#hockey!

[redjacketficrecs]

Pass It On

knight_tracer, thefourthvine

Summary: Ninety percent of everyone's problems could be solved by a robot that just texted NO to hockey players on a regular basis. Unfortunately, Sidney didn't have a robot.

Recommendation: If you haven’t read this fic what are you doing? It’s hilarious and oh so good. Against his will, Sidney becomes the agony aunt of young(ish) and upcoming NHLers, though this is set in 2015 so literally none of them are young by hockey standards anymore. He gets asked an awful lot of bizarre, mostly sex and relationship questions and eventually manages to give himself some good advice. 9K. Fucking hilarious. You get cameos from a TON of players and they’re just as wonderfully dumb (affectionate) as you would imagine. I can’t decide if Ekblad or Seguin are my favourite in this. Or maybe Ovi and his cheesecake.

[jamiedrizzdale]

i met tyson jost a couple weeks ago and i want everyone to know that he is SUCH a kind human! i love him so much!

[maggierow]

I went to the Wild-Edmonton game tonight, 6th row. Wild. But for real, totally wild.

[noelevangilinecarson]

It's almost hockey time y'all!!!

[st-louis]

“you get all hot and horny at the beginning of the year . . . you get piss and vinegar in your pants” jacob allen are you feeling all right

[frawkeyes]

FRIEND APPRECAITON <333

[kensatou]

make men slutty again.

HEAT STROKE | GQ CHINA Photographer: Wintam; Editor & Image: Shawn Gao Ding; Makeup: Lucas; Hair: Tao Liu; Art: Grade 2 & Lei Min; Art Assistant: Jiang Mi; Models: Kim; Ye Hao, Yu Hang, Ho Jun; Fashion Assistant: Yiyi, Coco; Photography Assistant: Li Zhenxi; Song Luanyi

bonus as rightfully added by @polyabathtub:

[nando161mando]

Pro-homosexual forces stay winning

[halestrom]

THREE GAME WIN STREAK fuck he’s

[callisteios]

i made a character uquiz. i 100% promise you that you will get a character you know AND like

[redjacketficrecs]

Strange Torpedo

connectknee

Summary: The first time Nolan ever meets TK, he has whiskers drawn on his face in purple marker and his hair is pulled into lopsided pigtails with those clacky little hair ties, the ones with tiny plastic shapes attached to them. Nolan doesn’t know his name yet. It’s a whole thing.

"You’re the teacher?" Nolan asks incredulously.

"Yep," the guy tells him, mouth twitching. "New this year. Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"No problem," Nolan says.

--

In which TK is the unconventional first-grade teacher in charge of Nolan’s niece, and Nolan is trying to figure out what to do with his life after crashing out of hockey.

Recommendation: Who doesn’t love a good kidfic? TK and Nolpat inspire the best AUs, they really do. TK as a chaotic kindergarten teacher is fucking inspired and he’s just so great in this. The kid character feels like they were written by someone who has actually spent time with a child, so that’s great. And also seems like they actually have an idea of what goes in to being a teacher.I like the slow burn of this and Nolan’s hesitation about falling in love. I love how Nolan tries and how prickly he is. And I adore how both of them love, differently but in a way that works for them both. At one point the author describes it as horny and sweet and yeah that’s just about right!

[tojisun]

call it bad porno plot but blue collar simon coming to your house cuz you rang, saying you needed some plumbing done, and you, well, you didn’t expect this hulking mass of a man to come greet you with an accent so thick you can feel yourself getting wet :(

he calls you maam and missus—you say “just miss,” with a little cough because you’re not married, and he pauses and goes, “oh, is that so?” with this little pleased smile tugging at his lips.

he checks whatever’s going on in your kitchen sink and says it might take a while, and you can barely reply to him when he begins to shrug his jacket off, leaving him in this skin-tight black shirt that literally looks so beat up with overuse but unbelievably hot on him.

“reckon little ol’ me can have somethin’ to drink, maam?” he asks, crossing those thick arms over his chest, and you can barely rasp out your reply before you’re turning around to rummage around the fridge.

you don’t notice the way simon eyes you down, tracing your body and barely biting a pleased hum at the sight you make, all doll and pretty, so easy to read with your blown wide eyes staring up at him with such palpable desire.

you haven’t been fucked right, huh darling? probably never had a real man treat you well—fold you over the counter, make you squirt with only fingers, yeah?

well, he thinks, rolling his shoulders and grunting his thanks to you when you give him a glass of OJ, maybe i can be that man for you, isn’t that right petal?

(it takes a purposeful hit at the pipes for things to pick up—you came running back to the kitchen with a confused yelp, and the next he’s got you on your kitchen table, legs thrown over his shoulders, and his head buried in your cunt.)

-

ext

[dadvans]

“and the fans are throwing celebratory rats on the ice” god I love hockey

[gyudons]

a sequence of Events. not crosby. not mcdavid. just one nhl player with no “reputation” and everything to lose.