#holly would babble on

[hollywooddemonslayer]

Sydney Sweeney via IG story (2023)

[roseverdict]

when you're scrambling to get something done at the cost of your sleep, don't listen to the little voice pointing out how warm and toasty a blanket around your shoulders would be. that's the devil talking

[wildfangz]

Working again on the Base Game Revamp, and I mentioned creating the Altos a while back to own any rental properties in Willow Creek. I'll include some unedited previews below but their family biography so far just to give you a taste of what I'm going for here:

Vita and Nick have had it out for the Goths ever since the two families ended up neighbors, a reaction to the family's peculiarities, "Obnoxious behavior" as Nick puts it, and the Alto's own jealousy. Thus began a mostly one-sided rivalry, aside from the occasional mischievous play-along from Bella. But with their daughter Holly being best friends with Cassandra Goth, will they set aside their differences? Or will they double down?

[bonefall]

Unrelated to the new book blurb:

do you have any tips on processing the absolute mess that is the family tree? Like, how does one put it into smaller bites for re-doing/adjusting? How does one even begin to rework it when it's such a confusing tangle?? I'm just so overwhelmed by the tree(s), and I've read the whole series (because I would love to re-work it, but FUCK).

I will be 100% earnest with you; reworking the tree from scratch as a single person is both difficult and time consuming. I have a penchant for it, and even I'm not completely done. I make my reduxed trees totally free to use so that others at least have a jumping-off point for your own "cleaner" Clans.

So my most helpful tip would probably be Don't. PLEASE take my trees and cut them, prune them, bonsai them, clean them up even more than I did, anything you'd like. I do not wish this fate on my worst enemy.

That said-- let's say you love pain as much as I do, or you just want to see how much work I put into these trees. I'll babble about my process.

This is my WIP file for the ShadowClan Family Tree. Consider this image a content warning for self-inflicted pain and suffering 💕

Uhhh and also; an ACTUAL, serious content warning. Because of the nature of them asking how to fix trees on their own, I have to talk a little about incest. It comes with the territory.

A few things to know before you start;

You will need a FUCK OFF MASSIVE monitor for this. Mine is an ASUS a little under 2 feet long-- I've tried doing this on my smaller, secondary monitor, and these trees just get too big to work on.

FamilyEcho will not cut it. You NEED an art program. You will have to do this by hand, because there is no lineage-drawing tool that can handle families this large and tangled.

You will need to decide your "rules" beforehand. How closely related are you allowing valid couples to be? Are you allowing Queen's Rights? Can you add OCs, and if so, how often? On this point-- I have my Three Strict Rules, and do not use OCs. Because of this, I do a LOT of research beforehand and usually have the wiki open as I work on these. I'm always scouring for forgotten warriors to use for this.

There are going to be multiple drafts. You will not do this in one go. That does not mean you "failed" or you're "stuck," that's a good thing.

With all of that out of the way.

Usually, the first thing I do is pick a Clan to work on. There's over 1,000 cats in this series, so I break that up by picking one group at a time. Once I do that, I draw out the canon chart.

In this case, I've already drawn out all of the canon charts. River, Thunder, Shadow, Sky, Wind.

I call this a Diagnosis because I'm taking a look at what the problem is, so that I know what I'm fixing. In Shadow's case, it's a solid brick of inbreeding with a "missing generation" line. In ThunderClan's case, it's mostly a Robinwing x Fuzzypelt problem. Each Clan has its own unique issues.

Once you know the issue, step two, start drawing out what you want to do and keep. For example, let's say that you want to use the Ivy/Dove as Holly/Cinder kittens idea.

I generally try to start with the "modern" cats and work backwards, but it can also be helpful to just doodle out floating "branches" that you want to work in backwards.

You can see examples of those in my ShadowClan draft, up there, but I've zoomed in and circled them.

Don't be afraid to draw "notes" like this. You can just grab them and drag them around when something clicks!

Getting back to our "example" tree with Holly/Cinder Ivy/Dove, you might notice now that Lionblaze has no mate. Another thing I do when I see an immediate problem but don't have a solution in mind yet is use a little ? mark. You don't want to get hung up on deciding everything RIGHT away.

Now, this is where my 3 Strict Rules would come into play, in two ways! I'm sure you'll be able to spot them. For one, Lionblaze has waaaaay too many kids here who would go on to have kittens of their own, so I'd start breaking them up. For two, this tree makes Ivypool and Fernsong a first cousin pairing, something I don't allow.

You can fix this in any number of ways, and I'm sure there's someone out there shouting their preferred Lionblaze ships and Alt Fernsong Parents like they're the crowd on a game show, but for this demonstration I'm going to do this;

Here, I decided I didn't want to undo FernIvy, but I still want Fernsong to be Clanborn with two parents, so I have removed him from Lionblaze and given him unknown family. I've also taken Sorrelstripe and Spotfur, and moved them to a little spot on the side. I can now use them to patch up the little ? placeholders.

You'll also notice this is already becoming a mess. This is why you will need to redraw this a few times, for readability. The best tip I can give you for that is that families who only have one kit to carry on the lineage should go in a long line in the center, but otherwise, offspring who do not have kits should go between their siblings who do.

It's easier to visualize it imo, so here's what I mean;

The vast majority of the time I spend doing these is just "puzzlework." Trying to figure out a way to make line connections look good, making sure cats are far enough apart, trying to make "wishlist" stuff work.

Here's some insight to that with the big ShadowClan mess I showed at the beginning of this post;

And, mind you, this is Draft 3 of this tree. Those grayed-out parts of the first image were my first two. I wasn't satisfied enough with them, so I started from scratch several times!

I wish I could share some kind of good, simple process for this, but unfortunately I don't have one. It's just a lot of work, familiarity, creativity, and problem solving. I spend days, sometimes even weeks on these. My intention is that they can be a fandom resource that's easier to read than the website tree, less carelessly inbred with more thought given to immediate family units, AND more comprehensive.

In any case, I hope this was insightful, or these tips I share helped in some way!

[hershey-writes]

Hello, how are you?

EI read what you wrote about Jotaro, I loved it! But I've been wondering. How would Yandere Jotaro react to his dear being pregnant? I imagine him being extremely overprotective. And Holly is a grandmother who spoils her grandchildren.

PExample: he and she got married and now she is pregnant.

tw: yandere, unhealthy relationships, possessiveness, pregnancy..you get the drill. scroll if any of this will make you uncomfortable.

he'll become a housewife more serious thoughts below the cut! AFAB reader below, although i try to remove most gendered language like 'mother' 'wife' etc

features holly, jotaro and introducing sadao!

first off; jotaro does not like sharing. at all. period, full stop. its been that way since he was a kid. but..the more he thinks about it, this whole pregnancy doesn't actually sound that bad. its an excuse for you to stay home and quit your job, its a way to ensure that you don't leave him and the baby can be a permanent reminder of your everlasting love! hey, that isn't that bad! he just needs to make sure your attention remains mostly on him and it should be fine. expect a lot of pampering. he knows that you're way more fragile pregnant, and as an already protective guy, his instincts will worsen. you're not going out at all. don't expect to see the sun until jolyne's in her crib. also, he'll become WAYYY more jealous and yet..simultaneously proud??? like on the rare occassion you go out with your friends or family he be trailing you like a shadow and eyeing anyone who's getting a little too close for his liking and yet he gets this smug look (by jotaro standards anyway) whenever you mention your pregnancy. after jolyne's born, he actually grows to like the kid. sure, its a bit annoying now that you have to feed her and change her diapers and what-not, but she has your eyes and his smile and..well, she is pretty cute when she starts babbling at him and pinching his cheeks. holly is a beast. have you heard of monster mother-in-laws? well, holly's like that, except in the opposite direction; she babies you to oblivion. you thought her son was bad?? oh-ho-ho, you clearly have not had shared a room with holly. she's controlling every move you make, she writes you up a diet, she's called your work and already quit for you, she's making you move in with her, she's replacing your wardrobe, she's teaching you how to cook and clean and she's already made a room for the baby. isn't she just the best mother in law? sadao is..conflicted. you're basically in the same situation he was when he started "dating" holly. well, can it be counted as dating when you were in (what was then) some random stranger's basement in a foreign country and she started calling you her husband even though you'd never met her before? either way, he really wants to help you, but he's batshit terrified of his wife and wants to make sure his son won't hurt you somehow. so he tries to help you in small ways-- comforting you when you're crying, giving you advice, offering to teach you to play some saxophone etc etc. but there's really not much he can do, can he? he's also away a lot of the time; partially because he loves his job, partially so he can get away from holly for as long as possible. he also tries to cancel out holly's worse tendencies by reminding her to at least ask you before she tries to force you to quit your job. he's away a lot and jotaro turned out fine, didn't he? well, jotaro didn't turn out fine, but he's not about to challenge holly's delusions and risk getting the wrath of joseph joestar on him.

[sometimesoliloquy]

The Handmaid's Tale 6x03 - "Devotion" (or "Hey, You Ok, Nick?")👀

Look, what can I say about this absolute fan fiction (ok, fanfic would have more fucking) wet DREAM of an osblaine episode that hasn't already been said. I don't know but I'll babble on about it for a while anyway. I know many of us have yearned in vain to see rebel(!) Nick and June on the run and I suppose we finally got a morsel of a consolation prize in what is essentially an entire epiosde of Nick x June spy rescue mission. While we're on that, listen up, Luke, because I think you could take a few notes here on the Do's and Don't’s of secret spy missions: 1) long-overdue softly spoken confessions of love and longing whilst waiting for enemy patrols to pass? Go for it!2) spending half the day whooping it up bowling and making a general ruckus on the keyboard like you're just out on a fun date night (while your date mostly sits there looking wildly uncomfortable)... yeah, maybe not.

