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my favorite bts fics so far (hyung!line)
hello lovely readers, i hope all of you are doing great. i've been wanting to make this post for a while now. i really want to share the amazing work and talent that many authors have on this app. as a literature fan and hopeless romantic myself, i made sure to pick out all the fics that i think are beautiful and amazing :)
disclaimers!!!!:
some of these fics contain nsfw content (minors dni), or some heavy themes, i am yoongi biased so excuse me if the fic ratio compared to the other members is waaayy bigger (like by a lot i am so so sorry), also this post is insanely long heh (once again, i am so so sorry :p), all pictures are from pinterest!
fluff- ♾️
angst- Ω
smut- ☻
crack/humor- ☼
i would sell my liver to read this again for the first time- ¶
Kim Seokjin
Turn Back Time- @raplinesmoon ♾️☼Ω☻
''pairing: baseball player!Seokjin x doctor!reader (based on the movie 13 Going On 30) genres/au/rating: fluff, humour, angst, smut, time travel au, 18+ summary: After total humiliation at his middle school baseball try outs, Kim Seokjin wants nothing more than for his awkward years to fade away until he’s thirty. Cue a magic baseball glove, and his wish is finally granted. Seokjin suddenly wakes up seventeen years later, now the star pitcher of the team he’d always dreamed of playing for. Confused and overwhelmed at the prospect of the new life waiting for him, he turns to the only person who seems to understand him — you. Will Seokjin learn what it truly means to be thirty, flirty, and thriving? Or will he find himself wishing he could turn back time?''
Every Year- @another-army-spot ♾️Ω☻
''Pairing: Jin x Reader, some implied Yoongi x reader and Namjoon x reader
Word: 15.6K
Genre: friends-to-lovers!au, richkids!au, chef!Jin, bookworm!oc, hard fluff, smut angst?
Summary: As the daughter of the Kim’s closest friends, you’ve attended their extravagant annual New Year’s party since the year you were born. No matter what you always spend time with your favorite childhood friend, Jin, who has always been there for you. Here are the highlights of you and Jin realizing just how important you two are to each other.''
Let's get married as a joke- @burningupp Ω♾️
''Genre: angst, fluff
Pairing: Kim Seokjin x reader
Wordcount: 8210 (I’m so sorry)
Summary: Your best friend Jin has always had a talent of getting you into trouble. Maybe that’s why you’re not surprised that he asks you to marry him as a joke - or that you agree.''
friends get married all the time- @hobipost♾️
''The silly promise you made ten years ago comes back to bite your asses, and you’re both too weak to pretend it never happened
pairing: seokjin x f. reader
genres/tropes: friends to lovers, fluff
words: 2k+''
Min Yoongi
series:
The Truth Between Us- @jimlingss @gukyi ♾️Ω ☼ ¶
“⇒ summary: a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle.
⇒ enemies to lovers au with various other au’s thrown in there
⇒ word count: 14k (first chapter)
⇒ genre: fluff, angst, drama”
Dating advice- @taleasnewastime ♾️Ω☻
''Summary: It’s been months – ok, it’s been years – since you last went on a date. And you’re sick of it. Sick of seeing couples kissing and holding hands in the street. Sick of your friends settling down. Sick of everyone buying houses and having families. You’re going to do something about it. You’re going to snap up a man, you’re going to tie someone down, you’re going to finally commit, you’re going to – you’re going to need a bit of advice.
Pairing: Yoongi x reader
Genre: fluff; angst; smut
Word count: 54k
Status: Complete''
unexpected lovers- @jjkeverlast ♾️Ω☻
''-> pairing artist!yoongi x female reader
-> genre fake dating!au, romantic comedy
-> summary what happens when you meet min yoongi at the club, or well accidentally use him as your pawn to not get hit on. not knowing your cousins friend overhears and suddenly your whole family knows.
-> word count 19.8k''
Only Yesterday- @borathae ♾️☻Ω ¶
'' “Your life in a small countryside village was nothing of the extraordinary, you owned a quaint little teashop, enjoyed warm evenings in your garden and liked taking walks by the river. One day a handsome stranger moves in the abandoned cottage opposite side of the river and it is not long that he becomes a source of comfort in your life.”
Pairing: Yoongi x f.Reader
Genre: s2l!AU, Neighbours!AU, Teashop!AU, Slice of Life!AU, Romance, Fluff, Smut
Warnings: This is a very feel good story, meant to comfort the soul and warm the heart. However it contains talks about car accidents and memory loss, as well as sexually explicit scenes. If you are sensitive to such topics I advise you read with care.
Wordcount: 78.620''
Signed in Black- @yoon-kooks♾️☻
''Pairing: Yoongi x Reader
Genre: Soulmate!AU, BadBoy!AU, FLUFF, Smut [in future chapters]
Summary: Min Yoongi. That was the name magically tattooed to your skin. You were told he was your lover by fate. And as cute as it would be to have a soulmate, Yoongi was the last person you ever wanted to be bound to. But thankfully, there was a way to remove the tattoo. All you had to do was convince six Bulletproof Fairies that the two of you were in love.
Word Count: 3.3k'' (first chapter)
neon signs- @pantoneyoongi ♾️¶
''title ; neon signs [ drabble series ] pairing ; campus crush!yoongi x campus crush!you
description ; namjoon doesn’t think it can get any clearer outside of yoongi building a giant neon sign saying i have the absolute biggest crush on you but apparently, book smarts don’t exactly translate when it comes to you and your massive crush on min yoongi.
(alternatively: namjoon and hoseok try for three years straight to get you and yoongi together.)''
Reflection of You- @agustdakasuga ♾️Ω ¶
''Genre: Historical!AU, Timetraveller!AU/ Different Dimension, Romance
Pairing: SUGA x Reader, Yoongi x Reader
Characters: Normal!Reader, Idol!Suga, King!Yoongi, Guard!Seokjin, Guard!Jungkook, RoyalAdvisor!Namjoon, Servant!Jimin, Servant!Hoseok, Prince!Taehyung
Summary: Confirming you were dating the famous Min Suga of BTS, you knew you were bound to make some enemies. But what you didn’t expect was to be cursed, leading you to meet a cold-hearted, arrogant king that shares the same face as your rapper lover. ''
your universe- @muniimyg ♾️☻Ω ☼
''in which min yoongi refuses to lose you
+
regretting rejecting oc, min yoongi goes through a circus load of gestures and tasks in attempt to be loved again
pairings:
basketball captain // tsundere yoongi + sunshine // preschool edu major oc
au/genre:
friends to lovers
uni au
one sided pining / rejection / redemption / a sad excuse of a slow burn
smut, crack, angst
social media au + written
warnings:
implied + actual smut
angst (oc is heartbroken and trying to move on from being initially rejected)
name calling, love/hate friendships, big egos, overprotective friends, childish social culture, and a burnt out era <;3
parts:
ongoing ( ongoing/25 )''
andante cantabile- @kkulfm-2 ♾️☻¶
''pairing: myg x f!reader
genre: historical / regency au, fluff, smut
wc: 30.6k + 3.8k smutty bonus
summary: You are convinced Mr. Min is nothing but a rude and gloomy man after he leaves a horrible first impression on you. His friends' attempts to convince you otherwise are met with mixed success.''
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oneshots:
Man of The Year- @raplinesmoon ♾️¶
''pairing: single dad!Yoongi x gn!reader genre(s): pure fluff, very minor angst au(s): graduation au word count: 2.7k warnings: some swearing, Yoongi is a little nervous, Yoongi is bad at flirting, this is so cute I could cry
rating: PG
summary: For the longest time, it’s always been Yoongi and his daughter, celebrating every milestone of life together. But today, that could change.''
Shut Eye- @alpacaparkaseok ♾️
''pairing/genre: idol!Yoongi x reader, fluff
premise: In a world where every night you meet your soulmate in your dreams only to forget their face and voice when you wake up, you’re now more desperate than ever to find them.
word count: 2.6k''
gold- @aquagustd Ω♾️☻
''↣ you’re in love with Min Yoongi, yes, you are, but why do you keep thinking of the boy who broke your heart into a million pieces when you should be focusing on the one who’s mending it.
pairing: yoongi x reader (past jungkook x reader)
genre: angst, fluff, smut, bff2l
word count: 17K''
stood up. -@parkdatjimin Ω☻♾️
''Three years after dumping your toxic boyfriend, you decide it's finally time to try the dating scene again. What you don't expect is for a handsome and confident CEO to come to your rescue after being stood up.
"Just play along. My name is Yoongi and whoever stood you up is a douche."
Pairings: CEO!yoongi x fem!reader
Genre: HEAVY angst, smut, lil fluff, slice of life, mutual pining, non-idol!au''
First-Date BAIT!- @jimlingss ♾️
''Words: 11.3k
Genre: Fluff
First dates are embarrassing. First dates are awkward. I’ve been through countless ones, sitting across from people who bored the living daylights out of me. It was less exciting than watching paint dry. Some dates were so utterly rude - I think you and I both know what it’s like to be on the receiving end on that. But now we both don’t have to waste our time anymore!
With First Date Bait they went out for me! Afterwards, they informed me if it was recommended to go out on a second date. It’s amazing with a 99.99% accuracy rate! That’s how I ended up meeting my husband!
First Date Bait. Why waste your time with awkward first dates?''
DreamCatcher- @jimlingss ♾️Ω
''Words: 13k (oops)
Genre: Fluff & Angst
Summary: When your dreams are more or less nightmares, monsters inside your head that eat you alive, it seems like the only person who can help you is Min Yoongi, professional dream chaser.''
Purr-haps I like you- @taleasnewastime ♾️
''Summary: You have a no pets policy where you live, but when you find a tiny kitten in a box on the side of the road, what can you do but bring it home with you? The only problem? The landlord who made the no pets rule, also happens to be your flatmate.
Pairing: Yoongi x reader
Genre: pure fluff; Flatmates au
Word count: 11.6k''
Wild Strawberries- @yoonia ♾️☻
''➤ Character / Genre: Min Yoongi x reader/female OC (told through Yoongi’s POV) | Lucid Dream!au, fluff, smut''
first love- @jungnoir Ω♾️
''⇢ summary: yoongi meets you, seated next to him at a familiar brown piano, and he steals you away hours before your wedding day, seated next to him at a familiar brown piano + yoongi’s been in love with you since childhood and he only has the courage to tell you when you’re about to marry someone else.
⇢ relationship: min yoongi/reader.
⇢ genre: best friend!au, angst, romance.
⇢ words: 5.6k''
strike a chord- @snackhobi ♾️☻¶
''pairing: yoongi x reader // word count: 15.8k // genre: smut
summary: your idea of a good night certainly doesn't involve being stood up by yet another blind date and finding yourself alone in a fancy bar; fortunately for you, there's an attractive man playing the piano to keep you busy, instead.''
Anyone But The Groom- @yoonjinkooked ♾️Ω☻
''❅ Summary: After a meet-cute that brings all the romcoms to shame, you realize that for once in your life, the stars have finally aligned and presented you a guy that might be able to make you believe in love at first sight. Only to find out that you’re in charge of planning his Christmas Eve Wedding.
❅ Pairing: Yoongi x female reader
❅ AU: Wedding Planner reader x Arranged Marriage groom Yoongi
❅ Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, will-they-won’t-they type of relationship
❅ Word Count: 36.5k (I AM SO SORRY)''
Not Even a Mouse- @softyoongiionly ♾️☻¶
''Summary: The week before Christmas, you are tasked with delivering some paperwork to your father’s former business partner in order to secure your ownership of their legendary toy store. However, things don’t go as planned and a sudden blizzard keeps you cooped up inside the tiniest town you’ve ever seen, Snow Falls. You keep telling yourself that it’s the weather that’s keeping you here, but after a visit to Min’s Mini Mart, you aren’t so sure anymore…
Pairing: Single Dad! Yoongi x Reader
Genre: Romance, FLUFF, Smut (18+ only please)''
All I Want for Christmas (ft. Yoongi)- @hayjeon ♾️Ω
''→ singledad, CEO!yoongi x secretary!reader→ 13k words''
ceo!yoongi- @jungshookz ♾️☻☼ ¶
''→ pairing: min yoongi x reader
→ genre: ceo!au, clumsy!y/n because that’s always nice, jimin is ur best friend, floofy fluff, a touch of nsfw aka office sex
→ wordcount: 21k+ so u should probably read this using ur laptop and not ur phone''
first love | myg- @lavienjin ☻Ω
''synopsis: After an incredibly long day, Yoongi found you crying in the copy room. Though he doesn’t talk much, you’ve always found his presence comforting, and it didn’t surprise you when he stayed and listen to you vent. However, while you sought comfort in his embrace, he proposed a special offer to reduce your stress with the magic of his hands. The only catch to your arrangement? You couldn’t fall in love.
But wouldn’t you know it, just as your friendship deepens into something more, you find an old notebook sitting on his bookshelf, and in it, a collection of poems. The last entry has you reeling because it’s addressed to you. And in that page, a single line is written: Without you, I am nothing
pairing: yoongi x reader
wc: 11.3k
genre/rating/au: 18+ | fwb, coworkers, f2l au | smut, angst
warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, semi public sex, multiple smut scenes, multiple orgasms, oral (m. & f. receiving), masturbation, exhibition, lots of feelings. like a lot of feelings :(''
A Boy Like You | Yoongi- @cinnaminsvga ♾️¶
''→ summary: for whenever you are feeling low, always remember that there is a boy you know who would lift the sky for you.
{or alternatively: Min Yoongi loves you, though he never says it. He’s always been a firm believer in that actions speak louder than any words ever could.}
→ genre: coworker!au, f2l, fluff''
when the stars align- @itskimtaehyung ♾️Ω
''Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader
Genre: FakeDating!AU with a hint of roommates (well actually more like apartment-mates but roommates is catchier), College!AU, fluff, angst
Word count: 10.5k
Content/Warnings: Mentions of heavy drinking, drug usage, strong language, but also cute things like adopting a dog together
Summary: With cuffing season approaching its end, you thought you had escaped the pressures of finding a boyfriend for the holidays. That is, until your friends set you up on a blind date that goes horribly wrong. This prompts you to enlist the help of your roommate, Yoongi, to fake a relationship so your friends will stop meddling in your love life. And it turns out Yoongi is a lot better at this romance thing than you originally thought…''
p.o.v | myg- @jtrbluv ♾️Ω
''summary: you were eight when you first met your soulmate. then you were eighteen when you realized that the boy who just got hired at the local record store next door, is also your soulmate. the issue at hand: you are the only one that knows.
pairing: yoongi x reader (fem)
genre: fluff, angst, soulmate!au, redstringoffate!au, college!au, high school!au
word count: 17.9k''
Yoongi is a Rock- @yoongsisbae ♾️Ω ¶
''rock!Yoongi x reader :D fluff a bit of angst a lot of silliness
Word Count 1.3k''
android!yoongi- @jungshookz♾️Ω☻☼ ¶
''→ pairing: min yoongi x reader
→ genre: android!au becauSe for some reason android aus are popping up everywhere, the usual heaping serving of fluff and comedy, N S F W like reALLY nsfw i poPPED OFF this time i don’t know even know what happened,,, forgive me god for i have sinned, a n g s t, i definitely teared up a little writing this because i was listening to kim bum soo’s i miss you and it made me 100x more emo
→ trigger warnings: this does get a little intense! beware!!
