#holding onto the one thing you can keep. holding onto the one thing that's familiar.

[catscidr]

// so, if the harbingers are ranked by strength... //

i. note — omg heyyyy guysss tucks hair behind ear. haven't seen this format in a while huh :3 wonder why that is :3 oopsieee :3 i would apologize for not posting anything of substance but i do that every time i post something anyways so i won't do it this time. enjoy my brainworms ii. includes — dottore x gn!reader iii. cw — crack, slightly suggestive at times, established relationship, lowercase is intended. catscidr being unserious as per usual. not proofread im thinking with my dick iv. wc — 1,2k -> ao3 link!

from the very beginning of your relationship with him, you perceived dottore as knew dottore was way more of a recluse than the average man. 

(not that he can even be compared to the average man anyways, but... regardless.) 

your perception of him has always been of a wise, intelligent man (you would describe him as nerdy to get under his skin). you have an easy time picturing him hunched over an ornate desk while jotting down lab reports, or even imagining him elbow-deep into a carcass to study its organs—all things you doubt an extroverted, energetic person would willingly put themselves through day after day. 

which is why you never batted an eye when you would wake up to a cold bed in the morning. you didn’t question him when he would tell you that he just has to get to work early, because you already had an inkling that you knew why he decided to leave the comfort of your shared bed at such ungodly hours. 

going to his lab before dawn breaks would allow him to be alone and to enjoy some peace and quiet before his underlings and segments turn the comfortable silence in his office to a muffled cacophony of arguments. surely, being as driven as he is, he would sacrifice a few hours of sleep (and comfort beside you) to further the myriad of projects he has to keep on the backburner. 

the walk to his office is quiet; save for the occasional chill passing through the halls, you find a sense of comfort in being within your beloved’s personal quarters—as if you’re enveloped in a big, warm hug by yours truly. you’ve visited his laboratory enough times to know your way around, so instead of feeling like a lost deer faced by bright headlights, you stroll on through the familiar halls with a pep in your step. 

the lack of personnel makes your already short trek even shorter, seeing as you don’t have to halt for small talk, and you’re promptly met by sight of the large, ornate oak door separating dottore’s office to his lab. 

you forego knocking—you’re supposed to catch him hard at work, come up from behind and engulf him in a loving hug and pepper him with kisses—knocking would reveal the surprise! 

and so, you carefully hold onto the flat doorknob, turning it until it’s vertical, and step into his office. 

you’ve always pictured him as the nerdy loser-esque type outside of that intimidating harbinger facade—what you never in a million years would have imagined was the sight of il dottore himself on a Stairmaster machine, a stapled document in hand, while practically sweating the entirety of his water weight away. 

naturally, you’ve seen him bare before; though all previous moments of intimacy had been limited to the two of you either beneath your bedsheets and/or your bodies being just barely visible due to the lack of sunlight shining through your bedroom window. he wasn’t one to show off his body, and you never questioned that boundary. 

but, while you stood there in shock unable to think of anything, a little voice in your head was appalled that he had the gall to hide this from you especially after you’ve inquired about the meaning behind his and his coworkers’ rankings before. 

(“hey 'ttoreeeee,” you drawl, stirring the small decorative spoon in your coffee. a quiet, drawn-out sigh graces your ears before his voice does, “what?” 

“how are you second?” you ask somewhat vaguely, choosing to take a bite out of your muffin before elaborating further. “i mean, you’re a pretty normal guy compared to the other high-ranking harbingers. capitano looks like he came straight from the medieval times, and columbina looks like a fucked-up interpretation of a seraphim that came to life.” 

a scoff—one of amusement you’re sure—breaches his lips. “i left all of my unique features to my segments,” he hums. dottore leisurely sips his drink, a twinkle of humor lighting up his scarlet irises. “but either way, it would be quite shallow of the tsaritsa if she appointed our ranks based on physical appearance. we’re all ranked by strength, essentially.” 

you hum, thrown deep in thought. capitano makes sense since he’s built like a brick wall, and columbina is an entire enigma in it of itself. since there’s no way they’re only based on influence and intellect, that means... 

“could you, hypothetically, drop down and do fifty push-ups without breaking a sweat?”  

the man sitting across from you laughs, the reaction filling you with anticipation. but much to your dismay, dottore didn’t take the opportunity to honor his ranking. instead, he just took another dip of his drink and answered with a casual; 

“perhaps.”) 

and by the tsaritsa he could have given you fifty and then some. 

though you knew your way around, you had never truly explored his personal office. he had shown you the main laboratory area where a plethora of ruin guard parts threaten to trip you over at all times, a handful of dissection rooms, and his segments’ working quarters. they were the most popular parts of haeresys and you had no business waltzing around unsupervised anyways, so he didn’t think you would find much interest within his own personal gym. 

the room itself was huge; if you hadn’t known otherwise, you would have absolutely thought this was some sort of luxury fitness center. there’s only one of each machine (which makes sense given you highly doubt dottore would let anyone else in the gym with him), but that didn't make the place any less furnished. 

there’s your standard dumbbell and kettlebell rack alongside a bench with multiple heavy plates nearby, a treadmill, a lat pull down machine, a leg press machine and so much more. there’s even some stuff you’ve never even seen before— 

“what are you doing here?” 

his voice abruptly pulls you out of your state of shock, forcing you to look at him and oh my god you can see the outlines of his muscles through his shirt. 

you swallow before speaking, knowing your voice would crack; to no avail. “i, uh, i just. w-well...” you murmur sheepishly, brain absolutely fried from whatever this was. 

pausing his set and putting down whatever work-related document he was reading, dottore turns his full attention to you. “i’m a little busy over here, dear,” he sighs. “i only have...” ruby irises glance over at the wall, catching sight of the clock reading the time, “...an hour and fourteen minutes before i need to head to a meeting. are you going to spit it out or will i have to reboot your brain for you?” 

oh so now he’s sassing you. 

“well excuse ME, I’M not the one hiding an olympian physique from my partner!” you complain, feeling a mix of embarrassment, frustration and very strong attraction. yes, you had felt his body up before, but feeling and seeing are two completely different things...! 

“well, are you mad about it?” 

“...” 

you pick up your jaw before you start drooling and take the time to let your eyes roll over his body. his biceps were defined, forearms looked delicious, pecs looked squishy, quads looked utterly biteable... not only did he look good objectively, but seeing him in casual clothes—a simple tee shirt and loose pants—made you feel a certain type of way... 

“...can you drop down and give me a hundred push-ups and also say my name between each one?” 

[lvnleah]

Roo on camp request

- roo is really nervous about the neew environment and has trouble settling when it comes to things like bed time or food because she’s quite overwhelmed.

She initially only wants to be with Beth and sometimes Leah or Lessi because she’s familiar with them but goes shy when the other England girls are around, maybe Sarina finds her special little jobs to do to help her while the girls are training and then one arvo she sees Hempo doing LEGO in the lounge area and joins in and loves it.

Thinking maybe also you could write a second part where Eng trained at Arsenal recently with the videos of the girls and Winnie. Maybe Roo tries to show everyone around because she knows where she is and Sarina told her that it’s her job to be the expert on the grounds but really Roo just spends time bringing Win into team meetings and getting chocolate biscuits from the chef that she knows well

Roo’s first england game.

find part one here!

Grace’s voice rang through the air as she playfully chased you around. “I’m gonna catch you, Roo!” she called out, her footsteps quick and light as she tried to catch up with your giggles.

You squealed and darted to the side, your little feet tapping against the floor as you tried to escape her grasp. “No! You can’t catch me!” you shouted, laughing loudly, your Twix plush clutched firmly under your arm.

“Roo, be careful, munchkin,” Beth said, her voice gentle but firm. “You’re gonna fall over if you keep running like that!”

But it was clear you weren’t paying much attention. You were too caught up in the excitement of the game. Grace stopped just as you darted in the other direction, blocking your escape route. 

“Gotcha!” she laughed, scooping you up and twirling you around. “You’re too fast for me, but I’m gonna get you next time!”

You giggled, your hands still holding tightly onto Twix. “Nooo! I’m faster!” you declared proudly as you ran over to Beth, “Mummy, te-tell Grace I’m faster!” You said, stumbling over your words as you caught your breath. 

Beth chuckled, “I think you might be faster,” she said with a wink, brushing a few strands of hair out of your face. “Maybe Grace will catch you next time.”

Grace grinned, “Uh-oh, looks like I’ve got some competition! I’ll have to try extra hard to catch you now, Roo!”

You beamed up at Beth, satisfied with her answer. “See? I am faster!” You threw your arms around Beth’s neck, pressing your cheek against her shoulder as she lifted you up into her arms. “I’m the fastest!”

Beth smiled as she adjusted you in her arms. “You’re quick, Roo. Now, let’s get ready for the trip. We’ve got a coach ride ahead, remember?”

You nodded, though your energy was still high from the excitement. It was the day before match day and the lionesses were travelling three hours down to London. Tomorrow they played the Netherlands, you had no idea who you were going to support but you were looking forward to seeing your Mamma. 

You’d been on camp now with Beth for three days and things were slowly getting better. Last night was the first night that you slept and ate properly, putting Beth’s mind at ease a little as you began to settle in more. 

You and Beth boarded the coach, Grace followed along as the group made their way to the coach. Everyone was getting settled in, and you quickly found a seat at the round table at the back, clutching Twix tightly in your lap. 

Grace sat down beside you, looking over at you with a grin. “So, how fast do you think I am?” she asked with a teasing glint in her eye.

You leaned closer to her, whispering, “Faster than Mummy!” and giggled when Grace laughed.

Beth looked over with a smile as she slid into the round bit across from you. “You two are Monkey’s,” she said fondly. “Let’s see if Grace can keep up with entertaining you on the coach huh?”

Grace plopped down across from you, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “It’s alright, Beffy. I’ll keep Roo entertained. We’re gonna be best friends by the time we get there, eh Roo?”

“Nooo!” You whined, “Buddy’s my bestie!”

Grace chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “Oh, is she now? Well, I guess I’ll just have to work extra hard to win you over, huh?”

You shook your head, holding Twix tighter. “Buddy’s my bestie! You’re third.” 

“Third?! Who’s second?”

“Monkey of course!” You giggled. 

Beth laughed from across the aisle, shaking her head at the banter between you and Grace. “Looks like you’ve got some competition, Grace. But don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll win Roo over eventually.”

Grace winked at you, leaning closer. “I’ll try my best. Maybe I'll help you colour eh?”

“Yeah!” You nodded, “We colour a unicorn together!” 

While everyone began to load onto the coach, you set out your colouring on the table and spread out all of your crayons. Everyone was scattered all over the coach but Mary, Millie, Alessia and Ella joined you, Beth and Grace at the back. It took a little bit of time for you to warm up to the all but eventually you did. 

“Mummy?” You whined, now sitting next to Beth as you looked up at her, “How much longer till I can get off?”

As the coach made its way to London, the fun of colouring began to wear off. You sighed dramatically, setting your crayon down and slumping against Beth’s arm. 

“Mummy, I’m boreddd,” you whined, drawing the word out as if the world were ending.

Beth chuckled, “Well we’ve still got an hour to go, Roo. What do you want to do now?”

You huffed, crossing your arms. “I wanna get off! Why’s London so far?”

Ella leaned over, “It’s not that far, Rory. It just feels long because you’re too excited to sit still!”

“Let’s see if we can make the time go faster. How about we play a game, huh Roo?” Mary suggested. 

Your eyes lit up at that. “What game?”

“Hmm…” Mary tapped her chin dramatically. “How about… ‘I Spy’?”

You nodded eagerly, sitting up straight. “Yes! I spy!”

Millie grinned, leaning back in her seat. “Alright then, Rory. You start.”

You looked around the coach, your eyes narrowing in concentration. Finally, you said, “I spy with my little eye… something blue!”

“Blue, huh?” Alessia said, looking around exaggeratedly. “Is it… the sky!”

“Nooo,” you said with a giggle, shaking your head.

“Is it Mummy’s jacket?” Grace guessed, pointing at Beth’s hoodie.

You shook your head again, grinning. “Nope!”

Beth raised an eyebrow. “Is it Twix’s blanket?”

“Yesss!” you said, holding up Twix and the small blue blanket tucked under his arm.

“Good one, Roo,” Mary said with a laugh. “Alright, my turn. I spy with my little eye… something green.”

The game continued for a while but soon your energy from earlier had completely fizzled out. You were slumped against Beth, your arms crossed tightly over Twix, and a deep pout on your face.

“Mummy,” you whined, your voice low and grumpy, “it’s taking too long. M’tired.”

Beth glanced down at you, smoothing a hand over your hair. “I know, munchkin. But we’ve only got an hour left. Why don’t you close your eyes for a bit? It’ll feel faster if you have a nap.”

You shook your head stubbornly, clutching Twix tighter. “No! I’m m’tired anymore!”

Alessia, sitting across from you, raised an amused eyebrow. “Are you sure about that, Roo? You look a little sleepy to me.”

“I’m not!” you insisted, your voice growing louder as your pout deepened.

Beth sighed softly, glaring at Grace, who was trying to stifle a laugh. “Alright, no nap,” Beth said gently, leaning closer to you. “But maybe you can lie down for a little bit? You don’t have to sleep, just rest.”

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously, as though this was some elaborate trick. “I’m not gon’ sleep,” you muttered, shifting to lay your head on Beth’s lap.

“Of course not,” Beth said with a small smile, stroking your hair soothingly. “You can just rest, Roo. That’s all.”

But even lying down didn’t stop your frustration. After a few moments of silence, you sat up again, crossing your arms. “I’m bored, Mummy. I wanna get off!”

Beth took a deep breath, her patience unwavering. “I know, sweetheart, but we can’t get off until we’re in London. Why don’t we look out the window and see if we can spot something fun?”

“No!” you huffed, burying your face against Twix. “I don’t wanna!”

Millie, sitting nearby, leaned over with a playful grin. “Sounds like someone’s a little cranky.”

“I’m not cranky!” you snapped, glaring at her.

The team around you chuckled, and Mary leaned over from her seat. “You’re not cranky, Roo. You’re just… a tiny bit grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy either!” you shot back, your cheeks flushing with frustration. You sighed dramatically, still clinging to Twix like she was your lifeline. “I just wanna see Mamma,” you muttered, your voice quieter now.

Beth kissed the top of your head, wrapping her arm around you. “I know you do, munchkin. And you will, really soon. How about we read a story together? I think I saw your favourite book in your bag.”

You hesitated for a moment, still grumpy but tempted by the idea. “Okay,” you mumbled, snuggling closer to Beth as she reached for the bag.

As she started to read, your grumpy mood began to fade bit by bit, your eyelids growing heavier despite your best efforts to stay awake. By the time Beth reached the second page, your breathing had slowed, and Twix was loosely clutched in your arms as you finally drifted off to sleep.

Beth exchanged a small, victorious smile with everyone, brushing your hair back. “Told you she was tired,” she whispered.

The coach finally pulled into the hotel around 4 p.m., and you were still a bit groggy from your nap on Beth’s lap. Beth gently woke you, brushing a few strands of hair from your face.

“We’re here, Roo,” she said softly, kissing your forehead.

You rubbed your eyes, clutching Twix tightly as you shuffled off the coach with Beth’s hand in yours. “Mummy, where’s Mamma?” you asked, looking around the bustling hotel lobby.

“She’s on her way, Roo,” Beth assured you with a smile, ruffling your hair. “Let’s go find our room first, yeah?”

Before you could protest, you spotted Viv walking through the entrance, her suitcase trailing behind her.

“Mamma!” you squealed, letting go of Beth’s hand and darting toward Viv.

Viv’s face lit up, and she crouched down just in time to catch you in a tight hug. “Hi, mijn meisje,” she said, her voice soft and full of warmth. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, Mamma!” you said, wrapping your arms tightly around her neck.

Beth strolled over, grinning. “You’d think I’d kept her locked away for weeks, the way she’s running to you!”

Viv gave Beth a playful smile as she gave her a quick hug. “Have you been good for Mummy?”

You nodded enthusiastically. “I’ve been the fastest! I beat Grace at running!”

Beth laughed. “That’s true. She’s been a little rocket.”

The three of you made your way to the hotel restaurant for dinner. You sat between Beth and Viv, happily munching on your food while they caught up. Viv asked you about camp, the coach ride, and even what you’d been colouring earlier.

After dinner, you all headed back to Beth and your room. Viv sat cross-legged on the floor with you, helping you line up your crayons and sketch a new picture of a unicorn.

After a while, you yawned, and Viv noticed immediately. “Time for bed, liefje,” she said softly.

“Nooo,” you whined, clutching Twix. “I’m not tired.”

Beth chuckled. “You sure about that, Roo?”

Reluctantly, you let Viv guide you to bed. Her and Beth bathed you before helping you change into your pyjamas. Viv tucked you in carefully, making sure Twix was snug in your arms. Then she sat beside you, pulling out a storybook you’d brought along.

As she read, her voice calm and soothing, you felt your eyes grow heavy. “Mamma?” you murmured sleepily.

“Yes, mijn liefje?”

“You be there tomorrow?”

Viv smiled, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Of course. I’ll be with my team.”

Satisfied, you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Once you were soundly asleep, Viv joined Beth on the other bed, where they sat and talked quietly about tomorrow’s match, your antics on the coach, and how much you were growing.

“She’s got so much energy,” Viv said with a small laugh, but there was a hint of worry in her voice. “I just hope she’s not too overwhelmed tomorrow.”

Beth cuddled into her. “She’ll be fine. You worry too much, Viv. She’s tougher than you think.”

Viv smiled softly. “I know. I just want her to be happy.”

“She is,” Beth said confidently. “You should’ve seen her when she spotted you earlier. That kid’s got nothing but love for you.”

Viv stayed a little longer before reluctantly getting up. She kissed Beth on the cheek and gave you one last glance before heading back to her own hotel for the night.

The morning of the match arrived, and despite the cold December air, you were already bouncing with excitement. You couldn’t wait to see Viv and Beth play, but what you were really looking forward to was wearing your mini England kit that you’d gotten a few months ago. 

Beth had been trying to convince you all morning to wear something warmer, but you weren’t having it. You proudly held up your England kit, complete with ‘Mead’ on the back, and beamed up at Beth.

“Mummy, I’m wearing this! I’m supporting you!” you declared, pulling the kit over your head before Beth could say anything else.

Beth, trying to suppress a smile, knelt down in front of you and gently tugged at the collar of your shirt. “Roo, munchkin, don’t you think we should put on something a little warmer? It’s freezing out there today!”

You shook your head stubbornly, “I wanna wear my kit! Then I’m like you!”

Beth chuckled softly, brushing a lock of hair from your face. “You’re already the fastest, Roo. But how about a jumper over your kit? It’ll keep you warm.”

You shook your head again, your face scrunched up in defiance. “No! I want to wear this like you!”

After a bit more playful back-and-forth, Beth finally got you to give in and helped you get your coat on, despite your protests. The jumper idea was still off the table, but you agreed to wear a big, fluffy scarf to keep you warm and a long-sleeved top under your shirt. You reluctantly allowed Beth to zip up your jacket, still grumbling about how you wanted to wear your kit without all the extra layers.

“You’re going to freeze, you know,” Beth teased, “Look at me, all bundled up in my nice, warm jacket. You’re going to be freezing by the time we get to Wembley.”

As soon as you stepped off the coach, the crisp December air hit your face, making you pull your scarf up a little higher. You were already buzzing with excitement for the match, but something else had your attention—Wembley. It was so big, so full of energy, and you couldn’t wait to be inside.

Beth held your hand tightly, guiding you through the hallways. Just as you passed the changing away rooms you then saw Viv. She was standing with Jill and Vic, talking and laughing near one of the entrances.

Without thinking, your little legs went into full sprint mode. Your coat flinging around as you ran, “Mamma!”

Viv, Jill, and Vic turned toward you just as you reached them. Viv’s eyes widened, a soft laugh escaping her. “Roo!” she exclaimed, bending down to scoop you up in her arms. “What’s this I see?” She asked, pointing at your England shirt.  

You grinned proudly, “I’m wearing my England shirt, but I cheer for you both! Mummy says I need my coat and scarf though.”

Viv smiled, holding you tightly. “It’s freezing out there. You don’t want to catch a cold, do you?” she teased gently, adjusting the scarf around your neck.

Jill and Vic laughed, and Jill raised an eyebrow. “Seems like you’ve got some competition now, huh?” she said with a grin.

You nodded seriously, holding your ground. “Mummy plays for England, and you play for the Netherlands, but I still cheer for you, Mamma!” 

Viv chuckled, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of your face. “I’m honoured, Roo,” she said, kissing the top of your head. “Are you cheering extra loud then?”

“Yep!” you said, giving Viv a big hug. “I’ll be loud, Mamma!” You giggled, “I cheer for you both!” you insisted.

Before you could respond, you felt a familiar hand tickle your shoulder. Looking up, you saw Beth’s dad, Rich, smiling down at you.

“Grandad!”

“Alright, kiddo,” he said warmly. “Time to take you up to the seats, yeah? You’ve got the best view of the pitch!”

Viv smiled at you, kissing your forehead before handing you off to Rich. “Behave yourself, Roo. We’ll see you up there later on, okay?”

You nodded enthusiastically, holding on to Rich’s hand as he led you through the hallways so you could quickly say bye to Beth before heading upstairs.

Once you reached the private box, you saw all the familiar faces. As you carefully made your way down the steps to your seats, you heard a little squeal and someone calling your name. 

“Roo!” You heard Buddy shout from Leah’s lap as you came down the stairs. 

Buddy twisted and scrambled to slide down off of Leah’s lap. Leah tried to stop her but Buddy was quick, too quick, and managed to slip off Leah’s lap. She took off toward you, her tiny legs moving so fast that it’s more of a waddle run.

Leah groaned in mock defeat. “Buddy, wait! Come back here!”

“Roo! You here!” she announced proudly like she was the one who invited you to the match.

Buddy reached you in record time, throwing her arms around you in a tight hug. “Roo here! Monks, Roo here!” she chanted happily as she looked over to Monkey. 

You laughed, wrapping your little arms around her. “Buddy!”

Leah caught up a moment later, hands on her hips as she gave Buddy a mock stern look. “You’re too quick for me, aren’t you?” she said, “What did I say about running off? Just like your big sister, you are!”

Buddy pouted dramatically, “But Roo here…” she said, like it was the best excuse in the world as she pointed at you. 

Leah sighed, shaking her head with a small smile. “Alright, alright. But you need to stay close, okay? Double trouble you both are.”

Buddy giggled, “I sit with Roo!” she declared.

You grinned and nodded. “Yeah! Buddy can sit with me!”

You and Buddy made your way down to your seats hand in hand, There were two seats between Rich and Leah with Monkey sitting on the other side of Leah. 

Buddy nodded enthusiastically as she sat down in her seat. “Cheer! Me and Roo cheer!”

Leah chuckled. “You two are gonna be loudest in the whole crowd, aren’t you?”

You and Buddy both nodded, giggling as you pointed toward the pitch. The players were warming up now, and you spotted Beth and Viv right away.

“There’s Mummy and Mamma!” you exclaimed, bouncing a little with excitement as you looked over to Rich. 

Buddy looked over to Leah. “Mummy play?”

Leah smiled softly. “Not today, Bubba. Mummy’s just here to watch like you.”

Buddy looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding seriously. “Okay. We cheer for Auntie Beffy!”

The warmups were soon over and the game started before you knew it. Beth and Viv both started on the bench much to your disliking. Your grumpiness only went up when England was down 2-0 in the 35’ minute however it soon went away once Beth was brought on in the 46’ minute just before halftime. 

“Grandad!” You said, tugging on Rich’s arm, “Grandad, look! Mummy’s comin’ on!”

Rich grinned down at you, “I see her, Roo! Make sure you wave at your Mummy.”

You stood on your tiptoes, peering over the edge of the box to get a better look at Beth on the pitch. 

Buddy, who was bouncing in her seat beside you, copied your movements. “Auntie Beffy kickball now?” she asked Leah, her eyes wide with excitement.

