#holy fuck that was so short and cheesy i want 2 die

[lilacshawn-blog]

Alright

request: can you do an imagine where Shawn and reader are neighbours and like acquaintances? So one day he just had like a really bad day and needed someone to talk to so he climbed over and knocked on your window and it turns into daily midnight talks or something and then after a few weeks or whatever he just kisses her and yeah HAHA love ur writing btw

word count: 1,076

a/n: this was set around post-magcon and post-ep pre-album shawn time if you get my drift since it would we difficult if it was set now i guess idk enjoy tho i hope its not shitty

request here

masterlist

Watching and eating are your two favorite things to do late at night and at around 11 pm. You were watching a movie you already did for a hundred times while your right hand instinctively reaches for a chip in the porcelain bowl on top of your bedside table.

A knock on your bedroom window didn’t bother you at first, thinking it was from the movie. You turn your gaze, once again, towards the screen.

Another knock sent a signal in you brain, playing a series of events that occurred in horror movies. You sat looking straight at your laptop while thinking about all the possibilities that could happen and you were already visualizing your death—all because you chose to stay up and tire yourself to sleep.

You had a debate on your mind whether or not you should slide open your balcony door until you finally chose to stand your lazy ass up and peek.

“Y/N, open up, please,” your neighbor, Shawn, whom you’ve never recently spoke to, except for that one time when your mom asked you to give some chicken pot pie to him, was standing on the other side of the glass door.

You slide open the door, muttering a small ‘come in’ and moving out of his way.

He sits on your desk chair in the corner, choosing to stay quiet while awkwardly closing your laptop and shoving the bowl of chips under the bed.

You clear your throat unnecessarily loud—immediately regretting after—before speaking up and cutting the silence short, “So...what brings you here?”

“I just wanted to talk to you.”

His posture said a lot, to begin with.

“Alright, about what?”

You knew quite a few things about him, like how he’s still posting covers up on the internet despite the fact that he’s gaining popularity and how even a record label already signed him.

Both of you went to the same high school before graduating a couple months ago. You couldn’t help but wonder if he’s planning to go to college.

“I don’t think I can do this,” he tells you.

“Do what?”

“You know, like, the popular thing; and I know it sounds so stupid and it seems like it’s such a good thing but I feel like I’m gonna lose a lot of things,” he replies softly.

“Come here, I can’t hear you well,” you admit, patting the spot beside you.

He takes your offer, proceeding to sit on the edge of your bed, lying down the upper half of his body.

“I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but I’ll lose a lot of things I have now.”

“Lose? Like what?”

“Like you,” he replies. He realizes what he just said and shakes his head vigorously at you. He laughs and corrects himself, “No, I mean, people like you and my family and friends.”

“Yeah, right,” you tease.

“Stop, I’m serious,” he smiles.

“Okay,” you defend yourself.

He looks up at your ceiling, that was filled with glow-in-the-dark plastic stars. You had those since you were younger and for you, at least, it was magical and it was what calmed you.

“I like your ceiling,” he points out.

“Thanks,” you reply. “You know, you’re gonna be a star just like one of them, like, I know, that’s so fucking cheesy but still.”

“You’re such a loser, I shouldn’t have came here,” he laughs.

“It’s true, believe me.”

“You’re just overthinking. You’re gonna be great, after all, you worked for it.”

He turns to face you properly, sitting up and crossing his legs.

Your eyes met his—finally—after all those years of awkwardly looking away in the hallways and slowing yourself down just so that you don’t get to walk with him when walking to school.

“Thanks.”

“Why me, though?”

“Because who do I talk to? You’re the only one in the subdivision who went to school with me,” he replies. “And, because I think you’re really cool.”

“Wow, thanks, pal.”

“Ew, don’t call me that.”

“I promise this is just going to be a one-time thing.”

“Good, ‘cause I don’t want anyone interrupting my movie.”

It wasn’t a one-time thing. One time became two times and two times became five times until it happened every single goddamn day.

You weren’t complaining though. It was fun having a glimpse of his life, as told by him and not the media like it used to, and he told you so much about his dreams and where he wants to be in life. Total batshit crazy topics weren’t out of the conversations too, for sure.

This routine continued but one night truly stood out. It wasn’t odd or anything but it was definitely unexpected. One of the nights wherein he didn’t talk about much of himself and his bizarre life but instead, yours, the spontaneous and going-nowhere one.

“So where do you want to go to college, anyway?”

“Preferably in the US, that’s if I get in or that’s if I’m dreaming, depends.”

“No, that’s being truthful. You’re smart and you know it,” he pushes.

“Well,” you shrug.

“You will, I promise. Believe me.”

“That’s literally what I said before to you.”

“Exactly, practice what you preach.”

You gotta admit, he made sparked a glimmer of hope inside you. You truly meant it when you told him he’d make it and the sincerity in his voice makes you believe as if you will to.

He knew how to make you happy even in the most gruesome and gloomy of times. He knew you as you progressed. He knew your deepest secrets and feelings. He knew you better than you knew yourself.

Your gaze met and locked for a few seconds, before you cleared your throat, like you always do to brush off weird situations.

He noticed this, but proceeded to lean in to press his lips against yours. You felt oblivious to it but you kissed back softly.

His hands tucks a piece of hair behind your ear before pushing you gently onto the bed and deepening the kiss.

He breaks apart, only your irregular breaths heard.

“Pretty sure I’m in love with you,” he whispers, as both of you laid under the same plastic stars.

[asterlark]

ok. samwell college of music au. i wrote all four years let's go babey

eric bittle is this lovely southern tenor (sounds kinda like mitch grassi or ben j pierce) who posts covers (& sometimes originals, but always with neutral or no pronouns because he can't post anything that says he or him ☹) on his youtube channel and has major stage fright but is very talented; he also plays ukulele

he got into samwell college of music on a voice scholarship and his dad doesn’t exactly approve but eric was never the 6′2″ masculine football player he wanted anyway so why not go for his dreams

he auditions for the very competitive samwell men’s contemporary chorus (there’s like 20 choirs; chamber choir, jazz choir, a cappella groups (lax bros do a cappella), combined choirs, etc- smcc does contemporary pop/rock music) and while he’s very very nervous and shaky as he auditions, directors hall & murray see a lot of potential in him (with major grumbling from student director jack)

(the rest of this ridiculously long au under the cut)

the group is small, for a chorus, because the point of the group is not a wall of sound but a focus on all of the very talented guys’ voices coming together in these gorgeous harmonies and basically they’re like one of the best choruses on campus and all the male singers want in

so there’s jack zimmermann, who of course eric knows because everyone knows who he is, he’s the son of bob and alicia zimmermann, both incredibly talented and famous musicians, and basically those genes were in his favor because he’s mega fucking talented

(jack was supposed to sign a recording contract to be in a band with his best friend kent parson when he was 17 but something happened between them and the pressure was too much and jack overdosed on something- there’s so many rumors no one knows what’s real- and kent signed solo in LA & went on to win grammys for his albums about a mysterious ex and jack disappeared for a few years to be a counselor at a music camp and reappears at samwell, knocking everyone’s socks off again like he’d never left, except with a renewed vigor and intenseness that freaks everyone out)

jack is a contemporary writing & production major, freaky talented and sings like a modern day frank sinatra, and he plays like 20 instruments and can read music like breathing air and writes songs like if he stopped he’d die; his music is folksy and mournful and he plays all the instruments on his tracks himself- guitar, piano, strings, drums- it sounds like a full band but nope. just jack. he’s intense

“we all get nicknames in this choir,” justin informs eric on his first day, “we’re those kinda guys.” so he’s bitty, which he finds vaguely offensive (bc he’s not that short!) but still cute, & the rest of the group is introduced to him:

“shitty” knight (voice like colyer) is a musical education major and an enigma of a singer with this awesome, earthy, raspy voice that’s really interesting to listen to and a very.... unique style & look; he writes cheesy but shockingly good raps about social justice topics and he will sing-lecture you if you’ve said something offensive (he also plays banjo)

justin “ransom” oluransi is a music business & management major with an angelic voice you can’t help but listen to; he’s sultry and has an incredible range and does runs like nobody’s business (with a voice like daniel caesar or leslie odom jr UGH)

adam “holster” birkholtz is a voice performance major, wants to be on broadway and it’s all he ever goddamn talks about basically, he’s a belter and has a lot of charisma and starpower and he’ll charm the pants off of you within one note; can also play piano and irritates everyone constantly because his regular volume is like a level 11 (voice like the frontman of my brothers and i combined w/ x ambassadors lead singer)

larissa “lardo” duan is at the local art institute because performing arts is not her jam and she’d much rather paint; she’s a barista at annie’s and supervises open mic nights and keeps the annoying choir dudes from driving away all her patrons

“i’m not even in your dumbass choir,” she says when the group gave her her nickname. holster just told her that she was an honorary member and then started sing-shouting a song at her about how good she is

bitty’s first year is hard because he’s talented and he works hard but he shies away when anyone asks him to sing outside the group and like, he can sing to a camera by himself but being on a stage with everyone looking at you and the sole responsibility of the song on your shoulders is terrifying and no thanks

jack does not. understand this. he’s been performing practically since he came out of the womb and he doesn’t really get performance nerves (what he gets is anxiety about how he did after he gets off stage that follows him home and makes it so he can’t sleep) - so he bothers bitty about it constantly like “you just need practice, you just have to sing by yourself a lot and then you’ll get over it” which like.... that’s true but it’s also hella scary and bitty’s like “no thanks!!!!”

but jack’s annoying and intense so he makes bitty do open mic with him every saturday night and it’s going okay and bitty loves his choir and loves his school and these new friends he’s making and he finally feels comfortable enough to come out to them during his second term

then during their spring choral showcase at the end of his freshman year bitty has a solo and he’s worked really hard on it and he’s feeling good- okay he’s completely freaked out but he’s trying to feel good- but when he gets up on stage there’s so many people and the stage lights are so hot on his face and he flips out a little and maybe he passes out from anxiety and stress right on stage and it’s terrible and he’s so embarrassed and ashamed that he ruined their set at the showcase

of course jack blames himself because “we shouldn’t have given you a solo before you were ready, i misjudged it, i’m sorry” - and they all feel kinda bad bc holy fuck they didn’t know his stage fright was that bad like they didn’t know someone could pass out just by being anxious to sing

he practices all the time over the summer and goes to his local open mic at jack’s insistence and it actually helps a lot because instead of a sea of strangers judging him it’s a bunch of people he knows and they’re all smiling at him and when he finishes his song they cheer for him and it boosts his self-confidence a lot

his sophomore year they have three new members- chris ”chowder” chow (voice like ieuan), an excitable music education major with impressive rapping skills, derek "nursey" nurse (frank ocean or leon bridges type), a songwriting major who can also play violin and guitar, and will ”dex” poindexter (like tom west), a production & engineering major who tried out with chowder bc he needed moral support and didn't expect to get in but impressed the directors with his voice

the year’s going pretty good, bitty’s still pretty scared of singing alone but more confident now and the open mic nights with jack haven’t stopped, so he’s getting better. and one night they’re hanging out at annie’s after closing waiting for lardo to be done so they can walk her home, and bitty suggests that jack sing with him one of these nights, and jack says he doesn’t know any of bitty’s songs and bitty says they can write one together half jokingly but then jack is like “yes.” with that Intense Look

SO they get together a couple days later in jack’s room at the house they all live in together (bitty moved in at the beginning of the year after previous smcc member john johnson called him- how’d he get his number?- and told him he could take his room if he wanted), jack with his guitar and bitty with his ukulele, and it’s a little awkward until bitty says jack should play him one of his songs

and, okay, he doesn’t really know what to expect because the only music jack ever released to the public was that one single he did with kent parson when they were 17 so bitty doesn’t even know if he has anything to play him, but he does- he starts playing these soft, sad notes on the guitar and opens his mouth and sings about being lonely and scared and unsure, about false starts and shaky ground and not knowing where you stand with someone, about expectations and lying awake at night and wishing so hard you were someone else, and bitty watches him sing and just kind of... realizes he’s head over heels for this boy and internally Freaks Out a little

he tries to put that aside and they start to write this song, at first it’s weird because jack’s like “all your songs are love songs i can’t really relate to happy love songs” and bitty’s like “listen... i’ve never even had a boyfriend i just write a bunch of sappy love stuff because it’s not about me it’s about whoever’s listening to it, they’re gonna project their own experiences on my music anyway so it doesn’t matter if it’s my real life or not” and jack’s like “alright while fake af that’s smart and i respect you” (what bitty doesn't say is that he writes about what he really wants which is to fall in love & be in a happy relationship)

they say they’re just gonna write this kinda vague sad song but they both secretly write lines about their actual lives so it ends up being really personal and real and raw for the both of them

they sing the song at open mic that saturday and the crowd at annie’s is never that big but they’ve never got a standing ovation here before, and some girl shouts “MAKE AN ALBUM” (it may or may not be lardo) and they both blush furiously and bitty’s like “... that was really nice, jack” and jack’s like “... yeah it was good good job you’re really getting some confidence out there nice work” (bitty: “THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT AAAAH”)

around this time jack’s really thinking about what he’s gonna do when he’s done at samwell, talking with his parents and his agent and looking into different record companies and deciding if he wants to sign with anyone or possibly start his own company- the head of a small company called falcon records in rhode island has been talking to him a lot, and jack talks to bitty about how he thinks it’d be nice to start small, and the record exec georgia and the producer marty had both been really nice and welcoming, and bitty’s so happy for him but also just... sad that he won’t be around jack every day after he graduates

THEN at a haus party celebrating their win of a local choral competition, who shows up but none other than pop star kent parson to Ruin The Fun

bitty sees the way jack pales when kent walks in, notices them disappear upstairs together and feels a little sick worrying about jack but chalks it up to the highly alcoholic concoction shitty and lardo had cooked up but nonetheless decides he’s sick of the party and goes up to his room and hears.... a little too much

and YIKES he’s standing right there and kent parson, pop star, two-time grammy winner, is looking a little rumpled and staring right at him and he puts his hat on and clears his throat and snaps at jack- “hey. well. call me if you reconsider. but good luck with rhode island. ...i’m sure that’ll make your parents proud.” and jack’s shaking, and bitty doesn’t know what to do but jack goes back into his room and bitty’s just kind of standing there like What The Fuck

so.... he kind of stews over winter break but tries not to think about it too much and he and jack text a bit and jack tells him to practice and bitty’s like “oh, you” and jack’s like “im serious” and bitty’s like “>:( it’s christmas”

spring semester starts and they're doing well in competitions and they go to semifinals and then finals for a prestigious collegiate choir competition and the pressure is mounting but they all are so optimistic and really feel like they're on the same page and bitty’s confidence is better than ever and then.... they don't win

jack especially takes it very hard, but then he also has signing to worry about, which everyone helps him with and he decides to sign with falcon records and start work on an album after graduation

speaking of graduation, shitty and jack graduate and it's hard for them but harder for bitty who feels like he's losing jack in a way, he knows how intense jack gets when he's making music and it doesn't feel like he'll have any time for bitty anymore so when they say goodbye bitty goes back to the haus and listens to his and jack's song and just cries

but, like in canon, dadbob has words of wisdom to impart and jack has an "oh" moment and races across campus to kiss bitty

they get together and the next few months are spent with jack working nonstop on his album (which tbh, he'd had many of the songs written already so it's mostly recording and producing) and texting bitty constantly and coming to visit him and playing him demos of all the songs

jack also asks bitty if they can record the song they wrote together & have it as a bonus track on his album & bitty says of course, so when jack visits they set up an impromptu studio and record vocals in the guest bedroom and this deeply personal song they wrote before they were ever together means so much more to them now

and bitty is so happy but so scared and sad too because jack is playing him these songs telling him "they're all for you bits, & a lot of them are about you" and he just doesn't know how he's going to keep all this love inside even though it feels like jack's career is at stake

he tries to shove it down and stay strong though, especially since he's now an upperclassman and they're taking on new members- connor "whiskey" whisk (voice like finneas or the male singer in valley), a music business/ management major who seems to hate bitty's guts and tony "tango" tangredi (like chaz cardigan), a jazz composition major who astounds everybody with his endless questions but also his ridiculously impressive composition skills & naturally perfect pitch (he can also play saxophone??)

