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shinyboomboom · 4 days ago

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Answering 100 Questions About Me 💌

Shoutout to @uwuauthority for the questions!

What is you middle name? Don't have one, my moms family had a tradition of not giving their daughters middle names so that they could take their maiden names as their middle name (But my mom said if I did have one it'd be Joe!)

How old are you? I'm 16!

When is your birthday? June 4th!

What is your zodiac sign? I'm a Gemini :(

What is your favorite color? Pink!

What’s your lucky number? 4

Do you have any pets? No :(

Where are you from? America! Not ever gonna get more general than that though!

How tall are you? 5'4

What shoe size are you? 7 1/2

How many pairs of shoes do you own? Like 15ish?

What was your last dream about? Getting dream fired from my job lol

What talents do you have? I'm good at yoga, tennis, Journaling, and I want to eventually learn how to play the piano

Are you psychic in any way? Nope! I do get crazy deja vu though!

Favorite song? Beaches By Beabadoobee

Favorite movie? 10 Things I Hate About You

Who would be your ideal partner? I like blonde guys who are gentle,quiet, and sweet! There's a reason Dean Redding is my dream book boy lol

Do you want children? Yep I want 2 or 3 kids

Do you want a church wedding? Depends if the church is really pretty or if it was important to my boyfriend!

Are you religious? Kinda! It's complicated!

Have you ever been to the hospital? Not for anything serious! Did sprain my finger once, though (My brother threw a basketball at it lol)

Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nope!

Have you ever met any celebrities? I wish! (Walker Scobell hit me up)

Baths or showers? Baths when I want to relax and showers when I need to focus

What color socks are you wearing? I have on like the pinterest heart socks on rn lol

Have you ever been famous? Nope! Once I had a tiktok account with a 1,000 followers that was just all Batman edits lol

Would you like to be a big celebrity? Nope!

What type of music do you like? I'd say like basic teenage girl music (Like Taylor Swift,Clario,Beabadoobee, Chappel Roan, Lucy Dacus, Sabrina Carpenter, and Olivia Rodrigo) with a little bit of retro music sprinkled in there (Joan Baez, Spice Girls, and Lious Armstrong you'll always be famous)

Have you ever been skinny dipping? Nope! Sounds fun though!

How many pillows do you sleep with? 3

What position do you usually sleep in? I like rolly polly into myself lol

How big is your house? It's 3 stories!

What do you typically have for breakfast? Breakfast makes my stomach hurt most of the time but I love French toast!

Have you ever fired a gun? Nope! Not even a beebee gun

Have you ever tried archery? I used to play with a nerf bow and arrow lol

Favorite clean word? Holy Cannoli

Favorite swear word? Cunt!

What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? Never pulled an all nighter but in freshman and sophomore year I'd average about like 3 hours every night (I had insomnia)

Do you have any scars? Yep!

Have you ever had a secret admirer? No clue!

Are you a good liar? Depends who you ask

Are you a good judge of character? Nope!

Can you do any other accents other than your own? I can do a valley girl accent!

Do you have a strong accent? Nopeeee

What is your favorite accent? Lightly southern accents

What is your personality type? I'm an INFP

What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Probably the coach bag my older sister got me for christmas! (She's like the coolest ever and is a Travel and Leazure manager for Costco)

Can you curl your tongue? Yep!

Are you an innie or an outie? Innie

Left or right handed? Right handed!

Are you scared of spiders? Nope I'm the designated spider killer in my family

Favorite food? Broccoli Cheddar Soup

Favorite foreign food? Soup Dumplings

Are you a clean or messy person? Clean

Most used phrased? Dag Nabbit

Most used word? Like

How long does it take for you to get ready? 1 hour

Do you have much of an ego? Depends on the situation (Most of the time no but randomly I will think I'm the coolest person ever without prompting)

Do you suck or bite lollipops? Bite I'm impatient

Do you talk to yourself? Nope

Do you sing to yourself? Yep

Are you a good singer? Nope

Biggest Fear? Clowns

Are you a gossip? Not on purpose but I don't have a great filter sometimes

Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? The Batman

Do you like long or short hair? Short + curly/wavy

Can you name all 50 states of America? No

Favorite school subject? English

Extrovert or Introvert? I'm like an extrovert in the sense that people are what give me energy but I'm not very outgoing?

Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope

What makes you nervous? Being alone in public

Are you scared of the dark? Not exactly

Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Nope

Are you ticklish? Sadly yes

Have you ever started a rumor? Don't think so

Have you ever been in a position of authority? Nopeeee

Have you ever drank underage? Yep

Have you ever done drugs? Yep (I crashed out)

Who was your first real crush? His names Miles and I still have an Uber big thing for him (I've liked him since the 4th grade)

How many piercings do you have? I only have my ears piercee

Can you roll your Rs?“ Nope

How fast can you type? Like mediumish

How fast can you run? I'm a slow runner

What color is your hair? Brown with blonde highlights

What color is your eyes? Bluey gray

What are you allergic to? Nothin

Do you keep a journal? Yep!

What do your parents do? My mom is a cleaner and my dad is a physical therapist

Do you like your age? Kinda just wish I had more control over my life

What makes you angry? My dad lol

Do you like your own name? Yep! I think Sadie's a pretty name :)

Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Yep! I like the names Delaney and Charlotte for girls and James for a boy

Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I want 2 girls and 1 boy

What are you strengths? I'm good at being fun and spontaneous

What are your weaknesses? I'm not great at talking to people I don't know and often don't really catch social cues

How did you get your name? My mom came up with it

Were your ancestors royalty? Nope

Do you have any scars? Yep!

Color of your bedspread? It's like white with little flowers on it

Color of your room? Tan (Not by choice but my mom won't let me paint it)

#q&a questions

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louissatturi · 1 year ago

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I will talk about my hatchetfield family oc's

Starting with the oldest one

Rosabella Butterfly ~

She is a 25 year old black woman, she is very dramatic and Bisexual and absolutely loves musicals, she works at Miss Retro (depending on the timeline she owns the thing) and she also participate in the starlight theater, sometimes acting sometimes being a voluntear, she seems to nome have a family and doses't talk much about hed past, she is dating li for some time (5 years) and loves them dearly, she also has powers, she can change her appearance and she has used it before, she also has time powers but she never uses them at least not anymore

Dean Li ~

They are a 23 year old chinese heritage non-binary lesbian that uses all pronouns, they are a bit stoic since they have social anxiety and they work as security in the lake side mall (or the ccrp depeding on the show), they are besties with ziggy and also have super powers, control of metals and super strength but she beraly uses her metal powers

Bean Li-Hwang ~

it's a 18 year old chinese-korean girl that is the younger sister/cousin of Li (it's complicated) she is very shy and quiet and kinda of a nerdy prude, she studies at hatchetfield high and likes to hang out with grace chastidy (clearly it isn't a crush or anything) and sometimes works as a nanny for Sheila young and baby-sits sherman (she is very uncomfortable with the situation but money is money and she likes to have it) she also has powers, she can control her voice and make it identical to other or super loud this is why she is super shy

Doyle Drew-

a non-binary white he/they 18 year old that loves misterys and photography, he is kinda angry and emo but is a cinnamoroll on the inside, he studies on hatchetfield high with bean (in the tgwdlm and forever and always timeline he studies in sycamore high) and likes to smoke at the old waylon's place sometimes he also has powers! He can see the future and the past when toutching objects and people, this is why he generaly uses gloves

Shelly Barros -

It's a 13 year old brazilian girl that studies and is best friends with hannah foster (at least shelly thinks they are besties) she is a "exchange student" and loves colors, rainbows and painting she also has powers but absolutely HATES them, she can manipulate, consume other people's fear, she really avoids anything scary so to not see those stuff

Mindy White-

She is a nine year old Brown girl that has intense eyes (one blue and the other being green) she is quite cynical and sarcastic to the standards of a 9 year old, she dosen't have friends her age so Rosabella forces her to hang out with Tim Houston, she also has many powers, most of them unkwon, she has the avarege mind powers and she also can see and talks with webby sometimes, she really likes webby

#hatchetfield #hatchetverse #hatchetfield oc #team starkid #starkid #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #nightmare time #black friday #black friday starkid #black friday musical

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blobracing · 1 year ago

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1) Star Wars: From the Adventures of Luke Skywalker

Featuring gay Wormie lore, Alan Dean Foster's sharktooth earring, and the earnest adventuresome spirit of late 70s scifi.

So, this one feels a little weird to start out on, because of all the Star Wars stories there are to know, A New Hope is probably THE one folks know. Not a lot of new ground to tread. Wookieepedia has a whole list of differences between the movie and the book, so that won’t be my main focus– also, it strikes me as kind of tedious to be like “ummmm achtsually in the movie the callsign of the stormtrooper that Luke is impersonating while infiltrating the Death Star is TK-421, NOT THX-3118” for the next (checks watch) two hundred novels. Instead, I want to look at the author, things I found funny and cool, and how effective it is as an adaptation.

Here’s a quick overview of Star Wars: From the Adventures of Luke Skywalker AKA A New Hope:

Whoa, written by George Lucas? No way dude, ghostwritten by Alan Dean Foster. More on him later.

Wait, didn’t ANH come out in 1977? Yes! This came out a year before, and seems to be based on the script, rather than the finalized film.

Lowkey... kinda silly goofy!