Anyway, on to the ep!

At the Mayday ops base in No Man's Land, June's daydream of Hannah's baptism is rudely interrupted by Mark Tuello: "we've got to go." She's thinking of her loved ones in trouble: Moira, Luke, and still always most out of reach, Hannah. Mark briefs June on the mission Luke and Moira were on (to pick up info on the militant commander targets), and June in turn scolds Mark for putting her family in danger. He reassures her that Nick will come (for her) and she can't suppress her satisfied giddy smile at the thought of going to meet her boyfriend. She also tries and fails to sound casual about Serena (and Noah) being alive and well in New Bethlehem.

Speaking of which, it's a big! big! day in our favorite new dystopian beach town, as Lawrence reminds Nick, with its very future (and even more importantly, future expansion plans and reforms) depending on convincing the visiting dignitaries that they won't maim and kill their citizens as to the safety of their new community. Seems the rest of the world is just a tiny bit wary after the giant human rights violation that is Gilead (that little old thing).

But shortly a German diplomat (with apparent Mayday ties, somehow) shows up at Nick's door to deliver a not-so-cryptic message about June's whereabouts (seriously, no code? What if Rose were home and has really good hearing? The house isn't that big!) and Nick's day suddenly gets a bit more complicated. A dozen emotions flicker across his face as Nick processes, but a short while later he shows up in the woods--of course he shows up--incognito in his old driver uniform, and, physically pulled into June's gravitational force once again, visibly melts into her in a relieved embrace (and let's not forget this is the first time since he's seen her broken and unconscious in the hospital).

She assures him that Holly/Nichole is safe in Alaska (with her mother, wut!!). She then tells him her reason for being here and Nick is taken aback “Why would they do that? It’s dangerous”(yeh no shit, Nick! that's what we've been saying). He tells her moving the patrols would be too suspicious. "Mark's gotta think of something else" he says, funnily enough echoing his biggest fan, Holly Maddox, last episode ("there's gotta be another way!"), but June goes and bats her baby blues and it's all over (jk, well I mean sort of though). At this point Nick is like ok fine I’ll just go get them brb and she’s like cool and walks past him to the car and he’s like where the fuck do you think you going and I’m like hi, Nick, have you met June? His resigned “in the back, keep your head down” and her good naturedly indignant “I will!” Was really fucking cute. Peak banter this ep.

(when you hear your boyfriend arriving to pick you up for your waterpark date)

Back in New Bethlehem, Serena is meditating in her new beach house when a cheery Lawrence arrives with a housewarming plant. Serena will not be placated by mere gifts and flattery, though, and she wants the good commander down on his knees to prove his own chosen-by-god-liness. Unfortunately he's really much more adept at displaying his pop culture trivia knowledge, but still manages to convince her, finally appealing to their shared sense of duty to clean up the country they broke (and of course to her giant ego by stressing that he really needs her help--like reeeally).

(FFS Serena, I mean... Dear God...)

Nick and June arrive at the abandoned park and immediately continue their adorably natural banter. Interestingly, he seems quite familiar with the pick up spot (it's been closed a long time, always empty). As they make their way to the giftshop (the apparent hiding spot), it's hard to miss just how physically in sync they are as well, matching stride and occasionally ducking out of sight together to evade the watchful eyes of patrols. During one of these moments, June asks why he agreed to spy for the Americans after all, and just when we think Nick is going to brush it off with something noncommittal, he actually tells her(!!). "I came to see you. In the hospital. I had to see you" he says matter-of-factly. (Yes, Nick, spill it!! Mark, you can just go take a full seat ok honey? We don't need you for tea spills anymore, our reclusive boy is just spilling his feelings out of own his damn mouth all over the place and it is glorious).

June looks fairly stunned, and quickly puts 2 and 2 together: Nick agreed to spy--to work for the government, something he has continually expressed distrust and misgivings around--for her. To see her (when she didn’t even know). It's a bit of another "you did all this for me" moment, like hi June, don't you know he would do anything for you by this point? You even said it yourself in s4! But I think it is especially meaningful to her after their meeting in 5x09 where he ostensibly had told her that, athough he still loved her, he was moving on and focusing on his new family. The implications of this new revelation must now be swirling around her head, setting up for the even deeper realizations that will come with their conversation later on.

(oh, the tangled web...)

Somewhere in Gilead, we arrive with a very wary Aunt Lydia at (another very cool looking) parking garage with circular cutouts in the walls. She's greeted by another Aunt and we learn they are in fact at Jezebels, where Aunt Lyd's "precious girl" Janine has been taken after her fatal (and epic) clapback to Naomi. As they transverse ominous grey hallways with flickering lights, we learn that it's now policy for the aunts’ faces to be covered so as "not to tempt the patrons" (lol like that would stop those degenerates!). Methinks this info will come in handy in later episodes though...

We are finally led into the debauched scene of the dressing room, where Lyds looks on in shock and horror at the drugs, the skimpy outfits, the various sex-related paraphernalia. She's fully fallen down the rabbit hole and can't believe her pious little eyeballs (don't you remember Lyds? Commanders need their kink!). Her eyes finally lock onto her Janine, who we soon learn goes by "Kitty" in here (and by the way looks FAB). Her first instinct is to getJanine to cover up so she's not cold (lol, who IS THIS WOMAN?) and Janine is essentially (rightfully) like fuck the fuck off, what the fuck are you even doing here? (although somehow still in a kind and compassionate way, god bless her sweet soul). When one of the women makes fun of her hat and calls her a mean old witch, we learn that this is actually one of AL's former "of" "girls" and that in fact there are several others here in addition to Janine.

I have to sidenote here: "OfJason"'s insult here initially struck me as delightful (because she's not scared of Aunt Lydia anymore, she can't do anything to hurt her anymore, not here), and then immediately really fucking sad, because we know its because she's here in this place beyond where AL can hurt her, where so much worse things happen, where these women are worn down to inevitable numbness and loss of hope on their slow path towards death. Ugh.

If Aunt Lydia was stunned before, she's completely dumbfounded now--how did “her” "girls" end up here?? When they bore “fruit” (yuck) for Gilead?? Apparently someone told Lydia that the dog who got run over fruitful handmaids went to a beautiful farm where they get to run around happy and free for the rest of their days, and she believed it. She is determined that she and God can get Janine out of this horrible, dreadful place, no matter what Janine says. "Forget me", Janine says, as she heads off to Commander Bell's summons, but AL could never. God, just how many times is poor Janine (and Lawrence, for that matter) going to have to drop the most obvious truth bombs on Aunt Lydia before she finally GETS IT, I know she's been thoroughly programmed by the Gilead propaganda machine but still, just how thick is that skull of hers (well, I guess pretty thick, it did survive Emily's absolutely savage push down a flight of stairs, I’m remembering now with a smile).

(Yes, Aunt Lydia, they shoot horses)

As Lawrence leads a tour of Pleasantville New Bethlehem's squeaky clean main street and waxes very optimistically about liberalization without a drop of bloodshed (so of course we know there's gonna be bloodshed on the horizon), Serena is accosted (in the most old school gentlemanly way possible) by one Commander Wharton, who has just been dying to catch up with the star recruit to the cause of NB. He proceeds to blatantly hit on her in an oddly old fashioned and religiously coded way. They trade Gileadean platitudes back and forth and Serena appears to be flattered yet wary--even with her inflated ego she clocks him coming on extremely strong, and like us, she has to wonder a bit as to exactly what this man's motivation is.

At the gazebo in their Sunday finest, Wharton wonders aloud to Serena as to where-oh-where could his son-in-law be--Uh Oh. Lawrence at first seems to be holding his own but is a bit tripped up when a diplomat wants to know how the rest of the world can possibly trust their word, giving the atrocities committed by/in Gilead, especially towards women. It's certainly a hard one to answer(!), even for our favorite silver-tongued silver fox, but never fear, Serena Joy steps in to save the day with yet another grandiose speech about being chosen by God--this time tinged with a touch of (seemingly genuine?) self-reflection and repentance. We don't really get a chance to see just how convincing her words are, because right on cue, in is wheeled little Noah Waterford, the miracle baby himself, and any silly little concerns of human rights violations are quickly forgotten by the totally baby-obsessed crowd.

Honestly, I don't think Serena even needed to say a word, these people are so baby hungry. The baby fever/fervor is only bolstered as Mrs. Rose Blaine walks out, looking extremely pregnant for 5 months(!?), and really it's all over from there (handmaids, who? don't know them). Lawrence quips to the diplomat "Louise, I'm sorry but you're going to have to give that baby back" and a good, wholesome chuckle is had by all because of course all of the children Gilead stole and won't give back is in the past! A mere blip, a distant memory. Onto the baby making! Wharton's heart eyes for Serena have only grown at this point, he's got such a raging hard-on for her god-ordained fertility talk it's a wonder he can keep it in his commander pants.

(oh for a date with the Queen of Gilead)

Speaking of commander pants, Nick's are (metaphorically) wearing thin. Our poor boy is worn out. He is STRESS'T. He'd thought June was safely away, and now she's here. And now he's gotten himself roped into some crazy last minute scheme, trying to keep her out of danger while searching for a Luke-and-Moira needle in the haystack in an empty old waterpark on the edges of a No Man's Land seemingly crawling with Gilead security patrols (side note: are these the patrols Nick decided to blow Mark off about?), on the very day he's supposed to be selling New Bethlehem as the happiest place on earth to foreign dignitaries. He knows he's in trouble back "home" but first and foremost (as always) he's worried about June. "We've got to get you out of this park" he says as they're forced to hide once more. But June is stubborn as ever and not about to give in.

