#hobo cop thoughts

[hobo-copp]

Saw this meme and immediately had to make it for them.

They're polyamorous idiots in my head.

I'd die for them.

Don't look too closely at my shit ass handwriting

[kipperlillyforpresident]

https://www.reddit.com/r/Dimension20/s/w3Hs9AWn5d to y'all

this is THE funniest anon hate i could ever receive. you can't even be bothered to write your own message...? you're just linking a reddit post...? one has to laugh.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

DM: "So after you racked up the very impressive and very unnecessary body count of 1 mark, 2 civilians and 2 cops -in our first session no less- I thought I would lean into the murder hobo this week.

"But no. Of course, this week you decide to use your words."

[randoimago]

Headcanons of Peter B. Parker, Miguel, The Spot, and Hobie have a crush on an oblivious reader?

Crushing on an Oblivious Reader

Fandom: Spiderverse

Character(s): Hobie, Peter B. Parker, Miguel, The Spot

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): God I love the idea of these specific people having a crush on an oblivious reader because I feel like it's just chaos no matter where you look. All of them are v dramatic for different reasons tho

Hobie

Oh he finds your oblivious to be very amusing. At first, he thought you were ignoring his advances to spite him for some reason (which he'd respect it). But then he just realizes that you don't get it.

Honestly, not too surprising you don't pick up on his advances. He doesn't do things the typical way. Flowers? Chocolates? Like hell he'd contribute to capitalism to flirt with you. He also doesn't really flirt with you with the standard "your eyes are pretty" "you look cute today" yeah no. It's definitely "hey, let's go to this protest and shout ACAB at any cops that walk by"

The most "romantic" (he doesn't believe in romance) thing he does is play his guitar for you. Even then it's lots of loud noises but he throws all of his emotions into it so that's something.

Miguel

Considering he doesn't even try to make it obvious that he likes you, it's no wonder you haven't realized. Hardly anyone knows that he's even "flirting" with you (making you 'employee of the month' isn't flirting, it does make Lego Spider-Man suspicious tho).

He's nicer to you than others, but that's something that even he is oblivious to and if Lyla or Peter mentions it then he denies as a defense mechanism. You deny it because you really don't see it.

The funny thing is, Lyla has gone behind his back to send you cute messages and stuff from his email but even those you don't get (and he doesn't know she does it) so now she's getting frustrated on his behalf.

Peter

He is gradually going insane with how you're not picking up on his advances. He's given you flowers, chocolates, he's said really dumb dad jokes to leave a smile on your face. But if anyone mentions your relationship it's always, "Yeah he's a good friend!" and he dies inside.

Has gone to Miles and Gwen for help. He can't believe he resorted to asking teenagers for help hitting on you and he can't believe he's trying to follow their ideas. (he mentioned looking up "how to flirt" and when the word "thicc" left his mouth, it caused an uproar)

Honestly wanted to get the sweatpants out and brood because maybe if he looks like a sad hobo then you'll give him attention. His doctor told him he'd die without your attention so please notice him before he goes bald.

Spot

Does not know how to flirt so your obliviousness is both understandable and killing him because he's trying. He's trying so hard and it's so pathetic. Especially because when he fails with his flirts, the self-consciousness kicks in and then he's just sad.

His words are stutters, he has tried to steal you flowers only for one of his spots to grab a cactus instead (which he ended up pricking himself with and now needs tweezers). Wanted to win you a teddy bear at a carnival cause that's cute, right? But he can't find a damn dimension with a carnival! (unless you count the spider society cause they're a whole circus)

Would probably just end up so dejected because he's tried so hard and has finally chalked it up to you not getting his advances because you don't want to. Why would you even like someone covered in spots like him? You trying to comfort him doesn't really help either. Maybe he'll sadly confess to you, maybe he'll die alone, who knows at this point.

[lorifragolina]

Bite the Bullet, Billy - Fourth Part

This is the fourth part of my @billybigbang2024 fic!

After torturing him with lack of love and shocks he doesn't deserve, Billy found a friend, a special redhead friend who help him to build a little found family! But his past menaces to put his life upside down another time! Who i knocking at his door with more questions than answers?