i want ford in this au so fuck it she is a composition major with dreams to write scores for musicals and she stars training as a barista at annie's (aka training to corral the smcc)

the pressure of it all proves to be a lot and bitty and jack have their hi, honey moment where bitty's like i can't be this deep in the closet!!! and so they tell the smcc and also jack's label that they're together and that eases things a bit

jack's album comes out to much critical acclaim and shouting in the groupchat ("#1 ON ITUNES BRAHHHHH!!!!!!!!") and several months later, when smcc has already been eliminated from choral competition in an earlier round, jack is nominated for SEVERAL grammys including best album, song of the year, and best new artist

when the time comes he takes his parents and bitty on the red carpet which, everyone keeps being like "who are you here with jack?" and he's like "my family and my good friend :)" and yes it is awkward

jack wins... all three awards. it's the comeback everyone is stoked to see and when his third win is announced, he and bitty are so elated that they kiss before he goes to accept the award

his speech is basically just "um... wow. thank you. i just kissed my boyfriend on live tv. this is amazing and i'm so humbled. i'd like to thank my boyfriend and georgia and marty and my parents and my friends and my boyfriend"

obviously the press has a FIELD DAY with this but bitty & jack are honestly vibing and so happy that it doesn't matter untiiiillll bitty's mom calls and he has to tell her "mama i'm gay and i'm going on tour with jack this summer okloveyoubye"

the last few months of bitty's junior year pass quickly and he's voted student director which is a huge honor considering how much he struggled with stage fright and confidence & how he'll now be stepping into ransom & holster's shoes

r&h and lardo all graduate (the smcc basically crashes the art school graduation and all scream when lardo gets her diploma lmao), which is a bittersweet occasion and they all do a bit of tearing up

that summer bitty goes on tour across the u.s. & canada with jack and his touring band (snowy is a bassist, tater is a drummer and poots does backing guitar, he also brings nursey to play violin on a few songs) as well as georgia who's there to manage logistics

and tour is so fun & chaotic with many bi and rainbow flags in the audience that end up thrown on stage and draped around jack's neck and they spend so many nights in the bus drinking and laughing and fooling around on the guitars and bitty's uke and exploring new cities bitty has never been to before and it's the freest bitty has felt in a long time

summer ends though, and jack leaves for the uk/europe leg of the tour, and with the new school year brings a few new members- river "bully" bullard (voice like gregory alan isakov), a music therapy major who draws his own cover art for his songs, lukas "louis" landmann (like jr jr), an electronic production and design major with a penchant for EDM, and johnathan "hops" hopper (like keiynan lonsdale), a film scoring major who wants to write music for movies and video games

bitty meets and befriends some of the other student directors- shruti, sd of the women’s contemporary chorus; sharon, sd of the chamber choir; and edgar, sd of jazz ensemble (even chad l., sd of the all-male a cappella group)

senior year passes similarly to the comic; coach visits and sees one of bitty’s competitions, jack comes to madison for christmas, smcc does well in competition and goes to regionals etc

however… bitty keeps putting off and putting off gathering the songs for his senior recital

he has a hard time doing that because he’s so focused on the group and making sure they’re performing well and as they advance in competition, everything else starts to fall away

eventually the rest of the smcc has to lock away his uke and change his youtube password and FORCE him to choose songs for it and start preparing because he cannot graduate without doing this recital and doing well on it

he chooses (of course) a beyonce song, a few of his own songs, an ellie goulding song, and an adele song

with all that his breath hitches and his hands shake before he goes on stage, he does really well and his voice instructor prof atley tears up a little in the audience as does his mom

meanwhile smcc goes to semifinals, then finals, of the national collegiate choral competition they participate in

and i imagine bitty faces somewhat less homophobia in this au because i mean, he’s in the performing arts, but i think it’s still there and he also faces a good amount of classism from richer students and performers who think they’re better because they had the resources and money to be performing professionally from a very young age, and he has been practicing via filming himself on a shitty camcorder and posting it to youtube

but they still get there! and the national finals are fucking HUGE and a big deal and a little overwhelming

bitty’s stage fright is Present because this is the biggest stage and the biggest stakes he's ever had and he has a big solo in one of their songs so if he fucks up, he fucks up a national championship for his whole group and school

luckily though, when he steps on the stage with his best friends and sees his boyfriend and family and smcc alums in the audience and they perform their first song, a high-energy pop medley that always gets the crowd going, everything seems to melt away and it's just him living in this moment and singing his heart out

when it gets to the next song and his solo, he forgets to be nervous and belts it out, getting screams of approval from the audience when he finishes

(dex and nursey do have a duet together that they had to practice for many long nights in the practice rooms alone but that's neither here nor there)

their time on stage seems to last both hours and no time at all and then they're done, the crowd gives them a standing ovation and it's at least 30% r&h & shitty's hooting and hollering and jack's enthusiastic clapping that makes bitty & the others beam with pride

then it's just waiting, giddy and nervous beyond belief in their green room, for the judging to be over

after what feels like forever they're back on stage, arms linked together waiting and hoping for their name to be called and it is, they win and it feels like years have built up to this moment, and bitty tears up because years ago when he was fainting from anxiety at having to perform in front of people he never could've imagined that he'd do this, that he'd be the student director that led them to a championship

they get the trophy and a ridiculous amount of flowers from their loved ones and they all are just in giddy disbelief that this is happening, they're national champs!!! they are the best choir boys in the nation!!

they come home and the rest of the school year passes by so quickly that it's very suddenly graduation and bitty can't believe his college career at samwell is over 😢

(he and ollie and wicky take pictures together, o&w talk about how excited they are to devote full time attention to their band & wedding planning and bitty's just like wait you're gay??)

bitty got plenty of offers from record companies but he likes his freedom of creativity and he has a built in fanbase from doing youtube all these years so he decides to make an album independently (jack helps him produce & master it 🥰)

when bitty's album comes out about a year later, full of bops about being gay and in love and having struggled but come out the other side more confident than ever, it doesn't get any grammy nominations- and he didn't expect or need that.

what it does do is it resonates. it makes the rounds in youtube and queer internet circles; people his age reach out to him saying this is the music they wish they had as a kid and kids reach out to him saying he's a role model and they're so glad to have his music to listen to. his album is written about as an underrated gem that shines with queer brilliance and is sure to start a party when it comes on.

his parents may not fully understand the road he's chosen for himself but they're still so proud and promote the album as hard as any of his loyal fans (especially the one country-inspired song on the album that he wrote and dedicated to them).

and jack, jack who saw this album from its infancy to its release date, who took the film photo that ended up being the album cover, who worked with bitty to make sure his vision was realized exactly how he wanted it to be, is proud beyond words.

jack starts using his semi-abandoned twitter again to tweet "stream [album name]" every day and bitty retweets them sometimes, with just a "this boy. ❤"

and they're happy. they're good. they have come so far and they are reaping the rewards of all the hard work they put in to make the music that they truly love.

the end :)

[swinterr]

fic rec vi ♡

hi!

this is a another new set of fic rec and i’ll probably do a compilation of genre (?) just like the first ones.

made some changes like tidying up a bit and adding summary, for those that doesn’t have any summary i’ll try my best to add my own summary (it will probably be shit tho, i ain’t making a smut summary guys, i’m not confident in my describing a fic ability but i’ll try my best. if its in italic it means i made the summary hehez )  if the summary is shit, i made it okay.

read and support the fic and authors here: the fic rec ♡

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

nct 

jeno

no title by @tyongf-nct | s

- smut blurb.

body guards and boyfriend by @pastelsicheng | f

-  sometimes the only way you can really get some alone time with your boyfriend is by making his job hard.

lipstick smears by @kopikokun | f

-  jeno never thought trying to get his makeup artist’s attention would be this hard.

jaehyun

[10:30] by @moonttaeil | 

- a lockdown moment.

[2:40] by @nct-jungjaehyun | f a

- cute quality fluff time with bf!jae with a dash of angst.

[11:41] by @jeongvision | f 

- family time with apples.

just like magic by @starryhyuck | f s

-  jung jaehyun’s body count is almost as high as yours. however, after yuta spreads a nasty rumor, you learn that jaehyun’s always imagined those girls to be you instead.

love to hate me by @moonctzeny | s a 

-  you and jaehyun meet as sm trainees, developing a friendship until he debuts and you decided to leave the company and pursue a solo career. when you reunite again in a music show and he acts like he barely knows you, you stubbornly begin a series of hate-brimmed sex rendez-vous. your touch-and-go relationship continues on, until a song collaboration will force you both to deal with all your repressed feelings for each other.

moving on by @ddeonghwaa | f a

- reader has been chasing jae for some time but when she moved on jae suddenly enter the picture.

sun&moon by @ppangjae | f a

-  asking jeong jaehyun to accompany you to your family’s 1-week christmas vacation as your boyfriend has its consequences. one can surely get through 1 week of pretending to be in love with an enemy, right?

snack run with a snack by @kopikokun | f 

-  on your usual movie night with the members, they assign you sudden snack collecting duty. you’re a little peeved, but at least jaehyun offers to tag along. Unfortunately for you, things really aren’t going in your favour tonight.

lover boy by @neoct-zen | f s

- bunch fics of lover boy jae and reader.

jungwoo

one more time, please by @haequarius | f s

-  you don’t know what you and Jungwoo are, but you are certainly weak for him.

jealous by @whiplashsan | s 

-  jungwoo is all smiles and sunshine until he gets jealous, and he just so happens to get jealous over the smallest things when it comes to you.

doyoung

sugar, spice and everything not nice by @alreadyblondenow | s

-  doyoung getting your ring size wrong, unprotected sex, kitchen sex, slight fingering, wedding tragedies.

no title by @ncteaxhoe | s

- dom!doyoung, rough? i need holy water.

the little one by @ethaeriyeol | f 

-  a gift of life; female reader x husband!Doyoung; fluff, light angst, married au

lucas

exquisite taste by @weishenkonbini | s f

- smut but with a fluffy ending.

for you always by @labyrinthsofyou | f

-  in which you surprise yukhei when he forgets about your date.

6:19 by @cozykpopblurbs | f

- a cute fluff ft kun and winwin.

10:18 pm by @nctsoftarchives | f

- reader supports lucas at his superm debut stage. 

16:47 by @sichengssmile | f s 

- a fluffy smut. lucas a big boi.

missed you by @tokyobts | a f

-  after you and yukhei broke up, yukhei still has feelings for you. he reaches out to you at school and tries to get you back. at first you avoid him but later his actions manage to make your heart flutter. you’ve come to a sudden conclusion that you maybe still want him in your life.

johnny

34 + 35 by @domjaehyun | s 

- you and your husband johnny decide to take your marriage to the next step.

i couldn’t wait a little longer by @alreadyblondenow | s f a

-  you two were never together longer than two days, but the feelings, oh the feelings that you have for each other is clear as the day. it was a never-ending try of making the relationship official. johnny tried, you tried but it never happens.

what happens in korea, not stays in korea by @alreadyblondenow | f s 

-  a week vacation in korea for your sister’s wedding became even more exciting when a famous dj had a crush on you. johnny was sure that it’s love at first sight. not putting both of your careers on the line, you two had no regrets when the time comes and you finally leave.

laundry day by @immabiteyou | s

- a domestic fluffy smut.

make a wish by @sluttyten | s f a

-  you’re jungwoo’s sister, and he’s made it clear he wants you and Johnny to have nothing to do with each other. so you and johnny start fake dating to piss him off.

want it all by @sluttyten | f s 

-  you are entirely innocent to the point of being naive. johnny is not innocent, but he loves that you are because it means he can teach you everything you don’t know.

sungchan

wish i was her by @softsungchan | f a 

-  you wished you were her, laying in Sungchan’s arms and feeling his warm breath on your neck, giggling about sweet nothings whispered into the starry night. You wished for it to be you, the girl he liked.

2:21 am by @the32ndbeat | f 

- sungchan being whipped, thru a text message.

haechan

14:52 by @ukiyoexo | f

- a cute haechan and reader ft the reader’s baby sister moment.

prince’s order by @nsheetee | f

-  prince haechan nurses you after you faint, and orders you to stay with him until you feel better.

sweet treat by @markresonates | s

-  haechan takes you for ice cream but all you can think about is sex with him.  when you act like a brat, eventually you end up in the bathroom. with no panties. 

clingy by @love-mi | f 

-  I’m not clingy! I just love your company and constantly want to be around you and have your full attention at all times

mark

hyuck is always right by @luvrenjun00 | f 

- ceo!mark x reader ft baby donghyuck. a tooth-rotting fluff.

taeyong

snow storm by @whereisten | f s 

- a fluffy smut whilst a snow storm.

1:59 by @smoll-tangerine | f

- reader and taeyong ft my favorite game (where i always die first) among us!

bts

taehyung

is this allowed 1 2 by @seokiie  | f s

- how were you supposed to know bts would be filming at your coffee shop today? how were you supposed to know a certain curly-haired boy would take a liking  to you?

cabin pressure | f by @jiminrings | f 

-  pilot!y/n who accidentally became famous bc of a viral post about her, best friend!jimin!, taehyung having a shy lil crush on you aND ot7 being meanies for a tad bit :((

art major!tae and biochem major!yn | f by @jiminrings | f

-  tae’s cold and probably needs a friend more than he needs a model, y/n feels this nEED to take care of him, a term of enderment then a dash of emotional constipation and a sprinkle of jealousy :D

gank mid lane by @kimtaehyunq | f s 

- gank / verb: (in a video game) use underhand means to defeat or kill (a less experienced opponent)

birthday surprise by @ephemeralkookie |

-  like every year, you prepare a little surprise for your boyfriend’s birthday, one that you’ve been preparing for days. and after a very tiring day, taehyung only wants to spend the night in your loving arms.

jungkook

cookies & cream | s by @1kook | f s 

-  jungkook will watch a thousand cheesy christmas movies if it meant making you happy. (and maybe having his dick sucked.)

unholy night | s by @ephemeralkookie | f s

-  after a christmas day passed with the Jeon’s family, Jungkook decides to transform the holy night into an unholy one.

