#holy shit i forgot i didn't post today........

[pavus]

PROMPT : Qunari. DRAGON AGE 2 ERA. Words: 1077. Characters: Verity Hawke x Isabela.

Isabela was not easily deterred when it came to Verity.

Her lover was even more handsome than Aveline… and larger, as well, which was an impressive feat in and of itself. She stretched far above the rank and file – a veritable tower of bird, standing proud amongst the squalor of Lowtown and the perfumed rabble of Hightown. Had she been a head shorter or half as wide, Isabela might not have felt quite so safe in her company.

Especially not with how often her work drove her into the damned Qunari encampment. 

If anyone else had been so intent on working with them, she might’ve said her farewells months prior, but the truth was that Isabela didn’t want to be freed of Hawke’s inner circle.

She liked Hawke’s inner circle.

Very much so, in fact.

READ THE REST ON AO3.

[hrts4soyeon]

love?

giselle x fem!reader

genre: angst

warnings: super toxic relationship, manipulation, cursing, mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol, infidelity

synopsis: everything started out so well, your relationship with giselle was amazing. she changed so much, she changed for the worse. with all that she did to you you couldn't help but wonder, was this really love?

word count: 2,508

a/n: i posted this but then i really didn't like it so i changed it and now i like it🤗🤗

You were a part of (G)I-dle but before that you had been in Produce 101 with Soyeon. You were the youngest in Produce 101, having been 14 when you went on Produce along with Soyeon and Eunbin. You were exceptional in both singing and dancing, even though you were so young you had managed to keep your position in a class (b at the lowest) throughout the entire show. Before Produce 101 you hadn't had many friends seeing as you spent all your time training. Sure you had Soyeon, but she was more of an older sister to you than a friend.

When you joined Produce 101 and met Somi you were overjoyed, you finally had someone your age that you could relate to and talk to. From the moment you joined Produce, Somi caught your eye, and after one conversation with her you knew you two would get along very well. She completely matched your personality. You and Somi had been very popular after the episodes were aired as both of you didn't lack in visuals or talent. Sadly you hadn't been popular enough and didn't make it to debut with Somi. Despite this, your determination to debut and become famous never faded, telling yourself it was better like this and that you’d debut with Soyeon instead.

Ever since their debut you had been a huge fan of aespa, having listened to all their songs and bought all their albums. You had spoken out about it too, how much you loved aespa and their music. Most of all, you loved one japanese member in aespa. Ever since you heard their first song it was her voice that caught your attention, and when you saw her? You knew you had to have her, you wouldnt rest until you did. 

Somi coincidentally had been good friends with Giselle too, and after a lot of begging she finally introduced you to her. You and Giselle completely hit it off, at the first meeting you two were already planning the second. 

After having met, you two were inseparable, with her always being at your dorm and you at hers. With how close you became with Giselle in such a short time, it was no surprise to any of your friends when your friendship progressed to more.

When Soyeon was first told of your relationship with Aeri being more than friends, she became very wary of the girl. She considered you her younger sister and had heard a lot of rumors about Aeri and all her flings with girls. Aeri was known to be a rumored heartbreaker, having a new girl every week. The last thing Soyeon wanted was for you to end up with a broken heart. She also knew how easily manipulated you were and the thought that someone would use you made her sick.

“Aeri where were you?! I've been waiting literal hours for you, you promised you wouldn't do this again!” you yelled as soon as Aeri entered her room. 

Today was one of the rare off days you both had and she planned a date. You were left waiting at the restaurant for 2 hours telling yourself she would come any minute, minutes turned to hours and you eventually realized she wasn't coming. 

You felt humiliated, stood up at the reservation she made. After confirming with Karina that Giselle was indeed off today you went to the aespa dorms and just waited in Aeri’s room. 

“Get off my back holy shit, you're so dramatic. So what I had other things to do and I forgot we can reschedule.” she responded starting to get mad, who were you to yell at her. 

“This is literally the second time you’ve done this, why can't you consider my feelings and how i must’ve felt getting stood up twice.” you tried to reason, make her understand why you were upset.

“Literally shut up oh my god, if all you’re gonna do is complain get the fuck out of my room and leave. I'm tired. It's been a long day, either get in bed and sleep or go back to your dorm. I really don't care.” Giselle said as she stripped from her current clothes and put on her pajamas. 

“I fucking hate you.”

“Get in bed”

And that’s exactly what you did, you laid down and turned your face away from her, you laid at the very edge of the bed trying to get as far away from her as you could. You wanted her to know that you were upset and werent gonna cuddle. In response to this she simply put an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to her body, spooning you. This is what would always happen, and you would let it happen. this was her way of resolving fights because she knew you could never refuse her. 

The next morning when you woke up Giselle wasn't there next to you, in place of her laid a small note declaring her love for you and how she would take you out again. But she didn't apologize, she never did.

Giselle was someone who simply couldn't accept their mistake, her pride never allowed her to. It was as if she was allergic to apologizing, even if she wanted to she couldn't ever bring herself to apologize. The thought of her having to bend down and admit she was at fault? Never in her wildest dreams would she do that, she had too much of an ego to ever admit that she was at fault.

That same day Giselle had gone to your dorm when the time was nearing midnight. Showing up with a bouquet of roses in one hand and a basket in the other. 

“Wait right here.” she said as you two arrived at the park near your dorm. 

You watched as she quickly ran over to a spot that was out of your sight, you assumed that there had been a blanket (maybe some snacks) in the basket. Either way you didnt move from the spot she had left you at. feeling excitement growing in your chest the longer she took.

You wished and hoped she had set up something big but you tried to stay realistic and not get your hopes up too high. you told yourself that she might be having troubles with setting up the blanket.

When it almost seemed like too long of a wait time (only a couple of minutes had felt like forever) she came back excitedly telling you to cover your eyes, to which you did as she led you towards where she had been. You couldn't help but feel excitement when she did all this, you had seen this scene multiple times in movies and you couldn't help but wish this would be like the movies

She tapped your shoulder and told you to open your eyes when you two arrived at where she had been. As your eyes opened you couldn't help but let out an automatic gasp at the sight of everything. It was exactly like the movies. She had led you into a small area completely surrounded by bushes and a couple of trees that she had covered in fairy lights. It was completely concealed from anyone else, being a small personal space for the two of you. On the grass she had laid a pastel blue fluffy blanket and on that she had a bunch of your favorite snacks, her laptop, and a bunch of pillows. 

“I found this place when i was still a trainee and i haven't told anyone about it so i guess it could just be our little spot from now on.” she said as she waited for you to jump on her and shower her with compliments for being so sweet and planning all this. 

“I love you sosososo much this is actually so amazing and thank you so much for planning this!” you said as you went to kiss her. 

After breaking off the short lived kiss she sat down on the blanket and patted the spot next to her. You sat down wordlessly as she opened her laptop and put on mean girls, a movie that was favorited by you both. You both laid back and ate as you watched the movie happily. You felt like a character in a movie or book, you loved her so much and you couldn't believe she had been this thoughtful. 

Before you knew it the movie had already ended and as you checked the time on your phone your eyes widened. It was already 2am and you had a schedule tomorrow, you pondered on leaving right now and getting some sleep but ultimately decided against it. You'd rather stay with Aeri, sleep was overrated anyways.

You woke up the next morning to your phone ringing, lifting your head from Aeri’s chest and drowsily answered the call. You were immediately woken up by the shouting of your roommate Yuqi on the other end.

“Where the fuck are you?! I told Soyeon you were in the bathroom but you’ve now been in the bathroom for 10 minutes to her! Get the fuck back right now before she kills both me and you!” Yuqi yelled at you through the phone

“Okay, okay I'm sorry.” you replied before hanging up at checking the time on your phone, whispering curses when you realized you had 20 minutes to get back to the dorms and get ready.

Hearing all the noise you were making, Aeri woke up and tiredly asked you what had happened and you quickly explained the situation to her. She immediately got up and grabbed her laptop and your hand to walk you back to your dorm. You both walked back in a comfortable silence as she was still half asleep and you were stressed out of your mind. 