Thank you again, @talanashta for supoorting me through the drama of a lost chapter :O; I was more shocked than Billy at the end on the last chapter ;)

You can find 5 new chapters in this part,please, mind the CW!

CW: Domestic violence, period-typical racism, racist terminology, suicidal thoughts, hospital, cops, animal injuries

Read it in AO3 - link to the whole fic - direct link to Chapter 16

Below the cut a little snippet about the new Billy's ginger friend!

He parked his car behind the local dumpster, looking at the other side where the hobos gathered around their little fires and tried to get ready for the night. He didn’t want to bother them, he knew how territorial they were with strangers, and he didn’t want troubles. He could hear their voices when he sat against the fence, a joint in one hand and the sandwich in the other.

He kept his eyes low when the noise at his side became louder, but touched the knife he always carried in his jacket, just in case. His breath became faster, and he felt the fear and the danger he was used to feeling in those kinds of places; he threw the cig butt and swallowed. 

Then he heard a whine at his side, just when he was ready to jump on his feet and fend for himself. 

The puppy was a few meters from him and looked at him with round, shiny eyes under the street lights; the poor animal was shivering in fear, looking carefully at him, ready to run away but hungry enough to try its luck.

“Go away,” said Billy in a low voice, opening the paper of his meal. The dog whined again, making some steps to get nearer.

“I said go away!” repeated Billy louder. The dog stopped, inebriated by the smell of the meat in the sandwich, but didn’t go away. It waited a moment, and moved a little more to Billy.

“I said go away, go away!” yelled Billy, throwing a little pebble in the dog’s direction; the dog jumped back and returned to hide a little farther, desperate for starvation.

Billy bit the sandwich, but he didn’t taste it; he was bothered by the closeness of the dog and he standed to shoo it; but when he stepped to it, and the dog flinched a little, looking at him with those big, innocent eyes, Billy’s heart sank.

It was a rough collie, with furry, ginger ears and a collar of white hair, tangled and dirty; it was so skinny Billy could see its ribs on its back; it was evident that someone threw it away at the dumpster and the puppy tried to survive eating whatever he found; Billy was surprised that the dog wasn’t with the homeless at the other side of the dumpster, because there he could find more food than begging from a stranger, but probably, they didn’t want it either. Nobody wanted him. 

Nobody wanted them. 

Billy’s eyes filled up with tears while the dumpster puppy looked hopeful at him, too hungry to run away, too scared to get nearer; Billy felt so guilty for trying to kick the puppy out like everyone in his life kicked him out; he wasn’t different from them, he just didn’t want that burden to bother him… the puppy just wanted a little care, a piece of his sandwich. It wasn’t dangerous… he just wanted a little love.

Billy dried his eyes and squatted in front of the dog, stretched a hand to it, trying to talk with a soft voice. The dog whined again and moved a couple of steps, then a couple more, until Billy could gently pat it on the head.

The dog was still cautious and careful, but let Billy touch his head and scratch it between its ears. 

Billy tore the sandwich and gave a half to the dog, which scarfed it down in half a second. 

“You’re quite hungry,” Billy smiled and gave it the other half too. 

The dog sniffed him for a long minute after eating, begging for more, and Billy smiled again, trying to pet it while the dog was making a lot of fuss.

It was a girl, Billy saw, and he was wondering who could throw away a fleabag so sweet and pretty, when the dog stopped suddenly and puked all the food near his shoes.

“What the…” Billy made a brusque gesture, and the dog wailed, afraid and scared and probably expecting a beating.

“Ok, don’t worry, it is nothing,” Billy tried to calm her, but after a while he started to feel hungry again, and the dog too; he made a little space in the car and arranged cardboard on the backseat for her and took her in his arms; she was so skinny and light, but her eyes were happy and grateful.

Billy bought more sandwiches at a gas station and a can of dog food; the dog ate with pleasure, and that time she didn’t throw up. She was just so happy and full that she did a little dance and wagged her tail around Billy, then peed almost on him for the excitement.

“For Christ’s sake, you’re trying to get on my nerves, shitbird!” he exclaimed, and then stopped, listening to the word he just said lingering in the air. 

He smiled, and he knew what name he was about to give to his brand-new friend.