→ wordcount: 24k like that bruno mars song''
you’re so concerned about the ending that you don’t even know the plot- @joonsgalaxy ♾️☼
''° yoongi x reader x taehyung
° 1.9 k words ° fluff/humour
🌟 you bring your broken laptop to Tae—the IT specialist—who you have a crush on. you drag your bff Yoongi along with you, who—you’re certain—has a crush on Tae too. what a mess, right? well, the thing is, you never even considered the possibility of your assumptions being totally wrong.''
better place- @cupofteaguk ♾️
''summary: you might be in love with childhood best friend Min Yoongi, and he might be in love with you—and everyone seems to know it. except for the two of you.
pairing: yoongi x fem!reader
genre: hogwarts au, friends to lovers au | fluff
warnings: slow burn, alcohol consumption, truly lowkey an idiots to lovers au word count: 14k''
something to hold on to- @fantasybangtan ♾️Ω ¶
''❦ word count. 17.7k ❦ genre. parent fic, fluff, angst, a bit of boob action ❦ warnings. illness, mention of hospitalisation, mention of minor character death, yoongi is kind of a dick sometimes, accidental(?) flashing ❦ summary. it’s not that you don’t like your job. on the contrary, reading bedtime stories to a certified little princess is something you still can’t believe you get paid to do. it’s just that between all the school runs, snow days and secret second hot chocolates before bed, you may fallen a little too hard for those dimpled cheeks and gummy smiles…. worse still, you’ve fallen for her father too.''
the proposal- @dreamescapeswriting ♾️Ω☻
''WORD COUNT: 35K (No its not missing a decimal point)
PAIRING: CEO!Yoongi x Assistant!Reader
GENRE: Smut, enemies to lovers, CEO x Assistant, fake marriage, angst, movie inspired, slow burn''
basketballcaptain!yoongi- @jungshookz ♾️☻☼ ¶
''→ pairing: min yoongi x reader
→ genre: basketball captain x water girl, cheesy cheesy stuff, the FLUFFIEST fluff, jungoo is an idiot, humour, nSFW = smut, cocky yoongi, spoiler alert yoongi does a body shot off of u it just be like that sometimes
→ wordcount: 18.4k this will definitely make the app crash as per usual don’t come for me''
Hug-o-gram- @cinnaminsvga ♾️☼ ¶
''→ summary:
“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font.
“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious.
“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.
{or alternatively: Seokjin is a terrible wingman. He also runs a profitable business by sending hugs to people’s crushes for a fee. Mix them together and you have a recipe for Min Yoongi’s worst nightmare.}
→ genre: college!au, hugging booth!au,fluff, humor → warnings: yoongi is so smitten that he’s a walking disaster, so much shy!yoongi to the point where you’ll want to scream, seokjin just tryna get his homie some y/n love coochie bro ;o; → words: 13.3K''
I Wanna Hold Your Hand- @minisugakoobies ♾️
''Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (Gender Neutral)
Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, fluff, Roommates!AU
Rating: T
Warnings: pining, a lil’ smooching, Yoongi is very persuasive, reader is easily duped, it’s as fluffy as freshly fallen snow
Word Count: 1.4K
Disclaimers: None, other than obviously I don’t own BTS - they simply inspire me
Summary: It’s hand-holding season, according to your roommate.''
subtle- @joonary ♾️Ω
''↳ summary: just another memory added to the long list of drunk memories that you’ll forget but wish you’d remember, while yoongi will remember but wish he could forget.
↳ genre: fluff; light angst; friends (?) to lovers (?); min yoongi x reader
↳ rating: pg-13
↳ warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, and yoongi’s soft spots being exposed to the light of day. yknow, just another joonary fic.
↳ word count: 3.5k''
Hobi's Girl- @jjungkookislife Ω☻
''↬ pairing: f. reader x Hoseok, f. reader x Yoongi
↬ genre: smut [18+], angst
↬ summary: Yoongi had a wonderful night with you… but you’re Hobi’s girl.
↬ wc: 4.8k''
The King Isn’t Dead- @another-army-spot ♾️Ω☻
''Pairing: Yoongi x oc (fem)
Rating: M
Word: 19.7k~ (my finger slipped?)
Genre: historical fic, smut, romance, fluff, angst, political upheaval shit
Summary: After the invasion and the King’s miraculous survival, the nation aims to secure stability and his position of power through the prospect of marriage and continuing the Min line. As a promise to your brother on the battlefield, the King promises to consider you as his potential wife - to love and to protect. Or maybe it’ll be the other way around?''
the landlord- @ppersonna ☻
''↳ summary- your air conditioner breaks right at the height of a recordbreaking heat wave. good thing your hot landlord, yoongi, knows how to attend to any needs you may have.
↳ rating- explicit / 18+
↳ word count- 4.3k
↳ pairing- yoongi x reader
↳ genre- smut, light crack, PWP''
CYBERSEX- @gimmethatagustd ♾️☻☼
''The whole point of being a phone sex hotline operator is that you’ll never have to meet your clients. So what are you supposed to do when you find out your favorite client is your brother’s best friend?
» pairing: yoongi x fem!reader
» wc/date: 14.6k | July 2022
» genre: BTS | 18+ | brother’s best friend | smut | fluff | humor
» warnings: alcohol | blowjob | car sex | creampie | dirty talk | fingering | masturbation | pet names | phone sex | pussy slapping | sex work | unprotected vaginal sex''
Jung Hoseok
hot rod- @kinktae ♾️☻
''a 1950′s inspired fic where greaser Hoseok can’t keep his eyes, or hands, off the new waitress at his and his boys’ favorite diner.
pairing: greaser!hoseok x reader
word count: 10k
genre: 1950s au, smut, fluff''
Kim Namjoon
The Bodyguard- @rmnamjoons ♾️☻Ω
''➳ summary: You’re the daughter of the ambassador to a small, peaceful, barely-on-the-map country in Western Europe, working as a diplomat to help your mother with her endless meetings and politics. After a kidnapping attempt gone wrong, you and your protective bodyguard Namjoon are on the run across Europe, jumping from trains, stealing cars, and pretending to be a couple on your honeymoon to stay hidden. As the would-be kidnappers close in, Namjoon promises you that he’s going to keep you safe, no matter the cost.
➳ pairing: bodyguard!Namjoon x reader
➳ genre: bodyguard au, romance, smut, fake dating/fake marriage, road trip (kinda), very slight angst
➳ word count: 62.9k – this is a complete, VERY long oneshot''
Show Me How- @imaginationofacrazyfangirl ☻ ¶
''Summary:You swiped right on a nerd, instead you got a Greek God. Or tired of your virginity, you decide to throw caution to the wind and find a hook up on tinder.
— PAIRING: Namjoon x f!reader
— GENRE: smut. 18+ minors dni.''
I'll continue in a pt.2
(tumblr doesn't let me write more lmao)
#bts fanfic#bts fic recs#bts friends to lovers#min yoongi fluff#yoongi fic recs#yoongi fanfic#jin fluff#jin fic recs#jin fanfic#namjoon fluff#namjoon fic recs#namjoon fanfic#hoseok fic recs#hoseok fanfic#bts f2l#bts#yoongi fluff#yoongi x reader#yoongi crack#namjoon x reader#hoseok x reader#jin x reader#bts hyung line
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Maknae Line Fic Recs. Pt1
These are not my fictions. All credit goes to the writers who have been mentioned.
Warning : All of these are 18+ content. Minors do not interact.
Please read the content warnings given by the authors before proceeding to read. 🤗 Some of these can be triggering or may make one uncomfy.
Tag system in place for easier navigation of m.lists after 3rd Feb '23 :-
#fics : added - fics added to m.lists recently
#fics : to read - fics on my to read list.
#soft hours - fics that are sfw
💫 favsss
Park Jimin
DRABBLES
Don't you Dare - @taetaebaebaepsae
Jealousy and Parties - @lovelytaes-blog
secrets trilogy - @avveh
SERIES
Kim Taehyung
DRABBLES
Player Two - @minjoonalist 💫
A Bit of Bratiness - (originally by @blkjmn), but copy pasted cause it's not there anymore by @hskrealm 💫
Carnal Cupidity - @kittae
Soft Spot - @bonny-kookoo
Work Out For Me - @chateautae 💫
Playful Dominance - @kth1 💫
Just Too Spoiled - @kookslastbutton
Hard, Harder, Hardest - @honeymoonjin 💫
SERIES
Jeon Jungkook
DRABBLES
Player Two - @minjoonalist 💫
Brat Tamer Jungkook - @your-daily-biaswrecking
Jealous Guy - @noir0neko
Arrest Me - @noir0neko
Little Miss Brat - @adonis-koo 💫
Cute Aggression - @bonny-kookoo 💫
Guitar Player - @bonny-kookoo 💫
Jackrabbit - @jamaisjoons
Only Mine - @parkhabits
Scent me - @guksthighs
Rabid - @bonny-kookoo 💫
Hunt - @bonny-kookoo 💫
Noir - @bonny-koo-koo 💫
Bitches Riding-Sequel-Jealous - @bimbo-jk
Rabbit Boy - @bonny-kookoo 💫
I could break your neck right now - @bonny-kookoo 💫
Quiet Baby - @bratkook
Annoying - @adonis-koo 💫
Peach - @rosedtae
Need To Know - @hobipost
New Reds - @breakiebunny 💫
New Beginnings New Cravings (Part 2 for NB) - @breakiebunny
Howling For You - @fortunexkookie
Perilla Leaf Drabble - @here2bbtstrash
In Bloom - @tayegi
Escape and run (GG Series) - @bonny-kookoo 💫
Take a nap (lol!) - @bonny-kookoo 💫
What would they say? (omfl) - @bonny-kookoo 💫
Who's in Control? - @bonny-kookoo 💫
Floorplay - @btsracket 💫
Heated - @whatifyoulivelikethat
Toy - @writingseoul 💫
workout. - @hskrealm 💫
SERIES
Crescent Bound - @parkhabits
Good Girl Series - @bonny-kookoo 💫
Crybaby - @lavishedinjimin 💫
Claws of Carnality - @jjungkooksthighs 💫
DILF!JK Drabble Series - @yoon2k
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series taglist: @bids97 @ggukkieland @bloopkook @canarystwin @princehyun-jin @scoupsnotscoops @eridanuswave @thebluegoddess @pb89nv @ppeachyttae @xxxxxuixxxxx @bananamochidaisy @jungkook-er @acciofirewhiskey @bbtsficrecs @luv--you @jeonkoookiee @sweetonkookieandtae @mrcleanheichou @neverthefirstchoice @lllucere @parkethereal @tsundoku-world @starbtslove @satisfied18 @wearenot7withu @hobipost @kookiesncum @jkkkkkay @apollukee @amackie1018
our beloved summer (05) | jjk
You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn't as strong as you thought.
pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader
genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, drinking, swearing, crying, Sad Boy JK Hours ??, valentino!yoongi bc that should be a whole warning 🥵 even though he's there and not really there for literally 2 seconds lol
rating: PG-15
word count: 9.5k
note: this is the most stressed out i've ever been while trying to post a fic 💀 argh anyway, 2 obs updates in one month ?? is this even real life !! consider this a (lunar) new year's present from me to everyone who celebrates it and also to everyone who doesn't !! idk i'm bad at notes and i'm delirious so that's it 😗
series masterpost / main playlist ; interactive playlist ; moodboards ; taglist
— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
Hey, I feel like if we gave it one night You'd hate me less and make it alright Just wish that we could fight now I'd hold you on the comedown
Rockland - Gracie Abrams
One thing about you, is that you don’t do well with change.
After you moved out of the first apartment you got as an adult, you constantly went back to your old neighborhood even though it wasn’t close to your new place. You kept walking those familiar streets, kept shopping at the stores where the workers knew your name. At night, you still pictured yourself living there, with all of your furniture and clothes and decorations that you’ve already emptied from those old bones. Then, you imagined what the new tenant was like, if they could feel the lingering love you had for that apartment. You wondered if they were putting the coffee table you left behind to good use, or if they thought that it looked out of place among all of their belongings and had already thrown it away.
Jimin called you weird for that, but he didn’t know that you always leave a piece of yourself everywhere you go. The biggest pieces, you think, are hidden somewhere in a closet in your childhood bedroom where your mother still lives, and in the tiny space of your dorm room where you spent most of your college years.
It took you more than half a year to finally start considering your new apartment home.
Because you hate change. Change is scary. Change is walking into a pitch-black tunnel with no flashlight, not knowing what awaits you in the darkness and not knowing if you’ll make it to the other side.
That isn’t to say that change is inherently bad. You’ve experienced good changes before. Arguably, Jungkook was a good change when he went from someone you couldn’t tolerate, to the love of your life back then. You were happy with him, so blissfully happy that for a while, you forgot what it was like to experience any other emotion.
Yoongi has always been your friend. It didn’t take you two very long to become well acquainted with one another and from there, develop a good friendship. You have never thought of him as anything other than a friend. Even when he was your boss, he still felt more like a friend.
As you sit next to him in a bar too empty for your liking – but seems right for a Tuesday night –
When your phone vibrates with a notification, you glance at it only to exhale annoyedly – unclear whether this frustration is directed toward yourself, or the person blowing up your mobile; maybe it’s both. That’s the nth message that Jungkook has sent you in the last couple of hours, and you don’t need to read it to know that it’s probably another iteration of the same apology. How many different ways are there to say “Hey, I’m sorry for fucking the receptionist and then having the balls to tell you that you’re the unprofessional one when you didn’t even do anything.” Apparently a lot, because the texts just keep coming.
“Jungkook again?” Yoongi asks from beside you. Fuck. You’ve mostly been silently moping since he brought you here, too enmeshed in your own web of muddled thoughts that you forgot he’s someone you need to make amends with too.
You give him a nod but still continue to stare at the drink in front of you, trying to disentangle your Yoongi thoughts from your Jungkook ones.
Taking a sip of your drink, your face manages to keep a grimace at bay as the liquid ambushes your tastebuds. You don’t like whiskey, but you need something to hate more than yourself tonight. When you set the glass down, the alcohol sloshes around like a compact sea of your own amber-colored miseries.
“I’m sorry,” you say finally. “This is unfair to you. I don’t know what came over me. I just want you to know that this isn’t me responding to…” To your confession.
“If you’re about to say what I think you’re about to say, then I have to stop you right now.”
“Yoongi…”
“I’m not saying that you can’t turn me down, although I hope you don’t do that,” he chuckles. “I’m just saying that whatever you do, whether you give me a chance or reject me, I want you to decide after you’ve really thought about it, about me.”
