#holy shit i just realized this was my first Wanting album

[lonelyplanetfag]

hello:)

[steddielations]

Steve acts on instinct.

There’s this guy in all black walking in front of him, he’s too busy looking down at his phone to notice, but Steve doesn’t trust that lamppost. He’s been going for daily runs, he likes to keep it simple during the off-season, and that post has been getting more rickety every day. Now it’s swaying dangerously in the wind and he knows it’s about to tumble.

There’s no time to call out to the guy, so Steve just plows forward and tackles him out of the way.

They fall in a messy heap and Steve unfortunately lands heavily on top.

“Holy shit! What the— ugh!” The guy heaves in pain and Steve hurries to scramble off of him.

“Sorry, that post was about to fall on you, man. You alright?”

Pieces of grass stick to the guy’s long hair as he takes stock of Steve and what happened. With a labored breath, he surprisingly jokes, “Guess I’m lucky the best football tackler alive happened to be right behind me.”

It’s sarcastic as shit but Steve smiles with a tug of amusement as he offers his hand. “Baseball, actually.”

“You’re in the wrong league, man,” he lets Steve pull him to his feet and groans on the way up. “Well, nice to meet you, Baseball, you pack a hell of a first impression. I’m Eddie.”

Steve would appreciate his ability to joke so soon after taking a hit, but people are starting to gather around. There’s already phones pointed at them that probably caught the whole thing on camera. Steve’s used to public attention by now, knows the press is going to have a field day with this and he hates causing a scene, but he wants to make sure Eddie is okay.

“Just Steve is good. You wanna…? This way,” he gestures toward the sidewalk and thankfully, Eddie seems just as eager to get out of there too, shuffling next to Steve as they round the corner.

He’s wearing so much metal jewelry, it’s like a costume, the jingle jangle of his every step accentuating how shaken up he seems. They get far enough behind a building and Steve stops to have a real look at him and… well he’s interesting to look at.

It’s like he hopped off the album cover of an 80s rock band, or one of Steve’s Bon Jovi posters that he hid under his bed in high school. Way too much leather and way too much hair for the California sun, all disheveled with grass and dirt.

“You sure you’re okay? Here, you got a little…” Steve’s hand hovers until Eddie nods that it’s okay from him to pluck the grass from his hair and lightly brush the dust from his shoulders. Eddie watches him the whole time, his eyes big and dark, an intensity in them that Steve can’t quite read but he can feel. “Didn’t hit your head or anything, did you?”

Steve lowers his hands, stepping back a little when he realizes how close they are. Eddie’s eyes follow him, a slight quirk to his lips that makes Steve feel the heat of the sun a little warmer on his face.

“I’m touched by your concern, sweetheart, but my brain has been through worse damage than a little bump.”

Steve frowns at the ladder, but the first bit definitely makes him feel the heat. He’s admittedly a bit out of practice but he can still recognize a come on. One that he definitely invited with all the touching and indulgent looks.

Then Eddie starts profusely thanking him for the whole ordeal, asking to treat him somewhere nearby for lunch. It’s not that Steve doesn’t want to, he’s very interested actually, and thankful that out of all the jewelry Eddie’s sporting, there’s no wedding ring. That’s why he’s reluctant because he’s all sweaty at the moment. Not to mention, he didn’t finish his run yet.

“Surely saving my life was enough cardio,” Eddie jokes lightly and Steve snorts.

“I saved you from a minor concussion, maybe,” and okay he’s gotta accept now.

The place is small and unassuming, burgers and sodas type joint. Steve’s likely to be recognized there, which he doesn’t mind meeting fans in public just preferably not now, it might be jarring for Eddie.

He heads for the booth tucked in the back corner, the most private looking spot that Steve had his eyes on too. They get a round of sodas from the waitress and right away, Eddie starts thanking him again.

“I noticed that lamppost wobbling days ago,” Steve sparks a conversation instead of accepting any more thanks, “I was planning to let it fall on me so I could sue the shit out of the city.”

He’s pleasantly startled by the big cackle that gets out of Eddie, “Any chance to stick it to the man. I admire that.”

“‘Course I would’ve really stuck it to ‘em and donated it back to the community,” Steve adds.

“Giving the people’s money back to the people, imagine Big Brother’s horror. Noble guy.”

Eddie seems to bubble with contagious delight that doesn’t match his whole leather and chains thing at all, but it fits into the somewhat magic of him. It's a wonder to Steve.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” Eddie ventures, a glint of recognition in his eyes that Steve’s seen a thousand times. He doesn’t ping Eddie as much of a sports guy and he’s not vain enough to assume everyone knows who he is. Eddie’s probably seen him while flipping the channel past ESPN or something. Or maybe an ad for that Netflix thing he did documenting last year’s season.

“I think I’d definitely remember you.”

Steve didn’t mean it as a come-on, just that Eddie’s appearance really isn’t forgettable, but he can tell by the wicked little grin Eddie sports that it was taken as one. Steve likes that even better.

“Have you ever modeled, or anything? You’ve got the looks for it.”

Biting back a smile of his own, Steve shakes his head. “I bet you say that to everyone who saves your life.”

“None of them were half as good looking." That sounds concerning but Steve’s distracted by Eddie swirling his straw in his drink, regarding him with a long look. “Really though, I just feel like I’ve seen you before.”

Steve’s done a few covers of Sports Illustrated, but he doubts Eddie has ever picked up a copy of that, so he shrugs. “Must’ve been in your dreams.”

Eddie laughs softer this time. “You trying to sweep me off my feet or something?”

“Already did.” Steve leans back, enjoying the way Eddie’s eyes follow him.

Conversation sparks and it never really dies out. Eddie just grabs topics out of thin air, talking about the city and what they like to do and movies and his amazement that Steve knows all about D&D because he’s a nerd magnet. Eddie’s personality spills through everything he says like it can’t be contained. He’s talkative in a good way, not to a point where Steve can’t get a word in. He listens intently, has a way of putting all his attention onto Steve like he’s the most interesting person he’s ever spoken to.

It’s surprisingly easy to relax. Not because Eddie has a super calming presence or anything, his energy is just all-encompassing, it’s hard for Steve not to get sucked in and hang on to every word he says. It’s one of the rare times in public that he’s not hyper-aware of everyone around him and too paranoid of having a photo snapped and taken out of context to even enjoy himself.

That happens a lot, being one of the only professional athletes who’s open about his sexuality. The media is extremely invasive with his private life. If he’s seen with any guy friend, there’s a whole press storm about Steve Harrington’s “secret beau” within the hour. It’s ridiculous and he tries so hard to keep his lovelife under wraps that maybe he’s been neglecting it entirely, at least that’s what Robin says.

Of course, that’s when his phone lights up with a message from her. His heart sinks a little when he sees the title of the article she sent to him. He quickly shoots her a text and locks his phone without reading it.

“Everything alright?” Eddie notices the shift in Steve’s mood right away.

“Yeah just,” he sighs, bracing for the inevitable part when Eddie realizes Steve isn’t worth the hassle of all this, “Someone filmed us earlier and now it’s all over the press. I’m really sorry, I totally get it if—”

“Nah, don’t worry about it, it’s fine. I figured that would happen,” Eddie brushes it off, but Steve shakes his head.

“I don’t think you understand, it’s—”

“Wanna bet?” Eddie smirks for some reason, “I’m fine with it, I promise.”

He tosses a chip into his mouth and picks right back up with the story he was telling.

Steve is stunned for a moment, wary that maybe Eddie doesn’t fully grasp how deep this goes. But he stays there with Steve, seemingly thrilled to keep talking with him even when a family comes in and keeps staring their way, obviously building up the courage to come over and ask for a picture. Eddie’s acting like Steve’s the only person in the room and that’s enough to assure Steve that he’s really fine with it.

He’s so locked into Eddie, he barely registers when the older son from the family’s table finally wanders over and asks for a picture.

Steve is in the middle of wiping his face with a napkin, about to greet him when suddenly, Eddie pops up and asks Steve to excuse him for a minute.

“C’mon little man, let’s do it,” he says and much to Steve’s confusion, the teen excitedly goes with Eddie to his family’s table.

Steve watches, utterly baffled, as they start snapping photos and expressing what big fans they are and Eddie takes it with such bravado, laughing and chatting like he’s with a group of friends.

What the— Steve grabs his phone, opening the article Robin sent him at lightning speed.

At first, he wonders how the press was able to find out Eddie’s full name so quickly, then he sees the words "troubled rockstar" and "recovering star" so many times, it becomes abundantly clear.

Oh.

He’s not so worried about the troubled part, everyone has their shit and he doesn’t read into any of it. Those are Eddie’s stories to tell Steve if he chooses, not some tabloid. But the rockstar part connects a lot of dots that have come up in the last couple of hours since meeting Eddie and—

Yeah, just. Oh.

Part 2

[hoshifighting]

Could you do svt’s reaction on forgetting their anniversary with the reader?

seungcheol’d been so wrapped up in schedules, meetings, and everything else on his plate that the date completely slipped his mind. the moment it sinks in, his stomach drops. he’s sitting at home, scrolling through his phone when he sees the reminder forgotten on his past notifications—anniversary dinner tonight. “shit, shit, shit.” he stands up abruptly, knocking his chair over as he scrambles to grab his keys. you’d been waiting, and the thought of you sitting there alone eats him alive. when he finally sees you, there’s no smile, just regret. “baby, i’m so fucking sorry.” his voice cracks. seungcheol is a person for whom responsibility is a priority. and the feeling that he failed a commitment and with you. makes him want to cry. “i don’t know what happened, but i swear i’ll make it up to you.”

jeonghan? oh, he knew it was coming. he just thought he had more time. his confidence gets the best of him. but when you bring it up, the look on your face says everything. and it’s like his brain short-circuits. “oh, t-the date,” he mutters under his breath, realizing that he’s been too laid-back about it. he tries to play it off, but the second he sees how hurt you are, he internally crumbles. “i really fucked up, didnt I baby?” he’d spend the rest of the day trying to fix it, probably spoiling you with something over-the-top, even though you’re still a little pissed.

joshua forgot because he was so caught up in helping his family with something important. when he checks the time and realizes what day it is, he freezes. “no, no, no.” he whispers to himself, heart sinking. his first instinct is to call you, but when you pick up, your tone is cold. “josh, where are you?” your voice is sharp, and he can’t even find the words to apologize. “i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean to. i—” he stumbles over his words, feeling like the worst boyfriend in the world. “i’ll make it right, i swear. please, just... let me make it right. im heading to the restaurant baby, just a sec, please”

junhui’s mind was on a completely different planet—he’d been immersed in practicing something new for you, wanting to surprise you, that he completely blanked on the actual anniversary. when it hits him, he laughs out of sheer disbelief at himself. “holy shit, i’m a dumbass.” he’s halfway through a text to you before deleting it, knowing a message wouldn’t be enough. he’s at your door within minutes, out of breath and a little frantic. “i know i’m late. i’m so fucking sorry. i... i was planning something for us, but i screwed up. can we start over?”