And the ensuing argument leads to them being the most honest and raw we've maybe seen them ever be. In his frustration over the current situation, Nick very aptly points out how he is risking his "home life" and growing family, his cover, even potentially his very life, to save her husband. Her husband, who she chose. Over Nick. "Because you chose him, you chose Luke". June's reply to this is not defensive but full of empathy, even regret; a pleading for him to understand. And while she doesn't deny it, her wording is very telling: "He waited for me. He waited for years." I had to, I felt like I had to because I owed him, the subtext is screaming, as she further expresses the guilt she feels over her technical infidelity, her love affair with Nick during those years as Luke waited: "I had you. I loved you." But Nick hones in, heartbreakingly, to the past tense of her wording: "Loved me". "Love", she corrects, confesses, reaffirms.

His weighted look back to her is full of understanding but still rife with hurt and frustration over the entire messy situation, too. For maybe the first time, he's not hiding his anguish from her "do you even know what it's like to be in love with you? It's not meant to wound or level blame, but simply an honest statement of fact, of his inevitable circumstance: here is my heart, it bleeds for you. "That's how I feel about you, I only feel that way about you" he further confesses when June says she can't lose Luke and Moira because they're a part of her. "I've lost you over and over again" he says, and she reaffirms "I'm here. I'd certainly like to think that it's meant not just as a reassurance of her physical presence, her continued vitality and safety after Gilead's assassination attempt, but indeed also the state of her heart, as it resides here, with him. Nick's raw and rare baring of his soul here surely must be striking to June, especially because the last time they spoke he seemed to be determined to move on with his new wife and baby on the way, but they must focus on the mission at hand, and so she is left to (hopefully) reflect further at a later time.

Meanwhile, we cut to the ominously shot-up giftshop, where Moira and Luke are indeed hiding out, and Luke is LOSING it, repetitively obsessing over the intel they collected and waving his gun around like a little boy playing cops and robbers. Ohemgee Get a damn hold of yourself, man! As June and Moira would say, "keep your fucking shit together!” Come to think of it, Moira is there, she can just tell him. And in fact she does, not in so many words "Commander roll call again? Stop. STOP." I'm sorry, but this guy muttering to himself, saying he shouldn't have "let" Moira come (you know, the sane one among them) and freaking out that June's not going to find him attractive if he can't pull off this mission? This is who we're supposed to believe is going to become a rebel revolutionary this season? Oy. Mayday's in trouble.

Right in the middle of more of his freaking out, a door creaks open and a (sexy) shadowy gun-toting figure emerges. Thankfully Mr. twitchy-trigger-finger does not come out guns a-blazing and accidentally shoot their rescuers. They hear June's voice and come out of hiding to embrace her as Nick hangs back awkwardly (although I did note Luke is still pointing the gun at June as he emerges lol, who did he think it was gonna be?). The 4th presence in the room is soon noticed though "That's not Mark!" and we finally get a Nick and Moira meeting(!) while Luke bird dogs him with a disgruntled stare and carelessly waves a gun around some more.

(hey guys, we should probably gtf out of here)

As they head to the car their luck runs out as a patrol suddenly pulls up and they're ordered to stop. Nick herds them to the car (of course June can't help staying closer, hiding behind some crates) as he goes to speak with the guardians. Unfortunately (especially for them), the younger lad is quite the stickler for the rules and we see the regret in Nick's face as he (and we) know what he has to do. June freaks out at the gunshots, clearly frightened for Nick, but he quickly emerges and guides her urgently to their getaway vehicle. Field trip's over kids, GET IN THE CAR!!

(apparently forgetting Texas is no longer a thing)

Back in New Bethlehem, the Lawrences, Serena, Wharton and Rose toast to a successful day--thanks to Serena herself, of course--and notably not thanks to Mr. Nick Blaine, who is still glaringly absent from the party. After a failed dick joke faux pas from Naomi and an awkward pause, Nick's father-in-law and wife once again wonder as to his whereabouts. Lawrence (we have to wonder here just exactly how much he does know) covers for Nick, mentioning something about border patrols, trade routes blah blah, and Serena (seeming to catch something is going on) provides a helpful distraction, claiming it's Noah's bedtime and whisking her new beau away for more weird 1940's religious flirting convincing as to the expansion of the New Bethlehem model, which he has notably been pushing back on.

Lydia hightails it from Jezebels back to the Lawrences', catching them as they arrive back in Boston (so NB must be fairly close in proximity for the commute back and forth to make sense?) to beg them to take Janine back (AS IF! says Naomi, and as if Janine would either). Much to Lydia's continued dismay, that ship has clearly sailed, but Joseph (after hinting at Lydia's poor health?) sends her off with a bee in her bonnet: Mrs. Waterford herself has returned to Gilead, and unlike his super cunty "old school" Gilead wife Naomi, has become quite "progressive". You can practically see the brown-bonneted wheels turning in that thick-skulled head as she jets off to find New Bethehem Barbie the newly crowned spokeswoman of the kinder, gentler, less murdery Gilead.

It's after dark as the waterpark gang arrive back in the wooded rendezvous spot where Mark has been patiently waiting to pick up his daughter from her date bring his operatives home. Mark must be pretty butt hurt because he threatens Nick with exposure if he goes dark again (umm you're WELCOME for today, Mark?). Delightfully though, Nick stands up for himself "no you won't, I'm no use to you if I'm dead. I can't do everything you want". YOU TELL HIM, Nick! Mark walks off to pout about getting ghosted (maybe he and Luke can cry together over a beer).

To Luke's chagrin, June lingers behind for just a little more Nick time. Nick starts initiating another grand farewell forever, my love, "make a good life for yourself" goodbye when June finally tells him to cut the crap. "Who are we kidding" she admits. "Ok, so, uh, what should we say instead", he wonders, amused and intrigued. "How about, see you later?" (and just like that our fave couple has a cute new catch phrase/inside joke). “Ok, see you later" he quips back lightly while his glowing heart-eyes say goddamnit, I love you so much, forever and ever, and watches her walk away with his heart once more, while their romantic bridge kiss score swells in the background. She can't help glancing back with a wistful look as she walks away, and of course he's there watching her back; her steady, stalwort rock as always.

I know I've said it before but I really love how Nick and June have these subtle little physical expressions and reactions that are for each other and each other only. A specific little smile. A glimmer in the eye. A raise of the brow. A flutter of lashes, a slow blink. An intake of breath. Just these very specific, consistent little tells that show how deeply they are affected by the other: the presence or the sudden absence of their physical nearness.

***

As we reflect on the episode title, we can of course refer to multiple themes: Lawrence's (and now Serena's) "devotion" to the concept of New Bethlehem and the reform they hope it will bring. Wharton's apparent hard on "devotion" to Serena despite seeming to barely know her (yep, definitely something up this one's sleeve). Aunt Lydia's devotion" to "her girls" and Janine in particular (she certainly has not proven her devotion to date but after like a million wakeup calls we can be hopeful she may be finally be setting on the path). Luke's new "devotion" to fighting for Hannah (or at least to wanting June to find him sexy holding a gun?). But I don't think it will be anything of a surprise that I really want to focus on the main event of this episode: obviously, Nick's undying devotion to June (no matter how much trouble and pain it has and continues to cause him).

And man, he really airs his feelings out here like never before: not just the fact of his love for June, but what it has cost and continues to cost him. His stoic mask is slipping and he's showing the raw underbelly of his bleeding heart. He's really honest, finally, about his struggles and insecurities when it comes to where June's heart truly lies.

And at this point it does seem fair for him to question: is she asking him for this favor, to help her save Luke and Moira, because she trusts only him and has complete faith in his capabilities to enact this mission (and ok yeah, maybe she also wants to see him, ok, can you blame her??)? Or because he is the sucker who will run to her aid no questions asked, time and time again, and his safety holds less value to her than her husband's? In the long run is he really expendable?

It's not that she doesn't care, we know this. We've seen her worry about Nick over the seasons and I truly can't believe that she cares more about Luke than Nick. But I do think she's guilty of underestimating the danger. Perhaps being somewhat removed from the very thick of Gilead herself at this point, or not fully appreciating the fairly fragile politician and domestic position Nick is in at the moment (is always in, really, but now with added pressure of NB's success in the balance). She often seems to view him almost as a superman, impervious and capable of anything; only engulfed in worry when there's an immediate threat at hand (the lakehouse in s2, the gunshots here). It's largely because she does have complete faith in him (maybe it's your fault for being so damn reliable, Nick! jk/jk).

But arguably, in the past he has also performed these constant favors for her with a certain sense of, not nonchalance, but smooth inevitability maybe; his loyalty has been undying and he has wanted her to see that but perhaps tried to shield her from the reality of what these frequent acts of subversion on her behalf could potentially be costing him. Aside from calling out reckless behavior on her part in the past when it put already-in-motion plans at risk (i.e. "No we're not, you're being so fucking stubborn.", he largely has not reminded her of the positions he puts himself in for her. He wants to give her this gift of devotion without the baggage of guilt. This is the first time in a while, really the first time since she's been out, that he really calls out what this devotion costs and how he could pay for it. And I don't blame him. He's tired, he's worn down. He's weary of jumping whenever June snaps her fingers and her running back to Luke after every time. There's really not much choice when he's in Gilead, and it's not really fair, but at the same time it's fully fair for him to feel it. As we are reminded again and again, in Gilead (and for those loving people stuck in Gilead), there is no real choice, only illusion of choice and a thousand shitty options. But he knows he'll keep doing it anyway, he'll keep on at least until he snaps.