[curseofthebloodcountess]

I have private brain rot about Modern!Blood Countess/Real Housewives. Here are some thoughts/images I have to live with that I need to inflict on people:

Ez driving and living in a van. Bonus points for her picking up Theo and the Vallikicule on her way home from dress rehearsals for Rictavio's Carnival of Wonders

Lucian trying to teach Theo to drive his mini van and shoving the responsibility on Listerine when they make fun

Izek Strazni in his cop cruiser and uniform. He looks so stupid, y'all.

Fiona trying to recommend a good divorce lawyer to Lydia. It's a queer-coded af suggestion and very unreciprocated, but Lydia still takes the card and swears she'll consider it

Nikolai Wachter breaking in to the Vallaki hospital or county courthouse to find Elizaveta's medical records, trying to find out what they listed her cause of death. Karl is along for the shits and giggles.

Victor being offered a full ride to Immol University but having to "settle for" Vallaki Community College because his parents don't want him out of their sight after the bullshit that happened with Stella

Tam has hobo vibes. He's not a hobo - he's a homeowner with some land outside of town - but he comes into the city a couple times a month for supplies and people are weird about it. To be fair, Tam's probably also weird about it.

Rictavio has fangirls. No one is happy about it, but especially not Rictavio.

Where do the cars and mass-produced goods come from? Who knows!

The druids are eco-terrorists who are rumored to be part of the Cult of Mother Night. Some of them are more integrated into society, but they're still like... extremist hippies who want you to sign this pamphlet to protect the environment

Krezk is romanticized by sourdough starter tradwife wannabes. Real Krezkites don't know they're being celebrated on TikTok.

Vallaki Pride Events go hard. Vallaki Halloween trunk or treats. Vallaki holiday parties that last for dayyyys. You get what I mean.

God. Just all of modern Vallaki, tbh. I should get back to that fic.

Rahadin with a smartwatch. The only number he has saved in it is Strahd's. He still receives ill-timed calls from the brides, his baby mama, and his boyfriend, who just called to say hi. (Goddammit Cordy.)

Strahd has regular Zoom meetings with her top agents - the brides, Vasili, Rahadin - but someone always has hella lag and Rahadin's choir keeps getting picked up on the mic.

Vasili puts Lysandra up in a gorgeous penthouse apartment with a lot of windows. She wears a lot of designer brands to impress the in-laws, but otherwise lives in lululemon athleisure wear, trying to stay current enough that Vasili doesn't notice that she's slowly (compared to humans. Compared to him? Rapidly) aging.

Marigold facetimes with Cordy, but he's really bad at the camera so she usually ends up staring at the ceiling or the garden while they catch up

Ivan and Escher are rival influencers. Superfans have noticed little things that suggest they may be more than rivals, but Strahd/Escher shippers accuse them of reading too much into things. It's a scandal brewing in a small sphere of Barovia, so Strahd kind of ignores it. What she doesn't ignore is when Escher tries to include too much info about her or her court in his "little videos"

Kehrani is in the army and she kicks ass, but that's not new

Theo's entire bedroom being covered in statues of saints, live-laugh-love signs, and Rictavio fangirl posters.

[sweetmisschesire]

Warning for some bob typical violence (so no complete cannibalism) and vampire stuff

Kevin felt dizzy and exhausted as he woke up. He could feel his eyes twitch but refuse to open despite his efforts. Eventually Kevin was able to force his eyes open half way, the sudden brightness making him want to shut them again. Making them open more, he blinked away the blurriness to see white all around him.

There was a steady beeping to his right and looking over he could see a heart monitor and other machines he was hooked up to. He was in the hospital. He attempted to sit up only for the movement to cause intense pain. He looked down at his right side and saw bandages all around his shoulder, collarbone, and neck. There were more on his arms and he could feel some sticking to his ribs. Bringing up a hand up to his pounding head he found even more bandages, and even one on his cheek.

What happened?

The sound of a door opening broke his chain of thoughts as he looked forward to see Radford let himself in. His friend startled for a minute, obviously not expecting him to be awake.

“Fuck, Kevs!”

Radford almost tripped in his rush forward, catching himself on the back of a chair by his bed to regain his balance. He hauled himself into the chair before scooting it closer to Kevin.

“Radford wh-what happened?”

“I-I was hoping you could tell me man. I-I came to visit you and there was this huge crowd and an…ambulance.”