“Thank you for last night babe, i love you.” you kissed her goodbye as you two arrived at your dorm. 

And as if sensing you were there Soyeon opened the door of your dorm mid kiss and you immediately jumped away from Giselle. She just stared at you and told you to get in and ready seeing as you had close to 10 minutes left. You awkwardly waved to Giselle and Soyeon shut the door looking at you disappointedly she never approved of your relationship with Giselle.

You wanted to say something, but nothing was coming out of your mouth. You felt bad disobeying her but you loved Giselle. Why couldn't she understand that?

“why, why can’t i ever be prioritized? you always ditch me and it hurts. it fucking hurts to know you’re at a bar flirting with others and ditching me.” you sobbed out, you had lost count at how many times she had done this

she always did this, she always ditched you. at this point you didn’t even know why she kept you around. you loved her so fucking much it hurt, it hurt to stay with her. you wondered what you had ever done to deserve this, you had never been this bad to anyone. 

“babe no matter what i do i always come back to you no? you’ll always be my priority, i just like to talk to people. you know it doesn’t mean anything.” she said in a calm voice, you knew it was all an act, she was pretending to be sober. 

but you could taste it on her tongue when you kissed, you could smell the perfume of the girl she had just fucked on her dress when you took it off. you didn't know what to do.

you didn’t want to believe it. so you didn't, when you were left standing outside of her room hearing the moans of a girl that wasn’t you.

you just stood in front of the door, you didn’t make an attempt to stop what you knew was happening. none of the girls were home, if they were they never would’ve let you enter. they probably would’ve said some bullshit like Giselle was out. whenever they told you things like this you just left, you knew they were lies. you weren’t stupid. 

you knew any sane person would leave, but you weren’t sane, she made you insane. you loved her like crazy, you weren’t like this before, she changed you. made you the perfect girlfriend for her who never said anything. 

you sometimes wondered if you ever even had any self respect, it was humiliating, to know what she was doing yet actively doing nothing about it. 

when you first caught her with another girl you just stood there in shock, you didn’t know how to react. as if she could feel your presence, Giselle turned to face you, her fingers still deep inside the other girl. she didn’t stop though, she just stared at you while fucking the girl. and you just stood there crying, you were heartbroken. we’re you not enough? did you not do enough? did she not like you anymore? 

eventually when the girl noticed you standing there crying she pushed Giselle off of her apologizing to you saying she didn’t know Aeri had a girlfriend. apparently Aeri didn’t remember she had one, judging by her actions. 

“babe you know it’s only you that i love, sometimes i just need someone else to satisfy my needs when you’re away but they’re nothing. they’re nothing to me, you should be glad that i always end up back with you. you’re the one for me, they’re all just side hoes that don’t mean anything other than a quick fuck.” Giselle said as she approached you, her fingers still wet from the other girl. 

you didn’t know what to say or do so you just nodded and let her comfort you. 

You couldn't fathom ever losing Giselle, that was probably your worst nightmare, to have Giselle tell you she no longer loved you. You knew staying was terrible, maybe even worse than losing her. You were stuck in a never ending loop with her breaking your heart and you acting upset but ultimately letting it go. after a while you stopped getting upset, there was no point. talking to her was talking to a wall. 

You felt like you were suffocating keeping all your emotions to yourself, Soyeon already hated giselle, why would you want to add to the fire? Somi? Somi was Giselle's best friend, she probably only fell second to you. Your members? They would probably stop supporting your relationship with Giselle and be like Soyeon. 

Whenever you told yourself it’d be the last time for you to let what she was doing slide she would make it up to you extravagantly. How could you stay mad when she was trying so hard and doing so much for you. She could really fuck you up sometimes but she always knew how to make it okay afterwards. 

This wouldn't go anywhere, you knew that full well. She would never change and neither would you. in the end all you could do was take it.

[croucify]

✶ CLOSE2U — josh ovalle x reader

001 ✶ Some Girl

close2u masterlist – next

SUMMARY: you and josh's relationship over the years! (smau & irl)

DISCLAIMER: reader is a dark haired girl and for some pics that aren’t faceless, i’ll be using beabadoobee bcs she is Awe. Some. and also filipino LOL

A/N: i love and miss josh so much so i made this series!!! alsooo reader is a musician&youtuber

liked by filmquaker, irisapatow, and others

ynln life is so Pink! recently

view comments

user111 you are soooo cutesy

user638 this has to be an album tease right?

↳ ynln i have no idea what ur talking bout haha

user008 Im here cause Enya and the friend grp

user521 who else on here cause the podcast episode?

user014 JOSH OVALLE LIKED!!!!

↳ ynln Omfg the viner??

↳ user014 yassss queen!

↳ ynln i was obsessed with his vines holy shit

yn ☆ @ynln

jared 19 just liked my post today i might cry

20 replies 3 retweets 79 likes

222 @user222

joshua???? THE joshua ovalle? filmquaker?

↳ 5 @user5

YES HE DID I JUST CHECKED

star @ynslover

Thats crazy didnt Enya and Drew just bring her up in the recent episode too???

↳ @enyaupdates

yes they did! such a small world

11 @user111

MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDINGGGGG

ynln posted on their story !

enya had called you earlier in the day to come hang out at their place as it has been a long time since you've seen each other.

5 minutes into their apartment, they started getting distracted and ended up using their electronics.

"guys what the fuck," you say, chuckling right after taking their photo. "this is actually insane."

"what? why?" enya looks up from her phone and scoots closer to you, trying to look at your phone.

you face the phone toward her and she laughs.

"drew looks fucking insane!" the two girls laugh and they hear the front door open. you're startled by it, thinking who it could possibly be as you knew only drew and enya lived here.

"i hear you bitches laughing at me and my apple vision, i just know y'all are jealous." the curly-haired man says, still focused on his gadget.

footsteps start being heard as the person gets closer to the living room.

you would've never expected it to be josh. "oh my god he's still on that?" he instantly says to enya while pointing to their roommate who was basically in his own little world.

then josh's gaze falls on you, he gives you a smile and you reciprocate it.

"he actually took it off when y/n got here then put it back on after 5 minutes..." he shakes his head, trying not to laugh as enya spoke.

"oh also! josh! this is y/n, i forgot this is your first time meeting each other!" enya introduces the two together and you both say hey at the same time.

josh sits on the other side of the sofa as enya continues to talk about what happened while he was out, his attention going from his two roommates and then to their visitor.

his friends have brought you up in the past, mostly enya as she was closer to you, talking about your music and your projects — even planning on inviting you over for the podcast.

"y/n over here told me earlier she was so obsessed with you during your vine era and said she actually found your family's social media and address before." enya jokes and laughs at herself.

you chuckle but feel your cheeks heat up as the first part is somewhat true.

"oh my god i didn't know you let in a psychopath in our apartment," josh replies and pretends to be scared.

all three of you laugh then drew takes the gadget off his eyes.

"damn now what are y'all talking about i want some attention too!" drew tells them and they all burst into laughter.

as the night went on, the four of you got to talk about everything and anything. then, enya remembered what she wanted to tell you.

"i almost forgot, are you free next week on tuesday?" her focus only on you while drew got up and went to their kitchen.

"yeah i think? why, what's up?" your head tilted a bit as you responded.

she smiles at you, looking at josh who looked up from his phone the moment you and enya started talking then she turns her head back to see where drew is.

"okay fuck it, i was gonna wait for drew but he's taking too long. we wanted to invite you to guest on the podcast!" she says excitedly as she sees your eyes widen.

"oh my god yeah of course!"

"drew! she said yes!" the curly-haired girl beside you exclaimed.

lmk if u wanna part of the taglist!!

