#hobbits: small people we should ALL aspire to be more like

[arc-en-disco]

Samwise Gamgee, humble gardener and lover of trees, with a bouquet of wildflowers.

All pencil with a bit of fineliner

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: A Long-Expected Party

There’s something so incredibly endearing about the slow, meandering beginning of LotR.

Even today—in a day and age when every author tries to grab you by the eyeballs in the first five words—Tolkien’s writing still has that gentle, irresistible draw that takes you by the hand and leads you slowly but surely into adventure. Something about a “birthday party of special magnificence” just appeals to all our inner children, I think; and the tiny mysteries, and the joy of a world of fantastical creatures living in peace and comfort, just adds to that. You want to go to Middle Earth, and you want to get lost in it. It’s like a lazy river at a water park; you wade in, get settled, and relax, and the next thing you know you’re far away from where you started.

All of that to say, Tolkien’s writing is goals and I aspire to be even a fraction of what this man was someday.

Anyway. To the bullet points!

Isn’t it hilarious how quick people are to begrudge one another their good fortune?? If Bilbo had been poor and died in a timely manner his neighbors would probably have liked him just fine, but he gets a lot of wealth and lives a long time and all the hobbits go >:-(

They’re not wrong to be suspicious, of course, but it’s still a biting social commentary. And very funny!

“As Mr. Baggins was generous with his money, most people were willing to forgive him his oddities and his good fortune.” 🤣

“You should come live with me so we can celebrate our birthday parties more comfortably together” belongs in the same category as C. S. Lewis’ “and they got so used to arguing that they married each other to keep doing it more conveniently”

“And suddenly, all the old people found that everyone actually WANTED to hear their rambling stories!”

GAFFER GAMGEE MY BELOVED

Hobbits are all so terribly prejudiced. What endearing morons.

Ooh, confirmation that Bilbo and Frodo look similar!

“There never was much to tell of him! … Till he was drownded.” “DROWNDED??”

I love that the only things we know about Drogo Baggins are that he was unremarkable and fat and married a strange woman

The Gaffer: “Thank goodness Mr. Bilbo saved young Mr. Frodo from those strange, dastardly Bucklanders…”

Meanwhile, Merry feels his eye Twitch and doesn’t know why 🤣

The spelling of jewels as “jools” is adorable for reasons I can’t describe

Tiny Gaffer Gamgee saw Bilbo come home from his Adventure!!

The Gaffer’s words are strangely prophetic. Sam did indeed land in trouble that was bigger than him—and thank goodness he did.

The Gaffer basically says here “if generosity is being strange, we could do with a lot more strangeness!” and honestly that’s a motto I want to live by

I love that Sam is most likely the one who started the rumor about the fireworks X-D

I wish we’d gotten to see the Dwarves visiting Bag End in the movies. It’s a shame they were cut. Imagine what cool costumes they could have had!

“G for grand!” and Gandalf’s smile. Ugh, my heart 🥹

Pity that September 22nd fell on a Friday this year. We were so close to it being a Thursday, like in the book! Oh well. Try again another year, I guess X-D

Are small business owners grumbling about your purchases from foreign parts?? Here’s an easy solution! Just BUY OUT THE STOCK OF EVERYONE FOR MILES AROUND IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS

Also the fact that the post offices are absolutely flooded 🤣 Bilbo, you madlad

“Old Gaffer Gamgee stopped even pretending to work on his garden” LOL

The brief paragraph of NOOO BAD WEATHER THE DAY BEFORE THE PARTY is honestly spectacular. It’s so nerve-wracking for just a second there—which is hilarious in light of the war and death and GIANT SPIDERS we’re going to read about. I think it has a flavor of Tolkien’s beliefs on eucatastrophe hidden in there—it’s not out of Bilbo’s own effort that the weather cleared up just in time for his party, it was just happy providence—but I’m too tired to write an essay about it right now.

“Half the Shire’s been invited…and the rest of them are turning up anyway!”

The hobbits who came through the gate again to get a second present 🤣🤣🤣

“The hobbit-children were so excited that for a while they almost forgot about eating.” That’s impressive!!

I love that some of the toys are dwarven-made. That’s such a cool detail that makes the world seem both fantastical (because dwarves!) and real (because you can Amazon order toys from them!) at the same time.

The names of the fireworks!! Especially the ones that are onomatopoeia, like “backarappers”! It just makes brain go ✨✨✨

Pfffft, yellow rain

There’s the express train reference!

Notable difference here: in the movies, the big dragon firework was set off ahead of schedule by Merry and Pippin, and all the hobbits freak out. In the book, the big dragon firework is set off right on time to signal supper, and all the hobbits freak out (but are immediately pacified by food).

Small detail I’d like to see in more fanfics: “Bilbo had been specializing in food for many years, and his table had a high reputation.” Yes, the idea of Bilbo and Frodo eating like the bachelors they are is hilarious, BUT! We have textual evidence to the contrary! I don’t know if this line means that Bilbo was a magnificent cook himself or simply hired magnificent cooks, but either way, it’s canon that the Bag End bachelors ate like kings!

“The feast was so incredible that everyone was incredibly full and took home leftovers and no one bought any new groceries for weeks. The good news is that Bilbo had bought out all the grocery stores anyway, so it was fine.”

Why is the detail about the golden buttons on Bilbo’s waistcoat so enchanting to me?? I really think this chapter just activates the Inner Child Mode in my brain, and suddenly even something as simple as shiny buttons becomes beautiful and magical. Also it’s just a lovely way to paint a vivid picture in my mind.

I’m so glad they kept so many of the jokes in Bilbo’s speech for the movies 🤣 “PROUDFEET!!”

And now here we see Tolkien, author of the fantasy epic that has defined the genre for a century and counting, unironically using caps lock. Folks, you can’t make this crap up.

The sneaky way Tolkien says Bilbo vanished before he mentions the flash of light is Very Good and hints at the fact that there’s something else at work here

Rory Brandybuck is the G.O.A.T.

“But at the same time he felt deeply troubled: he realized suddenly that he loved the old hobbit dearly.” Aww, Frodo…

Incredible that the debate between Bilbo and Gandalf over the Ring takes up almost four pages, but it doesn’t feel like it. Excellent suspense.

I wonder where Gandalf is going “to bed”. It doesn’t look like he’s staying in Bag End, so did he get a room at an inn somewhere? Is he sleeping in his cart??

Also it’s implied later in the book that Gandalf the White doesn’t sleep. Inconsistency?? A slight untruth?? Secret powerup to Gandalf the White that we’ve overlooked??

“The sun rose. The hobbits rose rather later.” Pffft

The SHADE in all the presents oh my WORD

Except for the ones for the poorer hobbits. Bilbo’s gift for the Gaffer is so simple in its contents, and yet so generous and thoughtful 🥹

MERRY MY LAD

MY FAVORITE HOBBIT (don’t tell the others)

How old would Merry have been here?? Like nineteen?? Incredible that he was already such a logistics guy that Frodo trusted him to keep an eye on the house while all the chaos is happening.

