#holy apple crumble

[meerschweinchen-archive]

batter my heart three person'd god. pour it into the mold and bake it in a preheated oven. let it cool before you slice it. serve with cream

[fourfuckinghorsemen]

I think I just experienced a foodgasm.

[avatarofcuriousity]

Flustering the Nowdateables (SFW)

Probs already been done but I haven’t seen one? So here. Take

Special edition with co-author @avatarofcuriousity!

Content warnings: none!

Diavolo

Very used to praise, being a well-respected public figure and all.

The quickest way to see him crumble (in a good way) is to see him as Diavolo the demon instead of Lord Diavolo.

Casual touches will be the death of him. Give him a hug, hold his hand, tackle him, grab his sleeve in a crowded hall, have him lean down so you can whisper something in his ear. He’ll be up at night thinking about it, guaranteed.

Stand up for him, too! If Mephisto prattling on about what princes should or shouldn’t do, feel free to cuss him out. Dia will tell you it’s unnecessary, but he’s not fooling anyone— he loves that not only do you see him as more than royalty, but that you firmly believe he should be allowed to be a regular guy sometimes. It’ll give him butterflies for days.

Not necessarily flustering, but a good way to stay on Dia’s mind is to get him little gifts that show you pay attention. A pack of his favourite pens when he runs out, a toy from a gacha machine… Hell, put a sticker from an apple on his forehead. He’ll leave it there until Barbatos takes it off.

Barbatos

As expected, it’s hard to get much of a reaction out of him… Barbatos handles himself so gracefully that it seems impossible.

But once you figure out how to fluster him, it’s game over.

Barb is two things: helpful, and a tease. The best way to get him blushing is to beat him at his own game, in one way or the other.

If you can wake up early enough, surprising him with breakfast and cleaning up after’ll do it. Barbatos doesn’t get taken care of often, so any unexpected act of love will have him hiding behind his gloves. He’s an ‘acts of service’ man, so being on the receiving end for once makes him short-circuit.

Or, if you want something that requires less effort: casual, helpful, intimacy. Get really close to fix a stray hair. Straighten his tie, flatten his collar, pluck an eyelash off his cheek.

Don’t be fooled; he may regain composure quickly, but he’ll be thinking about it all day.

Solomon

Sudden affection is the way to go for my man Solomon.

He’s chill, confident, and powerful, but not immune to the element of surprise.

Pull him down by the collar for a quick kiss. Hug him from behind while he’s hyperfocused on a spell. Catch him off-guard, and he’ll be rendered useless for a good few minutes.

Another great way to fluster Solomon is to take care of him. After being alone for so long, he’s used to handling everything himself. Humans are social creatures made for community and helping each other. Sol has gone without that for eons.

Wordlessly leave a sandwich on his desk while he studies. Bring a bottle of water to school for him. Tug him back inside until he puts on sunscreen.

Solomon’s experienced a lot, but domesticity? That’s new.

Simeon

Tempt him— but not in that way.

Simeon’s had people try to make him fall before; honestly, he’s used to folks making obvious passes. It’s the organic beauty of your actions that makes Simeon a lovesick mess.

Play with his fingers absentmindedly, kiss his palms, pass him a note in class that’s just a little heart. Small gestures of tenderness make him oh, so weak.

And, of course, being good with Luke. As Luke’s dad caretaker, seeing someone he loves treat his son well is bound to make him soft.

Getting along with Luke will earn you points. Seeking him out makes his heart swell, and being a good co-parent will make his knees buckle.

[lxvvie]

I need more free use! Simon but I’ve got no ideas what his s/o could do with him🫠🥲

Free use!Simon but instead of sex, it's... intimacy and affection.

Simon who fully expects you fuck him dumb when he comes home from a fairly long deployment but you pamper him instead and he's equal parts taken back and enjoying it because why the fuck not?

Simon who anticipates your hand going into his sweatpants when you come up from behind him but nope, your hands stay firmly on his hips. You kiss his shoulder, tell him he's the most beautiful thing you've ever laid eyes on, and holy fucking shit, his face is hot—

Simon who finds himself on the receiving end of a nice session of body worshipping. You cornered him right after he got out of the shower and you made sure to kiss and caress any and every scar and bruise you could, especially the recent ones. By the time you're done, Simon's positive every part of his body is covered in goosebumps and that he fucking whimpered. Good boy.

Simon who was so goddamn sure you were gonna leave a hickey on his neck but all you did was kiss his Adam's apple ever so softly and he could choke on the things he's feeling right now and fuck, you're killing him, doll—

Simon who thought you were going for your signature ass grab in public of all places but you simply rest your hand on the small of his back. And keep it there. Bloody fuckin' hell.

Simon who finds himself under you in bed. Not that he's complaining, mind you. And then you begin covering his face in gentle kisses. Every fucking inch, he feels the softness of your lips and his eyes flutter closed and yeah, his face is hotter than ever and his cheeks must be red as shit at this point. You tell him you love him on your final kiss and he just crumbles.

Simon who thinks he received nudes or some shit on his phone while he was away on another mission but no, it's one of the sweetest damn texts he's ever received. You wish him luck, you tell him you miss him, you tell him you can't wait to have him back in your arms again and he swears his heart is about to burst. And yes, Johnny, he's absolutely dandy. Thanks for asking.

[smuttykdrama]

[Suhyeok x Bully!Hambie!Gwinam's Sister!Reader / All Of Us Are Dead]

Warnings: NONCON (Well, sort of? Suhyeok's saying no but he actually wants it?), Female Reader, Sub!Suhyeok, Dom!Reader, Smut, Degrading.

(A/N): So i just finished AOUAD and hOLY FUCK i need more Suhyeok smut. I'm a massive fucking domme so had make this idea into a fanfic!! I might make a longer one tbh, like a book on wattpad or something haha. Anyways, filth under the cut!

"What are you smirking at, you brat, huh? Answer me.“

You moved like a predator, dangerous and calculating, and Suhyeok panted pathetically before you even touched him. You'd roughed him up a little so he was too exhausted to dare to escape your clutches.

“Nothing! None of your business, Yoon (Y/N)."

As defiant and brave as ever, Suhyeok wasn’t going to give himself up without a fight, even if he didn’t want to win that fight anyways. You'd found him alone in a classroom full of zombies, fighting for his life. Luckily, you were there to help him out of that sticky situation...and into another one. You and your psycho brother, Yoon Gwinam, had both turned into a Hambie. Conveniently, Gwinam told you that Suhyeok was yours, as long as he have Cheongsan to torment. Nightmare siblings, everyone called you.

"Lee Suhyeok. I saved you. How are you going to repay me, huh?"

You picked him up from the floor like he weighed nothing, ripping his blazer and shirt apart almost instantly, shocking him. A part of Suhyeok felt violated, but another part excited him. He'd hanged with the school bullies before, hence he knew you, and secretly liked you and your fierce attitude.

"Come on, thats enough, (Y/N). Let me go. I have to get back to the others."

Your eyes widened in anger.

"Say that again. I dare you. Do you know what fucking bullshit i had to go through to finally capture you?!"

Suhyeok accidentally moaned as you cornered him and tangled a hand in your hair, tugging on it. You basically hissed, nails leaving tracks across the tanned, unblemished skin of his chest. He gasped, attempting to push you away as you sucked on his neck harshly, making sure not to bite him...yet.

“Wha- (Y/N)..stop - nnghh..."

Suhyeok trailed off, groaning, his adams apple bobbing up and down as you traced his neck. It made you thirsty for more; to claim him as yours, to hurt him more. There was nothing more erotic than a strong fighter submitting to you completely, unable to defend himself from your advances. The truth is, ever since Suhyeok stopped talking to you, your brother and the other bullies, day by day you grew more frustrated with him. And his stupid bravery. The fact that he's not yours. That hes so perfect and good and distancing himself from you. From evil.

"Please, (Y/N). I have to help our classmates -"

Oh come on. Even when he was being violated like this, Suhyeok was thinking of others. At this point he knows he’s going to be punished for even believing that you were a nice person. Because you were a possessive freak. A weirdo. Someone who’s entire existence is frowned upon. If only he knew what it was like to be infatuated with someone until you’d either kill a person, or them.

SLAP.

“Don’t you get it? You’re mine. Stay out of everyone’s sight. Don’t touch them, talk to them, look at them, or even breathe in their direction. I'll kill you if you go back."

Before Suhyeok could say anything else, he choked on his next words as you peeled your panties off and picked him up, thrusting straight onto him, his cock completely filling you up. In that moment, he felt himself crumble in front of you. In this very moment, all Suhyeok wanted was to feel alive again. To forget about the damn zombies. You felt the sweet sting of him stretching you open, filling you to the brim and you know you’d never feel this with anyone else. No matter how shady and unethical and terrifying you were, Suhyeok knew you were not the kind of woman you find twice. 

“Are you fucking with me? You like this don’t you? You dirty little whore, Lee Suhyeok, enjoying being used by a filthy possessive girl like me. You want to be owned. Be thankful i haven't turned you already."