[ice-sculptures]

hey everyone!! so, originally, i wanted to do one of these back when all of y'all were posting your 'follow forever' + favorite blogs lists for new year's eve, but at that point in time i didn't feel like i knew anyone well enough to make a full list. but now, it's been almost nine months (holy shit!!!) since i joined this fandom, and there have been so many people that i've connected with and who have made my experience on here so much fun and so special.

plus...it's my birthday today, so i thought - what better way to celebrate it than to show my immense love & appreciation for all my mutuals, followers friends, and anyone who has ever made my tumblr experience better?

this isn't really in any particular order, and also, i am so so sorry if i forgot anyone. i had to type this out at least six times over the past two months because tumblr kept deleting my progress for some reason, so i'm really sorry if i missed anyone because of it. i recognize the urls of anyone that regularly interacts with my posts, so i promise that if you've ever left nice tags in the reblogs of my gifs or replied to any of my WIPS or tagged me in a gifset or in a tag game or sent me a nice ask or anything at all, really, please know that i think you're wonderful and i love you all so much even if tumblr hates me and decided to erase all of the evidence of it 😅

okay, enough dillydallying!! putting this under a cut so that it doesn't swallow ur dash whole....n here we go :)

@fireplceashes hi jen!! i know i said like. just one paragraph above that this was in no particular order, but i immediately broke the no. 1 rule of law and lied, bc as my very first friend in this fandom you are so undoubtedly so special to me and i'm putting you first just because i Can and no one can stop me. but anyway. where do i even begin with you? you are easily one of the sweetest people i have Ever, ever met - not just on tumblr, but in my real life as well - and i really love talking to you So much. thank you so much for always listening to my rants, and checking up on me, and just generally being there for me. you're just a really soothing person to talk to and i never have to worry about being 'too much' or anything like that when i'm talking to you. and of course - you are also so, so talented, and your gifs are absolutely stunning. they always turn out so beautifully, and i'm so in awe of your editing skills. basically...i'm just Very grateful to have met you, and *mike wheeler voice* all of my other mutuals, they're great, but my fandom experience would not be the same without you ❤️

@basiltonpitch spencer!! i feel the need to echo the first thing i said to you and remind you that i think you're a genius :') fun fact that i haven't told you: when i first found your blog, even before i realized that you were That person who wrote the benvi meta that i loved, the first posts that i saw from you were your beautiful web weavings, and i was immediately like Who is this person??? and Who gave them the permission to stomp all over my heart like this?? wtf?? i just. i love ur brain So so much and i'm so grateful that i get to enjoy your creativity in not one but two of my favorite fandoms (soon to be 3 with 911 maybe?) oh also...this is slightly embarrassing but i've gone back through your blog a few times just so i can read your incredible meta because all of your thoughts are so valuable to me. you are the Only person on this site that i trust to Get devi vishwakumar and one of the biggest reasons why i'm so excited for never have i ever s4 to drop is so that i can experience it alongside you!! and even outside of your creative genius, you are one of my favorite people to talk to bc you're so kind and so supportive and such an absolute sweetheart and i really love hearing everything you have to say. so. um. basically. i am just a Spencer Enthusiast through and through 💖

@padmedala carson!! hello!! first off, i've said this to you a million times, but i want to thank you once again for writing one of my favorite pieces of byler fanfiction. do you know that one post about reading fanfics and having to stop because 'he would not say that?' well, your work is the epitome of reading a fic and feeling wholly satisfied because yes, he would say that - in fact, i would not hesitate for a minute to say that you have the strongest grasp on will and mike's characterization - especially their dynamic together - out of any writer i've met in this entire fandom. like...i enjoy your writing so much that i've read a couple of your pieces for IT despite not having any knowledge of the source material simply because i wanted to experience more of your work. you're also such a deeply kind and supportive person, and you have no idea how much i appreciate every single time you've checked up on me or sent me a sweet message or even just dropped into my inbox to say hello. you make my dash infinitely brighter, and i'm so very glad to know you and have you as a friend on here 💞

@wllbyers dani!! hi!! i have so much to say abt how wonderful you are, and i was struggling w how to articulate this for a while, but then i remembered that you once said to me that you found my presence on the dash comforting, and honestly, that's exactly how i feel about you. forgive me for the awkward metaphor, but seeing you on the dash is like coming home after a long day and having a warm, home-cooked meal. seeing your url and icon always makes me smile, and i'm so grateful that we're mutuals because of how kind, considerate, and utterly genuine you are!! i don't know if i'm describing this right, but you just feel so real, you know? i feel like your personality shines through with every post you make, and i always love seeing it. and i'm sorry if this is weird to say, but your openness and your authenticity about everything going on in your life makes me feel a little bit less alone about my own struggles. also do you remember when you started watching 911 and eventually ended up getting ahead of me, and you tagged each and every one of your posts just so that i wouldn't get spoiled? i know it seems simple, but the sheer fact that you thought of doing that just for me had me melting into a little puddle w my face looking like that one meme of kristen bell. you are just so, so lovely and i'm unbelievably glad we're mutuals 🥰

@willblogger ima i've said this many times before but i absolutely Need to say it again: you are genuinely the funniest person on byler tumblr. i cannot count the number of times that you've made me full-on belly laugh (to the point where my stomach starts to hurt) and completely destroyed my attempts to casually and inconspicuously scroll through tumblr in public places. i dunno how you do it at all but every single thing you say is such an absolute delight and i am always giggling n kicking my feet when i read the tags on all of your posts. the thousands of people on tiktok and twitter copying your jokes could never do it like you. you've also got this deep understanding of the way the text has been written and i really appreciate how your analysis honors the characters as they are instead of trying to make them more palatable them for this fandom. it's just. it's rare to find people that love these characters as they are and understand them as well as you do and i feel very lucky to have found your blog. also this is not related at all but ur plushies are cute as fuck & i love them :) OH!! n thank u sm for being my number one stevebucky enthusiast mutual n partner in rage when it comes to avengers endgame!! can't wait to have a hate party w you (if you'd like) in five days 💗

@willelfanpage SARA HI HELLO do u see me waving at you. this is me holding up a banner screaming abt how much i love you. as the resident fandom cheerleader who gives and gives and gives so much love to everyone she interacts with, you deserve someone cheering YOU back on and that is what i am here to do!! you are so brilliant and you have never made an incorrect post in your life!!! all your fics are wonderful and i've loved reading them!! you are kind, you are smart, you are funny, and you make everyone around you feel so safe and comfortable and welcome here. like. i can't tell you how much i admire how open you are with your kindness and friendship and how you give it so freely to everyone you interact with. i love talking to you so much - whether it's hearing about your life or sharing our ideas with one another or just. venting about anything i want to - and your enthusiasm is utterly infectious and makes me feel more hyped and excited to be in fandom. forgive me for being so sappy on main but i will never not be touched by your endless love for fandom, not only these characters and the works that people make, but for the people around you as well and i hope u know i love u very much too 💞

@jackietaylcrs hii marianne fellow haver of good taste!! i remember you once made a post wondering if your followers would still love you if your stranger posting went down to 0.5% and i wanted to lyk that i definitely would!! i really like reading your commentary on ST and yellowjackets, but even when you're posting about a show that i'm not familiar with, you have this Way of speaking that i find very charming and funny and entertaining, and you bring this inimitable energy to my dash that i doubt i could ever find elsewhere. i like the way you sign off your posts with 'and like i say: brf slt.' i think it’s Neat n it fits you very well. alsooo THANK YOU very very much for being the one to convince me to watch yellowjackets!! people have been telling me to watch it for a long time but in the end it was your posts that made me say, fuck it, and finally watch it. also. um. ur posts abt stephen harrison make me feel very Seen so. thank u. ok bye 💗

@emblazons hello marie my beloved mutual marie!! honestly, out of everything in this post, this message was the hardest to write because i don't even know where to begin with you!! you bring so, so much to this fandom - your thoughtful, entertaining, levelheaded commentary, your stunning gifsets, your logical and witty posts, your incredibly supportive and kind personality, and your endless passion for this show and all that goes into making it, as well as our shared love & enthusiasm for noah schnapp 😅 every time i think you've made the most brilliant observation or put out the most beautiful set, you go and top yourself by finding something new or making an even prettier gifset. if i had to pick one person whose contributions to the fandom enriched my experience of this show? more than anyone, it would be you!! and i could go on and wax poetic about your talent forever (as i have on many, many occasions bc you deserve it 🥰), but i'm gonna end it here by saying that you are a gift to this fandom and one of my absolute favorite people on here, and that i'm beyond grateful to know you.