‘a short’ abstinence | s a by @seokiie | s a

-  maybe blue-balling you boyfriend (who has an insanely high sexual drive) wasn’t the best.

in which she’s done with him by @minstrivia | a

-  jungkook angst/fluff where he always pushes oc away (who confesses her feelings but was cruelly rejected) and insults her but she always comes back to take care of him when he’s drunk or picks him up from his one night stands and she finally decides to leave him alone.

bad influence by @noteguk | s 

-  in which you know jungkook is a bad influence on you, but you can’t avoid falling for him every time.

jock!jk and shy art major!yn by @jiminrings | f

-  established relationship ft. jock!jk and shy art major!y/n, y/n gets an unexpected pep talk and jungkook doubts himself, and either so much tears or so much dUST according to kook

special affair by @1oserjk | f

-  sugar daddy au except it’s just jk spoiling u thru animal crossing

fairy of shampoo by @ironicarmy | f s

-  sundays are for relaxation, house cleaning, and happiness.

abstract ft bob ross by @mimithings97 | f

-  paintbrush in one hand, joint in the other and you sitting on his dick is what jeongguk wants. and what jeongguk wants, jeongguk gets.

badboy!jungkook by @jungshookz | f 

- badboy!jungkook falls for good girl reader ft the boys and the reader’s apple. 

growing by @lesgetittkookie | f

- dad!jungkook teacher his daughter how to walk. super super cute family/domestic fluff.

quiet, baby by @bratkook | s 

- i don’t how to write a summary on smuts so imma just put this. reader and jungkook doing something in the subway.

still want that by @whatifyoulivelikethat | s

-  fucking min yoongi ex-girlfriend? a terrible idea. being hopelessly in love with her at the same time? an even worse idea. knowing he was being used and still doing it anyway? ah, Jeon Jungkook, what are you doing? part 2 of savage love.

desiderium by @jeonggukingdom | f s 

-  “we’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still so horny?”. a newlyweds!au smut.

chapstick by @softyoongiionly | f s

- based on the time Jungkook said he needed someone to scold him so he’d remember to put lip balm on. or jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you. 

lover boy by @jingukk | f 

-  jungkook likes you. a lot.

unexpected confession by @sunkissedjk | f

-  you gathered up the courage to confess your feelings, but it seems everyone in school knows about it before you could even find him.

string attached by @ephemeralkookie | s

-  jungkook is what we can call your sexfriend. No strings attached, just you and him having fun and releasing the huge pressure and stress of being idols. But after spending an entire day together, you realize that maybe he’s not just your sexfriend.

no title by @himbojk | f s 

- dilf jk.

astro

eunwoo

ceo!eunwoo by @m0onbean

no title by @yutopiada | f

- a cute idol!reader and eunwoo moment at a music show.

disney by @bangchan-sonyeondan | f

- a cute date with eunwoo at disney. reader likes vintage things hence using a disposable camera.

baby, it’s cold outside by @fresh-outta-jams | f 

- a cute cold christmas fluff with eunwoo ft. the boys. reader went to the boys’ place for a sweater and cocoa gift exchange.

got7

yugyeom

cruel brothers by @imsarabum | f

-  jackson and jaebum have always acted as if they were your big, overprotective brothers. so when they both walk in on you and yugyeom in a very intimate position, things get a little tense!

txt

soobin

a special night by @gyuluster | f

-  an intimate insight on the first night of choi soobin’s wedding, consisting of kitchen floors, witches and an eternity of love.

boughs & branches by @jeogiyall | f 

-  decorating the tree with boyfriend! choi soobin from txt! fluffity fluff fluff with a lot of cute fluff thrown in and a dash of christmastime fluff. 

sleepy binnie by @immabiteyou | s

-  “i’ll let you do anything if you just touch me now. “ a sleepy soobin smut.

cake by @immabiteyou | s

- reading waiting for mc soobin with the guys. a cute fluffy smut moment.

kpop oc/s

seri by @ggukkiedae

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

support the fic and the writers!

[karlnapity]

Deviltown is Colder in the Summertime

Chapter 2: I'll Lose My Mind At Least Another Thousand Times

(tws: manipulation, alcohol/drug abuse, panic attack)

It takes a few months for the cracks to solidify. The final moment starts when he walks in on Wilbur reading. Wilbur’s head snaps up as the train car’s door shuts, and he’s quick to close the book, put it in his coat’s pocket.

Tommy inclines his head. “What’re you reading?”

Wilbur waves him off. “Classics, you know the like. Ovid.”

It’s a blatant lie, but Tommy lets it slide. He sits beside Wilbur on a seat, hands him an apple from his pocket.

They don’t have to eat in the afterlife, but food’s there when they want it, and it’s comforting all the same.

“So you think this is, like, fucking limbo, or purgatory, or what?” He asks, taking a bite of his own.

Wilbur fixes him with an interesting look, but he answers all the same. “Something like that. My theory’s that this is the way to the solid afterlife, but that until we ‘let go-’” he makes air quotes- “we’ll be stuck here.”

Tommy nods. It doesn’t make much sense to him, but whatever makes his brother happy. He pulls his feet up on the seat, trying to get more comfortable. “Do you wanna go back?”

Wilbur grins. “Of course I do.”

“But you said-” He frowns, but Wilbur holds up a hand.

“Tommy, did you really think I wanted to stay dead? Did you really think I wanted to sit in a musty train with fucking Schlatt and MD? You thought I wanted to stay here forever?” His voice pitches up in a way that makes Schlatt’s words ring in Tommy’s ears.

Before he knows what he’s doing he leans back in the seat, pushed up against the window. His breathing quickens, and in the blink of an eye Wilbur is tugging him close, holding him to his chest. His hand cradles the back of Tommy’s head, tucking him halfway in his jacket.

“Don’t be scared, “ he murmurs, and Tommy wishes it were that easy. The cigarette smell isn’t half as nostalgic as it used to be.

He struggles, lashing out, but Wilbur holds him close. He always did that, when Tommy panicked, and it used to be comforting before. It’s not anymore.

Eventually, he relaxes. Wilbur doesn’t let him go, not for a long time, but eventually he lets him pull away, stretches and stands to peer out the window.

He sneers and gets out as quickly as he can.

(He realizes, as he’s putting as much distance as he can between the two of them, that he forgot to pull the book from Wilbur’s pocket, but he can’t risk going back.)

“Hey, Tommy!” He tenses immediately, but grins when he realizes.

“MD,” he greets. The man comes to walk beside him, keeping pace, and slaps him on the back.

His mask’s just different enough not to make him too anxious.

“I haven’t seen you around much,” he says. The other shrugs.

“I’ve been doin’ my own thing,” he says. “Where’re you heading? Why’re you hurrying?”

Tommy sighs, shakes his head. “I’m just wandering. Needed to get away from Wilbur.”

MD hums. “I don’t know him well. But people who’ve got that look in their eye… it’s bad news, man.”

He nods, just barely. Purses his lips. “I’m starting to think that too.” An idea pops into his head.

“Hey, do you know if there’s a Prime bell anywhere around here?”

MD tilts his head. “I dunno anything about that. Ask Schlatt?”

His lip curls at the idea of talking to the man again, but he shrugs all the same. “Fine. You know where he is?”

MD points towards the door, waves him that way. “I can lead you!”

Tommy watches him as they walk. He’s so… different than Dream, despite the name. He doesn’t know whether they’re at all connected, though considering Dream killed the guy he doesn’t dare ask.

He doesn’t seem to have changed much since death, which Tommy appreciates more than he can say. It’s nice to have someone he actually fucking likes around.

He feels guilty, saying that, because he’s not sure, yet, what Wilbur’s up to.

He’s scared. Schlatt’s planted hints in his brain, and despite everything Tommy can’t help but see where they lead. He wants to ignore it, but Tommy knows Wilbur better than anyone, and he can see it, can see the whispers of Pogtopia and things and conversations he wants to ignore, wants to hide from.

“Here we are!” MD exclaims, snapping him out of his thoughts. He hadn’t realized how far they’d gone, or the way he’s digging his fingernails into his palms, but he relaxes as much as he can.

Schlatt looks like he’s asleep, lying across several seats in a very uncomfortable-looking position. Tommy snickers, but it’s morbid.

They can’t sleep in the afterlife.

MD pats him on the shoulder and whisks away before he can ask what to do. He starts after him, but the man disappears too quickly.

He sighs loudly and plods forward. He sits on the seat next to Schlatt and pokes his shoulder hard. He doesn’t stir. He pokes harder, then on his cheek, then tugs on a horn.

And the man starts, sits up ramrod straight and lets out a vicious cough. He looks around wildly before his eyes settle on Tommy, and he relaxes, laying back on the seat again and groaning.

“Fuck,” Tommy exclaims, settling back. “You scared me.”

“You fucking scared me,” Schlatt groans, rolling slightly onto his side. He stretched out a hand. “Get me a bottle and then we can talk.”

Tommy rolls his eyes, but nonetheless he gets a bottle of beer from the cabinet and hands it to the other.

Schlatt sits up to take a long gulp before laying back down. He lays an arm over his eyes. “Right, what’d the fuck you want?”

“Is there a Prime bell somewhere?” Tommy asks impatiently, tapping a foot.

“Why the fuck would I know? Go ask fuckin’ Wilbur or something.” He sighs. “I haven’t been into that shit for years.”

Tommy pulls his knees to his chest. He lays his head on his knees and, after a few long moments, mumbles, “I think you were right.”

Schlatt makes a sound. “Speak up, son.”

He huffs, but raises his voice all the same. “I think you were right about Wilbur.”

Schlatt sits up at that one. “He do anything to you?”

“Nah,” he insists. “Just being creepy as shit.”

He sits back again the seat and takes a swig. “I fucking told you, you know.”

“I KNOW,” he exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air. “Just help me find the fucking bell, I don’t need to hear your shit right now.”

He tugs Schlatt to his feet. He groans again, blinks as he finally opens his eyes, but eventually he waves Tommy to the door, and they set out.

Schlatt looks terrible. As cheesy as it sounds, the light Tommy saw in his eyes when he first appeared in the afterlife is gone, and he looks just as dead as when they found him in the Camarvan. He’s stumbling more, and he snags a potion bottle and throws it back as they’re walking.

“You need to slow down,” Tommy advises, tugging on it gently. Schlatt sighs but lets him take it.

“Whatever,” Schlatt mutters. “It’s through here.”

He stops short of the doorway, and Tommy peers at him. “Do you wanna go in?”

“Like I said, it’s been years,” Schlatt says, shrugging. He leans against the door. “I’ll be out here.”

Tommy can’t help but smile at that before he heads in.

He hadn’t thought much about Prime since he’d died, but it’s comforting to see the bell again. He’d been devout, at some point, even if his enthusiasm had died a little towards the end.

He moved forward to ring it a few times, murmurs a prayer that maybe has to do a little too much with Wilbur and a little too little with his friends up above.

He doesn’t want to think about them.

True to his word, Schlatt is waiting outside. He’s nodded off standing up, but when Tommy nudges him he starts to attention again.

As they return, he asks more details on Wilbur’s behavior, but Tommy can’t give him much without admitting to his panic earlier. Schlatt peers at him oddly, but he stays tight-lipped.

Wilbur’s waiting for them. Tommy stops short.

“Stealing my little brother?” Wilbur asks casually, leaning against a seat. Schlatt sneers.

“From your bullshit, maybe,” he spits. He’s swaying on his feet, but Tommy can see what Wilbur was trying to do, blocking the seats. He has the upper hand against a man who can barely stand.

“Tommy, come here,” Wilbur says quietly, beckoning with a hand. Tommy bites his lip, stares between the two of them, and stays where he is.

“Tommy, come here.” He’s commanding, now, and everything in Tommy screams for him to follow his orders, but he can’t.

“You didn’t change at all,” he says pleadingly. “I thought you’d changed since you’d died.”

Wilbur barks a laugh. “None of us did, Tommy. That’s the beauty in it.”

“You’re crazy,” he mutters, and pulls Schlatt back the way they came.

“Stop crying, kid,” Schlatt murmurs. Tommy hadn’t even realized, but now he can’t stop.

When Schlatt can’t walk anymore they settle in a few empty seats. Tommy wipes his eyes with his sleeves, but there doesn’t seem to be any end.

He stares at the door as long as he can. He doesn’t think Wilbur followed them, but all the same he can’t shake the paranoia.

They both start when the opposite door opens, whipping around. MD holds up his hands, surprised, himself.

“Woah, what’s up?” he asks, coming to sit beside Tommy. “Why’re you crying?”

Tommy shrugs. “Wilbur.”

MD hums, leaning back in the seat and wrapping an arm around Tommy’s shoulders. “It’s not worth worrying about him, ‘kay? He can’t do anything here.”

“I wish it were that easy,” he murmurs, relaxing into MD. “I’m worried about what he’s planning.”

“Hopefully it’s some way for me to die twice, at this point, holy shit,” Schlatt mutters from where he’s collapsed against the other seat. “I don’t wanna deal with his crazy ass for the rest of purgatory.”

Tommy can’t help but laugh. All of a sudden the situation seems more funny than anything. “You know, out of you three I didn’t think it’d be Wilbur I’d have to worry about.”

And they’re laughing, but the anxiety can't dislodge itself from his chest.

[mcrmadness]

Oooo, how about two from each of them? Fanfic asks: J and P, film asks: 15 and 16, music asks: 20 and 26.

OMG thanks!!! :DDD

Ask games: Fanfic asks, Film asks and Music asks. (People you can still send me asks if you want, asks are fun to answer to!)

***

FANFIC ASKS:

A little background before we get to the questions: I haven’t written too many, actually only 6 quite short ones (and one of them is a bit longer than usual) about Die Ärzte (Bela/Farin FTW) and all of these I have written between the years 2009 and 2012, so I was 18-21 which means they are not that good. And there’s lots of things I wouldn’t write anymore. I also have a WIP on my computer, I started it in 2012 but stopped writing altogether only to start writing again in the end 2018, it has bit over 28k words currently and tbh I have written 90% of that when I started writing again two years ago. I still have my old ones up on LiveJournal (ask for a link), but I haven’t published anything fron this later one as I’ve just been writing down all kinds of snippets whenever I have had an inspiration. I think those are also a lot better in quality than what I wrote before, the old ones are quite cringey.

J. What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I guess we talk about those fics I have also finished, now. It’s actually hard to decide but I would say my favourite is either Why not even once? or The Boring Book Freak. I think the latter is actually The favourite.

The first one (was actually my second dä ff overall) is set to happen in 2003 and in that one Farin is leaving for another vacation somewhere and Bela wants to go with him, but Farin wants to travel alone and Bela is struggling with that, as well as with Farin finally leaving and having to somehow survive his time at home without Farin there. The writing itself is bit stupid and I feel that the end got bit too far but otherwise I like the idea.

The second one (came actually after the previous one) is set to happen in the early/mid 90s (my fave Bela/Farin era btw) and on that they just are at some random summer cottage. Now, fuck cottagecores and such, I wrote it because summer cottages are a thing in Finland and I wrote it when cottagecore was not even cool yet. Somehow I imagined that it would be very Farin-like to rent a cottage from the middle of nowhere, in a forest and then spend a weekend or so there with Bela. Who then is not entertained at all and is bored because Farin won’t put away his book and won’t give him any attention, so he tries everything to get Farin’s attention. I especially like the visual images this fanfic gives to me, I can see their hairs and outfits so well and those are also aesthetically very pleasing. (They look the same as in that Absolut Live interview from the 90s, I don’t control their looks with my fics usually, I just have an idea and then my brain creates how they look in that particular scene :D)

I have also written a short songfic around the lyrics of their song “Ich weiß nicht (ob es Liebe ist)” and it was fun to imagine that as Bela/Farin. That was fun to write.

This got a bit long so I put the rest under a cut:

P. What are your favorite tropes to write?

(Had to google what a trope is lol. I’m old-school and no longer know most of the terms unless they’re old terms.)

Angst - I put my own angst, sadness and angriness into my writing often. It’s when I feel like in real life I would need other people but I don’t know how to reach out or don’t just feel comfortable about opening up, I open up a file and start writing. This is also where we get to the next trope...

Hurt/Comfort - But not so that X hurts Y, but that Y feels hurt for other reasons and then X comforts them. I kinda got obsessed with this theme after being bullied at school so I was always hurt but never comforted, so I often go back to those feels and emotions with my text to look for that comfort (hug, nice words, whatever) I never got in real life.