You weren’t taking your time, the way you’re fucking him into the wall—bucking your hips into his at a frantic pace and making him whine—it wasn’t for pleasure. No, he could tell by the way you’re keeping him close, not trying to change your angle to get deeper, that you wanted to possess him completely.

"Harder..."

He finally whispered, his eyes averting from your gaze as you fucked him into oblivion. The slapping of flesh was loud, and so was the sound of Suhyeok's ever so needy moaning. And your heavenly whimpers.

"(Y/N), fuck, im yours. I'm yours, so own me."

That's what you liked to hear.

[END]

[jude-duarte-wannabe]

welcome to the bakery

currently playing; the bakery by melanie martinez "pack it, box it, flip it, top it... the bakery, i'm tryna make some more"

this was inspired by @bunnys-kisses so go check out their page, such incredible stuff <3

when you request, please make sure to let me know if it's from my smut prompts or my soft ones [soft request prompts are still in the works]

hey lovely, how can i help? may i take your order? what do you feel like today? personally i'm in need of some iced tea and all you have to do is pick a dessert, drink and server of your choosing please, please, please don't forget to indicate who you want me to write about!! also please keep in mind that i haven't written anything in a while so it might take a bit for me to back into the groove of it. <3

the bakeries i currently have open are: formula one, resident evil, bridgerton and criminal minds, just for now.[but i am open to any other fandoms you might have in mind! please do not hesitate to ask!!]

the servers i'm currently writing for include; charles leclerc, carlos sainz, lewis hamiltion, pierre gasly, lando norris, max verstappen, oscar piastri, leon kennedy, carlos oliveria, chris redfield, anthony bridgerton, benedict bridgerton, colin bridgerton, spencer reid, aaron hotchner and luke alvez.

i do also accept polyam relationships! [pairing + reader] but only three people just to make it manageable on my end!

all orders can be made to the inbox for @jude-duarte-wannabe and i'll get your order together when i can also let me know if you want your order to...

be extra hot; real smutty or have sweetener; extra fluffy

let me know if want to be added to my taglist by commenting <3 followed by the person.

the bakery menu;

pound cake; "i can be rough and i don't want to hurt you"

churro's; "does my sweet boy need comforting"

cheese scone; "let your brother find out, i don't fucking care"

mille-feuille; "that's it, shit, such a good fucking girl"

cinnamon buns; "no promises"

gingerbread; "i mean i would totally make out with her/him but like platonically, you know"

baguette; "give me a minute, i really need to tickle the shit out of you"

pretzel; "i was never meant to fall for you"

cornbread; "you taste really good"

strawberry shortcake; "he's so cute, i really want to bite him"

soda bread; "wait a second... am i your lockscreen'

focaccia; "i could beat the shit out of you" "i know"

choux pastry; "i can't believe i ever loved you"

pumpkin muffin; "shut up... my girls asleep"

dinner roll; "holy shit, you still love him/her"

cakepop; "goodnight to my future wife, fuck the rest of you"

pull apart bread; "i love you"

souffle; "i'll be gentle"

powdered doughnuts; "marry me"

s'more; "the accent got to you, didn't it"

waffles; "you spill a single fucking drop and we're starting again"

shortbread biscuits; "if he pisses me off again, i'm fucking his girl"

red velvet cupcake; "does he know that i cum deep inside his little angel'

pancakes; "no, we can't, not here"

coffee cake; "i need to breed you"

french toast; "i don't think it'll fit"

crepes; "go back to sleep, you don't need to be awake for this sweetcheeks"

sweet pastry; "i'm trying to get you pregnant, now shut up and let me concentrate"

butter tart; "stop, don't fake it"

sugar pie; "stop wriggling"

zebra cake; "i'll make it fit"

carrot cake; "dirty girl"

date scone; "i'm going to make you a mama and your going to make me a daddy"

cookie; "do you feel that, how fucking deep i am"

brownie; "no fucking touching"

cheesecake; "don't yell at me"

pumpkin pie; "are you nibbling on me"

chocolate cake; "i'll use protection, i promise"

spice pie; "i wonder if your brother know that i cum inside you"

apple crumble; "i can't do this while you cat/dog is watching"

sausage roll; "i hate being your secret"

blueberry slice; "but what if somebody see's"

mushroom pie; "that looks like it hurt"

apple tart; "what do you mean you want me to choke you"

lemon slice; "i forget how small you are sometimes"

swiss roll; "your glasses are fogging up"

truffle; "send me an audio of you moaning"

oaty slice; "you smell like me"

cream puff; "this ends when your pregnant"

custard slice; "no hiding your face"

victoria sponge; "you wanna hold my hand"

english muffin; "i could die between these legs"

bagel; "where you going, this ain't over"

banana bread; "i can't believe you broke my bed"

hot cross buns; "i'll pay for the damages"

apple turnover; "can you keep it down"

fudge; "what do you mean noise complaint"

peach cake; "i've never done this"

tiramisu; "how could you be so stupid"

crumb cake; "nobody has to know"

custard tart; "you gonna let me cum inside"

date pudding; "your going to let me rawdog you, oh fuck"

mince pie; "so fucking dumb"

angel food cake; "did you just squirt, since when could you do that"

savory scroll; "stop stressing, i'm not going to post it"

chocolate chip cookie; "did you just call me pretty boy"

croissant; "don't you dare"

elcairs; "don't, leave them on"

chocolate mousse; "i'm sorry"

boston cream pie; "fuck it's dripping down your legs"

and to drink;

coffee; somnophilia kink

tea; semi public

juice; breeding kink

mocha; daddy kink

peppermint tea; mommy kink

vodka shot; rough sex

sparkling water; gentle sex

oat milk; one night stand

soy milk; friends with benefits

coconut milk; friends to lovers

almond milk; grumpy x sunshine

energy drink; doggy style

turmeric latte; fake dating

cold brew; possessive

espresso shot; dirty talking

chamomile tea; choking kink

glass of water; aftercare

herbal tea; soft but only for you

milkshake; size kink

pina colada; pregnancy

matcha latte; mixed with smau

cider; body worship

mai tai; loss of virginity

margarita; unprotected sex

chai; biting or hickeys [please let me know which]

earl grey; big cock

tonic water; age gap

soda; protected sex

root beer; caught in the act

americano; oral sex

whiskey; degrading language

vitamin water; dom/sub dynamics

irish coffee; drunk sex

lemon water; secret relationship

dark roast; sub character

hot chocolate; sub reader

iced tea; accentally leaking relationship

flat white; brothers best friend

iced latte; best friends brother

iced mocha latte; plus sized reader

smoothie; belly bulge

doppio coffee; wall sex

green tea; spiting kink

cortado; belly kisses

affogato; a bet

lemon ginger tea; single mom/dad

berry smoothie; accidental pregnancy

sunshine smoothies; fake dating

cappuccino; secret baby

rice milk; baby fever

cashew milk; somebody flirts with your bf/gf

iced chai; forehead kisses

[joocomics]

maybe yes

day 9 — sex tape w/ gaon ⌞⌗ kinktober ⌝

𓂃⠀𓈒 switch!jiseok x fem!reader

genre: smut — mdni! wc: 812

contains: light sub/dom dynamics, (consensual) filming, protected sex, dirty talk, pet names, a sprinkle of drama if you squint

[ kinktober masterlist | general masterlist ]

“Fuck, you’re so fuckin’ good to me, baby.”

Jiseok’s eyes are half-shut. His vision turns more blurry as you ride his dick leisurely, but awakening only stirring emotions as you do.

He’s finding it difficult to grasp how this slow pace forms such a strong knot of rush in his body. He can feel it pulsing in every part of his being as you keep rolling your hips, syncing your pants with his.

It’s unusual for the two of you to stick to such relaxed rhythm for this long, but so pleasurable. Especially when you realise to what degree of fucked out Jiseok can go.

“I can cum like this, holy shit—“ He hisses as his eyes roll back in pleasure. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

You do feel good on top when you’re with Jiseok.

You might say yes and become his girlfriend.

You take your cellphone and open the camera. After hitting the record button, you adjust the device on your nightstand where both of you can be seen perfectly in the footage.

Jiseok doesn’t glance at the phone’s direction, because he expected this sooner or later.

Nothing in your performance changes as the recording goes on. You continue looking at each other the way you always do, compelled by each other’s expressions; you continue to sound just as erotic and close to being pushed over the edge; you continue to please him, but with just a hint of dominance in the pace, aware that he’s close.

“Fuck, just like that, baby, don’t stop—“ A string of cussing words comes out of Jiseok’s mouth as your body jumps up. The video catches his breathless voice and the creaking of the mattress beneath his naked figure.

He wishes he can hold onto the view of your bouncy breasts, but the urgent rush inside him becomes too much to handle and he throws his head back into the pillow, giving you a nice view of his bobbing adam’s apple.

“Yeah, pretty,” he says in a hurry as he forces his eyes back where your bodies connect, “taking my cock like a good girl, gonna make me cum so hard.”