THE AUTHOR

You may note that George Lucas gets billed as the author of this first novel, presumably as a clarity thing, but it’s very much written by Alan Dean Foster. You may know him from beefing with Disney about unpaid royalties in 2021 or for his goofy ahh take on the Rise of Skywalker script that Jenny Nicholson covered. I met him first as a grade school kid picking up Splinter of the Mind’s Eye and for the first time knowing what critical derision felt like. (Guess what’s next on the list! 🤪 ) For whatever it’s worth, I’d say he’s an industry legend, but from the adaptations I’ve seen him do, I think ANH is probably perfect for his strengths, whereas I felt like I was reading his Alien adaptation through a thick reduction sauce of Flash Gordon vibes.

That actually works perfectly here with ANH: it’s supposed to be a little swashbuckly, a hero’s adventure in the classic sense, inheriting cultural cues from scifi comics and pulpy novels. It feels retro in a way that made me feel fond and almost nostalgic for a time I didn’t live through, but also nostalgic about the kind of wonder and mystery that Star Wars held for me as a kid. It’s earnest.

Further improving my mood, I just saw this picture of Mr. Foster wearing a sick fucking earring.

FUN TIDBITS

Not really sure how else to categorize these: they’re things I noticed and earmarked as I was reading that felt like fun trivia, something to talk about, or gave me a sensible chuckle.

(with the cadence of welcoming Norm into Cheers) WORMIE! This fun fact circulates around Tumblr every now and again, but in this novelization (arguably the movie as well) Luke is characterized as an overeager little twink who hates farming and is always kicking up a fuss in the local young adults dive claiming to have seen space battles or things way too exciting to ever happen in a backwater like Anchorhead. For reasons totally unaddressed and unexplained, his nickname is Wormie. Imagining how he got that is now my favorite brain screensaver.

Right when you think ah, that was a fun thing that happened, I’m sure we’re done with delightful Luke trivia, Biggs shows up. If you’re new to Biggs Darklighter lore, he’s Luke’s childhood friend who leaves first to join the Imperial Academy and then defects to the Rebellion– and also bites it attacking the Death Star later in the movie. That backstory is cut in the movie, but exists in the script and the novel, and I was delighted to run into it. I truly can’t emphasize enough the Slightly Older Cool Friend Who Moved Out Of Town And Is Now Living His Gay Truth And Just Came Back To Say Goodbye To His Hometown Not-Really-Boyfriend Because The Relationship Could Never Be Formal And Is Confusing In The Way Of First Love Entwined Inexorably With Feelings Of Brotherhood And Also Now Saying Goodbye vibes. Thankfully, I don’t have to describe it: it exists as a deleted scene and you can watch it for yourself. Mark Hamill couldn’t be cuter if he tried.

Alan Dean Foster (it doesn’t feel right if I don’t say the whole name) has a hell of a way with words– and he’s also in an interesting position where the Star Wars trend/rule of using in-universe comparisons doesn’t yet apply. Character descriptions are usually fairly light, but he comes for Tarkin’s throat with this one:

“The nearest to Tagge was a thin, hatchet-faced man with hair and form borrowed from an old broom and the expression of a quiescent piranha.”

Another issue with the book pre-dating the movie (and likely some versions of the script) are that iconic lines are altered or different:

[Leia’s message stored within R2 is playing for the first time] “Obi-wan Kenobi,” the voice implored huskily, “help me! You’re my only remaining hope.” A burst of static dissolved the face momentarily. Then it coalesced again, and once more the voice repeated, “Obi-wan Kenobi, you’re my only remaining hope.”

Like famed haute couture designer Miku Hatsune says, take one thing off before you leave the house. “Remaining”? C’mon.

This:

Luke doesn’t know what ducks are, but did once have a dog. He’s randomly thinking about the dog later as they’re about to leave Tatooine. (“Oddly, Luke was thinking of a dog he had once owned when an immensely powerful something wrenched at the ship’s hull with the strength of a fallen angel.”) It always feels like missing a step on the stairs when you realize that if this lore had made the cut we’d have gotten like a four issues long comics run about Luke’s dog having kid-friendly adventures and at least one “the camera lingers on a dog in the alleyway of Mos Espa…” moment in the Boba Fett series.

Chewbacca is written as having one, singular line of dialogue:

“This way,” the Wookie grunted– at least, it sounded something like that to Luke.

Of course there’s Greedo in the cantina scene, Han shoots first but the dialogue is a lot less cool– more egregiously, later there’s a scene where Jabba shows up and he’s just a guy. He’s literally just a guy.

This is another deleted scene you can still see on Youtube – he’s just a guy. I grew up with the versions of the original trilogy without any digital alterations, so I never saw Jabba in any form until ROTJ. Still can’t believe he’s just, like… a guy in this version. I see that guy at Dunkins every day.

Mr. Alan Dean Foster does occasionally go hard, never let it be said I don’t also see him doing things like this:

“You sense only a part of the force, Darth,” Kenobi murmured with the assurance of one to whom death is merely another sensation, like sleeping or making love or touching a candle. “As always, you perceive its reality as little as a utensil perceives the taste of food.”

Some little prose bits that would seem nigh-unthinkable– the Force isn’t really capitalized at all. There’s like, once instance of it being capitalized but is otherwise just the force. The Death Star is also not referred to by name, and is instead just “the battle station.” (Also droids are ’droids, and there’s at least one ’puter which rendered me incapable of saying anything else for at least five minutes.)

“Luke was then treated to a sight unique in his experience, unique in most men’s. Several rebel technicians walked up to Artoo Detoo, positioned themselves around him, and gently hoisted him in their arms. This was the first, and probably the last time he would ever see a robot being carried respectfully by men.”

HEY UHHHH, WHAT THE FUCK

We don’t have time to unpack all that.

In the final ceremony scene where Leia is putting medals on everyone, he doesn’t… call them medals.

“She placed something heavy and golden around Solo’s neck, then Chewbacca’s–having to strain to do so– and finally around Luke’s.”

And then it just goes on– why don’t we call them medals? Was it just “something heavy and golden” in the script? Were they going to dream up some kind of space medals but hadn’t committed to it? My only recourse is to imagine she's gently bestowing "1pc Iced Jesus Piece Pendant Large HIP HOP Style Big Crystal Jesus Piece Pendant Necklace Chain For Men Hip Hop" from temu on the heroes of the Rebellion.

SUCCESS AS AN ADAPTATION

Is it successful? I’d honestly say hell yeah. It walks a line between believing in itself and taking itself the appropriate amount of seriously, without going overboard. Alan Dean Foster’s prose works well in this specific instance– even some of the goofier comparisons or word choices don’t feel like speed bumps, because ANH ultimately reads to me as a movie that wants you to have fun.

In the color photos section of the novel, Georgie actually says this: “[...] I’d make a film so rooted in imagination that the grimness of everyday life would not follow the audience into the theater. In other words, for two hours they could forget. I’m trying to reconstruct a genre that’s been lost and bring it to a new dimension so that the elements of space, fantasy, adventure, suspense and fun all work and feed off each other. So in a way, STAR WARS is a movie for the kid in all of us.”

Ultimately, the adaptation I think is kind of the purest possible emotional translation of that intent for ANH– it feels very one-to-one. All of the potential, adventure, unknowns in the movie are here in the script, and there’s a sense that this really is just a small window in a very big universe. It makes total sense as a predecessor to the EU’s spirit of exploration and weirdness, and also makes sense in a way that myths are made out of people who don’t know how important they are in the moment. It feels crazy to look at the road ahead and know we’re going to be spending so much time following freakin’ Wormie on his path to demi-godhood.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Should you read it? If you’ve got spare time and are in the mood, sure. It’s not going to blow your tits clean off, but it was fun.

Was it successful as an adaptation AND as scifi alone? Honestly, resoundingly as an adaptation. It’s hard for me to be objective about it as a standalone thing since the movie is probably engraved into my genetic code at this point.

What do you think happened to Luke’s dog? I’m gonna be real, Tuskens probably got him.

NEXT TIME:

Star Wars: Splinter of the Mind’s Eye, by Alan Dean Foster

#star wars #sweu read #a new hope #star wars expanded universe #alan dean foster #book post

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trashquisitor-shirozora · 2 years ago

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Hi I was wondering if you had any music preference headcanons for Star Wars characters? (I guess in a modern AU kinda way, since the only in universe music I know of is jizz lol) I have strong feelings about Luke loving country and folk (farm boy), and also like weird synth electric stuff that he would meditate to. I’m still torn on Din, whether its funnier if he secretly loves pop or if he has absolutely no knowledge of any music outside really niche Madalorian classics. I think Leia would tell people she only listened to classical but actually hates it and loves really aggressive punk and metal. Han doesn’t care as long as he can tap his toes to it. Grogu only loves music that everyone else hates because he thrives on chaos.

I must confess, I don't put as much time into these kinds of headcanons as i maybe should, not that I'd know what I can offer. But the first thing I thought when I saw your ask, Anon, was Din putting on some music for Grogu because he keeps demanding it and the people he's towing along expect some kids' music like "Baby Shark" (sorry, it's in your head now, I don't make the rules here) and instead he starts blasting heavy metal and Grogu is headbanging along like there's no tomorrow.

I also maybe committed the crime of giving Din the same habits that Dean Winchester had, aka he likes collecting certain genres of older music as mixtapes and CDs and he won't give them up. Some kind of mix of classic rock, soft rock, and adult alternative.

I wonder how Luke would feel about southern gothic, which is my favorite genre of country. I am 100000% down with the idea of him listening to retro synthwave/vaporwave and rocking out to EDM while kicking Imperial ass. I could see Leia being real big on punk rock and the early 2000s pop rock (??? idk if that's the right genre, I'm useless about this shit), and mixing it up with classical music. Han feels like an indie rock guy. Bit folksy, bit of a good strong beat, something he and Chewie could vibe to while smuggling their way through the galaxy. Idk, I'm just spitballing right now lol.