You can’t say no to that; it’s only fair. Yoongi knows what he deserves. You haven’t looked at him in any other way, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t. Didn’t you say it yourself, that maybe you should start putting yourself out there? Well, here is someone coming to you before you even have to look anywhere. You may not have expected Yoongi, but then, you didn’t expect Jungkook either.
Yoongi could be the good change you need.
Nevertheless, you want to tell him you’re sorry for the other night. It should be fairly simple, but the words have a hard time dislodging themselves from your throat.
“I’m sorry about what I said that night at dinner… and what I did…”
Yoongi props an elbow on the bar top and leans forward to rest his chin in the palm of his hand, his eyes glimmering with mischief. “Remind me what it is that you did again?”
“Come on, I’m serious.” You are grateful that he’s trying to keep it light, though.
“I’m serious too. I seem to have forgotten.”
“Yoongi…”
“Yes, Y/N?”
You sigh, shutting your eyes momentarily. Recalling the moment makes you flush with embarrassment, bringing a splash of color to your cheeks which Yoongi always seems to enjoy.
In a quiet voice, you say, “I’m sorry for throwing salt at you…”
“You threw salt at me!” He tips his head back, laughing freely. The bartender spares you two a glance at the sudden disruption. “You shouldn’t go around throwing salt at people!”
“Stop laughing! I’m trying to apologize.” You punch his arm out of habit and for a second there, you forget that your relationship with Yoongi isn’t the same anymore. Changed forever.
“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Jeez, why are you so violent?” He rubs the spot where you hit him, muttering under his breath something about him bruising like a peach. “Apology accepted. No hard feelings.”
“Okay, good. But I still want you to know that if you were expecting anything from tonight…”
Yoongi ruffles your hair with a scoff. “I’m not that dense. Of course I’m not expecting anything.” When you peer at him with curious and unsure eyes, he continues, “Y/N, earlier you looked like you wanted to set the place on fire and Jungkook looked like he was about to shit himself. Tonight, I’m just a friend who’s here for you if you want to vent. We’re just two buddies having a drink, that’s all.”
He makes it sound so simple, while your brain is already going haywire.
Despite yourself, you chuckle at his words. You tell him how much you appreciate it, though you don’t really tell him anything about what happened this afternoon, just that Jungkook said some stuff that pissed you off. You can’t tell him exactly what Jungkook did to anger you without alluding to the confession for which Yoongi is letting you off the hook for now.
“Do you wanna come with me tomorrow?” Yoongi asks.
“Come with you where?”
“I have a shoot with Valentino in the morning.”
“You have a photoshoot not even 12 hours from now and you’re here drinking? Aren’t you gonna wake up puffy or something?”
“Yeah, my manager would kill me if she knows what I’m doing,” he replies casually, like his manager has a telepathic connection with him and she can sense him mocking her over a drink. When people see Agust D, they tend to only see the icy exterior that he dons. That tough, maybe even callous, image has sustained him in the entertainment industry for years. For many, Agust D seems intimidating and unapproachable. That’s how you felt when you first met him too. But after a while, you got to see Min Yoongi, and Min Yoongi is nothing if not warm and tender-hearted, even if he’s a little shit sometimes. At least, that’s what he has always been like to you. “She thinks I’m getting my beauty sleep right now.”
You lightly snort at that, telling him, “Yeah, you need it.”
When you start to yawn, Yoongi calls a driver to drop you off at your place. The ride is mostly silent, because you’re tired and because you’re not sure what to say to Yoongi in the presence of a stranger taking you home. The car pulls up to your building soon enough, and before you can step out and tell him goodnight, he offers to walk you up. He takes the elevator with you to your floor, how gallant but unnecessary. When you reach your door, you wonder whether you should invite him in for a glass of water or something. If this was a week – or even just a couple of days – earlier, you would’ve had no reason to hesitate. He doesn’t ask if he can come in but instead takes one of your hands.
“I see you’ve been giving yourself some TLC. They’re a lot better now,” he comments, smoothing his thumb over your skin. You’ve been diligent with your hand care routine since he gave you that lotion. It feels nice, and it smells amazing. Besides, your hands were starting to hurt anyway.
Silence descends upon the two of you as you become aware of Yoongi touching you, and the weight of the answer you’ve yet to give him. He must feel you stiffen, because he lets you go and smiles.
“Relax, princess. Get some sleep, you’re the one who needs it. I said I’ll let you think about it, didn’t I? Stop stressing so much.” His index finger taps your cheek playfully, so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. The wink that he tacks on makes you roll your eyes. You watch Yoongi make his way to the elevator, step in and press the button for the ground floor. He maintains eye contact with you as he waits for the doors to shut, and you don’t think you’ve really noticed before how Yoongi carries himself with such confidence and poise even when he’s off-camera. That’s just the kind of person he is and it’s… kind of attractive.
You can’t even fish around in your bag for your keys, you just stand there because he keeps your gaze trained on him. His eyes are alluring even under the shitty lighting of your building’s elevator. Before the lift closes, his voice carries over from the metal box to your door, and you don’t know if it’s the echo of his low timbre in the empty hallway that makes you shiver, or if it’s just Yoongi.
“I’ve waited this long, what’s a little more time?”
One week. This is a record for you and Taehyung.
You’re still baffled by his attitude that night, and no one has cleared anything up for you. He was right, but that doesn’t mean you were wrong. You stand by your initial reaction. Could anyone really blame you for that? In your defense, who the fuck could believe that a worldclass megastar has romantic feelings for them? Not to mention that the person whom the megastar in question has feelings for is you! You, the pathetic girl who can’t seem to get over her ex. Yoongi had to sit through a whole hour of you drunkenly crying over Jungkook, for fuck’s sake!
That really wasn’t your best moment, but it’s not like you even remember it anyway.
Your phone buzzes to life with Jimin’s face taking over the whole screen – a photo of your hand squishing his full cheeks until his lips jut out. “Hey Minnie,” you greet him once you’ve swiped to accept the call.
“Y/N,” he says, sounding out of breath. “Where are you?”
“I’m at home. Where are you? Are you doing pull-ups again? You know you practically hyperventilate when you do more than 3.”
“Shut up, I’m at dance practice. But listen, have you talked to Tae yet?”
You purse your lips at the mention of his name. “No. We’re supposed to go grocery shopping tomorrow like we always do, but I guess that won’t be happening.”
Jimin hums, like he’s in thought. He doesn’t speak again until his breathing has calmed. “Well, can you go to his place right now?”
“Why?”
“He’s sick and I’m kind of worried about him. He hasn’t answered my messages.”
You frown. “Tae’s sick?”
“Yeah, he must’ve caught a cold the other day. Could you go over there and check on him? I would go but I can’t leave for another few hours.”
You agree to go, because of course you would. Even if you’re stubborn and hot-headed, no amount of pettiness could make you ignore your friends especially when they’re unwell and need somebody. Especially when it’s Taehyung who’s been there for you so many times.
You stay on the call with Jimin for another ten whole minutes even after you have said you would go, because he keeps droning on and on about how shitty Taehyung looked yesterday.
Before you go to your best friend’s apartment, you stop by your regular diner to pick up some comfort food for him, and the pharmacy for some medicine. During the rest of the drive there, you start getting a little worried. When Taehyung takes care of a sick you or Jimin, he practically goes into full mama bear mode, making sure that you’re as comfortable as humanly possible and not leaving your side until you’re a functional human being again. But when it comes to his own wellbeing, Taehyung doesn’t seem to be that concerned. It’s not that he neglects his health, but you wish that he would show himself the same kindness that he shows you.
It feels weird to use the spare key that you have to his place, considering that you aren’t really on speaking terms. In hindsight, it feels so childish. How old are you to still be pulling the silent treatment on each other?
You ring the doorbell and wait a couple minutes until you hear Taehyung shuffling to get the door from the other side. When it swings open, he tenses up a bit, not expecting to see you at all. His hair is damp; he must’ve just gotten out of the shower. Taehyung doesn’t look as bad as Jimin described though. Just some dark circles under his eyes.
You raise a hand and wave. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he parrots somewhat awkwardly. It’s understandable; neither of you thought you’d be the one to break the ice. “What are you doing here?”
Bringing your other hand up, you show him the bag you’re holding. “Brought you soup and cold meds. Jimin said you’re sick.”
His brows knit together in confusion. “Thanks…” he says slowly, “but I’m not sick?”
“But Jimin said you caught a cold and you’ve been wheezing like a dying fisherman and–” You purse your lips, catching onto what’s really happening here. “He tricked me, didn’t he?”
Park Jimin…
Taehyung tuts under his breath, shaking his head at the ground. “Mhmm.”
“He could go into acting. He sounded really worried on the phone, like you were on the verge of death.”
“No, yeah, he really could,” Taehyung agrees. “Jimin is bizarrely good at lying sometimes. We should be worried about that.”
You laugh, and that makes him feel like the air is relaxed enough for him to laugh too. It only lasts a few seconds before you’re left staring at each other again. You hate it. You really, really hate it.
You thought that the universe sent you a sign, gave you a reason to come over and make nice with your best friend. Turns out that “the universe” is really just Park Jimin and his scheming tongue. But you’re already here, and you have to talk to him eventually. Jimin might have lied, but you would’ve just waited for Taehyung to reach out first to offer an olive branch anyway.
“Well, can I come in?” you ask. It’s weird that you even have to ask.
“Of course,” he says absentmindedly, stepping to one side to let you in. He takes the bag from your hand and brings it to the kitchen while you kick off your shoes and change into the pair of fuzzy bear slippers that he keeps for you here.
You want to tell him what happened as much as you hate admitting that you were wrong.
“Have you eaten?” you ask, a sad attempt at delaying what will inevitably come.
“No,” comes his simple reply.
“Should we eat? I bought enough for two people.”
“But I’m not sick.”
“You don’t have to be sick to eat chicken noodle soup.”
Taehyung looks at you like the thought has genuinely never crossed his mind. “Interesting… Okay, then.”
You put on an episode of your favorite show while he heats up the food. When you both sit down to eat, it’s mostly silent while the TV continues to play. The most you and Taehyung thing that you exchange in these 30 minutes is him saying soup tastes like shit when you’re not actually sick, and you telling him to stop being such a hater. When you both finish, Taehyung rinses the bowls and puts them in his dishwasher.
Before you came over, you thought you would only be making him eat, take his meds, and sit there for a bit while he sleeps. If you had known this would happen, you would’ve prepared yourself for it.
But then again, you were tricked into coming.
Ugh. Just do it. You are so freaking dramatic.
“Well,” you start, keeping your voice light and trying not to stand around like you’re out of place in his apartment, “you were right.”
“About what?” Taehyung asks, wiping his hands on a towel.
“About Yoongi and… all that.”
“Oh.” His expression is one you aren’t too familiar with. There’s surprise – yes, that you’re making peace with him – in the way his brows slightly lift, but there’s something else too. Something odd that you can’t quite put a finger on, and it makes you slightly uneasy because you don’t like it when you can’t read Taehyung.
He’s pretty quick to mask it, and it makes you even more conscious that there’s something he isn’t telling you. Of course, this feeling is miniscule, practically a seed compared to the blooming garden of nerves that the events of these past few days have dumped upon you, so you can’t categorize it as a high-level priority to nitpick. You need to deal with your main concerns first, aka what to do about Yoongi and Jungkook, both individually and together, and then you can begin to inspect what’s going on with Taehyung.
It all sounds so easy in theory.
Taehyung goes to the couch and you wordlessly follow. You sit down when he pats the spot next to him – your spot. “How did you come to that conclusion?” he asks. “You know I don’t get to hear you tell me I’m right very often.”
Because you aren’t right very often, is what you almost say. It’s light and playful, and you both know it would diffuse the leftover tension, but you chuck the words aside in favor of something more serious. There isn’t that much to catch him up on, but there is a lot to unpack from the few things that did transpire over the last few days.
You give him a recap of what happened with Yoongi and subsequently what happened with Jungkook. Those are the two things weighing the most on your mind. You haven’t really processed anything; blame it on Yoongi for telling you that you have time to think things through.
One thing you love about Taehyung is that he doesn’t tell you what to do, but rather helps you sort things out on your own. Come to think of it, these conversations often take place on his couch. He’s like your own personal therapist at this point.
“Can you give me a hug?” You probably can’t ask a licensed therapist to do this, though.
He softens even more with a smile. Opening his arms, he says, “C’mere.”
You shuffle over to sink into his embrace. You sigh as you practically melt in his hold. Taehyung is a little bony, but hugging him feels exactly like hugging a giant teddy bear. He’s soft, and always knows how to hold you just tight enough, how to stroke your hair the way you like, how to be just the comforting presence you need amidst a whirlwind of anxious thoughts. And he smells like jasmine, though that might be because you keep deliberately gifting him colognes with scents that you like.
With your chin perched on his shoulder, you feel yourself start to relax, walls coming down if only briefly.
“You okay?” Taehyung asks after a moment.
You’re suddenly aware that you’re crying. You don’t know how it started, but now that the waterworks have begun, it seems like there’s no stopping. “No,” you sniffle. “Can I just…”
You feel him exhale. “Of course.”
Taehyung is one of the few people – oh who are you kidding? He might be the only one – whom you feel comfortable enough around to let yourself cry to your heart’s content.
You’ve been feeling it for days now, even before all that shit happened. Every cell in your body is constantly vibrating, with anxiety, with guilt, with a heaviness that sinks into your bones. You’re shaking even when your hands are perfectly still. People, memories, thoughts you keep only to yourself – they all phase through you, not giving you a single moment to catch your breath.
When it rains, it pours.
Everything is weighing you down like someone has tied you to an anchor and pushed you into the unrelenting, unforgiving water. Grief is an ocean and you don’t know how to swim. Your job, your friends, the unbridled mess that you call a love life… Everything is changing and you’re the same. You’re different, but somehow still the same. Deep down, you’re still that scared little girl who doesn’t know what to make of the world. Your knees are bleeding but your mother is telling you not to cry. Why can’t you cry when you’re hurting? Every minute feels like a lifetime but every day feels like it’s going by in two seconds. Things are moving so fast. Things are moving too slow. You can’t remember the last time you actually cried. Really cried. Bawled. Sobbed. Let out all the dirt until you can see your roots again. Until you originate back to being a blank canvas. Sometimes it feels like that’s the only way that can help you see things more clearly. Your vision might blur for a while but afterward, it’ll have washed everything away. At least a little bit. So you can get your footing again.
You miss clarity, or the illusion that you have any control over your life. You miss looking out the window and have something to look forward to, even on overcast days where the sun can’t be bothered to bring you light. You miss hearing your heart beat a melody that doesn’t ache, doesn’t rattle you to the core. Pieces of you have been held together by nothing but tape and glue for the longest time. Eventually, they’ll deteriorate, and you’ll go back to being skin and bones always on the verge of falling apart.
