#holidays for retail employees are always a time

[esspurrr]

im gonna have no patience for "holiday stressed" customers this year like grow up if you cant find some specific ass thing im sure your family will be happy youre all gathered together regardless and if they arent? dont waste your time gathering with them then

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

The Lap Mishap 🎄 (Toji x Fem!Reader x Gojo 18+ One Shot)

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader x Gojo Satoru

Synopsis: In which an innocent situation turns into something a lot more complicated (and sloppier) when you accidentally give the two coworkers that you despise raging boners while working as a mall elf for the holiday season. Fortunately for you, they have a way you can make it up to them and save all of their jobs.

Tags: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINORS GTFO); Mall Santa!Toji; Mall Elves!Gojo & Reader; Younger Woman/Older Men; College Student!Reader x DILF!Toji (Late 30s-Early 40s) x College Student!Gojo (Early 20s); Accidental Boner; Groping; Lap-Sitting; Voyeurism; Masturbation; Dubcon/R*pe; Threesome; Deepthroat; Spit Play; Oral (Giving & Receiving); Facefuck; Objectification; Slutification; Degradation/Praise; Mild Daddy Kink; Bathroom Sex; Cum Play; Throatpies; No PIV

Writer’s Note: I finished this nasty ass one shot just NOW after my new job because I couldn’t wait till this weekend to do it. I haven’t written something this lewd in a hot min tee hee 🤭 I hope y’all enjoy!! -Jazz 🥰🥰

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

“Well, don’t you look adorable.”

You glower at the smug and unfortunately attractive older man sitting at the table in the employee’s lounge with a mug of coffee decorated with running Christmas reindeer. “Don’t, Toji,” you deadpan, crossing your arms over your ample bosom. “I’m not in the mood for this.”

Toji, the sexy, smug older man in question, sniggers into his coffee. “Well, shit, sourpuss,” he replies in his deep, bare toned voice that sends unwanted shivers down our spine. “I was just givin’ you a compliment. C’mon, you know you look cute!”

‘Cute’ isn’t at all what you’d call your elf outfit for your unwanted shift at your crummy seasonal job at the mall.

You would first call it ‘stupid’ because of the pointed green hat and boots you’re forced to wear with the jingling bells attached so you always make noise when you walk.

The second thing you’d call it is ‘slutty’. The red vest hugs your ample tits which you’ve been blessed and cursed with by the lineage of women in your family, the push-up bra making your girls way more noticeable.

The green skater skirt is way too short and you have to be very careful bending anywhere in fear of flashing someone your panties.

And you won’t even mention the red and white striped thigh-high socks and gloves. You feel like a stripper about to make her grand debut at the North Pole dancing in Santa’s workshop!

There is no way the costume designers didn’t know what the fuck they were doing here. You had to rush down the hallway after changing in the locker room to avoid being seen by your fellow overworked and underpaid seasonal employees and mall workers.

You had originally decided to work retail this season to save up on money for Christmas gifts and next year’s tuition. You’re a college student, so your stress levels are at about 100 with winter finals, buying gifts, and still keeping enough sanity to celebrate the holidays on winter break.

You’ve been working retail shifts at Bath & Body Works since September to get a head start on saving plus doing office work for your manager and taking some shifts as a greeter at City Winery aka the only decent restaurant at your local mall.

You thought your time here couldn’t get any worse than customers complaining about discontinued body washes and screaming kids, but you were wrong. When your manager picked you to be the mall elf for the mall Santa shifts this month, you thought you died and descended into Hell.

The only saving graces are that it is only for one month, you get extra pay, and you only have to work four hours throughout the day in this stupid costume. You thought you would have time to relax until the first shift in the privacy of the employee’s lounge, but clearly not.

Of course, you’re forced to share the space with a coworker you can’t stand. “What are you even doing in here?” you ask, scowling at Toji. “Don’t the security guards have their own lounge?”

“Eh,” Toji says, shrugging. “Too many people smoke in there. Plus, you guys got the best mugs.” He raises his mug at you and raises his brows once, smirking at you with that sinful, scarred mouth. “Plus, I need to relax before my shift.”

You sigh, carefully walking into the lounge and taking your Starbucks Frappuccino out of the fridge despite Toji’s presence making you feel nervous enough to fog up your glasses.

Toji Fushiguro is the hot DILF security guard that works full time at the mall to support his son as a single dad. You’ve been working the same shifts as him since September, always earning unwanted attention from him when he opens the doors for you when you arrive and leave your mall shifts.

It is no secret that you strongly dislike the man. He is cocky, pompous, arrogant, and always smells faintly of cigarettes. He is also extremely sexy, standing at six-foot something with defined muscles and arms that could wrestle a bear. You can see why he was hired as a security guard.

He is also a huge slut according to the stories you’ve heard. The man has HUGE community dick (and a huge dick, apparently). He knows he is attractive and knows how to get what he wants from women. But not you, even though he has tried. You wave off his compliments, uninterested in spending any kind of time with him. He is a whore and nothing more.

But Toji isn’t the only coworker at this mall that you detest. “Hey, Fushiiii,” the familiar, silky voice of your fellow college student mockingly sings from the door. Toji begins to laugh, nearly coughing into his coffee. “Damn, Gojo, you look ridiculous!” he guffaws.

You turn from the fridge and you wish you didn’t. Of course, Gojo Satoru is dressed in his own elf costume.

The tall, beefy, six foot-something college athlete and smarty-pants looks less ridiculous than you do despite the silliness of the outfit. His white locks peek out from under his pointed hat and his red socks are stretched tight over his strong calves.

You hide your laughter, refusing to even crack a smile around the guy. Unfortunately, you’re familiar with Satoru. He isn’t quite a friend or really an enemy either…not even an acquaintance. He is more of a colleague who goes to the same school as you and you’ve had many courses with despite you being a junior and him being a senior.

He is also incredibly intelligent, the star basketball player on your uni’s team, just as cocky as Toji, and incredibly good-looking. You’ve had many thoughts of his plump, pink lips and Colgate smile when you should be studying.

Satoru is more than convinced that you two are friends who sometimes flirt. When he sees you, his blue eyes are all aglow. “Ooooh, don’t you look so cute!” he coos.

“Oh, please, don’t start,” you groan, rolling your eyes. “I already had to hear that from him.” You nod at the security guard sitting spread eagle at the table. “But it’s true, ain’t it?” Toji sniggers. “You’re gonna get a whole lot of attraction with this little get-up.”

He reaches out and flicks one of the tiny bells attached to your belt. “Cut it out!” you hiss, slapping his hand away. Your skin grow hot with frustration and embarrassment.

“Oooh, she’s feisty,” Satoru chuckles. “Hang on, I need to get a picture. This is just too good.” He slides his phone out of his pocket, but you duck behind a nearby chair.

“Don’t,” you growl. “Take a picture of yourself. I’m sure your boys on your team would love to see your new get-up.”

Satoru laughs, coming into the kitchen, ducking under the door to avoid hitting his head because he’s so goddamn tall. “I already did and I still look good,” he replies. “How much you wanna bet I’ll snag a single MILF with this fit?”

He gives you a wink while Toji laughs, eyes still on you. Anyone else would feel rather intimidated being in a room with two broad, tall, hot dudes, but it is as if you have no inkling that these two are even remotely attracted to you.

A little self-deprecating of you, but you’re an extreme nerd. Not only are you rocking glasses that make your eyes explode to the capacity of the frames, you always have your nose stuck in a book or a study guide. You don’t get involved in dating on campus or who is fucking who.

While it would be nice to find someone nice to call a boyfriend, you know that men are too involved with less-nerdy girls to even try to talk to you, and you prefer it that way…at least, that’s what you tell yourself.

“You wish,” you scoff at Satoru as he passes you to grab a bottle of water. As he does, his hip bumps yourself, making you feel as if you’ve just been burned.

“She’s gotchu there, Gojo,” Toji chuckles. “Not when my sexy ass is gonna be wearin’ this Santa outfit.”

“Wait, what?” You turn to stare at the security guard, mouth open in shock. “You’re playing the mall Santa this year?”

Toji nods and smirks at your reaction, moving his legs from under the table to reveal his leather boots and red pants with furry, white trim along the ankles and belt. His black tee is tight against his toned, impressive upper torso, outlining each ridge of his pecs and abs.

“That’s correct, my dear elf,” he teasingly answers, making Satoru snigger. “You’re about to be workin’ for me in the next few minutes and for the rest of the month.”

“And workin’ with me,” Satoru adds, his pink lips curled into a teasing smile that boils your blood. “Your favorite project partner and classmate.” He, too, plays with the bell on your belt, making you swat his hand away.

This couldn’t be any worse! The last thing you want is to spend the next month with these two assholes. You desperately want to hit your manager up and tell her to switch you with someone else, but you know that no one else is willing to be the mall elf this year.

So with a heavy heart, you finish your few minutes of privacy with your Frappuccino in the locker room before you’re forced to stand alongside Satoru the Mall Elf while Toji gets settled in his fake armchair among the gaudy Christmas setup for Santa Claus. Toji sits in the whole Santa getup, beard to cover his cleanly-shaven face and all. His legs are spread eagle and you have to avoid looking at him so you won’t be staring at his crotch.

