#hmmmmm i think i keep clowning myself bc i say that my character development is that i no longer hate myself but then i keep entering rando
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#wondering if maybe i should shout into the void more on tumblr#i feel like og textposts are easier to bury on tumblr than on twitter so like ig i feel less shy screaming here#also by virtue of the fact that talking in the tags feels less loud than composing a whole ass tweet#hmmmmm i think i keep clowning myself bc i say that my character development is that i no longer hate myself but then i keep entering rando#'haha Jokes i guess'#AHHHHHH theres something deeply satisfying in a masochistic way in following ur spiral of thoughts and pushing deeper into the things that#like scratching an itch but its twisting a knife instead#i feel Self Loathing in this chilli's tonight#LOL i just remembered that i have irls following me on here#maybe this is less void shouting#oh well i will just bury this with reblobs of Silly Memes and pretend i am the dandiest person on earth#i feel Awful#for no reason#jk i know the reason or at least i know what it was that set me off but its always stupid and insignificant so i feel embarrassed voicing w#no thoughts head empty#im tired of being perceived i just want to exist in a vacuum#actually no i dont bc getting lost in my own head is scary sometimes#i just wished i didnt have to think about the fact that I Exist to other people and they probably have thoughts about me#awful#fucking awful#personal#tumblr is cutting off some of my tags this is bullshit#oh well im Literally Too Fucking Lazy to fix it
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