@mikeandwillel sandy!!!! you are so so smart and your analysis is absolutely incredible. i look forward to each and every one of your analyses because you always find the most clever parallels and your deep dives into each of these characters' arcs are always written with so much care and skill. and of course, i forever have you to thank for writing The ultimate masterpiece (your s4 painting arc analysis) that finally convinced me of byler endgame and thus made my fandom experience so much more relaxing and fun. i also really love & how much you love mike for all that he is -- i feel like it's a little rare in this fandom, so seeing how much you adore his true character and how you Understand him better than anyone else i've ever met makes me really happy. and not to mention, i have no idea how you managed to get so good at gifmaking in such a short amount of time but all your sets are so beautiful!! you're a gem fr 💖

@babygirl-jonathanbyers abbyyyyyy hello!! do you know how much i love seeing you on my dash? i love your pure, unapologetic love for jonathan, jancy, and the byers brothers and it really makes my whole day when i see a post from you appreciating those characters/ships. your moodboards are also So pretty and your presence on my dash is so positive and welcoming. i hope you're doing well on your hiatus rn and i can't wait to see you back on here again 🫂

@elmaxed lumiiiii hi!!!! when i think of you, honestly, the very first word that comes to mind is creative, because you bring so much to this fandom and i'm so grateful for it. i'm obsessed with everything you write because your fics are so lively and fun and make me smile uncontrollably every time i read them, all your headcanons are brilliant and adorable, your moodboards are gorgeous and not to mention, your themes are always so beautiful!! you're just...such a ray of sunshine on my dash and i'm so happy to have followed you 🥰

@mlchaelwheeler sarahhhhh my favorite stonathan pioneer and one of my first mutuals in this fandom!! i think you already know this but your analyses were a huge part of what got me into the byler fandom in the first place and i have never looked back, so thank you for that!! i Love love love ur theories (especially the s5 spec stuff) and i love seeing u in my notifs and reading your lovely and enthusiastic tags on everything you reblog and i love your love for st's OST!! you're a really smart, sweet, and positive person with the best opinions and i am forever rooting for mike to get a sword in s5 just for you 🙏🏼

@bylrndgm dearest elz you have no idea how happy your blog makes me 🥹 you're one of the most talented gifmakers i've ever met, and i always find myself smiling so much whenever i see you've posted something new (especially your byler x TS edits 🥰) because they're always so beautiful!! i've also always felt like your blog and everything you've posted is one of the purest and most expressions of love for mike and will....it's so clear that you love them So much and your blog makes me so happy to be part of this community. you've also always been so sweet to me throughout my entire time in this fandom and you're one of the people that has made me feel most welcome here. also since i never ended up responding to your DM i wanted to say that whatever path you choose, i'm sure that you're going to crush it and i am rooting for your success always 💖

@madcleradin sierra madcleradin byhops finalgirlbyers willcoded!! ok i promise i don't mean this in a weird parasocial way but i kind of admired you from a distance for a while even before we were mutuals just because every single one of your posts that ended up on my dash had me nodding my head and tapping my brain in agreement and clapping for u like this 👏🏼 all of your takes are top tier and i love how passionate you are about everything you talk about!! you're def one of the sweetest, friendliest, and coolest people on byler tumblr and following u has been such a gift ❣

@byclairs hello emily!! your gifs are absolutely stunning and i love following you because i Know i can always count on you to have the most based takes, both on stranger things (especially ur will takes - those keep me sane fr) and on fandom as a whole. also just wanna say that you have the best taste in ships and that you've got a 10/10 banger of a url that always has me mentally giving you a thumbs up whenever i see you on the dash ❤️

@heroesbyler stav!! you're one of the most brilliant analysts on this site and i'm so in awe of all of the incredible theories and analyses you've posted!! i'm obsessed w all of your banger gay mike posts & i'm also both fascinated and disturbed by all of the dots you've connected regarding brenner, henry, & the lab. your posts are so insightful and compelling and you've made me think about so many things that i never would've noticed on first glance. i also love that you're both unflinchingly confident but also insanely kind - a rarity in most fandoms, especially this one, and i love that energy on my dash. i'm very proud to be your grandma (your words not mine -- no i will not let you forget about that 🙏🏼)

@mandycantdecide hiiiii amanda!! i love your blog so much, and even though we don't share all of the same fandoms i love seeing your posts about everything you're interested in because i can always feel your energy and enthusiasm for it no matter what :) in fact, it was actually your posts that made me want to get back into 911, and you have no idea how grateful i am to you for that because being in that fandom is the most fun i've had in a really long time. so thank you, thank you thank you for that, and for generally being so sweet 💕

@howtobecomeadragon ayla!! hello!! i know we don't know each other super well but i Really wanted to let you know how much i appreciate your posts and all of your contributions to this fandom. you were one of my first favorite blogs when i first joined in august and you have no idea how thrilled i was when you followed me back haha 😅 i looooove your theory posts so much and i think your fics are fantastic (and i am Eagerly awaiting the end of come back to me and forgive everything so i can read it). you're also super sweet and kind to everyone around you, and i love seeing you on my dash 💞

@mrperfectlyfinetv hi jake!! as my designated Swiftie Mutual i feel like i should let you know that i don't usually follow taylor swift blogs bc swifties are scary but your gifs are so gorgeous and your takes are so good that i just Had to break my rule and follow you anyway. i really enjoy reading all of your opinions on miss swift even if you are a rep hater asdkjendfcskjflejrf and i adore all of your pretty ST and taylor swift gifsets!! i also love how much you love speak now and you've definitely made me go back and give it a few more listens so that i can appreciate it more & at this point i'm begging taylor to release speak now tv soon just for you 🫶

@magentamee - hi bre :) your art style is absolutely delicious and your writing is so cute and i've always noticed how committed you are to uplifting everyone around you in this fandom. also this is random but your friendship with amanda and @/likegoldintheair is so cute and whenever you guys post about each other i always find myself smiling at how sweet your interactions are. you’re just a person who always brings a smile to my face when i see you on the dash and i want to thank you for that 💗

@paintingformike hi!! i've said this before but i really do think you've always been The strongest soldier in the byler fandom (like, ngl your posts were Carrying byler tumblr for a while there while everyone was still in their debating-over-s5-canon phase). you've always been so levelheaded and astute with your observations, and i've always admired and respected how your posts make it seem so simple and So clear how all of the overarching themes of the show are leading to byler endgame. you've got an incredible way with words and i'm so glad to have you in our fandom 💞

-

and now for the creatives in this fandom - some incredible gifmakers whose beautiful sets have been the highlight of my dash, some wonderful writers who have ripped my heart out over and over again only to stitch it back together seamlessly just one paragraph later, and brilliant fan artists who are able to capture so much and make me feel the entire spectrum of human emotion with just a few brush strokes:

@sharpesjoy - em!! you're an absolute sweetheart and such a joy to see on my dash. all of your gifs are so gorgeous and so clearly infused with all of the love that you have for everything you watch and i've added several shows to my watchlist because your gifs have made me want to watch them so badly 💞

@heroeddiemunson - kai!! your creations are so beautiful and you have this unique gifmaking style that i'm totally obsessed with!! your colorings and typography are always so pretty and i Love how special and creative your sets are, especially the D&D character sheets. like.....i have no idea how u come up w all these incredible ideas but i'm so very glad u do bc my dash is better for it❣️

@kaliprasad - hi!! your blog is amazing and i'm so glad that i found it bc all your gifs are fantastic and i love them So much. i think your talent is insane tbh, that byers brothers set that you made for me a little while ago is still one of my favorite things i've seen on this whole site, and i love that you love them just as much as i do 🫂

@kingofscoops - no one, and i mean no one, does coloring like you!! all of your sets are so vibrant and bring so much life to my dash & i think the ST fandom is very lucky to have you ❤️

@aliecenthightower - emilia!! your gifs are stunning and i'm completely in love with your song lyric edits. they're all absolutely beautiful and i'm in awe of how perfect and emblematic the lyrics you choose are, like you just Get these characters, y'know?