You smile at him, cheeks flushed from his ongoing words and the way his plump lips stay parted in a silent moan. You learned to love the way he starts babbling when he’s close to cumming.

“Gonna cum for me, baby, mm?”

His hands retrieve from your body - another sign he’s fully at your control and trusts your ways.

“Yea, baby—“ His one hand grabs the sheets helplessly. He’s trying so hard not to crumble. “Cream my cock first, yeah? Cum around me, doll, please!”

You really thought you’re going to keep up with the sensual speed, but you quickly realise that your body wants more.

It needs more force, more of this warm electrifying energy that’s flowing through your veins as he keeps you full causing your arousal to dribble down the soaked condom.

“Ji—“ you choke on his name, earning a pleasantly rough sound from his throat as an answer. “Oh, fuck!”

Unconsciously your hands find his and force them on the sides of your lower body. His grip immediately obeys your needs and digs in tightly to help you out during the last few seconds when your rush is going to snap.

You feel your muscles melting; your body teeming with pleasure as the back and forth motions for a moment turn rigid and furious, then back to slow and mellow. Thanks to his strength the culmination overflows both of your bodies before your mind can even process it.

A moment later, Jiseok drops his head on the pillows with a sigh, running his fingertips through his hair as you stop the video.

He grabs the phone from you before you put it away to take a quick peek.

“Which one is it gonna be?” He asks with his eyes focused on the screen.

“This one.” You nod with no hesitation.

“You sure?” Jiseok tosses the device and a soft grin appears on his lips that now have a tint of red. “What about the one I fucked you in the car?”

You shake your head, leaning forward to his flushed chest.

“This one feels more intimate.”

His thumb forces your chin up, but he doesn’t kiss you. He only lets his gaze trace the features of your pretty face - the one that showed up so unexpectedly in his life.

You use the silence to ask:

“Are you sure you’re okay with ruining your friendship for me?”

Your ex boyfriend and Jiseok have been friends since they were teenagers, everyone knows that, but he replies without even taking a second to think. He speaks firmly, like there’s nothing to consider.

“Yeah, baby,” his hands stroke your naked thighs that still hold him down, “for you, every guy would.”

! please do not repost, copy or translate my works

! please keep in mind that english is not my first language. i apologise for any mistakes i’ve might missed

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 6

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

Here we are on book 2!

I took a couple days off because my body was perishing (read: my uterus was being a little bitch) but I am back :D

Today's tea is an apple crumble with milk and sugar and my little reading buddy (Charlie) has returned for this chapter Extra Needy and sporting his new necktie.

Let's get into this long chapter:

And we start three years later! I was wondering if there was going to be a time jump and there is! :) p9

Why is everyone so thirsty in this world RE: Ning YingYing p10

Oh dang. I really want to know what's making people melt into skeletons p13

Shen Qingqiu is such a vibe" I know I am physically useless, but i'm also a walking encyclopedia so I bring that to the party" p14 honestly same

So many corpses in the water!! p18

Oh shit, what the heck Wu Chen's legs? p22

RE: Wu Chen I did lol at "Great Master, you call this a bit uncomfortable?!" p 22

this totally feels more like a curse than a standard plague p24

why am I laughing so hard at "fuck me, with this speed, they wouldn't lose to a runner doing the 100-metre hurdles! 'Old Lady'? Yeah right! I must be blind!"p26

oooo! Gongyi Xiao is back! p28

Baby is back too!! Luo Binghe! pp29-31

omg and now there is a height difference! Shen qinqgiu being the smol one p32

Re: on the subject of thinking it was a curse like 15 pages ago, it is not a curse. I don't know why I thought it would be literally anything other than demons LOL this is the plot of the entire fictional universe of this book p37

Luo Binghe still only has eyes for Shen Qingqiu- even after being tossed into hell p38

I truly love the inner monologue of Shen Qingqiu's thoughts vs what people just kind of assume he's feeling. SQQ: Luo Binghe has brainwashed these disciples, he is definitely coming for me, I am fucked. Everyone else: this poor man misses his student so much, he is so hurt that Luo Binghe didn't go back to him.

LOL at Luo Binghe's hatefire at seeing SQQ and Gongyi Xiao bonding together p42

I can't XD SQQ: I have a huge announcement guys, Luo Binghe is back!!!! Everyone else: who tf is that? RIP p44

no shit that demonic activity increasing in frequency is 100% indeed a bad omen. p47

I'm crying SQQ thinks Luo BInghe is about to kill him p48

not the magpie bridge reference p50

This man is just crushing his windpipe for funsies -> why do I feel like this is their dynamic? p50

SQQ is actually an idiot. This fool is continuously operating under the assumption that nothing in the story has changed and the original story is guaranteed. If he heard these words and responded appropriately he'd probably be fine RE: "Then why did you tell me not to put too much weight on race and that no one is intolerable to the heavens" p55

Goddamn is Luo Binghe just going to keep beating the shit out of SQQ?? pp57-59

He really made him drink his blood (side note: when this is all said and done, I need to read some vampire aus) What even is that blood going to do to him?? (do not actually tell me, I assume I will find out soonish) p59

I am once again here to talk about how utterly Fucked SQQ is. He still has 0 idea that Luo Binghe has absolutely claimed him p65

Oh dang. Still, even after all this, SQQ has not shaken his original fate of being hated p69

Bro should have let Qi Qingyi finish that sentence. Re: out of his mind with grief" also probably would have changed some things (even if he was embarrassed as hell) p71

omg so much happening in this scene rn AND then Shen Qingqiu's ex shows up out of no where?!?!?!?!??!!? p73

this man truly cannot catch a break p75

holy shit not even his ex- his wife??????? p75

oop, we have SQQ backstory reveal p77

But also with this reveal: it's a little weird for her though. Like her family takes in this kid from the street, makes him a servant. He continues to serve them, his "family" starts to view him a sibling, AND THEN they get betrothed (not married). Like what. This is wild poor guy- weird because sibling dynamics, also he was their servant. I think she is the weird one honestly. p77

okay, well, he did kill her brother LOL p78

the water prison does not sound good. p81

he really wants to try and last a month there??? best of luck buddy, he cant even handle riding in a carriage without a snack p85

Bonus picture with no notes!

I'm actually so excited for the water prison- it sounds vile, but I need to know how he get's out/how his relationship with Luo Binghe progresses.

[siren-serenity]

sleeping beauty 💜🖤

beware the sleeping beauty

characters: vil schoenheit, rook hunt, gn!reader warnings: slight swearing, descriptions of corpses (light) a/n: - thank you @jade-s-nymph for allowing me to join your halloween collab! can't wait to see everyone else's work! - feedback is appreciated! - honorable tags -> @azulashengrottospiano, @officialdaydreamer00, @hisui-dreamer, @ceruleancattail, @identity-theft-101, @siphoklansan, @merotwst, @the-dumber-scaramouche

The walls were dangerous, but not unclimbable. They scraped your knees and rubbed angrily against your skin, but you persevered onwards. Crimson beads of blood could be seen on the dull grey rocks if one cared to look carefully. There was a light in your eyes that couldn't, no, wouldn't be extinguished no matter what the elders of your village said.

"J-Just, just a bit more!" You grunted as your blister-covered hands finally grabbed onto a flat surface and you pulled yourself up with all the remaining stress you had in yourself. "This is for Rook..."

You could imagine Rook's deep, rich laughter and feel his curious gaze on you. You could practically hear him say, "Mon ami, just a bit more! There's so much beauty in climbing a cliff instead of just flying up here, isn't there?"

"Fuck that, Rook," You muttered and heaved yourself up. Lying on your back, you let out exhausted exhales and shakily pumped your fist in the air. "Made it at last!"

The sky seemed closer than ever. If you reached up, you could practically touch the wispy clouds. But the strange, slightly acidic air and the eerie silence of the wilderness reminded you of your duty and you crawled onto your feet.

"Holy shit...."

The castle, named 'Pomefiore', was covered in thorns and thick veins. The stonework was crumbling and cracking and the rusted chains on the drawbridge creaked as you walked across it. You vividly remembered climbing up here with Rook years ago; the moat was a crystal blue color that made the blond ramble and gasp with awe. Now, you crouched, and instead of sapphire blue, gooey thick green slurp stared back at you. A bubble formed and hissed as it popped; you flinched back.

"What happened to you?" You murmured, pressing a hand to the large double doors. They screeched as you pushed, grunting as you did so. It was dark inside. You twirled your purple-gemmed pen in a familiar motion and a small orb of light formed.

You laughed, staring at the orb. "Professor would be proud that I managed to do so...can't wait to show Rook!"

Rook Hunt...cold water drowned you, reminding you of what you were here for again. You sobered up. Pointing your pen forward, you slowly crept forward, attentive to each and every whisper of wind in the nooks and crannys of the castle.