Two more mall elves, high schoolers Yuji Itadori and Kugisaki Nobara, help round up the kids in line and chat with the parents (or argue with them, courtesy of Nobara) while Satoru announces to the kids how to conduct themselves around Toji Claus. “Aaaaalright, boys and girls!” he bellows, his voice echoing among the dozens of rosy-faced little munchkins. “Are y’all ready to meet Santa Claus?!”

“Yeeeeeah!” the kids cheer, overexcited and overjoyed to sit in a grown man’s lap, telling him what they want for Christmas, and get some photos snapped.

You smile a bit. You’ll admit that Satoru is good with kids being the yapper he is. “Now just as a reminder to you fine folks: no shoving, hitting, yelling or spitting. There is plenty of Santa to go around. When you finally come up here with me and this other fine elf here…”

He motions a hand to you and gives you a wink that you nearly miss. You roll your eyes, ignoring the way your stomach flips. “…you sit in Santa’s lap and nicely tell him what you’d like for Christmas,” he finishes. “You guys got it?” While some nod in understanding, others look lost. “I think they need a demonstration, Satoru!” Itadori calls while Nobara snorts.

Satoru wickedly grins at Toji, but the mall Santa isn’t having that. “Nah,” he deadpans behind his fake beard. “You’re too tall to be a kid…but she’s not.” He points at you with one gloved hand, smirking. “You ready to be a model student, college girl?” he whispers.

“Fuck off,” you hiss under your breath. There is no way he can be serious about this! “Our dear elf Y/N, Santa’s favorite elf at the North Pole, is about to demonstrate for you guys what to do,” Satoru announces, struggling hard to fight his laughter.

Toji pats his lap, his smile almost obscene. “Come, little girl: sit on Da—, I mean Santa’s lap.”

You simmer hot with anger and frustration, not just for him but for Satoru who even thought to encourage this. But with the kids and parents all looking at you, you have no choice.

Swallowing your pride and not-so-nice words, you smooth your skirt over your ass and take a tentative seat in Toji’s warm, muscular lap. You sit rigidly, your hands stiffly in your lap and shoulders tense.

Toji places a hand on the arm of his chair, right next to your elbow. “Now what would you like for Christmas, hm?” he asks. “A Barbie? A puppy? Maybe a sense of humor?”

You turn to him, your jaw thigh. “I hate you,” you mouth.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you too well, little girl,” he replies, tapping his ear. “Santa’s hearin’ ain’t too good. Can you speak up for me?” His eyes glow with humor and mirth, finding enjoyment in your suffering.

You fix a smile onto your face and look straight at the happy-faced kids. “A Barbie please, Santa,” you chirp, your voice fake and cheery. Suddenly, a big, gloved hand snakes around your waist, holding you firmly onto his lap. You gape at him, alarmed. “W-What are you—“

“And what else, little girl?” he interrupts, his voice growing lower. More seductive. “Go on, tell ol’ Santa what else you’d like under your tree.” His grip tightens a bit, not enough to hurt you but just enough to be possessive of you. You stare at him, completely speechless.

“Oh, oh, I want a kitty cat!” a little girl yells from the line of kids. Her bold statement causes the other kids to begin screaming out what they want. The commotion distracts the adults enough for you to deal with Toji. “What the hell are you doing?!” you hiss. “Let go of me!”

You try to stand up, but Toji tightens his arm and snatches you back down, his fingers nearly digging into your thigh as your skirt rides up an inch. “Ah-ah, don’t move around too much, doll,” he whispers, his voice like smooth whiskey. “You’ll cause somethin’ that you didn’t intend to do…or maybe you did.”

As you see his eyes grow hooded, you feel your stomach fluttering with frantic butterflies��as well as something else. Something you feel growing underneath you. When you accidentally shift in Toji’s lap, he quietly groans behind his fake beard, muffling the noise, but you hear it.

You also feel the very obvious, hard, swelling, throbbing bulge growing underneath your ass. “Oh, my God,”you gasp, looking behind you. “Y-You’re…you’re ha—“

“Sorry,” he apologizes though he doesn’t sound the least bit sorry. “But can ya blame me? I’m a guy, after all.”

You gape at him, your face ablaze, unsure of what to do or how to feel. Should you feel flattered? Disgusted? Embarrassed? With the way his hand is still securely wrapped around you, you aren’t sure anymore. “Y-You can’t—“

“What?” Toji chuckles, his laughter soft yet seductive. “Don’t act like you’re not enjoyin’ this or like you haven’t been eye-fucking me since we met.” His gray eyes slide over to the tall, white-haired elf currently chatting up a married couple. “Not just me but the basketball star too.”

You are unable to talk despite your desire to protest. But he’d know you weren’t telling the truth.

Toji pulls his beard down to show off his plump, kissable lips and you have the sudden urge to kiss his scar. “Lucky for you, babes, I’ve got a thing for chicks with glasses.” He smiles up at you, the act somehow making him more handsome and more irritating.

His grip loosens and you finally shoot out of his lap as if your ass is on fire. Speaking of ass, the damn thing is nearly out because of how your skirt has ridden up past your red stockings.

“Alright, boys and girls!” Satoru yells. “Time for…” He turns around, just in time to get a flash of your red panties and how soft and suckable your thighs look in your stockings. ”Fuck,” he says under his breath, gaping at you and envisioning some very nasty things.

“Time for some photos!” Itadori calls. “Everybody line up, one at a time to meet Santa!”

Satoru is too distracted by your soft thighs and the flash of your red panties to pay any attention to his job. You notice his eyes and quickly pull your skirt down as low as it can go….which isn’t very low.

“I’m shocked you ain’t feelin’ a draft,” Toji whispers. “Careful, doll. You might flash the kiddos.” You glare, but not at him. You don’t look anywhere at him. “I could tell you the same thing, jackass,” you hiss. “Don’t look at me.”

But you can still feel his glaring, hot gaze on you, as well as Satoru’s. Nobara has to kick him in the ankle to snap him out of it. “Uh, Gojo?” she whispers. “Helloooo? The camera for the pictures?”

Blushing as red as Toji’s uniform, Satoru quickly fumbles with the camera as the first little boy comes up to Toji, smiling big and bright for the mall Santa. You stand off to the side, discreetly pulling at your skirt and wishing to melt into the floor.

After an hour of standing there pretending not to be aroused by the idea of Toji’s cock, you’re finally given a 30-minute break for lunch. You quickly make a beeline for the security guards’ break room located at the back of the mall, knowing that most of them are posted outside or on duty on different floors.

The breakroom is luckily empty, but you can barely eat most of your lunch except for a bag of chips and gulp down some water. You can’t even relax. Mostly because of the throbbing sensation between your legs.

You whimper, shifting your body in the chair closest to the private locker room and bathroom. You have felt like this for over an hour, doing your best to ignore the tingling between your thighs as you assisted each kid.

But now as you sit in the privacy and darkness of the break room, you can’t ignore the uncomfortable wetness of your panties anymore…or how depraved you are getting horny over Toji’s cock. You know you can’t go on like this, not when you need to work.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” you mutter to yourself. But you leave your post anyway and quickly hide in the empty locker room where you proceed to shut the door and sit on the bench farthest away from it.

Quickly, you reach under your skirt and slip your panties down to your thighs. “Ah,” you gasp as the warm air hits your bare, sodden wet pussy. You are a mess. How could the idea of Toji getting a stupid boner arouse you so?

When you close your eyes, the images get worse. You see the sexy, smirking security guard peeling down his Santa pants to reveal his fat, throbbing, veiny cock just curved enough to help you imagine what it would stroke inside of you.

As you take two fingers and begin to slowly rub your needy clit, you see yourself wrapping your lips around the thick cock in front of you as your hand wraps around his shaft. You can almost taste him, feel his warm balls against your chin.

“Oh, fuck,” you whisper, your voice quivering as your fingers grow slippery. Your slick trickles down your slit as you frantically play with yourself, hearing Toji’s low moans in your head as he sinks into your throat.

You can feel yourself growing closer, your pussy oozing more and more slick just as Toji begins to fuck your face as he grabs the back of your head, pulling your hair. Your breath comes out in short pants that sound louder in the empty locker room as the knot in your core grows tighter. “T-T-To—“

The door suddenly opens and there the mall Santa stands. He looks shocked to see you at first, but then his face turns into one of pure smugness. “Now what do we have here?” he mockingly asks. “A very naughty fuckin’ girl.”

You nearly scream, quickly closing your legs and covering yourself. “Fuck!” you gasp. “What the fuck are doing in here?!”

Toji leans against the doorframe, arms crossed over his beefy chest. He has ditched the Santa jacket for his black tee, but kept the pants and boots. “Came in for a break since all the guards are on shift, but I see you decided to do the same thing.”

You flush hot with humiliation, your heart pummeling in your chest. “T-This isn’t what it looks like,” you weakly say. Toji cocks his head to the side. “Really? ‘Cause it looks and sounded like you were just rubbin’ that little pussy to the thought of me before your next shift.”