@mayahawkins - MADDYYYYYYY you are So talented, and believe me when i say that your gifs have been the Biggest inspiration for my own gifmaking journey. all your sets are so pretty & i love everything you make - including your playlists which live rent free in my mind!! but as a reminder i also love following your blog for You and not just your gifs :) you're an incredibly sweet person and ur presence on my dash is utterly invaluable 💗

@padme-amidala - hi erika!! okay, calling you a gifmaker almost feels wrong because that word doesn't feel like enough to encompass how beautiful your work is...all ur ideas are So amazing and you have such a natural eye for color and detail!! it is so clear that you pour so much love into all of your creations, and if i'm being honest, one of the reasons why i am so grateful to be a byler shipper is so that i can appreciate your craft to the fullest. and you're also Such a genuinely kind person that i always look forward to seeing on the dash!! thank you for being so lovely!!

@wiseatom - hi thea!! your writing is the ultimate definition of comfort. when i read ur work, no matter what i'm doing physically, mentally i am in my cozy bed with the fireplace crackling in the corner, surrounded by twinkly lights and warm blankets, sipping hot cocoa bc that is the kind of emotion ur writing invokes ✨

@byeler - irene!! your fics were my introduction to the world of byler fics and i admire you and your writing so very much 💞 i don't know how it's possible for one person to have this much skill and talent, but you do, and i'm so grateful that you've chosen to share it with us. eagerly waiting on a new heavy hopes chapter was one of the highlights of my fandom experience and that fic is a piece of writing that i will always come back to over and over again 🫶

@astrobei - suni i have been reading fics for over a decade now and i have still never encountered a writer that does emotion quite like you do, devastating me with every single fic you put out. i promise i mean this in the best way possible but you're So damn good at capturing all of that heartbreak and pain and inflicting the same agony on your readers, and it would have killed me by now if not for the fact that you're equally good at writing the sweetest fluff that has me melting into a puddle whenever i read 🫂

@hopelessromanfic - lyssaaaa!!! i've been Such a huge fan of landslide ever since you started writing it - it's one of my all time favorite fics in the fandom and i'm obsessed with the storyline and your characterization in all of your fics 😍

@artistaquinterob - hi!! your art style is so ADORABLE and your use of color in your work is stunning and i just adore everything you draw, especially your will and el art and your jargyle art 🥹

@junkoandthediamonds - your character studies are beautiful and i'm obsessed with your byler comics, your gifs and your ST x DC crossovers!!! i love your realistic style so So much and if i worked for the duffers i would 1000000% hire you to draw the official comics because i can't get enough of your work 🥰

@livsmessydoodles - fun fact: last year, when HSMTMTS s3 was airing, i remember seeing your rina art throughout the season and immediately fell in love with your style and your interpretation of the characters, and the same exact thing happened when i saw your ST work, and it wasn't until you followed me that i put the pieces together and realized that you were the same person 😅 your style is So gorgeous and your art just makes me so happy, and trust me when i say that i am mentally wallpapering all of your work to the inside of my brain so i can look at it forever❣️

and of course, a very special shoutout to all of the people that i don't know too well but are still such a comfort to have on tumblr: @miwism @yearninginblue @kittykat940 @robinsnance @jesper-faheyss @bylersheart @usergabby @achingly-shy @wheelersboy @wontbyers @stbyers @will80sbyers @watpoetry @frodohaven 💝

+ to all my other mutuals: tumblr wouldn't let me link your profiles because of some ridiculous limit, but please know that i see all of you and i am hugging you through my screen rn. thank you!! 👍🏼

[meraki-yao]

List of thoughts while listening to the RWRB audiobook during my morning walk (1 10 2023)

Chapters 7 to the beginning of Chapter 8 (phone call -> June finding out -> Alex's graduation -> LA -> you are a dark sorcerer)

All my opinions on the narrator from my last post on the audiobook still stands

And it's not just Henry? All British characters sound off mostly because of the accent, but other side characters too like Hunter and Oscar, they sound off, but maybe it's a state-based accent that I don't know of because I'm not American?

For the longest time I didn't understand why Book Alex suddenly went from wanting to be a politician to wanting to go to law school, but somehow listening to the audiobook today, it clicked and I got it: he thinks being a lawyer is a more effective and efficient way to use his strengths and help people

I don't still don't understand the campaign election stuff which, alright fine

Listening to Alex's thoughts on the Texas Binder and thinking "Ha, buddy you're gonna be so jealous of your counterpart" because the movie equivalent of the Texas Binder is the memo, and Movie Alex actually got to execute it

Jeeze I forgot how chaotic and colourful the karaoke night in LA was.

I think I like the intimacy and vulnerability of their proper first time in the movie more, holy shit, the description of them starting from "ready when you are, love" makes me want to sob

Book Firstprince have such raunchy and horny lines lmao I am once again wondering how the fuck would the boys deliver these lines if we get a full-cast audiobook (PLEASE)

That's the thing I couldn't pinpoint in my last post: I can only imagine the boys doing this as an audio drama with legit voice acting instead of an audiobook which is somewhere in the middle of narrating and acting, like, all of the vocal expressions like sighing or laughing are narrated because it's weird to write "hahaha" in a book, but as an audio media just saying it feels incomplete

[chaisshitposts]

What is your stronger side? I am very curius about psychk. I love this rabbit hole!

me rn bc you've induced some major brain vomit from me about this particular subject and I'm about infodump like a mf ^^^

aHHHH ME TOO!!! I'm hyperfixatin' on it 🕵️ I believe my stronger side is my right side, which presumably controls the left hemisphere of my brain aka the more logical side, which is BABIES because I'm a very creative, think outside of the triangle kinda person so I'd think I'm more of a right brainer. but it also kinda makes sense that I'm a lil' stronger in my right side since it's my dominant side and I do like to overanalyze & overthink things in a logical way (I need to change that belief as a matter of fact) 🤔 hoWevEr I have heard that it's important to use both sides of yer body to keep yer brain strong and lessens the chances of gettin' Alzheimer's and dementia (which I'm manifestin' a cure for both bc hell nah that shit is wack)

heads up, im about to ramble.

when I was readin' up on psych-k and the whole brain state, I stumbled across this new idea that's like 'brain gym' and I didn't think much of it until YESTERDAY when I was like... hm, are there other ways to make both sides of the brain work simultaneously while I'm awake??? cause psych-k is workin' for me and all but I'm sure there are other ways to communicate with both sides of my brain simultaneously to make affirmations stick in a much more efficient manner. when ya have both sides of yer brain workin' in harmony while affirmin' ya get like this deeper level of saturatin' yer mind aNd I wanted more of that bc it gives my brain the t i n g l e s. should also be mentioned that workin' yer entire brain is also a form of what can be referred to as 'super learnin' isn't that fuckin' gnarly??? i think it is. lIke could ya imagine that with this information now ya could literally just sit down and study somethin' with the utmost efficiency and whole brain thinkin' just by crossin' your damn ankles???????? wish I knew this shit when I was still in school--- wait nvm I'm still doin' classes.

there's this weird lil' exercise which is BASICALLY psych-k but ya stand up and do actual movements (super weird but also kinda fun for my monkey brain) iTs cALlEd the cross-crawl and there's a whole bunch of benefits for it (imma copy paste them below) this is all from this website I tried it for a few seconds yesterday and it was weird and cringey so I stopped but imma try it out again today for science 🧍

• Build your core strength

• Release stress and tension

• Enhance whole-brain thinking (get your left and right hemispheres to work together)

• Calm your mind

• Energize your body

it's pretty much a lil' funny dance where ya march side to side— its an actual exercise so y'know