“A-an ambulance?”

It made sense he guessed, since he was in a hospital. But he was having trouble remembering what landed him here.

“I watched as they pulled your body out of the side alley man. You-….there was so much blood.”

Kevin brushed his hand over the bandage on his shoulder and neck again as he furrowed his brow.

“You were really hurt dude. The doctors said they were bite and scratch marks of all things. No one saw who attacked you though.”

“Velseb.”

“What?”

“It was Velseb. Bob Velseb.”

Kevin remembered what happened. He had been closing the Candy Club for the night, and was taking care of his last task; throwing out the trash. He had gone out the door to the side alley and tossed the bags into the dumpster, but before he could go back in to grab his stuff, a crunch of trash under someone’s foot stopped him.

Kevin had honestly expected it to be Radford messing with him, or those two hobos wandering around drunk again. However, turning around had him face to face with a man that was well over six feet, towering over him like the giant he was. He was large with black hair and a wild unnerving stare.

This was the same face that had been on the news, and the newspapers, and all over wanted posters all over town. Bob Velseb.

“Well well. Looks like I get a sweet treat tonight.”

The man drooled as he walked forward. Kevin suddenly collected himself and nearly tripped as he turned to bolt to the door. If he could get inside, he could lock the door and call the cops.

But suddenly, the devil man was in front of him. He had moved impossibly fast for any person. Kevin nearly fell over coming to such a fast stop. Bob having grabbed the front of his shirt was the only reason he didn’t land on his ass. Not that this was a blessing as he shook, staring up at the man eyeing him like a piece of meat.

Though, to a cannibal he guessed he was. He fruitlessly tried to push the larger man’s hand off, only to be laughed at. Bob suddenly picked him off his feet and threw him further into the alley. He felt the air get knocked out of him as he slammed into the wall head first. Kevin pushed himself up with shaky limbs, his head swimming.

He could feel something warm and wet dripping down his head. He was once again smacked down the alley. Something sharp raked across his right arm, and he felt a similar warm wetness like on his head. He glanced down to see he was bleeding. A deep, claw-like gash in his arm. Bob slammed him down to the ground before he could get up.

“Let go of me!”

Bob’s laugh bellowed, and Kevin could feel it in his chest. He screeched in pain when Bob dug what felt like claws into his right side. He could feel more blood being drawn as he squirmed against his grip.

“Look at you welp. Still fightin’ even though you’re gonna die.”

Bob dug his thumb, index, and middle finger into his cheek and dragged them down. Kevin whimpered as he broke the skin. Bob brought the fingers up to his mouth and licked the blood off.

“Mmm. How sweet. I think I’ve played enough.”

Bob took his bloody hand off his ribs and ripped his shirt around his neck on his right side.

“Time to dig in.”

Kevin couldn’t even manage a scream when Bob sank his teeth into his neck and collarbone. He could feel him suck on the bite wound. It seemed impossible, but Kevin could swear Bob was sucking the blood out of him. He could feel himself getting lightheaded as more and more blood was being drawn from his body. His vision grew blurry as the noises around began to fade.

Just as he was about to pass out he swore he heard someone yell, and Velseb let go of his neck. He dropped to the ground with a thud, as he could just make out the figure of Bob, leaving with a much smaller and skinnier figure out of the alley.

He must have passed out after that. Next thing he remembers was waking up here.

“Fuck man.”

“Yeah, guess that explains why I feel so sick. No idea why my stomach hurts so much.”

“You might just be hungry man. You have been unconscious for like, about.. 3 days?”

“Th-three days?!” Kevin shot up only to immediately regret it as crumpled over in pain.

“Wh-whoa man take it easy. You’re still really messed up. Let me call the nurse.”

Kevin would spend the next three days in the hospital being treated for injuries until he was deemed well enough to treat them himself at home. What bothered him was that no matter how much food he ate at the hospital, he never seemed to not be hungry.

At first, Kevin chalked it up to being in hospital food, but when he ate at home, he found the same results. Worse was when he tried to eat pizza only to immediately get sick. He thought at first it was just too much greasy food for his stomach, but then found that he couldn’t eat anything with garlic in it.