Some of your best writing was never meant for anybody to hear. The best lines that you’ve scribbled down are diary entries disguised as music, as poetry. They’re results of your lowest and weakest moments, it just happens that there was a journal lying around and you thought that if you had to keep all that sadness inside for a second longer, you would burst. Those immortalized lines represent your heartbreak, your self-hatred, your sorrow and your grief. They come from a lifetime of unshed tears, from the burden of having a heart that feels too much but is always silenced. Words are your escape when time rushes through you like a child skipping stones. Everything hurts all the time but no one knows and you don’t bother explaining to anyone how you wish you could be a different person living a different life because it seems like the universe has made a mistake with this one. How it feels like a divine power has miscalculated and misread your false stoicism as resilience. Just because a person carries it well doesn’t mean they have to carry it at all.
Sometimes you like to muse that if anyone could catch a glimpse of what it’s like inside, they’d think, Wow. How are you holding all of that weight? How are you so silent through it all? How do you live with an ache so allconsuming that I can hardly see you underneath it?
It’s the only way you know how to express yourself. But even then, when you’re screaming and burning, you’re still quiet. Those words are your heart on paper, raw and bleeding all over the place, covered in a million cracks that no one can see or even pay enough attention to notice. They’re there whether anybody likes it or not. They’re right there, red ink staining white pages, begging in a voice small like a child asking for love. Please see me. I’m here. Nobody taught me how to swim. Please see me.
But nobody does. They walk past you every day. They sit with you, smile at you and laugh with you. They leave you. They stay. They break your heart. Even when they love you, nobody sees you.
You love Taehyung, but you don’t think he understands. He knows you better than almost everyone in this world and he tries to help you in any way he can, but at the end of the day, maybe this isn’t something that a person can understand even if they want to. It’s worse, to realize that perhaps it isn’t because people don’t care enough to see it, but that no matter how hard they try, they can’t.
The only person who has ever come the closest is Jungkook, with his big doe eyes that always see through you and see into you. Sometimes, you think there might be parts of you that he could see but you still don’t. He knew things about yourself that you never want anybody to find out, and he loved you anyway. He went the lengths that nobody ever did because they all gave up after a while. Someone once told you that you felt like a fortress wall impossible to climb, that nobody had the time, the patience to wait for you. In other words, you weren’t worth it. Not worthless, just not worth the effort it would take to break down your walls.
But Jungkook showed up and tried, every day. The one person that you never saw coming. You might have resisted at first, but then you became his biggest supporter. You were rooting for him to know you, how fucked up is that? You were right there. He was so close.
And then he stopped.
You suppose that’s what makes everything awful now – to know that you should let go of him when he’s the only person who ever came that close.
You don’t know how long Taehyung has had to sit here, comforting you like this, but at one point, your stomach starts growling and you feel your best friend trying to hold back a giggle. Jungkook might have mastered the art of loving you, but Taehyung is an expert at comforting you.
“Shut up.” You wipe away the dampness on your cheeks with the back of your hand and push Taehyung off. “Crying makes me hungry.”
“Should I order us fried chicken then?”
“And soju. Get some soju too.”
Jimin is a strategic trickster. There was no dance practice. He just ran around his apartment ten times until his breathing turned ragged, which if you ask anyone, was completely unnecessary. He’s very extra, but at least it was effective.
After he got off the phone with you, Jimin immediately went to your shared phone tracker app – today was one of those times where it proves to be the most useful. He stared at the little circle with a silly photo of you as it moved from your address to Taehyung’s with a couple pit stops along the way. Jimin giggled to himself when he saw your circle meet Taehyung’s, because at that point you two must have realized already that you’d been swindled. Of course, there was always a chance of you leaving the moment you figured out you had come all that way for no reason at all, but when Jimin saw after a couple of hours that the two circles are still next to each other, he knew that you and Taehyung made up already.
Jimin sends a message to your group chat, a simple hello but Taehyung knows what he’s trying to get at. The text thread shared by the three of you lights up with a selfie of you and Taehyung each holding a chicken drumstick and wearing a content smile. In the background, there are some soju bottles, a box of chicken and some fries.
Jimin doesn’t question why your eyes look a little puffier than usual. He just replies with a smiley emoji and a thumbs up. The triumph of his mini victory almost makes him forget that there’s someone else in his home.
Jungkook peeks over Jimin’s shoulder to peek at his phone, curious to see what’s making his friend so delighted. When he sees you and Taehyung on Jimin’s screen, he sinks again, heart sitting in the pit of his stomach. The words you told him just the day before ring loud in his ears, as if they haven’t been stuck on his mind, playing on a loop.
You’re such a fucking hypocrite.
You weren’t wrong, but man, did that feel like a punch in the gut.
He goes to sit across from Jimin, taking note of every single sound that notifies his friend of a new message. For the first time, he feels like an outsider, like he’s intruding on a private moment.
“I fucked up,” Jungkook admits quietly, cracking open a can of beer and taking a long sip. It makes Jimin look up and put away his phone. “With Y/N,” Jungkook clarifies.
“Yeah, I’ve been informed. That was the stupidest thing you’ve done in a while.”
“In a while? When was the last time I did something stupid?”
Jimin doesn’t even have to think about it. He answers right away, “When you left her.”
Jungkook hums, unclear whether the noise is meant in agreement or just in acknowledgment. His tongue darts out to swipe across his dry lips before he breathes out. “I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t replied to any of my texts. I feel like a fucking asshole.”
“From what I’ve been told, you were a fucking asshole,” Jimin says lightly, his words emphasized with a chuckle like he finds Jungkook’s predicament so funny. “I can’t believe you would say that shit about Yoongi to her right after he confessed.”
Cue a pregnant pause, and a pair of doe eyes staring right into Jimin’s skull, unable to decipher if what he’s hearing is a joke or not.
“Yoongi– what?”
Jimin slaps himself internally. Shit. It slipped, he swears. “Nothing,” he sighs, but he knows it wouldn’t be dropped so easily.
“No. Not nothing,” Jungkook sits up straight and puts his chilled beer down on the table, missing the coaster entirely just to piss off his friend. “The fuck do you mean Yoongi confessed? Confessed what?”
Jimin sighs with pursed lips. “What else? What do you think he confessed to?”
Jungkook gulps, and blinks a few times. When? Why? Was that the reason you looked so distraught yesterday before all that shit went down between you and him? Who confesses to someone in a freaking break room?
Then Jungkook remembers that you and Yoongi went out for drinks last night. What did he say? What did you say? His stomach churns at the thought of something… happening between the two of you.
Jimin takes in his friend’s dumbfounded expression. “Why are you shocked?” he asks. “I thought you expected something like this. Isn’t it why you spewed all that crap about Yoongi flirting with her?”
“Fuck, I don’t know! It feels like the guy is out to get me for some goddamn reason. I thought he was just playing with Y/N to piss me off!”
Jimin shakes his head, looking thoughtful. “Yoongi wouldn’t do that to her.”
“How would you know?”
“Because when they first worked together, from the things that she told us, the stuff that Yoongi would do for her, Taehyung and I thought he liked her back then too,” Jimin says. “This has nothing to do with you.”
It sucks. It fucking sucks.
“Should I go over there?” Jungkook asks, a newfound sense of urgency in his voice that borderlines panic. He’s acting like this fact that Jimin just dumped upon him is unraveling just as this conversation is taking place, but in reality, he’s one of the last people to know.
“And tell her what? If you’ve said sorry a million times and she hasn’t responded, then saying it one more time won’t change anything.”
“What am I supposed to do when I see her tomorrow?”
“Nothing? Are you incapable of leaving things alone? If she wants to ignore you, let her ignore you. If she wants to yell at you, let her yell at you. If she wants nothing to do with you, let her do that too. Why do you keep making things worse for yourself?”
Jungkook runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “So your solution is for me to just let her hate me?”
Jimin levels him with a look, which just annoys him even more. “You had no problem with that before.”
“If you’re not gonna help me, should I ask Taehyung then?”
“Don’t go to Tae about this.”
“Why not?”
“Just don’t,” Jimin snaps, and it makes Jungkook falter for a few seconds before the petulance in him clouds his better judgment.
“Why? He’s her best friend. They’re practically joined at the hip. He’s gotta be able to help me with this.”
“You really want to go to Taehyung for advice on how to suck up to your ex-girlfriend? He’s the most protective of her. What makes you think he would be willing to help you?”
“He’s my friend too, isn’t he? Shouldn’t he want to help all of us be civil with each other?”
“Yeah, he’s your friend. I’m your friend and Y/N’s too. And you’re right, all of us should get along, but we shouldn’t be put in a situation where we’d have to try. You did that to us and nothing is going to be the same again. I don’t even know why you did it. You kept your mouth shut for years no matter how hard me and Taehyung tried to get it out of you. Now you suddenly can’t make peace with the consequences of your actions? Now you want us to help you win over the person you fucked over, who is also our closest friend? I don’t get you, JK. I’m starting to regret not letting Taehyung punch you back then.”
Jungkook stares at his friend. Is this shock that he’s feeling? He still remembers that night, because he doesn’t forget a lot of things. He can’t forget it. He had never seen Taehyung – who is usually so calm and cordial – get that angry before. His friend, who is a saint of a man, felt so much rage toward Jungkook that Jimin had to physically hold him back.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jimin asks. “You’re not used to me not being on your side all the time?”
He knows that. The only person who seems to be on Jungkook’s side is himself, and sometimes he isn’t sure if this is even true at all. What you told him at the dance studio’s opening party, what Jimin is telling him now, and even the things that Taehyung shouted at him a couple of years back – it’s all true. He knows these things already, but it feels different to hear them from other people. You’re all right; nobody is overreacting. To an outsider, it might come across as harsh, but to anyone who knows anything, it’s rightfully deserved.
Nevertheless, Jungkook admits quietly, “Actually, yeah.”
Jimin sighs, because he knows that his friend has no malicious intent toward you or toward anyone. Jimin knows that Jungkook doesn’t mean to hurt you, any more than he already has. Jungkook is even more crazed now that Yoongi is somehow a factor in all of this. It’s the insecurities bubbling at the surface. He’s panicking and he can’t even see straight. This is just his own stupid take on fight or flight. It was flight for a while, and now apparently it’s not. Jimin doesn’t really understand it, but he gets that this is his friend’s way of dealing with shit. “I tried, man. I did. But it’s really, really hard to have your back on this.”
Jungkook is well aware of it too – that to leave you alone is probably the best thing he can do at this point. Everything he says or does seems to backfire; instead of pulling you closer, all he manages to do is push you further away and make you hate him more than you already do.
But in a way, isn’t that a good thing? Better to have you hate him than be indifferent toward him. After all, there’s a thin line between love and hate. You yourself blurred this line long ago. You can do it again, can’t you?
Jungkook sits there for a while longer to finish his beer, even though he doesn’t have anything else to say. It’s clear what Jimin’s stance on this is, and no matter what he says, it’s unlikely that anyone will help him try and get back in your good graces.
Before he leaves, Jimin says something that makes him nauseous. Makes him want to fucking cry and kick something and speed over to your apartment just so you could reassure Jungkook that he’s still the one you hate the most. That all of your feelings, whether they’re good or bad, are still reserved for him and only him.
It isn’t what his best friend should tell him, but it’s what a good friend would say. It's not about Jungkook, it's not about Jimin or Taehyung or anyone else. It's about you, who has been hurt the most here.
“If she wants to choose Yoongi, let her do that too.”
[10:48] Yoongi: Attachment: 2 Images.
[10:49] Yoongi: got yelled at for showing up puffy yesterday
You tap on the notifications and the photos pop up within seconds. It’s Yoongi at his Valentino shoot probably. He never used to send you stuff like this, nor asked you to come watch him at his photoshoots. Why would he?
You zoom in on his face to inspect if he really was puffy, but you can’t really tell. Maybe if you were a makeup artist with a sharper eye, you would see it. But under your regular-person gaze, everything seemed fine. Yoongi looked handsome in the pictures.
[10:55] You: you don’t look puffy to me
[10:57] Yoongi: so how do i look to you? ;)
[10:58] You: the fits look good
[11:01] Yoongi: i wasn’t asking about the fits
[11:05] You: and i’m telling you the fits look good anyway
[11:07] Yoongi: what about the model?
[11:10] You: are you fishing for compliments?
[11:11] Yoongi: what if i am?
[11:14] You: the model looks Not Puffy
[11:16] Yoongi: you’re no fun ;(
You consider your next reply for a moment. It doesn’t seem like that big a deal. You want to send it. It seems innocent enough, and it’s the truth. A simple praise can’t hurt, right?
Your fingertips tingle just typing the words out. You’re suddenly so jittery for some reason as your thumb hovers over the arrow symbol that would whoosh away your message. It's a good kind of jittery. You might even say that you’re excited.
[11:22] You: the model looks good too
You put your phone face-down on the table, not even checking when it vibrates with Yoongi’s response to your latest text. It’s so weird that you’re feeling like this, maybe because it’s been so long since someone has shown an actual interest in you? Or is it because it’s Yoongi? If it were anyone else, would you still react the same?
It’s weird, but not necessarily weird in a bad way. You just aren’t used to it, or it’s been such a long time that you forgot what it feels like to be… wanted? You don’t think about it often but it’s true, you’ve missed the thrill of being chased.
“So… word on the street is you have a secret song.”
Seokjin’s voice makes you glance up, wondering who he could be talking to when the only people in the room beside him are you and Jungkook – whom you haven’t spoken a word to all morning despite him glancing not-so-subtly at you every two seconds. When you got here this morning, there was already a chai latte on the table with your name on it. The order was too specific for it to be Seokjin, but you didn’t say anything.
“The street?” you ponder for a moment, knowing exactly who the culprit is. “Is that what Yoongi calls himself these days? He’s been here for what? A couple weeks? And he’s already blabbed to you.”
“So it’s true?” Seokjin leans back in his chair, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yoongi said it’s real good. Top shelf kinda stuff. And you know he never says things like that.”
It’s not a song, or at least that isn’t what you would call it. Maybe more like an essay composed of sentences that go together like misfit puzzle pieces. You don’t think you would ever rework it and pitch it to anyone because it’s yours and it’s personal. You would never tell anyone about it, and Yoongi wouldn’t have come to know about its existence if he hadn’t stumbled across it in your journal by accident.
“Don’t listen to Yoongi,” you say. “At this point, I feel like you should know that Yoongi tends to exaggerate sometimes.”
“He never seems to be exaggerating when it comes to you,” Seokjin muses. You almost blush, thinking about what else Yoongi could’ve told Seokjin. He doesn’t notice the split second in which your cheeks redden just the slightest, or he doesn’t mind it enough to comment. “What’s the title?”
You shrug, saying nothing.
“You can’t even tell me the title? Damn, Y/N. Are you the CIA?”
“I’m not telling you because there is no title. There’s not even a song, just something I go back to sometimes. It’s mostly just word vomit. I promise you, it’s nothing.”
“Tell that to Yoongi. He told me whoever’s gonna get that song is one hell of a lucky bastard.”