ANYWAYS, it should be known that I am an avid method hopper because all methods work for me and I can do anything I want and it still works, sO I was thinkin' of a crazy ass combination of methods that involves psych-k, cross-crawling, and reverse psychology from @/charmedreincarnation which they described in detail in this post

this sounds insane and all over the place, I know, but I can't help it its because of how my brain chemistry works 😭 im like a mad scientist with manifestation methods at this point

BUT BUT BUT BEFORE I FORGET!!! THERES ANOTHER EXERCISE THAT STIMULATES BOTH SIDES OF THE BRAIN AND INVOLVES ONLY YER HANDS. This bad boy right here

also... why did I find another brain synchronization exercise video... I need to slow my road. but here it is anyways

I had no idea Tai Chi was a form of brain synchronization exercise holy shit???? but ig that makes sense since it is a state of meditation

i could have infodumped WAY more but I forgot most of the other things I wanted to say... 🤡 TY FOR ASKIN' THIS QUESTION!!! ask me more questions if ya want me to info dump again, I'll try to keep my thoughts organized

[stayconnecteed]

Holy shit okay- Hi Mars!! I just came to rant because SO MUCH GOOD NEWS was just dropped on me in the span of like, 2 hours I'm unwell

First I have a shit morning and then I open Instagram to Minsung dancing and fondgazing at each other which immediately makes me start crying cause they make me so happy and they looked so happy as we haven't had a Minsung video in FUCKING forever. Then I see the other pairings do the dance and Innie running from Chan and Binni smiling so fondly at Hyunjin and SeungLix being goofs and I needed like a half hour to calm tf down cause I was SOBBING

Then I go on Twitter and immediately get hit with CHANGBIN COLLABING WITH ITZY!!! HE'S FUCKING COLABBING WITH ITZY MARS I'M SCREAMING!!!!

I'm freaking out about ITZY with my Twitter moots and get a message from another moots about Arcane. I go check it out cause I'm BEYOND HYPED for season 2 I've waited 2 years for this AND I SEE STRAY KIDS ON THE LIST OF ARTISTS ON THE TRACK LIST MARS I almost chucked my phone across the kitchen

THEY'RE ON THE TRACK LIST COLLABING WITH YOUNG MIKO AND FEMALE RAPPER AND TOM MORELLO WHO'S PRO PAL!!! I don't know the two other than what I've learned in the last few minutes since the announcement BUT I plan to look them up cause apparently they're really cool!!!

So many good things today I seriously hope you have an amazing day as well and- OH MY GOSH I ALMOST FORGOT THEY'RE DOING ANOTHER INTRO AND OUTRO FOR THE ANIME TOWER OF GOD!!! I absolutely LOVE Slump it's one of my favorite Skz songs ever and I'm honestly so so excited to hear the other songs as well!!! Akfhsudhakhskdvsksvsksndkdn Mars I hope you have an awesome day 🤍🤍🤍 how are things with you?

AAAAA CUBBS!!!!!! you're actually doing god's work because i disabled my instagram & deleted my twitter ( i'm on a socials detox for personal reasons ) and moony was the one sending me the pics the kids posted on ig. BUT I DIDN'T KNOW A THING ABOUT ANY OF THIS!!!!!!

WHAT MINSUNG VIDEO WDYM WE GOT DANCES W THE DORM PAIRINGS?!?!?!?!!? AND CHANGBIN COLLABING WITH ITZY OH MY GOOOOOD THAT'S GOING TO BE FIRE!!!!!!!! AND ARCANE!!!!!! my irl friends are obsessed w that series and we're planning to watch the first season together in halloween because i haven't soooo now i have more reasons akjsdashdkasj

i had an amazing day, cubbs, thank you very much!!!!! i started my first part time job today - teacher for a little girl to help her w her english - and this week i started my second year of college too, so i'm super tired, but i'm feeling content hehe how have you been, my love??

[askthepianist]

Kinda of an update???

(OOC) Hey everypony! It's me ya boy, the mod, today i come here to talk a little about the future of this blog (Not only this one but the others i have, which i will probably RB this in them so everyone knows about this)

So, as everyone who takes a look at this blog for more than 5 seconds might have noticed, this blog has been kinda of really inactive for some time: i said in August that it would come back and all and in the end it didn't, and for that i say I'M REALLY SORRY, like holy shit i really didn't post anything for the entirety of September and i would like to apologize for that

And now, for the actual update: i have quit idv, i haven't been playing for more than a month now and have stopped logging in to get my daily stuff for weeks already, and today, i have finally uninstalled the game. I don't know if i will comeback to it later, but with how things are going, i don't think i will be for some long time, since i really lost any interest i had in the game for the past 3 years, and, even if i love the characters still, i don't know if that will be enough for me to actually come back to it (idk feeling cute might take the characters as my ocs/j)

With that, i want to get to the main point of this post: so, what will happen to this askblog, or the others?...And to that i answer: i really don't know. I really love Angeline and all of the other ocs i made for this game, but since i lost my interest in it, i kinda just want to take them out and make their own universes, but at the same time, i know most people who follow this blog are in here for the idv stuff, so i don't think it is fair to just change the universe completely to tell my own story.

So i think what i'm trying to say is that this blog will become inactive?...With all the rest of my idv blogs as well, since i don't think anyone would be interested in a 100% original universe blog and all

I want to thank everyone who has supported me in this more than a year journey, and i might come here in Angie's birthday to drop a letter and a drawing for her since last year i COMPLETELY FORGOT </3 but yeah!!! Love y'all pookies <3

[korya-elana]

My ADHD is SO BAD today holy shit, I can't remember a day being this bad before and it's DEFINITELY the ADHD and not the DID this time. It took me TWO HOURS to order this grocery thing online so I didn't have to pick it up tomorrow and make an unnecessary trip out since I have to work tomorrow too AND IT STILL ENDED UP BEING PICKUP Addendum: Lmfao I forgot this post was NOT posted for a further half hour, point proven

[tierra-paldeana]

// before i make a mini post about the fruit of my research, i just want to tell y'all i found the area, made a shiny ground sandwich, found 1 shiny toedscool within the first 2 minutes, then a shiny paldean wooper a few minutes before the boost ran out, and THEN, long after it was done, i found another shiny wooper and stunky back to back.

(didn't take a photo of the toedscool cause i forgot)

today my shiny luck was off the charts, holy shit

[eliotlime]

Hello, I first saw your comics on tapastic. I was just today going thru all my subscriptions to cull out the ones that haven't updated in a while and weren't memorable enough for me to remember a single detail of. I found yours and was abruptly reminded of how much I loved your content. I'm a bit too busy now to really immerse myself in what you've got going on anymore, but I'm really glad to see you're still around. I can't honestly say I remember any of the comics you posted bc I was not my best self at the time, but I can say they meant a lot to me. Anyways, the point of this message is to thank you for being a relatable voice when I needed one. I'm really glad to see you're still around and that you've got things that you find enjoyable enough to blog about.

Hey man that's great, I'm glad you remember me! I feel like I can say the same about me making the at the time comics as well, I went through a few years absolutely hating that comic and what it represented because I made it as a way to cope with.. honestly, being a teenager. I really didn't like who I was and that comic was like a great summation of my being at the time.

(read more cause woof i talk alot!)

I'm just skimming through it because I pretty much forgot what I've even made. Like Holy Shit I made 117 comics? I think it holds up okay, it's pretty normal relatable humour though a bit dated. I think i definitely could have been a little weirder with it, though at one point I did try to do something meta with it (chickened out though, it was just way past my skill level). It all just screams of being a teenager, and that level of sincerity would make anyone cringe.

I think it's wild to me how willing i was to share my life to the world like that when I was so riddled with anxiety and sadness. Can't say I'm free of that still but I'm working through it, and I still stand by the last update I posted to that comic. .. Though I'd cut back on how many jokes i'd make to mask my fear this time. I still really love comics, narratives and characters! Though I've not been very good at sharing them lately haha but I promise I'm still chipping away at them. This is probably a very strange time to mention but I set up a Patreon recently, though I haven't gotten around to announcing it formally. But I have a short comic up in there I did for school! Of course if you don't feel like subscribing, I also have it as a one time purchase on gumroad as well :)

One more thing I'd like to say is that the timing of this ask is pretty crazy, cause I was just thinking of doing a retrospective. Just the general reflecting on art school and just looking back on what being nonbinary means to me and I guess YLNB as a whole. Though it's probably too soon to reflect on the latter haha, I'm probably going to wait another 3 more years.