His lips curl into a knowing smile. “So the earlier situation got to you too. Lucky for you, babydoll, I’m still not over it either.”

His big hand grips his hard-on chubbing against his red pants, captivating you.

Then…zzzzzip. His fly comes down, his belt comes off, and suddenly, his cock is out and slapping against his toned stomach and happy trail. It is as thick, veiny, and curved as you envisioned in your fantasy. Your eyes grow wide at the sight like a deer caught in headlights. Suddenly, you can’t move.

“I’m still very much on the hard side,” he breathlessly states, his eyes hooded with lust. “And since this is your fault, I think you need to take responsibility for it.” He flashes his teeth at you in a grin, wrapping a hand around his hard cock. “Kill two birds with one stone, so to speak.”

You watch him jerk his dick in front of you, your pussy clenching around air at the lewd sight. Suddenly, he stops and walks up to you, his boots thudding across the floor. He looms over you, a wolfish grin on his face, and you lean back as far as you can against the lockers like a trapped animal. “C’mon, you can be a good little helper for Santa and help me out, right?”

You don’t know whether to say yes or tell him to go fuck himself. You know you should go for the second option. After all, he’s being a pervert and using earlier as an excuse.

But somehow, all common knowledge, logic, and ethics go out the window when you suddenly find yourself dragged into a bathroom stall and kneeling on the tiled floor with Toji’s cock in your mouth. His big hand intertwines in your hair, his thick, calloused fingers gripping each strand to push and pull you onto his cock.

“You’re doin’ so good so far, babydoll,” he praises, his voice strained with pleasure. “Keep it up for me, ‘kay? You’ve got about twenty minutes left to make Santa cum.”

His groans and grunts are quiet yet delicious, heard by your ears only in the empty bathroom stall as your cheeks hollow around his cock. He is bigger and thicker than you anticipated, leaving your jaw aching trying to accommodate him as you suck him off. Saliva drips down from your mouth down your chin, threatening to stain your top.

As if thinking the same thing, Toji rips your top down, exposing your tits to him. “Fuck, look at how sexy you are,” he groans, watching the way your chest jiggles and sways as your throat expands and flexes around him. “Such a good little slut for me. Swore you didn’t want me, but now look at you.”

He forces your chin up to look at him, your watery eyes and crooked glasses staring up into his devious, salacious gaze. “Betcha you always wanted to do this,” he chuckles. “Betcha you played hard to get just to drive me fuckin’ crazy like the little cock whore you are.”

He wipes some spit away from your lips before he pushes himself in deeper, nearly making you choke. You pull yourself away far enough to cough and catch your breath. “T-Toji, wait,” you gasp. “You’re too deep!”

He ignores you, forcing your mouth open and plunging himself back between your plush, wet lips to sink into your sloppy, velvety throat. “But you can take me, baby,” he pants. “Oooh, I know you can. Sluts like you feen for nasty shit like this.”

He begins to fuck your face, emitting squelching sounds from his wet cock constantly plunging into your throat as you gag around him. “Yeah, that’s it,” he moans in delight. “That’s what I like to hear. You just keep bein’ a good girl for me, baby.”

Your throat continues to make the most obscene, wet, and lewd sounds, the squelching and gagging possibly drifting throughout the bathroom and locker room rafters. The more Toji rails your face and plunges his cock into your throat, the louder the sounds become. His grunts and moans also grow louder, bouncing off of the tiled walls.

You can tell he is close from the way he grabs the back of your head, forcing your face closer until his balls are flush against your chin. “Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum!” he groans, his muscular, naked thighs tense as he fucks your mouth like he is trying to hit a home run. “C’mon, doll, take Daddy’s fuckin’ load.” He pauses, chuckling. “I mean take Santa’s load. You want a white Christmas, don’tcha?”

You can’t even answer. You can’t warn him either when the door to the bathroom suddenly opens just as Toji’s loud, guttural groan of release escapes his mouth. As the bathroom stall flies open, a load of Toji’s warm spunk floods your throat, filling your mouth to capacity. There is so much that it spills out of the corners of your mouth and down your chin.

“Fuck!” he moans, soft high-pitched hums leaving his lips as he slides his cock out of your mouth and pumps the rest of his cum onto your glasses. Droplets of spunk fly onto the lenses, fogging them up.

You can’t be more horrified by anything else when you turn and find Satoru standing there in his elf costume. He looks shocked to see you kneeling there before Toji with cum all over your mouth, glasses, and some on your tits with your pussy openly gushing through your panties on the floor. But once the shock subsides, a Cheshire Cat-like smile appears on his lips. “Oops,” he chuckles. “Guess I’m in the wrong bathroom.”

Toji laughs, sounding like a straight-up villain. “Nah, you’re in the right place. You’ve still got time left if ya wanna use it on her.” Satoru shuts the bathroom stall and you realize just how big it exactly is. Big enough for three people. “Shit,” he scoffs, a shit-eating grin on his face. “What else am I here for?”

Both men look down upon you like you’re no more than a dessert plate for consumption. Despite the ridiculous costumes, the duo remind you of villains. “Sorry to shock you, cutie, but he ain’t the only one you’ve got rock.” Satoru palms his hard cock pushing against his green pants. “I’ve been thinkin’ about those lips and these panties for hours.”

He kneels and forces you into a face-down, ass-up position, making you squeak in surprise. You have to cushion your cheek with your hands to avoid the nasty floor. When one of Satoru’s fingers slides against your pantyline, you gasp. “Oh! And she’s wet!” He tuts at you, giving your ass a harsh spank and groaning at the recoil. “Naughty little elf. What would Santa say?”

He takes your panties by the waistband and tugs them tight against your wet pussy, making you whimper at the friction. Toji chuckles, giving your ass his own harsh spank. “Santa’s says this little whore needs to be punished,” he whispers and it’s almost threatening to your ears.

And punish you, they do…in their own wicked, lewd, torturous way. Suddenly, you find yourself sitting on the toilet seat with your legs while Toji kneels between your thighs, slurping and licking away at your cunt while his thick finger fucks your hole. Satoru stands to your left, rutting his hips into your mouth, his long dick plunging in and out of your throat.

“Fuck, your mouth is so wet, honey,” he moans, palming one of your tits. “Shit, Toji, how much did you cum in here?” His handsome face is flushed and his blue eyes are desperate as he does his best to quiet his whimpers and whines over your sloppy throat.

Toji chuckles, his tongue piercing tickling your clit as he flicks the tip of his tongue against it, sending shocks of sensitivity and tingles of pleasure throughout your body. “Enough to make her throat slick enough to fuck.” Your pussy clenches around his finger, your velvety, slick walls tightening around his digit.

The older man looks up at you, smirking into your desperate, needy eyes. “Oooh, I tasted that gush. You like the sound of another throatpie for that slutty mouth, babydoll?” He dives back into your pussy, his tongue sloshing and slashing about, probing an answer out of you. “Mmm-hmph-mmm!” you whine around Satoru’s cock, your screams muffled by his constant fucking.

Toji chortles into your pussy, pulling away to regard Satoru with your slick all over his lips. “That’s a yes,” he chuckles. Satoru blushes, overcome with lust as he watches his long cock disappear between your soft, juicy lips. “F-Fuck, I hope so,” he whines, cupping your cheek. “Goddamn, cutie, you’re fucking mouth is….”

His words die into desperate moans as he continues to ram your throat like he’s trying hard to fill it with his babies. Your nostrils are full of the scent of his body wash and cologne, somehow acting as aphrodisiacs for you. “You sound even sluttier than her,” Toji chuckles. “I think she likes it though. Look at this sexy little bitch.”

Under their hot gazes, you feel like the slut they see: titties out, pussy exposed, and getting used in a bathroom stall. Satoru takes his cock out to lightly tap your tongue. “You like gettin’ this mouth fucked at work, slutty girl?” he teases.

Before you can even think of a reply, Toji hooks his finger up in a way that makes your eyes roll back. “O-Oh, fuck!” you moan, louder than you should’ve. Satoru quickly plugs your mouth back up with his cock, plunging deeper and deeper, making you take every inch. “Mmm, that’s a pretty face, cutie. Keep lookin’ at me like that.”

His blue eyes kick on yours, reminding you of oceans in the far-away Caribbean Islands, while he slips his cock out of your mouth. He grips your chin and whispers a fierce “C’mere” before his lips are slamming against yours.

As you kiss, Toji’s tongue moves faster, his moans traveling up to your core and sending vibrations through your clit. Satoru pulls away and spits in your mouth, the act so quick and surprising that you nearly miss it.

“Spit it back on my cock,” he demands and you do, making his cock shiny with your spit before he slides back in. After a few more sloppy thrusts that cause your glasses to wobble and spit to drip down your chest, he’s close. “Shit!” he gasps. “Fuck, fuck, fuck me, m’gonna cum! You’re gonna…fuck, baby!”

You are too. You can feel your pussy tightening, clenching, throbbing with the urge to release. “Mmmm!” you whine around his cock, your thighs trembling around Toji’s neck.