Fluff - This is bit complicated because I like writing fluff but I also hate reading fluff I have written. Because it does not sound like me. And sometimes when I write, I feel like standing behind my own back and vomiting a little on the inside because of how cheesy and disgusting that is but still I can’t stop writing. And then I feel like a different person when I read them because I can’t believe it’s ME who wrote them. The same way when I watch movies and people kiss, I always look away. And I want to look away when I read my fanfiction. But I can’t, especially because I know I looked at that scene in my head when I wrote it.

Humour - I love humour so much and I like to include this to my writing. Normally I put the humour in my comics but some of that fits also in the regular texts too.

***

FILM ASKS:

These are super tough but also fun - I have been trying to think of what to answer to these for days.

15. A film everyone loves but you hate?

The Avengers (-12). Sorry but not sorry. Well I don’t hate it but I don’t understand why everyone says it’s the best Marvel movie ever. It’s not. It’s full of clichés and stupid forced heteroromances and whatnot and the plot was just so, so predictive I don’t understand why it’s often talked about as some sort of cinematic master piece. I literally was able to tell everything that was gonna happen next when I watched it for the first time. Only cool things in that movie are Loki and Iron Man, whose character I already liked as I had seen the Iron Man movie and liked it. But I hated both Thor movies (the third one is awesome tho). 

I like Marvel and I have seen I guess most of the movies - before MCU all good Marvel movies to come out were The X-Men movies and Spider-Man movies, and because I saw so many terrible Marvel movies, I was avoiding the whole MCU and I got into these movies much later and still, after seeing them all, I say The Avengers is one of the worst ones. Thor and Thor 2 are pretty much even worse (and I haven’t even seen the Hulk movie because it looks terrible), mainly because I just can’t stand the fact they’re mainly just built around Thor and his love interest...

16. A film you love but everyone else hates?

Spider-Man 3 (or the whole trilogy with Tobey Maguire). I see we continue with Marvel here but seriously I don’t understand why everyone is always picking on Tobey’s version of Spider-Man? And people especially hate the third movie and how Venom was portrayed in it (I’m obsessed with Venom’s human teeth pls I want his teeth), when it’s actually the best one for me. The second one is bit boring because it was again all about whining and Mary-Jane... Anyway, the reason why I am so attached to these movies is that I saw the first Spider-Man movie from TV when I was a teenager and in junior high myself, and I was bullied and a bit of a nerd so I could relate to Peter Parker a lot, and it gave me just so much strength to see him become Spider-Man and to stand up against the bullies and other assholes.

I also saw the third movie in the movie theater and there was one scene during which I started hysterically laughing with my friend because of an expression Tobey made as he was sitting on a bed, I don’t know why but somehow I just totally lost it at that :D It still makes me laugh so much when I see it! And when the movie ended, I heard a The Killers song “Move Away” for the first time during the end credits and TK was one of my favorite bands at the time (and still is).

***

MUSIC ASKS:

20. a song that empowers you

It gotta be Dead! by My Chemical Romance:

This album was what got me through all the shit that happened when I was 15+ and especially this song always made (and still makes) me feel so good. I often listened to my old mp3 player while walking to school and back home and every time this song came by, I just felt like nothing can harm and that life FINALLY was so great! It’s so energetic and still makes me feel that living is actually super awesome.

26. a song that taught you a lesson

Hmmm. I think I will answer to this with Dusche by Farin Urlaub.

That thumbnail is terrible but... And why did I choose this song? Well, I’m all for the sound what comes to music and I’d say at least 80% of all lyrics go way over my head. I just don’t have the skills for understanding poetry and also very poetic lyrics make me go crazy. I hate not knowing and when I have to assume, guess and interpret something. I don’t want to guess but I wanna know what someone has actually thought.

Dusche was the first song that had lyrics that for the first time ever actually spoke for me. I probably saw some video with English subtitles a fan had made and it just blew me away because holy shit, people are capable of writing lyrics even I can understand??? And that way I realized I can like lyrics but only if they make absolutely no sense (aka are funny or somewhat crazy, like Dusche) or when they are written in a story form or sung from the 1st person view or to “you” or in passive - but only if I can get behind the idea there.

After Dusche, Farin’s song Porzellan followed. And one of my absolute favourites is Karten. So, Farin is one of the only few people whose lyrics I have been able to understand. I still don’t hear lyrics and don’t understand a majority of the lyrics my fave bands write, and I have understood only a couple of Bela’s lyrics and I’m not sure if I’ve understood any of Rod’s lyrics. It’s not even about the language barrier anymore really, it’s just the topics or wordings I cannot comprehend.

Thank you again for the ask! This was very interesting to ponder and answer to :)

[inventor-researcher-chef]

I MAY BE TO SCARED TO INTERACT BEYOND ANONYMOUSLY BUT I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE YOUR ASOUE EPISODE RANKINGS

Mmk It’s gonna be long tho so it’s going under a cut

Penultimate Peril Part 1

very accurate to the books! any changes made sense within the context of the show and worked

gorgeous aesthetics, strongest opening of any episode aside from Bad Beginning

only minus points because of Sporty Kit but she’s in it so little and the rest of it is so good that it doesn’t even matter

Max Greenfield as the Denouements was phenomenal

I actually liked the part where they try to make us think Kit was shacking up with Ernest, it was clever

Also I actually like the green uniform, I think it’s a more flattering colour on the actors than red would have been

Dewey’s death scene was amazingly shot and acted

I would die for Sunny in her toddler uniform. That being said in this episode if you look closely you can in fact see the light from the ipad they used to get her to look in the right direction

Reptile Room Part 1

Once again, gorgeous aesthetics and incredible book accuracy

Minus points for the spyglass subplot

Higher than part 2 because of Aasif Mandvi’s wonderful portrayal of Monty

I love the conservatory reptile room

Reptile Room Part 2

Very book accurate and entertaining

This is the episode where Violet’s outfits begin to slap

Minus points because with Monty’s death they made the colour grading less bright which makes sense but is less fun to look at

Also not a fan of how comedic and bafoonish the troupe is, it’s really more of an overall problem but it really just undermines how impactful Monty’s death is

Bad Beginning Part 2

Let’s be real, the Bad Beginning episodes were the most book accurate of the whole show

Loved the entire Marvelous Marriage bit, the play and marriage were done spectacularly

Lots of Jewish references, we stan

I actually like Jacquelyn’s presence in the first season, it works and adds a new element to the story

I also like Gustav being a major part of this episode because we never saw him in the original books and it’s nice to see his character before he dies (also symbolism with his death and Dewey’s)

Hostile Hospital Part 2

Do I even need to explain why this is so high on the list?

Higher than the first part because of the absolute horror of the whole operating theatre, it’s done so well

The aesthetics and filming work perfectly to underline the horror of everything

Only so low because I personally am not a fan of horror aesthetics

Bad Beginning Part 1

Once again, Bad Beginning episodes were the most book accurate and I love Jacquelyn

Strongest opening of any episode aside from Pentultimate 1

Only so low because of the cheesy CGI and NPH’s comedic Olaf

Hostile Hospital Part 1

ESME IN THE LIBRARY OF RECORDS HOLY FUCK

Low because aside from Esme being fucking fabulous in that scene I found the rest of the episode to be a bit boring at times

However, very accurate to the books and the chase scene in Last Chance was sufficiently freaky, as was the scaring Babs scene

For that matter, absolutely loved that we got to see Babs

Penultimate Peril Part 2

The Baudelaires in the trial scene made me🥺

The scene with Justice Strauss and Olaf with the kids was amazing

The ending made me cry

So low because of the opera scene, like how many issues did that have? It was pretty though

Also low for confirming Justice Strauss to have survived the fire, we don’t like getting answers to our questions

AND ANOTHER THING Esme’s ending was really lackluster? To the point of just being shitty? Especially given that while she is comedic, Lucy Punch hasn’t played up the comedy aspect of her character as much as NPH has, so Esme feels scarier and like more of a villain at this point so giving her that ending really fell flat

A very strong ending that really should have been the ending to the whole story

Grim Grotto Part 2

Grim Grotto was brought so low because of the absence of Widdershins but at least with part two you can pretend the first part had him and he left like in the books

Ansolutely in love with the submarines and Esme’s dress

Grim Grotto was one of my favorite books of the series as a kid so naturally it’s gonna be pretty high on the list

Also I think K Todd Freeman brings a needed likeability to Mr Poe, so when th Baudelaires are on Briny Beach again you do get the feeling they’re torn between going with him or Kit. Like they distrust and dislike him at this point but they don’t want to distrust him

Slippery Slope Part 2

The sinister duo are fab

Sunny is at her cutest in this episode, we’re talking peak cute

It’s pretty low because there’s a lot of stuff in the headquarters with Quigley that got cut, didn’t really make much of a difference but I missed it

I feel like Esme in the headquarters had so much potential to be as freaky as her Library of Records scene and it just fell short

Ersatz Elevator Part 2

Minus points for the VFD subplot but part 2 had less of that which is why it’s higher

Also in the ranking of Sunny being the cutest, this episode comes in at a close second to Slippery Slope

That being said overall I really adored the aesthetics of both episodes, absolutely love the mix of film noir and art deco

Jerome at the In Auction was amazing but Larry, Jacquelyn, Olivia, and Jacques was less so

Also still not a fan of the writing of the Quagmires

Ersatz Elevator Part 1

Once again, adore the aesthetics

Love the casting for the Squalors

Gunther’s disguise was *chef’s kiss*

so low because of the VFD subplot and the gratuitous musical number

That being said I did like the cuts between Keep Chasing Your Schemes and the Baudelaires finding the Quagmires, it worked well

Grim Grotto Part 1

Very low because of the absence of Widdershins and what this did to Fiona’s character

In general the way they wrote Fiona’s character was even less sympathetic than the books

Why, dear god, oh why was Quigley at Anwhistle Aquatics

Why, dear god, oh why does the Medusoid Mycelium look like that

Carnivorous Carnival Part 1

This was in fact my all time favorite book in the series as a kid and I just remember being a little disappointed I guess? By the episodes and I could never put my finger on why

Olivia’s character 😒

Higher than the second episode because I do love the creepy carnival feel and the feeling of unease before the Baudelaires know who Madame Lulu is

Also Esme’s gold outfit

As far as gratuitous musical numbers go, I do enjoy House of Freaks

Carnivorous Carnival Part 2

Cool carnival aesthetics

Chabo the wolf baby is adorable

Olivia’s death was more impactful and upsetting than Jacques’s, I’m just gonna say it

We miss a morally gray neutral character who is more interesting than a copy pasted Jacquelyn/Mrs Quagmire

Wide Window Part 2

This is really only so low because the colour grading is still kinda dull and it works within the episode but also makes it boring to look at

That being said the whole Hurricane Herman scene was phenomenal

rEaL eStAtE aGeNtS

The Colours in this episode were pretty, with the Lavender Lighthouse and the raincoats

Violet’s outfits remain slapping

The change to Josephine’s character is a good change (until season two when they do that to every single other character and take away any and all moral ambiguity but still)

Slippery Slope Part 1

we weRNT EXPELLED

I did love the Mortmain Mountains set

so low for the killing of the freaks, Sporty Kit, and for the heavy handed way they got rid of Jacquelyn

Wide Window Part 1

Boring and dull

Only this high because of Violet’s poppin outfits, the beautiful set, and Alfre Woodard as Josephine

Also the Captain Sham disguise is my favorite after Gunther

Austere Academy Part 2

The only reason part two is so high is because it has more Carmelita

who is the only good bit of these episodes

Like they’re both relatively book accurate, especially with the casting but like

I did not think it possible to make the Quagmires in this book more boring and yet

I get that it’s supposed to be dark and gloomy and depressing but it shouldn’t be so much that people just don’t want to watch it

Sunny running after the Quagmires in her little uniform does put this episode at like number 5 in her cuteness ranking though so points for that

Miserable Mill Part 2

While I miss the sword fight, I do understand why it was changed so I can accept it

Part 2 is higher because of Georgina’s slappin purple pantsuit

As far as MM goes I did actually like it but it still is kinda boring in comparison to the rest of the episodes

But I did like the mill scenes and Sir

Also a really strong ending that sets up season two nicely

Miserable Mill Part 1

See above

A little lower that Part 2 because of more Quagmire scenes

I actually liked the Quagmire scenes in season one and how it was handled but less so in this episode? Maybe it was the cheesy effects with the fighting

Also CGI Sunny. Her least cute episode

Vile Village Part 2

Vile Village was definitely one of my favorite books and I was so disappointed by the episodes

While I liked the western aesthetic, I don’t think it felt right with the feel of the book

Also crow nazis

Now that Jacques is dead there’s no bad VFD subplot so that’s why it’s higher than part 1

I really like how they handled Sunny not being able to take her first steps because she’s too old now. This is also definitely a good episode for the Sunny Being Cute scale

Vile Village Part 1

I really think the only thing this episode has going for it is the costumes, specifically Violet and Sunny’s

the watercolor dress, flannel, overalls, jesse hat, tricolor dress? fashion legends

disappointing, kinda boring, bland to look at, horrible VFD subplot, D+V???, bad CGI

however cute donkey

also a fan of Esme’s accent, idk what it’s supposed to be but it made my russian friend laugh

Austere Academy Part 1

Same as the first part however less Carmelita and Larry and Jacquelyn are at their most useless

Just the least entertaining episode overall

The End

honestly do I even need to explain this

I get what they were going for with the pink sheep and I quite like the tents but the pink robes were not flattering on anyone

Kit. Sugar. why is she in a white dress? when did she have time to change? overt christian symbolism after 14 episodes of Jewishness. Ishmael founded VFD. Ishmael can walk

The bad CGI. I haven’t seen CGI this bad since season one

The arboretum was disappointing and didn’t give the feel of years worth of buildup and it didn’t feel like the Baudelaires could live off of this stuff

That being said I loved chapter fourteen and BL

[copper-wasp]

Dante x Reader: Hot for Teacher (Part Two of Teacher’s Pet)

Dante still hadn’t made good on his promise to show you what he could do in a bed, and you were determined that you’d be in one the next time you fucked. You wanted to be treated like a lady, damnit.

Posted to AO3

Part One: AO3

Rating: Explicit

Words: 3137

Dante was looking at you over the exam he was grading; you could see him in your peripheral vision, leaning back in his chair, legs crossed at the ankles, resting them on the top of his desk as he held the exam paper just below his eye line. You willed yourself not to look at him, not to make even one microsecond of eye contact, otherwise any restraint you had would fly right out the window, and you’d end up naked on your back on his desk... again. For the third time this week.

He still hadn’t made good on his promise to show you what he could do in a bed, and you were determined that you’d be in one the next time you fucked. Not that the frantic, gasping orgasms he gave you in his office weren’t the tits, but you wanted to be treated like a lady, damnit.

Midterms came and went, and so did you, in many exiting and varied positions. You honestly didn’t mean to keep fucking your professor in his office, it was just... so convenient. All it took was an extra long look from him during a lecture, or feeling him hover over your shoulder to look at your laptop screen, or just a short brush of his fingers on yours when he handed you something, and you were done. Finished. Completely, utterly, and annoyingly aroused, only sated by his mouth and fingers and cock.

Dante let out his third sigh in the past two minutes, and you felt cracks form in your resolve. Your eyes flitted over to his, and he smiled knowingly at you.

“What’s all the sighing for, Professor?” you asked, resting your chin on your hand.

“Just thinking of how neglectful my TA has been in her...extra credit assignment,” he replied, throwing the exam paper on his desk.

“Excuse me?” you retorted, pursing your lips and narrowing your eyes. “We literally had sex yesterday. In this very office. On that very desk.”

“Well, it is a lot of extra work to keep me satisfied. If you think you can’t hack it, I can ask for a new assistant,” he said, dropping his feet back to the floor.