Leah nodded, smiling softly. “Yep, Bubba. Let’s see what she can do.”

The second half started with a renewed energy from England. Just a few minutes in, Georgia Stanway scored after Lauren James kicked the ball. As the ball soared into the net, the stadium erupted, and you and Buddy jumped to your feet, cheering as loud as you could.

“Goal! Goal!” you shouted, your voice almost drowned out by the roar of the crowd.

Buddy clapped her hands and squealed. “England score! Roo, England score!”

Rich laughed, ruffling your hair. “Told you, Roo. England’s not done yet.”

Before you could even settle back into your seat, Lauren Hemp scored in the 61st minute, bringing England level. You and Buddy went wild again, the two of you shouting and clapping so much that Leah had to remind you to sit down before you toppled over.

“Two! Two!” Buddy exclaimed, holding up her fingers to show the score. “They win now?”

“Not yet,” Leah said with a chuckle, pulling Buddy onto her lap. “But they’re doing really well. Let’s keep cheering, yeah?”

You nodded eagerly. “Mummy will win! They have to!”

The match continued, and with every near miss or tackle, you and Buddy were on the edge of your seats. When the fourth official signalled for added time, you tugged on Rich’s sleeve again. “How much time, Grandad? They need to win!”

“Just a few minutes, Roo. Let’s see if they can do it.”

As the clock ticked into the first minute of stoppage time, Ella Toone received a perfect pass from Lauren James. You could barely sit still as she took the shot, the ball flying past the goalkeeper and into the net.

“Yes!” you screamed, jumping up and down. “They winning now!”

Buddy was just as loud, “England win! Auntie Beffy best!”

Leah laughed, pulling Buddy back down into her seat. “Alright, alright, settle down, you two. The game’s not even over yet.”

But it didn’t matter to you and Buddy. You were both too excited. When the final whistle blew, confirming England’s 3-2 victory, you turned to Rich with the biggest grin on your face.

“Mummy won! Grandad, Mummy won!” you said, throwing your arms around him.

Rich chuckled, “That’s right, Roo. Your Mummy did an amazing job.”

You beamed, already bouncing with anticipation. “Can we go see Mummy and Mamma now?”

“Let's give them a bit of time, yeah?” Rich said as you slipped off of his lap, “How about I get you some food? You’re bound to be hungry! Then we can take it down to Mummy and Mamma.”

You nodded eagerly, food always sounded like a good idea after all the excitement. “Okay! But quick, Grandad! I wanna see Mummy and Mamma soon!”

Rich chuckled, getting up and taking your hand “What do you fancy, Roo? Hot dog? Chips?”

“Chips!” you said enthusiastically. “And ketchup!”

Once you had your chips in hand, Rich led you back toward the players’ area. You could barely contain your excitement as you approached the tunnel, the smell of ketchup on your chips almost forgotten in your hurry to see Beth and Viv.

When the security guard finally let you through, you spotted Beth first. She was talking to Viv in the tunnel, a big smile on her face as they stood near the bench. The moment Beth saw you, her face lit up.

“There’s my girl!” Beth called out, opening her arms just in time for you to run straight into them.

“Mummy!” you shouted, wrapping your arms tightly around her neck. “You won!”

Beth laughed, squeezing you close before pulling back to kiss your cheek. “I did, Roo! Did you like the game?”

You nodded enthusiastically. “It was the best! I cheered so loud with Buddy!”

Viv looked at you as she ruffled your hair. “I’m starting to think I’ve lost you to England, Roo!”

You blinked up at her, frowning in confusion. “Lost me? I’m right here, Mamma!”

Beth chuckled, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I think she means your football allegiance, Roo.”

Viv nodded, “Exactly. Look at you, cheering your little heart out for England. What about the Netherlands, hmm? I’ll eventually make you a Netherlands supporter—you’ll see.”

You gasped dramatically, “No way, Mamma! I’m England forever!”

“Forever, huh?” Viv teased, arching an eyebrow. “And what about me? Your Mamma?”

Beth smirked, clearly enjoying Viv’s playful frustration. “Looks like you’re outnumbered, love.”

“Guess I’ve got to start a project to get you to be a Netherlands supporter, huh?” Viv chuckled, tickling your side. 

“Mmm, not sure about that one!” Beth laughed, “Roo seems pretty determined to be an England fan! Maybe you’ll get one of our future kids to be a Netherlands supporter, eh?”

“I’m England, Mamma!” You giggled, wrapping your arms around Viv’s legs, “But I still love you! An’ I’ll cheer for you when you don’t play England!”

“Alright, I suppose I can live with that,” she said, bending down to scoop you up into her arms. “As long as you promise to cheer really, really loud for Mamma when I play. Deal?”

You grinned, throwing your arms around her neck. “Deal! But only when it’s not against England!”

Beth laughed, shaking her head. “You’re fighting a losing battle, Viv. England’s got her heart.”

“We go now?” You sighed, resting your head against Viv’s shoulder. 

“Is someone getting tired?” Beth teased, tickling your stomach. 

You giggled, squirming in Viv’s arms as Beth playfully tickled you. “I’m not tired!” you protested, though your yawn betrayed you. 

Beth chuckled, placing a kiss on your cheek. “Alright, I think it’s time we get you back to the hotel. We’ll have a nice warm bath and some snacks, and you can tell us all about how loud you were cheering with Buddy. Sound good?”

You nodded, still half-dazed with excitement. “Yeah! I wanna tell Mamma everything! We were the loudest, Mamma!”

Beth chuckled, ruffling your hair. “I have no doubt about that. You and Buddy make quite the team.”

Viv nodded with a grin. “You two are unstoppable.”

Viv handed you over to Rich while her and Beth went to go and get changed. You headed into a lounge for the family and friends of the two teams and happily ate your chips there while waiting. 

Beth and Viv gave you the option of going back on the coach with either of them and you chose to go with Viv. As Viv carried you out of the stadium and onto the coach, your head rested comfortably on her shoulder, the excitement of the day still buzzing in your chest, but sleep was beginning to take over. The soft hum of the world around you felt peaceful, and soon you were drifting off, knowing the day had been perfect.

[bambambwi]

Reveal?

Context ; You were set to collaborate on stage with BIGBANG, but you were secretly in a relationship with Kwon Jiyong, and the other members didn’t know about it. (rockstar gf au??)

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You were invited to collaborate with the legendary K-pop group BIGBANG. Initially, you turned down the offer, fearing that your relationship with their leader, kwon jiyong, might be exposed to the public. However, their management eventually convinced you to contribute a guitar solo in between of their song SOBER.

Eventually, you texted ji yong to let him know you had agreed to the offer.

"Of course they wanted you!" he replied. "You're one of the best out there."

"Thank you, ji... but isn’t it risky?" you asked, hesitation creeping in.

"I'll act like I don't even know you." he reassured, though you could almost hear the smirk through the screen.

To keep things professional and avoid unnecessary attention, you informed their staff that you would be practicing separately. You planned to join them only for sound check and dress rehearsal, sending over recordings of the prepared guitar solos in advance for approval.

Unfortunately for you, that plan didn’t hold up for long. You were required to attend at least one or two practice sessions to get familiar with your positioning and movements on stage to ensure you knew exactly where to stand and what to do until the very last note of the song.

And there you were, in their practice room, dressed in black sweats that matched your tank top, going through the motions. Learning the necessary stage movements, the small bits of the choreography, and figuring out exactly where to walk and stand. ji yong was right there with the group, practicing alongside them, his presence impossible to ignore.

As the instructor finally called for a break, you let out a quiet breath and made your way to a corner of the practice room, sinking onto the floor. The cool surface felt nice against your heated skin as you stretched out your legs, rolling your shoulders to ease the tension from practicing.

daesung noticed your quiet presence in the corner and made his way over, settling into a chair right next to you. His usual warm smile was in place as he glanced down at you.

"You know there was a chair right here" he pointed out.

"I know" you replied, stretching your legs out. "The floor was comfier."

daesung chuckled, leaning back slightly. "I thought you’d bring your guitar today."

"I thought it wasn’t necessary" you admitted, letting out an anxious laugh.

Before you could respond, ji yong suddenly sat down in front of you on the floor, effortlessly inserting himself into the conversation. 

"Ah, maybe she’s keeping the solo a secret.” he teased, tilting his head slightly.

You rolled your eyes "Or maybe I just didn’t think I needed it for a practice where I’m only learning where to stand" you shot back, raising a brow.

daesung chuckled beside you, clearly amused by the exchange. "Now i’m even more curious. Should we be expecting something crazy?"

ji yong smirked, resting his forearms on his knees as he looked at you.

"All of her collaborations with other artists, she played her parts extremely cool. How can it not be crazy?" he said, his tone both teasing and confident.

daesung chuckled beside you, clearly agreeing.

You, however, didn’t respond. Instead, you kept your gaze on your phone screen, pretending to be too occupied to engage. You weren’t sure if it was the pressure of the performance or the weight of ji yong’s presence, but acknowledging any of it felt impossible. So, you just nodded slightly, offering a small hum of acknowledgment before going back to scrolling aimlessly.

ji yong’s eyes never left you, even as you avoided looking at him or daesung. He let out a quiet smile, one so subtle that most people wouldn’t have noticed but daesung did. he watched as ji yong casually laid down on the floor right in front of you, arms resting behind his head, his expression unreadable but his intentions were clear. It was almost too obvious, the way he positioned himself directly in your line of sight, as if silently challenging you to acknowledge him.

You, however, kept your gaze fixed on your phone, your fingers scrolling through nothing in particular but the more you ignored him, the more persistent ji yong seemed to become.

daesung quickly fled the scene, suppressing a chuckle as he made his way back to the others, who were busy talking with the staff. He wasn’t about to get caught in whatever was going on between you and ji yong, especially when ji yong was being so obvious.

That left just the two of you.

He hadn’t moved from his spot on the floor, still lying there like he had all the time in the world.

"Are you really going to keep ignoring me?" he finally asked, his voice low and teasing.

‘’Isn’t that what we agreed to?" you muttered, gently nudging him with your leg.

ji yong let out a quiet chuckle, rolling onto his stomach, his face now resting against the cool floor as he turned toward you. His voice came out slightly muffled.

"It’s cold in here. Did you bring your jacket?"

You shook your head, still avoiding his gaze. "No, I left it in the car."

ji yong pushed himself up from the floor, standing in front of you as he shrugged off his jacket and without a word, he held the jacket out to you. You hesitated, glancing between him and the jacket before shaking your head. "I’m fine.”

he sighed, rolling his eyes. and when you didn’t move, he crouched down, draping it over your shoulders himself. His fingers lingered for just a second before he pulled away, smirking.

"See? Now you don’t have an excuse to keep ignoring me."

From a short distance away, taeyang crossed his arms, exchanging a knowing look with top as they observed ji yong draping his jacket over your shoulders. 

"You weren’t kidding" taeyang murmured to daesung, who stood beside him.

top took a slow sip of his water, eyes still on ji yong. "He’s not even trying to hide it."

They watched as ji yong lingered just a second too long, his smirk unmistakable. Meanwhile, you still seemed determined to avoid eye contact, though you hadn’t pushed the jacket away.

"Wonder how long they think they can keep this up" taeyang mused, amused by the whole thing.

daesung chuckled. "Not much longer if ji yong keeps acting like that."

──────────────────────

During both sound check and dress rehearsal, ji yong’s unusual closeness to you didn’t go unnoticed. The teasing, the lingering touches, the way he spoke to you differently. it was obvious to both the staff and his members.

"What happened to acting like you don’t know me?" you muttered, keeping your voice low.

ji yong smirked, unfazed. "I changed my mind... you’re not ignorable."

──────────────────────

Today was the day of the concert. You sat by your vanity desk, eyes closed, trying to steady your breathing and reassure yourself against the pressure. A staff member gently massaged your shoulders, easing the tension that had built up.

Unnoticed in the chaos backstage, ji yong sneaked into the room. Moving with practiced ease, he slowly took the staff member’s place, his hands replacing theirs without a word. His touch was familiar and warmer.

It took you a moment to realize the difference. And when you did, your eyes slowly opened, meeting his in the mirror.

“At this point, you want them to know, don’t you?” you murmured.

ji yong still working over your shoulders. “Maybe..” he said casually, voice low.

he turned your chair around, his hands gripping both armrests and caging you in. 

“ji what are you—”

Before you could finish, he leaned in, pressing his lips against yours in a slow, deliberate kiss. 

Your hands instinctively pushed against his chest, trying to create space, but he only leaned in further.The room was frozen in silence, the staff too shocked to react.

ji yong finally pulled back, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips as he tilted his head slightly.

“Ah, now your lipstick is smudged onto my lips" swiping his thumb across his mouth before glancing at you one last time.

Without a care in the world, he strolled out of the room, casually waving over his shoulder.

You were left frozen in place, surrounded by staff members staring at you. Just as ji yong disappeared through the door, a few of them quickly rushed over to fix your smudged lipstick.

“Is this why you didn’t want to take this collaboration at first?” one of them teased, dabbing at your lips with a knowing grin.

You groaned in response, slumping slightly in your seat as they continued to tease you. 

While you and the rest of the members were on stage performing, word about you and ji yong spread like wildfire among both your staff and BIGBANG’s.

Whispers traveled fast. staff exchanging glances, some stifling knowing smiles, others outright gossiping backstage. The scene from earlier had been impossible to ignore, and now, there was no denying what had been simmering beneath the surface.

Once the performance was over, you all said your goodbyes to the fans and walked backstage together. The energy was still high, adrenaline buzzing through your veins, but as soon as you were offstage, you distanced yourself slightly from the group.

Standing to the side, you sipped water through the straw of the bottle one of your staff held for you, trying to catch your breath. The others were chatting, some laughing, but you could still feel lingering eyes on you with the staff members stealing glances, barely hiding their knowing smiles.

taeyang, top, and daesung had finally caught up with the backstage gossip, and it showed.

The moment they spotted you, all three exchanged glances before making their way over, their expressions a mix of amusement and curiosity.

daesung was the first to speak, barely holding back a grin. “So… anything you wanna share with us?”

taeyang crossed his arms, tilting his head. “Didn’t think we’d find out this fast, huh?”

top simply sipped his drink, eyeing you with an unreadable expression before smirking. He didn’t need to say anything, the look on his face said enough.

You sighed, already bracing yourself for whatever teasing was about to come.

Before you could even respond to daesung, ji yong slid into the conversation, his tone casual yet firm.

“We keep this between us only." he said, glancing at the three of them. “I’ve told the staff to keep quiet about it, as she doesn’t want it to go out to the public.”

The atmosphere shifted instantly. daesung, taeyang, and top exchanged knowing looks, clearly processing his words. They could tell there was more to the story, but they respected the unspoken boundary he’d set.

You just stood there, the guitar still in your hands, feeling the tension between you and the others.

The silence lingered for a moment until the staff broke the silence asking everyone to gather for pictures.

It was a chance for everyone to fall back into the routine of the moment. You handed off your guitar to a staff member before walking over to join the group.

The three of them exchanged glances, but said nothing, as the staff snapped photos of the group together, the tension still hanging in the air.

Later that day, the five of you went out to dinner. The mood was lighter now, the teasing fading into the background as everyone settled into their seats. The group shared jokes and laughter, but eventually, the conversation turned toward you and ji yong.

You both exchanged a brief glance before he spoke up, explaining how you and he had even ended up together. “Its been awhile now.” he said, his tone casual but a hint of something more serious behind it.

You nodded, adding, “We just didn’t want it to be public yet, i don't feel too comfortable about it.”

The members listened intently, trying to piece together the story. 

After a moment, daesung broke the silence with a smile, leaning back in his chair. “Well, as long as you’re both happy.”

both taeyang and top nodded in agreement, “We’ll keep it to ourselves.”

The conversation shifted again, the tension easing as everyone settled into the familiarity of each other’s company.

──────────────────────

[ariiadnes]

╭ ⿻ ･ GRIEF , WALKING

you do not have flowers growing out of your veins. you do not have to be stuck in the dark corner of some room, some mind, some garden left to rot and fester.

ଓ.° ・ zayne. love & deepspace. comfort fic. quote cr : mabel podcast

the depths of the ocean almost resemble the finalities of life, the ebb and flow of the tides turned to violent waves : vicious, furious— temporary, and yet everlasting in the moment. one second beneath the surface becomes ten, then a hundred, then a thousand — because in desperation for the saving, you quickly learn that there is no way out, only through. but resilience is a fickle being, and the heart is not always meant for such turmoil. to carry the weight of it all places burden on the self, and in the strings of a humanity that lays heavy in your chest, the frailty grows and grows until it breaks. and it breaks and it breaks and it breaks.

to live, you think, is to breathe— and yet your lungs ache with a burning so intense that you almost wonder if you are drowning in the act of survival. something has gone terribly wrong. you know this. day after day, you stay afloat, but somewhere in the space between your ribs, there's a drowning somewhere, somehow. but the water isn't in your lungs, not yet, so it's okay.

it's okay. you're not drowning. not yet. so pick up the pieces and go. just go. it'll be fine.

but it's fine until it's not. you don't really break, not yet. it's almost a strange numbness, like some kind of quiet surrender, some kind of quiet defeat. quiet. quiet quiet quiet— because things are just easier that way, staying quiet. so you do. you keep such sorrows to yourself, holding them close to your chest, because they're your burdens, so why should anyone else have to be subjected to such a thing?

zayne finds that you've been too silent lately, too unlike yourself. it's the subtle things : the way you lose yourself in thought all too often, the way he carefully brings you back, that forced smile with that semblance of resignation. the way you toss and turn late at night, the way the brightness in your eyes is just a little dimmer these days. he knows. he always does. his soul has always been bound to yours, after all.

tonight, you do not lose yourself to the comforting hands of slumber. your mind races, and if anyone asked what you were thinking about, you don't think you could even truly answer. you don't know. it's like a weird emptiness— a haunting hollowness that gnaws and gnaws until it makes itself known and remembered.

1am. 2am. 3am.

you almost think you could cry. you shift slightly, turn on your side— only to face an…awake zayne. you pause.

"…how long have you been up, zayne?"

had it not been for those bleary eyes, you would have thought he'd been up this whole time, his expression as calm and composed as ever.

"i've only just woken." comes the simple answer, though there's that lingering affection you always sense. "you should have told me you couldn't sleep."

"didn't want to bother you."

you expect a simple response — it wouldn't have been a bother, and that'd be it. somehow, he'd lull you to sleep, just as he always does. but the silence that fills the little space between you is different, and you can feel the heaviness of his gaze. you don't like it. you don't dare meet it.

you're not sure what lessens the hurt : the way your name falls from his lips or the kindness in the way he speaks it-- or maybe it's the way his fingers lift your chin ever so slightly, a subtle plea laced in the warmth of his touch.

"…look at me?"

so you do. you do. you look at him, and all you can see is all the love in the god damn world and so much worry. and maybe that's what makes you break. maybe that's what makes you realize that you've been drowning all along, and that you need help, that you don't want to drown anymore, that you need something to hold onto to get back to the surface. you feel that familiar lump in your throat, but you cannot ignore it, no matter how hard you try. you feel the way your eyes suddenly sting, but you cannot ignore it.

you feel the way the devastation sinks in all at once, but you cannot ignore it. not this time.

his brows furrow ever so slightly as he studies you, watches the way you struggle. he's never been one to push too hard when it comes to expressing your worries, always waiting patiently until you're ready. but you're not, not yet, and you cannot even bring yourself to say that. not right now.

he understands. it's okay.

a warm hand on your chest, gentle. the feeling of the heart beneath the grief, beating and beating and beating : slowed, loved, endlessly, tenderly, and painfully so. zayne says nothing for a long while, and somewhere in the midst of a silence between two lovers, there is an aching felt and understood.

"…is it heavy?" he asks, quiet. "your heart?"

your hands tremble. you find yourself clutching the sheets in faint attempt to hide it, but he knows. of course he does.

yes, your heart is heavy. but so is the fear of being known and vulnerable.

you swallow hard. you nod, and even admittance in such a feeble way is enough to break your heart all the more, the pain stronger than your ability to stifle the broken sob that escapes.

"you can cry. it's alright." he says, shifting closer until the distance between your bodies is practically nonexistent. delicate is the way his fingers trace over your skin, resting over your pulse point for only a moment before his hand cups your cheek, thumb gingerly wiping your tears away. "i'll help you carry it."

you can't speak. can't respond, can't plead, can't say thank you. you just cry and cry until your throat feels raw, until your shaking hands clutch onto him like a lifeline, until your cries die down and you're left in his arms, surrounded in warmth and comfort and reassurance and sorrow all the same. he holds you close, fingers tracing circles into your skin.

"we aren't meant to carry grief alone." zayne murmurs. "you know that as well as i do. so please," a kiss to the forehead, then the cheek, then the corner of your mouth, "please let me help. i am here for you. if you're hurting, then trust me to tend to you. if you're tired, lean on my shoulder. if you need help, tell me what to do. if your heart is heavy, then i will hold it for you."

you think you could almost laugh at the way you begin to cry again with every single word. you are so tired, yet the weight on your chest is just a little bit lighter.

"…thank you, zayne." your voice cracks ever so slightly, and he smiles just the faintest bit. you wish you could say so much more, express your adoration and gratefulness, but the words remain on the tip of your tongue, stagnant. "i love you."

a pause, then the subtle way his arms tighten around you.

"you're welcome." another kiss to the forehead, reverent. "i love you, too."

he holds you like you're something precious, like you're something he's always loved and will forever love. he doesn't dare indulge in the thought of falling asleep— not until you have. and even when the fatigue has worn you down and you have slipped into yet another rest, he stays awake despite the late hours, just watching you, hoping that this slumber will grant you a moment of deserved peace after everything you have been through.

you haven't told him everything yet. that's okay. in due time. whenever you're ready, he will listen. for now, he thinks, taking in your serene expression, your fingers clutching onto him a little tighter even in your dreams, this is enough.

[mocha000]

Thank you for another great ch!

THE SOPE SCENE WAS A WHOLE FEAST! MY FAVORITE DUO! AND THEIR DYNAMIC IS SO CRAZY GOOD HERE! GOOD SHIT OMG! THANK YOU LI!!

"Jinnie is pillowed on his chest, hole slick and open around Namjoon's knot, resting just inside the comforting familiar warmth. Knot warming to soothe his pack omega who had been quite distressed when he woke last and was unfilled. But Namjoon has fixed that. Good, Namjoon is doing a good job, of keeping his mate and packmates happy." he calls him Jinnie aww. "Words have been hard for you in heat, more often than not communicating with one-word answers or a shake of your head, but you scrape together your words for Yoongi now. “Just cuddle? Just wanted to cuddle with you.” SO CUTE TT

"Musky alpha, happy alpha, your alpha. He laughs, a high-pitched sweet sound. It sounds so good against the tall ceilings. echoic, nearly melodic." yayy his giggle. "Barely conscious as he rubs the water from your lips with a thumb, chiding you gently for being messy." ahhh so intimate. "There are no lurking thoughts or anxiety over hidden things. No secrets- delightful or scary, lingering on the edge of Jimin’s mind. When he looks down at his hands they are not blood-stained or holding a gun." :(

"(This is not to be confused with jimin putting you in some sort of hierarchy- you firmly hold the spot as the cutest thing that Jimin’s ever seen. He uses a different word to describe each of the pack this way. Jimin has no second favorites or best favorites)." that's too cute. "(How lovely it might be to be loved that way, a simple concession but not one that is given easily. I’ve been writing this story for so long that I’ve forgotten how people fall in love. Could it be like this? I want it to be like this)." true :( Tae writing her poem in their bath is so domestic wow.

"Maybe when you're more lucid you'll tell her you can play pretend and go on as many first dates as you need to to get it right. Until she stops feeling this way." nice idea. i love how they love each other so dearly. "And Hoseok can tell from the pinch in Namjoon’s face and the slightly stressed sour note in his scent, that things are not good. That the pack alpha is worried- more worried than usual." ? "The first thing that indicates you're nearing the end of your heat is the tears; constantly your eyes are glassy and your scent is sour no matter how many times you cum." ohh. ""Alright pup, don't worry, no one is gonna take me from you." Namjoon means it." alphaa. so reliable.