The security guard intensely stares at you, forcing you to cum with that damn finger crooked inside of you. “Give it to me,” he demands. “You know you fuckin’ want to. Go ‘head, babydoll.”

You can’t help yourself. You hush all around Toji’s cock just as Satoru loses the last thread of self control and cums deep in your mouth with a long, loud moan that no doubt attracts unwanted attention from the outside.

Another fat, creamy throatpie fills your mouth and streams down your throat, nearly making you choke. Satoru luckily pulls out, but only to jerk the last drops of spunk onto your tits and glasses, staining your skirt and top in the process.

As the last tendrils of pleasure course through you, Toji slurps you up and leaves your pussy twitching from his ministrations. As he sits back to sigh, Satoru releases a huff, exhausted but satisfied. “Oh, fuck,” he groans followed by a whistle. “That was amazing! Definitely needed for a shitty shift.”

Toji nods, his lips coated in you. “I concur,” he hums in pleasure. He leans up to get eye level with you and holds your chin in his hand. “C’mere, doll…taste yourself. This slutty pussy is just too good to not share.”

He smashes his lips against yours, pulling you in for a sloppy French kiss that steals your breath away. Jealous, Satoru yanks you away towards him.

“Save some for me,” he murmurs before he leans in to kiss you, softly moshing as he does. He then pulls away, kneels, and slurps the rest of you off of your open thighs despite your whimpers of agony. It hurts too good.

Ring-ring-ring!

You jump at the sudden sound. Satoru reaches into his back pocket to get his phone. “Uh-oh!” he mockingly announces. “That’s the timer. Break time is over.”

Toji begins to get dressed, zipping up his fly and tucking in his shirt. “We should probably clean her up. Poor baby looks like she can’t even walk.” He laughs at your expense, humored by your fucked-out, messy state.

Despite them both using your holes just now, the two dress and clean you up as much as possible. They pull your skirt down, fix your top, clean off your glasses, and smooth down your skirt.

Once finished, Toji passes you a napkin out of his pocket. “Wipe your mouth, babydoll,” he sniggers. “You don’t want people to ask what’s on your face…or glasses. Shit, we did a number on ya.”

He plants a sloppy, wet tongue kiss on your mouth, filling your tongue with the taste of your pussy and himself. “This was a lot of fun, sugar,” he says with a smirk. “Call me again if you need a worthwhile break, alright?”

You wordlessly stare at him, unable to form words…or even think them.

“Same here,” Satoru adds, flashing you a smile as he fixes his costume. “I’ll know who to go to for my little ‘problem’ next time.” He presses a kiss to your cheek before he and Toji head out of the stall back to work.

But Satoru stops and turns back to you, smirking. “Oh, and…”

He bends down and snatches up your red panties, tugging on the waistband with his teeth before stuffing them in his pocket.

“These are mine.”

He gives you a wink and blows you a kiss. “See ya out there!” he hollers before he disappears out of the bathroom with Toji, leaving you alone with your thoughts and regrets. But also supremely satisfied.

In the end, you’re late back to your shift.

THE END.

[thesoftboiledegg]

This will probably be the last holiday-themed merchandise roundup of 2024. Retail stores are already winding down, although I did find a few new items...including this light-up sweatshirt at a thrift store!

However, today isn't just the year's last holiday roundup. It's also my birthday--and yep, I was born on Christmas Eve. 🎄

This year has been a little slow for Rick and Morty fans, but we had fun. The Ultimate Rick Showdown (@ultimaterickshowdown), a Christmas-themed promo, the anime (OK, maybe that one didn't land), and--oh yeah, who could forget the Rickmobile tour?

Visiting the Rickmobile was legitimately one of the best days I've ever had. It's not often that this fandom comes together in person to share our love of the series. The Adult Swim employees were great, and everyone was smiling and having a good time.

Kind of like Cool Rick! Another thrift store find.

And the socks are still in stock.

I saw these at Marshall's. I actually love the packaging.

It's not Rickmas without a new pair of pajama pants!

I'd been hoping to see the infamous Vat of Acid Christmas ornament in person, and the Hallmark store in the mall finally had it!

It's a great episode, but knowing what happens in it...yeah, I would NOT hang that on my tree.

The "skate shop" (are you REALLY a skate shop if you're a mall franchise?) had a new Members Only jacket. I actually didn't spot it on the rack until I saw the Rick and Morty tag on the sleeve.

Charlotte Russe hasn't had much Rick and Morty apparel lately, so I was pleased to find these T-shirts and pajama pants!

Buttons at the toy store!

Finally, I posted about this a while ago, but it was back on the shelves after disappearing for months, and I thought I'd share it again because it's so unique. And it's my birthday, so I can do what I want.

It's not just a figurine: it's the whole setting.

This collection is from 2017-2018, so it's a little old. I always think it's interesting to see merchandise from the seasons 2-3 days when Rick and Morty was at its peak.

Adult Swim signed off on this show and probably figured that it'd find an audience but never expected it to be the center of the zeitgeist in the mid-2010s. Some people try to rewrite history now that it's had controversies, but nope: Rick and Morty was popular. It was cool. It was THE show that everyone was watching.

I was there. I didn't watch it until 2019, but I saw it become a pop culture phenomenon. A lot has changed, but we're still on here talking about it because it means so much to us. Who knows--maybe the people who dismiss the show because of its reputation will catch on.

[searchforahero]

uh hi i was planning on posting a timjay fic for christmas but uh. that obviously didn't happen, and i have no idea if i'm ever going to finish it now, but it'd be a shame to let it rot in my notes, so. here is my partially finished timjay christmas fic :]

Christmas time always makes Jason astutely aware of just how alone he is. He’s seen the creepy spy camera footage of the Wayne holiday party. Not the one hosted by Brucie Wayne, but the real one, where Dick and Bruce try their damndest to make nice for Damian’s sake, and everyone pulls the Christmas crackers and gets overly excited for the shitty prizes contained within.

They’re always an intimate affair, Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Cass, Damian, and sometimes Tim. Jason feels his own absence deeply when he sees them, but he doubts they do. He won’t ask Bruce if he gets an invite, and he won’t admit it’s because he’s scared to hear the answer. The entire point is moot anyways, considering that even after all of these years he’s been playing nice with the Bats, and he still refuses to set foot in the manor.

He’s sitting on a high rooftop at the edge of Burnley and Newtown on Christmas Eve, watching shoppers and retail employees stumble home while the night shift and partiers take up their place. The city is bustling at this time of night, with street lights flickering and car horns honking. He can almost pretend he’s part of something, even from all the way up above it all.

Just as he’s trying to gear up to start patrol in earnest, a shadow goes flying by two buildings across from him. He watches the figure with mild interest, until it comes into the light and he can make it out to be Red Robin.

Jason wonders what he’s doing out here, sure, crime doesn’t stop for anyone’s birthday, even if that birthday belongs to Jesus himself, but It’s usually on a lesser scale around this time. Typically they can get away with having Jason keep an eye on the city with the help of a police scanner and have everyone else available for backup.

Jason watches as Tim gets closer and closer on each swing, until he lands next to him with a flourish that is found in everyone who has ever held the Robin mantle. Jason shifts slightly so he’s angled towards Tim and asks “What are you doing here Birdy?”

Tim plops down next to him with a big huff, from here Jason can see Tim’s face better. The domino only covers his eyes, and with them hidden he looks younger than he is. It’d drive Tim crazy if he said something about it, if he pointed out how even after all these years protecting the streets, the people probably still think he’s a high schooler, but to do that he’d have to admit he was staring, so he keeps quiet.

“The party was too…” Tim makes a nonsensical gesture with his hand, waving it back and forth and twisting a bit at the wrist “y'know?”

“There are so many” Jason replicates Tim’s motion “that you could be talking about that I honestly have no clue man.” This elicits a chuckle from Tim and seeing him smile, even so minutely, makes Jason realize that he’s quite sure Tim hasn’t done so at all since he landed.

Soon TIm’s shoulders fall once more and he looks down at his boots, one is bouncing along with his knee. He opens his mouth without saying anything a couple of times, little starts and stops of a sentence, until he settles on a simple “It’s been five years since my dad died.” He pauses for a good little while again, fiddling with the seams on his gloves until they’re perfectly aligned. “Christmas and Bruce and just… All of it makes me think about him on a good day, it got to be too much and I… Left.”

Jason takes that in slowly, he can’t say he hasn’t been feeling the same. He knows that Tim holds guilt over his fathers death. Jason can’t quite understand how that feels, except for in the way that everyone who has ever been left alive feels guilty that someone they loved did not. Regardless, he knows it must weigh something horrible on the other man.

What a pair they make. Waiting for Christmas together and yet not. Both alone by a self imposed prison of grief, while the people they love sit happily in front of the glow of the fireplace.

At least the person Tim is mourning is actually dead.

Jason realizes he’s been sitting there a bit too long without saying something so he shuffles a little so he can knock shoulders with Tim.

“I miss my Mom, Catharine that is. Especially around Christmas time. She loved Christmas.”

