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sevengraces · 2 years ago

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A Eulogy For Medusa, Odysseus, Theseus

AO3 Link

After the execution Technoblade came home to an unexpected guest, it happens a little kinder than you remember.

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TW’s

-Canon typical references to violence

-Vague descriptions of an injury

-References to the execution

-References to the revolution of L'manburg

-Swearing (TommyInnit folks)

-C!Technoblade apologist behavior

Technoblade stumbled home, tugging Carl along behind him. He was beginning to regret setting up his home so far from spawn at this point.

The voices were chattering excitedly, with a sort of smug pride that left him torn between bitterness and ego. He was too tired to truly hear Chat but they weren’t quiet, they were never quiet.

The totem had worked, he was alive.

The voices let out a scoff;

Technoblade never dies.

He rested his head against Carls’ back as he tied him into the stable, he would have to move him somewhere safer soon.

“Of course not, you doubt me Chat?” he mumbled halfheartedly.

Chat snickered at his exhaustion but didn’t respond in any measurable way, simply mumbling to themselves.

Techno closed the gate and wandered into his house, dropping his items on the basement floor immediately.

“Blood for the blood God, Techno never dies, I’ll put it through your teeth!” He mocked the Chat quietly, “Just repeating me cons-” he cut himself off.

There had been a soft swear at his entrance, not that he had noticed through his exhaustion, but he did notice the child quickly shuffling behind his chests for a place to hide. He stared at Tommy blankly.

“Hey there big man! Uh-- interesting seeing you here.” Tommy took another half step back.

Technoblade blinked slowly, “What are you doing in my house Tommy?”

He laughed anxiously, “Well, you see, it is actually pretty funny and-” Tommy stopped midway through his rambled explanations, staring at the mans' arm, “Is that an open wound, are you bleeding?”

The piglin raised an eyebrow before leaning against the ladder. “Mmhmm. Why’re ya in m’house?”

“You- are, why are you bleeding Technoblade?” the boy asked in a strange voice.

Techno sighed and slumped even further into the ladder, “S’it matter Tommy?It ev’r?”

“Of course it-” Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed, “What’s wrong with you, you haven’t even tried to stab me yet, gone all puss?” he laughed hysterically.

“Just died Innit, m’too tired to stab.”

Chat laughed raucously at that;

Poor little pig, you’re never too tired to stab.

Never too tired,

Stab!

Techno flicked his head in what might have been their direction and chuffed.

“You died! No fucking way, there was no death message?”

“Had a, a totem for it. Funny trick, y’shoulda seen Quackity! Wow that bas’ard was n’t happy.” Technoblade laughed to himself, “Wait, you shouldn’t be in my house! Ge’ out!” he stumbled over the words.

Tommy paced back and forth a few times before stepping forward with his hands raised cautiously, “Listen, you don’t seem so hot big T, so uh, while I’d love to fucking dip and uh, avoid this problem, you seem in a real bad way dude. So how ��bout you take your ass upstairs to sleep and I’ll call Philza or something?”

Techno coughed out something resembling a laugh, “Whate’er, ‘ll deal with ya tomorrow.” he waved his hand vaguely in the boy's direction before pushing off the wall to head up the ladder.

The boy stared at the pigman with what might have been concern, but even Techno wasn’t tired enough to see that so he just rolled his eyes at Chat and the boy. The world swayed dangerously before coming into a blurry focus as he landed on his knees.

Tommy dove forward and caught him before he fell on his face. “What the fuck? The fuck, the fuck, uhm okay shit! Hey big man, big tough guy, The Blade! Whatcha doing here bud, this is not very pog champ my dude. You doing… good?”

Technoblade huffed, “S’op touchin’ lil racoon.”

Chat laughed loudly at that one, despite their masked concern.

The boy pushed him against the wall and held him there, “Okay, ‘m gonna choose to believe that is the post-death talking and not take that shit personally cause I’m not a fucking raccoon, but whatever, sure. I’m calling Philza, Phil, Big P, Dadza, the Phil Man.”