soonyoung’s the type to get so wrapped up in everything else that he loses track of days entirely. when it sinks in, it’s mid-dance practice, and he stops dead in his tracks. the date flashing in his brain like a neon sign. “no way,” he mutters, practically throwing his phone down as he rushes to text you. “please tell me you’re still there. please, please.” the guilt settles in hard when he realizes you’d probably already left. he wants to apologize in person, but he’s afraid of what he’ll see in your eyes. “i’ll do anything to fix this. just... just don’t hate me.”

wonwoo’s lost track of time probably because of a gaming session that went on way too long. he’s always been a little absent-minded, and this time it cost him. he doesn’t realize it until late at night when he’s scrolling through his phone, and your messages pop-up nonstop. he freezes, eyes glued to the screen. “fuck, my babe.” he knows it’s bad. wonwoo’s never been good with words, so when he tries to apologize, it’s a little awkward, but sincere. “i really didn’t mean to forget… i’ve just been all over the place.” he’ll make it up to you in quiet, meaningful ways—extra touches, thoughtful gestures.

woozi was in the studio, headphones on, lost in the music, lost in a project, an album, something like this. when the reminder popped up on his phone—the one he had set just because he knew he must NOT forget, he stared at it in disbelief. “no. fucking. way.” he pulls off the headphones, heart racing, standing up from his chair. he didn’t forget on purpose, but he knows that’s not going to make you feel better. he is already imagining how disappointed you’ll be. he hates that he’s made you cry without even being there to see it. without thinking, he grabs his things and rushes out, dialing your number.

minghao is probably halfway through some deep meditation or art project when he finally thinks of it. the date pops into his mind, and he freezes, the calm shattered in an instant. thrown off balance his usual balance. he hates that he let this happen, especially when he’s always so in tune with your emotions and your relationship. minghao will come to you with all sincerity, not trying to make excuses, just wanting to fix it. “i didn’t mean to forget… you know that right? you know how much I love you.” after the restaurant's booking was fucked up, he brings u to another expensive restaurant, trying to cheer you up with a sad smile.

mingyu’s the type to feel absolutely awful about it. he’s so used to being thoughtful and over-the-top with his affection, so when he forgets the anniversary, it feels like the ultimate failure to him. “oh my god, no way,” he groans, running his hands through his hair. he’d feel guilty as hell, probably already planning some over-the-top way to make it up to you before you even bring it up. he rushes to call you, but it goes straight to voicemail. “baby, please call me back. i’ll make this right, i swear.” the thought of you waiting for him with disappointment in your eyes kills him.

seokmin probably gets caught up in meetings, back-to-back phone calls, just grinding through work like he always does. the moment he sees the date on his calendar on the table, marked with a red heart, it hits him like a fucking truck. he’s frustrated with himself, pacing around the room, trying to figure out how to make it up to you. he doesn’t waste time; the guilt’s already settling in. you mean too much to him to leave it like this, so he’s quick to call you “baby im on my way home, wait for me—shit know i've made you wait a lot already, but just give me some minutes, in on the central bridge”

seungkwan was busy with work, thinking about a million other things when he realizes he forgot your anniversary. for a second, he just stands there, processing. “i’m the worst,” he mutters to himself, panic quickly setting in. he dials your number, but when you don’t pick up, the guilt is agonizing. he would probably appear on your door with everything he can, chocolate, plushies, bouquets of flowers, but all of it, with his teary eyes in the middle.

vernon is the type to lose track of time when he’s deep into something. so when he realizes the date, his heart sinks. its already night when he notices that he had sent you “good morning” and not even mentioning the anniversary. he feels bad, but he doesn’t know how to handle it right away. “let’s do something special today, okay?” he promises as he leaves the subway station.

chan feels like absolute shit the moment he realizes. he’s been so caught up in trying to prove himself, so focused on rehearsals, working hard, pushing himself, that he lost track of what day it is. “fuck, i can’t believe i forgot,” he mutters under his breath, hands clenched into fists. he hates that he let you down, and when he comes to you he gives all of himself. his face scrunched up everytime you hang up his calls, but you cant ignore the door since he lives with you. he would just hug you, even though you don't recriprocate, he does it.

[dumbbitchenergy17]

Timeline of Rumors

Pairing: Paul Mescal x Reader [SMAU]

Warnings: sweet moments, laughter giggles, just general fluff

a/n: IGNORE THE FACECLAIM they're placeholders just picture what you like!

SEPT 1, 2023

iampedro'sloyalsubject BRO PEDRO AND Y/N ARE AT THE SAME RENAISSANCE TOUR NIGHT AS ME HOLY SHIT I CAN SEE THEM.

y/n’swife ARE YOU SERIOUS PROOF

joelmillersbitch I’M SO FUCKING JEALOUS ARE YOU SERIOUS!

iampedro'sloyalsubject I knew they mentioned going to the concert but I assumed in New York not fucking LA.

pleasebemywifey/n MY FRIENDS GOT TICKETS FOR THIS NIGHT AND WE SAW THEM COMING IN ALONG WITH SARAH PAULSON AND PAUL MESCAL

paulsoulmate …what. PAUL IS THERE?!?!?

pleasebemywifey/n YES!! I TOTALLY FREAKED SEEING Y/N WITH PAUL

A new video by loyalservantofy/n.

The footage shows two girls dancing to the preshow music dressed in silver beside the barricade. The girl holding the camera's face drops when Pedro Pascal is walking alongside Sarah Paulson from the background for a brief moment.

“PEDRO!” The girl screeches turning the camera so it is facing the walkway gaining the male actor’s attention and he sends a smile their way along with a wave which makes the pair of girls fangirl even more.

“I love you, Sarah!” The other shouts to Sarah who smiles and mouths back, “I love you too!” Their excitement only grows from fangirls of Pedro to a full breakdown when they see the coming behind the pair is Y/n L/n dressed in an outfit inspired by Beyonce’s Dangerously In Love Album Cover followed by Paul Mescal who is dressed in all black the pair talking amongst each other while being guided by security.

“Y/N I LOVE YOU!” The girls screech and the young actress sees them sending them a dazzling smile and blowing multiple kisses.

“You guys look gorgeous!” You shout to them over the music and other fans take videos and flashes of cameras. The girls squeal still in awe that they had this insane interaction with these famous stars.

A new video by pedrobbygurl: Didn’t even realize during the Mute Challenge who was behind us!

In the video during the song ‘Energy,’ the crowd bumps to the music as a girl records herself singing along to the words. In the background are Pedro and Sarah singing swaying to the music and beside them are Paul and Y/n singing to each other, mainly Y/n singing to Paul as he smiles looking down at her.

“Look around everybody go mute!” The crowd instantly goes silent and in the background, Y/n rushes to cover Paul’s mouth a wide grin on her face as the whole stadium waits for Beyonce’s cue.

“Look around it’s me and my crew!” Beyonce sings and the crowd roars and you remove your hand from Paul’s mouth as he starts laughing.

“Big Energy!” You both scream before continuing to dance to the rest of the concert.

PedroPascalMessiah Everyone say thank you to Y/n for making sure Paul didn’t fail the Mute Challenge.

ynlover THANK YOU MY WIFE 🙌🏼

paulmescalbby THANK YOU Y/N! Also, y’all noticing how often Y/n and Paul have been hanging out since they were seen together at the Met Gala?

cassiebeans no totally! Like I don’t want to assume anything especially with Paul so secretive [since the Phoebe drama] and we rarely hear about Y/n’s dating life.

kazmourner SPEAKING FACTS! Like I think they might just be friends because of how close she is with her male co-stars and friends. Like I fully thought she and Freddy Carter were together until he got married to his wife. But I'm down with it they would be super cute together

paulmescalbby Did y'all see how he was looking at her?!?! That doesn’t scream friends. BUT ALSO DAISY AND PAUL MY LOVES

A new story post by theeey/n_l/n

The first story is just a photo that has a selfie of the four of you. Sarah and Paul have regular smiles while posing for the picture, you have a bright smile that even through the photo can show how excited you are to be there and Pedro makes a shocked expression eyes glazed in wonder at the concert not even looking at the camera. The caption on the photo just says in all caps ‘BEYONCÉ BEYONCÉ BEYONCÉ!!’ with everyone in the picture tagged.

The next story is a repost from Sarah’s story, Crazy in Love is playing the camera shows Beyoncé and her backup dancers performing before it pans to Pedro who starts faking crying before screaming into the camera, “I’m fucking dying oh my god!” You can hear Sarah’s laughter behind the phone before it pans to Y/n and Paul behind Pedro dancing singing along to the lyrics.

“Y/n! Paul!” Sarah shouts getting your attention and you turn mouthing the words to the camera as Paul raises his beer to the camera his arm wrapped around your waist. You turn your attention to Pedro grabbing his arm the two of you screaming the lyrics to each other before bursting into laughter then the camera moves back to the stage.

DEC 15, 2024

A new post by y/nownsmysoul: OMG I MET Y/N WHEN VISITING FAMILY IN MALTA AND SHE WAS AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL

The post is a selfie of this girl and Y/n outside a cafe. She was dressed very casually a pair of sunglasses pushing back her hair as the pair smiled at the camera.

The next on the slideshow is the full video interaction of the pair. The camera is mainly pointed at the floor and you can hear a girl mumbling encouragements to herself before the sound of footsteps.

“Excuse…Ms. Y/n. Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you but would you mind getting a photo with me? I understand if not,” Her voice trembles before a sweet voice fills the video.

“Of course so nice meeting you what’s your name?” You ask and the girl lifts the camera using a video to take photos while it still records. Moving your items to one hand allowing you to wrap your arm around her waist.

“It’s Nicole,” She says and Y/n smiles as the camera is raised to show them both, “That’s my sister’s name I love that! Okay, smile.” You say and the two of you do a couple of poses but then your phone rings and the person calling can be shown on the camera. The contact says ‘Paul<3’ and the photo is a never-before-seen picture of Paul drinking a Guinness and getting a foam-stache.

“I gotta run Nicole but it was so nice meeting you! Please tag me in that.” You say and Nicole nods watching you head down the street answering the phone before she turns the camera to face herself a shellshock look on her face.

“Holy shit I just met Y/n.”

y/nownsmysoul LOOKING BACK I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE WHO CALLED HER.

mescalluver OMG THAT PIC! I just fell to my knees in the middle of the street

y/nmescal ‘Paul<3’ BITCH THEY ARE LOVERS NO DOUBT!

y/nsandpedrosbitch What is she doing in Malta? Is she there for Pedro and Paul?! I NEED ANSWERS 🛐🛐🛐

DEC 19, 2023

A new post by theeey/n_l/n

liked by pascalispunk, bigbreadpedlar, and others

theeey/n_l/n Reunited with my favorite guys

tagged: pascalispunk and bigbreadpedlar

pascalispunk I’m shredding your plane ticket you aren’t going back to NYC

theeey/n_l/n fine by me P as long as you're paying my flight back.

pascalispunk ….no

bigbreadpedlar So glad you came <3

theeey/n_l/n ofc! Had to see you in action.

jospehquinn Betrayed…I thought I was a part of the ‘guys’ Y/n. I thought we had something.

theeey/n_l/n I still love you JOSEPH!

cocoullrich The three musketeers together.