"Some of the alphas like it a little bit too much. The crying. Jimin laps at your cheeks and teases you for it, calling you a soggy little puppy. Everything, tears, milk, slick. All wet and messy for them. Stretched to your breaking point. All burned up." kinda funny nickname but makes sense. "Maybe that’s just because your crying is the exact opposite of a turn-on for him. Yoongi’s lips glide across your forehead, feeling something like an apology." but i like this more. my green flag baby. crying hurts. hope she feels ok after it. “Wan' Hobi alpha.” oh...that's adorable :>

"Yoongi kisses your brow, never one to be hurt over you choosing someone else. Your tears are more important than his ego and what his mate wants in heat is infinitely more prescient than his newfound knot and the needs that come with it." so sweet. "Want both!" You cry, petulant." but yes sope!! WAIT TOGETHER?! AHHH "Jin’s job is done now, and he shuffles across the nest until he’s near Namjoon, flopping onto his side so that he gets to be the little spoon." cutee. "You and Yoongi, his best friend and his sort of soulmate." aww. "Yoongi’s looking at you with that same soft fond look in his eyes. Peacefully blinking at you slowly the same way Noodle does." i can't. imagined it and just wow. i need him TT

"Oh my god, you really let him and Hobi, they both really-" aww lol "6 or even 2 months ago you might have struggled to say it. To confess your needs to Namjoon. But now you only ruminate on exactly what it is you need. What will make you feel better?" "You feel it, teasing your fingers through it draped over his thighs, hands holding around the meat of them. It’s an oddly childish gesture, an omega stimming." it's too cute to see her be so comfortable with him TT "He is endlessly patient especially when his pups are trying to be brave." im wrecked!! i need him too!

"Namjoon strokes up and down the skin of your behind, your thighs can't separate with your shorts still half on and you rest your face on a pillow, Yoongi tilts your chin up to his, checking, but you just smile at him." “Gentle,” he asks. Namjoon raises his eyebrow like he’d never be anything but (maybe he’s rough with you if you asked for it, but gentleness will always be his default). He looks down and laughs when his fingers press into you again. There is a deeper ache under his finger. A bruise?" was thinking about when yoongi didnt want to see her treated roughly. (right?) and now he's more ok with it aww. and then i read the bruise part. oh lol.

"But that too can be fixed- You demand to be carried to the kitchen and Namjoon happily obliges." aww lol. "Hoseok is there, with his sunny smile and hair- less greasy, drying curly. Wearing your frilly pink apron flipping pancakes and starting on the scrambled eggs, cracking the eggs in one hand, bacon frying, hair half awry." so cute! "Who knows, maybe the whole pack will take a walk later, maybe to the beach. All of you will pile into two cars and drive out to the edge of the world and linger there. And you’ll sit in the sand and Hobi will search for more sea treasures. And Jimin will pick dandelions from the seashore, the only flowers really growing this early in spring. And you’ll tie one string around Tae's ring finger and one around yours." the beach holds so much meaning for them :>

"Namjoon and Jin will spend half of the time bickering and kissing but after, there could be pizza or sandwiches or takeout, and maybe once you get home, you’ll eat it all on the floor of the living room after you admit that really- the nest room needs to be entirely disassembled. You’ll go to sleep smelling like sea salt and love. Bodies aching in that good way that lets you know you’ve been loved that day. And you’ll wake to another morning just like this one, where the light is in your eyes but at least it’s yellow and golden." how nice and romantic! "Namjoon’s arms are the safest place in the universe. You can’t help but think that you’d be happy in them forever as you cuddle up on his chest." jealous TT

"You rest there, listening to the sound of Hobi's humming and Noodle meowing for bits of scrambled eggs as Tae and Jungkook bicker upstairs. Jimin says something to Jin on the stairs and you can hear the sound of them kissing. You can hear it all the way from here." soft description.

lol: "The stickiness between your legs, the dewy space under your breasts (that Hobi is kind of obsessed with nuzzling into but whatever, boobs are great, you're obsessed with tae's and he's obsessed with yours, you can both be casual about it), and the other countless little messes that you and the other omegas have made on them and the nest." "Yoongi peaks over your shoulder, “or a frowny face.” You whine, and your mate changes his tune, “Definitely a bunny.” cute "Yoongi takes a big dollop of suds and pops it onto the end of your nose, you go cross-eyed trying to look at it, pouting. Jimin can't help his smile." aww. "All of them prowl about like predators turned fat and lazy from domestication." "Water sloshes against your face, Yoongi's hand goes harder, more dominant, threading through your hair and holding your head up. "Pup, you cannot breathe underwater." kinda hot but lol "You barely have a few drops when Hobi leans down to check (to make sure really- he’s not behaving like a milk-drunk pup- he swears)." "Relieved when you shake your head almost angrily, eyebrows pinching together like you're angry he even suggested it." "Yoongi looks up making eye contact with Hobi (flushing desperately) and then Jin (looking curious and sort of impressed at your level of bratting. Any other day talking like that would get you drawn over either Jin or Namjoon's lap for a spanking)." hey she's an angel. she can be a little bratty now. "His generously sculpted ass shows two neat little rings, teeth marks." "Yoongi holds you firm to his chest like that will keep Jin from removing you" "You’ve left more than a few blankets squirt-stained." "“Really hyung?” Namjoon teases, but Yoongi throws a pillow at him, it sort of lands on you- but you don’t mind at all as the feathers flutter down around you. Gentle." "It’s heat rules. The time doesn’t matter." "His body is… a little distracting. You don’t know who it was- you, Jin, or Jungkook who mauled him but Hoseok is bitten up. long scratches line his back all the way down to the little dimples at the base of his spine." "Jungkook’s hassling giggle as both of them get in. And your mates brief “yah don’t splash me-”" very realistic lol "His hiss is only half hearted." “Ew slick does not count as a facemask Jungkook- ew-” double ew loll

hot: "Both Yoongi and Namjoon bury their faces between your thighs. Cheek to cheek, finger fucking more slick out of you that they lap up eagerly. And you cum until your toes can't even curl. Until your clit twitches, sucked pink and puffy, and you can't even squirt anymore." the duo ahh. imagining their expression omg. do they fight each other a little or do they work together? “Calm down babypup, you’ll have your Hobi, just give us a moment.” cute nickname. and ahh jin. "He watches Jin with heavy-lidded eyes an apex predator full and happy letting his prey walk close without hunting. Jutting his chin as if to say “Go on, give me a show.” oh my god. "You'd watched them press their knots together, glossy with omega slick, rutting and rubbing and laughing." "Looking up at them, Hobi's eyes are dark with such an unabashed show of wanting that behind you, Yoongi sort of laughs, a pitch too high. A little unhinged. A little pussy drunk." his laughs are previous. imagine a sexy type like this ahh. "Yoongi gets frustrated with the bottoms and with a brief tear- Hobi grips one side and Yoongi the other. Your bottoms truly fall away in tatters." dying. “Oh, do you like it?” He teases. The way that only Hobi can." imagining his smirk ahh. "Yoongi and Hobi are forced close next to each other by how hard you clench down. You hug both of them dribbling squirt out a little pathetically, it gathers around the base of their cocks. They pause a little, breathing heavy. Feeling it, making eye contact over your shoulder." damn. "Hobi remembers Yoongi’s big hands, both of their cocks next to each other, the slide of precum slick tangled with one fist to fuck." drooling. “Fuck- fuck- please- fuck” Yoongi is nearly unintelligible, but Hobi just laughs and keeps going." "“Oh, little pup can’t handle two cocks in her little hole? Too bad honey, you asked for it. Now take it.” Jin is mean when he’s lucid. pulling your head to the side to prod at Yoongi's mating mark." blushing omg. "Yoongi's voice goes rough, "look at me Hobi, look at me, I wanna see it while you fuck her, I wanna see it when you-" SCREAMING!! 'A bead of sweat drips from Hobi's nose onto your shoulder, Yoongi laughs and laps at it. Pausing to nibble at your mating mark. You mewl, and one of Yoongi's hands finds Hobi's. It goes like that both of them fucking you, Hobi holds one of your wrists to keep you steady in a sea of pleasure, Yoongi holding the other." "A hot gush against Hobi's stomach and drips down the line of his cock onto Yoongi’s happy trail." ahhhhhh. "You can take it. Their knots rub against each other as they pause, kiss each other, and then you, and then keep fucking you." aww. "“You can shave any bit of me you want if it makes you happy baby girl.”" the nickname?! he's too hot ahh.

"and feels a little new to me in terms of wording and writing in a good way, i hope you won't begrudge me when i need to take periodic breaks if i'm capable of giving you something you'll enjoy." of course not! "i'm going to ignore the fact that during the bath scene that water is probably SO FILTHY i did not say it in the chapter but they lowkey probably had to drain the water a few times and finger fuck the cum out of the m/c before she got clean. wow it's hot when i say it like that why didn't i write that???" lol but yeah that sounds pretty hot. its so much cum too omg.

"in my mind when hobi says 'his best friend and his sort of soulmate' he's talking about both of them in each roll like- they're both is best friend and his soulmate. they're the golden trio" ok i was wondering about this. so yay! "the reference to hobi's feet is specifically for one person out there." ??? "so did you guys like it??? the heat chapters??? did it live up to the hype of the whole series?" YES! (tbh i am fiending for more sope but this ch scene was kinda overwhelming. it met my desires so well omg.

Before I Leave You (Pt.81)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: Your heat is oh so close to breaking, but first, you need your whole pack even closer, but nothing seems close enough…

Tags: Heatsex, Dumbification kink, Dacryphilia, Crying during sex cuz its so good, overstimulation, fucking in omega space, mind break, Double penetration, Two Knots one hole, sope x reader, settling spanking, dumbification, lactation kink, omegan milk and talks of triggered ruts, breeding kink, implied/referenced somnophilia, rough sex, squirting, Subspace, dom! Namjoon, Dom! Seojin, jin refers to himself as daddy exactly one time, size kink, seokjin calls the m/c a slut but it's loving, overstimulation, voyeurism, Holecheck, fluff, Comfort no hurt,

W/c: 11.8k

A/n: wow last heat chapter!!! honestly i did not anticipate this taking so fucking long and for that i'm sorry (i'm not sorry at all).

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

The truth is heats aren’t all just fucking and getting fucked. Slick and knots, Alpha’s and Omega’s. Hierarchy and settling. There are also some sweet moments that exist independent of its raging and hunger. Moments of domestic bliss that find you like a shot of sunlight during a rainstorm:

The thrum of instinct is heavy, like an anchor pulling Namjoon up from sleep. His consciousness bubbles up from somewhere in between a very very happy dream involving the pack and a can of whipped cream and a feeling like he vaguely should eat something.

The first thing he registers is that he can taste cream on the back of his throat. Probably Jin's slick. And the second thing is that there is someone- an omega moving around the nest.

A bad thing, a thing that his instincts, primed and ready to protect, are all loud over.

Jinnie is pillowed on his chest, hole slick and open around Namjoon's knot, resting just inside the comforting familiar warmth. Knot warming to soothe his pack omega who had been quite distressed when he woke last and was unfilled. But Namjoon has fixed that. Good, Namjoon is doing a good job, of keeping his mate and packmates happy.

But that is Neither insistent nor very important at the moment as Namjoon subtly shifts the omega closer to him. Going into guarding mode, on alert the second he wakes. Eyes flicking from the window to the door, a growl already building to ward off potential predators.

But there are none here in the quiet room, nothing besides the cool blue light of the moon slipping through the window. Jin nuzzles into his neck, whining low at the sudden burst of angry alpha on the air.

Namjoon’s arms tighten at the sound of movement. Thumb rubbing at the dimple of Jin’s spine. But when he looks- eyes flinty in the darkness- it’s just you.

He watches as you move, instantly fully awake, waiting and seeing if you'll trudge too close to the edge of the nest and if you'll need him to manhandle you (albeit gently) back into your place among the other soft and sleeping pups here. Safe, where you belong, where you should be sprawled and ready to take any of the sensual delights that Namjoon's alphas have in store for you.

Namjoon is patient, like a cat watching a mouse, waiting to see if you like Jinnie earlier, need to be caught.

Namjoon hadn’t let the pack omega fuss over the food for too long without herding him back inside the nest. The distance between Jin and its safe walls is the mental equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Namjoon had all but nipped Jin at the scruff- something that the pack omega only sometimes allows. But if Namjoon feels the need to get all his omega’s safe and in one spot then Jin feels it tenfold.

It's a good thing that they both get each other like this. Namjoon will never take it for granted, and will never not marvel over his soulmate.

Namjoon scans the nest, counting bodies and measuring breaths. Every pup is where they should be, snug and sated. Well, almost every pup. But Namjoon is inclined to watch and wait and see if you come to him.

Your cheeks are round looking, eyes barely open, blinking blearily, wearing only a large dark t-shirt- because you complained that the nudity was bothering you earlier. It was an easily fulfilled request although the alpha’s might have bickered a little bit over whose shirt you wore. Jimin had won out and you smell like him, like vanilla and alpha musk.

Although that might be due to the state of the shirt. The black shirt you wear is crisscrossed a little grossly with near-translucent evidence of Jimin's cum and your and Jk’s rubbing. But messiness and a lack of hygiene kind of goes hand in hand with heat and maybe he'll remember to think it's gross tomorrow.

But now Namjoon breathes in deep a barely there warning growl on the exhale, luxuriating in the scent of all of you combined- in more ways than just the shirt indicates. Even from here, he can smell how bred you are. The underlying sated current to your scent tells him he's done his job and done it well.

For a moment Namjoon lets himself imagine that he's actually pupped you (all three of you at once, but who’s really measuring Namjoon’s fantasy here) and that soon you'll start to swell and sweeten. You'll be as adorably dependent on them as you are in omega space all the time. The fantasy is so heavenly that Namjoon’s eyelids begin to grow heavy.

Jin is going to absolutely go to town with you and Jungkook later. God, Namjoon would kill for a shower. Maybe in the morning when he's not so tired.

Namjoon watches, mouth dry and knot sore. Namjoon is just detangling his thoughts enough to try and ask you if you need another breeding or perhaps growl at you in warning, when you get to where Yoongi’s slumped. Knees to the side, body half propped up in a mess of pillows.

His pj’s are pulled low, the same flannel ones that Yoongi always likes but that Jungkook complains feels too scratchy. But you don’t seem to mind, immediately snuggling down into your mate. Your legs and Yoongi’s legs immediately tangling.

Namjoon has never asked what it feels like- your mating mark, beyond the barest scientific-driven questions. But sometimes he wonders- is Yoongi your north star? Is he the taste on the back of your throat? The face you see behind your eyelids as you dream.

Namjoon’s hands tighten around Jin’s body instinctively. He's been looking at the pack omega's throat a lot more this heat, appreciating the musculature, the vein that Namjoon can see pulsating. They've been together now for what- 6 years? Almost 7? How much longer should they wait?

Yoongi wakes when you fall into his arms. A little thump, A little oof. Namjoon hears it from across the nest. In the quiet soft hum of dreaming bodies, Jungkook’s soft snoring and puppy twitches make a blanket rustle.

Yoongi doesn’t look upset at being woken up so abruptly, blinking as you duck low and nuzzle into his jaw, whining softly. Needy. Lying your body weight over him and instantly limp.

Namjoon's instincts resettle themselves.

“Hey little honey,” he says softly followed immidatly by something barely intelligible. Brushing your tangled hair back from your face, ducking low to bump his nose against yours before he kisses you, soft and slow deep.

Namjoon hums, pleased.

You only squirm in reply, shuffling closer to Yoongi, like just getting your body next to his isn’t enough. Isn’t close enough for your mate. Namjoon feels his heart pang.

"Did you need it? Do you want it?” He trails off, and Yoongi’s flush is a little noticeable even if the half-darkness. You just shake your head. Namjoon can tell by the way your cheeks, look- flushed but not sweaty- that this isn’t another spike of heat.

This is just you; this is just you needing to be close to Yoongi. Namjoon’s mouth goes a little dry and he doesn’t speak, doesn’t say a word for fear of interrupting you.

Words have been hard for you in heat, more often than not communicating with one-word answers or a shake of your head, but you scrape together your words for Yoongi now. “Just cuddle? Just wanted to cuddle with you.”

Yoongi hums deep and gravely. And opens his arms, pealing back his covers because with you there- he won’t need a blanket, burning hot as you are. You settle in around him. Hitching a leg over his hip that Yoongi adjusts pulling you closer.

You press your face to Yoongi’s throat and Namjoon sees him swallow. Sees your mate wrap his arms around you, hand skimming up and down your back, endless trails until you fall asleep. He thinks Yoongi might whisper something to you in the darkness.

After counting the bodies once again. Namjoon tucks Jin's head back under his chin and shuts his eyes. Listening for seven heartbeats beating in rhythm before his instincts let him rest.

The pack all need it after the heat, Namjoon thinks it must be close to ending now, but it’s hard to tell for sure.  

~-~

There are other soft moments too, as the spikes between your heat truly start to petter off later that evening. It's not over yet, but it's getting there. When you're lucid enough to speak, you and Jungkook complain that your bodies feel awful.

The stickiness between your legs, the dewy space under your breasts (that Hobi is kind of obsessed with nuzzling into but whatever, boobs are great, you're obsessed with tae's and he's obsessed with yours, you can both be casual about it), and the other countless little messes that you and the other omegas have made on them and the nest.

The last layer gets peeled back after the alphas detangle you from the nest one by one whisking you away upstairs to deal with some of that mess. Revealing a clean layer of nest below. The nest is not nearly as plush as it was at the start of the heat. Too many soiled blankets have been removed and too many rutted against pillows have been judged too dirty to sleep against.

Your heat fever quiets just before you get into the bath and Jimin turns you knotted and sleepy. Reclining against Tae's chest while Yoongi gets wet up to his upper arm. Teasing Jimin for turning lazy after a knot. But it’s all false and fondly put upon. Yoongi doesn’t mind washing your hair and Jimin’s. Both of you are sudsy, enjoying Jin’s nice-smelling shampoo that leaves both of you speckled with pink bubbles. Sighing and purring at every lingering rub.

You nuzzle into the crook of Jimin's elbow. Seeking out something intangible. Jimin smells so good. Musky alpha, happy alpha, your alpha. He laughs, a high-pitched sweet sound. It sounds so good against the tall ceilings. echoic, nearly melodic.

Yoongi is very very careful to rub behind your ears. Firm fingers massaging out the knots in your neck until you’re turning limp against Jimin’s front. In this position, Tae can poke and prod and count the freckles on your back.

“You know, if you connect all of these, they sort of look like a bunny,”

Yoongi peaks over your shoulder, “or a frowny face.” You whine, and your mate changes his tune, “Definitely a bunny.” He pecks your forehead and your eyelashes flutter.

"My perfect bunny, so good after your first heat with us. You just have to be like that- you just have to let us take care of you. Can you do that for me huh? Can you be good for us?" Yoongi says it as if he can hardly believe it. 'First heat' is said with such a reverence that it makes you just a little more lucid.

Tae goes quiet, in the way that she does when you know she’s thinking through something- some aspect of her story or a poem, a particular way to word things. And things are calm enough that Jimin can answer her sleepy request for a bit of paper and a pen.

"Minnie. If you’ve got a moment."

Jimin gets up and out of the tub. Disappearing from your front after he drapes you over the side of the deep tub. The porcelain is deliciously cool against your front compared to the hot water. Should you respond to Yoongi? Do you need to?

He prods at your mouth, and you open obediently, eyes closed. Happy to taste- water? Electrolyte? He guides you to sip and you do. Barely conscious as he rubs the water from your lips with a thumb, chiding you gently for being messy.

If Jin were awake, he’d be sudsing up your hair and using some of Tae's expensive leave-in conditioner, he’d section and detangle each strand with a gentle tug. He would use the sugar scrub and then the body wash and then lather you down with body oil leaving your skin shiny and hydrated.

If Jin were awake and it was time for a good grooming session the pack omega would catalog each of the bruises on your body and dispense a pea-sized amount of the soothing cream that he always uses. The bite marks on your neck might need something a little more heavy duty. Jimin has been a little more nibbly than usual.

Jimin pauses before getting back into the tub, staring down at you and Tae for a moment, taking a second to appreciate the vision you paint. Both of his girls in the bath together. Everything slow and comforting and normal.

It's so normal here. Between you four. Tae, Jimin, Yoongi, You.

There are no lurking thoughts or anxiety over hidden things. No secrets- delightful or scary, lingering on the edge of Jimin’s mind. When he looks down at his hands they are not blood-stained or holding a gun.

He just has the pen and paper for Tae, a sheet of paper ripped out of the notebook she keeps next to the nest upstairs. The journal exists only for scrawling and mumbling through Tae's jumbled thoughts, not sacred like the ones downstairs that only see a finished product. Jimin didn’t think Tae would want to risk dropping her whole notebook into the bathtub.

Yoongi takes a big dollop of suds and pops it onto the end of your nose, you go cross-eyed trying to look at it, pouting. Jimin can't help his smile.

Tae's chestnut hair is half a wreck but she’s still the most beautiful thing Jimin’s ever seen. (This is not to be confused with jimin putting you in some sort of hierarchy- you firmly hold the spot as the cutest thing that Jimin’s ever seen. He uses a different word to describe each of the pack this way. Jimin has no second favorites or best favorites).

Jimin’s cheeks look a little…moisturized probably from all the time that he’s spent buried between your thighs during this heat. His skin glows. Radiant. Although heats usually leave the alphas looking a little bit ragged and worn out that hasn’t been the case with this heat.

All of them prowl about like predators turned fat and lazy from domestication. Sleepy but not exhausted. Worn but not at the end of their ropes. Instincts a heavyweight that sings like a low drone. White noise. Like the mental equivalent of a weighted blanket.

Even for Jimin who usually gets out of heats so on edge from all the hormones, usually so worn down by the end that his skin turns hypersensitive and his words get chopped and simple. Overstimulated, that's the word for it.

But not now, there’s not an ounce of tension in Jimin’s body as he watches you and Tae in the bath. He watches Tae wipe a bit of soap from your cheek and Yoongi shields your eyes from the water as he rinses out your hair. Your purring ripples out into the open air, deep and luscious like velvet. When Jimin looks down at his arms- there are goosebumps there.

Yoongi looks up at Jimin, still bare, still dripping water onto the floor, and smiles. Jimin can’t fight his flush.

It's probably your slick and milk that has Jimin feeling so tamed. Probably.

Jimin always has time for you and Tae. That’s sort of one of his rules; that he will prioritize you no matter what he’s doing. That even when things are bad or scary or you’re in heat he will make time to indulge you both. Indulging you both is what Jimin lives for.

(How lovely it might be to be loved that way, a simple concession but not one that is given easily. I’ve been writing this story for so long that I’ve forgotten how people fall in love. Could it be like this? I want it to be like this).

Jimin returns to the tub and bundles you back against his chest, his feet nudging against Tae's knees as he gets comfy in the hot water. Tae stretches and turns her body to reach for a towel, wiping her hands to dry them so she can grab the paper. Yoongi continues to wash you smiling down at your fingers limply curled into a fist, taking a brush to them and the dirt under your nails. Jimin’s arms loosely wrap around your back to keep you in place.

You roll onto your tummy or try to. You're awfully wiggly and sleepy like this. it's almost like you're trying to nest in the water.

"No no no pup, you can't present here." You pout at that. The ball of Jimin's knee rests against your stomach. On your belly- you have to get onto your belly.

Water sloshes against your face, Yoongi's hand goes harder, more dominant, threading through your hair and holding your head up. "Pup, you cannot breathe underwater."

You grumble like you wish they'd let you try, but stay put when Yoongi picks you up and rests you across Jimin's lap. Half draped over Tae, half over Jimin. Utterly boneless.

It isn’t the first time Tae has used your bare back as a rest for her notebook. The feeling of the paper against your bare skin is comforting and familiar. Her non-dominant hand tickles over your shoulder as you doze, not fully asleep lazing in the water.