Tommy took a step back holding his hands as if the man might fall, before running to his communicator and calling Philza. “Minecraft, you free?”

There was a moment of hesitation before a soft, “Tommy? Why are you calling me?”

“Ha, ha, fucking yeah dude, so you’re uh good friends with The Blade right? ‘Cause I’m gonna be honest with ya Phil he’s got himself in a pretty fucking tight spot.” Tommy stared at the piglin before glancing away again.

“Shit, already? What do you mean? Is he okay? Can I talk to him?”

TommyInnit laughed, “See here's the thing, I don’t know! I was at his house, super not important by the way, and he just stumbles in fucking talking to himself before just barely noticing me and- and he’s fucking bleeding so much! I ask him what the fuck dude? And he just goes off about how it doesn’t matter, completely ignores it to complain about me being in his house, which again is not important! Then the asshole nearly collapses in on himself and I catch him cause I’m a big man but now he’s muttering and barely awake, and he apparently fucking died but didn’t-” the boy takes in a strained breath, “Philza I don’t know what to do, like obviously I’m the best and coolest and could do anything, but uh-uh I don’t want him to stab me if, when he really wakes up. So can you uh, get here?”

Philza Minecraft bit his cheek for a very long time before whispering, “I’ll be there as soon as I can Tommy, keep that asshole awake until I get there.” The man hung up leaving silence like a gunshot.

Tommy breathed in and out a few times before looking at the nearly unconscious man, “Fuck, okay.” he bounced in place and then dove forward and shoved himself under Techno’s arm. “Come on big man, here we go, do not fucking stab me or I’ll leave you to die again .”

Chat tittered and Technoblade leaned away from the boy. “Leave m’ lone Innit.” the voices laughed again and began to murmur.

TechnoTired!

When TommyInnit has to save you.

RIP.

Tommy! He’ll save you!

That's embarrassing,

The man sighed once more and began to whine quietly, “Stop, stop, stop, shut up, please.”

“Didn’t say anything big man, you’re fucking delirious.” he replied dragging the man out the basement door. “Fuck it’s cold, this is not pog, why the fuck do you live here dude?”

Chat snickered,

Aww, he’s cold!

Baby need’s coat?

Friends arc!!

Wait, isn’t Tommy a player, and Tech is from the Nether? Won’t he be colder?

Baby!

Technoblade grabbed at the door frame and muttered, “S’cold, get, no st’p.”

“Fuck, okay, we’re going inside Tech, c’mon.” Tommy risked a glance at the horizon for mobs, “Don’t make this harder man c’mon!”

The piglin eventually acquiesced, though whether because he understood or could no longer fight was unclear.

They stumbled up the stairs with no interruption besides the intermittent hesitation from Techno. Tommy eventually dragged the man onto the main room couch.

The child panted for a moment, “Okay, I can’t get you any higher cause you’re fucking heavy dude, but uh, this should work for now. Okay, okay, okay, keep Techno awake, wait for Philza, I can do this.”

Technoblade grumbled, “Ph’lza ‘ere?”

“No, uh- he’s on his way though? Alright, potions, that should help.”

“Miss ‘im, where’s he at?”

Chat got much louder.

Tommy sighed and continued to dig through the pigmans' chests, “He’s on his way from fucking L’manburg, and I have to keep you breathing ‘till then so don’t stab me.”

There was a long pause.

“T’mmy?”

The boy hummed distractedly.

Technoblade tilted his head towards him, he was elbow deep in the main chests and the only thing that Techno could see was that he wasn’t wearing shoes.

“Am I bad?” he asked with hesitation dripping from his words.

Chat cooed incoherently, the white noise occasionally interrupted with;

vulnerability pog!

Tommy laughed, “Well you blew my fucking country up out of spite so who’s to fucking say.”

“Oh Thes’us, not for spite.” The man whispered and lowered his head into the couch.

Tommy pulled a few sweet smelling potions out of the chest and shuffled towards the dazed man. “What’s up with that hmm? Theseus ? How was that not spiteful?” The boy tilted a potion into Techno’s mouth before leaning against the arm of the couch.