He felt jittery and just starving all the time. But nothing could fix it. Later, when he tried to step outside during the day for the first time since his release from the hospital on his day off. it burned. It burned so bad. He had to run back inside to find his skin, red and blistered, as though he just immediately got some of the worst sunburn he’s ever had in his life in mere seconds.

Kevin didn’t figure it out until later. On one of his days off, he went out at night. He was just desperately trying to do something to get his mind off of how much his stomach hurt, how empty it felt. He walked on a path near the forest to clear his mind and stay away from people as much as he could. A rustle of leaves had him turn to see a deer. Kevin thinks he blacked out after that, because the next thing he knows he was waking up deep in the forest with the deer's throat torn open and covered in its blood.

It didn’t fully sate his hunger, but it was no longer painful. He had to run home doing his best to avoid the town and nobody would see him. Kevin didn’t take showers every day, because his job kept him busy and water bills were too expensive. But now he though he desperately needed one, his goal was to get to the only mirror in the house he had.

He knew he was staring into it, he was right in front of it. But there was no reflection. Velseb really had been draining his blood that night, because he was a vampire.

And now so was Kevin.

@xfriki26

[jacenotjason]

Unfortunately Eddith is one of the OCs I don't have any references for at the moment... I'm gonna have to go scrounging for picrews later bc I have a clear idea of her in my head I just need to get it on something first. Will get back to you on that!

However. Now I just kinda. Wanna ramble about all my OCs sdjnf sjfkn SO! Descriptions time!!! Not including Eddith and Teru since I already mentioned them to you

Margo - my girl, and the one I talk about the most! You. may have heard of her before?? Idk. ANYWAY! She's an incredibly anxious and paranoid cultist that Does Not Want To Be There. Her and Ignacio were childhood friends so she kind of just. Clings to him and fears everyone else kdsjfnsfsd. I haven't worked out the nitty gritty of their relationship yet but they are Fun, I will say that much

Also she got bit by a vampire and while the cult amulet saved her from turning I like exploring the idea that she's not quite human anymore

Blossom - Blossom is. Interesting? I've been thinking of reworking her character actually, originally she was going to be a priest, but then Gregor got introduced, so I tried to retool her to connect to him but it didn't really. Sit right? idk

After watching a friend play AA (and inspired by people headcanoning Richard and Garcia as lawyers) I had the thought of reworking her into an attorney bc that would be a very interesting thing to explore in this town. No matter what her base concept is the same tho, a woman that gives off a haughty exterior but generally cares about the people she tries to help

Rachel - probably the first SM OC I created, right before Blossom. She works at the mall and is a classic "bitch in sheeps clothing" sort of character, acts nice and sweet but is actually super spiteful and petty, and loves gossip. She hates Radford because they were high school sweethearts that had a horrible falling out, and has a rivalry with Streber over the stupidest shit

Blondie - my silly cyptid hobo man!!! I don't talk about him a lot but he's always there. In my head. He's a werewolf that lives in the woods and frequently sneaks into town to steal clothes/food. He barely talks and is missing an eye, and is taller than Jack (to give scale). Speaking of he's wanted by the cops for multiple counts of theft and trespassing

Shugo (name tentative) - Teru's older sister! I have no idea what she major's in but she's in college. She really cares about Teru and tried to help her make friends before she went off. It. Didn't really stick-

Tessa - my most recent OC after Eddith, I actually got her from @/bulldog-geckorahhhhh! She's really into scenecore and collecting niche shit, is best friends with Rachel and is also close with Streber from their high school days! It also uses she/it pronouns :]

Sorry if this is longer than you were expecting, they've been rattling around for a g e s

aaaAAAAAAA

WOAHEIH LOTS OF INFORMATION

I LOVE THEM ALL Tuktuka and Blondie should be friends lmfao. Blondie watches Tuktuka get adopted by Patty like "D:< bro."

SORRY random thought aNYWAYS

THESE ARE SO FUN. I LOVE THESE. I LOVE RACHEL LMAO. The idea of an oc hating Radford makes me giggle and i dont know why. hes so silly how can you hate him. hey she should meet op radford *i get shot in the head*

I'm pretty sure you talked about Margo to me! She was the OC you talked about when I was developing Vito right? think so!!

