#hmm sounds GAY TO ME FOLKS

[findafight]

here is the spotify link to Robin and Steve's Epic Platonic Soulmate Mixtape (vol.1) I'm going to say they made this version in the early spring of 1985. fic link

track list and explanations under the cut!!

Side A--the queer side

Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler: I'm gonna take a wild guess and say y'all know why this is here

Rainbow Connection by Kermit: also self explanatory. and a bop. AND about rainbows. what more could you want?

Bangkok/One Night in Bangkok by Murray Head (Original Chess Recording version): 1) a banger. 2) from a whole musical written by the Bs of ABBA 3) Steve likes to listen to musical while vacuuming his pool :) 4) queer vibes. "the queens we use would not excite you" "i get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine" also to note they DID probably shave off the first minute of instrumental, but not all of it. I used this version and not the radio edit because in my heart of hearts I believe Steve picked up the Chess concept album in the fall of 1984, vibed with it, (I've answered an ask about stobin and the musical chess where I talk more) and that's the version he has.

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen: tbh always sounded gay to me, and it's such a fun song, I think they'd vibe with it and agreed it's a silly little nod to steve's previous rep.

Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard by Paul Simon: GAY GAY VERY GAY SONG "it's against the law...what their mama saw/it was against the law" HMM also it's catchy and has so much potential to be an angsty queer ballad too. (also Robin's dad is 100% a Simon and Garfunkle stan that's just. a fact to me.)

I'm Coiming Out by Diana Ross: iconic song claimed by the gays. for the obvious reasons. bit on the nose but this is for THEM.

Sunshine (Go Away Today) by Jonathan Edwards: About not letting someone control your life. It's catchy and heartfelt, dreams about the future. Steve's Vecna Song for me.

You Can't Hurry Love by The Supremes: stobin are losers in the love department, and it's a great and hopeful song about not rushing into things. The Supremes Version because Robin is influenced by her former Hippie parents, and Steve by his Aunt Evelyn and her love of 50's and 60's music. They have appreciation for the Oldie Goldies.

Lady Marmalade by LaBelle: Disco baby. I also feel this was a song for us queer folk. maybe because I'm queer and I like it. it's great, and robin loves hearing women sing about having sex.

Holding Out for a Hero by Bonnie Tyler: throwback to the first song on the mixtape Steve gave Robin at the very beginning! now with the Upside Down between them it means more too. it's also SO FUN to belt in the car. frantic and with a good beat. I don't think I need to justify this one haha

Believe it or Not (theme from Greatest American Hero) by Joey Scarbury: Robin LOVES this stupid show about a cringe fail teacher with his cringe fail life getting a super suit from aliens and then losing the instruction manual. It just feels like a show she'd like even though it's so silly. The theme song is actually great tho. I think it'd really tickle the part of Robin that feels overly average and a bit trapped in Hawkins, but feels those confines lessen when she's with Steve and getting to feel like there's more out there for her. Personally, I first heard it on cassette of top 100 tv themes (along with MASH, Law and Order, Hawaii Five-oh, Andy Griffith etc) sitting in a booster seat in the front seat of my family's motor home on a long summer road trip in the early 2000's, as my dad drove and told me what show each song was from. (Steve buddy I understand your dream so much ok. There's nothing quite like being a kid and going on a roadtrip with your family. magical.)

Side B--The Besties side

You're My Best Friend by Queen: Love song for your best friend me thinks yes :)

Stuck With You by Huey Lewis and the News: the only anachronistic song on the playlist, but I couldn't NOT put it on. lavender marriage stobin REAL. They're stuck with each other :) also look at Steve. He is a guy who listens to Huey Lewis. We know this. He heard this song a year before it came out and was like robin :') it's us....I'm stuck with you...I'm so Happy about it :))

Stoned Soul Picnic by The 5th Dimension: Robin's parents are former hippies. This song is fantastic. Pure vibes. Steve and Robin are going to get rescue cats that are bonded together and name them Sassafras and Moonshine for this song.

Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles: Bop and a half. Sing along song.