(Artoo is the source and enabler of Grogu's taste in music but you didn't hear it from me)

#shirozora awkwardly responds to asks #the mandalorian #star wars #music headcanons to pass the time #except i have no time i need to do so much shit right now oh god oh fuck

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spookfished · 3 months ago

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media roundup march-jul

this is my review backlog from when i was like getting ground into the ground working at a summercamp lol. ..if my thoughts are really short i probably just wrote it

NOTE FROM WHEN I STARTED THIS IN LIKE JULY: hey guys whats up! i was like "during spring break im going to read so much!" then i had to 'apply' for 'jobs' :( also i was playing so many games (not umineko though. sorry rokkenjima-ers). then like 5 months passed! woops. now i am a college graduate and unemployed 👍so now i have plenty of time to do things like this lol. making a post for these and then for everything in august. skipping the music section also bc i dont feel like it. some things really worth spotlighting were small victories, wrath goddess sing, and honk for jesus.

books:

what feasts at night by t kingfisher: horror novella (?) about a scary house and an ex-soldier. i liked reading ursula vernons reading as always, but this was a bit too short for me to really get a feeling for anything… it also didnt have the same visceral horror as their previous book (what moves the dead) so i was a bit disappointed :(

cathay by ezra pound: a book of tang dynasty poetry translated by notable contemporary poet (and infamous fascist) ezra pound. ts eliot once said that cathay "invented" chinese poetry in the mind of the western reader, which is weird bc he didnt speak a lick of chinese at the time. umm tldr i didnt like this book but i did write 750 words of review including a translation of my own (NOTE FROM TODAY IN OCTOBER: I WROTE THIS LONG ENOUGH AGO FOR CLASS THAT ITS ACTUALLY KINDA EMARRASSING NOW SO PLS BE NICE) if youre interested in that kind of thing lol

wrath goddess sing by maya deane: retelling of achilles where she is a trans woman. dathomira's review of this book can speak more for it than i ever could (and also its been a couple months..) but i really really enjoyed this book. go check it out!

a clear and muddy loss of love by please don't laugh: f/f webnovel. qiyan agula, female prince of the grass plains, has sworn her revenge on the nangong emperor after his reign killed her family and annexed her country. she ends up engaged to the emperor's daughter, nangong jingnu--but their bond makes it harder and harder for qiyan to enact her promised vengance. vibes wise, its kinda like baru cormorant but tilted way farther towards romance than political intrigue. i really loved this!! the way their relationship grows together…. qiyans gender fuckery…. the length of a webnovel really lets you sink into jingnus character development--its such a turnaround that i think it would be hard to do somewhere else. yay i love baihe

year of rice and salt by kim stanley robinson: what if instead of 30% of europe dying from the black plague, 99% of europe died? how would that shape the centuries to come? also, buddhism is here. this book is really well done and really well researched. the audiobook is reaaally good to listen to while travelling--the narrator, uh, doesnt pronounce everything the best but has this really velvety voice that i loved. i had a good time listening to this while driving cross-country (i only did a little of the driving lol) but fell off a little bit after that. also, if anyone knows any books that are more just like the first part let me know!

videogames:

ultrakill: YEAHHH ULTRAKILL HELL IS FULL BLOOD IS FUEL ETC. ok if youre involved in like the trans indie gaming community at all, youve probably? at least heard a teeny bit about ultrakill, which is a fast-paced mega-violent retro FPS about being a robot descending throug hell and KILLING!! i was really unsure about if id like this personally (jumpy, didnt like ovewatch or most fps ive played) but like. dude. ive sunk so many hours into ultrakill this month. im literally on the last layer rn (the game is currently in early access, but theres plenty to do). people call this game overwhelming, but i guess ive felt that since its a single player game its way Less overwhelming than something like um, ovewatch again lol. ultrakill's blood-to-heal mechanic encourages the player to get close and dirty, and there are tons of mechanics that sound as cool as they feel--punching bullets back at the enemy, ricocheting coins into weak points, etc. also gabriel is here!!! i like him a lot :3 theres a free demo here if it seems like its up your alley

yakuza 0: a brawler game set in glitzy 80's japan, following kazuma kiryus rise to power within the yakuza--at least i think thats whats going on? after all, hes the protagonist of like 5 other games also called "yakuza." this game glories in violence and materialism (you use money instead of xp to upgrade your abilities) and it has a gritty story full of sad-eyed men smoking, backstabbing, and losing everything. yakuzas one of those series that kinda hangs around in the background with a couple people Absolutely Obsessed with it, so its nice to see it live up to the hype. im only on chapter 3 (out of 16?) so far, but im really enjoying it :3 of course, yakuza is famous for having lots of minigames but ive only sampled a couple of them so i dont feel like i can really comment on that yet. some of the cutscenes are kinda long but the voice acting is really good…. i usually do stuff like make my bed or fold laundry while im watching lol. id recommend it so far :3

neon white: scratches the ultrakill speedrunning itch but if the only part of ultrakill was speedrunning and the gritty visual element was replaced by like, smooth apple-style celestial gloss (theres no ground pound even!). in ultrakill you get a beautiful array of tools (guns) to solve the same problem (killing a guy) in multiple ways but with neon white theres essentially one perfectly bite sized (most missions are 30 seconds or less) solution and you just have to get as close to it as you can. brought down of course by the extremely corny writing and voice acting, which at least has the decency to be sincere--it grew on me, but not by much. having cutscenes interrupt the mission sets was also deeply frustrating. IT FUCKS THE FLOW, MAN. anyways still a really really good game with an amazing soundtrack that i would recommend for any first person platform likers or speedrunners

rabbit and steel: just a really fun mmo-type (GCD-based) game! for like, wow/ffxiv raiders who wish those games had fewer cutscenes to sit through haha or potential raiders who dont want to put together a static…

ghost trick: afaik, shu takumi's only standalone mystery game. a ghost detective investigates the mystery behind his death by possessing objects and tricking on them, ghost style. um the ghost trick fandom is very strident about playing spoilerless, and i do think that was definitely good! some of the twists here are pretty crazy. but, like, i think that insistence made me think that ghost trick was going to be "lifechangingly good" instead of just "very good" -- which it is! the puzzles are very clever and fun and the writing is, of course, really funny, charming, and heartfelt. but i couldnt help but be just a little bit disappointed? still a good game though.

balatro: poker game where all the rules are malleable--for the right price. dude balatro made it so much harder for me to pass my finals. really good game if u are a numbers type of person (or maybe really bad) i think i would have sunk a LOT more time into this if pikmin hadnt come around

tv/movies:

dear ex (rewatch): i already talked about this on one of my [other posts] but rewatching it was good :3 i cried again

brave bang bravern: bravern is like… a pastiche of the mecha genre? that mixes like, gritty war mecha shows with fluffy sentai-like shows that ultimately ends up having a lot of heart and sincerity. and also gay people?? idk i really liked it but i think u kinda have to be mecha-pilled at least a little bit already for sure

shogun: woops i forgot to finish watching this. well its a drama about this british sailor who shipwrecks on japan in the middle of a power grab (by tokugawa) really fun! unfortunately i frequently do not have the attention span for hour long episodes unless someone makes me do it

honk for jesus: drama? about the wife of a megachurch pastor who is trying to stage his big return. about what she gets from staying with him, what she endures and what she inflicts on others as a result. (also, image!) really interesting to watch as someone who knows very little about megachurches, with some fantastic acting

life is short girl walk on: sort of an anti-romcom? about one girls wild night out. soo so so pretty it really captures when youre like out really late with your more adventurous friends and youre like wow literally anything could happen rn. definitely worth a watch 👍

challengers: bro all the filmheads saw challengers its the tennis threesome movie. its really good enough said

i saw the tv glow: i watched this movie on a shitty tv interrupted by gambling ads like three times and it still ripped my dick off. man. not a lot to say about this one bc i already talked about it a bunch with other people but i think everyone should watch it

marcel the shell with shoes on: slice of life movie about, well, a living shell. with shoes on. actually really really good?? i was so surprised (the trailer is like accurate but at the same time makes it seem kinda hallmark twee) and like it is a little bit cutesy but not in a way that diminishes the movie itself or its messaging.. i think it being pretty offbeat and also the internet elements (?) also helped balance this. has the pikmin element of "wow being small really helps you to marvel at the world's beauty in a new way" while also being about connection and grief.

the bad guys: animal heist movie. its pretty good even if i don't like akwafina very much at all. fun and soothingly predictable with nice art

podcasts:

small victories: small victories is a slice of life/drama podcast about marisol, a recovering drug addict trying to put her life back together--and it's really going to happen this time, for sure! marisol has such a clear and engaging voice (and her voice actor is so great!) that you can't help but root for her no matter what, even when she messes up horrendously. it made me go like this o_o 🫢 alone in my room like i was eavesdropping on a breaking up couple at a party

thanks for reading if you did! or even if you didnt? anyways this has been stewing in my notes for multiple months. be free

#txt #media post

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jvnkless · 1 year ago

Note

I CAN ANSWER THIS!!!! somewhat.

depends on what you mean by “retro” since that term can fluctuate depending on the current era but lets say you’re thinking of “anything before 1999 plus maybe some stuff from the early 2000s”. (I am so sorry if this isn’t what you were thinking of but I AM STICKING TO MY GUNS!! And to generally what I know.)

Sam is…

- Half-Life 2. There’s a lot of songs on this soundtrack so I’ll give you the highlights. The Innsbruck Experiment, Brane Scan, Tracking Device,

- Couple of songs from the original Half-Life also fits a bit. Drums & Riffs & Electric Guitar Ambience come to mind.