DEC 31, 2023

paulsbitch THEY CONFIRMED HOLY FUCK 😀

y/nwife BRO I FELT MY SOUL SHATTER MY LOVER IS NO LONGER MINE! 😦

joelmillerswife.soulmate I FUCKING KNEW IT SINCE THE MET GALA THEY HAD SHIT BREWING 🥳🥳

HusabandtoY/n.Paul BRO THEY BOTH ARE SO HOT. IDK WHO I’D RATHER BE.

A new post by entertainmentweekly: "Star Wars and Gladiator 2 Stars finally confirms the relationship we’ve all been dying to know. View the article to learn of the full timeline."

A new post by theeey/n_l/n

liked by pascalispunk, bigbreadpedlar, bella ramsey and others

theeey/n_l/n So happy to enter this new year with you. So excited to see what is in our future💕

tagged: bigbreadpedlar

bigbreadpedlar love you mo chroí ❤️

theeey/n_l/n 🥰

pascalispunk I’m so happy for you guys making my old heart sing.

theeey/n_l/n awww i love you P 🫶

pascalispunk ❤️

bellaramsey Stop you two are literally so cute together!

nicoparker I second that ☝🏽

zendaya Absolute cuties

A new post by bigbreadpedlar

liked by theeey/n_l/n, pascalispunk, 19irmcas, and others

bigbreadpedlar: To my favorite person — you made this year feel like magic. Can’t wait for what’s next.

tagged: theeey/n_l/n

theeey/n_l/n I love you, you big sap 💕

bigbreadpedlar I love you more

pascalispunk I’m getting cavities on how sweet you two are.

19irmcas You both are so hot

cocoullrich correct

josephquinn paul you better watch after her that is my unofficial sister!

theeey/n_l/n don’t remember our parents getting married but I love the sentiments

[sepetajmikolikomehoces]

Okay, I have finally recuperated after yesterday's getting home-snafu. In the process of trying to get to the train station, I ended up missing my train and the only available options was either paying an assload for an evening train ticket or a slightly smaller assload for an even later evening train ticket.

Smaller assload it was.

Anyway.

Good GOD what a weekend. Putting it under the cut.

I have been so hyped about seeing Kuumaa since we got tickets in February and fucking hell if just the prospect of seeing them hasn't carried me through this year amidst finalizing my divorce and dealing with the aftermath of that on top of work and school.

The friend group I have been so lucky to be welcomed into realized that four of us would be going to Kuumaa, and when we found out Kä would perform at Tullikamari the day after we all realized we could go and bought tickets, deciding along the way to make a pikkujoulut-weekend of it complete with secret santa and everything.

Kuumaa are just... insane live. I had some expectations, but I was not ready for Johannes kicking us off with a very stripped down version of "Tarkotin sua". Everything after that was just highlight after highlight. Some of the songs from their earliest album were slightly unfamiliar to me, but still fucking slapped. Bawled my eyes out during "Luotan tulevaan" as predicted, had chills down my spine for all of "Tuiki tuiki" and felt like my soul was soaring as 10 000 of us sang along to "Ylivoimainen". Insane, and it took me a while to land from that experience and fall asleep later.

Saturday was Kä day with my beloved potatoes @frikatilhi @harmaanoita @punanenmarli @meerkathideout and @maladroitoracle. Gifts were exchanged, Marli also got an additional late birthday/early Christmas gift in the form of a Fisherman's rib cardigan, and my lovely meerkat got their very own Jure sweater.

This was probably the absolute chillest pregigging ever, and I want to do this every time. We piled six people into a car meant for five and went and had pasta dinner at a place near Tullikamari, then showed up just as doors had opened. Still got an excellent view, and holy shit, THE GIG.

So many people have already talked about how incredible the gig was and I can only echo the sentiment. "Ready to go" is the fucking BEST opening song, Kä was so happy all throughout the gig, the yapping was A+ and I fucking died when we got "Rock Rock" AND "Menestynyt yksilö" on the setlist. Getting "Urheilujätkä" after some chanting was just the cherry on top, and of course Jesse was missed, but if nothing else, this is proof of how beloved he is.

Had the most fucking Fenno-Swedish encounter post-gig. Guy comes up to me and meerkat and this happens:

Guy: Hey, are you from [region X]?

Me: ....yeah?

Guy: I FUCKING KNEW IT, I COULD TELL. Where from, north or south?

Me: Well, technically neither???

Guy: No, no, you're either from the north or the south!

Meerkat: How about "secret third option"?

Guy: The fuck does that mean?

Meerkat: [explains]

Me: Yeah, so I am from [place]. Hence "secret third option".

Guy: OH FUCKING HELL.

He then turns around and yells for his friend. Who is also from the same place as me (though apparently doesn’t live there anymore). We spent five minutes just making sure we weren’t related. We weren't. But still. Can't go fucking anywhere without finding some sort of connection to home.

Six people, a five seat car repeated on the way home, and we first spotted the Kä bus coming towards us, screamed a little, then had to immediately freeze because we passed a police car. Then realized five seconds later the Kä bus was a little ways behind us. Exit pursued by the Kä bus.

Can't thank my lovely potatoes enough for this weekend, and I hope we can do this again (not necessarily with back to back gigs involved) very, very soon.

[sopaprimordialy]

Warriors HC collection - 2nd Edition

Click here for 1st Edition — The Warriors

THE HOUSE OF HURRICANE

They are drag queens. That's not even a head canon because the lyric book addresses them as "House of Hurricane" rather than just "The Hurricanes" like it does with the other gangs. Additionally, the actors playing them are all queer (Michaela Jaé [Yaya] is a trans woman, Billy Porter [Granger] is gay and Mykal Kilgore [Élan] identifies as queer).

This, combined with the music style, vogue, which originated within the queer black community, indicates which groups they're representing here.

In the movie, the gang in roller skates was called "The Punks", and I incorporated this fact to my HC that they (Yaya, Élan and Granger) used to be a trio called The Punks when they were teenagers and had to stick together to protect themselves on the streets. As they grew up and discovered more about themselves and the world they live in, The Punks eventually became a larger crew known as The House Of Hurricane.

They own a couple of gay bars, discos and pubs in upper Manhattan (here you'll have to forgive me for the lack of knowledge about locations in the US, if you have a more specific suggestion for where their turf could be, let me know!)

Since a drag family, among other things, has to do with drag style, I believe the main component of the Hurricanes' style is skating. They are known for their ice and roller skating performances, being able to move and dance freely wearing them (I'm jealous)

The three of them are drag mothers to a LOT of other queens. After the events of the album, their Hous will be long last and their legacy will be gigantic. Yes, by that I mean some future Hurricanes will participate on RuPaul's Drag Race.

Now, individual head canons ahead! Since they appear in only one song, a lot of this is just me hallucinations

ÉLAN

She's the leader, and she has always been the mother of the group. As I mentioned earlier, I believe these three know each other since they're teens, but Élan is a bit older.

Some time before the events of the album, one of the drags she mothered/recruited was killed by the police. She, and many others, quile literally went missing in the park at night. Because of this she tells the Warriors to "stand up for you and yours"; she regrets not being there for her.

She's a taurus (Idk why this felt important).

She's the kind of person who'll tell you her deepest, darkest traumas with a straight face while you're left there, horrified.

Speaking of trauma, she has a lot of it.

They all have. My poor mistreated children.

She cares deeply for all her girls, but especially Yaya. Sometimes Yaya complains, claiming that she doesn't need to be babied, but Élan's still protective of her.

YAYA

The baby of the group.

She's literally never out of drag, which made Élan and Granger start to realize maybe this wasn't the same artistical feeling they had for her.

She's trans. That's it.

And she's always gorgeous.

Also, she's autistic, because I CAN hc whatever I want. One of her favorite stims is imitating the little noises she hear, hence why she keeps singing "dong dong!" during Quiet Girls.

She's a gemini (bcs I started this signs thing and if I stop now it'd be weird).

Yaya was like, super nervous when she told the others about being trans, because crossdressing is one thing, being a trans woman is another.

Fortunately the other members of the gang are not assholes so she was well accepted, and Yaya became her actual name.

She's the most flexible of the group. As my dance teacher wisely said once: "Queers can vogue dance because they don't have bones".

GRANGER

First of all, I love her voice. Not a head canon but I needed to say that. Billy Porter I didn't know you before but holy shit I'm in love.

I feel like she's the strongest of the group, the one who can actually fight and tend to protect the others.

She was the one actually dragging the Warriors out of that train, and she is the one to confront them with the "how do we address our guests [...]" part.

At the end of Quiet Girls when she says "Stand clear of the closing doors!" I always imagined her high kicking the train door. Wearing skates. She cracks the glass.

And then death drops. That's it thanks for reading my incredible ideas for an animatic I'll never make hope it's good 🤙🏽

She's a scorpio (just to be clear here I don't necessarily know what I'm talking about)

I don't really know why but I associate her with Jennifer Lopez's El Anillo.

She taught the others how to skate, she learned as a kid.

[hrts4soyeon]

love?

giselle x fem!reader

genre: angst

warnings: super toxic relationship, manipulation, cursing, mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol, infidelity

synopsis: everything started out so well, your relationship with giselle was amazing. she changed so much, she changed for the worse. with all that she did to you you couldn't help but wonder, was this really love?

word count: 2,508

a/n: i posted this but then i really didn't like it so i changed it and now i like it🤗🤗

You were a part of (G)I-dle but before that you had been in Produce 101 with Soyeon. You were the youngest in Produce 101, having been 14 when you went on Produce along with Soyeon and Eunbin. You were exceptional in both singing and dancing, even though you were so young you had managed to keep your position in a class (b at the lowest) throughout the entire show. Before Produce 101 you hadn't had many friends seeing as you spent all your time training. Sure you had Soyeon, but she was more of an older sister to you than a friend.

When you joined Produce 101 and met Somi you were overjoyed, you finally had someone your age that you could relate to and talk to. From the moment you joined Produce, Somi caught your eye, and after one conversation with her you knew you two would get along very well. She completely matched your personality. You and Somi had been very popular after the episodes were aired as both of you didn't lack in visuals or talent. Sadly you hadn't been popular enough and didn't make it to debut with Somi. Despite this, your determination to debut and become famous never faded, telling yourself it was better like this and that you’d debut with Soyeon instead.

Ever since their debut you had been a huge fan of aespa, having listened to all their songs and bought all their albums. You had spoken out about it too, how much you loved aespa and their music. Most of all, you loved one japanese member in aespa. Ever since you heard their first song it was her voice that caught your attention, and when you saw her? You knew you had to have her, you wouldnt rest until you did. 