Both Sides Now by Judy Collins: 1)gorgeous song originally by Joni Mitchel but this version is a bit faster 2) Robin's former Hippie parents influencing her taste strike AGAIN 3) she tries to convince Steve it's about being "queer like him" and he doesn't buy it but "I've looked at love from both sides now/.../I really don't know love at all" and "Oh, but now old friends they're acting strange/ And they shake their heads and they tell me that I've changed/ Well something's lost, but something's gained" hit different for him

Only the Good Die Young by Billy Joel: I chose this billy joel song because it's 1) catchy as all hell 2) about having sex 3) mentions dying and stobin are like We didn't die!! hell yeah! Steve's a pianist and tbh he loves billy joel. who doesn't. it was between this one and piano man i guess, tho i love many Billy Joel songs that are "deeper cuts" ha. and "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints/the sinners are much more fun" line is like. what are they gonna do. not be an emotional queer teen about it?

Raspberry Beret by Prince: it's catchy, and whilst originally I had put La La Love You By Don McLean here, I like this one better. Robin is definitely a Prince fan. and a beret fan. happy coincidink. and its a fun song! about loosing your virginity to a hot girl in a barn!

Indiana Wants Me by R. Dean Taylor: okay originally I'll admit I put this on the masterplaylist because. obviously post-s4 Eddie running away angst song even if it's more folk-rock than metal. I think Steve and Robin would listen to it and really vibe with wanting to go home but not being able to. even if it's not literally. also they live in Indiana and like. you've gotta respect a song about where you live. ALSO the cop sounds in it. so good.

Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen: a song? about being disillusioned with the American dream after seeing the institutional failures of the government??? very Steve. the whole album is great, and I know I've reblogged a post about Steve and the album (My Hometown hits different). It's angry, frustrated, passionate. Being queer in a small town where the government covers up it's human experimentation and alternate dimensions probably makes you feel a lot of things. All with the veneer of Americana.

Where Do You Go To (My Lovely) by Peter Starstedt: purely self indulgent of me. I adore this song. I think Steve heard it, and thought of Robin. The remembering, the deep knowledge of another person, the longing. When he told Robin that it's a song he always associates with her she tears up a bit, because it's so tender and loving, and a bit silly. Like. Steve knows she'll be amazing and can't comprehend anyone not seeing it. It's sooo tender.

Thank You for Being a Friend by Andrew Gold: Golden Girls didn't air their first episode until fall 1985, and obviously when it does Stobin are loyal viewers, (Steve is in love with Bea Arthur. as is right) but this song came out in the 70's. It's fun and cute and catchy! They love each other and are so, incomprehensibly grateful that they found each other.

[natonia]

I was just thinking about 9x06 recently and OK! It's Nerdy Name Etymology Hour! My time has come!

One of the SPN hills that I'll die on is that side-character names often don't get as much attention as they should on this show, because they're often a huge clue about a character's true nature and meaning. That in turn informs us about how we're meant to read the intended narrative. Many writers keep databases of symbolism like name meanings, so don't think for a second that they're just pulled out of a writer's ass for kicks and giggles.

Using 9x06 above as an example, strap in kids and kittens because here we go! In Latin, Nora is derived from 'honoria', meaning honour. In Arabic, it comes from the word 'noor', meaning light, and in Greek Nora is the diminutive form of Eleanor, also meaning light. As a character then, Nora can be associated with honour and light (enlightened).

She's therefore a truthful 'real' character, who sees a person's genuine self and worth. Don't forget that she has no issues giving Cas a keyholder job straight off the bat with a significant amount of trust involved, even though she knows nothing about him. She also says that Cas is different and special and that 'she knows these things'. This is right after the scene where two het-coded macho guys are discussing whose team some sports guy is playing for, and conclude that it's not theirs. HMM. WHAT COULD IT MEAN.

Another thing about Nora/Honoria is that in Latin it has a feminine root, and in all of the subsequent Romance languages based upon Latin (French, Spanish, Italian etc) it's also a feminine word. Is it an accident that this enlightened and honourable female character appears to immediately and intuitively register that Cas himself is an honourable guy on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, which itself is often feminine coded in our society?

(I could go on here for a while about how homophobia and misogyny are intrinsically linked and how patriarchy is the real villain of SPN, but I'll leave that entire doorstop wedge of a dissertation for another time. ALSO, if you have a million years spare at some point, ask me for my thoughts about how Cas and Mary were frequently paralleled and how Cas leaving/dying so often has nothing whatsoever to do with Dean's separation issues caused by the trauma of Mary's original death, NOPE.)