If it was anyone else, you would have been offended at his words, but you already knew him better than he thought you did. “I know what you’re trying to do, Dante. It’s not going to work,” you replied, closing the lid of your laptop and standing. You walked over to his desk, leaning down nice and low so he could see your cleavage down the collar of your blouse. You watched his eyes drag down to exactly there, having a nice long stare before he managed to yank his gaze back up to your eyes.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Unless one of these bookcases is a secret Murphy bed, I am refusing to fuck you again in this office.”

He pouted, actually fucking pouted at you, but you were firm in your resolve this time, still giving him unyielding, steely eyes. Realizing he wasn’t getting anywhere, he stood and stretched, grabbing his keys off of his desk.

“Guess we’re going to my place, then,” he conceded, walking around to the front of the desk. You opened your mouth in surprise, only to have him lean down to press a soft kiss on your lips.

“Wait, wait, you’re serious?” you asked, draping your arms over his shoulders.

“Very,” he replied, moving to kiss and nip at your neck.

“I can’t believe I won,” you mused, weaving your fingers into his hair.

“Well, when faced with the decision of not fucking you, or fucking you in twenty minutes, I’m going to go with option two.”

“You’re a real charmer,” you commented as his hands moved over your ass to have a nice squeeze.

“You love it,” he purred, right next to your ear before he took your earlobe between his teeth and gently bit down. You shivered, but luckily were able to stifle the tiny moan that slid out of your throat. If Dante heard that, you were doomed to another desktop orgasm.

You hummed, kissing his cheek. “There’s just one tiny problem, champ,” you began, straightening the collar of the polka dot button down he was wearing. “We’ve got office hours until 2, and it’s only—“ you checked your watch—“12:38.”

“Oh, fuck that. We’re leaving now. Put a post it on the door that we’ll be back later.”

“Shirking your duties as an educator? I am appalled,” you replied sarcastically, kissing the tip of his nose. He grinned before pressing his lips to yours again, kissing you with passion, hands creeping up your sides, sliding underneath your shirt to trace fire over your skin. You pulled away from him, sighing contentedly, arousal sparking to life in your core. “Patience,” you said slyly, licking your lips slowly on purpose.

“Goddamn, I just wanna have you now,” he mumbled lowly, dipping his fingers beneath the waistband of your jeans. You quickly grabbed his wrists before he could go any further.

“Dante, am I on a bed?” you asked, looking at him with raised eyebrows.

“...No.”

“Then I guess you’re shit out of luck.” He groaned and you smirked, grabbing your phone off the table.

Dante locked the door to his office and you pressed the sticky note to the wood.

“Shall we?” he said, gesturing for you to go in front of him. You walked to the parking lot, only then realizing that he drove here on his motorcycle.

“Oh shit,” you remarked, looking at him nervously.

“Something wrong?”

“I, uh, I’ve never been on a motorcycle before,” you admitted, reaching out to run your hand over the leather seat.

“I’ll drive very carefully,” he said with a touch of sarcasm, and you snorted, sure that Dante had never driven carefully. “Here, you wear this.” He handed you his helmet and you quickly put it on, cinching the chin strap snugly. It was a little big for you, but better than nothing.

“How do I look?” you asked. He knocked on the top of the helmet, making you wince a little.

“So cute,” he said with a big cheesy grin, moving to straddle the bike. You climbed gingerly on behind him, looking on either side to find the foot pegs. “Hold on tight, princess,” he said, the bike roaring to life. You wrapped your arms around his middle, grasping your wrists and squeezing. You didn’t want him to know how nervous you were, and you hoped he couldn’t feel your heart beating out of your chest.

You rested your cheek on his back, letting out a little yelp when the motorcycle took off. Dante, to his credit, did drive fairly carefully, and you only thought you were going to die once when he took a corner a little sharp.

You arrived at his place, a little brick townhouse in the middle of the block. Climbing off the motorcycle, you unbuckled the helmet and put it down on the seat, running your fingers through your hair to get rid of your helmet head.

You felt Dante put his hands on your waist, giving you a sweet kiss on the cheek. “Wasn’t too bad, right?” he asked, taking your hand to head up to his door.

“I could probably get used to it, guess you’ll have to take me for a ride more often.”

“Oh, I’ll definitely take you for a ride, babe.”

You rolled your eyes as his slid the his key into the lock. He pushed open the door, placing a gentle hand on your lower back to usher you over the threshold. Your jaw dropped as you stepped inside, doing a slow twirl to take in your surroundings.

“Wait... you actually live here?” you said, amazed, wanting to touch everything you could see. “Holy shit, do you have a hoarding problem? Do I need to stage an intervention?”

Dante’s house was like his office times a hundred. There were things everywhere, more dead animal heads, old metal signs, embroidery samplers, sculpted busts of dead rulers, just... everything. You loved every last object he had on display. It was like a personal museum.

“Ha, funny,” he said, slipping off his coat and throwing it onto an imposingly large coat rack by the door. He took your coat too, sliding it gently off your shoulders as you took in your surroundings. You felt him come up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, nuzzling into your neck. Your attention was immediately diverted from his house to the delicious kisses he was lavishing down your neck, letting that little stifled moan from earlier slip out from between your lips. He pressed the growing bulge in his jeans against your ass, fingers already working at the button of your own.

“Dante... I think I’d like the tour of your bedroom now,” you breathed, whimpering a little as he bit down on the soft skin at your neck, licking over the mark with his warm, wet tongue.

He turned you around in his grasp and you cupped his face, pulling it towards you to kiss him hard, eagerly pressing your crotch against his.

“Follow me, kitten,” he said next to your ear, running a series of kisses down your jaw. Grasping your hand, he pulled you behind him up the stairs, staring at his ass the entire time.

He pulled you into his bedroom, immediately kissing you again, and you moaned wantonly into his mouth, teasing his tongue with yours. You were already wet, feeling your slick start to migrate down onto your inner thighs.

You whispered his name, pulling up on his shirt, wanting to have closer contact with him. He gripped the hem of your blouse, and you stepped back to let him pull it over your head. He pressed kisses to your collarbones, his hands running over your lace-covered breasts.  

“Would you hurry up and take your clothes off?” you asked, impatient, trying to grab at the buttons of his shirt. He chuckled, moving his head away from your cleavage to allow you to undress him. You still got a hot flash of desire every time you saw his bare chest, his skin soft with hard muscle underneath. You worked at his pants, pushing them down over his hips and letting him step out of them. You palmed his erection through his boxers, hearing him suck in a breath. He practically tore off your jeans, pushing you backwards towards the bed. Your bra and panties were next, watching as Dante’s eyes roved over your body.

“Doesn’t matter how many times I see you naked, you still take my breath away,” he said, pulling you back into his embrace, letting his hands caress over tour bare skin. You felt your cheeks flush, and you kissed him gently as you pushed his boxers down and off his magnificent ass.

Copping all the feels, you moved to speak softly in his ear. “Same to you, cowboy. Just thinking about you makes me shiver....” You pulled his body flush against yours, his length pushing against your belly, hot and hard and velvety smooth. “Sit on the bed, Professor,” you commanded, stepping out of his orbit. He smirked at you, but did as he was asked, lazily sitting down and looking up at you.

You fell to your knees in front of him, pushing his legs far apart enough to accommodate your shoulders, drinking in your fill of his hard cock bobbing gently in front of your face. You reached out to grasp him in your hand, hearing a rush of breath as he exhaled, starting to work his length. You touched the tip of your tongue to the tip of his dick and he groaned, the sound shocking you right between your legs. Pulling the head into your mouth, you stroked the rest of his considerable length with your hands, bobbing your head further and further down his shaft as far as you could. Dante was breathing heavily, and you soon felt one of his hands weave into your hair.

He didn’t push, just steadied your head as you blew him, saliva running down your chin. “Shit, babe, that fucking mouth of yours,” he said quietly and you tilted your eyes up to look at him, red faced and eyes half-lidded. Picking up the pace, you took as much of him into your mouth as you could, willing your gag reflex away. You hollowed your cheeks, sucking him down, his groans of pleasure snaking into your ears. When you moved a hand down to squeeze his balls, he jerked his hips unintentionally, sending his cock to the back of your throat. You pulled off him with a pop, wiping your mouth and teary eyes.

“Get the hell up here,” he commanded, and you climbed on his lap, spit-slicked cock rubbing against your belly as he claimed your mouth in a searing kiss. Leaning back on the bed, he ground his hips against you, before flipping you onto your back and shoving his knee between your legs.

Dante moved down your body, kissing and licking and sucking at your skin on the way to your dripping sex, throbbing with need. Thankfully, he didn’t tease, and after settling between your legs, he immediately buried his face in your cunt, lapping up all the slick there waiting for him. Two fingers slid in without hesitation, and he crooked them deep inside as he sucked on your clit. Your orgasm was approaching fast, almost too fast, and your brain struggled to keep up with all the sensation he was giving you. One more hard thrust of his fingers coupled with a swirl of his tongue on your pearl and you came hard, essence gushing into his mouth. You couldn’t stop the mixture of moans and curses that spilled from your lips, your muscles clamping down on Dante’s fingers, still wiggling inside you, coaxing more and more pleasure out of you.

Still in a haze from your orgasm, Dante moved back up your body, taking a nipple between his lips and rolling the other between his thumb and forefinger. You arched your back in delicious pleasure, feeling his teeth gently bite down on your hardened bud. You moaned loudly, hands scrabbling for purchase on his back. He’s trying to kill me, isn’t he? you thought, feeling Dante switch nipples.

“Please, Dante. For the love of god, fuck me, please. I need you, holy shit do I fucking need you...” you rambled, trying to pull his face up to meet yours. His hand shot out to pull open the nightstand drawer, but you stopped him. He looked at you, puzzled, and you kissed him hard, feeling his cock twitch against your thigh. “I want you to come in me,” you said, completely shameless and so fucking needy.

The look that crept onto his face could only be described as ravenous, his pupils completely blown out as he processed your request. He shoved his tongue in your mouth as you spread your legs for him, reaching down to grab his cock. You directed it to your entrance and with a thrust of his hips, he sheathed himself inside you fully, and you felt as if you might burst. He swallowed your moan and bit down hard on your bottom lip, making your back arch off the bed.

He fucked your tight pussy hard, his cock stretching and filling you with each thrust. You dug your nails into his shoulders, your panting breaths keeping a steady rhythm. He sucked a bruise on your neck, and your entire body clenched, feeling him slide a hand in between your hot, sweaty bodies, rubbing punishing circles on your swollen clit.

“Oh, fuck!” you cried out, clinging to Dante as if you would drown without him. Your second orgasm was on the horizon, Dante hitting your sweet spot over and over with that fantastic cock, his hand driving you closer and closer to your peak.

“Come for me, beautiful,” he practically growled, “I need to see you lose control before I fill you up.”

You looked into his eyes, you own wide, your mouth unable to form words any longer, just mute cries of pleasure as the bomb exploded. Dante claimed your mouth fiercely, stealing your breath as you came beautifully around him. He groaned into your mouth as he felt your walls constrict, still keeping up his brutal thrusts, reaching down to shift your hips so he could drive even deeper into you. You dug your heels into his lower back, pulling on his hair like you knew he fucking loved.

You moaned his name over and over, body completely boneless, letting him use you to his completion. Hand gripping hard on your hip, he thrusted one final time, painting your insides with his come, Dante groaning deliciously as he filled you up. You were his completely now, you realized as he nearly collapsed on top of you. You wrapped your arms around him, keeping him close, feeling his cock twitch where he was still buried inside you with the aftershocks of his powerful orgasm.

“Dante...” you whispered, “Fuck, I don’t even know what to say....” He smiled at you, placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

“I think all those moans and curses said it all,” he replied, gently pulling out of you with a hiss of breath. He rolled onto his back, beckoning you to cuddle up next to him. You complied happily, loving the feeling of his arms around you. You traced your fingertips lazily down his abdomen, feeling each peak and valley of his muscles. He caressed a hand down your side, making you shiver a little when he hit your ticklish spot.

You kissed his shoulder, snuggling as close to him as you could. You felt warm and safe in his embrace, and you tried to bury the feelings that had bubbled to the surface of your brain. This was just for fun, right? Nothing serious...no, of course not...right? You blinked hard to try to clear your head, willing your thoughts back to where they came from.

“I’m so glad that having you in a bed was worth the wait,” you commented, trying to distract yourself, tilting your head up to look at him. He met your eyes, smiling down at you as he pressed a sweet, soft kiss to your forehead.

“Oh, you think that was it?” he said, a wicked grin spreading on his lips. “I’ve still got so much left to show you.”

You licked your lips in anticipation, letting your hand trail down, down, down until your fingers ghosted over his hardening length.

“Let’s get started then.”

Thank you for reading!!

Find me on:

AO3: copper_wasp

Twitter: copper_wasp_

[my-emotional-self]

The Accident Chapter 24

Pairings: Chris Evans x OFC

Warnings:  Swearing, Smut, Angst

Summary: After yet another fight with your boyfriend Chris, you go for a drive and get into a terrible accident.  Upon waking up in the hospital, you find both Sebastian and Chris sitting there.  The only problem?  You have no recent memories and you think you are still dating Sebastian.

A/N: Hold on to your knickers everyone!  Next chapter is when all hell breaks loose!

Serene. Tranquil.  That was the only way in which you could describe the way you felt as you woke up the following morning.  Your body was warm, but that was because Chris was behind you, his right arm draped over your stomach, holding you close.  

It had been just over four weeks since your accident happened, and while you hoped to have remembered more memories by now, you were happy with what you did remember.  You still had a long way to go to recovering all your memories and you hoped that one day, it will happen.  But right now, you were blissfully happy, encompassed in Chris’ arms, and fully sated from your sexual encounter last night.  

There was a soft grunt coming from behind you as Chris’ beard tickled your bare shoulder.  Placing a hand over your mouth to stop the giggling, you listened to him opening and closing his mouth, no doubt dry from sleeping all night and well into the morning.  It wasn’t like you to sleep so late, but it also wasn’t like you to get such a well-rested nights’ sleep as of lately.  

As Chris began to stir from behind, you felt his warm breath on your neck and you couldn’t help the moan that escaped from your mouth.  Chris’ arm tightened around your bare stomach as his lips began to place soft, open mouth kisses along your neck and spine.  Instantly your clit was begging to be touched, just at the touch of Chris’ soft lips.  The fact that this man turned you on with a few kisses made you weak in the knees; and you knew if you had been standing up right now, they would have given out on you.

You felt his tongue begin to graze up and down your spine, just below your neck.  “Chris,” you softly whimpered.  Your bare pussy got wet at his ministrations and you needed to feel him inside you right now.  Arching your back, you ass dug into his growing cock as he hissed at the feeling. “I need you Chris,” your words nothing but a plea.  

You felt him leave your backside and you rolled over to see him fishing a condom out of the drawer; hastily placing it on his ready cock.  As he moved to hover over you, you took his cock in your hand and aligned him at your entrance before he stopped you.  “Wait wait wait, are you ready?” he asked with concern.  

With a provocative smile, your hand left his dick and instead gently gripped his wrist and placed his hand at your open pussy.  He groaned when his fingers felt the wetness.  “Yeah you’re fahkin’ ready,” he growled before lining his cock up.  Drunk or horny, that was when his Boston accent appeared the most.  I’ll have to remember that you thought to yourself.

In one quick push, he was fully sheathed inside of you as you both cried in pleasure at the feeling. His member filled you to the brim as he gave you a minute to adjust.  Once you were ready, you wrapped your legs around his backside, urging him to continue.  