Anyway thank you for reading and sticking around! I hope you're in a better place anon, I know things are rough in the world but I promise that there's good things too! If you'd like to support me I have Kofi and as previously mentioned a fresh new Patreon (wow!) I'm also on youtube where you can find some of my animations and though I've never mentioned it I'm drawing a rabbit (well, lagomorph but its been bunny central lately) a day @dailylagomorphs! We're about the half way point so you can spend half your year looking at all those little guys.

Additionally! my commissions are open! if you want to buy a funny little drawing from me

[the-narrators-ramblings]

Every time I think of this blog, I always go back to the beginning. Not like, mincident beginning, but like, the beginning beginning.

Last year - can you believe that? It's been nearly a year - I stumbled upon some game I'd vaguely heard about in my dad's massive list of Steam codes. And I went, "Sure. I'll give it a shot," and loved every second. I went on to get the demo just because I'd 100 percent-ed the main game, and a friend even bought me Ultra Deluxe.

Not long after, I made my way deep into the tsp tag and ran into a little askblog. It couldn't have had much more than thirty followers. But I liked this blog; the admin was cunning in a way I'd grown to somewhat expect from Stanley, and despite the few posts, there was something so fun and light-hearted about the blog that drew me in even closer.

Out of the blue, then, came a post - jokingly asking for a blog posing as the Narrator to accompany the existing Stanley one. I entertained the thought for the day, but by the next, I was setting up a brand new Tumblr.

The rest? Is history.

I know that in the grand scheme of things, this one askblog is nothing but a droplet of water in the sea that is the universe. But even if Tumblr fades into obscurity, and memories of this place fade alongside it, the impact that was made will not.

I remember, when I made this blog, it all felt so big. Now I realize that I may have just been caught up in the moment, but what a moment it was. So many of you - one hundred and sixty-six (166) as of today, March 10th, 2023, and more just keep coming.

I'm sorry to those that have joined recently, as our curtains are drawing, but I hope you've enjoyed your stay, however short it be. I'm sorry that you came across this blog as its ashes have picked up in the wind, but I am so thankful for each and every one of you, whether you've vowed to never touch a mint sandwich or you have no clue as to what that could mean.

For the individuals I cannot exclude...

ABPA, holy shit, I love you. You're like a childhood best friend, accompanying this blog as it grows and shapes and lays itself down to rest. Watching Dan run through life and cause chaos with Stanley and sing karaoke with their coworkers brought me joy I could've never realized in the moment. Thank you for being there.

WIP, my beloved, my belothed, my arch-nemisis and my muse. What would my galley be without every single little post you've made? What would I be, without them? I still have that ask saved, from when you first gave yourself a name. I still feel bad for never answering, but the relic remains, hung in a frame of gold in a private gallery. Thank you for giving me strength to keep creating.

NYNA, named with no name, the little cat that's gained permanent residency in my dash and my notifs. A voice of reason and safety in a world of uncertainty. Another wing in the taspblog art gallery, small, priceless feel-good doodles up high next to the Mona Lisa of the taskblog (whatever that may be). Thank you for the little things.

432, I'm about to be very blunt, and very honest with you. I didn't like you, at first. But over time, your goofy little personality attached itself to me, like a little parasite growing harmless gumdrops in my garden. You didn't even need a blog to make yourself an essential part of the story. Thank you for being the book without a cover.

For those I couldn't make this post even more of a mouthful for, I still thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, named anons, not-named anons, and those who just liked and reblogged (don't think I forgot about you, Stanley-Central).

And of course, Ivan. Without you, this blog would have never existed in the first place. Without you, this community would have never come together. Without you, who would we be?

Thank you. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being you.

[ughscara]

holy shit yesterday was a shit show anyways hi <3

to be brutally honest with you, i lowkey forgot to proofread the first chapter and post it which resulted in me starting production for the second chapter. why? BECAUSE I THOUGHT I POSTED IT ?? i wish i did but i didn't lmao

but yeah, first chapter is today ( for real ) and second chapter is already in production, i won't be posting any other chapters for a while as i am planning a few "big" things to start on the third of december which include; a simple birthday fic, a prologue chapter for my smau in my alt blog ( that i haven't posted the masterpost for yet ), and lastly two to three chapters for my kabukimono series ~

it's ambitious and a lot, i do admit that. but i plan on ending my year as an 18 year old on a positive note like i always do ^-^

[prince-simon]

I'm so sorry that people keep asking you! I can't imaging what it is like to find time with all the different things you have to combine.

I feel for you. I'm sorry it keeps happening and also... Maybe to those who keep pestering... BACK OFF! You try juggling writing a masterpiece, working (studying a presume??) AND still finding time for yourself!!

ANOTHER ALSO people do realise that it usually takes a PROFESSIONAL writers (who write full time... stressing on the FULL!!!) more than a year to write a book?? And they have basically written a thick ass book so yeah...

Give the legend some time and peace, they will post whenever they want!!!!

P.s. didn't know you where in a band... if you feel comfortable are you willing to share more about that aspect of your life?

thank you so much!! i've received so many sweet messages today i really appreciate you all so much!

and you're so right it does take professional writers such a long time to write books! i keep forgetting that myself as well tbh, and shouldn't put so much pressure on myself.

and yeah i'm totally comfortable to share! band makes it sound way cooler than it probably is haha and orchestra also sounds kinda fancy but i guess it's the closest word to it in german that i can think of. but it's basically a traditional german orchestra? i've been playing the alto sax for- holy shit twenty years now. started bc both my aunt and cousin are playing it as well. my whole family is pretty musically inclined, my grandpa actually helped found the orchestra and build our rehearsal space!

we got a new conductor last year so this will be our first big concert with him, everyone's very excited and nervous!

i'm gonna share some songs that we're gonna play so you can get an idea of what kind of music we're making haha

my fave (the whole orchestra's tbh):

and this is more the music we play throughout the year just to give you an idea haha:

we were also supposed to play bohemian rhapsody which would have been so amazing but unfortunately we kinda forgot to rehearse it so it was cut lol

[samplepsychadelic]

trip report 7/17: 2 A. pantherinoide edibles (2g each) (an extra 1 A. pantherinoide and a 10mg delta-9 edible added later)

I've been waiting for a few weeks to test out these gummies. A. muscaria is nice, but never really brought me beyond feeling high similar to THC. I usually allow myself some edibles, whether amanita or THC, once a week for moderation, though up until today I haven't really felt the need for them. I relaxed a bit listening to music this morning, took a shower, even went as far as to clean the tub and set out things I would need for a bubble bath if I felt like it. took the edibles at around 9:00AM. I have my intentions written down in a notebook and have no plans for today besides this. my upstairs neighbors just left too, so that's an added bonus. I did have a bit of alcohol last night, one drink only though. it was over 12 hours ago so hopefully that's okay. I plan on taking my SSRIs after the trip, as to not interfere with the effects.

9:40 marks the start of the come-up. very very mild distortions that go away when I focus on them. no closed eye visuals that I can make out. it's very hard to put into words, but objects and colors stand out more than usual. it could just be because it's extremely bright outside. all of this is extremely subtle, and I still have a strictly sober headspace.

9:57: looking out the window feels different, like I just moved here yesterday and woke up the first morning being in my apartment. probably because of all the stuff in my room being in the process of being packed up. it's refreshing reguardless. it's a beautiful day outside. I ended up turning off the music since it was too hard to focus on anything else. nothing else has changed.

10:07: my bedroom leads to the rest of the apartment, but for some reason, it looks like it has some sort of portal effect, as if it's supposed to actually go somewhere else and the rest of the apartment is a 2D image. I know I can walk through it just fine and end up in a 3D space, but it still looks weirdly non-euclidean.