“Do you hear that, Merry? That was an insult, if you like.” “It was a compliment, and so, of course, not true.” HAHAHAHA DRAG HIM MERRY

“IF YOU DON’T LET ME IN, FRODO, I SHALL BLOW YOUR DOOR RIGHT DOWN YOUR HOLE AND OUT THROUGH THE HILL” 🤣🤣🤣

Frodo: “I’m so sorry, I thought you were Lobelia!” Gandalf: “Understandable, have a nice day”

“I would give them Bag End and everything else, if I could get Bilbo back and go off tramping in the country with him.” N’aww, Frodoooo 😭

“Look out for me, especially at unlikely times!” Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.…

“Frodo did not see him again for a long time.” Ooh, ominous.

[inkinghubris]

Hemingway and Other Things You Shouldn't Talk About

Hemingway Said, You Do Not Talk About Writing

Rule number one: You do not talk about writing. Rule number two: You do NOT talk about writing! I always picture Brad Pitt walking around telling a group of authors all the rules before a furious word slinging writers event, in some dark, seedy basement covered in sweat and coffee stains.

Hemingway and Fight Club have things in common, such as rules about not talking. Obviously this is not the case. However, as writers we have a series of unwritten laws that we tend to either abide or pretend to be oblivious too. I am Jack's complete lack of interest. Writers Have Heroes, Too As writers, we have authors as heroes just as those school kids look up to athletes. Stephen King, Ernest Hemingway, Henry Miller and Stu Stein, to name a few. These authors broke the first rule of Writing Club: they all have a publication called On Writing. "Throughout Ernest Hemingway's career as a writer," says Larry W. Phillips in his introduction to Ernest Hemingway on Writing, "he maintained that it was bad luck to talk about writing." So what else are we mortal writer's, superstitious or otherwise, not supposed to do or say? There is quite a list, actually. I am Jack's bleeding heart. Rule #1 As we have established, it is bad luck to talk about writing. Thanks, Ernest. Why, though? Basically, as Hemingway explains further, it is better to just write and not speak of it. In his method of removing all the bullshit and leaving behind only the greatness. I disagree with this almost completely. Almost. I feel that we are just glorified campfire story-tellers. It is our duty to tell stories. Written down for others to enjoy at their leisure, obviously, that's why we are "writers". At the core of it all, however, we tell stories. Talking about our stories is just in our nature. I am Jack's gaping mouth. I do agree with the concept that we shouldn't brag, and we also shouldn't try to school or teach every passer-by with our knowledge of the process. Just tell the story, mate. Rule #2 Another no-no myth is that we should write perfect. I am Jack's decaying ego. As the saying goes: practice makes perfect. I disagree. I used to tell my football teams that practice does NOT make perfect, only perfect practice makes perfect. They just looked at me and nodded "yes coach".

Don't practice writing, practice perfect writing. In writing, this same method applies to an extent. If you practice writing you will get better, but only so far as you write perfect. The problem is that no one just writes perfectly out of the box. If we did, there would be no need for drafts and we would just pump out perfect final drafts day in and day out. James Patterson was said to have written over a million words before he wrote his first novel. Writing makes you write better, but to write better you don't just write words, you write better words. The one issue I have with this is that trying to write every word perfectly distracts from the art. Instead, I suggest that you just write. Worry only about perfection while editing and focus on writing perfectly whilst writing the final draft. Otherwise, just write. Rule #3 Don't write like your idols. Sigh. I have heard this over and over and over and every time it upsets me to no end. Believe it or not, there is a finite number of writing genres. We are drawn towards certain ones and turned off by others. I, for example, love thriller and horror and dislike romance and most young adult. Having authors as idols is not a bad thing and if we aspire to be an author then who should we emulate? Our idols. Exactly. So why are we told not to? The reasons vary from one mouth to another, but the main theme seems to be that we should write our own style in our own voice. I tend to believe, though, that our own style and voice will come out, anyway. We should write like our idols. I don't write romance, and would never try to emulate Nicholas Sparks. However, writing horror I see nothing wrong trying to write in similar styles of King, Koontz or Barker. Will I ever write a book and have a publisher read it and say... "Hey! did Clive Barker write this?" No. That will never happen. However, if I am trying to sell a horror book and someone compares it to Clive Barker, then I should feel overwhelmingly excited about that. Writing like your idols is never a bad thing. Rule #4 You should never ask your mom for feedback. Again, heavy sigh. Friends and family are essential for writers' feedback, especially if you are just starting out. While it is true that mom and dad will have a harder time giving you negative feedback (generally) this is not a bad thing. As a writer, you will experience enough setbacks and hardships and negativity to last five lifetimes. Eventually it will harden you, make you better, make you more fierce. In the beginning though, it's detrimental to your writing career. If you start out with negative feedback, you will eventually believe it. Having mom coo and gush over your first few works will help boost your ego and keep you going. From there, you will begin perfect practice and have thousands more words under your belt. You must seek out your mom and close friends for feedback in the beginning (and again any time you need to return to your happy place of believing you can accomplish this task). It is essential, and helpful. I am Jack's boastful pride. Rule #5