Chris wet his lips, your hands tangling in his hair as he began to thrust into you with rapid fire. With just a look, and your cries of desperation earlier, this wasn’t going to be slow and sensual but rather rough and quick, just the way you wanted it.  He began to pound into you with such fervor you had to place your hands behind you and onto the headboard to keep from moving.  His name fell breathlessly from your lips as he moved onto his knees, never slipping out of you.  Reaching over he grabbed a pillow and placed it under your ass as your heart skipped a beat.  This is new you thought as he began to move his hips back and forth.  

“Holy shit,” you breathed out as you now understood why he chose this position.  His cock was hitting you at such an angle, that his tip kept hitting your g-spot each time he thrusted in and out of you.  It was like nothing you had ever felt before. You watched as Chris took his eyes off you and down to where his cock met your pussy, slowly pushing in and out of you in a teasing way and the sounds of you getting even wetter echoed throughout the room.  Chris was literally watching his cock enter you as a deep burning of desire flooded your body; it was the sexiest fucking thing you had ever seen.  

He knew just where your g-spot was as he teased you; his tip just hitting it perfectly back and forth in the same spot.  You felt your high reaching from his teasing alone and once he felt your walls begin to clench, he pounded back into you quickly with his unrelenting hips.  

Your hands gripped the white bed sheets as it felt like the Earth stopped spinning.  Your walls spasmed around his cock just as he stilled his motions, leaning down on his forearms as the two of you rode out your highs together.  

~~~

After taking a shower, together, you and Chris got dressed for the day.  It was May 2nd, and checking the weather, there was a brisk wind today.  You put on a clean pair of black boy shorts and a matching black cotton bra before slipping on a pair of dark skinny jeans, black tank-top and a light grey cardigan.

Chris was wearing a pair of light washed jeans, white t-shirt and blue flannel; looking ever the sexy lumberjack man with his beard.  Once he placed his baseball hat on, the two of you headed out of the hotel room and towards the elevator.  

“How long is it to Sebastian’s place from here?” Chris asked as he snaked his hand with yours after getting into the elevator.  

“Ummm, probably close to a mile,” you guessed.  

“Did you want to walk or take a taxi?”

Although there was a brisk wind, it was still a beautiful day outside.  “Let’s walk!”

Hand in hand, you left the hotel with Chris.  It was much louder outside compared to the quietness of the house back in Los Angeles. When you awoke without your memories, you were upset to find out you were now living in Los Angeles; mad that you wouldn’t be around the hustle and bustle of New York City anymore.  But now that you were here, you were glad for the peace and quiet that was your home in LA.  

Cars and people littered the streets and sidewalks as you held Chris’ hand; the two of you maneuvering rather well down the crowded sidewalk.  Cars honked as they were stuck in traffic and you knew, better than anyone that honking your horn during traffic won’t get you where you need to be any faster.  

After living here for so many years, you had gotten used to the smelly streets, but now that you had been away, the smell was more awful than you could remember; the wind not helping as it now wafted the smell up and down the streets.  

The breeze, while annoying because of the strong smell of garbage, was actually soothing on your warm face.  You, and Chris it seemed, couldn’t stop smiling all morning long from the rendezvous both this morning and last night.  It felt like your relationship was really coming full circle, and your heart felt full with joy and happiness.  

Of course the only thing missing in your life was your mother.  You missed her greatly, and you knew at some point you would have to mourn her loss, and you will.  With your birthday tomorrow, you just wanted to have fun with your friends and enjoy the time you had with them before going back home and taking a break from everything to grieve her.  Your heart felt empty without your daily phone calls with her, but Chris was there for you, and he was mending the hole in your heart.  

Walking into Sebastian and Margarita’s apartment, it was just how you had remembered; everything was the same except for a few new art pieces on the walls.  For a minute, it felt like home, but then Chris placed his hand on your lower back and you melted into his warmth; HE was your home.

“Hey babe!” Margarita called as she got up from the couch and pulled you into her arms.  

“Hey Margie,” you replied with a giggle as she didn’t want to let you go.  

Margarita pulled you aside and into the kitchen as the guys talked on the couch; her smile never leaving her lips.  “You are glowing,” she whispered, not wanting the boys to overhear her.  

Turning your head to look at Chris, you suddenly blushed thinking about this mornings activity. There he was, sitting with Sebastian, laughing at something he said.  It made your knees weak just thinking that he was yours.  Whirling back to Margie, you chewed on your lower lip before nodding your head; it was girl-code and she knew what it meant.  

“Holy shit Erica! About damn time!  So, tell me everything…don’t leave the details out.”

“Haven’t you heard this before?  Like, the first time it happened?”

“Well Sebastian and I were new to our relationship, but yes, you did tell me the spicy details once you and I became best friends,” she shrugged nonchalantly.  “But I want to know if you feel the same way as before,” she finished with a wink.  

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as you remembered the last two encounters you had with Chris, the way he looked at you, the way his hands caressed every part of your body, and his tongue, fuck, his tongue was a piece of art.  Opening them slowly, you peered into Margarita’s eyes.  “Would I be cheesy if I said it was magical?”

Her mouth dropped open as a squeak escaped her lips.  “Girl that is what you said the first time around!”

You smiled back at her. “Seriously Margie.  It was unfuckingbelievable.  He is, without a doubt, a master of the art.”  

“So, is he better than Seb?”

You playfully nudged her, “I’m not answering that!”

~~~

The four of you headed out to lunch at your favorite pizza place called ‘Ops’.  It was a place that you frequented a lot while living here, and their pizza was to die for.  

Your time at the restaurant was filled with good company, and a lot of laughter.  By the end of the day, your stomach truly hurt from laughing so hard.  Being with Chris, and your two best friends, you couldn’t have asked for a better birthday present.  

Heading back to Sebastian and Margarita’s apartment, the four of you agreed to sit down, relax and watch a movie.  You didn’t care what movie you watched as you just wanted to get off your feet; forgetting how much walking was done when you lived here.  Now you were spoiled with driving around every moment of the day.  

Sebastian put on a movie and you crashed on the couch, cuddling up to Chris as you pulled your knees upwards.  It was relaxing to be in near him, at any point of time and you let out a content sigh. But too quickly, your head began to throb.

As the movie began to play, you tried in vain to ignore the throb of your head, thinking it was just a headache.  But as the movie progressed, so did your headache.  “Have I ever seen this movie?” you asked the group, trying not to wince at the pain in your head.  

“Nope.  It just came out on Netflix last week, so none of us have seen it,” Chris replied as he placed a tender kiss to your head.  As much as you wanted to love his kiss, it made your headache worse.

About half way through the movie, the ache in your head got so bad that you doubled over in pain. Clutching your head, you clenched your eyes closed as, what you could only imagine, was every memory from the last three years came flooding back to you.  It was as if you were watching your own home movie, you being the star.  You saw everything; every last glimpse from the last three years.  And you would have been happy to finally regain your memories, except you weren’t. They lied to you.  What happened to your mother was true, but the events leading up to it, was all a lie and they left that all out.  

“Fuck is she alright?”

“What’s happening?

“Should we call an ambulance?”

As your mind cleared you began to hear voices; voices that you knew, that were familiar.  Opening your eyes slowly, you felt that they were wet as you went to rub them.  Sure enough, tears were evident on your eyes and face; your chest heaving and your throat sore.  Turning, you saw three very worried pairs of eyes looking at you.  

You wished to tell them you were alright, but you were anything but.  With your eyes narrowing, you stood on shaky legs, walking backwards and away from them as Chris tried to come towards you.  

“I can’t BELIEVE you!!!  You fucking withheld the truth from me…..all THREE of you!  How COULD YOU???” you screamed before storming off to the bathroom and slamming the door on, who you thought were the three most important people in your life.

Tag List:  @iamthemaskhewears @trees-and-ink @janeyboo @nina-bok@geektastic84 @sarahp879 @our-daily-struggle @nomadicpixel@pathybo@be-amaziing @wipplog @ashann7 @have-aheart @agambleaway @lizzyclifford13-blog @lovinquotes @titty-teetee @ajosieface@ffcsave@dottirose @patzammit @brastrangled @miss-cap21@pumbibaby@kanupps06 @zohoffman @the-real-kellymonster @princess-evans-addict@white-chocolate-mocha-fan @mustbenot @marvelousmakeuplover @remember-that-one-blog@sincerelyfan@projectxhappiness@libbitinasdeath @hispeculiartreasure@guera31 @ssweet-empowerment@sfreeborn@sophiealiice @jjlevin @badassbaker@supernatural-girl97 @coffeebooksandfandom @esoltis280@poerebel@laochbaineann@marvelouslyme96 @crushed-pink-petals@thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @things-i-like1982 

[maousami]

73 Questions Challenge Inspired by Vogue

So I just finished reading Vogue’s 73 Questions with Kim K and my delusional ass wants to do this shit too.

I got this from   Nataliia Totka ’s blog and said sure why tf not lols

here we go

1. What are you most excited about these days?

I guess spending time together with my favorite human in the world 

2. What’s your favorite holiday?

CHRISTMAS <3

3. Favorite season?

The Philippines doesn’t really have that many seasons (rainy and summer only lols) so maybe the Rainy Season?

4. Where does one go on a perfect road trip?

ANYWHERE WITH A BEACH <3 I fucking love beaches

5. What is the best activity when home on a rainy day?

Sleeping or Cuddling <3 sharing a movie with my S.O. <3

6. If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

maybe my teacher Sir Steve. finally get him the girl he’s been crushing on since he was still studying architecture.

 7. What is the best thing that happened this year?

THIS FUCKING GUY 

8. What’s your New Year’s resolution?

Finish my thesis. lols <3 I am fucking done ahahhaha

9. What’s your favorite exercise?

ANYTHING LEG DAY RELATED <3

10. Best way to decompress?

Painting and just spending the day with my big doofus of a boyfriend.

11. What’s your favorite country to visit?

KOREA. 10/10. might change when I finally get to visit Japan though!

12. Last country you visited?

Korea hahahaha

13. Country you wish to visit?

JAPAN OFC. Also Israel ^^

14. What’s your favorite ice-cream?

DOUBLE DUTCH.

15. What makes you smile the most?

Being praised for something I don’t notice in myself

16. What’s the coolest thing in the world?

hmm... Vivid cosmic dreams.

 17. What is the cutest thing in the world?

FOXES def foxes.

18. How do you know if you’re in love?

I guess it differs by person to person. Me personally, I know when I constantly have this need to spoil that person and help them in anyway I can through heart to heart talks or maybe a school project. I don’t usually go out of my way for happy crushes but you know shit’s serious when I’ve tried to replace them with another one, only to fail and drag my ass back to them. I am such a hoe hahahha

19. If you could go to any concert past or present, what would it be?

I have been dreaming of attending a Hatsune Miku concert ever since I was a first year in highschool. I need to go to one before I die.

20. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?

I’m not the kind of person who’s the type to recieve. I’m more of a gift-giver so maybe the gift of people I guess?

21. Favorite fashion trend of all time?

The lazy Japanese unisex type. or maybe the tumblr girl who wears yellow dresses trend?

22. What’s your favorite movie of all time?

This is fucking hard. Clueless

23. What was the movie that made you cry?

OMFG CHEESY THING TO SAY BUT HACHIKO MY GOD

24. If you could make a documentary, what would it be about?

The mysterious life of Mao Usami

25. If you could have one superpower what would it be?

Being able to manipulate people under my will

26. What is the skill still unmastered?

Architectural manual drawing

27. What is the best thing that happened to you today?

Being able to wake up to this

28. Do you like surprises?

Yes uwu it makes me feel special hehe

29. If you could do a flash mob where would it be?

At SM department store hahahahhah might be funny

30. Do you like cupcakes?

sometimes ^^ muffins tho? mmmmm

31. Do you usually bake cupcakes?

I used to bake ALOT back in highschool. I was the kween of baked goods.

32. What’s your favorite desert?

Any Icecream cake. <3 would kill for a slice rn

33. Is there a desert you don’t like?

Anything with Peanut butter and Caramel. ew

34. What’s your favorite bakery?

Sofia’s atm

35. What’s your favorite food?

Anything pasta and OFC CHORIZO AAAAA <3

36. It’s brunch, what do you eat?

Pancakes, maybe a banana or maybe Tapa with warm white rice. mmmmm~

37. You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

CHOfuckingRIZO cant stress this enough

38. Favorite color?

YELLOW and baby pink<3

39. Favorite superhero?

not really a superhero but, Deadpool hahahhaha

40. What do you usually order in Starbucks? (or in your favorite café)

A Venti Iced Mocha without the whipped cream. also an Expresso Frappuchino is nice on a fucking hot day too. Iced Hazelnut Vanilla from Little Farmers is my go-to everyday coffee shot

41. Who is the last person you texted?

42. What’s your favorite activity to do in your hometown?

Having a great run around the neighborhood. Funruns are fun

43. What’s the next book you plan on reading?

I don’t have a new book in mind. maybe another YA novel?

44. What do you love in your pizza?

CARAMELIZED ONIONS AAAAAA and chorizo bits

45. Favorite drink?

Iced Hazelnut Vanilla by Little Farmers Coffee Brim

46. Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

Milk Chocolate ^^

47. What’s your favorite band?

kind of Mainstream but IV of Spades <3

48. Favorite solo artist?

DANIEL CAESAR 

49. Favorite lyrics?

Talk to me - Cavetown

50. If your life was a song what would the title be?

51. If you could master one instrument what would it be?

The Piano. real basic but I get really emotional with a few piano pieces. I’d like to play one of them someday

52. If you had a tattoo where would it be?

On my left forearm ^^

53. To be or not to be?

To be. hahahaahah

54. Dolphins or koalas?

Dolphins. definitely

55. How do you like your coffee?

White and Creamy  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

56. What’s your favorite curse word?

HOLY SHIT and PUTA

57. What color of dress did you wear to prom?

My school didn’t have a prom, but I did get to attend one with my cousin’s friend. It was pink ^^

58. Diamonds or pearls?

Pearls. they look classy and very Filipino

59. Cheap shampoo or expensive?

Expensive. I have frizzy thick hair. I don’t get too cheap with shampoo.

60. Blow dry or air dry?

Blow dry. hahahha blow

61. Heels or flats?

Heels. I look sexier ;)

62. Pilates or yoga?

Pilates every time baby

63. Jogging or swimming?

Swimming

64. One thing you can’t live without?

My sunglasses. 

65. What’s one cause that’s dear to your heart?

helping street animals

66. Who would you want to shoot a love scene with?

ADAM DRIVER AAAAA 

67. What’s your favorite sport?

I don’t do any sports but I usually love watching Figure Skating competitions and will def force my child into the sport. im sorry future kid!

68. Do you have a morning beauty ritual?

NOPE HAHAHA I AM SUCH A SLOB

69. What’s your favorite thing to wear?

I have this short mini dress I love to wear in bed <3 so comfyyy

70. What’s the priciest thing you’ve ever splurged on?

JFC MY WINDSOR AND NEWTON WATERCOLOR PANS

71. Do you play any musical instruments?

lol nope

72. What is your favorite book of all time?

Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah. Reread it a million times.

73. What is something you always travel with?

My Year Planner. ^^

[sugardaddycentral]

born to die pt. 2

Connor Murphy x Reader

Born To Die

Part 2

Summary:  Connor and (Y/N)'s relationship start to take a different turn as they get to know the real version of each other.

Song Inspiration: Born To Die / Lana Del Rey

Warnings: | language | drug use | mentions of suicide | mentions of self-harm | first person writing | mental illness | teenage angst |

Word Count:

Connor was in absolutely no shape to drive. After we got food, I let him have one of the joints I stashed in the glove compartment. And then after that, it went against my conscience to let him drive himself home.