Yoongi leans his cheek against the ball of Tae's shoulder, nuzzling briefly. He peeks over her shoulder as she writes and scrawls and she tilts the paper so that he can see better.

Occasionally hands grip under your arms, readjusting so that you don’t actually drown as you sort of fall asleep. You’re so tired, a bone-deep exhaustion that cannot be roused.

And it's so warm, the places where they touch you blend and move, sudsy and slippery.

Your face gets gently washed, gentle fingers in smooth circles and when Yoongi tilts your chin, you notice that his fingers have already gone pruny from how they’ve sudsed you up between your legs to your knees, every inch of you clean. Even the hem of his pushed-up sleeves are damp.

When she’s done with her little poem, Tae recites it for you three. The steam turns the air hazy. It sort of feels like a love letter that turns into a poem. You’re distantly aware of it as always, that this poem is about you.

But then again most of the time when Tae writes it’s about you. (Jimin too, but mostly- you).

You think when she finally lets you read her book you’re going to see little bits of your love story in between the pages. You’ll notice flashes of you and things that are references to the way that you love her. Sweet reminders that you are loved and treasured just as dearly as one of Tae's characters. That you live in her head just like they do.

8 months ago she would have never shared a poem with any of them so soon after it popped into her head. She’d at least have edited it a little and let the words linger for a day or two. Tae's words used to be kept under lock and key. But you have made Tae into someone brave now. She is not so scared of showing the delicate parts of her. You curl your hand around her thigh in response. Cheek resting on her knee as you listen to her voice. 

“I long to be careless with my heart, to not know what it feels like when it burns. To give it thoughtlessly again, so that I might prolong those firsts with you."

There is a lump in her throat, you can hear it as she says the words. it makes them come out hushed like she is close to crying. The ending of these firsts has never bothered you. First kiss, first date, first heat. All crossed off a list. Maybe when you're more lucid you'll tell her you can play pretend and go on as many first dates as you need to to get it right. Until she stops feeling this way.

"As the firsts become fewer and fewer, I find myself pausing, making it last, savoring it.” You rub your cheek into Tae's knee, and Yoongi’s hand runs through your hair, then Tae's.

“A bite, a blush, a secret shared.” Jimin’s hand lingers around the curve of your shoulder, holding you out of the water.

“The love on the blankets, your kiss ruddy on my hands. The feeling of your knees between my knees, Your heart and other banquets. we feast upon the plenty. Pomegranates. Figs. Milk. Honey.”

Tae's hand thumbs over your lip, and when you look up at her you find her watching you. Reading off the words without looking at the paper, like she’s already committed it to memory.

“A first meal or last like any other. Regardless, I eat.”

~-~

With a little bit of prodding and a bit of encouragement, Hoseok gets quite confident towards the end of your heat.

It's either from your moans or the increasing vulnerability and laconicness of your body. Nothing makes an alpha doting and possessive like a vulnerable little omega. One fucked quiet and soft. Completely pliant and boneless in the nest, unable even to reach for them as your body gets softer and softer with heat.

The fever rages through your body, turning you docile and out of it. Even when your packmates try to prop you up for a bite to eat, a bit of water, or a wipe to your face- you cannot seem to hold yourself up. Body limp, bones like Jello. Eyelashes fluttering and whining. Fucked so good that you can hardly open your eyes.

You whine through the overstimulation of another orgasm. But your hands feel so heavy you can't even push their hands or faces away when it gets to be too much. You are truly fucked up. Truly gone from all their attention.

Like with most omega's, your heat gets very very bad before it breaks. An increasing spike that foretells the ending. Nothing is enough, not even overstimulation makes your heat fever quiet.

Both Yoongi and Namjoon bury their faces between your thighs. Cheek to cheek, finger fucking more slick out of you that they lap up eagerly. And you cum until your toes can't even curl. Until your clit twitches, sucked pink and puffy, and you can't even squirt anymore.

Sweat beads at your temple and your body begins to tremble. And Hoseok can tell from the pinch in Namjoon’s face and the slightly stressed sour note in his scent, that things are not good. That the pack alpha is worried- more worried than usual.

But Namjoon has a lot to balance, between Jin sleeping through the night on the other side of the nest and measuring his other half’s breaths. deep and gentle, counting the minutes until he wakes. And Jungkook who seems to have stolen your energy and all but needs to be dragged back from the edge of the nest at every available opportunity.

He squirms, making a game out of it. A game that Tae and Jimin do not enjoy in the slightest. “Kookie don’t-“ “I swear to god if you bite me again I’ll-“ “behave omega”

But their threats land on deaf ears. Jungkook just giggles and rolls away. Leaving their muscles straining, arms bulging as they hold him down by the wrists as the omega rolls, mouth open, teeth bared. But Jungkook always did like to be held down when fucked, restrained, and made to take it until that feisty edge in him is dulled into something docile.

But you? You continue to cry.  

You just can't recognize what it is you need, frustrated, endlessly frustrated. Maybe you got a taste of it when they realized you were leaking milk; all of them close, all of them around you. You want that back now. Your packmates under your teeth. You need all of them, right now.

Or at least more than one. Yoongi and Namjoon between your legs was half of it but they didn't touch the ache in you. The burning need to be full. To feel full.

One knot just won’t due.

Luckily, Namjoon has prepared you well for it.

Your tits are bitten and puffy looking. They'd spent several hours draining you dry. You barely have a few drops when Hobi leans down to check (to make sure really- he’s not behaving like a milk-drunk pup- he swears). You only sigh gently at the closeness, his hair brushing your skin, nuzzling into his hairline as his mouth goes where you’re tender, a few mouthfuls, the sound of gulping and Hobi.

Hobi. You cling to him and whine when he moves away. Distantly through the dripping and the trembling you’re aware that he’s trying to say something to you. He sighs when you stay silent, hand listlessly tangling in the nest. Needy for something you can’t say, words that just won’t come to your lips.

You want that closeness back, You want them near again- you just can't figure out how to say it.

The first thing that indicates you're nearing the end of your heat is the tears; constantly your eyes are glassy and your scent is sour no matter how many times you cum. You're sniffly pressed to Tae's shoulders while Jungkook latches. Little tears on your cheeks while Yoongi knots you.

Every single moment you're awake, you're weepy. No matter how many times the pack tries and soothe you; you are wet-eyed and sniffly. Broken somehow.

“You don’t want us to stop fucking you right?” Namjoon asks after you cry and whimper through another knotting. Relieved when you shake your head almost angrily, eyebrows pinching together like you're angry he even suggested it. Tears threaten to spill as you lock your ankles around Namjoon’s back, pushing all of you closer to him, Your stomach brushes his. The dewiness is faintly gross but faintly hot too.

"Alright pup, don't worry, no one is gonna take me from you." Namjoon means it. Even if you probably won't remember it later. His hand settles on the back of your neck and guides your face to his scent gland. He's not surprised that you bite down, the sigh slips from his lips and his thumbs rub and roll your scruff to soothe you. “Ah pup, alpha isn’t going anywhere.”

They try not to let it affect them, how you cry.

Crying can be hot sometimes, making a sub cry because they’re feeling too good well. Jimin might give you exactly that demonstration when he mounts Jungkook, finally turning the other omega docile under the weight of his knot. The dominance in the air like a fire threatening to spark.

But you remain bundled from Jinnie’s chest to Namjoon’s, to Yoongi’s, “I’ll take her.” he says. An edge to his voice that Namjoon might not have taken as a threat to his dominance before Yoongi had a knot.

Namjoon clenches his teeth. Everyone is a bit on edge with you crying.

“Can you tell us why you’re crying little pup? Does something hurt? Are you achy here?” Jin very very gently cups your chest. You're sat half sideways in Yoongi’s lap, peaking out at the pack omega from Yoongi’s neck, shaking your head slightly. Jin’s hands move south. thumb rubbing up and down the chub of your thigh.

During any other post-heat Jin would be sleeping soundly through most of the following day, but not now, not with you like this.

Jin's hair is so tangled it nearly stands up straight, his cheeks are so puffy and his lips are so swollen from kissing and biting that they look a bit like a beak. But besides the fact that his body just won't stop slicking up- Jin's fine. His skin is no longer flushed, he can blink back the last little bit of haze and consider himself ludic. His heat is over. fucking finally.

So when he wakes to find you crying, he doesn't hesitate to help, to slip his hands between your thighs. “How about here? Does this hurt? Is that why you're crying? Did we break your little hole?”

You tremble a little bit as he strokes, finger pads rubbing in what he hopes is soothing circles. But when he stills you shake your head and Jin sighs, removing his hand from you with a barely there cobweb of slick that Namjoon almost immediately eyes.

You tuck your face back into Yoongi’s throat, sniffling renewed as he moves away from you to say something quietly to Namjoon, your mate's throat vibrates against your cheek as he speaks but you can't make sense of the words.

"Joon, don't be gross."

"Sorry." Namjoon doesn't sound sorry at all.

Some of the alphas like it a little bit too much. The crying. Jimin laps at your cheeks and teases you for it, calling you a soggy little puppy. Everything, tears, milk, slick. All wet and messy for them. Stretched to your breaking point. All burned up.

But Yoongi is more gentle, more routine, slower and sweeter. It's late at night when they finally figure out what you need. The lamp in the corner is on and your body is shrouded in shadow. Sweaty and achy.

You’re no longer able to move so much, so exhausted that you need your packmates due to every little thing for you. You need Jimin to guide bites to your lips and need Namjoon to brush your teeth when it comes time for bed. Mouth open and eyes closed, so trusting as Namjoon tilts your head and praises you. 

You're wearing pj's, little pajama shorts pushed to the side, a button-down shirt in front that has most of the buttons undone. It makes you feel so much better, being taken care of like this. But still. You cry.

And you need Yoongi like you need blankets, warmth, he'd offered to fuck you to sleep and you'd nodded your scent. And now Yoongi is trying really- he's doing his best.

But still, you can't seem to stop crying. He presses his cheek along yours crouched low so that your bodies touch everywhere. Your heartbeat next to his heartbeat. Your cheek against his cheek as his hips move in small little circles. His knot is just barely starting to grow sensitive and taught. That new feeling that Yoongi is starting to recognize as a warning.

You’re warm all the way to your temple. Yoongi has realized that it’s more the emotion that’s making you cry and less his dick, but still-

He juts his hip forward, working his knot into you. And you sniffle against his throat.

Yoongi finds it hard to remain undistracted with you crying. Maybe that’s just because your crying is the exact opposite of a turn-on for him. Yoongi’s lips glide across your forehead, feeling something like an apology. He stops thrusting and instead rests inside of you, warm and wet and tight.

You tremble. Hands brought up to your chest like you need to hide your heart from him. Yoongi tries not to be hurt by that. Yoongi rests his forehead against yours and nearby Namjoon perks up a little, watching and waiting.

Yoongi wishes Namjoon would just rest.

“Little honey, will you tell me what’s wrong? What’s going on in that fuzzy head of yours huh? You can tell me.”

You tip your chin down, voice oh so quiet, oh so fragile when you finally speak. “Won’t be angry?”

“Not gonna be angry. Promise.”

You glance sidelong, not at Namjoon, but to where Hoseok is eating a late dinner, trying not to look like he’s watching (He was definitely watching.) But Jin has an arm wrapped loosely around his waist, a little possessive, a little protective. But Yoongi knows that like you Hobi likes a physical reminder to stay put and rest, a reminder that he’s exactly where he’s wanted at the pack omega’s side.

“Wan' Hobi alpha.”

Yoongi kisses your brow, never one to be hurt over you choosing someone else. Your tears are more important than his ego and what his mate wants in heat is infinitely more prescient than his newfound knot and the needs that come with it. But you whimper, clinging to him as he starts to pull out. Tears once again build at the edge of your eyes and threaten to spill.

“No! Don’t go!”

“Honey, I don’t understand, you can’t have both of us at once…” Yoongi trails off as you sniffle.

"Want both!" You cry, petulant. Yoongi looks up making eye contact with Hobi (flushing desperately) and then Jin (looking curious and sort of impressed at your level of bratting. Any other day talking like that would get you drawn over either Jin or Namjoon's lap for a spanking).

There is a single moment where everyone waits. Jin’s eyebrows go from raised into his hairline to down, staring at you like you’re going to send Jin into heat again. Can one omega even trigger another’s heat? If they could, you would certainly trigger Jin’s.

Jin has that dark look in his eye that Yoongi has learned to be a little bit afraid of. The same kind of look he gets when Jungkook asks to be have his hole slapped. When Jimin asks to be pushed around. When Namjoon asks for his collar. A dangerous look.

The pack omega is in post heat, he's not supposed to be doing any of the helping and yet- Jin shuffles over to where you and Yoongi recline in the nest.

You can't possibly be asking for that. For two knots at once. You’ve never broached that kind of play; anal, with Yoongi. and he thinks this is hardly the time to do it when you’re already not communicating well- when you’re in Omegaspace and even the slightest hurts and aches can feel mountains high. You are so sensitive when you are like this, in heat and in Omegaspace.

And yet you reach down, palming blindly where you and yoongi meet. "Want Hobi here, want both please? Good pup?"

You can't possibly understand what you're asking for. It's too dangerous. Stretching you out like that. You couldn’t possibly take two knots in one hole, right?

Only, could you?

You’d taken Namjoon barely an hour ago, and the pack alpha had slid in like it was nothing, fucking a fresh wave of slick and a few dribbles of squirt out of you. Knot tugging at your entrance until Yoongi could see where you went pink. You’re… stretched a little, dilated, fucked open enough to take Namjoon’s cock, usually a gargantuan task but-

You’d half slept through the last time he’d knotted you. namjoon is at least twice as thick as yoongi, and hobi is only a little bit girthier. yoongi's knot would be small if he was an alpha. hobi's always been average.

But togeather... could they fit?

It’s Jin who checks, shuffling up to get behind you. Sneaking his hand first under the hem of your shirt to stroke at your hip lovingly, and then down the edge. Lower. Yoongi doesn’t slip out, and you continue to nuzzle into the column of his throat, sniffling.

“Wan Hobi, want- hng.”

Jin’s fingers prod, and it’s almost exactly how Namjoon guided Hobi earlier only it’s Jin doing it this time, all snug up behind Yoongi. He smells like heat and like alpha cum, like he’s been bred himself. It’s doing things to Yoongi’s self-control, that new tight edge to fucking. Being surrounded by two omega’s in heat, sandwiched between them.

“Calm down babypup, you’ll have your Hobi, just give us a moment.”

Jin is tired but lucid. Pretty soon he’ll cajole one of the alphas into letting him sneak upstairs for another bath. Jin can only handle the tacky feeling of slickness between his legs for so long. But the prospect of re-grooming himself alone after a heat doesn’t appeal to him nearly as much as making sure you and Jungkook are tended to.

It can’t be much longer now, there can’t be too much more to your heats, maybe another 6 or so hours. You're both so tired, and the alphas are too. Jimin is sleeping barely a few feet away, heaping over a clean pink and purple checkered blanket. His generously sculpted ass shows two neat little rings, teeth marks.

He rubs slowly at where your entrance parts are around Yoongi’s cock and then more insistently until you let him in. He has to use a bit of force but it’s easy. His fingers slide in next to Yoongi’s cock.

You hiccup and cry, this time because it's good, it's exactly what you've needed and Jin doesn't stop.

Namjoon has done a good job of fucking you open and sloppy. You quiver but stretch easily. Jin’s second finger goes in with little more than a hiccup, his third too, almost holding around Yoongi’s cock, making the stretch tighter. Your trembling increases when Jin turns his wrist over to press up against your spongy g-spot. And Seokjin watches your clit twitch in response and you cry out.

One day, one day soon he’s going to test how much that little nub can take, it going to make you cum until you can’t even squirt anymore. You can hardly handle this with more than a dribble now. Just a drop or two that hits Jin's wrist in a slight brush of warmth.

You pull your knees up to your chest obediently, and Yoongi holds you under your knees. Jin grabs one of your ankles to keep you still, to keep you from squirming for more fingers.

There you go, stretched again, more. You want more. Two packmates close and your instincts tell you that's good. Your instincts start to recede just slightly. Not enough but getting there.

Jin’s cock twitches, still soft.

Hobi lounges not far away, his chest dotted with bite marks and pretty marks, bruised looking in the shadow, sharp eyes watching him. Hobi's eyes close slightly. But stay open. The eye contact he makes with Jin is tentative at first, but Hobi doesn’t blink or look away first, he doesn’t back down.  

Perfect.

Jin’s teeth ache, Hoseok shies away from Jin’s becoming hand but not for long. Namjoon has been watching the whole time while reclining, looking big and protective. Watching Jinnie do his work as pack omega with a domineering glint in his eyes that Jin almost wants to purr at.

He watches Jin with heavy-lidded eyes an apex predator full and happy letting his prey walk close without hunting. Jutting his chin as if to say “Go on, give me a show.” 

Jin fits three fingers into your hole next to Yoongi’s cock, each trust earning him a whimper before he pops them out and lands a spank over your clit, both you and Yoongi jump. Jin’s hand comes away wet.

Jin has Hobi by the back of his neck, quicker than he can think to reign in his instincts. There is no squirming or pleas for justification. Hoseok just tips his throat and lets Jin sniff at it, snuffling up and down his throat.

“She wants you Hobi puppy, don’t you want to feel Yoongi’s knot my sweet pup?” Hobi blushes but relents, letting Jin guide him closer.

Earlier, pillowed in the nest after knotting, you’d watched your mate and Hobi. Watched as Hobi got down to look, whispering quiet and fond words with his hands wrapped around yoongi's knot. You'd watched Hobi's long hand's birdlike drift down Yoongi's chest to go between his legs.

Yoongi had let the other alpha explore him until he'd gone taught and sagged. "Ah really- fuck"

"Like this, it feels good when it's like this. wrap your hand around your knot like this and tug-"

His touch is both experimental and familiar. You'd watched them press their knots together, glossy with omega slick, rutting and rubbing and laughing.

And now you’ll get to have both, both at the same time. You chirp, needy, bratty. You don't want to be denied it for another moment.

You squirm, Hands opening and closing in the nest. Looking up at them, Hobi's eyes are dark with such an unabashed show of wanting that behind you, Yoongi sort of laughs, a pitch too high. A little unhinged. A little pussy drunk.

Hoseok is beginning to get back his confidence, the frantic fear of the heat wearing away. It always goes this way; Hoseok is always just thinking he’s finally adjusted to all the scents when the heat ends.

Jin’s job is done now, and he shuffles across the nest until he’s near Namjoon, flopping onto his side so that he gets to be the little spoon. The pack alpha instantly ropes an arm around his waist and pulls him in, close. Nosing along the side of Jin's face.

Yoongi guides you to lie on your side so that he can spoon you and Hoseok can be at your front through this. It reminds you a bit of how you and Hoseok first fucked, blankets all around, warm through it, your leg hitches up around Hobi's waist. Urging him closer.

You're still wearing your shorts and your pajama top, and your top at least- gets easily unbuttoned. Yoongi gets frustrated with the bottoms and with a brief tear- Hobi grips one side and Yoongi the other. Your bottoms truly fall away in tatters.

You make eye contact with Hobi and for a second, he swears you get more lucid, reaching out your hand. His breathing calms. Had it been ragged? Hobi hadn’t noticed.

Yoongi slows his pace from behind you. Hobi’s voice sounds rough even to his own ears. “You really need it huh?”  

You whimper and nod, looking up at him still weepy. Yoongi coos and wipes your tears away. You hardly seem to notice. "Please only if-" you moan, and Yoongi shoots Hoseok a winning grin, still working behind you. Starting up his pace again. He doesn’t pull out all the way but pushes in a bit deeper. grinding against the spongey sofness, the place that namjoon reaches and fucks, turned sensitive from so many knottings.

"Only if you-" Yoongi doesn't let you continue, hitching up your hip showing Hobi where both of you meet. Showing Hobi how he’s fucking you.

Hoseok shuffles close as if it's even a question of whether he wants this still. You should be able to tell by his scent alone. His eyes stay locked to the space that Yoongi has made in you. You and Yoongi, his best friend and his sort of soulmate.

Hoseok’s knees brush Yoongi’s and your feet press to his stomach until he takes you by the ankles and puts your legs on either side of him. Fumbling to get his cock out, to kiss the inside of your knee as he looks down, muscles straining biting his lip. It's frantic but it's loving all of it.

Hoseok watches you as he guides his cock close.

Yoongi feels velvety and soaked against Hoseok’s head. Wet and slick and so fucking hot to press up into that seam where you close around him. The head of Hobi’s cock nudges against Yoongi’s knot before he starts to press inside.

Hoseok is dimly aware of Yoongi inhaling jagged, pressing you just a little closer against him. Your head falls back against Yoongi’s shoulder, mouth open, hand suddenly fisting in Hobi's red t-shirt, not pushing him away, pulling him closer.

“Oh, do you like it?” He teases. The way that only Hobi can. Teasing you for how much you want it, how much you need both him and your mate in one hole. he's going to tease you so much for this later- you already know it.

It takes some pressing, some force behind it, and you stop squirming, going rigid. Mouth going wide in an overwhelmed 'oh' without a sound. and suddenly you're not having any thoughts about it at all. You couldn't, there is nothing in you but the feeling of the stretch.

Your scent goes so sweet on the air that across the nest, Namjoon's growl almost goes violent. He and Jin are rocking and rubbing but neither of them pay much attention to each other, too busy watching you.

hobi feels a hot flush of pride down his spine as namjoon gives him an encouraging smile.

Yoongi curses, hands hard around your waist keeping you in place. You're half lying on top of Yoongi half spooning. Hoseok’s hands fist the sheet by Yoongi’s head, and Hoseok puts just a bit more force into it.

You tilt your chin and bite the scent gland at his wrist.

Hobi feels the zing of pain the same moment that he feels a shot of ecstasy as you start to part enough to let the head of his cock in, the space instantly flooded with slick and cum.

He pops inside, warm and thick, sliding past the sensitive skin of Yoongi’s proto knot, sliding up and in alongside Yoongi’s cock. A broken sound somewhere between a whimper and a moan gets forced from your throat and your body goes truly limp, teeth popping as you let go of Hobi's skin. Eyes so wide and open as you stare blankly ahead of you. Breathing heavy.

Hobi knows he'll bruise and that he'll get turned on every time he looks down at it for the next week. knows that the others will tease him for it by pressing against it too.

This is so different from taking Namjoon's cock. You're stretched but almost more because they're both pulsing, both moving independently from you and each other. Stretched so wide, so full. You feel stretched to the breaking point. Fucked dumb already.

And Hobi hasn’t even moved yet.

Yoongi and Hobi are forced close next to each other by how hard you clench down. You hug both of them dribbling squirt out a little pathetically, it gathers around the base of their cocks. They pause a little, breathing heavy. Feeling it, making eye contact over your shoulder.

They’ve done this before- not exactly this but a rendezvous in the record shop years ago back when Hoseok first became a part of the pack. Hobi remembers Yoongi’s big hands, both of their cocks next to each other, the slide of precum slick tangled with one fist to fuck.

Hoseok’s the one who moves first, more used to the feeling of almost knotting than Yoongi. He takes a minute to settle down. His expression is a little stricken, a little panicked, but Hobi doesn’t mind. If Yoongi needs to pop a knot he can and Hobi will just keep fucking you. With his chest pressed to yours, he can feel your heartbeat rabbit fast.

“Fuck- fuck- please- fuck” Yoongi is nearly unintelligible, but Hobi just laughs and keeps going.

With Yoongi against your back, you are dizzy with sensation. Too much is happening. The feeling of your pussy stretched out, the feeling of them sliding across each other and the sound they make is so much. Both of them moving in tandem. Both of them fucking you at once. It burns but it feels so good that you never want it to stop.

This is different, now you clench down around both of them and hiccup, adjusting. Your head lolls to the side, eyes blinking once, twice, then again as you stop crying. Jin coos and moves closer. Namjoon sighs and lets him so that the pack omega can run his hands over your hot cheeks. His skin is cool. So cool against the fire raging inside of you.