Again, what is it with the praise? You know working with Yoongi and being associated with his last album gave your career a boost, but you weren’t aware that he was talking about you with other people. Maybe he only does it with Seokjin because they’re close, but still, it makes you itch with curiosity.
“By any chance are you gonna give it to… me?” Seokjin asks, and seems to immediately hear how flawed it sounds. You stare at him blankly, trying to bite back an amused smile, and even Jungkook turns his head to look too. Seokjin’s ears turn red in an instant. “Okay, that came out kinda wrong. I’m really, really sorry. But you know what I mean.”
You continue to stare at him until his face is so flushed, you swear he’s like a tomato that’s about to burst. You can see why Yoongi likes to tease people this way. “Okay, boss,” you acquiesce with a laugh, relieving Seokjin of the fear that he genuinely offended you. “If the song ever gets to see the light of day, I’ll make sure to ask you to lend your voice.”
“Ah, so you admit it’s a song.” He grins brightly at your empty promise, making you roll your eyes half-heartedly. He goes back to his normal shade in a minute, no longer ridiculously red like a cartoon character. “What’s it about?”
You ponder his question silently, missing the way Jungkook takes this moment to glance at you. When you look up again, he’s already averting his gaze.
What is it about? That’s a question that you yourself have never really considered. It’s about everything and it’s about nothing. It’s love, it’s loss, it’s the infinite in-between. You give Seokjin an answer that won’t satisfy him, but it’s the truth.
“I haven’t figured it out yet. I’ll let you know when I do.”
He tuts at you, like he was expecting the obscurity from you anyway. “You’re really not beating the CIA allegations,” he says.
You flip him the bird, which only compels him to stick out his tongue and make a face at you. Then, he diverts his attention to the person who hasn’t contributed anything this whole time.
“JK, why are you so quiet today? We’re not gonna eat you.”
Jungkook mutters something to Seokjin that you don’t quite catch because the words come out of his mouth like an inarticulate mess, which is so unlike him. He sounds jumpy, like he’s too nervous to speak in front of you. Seokjin’s eyes land on you again as he mouths a confused What?
You just shrug, and Seokjin has to take Jungkook’s weird response as him having an off day. The man checks his phone, lets out a quiet whine, then addresses the both of you. “I have a shoot this afternoon so you two will have to hold down the fort, by the way.”
You come back from your solo lunch date to an empty studio.
Well, almost empty. There’s something new that wasn’t there before.
Another chai latte waiting for you equates to another apology hoping to be acknowledged. The paper cup is still hot when your hand reaches out to touch it. You sink into your chair with a sigh. You could laugh at yourself for feeling so nostalgic at the sight of a beverage in the middle of a workday.
Jungkook walks in about 15 minutes later, and the air turns suffocating at his arrival. He feels it too, you know he does.
You chew on your bottom lip until it starts to hurt, bite down on it until it almost bleeds.
“Jungkook,” you say, catching his attention. It looks like he didn’t expect you to initiate any conversation. It’s not like you want to, but you have to. You keep having to do this, because he just wouldn’t listen. “Stop buying me drinks.”
It translates to: Stop saying sorry. Stop trying to make things right. Stop doing things you think would make me happy. Stop making me have the same argument with you over and over again.
“Because you wouldn’t hear me out,” he says, and proceeds to repeat the one thing that you’re sick of hearing from him. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” you verbalize it. “If it’s not about work, I don’t think it’s necessary for me to hear it, Jungkook. I don’t want to hear it.”
“You do need to hear it. Because I can’t function properly until you know how sorry I am.”
“Well, that sounds like a you problem.”
“Y/N.”
“What?”
“Hear me out,” he says, sounding a little firmer now but you still catch the crack in his voice. “Please.”
Jungkook must take the way you hesitate to shut down him as reluctant permission for him to keep going, because he stands up and moves to a spot closer to you. Not close enough that he could reach out and touch you, but enough for you to see the tiny mole under his bottom lip and how it quivers when he looks at you.
Fuck. You’re letting him win again.
“Okay, fine. Talk then. I’m listening. You’re sorry, right? You keep saying you’re sorry for everything, but what exactly is everything? What are you even sorry about? Are you sorry about annoying me right now, or are you sorry about being a prick the other day, or are you sorry about leaving me five years ago?”
“When did you become this pathetic, Jungkook?”
“W–what?”
“When did you become so pathetic?” you repeat. “If you had to come back, couldn’t you come back as someone better? Someone who’s sure of himself and has a good life, not this… person who has to grovel at my feet for forgiveness. Even when you were at your lowest, you weren’t like this. I don’t even know who this Jungkook is. What happened to you?”
If you think that you saw him at his lowest, then you’re wrong. He didn’t hit rock bottom until he’d left you and had to live with what he chose to do.
“You’re right. I am pathetic,” Jungkook agrees, dropping his gaze to the floor like he’s ashamed. “But fuck, I’m trying to be worthy of you.”
It’s a truth that he doesn’t want to face, doesn’t want to admit how very real it is until you’ve just said it and it fucking guts him. He knows his friends pity him sometimes, even if they don’t want to view him as someone to be pitied. No matter how much of a front he puts up, he knows that Jimin and Taehyung see right through him. They won’t say it to his face, and for that Jungkook has gotten away with avoiding this fact for so long. But to hear it from you, to watch you spell it out for him, it hurts.
He wants to mention Yoongi, but he doesn’t know how to phrase it in a way that wouldn’t immediately aggravate you. After all, bringing up Yoongi is what got him into this mess, isn’t it?
Regardless, he wants to ask you a question that he already knows the answer to. What does Yoongi have that he doesn’t? The answer is: A lot of things. Yoongi has a lot of things that Jungkook doesn’t, one of them being the self-assurance to not run away when it comes to you and what you deserve.
He wants to ask, but he doesn’t, because he’s scared it might drive you right into Yoongi’s arms and Jungkook can’t compete with a man like that.
He can barely keep up even with just himself in the running.
There’s a big question mark that pops up in your head, along with a slight sting in your eyes that you blink away. You’ve never seen Jungkook like this before. This whole time, was it not only you who was miserable?
He looks so small that it breaks your heart. For once, you aren’t sad for yourself but you’re sad for him. It never occurred to you that he could’ve been lonely too, having to keep all of this inside because you know he didn’t share it with anyone else. You catch a glimpse of him again, like you did when you were making ramen together in your kitchen while a storm was raging outside. In a lot of ways, Jungkook is still that kid stuck in an adult’s body, lost and scared and loved you. It feels like you could’ve seen him in the same ocean while you were just trying to keep your head above water.
The sight of him, so vulnerable and astray, placates you. Your resolve crumbles, but not like it was ever that strong to begin with. You suppose you could see why he was being a jerk to you. Even though it doesn’t justify what he said, you understand just a little bit where he was coming from. You find yourself forgiving him for some of it. It’s part of letting things go, right?
But no matter how much you want to reach out and comfort him, you know you shouldn’t. What are you supposed to do in a situation like this? You’re confused and it feels like you two have been going around in a circle, looking for a solution that doesn’t seem to exist.
Coexisting doesn’t work. Telling him to leave things alone doesn’t work. What else can you do?
Why do you have to resolve a problem that isn’t even yours? Jungkook says he’s trying, but his efforts keep making your life harder and harder. You practically blew up in his face, then apologized for being harsh even though you were fully aware that you had nothing to be sorry for. You called him a hypocrite and now you’re ready to cave just because he’s on the verge of shedding a few tears. This constant back and forth between your anger and your reluctance to see that anger through is possibly the thing that’s hindering you.
You can’t – and shouldn’t – accommodate him anymore. You have to put your foot down, no matter how difficult it is with the lingering ghost of your past love.
Because you’re always weak when it comes to Jungkook.
Because you’re still holding onto something.
Because Jungkook will always be the first person that you have ever loved, and those four years meant a lot to you even if they didn’t to him. Maybe it’s even fair to say that you might never truly get over it, and that doesn’t have to be such a terrible thing. Maybe he was never the person you thought he was, or maybe you never meant as much to him as he did to you. Somehow, that’s okay. It’s manageable because it’s routine at this point. You’ve internalized it. The years have taught you that sometimes, things get shitty just because they can and you just have to deal with it.
The intrinsic pain of the human experience. C’est la vie.
What a world this is.
Is it bad that you’re thinking about Yoongi in a moment like this?
Yoongi could be your future, if you’d let him.
You should let him. Maybe this is your answer right here.
“Jungkook, let’s stop.” He looks at you with crestfallen eyes, but you have to keep going. The only way out is through. “Let’s stop. You want me to listen to you, but you haven’t been listening to me. I don’t have the strength to keep this up anymore, and I have told you that repeatedly but you wouldn’t listen. Jungkook, move on.”
You pretend not to notice how his lip trembles even more. “What if I don’t want to move on?”
This feels like a conversation that should’ve happened ages ago. Five years ago, you should’ve screamed at him, cried with him, held each other as you both fell apart. He stripped you of that right and gave you no say at all.
“You’re being awfully selfish,” you tell him, but in your head, you’re already thinking about what his words actually mean.
“Have you completely written me off then? Is there nothing at all that I can do? Because I would do anything if you asked. You know that.”
Your throat is so dry that it feels like you’re swallowing sand. You dig everything back up again until you find the memory of that day hidden at the very bottom.
It’s terrible. He’s making you relive it again.
“I remember calling for you and you didn’t even look back,” you say, but your voice breaks toward the end. “I can’t trust you anymore.”
Jungkook just stares at you then, and for the longest time, neither of you say anything. This is the first time that you two have addressed the problem, properly addressed it instead of half-heartedly sweeping it under the rug like you tried to do.
You breathe in, he breathes out. You hate the way you feel, and you resent the way he looks like he’s breaking down just as badly. There are tears in those eyes, tears that Jungkook doesn’t let spill because he defiantly wipes them away with the back of his hand after a moment.
When he speaks next, you want the world to end.
“Then I’ll earn your trust back. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will.”
— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted january 21, 2023]
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Hmm, hello!!
Maybe 24 and 25 for the fanfic end of the year ask game!!!
Nanaa thank you so much for sending this in! ♥
24. favorite fic you read this year
This is so difficult, I read so many fics 🧐 I would like to tag the authors instead cuz I was devouvering masterlists in no time: @bonvoyagenoona, @taegularities (ofc we're married), @kithtaehyung (ofc we demons), @jimilter, @yoonjinkooked, @littlemisskookie, @lavienjin, @avveh, @miscelunaaa, @minyfic, @7deadlysinsfics, @whatifyoulivelikethat and YOU. I am in the process of getting my shit together and you best believe I'm screaming you ear off about home is where you are and you wont even know what hit you bb
I'm sure I'm missing so many people rn, but I just ran through my latest review queue and here we are hehe <3
25. a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read
When I first entered Tumblr the two fics that caught me by my balls were @kinktae's Bitchin' and @curly-bangtan's Heatwave, and working my way through this hellsite I found @dark-muse-iris 's Transference and @sugaurora's Éffleurer - and I was cemented in this site till death do us apart.
I know this has not QUITE answered the questions but honestly I can't pick ONE fav fic and ONE rec LOL it's just so hard having all this talent on this website 😩
Thank you so much for sending me this ask luv! 💛
EDIT: Changed a link because I got the author wrong, sorry about that!
Send me a question from fanfic end of the year asks!
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Photo Tag Game 📸
Post your lock screen, home screen, last song and last photo taken.
I was tagged by @still-with-koo! Thank you so much darling! 💕
The last photo I took was from part of my home; I'm a bit of a fan of vintage things lol
Tagging: @kimchokejin @namjoonsmissingairpods @cosyserendipity @pinkbeanjin @hopeonthestreets and @hobipost! Feel free to ignore, of course!
#tagged#still-with-koo#kimchokejin#namjoonsmissingairpods#cosyserendipity#pinkbeanjin#hopeonthestreets#hobipost#of course Seokjin is my home background!#was tempted to make it one with his RJ + Koya hat but couldn't find a decent picture#Inge talks
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sae why are people trying to jump to conclusions about jk's tattoos... like can't the man cover his old tattoos without an ulterior motive to it like damn let the man live 😐
i'm just.... not here for ppl just assuming his or any member's feelings and then acting like it's a fact :/
#let's just learn to only take things coming directly from their own mouths as facts pls#ask sae#ask taechnological#hobipost
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hey!! i hope you're having a good day/night. just dropping by to say that i loved reading "tale of broken hearts". your writing style is amazing 💟
the development was pleasant to read, like i understood both the reader and tae, and even so i wanted them to stay together sooner, the building of the moment when they found each other again was perfect 👌 thank u for taking your time to write it and sharing!
hey nana, hellooo !!! ahhh, i saw your reblog and i'm so grateful you read it and enjoyed it <3 even i wanted them together earlier, but the timing of life is always so random, and it was for them, too :( but seriously, thank u for taking your time as well and being so kind. i appreciate it <33
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what are you eating, if you don't mind me asking???? is it yummy???
not at all, my love. thanks for stopping by with questions that i’ll always be happy to answer. 💗
i had lasagna, chicken, and some veggies!!! what about you? what was your last meal? 🤍
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hi babee. we don't interact much but just know that ii miss you when you're not here. i hope you're happy and healthy 💖
Awww this message is so sweet 🥺😍🥰 Thank you 🤍 And I want to say that I love to see your name and posts in my feed 🥰🥰 I am happy and healthy, I hope you are too 😇😘😘
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😃
This was from an old ask game but
It means I'm approachable :)
Thank you, dear. ❤❤
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Omg Nana, pls!!! 😭 Thank you so so much! I'm so glad you liked the fic!!!
And lmaO, I had a number of variations planned for that scene, one of which included having Jimin being massaged by his ex who also owned Blissful Hands and oc would simply walk away in tears after, and the confrontation would happen later. I even had a chat abt it w @ressjeon 💀 but then it felt too angsty, so I tweaked OC's character a bit and settled on the lighter version of flangst! 😭
Thank you for your lovely words, bby, much love to you! 🥺❤️
relax for me (m) | p.jm. | one-shot
You came home from a tiring workday and your boyfriend offered to give you a massage to relax – which you didn’t think much of because Park Jimin is known to be selflessly kind while also being a pervert, the exact two behaviors a massage would exemplify. But maybe you should think more about how skilled his hands felt… almost extraordinarily skilled. Is your boyfriend hiding something from you?
pairing: jimin x reader rating: m (18+) genre: humor | smut | fluff | a brush of angst | established relationship!au | masseuse!jimin warnings: swearing + jealousy + possessiveness (ft. a fierce oc that takes no shit and would fight any bitch that comes for her man <3) + allusions to infidelity + explicit sexual situations (dom!jimin, sub!reader, erotic body massage with edible oils, fingering, unprotective penetrative sex, breast play, oral(m), dirty talk, degradation, some slaps thrown around, semi-public sexual acts, praise kink, choking) + park jimin being a lil shit throughout :’) word count: 13 k
↣ part of the Titillating Touches collab hosted by my chaotic bff yanbun, @ressjeon <3
note: first off, a massive thanks to allannah, @ilikemesometaetaes, my precious baby for working w me on this beautiful banner! thank you for your patience, ily! 🥺❤ secondly, thanks to my love, @opaljm, who yelled at me to let her read this and ended up beta-ing it for me lmao! ily, you dumdum. 😭❤ and lastly, thank you yanbun for hosting this super super fun collab! i met and interacted with so many awesome ppl, hoping to get together with everyone for something fun again soon! 🥰
writing this fic has been sO much fun, y’all, i love both these chaotic idiots! every time i opened the doc, i’d spit a couple thousand words lolol, i’ve been on a roll w this one. i hope y’all like reading it as much as i loved writing it~ 💜
— masterlist | feedback | support me!