THESE ARE SO COOL!! I'd be happy to make you some refs or anything if you want!!

[thestalkerbunny]

It really does sound like a good game, wish I could get into it, but even watching a let's play fells daunting. You got any favorite characters?

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY FAVORITE FUCKING CHARACTER.

HER NAME IS ALFIRA. She's a random NPC you meet early on in the game, in grove where a bunch of Tieflings are taking refuge cause fucking goblins want to do a murder to them. And She plays you a beautiful song if you help her with the lyrics and there's a whole cut scene. And she misses her mentor and wants to do like a tribute album. And then she comes to your camp and is like 'I wanna travel with you guys! I wanna see the world and make it to Baldur's gate! (a major city)' And OF COURSE you say yes cause she's a cutie patootie dressed like a JESTER. Perfect Bard Girl.

She is THE BEST GIRL, looket them little bells. She jingle jingle.

However.

If you play as Dark Urge. She joins your Camp.

And uh.

The Thoughts(tm) win whether you like it or not.

This LITERALLY gave me such a fucking JUMP SCARE when this happened cause I DIDNT KNOW that this would happen and I FREAKED OUT. Started yelling at my friend who said 'oh play as Dark Urge, there's more content if you play as Dark Urge' cause HE DIDNT KNOW THAT HAPPENED TO ALFIA, so we're both screaming hysterically cause for the past hour I was hyping up this little clown girl to him.

Anyway.

There's a work around glitch you can exploit if you knock her out and then immediately go to save at your camp-you just murder a random hobo that comes to stay with you briefly. And Alfia will live. (and you get like a cool cape that lets you turn invisible which fucks hard as hell.)

It took me 2 REAL LIFE DAYS to get that to work cause I was so *BAD* at it. Every time I knocked her out the cops either caught me or I knocked her out TOO HARD and she died. A Lot of restarting from previous save for that nonsense.

I finally got it to work and when you defeat all the nasty rude goblins and the tieflings are finally safe to make passage to Baldur's Gate-she's at the party later that night. And you get to meet her later on in the game and I KNOW she's not a core important character like any of the romance options you travel with. But she's MY ROMANCE OPTION GODDAMIT. WHY COULDNT I ROMANCE ALFIA? I WORKED TO HARD TO SAVE HER LITTLE LIFE.

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

2. I'll live in a dumpster. I don't care. Fuck everything. Hobocop.

Thought gained: Hobocop

ENCYCLOPEDIA - Entertain the thought when you get the time. Maybe being a hobo *and* a cop has its advantages?

Let's do that right now, actually, and check out the two Thoughts we've obtained.

Here's the Thought Cabinet.

Equipping a Thought will allow us to Internalize it over a period of time. (Time passes as we perform actions). Thoughts affect your overall stats, for better or worse. We can see the immediate effect of equipping a Thought, but once it's successfully Internalized, those effects will change.

An Internalized thought will also provide additional dialogue options. We currently have six slots available.

INEXPLICABLE FEMINIST AGENDA

Temporary research bonus: +2 Authority against men Research time: 3h 45m

PROBLEM: Something stirs in you -- something *interdisciplinary*. Is it a newly formed reaction to the tyrannical gender roles around you, or something you've always had? One thing is for sure: you're not a *mild* feminist. Oh no, these are incendiary thoughts aimed at undermining the pillars of society. Could you fashion them into some sort of *weapon*, perhaps? A first strike weapon to decapitate the XY chromosome hegemony...

HOBOCOP

Temporary research bonus: -1 Composure: Ungainly and rambling Research time: 4h 20m

PROBLEM: A cop -- and a hobo. A hobo cop. Upsides: can be disheveled, doesn't have to wash, carries himself with lurched gusto. Hobocop doesn't need anyone or anything! No one can kick you out, because you don't *have* a home. Never pay rent again. Never hear again, "You're drunk! Why did you even come here, Harry? Go home. You're embarrassing yourself." Downsides: Are there any? I mean, seriously, give me one.

It's worth noting we can stop internalizing a Thought at any point if we want to turn off its effect. I decide to equip both of these for now.

Let's talk to Lena again.

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Hello, sweetie." The elderly woman turns to you with a smile.

REACTION SPEED [Easy: Success] - Wait, who's *sweetie*?