Long story short, Nora sees people for who they really are, and we can take her interactions with Cas at full face value from her perspective. So yes, I absolutely do think that we were meant to think that SHE thinks that Cas was pulling the shreds of his life back together after an epic boyfriend breakup. And hey, she's not really wrong.

Note how Nora only asks Cas to babysit directly after finding his toothpaste and sleeping bag in the back of the Gas'n'Sip, and clearly isn't taken in at all by his excuse about sleeping there to finish the inventory. I'm inclined to believe that she puts 2+2 together and thinks that Cas has been kicked out of home after the aforementioned breakup and has no family support to fall back on, which is a depressingly common issue for homeless LGBTQ+ folk. It's possible that the babysitting offer was a way of giving him somewhere warm and comfortable to go that night without trampling on the shreds of his dignity and having him think that it was a pity offer. Only she didn't realise that it sounded like a date to him, because she just assumed that they were on the same gay wavelength.

And then, shortly after that scene, Dean swaggers in acting for all the world like the charming-yet-combative ex that Cas wasn't expecting to see and of COURSE Nora adds her 2+2 and makes 5.

As a side-note to Dean's surprise appearance, please compare it to the very next episode, 9x07 Bad Boys. There, Dean turns up at his sort-of first girlfriend's customer-service-focused restaurant job and springs the exact same awkward fake-swagger 'Hey! Remember me? The guy that you no doubt never got over?' routine on Robin who, like Cas, clearly also has very conflicting feelings about Dean Winchester suddenly showing back up in her life when she least expected it.

While the name Robin means 'bright, shining or famous,' I'm inclined to think here that we might be looking more at the ornithological meaning of the name. Were we meant to associate Robin -> Birds -> Wings -> Angels -> Cas? I suspect so, as there are many other cases throughout the series of birds being used to symbolise angels. In any case, even though I seem to remember that there was a change to the S9 episode airing order around this point, I don't think that it's an accident that these two episodes happened close together.

Going back to 9x06 names, it's worth pointing out the name of Nora's baby girl. Tanya has a disputed language root but, like Nora, in some circles is also thought to mean Honour. It can also mean 'student' via the Latin name Tatius, which was mostly lost from Western European languages, but cycled into Orthodox Russian usage as the feminine name Tatiana through the eastern Roman empire. Saint Tatiana is the Russian patron saint of students, and in Russia students are celebrated on Tatiana Day on 25th January.

Where am I going with this? Well, assuming that Nora represents true honour and enlightenment then Tanya is the student of the same. Nora says that Tanya doesn't cry (when Nora's there, anyway), and I think this is because Nora has mastered and embodied the character traits that both she and Tanya represent. She tells Cas that he's special for how much he cares, even when Cas still hates himself for his misguided attempts to protect humanity during S6 & S7, and thinks that the Winchesters have rejected him as being useless without his powers.

Tanya, however, starts crying and getting ill as soon as she's alone with Cas, because Cas himself is the beginner 'baby' student of human enlightenment. He starts developing his own sense of honour and dignity in this episode. Unlike Nora though, he doesn't think at this stage that caring on its own has any worthwhile intrinsic value to anyone if he has no ability to use it as a weapon. The human arc of S9 is a huge turning point in Cas starting to understand both his own emotions and the value of compassion & empathy as a catalyst for change rather than physical violence. But he's only near the start of the learning process at this point, hence the baby is miserable and upset.

So, compare Cas in 9x06 with how much more comfortable he is around the concept of babies when he's preparing for Jack to be born at the end of S12. By that point, Cas is completely aware and accepting of the fact that he's in love with Dean, he's just scared and depressed about the likely consequences of telling him. (This is NOT TO SAY though that Dean doesn't reciprocate, but I think that Cas is right on this point; I think that Dean was on his own separate journey of self-discovery and wasn't actually ready to hear it until 15x18 for many, many reasons).