A week ago, Rook had arrived at your house with a skip in his step and adrenaline glinting in his emerald eyes. He had come to you with a proposition - to join him on a journey to the haunted Pomefiore to appreciate its beauty. You had denied it (you never regretted a decision more in your life) because you were helping your friend, Epel, with the apple harvesting. The light in his eyes diminished, but he had respected your decision. Last time you saw him, he was walking away wearing his signature velvety purple cloak and his bow and arrows hoisted on his back. His blond hair shined in the sun as he took one last look back and waved to you.

That was a week ago.

He hasn't returned since.

SCREECH

"Who's there?!" You pointed your pen in the direction of the noise. Your eyes widened at what you found. A loud shout tore from your throat as you stumbled backward. "What the fuck?"

A dead body, preserved perfectly as if it was just slumbering, greeted you. The only way you knew it was a corpse was because of the lack of breathing and the unnatural paleness of their skin.

He had red hair that reminded you vividly of the apples on Epel's farm, but richer in hue. His hands were folded over his chest peacefully as if he was just sleeping. The corpse wore a white coat dress with a variety of interesting card-like patterns and yellow rims. There were many roses adorning his clothing that curled into itself as if they were dying alongside their owner.

Nothing but morbid curiosity brought you closer to the corpse. Floating the orb over him, your eyes scanned his body for any signs of struggle...only to find none.

"Strange."

You leaned in closer. "He looks as if he's sleeping...no bruises."

You bowed your head to the corpse, praying for the youthful-looking boy before dashing the hell out of there. But now that your paranoia caused the light to shine brighter, you saw more and more of the corpses lingering in the hallways. Some were lying against the wall while others were in the middle of the walkway. They all looked so different; you saw one with bright blue hair, another had wolfish ears, and two had identical turquoise blue hair with a streak of black.

"Oh Sevens, Rook! Where are you?" You practically sprinted to the largest double doors you've ever seen. Something was inscribed on them with gold; you didn't care to look and only grunted while pushing with all your might. In hindsight...you should have never ignored the warnings and the gruesome series of pictures. Most importantly, you should have noticed the golden apple with a dagger stabbed in the core. The apple...that had skull eyes staring blankly at the viewer.

"Nothing to lose, nothing to fear. "

You spun around in the empty throne room, shrieking 'Who's there?!' without a reply. Your chest heaved up and down as you shuddered in pure terror and fear. You couldn't even see Rook's body anywhere and a lone tear fell from your eyes. How could you face his parents? His siblings? They were all waiting for you to come back like a hero and with Rook in tow. How could you dare face them?

"The shining crown is meant for me."

Your back hit against something firm and human. With fear flooding your veins, you slowly turned around and let out the most heartwrenching scream.

"Rook!" You shook his shoulders. They were cold. Too cold. Your shaking hands cradled his chin and his head lolled to the side. His emerald eyes were half-lidded and the color seemed murky. Something whispered in your mind, slowly building in tempo and crescendo. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead.

"ROOK!"

You let out another cry and it echoed in Pomefiore's lonely walls. Suddenly, you didn't care about how cold his body was or how unnatural it felt. All you wanted to do was just have one last hug from your platonic soulmate, even though he had left you alone in this mortal realm. You needed him because he was your sun and you were the moon drawn to his charisma and power. You and Rook were inseparable from youth to now and you didn't want to change it anytime soon.

"Fairest One Of All."

You froze in Rook's cold embrace. Ice gripped your heart in terror and you could only let out shaky breaths that rattled your lungs.

Heels echoed on the marble floors of the throne room. You couldn't look; something had forced you to stay still. You didn't know if you were fortunate or unfortunate, fortunate to know that you wouldn't have to face the enemy and instead the last thing you saw was Rook's reassuring figure or unfortunate to have so much suspense grip your throat.

Poisonous, acidic air flooded the throne room and you hacked out coughs. Blood splattered Rook's purple robes and you only widened your eyes in horror. Your grip around the pen tightened but no spell or curse came to your rattled mind. Just pure terror.

"Fall asleep for all eternity. Wither away with your friends. Accompany me in my loneliness until my end."

Your eyes drooped by an unnatural force. You could feel your limbs slacking and the muscles relaxing to a frightening degree. Your head lolled forward, thumping against Rook's cold chest and your body flop sideways.

The last thing you saw before eternal slumber took you in their grasp was the most beautiful man with blond-fading-to-lavender locks.

Vil Schoenheit

Sleeping Beauty

____________________________________________________________

It has been many years since she had last felt somebody roam her hallways. Only a week ago, there was a young soul, burning with passion and youth, roaming her walls. Rook Hunt was the soul's name and he burned brighter like any fire she had ever seen. It was his fatal flaw and his greatest strength that brought him to his knees in the throne room - his wanting to explore and treasure every bit of beauty the world had to offer.

He had whispered something in French as his shaky hands touched the golden carvings on the walls and marveled over the paintings of old. She watched as he delicately cradled the artifacts and gracefully placed them back to where they belonged.

She watched as Sleeping Beauty got to him. Time and time again, these explorers could do nothing but succumb to Sleeping Beauty's magnificient power. Once upon a time, she would have clapped her hands with glee and tried to recruit him to her ranks. 'We would be unstoppable together' she would have said, eyes gleaming with promises. Now, she just mourns the loss of another soul, another death indirectly caused by her haunting beauty.

She rests, soul aging and tired. She couldn't do anything but let Sleeping Beauty roam her halls like a ghost, she was powerless to his magic as well.

Pomefiore weeps.

Somebody creeps across the drawbridge.

A new soul had arrived.

And Sleeping Beauty awakens once more.

[altocat]

on your pre and post degradation genesis- a lot of people really focus on him quoting loveless all the time and that's just his thing, but a friend pointed out to me that he's desperately clinging to a strong memory while his body and mind are Literally Falling Apart and Dying Holy Fuck. like how else would you cope with something like that but to cling to some kind of comfort that you can easily run through? i definitely think he'd be a guy to quote a lot of poetry for The Drama and The Flair but the gen we see in crisis core is clinging to any shred of humanity he can get a grasp on and it's all crumbling. and he knows that his childhood friend is going through the same thing but just a little to the left and also consuming him whole, and his rival is the only one who can save him but he's dealing with swiss cheese brain a little. we are all deep in ffvii to cope, i think in some cases you could argue loveless is gens Blorbos and Little Guys, and also his religious beliefs lol

just now realizing this might be read as aggressive or angry and i know im just an anon but this is just conversational! sorry that tone is really hard over text, i love so many gen interpretations but this is something that has Haunted me since i was introduced to crisis core. poor little apple juice boy....... i rotate him in my mind in a little taffy puller

I definitely think that Loveless is (and probably always was) his coping mechanism, the last shred of nobility he has to cling to. Even when his world is falling apart and his mind is being warped, it's his safe place, the spot he can return to where heroes are heroes and grand destinies and prophecies pave the paths of the righteous and unrighteous alike.

It's all he really has left. His family is gone. He's abandoned his titles and fame. He's burned his bridges. The only familiar comfort he has left belongs to that little book and the words it contains. It's the only thing that's really keeping him alive. Blind hope mixed with cynicism. He's not even sure what he believes in anymore. Only that he HAS to believe, even when he doesn't.

It's all he can do. All he can reach for.

The Gift of the Goddess.

[fanofstuff01]

Second part! I guess you can consider this as more of Hell’s story in Adamsapple x Chaggie AU? Or maybe this is the first part? I honestly have no idea. Read the other one here

Tags: @talesfromawannabejournalist @rius-cave (hope you don’t mind)

I’ll post the full first episode tomorrow by the way

Long, long time ago, there were lots of angels. One of them was Lucifer, with shining dreams and thoughts, also with a closeness to the first humans. They considered him as a troublemaker, but harmless.

Lucifer was happy with his life, honestly. Both Lilith and Adam treated him nicely, even if they didn’t kind of like each other. He didn’t want anything to change.

But then, he made the biggest mistake of his life. He slept with one of them.

He remembered nothing. All he could recall was getting seriously drunk, and rest was fuzzy. Then he woke up in the Garden, completely naked. No one was there. The worst part? He somehow had a fucking child from whoever he had sex with. He knew he was fucked in a bad way when he saw the little kid coming out of his hat.

Before dealing with Lucifer, Heaven wanted to get rid of the child immediately. But Lucifer refused. He told them he’d do anything for them to not kill the girl. She didn’t deserve that just because he was not careful.

Heaven said they’d accept Lucifer’s offer, but at a cost. She would have no idea who her parents was. Heaven would raise her, he would only be able to see her once a year, without her knowing. Lucifer and the human who broke the rules, however, would be banished from Heaven.

They were going to question all of them, but Lilith, the first woman, claimed it was her. And fell to hell with Lucifer.

Lilith’s actions were enough for authorities to question humanity’s loyalty, and the new woman, Eve eating the apple was the sugar on the cream. They were also punished.

Meanwhile, in Hell, Lucifer fell in love with Lilith. This was how they were supposed to be like, right? Also Lilith returned his feelings. Somehow.

As Hell’s population grew more and more, Heaven’s concern of a rebel did too. They wanted to sign a deal with either King or Queen of Hell, and managed to do with Lilith. When Lucifer found out, he was shocked and pissed.