Somi coincidentally had been good friends with Giselle too, and after a lot of begging she finally introduced you to her. You and Giselle completely hit it off, at the first meeting you two were already planning the second. 

After having met, you two were inseparable, with her always being at your dorm and you at hers. With how close you became with Giselle in such a short time, it was no surprise to any of your friends when your friendship progressed to more.

When Soyeon was first told of your relationship with Aeri being more than friends, she became very wary of the girl. She considered you her younger sister and had heard a lot of rumors about Aeri and all her flings with girls. Aeri was known to be a rumored heartbreaker, having a new girl every week. The last thing Soyeon wanted was for you to end up with a broken heart. She also knew how easily manipulated you were and the thought that someone would use you made her sick.

“Aeri where were you?! I've been waiting literal hours for you, you promised you wouldn't do this again!” you yelled as soon as Aeri entered her room. 

Today was one of the rare off days you both had and she planned a date. You were left waiting at the restaurant for 2 hours telling yourself she would come any minute, minutes turned to hours and you eventually realized she wasn't coming. 

You felt humiliated, stood up at the reservation she made. After confirming with Karina that Giselle was indeed off today you went to the aespa dorms and just waited in Aeri’s room. 

“Get off my back holy shit, you're so dramatic. So what I had other things to do and I forgot we can reschedule.” she responded starting to get mad, who were you to yell at her. 

“This is literally the second time you’ve done this, why can't you consider my feelings and how i must’ve felt getting stood up twice.” you tried to reason, make her understand why you were upset.

“Literally shut up oh my god, if all you’re gonna do is complain get the fuck out of my room and leave. I'm tired. It's been a long day, either get in bed and sleep or go back to your dorm. I really don't care.” Giselle said as she stripped from her current clothes and put on her pajamas. 

“I fucking hate you.”

“Get in bed”

And that’s exactly what you did, you laid down and turned your face away from her, you laid at the very edge of the bed trying to get as far away from her as you could. You wanted her to know that you were upset and werent gonna cuddle. In response to this she simply put an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to her body, spooning you. This is what would always happen, and you would let it happen. this was her way of resolving fights because she knew you could never refuse her. 

The next morning when you woke up Giselle wasn't there next to you, in place of her laid a small note declaring her love for you and how she would take you out again. But she didn't apologize, she never did.

Giselle was someone who simply couldn't accept their mistake, her pride never allowed her to. It was as if she was allergic to apologizing, even if she wanted to she couldn't ever bring herself to apologize. The thought of her having to bend down and admit she was at fault? Never in her wildest dreams would she do that, she had too much of an ego to ever admit that she was at fault.

That same day Giselle had gone to your dorm when the time was nearing midnight. Showing up with a bouquet of roses in one hand and a basket in the other. 

“Wait right here.” she said as you two arrived at the park near your dorm. 

You watched as she quickly ran over to a spot that was out of your sight, you assumed that there had been a blanket (maybe some snacks) in the basket. Either way you didnt move from the spot she had left you at. feeling excitement growing in your chest the longer she took.

You wished and hoped she had set up something big but you tried to stay realistic and not get your hopes up too high. you told yourself that she might be having troubles with setting up the blanket.

When it almost seemed like too long of a wait time (only a couple of minutes had felt like forever) she came back excitedly telling you to cover your eyes, to which you did as she led you towards where she had been. You couldn't help but feel excitement when she did all this, you had seen this scene multiple times in movies and you couldn't help but wish this would be like the movies

She tapped your shoulder and told you to open your eyes when you two arrived at where she had been. As your eyes opened you couldn't help but let out an automatic gasp at the sight of everything. It was exactly like the movies. She had led you into a small area completely surrounded by bushes and a couple of trees that she had covered in fairy lights. It was completely concealed from anyone else, being a small personal space for the two of you. On the grass she had laid a pastel blue fluffy blanket and on that she had a bunch of your favorite snacks, her laptop, and a bunch of pillows. 

“I found this place when i was still a trainee and i haven't told anyone about it so i guess it could just be our little spot from now on.” she said as she waited for you to jump on her and shower her with compliments for being so sweet and planning all this. 

“I love you sosososo much this is actually so amazing and thank you so much for planning this!” you said as you went to kiss her. 

After breaking off the short lived kiss she sat down on the blanket and patted the spot next to her. You sat down wordlessly as she opened her laptop and put on mean girls, a movie that was favorited by you both. You both laid back and ate as you watched the movie happily. You felt like a character in a movie or book, you loved her so much and you couldn't believe she had been this thoughtful. 

Before you knew it the movie had already ended and as you checked the time on your phone your eyes widened. It was already 2am and you had a schedule tomorrow, you pondered on leaving right now and getting some sleep but ultimately decided against it. You'd rather stay with Aeri, sleep was overrated anyways.

You woke up the next morning to your phone ringing, lifting your head from Aeri’s chest and drowsily answered the call. You were immediately woken up by the shouting of your roommate Yuqi on the other end.

“Where the fuck are you?! I told Soyeon you were in the bathroom but you’ve now been in the bathroom for 10 minutes to her! Get the fuck back right now before she kills both me and you!” Yuqi yelled at you through the phone

“Okay, okay I'm sorry.” you replied before hanging up at checking the time on your phone, whispering curses when you realized you had 20 minutes to get back to the dorms and get ready.

Hearing all the noise you were making, Aeri woke up and tiredly asked you what had happened and you quickly explained the situation to her. She immediately got up and grabbed her laptop and your hand to walk you back to your dorm. You both walked back in a comfortable silence as she was still half asleep and you were stressed out of your mind. 

“Thank you for last night babe, i love you.” you kissed her goodbye as you two arrived at your dorm. 

And as if sensing you were there Soyeon opened the door of your dorm mid kiss and you immediately jumped away from Giselle. She just stared at you and told you to get in and ready seeing as you had close to 10 minutes left. You awkwardly waved to Giselle and Soyeon shut the door looking at you disappointedly she never approved of your relationship with Giselle.

You wanted to say something, but nothing was coming out of your mouth. You felt bad disobeying her but you loved Giselle. Why couldn't she understand that?

“why, why can’t i ever be prioritized? you always ditch me and it hurts. it fucking hurts to know you’re at a bar flirting with others and ditching me.” you sobbed out, you had lost count at how many times she had done this

she always did this, she always ditched you. at this point you didn’t even know why she kept you around. you loved her so fucking much it hurt, it hurt to stay with her. you wondered what you had ever done to deserve this, you had never been this bad to anyone. 

“babe no matter what i do i always come back to you no? you’ll always be my priority, i just like to talk to people. you know it doesn’t mean anything.” she said in a calm voice, you knew it was all an act, she was pretending to be sober. 

but you could taste it on her tongue when you kissed, you could smell the perfume of the girl she had just fucked on her dress when you took it off. you didn't know what to do.

you didn’t want to believe it. so you didn't, when you were left standing outside of her room hearing the moans of a girl that wasn’t you.

you just stood in front of the door, you didn’t make an attempt to stop what you knew was happening. none of the girls were home, if they were they never would’ve let you enter. they probably would’ve said some bullshit like Giselle was out. whenever they told you things like this you just left, you knew they were lies. you weren’t stupid. 

you knew any sane person would leave, but you weren’t sane, she made you insane. you loved her like crazy, you weren’t like this before, she changed you. made you the perfect girlfriend for her who never said anything. 

you sometimes wondered if you ever even had any self respect, it was humiliating, to know what she was doing yet actively doing nothing about it. 

when you first caught her with another girl you just stood there in shock, you didn’t know how to react. as if she could feel your presence, Giselle turned to face you, her fingers still deep inside the other girl. she didn’t stop though, she just stared at you while fucking the girl. and you just stood there crying, you were heartbroken. we’re you not enough? did you not do enough? did she not like you anymore? 

eventually when the girl noticed you standing there crying she pushed Giselle off of her apologizing to you saying she didn’t know Aeri had a girlfriend. apparently Aeri didn’t remember she had one, judging by her actions. 

“babe you know it’s only you that i love, sometimes i just need someone else to satisfy my needs when you’re away but they’re nothing. they’re nothing to me, you should be glad that i always end up back with you. you’re the one for me, they’re all just side hoes that don’t mean anything other than a quick fuck.” Giselle said as she approached you, her fingers still wet from the other girl. 

you didn’t know what to say or do so you just nodded and let her comfort you. 

You couldn't fathom ever losing Giselle, that was probably your worst nightmare, to have Giselle tell you she no longer loved you. You knew staying was terrible, maybe even worse than losing her. You were stuck in a never ending loop with her breaking your heart and you acting upset but ultimately letting it go. after a while you stopped getting upset, there was no point. talking to her was talking to a wall. 

You felt like you were suffocating keeping all your emotions to yourself, Soyeon already hated giselle, why would you want to add to the fire? Somi? Somi was Giselle's best friend, she probably only fell second to you. Your members? They would probably stop supporting your relationship with Giselle and be like Soyeon. 

Whenever you told yourself it’d be the last time for you to let what she was doing slide she would make it up to you extravagantly. How could you stay mad when she was trying so hard and doing so much for you. She could really fuck you up sometimes but she always knew how to make it okay afterwards. 

This wouldn't go anywhere, you knew that full well. She would never change and neither would you. in the end all you could do was take it.

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Hey there!

I wanted to post that for a while so, here we are.

Wondering who’s behind this blog?

Here’s something about me under the cut:

• I identify as a woman, my pronouns are she/her

• Born and raised in Italy, I still live there.

• I’m 141 LOL but according to people I still look like I’m in my 30s so let me indulge in that, thank you very much.

• I don't think there's anyone who makes me more feral than Joel Miller. I just can’t help it. My (un)holy Pedro characters triad is Joel, Oberyn and Peña 💕 (immediately followed by Frankie)

• I have a little elephant pendant that I always wear, no one knows what it's about *wink*

• I’m Leo Sun, Libra Rising and Aries Moon. You scared? I promise I don’t bite, unless explicitly requested 😏

• I’m Bi/Pan as fuck, always been obviously but I realized only last year. LOL, better late than never i guess. I only have problems with cisgender straight white males because I mean… they’re the worst, okay, I don’t make the rules.

• Single, unmarried, not interested in having kids even a little bit, I prefer to be the cool auntie.

• I love cooking and I'm quite good at it, I had good genes from my Italian grandmas 😌

• I can’t function without coffee, especially in the morning. I take my coffee bitter with just a little bit of milk.

• I can’t stand lies, the phrase “oh I didn't tell you so as not to make you suffer” (UGH, no you didn’t tell me ‘cause you’re a fucking coward and that’s it, my friend), misogyny, racism, fascism, homophobia, bi-erasure, any other form of verbal or physical violence towards LGBTQIA+ people, injustice in general, if you are any of the above you are not welcome here or in my life.

• I love dogs. I have a poodle named Brienne after the GOT character, she’s 5 years old so that means she got me through pandemic and she’s my love and joy. Isn’t she adorable? Yes, she is.