Dean is…

- The original DOOM, baby! (Plus the second game) I Sawed The Demons, Intermission from Doom, Bye Bye American Pie, & Running From Evil are a couple of my personal picks for Dean.

- Some songs from the Wild Woody OST could also work for Dean, me thinks. Songs like Minotaur Maze, Meanie Technoweenie, and, hell, even the Title Screen are silly yet very Dean-like to me.

Cas is…

- Silent Hill 1 & 2. Okay, maybe not all the songs but some of them. Songs like Claw Finger, Tears Of…, Null Moon, & Alone In The Town give me that mysterious otherworldly yet melancholic feel that Cas has.

- Quick shoutouts to Overdose Delusion, RE4’s Save Room Theme, and this song from Yume Nikki that also give me similar Cas vibes.

Also as an aside, I think Cas would fucking LOVE Street Fighter 3’s soundtrack you don’t understand I feel so strongly about this. Cas canonically likes hip-hop & rap music he would love this soundtrack so much YOU CANT FIGHT ME ON THIS.

Jack is…

- As bizarre as this sounds, the LSD Dream Emulator soundtrack. There’s a strange otherworldly curiosity that comes off this soundtrack that I feel fits Jack perfectly within his different eras. That and I just think EDM & DNB in general fit Jack for some reason. Just trust me on this one.

- Yume Nikki’s soundtrack is also very Jack-like. Songs like Shield-Folk World, Famicon, & Toriningen Party stand out to me.

- Quick shoutouts to Use-Picnic, Shop ‘til You Drop & Spunky. Also the Zombies Ate My Neighbors OST idk it’s funny & kinda Jack-like what do you want from me. ALSO KIRBY… FUCK.

What retro video game soundtracks would you give each of team free will?

I...am the wrong person for this ask. I cannot even begin to tell you how wrong I am for this ask.

Pass to moots.

#jvnk posts #PLEASE… REBLOG THIS… I SPENT MULTIPLE DAYS ON THIS… PLS…#bro I’m ngl… I ran out of ideas for Sam… I AM SO FUCKING SORRY 😭😭😭#if I come up with anything Sam-like I’ll add it to the post for now it is what it is.

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rizlowwritessortof · 8 years ago

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SPN Valentines Fic Challenge

@winchestersandwordprocessors - Chris, thanks for organizing this challenge!

My assignment was: Dean/reader + semi-public or risk of getting caught. This turned out a little different than I thought, I kind of failed at the ‘reader’ portion - I’m sorry, Chris! I could just hear Dean in my head, so I went with it. This is from Dean’s POV, hope you enjoy!

God, this fuckin’ job sucks.

I mean, I know sometimes we have to do things we don’t like to get the information we need. But we’ve been working at this broken-down piece-of-shit carnival for a week now. I’m so goddamn sick of pickin’ up people’s trash and cleaning up after sick kids.

Sam’s being a pain in the ass, too. I mean, I’m dealing with Dad’s death. As much as you can deal with something like that. He’s all up in my grill about my feelings, and all I wanna do is kill something. This damn clown/monster/whatever the hell it is. I just wanna kill something that deserves it.

Ooooh, or something more fun. There she is again. That little piece of heaven that’s been hanging around here for the last couple of days. She’s been pretty damn friendly, too. Had her coming on my fingers in the haunted house last night, she’s just sweet. But I’d like to really get into her, if you know what I mean. God, she’s wearing those little short shorts again, and she’s got a set on her that makes my mouth water. Wonder if she’s feeling friendly tonight, too…

“Hey, sweetheart.” Aww, she’s blushing, looking up at me all innocent. “How’s it going? You wanna – hang out? I’m off duty in 3 – 2 – now.”

So I’m ditching this stupid jacket, and this trash bag, I’ll pick it up in the morning. I lace my fingers through hers, and we go for a little stroll through the carnival, mostly closed down now. She’s kind of shy with me, but we’re chatting and she’s warming up just fine. So I pull her behind one of the tents and kiss her, nice and easy. She tastes like summer, strawberry wine and cotton candy, the kind of girl I wish I could really be with. Best I can do is pretend for a while. She’s into it, though, now that she’s over those shy, awkward moments, and damn – she can kiss. And she’s got her hand on my dick. So there’s that. Where can we get some privacy? Huh. Now, there’s an idea...

“Hey, know what? We should take some pictures. In the photo booth. You want to?” I whisper in her ear, and she gives a soft little giggle, shaking her head yes. Awesome. It’s pretty dark over there, and not too many people wandering around now. Perfect.

I pull her into the booth, making sure the curtain closes, and pull out my wallet. I’ve got a few ones in there, so we’re all set. While I’m at it, I tuck that condom into my front pocket. If she’s up for it, I definitely am. So hard I could cut glass right now.

I slip a couple of bills into the machine and we do the usual cheesy stuff, girl on my lap, giving her a little kiss, you know the drill. Before I put more money in, I kick things up a notch, kiss her like I mean it, get my hand up between those soft thighs, and before I know it, she’s rubbing against my fingers, those little whining noises getting muffled in our kiss. She’s so wet, I can feel it through her clothes, and damn, I want a taste.

One thing at a time, though. She’s all soft and warm, just enough to fill my hand, and when I reach back to undo her bra, she doesn’t even react. I pull her tight little t-shirt up, and her bra along with, and there she is in all her glory, those perky little nips just begging for attention. She’s gasping and panting while I suck and lick at them, my hand still going to town between her legs, and I stop for a minute to look at her. God, women – I love ‘em. So damn beautiful when they’re lost in the feeling of being touched, and nothing I love more than putting that look on her face.

When she looks back at me, I just stare at her for a minute, then lean in to kiss each nipple. “Baby, will you let me get a picture of them? You’re gorgeous.” She goes all over rosy, her lip caught between her teeth, and then she nods. Yes. I put another dollar in, and I lean in, flicking my tongue over her again, then get out of the way of the camera. I grab the shots, and I can’t help the little moan in my throat. Fuck, she’s hot.

I turn and kiss her again, harder this time, and she’s really squirming against me now. So I pull back, take a tiny nip at that plump little bottom lip, and give her my best puppy dog eyes. “Can I taste you, sweetheart?” I ask her, stroking over her pussy so she understands exactly what I’m talking about. “I’m dying to see how sweet you really are.”

She’s shaking, she’s so gone, and then she nods, quick, avoiding looking at me. I undo her shorts, pull them and her soaked panties down around her ankles and off one foot, then kneel in front of her in that tiny space. She smells like heaven. I pull her leg up, propping her foot on my shoulder, and give her a smile, then freeze. I hear footsteps, giggling, coming closer and we both just hold our breath.

“You wanna take a picture with me?”

“God, no! Can we just go home?” The boyfriend, or husband, whoever the asshole was, just keeps on walking, and the woman follows along.

“You never want to do anything fun. I don’t think you really love me...” The whining words fade away, and I smile up at my girl.

“Coast is clear!” I whisper, and then I lean in to run my tongue over her, and damn, she’s just as sweet as I thought she’d be. She gets over her shyness fast, pretty soon she’s got her fingers tangled in my hair and she’s breathing fast and hard, just rubbing herself on my face like her life depends on it. She clamps her own hand over her mouth when she comes, I can hear her smothered scream, and she just quivers around my tongue.

I get up and sit beside her again, and I sweep the hair from her face, giving her a smile. “You’re not a virgin, are you, baby?” She shakes her head, still shaking, and I kiss her, real gentle. “You wanna…?” I ask, soft, leaving it up to her, bringing her hand down to where my cock is trying like hell to swell its way right through my zipper. “I’ve got a condom, I believe in being safe.” She nods, and I undo my jeans, what a damn relief, I thought I was gonna explode in there.

She watches in the dim light while I roll the rubber on, she looks a little scared. “It’s okay, sweetheart, if you don’t want to. I won’t be mad. I promise.”

“I want to,” she whispers, reaching over to touch me, and holy shit. I need to be inside her like right now. I look at her, a few dollars in my hand, and she nods, her cheeks flushed and her eyes all bright, so I feed the machine. I pull her close, her back against my chest, her thighs spread over mine, and help her guide herself down onto me. Fuck, she is hot, and tight, and it’s taking everything I’ve got not to blow my load. Once she gets settled, she’s all snuggled up against me, my cock buried in her deep, I lean up and push the button on the machine.

And then I move. My hands are on her hips, holding her while I fuck up into her, and damn, does it feel good. I could die right now and I’d be a happy man. She is making soft little noises that could make a grown man beg for mercy, and I seriously don’t know how long I’m gonna last. The machine is snapping shot after shot as she rides me, and I reach down for her clit because I’m gonna blow and I want her to come with me. She lets out a cry loud enough that I put my hand over her mouth, rubbing her little nub for all I’m worth, and she fucking squeezes me so hard I almost yell. It feels so damn good, I buck up into her hard two or three more times, and I fucking explode so hard my ears are ringing. I fucking throb and throb and for a minute I don’t think it’ll ever stop, but it finally does, and I just kind of collapse underneath her, holding on to her because she goes limp, too. Her head is lolling back on my shoulder, and we’re both breathing hard, our hearts pounding so loud I’m surprised somebody can’t hear us.

Eventually, we move. I help her get her clothes straightened out, toss the condom outside quick, get myself back together. I stand up, pull her right into my arms and kiss her, sweet and slow. She deserves to feel like she’s special. Because she is.