We can also turn around and understand that babysitter conversation from Cas' point of view, because can we blame him for misunderstanding Nora's meaning? For starters, his low self-esteem at that point causes him to disagree with Nora when she says that he's special. When she disagrees with his disagreement, he starts interpreting her female affirmation as sexual interest because that's all that he's ever learned from the Winchesters. From Dean in particular, who has serious toxic masculinity problems with the way that he thinks about women (as does the show in general), right up until Charlie's introduction in S7. After that, with Charlie firmly in the 'off limits' non-sexual category, Dean starts re-framing how he thinks about both women and LGBTQ+ people in general, which morphs into his stronger non-sexual relationships with women like Jody and Donna and the Waywards and even Rowena in the back half of the show.

But remember that Cas wasn't around to see most of that in S7/S8, being dead and married and amnesiac and crazy and stuck in purgatory and whathaveyou. So while Cas firmly stated during the Godstiel arc that gender doesn't matter to him, in 9x06 he's trying to interpret a human woman's positive reaction to him in the same way that he thinks a human male should - notably, early seasons Dean.

So of course he's going to develop a crush on Nora, this compassionate human who's offered him shelter and an admittedly menial chance at dignity while he's trying to find his equilibrium as a human. Of COURSE he's going to fall for the woman whose name literally means honour, because she represents everything that he was hoping for from Dean at the end of 9x03 and didn't get.

Anyway, there's your cursed dose of language porn and pain for the day! Enjoy it spn fam, you're welcome!

I am once again thinking about 9.06 Heaven Can’t Wait. I am once again thinking about how you absolutely do not ask your employee to babysit for you by saying “I don’t want to take advantage of you as my employee, and I certainly don’t want to jeopardize our working relationship. But as a working single mom, it’s hard enough to get a date, let alone meet a really great guy. And tomorrow’s my night off, and I know you’re off, too, and I was just wondering if there’s any chance you’re free tomorrow night?” without clarifying that you’re not asking them out unless you’re ABSOLUTELY SURE they won’t interpret it that way. I am once again thinking about how Nora absolutely thought that Cas was gay. And he greeted Dean like a “jilted lover”. So she absolutely thought Dean was Cas’ ex (and she was correct). And, once again, this is a Bobo episode so we know all this is true and intentional

[ewwgene-fitzherbert]

the w1tch3r struggle c0nt1nues

[sineala]

How would you say fandom culture has changed over the years? What are some differences you notice between older and younger fandom folks?

I’ve been thinking for a while about how to answer this, and I’m not sure I have a really good answer, but I’m going to try.

I’ve been in fandom since approximately 1995. Maybe 1994. At that point, the world wide web was a relatively new part of the internet, and the fandoms I was in had most of their activity on privately-hosted mailing lists (predating eGroups/OneList/Yahoo Groups) and on Usenet newsgroups, with fiction beginning to be available on websites as part of either fandom-specific or pairing-specific archives as well as authors’ individual pages. Fanfiction.net did not yet exist. LiveJournal did not exist. AO3 definitely did not exist. If you wanted real-time chat, there was IRC. I was coming in basically at the tail end of zine fandom; zines were no longer the only way of distributing fanfiction, as fandom started to move online. So I have a selection of zines from 90s-era Western media fandoms but even by then zines weren’t where I was doing most of my reading.

I think in terms of generally “what it was like to be in fandom,” the big-picture stuff hasn’t changed. Fandom still produces creative fanwork and likes to, y’know, get together and talk about fandom. Also, almost every fight or complaint that fandom has about something is a thing that has been going on for actual years. People complain that, say, the kudos button is ruining comment culture because back in the LJ days the only way you could comment on a story was, well, by leaving an actual comment, or sending an email on a mailing list, and this might mean that people who would have otherwise commented have left a kudos instead. But back in the LJ and mailing list days, people were complaining that commenting was going downhill since the days of zines, when in order to comment on a story you had to write a real paper letter and mail it and because you had to do that, the quality of feedback was so much better than you got nowadays because people could just dash off a quick email or comment. You get the idea. Top/bottom wars are not new either. Pairing wars are not new. If you’ve been in fandom a while, you will pretty much have seen all the fights already. I think one thing that is new, though, is the fandom awareness of things like privilege and intersectionality and various -isms, as well as things like “providing warnings might be nice” (do you know how much unwarned deathfic I have read? a lot!) and I sure won’t say we’re perfect at any of this now, but I think fandom is trying way way more about all that stuff than it used to.