If you don't know, believe you know. Base it on natural physics or biology and readers will believe it as real, too. Write what you know. This is tricky and I agree with it to a very limited extent. Readers (and publishers alike) know when you are bullshitting them. If you are writing about car mechanics and you know nothing of repairing an engine, you will turn your readers off. Once you lose a reader because you don't know what you are talking about, they will never believe another word you write, if they even finish the book. However, just writing what you know will severely limit what you write about. And what about things that no one knows about? Aliens, vampires, deep space... if we only ever wrote what we knew, then books like Lewis' Narnia or Tolkien's ring quests and hobbits, would never exist. I take the phrase "write what you know" and change it slightly to "write what you believe." A simple change that allows the author to have a slight edge in the truthfulness in the story. I am Jack's cancer-ridden mind. We Don't Know Everything Certainly no one knows about hobbits, but Tolkien believed in them so much that what he said about them was a gospel of truth. No one doubts hobbits because Tolkien didn't doubt them. However, we can't always write absolute fantasy. So you should know your material. You need to know how wounds heal, how radios operate, or how television signals work. Otherwise, if you bull shit these small details, You won't have much success. Roald Dahl wouldn't have such success with Willy Wonka. Sure there is a great deal of fantasy in that chocolate factory, but imagine if Dahl had simply made up how television signals work? We would never believe that it was possible to travel through those television waves and might have put the book down. Believe what you write and learn what you do not know. Don't be afraid of research and get the small details right. Rule #6 Don't write cliche. The main problem I have with this "advice" is that we then have to define what is cliche. Then, further, if we don't write cliche, there wouldn't be cliche to write. The issue there is that cliche works. That is why it is cliche. Now you are asking yourself how many more times can I possibly say that word in one paragraph. The answer is 97. However, I will refrain. Yes, the works can be overworked or even trite. They are important. This is never more obvious than when you get ideas for stories. Just like Hollywood, the literary world goes around in a circle. For example, right now we have an influx of super hero movies that followed a slew of Romance and Romantic comedies. True, too, will be that the literary world will follow suit. Wizards and broom stick games followed by vampires and werewolves. It's all a Cycle Horror is popular when Young Adult is on the decline and Romance blooms when Fantasy fades. Just because you write cliche projects (96) don't worry about it. You may have to put it in a drawer and forget it for a few years, but soon and once again, the time will be right and people will be clamoring for that long-forgotten cliche (95) to be unleashed. Don't be afraid to complete a project, just because the market is currently flooded with a similar style of work doesn't mean it won't get noticed. "It's only after we've lost everything that we are free to do anything." Rule #7 You must find your unique voice. Umm. This is such a convoluted piece of advice. Yes, you do, but no, you do not. Confused? You should be. I spent too many wasted hours trying to follow this seemingly simple "fact". Hours I will never get back. Quickly (as I have other posts and pages about voice here that go into deeper detail), voice is not how you talk or the sounds that come from your characters mouths. Voice is, in essence, a style. The catch, however, is that your book's voice is unique to that book. Your voice will change from project to project. Do you need to find it? The real answer is that you will notice the voice emerging as you work. From draft to draft your project's voice will emerge and you can then focus more on it. For now, in the beginning, it isn't such a big worry. It will come and if it doesn't, then that is one tale-tell sign that perhaps that particular project isn't making the finish line. Rule #8 Finally, the old tale to ensure you write every single day. You must write X amount of words, or for X amount of hours every single day if you are going to be successful. There are so many "facts" to support this: King writes 2000 words every day and won't stop until he's done it. Or, Koontz ensures, he writes for a minimum of 2 hours each day. Yes, that method works for some, even a lot of, people. However, these famous authors are paid to write. Are you yet paid to write every day? I know that I am not. I have work, and children and family and friends and shopping to do and places to go. Let's be frank. You need to make the time to write. It does need to be a habit that you can do and get into. If it's ever a chore, then perhaps it isn't for you. It is nice to have goals. However, I will fight to the death against anyone that says I must write a certain amount or for a certain time every single day. We Have Lives I have a life. You do too. While you, like me, want to make a career from writing, you also have other obligations and other spontaneous things that appear that take our time, focus and attention away. Go with it. Get a break. Take a day or even two off. Go outside. Research. Read. Watch a movie. Get some sun on your skin. Go shopping. You do not have to write every single day. Just as long as you don't fall in the hole and make not-writing the habit. I am Jack's exhausted colon. Write. Write often. Get lost in it. Talk about it. Get positive feedback. Enjoy what you do and do it with a fervor and a vigor that rivals pure passion. Read the full article

[galespider]

REALLY  LONG CHARACTER SURVEY - Gale Spider

REALLY  LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost, don’t reblog!  good luck!

TAGGED BY: @the-fallen-creation!!

TAGGING: Anyone who really wants to do this! I don’t want to force anyone who wants to but maybe @ksilberne, @wamoura, @avwalya, @kha-merc-ffxiv, @red-dawnbringer and others!!

This is really long and a bit complicated x _ x So with that, I will stick with doing my main character.

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Gale Spider

NICKNAME: None (Maybe Gaelicat??)

AGE: 24

BIRTHDAY: September 15th

ETHNIC GROUP: Miqo’te, Seeker of the Sun

NATIONALITY: Eorzean

LANGUAGE(S): Miqo’te tongue, Eorzean

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Straight

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Heteroromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: In a relationship

CLASS: Middle

HOMETOWN / AREA: A village located in the Sagolii Desert

CURRENT HOME: Gridania

PROFESSION: Adventurous healer/wiccan for hire

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Blue long straight hair that extends towards the lower back.

EYES: Red with slit pupils from Seeker of the Sun traits.

NOSE: Normal size

FACE: Heart shaped, kind of round.

LIPS: Smooth and full. Shines when in the light, only just a little.

COMPLEXION: Smooth, Pale, a little dry on the skin but mostly soft.

BLEMISHES: None

SCARS: None

TATTOOS: None

HEIGHT: 5′0″

WEIGHT: ??? Unknown

BUILD: Regular hourglass feature.

FEATURES: Slit pupils from Seeker of the Sun and fangs!

ALLERGIES: She might be allergic to dust mites.

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: Mostly prefers long hair, would occasionally go for short.

USUAL FACE LOOK: Simper smile to those who talk to her in a conversation. Looks innocent at first glance. Just don’t irritate her.

USUAL CLOTHING: Just any dresses that look really cute on her. She would mostly wear a red bindi from her mother and a spider lily hair accessory. Healing attire that also catches her eyes. She’s mostly broad on what she wears. In her casual moments, she would wear something that relates to “upper class” but maintains her casual side.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR(S): Loosing those closest to her. Irrational fears would be bugs. She also fears of being left alone.

ASPIRATION(S): To help those in need of healing and help with those injured either mentally or physically.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Semi-outgoing, always puts a smile to reassure that everything is alright. The one to start conversations.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Could get irritated easily, may have a sailor’s mouth if someone pushes her buttons. She could get impatient.

ZODIAC: Virgo

TEMPERAMENT: Phlegmatic

SOUL TYPE(S): Healer (Soul Crystal?? White Mage)

ANIMALS: Owl

VICE  HABIT(S): Staying and overworking overnight taking care of the injured

FAITH: The Twelve 

GHOSTS?: Yes

AFTERLIFE?: We will see

REINCARNATION?: Maybe??

ALIENS?: Yes

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: N.A

ECONOMIC PREFERENCE: Does not want to tell

SOCIO POLITICAL POSITION: N.A

EDUCATION LEVEL: College intelligence but doesn’t show it strongly. 

FAMILY

FATHER: Unknown, alive (Will figure out one day)

MOTHER: Unknown, alive (Will figure out one day)

SIBLINGS: Kira Setsuna

EXTENDED FAMILY: None. Although maybe three more older siblings.

NAME MEANING(S): Gale came from my favorite element, wind. Spider is based off of Spider from Megaman X: Command Mission.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: She has Wiccan blood running through her coming from her mother, who resided in Gridania. She may have Keeper of the Moon traits, but being born in the desert made her a Seeker of the Sun.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: Any fiction ranging from witches, warlocks, romantic novels.

MOVIE: Rarely watches any.

5 SONGS: ... I am just gonna link it here http://galespider.tumblr.com/post/149340915708/character-name-music

DEITY: Oschon the Wanderer

HOLIDAY: Loooves Starlight festivities (Christmas)

MONTH: October

SEASON: Autumn

PLACE: Zenith, Gridania, The Peaks

WEATHER: Breezy and calm bright weather

SOUND: Birds chirping early in the morning

SCENT(S): Herbs of all kind, the smell of orchids

TASTE(S): Minty, warm tea

FEEL(S): Soft wool fabric, soft fluffy things

ANIMAL(S): Owls, Small birds

NUMBER: 6

COLORS: Red and Blue. Sometimes Green

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Would like to dance one day, good decent measure of voice for singing

BAD AT: Looking out for herself. Keeping to herself, over-helping others to the point that others might be annoyed.

TURN ONS: Would rather not say ;)

TURN OFFS: No thank you.

HOBBIES: Reading, making herbal remedies, doodle, 

TROPES:  Off-into-the-Distance Ending, World of Symbolism, Girl Friday

AESTHETIC TAGS: Dress, fabric, wool, herbs, cabin, candles, fun witch, wiccan, healer, crystals, stones, mushrooms, fantasy critters, spider lilies, autumn, flowers, potions, forest, sunrise

GPOY  QUOTES: (... What?)

