
“Hi!” I grin.
“Oh my god, hi! Can I give you a hug?” He laughs.
“Of course.” I open my arms to welcome into a hug. He holds me tightly in a comforting way. We both pull away after a few seconds.
“Let me just grab my purse.” I turn back and walk back in the house, “You can come in.”
I shout the last part over my shoulder as I run back upstairs to my room to grab my bag. I come back downstairs and notice David is standing in the hallway looking at the pictures on my wall.
“Whatcha looking at?” I tease, walking over.
“Oh, just you.” He blushes, “Your house is amazing by the way.”
“Thank you.”
We both leave and get into David’s Tesla which is impressive. Kind of make me want one. We make small talk as he pulls out of my driveway. He explains how he was in an interview when they asked him to message his celebrity crush.
“So what do you want?” He asks, glancing over at me taking his eyes off the road every few seconds.
“I don’t care.” I shrug, trying to be polite.
“That’s such a lie.” He calls me out with a laugh.
“Okay, I kind of care!” I admit with a chuckle, “What about getting something to go and then I know this spot where we can go. I made the plans, now you have to pick the food.”
“Fine, I think I know a good pizza place not too far from here.” He makes a turn and we head in towards the city. At some point David puts his camera on the dash.
“Do you guys see who I’m with right now?” He yells at the camera freaking out a little bit making me laugh, “You guys, I messaged her today randomly and now we’re on a date!”
He smiles and looks like a kid on Christmas.
“Who said this was a date?” I tease, his face pales for a second. I reach out to his shoulder, “I’m totally kidding.”
“Oh my god, my heart just stopped for a second.” He huffs out a breath of air. “You just scared me so bad.”
“Okay now Mr. David Dobrik, you seem to know an awful lot about me and I don’t know much about you.” I turn in my seat slightly to face him. The camera is long forgotten for both of us. “What’s your favorite color?”
“That’s your big question?” He smirks, glancing over to me.
“Do you know what mine is?” I smirk right back, trying to prove my point that he knowns significantly more about me than I do about him.
“Yeah, its Y/fc.” He rolls his eyes, “My favorite color is red.”
“How long have you been making youtube videos?”
“Um a few years now, I started right around when I moved out to L.A. I started after vine died.”
We continue to talk until we make it to the pizza place was talking about. We both order a slice of pizza and David pays which I try to object to.
“Okay, now where to?” He asks after putting our boxes in the backseat.
I give him the general directions until we make it to a lookout spot. It’s beautiful here, I come here to think a lot. I haven’t really brought anyone here with me before.
“Wow, it’s beautiful here.” He admires, putting the car in park.
The sun is setting perfectly over the San Fernando Valley.
“C’mon.” I take off my seatbelt and reach behind his seat to grab the pizza. I open the door while balancing the pizza with one hand. I hop up on the hood of David’s car, setting his box next to me. David takes a few seconds to come out, but joins me on the car.
“Oh my god, this is bigger than my head.” I laugh holding up my piece of pizza.
We talk for a long time about everything we can think of. The pizza is gone with any hint of orange in the sky. It’s gotten colder as the sun disappeared, I lean in closer to David. He scoots closer too.
“This has been really nice.” I whisper, it’s as if I spoke too loudly it would ruin the bubble we’re in.
“I was thinking the exact same thing.” He turns to look at me with a grin.
We both lean back and look up at the stars, still shoulder to shoulder. I can’t fight the shiver that runs through my spine.
“Cold?” He asks, turning his head to face me.
“Mhm, just a little bit.” I turn to look at him too, “But I don’t want to go yet.”
“Good.” He smirks, leaning even closer now. “Wait, I think I have something!”
He quickly hops off the car and runs around to the trunk. I sit up a little wondering what could have been worth ruining our little moment. He comes back with a black sweatshirt and a proud smile.
“You can wear this!” He hands it to me, I sit up and hold it out to look at it.
“Is this your merch?” I ask with a laugh. The sweatshirt is plastered with his name.
“Yeah, it’s the only thing I have with me.”
I slip the sweatshirt on and lean back into David’s side. We’re closer now that we were before. I can’t tell if the sweatshirt is warming me up or the close contact is.
“Only the first date and you’re already trying to give me your name.” I tease.
“Hey!” He reaches out and starts mercilessly tickling me. I can’t hold back my laughter and he’s laughing too.
“Okay okay!” I push him off, struggling to regain my breath. I push him back down so we can snuggle once again, his arm wrapped around my neck to pull me close.
We stay that way for a while, only talking a little. The silence is welcomed, until all too soon it’s late. We both reluctantly untangle our limbs before getting back in the Tesla. David drive slower than he did earlier to drop me off now. It doesn’t take long and he’s already walking me to my door.
“I had a really good time.” I bite my bottom lip in a smile.
“Me too. This was unreal.” He shakes his head.
“Well have a good night.” I take a step into my house.
“You too.” David grins taking a few steps backwards.
I decide to take a leap of faith and rely on my courage to close the gap and connect our lips. My hands are in his hair and his hands take a few seconds to find my waist. Once the do, he pulls me closer with a tight grip. I smile against his lips, absolutely loving the feeling.
“Goodnight.” I whisper, hands still on his face.
“Goodnight.” He says, staring in my eyes. He brushes away a loose strand of hair that escaped during our slight makeout.
I have to push myself away from David to finally let him go. I quickly shut the door behind me and immediately lean up against it. I can still feel the buzz on my lips, I haven’t felt that since I was a kid.
All of this over one little DM...
there is a part 2
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kasienda · 6 years
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2018 Fanfic Year In Review
1 List of fics completed this year: 8!! Though I might be cheating by including each reveal as its own fic, but to be fair to myself, each reveal is a self-contained story, so… I think it counts!) Going it Alone – finished the last two chapters in 2018 after almost a year with no updates! It’s still surreal that this is a finished product!  Box of Chocolates – Series of One-shots for @mamousaweek 2018!  Reveals - where various characters (usually UsaMamo) figure out someone’s or each other’s identities: Touch Gratitude Unworthy Secrecy Fatherhood Disappointment I also started these two new gems: Cravings for Chocolate Milkshakes - my dive into writing comedy Coming of Age - sequel to Going it Alone that loosely follows the Black Moon Arc of the anime and manga.  And I pulled off a whole single update way back in February for: Invisible Wounds - Kind’ve a medical drama that includes a romantic plot for Ami x Zoi. And has some major feminist themes (that I mostly haven’t gotten to yet...)   2 Number of words written: 77,816!!!!!!! Holy shit! That is so much higher than I thought it was! It didn’t feel like that much! I have felt sooooo slow. (I apparently just have too many projects going at once, so it often feels like I’m not making forward progress). I’m so excited. Thank you for making me do this @floraone​, if only for this revelation! 3 Your most popular fic: Going it Alone – this story has twice as many hits, comments, follows, and faves than the next runner up in my writing library. To be fair though, it didn’t collect all of those in 2018 as this story took me four years to complete. I think Coming of Age and Cravings for Chocolate Milkshakes may surpass it, as they have way more follows/faves than Going it Alone had in its first year.  4 Your personal fav: Coming of Age – I know I’m not that far into this one. I truly think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, but goodness, I love this story – both what is already there, and where it’s going.  5 Your fav scene: Right now? Probably the opening chapter of Cravings for Chocolate Milkshakes. But I reserve the right to change my mind! I just like the dynamic of mixing Usagi into Mamoru’s head. It was so fun, especially when he has absolutely no clue what is going on. It’s an easy piece for me to read over again and it still makes me laugh!  6 A fic or scene that challenged you: What fic doesn’t challenge me?! Invisible Wounds and Coming of Age both feel so big!! And that feels overwhelming at times (So did Going It Alone when I was in the middle, so there’s definitely hope!). In Invisible Wounds I feel like I’ve JUST finished the intro arc (assuming a three arc structure) and it’s already 33k words long! Sheesh! And with Coming of Age, I’ve barely dipped a toe in and it’s already stretching me because I really want it to live up to the vision in my head, which is EPIC!  And then there’s Cravings for Chocolate Milkshakes. This is a romantic comedy! And comedy is HARD and not my natural genre at all, especially when I don’t want it to fall into the category of crack fic. I love how light hearted a fun it is though! And I am so proud of it, even though I have to fight for every bit of it, or maybe I’m so proud of it because I have to fight for every bit of it!  7 A line of writing you’re proud of: Again, it’s hard to pick. Let’s go with this exchange… “I love you too Usako,” Mamoru whispered back. “Are you okay?” “I am. It’s just much easier to imagine now.” “What is?” “What it must have been like for you,” she confided. “After your parents died.” His arms around her tightened. “Let’s make it different for Chibiusa.” 8 A comment that touched you: Guys! There are too many. This month it has been FuN FiFi. This person has slowly methodically gone through every one of my stories this past month, and left a gushing review on each of them. This was the last one they sent just this past week completing my library. I haven’t had the energy to respond, but after a few days of crying, and then a few days of pulling my hair out, these were the absolute best pick me ups. 
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Pia Bartolini was another that sent me so many reviews for lots of different stories, and got me writing again after a period of writing inactivity. 
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Whenever @floraone​ starts rambling with everything in caps. Like you can just tell how overcome she is with all the feels – it just rolls off the page EVEN IN HER REVIEWS! 
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Here’s something similar from @queenrisa14​! Where you can just tell, this fic touched her. That means the world to a writer. 
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And this last one holds a truly special place because it’s from my sister. She knows all my fandoms – we were obsessed with them together growing up! And yet, she doesn’t always read them right when they come out. And then suddenly I’ll get a million reviews from her or better yet, a phone call and we’ll talk about my stories and these characters for hours! Cravings for Chocolate Milkshakes was inspired by one of these phone calls.