Connor lived in a huge ass house at the end of a cul de sac. The sheer size of it left me in awe. I swear, I could fit my bedroom in their closets. "Holy shit," I muttered under my breath. A short haired, redheaded woman who I assumed was Connor's mom was out on the front lawn doing pilates. At the same time, a silver Mercedes was pulling into the driveway. Mrs. Murphy dropped everything she was doing and jogged over to my car. I rolled down the passenger seat window.

"Hi Mrs. Murphy, I'm (Y/N). Just dropping Connor off," I introduced myself.

"Oh, thank you! I'm Cynthia." She grinned painfully widely. She extended her hand through the window to shake mine. "Connor, what happened to your car?" she asked.

"He's high," a masculine voice stated. The man who I assumed was Connor's dad emerged from the Mercedes. He set down his brief case and went to shake my hand as well. "Thank you for bringing Connor back. I'm sorry if he was any trouble," said Mr. Murphy, his face painted with disgust at the sight of his son. Connor rolled his eyes and hid his anger behind a passive-aggressive smile. He slammed the car door open, not giving a shit that his dad was standing directly in front. He muttered a goodbye under his breath and stormed into the house.

"He can be like that," Cynthia nervously chuckled. "How do you know Connor, (Y/N)?"

I couldn't help but focus on Connor slamming his house door. His mom seemed sweet. His dad on the other hand was a piece of work. Judging by Mr. Murphy's formal attire and brief case, and not to mention the large house, this man made some good money.

"Oh uh, we met in support group."

"Oh!" Cynthia started, her face portraying a million emotions at once. She went from shock to excitement and then confusion, which she tried to hide with a cheesy and toothy grin. "That's wonderful! I didn't know Connor goes to support group. Did you know, Larry?" she asked turning to her husband. The same disgusted look washed over Larry Murphy’s face again, but with a hint of confusion as well.

“No, I didn’t."

"Oh, well I'm so happy that Connor is making friends! How about you join us for dinner tonight, (Y/N)? I'd love to hear more about how you and Connor became friends," suggested Cynthia.

I knew that dinner with the Murphy's would be a whole new level of discomfort. But like an idiot, I said yes anyways. I reached over to my night stand and grabbed my phone to text Connor.

To: Connor M.

just a heads up, your parents invited me over for dinner tonight

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I awaited a response.

From: Connor M.

y the fuck would u say yes?

To: Connor M.

because i'm an idiot

His response took a lot longer than usual. I double checked my phone.

From: Connor M.

...

u said it, not me

I grinned widely, then glanced up to check the time.

To: Connor M.

see u in a bit, loser

From: Connor M.

wear something nice

I pulled up to the Murphy house at around 7. Not a single light was out in the entire house. I parked the car by the curb.

My hands trembled as I went to ring the doorbell. The whole idea of sitting down with the Murphy's for dinner made my skin crawl. I decided to heed Connor's advice and wear something somewhat nice. The only thing that wasn't lying on my bedroom floor or in the hamper was a black cocktail dress that still had the tag on. I didn't expect that I would need it until now. To accompany my look, I did a natural makeup look and put on a pair of faux diamond earrings. Fake it till you make it, right?

My hand froze as I reached out to ring the bell. Just ring the fucking doorbell, I told myself. Each time my finger inched closer, I felt my heart being dragged down to the pit of my stomach. What if I just told Connor that I was feeling sick and just left. Or what if I say that my car wouldn't start? Or what if-

Before I knew it, my finger was on the button and the doorbell sound echoed in my mind. Muffled voices shouted at each other back and forth and a pair of rushing footsteps reached the door. A young girl, probably a year younger than me, opened the door. She was really pretty, I admit. She sported a vibrant floral sundress, a polar opposite from what I wore. She wore her long hair pulled back in a braid, which gave her an innocent presence.

"Hi, uh, I'm (Y/N). I'm Connor's friend," I awkwardly introduced myself and extended my hand. The girl showed the same courtesy.

"Connor doesn't have any friends," she quipped. "Zoe. Come on in. Mom's just finishing up the lasagna and Dad's in the living room."

The inside of the Murphy home was slightly different than I expected. Judging by the extravagant exterior and the white picket fence, you wouldn't have any doubts about how this family was kept together. As Zoe led me through the long hallways to the family room, I examined all of the framed pictures on the walls. There were countless pictures of 8 year old Connor in a Little League uniform. There were also a few of little Connor and little Zoe together in one of those professionally photographed scenes, the ones only people with good money could afford. The family portraits made the family look like royalty. The pictures came to a sudden halt. There weren't any more pictures that passed Connor's fourth grade year, and Zoe's third.

The shift in atmosphere pulled me out of the rabbit hole of theories in my mind.

"She's here," Zoe said to her mother. Cynthia Murphy directed her attention from her cooking to me. Her royal blue dress and beige shawl made her stand out from the monochromatic color scheme of the kitchen.

"You look wonderful, (Y/N)!" Cynthia exclaimed as she pulled me in for a hug. "Connor's just upstairs. Why don't you go see him?" she suggested, which made my cheeks heat up and flush. She pointed over to the main staircase that led to Connor's room.

I dragged my hand against the railing as I made my way up. There were three doors at the top of the staircase. One was a plain white door that had colorful foam stickers that spelled out "Zoe." The colors looked aged and faded. The other was a pair of double oak doors, which had to the Larry and Cynthia's room. The last was a black door with a gilded handle. That had to be Connor's room. Coming from behind the door was "Yesterday" by The Beatles playing on a speaker.

The door had been left open wide enough for me to shimmy my body through. I wanted to knock, but that was before I noticed that Connor wasn't wearing a shirt and his hair was tied up in a messy bun. His topless torso caught me by surprise. My eyes maintained focused on his toned chest. But more importantly, my eyes drifted over to his exposed arms. Scars, both faded and recent, littered up the inner parts of his arms. My jaw slacked and I let out a silent gasp.

I tapped my knuckles gently against the door and backed away from the opening before Connor could look over. I heard him quickly reach for a dress shirt to at least cover up his arms. The door swung backwards as he opened it.

"Hey," he said, weirdly sounding out of breath. His eyes raked over my entire outfit.

"Hey." My cheeks were embarrassingly red and hot as I couldn't get the image of him topless out of my head. I gave him a quick spin to show off my outfit. "Nice enough for you?" He let out a breathy chuckle.

“Yeah, good enough I guess,” he smirked.

PT 1

MASTERLIST

[realife-mermaid]

Reading Log for July

Once again redoing my counts bc I got more books (for free this time). Also I decided I’m going to mark which ones have bisexual characters and which ones are from my Indigenous People Only list bc it makes me, personally, happy lol.

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller - 4 stars. This was a reread bc I couldn’t remember enough to read the second book. I still love this so much, love Sal, and also not every book about people killing each other is the hunger games and the comparisons sell this book VERY SHORT.

Three Simple Rules by Nikki Sloane - 2 stars. The first 80% of this book was really freaking good. Sexy, romantic, and kinky in a way that is Mostly consensual (there’s like. a weirdness by virtue of the book being about how the main starts fucking her boss with a blindfold so she doesn’t know it’s him for a hot minute which is not good in real life, but in erotica I’m fairly okay with it) AND THEN the main gets passed up for a promotion bc she’s fucking her boss, he says he’ll quit so she can get the promotion and then...doesn’t and it’s fine apparently bc they’re engaged now. Bad, regressive bullshit and it ruined the entire book for me.

Otherbound by Corinne Duvyis - 5 stars. This book took all the right choices at every turn which means it took the most difficult, agonizing choice at every turn. Every time I thought “well that choice is messy realistically” the book went “and here are the consequences of this desperate but still bad choice.” It’s a complicated fantasy book about a boy who flashes into the mind of a young slave girl dedicated to protecting a cursed princess with every blink of his eye. It’s horrific, fascinating, and bleak but ends with an open ended, hopeful bent that felt very earned. Also Amara, a bisexual lead, is a fanatically complex character and I would die for her (and all the characters tbh).

The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline - 5 stars. Apparently I’m on a brutal SFF roll here because holy shit. It was almost lyrical in some places as it described the post apocalyptic world, and it did such a good job of handling mixed vs monoracial Natives without ever pitting them against each other. I didn’t love the constant casual use of half br**d but I’ll let it slide one (1) time bc the author is Native.

You Had Me At Hola by Alexis Daria - 5 stars. This was AMAZING. Romantic and sexy and emotional, and also delved into how TV sets work which was just fun to read. I also loved the leads as characters and the way they’re both obviously written as having undiagnosed Problems and then this is talked about. Such a good book despite the cheesy ass title.

Ella, the Slayer by A.W. Exley - 4 stars. Solid and interesting concept, and it did a lot of good choices regarding Cinderella stories, but it was also sort of forgettable? And I thought it was weird the prince only had one chapter from his POV.

Tikka Chance On Me by Suleikha Snyder - 3 stars. Cute and sweet, with some lovable characters and an interesting plot twist that belonged in a much longer book. There was just far too much going on for this to be a novella. Also the sex scenes were Not my style.

Girls of Storm and Shadow by Natasha Ngan - 4 stars. Not as good as the original but still good. I liked the way their PTSD was dealt with and I LOVED the chapters from other POVs but it was oddly paced and the supporting characters were mostly annoying.

Dearest Rogue by Elizabeth Hoyt - 5 stars. This was the perfect historical romance. It’s got good build up, a tense and thrilling romance, and also disabled main characters trying to survive a world that wants to silence them. The H is blind and the h has leg pain - written very well, in a way that affects the plot and also day to day issues - and it’s also a bodyguard romance!!! It has everything. It deals with class too which was just an e extra layer of fun. I loved this and I’m excited to read more by the author.

More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera - 2.5 stars. Bleak, weird, and a little homophobic and no I don’t care that the author is gay. The writing has a strong narrative voice and I loved Aaron, Thomas, and Collin but that ending was awful and this book doesn’t deserve to be in the same convo as Ari and Dante. Ari and Dante got a genuinely happy ending. All the gay characters in this are miserable or brain dead by the ending and I just don’t think that’s ~good representation~.

New Books: 9

Rereads: 1

Total Counts: 17/97; 23/188

Goodreads Goal: 41/49

[guardianofjunmyeon]

Important. (Drabble/One-shot)

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader

Genre: Fluff; College!AU

Description: 2. “It reminded me of you.” 37. “Can I kiss you?” 76. “I want you to have this.” 86. “You’re important too.” 100. “I love you.”

A/N: Drabble #2 for my 200 followers.

Whenever you saw him at work, he was always messing around with the composition software when he should have been helping input the music scores, that would arrive each day in the mail, into the library database. He’d be completely out of it.

Headphones in, nodding rhythmically to music he’d created on his own. There was no way you would interrupt him. Not when he was so in love with music.

Whenever you’d catch him after class in his dorm, he’d be strumming on his guitar, lost in thought as he distracted himself from the coursework he should have been doing.

It was a music major thing you figured. His housemates were the same way. You never tried to pull his attention away. Not when you were trying to suppress the crush on him you knew was one sided.

It didn’t bother you. You thought it was cute how much music meant to him. You knew that the amount of passion he had would get him far, and if he didn’t end up being a famous musician, then he definitely end up being a famous composer. There was no ill feeling at not being loved as music as you loved him. As long as he got far in life, and was happy, you’d be fine. You’d be content.

You only wished that he would pay half as much attention to you as he did to his music every once in a while.

But you were aware that, that would be too much to ask for.

You weren’t anything but a friend. A friend who tried to be there when they could without revealing anything about their growing feelings.

When commencement arrived and graduation was closer than you had ever imagined it would be, you felt even farther away from Chanyeol than you had when you first met him. He’d gotten an offer to work for a company months before, and had planned on moving across the country as soon as he graduated.

You were happy for him, you were.

You’d just wished you’d told him how you felt before now.

The graduation party was full of drinking adults that were planning on getting as much out of the night as they could. It was the final night of being college students, and after tomorrow’s ceremony you’d be off. You’d all be going your separate ways soon enough to find jobs and start lives of your own.

It was nerve wracking.

A CD. You’d made him a CD full of music that you knew he liked and you wanted to give it him when you told him how you felt. You’d confess and then you’d leave so that you could avoid having to see his reaction to the cheesy old school CD you’d taken the time to create for him.

It wasn’t hard to find him at the party. He was one of the tallest people there and had one of the loudest laughs. It was hard convincing yourself to move your feet forward and kick away the thoughts that you were making the worst decision of your life.  

By some miracle, you end up standing behind him in the line that’s formed to get to the alcohol. The CD feels heavy in your hand and you clutch it tightly between sweaty fingers.

It’s now or never.

“Chanyeol,” you call out, voice wavering uncertainly at the end. He turns around and you see his face light up in recognition. Before he can greet you, you shove the CD out towards his stomach. “I wanted you to have this.”

His eyes move downward and confusion washes over his face. Your heart thumps harder in your chest. He’s so fucking cute. “What-”

You cut him off. “I wanted you to have this…” you repeat stronger than before “…because I know how important music is to you, and I know these are really good songs that you might like to listen to or even use in a composition of your own,” the words spill from your mouth in an unfiltered jumble of syllables and run-on sentences. You hope he understands because there’s no way you’d be able to recall and repeat what you’ve said. “I just hope you can use it in some way and remember me when you go off and do great things because I know you will and before I never get the chance to say it again, I love you.”

You jut the CD out farther and cast your eyes down to avoid the look of horror and disgust you’re sure is on his face. Why the hell isn’t he taking this out of your hands? Can he feel you dying? Is he enjoying the shame you’re radiating? You risk a glance up and see his wide eyes darting from your face to the disc and back to your face again.

Unmistakably, you see red creep up his neck and ears. Finally, you take your eyes off the ground to take in the embarrassment on his face as he reaches in his pocket to pull out a sheet of paper and a bracelet.

“I uh…got you this?” he says, dangling the bracelet I front of your face. “I wrote down a few of my favorite Tumblr urls since you’re into reading and writing and you’re always on there, but never show any of us your account so…” he scratches the back of his head bashfully. Your heart swells. “And this, uh, it reminded me of you. I was going to…tell you the same thing and give these to you, but I guess you beat me to it.” he flushes. His hand shakes as he clasps the thin bracelet around your wrist, and slips the CD from your clutch.

When he hands you the neatly folded sheet of paper, you remember how to function once again. “T-Thanks.” your mind supplies weakly and you wish you could die on the spot because this isn’t how you expected this to go. Its going unspeakably better, and yet you feel even more terrified than you ever thought you would. The line moves closer to the punch and you both shuffle along with matching crimson cheeks.

“You’re important too,” he murmurs after running his fingers across the plastic case a few times.

“Huh?”

He coughs. “I uh…you…before you said music is important to me. It is…but, you’re important too, and I don’t want this to be the last time we talk. Especially since…you know…”

You love me. Your mind supplies giddily.

“Yeah…okay,” you smile so hard your cheeks hurt, and god damn it it’s worth it to watch him light up excitedly (albeit nervously) as well.

“Yeah. Okay.” The two of you fall into silence as you stare kind of in disbelief at the gifts you’d given one another, and your mind is ready to short-circuit, because holy shit Chanyeol likes you back? And holy shit he wrote down his favorite Tumblrs and got you a bracelet because he thinks about you on his own? This is impossible? You must be dreaming? “Oh and…I do too…love you I mean. I just uh…I wanted to say it back,” he says with his bottom lip jutting out slightly, and fuck why didn’t you both do this earlier? You could have been dating by now!