I walk her to the edge of the lot, holding her hand, the pictures all shoved in my pocket. When I kiss her goodbye, I ask if she wants some of them, but she shakes her head no. “No, wait,” she says softly. “Can I keep the first set?”

“Sure.” I pull the photo strips from my pocket, handing her the innocent ones, the ones she can look at without blushing.

“You won’t show them to anyone...” she’s nibbling on her lip, a worried look on her face.

“Sweetheart, these are all mine. Nobody’ll ever see them but me, some lonely night when I just need a good memory to get me through. I swear. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll give them to you right now and you can get rid of them all. Your choice.” I give her a kiss, let her know that it really would be okay.

She shakes her head. “No, it’s okay. I trust you, Dean.” She stands up on her tiptoes to kiss me this time, so damn sweet my teeth ache, and I wish… but, yeah...

So she goes, and I watch her walk up the street, wave at her when she turns to smile.

Yeah. It was one hell of a good night.

@saenalife @salvachester @misswhizzy @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog@geeklibrarian@leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @aprofoundbondwithdean @mamapeterson@mrswhozeewhatsis@littlegreenplasticsoldier @sleep-silent-angel@darcia22@winchesterprincessbride@jessica-bones-winchester @ellen-reincarnated1967 @eyes-of-a-disney-princess@deangirl96@iamflanneltrash @deanslittleangel2y5 @melanie451 @juliaspnlover @lovin-ackles @spectaculacular-sammy @dyingforlove1992@bookchic20 @jodyri @selma-jean@avasmommy224 @shadowlightforcast@tonifish @savingapplepie-eatingthings @angelofwinchester17@kittenofdoomage @masked-maiden42 @lean-mean-deanwinchester@ericuhlorain @undecided-garden@ceeceewinchester@typicalweirdbookworm@purplecocopops @feelmyroarrrr@callmesweetheartifyoumeanit @youtoldalie @tanithlowisabamf @ch3353y1 @deandoesthingstome @jxackles @nerdwholikesword @soivebuiltupaworldofmagic @kreweofimp @deansbaekaz2y5 @trippleberrydeanpie @gabavaldman @chaos-and-the-calm67 @darkx143@disassociativedogma @ioanashalala@jencharlan @deansthirst @randomvlogstuff @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms @dorky-and-i-know-it @mischief-maker1 @hamartiamacguffin @winchestersandwordprocessors @percussiongirl2017

#SPNValentinesFicChallenge #winchestersandwordprocessors #the photo booth #mine #dean pov #dean smut #kinda retro dean #the kind of boy your mama warns you about #because she would have fallen for him too

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spockandawe · 2 years ago

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Book! Christmas gift book that needs to be mailed out posthaste! I know this is an iconic supernatural fic, but the sad truth is that I don't even know which one is sam and which is dean. Let me tell you, going in completely blind and catching snippets of story as you typeset this is a TRIP.

But I still wanted to really do justice to it with the decorative elements, because it's very loved, and it's a gift for someone who loves it. I wanted to go kinda retro, but not full retro, considering the time span of the story. And I wanted a balance of dignity and vibrancy, something striking without being too noisy. This fabric caught my eye, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to use a mirror line until I unfolded and ironed it last night, but let me tell you, I am DELIGHTED with how it came out :D

#crafts #bookbinding #twist and shout #supernatural

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fandom-hoarder · 2 years ago

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copy/pasting my live react i sent to @cordellwinchesterwalker

Watching TWin now. The opening has nice vibes but now I'm on the johnmary meetcute and it's...awk af

Goddd this girl's face is just claire i cannot

John and mom are ok so far. Nothin to write home about

This scene transition into the demon fight was sooo anticlimactic wtf

Ok i am SERIOUSLY side eyeing Mary's ability with demons. I feel like i need to watch the spn flashbacks again

Whyyyy is mary giving up all this fucking expositionnnnn

Why would you have an anti possession medallion that you have to HOLD instead of having it on your person on a necklace or something? Ffs🤦‍♀️

WHY are they introducing a scar we have never heard of before? We have SEEN John's arms

Goddd did the writers base mary on reincarnated mary and not watch the fucking flashbacks?

Why is the pacing boring af

John is not reading like a former marine that signed up illegally at all. A draftee that never wanted to go, maybe

Ohhh god it's the demon part from the trailer lmfao whyyyyy

I was sincerely hoping that was a thing that got cut for tone omg

At least they took out that ridiculous scooby reaction shot

But WHY THE FUCK would carlos have a newbie read the fucking exorcism?? It's not a normal thing to know how to fucking pronounce

I kinda like carlos just as a character and I'm on board for john/carlos already...

Sighhhhh not just the slutty bi stereotype but the flippant kind that can't be bothered to care about the other people they're slutting with? This is Not On. Make the slutty bi poly and compassionate i am fucking BEGGING people

Got a text from Jpop to stop yelling :/

This expositionnnnn is soooo ridiculously funny to me lmao

Is this accent for Latika the actress' real accent 🤔

Ok Carlos has had the best lines so far

"The only thing worse than how it starts for a hunter is how it ends"

Unfortunately i like Carlos' van a lot

Lol john/latika fakeout PUH-lease. AU where no one gets together how they're supposed to

So are they insinuating samuel knew about the fucking mol and never said anything or even looked for their compound while working with crowley? 🙄

Indiana jones vibes

Lmfao a commercial started as soon as the monster showed up but was that the afanc from bbc merlin lmao

Lmao already with the self sacrificing... first marine behavior

Convenient silver in his arm lmao

Plot twist: john becomes a loup-garou cuz he gets blood in his mouth

(Can't remember the lore rn)

(NOT THAT IT MATTERS HERE LOLOLOL)

So John's MOM knew too???? Wtf IS this?? I NEED more than the promise that everything will make sense by the end. I NEED THEM TO SAY SIKE THIS IS AU

I AM REBELLING AGAINST SWEETENED COFFEE JOHN. IF THAT'S WHAT HE DRANK SO WOULD DEAN AND SAM WOULD'NT EVEN IF HE HATED BLACK

IS JOHN SWITCHING TO BLACK COFFEE PART OF HIS CHARACTER'S JOURNEY😏😏😏

Goddddd PLEASE why does the styling look like 90s "retro 70s" fashion

Hahhhh ok, dean voice actually sounded like dean voice this time and thank fuck they didn't have that awful windy hair shot where he's unrecognizable. His gaze at the samulet-- i was expecting but OHH??? SO SAD LOOKING

I am making a HUGE LEAP here but what if sammy is missing and that's the only reason dean is trying to find out what happened lolol the akrida have him

#spn prequel #i...dk what other tags i want to use..this isn't exactly anti...#TWin crit #TWin spoilers #TWin (the cw)

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little-miss-maggie · 2 years ago

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Winchesters Pilot

I was rooting for Jensen and Danneel so hard for this show but baby boy no

Cons:

- the dialogue is terrible. Like cringey, predictable, overused lines, or just ??? Weird and odd. Some feels displaced like gen z slang is being deliberate fed into the script. It’s really hard to enjoy due to that

-the exposition dump is INSANE. They drop a ton of information very casually and don’t give characters enough time to process. Instead, they process in like 30 seconds and move on like no big deal.

-I’m sorry @ Jensen but the narrator aspect is cringe again. I think Dean didn’t need to be involved at all from a storytelling perspective. It weakens the show to lean in on a narrator to tell/explain. (As much as I could listen to Jensen talk all day lol)

-I’m the only person probably who thought dean’s closing line was weird and forced?? I cringed again 😬 like who reviewed these scripts oml

Pros:

- the color grading is cool, it looks a little retro

- the music! Such good picks

- it did have elements that reminded me of the original show

- The cinematography is actually visually interesting and creative

-bi character! ❤️

-soldier boy jokes lmao

-John and Mary are kinda cute

My hopes are not high but hey glad the premiere beat walker ✨just my take

#the winchesters #spn #supernatural #jensen ackles #the winchesters pilot #spn cast

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alicewonderlandthe1st · 3 years ago

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//helium playlist

I've been wanting to do this for a while, so here are some songs that gave me general Helium vibes and why I put them there!

Jenny by Beach Bunny - the lyrics in this song perfectly describe the conflict in Helium with the same 'upbeat but sad" vibe as the song itself

But if you want me, why can't we still be together? You've got problems, but I promise they'll get better We both know that I can't wait on you forever I still wonder if we're meant to be together

Got to Be Real by Cheryl Lynn - In the first chapter, it's mentioned that it's Retro Night at the bowling alley. I really wanted to find something retro to get into the story, so I found this! Ironically enough, it foreshadows Dream's inner conflict on whether his progress is fake or not.

Ooh, your love's for real now You know that your love is my love My love is your love Our love is here to stay

Dream by Shawn Mendes - before and during the airport scene I was reminded of this song. There's a feeling of hope and almost like holding your breath for what's to come

You're asleep in London I wish you were coming Back home to me, darling You're too far away Count back from one hundred Holding you is all I think about

8 by Billie Eilish - I feel that this captures Dream's helplessness and dejection to George being guarded with his emotions and thoughts.

I just never know how you feel Do you even feel anything?