In your humble opinion, people who claim their jobs suck the soul out of them are overly dramatic and despicable attention seekers who are just horrible at time management, because no job has the power to do that until one gives it such power.
Unless one is working in Accounting at a corporate firm.
Then their sucking-soul theory is absolutely believable, and you sympathize with those people.
Mostly because you are one of them and have just returned home after your supposed nine to five job that you were at till eight of the night, having served at the office for nearly eleven hours because your supervisor decided to be an ass today. Well, not exactly an ass; the man just needed you and the team to sit for the brainstorming session for the next project so that they could talk budget along the way, too. But the fact remains that you’re currently dead on your feet and he’s to be blamed.
The only silver lining is your warm, loving and comforting boyfriend who works reasonable hours, and who is just about to open the door and accept you into his warm, loving, and comforting embrace—
“Babe, holy shit, you look like hell! And stink like it, too!”
…or maybe not.
Continuar lendo
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KNJ Stories
Finally got this KNJ rec list up! Please send love to the authors 💕💕 and mind the tags (angst, fluff, smut).
To be updated after every leading list is posted.
College
Happy accidents by @sunshinerainbowsbts (f)
As long as you’re around, I’m safe and sound by @jktones (f)
Exes
Somewhere between the lines by @caelesjjk (a, s) - husband, dad nj
Return to me by @yoongiphoria (a) - idol nj
Fall apart & redefine by @ugh-yoogni (a, s) - idol nj
You, after all by @effortandmore (a, f, s)
Friends
Three peas in a pod by @jimlingss (a, f) - single dad nj
Five Fridays in December + Two Sundays in December by @reliablemitten (a, f, s) - friends → boyfriend au
What d’you want? Some dick? by @joonsgalaxy (humor)
No regrets + Together (ft. JJK) by @sunshinerainbowsbts (s)
FWB
Below your mouth by @7deadlysinsfics (a, s)
Idol
Permission to pleasure by @bangtanbetchfics (s)
Untitled by me (a, s)
Lovers/In a relationship
Call of duty by @sahmfanficbts (a, f, s) - fiance nj, military nj
I need to breathe, huh? by @holdinbacksecrets (f) - husband nj
Yellow by @hobipost (f) - boyfriend au
How I Love You by me (a, f, s) - husband nj
(Un)predictable by @yoonjinkooked (s) - arranged marriage au
Things left unsaid by @miscelunaaa - husband nj, rancher au
Him and I, and these heavenly drops by @alteringrealities (f) - boyfriend
Neighbors
Love at dozen sights by @hueseok (f)
Roommates
Roomies with Joonie by @sahmfanficbts (a f, s) - grad school au
Strangers
Landing by @joyfulhopelox (s)
Red mercedes by @bubblebeom (s)
Number 45 by @btsmosphere (f)
Livin’, leavin’ by @outroshooky (f)
Second heart pt.1 + pt.2 by @reliablemitten (a, s)
An art gallery on a rainy day by @jinkookspencil (f)
Freak on a bike by @hamsterclaw (s)
Workmates
Technology is a bummer by @joheunsaram (f) - hospital au
All I want for Christmas is you by @bluewhale52 (f) - spy au
You set my heart on fire pt.1 + pt.2 by @hayjeon (a, f, s) - firefighter nj
Working for it + 1.5 by @reliablemitten (a, s)
Others
Seoul redemption by @sahmfanficbts (a, s) - criminal au, single mom OC
Reverie by @minstrophywife (a, s) - sci-fi au
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Tag game: Q&A
I was tagged by @singingtillthemorn, @jiminsproof, @namjoonsmissingairpods, @hopeonthestreets and @scokjinkim! Thank you all so much! 💕
Favorite time of the year: Spring! I really love all the spring flowers 🌷
Comfort food: Any type of pasta; preferably with a good amount of cheese
Do you collect something: A couple of things actually; I collect albums, photocards, postcards and stamps!
Favourite drink: Bananamilk! 🍌
Favorite song: Mumford & Sons and Birdy’s Learn Me Right.
Current favorite song: I would say George Ezra’s Anyone for You.
Favorite fic: None.
Tagging: @hobipost and @usertae!
#tagged#singingtillthemorn#jiminsproof#namjoonsmissingairpods#hopeonthestreets#scokjinkim#hobipost#usertae#hopefully i didn't miss anyone#Inge talks
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people acting like we aren't allowed to be excited about the demos and new music and the old as well srsly where is the problem 😐 like people cant really let others BE... idk how u tolerate it sae
the problem is the source from where that person is getting their info bc damn 🤣
also my usual anons are all so nice and funny so i always try to give the person in my inbox a benefit of doubt and like three last chances on an average sjsjsjks
#i'm very patient now..... i have worked hard to develop this skill actually shsjsjs#ask sae#ask taechnological#hobipost
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series taglist:
@bids97 @ggukkieland @bloopkook @canarystwin @princehyun-jin @scoupsnotscoops @eridanuswave @thebluegoddess @pb89nv @ppeachyttae @xxxxxuixxxxx @bananamochidaisy @jungkook-er @acciofirewhiskey @bbtsficrecs @luv--you @jeonkoookiee @sweetonkookieandtae @mrcleanheichou @neverthefirstchoice @lllucere @parkethereal @tsundoku-world @starbtslove @satisfied18 @wearenot7withu @hobipost @kookiesncum @jkkkkkay @apollukee @amackie1018 @holdmehyungs @hoseoksluv89 @sakm95 @belladaises @pb-n-juju @n4mina @definetlythinkimanalien @soojin23 @galaxyeyedjungkook @lovelytaes-blog @lpgirl2324 @geniejunn @yoongslast @moonchild1 @bangtanlvrsworld @buurosy @ravensglory @yoongifiess @hyuckscore @kswr1d @scenanrios @bbl32 @nadzzzblog @elizabethdots @thunderstormsandrainbows @yoonkookie2k @nikkiordonez12 @oxzie @uarmyhore @sugakookieswithmilk @vanillacupcakefrosting @bwormie @gcfholic @stillwithbt5 @lucidhao
our beloved summer | jjk (06)
You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.
pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader
genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, kissing (omg k1ss1ng omg WHO IS IT ??? 😦), tbh this is the only warning i wanted u guys to read cuz 6 chapters in and we finally get sum action i feel like that's a win lmaooooo, jimin being Real as fook, unbeta'd cuz uhm i'm a godless menace who should be conked on the head, once again we are severely lacking jk in his own fic lol i'm owning up to this 🤗 BUT! this is probably the last chapter where jk feels like a side character lol apologies my dudes
rating: PG-13
word count: 8.1k (honestly i wrote obs6 just so i could get to obs7 lmao that's why it's a lil bit shorter)
note: my apologies if this sucks. you are legally allowed to stone me if you hate it. but i hope you don't hate it. but if you do hate it don't tell me just stone me lol 🤐 why am i so unhinged with this update
series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist
— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
I can see you starin', honey Like he's just your understudy Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me
Exile - Taylor Swift (ft. Bon Iver)
The picture is fucking terrible.
“Jimin, what the fuck,” you grumble, staring at the huge framed photo on the wall, taken on the day of the opening party. You, Taehyung and Jimin are gathered on the floor of the dance studio, with boxes of takeout neatly sitting between the three of you. “I look like ass.”
Jimin barely glances at the wall, just continues to stuff his face with the dumplings that you ordered. “You look fine,” he says absentmindedly, mouth full, continuing to munch on the food despite your little dilemma.
“Bitch, I have my eyes closed.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“I look like I’m in the middle of a sneeze.” You cross your arms in front of your chest, squinting at your photographed self again. The more you look at it, the more irritated you become.
Realistically, you know nobody would pay enough attention to notice the immortalized visual of your fluttering eyes, and you yourself wouldn’t care about it that much. Maybe you would even laugh in good spirits and poke fun at yourself as you often do. Make a meme of it for the group chat.
“What’s the big deal?” Jimin asks.
You shrug petulantly. “I told you. I look like ass.”
Yeah, true, but it’s also more than that.
It’s the fact that the person standing next to you looks so good that you must voice your grievances. It’s the fact that he looks so much more than just good.
The guys stop eating to look at you. You wonder just how much of what you’re feeling is written all over your face. Regardless, they don’t comment on it.
One of them clears his throat, shaking the whole thing off.
“Did you tell Yoongi anything yet?” Jimin asks.
You poke at a lone dumpling with your chopsticks, popping the ‘p’ when you say, “Nope.”
“Damn, Y/N,” Jimin scolds you. “It’s been three weeks. He doesn’t want to push you for an answer but the man has got to be suffering.”
You flick a piece of spring onion garnish at him. It lands on his hair, a single bit of green sitting among golden locks. “I don’t know what to tell him!”
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Jimin shakes the onion piece from his head and chucks it back at you. “Obviously you say yes!”
You exhale through your nose, then take a bite of your dumpling. You nibble on the fried dough, stretching out the silence, delaying your response.
It hasn’t even started, and it might not even start. But you’re already thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Yoong is your friend, first and foremost. He’s a good friend, and you would be crushed if you lose that relationship.
What if he hurts you, or you hurt him?
Sometimes, people are meant to hurt each other even if they don’t mean to.
Yoongi hasn’t seen your pieces in all of their jagged glory, how they’re only meant to reflect the light but never be healed by it. He’s still blissfully unaware of the ugly thoughts that have a home inside your head, and you’re afraid if you let him in, he’d realize it’s a place he doesn’t want to be. It’s hard to love a broken thing. You wouldn’t want to love you either.
Maybe this is the real reason that’s been holding you back all this time. Maybe it isn’t Jungkook - though he certainly isn’t absolved - but it’s you, and how you just don’t know if you’re someone who deserves to love and be loved. You’ve felt inadequate more times than you can count. You’ve been left before. Who’s to say it isn’t going to happen again?
You’re well aware that this is a bad way to look at things, but can anyone really blame you? You still have a heart, and despite how fragmented it is, you still want to protect it.
“I know that look,” Taehyung says, parting your fog and pulling you back to him. “You’re overthinking again.”
You roll your eyes. He knows you so well, but does he have to call you out every time?
“I’m not overthinking. I’m regular thinking.”
“Right. And to normal people, that’s overthinking.”
“It’s just…” you wonder out loud, gaze on the floor. “What if I go all in, and Yoongi sees me for who I am and thinks that I’m just an utterly sad person who can’t be loved? That I’m too much work when he’s got literally thousands of people throwing themselves at him left and right?”
Taehyung stares at the side of your face as he bites the inside of his cheek. His tongue soothes the spot, his jaw clenching once. “He’s not going to think that.”
“You don’t know that,” you say, the corners of your mouth tugging down.
“You’re not unlovable just because one person didn’t love you right. So stop it with that bullshit, because I love you,” he says, voice serious. Even Jimin stays silent as he listens to his friend, his eyes flickering between you and Taehyung. “And Jimin loves you. Hobi loves you.”
You merely blink, because you hate it when he’s right. In all fairness, you understand. This is the same thing you would tell him if the situation were reversed.
You deflect anyway. That’s what you do best.
“You don’t count,” you tell him with an unserious scoff, your tone starkly contrasting his. “You’re my family.”
You taste something bitter as soon as the words leave your mouth. You should know better than anyone, that just because someone’s your family, doesn’t mean they have to love you.
Taehyung reenacts the blinking guy meme before chuckling, holding a hand over his chest like you’ve just wounded him. “Ouch.”
“You two are getting nowhere,” Jimin interjects. “Just call Yoongi.”
“And say what?” you ask.
“I told you. Say yes. God, you’re so dense sometimes.”
You reach over to jab a finger into his side, making him hiss and shuffle away from you.
“That wasn’t nice,” you grumble.
“Well, somebody’s gotta say it.” He gives you a look, eyebrows raised for a few seconds before he lowers them and grows more stern. “Come on, Y/N. You know you don’t want to say no, or else you would’ve turned him down already. You said you wanted to start dating again. Yoongi is practically on his knees offering himself to you. What are you waiting for?”
There’s a voice in the back of your head - tiny, barely audible - that whispers, Who are you waiting for?
“Fuck it, I’ll say it,” Jimin continues. “It sucks balls that Jungkook hurt you, but you can’t let that affect you for the rest of your life. Not everyone is going to hurt you. You’re not even giving Yoongi a chance just because someone else did you dirty. If you keep always thinking about the worst possible outcome and banking on it to happen, then you’re never going to get anywhere. I love you, dude, but y’know.”
You stare at Jimin with your mouth slightly open, stunned into silence. When you glance at Taehyung, he’s surprised too, though probably not as much as you.
After a couple of minutes, you say, “Wow.”
“Tough love. I have my moments.” Jimin shrugs casually, like he didn’t just drop a truth bomb on your head. “But also…” He picks his phone up and types something in. Your phone instantly buzzes with a notification.
“Open the link I just sent you,” he says.
“You are literally sitting across from me.”
“Just open it! I made you a playlist.”
“Aw, Jimin, that’s so cute,” you coo softly, reaching over to pinch his cheek before he swats your hand away. You unlock your phone to see what Jimin made you, because that is some friendship hall of fame stuff right there. However, when the link redirects you to your music app, your smile immediately drops.
Aaand he’s back.
You stare at the screen for a good ten seconds to try and find your bearings, flabbergasted at something that is quite honestly very on-brand for Jimin if you think about it. “You made me a playlist called Dick Appointment with an eggplant emoji and the tongue out emoji and it’s mostly just Yoongi’s songs. Even the playlist cover is from his Valentino shoot.”
“So you can get it on while Agust D plays in the background!” Jimin grins, and you could just smack it right off his face.
“Park Jimin, who raised you? You are vile.”
“Validate me,” he demands. Oh, you would smack him. You really would. “I spent hours making that playlist.”
“It’s literally just Yoongi’s songs.”
“Yeah, but I had to curate an experience. I can’t just dump every song into a playlist and call it a day. I gotta make sure they fit the vibe.”
“I literally just heard the most profound shit from you not even two minutes ago.” Then, you turn to Taehyung with an exasperated look on your face. “Why would you let him do this?”
He just waves a dismissive hand in the air, like Jimin isn’t even there. “I’m not responsible for the stupid shit he does.”