10:14: my neighbors are back. hopefully they keep quiet. the last thing I need is them stomping around up there. which is exactly what they're doing. the grass outside is every so slightly rolling like waves. it only lasts a couple seconds.

10:33: back to feeling sober. would be pretty disappointed if that was the entire trip. I got dressed and opened my window to listen to outside (a REALLY good idea, it's perfect outside). while I was getting dressed, springer was watching me. I got a picture of him :] I brightened it so you can see him better

side note: holy shit outside smells so nice. just might have to spend the day outside if the trip flops.

10:48: with it being almost 2 hours since taking the edibles and nothing really happening, I'm going to take 1 more and 10mg of THC for good measure. is this a dumb idea? probably. the dreamsicle-flavored delta-9 masks the gross taste of the A. pantherinoide really well, I hardly tasted it.

11:38: the weed and extra edible has kicked in. the keyboard feels so far away. also having minor auditory hallucinations as well as tactile. the most common tactile hallucination is I feel like my nose is bleeding (it isn't). I see geometric patterns when I close my eyes. time dialation is starting and unless specified, the report will be written from post-trip POV.

I had written a few paragraphs about how I had eventually taken that bubble bath and how it was kind of uncomfortable since my neighbors decided to stomp around and I was too sensitive to the cold. I guess I forgot to save it. in between adding each salt and soap to the tub before running the water, the trips to and from the counter felt like they were in slow motion. they were taking years. I even stopped the water to make sure the tub didn't overflow while I was mixing it. after the mildly uncomfortable bath, I went back to my bed and took a short physical break from my trip to eat a snack. opening my eyes would basically put the whole trip on pause and let me think normally until I closed my eyes again. I decided to put on some music and lay down again and when I closed my eyes, I saw and spent time in some incredible places. I managed to jot a few attempts to draw it down in my notebook. cleaned up the bottom one so it was just a bit more legible.

(in case it wasn't clear: the grey lines represent reflections. this space went on forever. I'll try and make a better picture of it later. maybe)

the first time I opened my eyes since starting the trip, my vision was sent through a star-shaped, bright rainbow tunnel. this only happened once, though. at some point my whole body became wrapped in star matter and galaxies, just leaving a vague human-like silhouette where I should be in that space. I couldn't move freely there, I would have to move my physical body, so I was just frozen in whatever pose I was in. a lot of these places and feelings are hard to describe, most of what I experienced was constantly shifting and changing. at one point I began to see through the POV of an N64 game logo, happy I get to see all these people through the other side of the CRTV. life as a game logo was actually pretty laid back and enjoyable. at some point I was looking at the logo from behind as a small figure, watching the game being played. I was amazed at the sight of it.

I decided to change the music to go to a different setting in my trip. I dug for a song called "we will always love you" by the avalanches, figured it was appropriate. during it(and a few more related songs), I got to visit the realm of seraphim. my seraph self (xelgeroth. long story) and the others sung the songs along me as we danced. it was fun, and I was very happy I got to see them again. all the activity came to a halt when I opened my eyes to change the music again, this was fine, I felt like we spent a long time together and I was happy with it reguardless. however, by the time I closed my eyes again the trip had ended.

overall: a very fun, positive experience. definitely the most ppwerful trip I've ever had. I think part of the reason my results from previous tries with amanitas were unimpressive is I was more or less just doing it just for fun rather than setting a goal and focusing more on the experience than the physical feeling. amanitas don't have psilocybin, so it makes that the trip differs from actual psychadelic trips. I like to think muscimol is to psilocybin as CBD is to weed. I think it works better as an addition to a substance than it does just taking it on its own. this report doesn't do the whole trip justice, and there are parts missing in the description that I had a hard time rememebring or describing. despite that, this trip was much better than I expected it to be :]

[wine-and-madness]

So, with information from this post and this post, both by @windvexer (thank you!!!), I have made my first spell!!

This is a "Firmly But Gently But Slightly Intimidatingly Stay Out Of My Space" spell.

I used planetary positions both to make up for this being a novice spell, and because I saw those posts at a time REALLY convenient for it.

In the ~15 minutes before 3:04AM on Saturday the 24th of August, I wrote my components and my intentions behind them on a paper. I sort of got sucked into the spell, so I forgot to take a picture of the list; this is from memory.

Saturday, Saturn, boundaries and limits; set the boundary of my space, and limit outside interaction to only that which I want

3:04, I forget the planetary hour that it is, but it's ruled by the moon; the moon today is a waxing gibbous moon, the start of a decrease; decrease the energies I don't want, keep this space secret and private and cloaked in calming darkness, and begin these changes that I want, begin the decrease of upsetting influences

The edges of the paper are torn; it is the severing my space from things detrimental to the calmness and privacy of the space

The herb in the container is rosemary; it's one of the herbs that came up for protection, and one I personally like a lot. It's also for warding and cleansing, iirc? So it seemed pretty perfect. I asked for its help with a kiss.

The container is red; it is for confidence, power, a pinch of anger, aggression. It is to power the rosemary. I also happened to have it on hand

String, knotted; for binding the things I mean to keep out, for binding the spell into a unified whole, for binding my intent into the spell, for binding the spell to a more permanent state than the moon's influence might otherwise have. White for undecided intent; I didn't have red string immediately onhand ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And- Ooh, and white reflects all colours!! That works well, I think!!

The directions I tore the page; I ended up rotating it, which ended up being for severing and guarding from all angles. I quite liked having that in the spell. I also was left with one tiny little bit left to rip, which I took to be "even down to the small details, this spell will be effective"

Some things I found interesting:

Things became components as I did the spell, which I didn't expect!

The song stuck in my head, Scarborough Fair, a song about impossible tasks being a prerequisite for love, one of the situations that prompted me to make this spell

Washing the person I'm living with's coffee pot, for washing my hands of them, and sort of appeasing them

The scissors I used for the string!! My favourite moustache scissors, to add some levity to the concoction

The sweater I was wearing, gifted to me by one of the kindest men I know, to replace a sweater I hated the message of but loved the texture of. It's custom, of an album he made which has helped me through so many tough times. He barely knew me at the time, but he did it anyway. That sweater is kindness and love, and a pinch of sorrow, for reasons too long to get into here. (Seriously though go check out Paul Shapera's music if you want something very fresh and rare)

Eating three pickles, made by me, my dad, and his dad; 3 generations, 3 pickles, 3 spell components, 3 AM-- HOLY SHIT and the album has a song about being awake at 3 AM too, I didn't even THINK of that!!!! It's my favourite song from it!!!!! Anyway the pickles are made for love (but the secret ingredient isn't actually love, it's music, shoutout to Simon and Garfunkel), and if anything were to replenish magical energy, it would be family preserves passed down through generations which brings 3 generations together to create something beautiful.

The torn off edges of paper, now representing the things in my life I need distance from. I'll burn them tomorrow

Chocolate. Shoutout to chocolate. Definitely needed the boost

I hung it with the torn edge facing the door; keep all the shit I've divested OUTside, thank you very much!!

Rolling the paper up reminded me of trying to roll up my thermarest after camping, since both it and the paper try to roll on an angle from being folded. I associate the motion with the end of something fun but unsustainable, something that's a relief to end. It's weirdly fitting for my situation

Immediately after the spell I felt dizzy, and smelled a whiff of wine in the air (Dionysus is that you??). I felt giddy, powerful, and depleted (hence the pickles). It was a really nice first experience! (Well. First experience casting a spell. I've done tarot for years and I Feel Vibes pretty well, I think. So I'm not like totally inexperienced, if your first time isn't like this don't worry)

An unintended side effect seems to be that any room it's in becomes Mine, which makes sense since I didn't set the boundaries of the space I meant. Granted, it hasn't been in effect long, and it hasn't really left my side yet, so I haven't felt the boundary between the space it designates as Mine and the space it doesn't. But I feel noticeably calmer and protected. Could be placebo, but even placebo is a Real Effect! We'll see how things go from here 💜

I'm really happy with how this turned out!!!