• I’m unfortunately allergic to cats (yep, like Pedro) and can’t pet them unless I wish for an asthma attack. That sucks, I know.

• I have deep brown curly hair, brown eyes and I’m short (158 cm).

• I have a lot of freckles, you could go on a treasure hunt following them.

• I’ve been to more than 100 concerts in my life including some festivals abroad.

• I currently listen to Hozier and Chappell Roan on a daily basis. I also love Billie Eilish, used to be a big Muse fan (listen, their first albums were great, okay) plus I’m a sucker for ‘90/‘00 music ‘cause that’s the music I grew up with.

• I love beer more than wine.

• I love reading, I used to read all the time, I have less time to do it now and it bothers me so much. I’m still reading fanfiction though. 🤭

• I’m a sucker for True Crime Podcasts, I only listen to Italian ones for now so unless you’re Italian you don’t know my faves and it’s a pity ‘cause they’re really good.

• Cults scare the shit out of me but at the same time they’re one of the things that makes me more curious ‘cause my mind can’t really comprehend what happens in people’s mind when they get sucked into them.

• Some tv series I love in no particular order: The Last of Us, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Lost, The Handmaid’s Tale, Bojack Horseman, GOT (until seasons 7 & 8 happened 💀), Sense 8, Jane the Virgin, Grace and Frankie, Narcos, Only Murders in the building, The Bear, Succession, The Morning Show, Friends, Stranger Things (mostly because Jim Hopper is there, certainly not for those z*onists, you know), Mad Men, Derry Girls, Gilmore Girls (Luke Danes *cough*), Mindhunter, Peaky Blinders (huge Tommy Shelby’s slut, don’t look at me like that, okay), My Brilliant Friend, The Affair, Black Mirror (until last seasons happened but it used to be one of the greatest things ever), The Walking Dead (got bored halfway through season 9, I recently started a rewatch and I hope to get to the very end of it lol), Fleabag, Normal People, When They See Us, Hill House, Bly Manor, Midnight Mass, Chernobyl.

• Films I love in no particular order: Parasite, Aftersun, Past Lives, All of Us Strangers, Brokeback Mountain, Almost Famous, The Goonies, Stand By Me, The Breakfast Club, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, The Lobster, The Neon Demon, Midsommar, One Day, When Harry Met Sally, There’s still tomorrow, Strange Way of Life, Prospect, The Banshess of Inisherin, Coco, The Emperor’s New Groove (so underrated), Mommy, The Virgin Suicides, Girls Interrupted, Saltburn, Promising Young Woman, Little Women (1994), Gone Girl, Shoplifters, Bin-Jip 3 Iron, Love Me If You Dare, The Piano, Fried Green Tomatoes, Notorious, Some like it Hot, Rear Window and you can ask for my Letterboxd account for more.

• Bad weather makes me sad and melancholy.

• I obviously love Italian cuisine with all my heart but I also love to try new dishes especially when I’m abroad. I love chocolate and I have a sweet tooth in general but there’s nothing I crave more than good carbs (I can be happy with a slice of good bread or focaccia). I love spicy food but I can't handle it when it’s very very spicy.

• I love bags, I have so many bags and I still want more lol

• When I was a kid I wanted to be a writer or a journalist. What do I do now? I’m a secretary LOL (I also have a second job not related to writing as well)

• As a friend, I’m loyal to the bone, I could do anything for you if I love you. If you betray me real bad though don’t expect a second chance, I mean I could try but I know i can’t ‘cause you’re changed forever in my eyes.

• I have so many kinks, you can ask if you want to know, okay. Also, so many authors here are responsible for giving me new ones. I love you deeply.

If you want to know more my asks and dm are open!

Here’s a little bit of me, byeeeee.

[cleolinda]

Weekend links, April 14, 2024

My posts

Honestly, I spent much of the week coping with storm migraines. You can tell, because I was reblogging a lot from under a cold compress rather than doing anything useful with life. 

Reblogs of interest

The Hot Vintage Lady Polls are rough out there, y’all. Round three started closing yesterday (see what’s still open here), and as of this writing, we have lost Bette Davis, Alla Nazimova, Theda Bara, Myrna Loy, Barbra Streisand, Fay Wray, Lucille Ball, Ginger Rogers, and Olivia de Havilland--and it looks like Catherine Deneuve, Clara Bow, Lana Turner, and Mary Pickford are on their way out. Meanwhile, I learned about a ton of actresses I’d never heard of before, only to shriek when Sharmila Tagore, Nadira, and Waheeda Rehman lost this round. (Edwige, I will never forget you.) 

Let me remind you (and me sometimes, too): Not everyone has the same taste or childhood attachments or cinema experiences as you. And everybody in this bracket loses. Everybody but one. 

(I can tell I’m not cut out for brawling because I’m like, “I will be very sad to see Norma Shearer go, but Hazel Scott seems nice!”)

--

“Actually, Mr. Musk, I am an attorney. Do you know that?” Here’s the highlights of Mark Bankston, the man who brought down Alex Jones, coping with Elon Musk and Elon Musk’s Lawyer, who is not even licensed in Texas, for 100 pages of deposition. 

Hozier Watch 2024: “Too Sweet” has now charted higher in the UK than “Take Me to Church,” and it’s getting real close on the US charts. This is a song that didn’t even make last year’s album. I am endlessly fascinated. 

Happy Leland Melvin Day!

Happy Neil Banging Out the Tunes Day!

“Posting endless DNIs because we can’t (or don’t know we can) make spaces just for the people we do want to interact with” actually makes a lot of sense in this centralized social media hellscape. 

There is a 20k mg weed gummy and nobody needs that. “Forget meeting the Hat Man this is what turns you into the Hat Man. This is worse than that torture drug that makes you experience 600 billion years in a second. This is the secret to honest to god shifting.” 

One of the best uses of the Kate Beaton Poe comic I’ve ever seen

“Americanisms that tell you to check on your American” (they are all correct)

“Tuxedo Mask is the first example of being ‘Kenough’”

Just this once, I will allow this AI rendition of a “traditional Polish family” and their traditional Polish woodchuck. 

I am absolutely not saying there is anything wrong with being into tentacles; I’m just saying that Pyramid Head doesn’t even have them and thus is a pretty tame choice to complain about. 

Little Guy, a game

A cursèd chair called “Oops!”

Sparrow Tarot: Honestly, this is one of my favorite takes on the Hanged Man.

This dog is a biscuit and she is precious

Video

One of the things that’s so great about this Ilia Malinin free-skate program is, he makes it look so effortless that I would have never figured out on my own, without Tumblr’s commentary, that there’s a couple moves in here that no one in the world can do but him. Like, the very first jump and the announcers start screaming. 

A journey from fearing moths to raising them

A dude puts on a dress For the Meme and then discovers that he loves it (and then he styles it as a full outfit and it looks SO GOOD)

Watching this cat ride around on a roomba on a sped-up surveillance camera is self-care.

So is this (although it’s a bit strobe-y)

Bat type: hi doggy

Was the jello for the tuna salad lamb supposed to be lime?

The sacred texts

Holy Shit, Two Cakes

The origin of “Me, an intellectual”

#AllMyLifeIHadToFight

Personal tag of the week

Designer Roberto Cavalli, who passed away this week at age 83. I reblogged several fashion posts--I hadn’t even realized myself that he had designed Beyoncé’s famous yellow dress in Lemonade.

[freezerbride125]

Thank you!!!

@mothercain Following the listening of perverts (which I don't even know what to say yet holy shit) I decided to look back at my concert videos from when I saw you in Central Park on June 27th, so that I could rewatch the videos I have of punish and amber waves. Through watching these concert clips, I have realized that your music has done more for me than I could ever put into words.

I discovered the Preacher's Daughter album through the Broski Report (lol) and decided to give it a full listen. Little did I know that I was in for an experience. Song after song, I felt as if I was transported directly into the album, Ethel became a very real person to me. At first, I took many of the lyrics at face value, making my own interpretations about what the story was getting at, but after my first listen, I dove way deeper into the story of Ethel and all of your music. As someone who struggles with the idea of God and religion as a whole, your music has made me want to find something whether that be faith or purpose or simply meaning in the small things, I want to find SOMETHING.

Your art has made me reach into my own mind to switch things around and think about life in a new way. Through your YouTube videos, Tumblr posts, and music I have discovered new media and ideas that have made me a more versatile thinker. Finding your art has lit an unexplainable spark in my life.

My self-confidence has also improved because of your music. As a tall, Black girl on the heavier side, in a southern (mostly white) town, I have never felt good enough. I am never chosen, the "right" kind of love has never found me, and as a 17-year-old girl, I feel like your music (especially some of the unreleased stuff) is literally vocalizing this feeling that I've felt for years. But something changed inside me when I went to that concert. I felt the happiest I've felt in a long time. I wasn't insecure, I made new friends, and the constant negative voice in the back of my head was silenced. And as I sit back and watch these videos now I am holding back tears because I am finally realizing how beautiful I am. I don't mean to sound ridiculous when I say this but I don't ever feel pretty. I am watching this and I truly look beautiful. Happy, carefree, and in the moment. I know it was a while ago but this is what I remember whenever I am at a low point. I am going to have lows and sometimes they feel like they will never end, but I know that the beautiful girl that I saw at the concert still lives inside of me. It is okay to accept all parts of myself. The parts that I think are ugly, the fat parts, the smart parts, the silly parts, the sad parts, the awkward parts, because I will never be happy with myself if I can't accept all of me. I will not waste what I have.

Thank you, Hayden, without your art, I wouldn't be the girl I am right now. (Sorry if this isn't the profound realization I thought it to be lol I'm just feeling inspired rn)

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

Welcome to Day 2 of my self-imposed challenge for October, where I listen to 31 albums I haven't gotten around to listening to yet in an attempt to clear through my overwhelming Spotify library and document my thoughts.

Day 2.

The Weird And Wonderful Marmozets by Marmozets!

So I found this album actually a few days ago on Google, my homepage has news stories, and an article brought up this album as being "the weirdest rock album of the decade" and I was simply intrigued by how they worded it. I quote "mixed mathcore, punk, indie, and alt-rock into a fresh new take that took the scene over by storm." and as someone who loves a bunch od those things- If not all, I pulled up my spotify IMMEDIATELY to add it. I didn't even bother reading the rest of the article quite frankly. I'm sure it's alright but this, seemed like everything I'd be interested in.

Upon the first track it immediately engaged me with the drums and riffs. Almost electrical in a sense that it ignites the energy and then pulls away to allocate for the vocalist to yell... WHICH... as I'd spoken before I'd just found this from an article so I did not have a whole lot of prior knowledge on the band. I did look a little through their catalog to see they've been inactive since 2017 and that they only have two albums out and an EP(?). I'll have to look into the other album at a different time more in depth, but the female vocalist was NOT expected but holy crap!!!! She literally comes into the track and absolutely owns it. If I could explain her voice, it reminds me a bit of Against The Current's vocalist X Bea Miller during her "Not An Apology" album X Cassidy Mackenzie's covers on YT. Like- it's got a similar sound definitely but unlike anything I'm familiar with.