Jimin crosses his arms in front of his chest, both eyebrows raised dramatically as he gapes at you. “You both suck. From now on, you can make your own sexytime playlists.”
“Nobody even asked you to do that!” you cry.
“Yeah! Which makes me an even more considerate friend,” he says. “Ugh. Whatever. Go call Yoongi.”
“You want me to do it now?”
“Yes. Because I know you’ll wuss out when you’re alone. You can stay and put him on speakers for us to hear or you can go out into the hallway. Come on, chop chop.”
“No, I have to text him first,” you protest. “What if he’s busy?”
Jimin narrows his eyes at you suspiciously, but allows you this after a moment. “Fine.”
You take out your phone from your bag that’s lying carelessly on the floor to draft a quick message to Yoongi.
[12:59] You: got a minute?
The three of you go back to the food, abandoning the previous topic of conversation in favor of something lighter and meaningless or else you would go crazy waiting for Yoongi’s reply. After you’re finished, you and Taehyung are in the middle of putting away all the empty containers and soda cans when your phone buzzes again.
You go to grab it to look at the notification, hands already starting to sweat.
[13:17] Yoongi: for you? always :)
You turn back to the guys to find them already looking at you. Jimin wiggles his eyebrows suggestively while Taehyung just stares at you.
“Time to get your whore on,” Jimin says in an exaggeratedly sultry voice.
You turn to Taehyung for help. “He’s bullying me.”
“Ignore him,” your best friend tells you gently. “Go call Yoongi.”
When you take your phone out into the hallway, you make sure to go to the far end of it, near the main entrance so the two dorks can’t eavesdrop. You’ll tell them everything once you come back anyway, but you don’t want them within earshot while you’re in the middle of it.
Yoongi picks up your call on the third ring. In the background, your ear picks up on some chatter.
“Hey, princess,” he greets you. Then he holds the phone away from his ear to tell someone that he’d be back in a bit.
“Hey,” you say. “Where are you?”
“Just at a fitting. I have an ad campaign to film next week,” he answers. “Did you call just to get my whereabouts?”
“No, I… If you’re busy, we can talk later.”
“We’re still in the middle of lunch break anyway. What did you want to talk about?”
You briefly regret not taking a minute to psych yourself up before. You suck in a deep breath, which eases your nerves for just a second, long enough for you to say, “Yes.”
You’re met with brief silence from the other end of the line, which only makes your palms more clammy than they already are.
“Yes?” he echoes confusedly. “Yes what?”
“Yes,” you say again. “To…”
The silence commences once more, and lasts longer than you think you can handle. Then, you hear him stop in the middle of a breath.
“Oh.” A subsequent chuckle in response to the lightbulb that must’ve been switched on. “To that?”
“...Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes.”
It feels like you two have invented a secret language that nobody else could understand. A single syllable, bouncing off the metaphorical walls of your conversation. Two idiots sharing the same brain cell.
“Yes?” he continues to prod, but at this point, you know he’s just teasing you.
“Yes! God, stop making me say it again. We sound so stupid.”
He graces you with a hearty laugh that makes you fight back a sheepish smile, even though there isn’t a single soul in sight to witness it. Yoongi makes you so fucking shy for some reason. Your nerves dissolve momentarily as you lean against the wall, your index finger running along a crack in the paint.
“Hmm, I wish you would’ve told me this in person,” he says, his voice soft.
“I can’t handle you in person. You’d tease me so much.”
“Because you’re adorable when you’re flustered, that’s why.” He waits a second before adding, “You’re blushing right now, aren’t you?”
“You’re being overly confident, Min.”
“Maybe,” he responds easily. “But am I right, though?”
“Shut up.”
When Yoongi said he would cook for you, you almost gasped.
“You can cook?” you had asked. It wasn’t an earth-shattering revelation or anything, but you suppose you’d never given much thought to the hidden sides of him.
“Y/N,” he laughed then. “I’m a great cook. I could probably make a pretty decent career out of being a chef.”
“I didn’t know that,” you told him sheepishly.
“There’s a lot of things you still need to know about me.” It sounded like a promise. Like I’m willing to show you me. Like I’m willing to take the first step if you’d be in this with me too. “Does that sound like a good idea? You, me, dinner at your place?”
“My place?”
“Yeah, so you’ll be more comfortable. I’ll come over.”
This one simple gesture shouldn’t affect you that much, but it does. You appreciate that he’s considerate even when it comes to the littlest things. You swell with gratitude for the thought he puts into this, into putting your comfort first. It made you feel a bit better about yourself, calmed your stormy sea of thoughts enough to rationally accept the fact that he genuinely cares.
Regardless, it doesn’t stop you from spending most of the day obsessively cleaning your apartment. Even - and especially - your bedroom, although you’re sure that is not where the night will end. Every surface is spotless, not a single speck of dust to be found. It’s like the goddamn Pope is coming over for a house inspection.
You haven’t had a first date in… fuck, how long has it been now? Nine years? It’s almost been a fucking decade already? You honestly can’t tell if that’s embarrassing or not.
But you remember the last time.
College, freshman year, with Jungkook. His yellow piece of sticky note that he slipped inside your favorite book. His adorably flustered expression when he timidly stood in front of you in the campus library. The way he was trying so hard to be confident and charming throughout your first dinner together. How he ran back to you after saying goodnight.
No.
You shut your eyes and shake your head, warding off any Jungkook-related thoughts before they could send you spiraling. You can’t reminisce about your ex while waiting for someone else to show. Yoongi deserves better, and that’s what you’re trying to be.
You’re not exactly sure how nice you should dress tonight. Yoongi told you that you could be clad in sweats for all he cares. If the dinner didn’t hold any connotation other than platonic, maybe you would’ve really donned your loungewear like you were merely having Taehyung and Jimin over for pizza.
You’d completely forgotten all the things people worry about in the early stages of dating, when you want to impress the other person but don’t want them to think that you’re trying too hard.
Calm down. It’s just Yoongi. He’s seen you ugly crying with mascara running down your face, for fuck’s sake.
In the end, you opt for a sweater and a comfortable skirt. Casual.
Yoongi rings your doorbell about ten minutes later than when he said he’d be there, holding a bag full of groceries. The visual alone makes you bite back a giggle and subsequently fail. You believe this is what people would call husband material.
You take his coat and guide him into your home. “Welcome to my humble abode,” you say shyly, gesturing around as you lead him into the kitchen to show him where everything is. Why are you acting like this? This isn’t you. If Taehyung or Jimin could see you right now, they would probably laugh. Hoseok would straight up be rolling on the floor.
You barely breathe as you watch Yoongi take in his surroundings. It’s intimidating, even though you know it’s just Yoongi.
“I actually don’t know what I expected, but I like it. It’s very you,” he comments, smiling.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that it’s cute,” he says, throwing you a wink as he leans against your kitchen counter.
You avert your gaze immediately. “Oh… Thanks,” you reply, fiddling with the hem of your sweater. “So, uhm, what are you making? How can I help?”
“Just sit down. I got this.”
“Yoongi,” you say his name in protest. “I want to h-”
“I’m trying to romance you here. Let me do that,” Yoongi says, his smile turning lopsided as he starts emptying the contents of his grocery bags. Even though his tone is light, the gentle reminder of tonight being a date shuts you right up.
You take a seat at your dining table, though you can’t really sit still. As Yoongi starts working, you absentmindedly talk to each other about your day, about his campaign, about Seokjin’s album. At one point, you get up to creep over to his side when the smell of whatever he’s making becomes more prominent. You try to peek at the pot, curious, but he just shoos you away by bumping his hip against yours.
When you give him a small pout, you pretend not to notice the way his eyes dart to your mouth. You retract yourself from his personal space, choosing a spot on the other side of your kitchen island, staring at his back as he works.
You watch him expertly navigate your kitchen like he’s been here before. When he’s finished, he makes you sit down, not even letting you help bring the food to the table.
“What is it?” you ask once he’s settled in his seat, everything plated in front of you.
“Kimchi jjigae,” he says, a proud look on his face. “My mom’s recipe.”
It’s endearing, and it makes you smile.
For the most part, Yoongi lets you eat in peace, though there’s still a couple of flirtatious comments here and there. Every time it comes, you bite down on your bottom lip to try and snap out of that daze before you cough, as if that would help tone down the colors adorning your face. There’s no verbal response from you, and it seems like Yoongi doesn’t expect one either, because he just chuckles. You think he must notice the palpable nervousness that radiates off of you, but it’s not like you’re doing a very good job at hiding it.
You’re taking baby steps and he knows it. The fact that you even agreed to this at all is already major progress.
When you’re done eating, he clears the table while he asks you to open the expensive bottle of wine that he brought over. It does wonders for your nerves.
Three glasses in and you’re visibly more relaxed as you both sit on the couch in the living room, facing each other. There’s a small smile on your face that you can’t help, maybe it’s some of your inhibitions wearing off as a side effect of the alcohol.
You glance around the room, and you take in the sight of Yoongi sitting here, this close to you. He feels bigger than your small world can handle.
“You know,” you start. If the wine didn’t make you more mellow, you probably wouldn’t be saying this. “There are thousands of people thirsting over you every day.”
Yoongi tilts his head, swirling the wine in his glass. “Really?”
“Don’t you look at the internet? I personally know two girls from college who are on the Yoongi Marry Me train,” you say matter-of-factly, like you aren’t borderline tipsy in front of him.
You aren’t an avid Twitter user, but every time you check the damn bird app, Yoongi is almost always trending. In every single one of his posts on social media, there is always an influx of comments asking him to marry them. Not only that, when word first got out about you collaborating with Agust D back then, people you knew - both old friends and acquaintances - practically bombarded your messages to see if it was true, and to ask if you could get them an autograph.
Yoongi stretches out his legs until they brush against yours. Your stomach flips even though it’s only your legs that are barely touching.
“The what train?”
“You seriously don’t know about the Yoongi Marry Me movement? Look it up. It’s a whole thing. People would do anything to, I don’t know, hold your hand or something.”
With an amused look on his face, he holds your gaze. “Would you?”
“What?”
“Would you do all of that just to hold my hand? Because you don’t have to, y’know.” He brings the wine glass to his lips, partially hiding his face from you, and you don’t know whether he’s doing it for your sake or his in preparation for the words he speaks next. “But I would do it to hold yours.”
You’re sure that your cheeks are burning bright, your stomach twisted in knots. It’s the wine, but it’s definitely the effect of his words too. You stare at Yoongi in surprise; no matter how many times he openly flirts with you, he’d still elicit the same reaction from you. It’ll be hard to get used to it. He just always seems to know what to say to make you blush like a schoolgirl, which you resent but you can’t deny the sparks of excitement that make your fingertips tingle.
Yoongi is smooth, and it’s even worse - or is it better? You haven’t decided yet - that you know he means every word he says. It makes you feel… wanted. It’s good to know that he’s being genuine, and to know that Yoongi isn’t the type of person who would ever pull the rug out from under you.
Yoongi is… stable.
You suppose, after everything you’ve been through, that stability is what you need. It’s good for you.
You try to swerve around the thoughts, to avoid them at all costs, but deep down you know now that they’re glaringly true.
That love is stored in two bags of groceries, so filled to the brim that some onions almost fall out. Love is stored in every flick of his wrist holding a knife, slicing the sharp blade across your cutboard. Clean cuts, yet he’s never this way when it comes to you.
Love is stored in a fond smile and adoring eyes when he sees how you cradle your expensive dishware like it’s a newborn baby before you set it carefully on the table.
Love is stored in a Yoongi-shaped silhouette, dancing over your countertops with practiced precision in every movement, filling in the cracks of your home. The love in him is reserved because you, like a moon crescented, still have a ways to go.
When he stands at your door an hour later with his coat in hand, you wait for him to speak first.
“Performance review?” he asks. “How did I do?”
“I… liked it. It was nice,” you say honestly. But you still feel the wine in your system, and it makes you bold enough to tease him for a change. “But it was my first date in a while, so it’s hard to tell if that opinion is objective.”
He rolls his eyes fondly. “Do I qualify for a second date then?”
You hum in thought, making him wait on purpose. “Yeah, I guess,” you say, feigning nonchalance, which earns you a hearty laugh.
“What are you doing tomorrow night?” he asks, hopeful.
“Don’t know yet,” you answer, though you’ll probably end up going home and catching up on a kdrama. “Are you coming in tomorrow?”
“Just in the morning. I have a shoot in the afternoon.” He shifts to lean his weight on his other leg, tipping his body closer to you. “But I can pick you up after.”
“Yeah? And where would we go?”
Yoongi shrugs in earnest. “Just drive around? Grab a bite?” he thinks out loud, tilting his head slightly to one side for emphasis. “I could take you to that popup store you mentioned.”
You quirk an eyebrow. “You would stand in line with me to buy a novelty mug?”
“Pretty sure we wouldn’t have to stand in line if I gave them a call,” he says, grinning. “One of the perks of the job, y’know.”
“Must be nice,” you laugh, then shift to lean just a tad closer to him. You look at him for a brief moment before you agree, “Yeah, okay.”
You and Yoongi stand there at the door, each of you on either side of the threshold. This would be an appropriate moment for a kiss, you think. That explosive first kiss, if this were a movie. Exhilaration courses through your veins. You feel it from your head to the tips of your fingers to your toes. The feeling is rendering you a mere teenager again.
It’s exciting because it’s new. You have the entire book ahead of you, waiting to be written. At this point, anything could happen. You’re a blank canvas waiting to be drawn, a blank page hoping to be written.
Wait.
Back up.
A kiss?
A kiss?!
With Yoongi?
You’re thinking about kissing Yoongi?!
Fuck.
Fuck?!
It’s the wine.
Your thoughts knock against each other like bumper cars, echoing loudly in your brain that it almost gives you a headache.
You stay still as Yoongi leans down, your heart racing while your brain just keyboard-smashes. You can’t tell if you want him to kiss you or not, but when he only presses his lips against your cheek, you feel two emotions at once.
The first is disappointment, the second is relief. They press down on you with almost equal force, and you’re not really sure which one weighs heavier.
Baby steps.
You blink when he pulls away, and he just smiles fondly at you as if he can read your mind.
“Goodnight, princess.”
You watch him until he’s in the elevator, until the doors close and the lift descends. Even when you know that he must be on his way to his car and that someone else is making their way up, you stand there, with your hand loosely wrapped around the door handle, your breathing slightly erratic as you process what just happened.
Déjà vu?
It’s oddly reminiscent.
You’ve been here before.
Part of you thinks he’ll burst through the elevator doors, or rush up the stairs if the lift is occupied, and come back to grab your face and kiss you senseless.
He doesn’t.
Jungkook knows you’re probably waiting for Yoongi.
He’s seen Yoongi pick you up after work almost daily over the past couple of weeks, and it’s driving him insane. Even on the days that Yoongi comes to the studio during the day, the guy is all over you, so much so that he doesn’t even bother being a nuisance to Jungkook anymore, which just makes him a thousand times more insufferable.
Something is happening.