"Who's *sweetie*?"

"Does that mean you *like* me?"

[Leave.]

[hobo-copp]

aNNND ANOTHER!!!

Two, actually bc I'm dumb and couldn't decide.

[andromedaexists]

Just in case anyone was questioning what a cozy fantasy novel would feel like from me, here's a song that perfectly encapsulates it:

I mean,,, just look at the lyrics:

Life's like the feeling when you had a point, but forgot it Had a ticket for my train of thought, but I lost it God gave me instructions on how to live my life But I couldn't read his handwriting So I burnt them last night

But I'd take the beauty of chaos over ugly perfection I've woken up on the wrong side of the bed every day since 1987 I can feel myself slipping away from any chance of redemption But that's okay, 'cause if that's where Falwell goes Then I don't even want any part of heaven

A guy on TV offered to save my soul toll-free But that would've required getting up off of the couch, so I was too lazy Instead I wait in the bushes outside of a cop's house, holding a twelve gauge God isn't dead, but I'll get that bastard some day!

And I'd take the beauty of my chaos over anyone else's perfection I've still woken up on the wrong side of the bed every day since 1987 Nothing scares me as much as the fact that I don't give a shit for redemption But that's okay, 'cause if that's where Limbaugh goes Then I don't even want any part of heaven

Jeet? WIP is going to be fun, oh my god it's going to be fun. I hope y'all are ready for Radical Revolution Starts In The Home With A Full Belly And Good Company: The WIP

[littleapocalypsekitten]

I grew up thinking that eating carrots would improve my eyes and later learned that it was actual deliberate British propaganda in WWII to keep the Nazis from learning about new technology. And Popeye's thing with spinach being a super-source of iron and strength was the result of a mis-print, mis-read (but it was how our parents nagged us to eat our spinach - it is still healthy, though). Poor bunnies... I mean, yeah. I don't think that the abundance of shippers in one of my fandoms who ship twin brothers together are actually into a real incest kink (maybe some are? But I don't think so. I think they just see two actually-not-quite-human characters and think "we can break the rules"). I reserve the right not to engage with such shippers and their content, because it is very squicky to me, but I feel no need to "correct" them. And I will be outright resentful if anyone calls the cops on me for blowing fictional NPC's heads off en masse and wielding a tactical nuke-launcher whenever I play a bit of Fallout. (I do not, nor do I want to own a gun much less be a murder-hobo in real life). And these thoughts can exist in the same headspace where I know that Top Gun was meant to make joining the U.S. Military look like an exciting thing where you get to be a ripped hero. Yvan eth Nioj!

"Fiction is not a 1:1 reflection of reality" and "the U.S. military doesn't support and finance American action movies and video games for fun" are concepts that can and should coexist

[echo-s-land]

Dans ma ville on traîne/In my town, we hang out

In my town, we hang out, between the concrete [and], the plains

In the cobbled streets of the town center, where every stores close down

We spend week-ends in the industrial areas

Close to the suburban areas where all the houses are the same

My city is like the first girlfriend I’ve never had

I can’t leave her yet I spend my time spitting on her

Talking about the nice weather would be wrongly looking at the sky

I hate her as much as I love her, surely because we’re the same

We hung out in the streets

Tagged on walls

Skateboarded in parks

Slept in [town] squares

Threw up in bars

Danced in clubs

Smoked in squats

Sang in stadiums

We hung out in the streets

Tagged on walls

Skateboarded in parks

Slept in [town] squares

Threw up in bars

Danced in clubs

Smoked in squats

Sang in stadiums

I hung out so much in Caen streets

With a bottle from which everybody drank

Between two suspended worlds

Criminal, the way I killed time

I hung out so much in Caen streets

With a bottle from which everybody drank

Between two suspended worlds

Criminal, the way I killed time

I hung out so much in Caen streets

With a bottle from which everybody drank

Between two suspended worlds

Criminal, the way I killed time

After 10 pm you don’t run into people anymore

As if we were still under bombardments

You’ll only hear cops and the sound of wind

And some guys from university celebrating an after-match

Who shouldn’t get too near the edge

When they’ll end up in the port

In the few bars that still serve [people]