“Oh, little pup can’t handle two cocks in her little hole? Too bad honey, you asked for it. Now take it.” Jin is mean when he’s lucid. pulling your head to the side to prod at Yoongi's mating mark.

You clench at that, Yoongi twitches too. Hobi gasps.

Fuck, every time Yoongi moves, Hoseok feels it, every time he twitches, he feels it too. You are so warm and wet inside. Slick flooding the space between them and turning the rub even more heavenly. It won’t be long for any of you.

Hoseok looks down at Yoongi, hair shading his eyes as he works diligently to fuck you. Yoongi grins up at him, looking victorious and his while you stay like that, pliant and spacey, blinking and whimpering, eyes unable to focus on anything. Hobi takes your hand and holds it, pressing you into the bed.

Jin shuffles forward until he's close enough to touch, to feel. Namjoon settles back behind him. His hand reaches over to feel your stomach. The place where both of them are. You don't have a belly bulge- they're not long enough for that. But it still makes you blink and shiver.

There's the tacky rub of one cock against another, the terrible all-consuming tightness of your pussy stretched to the breaking point. Your eyes pupils dilated, resting against Yoongi’s chest, fucked so good that you are boneless. Yeah lolling utterly limp as Jin moves your head from one shoulder to the other. Laughing as he goes. "So good you can't even hold your head up?”

“Good pup? Does that feel good?”

You can't respond, fucked dumb. You can’t clench, you can hardly even cum. Or maybe it’s that you can’t stop cumming. One spike of pleasure blends into the next. your body is so sensitive, everywhere they touch your feels like too much, feels too sensitive.

Yoongi's voice goes rough, "look at me Hobi, look at me, I wanna see it while you fuck her, I wanna see it when you-"

A bead of sweat drips from Hobi's nose onto your shoulder, Yoongi laughs and laps at it. Pausing to nibble at your mating mark. You mewl, and one of Yoongi's hands finds Hobi's. It goes like that both of them fucking you, Hobi holds one of your wrists to keep you steady in a sea of pleasure, Yoongi holding the other.

Hobi's not quite sure who cum's first. Whether it's the feeling of Yoongi's new knot expanding against his that has him coming undone or the way that you tighten around his that has them both spilling inside of you. You squirt again, this time more than you did earlier.

A hot gush against Hobi's stomach and drips down the line of his cock onto Yoongi’s happy trail. But the flood of sticky cum around both of their cocks is so good, so wet that neither of them stops fucking you for long.

You can take it. Their knots rub against each other as they pause, kiss each other, and then you, and then keep fucking you.

Besides you three in the nest, Jin and Namjoon giggle and cuddle close. Namjoon leans close and nibbles at Jin's jaw. Their whispers are not so secret. The pack omega giggles in response. Despite his earlier complaints of soreness, Namjoon is hard and achy against Jin's lower back. The pack alpha shouldn't need to mount Jin again in his heat, but they might just for fun.

Just for fun Jin teases, "Do you think she'll be able to take you and Tae next?"

Namjoon growls and grins, allowing Jin his fantasy. They tilt their heads, peering down at you to see how taught you are around both of them. The bulge faints. You look- you look-

Wrecked. Claimed.

Namjoon can hardly say that he doesn’t think about it. How good it must feel to have one knot pressed against the other. Yoongi and Hobi clearly look like they’re enjoying the feeling. and you're still dripping into the nest too so-

The sound of your purring lulls the whole pack to sleep. Across the nest, Tae, Jungkook, and Jimin all sleep through it. Namjoon knows they’re going to be upset that they missed it, that they’ll probably demand to see a reenactment.

"Would it really hurt to try?" 

~-~

When you wake up on the 4th morning after your heat begins, you are no longer sweating although you do feel disgustingly sticky.

There is laughter going on in the hallway, sweet, the sound of Jimin and Jungkook’s giggles as they roughhouse on the stairs and light streams through the cracked window. Letting in the sweet smell of spring.

Someone is trying to take the blanket that’s on top of you gently, but after a questioning hum on your pack alpha’s part, a hushed whisper comes.

“This one’s covered in slick Joonie. Come on.”

Namjoon is big behind you, pressed along your spine, when you open your mouth, you have that vaguely tacky feeling between your lips that says you've been asleep for many many hours. When he pushes his face into your throat, there’s stubble there.

Huh- icky.

You feel hazy and fucked good, content, no fire permeates your chest, only a little bit of wanting, the usual amount. Your fingers tangle loosely with the fabric in front of you, attached to a chest, and a familiar husky laugh.

When you open your eyes you blink. Yoongi’s looking at you with that same soft fond look in his eyes. Peacefully blinking at you slowly the same way Noodle does.

But you slam them shut. Blushing furiously.

Oh my god, you really let him and Hobi, they both really-

You can’t look at him, can’t open your eyes as you fight down the flush. But neither of them seems to mind your sudden shyness. You feel a hand combing through your hair as you piece through it. Both of them laugh at you.

"Don't get shy on us now."

You feel more lucid than you have in days, is your heat done? Yes, it must be, because Namjoon’s scent does not smell as alluring as it used to. You feel the soreness between your legs. The ache in your whole body. Bone tired. Really- you feel like you could sleep for the next week.

“Ready to join the land of the living pup?” He teases, pressing kisses to your eyelids when you don’t respond and instead shake your heat. the warmth gets guided off of you regardless of your whines. but it’s just Jinnie. Just Jinnie smiling down at you.

“Hobi’s making breakfast.”

You grumble and try to burrow back into the nest unsuccessfully. Jin huffs and gets out of the nest, satisfied that you’re awake and that your heat is finally finally over. They expected yours to last a little longer but still.

Jin holds a soiled blanket out at arm's length. Maybe it's glad that your heat didn't last longer. He's not sure the nest could have handled it and they're already going to have to replace a good number of blankets. Jin's heat has already been over for almost a whole day and he's no longer feeling the exhaustion. No- Jin is wide awake and cannot wait to clean and nest and clean you again until you're sparkly. He's already eyeing your greasy hair with a glint in his eyes. Yoongi holds you firm to his chest like that will keep Jin from removing you.

But Jin sighs, settling his instincts down. It's easy today without the heat clouding his judgment.

“Coffee?”

“Yes please,” Namjoon stresses.

The nest is a little bit less orderly than it was when you first made it, the walls look like they’re about ready to collapse, and it’s not nearly as soft- after having the blankets being torn away from it. You try to squirm away when Yoongi and Namjoon guide you gently into a sitting position but instantly Namjoon’s hands dig into your sides.

You try and roll away.

“No no no, up. You need food.” You roll over onto your tummy, giggling and trying to squirm away.

“No! wanna nest!” Namjoon grabs your ankles and pulls you back and you giggle as he tickles up your thigh. When you open your eyes, Namjoon is looking down at you so tenderly it takes your breath away.

“Missed that.” He whispers. “that sound.”

Your body feels tired but you feel happy. You can tell the shirt you wear has pulled up around your ribcage and Namjoon’s thumb rubs up against your side.

You’re sore and worn, you’ve slept for what must have been more than 10 hours and you have this terrible feeling in your chest achy and needy. Anxiety. Anxiety at leaving the nest.

Your heat is over but your instincts still need settling. Your hand fists around Namjoon’s thigh as you turn over onto your stomach, draped across his lap. Huh, his thighs are so muscly, you understand why Jungkook’s sort of obsessed with them.

Namjoon pets gently over your spine. Letting you knead and manipulate the muscle and fat there. When you peak up at him, he’s raising his eyebrow at you.

“What do you need?”

6 or even 2 months ago you might have struggled to say it. To confess your needs to Namjoon. But now you only ruminate on exactly what it is you need. What will make you feel better?

Yoongi is close folding up some of the bedding on the edge of the nest, sorting through what’s soiled and what isn’t. What needs immediate washing and what can wait until tomorrow.

As long as whatever he brings back still smells like them you think it will still be safe, still be fine. You blink and a second later you realize that of course Yoongi has to take it away. You can’t exactly leave it here all fucked through.

You’ve left more than a few blankets squirt-stained. And you know that if he doesn’t handle them now when Jungkook is out of the nest the other omega might grow a little too attached to them because of how much they smell like you. His…less hygienic nesting habits aside.

You nuzzle into Namjoon's thighs as you watch him. Namjoon waits patiently for you to think through your thoughts.

Namjoon is not hairy, not really, but his hair is just a bit courser on his legs. You feel it, teasing your fingers through it draped over his thighs, hands holding around the meat of them. It’s an oddly childish gesture, an omega stimming. When you turn, you can see his smile out of the corner of your eye.

From the doorway Tae hums, toothbrush in her mouth, pink and sparkly. She’s just passing through to check on you. You flush and look away from her too. Remembering all the times she teased you, her reaction to your chest.

Speaking of that, what the fuck?

Your chest feels heavy just thinking about it. Your nipples feel sensitive just from rubbing against your shirt. You're not exactly surprised because you had heard that could happen but-

You cover your face. Namjoon lets you, recognizing that you're still processing everything that's happened.

Did someone…feed from you while you slept? You think they must have because your chest doesn't feel swollen and achy yet.

She grins when you peek at her like she knows what you’re thinking about.

“You should let us shave your legs Joonie.”

Your pack alpha huffs, and still smiling, says, “You can shave any bit of me you want if it makes you happy baby girl.”

She comes closer and Namjoon sets a hand on her thigh treading dangerously close to the hem of her pink silk robe (the one with the little gold butterflies) feeling her own freshly shaved legs. Her hair does look a little wet. Tae must have just taken a shower.

“You’re always so soft” Tae makes a noise in her throat and you tip your chin, looking up at her. Blinking slow.

Namjoon continues to pet down your spine with one hand on you and the other on her thighs.

Tae leaves to spit and there’s a lump in your throat that maybe has nothing to do with the heat- pre or post and everything to do with this being the first time you’re coming out of it with them. The last few days were- this was- so much. But they handled it so well and really you don’t know why you’re suddenly feeling so overwhelmed now when everything is over.

“I need,” you lick your lips. Thinking through your words before you say them. Namjoon waits, a patient pack alpha. He is endlessly patient especially when his pups are trying to be brave.

“A settling.”

When you tentatively glance back at Namjoon he’s smiling like it's nothing serious. Even though you can feel the hot flush of embarrassment on your cheeks. To ask for more sexual attention after all of that feels like maybe you could be asking for too much but-

It's not really sexual, is it? Intimate sure. But a spanking doesn't need to be sexual to give you what you need.

Namjoon tugs at your shorts- a pair of Hobi's? Jin’s? Boxers that they’d dressed you in. You blush when you think of that- of them guiding pants up your legs when you were prone. Although you’re sure they must have dressed you and undressed you multiple times through your heat.

Namjoon strokes up and down the skin of your behind, your thighs can't separate with your shorts still half on and you rest your face on a pillow, Yoongi tilts your chin up to his, checking, but you just smile at him.

“Gentle,” he asks.

Namjoon raises his eyebrow like he’d never be anything but (maybe he’s rough with you if you asked for it, but gentleness will always be his default). He looks down and laughs when his fingers press into you again. There is a deeper ache under his finger. A bruise?

“A bitemark.” He says when you ask, “probably one of the other pups.”

“Probably Jungkook” Yoongi says. He laughs and you do too.

On the stairs in the hall jungkook calls out. “Hey! I heard that! That one's from Yoongi!” and youdevolve into giggles again. When you peek up at him again Yoongi’s red all the way to his ears.

“Really hyung?” Namjoon teases, but Yoongi throws a pillow at him, it sort of lands on you- but you don’t mind at all as the feathers flutter down around you. Gentle.

The first spank Namjoon lands is that. Gentle.

His big hands hit with more of a thud feeling than a sharp sting. The sound is louder than the actual sensation. It forces a quiet hiccup from your throat. And your hand grips his thigh under your chest, eyes wide. Legs splaying as far as they can,

“There you go pup, let alpha give you what you need.”

Namjoon doesn’t make you count through it, petting over your skin for several seconds after every gentle spank. You’re sighing and going boneless by the last one, and Namjoon pulls up your waistband and lands one final one over the fabric. “There, better?” you nod and let him slip from underneath you and begin to untangle you from the nest.

But still, you’re no less boneless. No less able to stay awake, the spanking might have settled your nesting instincts, but you’re still too tired and too well fucked to move around on your own.  

But that too can be fixed- You demand to be carried to the kitchen and Namjoon happily obliges. There Tae has already picked out your favorite coffee cup, the pink one with the pearlescent flowers even though you’re a little too wobbly to hold onto it properly. It sloshes with decaf coffee as she hands it to you or tries to before she obediently feeds you a sip. The last thing that the pack needs is you getting dehydrated.

She looks gorgeous in another one of her flimsy night dresses, everyone is lounging in their pajamas, you might not even change into normal clothing today because you might not need to.  

Hoseok is there, with his sunny smile and hair- less greasy, drying curly. Wearing your frilly pink apron flipping pancakes and starting on the scrambled eggs, cracking the eggs in one hand, bacon frying, hair half awry.

You don’t say that it’s already noon, that it’s already time for lunch. It’s heat rules. The time doesn’t matter.

He spots you and tosses a grin over his shoulder. You tuck your face into Namjoon’s throat and whine. Namjoon (rather obediently for the pack alpha). Walks you over to him so that you can kiss his cheek. 

“Morning,” Hobi says all husky and rough but smiling. You can feel it pressed to your cheek. Namjoon hums in front of you, the purr-like growl vibrating.

“Wanna shower now or later pup?” You don’t like the idea of being separated from them, and you can tell from the vaguely clean feeling between your legs that you’ve at least been whipped down recently. Your tummy still feels…strange but good. You shake your head petulantly. Arms wrapped loosely around Namjoon’s neck. 

Hoseok turns back to the burner and you realize that he's not wearing anything under your apron besides a tiny tiny pair of boxers.

His body is… a little distracting. You don’t know who it was- you, Jin, or Jungkook who mauled him but Hoseok is bitten up. long scratches line his back all the way down to the little dimples at the base of his spine.

Every available inch of his body from his hips to his throat covered with rings of purple bruises, claiming marks, there’s even one on his knee, one closer to his feet. You sit across Namjoon’s thigh. Watching Hobi over the edge of your cup. Looking away whenever he turns around.

Upstairs, the sound of the shower gurgles and Jin’s shouting makes for some pleasant white noise. Jungkook’s hassling giggle as both of them get in. And your mates brief “yah don’t splash me-”

Who knows what they’re doing, wrestling or fucking or just being them. The omegas left to groom themselves before breakfast. You’ll join them after you’ve gotten a bit of food in your tummy. Tae disappears upstairs when Jin shouts at her for her blow drier.  

Hoseok's whole body is covered with bitemarks and you can sense from the vague soreness in your skin that you- like Hobi- bear the visible burden of their loving. You can’t find it in yourself to mind. You know you smell like them and you like that. 

after your breakfast, they're probably going to make you shower.

You’re so sleepy that you can’t even think about standing for a shower let alone walking. You still can’t really feel your legs beyond a vague hum that says your body has enough energy to move.  You just shift your legs up back and forth, swinging them sideways in Namjoon’s lap, fidgeting.

“You sure you don’t want to drink your coffee? Your water?” Namjoon prods.

“Wanna watch Hobi cook,” you say in answer. 

Yoongi hums, coming down the stairs wearing a dark splatter across his grey shirt as both of them laugh at you. Your blushing face gets tucked along Namjoon’s throat to hide again. Seriously- you're having a hard time looking any of them in the eyes.

Noodle makes an appearance, yowling loudly at you like he’s missed you and is letting you know. He circles your feet and presses up into the arch of your foot. You giggle, ticklish and Namjoon leans, extending a hand to scratch between Noodle's ears in hello. His hiss is only half hearted. Namjoon’s big hands on your waist remain firm so that you don’t slide right out of his lap.

“Didn’t starve with us neglecting you eh Nu?” He says, your feet continue to move fidgety. The backside of your omega zoomies who knows. All of the omegas are bound to get zoomies after so many days cooped up inside.

Who knows, maybe the whole pack will take a walk later, maybe to the beach. All of you will pile into two cars and drive out to the edge of the world and linger there. And you’ll sit in the sand and Hobi will search for more sea treasures. And Jimin will pick dandelions from the seashore, the only flowers really growing this early in spring. And you’ll tie one string around Tae's ring finger and one around yours.

You’ll walk with a happy few feet between all of you, the wide-open space calling to your instincts and settling them under the oncoming weight of spring. The sunshine streaming through the open window leads you to think that it’s warm outside, you’d like to be out there too.

Namjoon and Jin will spend half of the time bickering and kissing but after, there could be pizza or sandwiches or takeout, and maybe once you get home, you’ll eat it all on the floor of the living room after you admit that really- the nest room needs to be entirely disassembled. You’ll go to sleep smelling like sea salt and love. Bodies aching in that good way that lets you know you’ve been loved that day. And you’ll wake to another morning just like this one, where the light is in your eyes but at least it’s yellow and golden.

A fleck of sunlight lingers on Namjoon’s shoulder, and you nuzzle into it.

Behind you, Hobi starts humming a song, it’s not your favorite- but it’s Yoongi’s. His voice is so pretty, deep rough in the morning.

You’ll offer it up as an idea later when your mouth decides it wants to cooperate, pressed against the skin of Namjoon’s neck and shoulder, that space where his collar bones sit.  

Hobi flips the bacon and asks if Yoongi will turn on some music, your mate obliges. From upstairs Tae calls, “Tell the pup she needs to do a facemask with me and Minnie later! And a hair mask! And a-” A loud thud sounds, some grumbling then. “Ew slick does not count as a facemask Jungkook- ew-”

Namjoon’s arms are the safest place in the universe. You can’t help but think that you’d be happy in them forever as you cuddle up on his chest.

“Pup, no sleeping, you have to eat something-” his chides break off as you hum.

“Just a minute Joonie.”

You rest there, listening to the sound of Hobi's humming and Noodle meowing for bits of scrambled eggs as Tae and Jungkook bicker upstairs. Jimin says something to Jin on the stairs and you can hear the sound of them kissing. You can hear it all the way from here.

Yoongi comes close to you and says something soft to Namjoon that you can’t hear as Hobi begins to sing and the oil starts to pop.

You listen to them all and close your eyes against Namjoon’s throat.

~-~

Notes:

I needed to take a bit of a break from writing because i felt like my words were getting a little too repeditive- this probably has alot to do with writing 4 back to back smutt chapters but! in that way i think this chapter feels alot more organic and sweet. and feels a little new to me in terms of wording and writing in a good way, i hope you won't begrudge me when i need to take periodic breaks if i'm capable of giving you something you'll enjoy.

i'm going to ignore the fact that during the bath scene that water is probably SO FILTHY i did not say it in the chapter but they lowkey probably had to drain the water a few times and finger fuck the cum out of the m/c before she got clean. wow it's hot when i say it like that why didn't i write that???

it's a small change but- tae tilting the paper so that yoongi can see better?? when before she would have never let him see??? thats growth baybeee

listen i know the words "little hole" can be a squick for some people but tbh, when it's jinnie saying it and like- another omega my brain kind of malfunctions like a boy alpha saying that? ew ew ew, an omega or a female alpha saying it thought????? 🫦 gonna admit that i love it a bit too much.

ugh i love omega on omega stuff, litterally...if i talked in any more detail over how much i love it i'd have to put it over on my smutt blog.

in my mind when hobi says 'his best friend and his sort of soulmate' he's talking about both of them in each roll like- they're both is best friend and his soulmate. they're the golden trio

honestly i love fucking with clothes on like to me it feels much more intimate than having sex completely nude because it's like "i want you enough even with your clothes on

the end of this chapter was very inspired by that one tweet that goes "oomf fucked me so good i can't even look at him.

the reference to hobi's feet is specifically for one person out there.

so did you guys like it??? the heat chapters??? did it live up to the hype of the whole series? did any parts of it make you cum? let me know in my askbox!!!

[gendrie]

arya only has one chapter in the north, but northern locations are referenced throughout her entire storyline. right from the very beginning all the way thru to her most recently published chapters.

Arya shrugged. "Hold still," she snapped at Nymeria, "I'm not hurting you." Then to Sansa she said, "When we were crossing the Neck, I counted thirty-six flowers I never saw before, and Mycah showed me a lizard-lion." Sansa shuddered. They had been twelve days crossing the Neck, rumbling down a crooked causeway through an endless black bog, and she had hated every moment of it. (Sansa, AGOT)

after they leave winterfell arya has fun on the journey south by exploring the land. the neck is part of the north's territory. the people who live there are northerners (like the reeds; close allies to the starks) so i think its significant that arya actually got out there to see it. she takes an interest in learning about the flora, fauna, and customs.

...but it was Jon Snow she thought of most. She wished somehow they could come to the Wall before Winterfell, so Jon might muss up her hair and call her "little sister." She'd tell him, "I missed you," and he'd say it too at the very same moment, the way they always used to say things together. She would have liked that. She would have liked that better than anything. (Arya, ACOK) "I want to go north, to the Wall. Here, I can pay." She gave him the purse. "The Night's Watch has a castle on the sea." "Eastwatch." The captain spilled out the silver onto his palm and frowned. "Is this all you have?" (Arya, ASOS)

the wall is a location that comes up often in arya's pov. arya wants to visit jon on the wall. desperately. while traveling up the kings road with yoren she poses as a night's watch recruit and they are bound for the wall. arya tries to go there before finding passage to braavos and even once there keeps tabs on the ships hoping she will find one to bring her to eastwatch on the sea so she can be reunited with jon.

She did remember Lord Cerwyn, though. His lands had been close to Winterfell, so he and his son Cley had often visited. (Arya, ACOK)

arya considers the cerwyn lands while imprisoned alongside their lord in harrenhal. he dies before arya has a chance to do anything but it shows her familiarity.

When she got closer, she saw that he was a northman, very tall and thin, huddled in a ragged fur cloak. That was bad. She might have been able to trick a Frey or one of the Brave Companions, but the Dreadfort men had served Roose Bolton their whole life, and they knew him better than she did. If I tell him I am Arya Stark and command him to stand aside . . . No, she dare not. He was a northman, but not a Winterfell man. He belonged to Roose Bolton. (Arya, ACOK)

one of the most forbidding locations in the north is the bolton's fortress. the dreadfort is a dark place and arya knows better than to trust its men. the survivors of the bolton's attack on winterfell are being kept prisoner at the dreadfort too. in conditions like arya experienced in clash.

"Cat." He considered. "Yes. Braavos is full of cats. One more will not be noticed. You are Cat, an orphan of . . ." "King's Landing." She had visited White Harbor with her father twice, but she knew King's Landing better. (Arya, AFFC)

this is one of my fave little details. arya references visiting white harbor with ned. i dont think any other stark child does so i do like to headcanon it was a daddy and daughter trip. arya wouldve met the manderlys on these trips. they're also staunch allies of the starks. wyman lost a son at the red wedding and arya was imprisoned in harrenhal alongside his other son.

"I know where the slaves came from. They were wildlings from Westeros, from a place called Hardhome. An old ruined place, accursed." Old Nan had told her tales of Hardhome, back at Winterfell when she had still been Arya Stark. (Arya, ADWD)

this is a northern location beyond the wall with a mysterious past and an uncertain future. the freefolk have settled there but the conditions are not great. these refugees were taken prisoner by lyseni slavers. the sealord seized the ship, but arya spied on the slavers and informed the faceless men that they intended to go back for more. using this information the iron bank assisted jon snow in an attempted rescue of those who remained at hardhome.

"You are Arya of Winterfell, daughter of the north. You told me you could be strong. You have the wolf blood in you." (Arya, ACOK) Needle was Winterfell's grey walls, and the laughter of its people. (Arya, AFFC)

and, of course, there is winterfell. winterfell is arya's home and a cornerstone of her identity. i think the most touching thing about arya's perspective of winterfell is that it isn't just the starks home, but maester luwin's and old nan's and hodor's and everybody else's too. the smallfolk will always make their home there and arya doesn't just acknowledge that but cherishes it.

[aappleslice]

THEY DON'T KNOW YOU LIKE I DO

[fish-and-forbear]

I think I am doing okay, here.