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9 Something that inspired your writing: Honestly? Mostly life probably. I wrote the majority of Going it Alone over two years while feeling isolated, depressed, inadequate, and hopeless. You can bet Coming of Age already channels (and will continue to do so) my experience as a parent, and Invisible Wounds is definitely a product of spending too much time in hospitals and learning to become some kind of nurse myself for my medically complex son.
A lot of the reveals and one shots, I feel were inspired here on Tumblr. From people sending me ideas and prompts! From lovely artwork and fan art. From brainstorming sessions with @floraone​, @tinacentury, and my husband​. Also from comments and reviews!! I cannot tell you the number of times getting a gushing review after a long time of silence has specifically sent me opening up all the story documents determined to finish something! 10 Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc): Can I go back up to that word count?! My life has been insane (and hard) this year (especially since June), and just to see that I never stopped writing through any of it, even though it felt like I didn’t have any time, well, that just feels really good!!
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Text
Supernatural survey
I wasn’t tagged but this looks amazing, so I’m doing it anyway. However, I found it at  @holy-fucking-damn-shit blog.
1. What season did you start watching Supernatural? Season 1. I started from the beginning if that’s what you’re asking :). But if the question is meant in the sense what year I started watching, then the show was at its ninth season. It was about two or three weeks before the finale. I remember everyone was talking about how the season might end, because Jensen teased something about it being an eye-opener :D.
2. Who was the first character you fell in love with? Dean, always. My initial love for him, was really all about how snarky and fun he was. But as the character developed I really fell in love with how layered he was. How he has this mask that is made so obvious and talked about clearly on the show, but whatever’s underneath it you get between the lines, through showing. How on the surface you get “Sam is the smart one” but you are shown hints that Dean is a genius. You will get “Sam is more open to his emotions”, but you are shown that it’s Dean who makes emotionally based decisions, while Sam goes for (often) cold logic. And sadly, you will also get “Dean’s decisions are dumb and should be disregarded because they are emotionally based” but a lot of the timeit turns out that Dean was right all along (example: when Cas was possesed by Lucifer, Dean’s focus was on that, while Sam insisted, Amara was a bigger problem. Turned out Lucifer was the bigger problem in the end).
3. Who was a character that you hated at first but grew to love?: Crowley. Even though it was really up and down with him. It kind of depended on whether or not he was on the Winchester’s side - or worked with them, because, really, Crowley was always only on his own side. I don’t think I ever truly loved him, but I enjoyed his character, definitely.
4. Which character would you most want to be in a long-term relationship with? Um. This one is tough, because realisticaly, I don’t really see myself dating any of the characters. I would love to say Dean, but I would probably just keep on shipping him with Cas even in real time, so I wouldn’t date him. If I look at people I date in real life, Charlie would be the closest one. Dean is very close as well, but like I said, I would just play matchmaker for him :D.
5. If you could go on a date with just one character, which one would you choose?: Despite what I just said, I would choose Dean for that date, because I would love to talk to him and chances are that date would end with an awesome night :D. I’m not really one for one-night stands normally, but in this case I wouldn’t be able to resist.
6. What would you do on that date? I would love to chill out at the bunker. Dean would make dinner and we’d watch some TV and talk. And then end up in his room. Obviously this points towards us being friends for a while before deciding to just make a one time thing out of that, to relieve some stress :). Since I’m demi, I would definitely have to be close friends with him first for that scenario to work.
7. Which character would you most want to be like?: If we’re only talking about their character and not their experience (because I wouldn’t want to go through that), I would probably go for Dean. His character resonates with me and he makes me want to be a better person. And to have his confidence and empathy whe it comes to dealing with other people, that would be a gift.
8. Which character would you most want to see brought back from the dead?: Most of all Charlie, I think. Just because that was seriously messed up. Gabriel is another big name that comes to mind. Bobby is kind of a given. But I would also love to see Victor Henriksen again! And maybe Henry, even though I felt like his story was wrapped up nicely, it was just so short.
9. Which character would you most like to punch?: Lucifer. Always. He’s pure chaotic evil.
10. Who is your absolute favorite character?: Dean always had the top spot. Cas is a close second, but no one can take Dean’s spot in my heart.
11. Which “Big Bad” do you think was the worst?: The worst in the sense of writing, worst in the sense of how much I hated them or worst in how scary they were? In the sense of writing and storytelling, The Leviathan were absolute bullshit, excuse my French. Just no. In the sense of my hate for them, Lucifer wins. He’s a great villain in that sense. But damn, I hate him so much. And Cas was kind of seriously scary as the Big Bad (if you can count that, because technically, it was supposed to be Raphael and then the Leviathan, but it was really Cas), because that one was paved with good intentions. Lucifer is the villain that is just too evil for me to connect with and to really get him. He’s like Voldemort. Cas was probably scarier for that short period of time, because I understood his motivations even if I didn’t agree with his choices. He was like Zobrist in Brown’s Inferno (which was honestly the only good thing about that book).
12. Which character are you most like?: Wow, that one’s tough. The characters on the show have such different experiences from me that I have hard time separating that from who they are. I suppose I am a lot like Dean in some cases. I like to put up a front and hide my feelings from people around me, because I am very private with them and I don’t want to bother anyone with them. I’m a nerd who finds joy in being a fan of something, though I don’t hide that like Dean, so in that sense I’m more like Charlie. Like Dean, I rely on my feelings and my gut when it comes to decisions and when I screw something up I can drive myself crazy with guilt. Like Cas, I’m curious about things and I sometimes struggle to show how much I care. There’s so many different things, but I would say, even though we are very different in some aspect, I might be the closest to Dean.
13. What death hit you the hardest? Maybe when Sam died for the first time, just because it was really the first big one and I didn’t really know how the show worked. And also because his death was followed with so many awful things. Dean’s first death (like complete death in No Rest for the Wicked) was a tough one too. Charlie too, but I’m still kind of in denial about that one. And I suppose season 12 finale, even though I knew even in that second that this is not the end. I’m still worried about how that character will come back though. Will they be the same? 14. What season finale hit you the hardest?: Alpha and Omega. It was such a different finale from all the other ones that it stands above all the other ones. Even if it wasn’t devastating like other finales, or maybe because of that, it’s message got under my skin.
15. What are your ten all-time favorite episodes?: Lazarus Rising (Castiel and new Ruby), Reichenbach (Deanmon. Just. This. Fucking. Episode.), Don’t Call me Shurley (I can’t believe they went there), Alpha and Omega (best finale of ever), Angel Heart (Dean and Claire coming to terms, Cas and Claire coming to terms, Amelia and Jimmy getting a closure), The Monster at the End of This Book (Chuck!!!), Changing Channels (Gabriel and all the shade thrown here), Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox (Dean and Sam being legends, the twins), Fanfiction (I can’t even), Tall Tales (Gabriel! Also, some of the most absurd quotes ever), Everybody Hates Hitler (the Bunker!!!). That’s eleven. Because it’s impossible to choose just ten. It’s impossible to choose eleven too, but I managed to stop myself there :D.
16. What’s been your favorite season?: I can’t. Dammit. No. Right now it would probably be season 11 if they cut some of the fucking useless stuff in 11x21 and 11x22. There were some very importants scenes there, but a lot of this was just there to fill the space between 11x20 and 11x23. Though, considering 11x20 and 11x23 were some of the best episodes of the show in my eyes, it might be one of the reasons why the two episodes between just seemed so weak in comparison.
17. Who is your favorite angel? Is that even a question. I love Cas!
18. Who is your favorite demon? The two demons that were supposed to follow Crowley at the beginning of season 12 were pretty hillarious :D. But seriously, I would probably say Crowley. Even if not always. Meg had her moments as well.
19. Who’s your favorite evil character? Again, I might say Crowley and Meg, I guess. I would say Amara, but she was more neutral than evil. Rowena had a lot of great moments too. Oh, and Don and Maggie Stark were awesome and I want them to come back!
20. Do you have any Supernatural ships?: I’m Destiel trash if there ever was one. I have a lot of smaller ships that don’t really have that much impact on me, but I like the idea of them: Sam and Eileen, Don and Maggie, Henry and Josie (though I know it wasn’t like that). I read some Sabriel occasionally and I have some kind of weird thing for Dean/Cas/Meg which I honestly don’t understand.
21. Who’s your favorite supporting actor?: I would have to write a really long list for this one. Just on top of my head: Rob, Richard, Matt, Kim, Kathryn Newton, Emily Swallow, Gil McKinney, Osric Chau. Kid, honestly, I could go on and on... :D
22. What’s your favorite quote from the show?: Dean’s speech to Chuck comes to mind: “People...people pray to you, people build churches for you and fight wars in your name... And you did nothing.”
And Cas’ heartbreaking speech: “Knowing you has been the best part of my life. The things we’ve shared togehter..they have changed me. You’re my family. I love you. I love all of you.”
And Dean and Claire in Angel Heart. I just loved the scenes in the motel room and when they were playing mini golf. It’s not really a quote, just the conversations between them are gold.
23. If you could cast one famous actor in an episode of SPN, who would you choose? Maybe Emilia Clarke? I don’t really know. But I feel like she could be a badass hunter or just someone who had their life disrupter by supernatural activity, but she has like this no nonesense attitude about it. Or she could be another British woman of letters.
24. If you could write your own episode, what kind of creatures would you like to see included?: I don’t know about creatures, but I would love to see Virgin Mary as a character and bring Gabriel back just to see those two interacting :D. Oh, also, this is not my idea, but @northern-sparrow has these awesome creatures called elementals in her fics Forgotten and Flight and that’s such an amazing idea I want to see that on Spn.
25. Who’s your favorite girl that Dean’s hooked up with?: I guess it would be Lisa. Even if I couldn’t really see them together long-term, she really cared about him and tried to be what he needed.