The potion eased the throbbing pain behind Techno’s eyes and he sighed softly, “Was a warn’ng kid. Soon as ya started that stup’d gov’rnment ‘t was obvious.”

Tommy glared, “Whatever, there was no fucking way that you could see us start a government and then fucking know that I’d be exiled! Tubbo didn’t want to exile me goddammit!”

Chat twittered anxiously and Techno huffed, “You’re j’st a kid, poor Theseus, ya nev’r had a chance.” the pig laid his head back against the arm of the couch as his head cleared, “Tommy.”

The young boy looked up from the corner of his eyes at the clarity in Techno’s voice, “What?”

“What did you think would happen? When you stated yourself president, then Wilbur, then Tubbo? God you’re all just kids.” He pulled his legs closer.

“I- I just thought I’d get my discs back and rule L’manburg with Tubbo? We aren’t kids, we haven’t been for a while.” Tommy answered quietly.

Technoblade gestured the boy onto the couch and waited, “You are kids, god you’re what? Sixteen? Just a kid, so was Tubbo. Dream was always gonna force your hand, you all but declared war on him for those stupid discs, of course he would make Tubbo isolate you kid. You saved your country Theseus, and they exiled you. They always exile you. Do you think Dream cares? He doesn’t.”

“Oh and you do? What the fuck ever! You spawned withers to make a fucking point.” he spat.

Techno glared at the boy on the other end of the couch. “What did you want me to do, hmm? Beg? Beg you not to do this to yourself? Beg you not to do this to everyone else? You said it yourself Theseus , I’m The Blade. ” He paused and whispered to himself, “Only ever The Blade.”

Tommy's head shot up at the whisper, “Why do you say it like that? Like it’s a punishment?”

Technoblade smiled ruefully before muttering to Chat, “Poor kid, he doesn’t know guys, he has no clue.”

“Who are you talking to? What don’t I know you asshole?” the kid leaned into the other side of the couch, barely remembering to inject the venom into his voice.

“I’m not talking to anyone, Innit. I’m never talking to anyone.” The man angled his head so that he could look at Tommy. “What you don’t know about Theseus , what I tried to tell you with my little demonstration, my little ‘parable’, was this; the hero never wins. They always lose. Save your city-state, get exiled. Dedicate yourself to your goddess, die a hunted monster. Sacrifice everything to get home, find your home gone when you return. Once you’re a legend Tommy, once you are a god, a hero, once they give you a title , your ending is forfeit. Your story is written in the stars, but so is the ending.”

Tommy stared at the man, opening and closing his mouth. “Wh- why do you care? Why do you want me to know? Why do you give a shit whether or not L’manburg gets to kill itself? Why would you fucking help us if you thought that the only option was martyrdom?”

Technoblade shook his head, and laughed softly to himself.

The voices murmured anxiously and snickered.

“TommyInnit, are you asking me why I funded and powered your little revolution? Why I helped you if I knew what happened to heroes ?” Techno sneered on the last word.

Tommy nodded slowly.

“People deserve to exist Innit, they deserve to come home in peace and wake up softly without a racing heart. That is why I fought for your cause. Schlatt may have been elected, but you and I both agree he was a corrupt dictator.” Techno took a swig of another potion.

“But uh- what about Theseus? And Medusa, and Odysseus? You knew what happened to the heroes! If you knew, why would you try and save us? You knew we would start another government!” Tommy had spun around in his seat and was making unwavering eye contact, practically hanging on the piglins next words.

The voices paused in their background chatter, seemingly holding their breath.

Technoblade swallowed down another potion and tilted his head to the side, “I already have a title Tommy. I am The Blade, the feared warrior, the best tool . My story is in the stars too; right next to Medusa, right next to Odysseus, and right next to Theseus. I know my story ends lonely and bloody, TommyInnit. I know if I do a thousand good deeds, or I do one, I’ll die with blood in my mouth and bruises on my knuckles. I know that Perseus is the exception and not the rule.”