I wish so many things could have been different. My heart aches for it. But I wouldn't have found my voice, otherwise, nor would I have met so many wonderful people and creatures.

I wish the other one would worry less. It's very silly to realize he thought I was the panicked one... now I've organized my mind and honed my edge, and he's the one who keeps feeling down...

I don't entirely understand why... life is very good. Everyone is getting a little better. It aches because I can feel it like a physical creature clawing in the skull, and whispering all of the misery in this world, the atrocities, the tragedies, the possibilities of so many things ending, or of getting hurt or worse for who he is. And being afraid for the people he cares about...

But that doesn't help us sleep right now. It doesn't change that tomorrow morning the sun will rise and we don't have work and we could do anything, within reason of course.

I'm not sure. Maybe I am the stupid one for being so positive. But one of us has to be, now.

Maybe it's just my instincts waking up again. It's so easy to throw my aching heart and memories away when someone I care about needs me. And right now, once more, we just need to rest.

Nothing bad is even happening! We had a nice day. We talked to friends, we played a game and lost track of time because it was so much fun. I liked that game and the name is appropriate, Loop Hero. Ironic but fitting! We helped a friend feel better after a nightmare. And now it's OUR turn to rest.

Nothing is wrong. Everything is alright. Many big steps forward this coming week. I feel his worry creeping into my heart too, but there's no need for it. We were brave and confident before, we can be that way again. :)

- Grist

[kzrosa-writes]

NSFW BELOW — MDNI

— “p-please– no more!” you would beg, your desperate moans muffled against a pillow. his tip glistening with your arousal and countless orgasms circled and teased your entrance, gently pressing into your tight hole before he pulled it out. you let out a shaky breath, suppressing a whine. he was so cruel, so so cruel to your poor pussy. your mind was hazy and blurry, only filled with thoughts of how well he fucked you. you couldn’t even keep count of how many times he had made you cum in the past hour.

“c’mon, darling… you can handle one more, can’t you?” he would coo as he continued to tease and rub your clit with his tip. gently pressing it into your aching hole before pulling it out, your pussy clenching around him in a desperate attempt to keep him inside. “even your sweet pussy wants me to stay inside of you, love.”

it was the same thing every damn time — promising you that it’ll be the last one, making you cum all over his cock, teasing your clit, and the cycle repeats. you’re surprised just how well you’re taking it, but it seemed like he knew your body better than you did. 

giving him a silent nod of approval, he proceeded to slide fully into you without warning, eliciting a sharp moan from you. you clutched tightly onto the sheets, your belly pressed against the soft plush of the mattress as he continued to fuck you roughly from behind. your moans and gasps were partially muffled against a pillow, drool pooling around the corner of your parted lips. no matter how much he teased you, you could never stay upset at him. not when he has his hard cock pounding into you as an apology. 

thrusting roughly and fervently into you, he slid his hand in between your thighs to rub your swollen clit. you could feel his length pulsating inside of you with each thrust, throbbing and aching for release. soon enough, you felt that familiar knot in your stomach as he brought you closer and closer to your climax. you couldn’t tell which felt better — his sloppy and desperate thrusts or his slender fingers rubbing frantically against your aching bud. 

with a final snap of his hips, you felt your walls of pleasure crash down for the nth time tonight. letting out a whiny moan, you came all over his cock and your thighs, your release soaking the sheets once again. not long after, he came too, filling you up with his familiar warm and sticky cum. the hand playing with your clit brushed against the wet, dripping mess between your thighs, pulling it away before licking his fingers. he savoured your delicious taste, a sweet reward he had earned from making you cum. 

he pushed himself off of you before carefully helping you to sit down on his lap. brushing his thumb against your bottom lip, he gave you a soft, tender kiss, a huge contrast to the rough, berserk fuck he just gave you. he pulled you closer to his chest, holding you in his arms as the two of you basked in the afterglow of your release. leaning closer to you, he whispered those same damn words into your ear.

“think you can handle another one, sweetheart?”

childe, dottore, wriothesley, pantalone, neuvillette, kaeya, zhongli, diluc, scara, kinich, ayato, alhaitham + your faves !! ♡

♡ masterlist ・ navi ・ request rules —

[keets-writing-corner]

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

[tender-rosiey]

“GOOD! NOW PUNCH HIS FACE!”

— when your baby and gojo, geto, nanami, toji, and sukuna get protective over you (f!reader)

a/n: I am alive!! as an apology here is a multi-character post 🙏 btw in toji's part, you're megumi's mom

GOJO SATORU:

two peas in a pod, twins, copies: these are all things people have called your husband and son.

honestly, they’re not wrong. your son has his father’s looks—satoru swears he has your nose and ears but anyway—and he carries the same protectiveness and love he holds for you, if not amplified.

you can’t count on one hand the amount of times the house has been turned upside down because of their fights for a cuddle session with you.

of course, you have always tried suggesting them simply sharing you, but these problem children would rather eat raw zucchini than ever share the cuddle time.

so while your son is barely six, you can still count on him to team up with satoru against anyone who wrongs you in anyway like what’s happening right now for example.

you’re out with your lovely family to buy some groceries, and since they both were whining about getting some sweets, you allowed them to go and snatch a couple from the next aisle.

on the other hand, you stayed to look for another type of detergent to clean the floor—especially since satoru got this new type of paint for s/n and it’s quite an endeavor to remove it with a regular detergent.

however, being in the cleaning supplies section never guaranteed the lack of filthy men who can’t take no for an answer. this one man approaches you, smug grin on his face as he leans on the wall, “what’s a pretty lady like you doing alone?”

“buying groceries like a normal person; now please leave me alone.”

he quickly frowns, “don’t be so stingy doll,” his hand extends towards your arm, “I can show you a good time; I promise—“

the man is swiftly smacked with an egg on his face, and he is left with the egg dripping down his face, “what’s your wrong with your kid, man?!” he yells at the person behind you.

he then grumbles, “ruined a potential good night.”

“my kid was absolutely right in what he did,” you hear satoru’s voice. you then feel a hand on your shoulder, and you’re pulled into a chest you’re all too familiar with, “’toru—“

your husband shoots a small smile your way, pressing a quick kiss to your lips, before looking at his son, “that last throw was very good, s/n! throw another one but just below his stomach."

a cheshire cat-like grin is plastered on your husband’s face as s/n prepares to launch another egg at the man.

there is a very evident scowl on your son’s face as he yells, “don’t you ever bother mama again, you stinky bum crumb!”

the man gasps and tries to make a run for it, but your son wouldn’t be the son of gojo satoru if he doesn’t manage to land the hit exactly where he wants.

the man quickly crumbles to the ground screaming and alerting literally everyone in the store.

so satoru picks both you and s/n and makes a run for it.

you hold tightly onto him, “wait, ‘toru, the groceries!”

“we can always order! saving my princess and son is more important!”

your son grumbles, “but I want to hit the rude man!”

“me too, champ, but—“ satoru sweat-drops and glances behind him, “I doubt the angry security guards would like that!”

GETO SUGURU:

your twin girls are one of the sassiest to exist.

in a way, they take after their father who is also pretty sassy but very low-key.

the sass of all three combined is terrible to be the victim of. luckily for you, they don’t dare direct their triple ray towards you, especially—in any argument—at least one will try to win you over.

if it’s suguru trying to stay on your good side, then he is hugging you from behind, pressing feather-like kisses on your shoulder and whispering about how sweet you are. if it’s the girls, then they cling to your legs and keep yelling about how much they love you.

so it is safe to say that you have a small squad to protect you from any potential “danger”.

“oh my, dear shouldn’t you focus on refining yourself a bit more?” you hear a woman say beside you.

you turn towards her, offended, “excuse me?”

“I mean,” her eyes scan you, disapprovingly, “you look average at best, and with that you won’t be able to find yourself a husband, let alone have children.”

you’re still processing her audacity as she continues, “but then again, it’s probably for the better that you don’t have children; you can barely take care of yourself.”

“can I help you?” your husband says as he approaches the woman.

she smiles condescendingly before chuckling, “I was simply telling this lady to take care of herself more; she hardly looks presentable.”

geto’s smiles tenses up as he is about to give the woman a calm peace of his mind, but his daughters beat him to it.

your older twin stands in front of the woman, scanning her with pure disgust in her eyes.

she grimaces and voices out her thoughts, “you are like a crunchy lizard.”

the woman gasps, “how dare you—!”

you cut off the woman, curious about your daughter’s conclusion, “why a crunchy lizard, sweetheart?”

your daughter looks at you with a small frown, shaking her head, “a crunchy lizard is an ugly sad lizard.”

a snort escapes your husband, and you’re barely able to contain your smile.

your other daughter follows up, looking at her twin sister, “the lady looks like that one green thingy we saw yesterday,” she taps her little foot, trying to remember and beams at the woman, “shrek! you look like shrek!”

then they both glare at her, frowning, “you’re a monkey!”

your husband doesn’t let it go as he deals the final—subtle—blow, “come on now girls; we shouldn’t bully the lady with the mcdonald’s like hairline anymore.”

it seems like the woman can’t take it anymore as she starts sobbing and running to the hills.

a moment of silence is shared across the four of you, before you carry both of your girls in your arms and start tickling them, “I don’t know whether to be proud of you or scold you, little evil girls!”

they squeal, trying to escape your hold and calling for their father.

geto chuckles and wraps his arms around the three of you, “let them have it for tonight, y/n,” he ruffles their hair, “they were brave and defended their mom, after all.”

“yeah, papa is right!”

“yes mama, please!”

you pout then smirk at geto, “well I don’t mind, and since papa is also very proud of you girls, he will buy any toy that you guys want today!”

the color drains from your husband’s face, and he watches motionlessly as his girls latch onto him, screaming about the toys they want.

you giggle at his expression and blow him a kiss. he reluctantly blows you one back, while the girls excitedly pull him towards the toy store.

NANAMI KENTO:

you and your husband were blessed with the sweetest girl as your daughter, and she was just recently joined by another sweet girl.

you can never forget the happiness on your daughter’s face when she saw her baby sister.

it also seems that no matter how many times you give birth, your husband can’t help but get emotional when he holds your baby. his hands are forever delicate as he cradles her to his chest.

you remember what he said during the birth of your first daughter.

“I feel like a piece of heaven has been plucked and placed in my arms.”

the way he always goes soft for the three of you is honestly adorable.

today, you were going on an outing with your—now 6 months old—baby and your older daughter who is almost six.

your husband never brags about his muscular form, but he never misses a chance to carry the baby or the baby supplies.

you have offered to at least carry the bag, but he always refuses, stating that ‘you already carried the baby for nine entire months in your belly; this is the least I can do.’

so yeah, sometimes you wish to smooch your husband till forever, but that’s not the point.

you’re walking hand in hand with your daughter as she sings her favorite song. you hear someone click their tongue, so you look to the side and lock eyes with an old lady. she takes the opportunity and approaches you.

“you should be ashamed of yourself!” she yells pointing at you, “your husband shouldn’t be carrying the baby supplies nor the baby itself for the matter,” she scowls, “that’s your job!”

“with all due respect ma’am, but that isn’t her job, and taking care of the baby should be something we are both responsible for.”

“yeah!” your daughter huffs, “and don’t take out your sad life on my mama!”

your eyes widen as you stare at your daughter.

on the other side, your husband is just as speechless. your daughter pays no one any mind as she continues, “mama works hard every day! you wouldn’t know that! you immature nugget!”

nanami frowns lightly, “d/n, that’s not nice—“

and for the cherry on top, your baby daughter throws the bottle cap she was playing with at the old lady, and frowns at her.

she starts babbling some nonsense that you're pretty sure are curse words in baby language.

having had enough, the old lady huffs, “the utter disrespect,” and starts walking away.

the rest of the spectators’ eyes follow her till she is out of sight. finally then, people start minding their own business, and you and your little family are left to the aftermath.

you giggle, “that was funny.”

“really?!” your daughter beams.

nanami cuts her off, “no,” he then looks at you with a small frown, a sigh escaping his lips, “y/n don’t encourage them—“

your baby daughter screams happily when she sees her sister smile. she starts kicking her feet with the biggest smile on her own face.

your older daughter starts laughing with her and tries to make her little sister laugh more—she was successful.

meanwhile, you chuckle, leaning on your husband��s shoulder, “admit it, kento; it was kind of funny.”

his resolve softens at the sound of laughter from all three of his girls, “okay, maybe a little, but—“

“yay!!”

ladies: 1

kento: 0

FUSHIGURO TOJI:

your husband and son are so alike, save for the part that your husband is a bit more shameless, and your son is more on the shy side.

however, they both have the same bluntness and the tendency to give anyone who they don’t like attitude.

for example, today, you were walking in the park with the both of them to unwind a bit.

not to mention that megumi wanted to walk his dogs which was a plus, since you would be able to watch your dear son play around with them.

it was all going great until you saw an old ‘friend’ who came running at the sight of you. he was someone who has always been way too touchy and in your personal bubble.

you have tried talking to him about it, but you’re confident that he does it to somehow force you into reciprocating the intimacy.

even if you’re a married woman with a freaking kid.

he giddily clasps your hand, “y/n, ‘been a long time!”

“h-hey,” you smile awkwardly.

he laughs, “I was passing by when I saw your figure, and I couldn’t help but come and say hi.”

you nod, “that’s great, but I am busy, so maybe later?—“

“you’ve gotten even prettier!” he exclaims, “I wish you would finally take me out on a—“

“can’t you see that she is uncomfortable?” your son retorts, “also, you should step back; you shouldn’t touch someone like this without asking them.”

megumi squeezes himself between the both you and glares at the man.

the guy was about to reply to your son, but toji pushes him back with ease, pulling you beside him and hand resting on your waist almost by instinct, “kid is right,” he tilts his head a bit, “ever been taught manners or do I have to do the teaching for you?”

the guy is taken back; offended, he snaps “you can’t speak to me like that!”

“and you can’t hold my mom’s hands like that, but here we are,” your son cleverly sasses him.

on the other hand, your—shameless—husband pulls you into one scandalous kiss and smirks at the guy when he pulls back, “and you can’t hit on a married woman, by the way.”

you hear your son gag in disgust at his dad’s actions, but you’re too busy burying your face in your husband’s chest, hoping that the guy disappears before toji makes even more of a bigger scene.

you also hope that the ground would swallow you, but that’s the alternative option.

the guy clutches his fist, before walking away, spewing insults at the sky—since he is too scared to cuss out your buff husband. once the man is out of sight, toji ruffles megumi’s hair, chuckling, “good job, kid.”

your shy bean’s cheeks redden slightly as he looks away, “…thanks.”

you’re still thinking about what just happened when you slap your husband’s chest, “toji, literally why?” you grumble, patting megumi who started holding onto your leg the moment you hugged toji.

“why not,” your husband shrugs with a small smile, taking pride in your flustered form.

“dad, I want ice cream.”

“no, you just want me to let go your mom, so you can hog her for yourself,” toji grumbles, staring down at megumi.

unfaltering, megumi looks up at him ,“dad, I want ice cream.”

“god damn it, listen here you—“

“divine dogs.”

RYOMEN SUKUNA:

there is no denying that both your son and your husband care for you very much, and they both—very aggressively—compete for your attention.

I am talking he literally throws the kid across the room kind of aggressive, and your son, in turn, throws whatever he has at him.

it’s eventful, but you would be lying if you said that it wasn’t one of the reasons why you will get grey hair earlier than everyone else.

so their very aggressive nature is also shown in their protectiveness over you.

a person doesn’t need to insult or even dare flirt with you for your devil duo to make their life a living hell; your husband and son don’t tolerate someone speaking to you if it causes you to ignore both of them.

for example, this one new servant was clueless to where the broom is, and unluckily for him, he saw you sitting with your husband and son in the gardens. he humbly approached you, “excuse me, m’lady.”

you turn to look at him with a smile, “yes?”

he clears throat, a bit flustered by the attention, “I—I wanted to ask where the—“

“up your ass, you disgusting fiend,” your son sneers followed by his father’s ever-permanent scowl.

“who gave you the permission to come and speak to her so casually?” sukuna presses, and the servant quickly falls to his knees.

“m-my apologies, my lord! I did not mean to disturb you!”

sukuna crosses his arms, “well, you did, and you also disturbed your queen and prince,” his eyes narrow at the servant, “what do you have to say for yourself?”

meanwhile, you’re watching all of that, mouth agape and trying to articulate anything to save the poor guy. you finally find your voice, “sukuna, it’s okay; he didn’t mean—“

your son hugs you tightly and glares at the servant, “to think he would so brazenly speak to you like you’re old friends is terrible, mother.”

you can almost see your son’s cursed energy flaring, and you can spot the small smirk on your husband’s face as he watches his son.

before it escalates any further and you find yet another dead corpse in your palace, you pick up your son, kissing his cheek which makes him flustered and causing him to bury his face in your neck.

you look at the servant, “you’re dismissed, and you can ask the head maid about anything you need, okay?”

“y-yes, m’lady!” he, however, stays glued to the ground, “may I have the permission to lift my head?”

sukuna grunts, “sure.”

“thank you, m’lord,” the servant says, before scurrying towards the gate, having secured his freedom after his little mistake.

or at least, that’s what he thought.

your husband slices his legs off with a flick of a finger, and your son, who has inherited his father’s technique, slices the head off.

and so the body falls to the ground, and the other servants hurriedly start cleaning up the mess.

you frown at your husband, “sukuna! he apologized!”

he rolls his eyes, and pulls you by the waist, “do I look like I care? he shouldn’t have interrupted our time together.”

“aww, you’re jealous!”

“no, I am not—“

“hands off, old man!”

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copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[froggiequarium]

1.4k words nsfw; thigh riding w colonel caleb bc a friend of mine couldn't get it out of their head n now its in mine this is dedicated to my dear mely <3

-

something about the way you were acting today made caleb's eye twitch repeatedly.

he's not sure why you woke up today in such a mischievous mood, prompting you to tease him and press every one of his buttons all day long.

he was accustomed to this, in a way, but honestly at the end of the day—

he could only take so much.

he gave you a warning, one that held promise should you keep up your mischief.

"behave. don't make me say it again."

in response, you only gave a playful smile, nodding along to his words with clear intention of not following them.

caleb only chuckled to himself, mind already swimming with how he would deal with his disobedient adjutant later.

-

the colonel wasted no time, door just barely clicking shut before dragging you towards the sofa and plopping down on the cushions man-spread, tugging you down with him. your arms instinctively reach out for the first thing— in this case, his broad chest— to steady yourself while landing right on his lap, straddling one of his muscled thighs.

"it seems my adjutant decided to step out of line today. care to explain yourself?"

the tone he's using is the one he uses to command the fleet and speak to fellow crew members, dripping with authority and a show of his status. it makes your whole body hot having it directed solely towards you.

despite the sound of his voice sending arousal straight to your core, shiver running up your spine at the cold gaze he's giving you, a sly grin creeps its way onto your face as you trail your fingers up his torso.

"someone was so busy today, don't you think?"

your voice is as light as your touch. you peek up at him through your lashes, holding his gaze for just a moment before your eyes are back to following your movements.

truly, it was really something else when you got to see him act in his authority, and you wanted to see how much patience he'd learned to exercise after taking such a high-ranking position in the fleet.

a ghost of a smirk curls at the edges of his lips, and it takes everything in caleb to not shiver at your familiar touch, wanting nothing more than to flip you over and discipline his little adjutant right here on his living room sofa.

your faint touch is slow and teasing as you glide your fingertips towards his chest, voice dropping to something a little more sultry if not to highlight your underlying need.

"what are you going to do about it, colonel?"

the way you drag out his title so daringly gets him going, his gaze darkening in an instant at the tone of your voice and the cheeky look in your eyes.

you stretch your hands out fully, sliding them from his slightly-heaving chest and slowly upwards to plant them onto his broad shoulders.

without warning, his large hands are planted onto your hips. you have no time to process his hold on you before letting out an involuntary moan at the way he flexes his thigh, hands dragging your hips forward then quickly back at the same time.

"show some respect to the farspace fleet's colonel."

you shivered, body buzzing with excitement and arousal, feeling your panties getting wetter by the second under the skirt of your adjutant uniform.

you wait for just a moment, wondering if he'll do it again, wondering if he'll help you or go further when he speaks up again.

"what are you waiting for, adjutant?"

letting out a huff at the realization that he was going to watch you use him without helping, you grip his shoulders firmly as you begin rocking your hips back and forth on his strong thigh, chasing the momentary pleasure he'd granted to you just moments ago.

caleb watches as you desperately chase that high, hard-on bulging from his slacks the more you move back and forth, panting and whining for your release.

minutes pass and you can feel it, its so close, you're right on the brink, but you can't get there alone.

"caleb..."

"close already?" he almost sneers at you, tone between teasing and mocking.

"please... hah... wanna cum!"

you feel him grip your hips again, firmer this time, and relief fills your system at receiving his help again—

only to feel yourself stop completely in your place.

you let out a long whine, unable to move and satisfaction escaping your body in seconds as you realize:

he's holding you in place with his evol.

"hah, caleb!"

he was so cruel, you think, trying your best to spare him a glare, but appearing more desperate if anything after having your pleasure ripped completely away from you.

"don't give me that look. you asked for this, didn't you?"

his grip on your hips tightens, sure to leave bruises even through the fabric that covers them.

"do you think you really deserve it after your behavior today?"

he's stopped using his evol, but his hold is enough to keep you in place and do as he pleases with your body.

you moan at the sudden flexing of his thigh, fingers wrinkling the fabric of his uniform shirt from their grip.

"please..."

"you'll cum when i say you can."

his voice holds finality in its authority, leaving no room for argument as he begins dragging you back and forth over his thigh again, manipulating your pleasure and the pace at which you reach it.

but after a couple minutes of this you quickly grow impatient, already needy from chasing your previous high and wanting nothing more than to reach that peak again.

"faster... please, caleb—"

"disobeying again?" he questions curtly, slowing the drag of your hips as he speaks his next words.

"would you like me to stop?"

your eyes widen at the mere suggestion.

"no! no— i'm sorry.."

"sorry, what?"

"i'm sorry.... colonel."

"good girl."

at this, he decides to reward you, your body filling with pleasure at the increased pace caleb begins pushing and pulling your hips over his thigh while repeatedly flexing it.

"caleb.... caleb—!"

you're a panting mess, gaining some control and dragging your clothed heat over the slacks of his crisp uniform in time with his movements, feeling yourself finally begin to reach that high once more.

"close, i'm so close-"

"yeah? you wanna cum?" caleb pants, slowly beginning to losing his composure.

"please!"

he lets out a groan at your begging, watching your face contort into pleasure and desperation, waiting for him to tell you to let go.

a smirk tugs at his lips.

how pliant and obedient you get for him when he has you like this... he doesn't think he can ever get enough.

at yet another sound of your pretty whines filling the room, he concedes.

"cum for your colonel."

at his command, you let go with a drawn-out moan, soaking the pant leg of caleb's uniform, hips repeatedly rocking before slowing their movements as you ride out your high.

the man under you isn't faring any better, the wet patch through his slacks where his hard-on is still bulging clearly evident: the result of how much of an effect you have on him.

you've stopped moving now, seated on his lap while catching your breath, sparing a glance up at him. he really was beautiful like this.

figuring you both are done, you begin sliding your hands from their place on his shoulders when your wrists are suddenly held in place before you, startling you.

"ca-"

in a split second, you're flipped onto your back on the couch, surprised eyes wide and gazing up into caleb's dark-purple ones as he hovers over you, pinning your hands above your head with one of his gloved ones.

"did you think we were done? that you could just take what you want and leave?"

you swallow hard, eyes glued to his, breath hitching at the same tone.

"i'm not done with you yet," his voice is dark, need for you seeping through the cracks of his desire.

you glance down at the obvious bulge in his pants and subconsciously lick your lips at the sight.

he smirks at the action, free hand trailing down your body before pushing your ruined panties aside and, without warning, slipping two gloved fingers into your still-sensitive yet welcoming heat.

"a-ah— hah, caleb!"