I adore it! The realization that I have not found many bands with a female vocalist with this type of sound is insane. The only thing however is I do not entirely love the lyrics. Yes, everything SOUNDS great, but the lyrics. It's giving Disney Channel Pop-punk. Which isn't a bad thing at all, but genuinely the sound is great, but the first track fell short in the lyrics.

AND THEN the second track hits. And holy damn the fry in her vocals absolutely was not expecting. GOOD. I completely fucking loved that shit, and it's much more up my alley with everything it is.

Which is amazing because when I write a band au, this is the sound I'm envisioning. This sound. It's so fascinating. Grabbing your attention with the drums and riffs and then toned down to let her be known full force. Such a interesting sound and I think that this track genuinely was everything. "Captivate You" completely enamored me as well, I adored it. A lot of this album I can say I genuinely loved to experience. I don't know how I hadn't found these guys before now!! I would've eaten them up years ago I think. The lyrics sure aren't as mature as I'm familiar with but I think the vocals are genuinely such an eye opener and theres a handful of absolutely amazing track on here. Semi replayabilty, I think I could definitely listen to this a bunch and not feel bored and its a decent length. 46 minutes! Not bad at all.

Would I recommend this? Hm. Possibly? I'm not too sure, I don't think I'd recommend the entire album because it can feel a bit cheesy but I think it's sound is something I have NOT seen before in bands I'm accustomed to listening to. It sets them apart having that female vocalist for me, which I've prompted to educate myself on more bands with female vocalists because it seems that most pop-punk is male dominated, unfortunately. Which this is definitely something of a gem. I think its a good thing to take a chance on if you enjoy the genre and want to switch it up. There's good stuff here. It would be worth the time to give it a spin if you wanted to, but I don't think its a needed thing in full if you just want to see the good stuff. There's cohesiveness, but not all songs are differentiated to where it doesn't feel too different from one another. There's good to be had here, and I did enjoy my time and will be relistening to this record, but there's also better introductions and examples of pop-punk as a genre.

[tsbluvr]

REVIEW THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: CLOWN CIRCUS EDITION

Error: 6/10

Love this song, I would say I dislike it more than some of the other songs on the album mainly due to a bias I have against instrumentals (This song is soo good, but I'm a sucker for vocals)

Lemon Demon: 7/10

This song bring s a fun energy, and I love Aaron's feature. This is a really good song, and my low ranking comes down to my shitty music taste, even for a lemon demon fan.

Ten Thousand Light Years Away: 9/10

HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS SONG okay, this song is definitely one of my album favorites. I love the way that it builds up in the beginning (side note, I'm giggling to myself internally thinking of somebody who has never heard of lemon demon before reading this and deciding to listen to the song from my review, only to be hit by disappointment), I LOVE the elevator music-y instrumental, and (this applies to a lot of Neil's discography) I LOVE LOVE LOVE how he layers vocal harmonies in this song.

Don’t Be Like the Sun: 8/10

Another one of my favorites from the album, Don't Be Like the Sun is the earliest Lemon Demon song, released 1-21-03 (yes I used month first, screw you I do what I want on my Tumblr page). The song goes through many tonal shifts and, like many others in Neil's discography, has mostly nonsensical lyrics. Definitely not a song for everyone, but one of my personal highlights of the album.

Bowling Alley 5/10

This song is focused more on storytelling, starting off as a short instrumental (and you already know how I feel about those) then switching tones as Neil describes (not to the beat) a dream he had the other day. While I feel my last sentence may have come off as a bit hostile, I did not intend that. The song is great, it was just clearly not meant to be listened to the way one would listen to a regular song. While I see the vision, and I see why people may like it, it's not for me, hence the low rating.

Wrong: 8/10

honestly, I don't really have anything to write here. I could just describe the song to pad my review with filler (cough cough my "Don't Be Like the Sun" review cough cough) but I kinda don't wanna. I like it. Good song. 8/10

Hazel’s Modus Operandi: 8.5/10

I love this song. I feel like this song is the sort of song I picture when I think of this album. The lyrics, the overall sound, it's just very clown circus-y, y'know? It's a very chill song. I like the use of expectation subversion in the chorus. I also like how informal I can be when writing this (seriously? "It's a very chill song" pick up a goddamn thesaurus for once in your life) because nobody cares enough to read it (if you're reading this, you lost the game). Anyways, who am I to fret like this. Maybe a song review change will pull me out of this abyss (not so subtle Joe Hawley reference to veil the fact I don't know how to end this review) (also, this review sucks and is completely unreadable to anyone except for me) (also, seriously why are you reading this, this sucks)

Idiot Control Now: 7.5/10

Good cover of a very strange song from MST3K. And I can't think of anymore to say (seriously, I gotta quit it with the references)

Pepper and Salt: 8/10

I feel like in December of last year, I would've given it a 9, but some of the magic of the song has worn off of me. Nevertheless, I still quite enjoy this song. However, I feel like the shitty Jamaican accent that's so shitty I didn't even realize he was DOING AN ACCENT is unnecessary and completely unrelated to the song. Like seriously, why does a song about zombies need a shitty Jamaican accent in it?

Holy Bison Beaks!: 5/10

What I said about Bowling Alley extends here. The song was clearly not meant to be listened to as a regular song, but since I regularly listen to it that way I unfortunately cannot fully enjoy it as intended. I do really like that ironic little, self-referential, catchy freakin' hook though.

Somnolence: 7.5/10

mid. 4 sigmas/10 gyatts (I hate myself and every decision that has lead to me writing out that sentence)

Fire Motif: 8/10

This song radiates with 16 y/o Neil's kind of charming, kind of cringey, kind of both teenage edginess. I mean seriously, "smoke, burning, sparks and red fire?" "They’ll find you. They’ll catch you. They’ll burn you?" When the writing is bad by MY standards? you know it's bad. Despite this, I really like this song (though I still mildly cringe when he says "Love, pain, and such emotions are the coal")

Hyakugojyuuichi 2003 8/10

I feel like this is one of the most iconic songs in the album. A song released by Neil on the two year anniversary of the release of his animation "Hyakugojyuuichi!!!," the song Hyakugojyuuichi 2003 is a song Neil released with FOUR guest features (we'll get into those later) and SO MANY references in it. It's a very catchy song and I don't think Nintendo will ever let Neil upload it to streaming/sell it because of the insane amount of samples it uses from the Pokemon song "Hyakugojyuuichi" (seriously listen to the instrumental, so many samples). It features Aaron Ackerson, Jackson Taylor Wetherbee (a.k.a. Zander), Mark Hughes (a.k.a. Toxic) and Dave Kelly (a.k.a. Shmorky Kay), two of which have (in my opinion) two of THE WORST aging lemon demon verses ever. Shmorky's verse doesn't;t contain anything of note IN THE VERSE, so why would there be multiple YouTube uploads of the song with JUST their verse cut out? Well, a quick YouTube search of "Shmorky" will reveal multiple video essays regarding this animator and likely ex-friend of Neil's grooming allegations, along with an audio clip of him withholding SCHIZOPRHRENIA MEDICATIONS FROM HIS PARTNER (Jesus Christ that is a horrible thing to do). so yeah one could say that the verse aged horribly. Also toxic's verse is just gibberish with a vaguely stereotypical Japanese-ish accent. It's actualy insane to listen to, but it was 2003, what're ya gonna do. also sorry I kind of used this spot to dump all of my pent-up thoughts and opinions in this review space, but I guess that was the whole point of making a review in the first place.

Elsewhere 6/10

Yeah I kinda just don't like it there's nothing to say. sorry I'm kinda worn out from writing my hyakugojyuuichi review to write anything here. also I don't care enough about this song. I was going to apoloise again but I'm not sorry. this song is totally mid. 2 livvy dunnes/3 baby gronks

TOTAL ALBUM RATING: 7.5/10

FAVORITE AND LEAST FAVORITE SONGS

Ten Thousand Light Years Away, Holy Bison Beaks!/Bowling Alley

[blindrapture]

TUESDAY JUNE 7TH, 2011 (The Minotaur of Lloret de Mar)

10:22 AM Oh my god, I’m sleeping a lot. C’mon, Jordan. We don’t want to sleep too much. You never know what the fuck’ll happen if we sleep too much. Let’s get a move on.

10:57 AM Well, I’m in. ..what the fuck, blue sky? There’s a blue sky here. I’m keeping my crowbar close.

11:06 AM This whole town looks completely normal. Blue sky, perfectly well-kept buildings, clean streets, lots of people around, normal people…

11:14 AM I swear I just heard someone whisper “el bufon blanco.” People are looking at me.Fuck. They’re all looking at me. I’m going down this alley.

11:16 AM I was expecting something like getting mugged or something. This is much worse. The sky is red again, the streets are scattered with puddles of blood, I hear cawing in every direction, gunshots and screams in various, and just.. oh my god. The buildings are torn apart. I think I just left a rabbit hole. I didn’t realize I was in one.

11:24 AM Graffiti on the walls. Everyone loves graffiti. A lot of it’s in Spanish. Well, there’s some English. “WHERE ARE YOUR SLCEMS NOW, PUTAS?” “HELL FROM THE SKIES” That sounds like a Pantera album. “COLD BOY” And that sounds like a Lady Gaga song. “CONVOCATION IS CAWS” ”Convocation.” The Thunderbirds are the Convocation, apparently. “WHAT DID DOCTOR CLOUD DISCOVER IN THE GENERA?” Well, that’s cryptic. “DRAW A STAIRWAY FOR MY GOD TO SPITE THE SOFA OF MY FAITH” ”^ UHH WHAT” “^THE WORDS OF DEGAN ALLEN.” ”^ WHEN DID HE SAY THAT, THAT SOUNDS RETARDED.” ”^ LOWEST POINT, NEWFAG.” ”^ YOU’RE THE NEWFAG; THE LINE IS ‘DAWN, I STILL WAIT FOR MY GOD DESPITE THE SELF-HELP OF MY FAITH,’ JACKASS.” Oh my god, “Draw a stairway for my God” is written all over by different handwritings below. These guys are dicks. “WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC OF DEGAN ALLEN, SATCH BOOGIE ROCKS.” ”^ YEAH, BUT WHICH ONE IS PINK?” “EL BUFON BLANCO AQUI” Aqui. I don’t know what aqui means. “THE CHURCH IS SAFE” Ah! A lead! Okay, gotta find the church, then.

11:45 AM “Draw a stairway for my God” is written everywhere now, oh my god. That first guy must feel like a real idiot.

11:52 AM I have no idea where the church is. And there is a lot of blood around here. SHIT

12:00 PM I had to hide. It was a group of people with shotguns. I heard some of them mention me— that is, “el bufon blanco.” I also heard one mention “el rio,” and “el iglesia.” Now, those happen to be words I actually know. “El iglesia’s”… okay, it’s either ice cream, England, or a church. But I’m pretty sure those people would be talking about a church, so I think it’s probably that. “El rio,” when not talking about the town or Duran Duran, is.. uh… either a casino or a river. I think. So I just have to look for a casino or a river, and I’ll.. probably.. figure it out.