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC(S): Herself

ALT FC(S): N/A

OLDER FC(S): Here

YOUNGER  FC(S): N/A (I should have drawn more of her little)

VOICE CLAIM(S): Christina Vee,  Kaori Mizuhashi

GENDERBENT FC(S): Here c: 

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: IF YOU COULD WRITE YOUR CHARACTER YOUR WAY IN THEIR OWN MOVIE, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED, WHAT STYLE WOULD IT BE FILMED IN, AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?:

Anything that involves Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit. Something that makes Gale travel to different places with conflicts, drama, funny moments, and the likes with her friends and her brother.

Q2: WHAT WOULD THEIR SOUNDTRACK / SCORE SOUND LIKE?:

I am really lazy. But just look at the 5 songs mentioned. x_X Above ^^^

Q3: WHY DID YOU START WRITING THIS CHARACTER?:

She along with my other characters are from FFXIV. And somehow, FFXIV gave me that amount of ideas to write or think about their backgrounds and how they meet people.

Q4: WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?:

The way I created them in character creation in FFXIV. But Krowell Au Ra was literally ripped off from Ayanami from 07 Ghost.

Q5: DESCRIBE THE BIGGEST THING YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR MUSE:

I can’t really say I would hate them. 

Q6: WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR MUSE?:

A lot, actually. She and I mostly or practically share the same personality.

Q7: HOW DOES YOUR MUSE FEEL ABOUT YOU?:

She would definitely be disappointed if she sees me procrastinate in life.  But at the same time, she would probably understand that life takes just one step at a time no matter how hectic it may be.

Q8: WHAT CHARACTERS DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS WITH?

She has interesting interactions with my other characters. http://galespider.tumblr.com/post/177796279983/my-final-fantasy-xiv-characters-gale-spider-from

If it was Gaoithe Sagittus, she would tease him and love him since they are both in a relationship with each other. Krowell, would be sort of difficult since they would both not see eye to eye. But Gale is willingly able to open conversations with him as time goes on, and they finally and slowly get along. Raksha, was extremely difficult since he was a PoW. Due to his unstable mind by being used as a weapon, he acts almost innocent, childish but scared around people who approach him. Gale is able to break his barrier by taking care of him and is able to talk to him, although not with difficult speech.

Q9: WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION TO WRITE YOUR MUSE?:

FFXIV!! That’s all I have to say!!

Q10: HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE YOU TO COMPLETE?:

Quite a while ... But it was really fun to do at the same time! Sorry for my short answers!

[mrx-bees-for-eyes]

Pro writing tips I was taught

BIG NUMBER 1 

If you want to improve your writing, he’s a super cool tip. When you’re by yourself, read it out loud like your an audiobook reader. 

Your writing and dialogue will start flowing 100% better and you will catch repeated words and phrases easier.  

Also, reading it like an audiobook reader (giving each character different voices, and using compelling pauses for effect) you can get into the mind of the character. You’ll also notice where a sentence should break, and where it shouldn’t break. You’ll catch when a section of your writing is too wordy, or when there should be more descriptions.

Number 2. 

Setting changes. If you want to change the seen, keep these four points in mind. How much time has progressed? Who’s in the scene? What’s the tone? How does it relate to the last scene? It really helps the reader understand how one scene relates to scenes they’ve already read. These four points create smooth transition.

Number 3.

Descriptions. I notice a big problem with my writing is describing a scene effectively. A LOT can be said with your characters environment and it can create a perfect tone. It also allows a writer to add foreshadowing. I have a little trick that helps with descriptions. Wright one paragraph. Each sentence has something different about the scene, then go back and flesh out each sentence by making a small paragraph about it. 

Live example from my own writing. 

“Ti’el sat in his cell holding a book. He waited for the other prisoners to come in from the fields after a long day of labor. It didn’t take long before they started filtering in, being arranged into each of their cells by the guards. They were quiet as they waited for Ti’ell to begin reading.”

There is a lot to be desired, and this is the first paragraph of the story. You don’t want the reader to get lost in the description, but you ESPECIALLY don’t want them left feeling like they’re missing a lot of information. Too much is way better than too little.

Edited “Ti’ell sat quietly in his cell, looking over a book that was given to him by a guard. He waited for the afternoon shift to finish their yard duties before they get escorted back to their own cells. It was this time of day, that he looked forward to. It wasn't long before the sun cast it's light through the window onto the third brick from the entrance of his cell and he knew their shift was over. 

The men and women shuffled into their chambers, as always. No one wanted to ruin their chance of hearing the next chapter of the story, so they “behaved” themselves, but everyone had a sneaking suspicion that no one in this prison had truly committed a crime. 

Once everyone seemed to be settled, the guards went to their positions, but Ti’ell suspected that, they too, liked to hear the story. He stood up, packed his book under his arm, grabbed his water skin, walked to the other side of his small living space and sat in front of the door. in front of the door. He pressed his back to the bars, opened the book, set it into the ray of light, and began to read loudly so everyone in his prison wing could hear.”

Notice how much information was pumped into each point without giving away too much of the plot, at the same time, the story was still progressing. (That’s enough self praise for the day)

Number 4.

The beginning. Probably the hardest part of writing, but honestly, it doesn’t have to be. Most people are under the impression that their stories needs to start off with the main characters normal routine. This makes sense especially if you’re creating a fantasy world and your reader needs to get accustomed to how different this world is compared to their own. Just dipping their toes in a little

PUSH THEM INTO THE FUCKING LAKE AND LET THEM FLOUNDER! Readers love that. 

Notice, every fantasy novel epic you’ve ever read rarely starts off with the routine, but actually starts off with how their routine is broken. In Harry Potter, Harry got his letter. In Eregon, Eregon found the egg. In The Hobbit, Bilbo was visited by Gandalf. I can give you years worth of examples. 

The sooner you break the protagonists routine, the more pulled in the reader will be. Humans have a natural desire to have their routine broken because we are curious creatures. Instead of starting with their life, then having an event change it forever. Start with an event that changed their lives forever and how they are going to try to adjust to it. That’s what being human is all about.

Number 5 and MOST IMPORTANTLY:

YOU ARE A WRITER!!! Something that was told to me by the local writer is “You’re not an ‘aspiring writer’ you’re a writer. You don’t become a writer when you’re published, your a writer because you write. If you love writing, then take on the title of a writer.” This is the most important thing ever said to me back when I was an insecure sixteen year old in 2013, and if I ever make it big as a writer, I’m going to say this to every “aspiring writer” that I meet.

Number six: 

Break RULES and do your research!

Say “said” 100 times. 

Put “But” “And” at the beginning of a sentence and replace an object with “it” occasionally. 

Write what you don’t know. 

Get out of your comfort zone. 

Write about torture, drugs, scandal and PTSD. But do your in depth research. We have a vast plethora of information at our fingertips. Doctors can give you in well studied diagrams on how cancer kills you, and reddit has a million first hand encounters with torture, drugs, and mental illness. 