"—so stay here and take it like a good girl."

with that, he swallows your moans in a hot, searing kiss to your lips.

it seems you might be in this spot for the whole night.

-

a/n: edited but also i have an eyepatch on (sensitive eye from earlier migraine) so if theres any typos blame that....

-

[lynxgriffin]

Eldritchrune - Chaos, Chaos

1 | 2

Story Setup Eldritchrune Masterpost

The Fun Gang arrives just in the nick of time for Kris, and with that added strength, Kris is able to overcome Jevil and get their reward. But there's still some questions left unanswered...

Aaaand here's the final part for the Jevil boss battle! Feels good to finally get this comic done, considering how long it took to get out! Work on others is still continuing in the meanwhile, but thanks so much for checking out this crazy secret boss battle scene!!

Alt text for this comic is under the read more:

Page 1

Panel 1 - Back outside the gyre, Kris rematerializes with a quick POP just below where Ralsei is standing. They land hard on their back, but they’re alive and whole again. 

Panel 2 - Wider shot of Kris, Ralsei and Susie, now together again. Kris trembles and breathes heavily, curled up on a ball, while Ralsei hovers over them, and says “Thank goodness, I got here in time!” Susie looks on, snarling at the danger before them.

Panel 3 - Wide panel as the Fun Gang face down the enormous Jevil, who is continuing to spin around and around the bottomless pit. “The hell is THAT thing?!” Susie asks, her long hair blowing towards the gyre. 

“A bound god! This must have been what Seam mentioned to you…” Ralsei says to Kris, who is still curled up beneath him.

Panel 4 - “But I’m not familiar with how to subdue this god!” Ralsei finishes, still hovering over Kris. Kris keeps staring back at Jevil, taking quick and shallow breaths as they try to grasp being alive again. 

Panel 5 - Jevil continues to spin around wildly, and responds to Ralsei, “DEMON PRINCE, SEE, SEE? HOW THINGS TRULY BE OUTSIDE YOUR BOOKS, YOUR RULES!”

Page 2

Panel 1 - Kris manages to get back onto their feet, although they’re still trembling, and gripping at their shoulder where they just recently lost the arm. “I-if I can just reach the c-center…” they say, trying to get their strength back.

Ralsei works to steady Kris as they stand. “Courage, Kris! We’re here with you now!”

Panel 2 - Kris again faces down the spinning god, which grins back at them in anticipation.

Panel 3 - Closeup on Kris as determination sets into their face. They have an idea of what to do.

Panel 4 - Susie leans down, and Kris climbs up onto her back using her hair.

Panel 5 - Once situated on Susie, they raise their sword towards Jevil and give her the ACT command. Susie looks on, snarling and ready.

Panel 6 - Wider shot as Susie begins to carefully slide in closer to the spinning Jevil. The whirlwind is pulling them both in closer again. Ralsei stands by, watching cautiously.

Page 3

Panel 1 - The panels of the page curl around into a whirlwind movement as Susie and Kris slide in closer to Jevil.

Panel 2 - As Susie is almost up against Jevil’s orbit, she opens her jaws wide, revealing sharp teeth–

Panel 3 - And then snaps them down hard onto one of the large bone fingers as it spins by. She doesn’t bite through, but hangs on to the bone by her teeth.

Panel 4 - An overhead view as Susie and Kris are pulled along the edge of the whirlwind, with Susie hanging on by her teeth. However, they are now matching the speed that Jevil is spinning at.

Panel 5 - From Susie’s back, Kris now has a clear view of Jevil’s head at the center of the gyre. They ready their sword…

Panel 6 - Kris rears back, gripping the sword tight, clearly worried that something bad will happen again–

Panel 7 - A closeup on Kris’s armored feet as they make the leap from Susie’s back.

Page 4

Panel 1 - Very wide shot as Susie continues to hold on to Jevil’s scythe finger, dragged along his orbit. Jevil himself faces down Kris, who has jumped straight into the gyre, their sword raised to strike–

Panel 2 - Abstract black and white panel as the strike of something sharp hits its mark.

Panel 3 - A wide shot reveals that it is Kris who has struck home this time. They finish the leap across the bottomless pit with sword still in hand. Behind them, Jevil’s head has been severed from his body, and falls into the pit.

Panel 4 - Closeup on Jevil’s severed head as it falls. He doesn’t seem upset at all, but continues to grin wildly, letting out a laugh: “UUHHEE HEE HEEEEE!”

Panel 5 - Wide shot as Jevil’s spinning tent body begins to lose its balance. The spinning slows down, and the enormous hands begin to lose their standing and topple over. Ralsei watches the scene as Kris grips onto part of the tent body, hanging on during the collapse. Strange viscera begins to pour out of the severed neck, filling the pit below.

Panel 6 - Closer on Kris as they continue to hold on tight to the tent skin with one hand, and keep their sword gripped in the other. They watch the scene below them–

Page 5

Panel 1 - Reverse shot as Kris watches from above. Strange viscera pours out of the open wound and fills the pit below them: bones, skulls and entrails, animal heads and limbs, all mixed in with feathers, toys, cards, cake and candy. 

Panel 2 - Closeup as the viscera finishes spilling out, one item comes to land on top of the pile: a strange, dark shard of what looks like black glass.

Panel 3 - Above the mess, Susie continues to grip onto the large bone as the spinning slowly comes to a stop. “Whuzzat fing?!” she asks, her mouth mostly busy holding onto Jevil.

Panel 4 - Closeup as Kris leans down and picks the shard of black glass off the top of the pile.

Panel 5 - Wider shot as Kris stands on top of the junk pile. They examine the glass in their hand carefully. “I’m not sure…”

Panel 6 - Kris looks up from the pile in shock and surprise as Jevil’s voice echoes around them: “WHAT FUN, FUN! SUCH A WONDROUS ROMP, I LOST MY HEAD!”

Panel 7 - Kris turns their head to see Jevil’s severed neck spring to life, and turn towards them. Inside the wound there is only blackness…and a face looking back at them. Just a simple face of pinpoint eyes and many wicked teeth, grinning in the black. “SUCH STRENGTH, LITTLE LOST HUMAN!” Jevil praises them.

Page 6

Panel 1 - Closeup on the new, prickly Jevil face peering at Kris from the black. “PERHAPS ONE DAY, HIS BLACK HAND WILL STRETCH FROM THE PIT AND TOUCH YOUR MIND, TOO!” Jevil says. The many teeth stretch into a grin. “THEN…THEN!...”

Panel 2 - Kris takes a cautious step back, and puts a hand back on their sword. “I’m not interested in any more of your freedoms.”

Panel 3 - Wide shot as Kris moves down the viscera pile, away from the face grinning at them still. They pocket the shard as watch Jevil warily. The face in the black replies, “PITY, PITY! BUT ALL THE BETTER FOR ME, ME! TAKE MY TREASURE, BRING CHAOS TO YOUR LITTLE TOWN, AND I’LL BE FREE!”

Panel 4 - Far outside the circle, Ralsei raises his hands to his mouth and calls out to Kris. “Kris Come on!”

Panel 5 - Kris begins a steady climb out of the pit, with Susie waiting for them above. 

Panel 6 - Wider shot as Kris finishes climbing out of the sand trap, and grips onto Susie’s long hair for support. She grimaces and they climb back onto her shoulders. 

Page 7

Panel 1 - Wider shot as Kris and Susie step away from where Jevil now lays collapsed in the sand pit, completely subdued. “What was THAT all about?” Susie asks. Kris continues to examine the black shard, and says, “I found this strange object. It came out of its body…”

Panel 2 - Downshot on Ralsei as he answers: “Oh Kris, wonderful! This battle wasn’t in vain…you got a shadow crystal!” In the foreground, Kris holds the shadow crystal carefully between their fingers.

Panel 3 - Shot of Kris on Susie’s back as they look warily at the crystal. They ask, “This is what Seam spoke of?” 

Offscreen, Ralsei replies: “Yes! The bound gods of the Dark World carry shadow crystals!”

Panel 4 - Wide shot of the entire Fun Gang as Ralsei continues to explain: “We need as many as you can find…once you combine enough together, you can channel your soul through the crystal to open the Dark Fountain.” Kris continues to study the crystal, while Susie just looks up warily at the open space they’re in.

Page 8

Panel 1 - Kris looks down at Ralsei, and narrows their eyes in slight suspicion. “If I need these, why did you not mention this particular bound god to me?”

Panel 2 - Ralsei holds out his hands to Kris, and gives his explanation: “Well…some of them are more of a mystery to me. Especially when they spring from smaller creatures that have obtained godhood…they are hard to find, and even hard to defeat.”

Panel 3 - “I worry about what effect these gods may have on the state of your mind!” Ralsei finishes, looks up with concern at Kris. Kris watches him from the foreground. 

Panel 4 - Focus on Kris as they flash back to not long ago, when their body was unraveling in Jevil’s gyre. They have a haunted look on their face.

Panel 5 - Closeup on Kris as they finally respond: “I am fine.” However, they hide much of their face, and they do not seem to actually be fine.

Panel 6 - Wider shot as the Fun Gang begins to slowly move away from Jevil. Susie continues to look towards the ceiling, and says, “Ugh, let’s just get out of here! Now we’re probably gonna need a rest before we face King, anyway.” Kris continues to hide their expression. Ralsei says, “Right! Kris, let’s get you out of this gloomy basement!”

Page 9

Panel 1 - Wide shot as the Fun Gang begin to slowly trek back up the sandy hill that Kris slid down in the first place. It’s going to be a long way back up. For a moment, they are silent, with Susie just kicking up sand behind her as she steadily treads uphill.

Panel 2 - Focus on Kris as they glance back at Ralsei, asking something else that has been on their mind. “Ralsei…who is this ‘he’ that the god kept talking about? With black hands?”

Panel 3 - Below Kris, Ralsei waves the question off, looking dismissive. “Oh, it’s clear that that god wasn’t in a sound state of mind…it could have been anyone.”

Panel 4 - Extremely wide panel as the Fun Gang makes their way back up the hill towards the single shaft of light where Kris first fell. All around them is just a thick, empty darkness. However, from the panel borders themselves, something like black fingers stretch out just at the edge of their perception.

“Nothing for you to worry about, Kris,” Ralsei says. 

[incognit0slut]

was i stupid to love you?

in which a lingering glance at Rossi’s wedding threatens your engagement.

content: angst, 4.8k, takes place right after truth or dare (14x15), a lot of dialogue, mention of prison arc, emotional distress, relationship conflict, not proofread a/n: when was the last time you saw me write angst? exactly. this is inspired by malcolm & marie bc i really like the idea of having an argument while moving around the house (also disclaimer i have nothing against JJ i just like being dramatic)

The lock clicks open. The door swings with a creak. Your heels tap against the hardwood in a hollow rhythm that feels almost too loud. There’s a tightness in your chest, that prickling behind your eyes, and a familiar ache pressing up from the pit of your stomach, churning into a faint nausea that you try to ignore. You’re trying to hold it back.

Not here.

Not now.

Spencer doesn’t even look up. The keys slip from his hand with a soft clink as they hit the side table, and he turns away with a quiet sigh that reverberates deep in your bones.

“Are you hungry?” he asks, tossing a glance toward the kitchen. “Think we could order something?”

You trail after him, the sharp click of your heels echoing as you step onto the kitchen tile. “We just came back from a wedding.”

He’s rifling through the cupboard, his fingers brushing over the mismatched mugs and neatly stacked plates before he pulls down two glasses. “I barely ate anything at the reception.”

You watch him, biting back a response as memories flicker to mind. The slice of cake he’d poked at absentmindedly, washing it down with sips of water instead of real food.

It wasn’t hunger he seemed focused on tonight. No, it was his quiet glances across the room you keep on catching from the corner of your eye, and that conversation he’d had at the bar. The one where his posture softened, his gaze so intent you’d found yourself staring at the back of his head, trying not to read too much into it—and obviously failing.

“Why didn’t you eat?”

He shrugs, his back still to you as he fills the glasses with water. “I don’t know,” he says, sounding almost absent, like it’s something he hasn’t really thought about. “I didn’t get around to it, I guess.”

The muscles in your jaw ticks as you bite the inside of your cheeks.

Spencer turns, offering you a glass. “I was thinking of Chinese, or maybe we can check if that Thai place you like is still open.”

You take the glass from him, barely sparing it a glance before setting it back down on the counter. “Whatever you want is fine.”

A subtle crease appears between his brows. “You sure? You usually have some opinion when it comes to food.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You don’t want to eat anything?”

You suppress a sigh. "No. I'm tired."

The soft amber of his eyes dims slightly as he studies you. There's a flicker of uncertainty passing through them before he nods. “Alright,” he concedes. “We don’t have to order anything.”

A faint, humorless laugh escapes you before you can stop it. It tastes bitter, a little unfair, but it slips out before you can pull it back, “You don’t have to change your plans on my account, Spencer.”

“I’m not changing any plans,” he responds. “I’m just making sure you have something to eat in case you’re hungry.”

Your shoes dig uncomfortably into your feet. You shift your weight, starting to pace a few steps back and forth. "It's dinner, you don't have to check on me for every little thing. Do whatever you like."

He blinks, looking genuinely perplexed. "What are you saying? I was trying to be considerate."

"Right. Considerate.”

There’s an unmistakable bite in your tone.

“Yes, because we like doing these things together," he observes, watching your uneasy pacing. "Am I missing something here?”

You shake your head. “Nope.”

"Honey."

The term of endearment lands softly, slipping from his lips like he believes it has the power to melt whatever tension has suddenly crept between you. But it only tightens the knot building in your stomach. It’s stirring the words you’re trying to hold back, tangling them somewhere between your chest and throat.

He calls your name this time, his eyes narrowing into sharp lines. “You’ve been awfully quiet on our way home, and now you’re… honestly, I don’t know why you're acting this way.” His voice dips with a tinge of exasperation. "What’s this really about?"

The words you’ve been biting back feel like a stack of stones in your throat, rising up, up, up, each one pressed tighter by the gnawing nausea in your stomach. You can feel them gathering, and before you know it, they tumble out messily.

“I’m just saying, don’t let me hold you back from getting what you want. I wouldn’t want to stop you from anything—or, god forbid," you add, letting your gaze drift away as if a little distance might soften the blow, “anyone.”

The soft, almost stifled inhale he takes is audible. You don’t even have to look up to see his expression shifting. You’ve known him long enough to recognize the way his shoulders tense, the way his breathing slows as he processes your words. You know his reaction by heart, yet right now, you wonder if saying this was a mistake, if this is the start of something neither of you can take back.

His fingers twitching at his side slip into your line of sight. He's angry.

Maybe this isn’t the time to start a fight.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Your heels click softly as you turn.

“Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything,” you mutter, already moving toward the bedroom that’s been yours, too, for the past year. Although it feels strange tonight, like a space that belongs to someone else. A life you’re not entirely sure you belong in.

“No." His voice is somewhere behind you. “I think you should explain to me what you mean by that.”

You don’t respond, choosing instead to sink onto the edge of the bed, hands fumbling as you try to undo the straps of your heels. You twist the stubborn leather with more force. His shadow fills the doorway.

“Honey.”

Not again.

You decide to ignore him.

“Is there something you’d like to say to me?”

You tug harder at the strap. “No.”

He doesn’t buy it. “You’re clearly bothered by something.”

You shake your head, fingers still fumbling, the leather cutting against your ankle with each pull. “I’m just tired. Can we leave it at that?”

There’s a flicker of frustration in his gaze now, a crease forming between his brows as he studies you. He moves into the room. You barely have the chance to react before he lowers himself, bending one knee to the floor as he reaches toward the strap you’ve been fighting with. “Here, let me—”

“Don’t,” you interrupt, pulling your foot away. “I can do it myself.”

“I know you can. But let me—”

“I can do it myself!”

Your heartbeat thuds loud in your ears, each pulse feeding the frustration that’s wound its way up from your chest. He rises slowly, not a word passing his lips, but the tension radiates off him like heat. He’s close enough that his warmth presses against your skin, although it’s not the kind you usually find comforting. It’s almost suffocating.

You turn your focus back to the stubborn strap, your fingers trembling slightly as you struggle to grip it. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch him slipping off his shoes, one after the other, the soft thuds barely audible over the rush of your own heartbeat. He pulls off his suit jacket, carefully smoothing the crumpled fabric before hanging it in the closet. For a moment, it seems like he’s going to let it go… until his gaze drifts back to you.

You can tell his patience is fraying, and you’re proven right when he asks again, “What did you mean by that? When you said you wouldn’t want to stop me from anyone… what was that supposed to mean?”

You finally manage to tug the strap loose. The heel drops to the floor with a muted thump. “It was nothing.”

“I don’t think you’d say something like that if it was nothing.”

Your focus shifts to the other shoe. “Just drop it, Spencer.”

"How am I supposed to drop it when you're implying... whatever it is you're implying?"

You keep your eyes down, wrestling with the strap in silence. He cuts through the quiet before it has a chance to grow.

“Don’t do that,” he says. “Don’t brush it off like it’s nothing when it clearly means something. I need to know why you said that.”

You kick off the other heel and meet his gaze for the first time since you walked into the room. “You really want to know?”

He reaches for his bow tie, yanking it loose it with one hard pull. “Do I want to know why you’re giving me this attitude right now? Yes. Yes, I do.”

Oh. So this is going to be that kind of fight.

You hadn’t expected it to go here. Fights with Spencer are very rare, usually more a clash of misunderstandings that you both laugh about with limbs tangled between sheets by the time you’ve made peace. But seeing him standing there with the tie hanging loosely around his neck and his five o’clock shadow casting an even darker line along his jaw, it hits you differently.

This is real. And this time, you don’t know if brushing it off will fix anything.

“Fine, let’s talk about it then.” You rise from the bed, tension carrying you to your feet. “Emily’s speech tonight.”

His brow furrows, not quite a scowl, more a cautious crease as he processes your tone. “Emily’s speech? What about it?”

“What do you remember of it?”

There’s a slight pause, and you can tell he's clearly caught off guard by the question. “She mentioned how Rossi and Krystal are twin flames."

“Right. Two souls that are always meant to be together.”

His face is still marked by confusion, but there’s something else creeping in. A subtle tightening around his eyes tells you he’s starting to piece it together. “I don’t understand what that has to do with—”

“You looked at JJ the second Emily made that speech,” you cut him off. “Spencer, you didn’t even spare a glance at your future wife because you were too busy making eyes at the woman who’s apparently been in love with you all these years.”

There. You said it. The words that have twisted around your insides all evening are finally out. And maybe they taste a little bitter, but at least they're not choking you anymore.

A second passes, then another, and by the time the fifth heartbeat ticks by, he’s standing there with his hand on his hip.

“That’s not what happened."

“Then what was it?” you demand. "I sat beside you the whole day, you didn't even try to hide it."

“That’s not—you’re twisting things.” His hand moves through his hair, fingers digging in as his curls tumble forward onto his forehead. “And you know what happened that night wasn’t real. It was a forced confession. She was under duress, we both were. JJ and I are just friends.”

You arch an eyebrow. “You look at all your friends like that?”

His hand drops to his side. "I don't know what else you want me to say. JJ said what she did because she thought we might die. She has a family, and a husband who she loves. We already went through this, I don't understand why this is suddenly an issue again."

“Maybe I wouldn’t be bringing this up if you didn’t look at her tonight like you were ready to break up that marriage yourself.”

A flash of shock and anger crosses his features.

“That’s not fair,” he snaps, his voice sharper than you’ve heard in a while. “Do you really think I’d disregard everything I have with you because of a look? Because of a history that has never gone anywhere?”

“I don’t know what to think. It's not like it happened just once, I saw you looking at her the same way at the bar." You step forward, accidentally kicking your discarded heel as you move. "What were you two talking about, anyway?”

He lets out a tight breath. “She was checking in on me. She… we haven’t talked much since then.”

The corners of your mouth pull down. “Mhm. Another round of truth or dare?”

“I can’t believe you’re using that against me." His hair flops forward as he shakes his head, falling messily over his brow. "If there were anything unresolved with JJ, I would’ve said something. But I didn’t, because there’s nothing there."

“And yet, she’s always been an important part of your life, hasn't she?"

He tilts his head. "What are trying to say now?"

Your tongue darts out, briefly brushing your lips. You're not sure you should say it, but it feels like a door has swung open—a door to words that have been waiting for their moment.

You take a slow, deep breath, filling your lungs with as much air as you can.

“When you were in prison, you put her on your visiting list ahead of almost everyone else. Doesn’t that say something about where she stands with you?”

He exhales sharply, dragging a hand over the back of his neck.

“She’s part of the team,” he says, as if he’s trying to spell out something he’s already explained a dozen times. "There were strict rules, I already told you that only a handful of people were allowed to visit. It wasn’t like I could just put anyone on the list.”

“But you could’ve put me on there!”

The familiar burn of tears prickles at the edges of your eyes, but you blink them back, refusing to let them fall. An explanation or protest is poised on his lips, but you’re already moving, closing the distance with a single, decisive step. A finger lands on his chest.

“I was your girlfriend, Spencer. Were you that determined to keep me out? Was the thought of seeing me really so unbearable? Do you even understand how hard it was to sit at home, knowing you were locked up, feeling completely helpless? Do you have any idea how much I hated myself day after day because I couldn’t do anything to help you?”

Your lips quiver. You feel like your heart is about to leap out of your throat.

“I was out here, just… waiting. Wondering if you were okay, if they were treating you alright, if you even had someone to talk to. And meanwhile, she’s there, with you. Every single time, she’s the one who gets to be by your side.”

Your nail digs into the fabric of his shirt.

“So forgive me if I can’t just let that go. Because when it mattered, it felt like you didn’t want me to be there for you. And now… now I don’t even know if you need me the way you seem to need her.”

Your breathing turns shallow, each inhale catching in your chest. The tears you’ve been holding back are dangerously blurring your vision. You swallow the knot lodged in your throat.

“I need a minute.”

Without another word, you turn and walk out of the room, leaving him standing there in stunned silence. You slip back into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you finally reach for the glass of water that’s been sitting there untouched. You take a sip, barely feeling the cool water on your lips, when you hear his footsteps behind you.

“You think I don’t want you in my life?” he demands. “You think I somehow need her more than I need you?”

You set the glass down. “What part of ‘I need a minute’ do you not understand?”

“You really expect me to wait quietly after you unloaded every doubt you’ve ever had about us?”

You life your chin up. “Yes, I do. I need space to think right now.”

“What more do you want to think about when you’ve already convinced yourself that I’m always going to fall short? Is it so hard to believe that you’re the one I want?”

“You want to know why it’s so damn hard to believe?” You turn towards him. “Because every time I try to let this go, there’s always something. A confession. That—that not-so-subtle look. And when those things happen, it reminds me that I’m not as close to you as she is. I’m fucking tired of feeling like I’m fighting for space in your life.”

“Do you think I want you to feel like that? Do you think I’d go through everything we’ve been through if you didn’t matter to me?”

“Then explain to me why I wasn’t on that list!” you cry out. “Explain to me why, in one of the hardest times of your life, you couldn’t make space for me?”

“Because I was trying to protect you!”

A heavy, dreadful silence falls between you. He takes a step back, his eyelids fluttering shut briefly, and when he opens them again, there’s a softness in his gaze that mirrors the gentleness now threading through his voice.

“I know it probably doesn’t make sense to you, and maybe it never will, but I couldn’t stand the idea of you seeing me like that. Living through it was hard enough, but having you there, seeing me so helpless… It would have crushed me. I didn’t want that to be your memory of me.”

His Adam’s apple dips as he swallows, a quick, almost anxious movement you’ve witnessed countless times.

“And when JJ came to see me,” he continues, “the way the inmates looked at her, the things they said after she left… it was disgusting. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—let that happen to you. I couldn’t live with thought of you being subjected to that because of me.”

You lower your head with a sigh. “I don’t care if they looked. I don’t care what they would’ve thought.”

“But I care,” he fires back, taking a step forward. “Because you mean more to me than anyone. All I wanted was to keep you safe, and maybe I didn't handle it right, maybe I made the wrong call... but it was only because I—" His voice drops into an even more gentle note. "Because I love you."