26. Who’s your favorite girl that Sam’s hooked up with?: Ha! I will say Genevieve Padalecki. Because they did hook up in French mistake, didn’t they! :D Part of me wanted to say Ruby, because even if she was evil and seduced him into screwing everything up, she was honestly a really good character.
27. What are some of your favorite convention moments?: Pretty much any Cockles panel ever :D. Jensen reading Misha’s resume, the thing with the white bunny and so on. And as far as my own experiences go, meeting Jensen was pretty great and also having an actual conversation with Misha about books.
28. If you were going to guest star (or be a recurring guest star) on SPN, how would you want your character to be described?: Maybe a university professor who specializes in mythilogy and becomes kind of a new Bobby? Or an angel who starts helping the Winchesters.
29. What do you hope to see in the next season?: Cas coming back as HIMSELF and not some alternate reality Cas. Sam listening to Dean for once. Rowena coming back. No more deaths for shock value. Some interesting monsters of the week.
30. - 40. If you had to choose…
Bobby or John?: Bobby.
Bela or Ruby? Ruby.
Jess or Madison?: Probably Jess, but I don’t really know with this one.
Jo or Lisa?: That’s tough. Maybe Jo, but it’s close.
Charlie or Kevin? Almost impossible, but at gun point I’d choose Charlie.
Balthazar or Ash?: Balthazar. But mostly because Ash has been gone for so long I can’t really imagine him coming back.
Cas or Crowley? Cas. Crowley was great and I’ll miss him, but Mark was quite clear about not coming back and I respect it. And Crowley would just never win over Cas for me.
Ben or Claire? Claire. Ben was great, but I feel like we know Claire so much better. And I want to know more.
Jody or Donna? Probably Jody, but could I get them both as a couple?
Sam or Dean?: Dean all the way. I still love Sam (even though it might not be very clear from this post), but Dean just has my heart. I will tag!: Anyone who wants to do this!
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gh0stpkmn · 7 years
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ok uh. yooran gaming channel au - part 2
@misfireezreal reblogged the ‘yoosung has a gaming channel au’ post and wrote a really cute lil addition that inspired me to add some more ideas to this mess of an au..... and i got really carried away
their addition / reblog post is here !!  tho i’ll also put a screenshot of it under the cut... along with more headcanons/ideas/whatever for the au/scenario
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 god this is so cute omfg. ok so..
●  yoosung liking comments that say nice things abt saeran?? so good. honestly the sweet comments probably rlly do a lot of good things for saeran’s self esteem!! they cheer him up when he’s feelin sad i would think? definitely helps a lot on his rougher days.
●  misfireezeal mentioned donations so i started thinking about what donation money would go towards... when theyre not goin towards yoosung’s tuition (if he even stays in university at this point?? idk??)  or his cost of living, or equipment for the channel, they go to charities.
yoosung wants to help animals so they donate to animal rescue organizations and stuff like that. he wants to contribute help to other causes too so... he wants saeran to have some say where the money goes (and i mean saeran is the meme bringin in a lot of it so. ye.)
it’s important to saeran that they donate to organizations that provide help for mentally ill people--especially mentally ill youth. also organizations that help children in foster care or like... help kids that have been abused idk.. idk! idk...  things that can help young people that are going through some of the same things saeran went through
yoosung doesn’t announce the donations or anything because like... he doesn’t really feel the need to???? neither of them see a point in posting/talking about it. it just feels good to do nice things.
other stuff:
●  it comes up in passing that like. saeran as a knack for hacking and everyone’s like “how could u do this?? cant believe ur a dirty hacker”
saeran’s like “ lol dont worry. i only cheat at games when i play against my brother because he’s a shit and never plays fair ”
chat is like “whoa we didn’t know you had a brother!!!”
and they talk about it a little and yoosung is like “yeah his brother is ____”  (whatever his username is? i forget. hacker god i think?)  “he usually plays on the shooting star server “
viewers are Shocked that yoosung knows #1 on shooting star. they demand to have him as a guest star
it’s... debatable whether saeyoung agrees to it or not?? he has to lay low and stuff.. either way, they tell saeyoung about it and he’s so amused omfg. he watches yoosung and saeran’s streams sometimes (and is so proud of his bro. he cries probably) but not super often? when he does watch, he also uses a random throwaway name
but after the chat asks for him, he logs in once or twice w/ his LOLOL screen name and people are all over omfg. chat goes wild and saeyoung is Living for the attention omg
saeran is like “you’re so dumb god i hate you”
and saeyoung’s like. “ok but are you actually planning on coming home some time soon??? tomorrow maybe? becaaauuuuuse..... i miss you”
it’s cheesy and lame and Embarrassing. saeran’s just.. “GO AWAY asshole im doing a thing....................................... also, yes. please order pizza for dinner”
yoosung thinks its funny n cute and so do the viewers.
●  and ok even if... saeyoung is never a guest star, they probably bring like. mc or zen on once or twice and it’s great. a lot of viewers recognize zen (i imagine he’s a bit more famous at this point) and they are... so excited and surprised that he’s friends w/ yoosung and saeran.
i can’t really see jaehee or jumin on the show but like..........
..... the idea of them tricking jumin into trying to play a video game on the stream is so fucking funny to me????
like Somehow they manage to convince him to come over?? idk maybe by asking him to  ”help them work on a big project that’s essential to yoosung’s career” or smth “that requires nothing less than jumin han’s skill and expertise”  and because he’s a good friend he agrees. then they just. put a controller in his hand and he’s like “what am i supposed to do with this”
and ok jumin has probably owned a gaming console at some point but i honestly, truly can’t bring myself to believe that he uses it for anything other than like.....netflix
so he has no fucking experience and it’s. so good. yoosung and saeran are trying really hard not to laugh (and yoosung is failing)
idk what they make him play specifically but for some reason wii sports is flashing through my mind holy shit..... but actually its probably LOLOL or fallout 4 or something. idk. either way, he’s bad at it and they struggle to teach him how to even hold the controller properly
●  saeran likely moves in some time after they’ve started the channel where both of them play games together. which happened pretty far into the relationship anyways i think?
and even then it happens quite a while after they start the channel. maybe when it’s been going for a year or something? maybe two??
(i have no idea???? idk how long these kinds of channels stay big??? i only watch like... fairly well known youtubers like game grumps that have been around for a long time. and mcleroy stuff on polygon idk.)
anyways
how they decide to move in is basically like... ok.
i imagine they probably get questions about their relationship a lot when they come out as a couple or when new viewers first find out about them. the flow of questions dies down after the initial reveal that they’re together but they still pop up every now and then
sometimes the questions get slightly intrusive like asking about their plans for the future which they kinda just ignore those until it becomes a really frequently asked question so they Have to answer it.. so they just say they don’t feel comfortable talking about it for the time being (because tbh they dont know lol)
and so...
probably a specific question that people ask A LOT (and have since saeran’s early appearances)  is if saeran lives with yoosung, or if he’s planning to.
because he’s at yoosung’s place so often. he has been since the channel’s early days, and they post videos and stream together fairly regularly, i guess?
there’s obviously more content of just yoosung doing his thing because it is his channel after all but content featuring saeran is definitely a frequent thing (even when it’s not their duo let’s play channel or whatever... saeran can still be seen in the background in a fair amount of yoosung’s usual LOLOL streams, too. )
so uh
at some point they’re just hanging out.. (off stream, not on video or anything. just them together.. like a date night or just to spend some time together. i dunno)
maybe cuddlin’ in bed or on the couch watching a movie, having a nice time. there’s comfortable silence
and yoosung never really gave it a lot of thought before, but lately... he and saeran are just really close and their relationship is so GOOD and he loves him a lot. he’s thinking over all this stuff and how often people ask if they live together and...
i mean, he thought about it on his own before he really took the viewers’ questions seriously.... them bringing it up isn’t what sparked it necessarily. 
he considered the possibility before, but he was always scared that bringing up moving in together would be too forward or pushy, and that saeran wasn’t ready for it, and that they would be rushing into things--going too fast. yeah. 
he got that ball rollin’ and was trying to take it slow but recently, everyone bringing the idea up jsut. fuckin. kicks that ball. so hard. it’s going full fuckin throttle. max speed. it’s out of control and he can’t stop it
and so in this... really comfortable quiet moment he just kinda blurts out
“why haven’t we moved in together yet?”
saeran is surprised obviously. he wasn’t expecting that at all
he has briefly entertained the idea of living with yoosung before, because he’s over so often anyways, and he wants to spend even more time together.... but he’s also scared for various reasons? 
such as his mental health issues, obviously. he’s also anxious that yoosung will get sick of him, or that he won’t be able to handle being around yoosung 24/7 and vice versa. he doesn’t want to get so easily annoyed and snappy like he does at home with saeyoung? he also doesn’t want to rush into things. idk. there’s a lot more reasons but those are some of them.
so when yoosung says this, he has no idea how to react??? so he just kinda mumbles “oh... uh.......”
yoosung panics like
 “god, im sorry, that was so stupid. um. it’s just... been on my mind a lot lately, i guess..? god! ah... forget about that! it was dumb...”  
he covers his eyes and kinda... hunches over. all embarrased and nervous and a little guilty because he doesn’t want to make saeran uncomfortable. he can’t even look at him. poor boy omg
saeran stays quiet for a long time, furrows his brows and chews the nail of his thumb and looks like he’s concentrating on something. after a while he pipes up, so quietly that yoosung can barely hear him
“i don’t think it’s dumb”
yoosung is. shocked. but also immediately hopeful! he perks up!!! looks at his bf incredulously like “you don’t?” 
saeran kinda... talks slowly bc he’s thinking hard about his words and says that he didn’t expect yoosung to bring it up really but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it before
so they have an Important, Serious conversation about it and they both make sure that the other is %100 on board with it and ready to just. jump in and do it.
celebratory smooches ensue because they’re cute and happy and excited.