SPOILER FOR GAME OF THRONES Do you think George RR Martin knows what it’s like to watch your father get beheaded? No. But he did his research on childhood trauma and he did a damn good job. 

Do you think Paolini knew anything about long winded horseback journeys and medieval living? probably not at first, he lives in the 21rst fucking century. BUT he did his research and fucking makes chainmail in his garage. (fuckin neeeerd)

It’s okay to break rules. 

The “write what you know” rule was fine in an age where we didn’t have access to information. Now we do. Write whatever the fuck you want. 

Number seven and final: 

The difference between a talent and a skill is skills only need practice, and a talent comes naturally. Singing is a talent and writing is a skill. 

When you start writing, even if you’re bad at it, you will get better. Your brain changes as you write and you start remembering better descriptive adjectives. You’ll start seeing the world in words and how you would describe a scene in your life on paper. You’ll improve your spelling and punctuation. 

That only comes with time. 

Becoming a good writer is the easiest thing to do because all you have to do is keep writing. You don’t really need special classes. You don’t need a tutor or special tools. You just gotta sit down and do what you love. (But having a dictionary and a thesaurus available is super helpful)

It’s also the hardest skill to hone, because the best way to improve is through feedback and convincing someone to read your work, even if it’s really good, is hard.

If you take anything away from this self inflated blurb of words let it be this.

Never. Stop. Writing. 

[dawnfelagund]

In the course of talking about FanFiction.net on my journal, a number of people mentioned that they were considering posting there again if only because they perceived they might get more comments there than on AO3. I have started posting again to FanFiction.net in order to access their very detailed click/comment data, and I wasn’t seeing more comments than I was getting on AO3, which led me to ask: Is there a difference between Silmarillion sections on the different sites in terms of the comments the average author can expect to receive?

I also dredged up some new data and revisited the question @simaethae asked me a couple weeks ago of whether and how commenting has changed in the last decade-plus of the Silmarillion fanfic community. Has commenting really dropped?

The short answers to both questions, based on this research: Not really and yes.

For data, analysis, and to discuss the research, click the link above to read the article on my blog The Heretic Loremaster. However, I will also put the full text below the jump here, since it’s not terribly long (for me).

The conversation here and on my tumblr lately has focused on comments and the history of commenting in the Tolkien fandom. (See this conversation with Simaethae on Tumblr for discussion of how commenting has changed in the past twelve years.) I’ve also been thinking a lot about commenting data and how it is best to collect and interpret this data.

In the course of doing the latter, I’ve begun posting again to FanFiction.net, mostly to have access to the very specific statistics they collect about comments. I heard from a few people, when I wrote on my journal about trying this, that they were considering posting again to FanFiction.net because they believed they might get some comments on their work there, whereas they were not receiving many comments on AO3. (I had stopped posting at FanFiction.net when the administration refused to take any action against bullying, especially against teenage authors.)

This made me wonder: Do authors get more comments on FanFiction.net than elsewhere? Is there something of the older fandom culture there? One of my theories about why feedback has decreased in the Silmarillion fanfic community is that, ten years ago, there was a wide perception that people wrote fanfic in order to improve as writers, and we tended to perceive ourselves as all helping each other toward that goal. FanFiction.net still expresses that philosophy, once near-universal in the Tolkien fanfic community, in their Story Guidelines that are available when posting a new story to the site:

3. Respect the reviewers. Not all reviews will strictly praise the work. If someone rightfully criticizes a portion of the writing, take it as a compliment that the reviewer has opted to spend his/her valuable time to help improve your writing.

4. Everyone here is an aspiring writer. Respect your fellow members and lend a helping a hand when they need it. Like many things, the path to becoming a better writer is often a two way street.

The idea that we are all writing because we are aspiring toward writing excellence seems far less prevalent today than it once was, and I wondered if this was behind the drop in commenting in recent years.

So I decided to take a look to see if there is a difference in commenting across the Silmarillion sections of multiple sites. I looked at An Archive of Our Own (AO3), FanFiction.net (FFN), Many Paths to Tread (MPTT), and the Silmarillion Writers’ Guild (SWG). All of these sites make it possible to filter out only the Silmarillion stories.

The methodology I used:

I started with stories posted two weeks ago, beginning on December 10, and worked back from there. There’s a good reason why a story posted in the last 48 hours wouldn’t have many (or any!) comments: People just haven’t had a chance to read and react to it yet! Going back two weeks made my data more fair toward sites like AO3 that have a large number of stories being posted per day.

I looked only at one-chapter stories in the Silmarillion section.

I looked only at stories written in English.

I listed the number of comments and clicks beginning on December 10 and worked back from there, until I had collected data from ten stories on each site. On AO3, I counted only top-level comments since comment replies count toward the comment count reported on the story stats. FFN, unfortunately, does not make click data public, so that data is missing.

Here is the data chart:

Some observations:

On all sites except MPTT–which had dismally low comment rates in its Silmarillion section–you can expect to get about the same number of comments: one, maybe two, per single-chapter story.

You are more likely to get more than two comments on AO3 and FFN.

You are most likely to hear from at least one reader on the SWG: Only 10% of the stories I looked at had no comments. That number was 20% on AO3 and 30% on FFN.

Reading rates, however, were much more variable. Surprisingly, your story is going to get the most readers on MPTT–however, you’ll hardly ever hear from them. I expected higher click counts on AO3, which is by far the busiest Silmarillion section online right now. However, it doesn’t seem like the high number of users necessarily translates into a lot of traffic on individual stories, perhaps because there are enough stories being posted there that readers can afford to be particular. Click counts were lower than I expected on the SWG (although I have suspected they were falling for a while now, I was still startled by how low they actually are), but even with relatively few readers, you’re likely to hear something on your story.

Comment-to-click ratios were the highest on the SWG, where one reader out of thirty-nine comments. On AO3, one reader out of sixty-four comments.

I wish I had click data for FFN, but even without it, it doesn’t seem like a Silmarillion author is going to do much better there than on AO3 or the SWG.

Overall, I think this data also presents a pretty glum picture of commenting in the Silmarillion fanfic community right now. If you post a Silmarillion story today, in two weeks, you might hear from one, maybe two, readers. Obviously, some authors have much higher rates of feedback–but at the same time, there are authors who hear nothing, or almost nothing, on their work.

On this post about commenting, I suggested that many readers might lack the confidence and skills to write comments that they feel are meaningful to authors. The discussion around this idea was really good, and I won’t say much more on it here, but what did arise during that discussion that changed my thinking somewhat is the difference between small, intimate archives and large, generalized archives and quality of relationships most users form there. I think the data does bear this out, keeping in mind that it is a very limited sample. (I should start doing this regularly to see if these trends hold.) The SWG, based on click data alone, is the smallest of the three sites for which click data is available. My own experience as the owner of that site is that it tends to be a more intimate setting, and most people who participate there tend to be acquainted with each other (and, in some cases, have deep, years-long friendships). And you’re more likely to hear from a reader there than on AO3 and especially MPTT, which seem to have more people willing to read a Silmarillion story but less likely to speak to an author about it.