Tim twists so he can look at him, and the expressive way his lenses widen to stare at him has to be a security risk. “My Dad loved Christmas too. At least in the last few years. He, and I, and Dana would drive out to see the lights every year. Dana hated turkey, said it was always dry and tasteless, but Dad was determined to get her to like it, so we’d all crowd into the kitchen and try to make an actually good turkey. I don’t think Dad liked turkey that much either to be honest.”

Jason’s pretty sure Tim hardly breathed for that whole story. Jason and Tim are friendly to be sure, but Tim rarely if ever speaks up for much more than witty one liners, challenges to air hockey, Mario Kart, or rooftop racing, and mission briefs when it’s him and Jason.

Jason knows Tim has it in him to be chatty. He’s seen him talk Superboy’s ear off about skateboarding and he’s crashed at Dick’s apartment enough times to be used to finding Tim sitting at the kitchen island prattling on about his Wizards & Warlocks games, but that doesn’t usually extend to him.

Even just that short little story, especially about something so personal, feels foreign to Jason. He’d long since given up on anything more than a working friendship with Tim, especially after the less than warm reception Tim gave him when Bruce took him on as Wingman. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, Tim is clearly lonely and hurting, but he can’t help it.

“Mom and I would rent skates for the evening for the frozen trails in Robinson Park. Have you ever been? They’re so pretty at night.”

When Jason chances a glance over at Tim he finds him smiling at him. He can’t see his eyes but his lips are quirked up minutely at the corners. Jason’s glad he made the right choice there, he didn’t know Tim well enough to say if ‘bond over dead parents’ was an acceptable conversation direction.

“I’ve never been no. I hardly knew how to skate until Bruce taught me.” Tim drums his fingers on the ledge before he adds “Do you want to go? It probably won’t be too busy with how cold it is tonight. You do have skates in your uniform don’t you?”

Jason startles a little, he kind of figured Tim would be on his way soon. He’d either work through his Bruce issues and head back to the manor, or he’d call Superboy and hang out with Young Justice. But he seems pretty settled on hanging with Jason for some reason.

“Uh, sure yeah. I do. We can do that.” Jason’s always thought it would be more practical to have high tech no-slip boot soles instead of extendable skates in their uniforms. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to axe the design after years of twirling around Mr. Freeze on skates as a child. Stupid Bruce.

the plan from here was that they were going to go skating and then tim would invite jason to spend christmas with him and dana and they'd cook a turkey together <3 but. alas.

[bananastarion]

The Baldur's Gate 3 companions if they were forced to work boring modern day retail jobs, for some reason

Karlach would be out there doing her best, always there to reach the shelves that are too high for everyone else and doing all the heavy lifting. She gets in trouble a lot for accidentally dropping f-bombs within earshot of customers. She's the one you call over if a customer is giving you a hard time- she has no issue with telling them off and checking in to make sure you're okay. She gets a kick out of setting off all those tacky singing and dancing stuffed animals they put out on holidays, making your ears bleed. She's a bull in a china shop, and more than occasionally you'll hear a loud crash because Karlach accidentally knocked over a display again. She's also the reason the fire alarms keep going off. But despite all of that, she's by far the most fun to work with.

Nobody in their right mind would hire Lae'zel for a customer service position- but she makes a damn effective security guard. Maybe a little too effective- most of the time she is intimidating enough that all she has to do is shoot them a threatening look, and they behave. Sometimes she goes a bit overboard, though- like that time she made a guy bow down before her and beg for mercy, all because he stole a snickers bar. He swears he has no idea how it even got in his pocket!

Astarion is the coworker from hell. He doesn't actually do any work. When he's not taking unauthorized breaks, he's sneaking around to avoid helping customers. If a customer is unlucky enough to catch him, he'll just give them a snide remark or send them to Gale. Since he was hired, there has been a very suspicious inventory shrinkage. He distracts the cashiers from doing their work and they have formed a mean girl clique that gossips about everyone else. He'll also occasionally slip a product in a customer's pocket and report to Lae'zel he saw them shoplifting, then sit back and enjoy the show. The only reason he hasn't been fired is because he flirts with your middle aged divorced boss, who is putty in his hands.

Wyll's dad is a well to-do politician, but he insisted Wyll get a blue collar job so he can better understand the merit of hard work and see how the common man lives. And Wyll does an exceptional job- he offers the best customer service and has the charisma to sell anyone anything. Of course, he is honorable enough that he'd never sell a customer an inferior or overpriced product. He knows the returning customers by name and they ask for him specifically. He's also a hit with the kids. Yet it's Astarion who keeps getting employee of the month- what is that about?? If anyone ever tries to rob the place, Wyll will likely be the one saving the day- if Lae'zel doesn't disembowel them first.

Gale is that coworkers who doesn't understand boundaries. He'll be venting to you about his ex gf and asking for advice about whether it's too soon to text her again while you're just trying to mop the floor. You'll be taking care of a huge line at the cash register and he decides that's the time to show you all the cat pictures on his phone. To be fair- his cat is really cute. He complains a lot about how he graduated from an elite school and did exceptionally well academically, yet he's stuck working this shitty job- damn this economy! He's eager to help customers, but has a habit of monologuing about all the trivia he happens to know about whatever they're buying. One time, you walked in on him gnawing on a pair of men's boots in the break room, and neither of you ever spoke of it again.

Shadowheart would be the most "normal" employee of the bunch- her customer service is adequate- courteous and professional, but with minimal small talk. "Yes, that'll be in aisle 3. Have a nice day." She often gets out of any stocking jobs she doesn't feel like doing by complaining that her hand hurts- it seems to only conveniently go off when you ask her to lift a few boxes. You try to make small talk with her in the break room, and it gets awkward because you just interrupted her before lunch prayers. And her during lunch prayers. And her after lunch prayers. Maybe take the hint already, and stop trying to get to know her.

Bonus: Withers is the store greeter. In the fall, sometimes people mistake him for a Halloween decoration...

[disordercinema]

To add to your retail AU-

Fred worked right next door to the store and was really close with Tubbo and Tubbo fell in love with him. The store ended up moving so now Tubbo sulks about it, especially when he sees Pac and Fit flirting. His background is also him and Fred.

Fred is the son of the store owner so he just moved with the building. Now instead of working next door, they work a couple of blocks from each other. Tubbo always acts like he moved continents.

Other members would come by and just talk for a while.

Bolas is just that one dnd group that hangs around after closing hours. Phil doesn’t do shit about it, he’ll actually join in with them every once in a while.

Bad would often yell at Tubbo for his mannerisms, like cursing while talking to a customer or back talking.

Pierre is the tech support that everyone calls if Tubbo doesn’t know how to fix it himself or makes it worse.

If someone is yelling at an employee and no one can calm them down and Phil is needed, he kills them with kindness. If someone yells at one of the kids though, he gets pissed.

The island is frequently visited. People will stay for a few months or less but most leave rather quickly. It’s small enough to where everyone knows everyone, but everyone knows the islanders as they’re own group.

The Islanders are one big family and are willing to do a lot for each other. If you argue cross one of them, you cross all of them.

The Federation is a government system and Cucurucho is the mayor

The eggs are the islanders children still. They came from an overcrowded orphanage so they took them in.

This is it! For now maybe- idk.

I like, I like, tho I don't follow all

I had imagined Bolas as like, the employees of the other store Philza owns across the city. All the employees are insanely terrible at their jobs but somehow always outperform the morning crew's store especially during holiday season and Tubbo absolutely hates them for it. He has a whole one sided rivalry with them and comes up with crazy plans to win against them while most of their stategy is just "Let's figure out a way to leave early".

I don't see a reason why the kids would be at the store, but I like Pierre being the tech support. I think Bad would be a former Karen turned regular after Philza won against him during a passive-aggressiveness-kindness-disguised contest. He starts going there out of pettiness, but actually becomes friendly with the employees over time and it is close to his job (daycare worker) so it's easy for him to buy stuff on the way home. Sometimes Tubbo convinces him to go terrorize Bolas when he finds out Bad has an errand across town and he does it for discounts.

I also like the idea of the Fred being from a nearby shop, maybe a flower shop?

The Federation would 100% the heads of the Retailers Association, always in contact with the government, observing and making sure the policies are being followed. Fit gets a spot in it for his strong presence in the union and all he does is cover up for all the things his store fails to comply on. Cellbit gets a place in it too, because he used to be a general manager at another big retail company, but he fucking hates it and wants to leave so he has been trying to get kicked out by leaking shit he shouldn't and it somehow doesn't work because no one figures out it was him.

I really like your ideas, this is just what my brain cooked since I made that post lmao

[what-gs-watching]

“Speaking of not being able to move. I too have had trouble moving. Lately. Past the poverty line.”

Maybe I’m predictable but I’m still settling into this new job and it’s hard to focus on other new things when everything during my day is new so the other night I decided to restart Superstore. 

Which is another one of my ‘this show deserves more love’ shows. Maybe one of the last sitcoms I picked up from NBC before I went full on feral for streaming services. It’s charming and stupid and I’m weirdly a sucker for the guy who plays Jonah.

Wherein, we follow the lives of associates of Cloud 9, a big box store, while they deal with working in retail and all of the absolute ridiculousness that goes along with that (COVID, included). 