There are some fights we actually don’t have anymore, as far as I can tell. I feel like it’s been years since I’ve seen the “real person fiction is wrong” battle, but also I don’t hang out in a whole lot of RPF fandoms, so it’s possible that’s still going and I just don’t see it.

There also used to be a recurring debate about whether gay relationships that were canonical were slash or not. When slash started, obviously this wasn’t a question because there weren’t canonical gay relationships in fandoms, period. But as gay characters began to appear in media, people started to wonder “does slash mean all same-sex relationships, or does slash mean only non-canonical same-sex relationships?” Now, you may be reading this and think that sounds like an incredibly weird thing to get hung up on, but that’s because what appears to have happened is that the term “ship” (originally from X-Files Mulder/Scully fandom) has, as far as I can tell, come up and eaten most of the rest of the terminology. Now people will just say, “oh, I ship that.” For any pairing, gay or not, canonical or not. Fandom seems to have decided that for the most part it no longer actually needs a term specific to same-sex relationships as a genre.

Similarly, there are a few genres of fic that we used to have also pretty much don’t exist anymore. There are also plenty of genres that are well-entrenched now that are also extremely recent -- A/B/O comes to mind. But there are some kinds of fic we don’t write a lot of now. Like, I haven’t seen smarm in years! I also haven’t seen We’re Not Gay We Just Love Each Other in a while. There was also a particular style of slash writing where you’d basically have to explain, in detail, what made you think that these particular characters could be anything other than straight. You’d have to motivate this decision. You’d have to look at their canonical heterosexual relationships and come up with a way to explain why all those had happened in order to reconcile how this one guy could have romantic feelings for another guy. When had he figured out he wasn’t straight? Who might he have been with before? How does he interact with people in ways that make you think he’s not straight? That kind of thing. You had to, essentially, show your work. And these days a lot of fanfic is just like, “Okay, Captain America is bisexual, let’s go!” It’s... different.

Fandom also used to skew older, is my sense. A lot older. I don’t know, actually, if it really was older, but I get the sense now that there are some younger people who are surprised that adults are still in fandom. I have seen people saying these days that they think they’re too old for fanfiction because they are not in middle school anymore. And I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that the barriers to access fandom are a lot lower than they used to be. You used to basically have to be an adult with disposable income (or know an adult with disposable income who was willing to help you out; but even then if you were reading explicit fiction you also had to swear you were 18+, usually by sending in an age statement to whoever you were buying the zine from or to the mods of the list you wanted to join, so a lot of fandom was very much age-gated). Internet access was not widely available. Even if you had internet access, you maybe didn’t have your own email address, so you couldn’t sign up for mailing lists; free email providers didn’t exist. If you wanted to buy zines, you had to have money to buy them. If you wanted to go to cons, you had to be able to afford the cost of the con, travel to the con, et cetera. If you wanted to have a website you had to know HTML. Social media did not exist. You want to draw art? Guess what, you’re probably drawing it on paper! You might be able to upload a picture to your website if you have a digital camera or a scanner, but both of those things are expensive, and also a lot of people don’t have the capability or the money to download pictures from the internet (some people have data caps with overage charges, and some people have text-only connections!), so they won’t get to see it. Maybe you can sell your piece at a con! You want to make a fanvid? We called them songvids, but, anyway, you know how you’re doing that? You’re going to hook two VCRs together and smash the play and record buttons very fast! If you want anyone else to watch them, you are either making them a tape personally and mailing it to them or bringing your vids to a convention. Maybe you can digitize them and upload them, but it’s going to take people hours to download them!

(Every three hours my ISP would kick me off the internet and I’d have to dial in again. If it was a busy time of day, it might take me 20 or 30 minutes to get a connection again. And that was assuming no one else in the house needed to use the phone line. Imagine if your modem went out every three hours now.)

And now, for the cost of my internet connection, I can read pretty much whatever fanfiction I want, whenever I want it. I can see all the fanart I want! I can watch vids! Podfic exists now! Fanmixes exist! Gifsets and moodboards exist! If I want to write fic I can write it with programs that are completely free, and as soon as I post it everyone in the entire world can read it. If I want to draw or make vids that may require some additional investment, but I may also be able to do it with things I already have. Do you have any idea how good we all have it?