In conclusion, it seems to me that, if we aspire to raise rates of commenting in the Silmarillion community, it might require a couple of approaches. First is to increase the resources and systems available to help readers develop the skills to write comments. But I think that increasing the intimacy in the community will also help. Talking with some friends–most of them SWG users–in response to my complaint that Tumblr is the primary place where discussions of The Silmarillion occur (and Tumblr is universally regarded as terrible for discussions), many were interested in having the ability to discuss Tolkien in a location off of Tumblr. As I ponder the direction for the SWG site redesign, this is definitely at the forefront of my mind.

And one final footnote about commenting in earlier eras of fandom history: I am perusing old Metafandom posts for a paper I’m researching, and I encountered numerous posts bemoaning the lack of comments and making the same pleas that I hear today about the need for readers to do their part in supporting the work of authors they enjoy. Metafandom was a multifandom community that collected links to discussions in fandom. It was not heavily used by the Tolkienfic community. But it reminds me that dissatisfaction with the amount of comments one receives is certainly not a new complaint.

However, I do think the situation has worsened. I looked back at the Silmarillion section on FFN for 29 November 2004. Unfortunately, the Wayback Machine only saved the first page, so I could not follow  the methodology of going two weeks back and looking at the data for the ten single-chapter stories posted on or before that date. Instead, I looked at the ten oldest single-chapter stories on that page, which were all posted two weeks or before November 29. The median number of reviews was two.

By the next snapshot I was able to find for 20 February 2009, activity in the Silmarillion section has slowed to where I could follow the methodology using just the first page of stories; the median number of comments is still two. Same for 3 March 2009: The median is two for the ten oldest stories on the first page.

By 9 October 2013, however–in the heart of the Hobbit film trilogy and with activity clearly picked up in the Silmarillion section of FFN–the median number of comments is down to one per story, following the methodology where all stories had been posted for at least two weeks. Same by 20 September 2015. I’m not sure what happened around that time, but it seems the narrowest I’ve been able to pinpoint a drop in commenting so far: right around the release of the Hobbit trilogy. The easiest explanation is that an increase in activity in a fanfic community does not translate into increased commenting, which could also support my explanation that more intimate communities bring about more commenting. However, I’m open to other theories in the comments.

[travelguideworldtour-blog]

13 Best Places to Go in New Zealand

New Zealand has been also an unbelievable destination. Packed with landscapes, gorgeous scenery, along with also an unparalleled blend of mountains, lakes, and lush greenery, the island state needs to be regarded as truly known.

New Zealand must be in your list when you are only thinking about trying these out or if you a adventure sport enthusiast. Bungee jumping, mountaineering, skydiving, paragliding, mountain biking, kayaking, canyoning, parachuting, caving, zip liner… Let us simply say that this list is endless as it involves exactly that which outdoor tasks you are able to get right up to in this farflung destination.

You’re able to access grips with experience sport at Queenstown, surrounded by mountain and mountain scene. Then there is the stunning Fiordland — section of this scene which madeup Peter Jackson’s picture interpretation of middleearth to get Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit (it is possible to even pay a stop by to The Shire! ) ) . Get if you should be overlooking town, go to Auckland that is bright — the greatest city in New Zealand, also to understand Maori civilization at Rotorua. Here’s a look top places to See in New Zealand:

  Matapouri

In the event you are searching for mermaids Certainly one of the greatest places to see from New Zealand! Okay, which was a lie.” However, it is possible to get a spot here should they already existed, they would hang outside. Named”The Mermaid Pools” these enormous hidden emerald rock pools are so profound you are able to right-on dip in. Tip: avoid sweep you and seeing high wave whilst the stones in a alarming rate may wreck across!

  Bay of Islands

The Bay of Islands is among the better places to visit New Zealand for other water sports, sailing, and fishing. The Bay of Islands is roughly three hours by car in Auckland. This region is composed of 144 islands between the Purerua Peninsula and Cape Brett.

Get in or on the water! Take to diving with Paihia Dive’s course. You’re going to be ferried out into the bay to research a whole new environment that is underwater.

Or get up close and personal with all the marine life at the Bay of Islands. You’ll have to view whales and dolphins out of the ship and swim with dolphins. Without visiting with the Hole in the Rock which it is possible to sail when the tide is proper do not leave the Bay of Islands.

  Auckland

Auckland is the most populated and largest city in New Zealand. It’s found on the North Island, also it’s famous because of foodie scene and its civilization. For views with the metropolis, climb the Auckland Harbor Bridge. Then make sure you have a look at the Auckland Domain Name, that’s the earliest part of the city, if you are interested in knowing more about the foundation and legacy of New Zealand. You’ll Discover displays of Maori and Pacific Island artifacts at the Auckland Museum that is legendary.

  Milford Sound

The New Zealand adventure. It must be definitely the most amazing place in the country — or even the entire planet. Get prepared to be mind-blowing off by rain forest, towering hills, countless of dolphins and water falls. The Audio might be explored by boat, plane or kayak each offering their own special perspective. You realise to the way the place will be in life, contrasts.

  Rotorua

Rotorua is popularly referred to because the thermal wonderland of New Zealand. There are geysers and hot springs in the vicinity of the town. A number of the come in reservations and parks. Eruptions of lavender, warm water and steam occur in locations. Nearby WaioTapu is a destination for a see hot springs known in addition.

  Waiheke Island

A bit more than half an hour by ship from Auckland is currently among the greatest places, Waiheke Island. For a little island at the center of Hauraki Gulf, Waiheke Island hosts lots of vineyards. You’re going to want to get another person to drive to sample as a number as possible in your own trip Waiheke Island. Our selection will be Waiheke Island Wine Tours, whose expert guides can shuttle you around to sample 14 wines.

That wine by Waiheke Island’s wineries is likely to make you hungry. A eatery with amazing views of the vineyard and the ocean If it’s time reserve your dinner or lunch at the Mudbrick Vineyard Restaurant. To get a special dinner, publication the tasting menu of the Mudbrick Vineyard Restaurant, an event with wine pairings.

  White Island

White Island is the nation’s most active volcano, making it among the most useful places to visit New Zealand for travelers. By simply choosing a helicopter ride get Upclose and personal. Your White Island tour will not be described as considered a stroll: Since that can be a volcano, so you should need to don gas mask and a hat. You are even permitted to see volcanologists.

Even though volcano is often called White Island, its entire name is Te Puia o Whakaari, also a Maori name which equals”The Dramatic Volcano.” Captain Cook in 1769 called the island White Island because whenever he drifted nearby it appeared to be covered into a cloud of steam.

There certainly are a range of tactics In the event the helicopter tour of White Island isn’t something. You may choose a boat or even find a bird’s-eye view of this. You may go Scubadiving round White Island to get check out the submerged vents of the volcano.

  Fox and Franz Josef Glaciers

Franz Josef and Fox glaciers will be the principal attractions in Westland Tai Poutini National Park that is spectacular. Both these rivers of ice leak out of a number of the greatest peaks from the Southern Alps into sea point at which the climate that is makes it effortless for individuals to research them. Guided climbs lead into ice caves and pinnacles’ landscape at the root of the glaciers. To the peak of these tongues of ice, traffic fly for a aerial perspective hockey.