Amy (America Ferrara, who is perfectly utilized here honestly) is a 30-something shift manager at the store with a daughter she had at 19 and a lazy husband. She’s obviously disillusioned with her monotonous life until Jonah (Ben Feldman, who I JUST realized I recognized from ‘Drop Dead Diva’ like whoooa) shows up, a dude who washed out of business school and is annoyingly pretentious but also adorably fun. Hijinks ensue. 

I really do love the entire supporting cast of this show. Dina is the psychotic assistant manager who owns a ton of birds, is brutally honest and kind of a bully but ends up being a really good friend. Cheyenne starts out as a ditzy pregnant teen mom but her storyline with her ridiculous wanna-be gangster boyfriend turned husband with a mustache is hilarious and weirdly endearing. And her friendship with Mateo (who is fussy, snarky, undocumented, and has a terrible romance with district manager, Jeff) is life goals. 

Y’all know I’m all about the relationships in shows, and I do enjoy the Amy/Jonah slowburn because, like, obvi any slowburn is always gonna get me, but the friendships are really just chef’s kiss. Garrett, the chill dude who does the in-store announcements, loves videos games and doesn’t generally give a fuck, ends up as Jonah’s reluctant best friend. Dina ends up finding the perfect frenemy in Sandra, who is everyone’s punching bag but also creepily FIERCE at times. I also love Cheyenne and Garrett - there’s an episode where the store has amnesty to admit roles they’ve broken and neither one of them have so they dig into the employee handbook to find one, but end up focusing on ‘no hats’ even though Garrett insists “we’re not hatting this!”

The dynamics are perfect. 

Basically, I feel this show deeply in my heart. I worked retail for years, it was my first job in high school and I worked at a Burlington Coat Factory entirely through college. The appeal of the show is that they’re a bunch of random ass people that bond over the fact that the store is terrible and minimum wage jobs are demeaning but they make it fun and I’ve totally lived that.

I had two work moms. And I met one of my absolute best friends there. We had adventures following shoplifters,  dancing at the registers singing made up songs, throwing parties for holidays, waking up too fucking early to work black friday shifts or doing inventory.  We bitched about unfair corporate policies and I saw a few of my friends have babies and have to scramble on how to support themselves. I saw all of the hidden talents my coworkers had and the dreams they wanted to achieve. We suffered through customers treating us like shit, and we lifted each other up. 

Working retail is a brutal undertaking but it can also be an oddly beautiful tapestry and that’s what I love about Superstore. 

I also appreciate that they talk about the real shit. There’s a walkout/strike after Glenn, the high-pitched, god-fearing, somewhat buffoon of a store manager gets fired for sneakily trying to give Cheyenne paid leave after she gives birth in the store. The associates band together eventually to try and unionize. There’s a bit about Amy asking for a raise, which results in the whole store sitting through a lecture on proper “budgeting” which includes a section about how “Uncle Sam has your food, now go get it!” At one point, there’s an ICE sweep in retaliation to unionization whispers. They follow Amy’s struggles in trying to climb the ladder and make something of herself. It’s real but also exaggerated, and sad and funny. 

It’s absolutely a snapshot in time and it lets me romanticize a period of my life that I spent desperately trying to escape. You know that dream people have about sitting for an exam in a class they didn’t know they were taking? I never have that dream. I have a dream where I show up to Burlington as I am now, a thirty-something with a ‘career’, and I know I haven’t worked there in years, but I’m panicked because I can’t figure out what my schedule is and everyone is annoyed I haven’t been coming in for my shifts. 

Working a job like that shapes you and stays with you. I managed to escape, I’m the asshole who just spent nine months on the couch pouting about my cushy job being taken away and doing nothing other than trying to force myself into another one, but maybe that’s okay because I lived that retail struggle for a good bit. I understand it, and I am never one of those asshole customers. 

All that to say, Superstore depicts that struggle flawlessly. And it makes me miss that unique camaraderie that you’ll never truly get working a tech job. It honestly cannot be duplicated. And if you’ve never experienced it for yourself, at least you can through the absolute ridiculousness that is the gang at Cloud 9.

[spacelazarwolf]

This is a genuine question, so sorry if it comes off awkward or if you've already answered this. You've mentioned before that a part of cultural Christianity is everyone getting time off for Christian holidays, but non-christians being denied time off for their own holidays. How would you go around fixing this? Should it be mandatory to give religious time off, should every religious holiday be a public holiday, should no religious holiday be a public holiday?

tbh this is one issue that always stumps me bc it's one of those things where like. the only way to really "fix" it is to do a factory reset on society, which obviously we can't do.

so if we're thinking what would be actually doable under the current system, i have a few ideas. i personally don't think every religious holiday should be a public holiday, bc that's a lot of holidays. i do think that it should be mandatory to grant time off for religious observances, and the terms of that time off should be informed by leaders in that community. not like specific to each employee, but like the people determining the legalities should be consulting with scholars and authority figures in these communities so you don't have situations like forcing jews to miss kol nidre because they only get 'one day' off for their religious holiday, when jewish holidays start and end at sundown. if you're giving employees paid time off to celebrate christmas, give religious minorities paid time off to celebrate their holidays. if it's something like retail where you could just change around their schedule so they don't have to work that day, just do that.

[pliablehead]

got tagged by @hellkitepriest wheeeee

Mood: not terrible but still a little Grinchy.. as a retail employee I am just getting so sick of christmas already lmao

Listening To: hilariously I feel like the last time I did one of these it was “i’m at work and chappell roan is playing” and by coincidence this is happening again right now LOL. i feel like we didn’t appreciate how hard the bassline fucks in After Midnight. also I queued Big Balloon for when this album is over hehehe #dutchunclesdecember

Reading: Nothing atm in the holiday crush but I just bought myself She’s Always Hungry (eliza clark) for when I have free time again owo

Watching: Umm no plans currently BUT looking forward to bfqoty and maybe some more dimension 20 when I’m back from xmas break

Playing: just finished Case of the Golden Idol and the DLCs and excited to get around to the sequel next!!

Eating: just scarfed a scoop of salted caramel toffee ice cream at work

Drinking: had a Bing energy juice on my lunch break and switching back to water wahey

umm this is nothing! cheers! but will tag @big-meows (fellow xmas retail soldier 🫡) and @showyoumyfavoriteobsession if y’all wanna

[zalrb]

Could u tell us about ur time in college? Where’d and what did u study. What did do while studying (work , parties). Did u go abroad? Do u think it was useful for ur career present day?

Yeah, I've spoken about it before. I even posted grad photos because I was graduating when I first got on tumblr lmao. So I always knew I was going to do something with writing or something with film so I curated my studies, I did English and Cinema Studies in undergrad plus a creative writing certificate at the school of continuing studies, which was in Toronto and then I did my MFA in New York. I did one summer semester in Italy in undergrad. In undergrad, I volunteered at the Toronto International Film Festival for three years and worked all four years, mostly retail, sometimes at amusement parks. In grad school, because I was an international student, getting a job was a little bit harder, I did one summer job on campus and then I interned at a literary agency where it was basically my job to read the slush pile, which was a really interesting experience. Because it was difficult to get a job in New York, I would come back home during holiday break and do seasonal work. But I was extremely, extremely broke during those years. Literally the best part of the summer job I had was that I worked for a summer program and employees got to eat lunch with the students so that was one less meal I had to worry about but we were all struggling because they also weren't paying us on time so my friend/colleague was nearly evicted from his apartment because he just did not have the money, I had to cuss everyone out to get our first two pay cheques, lmao.

Undergrad I didn't party that much because I was living at home, I had a strict mom, I also had to commute about two hours to get home, and I was working, and my friends also had very strict parents so like there wasn't really much of an opportunity for a busy social life, although Italy was like a crash course in undergrad partying because I went there the summer between first and second year while mostly everyone else was in third or fourth year so I was actually the youngest in the program and when I explained I'd never really gone to an undergrad party back in Toronto or had that much of a social life, it kind of became a collective goal for the other students to take me clubbing, take me drinking, and give me the sort of dorm experience. And then in third year for various reasons, I did more drinking and clubbing, it was also the year I had the heaviest course load so I think I just needed a lot of stress relief and I always tell people to never pack your schedule with courses, it's not worth it, haha.

My MFA was a loooooooooot of drinking but it was also just the culture of the writing program because, like, authors were teaching us, not profs, and authors do like to drink so we could literally be having classes in a bar or if an instructor didn't mark our stories because they had their own deadlines or their own issues, they would apologize by getting us a couple of rounds at the bar, sometimes we drank in class, haha, and then our program just had a lot of readings or a lot of parties so grad school was basically writing and drinking for two years. That was just fiction though. The nonfiction students and the poetry students had different experiences. Because I was New York, I got to see/meet a lot of different authors who would come through for lectures or book tours, I even got to introduce an author at one of her lectures, so that was also really cool.