... i forget if yoosung’s place is a dorm or not. if it is, he gets his own apartment.
if it’s not, he stays in his apartment and saeran moves in there.
it’s small and kinda cramped and very far from a “forever home” but they make it work for now!! they’re happy that way... (maybe in the future they get a bigger place, which is nice because it makes it easier for saeran to have some privacy when he needs time alone.)
●  yoosung definitely takes short little videos or vlogs all the time and posts them on youtube and other social media
he takes one the day after they have the conversation mentioned above. and it’s just. “you guys.... i asked my boyfriend to move in and he said yes!! god, i was so scared! tell them how scared i was, saeran!” he points the camera at saeran who is reading a book and he just. 
idk he either just flips off the camera bc he’s busy and doesn’t want to be disturbed...
or
he looks it right at the lens and says “he was scared shitless. he literally shit his pants. it was gross. i had to h---” 
cue video going blurry as yoosung turns the camera away real quick paired with. shocked, loud shrieking. “SAERAN!!! DON’T SAY----” and then the video jsut kinda. cuts off there. 
(he still posts it but with some caption along the lines of “that didn’t actually happen. saeran’s just being a dick”)
and of course, there’s definitely multiple videos of the day they move saeran’s stuff in. yoosung records a bunch and puts them on his snapchat story or w/e... other social media too, so they can look back on them later... 
just cute little clips, like one of saeran’s room with all his stuff in boxes..... one of saeyoung and saeran (and maybe mc) loading stuff up into the car.... one of them putting the boxes in yoosung’s apartment....  a dumb one of saeyoung goofin’ off at yoosung’s place and mc doting on him..
one of saeyoung giving his brother the biggest bear hug ever. just. completely squeezing the life out of him and dramatically pretending to be all emotional (even tho he really is genuinely emotional inside omg) and saeran being annoyed and trying to push him away “god, let me go! you’re suffocating me!”
one where... they’re bringing in the last box.
and finally like. one w/ yoosung turning around to show his whole apartment, boxes everywhere, some of them already half unpacked. “phew... finally finished! the hardest part, anyway”
it’s cute.
●  the little videos are probably a thing that happens every now and then, even after that... he probably snapchats a lot of things in general bbbut a lot of the time it’s just. dumb, random videos of saeran.
some of them are stuff like:
 a close-up of both of them, taken with yoosung’s phone where they’re like “streaming in fifteen! we’re gonna play ____ today.” .... real cute stuff.
or just. shitty phone videos yoosung takes of saeran where like… yoosung says something really sappy joke or pickup line? idk. something really cheesy and terrible and wants to film saeran’s reaction.  and saeran looks over and his expression is just. dead inside. the camera zooms in real close on his face and he whispers “………………. im so sick of this Shi–”  the video cuts off there
probably lots of them chillin and having fun with the whole rfa crew
and. maybe one where the two of them are hanging out with saeyoung and mc and other pals and.. idk. one of them says something funny and they’re all laughing but yoosung zooms in on saeran who just.........ok i imagine that sometimes his more subdued laughs come out as like?? this huffy, kinda wheezy little giggle. he covers his mouth w his hand. and the video captures that. when yoosung posts it, ppl Freak out about it because it’s so uncharacteristically adorable...
there’s videos of them going on trips or just new places in general... going for hikes and exploring maybe.. idk. lots of cute stuff.
saeran takes one of yoosung when they’re at the spca?? or some place like that. idk (i dont like pet stores but maybe a pet store).. and.. yoosung just has his hands and face pressed to a glass partition/window/whatever that has a puppy behind it. maybe multiple puppies. and yoosung turns around w/ the Most desperate, pleading expression anyone has ever seen. (saeran knows he has to say no but it’s so hard omfg)
and obviously there’s lots of little clips of video game stuff. teasers of the game content itself or their playthroughs. maybe a video of one of them sitting on the couch or a computer chair playing a game and getting angry lol.... (or saeran getting frustrated w/ a handheld game that’s supposed to be really calm like... animal crossing. idk sorry i just love the idea of saeran having a 3ds and playing chill games like that to help him relax when he’s anxious omg)
.... there’s also lil videos yoosung takes but he decides that they are private, for his eyes only... little moments like one where they’re getting ready to stream and saeran’s adjusting one of the microphones 
and yoosung quietly says hey to get his attention, and saeran looks over and smiles real big and genuine w/ lots of love and tells him to “Stop goofing around. C’mon, put your phone down and help me finish setting up.” and it’s. sweet and happy and cute... yeah.
.
BUT uh...
yeah!
that’s all for now !!
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pigfartsitsonmars · 7 years
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The End of an Era
I will start off by saying this is going to be a very long blog post #sorrynotsorry. Today is the final day of #Sourcefed, #Sourcefednerd and various other shows on the channels. I am so sad to see it go. I subscribed within the first week and have been watching ever since. You go through fazes over the years and sourcefed was a pretty strong force in my life for many years. They made me laugh, they made me cry, and most important they gave me people to look up to and admire when i was younger. Being almost 25 now i’ve grown with a lot of the hosts over the years and i don’t regret a single moment of it.
Now to write about how each host changed my life and some of my favorite memories. To this day and continuing on i will watch and re-watch all of my favorite episodes forever. (That’s the great thing about the internet)
Joe Bereta: When you started (and kinda throughout) you were labeled the jock of the group because of how athletic you are (which is mind blowing) but you were always so much more then that to me at least. I originally saw you on Barets and Beretta and since then i was smitten. You are incredibly funny and charming, and oh so handsome *wink*. You have this amazing gift to make people laugh and a work ethic i hope to one day achieve. When you left originally i was very sad. I still to this day miss seeing your face on my computer screen filling my days with joy. Some of my favorite memories are your many stories on the horrific ways you should have died (The canada story is my favorite) and the amazing relationship you had with all the hosts (especially the holy trinity of you Elliott and Lee) I love the work you are doing now and I know so much greatness will come to you. 
Elliott Morgan: You have an amazing gift that no one else can match, your comitic timing is amazing, you are incredibly smart and witty and you are so damn perfect it makes my head hurt. I cried so hard during your last episode of comcom because i was so genuinely sad to see you go. However i still love your personal channel and I love the podcast with Lee (Oh and cant forget the excitement i had seeing you both on lipsync battles) I just wanted you to know how incredible you truly are. You may think that when you started everyone hated you but i loved you. (p.s. i’m single...your single. hit me up lol kidding) I am so excited to continue to watch your journey through life cause i know you are going to do such amazing and creative things. One of my all time favorite moments on sourcefed of you was the BooBee’s joke (don’t know why but it still makes me laugh) or your story with the detergent. both amazing and weird moments but perfect none the less.
Lee Newton: You are one of my biggest inspirations in life, you prove to the world that you are here to take change. There was not a lot of girls that looked like me when i was younger and then you came around and blew me away. Your beautiful you are so incredibly funny (and you influenced my jokes and proved that women can be just as funny or funnier then the men) When you left a small part of my heart went with you. But i know that it was the best move for you and now you can concour the world and take names while you do it. I just want to thank you so much for everything you have brought to my life and helping mold me into the person that i am today. I love you Lee. And good luck with the wedding (I loved the invitations). My favorite sourcefed moment with you would honestly be any truth or dare and i love your mad hatter and wrestler characters.
Steve Zaragoza: You are so wacky and crazy and just such a joy on the world. The knowledge and enthusiasm for all things nerd (especially the movies) is amazing. You bring just a joy and light to this world and i am really going to miss all of your dick and fart jokes. I know i will see you on other things but not seeing you in that building is going to be so hard. but i know that you are just going to take the world by storm weather the world wants it or not. My classic steve memory will always have to be “what is that a coffee machine” I know its not original but it is classic. Or of course Ben Franklin Time Traveler.
Trisha Hershburger: You are gorgeous and amazing and had a baby like 2 seconds ago and look like when you first started on sourcefed (which is incredible to me) You proved it was okay to be a nerd and a geek as a woman and i thank you for that. You brought a structure in the beginning which i think is super important especially at the beginning where you were all just trying to figure things out. I have loved seeing you thrive outside of sourcefed (as hard as it was to see you go) and see you meeting your dreams you always wanted to concur. Your little boy is amazingly cute (but who wouldn't have guessed that that was going to happen) and i’m just excited to see where life takes you. My favorite Trish moments were when you were on table talk and my favorite saying has to be the “no no” I use that on the daily and have for years now because of you.
Meg Turney: You are such a firecracker that brought so much love and knowledge to sourcefed. You introduced me to tons of anime i may not have ever seen before and gave light to the amazing-ness of cosplay and knowing that its okay to be your weird self. After seeing you i dyed my hair red and wanted nothing more then to be like you. When you left it was a different feeling for me then the others leaving simply because i knew you were going to Rooster Teeth and i would get to see you again and somehow being even more awesome as if that was possiable. My favorite memory involves you and Joe at the very end of a table talk when you and Gav were still in the early days Joe informed you on how #turnfree was not your ship name but that is #Gaeg or #Gag however he wished to spell it im not sure, however it made me laugh so hard and now i cant refer to y’alls relationship as #turnfree. And even though you left Rooster Teeth as well (which i a whole other blog post) I still will continue to follow and love you and perv out on your modeling pictures.
Ross Everett: You got shit on so much when you worked for sourcefed but i think that was so unfair of people to do to you cause you are very funny and creative. You brought a very different energy to the group that i think was needed and you are amazing. My favorite memory is the joke of you dating trisha’s baby and it made me smile so hard in the last table talk to see you finally see her baby. I also loved your periscopes.