Their relationship started to crumble, more fights appearing. Lilith said this would be the best, meanwhile Lucifer defended their people. And then, she left, leaving a devastated, life meaningless Lucifer behind.

One day, he was walking down the streets, thinking to do the worst to himself. But he decided not to when he found a certain angel demon at there. Adam. The first man. Who was there as a sinner because he was against the genocide holy people doing.

Is this great? I hope so

[tonydaddingham]

the more that ive thought about it (it of course being the argument clip), the more that i need to get something off my chest and defend aziraphale - not necessarily against anyone, not saying anyone is attacking him, but whilst crowley is my special apple crimble crumble boy, aziraphale is the goodest lil dude and there is nothing i wouldn't do for that messy man-

i think what a lot people forget about aziraphale is that he is so fucking clever, he is arguably more intelligent than crowley, but has the irksome, painful dichotomy of being kind. what kinda upset me in the clip is that crowley almost addresses aziraphale as if he's stupid, when he's anything but. aziraphale is fully aware that gabriel, michael, uriel etc are all wankers, he's not oblivious to it, but aziraphale is an unfailingly empathetic and compassionate angel, and will try to always see the best in people.

the fandom sometimes mistakes this for naivety or even ignorance, and it's not - aziraphale is not naive, he knows that these angels are shits and treat him poorly, but aziraphale has a pretty strong view on what an angel should be, what they should embody, and even though he knows deep down these other angels don't really follow the same blueprint, he hopes and he tries to remain optimistic and see the best in them. he hopes to be forgiven for his trespasses just as he forgives those who trespass against him✨

and so by the end of s1 i think he really does give up on being an angel ("just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" got the most satisfied, bashful grin on him we've ever seen) and instead is just a good person. and i think crowley fails to realise or accept this - not bc he's stupid either, but i think he sometimes really underestimates aziraphale and possibly because he thinks (possibly due to his own trauma- the apocalypse as well as the Fall) that god will never love a being that isn't good and godly at the same time. he can't accept that that the two things, being good and being godly, are entirely different concepts, and that in aziraphale the two must go hand in hand.

aziraphale understands the difference, and knows that he can still be loved by god even if he doesn't align himself with heaven anymore. so therefore its a real foreign idea, a ludicrous concept, to crowley that aziraphale is still being kind to gabriel, being compassionate, when in his mind this is the angel that wanted to kill them both and is a first class wanker to boot.

but i think that does actually show that, not in any way maliciously or intentionally but likely just as a projection borne out of anger and possibly self-hatred, crowley is thinking appalling little of aziraphale right now. does he really believe that the angel that he slithered up next to on the wall and who not only didn't smite him on sight but also conversed with him and listened to him and sheltered him from the first rain whilst not even bothering to shelter himself is incapable of being kind without being heaven's puppet?

so yes i totally get where crowley is coming from, and whilst it kills me a little inside to think that crowley might consider himself so unworthy of kindness and affection unless it originates from a systematic compulsive side effect of being a Holy Entity, i think he's being grossly unfair to aziraphale in not realising even after 6000 years of knowing him that aziraphale might just simply be a really kind person.

[pigeonstab]

I have a question about the new cycle of twins situation! It might have been covered already cause it's been a long time since I've seen those posts about it and also I left my brain at work, when Nightmare died did Dream die too or is he still out there? Also are they still guardians of positive and negative feelings or do they have different domains? :o

It has been covered but I'll say it again because holy shit that was in April. Dream did die when Nightmare did, it's the way the multiverse has in place to keep the balance. I imagine he turned to stone and crumbled. And the only reason he was turned to stone the first time was because of the apple accident, what happened to Nightmare wasn't death but it was enough to cause a misfire of that one failsafe the multiverse has in place if that makes sense. And they have the same role as Nightmare and Dream did with positivity and negativity.

[autisticskeleton-s]

Good Omens season 2 is about what religious trauma does to indoctrinated people, and here’s why.

so i finally watched Good Omens after my friends BEGGED me to ever since the first season first dropped and even though the ending stabbed me in the balls repeatedly for several hours i can’t help but marvel about how genius the ending really is and how crucial it is to both Aziraphale and Crowley as characters

i was hesitant to watch this show bc i was indoctrinated and conditioned by evangelicalism from birth (i’m literally the kid of two ex-missionaries and my dad was a chaplain for 36 years) and i knew that i could easily get triggered if i wasn’t careful.

i’m so glad i watched this show. there’s many reasons but i really just wanna talk about the ending of s2 aka The Divorce. it went entirely over my friends heads bc none of them grew up in the church but when i watched the ending it felt like i was watching pieces of myself at war with each other even though they didn’t want to be. to me, i was watching two people so broken by heaven and hell that they don’t understand that what they’re doing is hurting themselves more than it’s hurting each other. this is a pretty long ramble so i’ll continue under the cut

Aziraphale and Crowley are two halves of the same coin (literally soulmates) and are narrative foils to each other. obviously right, i mean, everyone noticed that. but what they truly represent in the grand scheme of things is the fallout of religious trauma. Crowley has seen the absolute Worst of heaven and the angels. he’s been outcast, scorned, and tortured for (assuming based on the opening scene of season 2) simply asking questions and questioning his faith. Aziraphale is the poster child of what a good angel is in the eyes of heaven and has reaped the benefits for millennia.

what is happening here is a war between two halves of a whole, Denial vs Bitterness.

as a young child it was drilled into my head over and over that my faith had to be as strong as a rock all the time or i would crumble like sand. i idolized all the bible characters and memorized all the verses and did all the good and right things i was supposed to. i was a standard in all the churches i went to, i was the example of what a good christian was, and i knew it.

then, over time, i began to see behind the curtain on what was really going on in the church and i was devastated. how could something based on love do all of that? why am i so scared to think freely? why do i feel like i can never be good enough? the more i questioned the more shame i felt and the more bitter i became, but i longed to go back to that innocence of being the best little christian kid in the church.

Aziraphale cannot truly comprehend the uncomfortable reality that what he’s been subscribing to all this time isn’t good for him. heaven has been hurting him for a long time and he doesn’t understand that. how can something he thinks is so right, so true, so good hurt him and his friends so much? no, it must be something he’s done right? it must be some bad apples right? the whole orchard can’t be bad right? he just has to fix this. he just has to make it better for him and for Crowley and then everything will be ok again.

Crowley can’t wrap his mind around why Aziraphale cares so fucking much. hasn’t he seen what heaven and hell have done? they barely stopped the end of the fucking world!!! they tried to destroy both of them with holy water and hellfire!!!!! they’re still trying to meddle in their personal lives after everything!!! why is Aziraphale so stubborn???? why does he choose something so asinine over him? Crowley has been there for Aziraphale a hell of a lot more than heaven has, can’t he see that?

both of them are hurting deep down into their very souls and they just can’t see it. that’s what religious trauma does to you. it strips you so bare of your personhood that without your religion, who are you? without your god, you’re just an empty shell. you’re nothing without “us”, without the church.

without Aziraphale trying and failing to fix heaven, he’s never gonna understand how corrupt of a system it all is.

without Crowley learning that Aziraphale is hurting just as much as he is, he’s never gonna learn that Aziraphale really had his best intentions at heart and just wanted to do what he thought was the good thing

without both of them realizing that they’re both wrong, they’re never gonna come together and really stand up for themselves and for their friends and for earth as a whole. without this grief, without this pain, without this separation, they’re never going to be truly free

and i, for one, cannot wait to see them kick some ass when they decide that enough is enough

[okay-j-hannah]

Part 1: An Academic

The Hobbit / Doctor Who : Multishot

The Company x Reader x Tenth Doctor

Word Count: 5315

Warnings:

Request: “Hi so know this is a bit of a weird one but could I request maybe a two part type thing or it can just be super long if that’s easier for you. But the reader is from earth but finds herself in middle earth and help’s reclaim Erebor but gets sent back and then around the 10 years later or something they meet the doctor (you pick on what doctor) and he takes her to middle earth but it’s set in the lotr time and they are just confused at how much has changed and that they get to meet the company and they are happy to know that they are alive and refuse to believe that they have grown up. If it’s too much then don’t worry about it and have a good day/night and drink some water :)” @tree0frog

A/N:

(Y/N) bit into an apple, crisp and sweet as she jogged up the steps of the apartment complex. She used her keycard to scan the lock, entering her humble student housing. It was by no means a luxury with it’s outdated appliances, shotty internet, and suspicious black spots growing on the shower walls.

But it was what she could afford considering the part time job, full time student schedule, and car payments. She was just thankful to have a private room.

She finished her apple and sought the computer to finish a few homework assignments. Having just started her first semester of college, she made it a goal to prioritize schoolwork.

Of course, there was nothing wrong with watching something while finishing an essay. She opened a streaming service and found the Hobbit trilogy, letting the droll of dwarves and the fire of dragons fill the background as she typed away.