[are-we-really-doing-this]

hey just saw your post about losing the piss anon message, im not sure if thats me but i do remember writing an experience i had involving piss. i was at my retail job in a small shop so i was the only employee at my shift, and i need to pee so badly but there's no one to cover for me and i end up pissing in a bag except the bag had holes at the bottom and etc etc. its such a long time ago i dont remember actually sending it though. well, idk. if i am that piss anon, you can always ask me to send the story again with full detail. if im not, consider this short piss story as a consolation prize. happy holidays and i wish all the perverts a great time.

Anon this means so much to me right now, thank you. I do not think it was you because I do not recognize the story. That sounds like it fucking sucked at the time though, I’m sorry about that. Can’t think of a time I ever pissed in a bag but I believe I have in a towel and a solo cup before. The piss anon I’m thinking of sent in a few public humiliation scenarios involving CM Punk and piss right around Brawl In and they were so beautiful and refreshing. Damn shame they’re all gone, I knew I should’ve saved them somewhere else. Guess I gotta come up with new ones myself. Happy Holidays to all my perverts out there. It’s a rough time of the year for some of us.

[rabbitcruiser]

Canadian Thanksgiving

Since 1957, Thanksgiving Day has been a holiday in Canada on the second Monday of October. Canadian Thanksgiving is a chance for people to give thanks for fortunes in the past year, including a good harvest. Below, we will explain what people do on Canadian Thanksgiving, as well as the ways that it differs from U.S. Thanksgiving. So, let’s find out more…

History Of Canadian Thanksgiving

Long before Canada celebrated thanksgiving, the native people of America held festivals and ceremonies to celebrate the completion and bounty of harvest way before European settlers and explorers arrived in what is known as Canada today. Early European thanksgivings took place in order to give thanks for some special fortune. One example of this is the ceremony that Martin Frobisher held in 1578. He held this ceremony after he survived an extensive journey in an aim to find a passage to Asia from Europe.

A lot of thanksgivings in the 18th century occurred after noteworthy events. The custom of a yearly thanksgiving festival was first brought to Canada as a result of refugees fleeing from the civil war in the United States. From 1879, Thanksgiving Day occurred each year, yet there were different themes and it was held on a different day every year. One of the most common themes for a lot of years was “Blessings of an abundant harvest.” Nevertheless, in later years King Edward VII’s coronation and Queen Victoria’s diamond and golden jubilees formed the theme in later years.

From the end of WW1 until 1930, both Thanksgiving Day and Armistice Day were celebrated on the Monday falling the closest to the 11th of November, which is the date that marked the official end of hostilities in WW1. Armistice Day was renamed Remembrance Day in 1931. Also, Thanksgiving was moved to a Monday in October. Since 1957, it has always occurred on the Second Monday of October.

Symbols Of Canadian Thanksgiving

Canadian Thanksgiving is associated with the European tradition of harvest festivals. At this time of year, a common image that people see is a horn – cornucopia – that is filled with seasonal vegetables and fruit. The cornucopia means ‘Horn of Plenty’ in Latin. In Ancient Greece, this was a symbol of plenty of bounty. Ears of corn, pumpkins, and turkeys, as well as large displays of food, are also used to symbolize Canadian Thanksgiving.

Is Canadian Thanksgiving A Public Holiday?

Yes; Canadian Thanksgiving is a public holiday in Canada. A lot of people have the day off work. All post offices and schools are also closed, as well as a lot of businesses and stores. There is also usually a reduced timetable in terms of public transport, with some services not running at all. Some areas have different rules and regulations. For example, in Nova Scotia, this day is deemed a retail closing day. This means that some retail companies are not allowed to open and employees have a legal right to refuse to work. In New Brunswick, this is deemed a day of rest. This means that businesses have to close on this day.

How to celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving

A lot of people will have the day off work on Canadian Thanksgiving. This gives them a three-day weekend, which they will typically use to have family and friends in their own homes or visit those who live far away. It is a tradition to prepare a special meal to be eaten at some point throughout the weekend. This will traditionally include a roast turkey, as well as seasonal produce, for example, pecan nuts, corn ears, and pumpkin.

A lot of people also decided to take a short autumn vacation during this period. This is because it can be the final opportunity in a while for people to use holiday homes or cottages before the winter season sets in. Other activities that are popular during this time include outdoor breaks so that the amazing colors of the autumn in Canada can be admired, fishing, and hiking. If you are a fan of the Canadian Football League, you may decide to spend the three-day break enjoying the Thanksgiving Day Classic matches.

Of course, no matter how you decide to spend Canadian Thanksgiving, the main thing to remember is that this is a day of thanks. Therefore, it is important to spend some time reflecting on what you are thankful for. Make sure you take the opportunity to thank people who have played an important role in your life or done something special for you. A small ‘thank you’ goes a very long way.

Differences Between U.S. And Canadian Thanksgiving

Of course, a lot of people will think about the U.S when they hear the word thanksgiving, and so you may be wondering if the two holidays are observed in the same way. There are actually some key differences between both of them. For example, in the U.S. Black Friday – a huge retail sales event – is typically coupled with Thanksgiving. However, the Canadian equivalent of this is Boxing Day, and this happens two months after Thanksgiving.

You will also notice that parades and football are smaller affairs in Canada. Similarly to the U.S., you can expect football marathons to occur on the day, giving families the opportunity to watch plenty of sport. Aside from this, the traditions are pared down a little bit.

It is also worth pointing out that Thanksgiving Day in the United States takes place in November, not October. There are a number of reasons why this is the case. One is because the Canadian Thanksgiving is more about thanks for the harvest season, as opposed to being about the arrival of pilgrims. Another one is that Remembrance Day on 11 November is a Canadian holiday. So there would be two holidays very close together.

Source

[thoughtvoid]

Now that my work schedule is drying up faster than a puddle in a desert, I have to say. Holiday retail is getting really weird now.

It might just be for the store I work for, because management is making some really weird decisions, but some part of it feels like the shoppers are just. Not doing things at the right time, too.

Like. My work has slashed hours to nothing, to the point that I wouldn't even say we have a skeleton crew 90% of the time. Unless we're a skeleton with a couple of missing limbs. But during holiday, we of course have seasonal workers. Possibly not as many as usual, but also enough to make things noticeably better for the months leading into the Big Sale time. And for the Big Sale time, we had all hands on deck on Friday and Sunday/Monday.

But, while we did have a lot of orders to deal with, the amount of people we had scheduled to work them were actually struggling to have a good consistent workload. There weren't enough orders to keep us all busy, and most of our work was from taking care of the orders made during the holiday when we were closed. But as far as dealing with what came in all day, it was just us juggling with taking whatever had come in during the past ten minutes. Orders started to build up a bit over the weekend, but nothing like what I've experienced in the past and came to expect. The 'peak' days were fine and manageable.

...The days after the Big Sale days were hell, though. Employees to process things slashed immediately back to one person per shift a day, two shifts total. The company advertised a pretty good coupon the day after the biggest online sale day of the year. One day use, so anyone interested would have to order that day. I wasn't originally scheduled for orders, we had freight coming in that I was scheduled to help with instead, but I wasn't at all surprised to get pulled off that to chip away at orders instead. We didn't get the numbers under control for a couple of weeks.

I blame most of the insane workload on our company. Us backroom people weren't given a single break, not one single day without a sale to let us catch up with the orders that the Sales left behind. And our hours for backroom were divvied out to other areas of the store. (Which, granted, the floor upkeep people are basically treated as so low of priority that most of the year we might have one person scheduled to keep up with the entire store. And during the holiday time, they might have been given a couple of extra people who were more expected to back up registers.)

However. The customers were also just making the most inane choices. There were so, so many orders coming in like crazy after the Big Sale days, up until a week before Christmas.

I get that the "Big Sales" are overhyped at this point and not always the real lowest price they ever get to. But I've been at this store long enough that the price they get to is pretty much the lowest things will be through the rest of the year. The sales can be lower, or the coupons higher, but they usually aren't as good or are only just as good as the Big Sale day price. During the year, the sales and coupons might match up to more savings, but during holiday season? Everything's getting roughly the same deals throughout the last month and a half. There's no real need to hold off during the days when stores are prepared for high workload. With all the cost cutting, the store only bolsters its workforce for those specific days. And immediately afterward, they leave all the workers to deal with the floods that came afterward, be it with pushing people to work harder, asking them to stay more hours, pulling people from other shifts, or ultimately calling in people who managed to get a day off.

When it's a one day 40% off one purchase, I get it. That's a company screwing us over problem, and they don't even tell us at the store level when they give those limited time deals. That's something we would prepare for, if the company gave a damn about us being prepared for it. But the one week 25% during subpar sales? I'm sorry, I will be calling everyone who ordered during that kind of sale stupid. There was no need to wait compared to the better sales and coupons earlier. There was no need to have the two people scheduled per day struggling to keep the order numbers under control. And the people ordering the week before Christmas to have things shipped to them? 1) I hope they weren't seriously ordering for Christmas, and were just ordering something for themselves because 2) I hope none of those packages got there in time. In previous years, the website used to have a countdown for when something ordered online would be guaranteed to arrive. They stopped doing that at some point, but the deadline used to be 14 or so days before Christmas. (And they may have stopped giving that countdown because they wanted people who don't plan things well to place more orders even if it might not arrive in time.) My patience is thin during holiday season, and I have no good vibes to send to people who didn't jump on the sales they should have and wait until functionally the last possible moment.