June doesn't really know, nor do we as the viewers (yet) the potential wrath that the seemingly kind, gentle Rose could be capable of if her patience is stretched far enough, and as her she heads into the last crucial months of what may certainly be a stressful pregnancy, with her wayward husband's attention drawn away from her and their imminent child. Or the potential well of cruelty that may lurk underneath the mask of kind fatherly advice Commander Wharton wears. But whether it's from external or internal impetus, it seems imminent that something's got to give.

A final important point on Nick's devotion and his confessions in this episode: It's of note that Nick has really never asked June for anything, unless you count “keep yourself safe, keep Nichole safe, try and be happy”. He’s never asked her for anything besides the safety and happiness of her and their daughter. Never dared to ask for anything for himself, anything “selfish”. So it’s almost a little startling when he expresses (or at least, hints at) his desire for more: for her to choose him, not just love him from afar or in the abstract but explicitly value and prioritize him, as a lover and partner. If it was striking for the viewer, I hope it shook June up a little: planted a seed in her mind to make her realize that they still could have a future together and it would be so good. If she could just let go of the guilt and obligation she feels with Luke, have the courage to let him go and embrace what her heart truly desires.

(screencaps & captions sourced by me)

[lulublack90]

Prompt 19 - Holly

@wolfstarmicrofic December 19, word count 770

Dumbledore had Remus going around the packs again on the full moon's. He’d tried to explain that the wolves didn’t want to fight, that they wanted to be left alone, but Dumbledore wouldn’t listen. He went anyway, as he liked to do what he could to help the packs, even if it was just healing those who struggled to heal themselves. Effie had always said he’d make an excellent healer, and he’d begun studying for a career in healthcare. That was until he was informed that, due to his Lycanthropy, he wasn’t eligible to train. He’d been distraught and fought hard to be able to train; he’d even had letters from all the staff who knew about him and an entire essay from Madam Pomfrey on why he would be an excellent healer. But it had all come to nought, and he’d spent the last decade and a half finding odd jobs, mainly in the muggle world, to pay the bills. 

The pack he’d run with this month was one of the hardest up packs he’d come across. The pack was full of wolves who didn’t want to steal and beg. They’d made their own little settlement in the forest, and they hunted for their own food, but there was a distinct lack of necessities. Remus did what he could, dipping into Sirius's Gringott's accounts, with his permission, and bought them a few things, like blankets and toilet paper.  

He visited them a few times outside the full moon as he enjoyed the company of the pack's members. He’d come after the full moon this time as he’d been running with a pack in Wiltshire that had been getting a bit too close to the Malfoy property for the Order’s liking. It had turned out that they had no idea that they’d strayed that far. Apparently, the hunting was excellent in the area, but they’d promised to keep their distance as they wanted no part in their war. 

Today, there was a new member of the small pack. Remus’s heart broke when he saw the small blonde-haired little girl. She couldn’t be more than six. 

“Greyback,” Penny told him in the way of explanation. “Horrendous. We got a tip-off that he’d been in the area. We found her hiding under her bed, both parents dead in the next room. We got her out of there as quickly as we could and covered up the mess Greyback left. So far, no one is looking for them,” Remus felt a wave of red-hot anger course through his veins. Greyback had ruined so many lives and here was his latest devastation. 

The little girl was wrapped in one of the blankets he’d bought and being held by Naomi. The girl had tear stains down her face, with new ones being added every time she blinked. It was cold today and the forest was no place for a child. He made a decision and talked it over with Penny. 

Remus opened the front door of Grimmauld Place. He walked as silently as possible past the curtained portrait of Walburga Black, sniffing the air as he went. He climbed the stairs, following Sirius’s scent into one of the upstairs sitting rooms. 

“Hey,” He said as he entered the room. 

“Oh, hey,” Sirius put his crossword and turned to face him. His smile froze on his face as his eyes widened as he took in what was in Remus’s arms, or who. 

“Sirius, this is Holly. Holly, sweetheart,” He said gently to the little girl nestled in his arms, “This is Sirius,” Sirius stood and took a step towards them. 

“Remus…”

“I know, I know,” Remus interrupted him. “But I couldn’t leave her, Sirius. The forest is no place for a kid.”

“Remus…”

“I know Grimmauld Place isn’t much better, but as soon as the war is over we can move out or renovate it…”

“Remus!” Sirius laughed as he shook his head. 

“Oh, sorry,” Remus’s cheeks flushed as he realised he was babbling. 

“I think it’s wonderful that you’re helping her.” He turned his attention to the tiny girl in Remus’s arms. “Holly, have you ever met a Hippogriff?” Holly shook her head. “Would you like to?” A nod this time. Sirius held his arms out, and Holly willingly went to him. Remus watched as Sirius walked away with the new addition to their little family as he chatted quietly to her on their way up to meet Buckbeak. Remus let out a happy sigh. Holly was going to have a hard life, but hopefully, he and Sirius could make it as good as possible.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 72 (BIG News!)

Weeks after their adventurous night at the lighthouse, Heather started to suspect she might be pregnant again. A bundle of nerves at the prospect less than a year after her miscarriage, an appointment with Dr. Serra confirmed she was, indeed, expecting.

When Conrad came home from work, she was modding one of her computer games, trying to keep her mind off how he might react. He walked in the door having picked up Ash from daycare on his way home, and she turned off her game before he came out of the bathroom.

"Hey, I'm pregnant," she blurted nonchalantly. Conrad stopped in his tracks.

"Are you really?"

After the work they'd done together to help him through his grief, fear was the furthest thing from his mind. As he processed the news, he smiled. Conrad trusted he was ready to be a father, and the thought of expanding his family with Heather filled him with excitement. "I'm so happy," he said, pulling her in for an embrace.

Once Ash was in his pajamas and they cleaned up after dinner, they sat him down. It was still early in Heather's pregnancy, but this time they were more than ready to share their news. "Ash, sweetie, mommy and Conrad are going to have a baby. That means you're going to be a big brother!"

Four-year-old Ash smiled up at them cluelessly. "Will baby have fur like the baby kitties?"

They laughed. "I hope not, buddy. We're not that hairy!" said Conrad.

The next time they were in San Myshuno to deliver Ash to the Landgraabs, they all stopped in at Uncle Karl and Mortimer's penthouse before returning home.

Holly brought out her calm, dark-haired daughter Tetra to greet her Aunt Heather. Ash babbled away to his new cousin, who watched him curiously from her mother's arms.

"She's the sweetest, and she's getting so big," Heather cooed. "I'm glad I only need to wait about seven more months before I'll be able to have baby cuddles at home again."

Holly grinned. "Are you pregnant?" Heather nodded. "Oh my Watcher! I'm pregnant again, too! About eight weeks."

The sisters were due just weeks apart, and they celebrated their shared big news with Mortimer and Uncle Karl until Heather was due to drop off Ash across town. When they arrived at Spire Tower, they were greeted by Malcolm.

"Hey, so...some news. Miko's pregnant," he said.

Heather laughed. "Who isn't pregnant, Malcolm? Conrad and I are expecting, too."

As fate would have it, Ash was due to welcome two new siblings - and a new cousin - in the span of a few weeks, but for now he still wasn't sure why everyone around him was so excited. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

NOTE: I didn't plan this, I swear! Just Heather!

[midnightfire830]

Holy cussing stars the time this took so I could learn how to render wood, chipped wood, ceramic, and cloth textures. 😫

Because every soldier needs his lovely princess to protect, here’s Holly as a ceramic princess doll! Kudos to @sirensea14 for the design idea. I made a few edits to her original sketch, but largely the design belongs to her!

I don’t think there’s enough time for me to babble about everything my friends and I have talked about for these two, but the idea is Cuphead and Mugman protect their lovers as a soldier and knight would. It felt only fitting for Holly to be a personification of a “Tree Princess” for him to protect. Her being made of china would make her all the more delicate and she’d have to worry about not cracking. So of course Cuphead would take that upon himself to fiercely protect her and make sure she stays safe! Even at the extend of his own safety

AKA why I made him look so banged up is 1. from roughing it out in the woods (more later on the world building) and 2. a lot of accidents in his efforts to protect her and AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHTHEY’RESOCUTEEEEE!!!!

Im gabbing so much about this AU you have no idea!!!!

Oh. I should probably mention this is for Lost Toys AU. That might be a good idea to mention that lol.

[hollywooddemonslayer]

[helpimhyperfixating]

baby Merlyne learning how to crawl.

All Mer learn how to crawl on the beaches. Because sun bathing is such an important aspect of Mer pods, young Mer learn to crawl rather quick.

Not per se by a push from their parents, but while the parents enjoy a good bake, the little rascals start squirming and rolling around, flopping their little tails. Soon enough, they’ll copy what they’ve seen from their parents and start to develop those arm muscles ;3

Little blurb 👇

Sighing softly, Jotaro lay on his back, the sand warm on his skin and the sun calmly shining down, slowly evaporating the water sticking to his form, allowing his skin to properly absorb the salt.

His peace and quiet was short lived however, as grabby hands started to poke and prod at his side.

“Jolyne…” Sighing softly, Jotaro opened an eye, looking at his daughter which was to his right, only to flinch as she suddenly pinched him. “Ow, don’t do that.” He huffed, lifting her little hand away, to which the pup blinked up at her father, surprised to be grabbed before she frowned.

Seeing the angry little face, Jotaro let go of her wrist, grunting as he rolled onto his side, his tail lifting up to curl around his daughter, sand sticking to the underside.

“What is it?” He hummed, resting his head on his hand as he raised an eyebrow, watching the little girl almost seem to try and telepathically tell him what it was - which didn’t help of course as he just saw an angry pout and nothing more.

Seeing her dad’s lack of reaction, Jolyne babbled in frustration, her tail angrily flopping.