You said, "Don't treat me badly" But you said it so sadly So I did the best I could Not thinking you would have left me gladly

boyfriend by Ariana Grande - I don't know if this makes sense but the beat gives the same feverish, personal vibe from heatwaves, while the lyrics are more centered around the mindset and problems in helium

Cause I know we be so complicated But we be so smitten, it's crazy I can't have what I want, but neither can you

I wanna kiss you (yeah), don't wanna miss you (yeah) But I can't be with you 'cause I got issues Yeah, on the surface, seem like it's easy Careful with words, but it's still hard to read me

Stress high when the trust low (mmm) Bad vibes, where'd the fun go? (Oh) Try to open up and love more (love more) Try to open up and love more

Bella Notte (Lady and the Tramp) - I was trying to find a well-fitting Disney song for chapter 7 and I think this song was absolutely darling. It gave such a magical, dreamy feeling while reading

Everybody Loves Somebody by Dean Martin - this can transition from Bella Notre since it has the same vibe

Everybody loves somebody sometime And though my dreams were overdue Your love made it all worth waiting For someone like you

As The World Falls Down by David Bowie - I found this song to be fitting for the late-night scenes and little moments where Dream and George interact. That dreamy feeling was there, y'know?

everytime by Ariana Grande - Dream really is helpless to George, what else can I say?

You get high and call on the regular I get weak and fall like a teenager Why, oh why does God keep bringing me Back to you?

I get drunk, pretend that I'm over it Self-destruct, show up like an idiot Why, oh why does God keep bringing me Back to you?

Melon and the Coconut by Glass Animals - As per Karl, "they're on their divorce arc"

Melon and the coconut are sittin' on the floor Coco said to Melly, "I can't do this anymore Everything we're doin' just feels fuckin' cold Everything we're shootin', that's just fake B-roll B-sides, killing time, filler that's all How did this happen when we were so close?"

YKWIM? by Yot Club - "You made it your responsibility when you send that text". It felt like time slowed when George said that. You could just feel the heavy pause and the hurt afterward.

Hey It's not like you've ever tried to stay Sometimes it seems like I'm in your way Well, that's how it seems Hey You know what I mean?

Love You, But I Need Another Year by Liza Anne - I wonder why George pushes Dream away a lot? Hopefully, we'll see soon, but before that here's a song that kinda describes George doing that.

You're sticking around but how can you stand it? I can't salvage your mind while I'm losing mine And nobody should have to deal with this But I need ya, I don't wanna leave ya

Stay here I know I love you but I need another year

Sparks by Coldplay - this song is just so devastatingly sad and mournful. Holding on to something that may never happen. “I’m happy with just this,” Dream confesses into George’s hair. It’s as honest as he’s ever been and his throat tightens because of it. “You could leave tomorrow, and I’d be happy with this.”

My heart is yours It's you that I hold on to Yeah, that's what I do

And I know, I was wrong But I won't let you down

Talk to You by Ricky Montgomery - they just really need to communicate lmao

I wish I could talk to you Pull my chair right up there next to you And talk to you

You're in my head more often than I want More often than I wanna tell you

Bored by Billie Eilish - This song is the epitome of when you keep giving and giving and putting in so much love and get nothing in return. In Dream's case, it's very much feeling like that.

Givin' you all you want and more Givin' you every piece of me I don't want love I can't afford I just want you to love for free Can't you see that I'm gettin' bored? Givin' you every piece of me Piece of me

Adore You by Harry Styles - this is very reminiscent of the last chapter (9). Even after expressing his love and putting his heart on his sleeve, dream doesn't expect anything back. “You don’t have to say anything,” Dream continues in a murmur. “I just wanted you to know.”

You don't have to say you love me You don't have to say nothing You don't have to say you're mine

Honey (ah) I'd walk through fire for you Just let me adore you

Shiver by Coldplay - "you see straight through me, don't you?" I LOVE THIS SO MUCH ! in helium, it's like the roles reversed and now George is the one seeing straight through Dream. Also, the "did you want me to change? well I changed for good" is like how george is displeased by dream changing, yet he's the reason dream decided to go to therapy and change.

So I look in your direction But you pay me no attention, do you? I know you don't listen to me 'Cause you say you see straight through me Don't you?

But on and on From the moment I wake To the moment I sleep I'll be there by your side Just you try and stop me I'll be waiting in line Just to see if you care

Oh, did you want me to change? Well I'd change for good And I want you to know that you'll always get your way And I wanted to say

Don't you shiver

Like I Want You by Gideon - this song reminds me of those scenes in some chapters when dream reminisces of the events in heatwaves, especially remembering his feelings. Then he comes back and is reminded how he can't have that, not like before.

Sometimes I wish you knew But I disguise the truth I say I'm happy but I'm still stuck on us, Does your mind play this game too? Think 'bout me and you I guess I'll just pretend Until it all makes sense,

See you face to face, I'm thinking 'bout the days we used to be But I can't make a scene, but I can't make it seem

Like I want you You Even if it's true

First Love / Late Spring by Mitski - george got some commitment issues.

So please hurry leave me I can't breathe Please don't say you love me

Looking Out for You by Joy Again - after everything (especially chapter 4) I feel that Dream would be frustrated with always feeling like he's walking on eggshells (yup that was intentional)

I guess I should stop Looking out for you Like I always do When will you Start looking out for me too Instead of leaving me staring at my shoes

Just the way you're glancing at me Something about you Just makes me feel guilty for Liking you

I might make a part 2 since I have so many songs queued. (Also know a lot of the songs are in Dream's pov I just relate more SORRY)

#helium #dnf #dreamnotfound #helium dnf #dnf fanfic #heat waves #dnf heat waves #helium playlist #helium fic #playlist #dnf playlist #dreamnotfound playlist

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writefightandflightclub · 4 years ago

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Trial by Fire (Part 1/3) Santiago “Pope” Garcia x GN reader

Summary: You’re finally introducing your new boyfriend to The Boys. It must be intimidating for your guy because, hello? Not only are they literally lethal, as well as infeasibly handsome, but they’re hella protective of you to boot. They want the best for you so, naturally, they make your guy run the gauntlet the whole evening. Santiago, though? Well. Given that he is secretly in love with you? Let’s just say he doesn’t handle the situation very well at all.

Genre / tropes: angst, friends to lovers, love confession.

Author’s note: I wasn’t planning on writing this (in fact I’m writing the opposite, where “Santi has a new girlfriend and you don’t take it well” as a series, loosely based around the 7 deadly sins); but, in the meatime, I wrote this to get back into the swing of things after a lil break. It’s just a quick one, but there will be a second and final part, if you want it! Let me know!

Word count: somehow, 4.4k.

Warnings: language, angst, best friends arguing, Santi being an asshole.

Rating: T

The boys aren’t being as awful as you had anticipated, at least. For the most part, they’re actually being pretty friendly, and although they’ve transitioned into grilling Dean about every aspect of his life, they are at least listening intently and smiling at his answers. All except for one fucker, of course; and, naturally, surprising no-one, the fucker misbehaving is one (1) Santiago “Pope” Garcia.

The group - the boys, yourself, and Dean- are huddled comfortably around the blazing warmth of the fire pit in Frankie’s yard. The dancing, oranged flames cut through the dark and cold of the crisp night, as you sit upwind of the smoke on scattered, mis-matched camp chairs.

Whilst the others are evidently enjoying the evening -faces painted with smiles, body language open and leaning-in to chat to Dean- that fucker Santi is leaning back in his chair, his jaw twitching in seeming aggravation, his arms folded, and his intense eyes needling your beau. In this dim light, with the firelight licking over the sharp planes of his face, he looks every bit like a trained killer about to leap out of the shadows and garotte someone. Well… a very petulant trained killer. His call sign should have been Mr. Grumpy Pants, you think idly.

What’s up with him this time?! you wonder.

He gets these moods sometimes. And, when it strikes him, he can be a little bit hostile - despite the fact he’s a puppy underneath it all. You had hoped that for once, maybe he would suck it up, and yet, your hopes had been in vain, it seems.

Every time Dean speaks, or touches you, or even laughs at another of the guys’ stories, Santi’s expression sinks further and further through layers of distaste; and, by this point, he’s eyeing Dean as though he’s a war criminal the squad have been sent to take-out. You half expect him to leap up and take down Frankie any second for fraternizing with “the enemy”, if you’re honest.

Truth be told, you’ve had just about enough of this. Your friend had better buck his ideas up, sharpish, or he’d be reminded very swiftly that you were Delta Force too.

For now, trying to ignore the bastard, you look back at Dean, and the sight of him in animated conversation with your buddies causes at least some of your aggravation to fall away. Things have been going well between you and Dean, even if you do say so yourself. Originally from Michigan, he now worked as a lecturer at a nearby music school. He was also a banjo musician in a bluegrass / synth power-pop mash-up of a band, which (sort of) explained his retro-inspired mop of brown hair and his thick dark moustache - majestic enough to rival Frankie’s. True, he wasn’t your usual type, but he was honest, and sweet and kind... Plus, he’d never killed anyone with his bare hands, which was rather refreshing too, if you were honest.

Safe to say, so far, things were working out. So well, in fact, that you’d recently met his parents for the first time while they were in town. So well, in fact, that -after keeping him purposefully away from the boys for as long as you feasibly could- you’d now brought him to meet your family. That’s what this squad was to you, after all. Your family.

Remembering sporadic moments from the past few months together, you smile gently as you listen to Dean talk. You watch him seamlessly integrate some tailored conversation starters you’d fed him ahead of time, and you gently squeeze his thigh in an act of reassurance and appreciation. He is feeling the pressure, you can tell, although he is handling it well. To be fair, you think, who wouldn’t feel the pressure? You’d been nervous enough to meet his parents, but this? A bunch of Delta Force guys and an MMA champion? This squad was lethal; literally -you’ve lost track of your combined kill count, though Will probably hasn’t, you are sure.

Aside from that though, most of all, they are your family. You need them to like Dean and vice versa, and you know that isn’t necessarily a given. You are a tight-knit group, with little hope of outsiders grasping the full extent of your decade’s old in-jokes, or the intense camaraderie instilled by facing a hail of bullets together. Plus, as the baby of the group, they were protective as all hell of you.