There are a couple of kinds of fan activity that don’t seem to exist anymore, though, and I miss them. I know that roleplaying still goes on, but I feel like these days most people who do real-time text roleplay have switched to things like Discord. I know that in the LJ days, RP communities were popular. But I really miss MU*s (MUDs, MUSHes, MOOs, MUXes..), which were servers for real-time text-based RP with a bunch of... hmm... features to aid RP. There were virtual rooms with text descriptions, and objects in virtual rooms with descriptions, and your character had a description, and they could interact with the objects as well as with other characters, and you could program things to change descriptions or emit various kinds of text or take you to different rooms, and so on. Just to, y’know, enhance the atmosphere. It was fun and it was where I learned to RP and I’m sad they’re pretty much gone now.

I also don’t think I see a lot of fanfiction awards in fandoms. Wonder where they went.

Going back to the previous point, the barriers to actually consuming the canon you are fannish about are way, way, way lower now. You can pretty much take it for granted that if right now someone tells you about a shiny new fandom, there will be a way to read that book or watch that show or movie right now. Possibly for free! Of course you can watch it! Why wouldn’t you be able to?

This was absolutely, absolutely not the case before. I’m currently in Marvel Comics fandom. If there is a comic I want to read, I can read it right now on the internet. I have subscribed to Marvel Unlimited and I can read pretty much every comic that is older than three months old; the newer ones cost extra money. But I can do it all from the comfort of my own home right now. I was also, actually, in Marvel Comics fandom in the nineties. If I wanted to read a comic, I had to go to a comic book store and hope they had it in stock; if they didn’t, I had to try another store. Not a lot of comics were available in trade paperback and they definitely weren’t readable on the internet. I used to read a lot of Gambit h/c fic set after Uncanny X-Men #350. I never found a copy of UXM #350. I still haven’t! But I did eventually read it on Unlimited.

Being in TV show fandoms also had similar challenges. Was the show you were watching still on the air? No? Then you’d better hope you could find it in reruns, or know someone who had tapes of it that they could copy for you, otherwise you weren’t watching that show. It was, I think, pretty common for people to be in fandoms for shows they hadn’t seen, because they had no way to see the show, but they loved all the fanfic. The Sentinel had a whole lot of fans like that, both because I think it took a while for it to end up in reruns and because overseas distribution was probably poor. So you’d get people who read the fic and wrote fic based on the other fic they’d read, which meant that you got massive, massive amounts of fanon appearing that people just assumed was in the show because it was a weirdly specific detail that appeared in someone’s fic once. Like “Jim and Blair’s apartment has a small water heater” (not actually canonical) or “Blair is a vegetarian” (there’s an episode where his mother visits and IIRC cooks him one of his favorite meals, which is beef tongue).

Like, I was in The Professionals fandom for years. I read all the fic. I hadn’t seen the show. As far as I know, it never aired in the US, and it certainly never had any kind of US VHS or DVD release. I’d seen a couple songvids. I eventually saw a couple episodes in maybe 2003, and that was because my dad special-ordered a commercial VHS tape from the UK and paid someone to convert it from PAL to NTSC. I didn’t get to see the whole show until several years later when I got a region-free DVD player someone in fandom sent me burned copies of the UK DVD releases and then I special-ordered the commercial release of the DVDs from the UK myself. But if I were a new fan and wanted to watch Pros right now? It is on YouTube! For free!

I think also one of the things about fandom that’s not immediately evident to new fans is the way in which it is permanent and/or impermanent. There are probably people whose first fannish experience is on Tumblr or who only read fanfic on FFN and who have no idea what they would do if either site, say, just shut down. But if you’ve been in fandom a while, you’ve been through, say, Discord, Tumblr, Twitter, Pillowfort, Imzy, DW, JournalFen, LJ, GeoCities, IRC, mailing lists. And sure, if Tumblr closed, it would be inconvenient. But fandom would pack up and move somewhere else. You would find it again. It would, eventually, be okay. Similarly, if you’ve been in a lot of fandoms, if you’ve made a lot of friends, drifting through fandoms is like that. You’ll make a friend in 1998 because you were in the same fandom, and then you might go your own ways, and ten years later you might be in another fandom with them again! It happens.