Where there are cigs and dead drunk English people

5 am, queue in kebab restaurants after leaving the club

You can take a pita [bread] or take a punch

Or you can take the first tram

And if you ever fell asleep, you’ll wake up on the edges of town

Where shopping centers are huge

Where we spent Saturdays with the family

Where I liked to stroll so much

Even when we had nothing to buy

Parents’ shopping cart slows down in front of Pizza Del Arte

Not far away from the toys store where I stole knights

Close to the bridge where my grandmother [used to] took me throw paper planes

Where you can see the big towers of the neighborhood

Where the architect believed they did a good thing

If I didn’t rap I wouldn’t have ever gone there

Because we don’t mix up so much from where I come from

Beyond that there are fields, there’s nothing

If you see smoke when you come back

It’s that in the factories not for away

People slog, people deteriorate, people make fuel for the machine

Next to straight pavilions

Where we think about what the neighbor think

Where we spend the Sundays with the family

Where we make fragile Whites

Go along the canal, take the beltway, you arrive in the room

Where you missed key lay-ups

Not far away from a remote place where girls prostitute themselves

In the middle of cranes where there are buses

That takes you to the sea in less than 20 minutes

Where Parisians thought us so useless

Where you can see England behind the mist

Walk by the hospital that is seen from everywhere

To remind us that we’ll all be taken away

And you’ll be back in town

Where middle-class people go grocery shopping and punks beg [for food]

Where there are hobos whose everybody knows the name of

I saw Gigi split his veins open with shards of glass

In front of the local shop, the one that is still open

Near the castle, its moats and its urban legends

I intended marriages, burials,

In mosques, churches and temples

Under a Norman drizzle

She can’t even fucking rain properly

My city to the hundred steeples

Every time they destroy a building

They erase a part of my past

[itsnacc]

Hobo cop with homosexual thoughts

[druzysaur]

YOU - “Hey Kim, I just figured out something cool.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “The cow thing?”

YOU - “Yeah! Try it, it’s awesome.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “No thanks.”

YOU - “Seriously, the cops can’t stop you. Not even a superstar hobo cop of the apocalypse could stop you. And it’s free, like all the best things in life.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Why… why would the cops want to stop me?”

SHIVERS - A road stretches out of town, into the outskirts of civilization. The further away, the less maintained it becomes, becoming riddled with potholes. Eventually it is not paved at all, just a dirt path made real only by the amount of motor carriages people drive over it.

1. What’s out there? <-

2. (shake it off, dismiss thought)

SHIVERS - A pastoral farm, idyllic in its simplicity. The kind of place that claims its animals are “happy.” Bovine beasts lumber about in the fields. But also, a boy. With a mischievous grin on his face. He approaches one of the cows with intent.

1. What’s he doing? <-

2. I don’t want to know. (dismiss thought)

SHIVERS - He tipped it over, that scoundrel! The boy runs back up the hill to his hooting hollering friends, who had egged him on to do this awful thing. He did it. He’s passed the test they’ve laid out for him, and after a few additional hazings, he is now part of “the gang.” Good for him, unfortunate for the cow. If only you’d been there to stop him.

(finish thought)

KIM KITSURAGI - “Detective? You’re staring off into space…”

1. “Cows don’t deserve to be tipped, Kim.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “So instead we should… rotate them in our minds?”

RHETORIC - He’s starting to see your side of things. Break it down for him.

2. “The point is, Kim, nobody can stop you, and it’s free. You lose out on nothing by trying it.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Alright, I’m doing it now. You’re right, this is awesome.” His voice is deadpan. You’re pretty sure he’s not actually doing it.

[Rhetoric - Challenging 12] Convince Kim to rotate a cow in his mind.

TUMBLR USER - “You know, you can just rotate a cow in your mind if you want. It’s free and the cops can’t stop you.”

AUTHORITY - What did he say? You can’t stop him? Oh, he’s got another think coming.

CONCEPTUALIZATION - What an intriguing idea, though! Maybe you should let him get away with it…

“As an officer of the law, I demand that you cease rotating the cow.”

“Whoa, cool! I want to try.”

THOUGHT GAINED: Rotating Cow

(if pursued the rotating cow thought adds an animated rotating cow to the corner of your screen. the cow does nothing and cannot be dismissed, since the cops can’t stop you.)