It came from a good place, you knew: they wanted what was best for you. But, there was a reason you’d delayed this meeting... It’s not as though they were threatening or anything. They didn’t do the whole “if you hurt our buddy, I’ll kill you” thing, for example (at least, not while you were present – you couldn’t vouch for what happened when you were out of earshot). However, after introducing a succession of boyfriends to them over the years, the squad had developed a well-rehearsed system for sizing-up your new squeeze. In the past, not all of your squeezes had made it through the gauntlet. It was a trial by fire, to be sure, and you were pleased that Dean has not yet been burned.

Of course, whilst the boys’ approval didn’t mean everything to you, you couldn’t deny it was important; perhaps especially this time, with this guy. And, out of all of the group, Santi’s approval meant the most to you. Always had. Probably because Santi meant the most to you, full stop. You simply couldn’t imagine having someone in your life that didn’t get on with your best friend. And, so, you are not overly thrilled at the reception Santi is giving Dean right now. The reception he had been giving him all evening, in fact. And the more you dwell on it, the more an anger bubbles forth from you. Even though you try to push it down, and focus on Dean, that fucker in the corner of your eye sends you.

“What’s wrong with you tonight, Garcia?” you blurt out, a little louder than intended, causing the amiable chat and giggles to stall, all eyes turning to you - then, in turn, following the direction of your fiery gaze over to Santi, who shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

Now, he leans forward. Looks back at you with a rare venom in his eyes. With a smug curl of his mouth, he dips to pick up his beer from the floor and takes a swig - buying himself some time. Trying to brush you off. Still, your gaze does not relent as he rests his elbows on his thighs, bridging his fingers together in the space between, thumbs sticking in the air.

Now, he engages, and he looks directly at Dean, his eyes sweeping dismissively over the entirety of his form. Now, he speaks, his voice filled with far more bitterness than the situation merits. “Nothing at all. I’m fucking peachy. So, Dean. You play the motherfuckin’ banjo?” he offers, and yet, it sounds far more like an accusation than a question.

What the fuck is up with him?

Wilting a little beneath Santi’s stare, as the ex-operative squints his eyes in his direction, Dean casts a helpless, sideward glance at you from his place in the circle, and yet, you are so stupefied by anger that you can do little to help.

“I think what my dear friend means to say -” Frankie dips in valiantly, smacking Santi pointedly on the thigh, likely hoping to smack some sense into him too “- is why don’t you tell us more about your music, Dean?”

Frankie’s eyes and smile are soft when he looks at you, surreptitiously exchanging a pointed look -what’s up with that pendejo?- and you are grateful that at least some of the evident tension is diffused when he picks up the slack in the conversation.

Santi and his mood swings be damned, and, feeling bolstered, Dean continues on.

“Actually, it’s going pretty frickin’ well with the band. It’s a side-gig to my lecturing job, but we’re planning a tour during summer vacation. The States -east coast- and Western Europe for now. Maybe headlining a couple of small festivals, if that pans out, who knows.” Dean relates, humbly.

“That’s great, man,” Will chips in, helping Frankie get things back on track. “We’ll have to come down to a gig soon, hear you play.”

“Actually, we have something to tell you about the tour, don’t we, babe?” Dean says bashfully, and he looks at you expectantly, waiting for you to pick-up the thread. You’d talked about it before coming today, and it had seemed like a great idea at the time, but suddenly, now that the announcement is imminent, your mouth is dry - as if filled with cotton. Still, you force a smile, and you’re not sure why, but you look anywhere else but at Santi as your lips form the words. “Yeah – kinda big news, fellas. I’m going to join Dean on the Europe leg of the tour. I’ll be leaving you losers behind for a few months.”

Dean’s face cracks into a smile and he reaches for your hand, looking made-up at the prospect. Still, while you will yourself to be fully present in the moment, you find yourself focussed on looking anywhere but at Santi, sure that his stare must be boring into the side of your head. You hadn’t told him yet. Unfortunately, at Santi is where just about everyone else ends up looking, as the fucker abruptly pushes his camp chair back and stands, storming indoors before anyone can hope to fathom it.

You exchange glances with Frankie, Will, and Benny, with Benny thankfully stepping-in this time to distract Dean from the obvious, and asking him which stops you two will be making, and which sights you plan to see.

“Look, man, don’t mind that tool. Got any sightseeing plans?”

What is Santi’s problem? Why can’t he give Dean a chance? Yes, you’ve made some mistakes in the past- been hurt, and Santi had helped you pick up the pieces -every time- but you had a good feeling about Dean. A really good feeling. Can’t he see that too?

Frankie throws a concerned glance back towards the house and motions as if to stand, but you beat him to it, wanting to get to the bottom of this. “I’ll go,” you insist, motioning for Frankie to stay put, and with a quick promise to Dean that you’ll be back soon (and a silent plea to your boys to take care of him in your absence), you do just that, walk-jogging across the grass.

When you step inside to the kitchen, you find Santi stood, hunched over the counter, his palms clasping the surface tight enough that his knuckles pale, and his head hung low, his shoulders rising and falling as he takes in exaggerated breaths.

“Well?” you ask pointedly, with zero tolerance for his bullshit. “What’s going on with you? Wanna explain why you’re being an ass to my boyfriend?” you challenge to the back of him, and he instantly whips around at the sound of your voice.

“I’m being an ass?” he asks indignantly, his eyebrows shooting towards the top of his head.

“Yes. In a nutshell. Yes,” you hiss, any other interpretation feeling impossible. You fold your arms and purse your lips, making it plainly evident that you are waiting for some explanation. And, oh boy, it had better be good.

Instead of explaining though, Santi simply huffs out breath, gesturing angrily out of the window. “That guy, really? That’s the guy you’re gonna go all in for? Go to fucking Europe for?”

That guy, you mouth silently, completely stupefied for a moment. You’re not sure exactly what your so-called friend is insinuating, but you are clear that you don’t like it one bit.

“What is your fucking problem?” you ask, punctuating your words with motions of your hands, as if you are trying to strangle the air in-between you in lieu of his neck. “Dean’s a catch. He’s hot, he’s sweet, he’s a nice guy. He’s there for me. He takes care of me.”

“Like I don’t take care of you?!” Santi exclaims, his voice rising and abrasive; and then, immediately after the words tumble forth from his lips, he steps back imperceptibly, as if startled by his own outburst, his hand rasping over the stubble on his chin.

“What in the...? This isn’t about you, you ass!” you bite back, face scrunching up in confusion. Your fingers come to your temples as you grow increasingly lost-off and perplexed, and seemingly, your riposte only makes Santi double down on whatever the hell he is complaining about.

“Who’s the one who’s always been there for you, hmm? Who picks up the pieces every time you make yet another dumb shitty choice with another shitty guy?” he rambles, gesturing his hand towards you dismissively.

You step back from him this time, just a little, tears spiking instantaneously in your eyes at such an unnecessarily cruel blow. He’s right, in a sense: you had always relied on Santi to heal you, not to hurt you - and yet here he was dealing these painful, incoherent blows out of nowhere.

“Shit, Garcia. If it’s that much trouble to be there for me don’t bother next time,” you snap, your voice breaking as the swell of anger and hurt and adrenalin sends tears spilling over your cheeks. “Don’t worry though, I don’t think I’ll need you again. In fact, I have a feeling this guy might stick. So, maybe? Maybe you should think about the fact that the only shitty guy around here is you.”

“You really think he’s good enough for you, hmm? He’s really who you want to end up with?”

You listen, aghast, as his tirade keeps coming. However, as Santi’s voice breaks with emotion part-way through his second question, you can’t explain it, but you feel an intolerable sadness in the pit of you. Even though you’re not sure what’s causing all this, what you’re barrelling toward, you want to thrust this sadness away from you. Push him away from you. You want to push away the knot in your stomach for fear that if you tug at that thread, you might arrive at an answer to his question.

Exasperated, overwhelmed, you roughly paw tears from your cheeks, not knowing where all of these feelings are coming from, in either direction. “Fuck, I... I don’t understand what this is. I don’t get it!” you say, waving your hands, palms-up, through the air. “Is this some macho bullshit? Have I pissed you off somehow?”

At that, the wave of Santi’s anger crests and breaks; as you wonder if you annoyed him. Then, as suddenly as his anger came it is waning, his eyes pooling with rare tears now. With a huff of breath he tears off his damn cap, tossing it aside to run a hand through his grizzled hair.

“No. No,” he backtracks a little, palms up in surrender. “You haven’t... I.... I just...” He pinches his lips in-between his teeth and looks up at the ceiling as his words trail off, perhaps trying to steady his voice before continuing. Or, perhaps he has nothing else to say to you. Perhaps he’s said enough.

You examine him. Still pissed as all hell, but worried now too, and ultimately, your love for your best friend slightly edging-out the anger. It’s rare that anything affects him like this, and you can’t help the sudden rush of concern.

Cresting too, you exhale a tightly held breath into the now silent, taut space between you, and your body sags - just a little. You chew over your words a moment, but when your voice comes back the volume is lower, your tone softer - and, although it cannot be considered friendly, by any stretch, it’s the best you can do right now.

“You know what,” you offer, generously, wrapping your arms around your own middle, stroking your forearms with your own fingertips. “I’m giving you a pass. You don’t even want to give Dean a chance? Then just leave, Santi. Just go. I’ll give the guys some bullshit excuse that doesn’t leave you looking like a total ass, because I’m not a dick to my friends. So just go, okay?” You pump your eyebrow at him indignantly and await a response, your manner stiff and unyielding.