She’d gotten to that stage where she just learned how to swim on her own for short distances, talking not really ingrained yet as she instead babbled and clicked nonsense.

Tightening his tail around her a bit, Jotaro almost created a sort of play pen, watching lazily as the small Mer grabbed onto his scales, little claws grazing the strong scales, harmless.

It took a little bit, but the black-tailed Mer then decided to reach out, intending to lift his daughter onto his chest so that she’d stay still and be able to absorb the salt too - much needed if she wanted her skin to thicken and harden.

Yet before he could, he watched as she rolled onto her stomach, little chubby arms reaching out and grabbing onto his tail, his head lifting from his hand in surprise as he watched Jolyne grunt, pulling herself towards his tail, where she then proceeded to bite down, starting to drool onto his tail as she used the scales as a pacifier.

Yet for Jotaro, he quickly looked around, catching his mother’s gaze.

No words were necessary for Holly to understand what just happened. Instantly, a smile beamed onto her face and Jotaro couldn’t help the flutter in his chest, the corners of his mouth lifting up as he looked back to his daughter, purposefully moving his tail out from under her, shifting it just a small distance away.

Letting out an angry little noise, Jolyne began swinging her hands, flopping her tail as she tried to get herself back towards his tail.

It was awkward and her arms lacked the strength, but Jotaro didn’t care. She was trying.

Shifting to sit up, he reached out and lifted her tail, taking the weight over from her, to which the small girl instantly started mowing her arms, trying to wheel herself forward now that it was no longer as heavy.

Obliging, Jotaro watched his daughter ‘crawl’ on her hands towards the end of his tail, a proper smile forming on his face as pride took over.

Pups weren’t usually this quick. Yet here she was, practically crawling already.

A little cheer from his right caught his attention as he saw his mother happily clapping, the both of them watching Jolyne grab hold of his scales once more, content to just nibble and teeth as if it was the most normal of moments.

Yet for Jotaro, it would forever be a memory ingrained in his brain.

After all, this was his little girl.

[jamdoughnutmagician]

Rainbow Sprinkles

A short, and hopefully cute and fluffy little fic for the very lovely, and beautiful @penguinsandpotterheads Happy Birthday Holly, I hope you have an amazing day, bestie!!!! <3

Word Count:923

Masterlist Eddie Munson Masterlist

You make your way into your home after a busy day at work just ready to sink into the arms of your boyfriend, perhaps order some take-out and watch a shitty movie that would ultimately end up getting ignored in favour of making out with said boyfriend, but as you tread into the home you shared with Eddie you come to realise those plans had been thrown out of the window.

Because there he is. In the kitchen, his hair bundled up on top of his head, with a few loose curls framing his, and a white apron tied around his body smeared with many different stains. 

You step quietly into the kitchen, trying not to draw attention to yourself.

“What’re you up to there?” you say, making your way over to him.

You watch as he jumps at the sound of your voice.

“You’re home early!” he babbles, looking over your shoulder at the clock on the wall.

“Yeah, they let me go early since it’s my birthday, which was nice of them.” you explain.

“Yeah I suppose that is nice of them, I just hadn’t expected you to be home so soon.” 

“You never answered my question.” you pry curiously. 

“Hm?”

“What are you up to?” you ask again as your eyes come to scan over the mess that litters the kitchen counter. There’s cracked eggs shells, an open bag of flour that is somehow dusting more of the counter than there is in the bowl which you gather that he intended it for. The large mixing bowl is filled with what looks like a deep, rich chocolate mixture.

“Oh that.” he chuckles. “I was kind of hoping to bake you a cake as a surprise but I quickly realised that I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

"No no, I think it looks alright." you say, as you mix the wooden spoon around in the mixture.

"Wayne gave me the recipe, so if it sucks it's totally his fault and not mine" he laughs, holding his hands up in surrender. 

"Well let's get it in the oven, and see what happens! Then we can decorate it together!" You smile, placing a kiss on your boyfriend's face.

You reach on to the counter to set the timer, whilst Eddie pours the cake mixture in a round baking tin and places it in the oven.

"I'm just going to set a timer for thirty minutes" You tell him.

"There's a lot you can do in thirty minutes." Eddie says suggestively, raising his eyebrows up.

You playfully slap him on his arm as you tug him away from the mess in the kitchen.

"Keep it in your pants until later, Loverboy." you flirtatiously chastise him.

“But it’s your birthday!”

Sure enough the timer in the kitchen dings, and you pull yourself away from Eddie’s hold as he places sweet kisses to your neck. 

As it turns out, snuggling on the couch, which turned into an inevitable makeout session you always knew it would, was an excellent way to spend your birthday.  

“Come on Teddy! The cake’s ready to come out of the oven!” you cheer as you tug him up from the seat with you, and practically skip to the kitchen.

“Here, let me get it out, I am the one with the apron after all.” he smirks, reaching for a dish towel.

 He opens up the oven door, the smell of delicious, warm chocolate wafts out as he brings the cake out and places it on the countertop.

“Not to be too cocky, but I reckon I’ve got this baking thing down to a fine art, Sweetheart.” he smiles, marvelling down at the perfectly risen sponge in the tin.

“Okay, Julia Child, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” You tease him lightly, which earns you an adorable giggle from your boyfriend.

“Now we just have to wait for it to cool down and then we can start decorating it!” Eddie cheers.

Eddie smears a thick layer of gooey, fudgy, chocolate frosting over the now cooled cake whilst you stand by with a tub of brightly coloured sprinkles in hand ready to scatter on top.

“She’s all yours, have at it, Picasso.” Eddie smiles as he stands back to allow you to recklessly sprinkle your cake with the decoration.

You finish decorating the cake, taking a step back to marvel at your creation.

“I think we make a good team, between your baking and my flair for abstract decorations.” 

“Yeah, we do. We make an excellent team.” Eddie agrees, pulling you into him with a one-armed side hug and a kiss pressed into the crown of your head.

“Y’know, I couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend my birthday.” You say as you snuggle against him, a slice of your cake on your plate and a fork in hand.

“Hm?” Eddie mumbles around a mouthful of cake, his own slice sitting on his plate, almost gone from him demolishing it as quickly as it had been served up.

“Yeah, just being here and spending time with you, has made me the happiest birthday girl in the world!” you beam, as you snuggle deeper into his warmth.

Eddie smiles, he’s so warmed by your admission, and his smile only grows when he thinks about the surprise party he’s organised for you this weekend. All your closest friends and loved ones, there just to celebrate you, and have a good time. 

“I love you so much, Sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Teddy.”

[sleepyselkiesims]

Part 61

The first thing Ella did when the family got home was make sure Bruno got some attention. She wasn't about to let her puppy get abandonment issues!

Speaking of... despite a full nights worth of reaffirming his love with his new husband, there was one last thing Andre wanted to make his life truly complete.

Hollie agreed without hesitation, so the two disappeared for just a little while...

Last time Andre had kids, it tore apart his marriage. But this time, it could only make the bond stronger! He'd always wanted a big family and lots of kids anyway.

...Ok, that's not what I expected to get stronger! Turns out babies are good pr for politicians?

The new beautiful baby boy got dropped off in Ellis' room first. Yep, the princess legacy challenge has welcomed it's second male generation!

Since the new baby was in his room, Ellis got to make his introduction to the boy first. He wasn't sure how to act, but the moment was so magical he almost forgot his awkwardness.

It helped that the baby loved Ellis on sight, and giggled and grinned for their entire interaction.

With Uncle Ellis properly introduced, the baby was promptly moved to his parents room, where Hollie wasted no time showering his baby boy with love.

Hollie was absolutely exhausted, but he wanted to hold on to his kid for as long as possible.

As he waited for his turn to meet the baby, Andre anxiously confided in his twin. He'd gotten so carried away, he hadn't asked his daughters if they were ok with having a new sibling! He couldn't believe he'd been so inconsiderate! What if they hated the new kid?

Well, they were about to find out! The baby babbles had already caught Ana's attention, and she was impatiently waiting for her turn.

It was love at first coo for Ana! She excitedly introduced herself, all her favorite hobbies, everything a new kid would need to know about the family-

It was not love at first conversation for the baby. He wailed and screeched while Ana frantically tried to shush him.

When Ana finally got the baby calmed down, Ella made her appearance! Her reaction seemed incredibly heartwarming, but uhh...

Ella was actually furious! How dare Andre and Hollie not ask her if it was ok to bring in a baby!

Ana sat her down to have a talk about it. The baby was there for keepsies! And Ana liked him, so Ella better get used to it!

The talk didn't help Ella's mood at all. Poor dear ended up crying herself to sleep in rage.

Not Ana, though! She couldn't leave the baby's side even for a moment! She was a one-kid entertainment act that could go all night.

Uncle Ellis had to step in to tuck her into bed, when the kiddo passed out instantly. Ellis even sang some lullabies to keep her asleep. After all, someone else still needed to meet the new baby...

With the house finally quiet, Andre finally got to hold his baby. He'd raised 3 kids, but this was the first time he'd ever gotten to hold a baby. Andre could scarcely breathe.

Andre was the only Queen in generations (or ever, depending on how you classify Snow) to be an ordinary sim, but his kids were all the magic he needed. With that in mind, it was about time to give this kid a name that wasn't "the baby" or "baby boy". Andre hadn't really given himself time to think up baby names, but an old childhood story came to mind.

Thus, with true love's kiss, baby Cinder got his name. Named after the extremely rare phoenix that had guarded his great-grandmother Hanabi.

Now uhhh.... which of the twin girls is going to have to give up their space for a baby room?

Ah, that's a problem for another day. And through all this and more, Strawberry rocks on.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Little Earthquakes - Chapter One.