Sam Bashor: You are the cutest little dork in the entire world. I feel like i grew up with you being similar ages and i loved watching you grow from a young little boy in a bow tie being the sweetest little guy in the entire world to this man that is so incredible and funny. You made it okay to be so into nerdy things and for that i thank you. I cant wait to see where this world will take you cause i know you will only do amazing things with your gifts. My favorite memory has to be any time you are with Maude (duh) and of course Sam chats and Sam has a point on the podcast. (And the Smaude kiss.....DAYUM)
Will Haynes: Like Sam i watched you grow up from this awkward little boy to afraid to be himself and grow up into  someone who simply doesn’t give a fuck and has been truly incredible comedian. You finally found yourself which is amazing and i’m so happy to see this side of you. I have loved seeing your fazes and seeing the other more senior comedians helping morph you into the person you are today. I cant wait to see what you do next.
Matt Leiberman: You brought something very different to the group, you were not afraid to be yourself and unashamed of who you were. You were an amazing host and incredible cook (which i always made the mistake of watching when i was hungry) and you are just such a sweet man who wants the best for people. You and your girlfriend are the cutest and i’m excited to see what comes next in your life.
Maude Garrett: You brought a new light to the new gen of Sourcefed Nerd. You are unbelievably stunning and amazing and so apologetically nerdy. I was never really into DnD until i saw you as the mauderator and you showed me a great and fun way to enjoy DnD, I’ve missed seeing you regularly on the channel but i know that one day you will take over this world and we will see nothing but you. Because you are simply that powerful and amazing. (Sidenote: The Smaude kiss at 1,000,000 was to
Steven Suptic: You are probably one of the weirdest people on this planet in the best way possible. We have very similar senses of humor and dont mind being the butt of the joke sometimes. You are one of the only people i think that would openly piss there own pants in a serious moment just for the giggle (i’m going to pretend it was on purpose in the last table talk) I loved you on Super Panic Frenzy with Reina and the podcast was the best. I know you will do great things with your channel and now you can do more stuff with the Mindcrackers on the plus side.
Whitney Moore: You are just the most beautiful little pixie i think i have ever seen. You are so goofy and funny and quickly became one of my new favorite hosts. You have a corky edge to you and yet somehow so very cool at the same time. I love your sense of humor and i just think you are incredible. I know that this will only be a stepping stone in your life and i’m interested to see what is next for you.
Bree Essrig: You I have been watching for the longest back in the old days of youtube seeing you with Shane Dawson and Steve Greene, you have always been able to put a smile on my face with the different characters you play. You are not afraid to be “one of the boys” for lack of a better phrase and you were someone i looked up too when i was a young teenager just trying to figure myself out. Then you moved to pop trigger which you were amazing on you had me in stitches anytime you were on, and then when you got hired to Sourcefed I was so giddy because I had followed you for so long and just watching you change and grow over these years has just been a blast. I can’t wait to see what weird shit you and Steve decide to make cause you are really the best comedic couple and i’m sure whatever you do it will be amazing.
Mike Falzone: You like Bree i have been watching for years I believe since around 2007 i believe which is crazy to think. Your stand up is amazing you have such a cool air to you (even when you are geeking so hard about Wrestling) and you are unbelievably talented. And on top of that being an incredible musician it is unfair how talented you are and you are just going to keep growing and growing and doing bigger and badder things all the time. My favorite memories is just seeing you riff off of Steve and Elliott the three of you is just comedy gold.
Ava Gordy: I may not have known you for as long as some of the other hosts however your impact was still just as grand. You seems like such a sweet and compassionate person who really cared for those around you and still did everything in just such a funny way. I will admit i haven't seen every video you have been in but now i have time to go back and look at all of them and i’m pumped because you are incredible and just deserve the best in life. And I loved you in the people be like episode about Netflix and Chill
Candace Carrizales: You also I have may not have known as long as the others but you can keep up with them just as well. Its hard being the youngest sometimes but you didn’t let it stop you.My favorite video has to be your two truths and a lie with Steve and i bought one of those ginger drinks after just cause i was curious and you were completely right. You are a delight and brought some more fun energy to the gang. I like your don’t give a fuck attitude and you are just gonna continue to grow and be amazing
And lastly
Dani Rosenberg: I couldn’t not mention to you in all of this you have been the rock in all of this and keeping people from destroying everything. Not only do you keep Phils shit together but then you deal with all the people at Sourcefed and Sourcefednerd which i am sure is almost an impossible task. You have been a strong force behind all of this and i don’t think you get the credit you deserve you are amazing and beautiful and one of the most bad ass people on this whole planet. thank you for being you. And may i just say whenever i saw you in a thumbnail for table talk i have never clicked harder and faster then in those moments. 
Final thoughts... One i’m sure the last 3ish hours i spent free handing this at work was well spent. I am going to miss these channels and people so very much and i cant tank each and every one of them enough. I love you all from the bottom of my heart and i hope to see you do the incredible things i know you are capable of. Good luck in future indevers and i will still go back every day and re watch the old videos cause they are still hilarious and can make me smile at the drop of a hat. thank you. also if my grammar sucked i apologize 2 hours of sleep and just writing as i went along.
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dickie-gayson · 7 years
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Writing Self-Evaluation for 2016 for @dickie-gayson 
Tagged by @camsthisky, thanks!
So, I realized I only published one story last year, holy shit. The rest is either A) Unfinished, B) That Bad I Gave Up, or C) Roleplaying stuff (excuses excuses). Jeeeeeze, I need to step up my story game lol 
1. Lists of works published this year (2016):
Mori Shej (FF.net/Ao3) It’s a Jason and Dick angsty hurt/comfort fic. 
2. Work you are most proud of (and why):
Well, seeing as Mori Shej is my only published one, it’d have to be that. However, I am still pretty proud of it. It’s not my best work, but it was a story I wrote on a whim and it’s addressing serious issues DC seems to overlook involving two of my favorite characters. 
3. Work you are least proud of (and why):
The only option would be Mori Shej again, though there’s a reason some of those stories remain unpublished lmao In regards to Mori Shej, it’s taken a turn that I wasn’t anticipating, which is something I both love and hate. I love the growth of a story, seeing it expand and take a sort of life of its own. I hate it just a bit, as then what was originally planned needs to be rethought.
4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:
Mori Shej:
“You’re wrong. He wasn’t a failure.” He said it with such conviction, Jason could almost believe he meant it. But no, that was just that stupid hero-complex Dick had going on. Robin died and Dick had to make a martyr of him, the asshole. Jason let out a sharp laugh at his words. “Went off and got killed by a fuckin’ clown. Sounds like a failure to me.” It looked like Dick was just barely keeping himself from lashing out again. He really did look a hairsbreadth away from completely losing it. It was hard to revel in that when Jason was barely keeping it together himself. 
5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:
Oooh man, that’s difficult cus I got some p funny and good reviews. I’m cheating and putting more than one cus I feel like a proud mama. ‘Why don't you just walk right up to me and punch me in the throat? This hits right in the honney nut feele'os. This was fantastic and I really enjoyed reading it.’
‘you wrecked my soul and i am emotionally unstable after reading this. absolutely brilliant piece of writing and trading my soul for this is just worth it. thank you for writing it‘
Somebody else said their boss caught them crying at work bcus of what I wrote. The reviews most certainly made my day. 
6. A time when writing was really, really hard:
Honestly, writing for the past few years has gotten increasingly difficult for me, hence the general lack of published work. A few years back, my mother passed away from cancer and I’ve been helping raise my younger siblings as a result. That, combined with my various disorders, and a plethora of drama has made sitting and just writing feel impossible. But, on the bright side, I thiiink I’m starting to get a bit better. I’ve gotten more done in the past few months than the past few years combined.
7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:
Writing Jason in general has been a surprise for me. I never expected the pov to be predominately his or to channel him as much as I do. I expected it to be Dick, for obvious reasons, but he seems to be significantly harder for me to write.
8. How did you grow as a writer this year:
For starters, I actually wrote lmao Seriously, though, I think I have grown a bit. I used to be very guilty of overly flowery writing and describing far too much. Let me dredge up an ooold example (2011):
“Screams. Oh, the screams! Grotesque wails so brittle they cracked the air like a cat o' nine cutting the soft flesh of silence. A wicked sound that crawled its way up your spine and into your brain. Its rapacious claws tore away at your sanity and sent you into a rabid frenzy of abject misfortunes. It was a symphony of horrid screeches and wails ranging from deep baritones to high falsettos.”
I was so fucking Extra™.  I’ve chilled in my writing. Toned it down and made it stop looking like I ate a thesaurus lmao
9. How do you hope to grow next year:
I’m hoping to write more in general. I’d also like to get better at pacing and keeping my stories on track. (also I need to get my ass working on paying attention to the tenses I use)
10. Who was your positive influence as a writer (could be another writer or cheerleader or muse etc etc):
Oooh my friend Syn is so good at encouraging me to keep going and also the best roleplay partner. Ily v much
My little sister is also a great cheerleader! I’ve got a friend irl who always asks me how my writing’s going, which is touching because she’s not a big reader but is always interested to know how I’m doing.
Most of my influences are other roleplay partners (I’ve been rping since ‘07 ngl) and they’ve really helped me develop through the years.
11. Anything from real life show up in your writing this year:
Nah, nothing that I could think of that I wrote. That might change this year, though.
12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:
As corny as it sounds, and it’s not new at all, but don’t give up. Not on yourself or your writing. If you look at your writing and you feel its inadequate compared to others, just remember: we all start somewhere. I have some of my earliest writings saved, and let me tell you, I’m glad I didn’t give up. The improvements I’ve made were gradually and I hardly noticed it happening, but it did happen. Keeping pushing on and you’ll get to the point you want to, or at least be that much closer to it. Perseverance does pay off.