The endearing antics of Bilbo making her smile while the stories of Bofur made her laugh. Her eyes whipped to spot the scenes containing the line of Durin: Thorin’s wavy hair or Kili’s beautiful face.

She began to hum the tune of Misty Mountains, standing to find herself a drink. She went for her bedroom door –

Far over the Misty Mountains cold,

To dungeons deep and caverns old.

We must away ‘ere break of day,

To find our long, forgotten gold.

(Y/N) walked through the door and screamed.

“Holy shit!” She danced on her bare feet, feeling soil and weeds tickle her toes. She was covering her face, suddenly blinded by a harsh orange light.

Her heart was beating so fast it was propelling itself into her throat. She began to blink rapidly, adjusting to her new surroundings.

She was outside on a rocky outcrop. A nearby ledge spoke of the base of mountains. Sparse pine trees and crumbling rock descended to a wide stretch of field land below. Birds could be heard near the pinecones and snapping twigs told of life all around her. The overwhelming orange glow that attacked her sight turned out to be the setting sun.

It blazoned the horizon with its ombre of colors, quickly fading into pink and violet. It flooded the surrounding land, not a house or building to be seen.

(Y/N) gapped, inaudible noises falling from her open lips. She whirled around, seeking the chipped bedroom door she had just walked through. But there was nothing but the steady incline of the rocky mountainside behind her.

“What in the…” she gasped, “What?” She raised a hand and touched her face, prodding at the soft skin there. It felt real. She reached out and touched the pine needles of a nearby tree. It poked her finger, acute and sharp. That felt real too.

“Did I fall asleep at my computer?” she whispered to herself. She pinched at her arm, “Am I dreaming?”

She suddenly slapped at her face, gasping at the sting. “There’s no way this is real.”

But the chill of the coming night air was prickling her bare legs and feet. She was wearing nothing but her pajamas, a sweatshirt with her college logo on it and a pair of black shorts.

“Am I just disassociating?” she questioned, “Have I just fallen into my imagination?”

A terrible growl reverberated between the jagged slopes of the mountainside. It was so low and menacing it grumbled in her abdomen. It made her jump.

“Oh, god.” She found her feet beginning to descend the rocky outcrop, arms flailing to keep her balance, “God tell me there isn’t something chasing me.”

She winced and groaned as little pebbles and sharp needles stuck in her feet. The large rock mounds were becoming smaller as more and more pine trees grew from the ground. (Y/N) ran towards the open field, at least getting away from whatever the terrible growl was.

“I’ve finally lost my mind,” she decided, “It’s been a week and college already broke me.”

Her feet slid against the loose soil, toes jabbing into rocks. Spiney branches of pine needles snagged at her hair and sweatshirt. Another spine tingling growl bounced through the air, making her squeal and stumble.

One of her feet dug into a tree root, throwing her into the ground. She rolled down a portion of the mountainside, nearing the bottom. Gasping and crying all the while, she landed in a heap near the beginnings of long field grass.

She could already feel the bruises forming along her joints, but her bare legs had the worst of it. Long jagged cuts and scrapes covered her skin.

The newfound pain combined with the rising paranoia sent crazed tears to her eyes. “Can someone please tell me what is happening?” The answering roar was not the response she was hoping for.

It sent her scrambling to her feet, “I magically appear on the Rocky Mountains and a grizzly bear decides to hunt me.” She began treading more carefully through the grass, “Definitely not how I pictured spending my Saturday night.”

She spent the next hour limping about the tall, sage green grasses. Bunches of lavender and daisies led her to a tree line much different to the pine of the mountain. Broad leafy branches provided cover as she followed the sound of trickling water.

Resting at a pebbled stream, she drank her fill and took the time to clean her wounds, scrubbing away the grimy feeling of dirt.

“I haven’t seen a single road or car or building,” she thought, “There’s got to be a city nearby.”

The sky was now a deep purple – soon it would be blue black with night. If she didn’t find refuge somewhere then she’d fall prey to wandering beasts and the bitter cold.

Using the last hour to collect her thoughts, (Y/N) found her shock wearing off. Replacing it was the instincts to survive no matter how unbelievable the transition from bedroom to the wilderness was.

She followed the stream until something other than the periodical growl caught her attention.

A deep round of laughter.

She limped towards the noise – where there was laughter there had to be people that could help her.

She was cautious as the sound of conversation accompanied the laughs. Loud, bellowing voices led her out from behind the trees. In the distance she could see a house, complete with a barn, wooden fences, and wandering cattle.

Near the entrance was a pile of logs, a trio of men collecting what appeared to be firewood. One was slumped to the ground trying to hold the many planks of wood. The other two were tossing an axe between them and laughing merrily.

“How do you fair folk get wood for your furnaces?” one said with mirth, a scottish accent to his words.

“You can hardly carry three logs,” the other added, swinging the axe. He tossed another cut piece at their third companion.

The shortest of the three attempted to catch the wood, but failed miserably as he was put off balance and crashed to the ground.

“Blasted dwarves,” he muttered, “And your ridiculous fondness of axe wielding.”

(Y/N) scrunched her brow, spying on them from the bushes. Dwarves?

“Come now, Mr. Baggins,” a braided dwarf said, “We’ve all got to pitch in to help our host.”

“Yeah, I don’t fancy being eaten,” the younger dwarf said.

(Y/N) was blinking hard. Did that dwarf just say Mr. Baggins?

“He’s not going to eat us,” said the dwarf with braids. They were sticking rather funnily out from under his hat. “Though I wouldn’t want to anger him by any means. Not out here at night.”

After a great deal of squinting, (Y/N) could now see who she believed to be a Mr. Bilbo Baggins readjusting planks of firewood in his arms.

He huffed, “Best get back inside. Shall we?”

The younger dwarf was still swinging the axe in a manner of showing off. In a swift throw he had the blade imbedded into the ground at Bilbo’s feet.

“Oi, watch it!” cried the hobbit.

The hat wearing dwarf burst into laughter despite the scolding of his words, “Now, Kili – what would we do without our burglar? I hear his feet are his best asset. He’ll be useless in a heist without them!”

Kili returned the laughter, clapping his friend on the shoulder and saying, “Apologies, Bilbo, but you should see the look on your face.”

(Y/N) was slowly revealing herself from behind the bushes, her mind whirring a million miles an hour. If the young, dark-haired dwarf was Kili, then the hat wearing dwarf had to be Bofur. She knew all of them.

All three of them were characters in the movie she was just watching.

That meant that those mountains behind her weren’t the Rocky Mountains… they were the Misty Mountains. And the wide expanse of land that didn’t have any bustling cities or busy roads… that was Middle Earth. And the house that hosted the company, that had to be the home of Beorn.

Beorn the skin changer. He was the terrible growl that she kept hearing in the woods.

This was the beginning of The Desolation of Smaug, and the company was taking refuge before venturing towards Mirkwood.

No, hang on a moment. This was absurd! How could she have walked through her bedroom door and have ended up on the slopes of the Misty Mountains? Sure she was watching the movie when she left, but how could that have…

She put a hand to her head, watching the trio of company members decide to return inside for the night. Her feet started moving against her will.

“Ex-Excuse me,” she whispered, clearing her throat to say it louder. “Excuse me!”

The three characters turned to her voice with quick precision, their previous laughter missing from their faces. Bofur was the first to speak – kind words with a hint of hesitance in them.

“Evening, lass,” he smiled though it didn’t reach his normally jovial eyes. “Who might you be?”

“I’m…” she swallowed hard, “My name is (Y/N). I’m not from around here. And I’m lost.”

Kili darted his eyes to her bare legs before trying to keep them resolutely on her face, “Pardon me, miss. But where are the rest of your skirts?”

(Y/N) tugged on her sweatshirt sleeves, letting them consume her hands, “I’m afraid I have nothing but shorts.”

“Shorts?” Bofur tested the word, “What are shorts?”

“Ah, they’re trousers, but cut at a short length.”

“Why in the name of Durin would you want that?” Bofur snorted. “It’s freezing outside.”

(Y/N) felt her cheek twitch in an almost smile, “Yes, I’ve figured that much out.” She gazed down at her legs, “I’ve been robbed of my supplies and have been wandering these woods for hours. I ask only for a place to stay the night, please.”

Bilbo began looking between his companions, expecting them to answer her instantly. But when they did nothing but contemplate her, he piped up, “Of course you can come in.” He scolded the dwarves, “Honestly, you two.”

“Now Bilbo,” Bofur said loudly, “We don’t know this lassie.”

“And she doesn’t know us,” Bilbo said firmly, “I’m not about to let this poor woman freeze to death.” He nodded towards (Y/N), “My dear, let’s go find you some proper clothes.”

“It’s not our house,” Kili said, still flustered by (Y/N)’s lack of pants. “We can’t accept new guests without consulting the host!”

Bilbo beckoned (Y/N) with his hands full of firewood, “He’s rather busy at the moment seeing as he’s currently a bear and all.”

That finally got a smile out of her even if the dwarves were still suspicious of her. She didn’t blame them – dwarves were a race full of pride and secrets, they don’t easily trust a newcomer.