But the flip side of that is that I think a lot of older fans have learned not to trust in the permanence of any particular site. If you like a story, you save it as soon as you read it. If you like a piece of art, you save it. If you like a vid, you save it. Because you don’t know when the site it’s on will be gone for good. I have, like, twenty years of lovingly-curated fanfic. And I feel like people who have only been in fandom since AO3 existed might not understand how much AO3 is a game-changer compared to what we had before. It’s a site where you can put your fic up and you don’t have to worry that the webhost is going out of business, or that the site might delete your work because they don’t allow gay fiction or explicit fiction or fiction written in second person or fiction for fandoms where the creator doesn’t like fanfiction, or whatever. Because all of those things have absolutely happened. But, I mean, I still save pretty much everything I like, even on AO3, just in case.

So, basically, yeah, fandom is a whole lot more accessible than it used to be. I think fandom is pretty much still fandom, but it’s a lot easier to get into, and that has made it way more open to people who wouldn’t have been able to be in fandom before. There is so, so much more now than there ever was before, and I think that’s great.

[cellard0ors]

Fic: Movement (2/?)

Still dedicated to the wonderful @peachworthy. you read part one than you know - GMM Rhink AU - College Student Link/Pornstar Rhett AU

“Got it right again, man! You’re going to ace this test!” Rhett crows as he tosses down another notecard and Link pumps his arms in triumph. The two of them are settled in the kitchen, piles of books and notecards spread around as well as few bottles of beers and some bowls of chips.

Link picks up one chip and pops it into his mouth, grinning at his roommate fondly, “Well, couldn’t’ve done it without you, pal. You are, without a doubt, the best study buddy I’ve ever had.”

“Aw shucks, gonna make me blush,” Rhett laughs even though it’s Link who feels his cheeks actually grow warm, his friend’s laughter a common cause of the occurrence.

They’ve been living together for over a month now and it’s been beyond amazing. Link would’ve never guessed a guy like Rhett and a guy like him would work so well together.

It’s like they’re the world’s weirdest, most convoluted puzzle yet all the pieces click together to form a full picture that is nothing short of a masterpiece. True, there’s a lot about Rhett Link doesn’t know yet (and gosh is there a lot he wants to know) but their friendship is running smoothly.

Well, smoothly save for the massive crush Link has on the guy, albeit he’s doing his damned best to squash it. Yes, Rhett’s attractive and yes, he’s the first guy Link’s ever met that he’s felt a real zing for, but the fact of the matter is – Link would much rather have him as a friend and roommate than lose him as a…well, Link’s not sure if he’d lose him, but the mere possibility keeps Link’s lips sealed.

Besides, it’s okay to crush on someone and never act on it. People do it all the time. Not to mention that it’s a bit…odd to crush on someone in Rhett’s line of work. Isn’t it?

Link can’t think of too many people who will admit to crushing on an adult film star. Regular, mainstream film stars, sure – but adult film stars?

Yeah…

Although, to be frank, Link’s sure there are some that do. And, hopefully, some of them are not the creepy internet troll-y kind of people, but genuine salt of the earth folks like himself. Because, okay, he is crushing on one so…

Rhett is toying with the cards, maybe looking for the next question to quiz Link on when he asks idly, “Y’know, Link – I gotta say, I admire your stamina.”

That remarks makes Link choke on the drink he’s just been consuming, a cough clearing it up some as he croaks, “I’m-I’m sorry?”

Rhett hums noncommittally, as if not noticing the gaffe, “You’ve had yet to grill me about my job. Normally, once folks hear about it, that’s all they want to talk about.”

“Oh,” Link breathes out loosely, “Well, ah-? It-? It just…seemed rude to-to ask…”

“Been over a month living with me now. You telling me you ain’t interested?”

“I didn’t say that!” Link quips back much quicker than he would like, but Rhett just gives him the most perfect smile. All sincere and warm beneath his beard and remember, Link, you’re doing you’re best not to crush on him!

Rhett is still toying with the cards, eyelashes downcast, the very visual definition of shy as he murmurs, “Just sayin’…I don’t mind if you wanna ask some stuff.”

Link’s eyebrows rise in such a way as to damn near bump his glasses off, “Y-You sure?”

Rhett draws in a deep inhale and then sits the cards down. He crosses his arms and leans back in his seat, looking quite serious even despite the casual red flannel and jeans, as if this was more of an interview (or perhaps an interrogation?) than anything else, “Shoot.”