Your heart stumbles, an uneven beat that feels almost bruised, pounding hard against your ribs.

"I-I love you so much. More than I know how to put into words." The ache in your chest sharpens as his hands come up to cup your cheeks. "I don't like fighting with you. I hate it, actually. I hate seeing you look at me like this."

You also hate the way he’s looking at you. There’s a depth to his annoyingly pretty eyes that makes it impossible to hold up your defenses without feeling them crumble. You let your eyes flutter closed.

“Why don’t we… call it a night?” He suggests. “Let’s lie down. We don’t have to talk about this now.”

The blackness behind your eyelids does little to quiet your mind. Nor does his voice. Or his touch. Instead of offering peace, his presence throws every glance, every moment of tension from tonight into sharper relief.

You draw in a breath, trying to find some comfort in his palms against your cheeks. Yet, even this can’t smooth away the doubt that’s settled in. With a resigned sigh, you release the breath you’ve been holding along with the words that have been pressing at the back of your throat.

“You haven’t explained it to me.”

The shadows in his gaze seem to deepen when you open your eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been going in circles, but you haven’t explained to me what happened tonight,” you say quietly. “Why did you look at her, Spencer?”

His thumb absently strokes your cheek in a way that feels more hesitant than reassuring.

“Be honest with me,” you press. “Was there a part of you, even the tiniest part, that still wanted something with her? Some small part of you that… wondered what it might be like?”

The silence between you presses in from all sides, broken only by the faint hum of the refrigerator and the distant, muffled ticking of a clock on the wall. It’s the kind of quiet that sharpens even the smallest sounds, yet his lack of response feels like the loudest thing of all.

You pull back from him with an incredulous laugh.

“Unbelievable.” The word barely makes it past your lips, then louder as you start to move, pacing the length of the apartment. “Unbelievable.”

“Wait,” he says, trailing after you, “I didn’t even say anything.”

You stop short by the couch and whip around to face him.

“You didn’t need to! You—you hesitated," you stammer, searching his face for any flicker of denial, but it’s there, plain as day, that split-second of doubt you caught. “That was already an answer.”

He inches closer. A hand closes in on you. “Please—”

You flinch, pulling back, and every muscle in your body tightens. “Don’t. Don’t touch me right now.”

His hand falls to his side. “Please… let me explain."

You watch his hand drop, fingers twitching like they’re not sure if they should retreat or reach out again, but he keeps them there, hovering in some invisible line you’ve drawn. He looks at you with those big, pleading eyes, and for a split second, you almost feel bad for him.

Almost.

A bitter sort of smile tugs at the corner of your mouth. "So now you want to explain?"

He takes that as permission, and his voice comes in low, almost cautious. "When I first started at the BAU, I had… maybe a crush. A passing thing, barely anything, really. But that was fourteen years ago.” His hand scrubs through his hair in a frustrated sweep. “Fourteen years."

Your brows pull into a frown. “Why am I only hearing about this now?”

“Because it was nothing,” he says, almost too quickly. “I was young, it didn’t matter. I didn’t think it was worth bringing up.”

“Oh, I get it now. All those old feelings came rushing back the night she confessed, didn’t they?”

He mirrors your frown, a visible line of tension etching itself between his brows as he protests, “It’s nothing like that.”

“Then what is it?” you press. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks a whole lot like you’re caught between us because some part of you is still hung up on what might’ve been with her."

He shifts uncomfortably, and you notice the muscles in his jaw clenching the moment his gaze falters, dipping away for just a heartbeat before he looks back at you.

“It’s not that I don’t know what I want,” he starts to explain. “I didn’t expect her to say those things, and, yes, it threw me off for a moment. But that doesn’t mean I’m looking back, or that I want her. I want you.”

You shake your head, feeling a tired sort of frustration settle over you, and walk over to the couch. The soft cushions give slightly beneath you as you sink down.

“If you really wanted me, this wouldn’t be happening. You wouldn’t have let her get into your head like that. And now, you expect to believe that none of it meant anything?”

He’s quick to follow, closing the distance in a few tense steps. “It’s not—” His hands flex open and close at his sides. “You’re acting like one single look tonight is enough to decide I’m not committed to you. Do you really think I’d let some confession I didn’t even ask for get in the way of what we have?”

“It’s not just about that single look. It’s the way she could say something and suddenly, you’re pulled back to something you swore you’d put behind you. How am I supposed to feel secure when she still has that power over you?”

“And what am I supposed to do, then? Apologize for things I don’t even feel anymore?”

You flinch at the sharpness in his voice. A low, frustrated noise rumbles in his chest when you don’t respond.

“You’re always going to question me no matter what I say, aren’t you?"

You glance over at him, catching the disheveled strands of hair falling over his forehead, and it pulls you back to that night he came home after that dreadful night. He’d walked in looking worn in a way you’d never seen before, his whole posture weighted down as if he was carrying more than just the fear of being held hostage.

You remember sitting with him on this same couch, fingers brushing his, and asking what was bothering him.

JJ said she loved me.

Your heart lurched, a quick, quiet ache that you tried to swallow down. Really?

Don’t worry. It’s not true.

But with that same haunted look in his eyes right now, you can’t help but wonder if it really was just a well-intentioned lie.

“One glance and you’re accusing me of things that are never going to happen,” he starts again. “Do you really think so little of me? After everything we’ve shared, you really think I’d betray you like that?”

In true honesty, you don’t believe he would ever cross that line. But the doubts still linger, fed by those small hesitations, the moments when his eyes seem somewhere else. It’s not that you think he’d betray you. It’s that a part of him might still be holding onto something he won’t let you see.

“It’s like you don’t know me at all.”

Now those words you might actually believe.

“Maybe I don’t,” you say quietly, eyes drifting to the ring on your finger. You twist it absently, remembering the night he proposed. How he’d stumbled over his words, his cheeks flushing as he tried to make the moment perfect but ended up rambling in that endearing, nervous way of his. You’d laughed, reassured him that it was exactly right, that you didn’t need grand gestures. All you needed was him.

And yet, you don’t think he needs you as much you need him.

A hollow ache settles around your hand as you slip the ring off.

“What are you doing?”

You stare down at the gold band in your palm, blinking back the sting of tears.

“Tell me what you’re doing.”

Panic. Desperation. There’s a sudden rush of melancholy in his voice, a heaviness that wasn’t there a moment ago.

You swallow the lump in your throat. “I don’t know,” you whisper. “I—I don’t know anything right now.”

His face crumples, and in a sudden, almost instinctive movement, he drops down to his knees.

“No, no, you do know me. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. Isn’t this—” he stops, then dips his head, trying to catch your gaze. “Isn’t that what couples do? They argue, they mess things up… but they work through it, right? Right?”

You look down, feeling the cool weight of the ring pressing into your skin.

“Spencer…” you begin. “I trust you. I do, and I’m sorry if I made it seem like I didn’t. But… I need to feel secure. I… I need to know that I don’t have to wonder or worry about where I stand. I never thought you’d be the one to make me doubt that.”

There’s a sharp ache in your chest.

“I didn’t think it could hurt this much. Not from you.”

Your pulse ring in your ear.

“I can’t—” The words catch in your throat, a stinging burn rising as you force them out. “I can’t be your wife when I’m constantly questioning if I have all of you. When I feel like… there’s always a part of you that isn’t mine.”

“I’m yours, honey. I’m always yours.”

“I wish I could believe that.”

There’s a slight falter in his voice. “Don’t—please don’t do this—”

“I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t hurt.”

He falls silent, and for a moment, the only sound is the rough, uneven rhythm of both your breaths filling the space between you. Then, like something inside him finally cracks open, he sinks down, pressing his forehead against your lap. The sudden weight of him forces a broken sob from your throat.

“Please,” he begs, fingers clutching at your sides. His chin presses deep into your thigh. “Tell me how to fix this. I can’t— I can’t lose you.”

“Spence…”

“I love you,” he blurts out, the words tumbling from him in a rush. “I love you.”

But what is love, really? Is it just a word people reach for when they’ve run out of things to say, a way to patch over bruised hearts and broken promises? Or should it feel like something more solid, something that doesn’t leave you questioning or aching? You can’t even tell anymore.

You wonder, too, if maybe you’ve been wrong all along. If this feeling in your chest isn’t love but something dressed up as it, something that fills the gaps while slowly hollowing you out. Because here you are, clinging to a love that somehow makes you feel like you’re both needed and unseen. Everything and nothing all at once.

You feel like a fool.

“I want to go to bed.”

His head lifts from your lap, a flash of surprise darting across his face, as though he hadn’t expected you to say anything at all, let alone that. “Yeah, okay, let’s go to bed. We’ll… we’ll figure this out in the morning.”

“I’d rather be alone.”

The words hit him visibly. His mouth opens, an argument forming there, but he catches himself, letting the silence stretch before he nods slowly.

“Then… I’ll stay out here. On the couch,” he offers softly. “Just… in case you need anything.”

A pang cuts through you at the thought of him stretched out on the couch, his legs too long, his shoulders folded in to fit the cramped space. But the idea of sharing a bed right now feels impossible.

You reach down, holding out the ring towards him.

“No,” he says firmly, gently pushing your hand away. “Don’t do that. This… it doesn’t mean we’re giving up. It just means we need time. That’s all.”

You’re not sure if your mind will change in the morning. The ring presses into your skin, but finally, you close your hand around it, nodding faintly before you peel away from him.

The tears start the moment the bedroom door clicks shut behind you. It spills over in a jagged, helpless cry that sounds nothing like you imagined heartbreak might sound. It’s messy, a kind of aching grief that feels too big for your chest, clawing its way out with no grace at all. You can practically hear how pathetic you sound, and yet you can’t seem to stop.

Even when the hem of your dress trails across the floor. Even when you finally collapse onto his side of the bed. There’s no stopping you. With the ring sitting cold in your hand, your tears keep coming, soaking into the pillow as you cling to the last trace of him woven into the sheets.

[rhaeheartzsquirrelz]

Sweet

Sevika x Female Reader

Soft, emotional sex with Sevikidiki where you end up sobbing ‘cause she’s too sweet.

Cw: Sex: fingering, strap on, praise. Soft dom Sevika. Sub Reader.

MEN DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!!!

Proofread || Note: It was so fun writing this, I hope you enjoy :) Also, please ignore any spelling/grammar mistakes, i tried my hardest to keep them out!

Her flesh arm wrapped around your waist and you found yourself pinned against her chest. Her lips latched onto hers as she kissed you with an abundance of care and love. Never was there a moment of roughness, of the slightest bit of pain; being a grip or a pull.

Sevika’s hand slithered down to your shorts, entering from your front and pressing against your clit. She slowly moved, causing your breath to heavy and your heart to spike.

Your bedroom was prepared for a movie night, a night where you and your girlfriend could just cuddle. But, things seemed to escalate. There was a change of plans.

The warm light from your lamp illuminated the room, and your freshly lit candles now made the situation much more romantic. The room smelled heavenly, and so did Sevika’s kissing. She was gentle with how much pressure she applied, not wanting to get too intense. You didn’t mind her softness, matter of fact you actually wanted more of it. She’d taken off her prosthetic in order to cuddle with you better. In order to keep away any sharp metals from you. That was the kind of woman she was; only with you, however.

Her middle teased your entrance, finertip going in before slipping right now. She was testing the waters, seeing if you she’d need lube or not— she didn’t. Tongue slipping out of your mouth, lips unattaching, Sevika pulled back with a heavy breath, her eyes opening and she met yours.

“Can I?” Her voice quieter, slightly shaky. “Yeah, I want you to.” And with your approval, she let her finger, carefully, move in. “Y’want me to add another? You don’t have to.” Her grey eyes watching as your teeth sunk into your bottom lip. “Uh-huh, go ahead.” You, barely able to hold yourself together, nodded. A hand on her cheek with the other on the side of her neck, you hold back a whimper as she added another. It didn’t hurt, no, but it definitely took you a few seconds to get used to. Considering Sevika’s fingers were quite large. “Does it hurt? Tell me to stop if y’need me to, alright?” Her dark lips pressing a kiss on your forehead, letting you know you could say no whenever you wanted to.

She slowly picked up her pace, from slow curls to harder ones, the tips of her fingers found her target and she hit it. You clung to her as she did so, moaning into her shoulder all the while having her kiss your neck. “Is this good, baby?” Her low voice vibrating through you. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s.. good.” Awsome was what you wanted to say. It felt awsome.

Her warm breath brushed against your heated skin, causing you to feel hot. Burning hot. The fast beating of your heart and the heavy breaths you were taking only added to the fire; your body was sweating. And the thought of Seika being in you had your mind giddy, had it working extra hard to make you feel good. And you did. Even in the process of making you cum you felt a sort of high you’d only experience with your girlfriend.

“God, you’re so beautiful like this,” she’d whisper with a suck at your neck, leaving a trail of hickeys. “Don’t stop.. Sev.. that’s so.. fucking good— don’t stop, please!” You’d ramble on, jaw dropping at the familiar pooling in your core. “Y’think I would? I’m offended, love.” Her lips hidden and curled into a smile, she was proud of herself.

Your walls squished against her middle and ring, responding to the experienced curling she was doing inside of you. Your girlfriend even commented; “Feeling good? You’re all tight.” And, yes, it made your face feel hot. How could it not? Her smugness added to the sensation she was, lovingly, providing. It was the way she acknowledged how you reacted that made you whine, made you embarrassed. It even made you further more attracted to her.

“My pretty girl’s so close, I can feel it.” Smothering your neck with hickeys and kisses; only so you’d have a constant reminder of her. “Mm-hm, I am.” Your breathless words causing your woman to fasten her pace. “I can’t.. please! god it’s so good..”

Your hands clenched onto her shoulders as you, yourself, clung onto her. A cry of pleasure escaped your lips and your hips slightly shuddered against her as she helped you ride out your orgasm. Sevika even pulled back to see your face, watch as you came all over her fingers, it was a sight she never truly got used to. It was addictive being able to make her girl so happy.

“Perfect. You were perfect.” Slipping out of you and pulling you close with her wrists; her hand avoiding any contact. “How’d that feel, pretty thing?” Lips pecking yours before she gave you a chance to talk. “Like you said, it was perfect.”

A low humm of acknowledgment came from your girlfriend and she nuzzled into you, forehead resting against your shoulder. “It’s only ten. Can I get the strap?” Know this stuff knocks you out in a few.” She was reffering to the fact that she, herself, could have you asleep faster than any melatonin could. “Sure, but only one round.” You were already exhausted from a little fingering, you doubted you could get through Sevika’s pounding.

At your approval, she quickly grabbed, and slid on, the strap. Clicking the belt in place before plopping down next to you. “What position, ma’am?” Tone all teasing as she had a hand on your arm. “Mm.. I dunno? From the front? That’s the easiest?” She nodded in agreement. “You don’t mind if I have on my mech, do ya?” “Nope.”

From the front was what you got.

Ankles on her shoulders, arms overhead, and your body ready, your girlfriend pressed the tip of her strap to your entrance. Her mech and flesh holding onto your thighs as she slowly, and oh so carefully, pushed inside. Sevika’s strap was thick and long, easily larger than her two fingers— and it took you a while to get used to. “Deep breaths, babe.” Flesh hand pressing down on your lower abdomen, it was her way of making you feel more.

“Trying.” Was your breathless response, head tilted to the side to see the bulge in your skin. Sevika only smiled down at the sight, soaking in the way her strap looked with you wrapped around it. “Convinced every inch of you is beautiful.” The woman leaned forward, holding onto your ankles and slowly beginning to thrust. Your body, as usual, recoiled, and your hands clenched onto the the pillow beneath your clouded head.

Your eyes rolled back as Sevika’s hips rolled deep into you, hitting her target all the while rubbing against your tight walls. She could feel the pressure, the repeated squishing everytime she entered, even the way she had to push hard into you. You were wet, soaked, and it made the job easier. Louder, too. The quiet yet noticeable squelching noises from you filled the room, thanks to your girlfriend.

Not even a few minutes in and you were feeling your stomach pool again. The same heat that would make you feel good formed and you found yourself utterly taken away by the sensation jolting throughout your body. Every part of you enjoyed it.

“Close already?” The woman grunted, wrapping your legs around her hips and deciding to pull you against her chest. “I can’t..” you managed to say, barely able to keep yourself composed. “Sev, I.. fuck— it’s too much,” “need me to stop?” She knew you’d say no, she’d never heard the word leave your mouth. “Don’t.. please, I’m close.”

And she didn’t. Sevika never slowed her pace. Her only goal, at the moment, was to make you cum, all the while feeling loved. She showed so by peppering your forehead with kisses, intertwining her fingers with yours, holding your hands above your head, and whispering soft words in your ear. “You’re doing great, love,” she’d say as she pressed a kiss on the shell of your ear. “Gonna cum for me, hm? Go ahead, baby.” All the while pounding into you. “My girl sounds so pretty, don’t you?” As she lets you burry your face into her shoulder and whimper, moan, as much as you wanted to.

Even though your girlfriend was thrusting hard, she wasn’t being rough. She knew how you needed it, how much you could handle. She’d never push your limits, if that had even crossed her mind. “Vika,” your voice shaky as you sniffle against her skin. Her warmth mixing into yours, her grunts sending a light shiver through you, and her breath tickling your neck. “Is something wrong?” Her pace slowing as she wiped at your wet cheek. “No, don’t stop.. please.” Heart racing in your chest as you said those words. You’d repeated them a thousand times; but they really were true.

“Baby, I’m not.” Sevika, though worried, fastened her pace again and leaned on her arms to get a better look at you. Brows furrowed, eyes lidded and wet, lips parted, with your face heated. As cute as you looked, she had to ask the question. “What’s wrong?” Grey eyes staring deeply into yours. “Later.. I’ll tell.. you later.”

There was nothing wrong, just the fact that you were overwhelmed with the amount of care and love she put in every thrust, every touch. It was adorable and just so sweet that it had you sobbing.

Your orgasm was just as good as the last and, afterwards, Sevika slipped off her strap and decided to cuddle you. “Too much?” She asked, voice quiet and soft, “No, I never said that.” Your face showing your embarrassment. “Then, what? Did I hurt you?” your girlfriend had her prosthetic off again, so her flesh hand did most of the touching. “No, you’re just really nice. That’s all.”

“Nice? I’m really nice?” She repeated, “what does that mean?”

“It means I love you.”

“Oh? That’s.. new.” Her brows raised in surprise. “I love you, too. Even though you cry over stupid things.”

“Those were happy tears—“ “Yeah, alright. You had me worried about happy tears.”

[rafeysbangs]

ꪆৎ𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖↷ ex!bf!rafe sneaks into your room late at night...

warnings ; MDNI !!, ex!bf!rafe, soft!rafe i guess, oral f. receiving, fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, rafe calls reader baby, creampie, aftercare ! yippee

notes ; phew... enjoyyy !

the cool night air swept through your open balcony door, carrying the distant hum of cicadas. you were curled up in bed, trying to focus on the book in your hands, when the faint scrape of shoes against metal made your heart leap.

"rafe?" you whispered harshly, your pulse quickening as his familiar frame hauled itself over the edge of the balcony.

"don’t freak out," he said quickly, holding his hands up as if to calm you. his hair was a mess, his eyes wild, and he looked more desperate than you’d ever seen him.

"are you insane? you can’t be here, especially not at this hour," you hissed, glancing nervously at your door.

but rafe wasn’t listening. he crossed the room in two long strides, his voice cracking as he said, "i had to see you. i can’t- i can’t do this without you."

you folded your arms, trying to stand your ground, even as your chest tightened at the raw edge in his tone. "we broke up, rafe. i broke up with you. and you know why. i can’t keep pretending it doesn’t kill me every time i see you flirting with someone else."

"i wasn’t-" he started, but you cut him off with a sharp look.

"don’t lie to me. i saw you. over and over again. it’s too much, rafe. i couldn’t do it anymore."

his hands raked through his hair, his frustration evident. "it wasn’t what you thought, i swear. i’m... i’m a mess without you, okay? i’ve been losing my mind since you left. no one else matters- no one but you. i’m obsessed with you, and i’ll prove it. i’ll do whatever it takes to make it right."

"rafe," you began, your voice softer now, but he stepped closer, his hands gripping yours like his life depended on it.

"it’ll never happen again. i swear on everything. just... just give me one more chance," he pleaded, his blue eyes locking onto yours, filled with a vulnerability that made your heart ache.

you tried to resist, tried to remind yourself why you ended things, but the way he looked at you, like you were his entire world, made it nearly impossible.

"i don’t know if i can trust you," you said quietly, your voice trembling.

"you can," he said, his voice steady. "i’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you if i have to."

before you could argue further, his lips were on yours, cutting off your words in a kiss so desperate, so full of longing, that it left you breathless. your resolve crumbled as his hands cupped your face, pulling you closer.

the kiss deepened, his lips trailing to your jaw and down your neck as your back hit the bed. he hovered over you, his breath hot against your skin as he murmured your name like a prayer.

your fingers tangled in his hair as his lips travelled down your body, heat pooled in your lower stomach watching him grow closer to the waistband of your tiny pyjama shorts.

he stopped there, slowly littering kisses as he looked up at you, you chewed at your bottom lip as your eyes were stuck on his, "rafe..."

"i'll make you feel good baby... don't worry" he whispered against your skin, sending shivers up your spine. his course fingers connected with your clothed pussy, slowly rubbing circles to make you squirm.

he grinned when he saw you twitch at his touch, your clit aching from the lack of direct contact. as if he could read your body, he pulled your shorts to the side, now faced with soaked panties staring back at him.

rafe sighed gratefully, "you're so soaked already, god you're perfect" he mumbled. his long fingers traced your slit and he chuckled a little to himself before pulling your panties to the side too.

without warning, his mouth connected with your wet cunt, sloppy kisses and flicks of his tongue made your eyes roll back before he slid a finger through your folds again. he tapped at your aching hole before sliding a finger in, watching your face contort as you got used to the welcome intrusion.

you groaned, "god-" rafe's smirk perking up against your heat, he came up for air for a second, "rafe's fine baby.."

you threw your head back as he licked a stripe down your pussy, grinning as he slid another finger inside, curling them before mercilessly pumping them in and out.

one thing leads to another, you're bent over the bed, rafe's cock bulging out of your stomach as his hips snap against your ass. a loud whine escapes your lips as he's rearranging your guts. your tight walls clamping desperately around his cock as your ass bounces with every thrust.

his tip brushes your cervix as he thrusts into you a few more times before pulling out and flipping you over mumbling, "need to see your pretty face.."

he shoves your body further onto the bed before climbing over you with his classic smirk. your breathing ragged as your eyes locked with his, he tapped his cock on your pussy before dragging it through your folds. he knew the teasing drove you crazy, your eyebrows cinched together as his ego grew.

a pornographic moan escaped your lips as he slid in again, rolling his hips against yours he pumped his cock at a heavenly pace. your nails left crescent shaped indents as you gripped on rafe's arms, the pleasure sending the both of you into overdrive.

rafe cursed as his thrusts grew sloppy, the way your gummy walls were squeezing him made him dizzy, his release creeping up on him. you too could feel a familiar coil tightening in your stomach, unsurprised at the discovery that rafe was the only one to be able to make you cum, even when you're technically broken up.

he lifts a hand and connects it with one of your tits, his tongue darting between his lips as he massaged the fat, your nipple between his fingers. you whimpered as his cock kissed your cervix before finally you felt the coil snap, your orgasm overpowering you.

the way your pussy clenched rafe's cock as you finished around him caused him to groan gutturally, spilling his release into your sopping hole. he collapsed on top of you, littering your neck and cheeks with kisses as he heavily breathed.

"fuck.. i love you baby" he said finally before getting up and slowly pulling out, his release leaking from you a little. he grinned at the sight and pumped to fingers into your pussy, pushing his cum back inside you. "i'll get us a wet towel" he mumbled, walking towards your bathroom after kissing you on the forehead.

taglist ; @rafegetinmybed @doeletteprincess ( feel free to ask to be added! idm! )