He can’t weasel shit out of Jimin anymore because Jimin has been especially tight-lipped after accidentally spilling Yoongi’s confession to you.
Because that should be him in Yoongi’s place. Or should he say his place, and Yoongi is just a placeholder. An imposter.
Because it used to be him that you smiled shyly at.
Jimin’s words have been plaguing his every waking hour since he was forced to hear them. If she wants to choose Yoongi, let her do that too. It feels like he’s rewinding all of your memories, retracing them with cautious fingers only to find that his every footstep is being erased to make room for someone else.
An abandoned dirt road, while you walk down a flower-filled path holding someone else’s hand.
Like you’re stamping him out.
Like he was never there at all.
Not only are you denying him a chance, you’re giving it to someone else. When he tries to move at someone else’s pace, all he gets is left behind.
It’s not about Yoongi; or at least, it’s not just about him. Yoongi doesn’t even really matter to Jungkook in this equation. It’s about what Yoongi represents. An idea of a person that Jungkook can never be.
A bigger life. A stable present and an even brighter future. Yoongi is everything better than him.
And that’s his own problem to deal with, not anyone else’s. At the end of the day, no one has to live with his insecurities but himself.
But still, he can’t help it. Whenever he sees you with Yoongi, his eyes burn. Please don’t let him take my place, he wishes every time, you’re the only good thing about me.
It’s jealousy, sure, of course it’s there.
But what if you realize what everyone else already knows? That Yoongi is better in every single way. That Yoongi is the person who really deserves you.
What if you start to see Jungkook the way he sees himself?
You hating him - despising him with every cell in your body - is a thousand times better than you deeming him unworthy.
“I talked to Jihyo,” he speaks up suddenly, when it’s only the two of you.
“Okay,” you answer, never taking your eyes off the page in front of you. You must have circled the words daisy a thousand times already, wracking your brain for anything that rhymes. “I don’t know why you’re telling me this, but good for you.”
At this point, you wonder if you should just avoid the studio for the time being. It’s empty here again. You resent Seokjin for drowning in concept photos. You resent Namjoon for leaving Jungkook here to fend for himself, but it’s only fair, because Namjoon was only supposed to give him a helping hand, not take over the whole thing. You even resent Yoongi a bit, for not being here right this second.
“I talked to her,” Jungkook says again, ignoring your sass. “She won’t give you a hard time anymore.”
This makes you look at him. You never asked him to do this. You never asked him to do anything. In fact, you have only ever implored him to sit still and leave things alone.
“She never gave me a hard time,” you say. Sure, you don’t appreciate being given the death glare first thing in the morning, but it’s not something that you can’t ignore. It doesn’t actively affect you, and the only reason Jihyo does it is because of Jungkook.
Because he broke things off with her?
Because he gives you more attention?
Ugh. Attention?
This is the stupidest and most childish thing you have had to think about in ages.
“You said she acts differently toward you.”
“And aren’t you the reason why?” you counter. “Because you two were fucking?”
Jungkook visibly winces at your words, like he did when you mentioned it the first time in the break room. You don’t mean to be snarky; you’re just stating the facts. They were hooking up.
You don’t harbor any ill will toward any of his past lovers, and that includes Jihyo. You know she doesn’t have anything against you either, at least not on a personal level because you don’t know each other well enough to do so. She’s just someone you pass by every day on your way to the elevator.
“So why did things end?” you ask just for the sake of it, since he was the one who brought it up. But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious.
He hesitates for a moment. “She wanted something more and it wasn’t the same for me.”
It’s stupid that the tiny voice in the back of your head resurfaces, hoping that you were the reason why he couldn’t pursue things with another woman.
Jihyo isn’t you, that much is clear. You never asked for anything more from him, not once from start to finish. He was always the first one to pour love into you. It’s arguable which one of you loved the other more - maybe you loved each other equally, just in different ways - but it was a fact that Jungkook always took the initiative. He made the first move so you wouldn’t have to. He gave you the option to match his affection, and never have to worry about being left out to dry.
He took initiative, right until the very end.
You bite your bottom lip, then give him a curt response, “Okay.”
Your phone vibrates with a text from Yoongi but you don’t open it just yet. You look at Jungkook, who only looks back at you. His lips part slightly as he searches for the right words, or any word at all. It’s like you’re asking him to navigate a minefield when all he has to do is be honest. Even if he told you that he fell out of love with you, it wouldn’t be that bad. You would be hurt, yes, but you wouldn’t blame him. You would understand. It would be a reason.
Silence fills the room, save for the continuous tapping of your pen on paper.
He says your name, pleading. “I’m trying here.”
At Jimin’s party, Jungkook said you were someone important to him. You don’t doubt that he meant it, and that’s what infuriates you the most. You’re important, but he keeps running circles around you and making your head spin. You’re important, but everything he’s done makes you think that you’re the opposite. You’re important, just not important enough to get an explanation.
You know he’s genuine about everything he says, but that’s not enough. You can’t sustain yourself on just his words alone.
It’s another cycle of the same conversation, running over and over and over again. He’s reaching out but he’s holding back. You’re still getting nowhere. You don’t know how many times he has to make you ask this, only to not give you any clarity at all.
If there is a trait of Jungkook’s that you both love and hate at the same time, it is that he doesn’t know when to quit.
He texts you every day even when you don’t reply - one for good morning, and one for goodnight. He gets you a chai latte every day, which doesn’t do shit for your concentration because there’s not enough caffeine in it. He gets the door for you whenever you go into the same room together. He hounds your every waking moment. He makes sure that he’s the first thing you see when you wake up, and the last thought that crosses your mind before you go to sleep.
I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.
You suppose this is him, showing up again. In a lot of ways, it’s selfish. But it’s an effort too. Now your phone is full of meaningless messages that remain unread.
You barely glance at him. It’s routine at this point. He tries in ways that you don’t bother acknowledging anymore, because you figured that the best course of action is to let him wear himself out. When he has had enough of it, when he deems his efforts to be enough to absolve his guilt, he’ll stop. He has to.
But at what point does it stop?
At what point will you stop wanting to give in to him? Your mind rages wars with itself every time you feel his eyes on you, and you have to kill the urge to not turn your head and look at him too. At what point will you stop wanting to go to him and let him in again? At what point will you stop unconsciously making him a priority?
All of this, you supposed, is to say: Do you still love him?
You know that if you sit down and get to the root of it, you’ll find an answer you don’t like. Even in this moment, you want him to tell you just a fraction of the truth, because that would probably be enough to reel you back in.
Your own heart claws at your chest but this is how it has to be for a while. All you can do is take it one day at a time, gently nudge your heart in one direction like a child that needs to be goaded, until he doesn’t live on the forefront of your mind anymore.
Until someone else does.
“No, you’re not.” You stand up then, closing your notebook with more force than necessary. “If you’re really trying, then I wouldn’t still be wondering why I wasn’t enough to make you stay.”
Even then, you’re still hoping that he’d say something else. But when you’re only met with silence, the anticipated disappointment in you bubbles, boiling. His reluctance to clue you in makes it easier for you to decide.
There's someone else who's willing to give you things that you don't even need to ask for.
In your mind, it's clear who you should choose.
Jungkook clenches his teeth, holding his breath as he watches you shove your things into your bag. “Are you going home?” he asks after a minute.
You could say yes and let the conversation die a swift and simple death. But for some reason, you choose to kill it violently. You bite the inside of your cheek before you tell him, “I don’t know. Yoongi’s picking me up.”
The chagrinned look that takes over his features for a split second is one that you immediately catch. Maybe it’s because he wants to make sure you know how he feels about this, or maybe you still have a way of reading him somehow. Regardless of what his face tells you, he doesn’t prod any further.
Your phone vibrates on the table, the sound ten times more thunderous amidst the silence that’s befallen the both of you. You don’t need to check the screen to know who’s calling, and neither does he. When you leave, the sound of your fading footsteps ricochets off the walls. It shoots right through him.
He hears every word of that conversation ringing in his ears then. He recalls that afternoon’s sunset; it was the most beautiful sunset he saw that year, despite the sun overhead mocking him with every magnificent glint of light. He sees the look on your face when his words finally register in your mind, the Oh moment when you understood what he was saying, when the smile you wore sunk helplessly to the floor because even though you knew that love had an expiration date, you hoped your love would be the exception.
That memory fades, only to be replaced by something much worse. He sits there with Jimin’s words, echoing in his mind, reverberating around the room.
Technically, you and Yoongi haven’t been on a second date. You think.
You’ve seen him almost every night since the dinner, when he picks you up at the studio. Sometimes, you two just drive around. Sometimes, you sit by the river in the cold, eating hot ramen cups and giggling over nothing. Sometimes, he just takes you straight to your home if he has a packed schedule the next day.
These days, you see Yoongi even more than you see Taehyung. Even though he hasn’t explicitly implied that any of these outings is a date, you know you aren’t hanging out as just friends anymore.
It feels good to be wanted. The feeling is reinforced tenfold because it’s been so long that it’s like you’re experiencing it for the first time in a new body, as a different person.
But even after all of that, you two can still go back to being friends like nothing ever happened. Because in a way, maybe nothing did happen. Maybe things have always been like this between you, the only difference is now you’re noticing the meaning behind his words and glances.
You two can still go back, because technically, no line has been crossed.
But tonight, something feels different. It’s colder, but Yoongi keeps you warm with all the looks he’s been giving you all night.
It feels like you’re both toeing that line right now.
You know that once you cross it, things can’t revert back to the way they were anymore.
You know that it will happen eventually, because Yoongi isn’t doing this just to half-ass it. He won’t back out, and he has made it crystal clear from the start.
Usually, this is the part where he tells you goodnight and you have to pretend not to freak out when he kisses you on the cheek in goodbye.
He takes a step closer, you take no step back.
“You know what I’m about to do, right?”
You do. You could say you’re even hopeful.
“I might have an idea…”
“Okay,” he says easily. He takes your waist in his hands and brings you closer. The way the corner of his mouth tugs upward tells you that he’s pleased, that you know what’s about to come and you’re letting it happen. Still, he asks, “Can I?”
You nod. That glowing sensation washes over you in waves.
“Words, princess,” he reminds you.
Your hands land on the lapel of his coat. “Yes, you can.”
He chuckles, and squeezes you a little tighter.
Then it happens.
The line you clumsily drew in the sand has been erased.
Yoongi is kissing you.
You’re kissing him back.
He’s soft and warm and he holds you like you’re delicate. His sincerity, you can feel it in his kiss, and it’s only a fraction of it. Regardless, there is still life that blooms this winter. Inside of you, small and fragile, but it’s there.
You sigh into his mouth, feeling completely limbless if not for him holding your body upright. One of his arms wounds itself tighter around your middle while his other hand tucks your hair behind your ear so he could cup your cheek more easily. Yoongi tilts his head further to one side to deepen the kiss. You feel something in his kiss that you have never heard in his words, something soft and pleading. Wanting but still contained. Out of fear that you might run away, perhaps? You can’t blame him though. You are a bit of a flight risk.
The wind dances past like a nosy bystander, pressing you further into him like it wants you to be more sure in the way you move, in how much of yourself you’re willing to give to him. Instead, the cold just makes you shiver.
When you break away, his hand on your face moves to hold the back of your head. Yoongi doesn’t look half as flushed as you think you do, though his cheeks are slightly rosy.
Through a thin veil of clouds, the moon still shines down on his profile.
The chill in the air, the mesmerizing view of moonlight dancing across his features, and most of all, the way you’re still lost in the kiss, in the feeling of being wanted.
“C’mon, I’ll walk you up,” he says, after you stay silent for a beat too long, hooded eyes basking in the warmth of a heart chasing your own. You want to want him. You do want him, but there’s still something missing. It doesn’t feel entirely right, but for now, you try not to dwell on it too much. Just let it be. Maybe in time, that void will inevitably fill.
Yoongi holds your hand through the lobby and on the whole way up even if neither of you says anything, just shy glances in the elevator and bashful half-hidden smiles. You don’t invite him in once you get to your door - because an invite now insinuates something that you just aren’t ready for - but he does kiss you again. If the kiss you shared downstairs is a proper goodnight kiss, then this one means see you later and doesn’t last half as long, but it makes you tingle just the same.
He pulls back, only to dive in again, and again, and again, until one chaste kiss turns into five and you have to push him away with a giggle so you can breathe.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, eyes still set on your mouth. “Couldn’t help myself.”
“Yoongi,” you say, a little breathily, like oxygen hasn’t sufficiently made its way into your lungs since downstairs.
He rests his forehead against yours. “You’ve never said my name like that before,” he sighs.
“Like what?”
“Like you want me to kiss you again.”
You tug your bottom lip between your teeth and pretend to consider this even though you know you would like to be kissed again. “Maybe I do,” you say after a beat, bravely. “Just one more.”
He gives you your final kiss of the night then, one that lasts a second longer than the others, like he’s trying to memorize how you taste.
You head in once Yoongi is out of sight. You lean your body against the door the second you snap the lock shut. You touch your lips lightly, reliving those moments again even though they happened mere seconds ago. You’re buzzing with excitement like a schoolgirl, every feeling coursing through your body all at once.
You’re familiar with this. It’s the stage right before every love song you listen to suddenly reminds you of that one person.
You go through your regular evening routine with a pep in your step, thanks to a certain date tonight. You take off your carefully applied makeup and take a nice, hot shower. You think the heat would help melt away the high that you’re riding - like you’ve had too much coffee to drink and now your senses are beyond heightened - but it doesn’t. Once you’re fresh and comfortable in your PJs, you still feel that jittery feeling seeping through your pores, keeping you awake. There’s a message from Yoongi that tells you he has made it home safely.
It’s still early, and you’re far too restless to go to bed. You decided to brew yourself a mug of chamomile tea, even though you don’t even like chamomile and you can’t remember why you even have it, but they say that apparently chamomile is good for sleep. You decide to take the mug into the living room to sort through your mini mountain of mail that should’ve been dealt with days ago.
Sitting underneath that pile of junk mail and letters addressed to the previous tenant even though you’ve lived here for nearly two years, is a cream-colored card addressed to you. The material feels smooth under your fingertips, like velvet if that’s even possible. Inside, there are two names - one you recognize and another you don’t - typed out in a fancy calligraphy font and encircled by pretty flowers, all pinks and whites and romantic.
The saccharine sensation associated with the thought of Yoongi dissipates instantly. Instead, your mind blanks, only to buzz to life again momentarily with a newfound sinking feeling dragging you down.
You suddenly realize that Jungkook hasn’t crossed your mind once tonight. Not until now. That crestfallen look in his eyes from the other night appears in your mind again, clear as day.
You are, quite literally, holding someone’s declaration of love and yet, it’s not joy that you feel, having been asked to join them on their special day.
You never thought you would see Jungkook’s family again - even though you always adored his parents and you felt that they loved you too - let alone receive an invitation to his brother’s wedding.
remember when y'all said u wanted a wedding?? well u didn't say whose wedding 😌
— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted march 27, 2023]
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