  Queenstown

On the South Island of New Zealand is currently Queenstown a destination called the dream area for people in quest of experience and adrenaline. Inspired right, also by the peaks of the Southern Alps on the banks of Lake Wakatipu, Queenstown is a remarkably lovely location. Certainly one of the greatest ways is really on Lake Wakatipu it self. You could cycle across the perimeter of the lake or place off in a cruise of the waters that are glorious of the lake. There’s also a vibrant nightlife with all the small area filled with restaurants and pubs of town.

  Tongariro National Park

The national playground Tongariro, of New Zealand is well popularly famous because of extremes as well as its surprises. The diverse selection of eco systems of the park comprises plateaus, active volcanoes, herb fields woods and roads. Begin your teenager from the Taranaki Falls that is magnificent at the Whakapapa Visitor Center, only a 3 hour increase. Even the hike will take you through woods and scrubland and round the lava lineup of volcanic eruptions.

  Cathedral Cove

It will find somewhat crowded therefore it’s really worth a deadline assignment while that can be a spot hitting your New Zealand trip! Visit the exact side of this shore to discover an original waterfall the most means swim! Don’t forget again. Gemstone Bay and also stingray Bay are equally as amazing in their way, also one may get them to yourself for a swim because we do not make the effort. Gemstone Bay is great for snorkelling have a snorkel & hide!

  Taranaki

This could be the experience park. Mountains, surfing excursions, snowboarding & sunsets — Taranaki. The Pouakai Crossing can be really actually just a must-do. This day hike takes you it amazing plus onto a calm day you can view Mount Egmont!

  Roys Peak

This yield increase is well worth every single step you require, if you are keen to get a mission. Earning the attempt will probably benefit you with a few significant lactic acid buildup and epic views of Lake Wanaka, Mount Aspiring, ” the Matukituki Valley and Wanaka (given it is really a crystal very clear day!) . Be ready for weather changes here choose suitable shoes and hot windproof clothing. You are able to get rain, sun, wind, sleet and snow within only a couple minutes’ distance!

13 Best Places to Go in New Zealand

[wayneooverton]

All the mean, nasty and godawful hateful things people say to me online

Guys, why do people troll on the internet? Why are blogger hate comments a thing? Let this be the philosophical question of the day. Please, god, why? WHY? WHY?

And of all the people, why me? I’m a perfectly innocent little travel blogger over here, just minding my own business. The purpose of this blog is to inspire people to travel, what is so confronting about that? Move along. Why can people be so mean to me online? I don’t get it. I’m lovely, alright?

Just kidding. Sometimes I’m a shit stirrer. I stir the pot on purpose. If I see something I think is wrong, I say it. Also, god did not see fit to gift me with grace or tact. I am really good at regularly putting my foot in my mouth, often publicly. I also don’t know when to back away. And I’m cynical. Is this a recipe for a well-loved image? I’m not quite sure.

At least I’m real, right? Of all my flaws at least I like to think I’m authentic, the only truly honest blogger in a sea of vapid, shallow fools.

Stop talking, Liz. Like right now.

Anyways, it’s no secret, I get mean comments on the regular, so regular in fact that I have been doing annual round ups of the best mean comments I get every single year since 2012. I know I’m shamefully overdue on this post. I completely missed 2016.

2016 was an intense year for me, and when it came down to digging through comments looking for the horrible ones, I just couldn’t bring myself to go down that particular roller coaster. It was also the first year I started to get death threats. I just wasn’t in the mood. Can you forgive me?

Hate comments aren’t a novelty to me anymore, and they haven’t been for a long time. I’ve gotten tens of thousands of comments over the years, with a small percentage of them being ugly, and I’ve learned to just let them slide by in a giant wave of pity – I truly for sorry for anyone that takes the time to hate me so much online. Also, I’m probably laughing at you.

The best hate I got in 2015

The best hate I got in 2014

The best hate I got in 2013

The best hate I got in 2012

Also, I’ve really just stopped paying attention when people troll me; five years of regular trolls has given me armor. I went from being a delicate rose who bruised easily to a goddamn rhino. Go on, try and say something to mean to me. It can hardly be any worse that what I’ve gotten before.

And to be honest, it’s the same shit day in and day out. You’re privileged (yeah I know), you’re entitled (no I am not, thank you), you travel off your daddy’s money (HA, if you only knew…), you’re ugly, you’re fat, you’re stupid, you swear too much, you’re a know it all, you do this why don’t you do that, blah blah blah it never fucking ends.

Honestly, I yearn for the creative insults. I think my trolls have gotten lazy. Where’s the witty banter? The colorful backhanded comments? The passive aggressive DMs? They’ve disappeared into regular grammatically ugly “what a c*nt” and “how is this blog even popular” lazy comments. I mean for fuck’s sakes guys, if you’re gonna come for me, try a little.

But I digress. Back by popular demand, I’ve taken the time to dig through my work and find the best of the best blogger hate comments, the most entertaining, the ugliest, the cruelest, the worst hate comments I get just for you. Because at the end of the day, the only way we can deal with this BS is just to laugh. You’re welcome. Enjoy.

1. The most popular Facebook comment in response to an article about how I built my career in blogging

And if she wasn’t a young blond with a penchant for putting out to old men she’d be working at Officeworks for $15/hr

I want to start an argument about feminism here but just can’t be fucked.

2. And the second most liked comment on the same article 

The only thing worse than a human that resembles a vacuous opportunistic sponge is the plethora of parasites that aspire to be just that.

Just so we’re clear, I’m the sponge and you’re the parasite in this allegory.

3. Writing about how Jane Goodall inspires me to be better with conservation

You are not an “activist for saving the planet.” The number of flights you take each year creates more carbon emissions that most of us create in our LIVES. If you actually cared about the environment you would travel solely by bike and public transport with an occasional flight, not dozens of international flights a year. Get a grip.

I mean, fair point. I’d love some tips about biking overseas from the island of New Zealand where I live.

4. I really hate it when people don’t get sarcasm online on my how to cheat on Instagram

Teaching young people that life depends on Instagram. Thats great and people were wondering what was happening to our decaying society. Telling them that their popularity will increase if they sell their sexuality too. Wow what a true feminist you are. Pathetic. The whole millennial generation is going to be morally bankrupt.

I just facepalmed so hard.

5. Speaking of Instagram…

Not to be rude, just honest, but I noticed your photos have extremely low engagement for “168K” followers. I wonder if the companies who pay you notice this.

Guys, I’m literally one of the ONLY people who doesn’t cheat on Instagram! That’s why my engagement isn’t out of this world. But thanks for pointing that out.

6. That one time I wrote that Central Otago is one of the only regions in New Zealand that has four distinct seasons (which is true)

Seriously? The only region in New Zealand that experiences four distinct seasons? You need to travel more and drink less Pinot. I’m not even sure how I got your spam mail, but I live here, not just a FIFO tourist. If you want to trade travel stories, I’m sure you’ll lose.

You can’t make me drink less Pinot!!!! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!

7. When I wrote a million years ago about things that I hate that people do on airplanes

Sounds like a person who wrote the original article needs more than Ambien. probably could use some Xanax and some Prozac also. when you travel on a plane you know there is also something called other human beings. Get a grip. judging by your photo, You’re not that cute or anything special…..