13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:
I’m looking forward to finishing Mori Shej!
I’m also looking forward to starting some more Batfam stories, such as my Talon!Dick and AK!Jason story, BatKids Shenanigans, The Crow crossover, and some AUs. There’s a bunch of ideas stewing in my head. 
Not to mention, I’m both eager and nervous to start my own original works.
14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read: 
if you three are down for it! @thegalacticpope @haunt-the-stars @therutherfordwife
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 Jennifer Love Hewitt uses her namesake holiday of Valentine’s Day to attempt to revive her long dead career by posing nude in white fishnet stockings in the photo above.
 Of course Valentine’s Day is perhaps the most blasphemous of all heathen holidays, for not only is the idea of romantic love between a man and a woman forbidden by the holy Qur’an, but the whole concept is utterly absurd. For how could a man in his right mind ever truly love a simple-minded creature like a woman? That would be like professing one’s love for a pair of sandals, tunic, or some other useful but ultimately completely replaceable possession.
 Yes the Western concept of love is certainly a ridiculous and offensive one, just like the idea that Jennifer Love Hewitt could spread her legs and expose her nasty banged out sin slit and people would like her again. When Islam finishes conquering the West you better believe we will quickly do away with both Valentine’s Day and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
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Published on Aug 20, 2018
 Please use this video to wake up friends and family from the spell they are under. The whole worlds a stage and they have tricked all of us. All world leaders, religious heads, rich, and famous are being controlled by Lucifer/Satan. They are collectors of souls.
 They willingly gave their lives over to Lucifer so they could have their treasures here on earth. They are required to trick as many as they can into following them into the pit as part of their agreement with the devil.
 Under The Spell Of Hollywood Part 1 - https://youtu.be/Cbwfkm4ewOw
 Time is short. Choose now who will you serve. Jesus Christ who will give you everlasting life or Satan who hates humanity and wants to see us all destroyed.
 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12
 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10
 This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief. 1 Timothy 1:15
 I use to walk in the darkness myself. Jesus pulled me out of the fire after 30+ years of living in this wicked world. - SMH
 Remember what Jesus said: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Luke 5:32
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 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. John 14:6  “In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;” Ephesians 1:7 God bless you and your families. Know Jesus! Repent of your sins daily. Let the Potter mold his clay into something wonderful.
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https://youtu.be/CUfk2k4nT7c UNDER THE SPELL OF HOLLYWOOD 2 by Shaking My Head Productions
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 https://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/a17447021/katy-perry-and-orlando-bloom-back-together-report/
https://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/a17447021/katy-perry-and-orlando-bloom-back-together-report/
https://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/a14768851/exes-katy-perry-and-orlando-bloom-in-the-maldives/
https://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/a23581094/orlando-bloom-katy-perry-proposal-talk/
https://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/a23480991/katy-perry-orlando-bloom-red-carpet-debut-monte-carlo-gala/
https://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/a23480991/katy-perry-orlando-bloom-red-carpet-debut-monte-carlo-gala/
https://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/a21049270/katy-perry-accidentally-left-nsfw-comment-on-orlando-bloom-instagram-relationship-update/
https://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/a22800584/ariana-grande-katy-perry-instagram-comment-coat-exchange  
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CANADA is a MOSAIC - BOTTOMS UP from here - USA INTERNET SUCKS - HOUSE of CARDS - like the FEDERAL RESERVE kinakwii151515 - http://serenityglobal.net/kinakwii151515.htm Kinakwii – A Confederacy of Nations - END GAME http://kinakwii.org I am PISSED OFF - WASTED my LIFE EXPOSING this SHIT and everyone is still asleep - FEMASURVIVOR - https://plus.google.com/u/0/107553120169677169674/posts // WOMAN was left out of the MONEY SYSTEM - what the FUCK is that all about /// I have the 9 for the WOMEN -the men 6 - //// women CHOOSE who to trade with - we are not SLAVES to MEN anymore /// I have first nations support and the GOOD MEN behind me /// I only want a PIECE of the PIE ( to teach orphans - not wanting to RULE the ROOST - that should be TRIBAL - OJIBWE) /// If the MONEY SYSTEM wants to LIE and IGNORE US - I am IGNORING the NWO - ILLEGAL FED DIED in 12 21 2012 - BURY the BEAST already . HUMAN ASSASSIN BLACK MAJICK BABY EATING BLACK MADONNAs, ANGELINA JOLIE and SHERRIE LEA LAIRD - GREAT ROLE MODELs for the LIZARD in LONDON UK indeed. 101 ILLUMINATREEE PINDAR RED DRAGON Tonya Kane, NWO, FREEMASON, 666 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaQ0AzWJuew&list=PLDW0IFANgxp0W4bH0-BiNDNtDbKL1_s0y //// ExopoliTICS, FALSE DAWN and TRUE BROTHER BAHANA Robert Morning Sky https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMYdNBVrVl0 DRACO stay in the CITIES and CLEAN up their SHIT // the GOAT of MENDES - CHERYL MENEZES and HILTON MIJOVICK (ST GERMAIN ) should have done this EARTH PARTY in 2008 but I was thrown in jail on FALSE CHARGES by these 2 goons and they either FIX the MESS of MY PAST or they go to JAIL / http://www.serenitystreetnews.com/HERSTORY%20CRAMNOTES/5dterra/ // https://www.facebook.com/danusia.horochowska/posts/401346200034558 I need bounty hunters and I am not trading for GOLD - I don't need GOLD! GROW HEMP and other medicinals = that is our COIN /// ONTARIO OTTAWA 151515 - ENGLISH FRENCH FIRST NATION = BOB MARLEY STYLE - RASTAFARIAN GLOBAL SERENITY movement - I go to POLAND to free the MEEK // EUROPE from there // NOT INCLUDING the TARES - that can go with the PEDOPHILES into a CAGE and VERICHIPPED for PROJECT CLEAN UP THE MESS /// I AM the LOONY LUNA WHITE BUFFALO - HORUS COW SKY - TRIBE of DANU - GRANDMOTHER - CANADA // tribe of DAN is JUDGE in the LAST DAYS // https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLNn2YflwNs /'///  http://www.serenitystreetnews.com/HERSTORY%20CRAMNOTES/ Ur America, 7thfire.biz, 8thfire.biz, jrgenius.ca, cyberclass.net, serenityglobal.net, canadastreetnews.biz, uramerica.ca, serenitystreetnews.com, Dana Horochowski, Mark Anthony Standley
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RE: #IG @KatherynElizabethHudson @katyperry  <3:xD my wife since 06/06/2014 #IG @goddessqueenisis to date unless she has been; 'It’s so easy to run you under the Bus!' as she sang for her last husband my friend Russel Brand he of sexting fame on New Year’s Eve to Katy with the filing for divorce and bailing out of my Illuminati Goddess Isis's 'vapid, excessive, frivolous, demeaning, sex drugs and rock n roll lifestyle' because in 2014 I answered my daughters wish for me her Father to be re-united with her Mother that is Katycat Hudson herself and after selling my https://www.twitter.com/KatyIsMyBaby666  record collection to pay for my education I have not received a hard copy of my Emeritus Professorship after nearly 5 years at the Katy Perry Music University online and in person by my wife Katheryn .
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http://serenitystreetnews.com/ - Made in cANADa! http://cyberclass.net/ http://7thfire.biz/12312013.htm  Jamzen, Antichrist, werewolf, VERICHIP, MONTAUK, RAPE, SOUL EATER, ENKI, NIBIRU, LUCIFER, NWO, 666, ST PAUL, APOLLYON JAMZEN says he is ST PAUL - bringing in ENKI now.. https://www.facebook.com/dana.horochowski/posts/10153719153405556 http://www.youtube.com/user/ThisIsNotAnonymous thE cOdE brEAkEr ExOrcIsIng hIddEn cOntrOllers https://www.facebook.com/cousinscoveja?fref=ts?  Dec 2013 news - by Dana Horochowski MARdi 12 31 2013 - SAM- SON - JEWpeter - Great Pirate - NIBIRU - IBIRU - JEWS - HEBREWS = PETRUS ROMANUS will deal with you http://7thfire.biz/samsun666.htm
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 According to this article below, The 11 year old Katheryn Hudson, the Core personality, was shoved aside and the Ancestral Demon Katy Perry took over. Now, that Core Personality is fighting back because her Parents tried to raise her right! Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
https://youtu.be/KJ5NIGAQ9XA ROB PATTINSON KATY PERRY PUBLIC AFFAIR
https://youtu.be/KJ5NIGAQ9XA
I have already written a https://radaronline.com/photos/lsd-feuds-satanism-katy-perrys-parents-expose-dirty-family-secrets-in-epic-rant/
 http://www.exposingsatanism.org/katheryn-hudson-a-k-a-katy-perry-to-engage-in-a-new-age-witchcraft-soul-overhaul/
http://www.exposingsatanism.org/katheryn-hudson-the-core-personality-fighting-back-katy-perry-is-an-ancestral-demon/
http://www.exposingsatanism.org/generational-ancestral-and-family-curses-introduction/
https://dai.ly/x6v2dy3 korlando
https://binged.it/2DbUTc9 kabloomupdates
https://binged.it/2DbUTc9
 Katy Perry – Exposing Satanism and Witchcraft
https://www.exposingsatanism.org/category/music-movies-hollywood/katy-perry/
The Butch posted an image of her ogling deviate and Satanist Katy Perry's ample Breasts. Judging from the Lesbian wife next to her, DeGenerate clearly …
Katy Perry Rejects Christianity – Exposing Satanism and Witchcraft
https://www.exposingsatanism.org/katy-perry-rejects-christianity/
Satan! Jon Watkins Exposing Satanism and Witchcraft January 3, 2014. Are you one of those Katy Perry worshipers? If you are, then you are not going to like ...