The pig placed the empty potion bottle on the ground and winced, “I mean listen Innit, I literally retired! I didn’t bother your new government, I could’ve stopped it anytime Tommy. I left you all alone, I figured fine, you want it so bad you can have it. What’s the saying? No good deed goes unpunished. They executed me. No trial, no appeal. Just me in a cage, your best friend at the podium, and an anvil. They hunted me down and killed me, and locked up my only friend for no reason other than that he knows me, they made him watch.”

Tommy sat in silence for a long time. He inspected the pigman slowly.

The man was propped up against the armrest on the opposite end of the couch, his legs were curled towards himself with his hooves tucked under his body. His head was resting in the palm of his hand as he stared into the middle distance, wincing at his headache occasionally. His clothes were torn and his forehead was covered in sweat. There was a broken gold ring hanging limply off his tusks and one of his emerald earrings was missing.

“Didn’t, didn’t you know that we’d start another government?” He finally asked.

Technoblade smiled and closed his eyes, leaning into the palm of his hand a little harder, “Of course I knew Theseus, I’m not an idiot. You told me you would.”

Tommy furrowed his brow and swung his legs into the free cushion between the two of them. “If you knew then… Why? Why did you give us gear, weapons, armor, and help? Wouldn’t it be time to fucking leave us to dry once you heard that we’d reinstate a government?”

“Tommy, disregarding the fact that Schlatt deserved to be taken down, I had hoped that even when you three rebuilt what we’d just destroyed that someone would decide to leave, that some citizens might flee, and even that maybe one of you would hesitate. That just for a moment you might consider something kinder. All those people deserved a chance to run, and you all deserved a chance to be better than my worst suspicions.” Techno scoffed, “It was naive of me, and I should’ve known better but, well, everyone wants to be a hero at least once. I should’ve known better than to think I could be anything but The Blade , but I had hoped.”

The young boy glanced at the piglin and his sad smile, he rated a gentle hand on his shoulder and responded hesitantly; “If uh, if I’m Theseus then who are you? The Minotaur? You certainly smell bad enough!” he laughed and elbowed the man, before moving to collect the empty bottles.

Technoblade cracked a more genuine smile, “Ha ha Innit, as if. We all know Technoblade never dies.”

Tommy laughed louder and grabbed another potion while he checked his communicator for more information from Philza. “If you say so, big man.” He shook his head and snuck a look at the larger man out of the corner of his eyes. The boy took a quick step forward and cleared his throat. “Techno listen,” he started with a less jovial tone, “about what you said, y’know earlier?”

Techno looked up and nodded cautiously.

“I don’t uh, I don’t think you’re a uh-” he scratched the back of his head, “you know, you aren’t so bad, I don’t think that you’d qualify as a, y��know bad person. Just in general.”

Tommy took a few steps back and looked anywhere but at the pigman for a long moment, before screwing up his courage and peeking out from behind his fringe.

Technoblade was smiling softly with wide, suspiciously shiny, eyes. He rubbed a hand across his eyes quickly but didn’t quite manage to wipe the soft awe off his face. “Uhm, I- thanks kid. I ‘preciate it.” he coughed, and looked down quickly before clearing his throat.

Chat cooed loudly in his head;

Blushy Blade!

Technoshy!!

C’mon guys don’t be mean!

EEEEEeeeeeE

Techno bit his lip and glared at the floor, mentally cursing his internal audience.

TommyInnit smiled again and handed him the potion he had been fiddling with, “Anytime big man. Just uh, don’t die next time you need a pep talk? There are for sure easier ways to contact me.”

Technoblade laughed sharply, “Whatever Innit! You’re the one in my house! What are you even doing here?”

He laughed faux-nervously and headed towards the kitchen, “That is so not important right now!”

#dsmp #mcyts #c!technoblade #c!tommyinnit #references to c!philzaminecraft #hurt/comfort #technoblade centric #hoghunt era #dsmp lore #fanfiction #technoblade apologism #anxious technoblade

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