Besties! I was thrilled with the response to the prologue, thank you all so much! :) So, now the story starts properly. Sit back and get comfy!

Previous chapters - Prologue

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed.

Words - 3,972

Warnings - 18+ throughout. Minors DNI!

Immediately, her mouth dropped open. “Oh my flippin’ god! Hello!” There he was, the cute lad she’d been in the same class as at school. Except now he was even bloody cuter than he’d been at fifteen. God, those cheekbones were virtually criminal. And his eyes, wow! Had they always been that beautiful a shade of green, and she’d simply never noticed? “I thought I recognised your name when I was looking at your work, but I couldn’t place how, and where from, and I’m babbling, and oh my god, you’re Kelsey Chapman! I remember you, too!” 

She then turned to take in Chris, her mouth falling open yet again. “Chris Lawrence! Stop it, it’s a bloody Fulham Green Academy reunion!”  

“How are you, Holly? All good, ay?” he spoke, side eyeing Nathan and beaming, watching how he stood scratching the back of his neck. He always did it when he felt uncomfortable, usually when he couldn’t hide in his hair, being that his cascade of waist-length brown locks were all tied back. So, Holly still had the same effect, it seemed.  

“Yes, yes I’m good, thanks! It’s so nice to see you all,” she replied brightly as Nathan arrived with her.  

“Ready?” he asked, gesturing towards his station. 

She scrunched her nose a little. “Crapping myself to be honest! Right, where am I kotching?”  

“On the table. Lie back and get comfy, unless you’d rather sit up. Either way, I just need you to place your foot flat and bend your knee so I can press the line drawing on, check it flows okay and make sure you’re happy with it.”  

She’d emailed a few ideas to him, speaking the magic words that any tattoo artist liked to hear, that she trusted his judgement over what he came up with. Her only guide was that she wanted all the flowers to look like they were climbing up from her foot to her mid-calf.  

Since he specialised at realism, each flower would look just as she’d requested, like it had been painted on. The line drawing was a guide for him to work to only, so he could then freehand them into the allotted space. Once pressed into place, Holly took a look and confirmed she was happy, beginning to swallow hard. 

“Just take a few deep breaths, you’ll be fine,” he assured her. “It hurts, but not half as badly as some people make out.”  

“Says the man who nearly cried when I tattooed his ribs,” Kelsey called from her station, poking her tongue between her teeth. 

“Shit off,” he mumbled, looking back at Holly a little sheepishly. “Made my eyes water a bit, but any chance her over there has to make me look like a twat and she takes it.”  

“Love you!” her over there chirped, loading the needle with more ink. All Kelsey based disturbances aside and he began, doing a small section to the side of her foot and pausing. “All good?” 

Oh, no. It felt like somebody was dragging a hot knife through her flesh, but she nodded and smiled all the same. “Fine, yeah. I’m good.” He knew she wasn’t, but he was too nice to call her out on it.  

“So, you’re Holly Jenkins now?” he asked casually, remembering her name in the emails they’d exchanged. Of course, she’d be married. Women as beautiful as her didn’t remain single. “How long have you been married for?” 

“I was married for ten years, but we divorced last year. I haven’t gotten around to changing my name back as yet,” she spoke, resting her arm beneath her head.  

“Oh, sorry,” he replied, looking away briefly, watching her mouth twitch slightly. 

“Don’t be, I’m happy about it. I don’t think we were as well-suited as I once thought, so it was for the best, really.” 

“Hm, yeah,” he breathed, circling the top of the first petal, noticing her foot tense a little. To be expected. Foot tattoos weren’t the best. “I understand that. My wife and I separated three months ago after I reached the same conclusion. Proper shit, but that’s life, ain’t it?” 

“It is, and I’m sorry too, that you’re going through the same thing,” she offered, wincing slightly. “I can give you the number of a good divorce lawyer?” 

He laughed, a small burst of air through his nose. He could certainly do with one of those, to be fair. “Appreciated.” Continuing, he noticed she remained tense, pausing, patting her ankle softly with his black gloved hand. “Relax, ‘kay? Hurts more when you’re tense.”  

“I’ll try. Sorry, I probably look like a right knob to someone as heavily tattooed as you, y’know,” she confessed, Nathan beginning again. 

“Don’t mean I’m immune to pain, and it does hurt, like I said. Trust me, though, you don’t look like a knob. Had a girl in here two weeks ago who literally screamed like she was being murdered. Proper put me off, I'm telling you.”  

It reassured her a little, that her wincing and tensing was definitely at a lower level where reactions were concerned. He remained silent for a little time longer, Holly looking all around the studio, taking it in. It was a relaxed vibe, very dark academia in style with its black walls, dark wooden floors and counters, an abundance of artwork, plants dotted around everywhere and Edison lightbulbs suspended above each of the three stations.  

What caught her eye the most though, well, it was the man tattooing her. Back at school, it had always surprised her, just how lovely she thought he was, so cute with his shoulder length hair and big, green eyes. Even though it was all tied back in a half pulled through messy man bun at the nape of his neck, she wagered it was a lot longer now, but the bottle green eyes were still just as beautiful. Even more so going by her reaction at first seeing him, in fact, his eyelashes also impossibly long and inky. And bloody hell, the pout on the man. Those lips? One hundred percent kissable.  

“What are you doing for work these days, then?” he asked after a further few minutes of silence, loading the needle with dark red ink for the next flower.  

“I’m an illustrator,” she began, noticing that the pain was getting a little less. Well, either that or she was becoming more used to the hot scratches goring at her skin, one of the two. “I mainly do adult colouring and children’s books, but I also contribute for other literature and cover art as well. I just accepted a role doing the digital art for a woman’s E-Magazine, too, which has been great so far.”  

“Yeah? That’s proper sick,” he enthused, pausing to smile up at her. Oh, that smile. It lit up his entire face. “You were always really talented. Those little cartoon guys you used to do, I loved them. That unicorn dude, he was ace.” 

She could barely believe he remembered them after so long, those pictures she’d submitted on her GCSE display. “As if you remember him! Sparky the unicorn.” 

“Sparky, yeah, yeah. That was him.” In truth, he remembered exactly what the cartoon character of her creation had been called, but he didn’t want to look like a weirdo by remembering such an innocuous detail after so many years. Especially not after her surprise that he’d remembered it at all.  

“So, how long have you been tattooing for?” she then asked. 

“Right out of uni, more or less.” 

“Yeah? Wow, long time, then. Did you end up going to Loughborough like you wanted to?” 

Oh, so she’d remembered something innocuous herself too, then. “I did, yeah, yeah.”  

“I remember you telling me. Well, you wrote it down.” 

She began to chuckle, her soft giggle making his stomach tingle pleasantly, even more so when it loudened at watching him pause and close his eyes tightly for a few moments, laughing softly though his nose. “The legit shame of it.”  

“Oh, come on! You weren’t that bad!” she cried, laughing more the further his cheeks pinked. Damn, he was so cute. 

“Weren’t that bad? Holly, I couldn’t pissing speak!” He paused there, giving her a few seconds to compose her giggles. She couldn’t. Her beautiful laughter only spurred his further, both sitting there in soft fits at the memory of his fifteen-year-old self, so stoned he was rendered mute.  

“Or walk by the end of the night either,” Kelsey offered from across the shop. “Had to give him a fireman’s lift to the taxi!” 

Oh, the shame. “You needn’t bloody chip in over there, Chapman,” he snorted. “I can do a good enough job mortifying myself, by myself, thanks.”  

“Sharing is caring!” she beamed, Nathan muttering as he continued and moved onto the next flower.  

“How you holding up?” 

“Fine, getting used to it,” she confirmed, watching him smile. 

“Trust me, it won’t be your last. You get bitten by the tattoo bug. Seldom anybody who’s ever had them stops at just one.” 

“Which was your most recent? Can I see?” she inquired.  

“Hmm, only if I took my jeans off,” he confessed.  

“You little tease,” she joked, winking. “Where is it? Anywhere naughty?” 

Was she... no. No, no. She wasn’t flirting with him. Why the hell would she? He knew he was reasonably attractive. Hell, he’d gone from zero to sex in five minutes with someone just thirty minutes before, but seriously. Holly Madden, or Jenkins as she now was, flirting with him? No.  

“It’s on my lower hip,” he confirmed, “cover up of the ex’s name.” Thanks to Kelsey, where Lisa’s name had once lay was now covered by an old school style black panther crawling its way up to his hipbone, a definite improvement now his wife no longer had any prominence in his life.  

“Do you do any of your own tattoos?” she asked out of curiosity, Nathan loading more violet onto the needle. 

“Have done in the past. I did my feet, but I’m not that great at tattooing myself. I do most of my own piercings, though. Save a couple.” 

“How many do you have?” 

He thought for a moment, counting. “Twenty-one. Used to be twenty-three, but I took my eyebrow ones out.”  

“And where are they all?”  

“Eight in my left ear, six in my right, one nostril, lip, two in my tongue, both nipples and one in my dick.”  

Immediately, she gasped. “Crapping hell! I bet that bloody hurt!” 

It would be fair to say he’d nearly gone through the roof. “Yep, a solid eight out of ten on the pain scale.” 

“Why on earth would you do something like that? And have two in your tongue? I bet that was painful, too!” she cried, shaking her head in amazement. 

“Same answer for both,” he smirked. “It’s purely a sex thing.” 

“Can I see them?” she asked, suddenly kicking herself as her stomach plummeted, her cheeks colouring. “The tongue ones, I hasten to add!” Oh, the depth of her cringe. Shit.  

He laughed softly, poking his tongue out and giving it a very rapid wiggle, the two black studs tapping against his teeth.  