“I’m very grateful,” she said to them, following Bilbo. “Really I am. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I hadn’t come across you chopping wood.”

Bofur trailed behind, “Have you got a limp there, lass?”

“I took a tumble down the mountain,” she said quietly, “I wouldn’t recommend it.”

Kili snorted, then shook his head as if he weren’t supposed to find suspicious strangers funny.

“We can get you on the mend,” Bilbo said, almost like a mother hen. “There’s plenty here to share.”

“How we’ll explain it to the others, I don’t know,” Bofur sighed, “Thorin won’t be pleased.”

“He’s hardly ever pleased these days,” Kili muttered, helping to open the door.

Inside the great wooden front doors was an oversized house. Everything was a size too big, even for a human. But it had that rich oak atmosphere where everything was warm and alight with the glow of the fire.

There were large wolf hounds guarding the entrances and ginormous bumblebees buzzing about the rafters and open windows. She could see the heads of cows popping in for a visit and a dwarf or two was feeding them straw.

The hoard of dwarves congregated mostly by the roaring fireplace, attempting to sit at too large of chairs.

(Y/N) was finding her eyes darting from one face to the next, cataloguing the familiar characters. Dwalin was sharpening a battle axe apparently ignoring the fussing tone of Dori beside him. Oin was stoking the flames while his brother Gloin was eyeing the fine gold plated jewelry box atop the mantelpiece.

Nori was polishing a thing of silver, admiring its shine while his younger brother Ori was scribbling away in his journal. Bombur and Bifur were washing dishes at the sink, which was the size of a bathtub and required both dwarves to stand on stools to reach. This left Thorin, Fili, and Balin – all three of them conversing quietly at the table.

“Right then,” Bilbo huffed, dumping his armful of wood. “You’re taller than me,” he addressed (Y/N), “But I suppose one of my shirts might fit you better than a dwarf.”

Bofur and Kili were sharing looks as their companions sensed the shift in atmosphere. Dwalin stood, battle axe poised in his hands in his most threatening stance.

Ori’s charcoal pencil paused in its scribbling, catching the attention of those beside him at the fireplace.

“What is this?” Gloin grumbled behind his bushy beard.

The table of conversers lifted their heads from where they were bent together. (Y/N) swallowed hard, looking to each with very clear fear in her gaze.

Bilbo was completely unbothered, rummaging in his pack for some extra clothes, “Some suspenders will help, but we’ll have to hem a pair of pants to fit you.”

“What have you done?” came the low growl of Thorin Oakenshield.

(Y/N) tugged on her clothes, suddenly wishing to be as small as possible.

Balin put a hand on Thorin’s arm, “Who have you brought with you, cousin?”

“Someone lost in the woods,” Bofur said awkwardly, picking at his knitted gloves, “She was seeking shelter.”

Thorin stood, hulking in his furs, “Is that all?”

“Where do you come from, lassie?” Dwalin drawled, moving to stand beside his king. “You and your strange clothes.”

(Y/N) mumbled as she searched for her voice. “I was – was in the Misty Mountains. Attempting to scale them, more like.” She blessed her knowledge of Middle Earth. “I was ravaged by goblins and sent tumbling down the mountain.”

“Goblins don’t leave their tunnels,” Nori said lowly, “They’d burn in the sun.”

“I was caught resting in a cave,” (Y/N) said quickly. She had to stop herself from adding, ‘that’s what happened to you guys too, right?’

Balin seemed more content with that answer, “Sounds like goblins well enough.”

“But your attire,” Gloin grumbled, “It’s not of any style I’ve seen on this earth.”

“The stitching is immaculate,” Fili remarked, “The lettering is such a strange pattern.”

That’s because it was mass produced by a mechanical sewing machine, (Y/N) thought. “This is the lettering of my house,” she gestured to the college logo, “I come from a family of academics.” She prayed that was believable, “We have some rather eccentric ways of thinking. That includes the evolution of clothing.”

Some of the dwarves became lost in that statement, clearly not as versed in academics and sciences. But others like Ori and Balin were intrigued, Bilbo as well as he produced a linen shirt and suspenders.

“I’ve never heard of such a house,” Balin mused, stroking his mighty beard. “Not in all my years working with genealogies.”

(Y/N) bit the inside of her cheek, “We are but a few. We created our own sigil and broke away from others to form our house.”

“How do we know this isn’t some trick,” Dwalin glowered, “I would like to know why this academic decided to venture over the mountains alone.”

She felt scrutinized under every eye in the house, it was making her quiver.

Bilbo was scolding everyone again, “For goodness sake,” he muttered, “Can’t you see she’s cold and injured. Honestly, don’t any of you have manners for the lady.” He offered the linen shirt and (Y/N) promptly held it to shield her legs from view.

Kili seemed torn between being a gentleman and respecting his uncle’s hesitance. In the end his conscious won, nudging (Y/N) to stand behind him.

“There’s no harm in providing her some supplies and a place to stay. We can consult our host in the morning.”

(Y/N) was feeling cornered. Did she tell them the truth? No, they’d never believe her. Does she reveal that she knows them all? That she knows their fate? She eyed the back of Kili’s head, envisioning what was to become of him during the Battle of the Five Armies.

“I don’t blame your suspicion,” she said quietly, “I know who you are and what you are trying to reclaim.”

Kili sidestepped to reveal her face. “What?”

Thorin growled, “Impossible.”

“She is an academic,” Ori muttered.

“What do you know?” Fili asked.

(Y/N) licked her lips, choosing her words carefully. “You are the company of Thorin Oakenshield. You’re on your way to reclaim Erebor beneath the Lonely Mountain. The throne of Thror, grandfather of your rightful king.”

Tension was building in the house, tangible in the way shoulders straightened and hands went for their weapons.

“I study tales and stories from all over Middle Earth. I know of all its secrets.”

“And I suppose you thought you could reclaim the treasure for yourself,” Dwalin said, “Seeing as you have such a wealth of knowledge to guide your path.”

“No,” she said loudly, “I only have an interest. I have no wish for glory. There is a dragon in that mountain, you know – how could I approach it all by myself.”

Oin said gruffly, “There is word that the dragon might’ve moved on. Birds have been…”

“… seen flocking to the mountain,” she finished, “That’s doesn’t mean anything. Believe me there’s still a dragon there asleep.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Dori asked.

“I told you, I come from a house of academics. We have eyes everywhere and they send us knowledge from all over the world.”

Balin harumphed, “Spies. The lot of you are spies.”

“In a way,” she muttered, “I grew tired of reading things secondhand. I wanted to experience it for myself. That is why I left my home.”

Bofur chuckled, “For someone so knowledgeable, you seem to have fallen short in your survival.”

She smiled warily, “It’s apparent I don’t have skill as a traveler. But I am still valuable.” She eyed Thorin, “I know the path your taking and the perils you’ll meet on the way. I know all the people you’ll converse with and the kingdoms you’ll pass through. I could help.”

“What is your name, lass?” Balin asked.

“(Y/N),” she said.

The old dwarf considered her before speaking, “Well, Kili – let’s get a pair of your pants and hem them for (Y/N).”

“Um…” Kili whipped his head around, eyeing his uncle as he said, “Yeah, of course.”

Bilbo held his head up, exasperated that it took that long to assist her. “Her legs will need tending as well.”

Thorin kept his piercing gaze on (Y/N) as she was led to the fireplace where Oin could mend her injuries. Balin and Fili kept his head level as they discussed the possible benefits of this new traveler.

(Y/N) spent the rest of the night conversing with the dwarves and Bilbo. They shared bread and honey with her as she wove an imaginative tale of where she came from and where she was going.