Everything that happens in the world of pop is a secret satanic ritual ...
http://www.digitalspy.com/music/feature/a786419/everything-that-happens-in-the-world-of-pop-is-a-secret-satanic-ritual-even-adele-and-rihanna-are-in-on-it/
Sep 12, 2016 ... Katy Perry very nearly fooled us all with her adorable Left Shark fluffing its dance routine during her Super Bowl spectacular in 2015, but as this ...
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theliterateape · 7 years
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A Death in the Dining Room
By David Himmel
It was years ago, four days before Christmas. Dad was making a fire and had been drunk since we finished the last bit of turkey on Thanksgiving. Janice, Dad’s new wife, seemed high on Ritalin. Maybe it was cocaine. She was running around the house, straightening the perfectly hung stockings, adjusting the garland on the tree, and opening and closing the oven door, basting and re-basting the ham. My brother, Richie was locked in the basement on the computer doing God knows what. I always assumed Internet chess, but it was probably porn. He was fourteen; he could be doing any number of things. I was in the family room flipping channels between football and the MTV top 100 videos of 2002.
Our family holiday party was that night, and we were at crunch time before all the relatives started to show up to drink Dad’s scotch, muss Janice’s stockings and ask over and over again, “Where’s Richie?” Since Dad married Janice two years ago after mom ran off with her secretary (a mirror image of cliché, I know and a bold step forward for fifth wave feminism), she felt it necessary to overcompensate by hosting a big family reunion around Christmas.
“Come on you guys,” she said to the three of us the first year, “family is the most important thing. It’s the only sure thing in life.”
I didn’t know what she meant by that. I mean, let’s not forget that Janice is my dad’s second wife after his first—my mother—left all of us. And we seemed to do just fine before these parties. I was raised seeing any percentage of the extended family maybe once a year and normally only if someone died. But Janice was gung-ho about bringing the entire Daniels family together at Christmastime.
Maybe it was because she had no family, at least no family that any of us knew about. At the wedding, her friend from college was the only guest on her side, and good of my debonair cousin, Ronnie, to have sex with her that night. Janice was twenty-four years old, which was twenty years younger than Dad, and only seven years older than me. She had to play the part of a homemaker if Richie or I were ever going to call her “Mom.” Well, I didn’t buy it and Richie… well, I don’t think he put one iota of thought into it.
“This goddamned fire won’t start!” Dad cursed, the butt of his corduroy pants facing me on the couch.
“Larry, that’s not very nice holiday language now, is it? Andrew, help your father,” Janice said from the kitchen as she finished re-folding all the dishtowels.
Dad turned to me, “She can kiss my goddamned ass is what she can do.” He threw the log into the fireplace, grabbed his drink and sat next to me. Janice came out and leaned down to Dad, whispered something in his ear, patted his leg and then went to the front hall closet to get the vacuum. Dad smiled and threw back the rest of his scotch and water. I could only imagine she said something about sex if he improved his behavior.
After a half hour or so of Janice vacuuming the front hall, Dad’s brother, Uncle Brian and his wife, Aunt Susie and their twins, Michael and Renee, came charging through the front door. Janice turned off the vacuum when she saw them.
“What. No one can answer a door around here? We were knocking for five minutes! It’s cold out there don’t cha know,” Uncle Brian said. “Merry Christmas Janice!” He gave her a big hug and a pat on the butt. “It looks great in here!” He held his overcoat out for someone to take it.
“The house Brian, or her ass?” Aunt Susie scorned.
“Oh, come on, Susie. Merry Christmas dear,” said Janice. “Andrew? Would you please take the coats up to Richie’s room and throw them on the bed?”
I gave the kids a high five, told them to find Richie in the basement—they were about the same age—hugged Uncle Brian and Aunt Susie, took their coats and ran upstairs. Brian was Dad’s older brother. He was a pretty happy guy, but kind of a slime ball. He’d been in sales all his life and no doubt hadn’t been loyal to Susie one day of their marriage. On their wedding night, he felt up her sister in the bathroom at the reception, or so the story went. As I came back downstairs, the door was a steady flow like the gates of hell letting its demons out. Everyone else showed up at once. Grandpa Joe and Nana; Dad and Uncle Brian’s younger sister; Sharon, and her husband Doug with their six hyperactive kids. I swear, Sharon must have had a kid then had sex as soon as the doctors left the room. And the six of them functioned as one big swarm of angry Africanized bees. They were fun to watch because they drove Janice nuts. Her OCD was no match for the power of the Sinister Six.
After sitting in the living room listening to Grandpa Joe bitch at Dad for not making a fire, and letting Uncle Brian pull eleven dollars worth of quarters from my ear, Uncle Doug suggested we eat. “The ham smells great,” he hinted.
“Where’s Richie?” Nana asked.
“I think he’s in the basement with Michael and Renee,” I said.
“Well, call them up, Sweetie. We’re going to eat now. Go on.”
“We can’t eat just yet. Simon isn’t here,” Janice told everyone as she blew out and relit the candle on the coffee table. “Ooo… these wicks never burn right.”
We sat around for another hour discussing the awkward social life Richie must have because, “He lives in that basement and is always on those computer games,” Nana said. The Sinister Six continued to run up and down the stairs, around the dining room table, jumping over our legs and screaming shrills of laughter and possibly code. They eventually knocked over the Christmas tree.
“Oh Janice! I’m so terribly sorry,” Sharon said.
“My tinsel!” Janice cried.
“Sometimes these kids can just be such a handful. I wish I could just give them away,” Aunt Sharon said.
Dad laughed as he made another drink at the wet bar. Janice, Aunt Sharon, Aunt Susie, and Grandpa Joe set the tree back up and started cleaning the rest of the mess.
Just then my cousin Simon burst through the door. “Simon!” Janice shouted. “Your shoes!” He was covered in something dark and thick and he had tracked it on the carpet.
Simon, who was about the same age as Janice, was Uncle Brian’s and Aunt Susie’s oldest. A raging drunk and all-around loser, he had dropped out of college after one semester and came to work for Dad at the sheet metal company. Dad loved Simon despite him either not showing up on jobs or passing out drunk when he did show up. Maybe Dad felt sorry for him. Maybe he liked the idea of tending to the wounded animal. Maybe he saw some latent potential. I don’t know. But I always figured Simon would eventually do something that would totally screw over the business and the family.
Nana and Sharon ran to him checking to see if he was okay. Uncle Brian went outside.
“So, what the hell happened to you?” Dad said.
Brian came back in, “Larry, you gotta see this.” Dad got up and the rest of us followed, except for Janice, she stayed inside spraying the carpet around Simon’s feet with stain remover. Outside, Simon’s Toyota Corolla was parked halfway on the sidewalk and the entire front end had been mashed in. The windshield was cracked and smeared with blood.
“Oh God!” Aunt Susie shouted.
“Simon, what the hell?” said Dad again.
Simon, sat on the curb and pointed to the middle of the street. “Oh, holy shit!” Uncle Brian said as he ran to the mangled lump of something in the street. We all followed, except Janice who was still inside cleaning the carpet. Then I heard the vacuum start up again.
A man wearing a Santa Claus suit lay in the road. His body was mangled. The blood pool was still growing under and around him. His arm was tucked underneath his back and his face looked like it had been smashed in with a waffle iron. Or a Toyota Corolla.
His blood was turning Janice’s white Egyptian cotton bed sheets a deep red-purple. The wetness was dripping onto the floor, into the carpet.
“Is he… did I kill Santa?” Simon said through drunken sobs.
Uncle Brian leaned over Santa to listen for a breath and check a pulse. He was just barely alive. He poked at him with the toe of his shoe. Blood bubbled out of Santa’s mouth. Everyone jumped back three feet.
“Goddamnit. Well, what do we do?” Dad asked.
“We need to get him inside—now,” said Uncle Brian.
“I’ll help you carry him,” Uncle Doug said.
“Alright, Sharon and I will get some blankets,” said Aunt Susie.
“Oh no, you will not use my blankets!” Janice said from the doorway. “Simon already ruined my carpet. No way!”
“Goddamnit Janice, keep it down,” Dad said.
Dad and Uncle Brian started to pick Santa up. “Why don’t we just call an ambulance?” I asked.
“Because Andrew, Simon is drunk. I’m not having one of my workers go to jail on a DUI,” Dad said. “We’ll never win another bid again, and do you know what that would do to our insurance?
“No sense in making more trouble for us,” said Uncle Brian.
“Family has to look out for each other,” said Aunt Sharon.
“Oh, Simon…” Aunt Susie said shamefully.
Janice did everything she could to keep Aunt Sharon and Aunt Susie from getting her blankets and simultaneously tried to keep Dad and Brian and the dying Santa Claus out of the house. Nana and Grandpa Joe rushed the Sinister Six into the basement with Richie, Michael and Renee. Uncle Doug cleared off the dining room table. Dad and Uncle Brian laid Santa on top. He let out another cough and what sounded like, “Help.” His blood was turning Janice’s white Egyptian cotton bed sheets a deep red-purple. The wetness was dripping onto the floor, into the carpet.
Aunt Sharon ignored Janice’s pleas to find another way to keep the floor clean that didn’t include using her best towels. Janice was crying now and looked like a 1950s housewife going through pill withdraws. She was scrubbing the carpet and wringing out the bloodied blankets and towels into buckets.
Santa was dying. I knew it. There was no way around it.