Her eyes rounded, making an impressed little hum in the back of her throat. “Bloody hell. A man who can move his tongue that rapidly doesn’t really need any further enhancements, if you ask me.” 

“I know, but I like to show off,” he smiled, winking. Oh, oh yes. He could trust it. They’d definitely fallen into a little playful flirting. “What about you?” 

She felt a bit vanilla, compared to him. “Just my ears, one in each lobe and one at the top of my right. I always said I was going to get something else, too, but I never know what.” 

“Well, when you make up your mind, you know where I am,” he smiled, returning his focus to her tattoo.  

She couldn’t help herself. “You do seem particularly apt at sticking needles in people, so yes, I think I’ll trust it to you.” 

And neither could he. “Not just needles.” Again, he winked, Holly smiling a little shyly, definitely enjoying the exchange. Oh, and why the heck not? She was thirty-four-year-old single woman eleven months out of a terrible marriage. Why not flirt with the hottie doing her tattoo for her?  

“You little devil!” she giggled, Kelsey and Chris exchanging knowing looks from their respective stations, watching their friend enjoying the hell out of himself in flirting up a storm with his teen crush. It was quite surprising for them to witness, since earlier that day aside, he wasn’t overly brash with it. He still wasn’t even then, but he definitely had something about him that exuded a bit more charm than usual.  

At close to the hour mark, he gave her a little break, covering the tattoo for her with a piece of taped on kitchen paper so she could pop outside and make a phone call, taking his gloves off and grabbing his large vaping mod, going out to stand on the other side of the front door, blowing out plumes of sweetly scented vapour.  

“What is that?” she inquired, moving to his side once her phone call to her friend Kate was done, confirming that she’d be on time for their dinner plans later that evening. “It smells delicious!” 

“Strawberry bubble gum,” he replied, taking another lungful he blew out in a huge cloud ahead. “Because I’m a massive fanny who needs his nicotine with a nice flavour.” 

“Ahh, are you using it as a quitting smoking aid?” 

He shook his head. “Nah, I’ve never smoked cigarettes. They smell vile and make you stink, but after all the shit with my ex, I needed something to de-stress a bit, so I took up vaping.” He paused. “I’m aware that makes me look like a proper massive twat, but it is what it is.”  

She giggled softly. “No, it doesn’t. When I’m drunk, I buy those disposable vapes sometimes. They’re awful, and I know they’re bad for the planet, too! Drunk Holly cannot be held accountable, though.”  

He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, same as drunk Nathan. He’s a pissing liability,” he chuckled. He paused, looking at her, the way she smiled at him, a sudden uprising of courage kicking him sharply. “Speaking of drinking, you busy later? Me and them two inside are heading to that bar just over the other side of the park tonight, Wolfpack. You fancy meeting up?” 

“Erm...” She quickly worked out times in her head. She and Kate were meeting at six, dinner could likely be an hour and a half, and they had said they’d go on someplace else afterwards. With the borough of Brent, where they currently were only just under twenty minutes via car from her home borough of Hammersmith, it was entirely possible that she could. “Yes, alright then. That’d be great!” 

His stomach all but caved in on itself with excitement. “Cool. I’ll be in there from about seven, ‘kay?” 

“Alright,” she beamed, feeling little darts prickling her tummy. “I’ll be there later; I have dinner plans with my mate first. Mind if I bring her along, too?” 

Blowing out another cloud, he shook his head. “Nah, no worries.” He might’ve appeared cool on the outside, but within, he had fireworks going off in his chest. He felt fifteen again, and as soon as Holly had left the shop half an hour later, it showed.  

“Blud, why you bouncing?” Chris asked, just the three of them all between clients, Nathan tapping the pen in his hand begin the counter as he bounced on his heels. 

“Has she moved away from the shop yet?” 

Kelsey turned to peer through the windows. “She’s just got into a black cab.” As soon as he heard that statement he jumped up and down a few times, punching the air. 

“Fucking got a date with her! She’s meeting us later! A few more air punches followed before he composed himself, taking a deep breath through his nose. “And I’m back to being a calm adult.”  

His friends shared a look, Kelsey thinking how adorable his excitement was. It was nice to see. He’d been bordering on morose at times since his split from Lisa. “Only taken you nineteen years, but you got there in the end, eh Gilly?” 

“Better late than never.” he replied, misting his station with antibacterial spray, his next client due to arrive at any moment. That client was a guy he’d originally met over in Dublin, who he’d reconnected with back in London a while ago. Alex was a gargantuan rugby player in the middle of having a full Japanese themed back piece done by Nathan, the appointment taking up the rest of his afternoon until they shut at 6:30pm.  

They worked long hours at the shop, Closed Sunday and Monday, but open from 10am – 7pm Tuesday to Thursday, and 10am – 9pm on Friday, 9am – 6:30pm on Saturday. With nowhere else to be since the dissolution of his marriage, Nathan had begun booking people in late on other weeknights too, giving himself something to take his mind off the fact that he was separated and truly didn’t really want to be. 

Well, that was only half true.  

He was very glad to be free of Lisa after how things had ended between them, but he’d liked being married. He really wasn’t the type of guy who was into playing the field, hence why his friends had been so alarmed at the speed he’d ended up shagging the girl earlier that day.  

In Nathan’s defence, he’d been horny. Very horny, and maybe just a tiny bit lit from the shot of vodka he’d had that morning upon waking, something to soothe his hungover brain. He made a point of never working under the influence, taking too much pride in his work for that, but one shot wasn’t the end of the world, and it had definitely helped him feel more human again.  

After finishing up the latest section of the huge dragon head upon his client’s back, he went and had a few more tots from the bottle of vodka in his fridge before taking a quick shower and changing, meeting his friends back in the shop before they locked up and headed across the park to Wolfpack. Cue Nathan to spend the next hour trying to play it cool, but failing miserably. Whenever anyone female entered the bar, his eyes snapped over, checking to see if it was Holly. Much tapping and neck scratching ensured. 

“Gilly, you’re going to give yourself carpal tunnel. Stop riffing!” Kelsey advised him, pulling his hand away from within his masses of hair. Immediately, he began drumming his fingers on the table. “Such a jittery boy!” 

He cringed slightly, looking perturbed as anxiety corded through his entire body. “Can’t help it, bruv. She’s too hot for me! I mean really, proper gorgeous, she is. And she’s meeting my scruffy rocker arse. Can’t cope, Kels.”  

He was so adorable. “Oh, no, no, no. There’ll be none of this. You, my friend, are bloody lovely. If I had to shag a guy, like if my life depended on letting a penis near me, I’d choose you. You’re a hottie, so stop sitting there looking like a deer caught in the headlights, and scratching like you’ve got the same amount of ticks as one!” 

“Still wanna hide,” he muttered, laughing at himself. 

Nathan was usually so chilled out, it was very odd for her to see him in any other way. Hell, the man had managed to score with a girl in less than five minutes just hours before, not that she really wanted to dwell on such an out of character occurrence too heavily, though.  

“Why though?” she cried gently, shaking his arm. “You were vibing so well with her earlier, and now look at you! Working yourself into a state.” 

“Yeah, but that was on my turf and now I just... ahh, pissing hell. Where’s Chris with those shots?” Turning his attention towards the bar, he could just about make out the sight of his bald head, thankfully appearing to be somewhat close to getting served. It was a very typically busy night. “It’s because it’s her. I’m telling you, she’s too hot for me.” 

“For the love of the virgin Mary’s bicycle!” she exclaimed, making him snort laugh. It was always ‘for the love of the virgin Mary’s’ something or other with her, and it never failed to crack him up. “Calm down, stop scratching your neck and just breathe! Where’s zen Nath? He needs to come back.” 

The back of his neck continued to receive a good scratching. “He’s otherwise engaged.” Looking towards the doors, he saw two women walk in, his heart hammering. Not her, thankfully. He needed the next round Chris was buying to arrive before Holly did.  

Thinning her lips, she contemplated her next statement for a moment. “This isn’t anything to do with Lisa, is it? She didn’t say anything rotten that’s dented you, did she? Because Jesus Harold Christ, I will knock her through the floor if she did.”  

Trust his favourite butch battleaxe on earth to be so protective. She always had been, and if you didn’t know how sweet and gentle Kelsey was, her sheer size alone cut her from a very intimidating cloth. He’d witnessed her knock out fully grown men in the past.  

He huffed slightly, raising his eyebrows before sinking the rest of his pint. “She said plenty of rotten things, but we don’t speak of her any longer.”  

Truly, Kelsey had hit the nail on the head. It was a little bit of his estranged wife’s nastiness making him nervous, but mostly it was a Holly specific. She was the girl he’d fancied from the ages of eleven to fifteen, and even though he was a grown thirty-four-year-old man, seeing her again had reminded him of being fifteen and way too shy and awkward to make a move on her.  

Luckily, Chris arrived back with a tray of drinks, buying them two pints and two shots each, save going up again with how packed the place was. Nathan’s two shots of Jägermeister had been sunk before he’d even sat down. 

“Blud, easy now!” he exclaimed, Nathan grimacing at the taste, but enjoying the warm feeling of the alcohol spreading through his chest. “You can’t be getting all wreck up before she even gets here, fam!” 

“I can and I will, bruv,” he joked, taking a big gulp of his fresh pint, his eyes once again flitting to the entrance. This time, it wasn’t a false alarm. “Oh, hell upon hell. She’s here.” 

His heart thundered in his chest at seeing her, her eyes scanning the crowd, smiling and waving when she saw him. God, she looked great. She was dressed casually in a figure-hugging black bodysuit with a high neck, her toned arms on show, and a pair of wide legged green trousers with very high heels that boosted her height up more than the flipflops she’d been wearing that afternoon.  