TLDR: Retail holiday season has gotten weird because the Sale days aren't a problem, but for various reasons, the time between those days up until Christmas were horrid.

[wholesaletotebag]

Top 5 Reasons to Buy Wholesale Tote Bags for Your Business

Tote bags have become an essential accessory for individuals and businesses alike, offering practicality, versatility, and eco-friendliness. For business owners, investing in wholesale tote bags can be a game-changer. Let’s explore the top five reasons why purchasing tote bags in bulk is a smart move for your enterprise.

1. Cost-Effectiveness for Bulk Purchases

When buying wholesale tote bags, the cost per unit decreases significantly compared to purchasing individual pieces. Bulk buying allows businesses to access volume discounts, enabling better allocation of resources. This cost-saving advantage is especially beneficial for startups and small businesses operating on tight budgets.

For example, promotional campaigns often require hundreds or even thousands of bags. By sourcing these items wholesale, businesses can allocate their savings to other critical areas such as marketing or product development. Moreover, wholesale suppliers often offer customization at reduced rates, making branding affordable and efficient.

2. Enhanced Brand Visibility

Tote bags serve as mobile advertisements for your business. Each time a customer carries your branded tote bag, they showcase your logo, slogan, or design to a wide audience. This consistent exposure can increase brand recognition and loyalty over time.

Additionally, customizing tote bags with your brand colors and messaging reinforces brand identity. Events like trade shows, conferences, or local markets provide perfect opportunities to distribute these bags and reach potential customers organically. Wholesale purchasing ensures you have enough inventory to maximize your reach.

3. Sustainability Appeal to Eco-Conscious Consumers

As environmental awareness grows, more consumers are drawn to brands that prioritize sustainability. Tote bags, typically made from reusable materials like canvas, jute, or recycled fabrics, align perfectly with eco-friendly practices. Offering branded reusable bags demonstrates your commitment to reducing plastic waste and preserving the environment.

This eco-conscious approach not only attracts a broader audience but also positions your business as socially responsible. By opting for wholesale eco-friendly tote bags, you send a powerful message to your customers while reducing your carbon footprint.

4. Versatility for Multiple Business Applications

Tote bags are incredibly versatile and cater to various business needs. Here are some ways businesses can utilize them effectively:

Promotional Giveaways: Tote bags are ideal for distributing during events, increasing customer engagement.

Retail Packaging: Many businesses use branded tote bags as packaging for their products, enhancing the unboxing experience.

Employee Merchandise: Tote bags can be part of employee welcome kits or as gifts during corporate events.

Seasonal Campaigns: Custom-themed tote bags for holidays or special events can boost seasonal sales.

Purchasing wholesale ensures you’re always prepared for these diverse applications without worrying about inventory shortages.

5. High Return on Investment (ROI)

Few promotional products provide as much value for money as tote bags. Their durability and usability mean customers are likely to use them repeatedly, prolonging their promotional impact. Unlike disposable promotional items, tote bags remain in circulation, delivering continuous advertising for your brand.

Investing in wholesale tote bags amplifies their ROI by lowering initial costs and increasing distribution potential. Whether used as giveaways, merchandise, or retail packaging, these bags continue to generate brand exposure long after their initial distribution.

Bonus Tip: Customization Trends to Maximize Impact

To stand out in a competitive market, leverage creative customization options. Consider:

Unique Designs: Incorporate eye-catching graphics or inspirational quotes.

Personalization: Offer customized tote bags featuring individual names or preferences.

Special Features: Add compartments, zippers, or eco-friendly certifications to enhance value.

Working with wholesale suppliers ensures you can experiment with different styles and designs without overspending.

In conclusion, investing in wholesale tote bags is a strategic move for businesses looking to maximize branding, save costs, and align with eco-conscious values. With their versatility and lasting appeal, tote bags are a timeless promotional tool that delivers tangible results.

[jonfarreporter]

Shopping Local Makes an Impact, notes CAMEO CEO, Carolina Martinez

With the countdown to December 25 now measured in hours, last minute shopping will no doubt be for the “procrastinators.”

Such procrastinators will just have to shop locally. And, if so, that will help local merchants immensely.

61 percent of business owners say that holiday revenue is key to the success of their business.

According to recent data by the National Retailers Federation and others, over 233 million Americans will do some shopping right up until just before Christmas.

“Spending money at local, small businesses circulates two to four times more in the local economy than it does at those ‘big box’ stores,” said, Carolina Martinez, CEO of CAMEO Network.

CAMEO is California’s statewide micro-business network and a leading voice for businesses with one to five employees.

Martinez has been CAMEO’s CEO since October of this past year. She took a few minutes to speak about the impact consumers have on local economies.

“The holiday season is a ‘make or break’ moment for many small businesses,” added Martinez.

According to Statitica as well as other researchers, 71 percent of holiday gift buying occurs online. This leaves local merchants at a disadvantage.

Regardless of it being a small or large purchase shopping local still makes an impact on the local economy.

Having events in town is vital for local businesses “so any activities that encourage people to shop small business are good for the economy,” noted Martinez.

Holiday shopping events like a ‘holiday market’ are always great for the community,” exclaimed Martinez.

Mentioning destination spots like Northern California’s wine country, Martinez said.

“Putting together fun events like ‘shop, sip & savor’ helps bring more traffic to local stores and encourages people to shop small.”

“It’s a win-win for the community and businesses,” she added.

The local chamber of commerce as well as other local organizations can help.

“I highly recommend that communities and businesses consider the help of available resources like nonprofits.”

“Nonprofits (like the CAMEO Network) can offer free or low-cost coaching to help small business owners improve their marketing and help get more traffic in the door,” Martinez said.

Recognizing the sense of empowerment as well as a sense of community, Martinez said. “I think it’s very important for everyone to educate their friends, family and neighbors about how important it is to shop small business.” The impact can make a difference.

Emphasizing the ‘ripple effects,’ Martinez said. “There are so many benefits!” “For instance, shopping locally can also cut down on environmental waste associated with plastic packaging and shipping.”

Seeing shopping locally as a way to socialize, Martinez said.

“Another idea that I’ve personally done and have had a good time doing is the opportunity of a ‘private shopping party;’ a small boutique that I know offered me and friends of mine the opportunity to close the shop to the public.”

It made for a unique and one-of-kind experience not only for Martinez and her friends but also for the boutique owner and the staff.

Martinez also said. “Spending time in the local community helps other businesses besides shops. It helps restaurants.”

Coincidentally, (in the wine country) restaurants, like the newly opened Mozaik at Sonoma’s historic downtown plaza, the owner and staff offers gift certificates.

A gift certificate for night out at a local restaurant might be the best gift for that ‘difficult-to-buy-for’ person on the Christmas list.

As Martinez points out and hopes people will remember even as this year’s holiday shopping concludes; “For every dollar spent at a small business 0.68 cents stays in the local business community.”

“Small businesses are the heart of our communities, Martinez reiterated, and when you shop local, you’re investing in the strength of those local communities.”

To learn more about the CAMEO Network and how it can help local businesses visit the website.

[hypelens]

"Last-Minute Lifesavers: Grocery Stores and Shops Open on Christmas Day 2024"

During the holiday season, many grocery stores adjust their operating hours, with most closing on Christmas Day to allow employees to spend time with their families. However, for those in need of last-minute essentials on December 25, several options remain available.

Grocery Stores Open on Christmas Day:

7-Eleven: Many 7-Eleven convenience stores remain open 24/7, including Christmas Day. It's advisable to check with your local store for specific hours.

Albertsons: Some Albertsons locations may operate on Christmas Day with reduced hours. Confirm with your local store for exact times.

Casey's General Store: Select locations may be open; verify hours with your nearest store.

Safeway: Certain Safeway stores may open with limited hours; check locally for details.

Pharmacies and Convenience Stores:

CVS: Many CVS locations, particularly those with 24-hour service, will be open on Christmas Day. Pharmacy hours may vary.

Walgreens: Most Walgreens stores, especially 24-hour locations, will remain open. Pharmacy services may have limited hours.

Coffee Shops:

Starbucks: Some Starbucks locations will be open on Christmas Day, though hours may vary. It's best to check with your local store.

read more in google news 

Stores Closed on Christmas Day:

Major retailers and grocery chains such as Walmart, Costco, Target, Aldi, Trader Joe's, and Whole Foods will be closed on December 25. These closures are standard practice to allow staff to observe the holiday.

read more in google news 

Tips for Last-Minute Shoppers:

Plan Ahead: Given the limited options, it's wise to purchase necessary items before Christmas

 Day.

Verify Store Hours: Always confirm holiday hours with your local store, as they can vary by location.

Consider Alternatives: Gas stations and convenience stores often remain open and can provide basic necessities.

While the majority of grocery stores close on Christmas Day, pharmacies, convenience stores, and some grocery chains offer limited hours to accommodate last-minute needs. Always verify with your local store to ensure availability.