Hope you find the help you need.

Kisses!

You know, funny story. One time in Bangkok I went to a pharmacy to get some sleeping pills for upcoming long haul flights – sometimes in Southeast Asia I can get strong sleeping pills over the counter. They gave me Xanax, no questions asked. Best flight ever. In fact, imagine if Xanax was provided on all long-haul flights. Who do I need to speak to about this?

8. Any time I provoke the vegans, one of my favorite pastimes 

Me: writes thousands of words about wildlife, travel, sustainable tourism practices or about anything really

All of the vegans: You should consider going vegan

Me: but, bacon? So tasty.

All of the vegans: PITCHFORKS AT ATTENTION!

As a close friend used to say, do not negotiate with terrorists, Liz.

9. When I wrote a blog post about how to move to New Zealand as American (if you need some entertaining, go read through the comments) which is a minefield!

It is not your home. even if you wish it was it’s not, it is new zealands home. fuck off to your own home. leave mine alone… just fuck off back to usa and leave nz to be nz. stop telling people how to get here, we don’t want you. most nzers hate americans, you are boring n have no sense of humour, just fuck off bck to usa and leave nzers to our own country, plus u don’t get my point cos u dumb american.if u don’t want to be thought of a american sterotype don’t act like dunb american cunt….you are such a dunb cunt. this is why we hate you.

I can’t look beyond the grammatical and spelling errors in this, honestly I tried, but I can’t.

Yes go ahead pls MOVE out from US we don’t need weak, pathetic, ignorant ppl here who need “safe-spaces” You have been brain washed by fake media like cnn, fox, abc etc for too long

I just can’t.

Congratulations on proving again that liberal thought is shallow and feelings-based. Too much reading making your head hurt?

I’m literally the biggest reader you’ve ever met. Don’t even.

I read the first couple of paragraphs and had to stop. As a Trump supporter, I am offended by your words and will now stop following you. It’s really too bad that you offend some of your followers, here I thought I was following a travel blog. Please do move to NZ, because America will be better off without you!!

It’s ok, I’m ashamed to have had you as a reader.

That response obviously shows why 20 something women shouldn’t even have the right to vote.

*Begins to pull hair out of own head*

Im just trying to save you from having to take depression medication for the rest of your life thats all. What are you on now Zoloft or Prozac?

Neither, unfortunately. I sure could use one after reading this.

10. I appeared in a big NBC Dateline special about American’s moving to New Zealand and man, that opened the floodgates of crazy

Stay out of America you traitor bitch.

This was the first of many comments calling me a traitor.

STAY OUT OF AMERICA YOU BITCH. HOPE A HOBBIT KILLS YOUR SORRY ASS CUNT.

LOL!!!

STAY OUT OF AMERICA YOU BITCH. I hope a sheep kills you and your family you faggot, the USA is the best country ever.

Me: I feel so sorry for you

I feel worse for you, you no good commie bastard. Stay out of my country and fuck off cunt. Fuck you you no life blogger get a real job.

Me: You feel better now?

Yes, I’m living in the US of A #MAGA fuck. Cuck.

Me: Well I feel better living in a place with people nicer than you. And I have healthcare. And I can spell.

BOOM! How’d they do? What’s the worst thing anyone has said to you online? Do you get trolled? How do you cope? Spill!

The post All the mean, nasty and godawful hateful things people say to me online appeared first on Young Adventuress.

from Young Adventuress http://ift.tt/2hA9518

[oliverphisher]

Sam Bowring

Sam Bowring is a stand-up comedian and author living in Sydney, Australia. As well as the acclaimed Broken Well Trilogy and the Strange Threads Duology, he has also written children's books, plays, and for a number of television shows.

He writes for children, with titles such as THE LITTLE BAD WOLF and SAM THE CAT.

Sam Bowring has been writing and performing stand-up comedy since he was 16 and since then has been on ABC 702 with Richard Glover, and on Triple J, including a regular spot on the breakfast show with Wil Anderson and Adam Spencer in 2004. In 2006 Sam was nominated for Best Emerging Comic at the Adelaide Fringe Festival, and for Best Newcomer at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Sam's television writing includes The Big Bite (Channel 7), Ronnie Johns Half Hour (Channel 10), The Mansion (Comedy Channel) and Rove Live (Channel 10). He has also written several plays.

What are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

My dad read me the Hobbit when I was small, which imbued me with a love of the fantastical that has lasted ever since. After that we went through an awful lot of Pratchett.

What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)?

Hmm, tricky one. I am greatly enjoying a game called Pistol Whip on my VR headset, it cost something like $30. It gets me stretching and leaping about shooting bad guys to music, getting an aerobic workout that is actually fun. I feel less tightly wound when I sit back down for countless hours at the desk. Does the increasing popularity of VR mean we going to see a generation of accidentally ultra-fit nerds?

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?

I’ll let you know when I experience the success bit.

Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?

Absolutely not. Okay fine, I have one that I made up myself, does that count? ‘As long as the books get written’. It basically means that, no matter what else is going on in life, I must always remember to write.

What is one of the best investment in a writing resource you’ve ever made?

An ergonomic chair. For a person who sits all day, this is a must!

What advice would you give to a smart, driven aspiring author? What advice should they ignore?

Don’t start each session re-reading what you already wrote. You are chipping away at a chunk of marble, it’s not going to look like David right away, so don’t dispirit yourself by examining his misshapen head the day after you begin, and thinking ‘this isn’t exactly what I wanted it to look like’. It is easier to work with an entire imperfect object than to try and carve the perfect finger first and then everything else around it. Finish your book, then spend as much time polishing as you need. You don’t have to show it to anyone until you’re ready! But if you never finish, then all you’ll wind up with is a drawer full of fingers. This metaphor is getting confusing.

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession often?

I immediately lose interest when people start recommending proscribed structures and writing rules, i.e. the Hero’s Journey, three acts, ‘Save the Cat’ and all of that. By all means understand these things, but also, meh.

In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)?

Freelance work. It’s tempting to always say yes, because ‘make hay while the sun shines’, right? But if the sun shines too bright for too long, all of sudden you’re not writing anything of your own, but instead rephrasing ‘the stakes could not be higher’ a dozen different ways for an episode for some dumb reality talent show.

What marketing tactics should authors avoid?

I heard about a guy who would go into bookstores and sneakily place glowing ‘staff review’ signs under his books. When he was found out, he got banned, although his books did not. I would not recommend this tactic.

What new realizations and/or approaches have helped you achieve your goals?

These interview questions have a very positive spin to them, and that’s not really my vibe. 

When you feel overwhelmed or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do?

I clear the decks of immediate natty tasks as quickly as possible, so there aren’t noises come at me from a dozen directions.

Any other tips?

When you start thinking of them as ‘bed rags’, it’s time to buy new pajamas.

________

Enjoyed this Q&A? Want to discuss in more depth? Join Community Writers. You'll get access to 100+ exclusive writing tips. Q&As with successful authors, an exclusive ebook on building an audience and much more. Sign-up for free as a community writer here