“I’m legit having palpitations.” he muttered, Kelsey wrapping her arms around him and kissing his forehead. By the time she arrived with him, he’d calmed down a little bit, Holly introducing her friend Kate to them all, the women taking a seat. Immediately, Holly began sniffing the air.  

“Oooh, what’s that lovely smell?” Sniffing around some more, she leaned closer to Nathan, identifying him as the source. “You smell delish!” 

“Thanks.” He would say that was the moment he calmed down, but no, because the way she viewed him so appreciatively, Nathan felt anything but. In a good way, though.  

[starsandsunkissed]

Part 1/2

Part 2 here: https://www.tumblr.com/starsandsunkissed/745253788621963264/birthday-gifts-starsandsunkissed-harry-potter?source=share

~•~

The early morning sun flooded the windows of the Gryffindor Common room as Holly made her way down the girls' staircase. Spotting Ron in their usual corner, reading a book, she grinned and made her way over.

"Happy birthday, Ron," Holly greeted him, giving him a small punch to the shoulder as some upper-years made their way down. It was his idea to keep their still fledgling romance a secret — citing the twins and their antics — so, in public, they kept displays of affection to a minimum.

"Thanks," he said with a smile.

She sat down next to him, putting her bag on the floor beside her. "Er—here's your gift." She took out an orange-wrapped box and placed it on the table.

Ron shook his head, and Holly knew what was coming. "You already got me one? Chudley, remember?" he said, referring to the owl they had, rather ironically, owl-ordered after Scabbers had died.

"That doesn't count, that was a belated Christmas gift."

"But you already got me a Christmas gift—"

"Just take it. Please?" She widened her eyes in a silent plea.

"Fine."

He opened the present to reveal a hand-carved wooden box. It was nothing special—half the size of a Muggle shoebox and half a hand high, coloured a brilliant red. She had painstakingly carved the Chudley Cannons logo on the lid, with smaller, less detailed broomsticks surrounding it. 

"You got me a Secrets box?" asked Ron, confused.

Holly knew Lavender had one for her makeup. It was a six-inch cube that she boasted held twice that. The box would lock itself every time it closed, and would only unlock when the owner used a wand and said a password.

"Well, not really, but close. I made it in Runes. Hagrid and Professor Babbling helped me out with getting the wood and carving and stuff. I had to do some extra credit projects, but it was worth it," she said with a grin, wiping her sweaty hands on her robes.

Ron stared at the present in awe. "You shouldn't have."

Holly grinned. "I wanted to. Go on, open it."

Inside was a collection of the sweets she had seen him buy during their unexpected solo Hogsmeade trip the year before, along with several non-magical novelties. He took out a packet of—"Raffa Cakes?"

"Jaffa Cakes."

"Oh," said Ron, closing the hinge-free box.

"You can set the box up to answer any password you want, you just need to tap it with your wand when you say it."

When Ron continued to examine the box, she added, "I know it's a bit small, but I didn't want to risk making it too big and messing it up, and I figured you wouldn't want something showy anyway. You always said Fred and George mess with your things and I...well, I thought it would be a good idea. Having something they don't know about and can't break into easily."

Her boyfriend continued to run his fingers over the red-stained willow wood, looking between her and the box with a neutral stare.

[theothermaidoftarth]

Exposure

T | pre-Cregan Stark/Nettles

Takes place between chapters 1 and 2 of World on Fire. A small ficlet in Cregan’s pov.

Word count: 1,444

Cw: ableism, angst, complicated relationships, family dynamics

When would he stop for breath?, Cregan thought, looking at his son in mild amusement. An amusement which waned as he heard Rickon speak of ‘Missus Nettles’ for the third time in as many minutes. It would have been of little note had he not also done as much the day before while visiting his grandmother. Cregan could feel Lady Gilliane glancing at him with increasing amusement. 

She laughed at the last thing his son had said, hands flapping in his excitement, a gesture she never thought twice of from him. Had it been Cregan... “The undercrofts. Fine place for snares. But would our guest think so? Do you mean to send her running south so soon, my lad?”

Cregan only just held back a snort, though he knew his mother to be japing. Of course a young woman who claimed a dragon the size of a small keep was not faint of heart. Mistress Nettles’ diminutive stature belied her mettle. On the first night of her arrival he saw as much firsthand, many times over. Much of that in his study as she sat before his desk in that ridiculous dress which hung from her like a set of drapes, or a shroud. And he, cold-hearted scoundrel that he was, chose to proceed as if she were not the spirited girl from Jacaerys’ last letter, giving free reign to his ire when their circumstances were no more to her liking than his. He looked at her in the way which had made grown men quail since he was four-and-ten and she looked back with not so much as a startled blink.

It was his undoing. He only acknowledged as much to himself after she came across him in the hot springs. And by then it was too late. He had fallen, hard; his every other thought of her, her wants, her needs, her comfort. Her hopes and dreams and future plans…

Cregan forbeared to cease his son’s babbling; it would only look the worse for him, fermenting his mother’s suspicions. If he had nothing to fear, why put a stop to the boy’s chatter? It was not as if it reminded him that Rickon still had no mother; that Arra was dead and gone, never again to grace the world with her cutting wit; that the young woman whose kindness had so warmed his son could not stay; that Nettles could not remain a part of Rickon’s life. Not as his mother, not as Cregan’s wife. Why would she want him, Cregan was not Osric; he was not as Brandon had been or even Elric.

It seemed no time at all when the lunch hour approached and Bessa bustled Rickon away, leaving Cregan quite alone with his mother. Terrance Snow would be here soon with her medics and mayhap Hollys to tidy the room but for now it was just them.

“I hear you still seat her to your right.”

And who had told her that? There were too many fucking answers. “Should I not? Last I knew she was still a envoy.”

Gilliane knew every one of his silences, every one of his stony looks. Just as he knew her hums and tuts, mysteries it had taken half his life to solve.

“If you were not you, shall I tell you what I would suggest?” she began and he grit his teeth around his ire. Not the first time she had said so. At least twice in his memory, mayhap not as much as other mothers in her place would have but each time it was a blade in his gut. If you were not you; if you were different. 

His father never said similar when he lived but the way he looked at Cregan told it true. Would that you were the younger son and Willam the elder. Or worse, would that you had died and he had lived. Centuries before the dragons came, Northmen used to leave unwanted children out in the snow to die, exposed upon the mountains. Cregan wondered sometimes if Lord Rickon would have done so, had the practice still thrived by the time of his birth, a too-quiet babe who squirmed away from all touch as if being branded, who hardly responded to his own name or smiled or laughed or babbled. He knew this because of his mother, some from servants’ whispers but mostly his mother who told him straight to his face. He wasn’t sure if he loved her more for such honesty or not.

“You will tell me all the same,” he said now.

“Take her to your bed. Or go to hers, whichever.”

He stood at once. “Good day to you, Mother.” He did not even stop to bow as he crossed to the door. A few paces from the door, he halted but only to turn and say, “Do not think that Mistress Nettles is only her dragon.”

His mother affected a look of mild affront. “Oh now you insult me. I thought nothing of the sort. But such a look in your eye, as if you’d fall on even your own sword in defence of her… Is this how it is then? Ah, fine, do not answer. But you know as well as I, he would turn in his crypt to see this.” Father. The man he’d tried to honour all his life. Had he been proud of him at all at the time of his death, even a little?

Cregan flexed his jaw. “Then let him do so. He does not dictate what I do, how I live my life.” He’d accept if Nettles didn’t want him and let it be, but to cease for the sake of a ghost? To never be touched by her, body and soul for the sake of a dead man who half despaired of him in life? No, Cregan would not live his life so. He might well be dead himself then.

Gilliane smiled then, small and sly. “No son of mine ought do any less.”

“Are you winning?”

He turned from the mannequin, startled, to see Nettles just at the edge of the training yard. She had seen him naked and he had not been as flustered. He was in his element here, steel in hand and muscles aching. He did not need to worry she’d be impressed; most who saw him were. But still he was flustered, like a boy at his first bout. She had not seen him here before; he had not expected to see her now. And they were alone, as they had been by the hot springs. It gave the moment an unexpected weight. There were no judging eyes to stare, or mouths to smirk behind hands if his wits proved too dull, his tongue too graceless.

He did so want to say something to make her laugh. He wanted to see those dimples of hers again. Laughter limned her voice more oft than not but rarely lit her eyes; she was more serious than she first appeared. Less so now than her first night here. He had been happy to see it, to bask in the rays of her joy. To be touched by her again.

“If you came afore midday, you would see me win against men of flesh and blood.” He rolled his shoulders backwards but she did not look at his muscles, did not giggle, bite her lip, glance up at him through her lashes with a smile. Was he doing this wrong? He had not done so with either Arra or Jacaerys. Things fell into place differently with them both. He had been different; with her, and with him and now.

“Tomorrow then,” her smile was small, sad. “Tomorrow is…” her last day. His stomach roiled. So little time. Nettles smiled brighter, counterfeit gold. “Tomorrow is a fine time for me to experience the north in full. Bring everything full circle. I shall see your finest sword,” she tipped her head to him and he felt hot blood sweep up his neck to his cheeks, “dance my last jig, mayhap find a shadowcat to tame.” As she walked backwards, she grinned at whatever look must have passed across his face. “Think I couldn’t?”

“I think you could. That’s what worries me.”

“And then when I triumph, you will feel awe instead.” 

She was too far away to hear when he said, “I already do.” Do you not know what you have already won? He would tell her, would overcome his clumsy tongue and find a way to tell her until she knew without doubt. In my eyes, you are crowned in glory.

Read on ao3