12:14 PM Holy goddamn Hoover Dam. That’s a river, alright. There’s a river of blood here. I’m guessing this river used to be a street. A big street. I see strip clubs down there. I’m not supposed to cross this river, am I?

12:22 PM Graffiti outside this pizza shop. “CHURCH ON THE OTHER SIDE OF RIVER” Me and my big mouth. …“DRAW A STAIRWAY FOR MY GOD.”

12:23 PM Alright. How the hell am I gonna cross this river? ..how deep is it? ew Huh, I can just wade across. So I’ll do that.

12:25 PM Oh my god I hate thisrrrffff OH GOD GO FASTER GO FASTER THERE’S A FUCKING …I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS BUT WHATEVER IT IS, IT’S FAR DOWN THE RIVER AND COMING THIS WAY THIS IS A BIG RIVER

12:27 PM Oh my god that’s a Minotaur. There’s a fucking Minotaur coming after me. Run, legs. Run.

12:28 PM DUDE OH GOD Made it. …IT’S STILL AFTER ME, RUN

12:29 PM I’M LOST IN THE WRONG SIDE OF THE RIVER THE BUILDINGS ARE A MAZE OH GOD HELP

12:30 PM blue sky I didn’t even enter an alley. I’m just back in a rabbit hole. ..people everywhere looking at me fuuuuuck. And my pants are soaked in blood at the bottom. And I’m carrying a crowbar. I look extremely suspicious.

12:32 PM Yeaaaah, I’m just gonna walk into this building here, stop looking at me.

12:33 PM RED SKY, I’ve never been so happy to see you. Oh hey, graffiti. “CHURCH THIS WAY” “ALSO WATCH OUT FOR THE MINOTAUR" Oh hey, thanks.

12:35 PM ..I can hear the Minotaur trotting nearby. “CHURCH ->” Okay, I think I should be able to make it if it stays this easy. It’s just Jordan in the Minotaur’s Maze. With a crowbar.

12:37 PM And okay, I just.. what. There are several different alleys and footpaths to go down, and no sign to let me know where to go. ..I hear the Minotaur coming. I need to make a decision.

12:38 PM This was a rabbit hole. Fuck that, going back. OH HELLO MINOTAUR I WAS JUST, UH… GOING INTO THIS RABBIT HOLE! Okay, so much for that. It looks like it’s Jordan in the Minotaur’s Rabbit Hole Maze. With a crowbar.

12:39 PM Let’s fucking do this, into this building. Great, more paths. Let’s take a left. Rabbit hole, four directions. Let’s go forward. Still rabbit hole. Five directions. Uh.. right.

12:40 PM Lloret, three directions. Left. Still Lloret, oh my god. Seven directions, and I can hear trotting coming from somewhere, but the echo in this place… I can’t figure it out. Forward-right.

12:41 PM I’m at the seaside. No churches here, but I see some strings on the beach. Not approaching ‘em, no way. There’s gotta be at least a couple dozen paths back into town from here, so which one will I pick? ..this one. Rabbit hole! ..four choices. Left, forward, up or down. Let’s go down, deeper into the rabbit hole.

12:42 PM ..this is a forest. Trees surround me; I can go anywhere from here. I hear some rustling from the right, so fuck that shit, let’s go left. Forward. Forward-right. Forward. Left. …random wall. Back. c,old whoa hi, uh.. it’s the little kid. From Berga. The kid doesn’t know how to get back; I asked him. I also asked if he wanted to come along with me, as I do intend on finding my way out. He didn’t answer. He just started reciting “Old King Cole.” I don’t like “Old King Cole.” I grew up listening to Genesis’ “The Musical Box,” which had an excerpt from it before cutting back to the main song, and I’m still so used to that. The real version of the nursery rhyme just sounds off to me as a result.

12:46 PM The kid’s following me. He looks cold. But it’s pretty warm here.. wherever we are. I asked him where we are. He said “Xanadu.” o_o Like the Rush song? He wants to get out of here. I told him I did too.

12:47 PM I just took four rights. But I’m in a different place.

12:50 PM Oh my goodness, there’s a ladder. ..the kid’s gone. Fuck it, I’m going up this ladder.

12:52 PM I’m back in the Minotaur’s Maze. I hear stomping very nearby. Left, right, or forwards? ..forwards.

12:53 PM BACKWARDS BACKWARDS BACKWARDS RIGHT NOW LEFT FORWARD RIGHT FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD UP THIS FUCKING STAIRCASE OH GOD DEAD-END. Minotaur Minotaur Minotaaauurrr. …bring it on.

12:54 PM Got him in the eye, now I’m running again oh god! Right! Forward! Left! Right! Left! Forward! Forward! Leeeeeft I hear him Left Right Forward forward left forward Right forward right backward left forward Up this staircase ForwHIDE

12:57 PM There’s a woman on a motorbike. She’s driving by, I’m hiding. ..Minotaur just got fucking shot in the face. Oh my god, the Minotaur’s dead. The lady on the bike is telling me I can come out now. Says to call her “I-330.”

1:04 PM I-330 told me I should turn back now. She said the church is just up ahead, but they’re not gonna let me in. In fact, I’m gonna get shot on sight. Because I’m el bufon blanco, the White Jester. Fucking “Jester;” “bufon’s” a false cognate. I asked why the White Jester’s a bad thing. She said I’m a terrorist and a murderer. I’m “the worst of the Harlequin’s pets,” because I’m after very high figures in the resistance. I tried to explain that I don’t have a choice, and she said I do; I can choose to fight back. She didn’t let me reply. “Just.. watch out. I’d turn back if I were you, White Jester.” Right before she drove off, I asked if she knew what Rapture was. She looked at me. She looked past me. She said “Yes.” I asked what, and she just said “It’s coming. That’s all you need to know.” Then she drove off. So I’m the White Jester. The resistance hates me, wants me dead. Maybe I really shouldn’t go to the church. …but then again, maybe I should. If they won’t let me in, I’ll look elsewhere for Rimara.

1:08 PM Oh my god, that’s a huge church. The towers are colourful. Or maybe that’s just blood. ..I’m gonna knock on the door and ask to be let in. It didn’t work for Solid Snake, but it might work for me.

1:09 PM Maybe nobody’s home HI HI

1:10 PM I asked to be let in, they asked who I am. I asked who they thought. He said “George Jetson.” What a card. So I just said my name. They’re thinking it over now. ..they’re letting me in. This’ll be the first time in my entire life that I’ve set foot in a church.

1:12 PM THEY ALL PULLED PITCHFORKS ON ME Crowbar’s ready.

1:58 PM Hello, Gregori Rimara. I’m raising my crowbFUCKER WHERE ARE YOU GOING FUCK He’s going out to the streets, the maze of streets. WAIT, I NEED TO KILL YOU!

2:03 PM I must have killed, like, a whole squad of rebels, but I can’t catch up to Gregori. ..I-330’s motorbike. Seriously? This isn’t a trap or something? …awesome.

2:11 PM GOT HIM, oh my god. I spotted him, stuck my crowbar out, and I got him. Okay, uh… huh. He’s dead, alright. Yeah, you can’t get much deader than that. Blunt object at high speeds to the head. Yeah. I’m getting the fuck out of this crazy town and putting this entire adventure out of my head. o_e

2:29 PM Motorbikes can go through rabbit holes, whoo. Fuck this maze shit; I’m looking for an expressway or something.

2:30 PM There’s a big sign here that says “Expressway.” …huh.

2:33 PM WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I CAN FEEL THE WIIIND BLOWING THROUGH MY ATTRACTIVE YOUNG BLONDE HAIR. ;D Actually, I can’t. Speed limit’s 10 miles an hour. …ah, what the fuck. There’s nobody around.

2:34 PM I FEEL YOUNG AGAIN :DDDDDD

2:59 PM If you were to ask me where the hell I am now, I wouldn’t be able to answer you. There are some cats wandering around. Normal cats. And there’s a green bus right there. Double-decker. Just sittin’ there, too. This looks like a baaad neighbourhood. The houses look like giant watermelons, but on fire. And there’s a guy over there who’s got two heads. I’m looking for an exit to this rabbit hole.

3:01 PM Mister Two-Head over there’s eating a pumpkin. I keep going past this street but then I just end up driving right back into it. It’s like an endless loop of this neighbourhood. I think I’m gonna look around.

3:03 PM Mister Two-Head’s name is Ryan. Ryan Tuhed, actually. Huh.

3:04 PM Checking out the watermelon house here. That’s on fire.

3:05 PM Holy shit. Journal, do you remember that one room, back on the first day of this Rapture shit? And there was a room with a TV and a chess table? Kinda? Yeah, well… it’s giant now. Like, I’m the size of a cockroach or something. And also, I’m in it. In case that wasn’t obvious.

3:10 PM It took me five minutes to walk from one end of the room to the other. Where the hell am I supposed to go? ..there’s a giant air vent there.

3:18 PM Finally reached it, and I’m in now. Not sure where I’m going. Holy fuck I’m in a spaceship. There’s that Sun of Nothing again, the giant eye. It’s watching me. I’m buying some curtains.

3:30 PM I’ve looked all over this little spaceship, and I can’t seem to find any clue as to where I’m supposed to go. I mean, there’s one locked door, but I doubt the exit’s in there. Then again, I’ve been wrong before.

3:35 PM Okay, how am I gonna open this goddamn door. ..oh my god duh, crowbar, hello. I’m stupid. Kay, here goes.

3:36 PM It’s pretty dark in there. LET’S DO IT. I can’t see shit Took a right. Still not sure where I am. FFU Nearly fell down something. I’m now crossing a bridge. I think. Kay, uh.. just hugging the walls now, where do I go. …I heard a growl. I’m running. found a crawlspace oh my god hurry

3:39 PM LIGHT. Oh. What. Wait. I think it’s a Metallica concert. What the hell, let’s watch.

3:42 PM “Fuel.” waitwaitwait GIMME FUE GIMME FAI GIMME DABAJABAZAH! ..the whole crowd is booing, the entire crowd is booing. They’re chanting “Frayed Ends of Sanity.” Over and over. All together.

3:43 PM Holy shit, Metallica’s actually playing it. I gotta admit, the crowd has good taste. I love this song, nice and proggy when it gets going.

3:50 PM “And Justice For All,” they’re chanting. And so the band plays it.

4:00 PM “One.” They play it.

4:18 PM “Blackened.” They play it.

4:24 PM “To Live is to Die.” Sheesh, why not just ask to play the whole Justice album, guys? It’d be easier.

4:35 PM “Dyer’s Eve.” And so they play it.

4:40 PM Then they go back to “Frayed Ends of Sanity.” o_o I’m getting out of here.

4:42 PM Holy shit, Neil Peart is out here. I’m so talking to him.