Santi closes his eyes and knits his brow together, something like regret finally passing over his face and he shuffles guiltily from foot-to-foot.

You puff out air through your teeth and shake your head, as you observe this Delta Force hero; the bravest man you know in many ways, but still too cowardly to tell it like it is. To admit that he’s in the wrong. You are afraid to say that even as his gaze comes back to you, misty-eyed, you have little sympathy for his plight. You are sure it is of his own doing. You are almost as sure that he won’t open-up.

“You know,” you begin, breaking from your position and gathering up a fresh cooler of beers from the fridge, turned away from him as you speak. “I brought Dean to meet my family. Do you understand that? I didn’t have parents and siblings for him to meet. I have you guys. You’re my family.”

Still nothing. Nothing but silence greets you. Nothing but a pained expression on his face, his brows drown together and the artificial light of the kitchen highlighting the harsh planes of his face as you look over your shoulder at him, waiting for some reaction. Some admission of guilt. None comes. He simply slots his hands into his jean pockets, looking sheepish.

“So,” you continue, greeted with a brick wall, “fuck knows why you don’t want me to be happy, but I am. I’m happy with him. Thanks a ton for shitting all over that.”

You don’t even bother to look towards him this time, instead placing the last of the clinking, condensation-adorned bottles into the carrier, resigned to head back out without him, and without any apology.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says, and your head whips towards him in surprise.

He looks it - sorry. He looks apologetic. Deeply so. He looks sorry for this, for every way he’s ever slighted you, for every time he’s hurt you, even in ways and moments you never knew about. He looks sorry down to the pit of him, and it catches you off-guard when you see it freely offered there in his eyes.

Even so, this is a stubborn man. There’s an apology, but there’s no explanation. Nothing to explain his behaviour. So, even though it seems genuine, it also doesn’t seem like enough.

It doesn’t appease you, and yet, all you can bring yourself to do is sigh deeply.

You know Santi better than anyone, but there’s always been a part of him that has seemed out of reach, even to you. You’re not sure -never have been- whether to be scared or excited by those unknown parts of him. Not sure whether the impasse hints at buried secrets too dark and deep to bear, or whether it hints of a possibility of something more. Something deeper or something better you could have together, if only he would let you in. You don’t know, and you never have, but all you are sure of is that you have constantly teetered on the edge of that abyss, too much left unknown to know all of him, however much you may have wished to. He’s entitled to his secrets, of course, but you hate how they hurt him.

With a little sympathy now, you examine his watery eyes, and when your voice comes back this time, it is softer and slower than you intended. More tired than you expected.

“You know, Dean wants to be with me. And he tells me so.” You casually dip down to pick-up the cooler handle, eyes still fixed on your best friend. “He might not be Delta Force… he might be a banjo player from Michigan… but even he’s brave enough for that.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Santi says, bristling all over again, his hand rasping angrily over his stubbled jaw, and yet, you decline him an explanation. Instead, keeping your own secrets now, holding back, you head towards the door, beers in hand.

Still, you turn back to him. You might be angry, but you still care for him -more than you could say.

“If you figure out what’s up with you, let me know, and I’ll be there for you. Whatever you’ve got going on, you know that, right? But this? This isn’t okay, Garcia. You might think that I make dumb choices -you ass, by the way- but I’ve watched you hit self-destruct so many times instead of dealing with your feelings. Maybe you should look at your own life, huh, instead of shitting all over me for trying to be happy? Shit, at least I fucking try.”

His eyes shift from side to side in the room, the muscles in his jaw twitching, chin jutting forward, and his thumbs locked in his belt loops. He can’t quite bring himself to meet your gaze; at least not until you are disappearing through the threshold; until it’s almost too late. Why can’t he ever manage anything unless it’s too late?

“Wait!” he pleads, but you cut him off, before he can speak. Even though, truth be told, you’re not sure he would muster anything to say at all, even if you gave him a chance. He’s so used to holding back.

“No,” you say firmly. “Forget it, I’m done. I still love you- you’re my best friend. But, fuck, just go home, and get out of my sight, Santiago. I’m so pissed with you right now.”

And so, you turn away, and when his words finally do come, they are spoken to the back of your head. They are spoken without you ever seeing his lips move, and you wonder if he ever said them at all, or if this might be some cruel trick of the night. Some witching hour spell. That is, until you turn towards him and you see the words painted clearly on his face too.

“Fuck it. I’m in love with you.”

I’m in love with you.

Why can’t he ever manage anything unless it’s too late?

You’re not sure what reaction he was expecting, but you almost choke on the sudden lump in your throat. You feel a taste of bile rising-up into your mouth. An intense, resurgent anger fills you, which near makes the room spin, and makes your hands and your legs tremble.

Even if a hidden, unconscious part of you has been waiting, hoping for these words all these years, when they finally come all you can feel is... royally pissed off.

“Oh. No. No. No,” you repeat, words gradually increasing in volume, looking at Santi as if he has mortally wounded you, rather than offered that confession. “You do not get to do this to me.”

You see a hard swallow bob down his throat, a near-instant regret on his face, and your heart pounds in your chest as you reel with the implications of his words.

The coward. The fucking asshole. He waited until now? All the times things had gone to shit, and he waited until you were happy?

“All the times...” you accuse, your tone as bitter as the taste in your mouth, the metallic tang of blood as you feel a rushing in your ears. “All the fucking times. All the chances, Santi, and you do this now?” you continue, your finger sawing through the air, wagging accusations at him, even as your voice wavers, as your hands notceably tremble. “No. Fuck you, Garcia. Fuck you.”

You want to cry, or scream, but you are too angry. So angry, that it eclipses anything else which might come to light. So angry that you almost come full circle again, beginning to stabilise out at eerily calm.

Santi looks down at the floor, and exhales air, chuckling disbelievingly to himself, then lightly nodding his head, lips pressed tightly together. His feet shift agitatedly below him as he brings his endlessly familiar eyes back up to meet yours. This time when he looks at you, it hurts. You remember bullet wounds, and you swear that was nothing compared to this.

“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say to me, hmm? Fuck you, Garcia?”

“What the fuck were you expecting?” you say, launching your words before you realise the implications of them. Yes, you know fine well that your boyfriend is sitting outside, likely wondering where you have got to. But, if you had the wherewithall to have thought about it, you would know exactly what Santi was expecting, despite all of that. You would know that a part of him must be expecting, hoping, that when he told you, you might reciprocate. That you might love him back.

And, would that be so outside of the realms of possibility? Would it be so hard to imagine that the deep, magnetic, and unshakeable friendship you shared could be something else? Something more? That you could tip over the edge you had long been teetering on? Maybe it could, or maybe it could have, but right now, you can’t see past the flashbang he has just dropped over your life, and it is clouding your vision.

You were happy. You are happy. Fuck him for doing this now.

Why would you fall into the unknown for him, if you never knew whether he would catch you? If you never knew whether ruin or safety awaited you if you let yourself tip? He always held back.

What the fuck were you expecting?

Your words linger in the space between you, and in lieu of any other lifeline, realisation dawns on Santi’s face. Realisation that, although he jumped, you are not intending to catch him either. But how could you catch him, with your arms already full?

And, so, he slowly nods his head once again, his eyes beading with glassy tears and his hand grazing over his chin in a self-soothing gesture. Wordlessly, he sets his jaw and he abruptly replaces his baseball cap on his head, padding a few steps forward to stand opposite you, sucking all of the breath from your lungs. This time, when he looks at you, you see all of your past, but you still can’t see beyond that. The abyss still scares you too much.

Like this, facing each other down, eye-to-eye, the silence in the room grows sharp as a knife, refined to a point. So, when Santi abruptly turns to leave in a sharp, determined trajectory, without so much as looking at you, it is as if he has dragged the blade across your skin in an equally swift motion. As if he has left you open and bleeding-out, having delivered a mortal wound with the act of his exit. You’ve felt like this on the battelfield before, and in life, yet he was always there for you. Always there to patch you. To pick up the pieces.

Instead of screaming open-mouthed for help, this time, you simply watch him go, and now you are the wordless one, mustering nothing but a gasped inhale of breath before your vision blurs with tears - as you watch his hazy form disappear along the hall and out of your sight.

“Santi,” you call pathetically, your voice small and weak and teary, barely making it past your throat, and he doesn’t hear you. He doesn’t hear you but even if he had, you’re not sure anymore if he would have stopped.

When Santi slams the front door behind him, you shudder with it in its frame, your hand coming to your chest as if to hold your heart inside your opened-up ribs, and you close your eyes against the jarring sound, tears spilling down your cheeks, your face screwing-up into a shined, contorted grimace.

Entirely lost, now alone, you bizarrely wish for the room to be filled with anger again, instead of the intolerable sadness - which all too suddenly takes hold of you as your emotions crest and break. It is all you can do to stumble forward a few paces and hunch over the countertop, finding yourself in the exact position you had discovered Santi in. You stand, bracing yourself with your arms, fingers clutching the edge of the worktop, and your head slumped forward, tears freely spilling out of you as your chest heaves.

You wonder whether he’d held himself in this same position because he had felt an intolerable sadness too. An intolerable sadness at seeing you happy.

Suddenly you could understand it.

That fucker. Santiago “Pope” Garcia.

I’m in love with you.

The words echo in your mind, but this time, if you’re honest, you’re not wholly sure if they’re his, or yours.

PART TWO IS HERE

#santiago pope garcia x reader #santiago pope garcia #santiago garcia x reader #triple frontier #triple frontier x reader #triple frontier fanfic

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