His eyes began to sink into his head and as he stared through all of us to the ceiling, they became listless. Blank. I never knew one person could have so much blood in their body to lose. It didn’t slow its spilling out for but a moment, even with all the blankets we’d wrapped him in. His hands were looking gray from all the blood loss. The carpet was making a squishing noise as it soaked it all in. It sounded like a soapy sponge being rung out. I could feel the wetness with every step. And no one would listen to me. No one would call the hospital.
No one wanted Simon to get into trouble. He just stood there, like a scared puppy ready for a beating after chewing up a favorite pair of shoes. And then it hit me: Who was this guy? What was he doing in a Santa suit and why hadn’t any of us thought to take his beard off?
I grabbed it. It was drenched in sweat and blood, fastened around his ears with an elastic strap. I lifted it over his head and he looked at me. I think he was thanking me with his eyes, because he took a deep breath of air like he’d been having trouble breathing then he winced. His face was so swollen and bloodied that none of us could tell who he was.
“Simon! What the fuck happened?” I shouted as I started to cry.
“Watch your mouth, Andrew!” Janice said as she put on a new pair of rubber dishwashing gloves.
As Santa bled out and our carpet became soggier, Janice worked feverishly to keep things in as much order as she could. Uncle Brian and Aunt Susie did their best to reassure Simon that everything was going to be fine. I was concentrated on Santa’s face. Who had Simon killed? He wasn’t dead yet, but it wouldn’t be long. Even if we called 9-1-1 right then and the ambulance instantly showed up, he had lost too much blood. And he probably had a punctured lung or a ruptured spleen or internal bleeding or all three, or more.
But still, I tried to reason, “We need to get help.”
Then Richie came up from the basement. He took one look at Santa. “It’s Mr. Spayer,” he said. 
Of course. Mr. Spayer lived a few houses down from ours, across from the Fitzgeralds. Mr. Fitzgerald died of cancer over the summer and Mr. Spayer had been spending a lot of time at their house as, I guess, a male figure for the three young Fitzgerald sons, and to help Mrs. Fitzgerald out in any way she needed. Mr. Spayer was the nicest man in town. Of course he was dressed like Santa.
Janice ran to Richie and hugged him and started straightening his clothes and hair. “Is that what you’re going to wear to our family holiday party?”
“Goddammit Janice,” Dad said.
“I saw the whole thing,” Richie said.
“How?” I asked.
Just then, Grandpa walked up from the basement. “You should see the set up that kid’s got down there. There’s more shit than we had during the war.”
I knew Richie was into computers, but as it turned out, he was always one step ahead of everyone in the neighborhood. My little brother was an amateur spy. He had installed tiny cameras and microphones throughout the house. Somehow, he’d managed to place them in the few locations Janice didn’t dust daily. He set up cameras up and down our block creating a surveillance system of the whole block. He never left the basement because he didn’t have to.
All of us but Janice went into the basement where Richie played back the tape of the accident. Our house sat a half block from a tight curve. Simon, drunk, and the roads icy, lost control. He hit a patch of ice on the turn, fishtailed a few feet before regaining control, then sped up and ran into Santa as he was crossing the street after leaving the Fitzgera;ds' house. Simon was moving so fast, it was a miracle he didn’t plow through the front of our house.
“Now that we know it’s not Santa and he won’t magically get better, can we please call someone?” I pleaded.
“No. Let him die,” Uncle Doug said. “There’s nothing anyone can do now. We just have to accept that. We need to get Simon’s car out of here. Richie, has anyone been outside since the accident?”
“Not since I’ve been watching the cameras. But someone may have seen it through a window. The cameras aren’t that good. I’m saving up for higher end stuff.”
“Speaking of that,” Dad chimed in, “how have you paid for all this stuff?”
“Your bank card. I memorized the number.”
“How come I didn’t notice it?”
“Probably because you haven’t balanced your check book in years. And you’re always drunk,” Richie said.
Dad laughed and toasted Uncle Brian. “The kid’s got a point.”
Was this happening? Were causal jokes being thrown around our living room with a dead man in it? A dead man my cousin ran over? Where did this sadistic behavior come from? And did it skip a generation? Obviously not, Richie was now in on it. My kid brother, an accomplice. I went back into my initial shock.
“Alright, so we can move Santa into Simon’s car. Is it drivable? Simon?”
“Huh? Yeah, I think so.”
“So we’ll put Santa, the blankets, and the carpet in his car, take it to the CalSag and dump it all in the channel.”
“You idiot, Doug,” Aunt Sharon said. “What about the neighbors. Our little spy here isn’t sure about no one seeing us. And what if they find the car? Huh? What about the VIN? Registration?”
Dad suggested that they bring Simon’s car to the sheet metal shop and strip it of all serial numbers and VINs. They can get rid of the license plates at the quarry on the way to the channel. “After all,” he said, “you don’t want to get pulled over for not having the proper registration, especially with a dead Claus in the trunk.”
And so they all got to work. The car was moved. Grandpa helped wrap up the mostly dead Mr. Spayer in the blankets and put him in the garage. Nana kept all the kids in the basement where they watched from Richie’s command center. I asked Richie if he wanted popcorn to watch the show. He gave me the finger. Aunt Susie, Aunt Sharon and Janice worked on tearing up the carpet and padding. Mostly Janice picked up the little carpet pieces from the floor. The blood had soaked through the pad to the floor. I watched, locked in my shock. The way Janice was scrubbing every surface, I realized that she was the perfect person to have on hand when covering up a murder.
I tried reasoning with them again. No one would listen. Dad even asked me to get him another drink. “Me too, pal,” Uncle Brian said. Then I gave them the finger. I went to sit out back on the porch where Simon was hiding. We didn’t say anything for maybe fifteen minutes. All that I could think about was how horrible it was that Mr. Spayer had to spend his last moments on Earth in the hands a family full of sociopaths—a family that let him die. A family that killed him. My guilt was building.
But I couldn’t do anything. Or could I have? Simon sobered up as we sat there staring at the stars, me looking for some excuse I could use to tell myself so that I could live with myself. I imagined that Simon was doing the same. Finally, I turned to him and said, “You’re a murderer. You know that right?”
“Yeah. So are you.”
We all were. Simon, Dad, Janice, Uncle Brian, Aunt Susie, Aunt Sharon, Uncle Doug Grandpa Joe and Nana. Even Richie. My 14-year-old brother had seen all this happening. Watching it like a voyeuristic freak and didn’t do anything. But then again, neither did I. Simon was right.
“I hope you’re not vomiting on my new floor mat!” she said from the bottom of the stairs.
An hour later, Mr. Spayer was now a cold bluish color. He looked like he was completely drained of all of his blood. With him and the blankets and the towels and the soaked sections of carpet and padding packed into the car, they were ready to move him.
Uncle Brian wanted to be sure the car and body were dumped before daylight. I was concerned about Mr. Spayer missing. How could no one have heard the hit? How could the Fitzgeralds not have wondered what happened to Santa Claus? Richie assured everyone—except me—that Mr. Spayer lived alone, had no family and that the Fitzgeralds hadn’t so much as come to the window when the crash occurred. My baby brother: the Wicked Omnipotent Richard. I felt sick.
Uncle Brian and Simon took the car to the shop to be stripped and then to the CalSag Channel to be dumped. Dad and Uncle Doug followed. It was just Janice, Richie and me in the house. Everyone else had gone home. I was in the upstairs bathroom debating if I should throw up or climb out of the window and run to the police. Janice was shouting to me to get out of the bathroom and help her clean. “I hope you’re not vomiting on my new floor mat!” she said from the bottom of the stairs.
Christmas morning, we opened our presents with little enthusiasm. With every torn ribbon, Dad refilled his glass with scotch and a splash of water. Richie knew what every gift was—he’d seen us wrap them. Janice couldn’t stop staring at the bare floor under and around the dining room table. And I couldn’t stop thinking about all of the blood that was spilled in that room just four days before. I kept waiting for the doors and windows to break open with the S.W.A.T. team flying through on lines from helicopters, guns blazing and ready to take us in. In my mind, the rest of the family was already captive, bound and gagged in the paddy wagon. I kept telling myself it was only a matter of time.
In the afternoon, we went to Uncle Brian’s and Aunt Susie’s to open gifts with the rest of the family. At their house my imagination went from reasonable S.W.A.T. attacks to visions of a team of detectives knocking on the door. Dad would answer and a detective would immediately shoot him in the chest. One would call for backup while the other came into the living room. He would tell all of us to remain still and quiet. Uncle Doug would dash for the back door and the detective would put six rounds into the back of his head. The rest of us would be taken into custody and marched straight down Death Row. No trial—it wouldn’t be needed. The entire long walk, Janice would complain about the dirt. There would be eighteen electric chairs lined up, one chair for each member of my family including the Sinister Six. A cop dressed like Santa Claus, just to add a little insult to their punishment, would throw the switch. Everyone would squirm and scream as they cooked and burned. Everyone but me. I wouldn’t get a chair. I would be made to watch them slowly and torturously die just like I did with Mr. Spayer. Once they were dead, Santa would walk to me, put a shotgun in my mouth and kill me. I would hear the bang then see Santa through the hole in my head as my still working eyes slid down the wall behind me.
After the party, we drove straight home. Aside from Dad’s occasional, “Goddamnit” in traffic, we were silent. As we turned onto our street, we saw the lights. There were two cop cars outside of the Fitzgeralds’. One was an unmarked detective’s car, the other a cruiser. We pulled into our garage. Dad, Janice, and Richie ran into the house. I stood in the garage looking at the cops talking to Mrs. Fitzgerald and her new husband, whatever his name was. She pointed to me, or our house, or both. The cops turned and looked at me. They shook hands with Mrs. Fitzgerald and her new husband. I saw the detective give him a business card. Then they walked across the street right to me.
“Hello, son,” the detective said as he looked around, I think noticing one of Richie’s cameras. “Are your parents home?”
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