4:50 PM Neil says this is called the Camper Festival. All day, every day. The crowd forces bands to go up and play their most progressive pieces. Neil says, if they ask for “2112” again, he’s gonna punch a guy in the face. I asked if he knows the way out. He does, though he can’t take it, himself. Not until Rush has played. It’s out that door right there. Finally, I asked him if he knows what the hell Rapture is. He stared at me like I was crazy. Then he said “It’s coming.” Going now.

4:52 PM On my way out, I saw Peter freaking Gabriel. Of Genesis fame. He told me, first, that “Rapture is coming” (like I didn’t already know), and that Phil’s gone missing. Phil Collins, that is. ..now I’m going!

4:55 PM This is reality, oh my god finally. Red sky. I seem to be far from Lloret. Good. I’m fucking starving.

4:58 PM ..seriously, a gas station? Where there’s a gas station, there’s food!

5:50 PM Man, I was hungry. I also decided to look at the list of people to convert. I’ve converted everyone Mistress told me to. There were only three. So what do I do now? Do I just head back? I mean, I suppose. I imagine getting back will be the fun part. I’m gonna walk along this road until I find a house.

6:42 PM Found one. I’m gonna rest up long tonight. I have a long journey home ahead of me, and I plan on looking for as many rabbit holes as I can find to make the journey quicker. So for now, I’m sleeping. Night-night, journal. We’ll be seeing Donnie soon enough. :3

(Attached: “Cringing as I am at Jordan’s behaviour through these logs, I feel it necessary to insert an anecdote of a.. relatively older Jordan, as told from an outside perspective, to perhaps colour the reading experience in a different way. The following took place, I believe, when the two of us went our way through Europe for some errand or two. Jordan and I, being old friends by this point, spent our journey catching up on old times and old humour. On many occasions, he would point at some sight and try to find something witty to say about it, much like he appears to do in his solitary scribblings. Now, a lot of the things he pointed out were such things as blown-up schools, flooded streets, amputee strangers limping along their empty shell of an everyday life, shriveled up and soggy Gingerbread Men lying in gutters and coughing up sprinkles, and landscapes soaked with dried-up blood, so his wit didn’t always work. But I’m not here to critique his jokes; I’m here to suggest a point about a companion. There was one instance in particular that still sticks to my memory: He saw a spidercat that had had four of its legs torn off, its mandibles mangled, and its extra eyes poked out, and he pointed at it and said, --- Look, it’s a cat. I shifted my eyes and said I didn’t really want to look at it. So he tilted his head and asked why not. -- There’s enough suffering, I replied, folding my arms. He looked at the poor spidercat again, curled up under a wooden table in a house’s front yard and trying to sleep and forget, and then he looked back at me, frowning. --- I didn’t mean… -- Forget about it, it’s fine, let’s just keep moving. Where are we now, Poland? He nodded and followed me down the street. I asked how much further it was to.. whatever our destination was at the time. --- A few hundred miles? I dunno, we can ask EAT when we find her. -- Where did it go, anyway? --- Didn’t say. He squeaked a little, then cleared his throat. --- I don’t know. It usually tells me. I slowed down to let him catch up and put my hand on his back. He looked at me and forced a smile. As we walked, he asked me about time travel, how that went. I told him it works, it’s just a little more limited than I’d expected. --- Doesn’t this mean that you could just.. leave this all behind? You could go back to the way things were, the way the world used to be. -- I guess. I’ve only done it once, and it didn’t last long enough, maybe there are adverse effects if I stay for too long. Or… I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it. Been caught up in trying to help the world as it is now, y’know? --- That makes sense. Then we walked in silence.”)

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[lipslikethegardensofbabylon]

now that i’ve had sufficient time to digest it i’m going to share my (spoiler) eras tour thoughts:

- lover set

lover and rep were my favorite sets. the opening is artistic and so beautiful, screaming cruel summer was a religious experience, the archer brought me tears, i loved hearing lover live even if it pains her to sing it :( the man was honestly never my top on the album neither was yntcd but they were fun to dance and sing to. plus the lover outfits are all GOD TIER i’ll fight people on this

- fearless set

when she sang ybwm i literally blacked out and ascended i don’t remember a thing but i was told later that the whole stadium was shaking. that’s how many people were jumping. this was in the 100s and 200s. and yes i did the double clap

- evermore set

ttds is one of my favorite and most beautiful songs. she had so much fun performing champagne problems and i love a piano moment. tolerate it didn’t do it for me but that’s never been my fave. marjorie made me cry so hard. our show was the first that did the lights and i loved taylor’s reaction

- reputation set

literally all of it was so good i wouldn’t change a thing except to add even more songs. lwymmd was always that bitch and the performance reminds me of the height of the mv like both are filled with so much imagery i’m still thinking about it

- speak now set

i love you baby but enchanted was never a fave off of speak now but i’m glad everyone else loves her so much

- red set

this was a fun set but as much as i loooove red/red tv this set was just okay for me. i think it’s bc i’ve seen so much red content and listened to that album soo much idk it just wasn’t a top one for me. i think if she played ones i loved (holy ground, state of grace, treacherous, better man etc) instead of the hits i’d feel differently. her performance of atw was show stopping though

- folklore set

mtr was beautiful and chilling how much heart she puts into it. i feel kind of similar vibes with the red set where if she’d played my faves (i’m looking at you mirrorball) i’d feel differently but it wasn’t one of my faves. but the folklore dresses are all serves

- 1989 set

wildest dreams live was soooo good and i heard mixed reviews re: shake it off but considering this was like 2~ hours into dancing it awakened something in me and i shook, my friends. bad blood was SO GOOD like SO GOOD but she’s always been a fave. the beginning of the set was cute too bc my love went to the bathroom and came back when it was starting and actually had gone to the merch line and bought me a tee shirt lol

- midnights set

i was honestly tired by this point lol. vigilante shit was just such a moment i was torn between wanted to record the whole thing and wanted to drink that tall blonde glass of water with my eyeballs. i still love that hard sit she does. i wish maroon was on the setlist but i know we cannot have everything. i loved bejeweled but the visuals for it were kind of creepy with the actual diamond eyes. it kinda reminded me of rep

- my surprise songs:

guitar: the other side of the door, high infidelity. i honestly have never really listened to tosod but it was so fun watching her sing it, and high infidelity was soooo fun to hear live on april 29th lol

piano: coney island, gorgeous. coney island was coincidentally a song i’d been singing a lot to myself but the piano performance of it was beautiful. i also felt v special that we got the first reputation song AND it was gorgeous AND it was on piano like literally dayd before i’d texted my friend how gorgeous on piano would be so pretty but what i didn’t realize was how fun it’d be lol

bonus: we also got the cat joke and when our show ended it was raining outside so everything was perf <3

[fearlesspeaknow]

Idk if anyone will read this but I am going to use this as my journal to get this realization out of my brain.

A month ago my husband talked to me about a divorce. This weekend was my moving time into my own apartment. He helped me move but there was a lot of tested patience.

Anyway, drives back and forth from old apartment to new, of course, I have TTPD playing. Yesterday I was headed in my car back to the old place listening to LOML. I started crying because I realized “this is really happening. This isn’t a dream” I allowed myself for the first time in a month to feel the sadness. ICDIWABH then came on. I always felt confused as to why that song even made the album because it’s so 1989 coded but in this moment I realized. Going through a divorce is grief and with grief it’s so quick how emotions can change especially in the face of needing to get shit done. I was tired from moving, feeling anxious, scared, etc. and I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. I had to keep going, I had to keep moving (figuratively and literally), I had shit to do. Life goes on. It doesn’t stop no matter how hard we want it to. The Smallest Man Who Ever lived then comes on and the vibe is sad again. I never pay attention, really, to the track listing and how strategic I know Taylor is with it but in that moment I realized “holy shit. This is what it’s like”. Sad to powerful and strong back to sad.

If you’ve read this, thank you. It’s just something I needed to say and a realization about the album that I’ve just come to and felt. Taylor never ceases to amaze me and TTPD is really a great album and I knew it would come to me in a time where I needed it most (she tends to do this often for me haah). 🖤🤍🩶

[figothynewton]

First listen thoughts of Unreal Unearth!!

Disclaimer: when it comes to his music I am literally incapable of thinking it’s bad all of these reviews are good and I don’t take criticism ps sorry for the long post oml

De Selbys: part 1 STUNNING the fuckin gorgeous Gaeilge vocals at the end???? The tranSITION TO DE SELBY 2 COME ON !!!!!!

First time- SOME PART OF ME MUST HAVE DIED THE FIRST TIME YOU CALLED ME BABY??????????? FUCK!!!!!!! God the rhythm his fucking voice the instrumentals !!!!! So good

Francesca- phenomenal as we already know

I, Carrion- Girl I already knew I was gonna like I, Carrion cause like hello I am a whore for Greek mythology and especially Icarus like sunlight is one of my favorites BUT “if we fall I only pray you don’t fall away from me” I am weeping it is so so beautiful oh my god

Eat your young- as fucking amazing as always

Damage gets done- Brandi Carlile and Hozier’s voices blend beautifully and this song feels like something you’d hear in like a coming age movie when the main character is having her realization that her life is changing for the better like full on perks of being a wallflower car tunnel scene (and yes I fucking love it)

Who we are- are the fucking vocals in that middle part him??? How is he physically capable of doing that???? Holy! Shit!

Son of Nyx- I think the best way to describe this is that my sister sent me the gif of Pinocchio from shrek rising out of the bed cause. Yeah.

All things end- remaining probably my favorite from the eat your young ep

TSFAWC(U)- Y’all. I had to replay the intro of to someone from a warm climate about five times “a joy hard learned in winter was the warming of the bed you’d shake for minutes there and move your legs wrap the blanket over you and keep your head within let your breath heat the air until you’d feel it getting thin” FUCK I need help PLEASE Ohp ok and now I’m crying again wow I almost choked from crying I’m not doing well

Butchered Tongue- girl I’m just gonna not stop crying am I ? it’s still singing here above the ground ??? Screaming crying yelling throwing up

Anything but- ! So fun!! But still so like melancholy like I’d give anything to run away! Clapping reminiscent of almost (sweet music) and it just feels like they were having fun dining the background vocals just so good

Abstract (psychopomp) really be making me fell that post about not being able to understand him cause if he wanted me to know the words he would have enunciated but lord I still love it. upon hearing there’s a part of me I’m afraid will always be trapped within an abstract from a moment of my life and I wish I could go back to not understanding the lyrics that fully made me cry all over again

Unknown/Nth- so the album hasn’t been out long enough for me to decide what my favorite out of the whole thing is but this has been my fav if the early/single releases so this one is for sure up there

First light- wow just wow wow so like I don’t even know how to describe it like I hate the word epic cause it’s so 2000s but like it truly is so like epic and powerful the sheer strength of his voice is genuinely jaw dropping just wow wow wow wowowowoowowo

So it was just a first listen through I don’t know which my favorite is yet but wow they are all just stunning it’s just an incredible album so so so good