All she could think was how grateful she was for making the night.

~~~

They had made it to the woodland kingdom of Mirkwood, full of the arrogant, secretive elves under Thranduil’s reign. (Y/N) knew how they’d lock the dwarves up just for being of the opposing race.

She also knew that Bilbo had found the One Ring and was currently using it to remain invisible.

“Listen to me, Bilbo,” she had said to him the morning before being ambushed by the Mirkwood spiders. “In the Woodland Realm there is a river you can access through the wine cellar. Should we ever find the need for escape from that place, the barrels can be used to float down the river.”

Bilbo had looked at her with such clear confusion, still being affected by the poisonous air of Mirkwood, “How do you know that?”

She smiled at him, eyeing his pocket that concealed the ring, “We all have our secrets.”

He scrunched his face in thought as she led the company back through the forest.

Now slumped against the wall of the prison cell, (Y/N) hummed to herself, thinking of all the things she yearned from her past life. A hot bath with that lovely soap she got from the mall. Clothes warm from the dryer as she sang to her favorite playlist. Fast food she picked up on her way home.

“We’re never getting out of here,” Ori moaned in the cell across from her.

“I refuse to die by the hands of those prissy long eared fiends,” Dwalin grumbled. “We’ll find a way through these walls.”

“Yes, you will,” (Y/N) whispered to herself, banging her head against the cave wall.

She didn’t think anyone heard her until Balin muttered through the connecting window between their cells.

“What was that, lass?” he shifted closer, “How can you be sure?”

She choked on her words, “I have faith.”

“Hm…” Balin hummed, “You seem to have many predictions that have come to pass. Gandalf leaving us before Mirkwood…”

(Y/N) started rubbing at her temples, “I overheard him saying something.”

“The fact we would get lost in those woods.”

“Everyone gets lost in those woods.”

Balin chuckled, “How we would be captured by the elf king’s son. That Bilbo would somehow not be with us.”

She sighed, “Are you trying to make a point, master dwarf?”

The old dwarf paused, “I feel as though your circumstances arriving to this place are not what they seem.”

“What do you believe them to be?”

“I’m not accusing you of anything, lassie. But I do wish you would be honest with me.”

She continued to bang her head against the cave wall, trying to will some inspired lie to grace her tongue. But her crafted mask was so layered it was exhausting to keep it on. She wanted to tell someone the truth.

“I come from a place very far from here.”

Balin remained silent for a minute, “We may be locked in here a while longer – I’m settled for a good story.”

“Yes, Bilbo will be here shortly.”

“How can you know that?” Balin chuckled again.

(Y/N) shrugged, unable to see any of her companions past her cell. “I just do. The elf guards are going to overindulge on wine as Bilbo makes his way down here to rescue us. He’ll take us to the cellars to escape.”

There was silence as the information was processed.

“Where I come from,” (Y/N) said quietly, “It’s a different universe. I’m not sure if you have a concept of what universes are.” She laughed to herself, “I’ve only ever seen them in movies.”

“Movies?” Balin questioned, “Never heard of such a thing.”

“It’s a form of storytelling, like a play. Everyone has scripts and costumes and characters to portray. They tell stories for others to watch.” She didn’t dare touch the subject of cameras and technology. “One day I was watching one of these movies. One of my favorites.”

She stared up at the ceiling, “And when I walked through my bedroom door, I ended up inside the movie.”

Balin cleared his throat, “Inside the story?”

“Yes,” she said, “I somehow got sucked into one of my favorite stories, in the middle of the act. And I know everything that’s going to happen because I’ve seen the story so many times. I know all the characters and their path forward and what happens to them all.”

Balin kept his voice steady, “Such as how they get captured and how they escape?”

She laughed sadly, “Exactly.”

“Seems like witchcraft to me,” Balin muttered, “Something fit for the wizard to explain.”

“It’s hard to believe, I know.”

She couldn’t possibly know that just about every dwarf in those cells were listening in on their conversation.

“So far, lassie, your knowledge has kept us safe. It’s kept us hopeful while trapped in these cells.”

“You don’t think I’m insane.”

“Perhaps a little,” Balin smiled, “But I do know there are things you say that are unexplainable.”

And the dwarves all kept to themselves until the fateful moment that Bilbo reappeared with a dramatic flourish, keys in hand. He saved the day, unlocking all the cells until he reached (Y/N)’s.

He thrust the door open, “(Y/N)! You were right. The elves are drunken on wine down below. We can sneak into the cellar and ride the barrels out of here.”

(Y/N) shared a look with Balin, oblivious to how many of the other dwarves had similar interactions.

“Lead the way,” Balin said, “We trust you.”

And their journey forward was marked with orcs and elves alike. (Y/N) made a great effort to save Kili from getting an arrow stuck in his leg. They tumbled and rolled through the rapids, bobbing in their barrels.

(Y/N), considerably less stable then the dwarves, fell into the water, her head slamming into the surrounding rocks. She hissed, inhaling a mouthful of water, burning a path down to her lungs.

A sturdy hand reached into the river and pulled her up from the depths. It was Fili, dragging her onto the slippery shoreline.

Spluttering water from her lungs, she groped Fili’s arm for support, “Is Kili okay?”

“What do you mean?” the blonde brother questioned, “Where is he?”

Kili came sliding to his knees, beside her, “I’m perfectly alright,” he said, “But I don’t believe you are.”

(Y/N) sighed in relief, ending in a fit of coughs. She went to hug the brothers, “Then I did it.” She muttered into their soaking wet linens, “I can change the future.”

“What are you going on about?” Kili wheezed, trying to yank (Y/N)’s fingers from his back.

Thorin came tromping towards them, “Precisely.” He towered over them, “Explain yourself.”

(Y/N) stared up at him, a torrent of fear washing away the relief on her face. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Enough,” the king said, “We all heard you in the dungeons, girl. We know there is something mysterious about you. We know you seem to believe to come from a strange different world. That you are able to predict things with unnerving accuracy.”

She was now surrounded by fourteen dripping companions, many torn between their growing fondness of her and their superstitions.

“How did you save Kili?” Thorin growled, “As you were just so relieved about.”

(Y/N) calmed her breath, a pounding in the back of her head. “The way the story goes – Kili was meant to be impaled by one of those orcish arrows, in the leg. It would be poisoned and would slowly begin to kill him.”

Fili grabbed his brother’s shoulder, bending down to look at his legs.

“I’m fine,” Kili said quickly, spotting more family members wishing to inspect him themselves. “I would have felt an arrow sticking out of my leg.”

(Y/N) wringed her hands together, “By the time you got to Lake Town he would’ve been incapacitated. It would require healing from one of the Mirkwood elves to save him. You would leave him in the town with some of your companions while the rest of you continued towards the mountain.”

“We would do no such thing,” Dori said, “We’d never leave our brothers behind.”

“You would if he was ill enough to hinder the journey. And with your belief that the dragon is gone, you wouldn’t need your full numbers to investigate Erebor. But you will be sorely mistaken. You’ll awaken the dragon and reign death and destruction across the people of Lake Town.”

Thorin took a few menacing steps towards her, eyeing her down with a piercing blue gaze. He sought any trace of deception in her face. He called upon all the times they were together, her stories by the fire, the care she showed towards the company, the motives for every kind act.

“Your head,” he said quietly, finally backing down, “You’re bleeding.”

She gulped, moving a few fingers to the pounding of her head. They came back red with blood. “That explains the growing headache.”

Thorin chuckled. He actually chuckled. “Tend to your wounds. We’ll need to move in an hours’ time.”

She nodded, “Thank you.” Fili and Kili remained by her side, lowering her to the ground. Bofur came around kneeling beside her as Oin gave orders for herbs that could be found along the tree line.

“You alright, lass?” Bofur asked, hand on hers, “I thought perhaps your journey with us was over.”

“I will be fine,” she said, feeling Kili grasp her shoulder.

“How can you know that?” the younger brother said, “Have you ever been a part of this story before?”

(Y/N) felt a trickled of fear, “No, I’ve only ever watched it. I don’t know what becomes of me.”

“But you know what becomes of us,” Fili said quietly, “Would you be able to tell us how the story ends?”

Her eyes flew to Fili’s face, young and full of promise. To Kili’s roguish eyes and lopsided smile. To Thorin a few feet away, standing firm with orders to his company.

She tried to keep the tremble from her voice, “I could. But I don’t know if I should.”

~~~

(Y/N) was stuck in Middle Earth for the coming weeks and months. She traveled with the company of Thorin Oakenshield all the way to the Lonely Mountain. She bonded with Bard and his children, she discovered the secret door into Erebor, she helped Bilbo sneak around Smaug, and she concealed the Arkenstone when Thorin fell prey to the dragon sickness.

In the coming days leading up to the Battle of the Five Armies, she gave sound advice to Fili and Kili, begging them to remain in certain areas. She tried to tell them with her eyes rather than her words that she was trying to save their lives.

But she never got to see the actual battle.

In a strange turn of events, she fell asleep against the makeshift barrier of Erebor’s gate. Fell asleep against the gate but woke up someplace else.

Her face was stuck to a keyboard, “Oh god,” she groaned. Her neck was stiff as she peeled her cheek away from the keys, “What the hell?”

She was facing the computer in her bedroom, one side of her screen rolling the credits of the last Hobbit movie.

“Did I…?” she blinked, “Was I asleep the whole time?”

Had she really dreamed months of her life in one sitting?

~~~

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[naamahdarling]

What would you make for a potluck dinner?

Baked apples with crumble topping!

They are SO GOOD! Tender but not mushy. Not as good reheated but still extremely delicious. They don't necessarily look pretty if you cook a bunch together and aren't doing fancy plating but holy crap they taste good and go over REALLY well.

3 apples sliced top to bottom

1 Tbsp brown sugar

1/4 tsp cinnamon

Crumble Topping:

1 stick butter

3/4 c flour

3/4 c brown sugar

1/2c old fashioned oats

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/8 tsp salt

Heat oven to 375.

Cut apples top to bottom and remove core with spoon. Place halves cut side up in lightly greased pan and sprinkle with 1T brown sugar and 1/4 tsp cinnamon.

In a medium pan or small saucepan, melt the butter, then add flour, brown sugar, oats, salt, and cinnamon.

Add topping to the apples and press it down.

Cover with foil and bake for 25 minutes.

Remove foil, cook for another 20-30 minutes until apples are as soft as you want them.