Going out. Holding hands. Being gross and couple-y at parties with your friends because all you want to do is be with one another. Sharing food. Being with him late at night when he writes songs.

Kissing.

“Can I kiss you?” you almost mistake the words for your thoughts inside of your head, but this voice is too clear, too close to your face for it to be so. Your eyes widen and you realize he’s leaned down just close enough for you to be able to move a centimeter to touch his lips with your own. He blinks innocently and it makes those damned butterflies in your stomach go wild. You wonder if you make him feel the same way…

Instead of answering, you close your eyes and push forward that small space that seems to feel like miles, letting his lips, the lips you’d dreamt of too many times, finally connect with yours. They’re just as soft as you’d imagined them to be.

You’d have stayed in the moment forever if possible. You don’t want to think about what this means for the future. If you’ll carry on long distance when he goes off to start working after the ceremony. Where this will leave you. You’ve just begun, and you feel like this is as much the end as it is your beginning.

“Fucking finally,” someone shouts from behind you (sounds a lot like Yixing), and another person whistles and shouts something that sounds like “Get a room” but you can’t seem to focus on words because your heart is in your throat and pounding in your ears at the same time.

Chanyeol takes your hand proudly, and you think, perhaps finding a way to work this out won’t be as difficult as you imagine it will be. At least, not if you’re as important to him as he is to you.

[rizlowwritessortof]

SPN Valentines Fic Challenge

@winchestersandwordprocessors - Chris, thanks for organizing this challenge! 

My assignment was: Dean/reader + semi-public or risk of getting caught. This turned out a little different than I thought, I kind of failed at the ‘reader’ portion - I’m sorry, Chris! I could just hear Dean in my head, so I went with it. This is from Dean’s POV, hope you enjoy!

God, this fuckin’ job sucks.

I mean, I know sometimes we have to do things we don’t like to get the information we need. But we’ve been working at this broken-down piece-of-shit carnival for a week now. I’m so goddamn sick of pickin’ up people’s trash and cleaning up after sick kids.

Sam’s being a pain in the ass, too. I mean, I’m dealing with Dad’s death. As much as you can deal with something like that. He’s all up in my grill about my feelings, and all I wanna do is kill something. This damn clown/monster/whatever the hell it is. I just wanna kill something that deserves it.

Ooooh, or something more fun. There she is again. That little piece of heaven that’s been hanging around here for the last couple of days. She’s been pretty damn friendly, too. Had her coming on my fingers in the haunted house last night, she’s just sweet. But I’d like to really get into her, if you know what I mean. God, she’s wearing those little short shorts again, and she’s got a set on her that makes my mouth water. Wonder if she’s feeling friendly tonight, too…

“Hey, sweetheart.” Aww, she’s blushing, looking up at me all innocent. “How’s it going? You wanna – hang out? I’m off duty in 3 – 2 – now.”

So I’m ditching this stupid jacket, and this trash bag, I’ll pick it up in the morning. I lace my fingers through hers, and we go for a little stroll through the carnival, mostly closed down now. She’s kind of shy with me, but we’re chatting and she’s warming up just fine. So I pull her behind one of the tents and kiss her, nice and easy. She tastes like summer, strawberry wine and cotton candy, the kind of girl I wish I could really be with. Best I can do is pretend for a while. She’s into it, though, now that she’s over those shy, awkward moments, and damn – she can kiss. And she’s got her hand on my dick. So there’s that. Where can we get some privacy? Huh. Now, there’s an idea...

“Hey, know what? We should take some pictures. In the photo booth. You want to?” I whisper in her ear, and she gives a soft little giggle, shaking her head yes. Awesome. It’s pretty dark over there, and not too many people wandering around now. Perfect.

I pull her into the booth, making sure the curtain closes, and pull out my wallet. I’ve got a few ones in there, so we’re all set. While I’m at it, I tuck that condom into my front pocket. If she’s up for it, I definitely am. So hard I could cut glass right now.

I slip a couple of bills into the machine and we do the usual cheesy stuff, girl on my lap, giving her a little kiss, you know the drill. Before I put more money in, I kick things up a notch, kiss her like I mean it, get my hand up between those soft thighs, and before I know it, she’s rubbing against my fingers, those little whining noises getting muffled in our kiss. She’s so wet, I can feel it through her clothes, and damn, I want a taste.

One thing at a time, though. She’s all soft and warm, just enough to fill my hand, and when I reach back to undo her bra, she doesn’t even react. I pull her tight little t-shirt up, and her bra along with, and there she is in all her glory, those perky little nips just begging for attention. She’s gasping and panting while I suck and lick at them, my hand still going to town between her legs, and I stop for a minute to look at her. God, women – I love ‘em. So damn beautiful when they’re lost in the feeling of being touched, and nothing I love more than putting that look on her face.

When she looks back at me, I just stare at her for a minute, then lean in to kiss each nipple. “Baby, will you let me get a picture of them? You’re gorgeous.” She goes all over rosy, her lip caught between her teeth, and then she nods. Yes. I put another dollar in, and I lean in, flicking my tongue over her again, then get out of the way of the camera. I grab the shots, and I can’t help the little moan in my throat. Fuck, she’s hot.

I turn and kiss her again, harder this time, and she’s really squirming against me now. So I pull back, take a tiny nip at that plump little bottom lip, and give her my best puppy dog eyes. “Can I taste you, sweetheart?” I ask her, stroking over her pussy so she understands exactly what I’m talking about. “I’m dying to see how sweet you really are.”

She’s shaking, she’s so gone, and then she nods, quick, avoiding looking at me. I undo her shorts, pull them and her soaked panties down around her ankles and off one foot, then kneel in front of her in that tiny space. She smells like heaven. I pull her leg up, propping her foot on my shoulder, and give her a smile, then freeze. I hear footsteps, giggling, coming closer and we both just hold our breath.

“You wanna take a picture with me?”

“God, no! Can we just go home?” The boyfriend, or husband, whoever the asshole was, just keeps on walking, and the woman follows along.

“You never want to do anything fun. I don’t think you really love me...” The whining words fade away, and I smile up at my girl.

“Coast is clear!” I whisper, and then I lean in to run my tongue over her, and damn, she’s just as sweet as I thought she’d be. She gets over her shyness fast, pretty soon she’s got her fingers tangled in my hair and she’s breathing fast and hard, just rubbing herself on my face like her life depends on it. She clamps her own hand over her mouth when she comes, I can hear her smothered scream, and she just quivers around my tongue.

I get up and sit beside her again, and I sweep the hair from her face, giving her a smile. “You’re not a virgin, are you, baby?” She shakes her head, still shaking, and I kiss her, real gentle. “You wanna…?” I ask, soft, leaving it up to her, bringing her hand down to where my cock is trying like hell to swell its way right through my zipper. “I’ve got a condom, I believe in being safe.” She nods, and I undo my jeans, what a damn relief, I thought I was gonna explode in there.

She watches in the dim light while I roll the rubber on, she looks a little scared. “It’s okay, sweetheart, if you don’t want to. I won’t be mad. I promise.”

“I want to,” she whispers, reaching over to touch me, and holy shit. I need to be inside her like right now. I look at her, a few dollars in my hand, and she nods, her cheeks flushed and her eyes all bright, so I feed the machine. I pull her close, her back against my chest, her thighs spread over mine, and help her guide herself down onto me. Fuck, she is hot, and tight, and it’s taking everything I’ve got not to blow my load. Once she gets settled, she’s all snuggled up against me, my cock buried in her deep, I lean up and push the button on the machine.

And then I move. My hands are on her hips, holding her while I fuck up into her, and damn, does it feel good. I could die right now and I’d be a happy man. She is making soft little noises that could make a grown man beg for mercy, and I seriously don’t know how long I’m gonna last. The machine is snapping shot after shot as she rides me, and I reach down for her clit because I’m gonna blow and I want her to come with me. She lets out a cry loud enough that I put my hand over her mouth, rubbing her little nub for all I’m worth, and she fucking squeezes me so hard I almost yell. It feels so damn good, I buck up into her hard two or three more times, and I fucking explode so hard my ears are ringing. I fucking throb and throb and for a minute I don’t think it’ll ever stop, but it finally does, and I just kind of collapse underneath her, holding on to her because she goes limp, too. Her head is lolling back on my shoulder, and we’re both breathing hard, our hearts pounding so loud I’m surprised somebody can’t hear us.

Eventually, we move. I help her get her clothes straightened out, toss the condom outside quick, get myself back together. I stand up, pull her right into my arms and kiss her, sweet and slow. She deserves to feel like she’s special. Because she is.

I walk her to the edge of the lot, holding her hand, the pictures all shoved in my pocket. When I kiss her goodbye, I ask if she wants some of them, but she shakes her head no. “No, wait,” she says softly. “Can I keep the first set?”

“Sure.” I pull the photo strips from my pocket, handing her the innocent ones, the ones she can look at without blushing.

“You won’t show them to anyone...” she’s nibbling on her lip, a worried look on her face.

“Sweetheart, these are all mine. Nobody’ll ever see them but me, some lonely night when I just need a good memory to get me through. I swear. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll give them to you right now and you can get rid of them all. Your choice.” I give her a kiss, let her know that it really would be okay.

She shakes her head. “No, it’s okay. I trust you, Dean.” She stands up on her tiptoes to kiss me this time, so damn sweet my teeth ache, and I wish… but, yeah...

So she goes, and I watch her walk up the street, wave at her when she turns to smile.

Yeah. It was one hell of a good night.

@saenalife @salvachester @misswhizzy  @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog@geeklibrarian@leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid    @aprofoundbondwithdean  @mamapeterson@mrswhozeewhatsis@littlegreenplasticsoldier  @sleep-silent-angel@darcia22@winchesterprincessbride@jessica-bones-winchester  @ellen-reincarnated1967 �� @eyes-of-a-disney-princess@deangirl96@iamflanneltrash @deanslittleangel2y5  @melanie451 @juliaspnlover  @lovin-ackles @spectaculacular-sammy   @dyingforlove1992@bookchic20  @jodyri  @selma-jean@avasmommy224 @shadowlightforcast@tonifish @savingapplepie-eatingthings @angelofwinchester17@kittenofdoomage   @masked-maiden42  @lean-mean-deanwinchester@ericuhlorain  @undecided-garden@ceeceewinchester@typicalweirdbookworm@purplecocopops   @feelmyroarrrr@callmesweetheartifyoumeanit  @youtoldalie   @tanithlowisabamf @ch3353y1  @deandoesthingstome @jxackles @nerdwholikesword @soivebuiltupaworldofmagic   @kreweofimp   @deansbaekaz2y5   @trippleberrydeanpie @gabavaldman  @chaos-and-the-calm67  @darkx143@disassociativedogma  @ioanashalala@jencharlan   @deansthirst @randomvlogstuff   @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms  @dorky-and-i-know-it @mischief-maker1  @hamartiamacguffin @winchestersandwordprocessors  @percussiongirl2017

[dearest-bloggu]

My Draco and my Rhysand

Hello Bloggu, I hope you’re not mad that I change your name. I mean, we’re way past pleasantries and I guess you’re indeed a dear one for me, so there dearest.

Anyway, I found myself contemplating lately. Obviously, about the heartbreaks in my life. Seeing that the latest one came from a one-month relationship, I’m a little bit sceptical and ashamed and much more repressing my hurt in this one, since well, its only a month old. Shouldn’t hurt much, right? But then my dear old dad saves me by saying that

“No, of course you’re hurt. It’s your feelings. At the very least, you trusted him not to hurt you. And that betrayal, hurts. It’s okay”

I proceed then to explain that maybe what hurts the most was about how I thought lychee checked all the boxes of my type of potential lover and how sad it is that we’re not meant to be. Which lead to the discussion on where should I find my Rhysand, my Draco, really?

I’ve honestly tried all the types out there. The academics (3 times), the jocks (3 times), even the holy-er than thou (2-3 times? Never last long with those lol). But in the end, or probably since I haven’t met the ‘right’ one, they always found something within me that is contradicting with how they ideally saw me at first and found that... they can’t accept that. It was a kind of mindfuck, truly.

I’m obviously intelligent, and speaks fluent sarcasm, and even more fluent english. I honestly love words (both bahasa or english or whatever others) and I READ TO LIVE. Not eat, but read. I honestly wouldn’t last long with anyone who can’t understand my sarcasm or me who use english on a daily basis, but could also swear fluently in japanese, and does understand and quite well-versed on literature, Indonesian or not.

I have friends with tattoos all over, friends who previously jailed years because of drugs, those who smoke and drink and dance like their life depends on it, another who are heads of executives on various organization (NGOs, universities, companies), or friends who took their bachelor or master abroad and are ambitious geniuses, or literal artists that paints and writes for a living, and many others.

Is it so hard for anyone to accept the idea that there is a girl who

Loves drinking and dancing in a club, or sit quietly and listening to someone playing guitar while camping somewhere, or just sleeping and cuddling in bed with favorite playlist on speaker, or watching movies in cinema-with and without popcorns, or cooking together, or travel to new places, or shopping when the money is available.

Enjoys jazz, rock, alternative rock, pop, reggae, or movie soundtracks. Die-hard fanatic of Taylor Swift and Avril Lavigne.

Watched Harry Potter, LOTR, Fast and Furious series, DISNEY OF COURSE HOW COULD YOU NOT, and many many barbie movies. Some cheesy romcoms also appreciated.

Wear comfortable oversized T-shirt one day and fitted mini dress another day, yet absolutely able to rock that chic office outfit with blazer and pencil skirt, also loves to steal boys clothes, for wear.

Took care to always buy safe and well-reviewed make-up products, perfumes, hair treatment products (include the coloring), even when it is quite costly.

Happy to eat streetfood cost around 10k per person yet also willing to indulge an eating splurge of 200k per person, or just that particular guilty pleasure 50k black yoghurt.

Honestly couldn’t care less about motorcycles or cars and would likely force anyone to walk with her (literal walking) from time to time.

Obsess with piercings and tattoos and dyed-hair and all that jazz. Yes. Obssessed. 100% likely to get all three (two out of three checked).

Seriously in love with Jesus, is constantly listening to worship songs. Worship is lyfe.

I mean, am I that contradictory?

The academically-driven would always, ALWAYS have problems with the piercings and drinking and late-night outings, and short clothes, obviously tattoos. Sometimes I wonder why they even willing to be within a metre of me since most of the time my damn hair have crazy colors such as green and blue and purple and red, which honestly shouldn’t project the goody two shoes image they somehow imagine I am. The jocks and the street guys would ALWAYS unable to understand my full english rant, or sing-a-long to my disney songs, or understand that yes I want that damn expensive perfume because I love the smell but that doesn’t mean I forgot to save money for my future. The holier than thou? They just can’t stop nagging me to listen when the priest preached the more money more blessing bullshit, or the avoid sin then you’ll be save and happy in heaven later bullshit. They just can’t see how self-absorbed those teaching were and then proceed to cast me out as a nonbeliever, or a scam. They never know how I honestly swear to God believe and love Jesus (even though not perfectly yet) and I do live my life for Him, just because I don’t listen in church. Sometimes it even gets better, when they got in a situation they don’t like and proceed to be angry with God. Like I’m sorry what? Where is the logic in that? Didn’t you just say that your life belongs to Him? If so, shut the fuck up and be grateful you daft bimbo. You have absolutely no right to be angry, and that just show how shallow the faith runs in you.

So tell me, other than all those types, which others I should try? Wherever should I look for? My Rhysand, my Draco, my Rowan. After all these time, honestly? I’m tired. Tired to get to know another while always waiting for the shoe to drop. Which part of me they’ll hate and unable to compromise with and proceed to leave, or resent me daily for that part. Yippie.