The a million and one questions that Link has kept at bay about Rhett’s job and more personal life threaten to cave his skull in as they crash about in his mind. However, he has to go with the obvious, “Know this’ll be predictable, but…why?”

Rhett just bobs his head in an understanding nod even as Link pushes on, “Why and how?”

Rhett sucks on his teeth before picking up his own beer and taking a fortifying sip before continuing, “The two are kinda interconnected to be honest. Had a fallin’ out with my family. Think I mentioned it in passin’ to you once. But, to clarify; they weren’t too happy with my chosen living destination nor with the fact that I’d come to terms with the notion that I’m attracted to both the ladies and the gents.”

Link’s mind immediately (and joyously) clings to ‘the gents’ remark, bookmarking it for future reference, even as Rhett continues his tale, “You grew up where we did. So you get it.”

Link does. And then, to nail the point home, Rhett adds, “Probably get it a lot more than others. If my…instincts are to be believed.”

Shit.

SHIT.

Link’s whole body immediately bursts into flame, the tips of his ears so hot he’s sure they’re glowing bright red.

Rhett knows I’m gay. He knows. I thought having a radar for that kind of thing was bullhonkey, but he knows and oh, lord, oh lord – do I give off some sorta vibe? I know that girl in my screenwriting class, Stevie, she teased me about being an A-Level twink or something, but I didn’t think-!

Rhett’s laughter carves right through Link’s insecurities, “Take a breath, brother! Look like you’re about to pop!”

Link does and Rhett just shakes his head, still grinning, “Point being – I was pretty much a babe in the woods when I came to LA. Not two nickels to my name, so I took whatever gigs I could get. Managed to snag a few commercials and things of that nature, but you know the drill. Jobs are hard to come by. And a guy of my height?”

He blows out a big breath and tosses all of those luxurious curls about with a rueful head shake, “Yeah, most people fingered me for a baller, so – again – jobs were hard to come by. But then, wouldn’t you know it? A friend of a friend of a contact told me about this part they thought I’d be perfect for.”

Another deep barrel chested chuckle emerges as he reminiscences, “Mighta been nice of ‘em to let me know it was actually a part of me they thought would be perfect.”

Do not zero in on his crotch! Do NOT zero in on his crotch! Charles Lincoln Neal the Third DO NOT-!

Link keeps his eyes so steadfastly forward he probably looks like some bug eyed zombie. If Rhett notices, he doesn't comment, “Anyway, when I found out what the role was, I had planned to politely decline but, y’know, the money they offered…”

There’s an easy shrug and this Link can look at. He looks at Rhett, who looks a bit sheepish as he scratches at one side of his beard, “I mean, again, you grew up where I did. So, you know how the whole ‘wait until marriage’ thing was drilled into your head, but I figured it wasn’t like anybody would know. My family’d cut me off, my friends were few and far in between, and the people on set…”

Now he looks a bit happier and Link can’t help but smile along with him, “The people on set were all right. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the kind of stories people tend to spin – the exploitation, the drug abuse, other questionable stuff…place I was at wasn’t like that. I mean, maybe I just lucked out or something, but it was…”

Another shrug and he goes for his beer again. Link figures this is as good a time as any to get in another question, “So, you did that and then you…? Just kept going?”

Rhett nods as he drinks, the bottle leaving his mouth with an obscene pop that Link is going to do his best to forget all about right now and certainly not recall at any point in the future (and most certainly NOT when he’s jacking off later), “Yeah, I did the one and the director really liked me. He pull me aside and told me about this company he was trying to set up with a couple of buddies of his. They wanted to go in a classier direction – know how funny that sounds, but he was serious.”

“So, what? No, like, blockbuster porno knock offs? Like ‘Sex in The City and ON the City’ or ‘Arma-get-it-on’?”

“Think you stole that last one from an episode of CSI.”

“I did, doesn’t change the question.”

They’re both smiling like a couple of fools, but the mood is good and the atmosphere light as Rhett sighs, “Yeah, nothing like that. I’ve actually worked with a few female directors, shot some things with great budgets, nice lighting, good costumes…”

“Oooo, costumes,” Link teases in the silliest voice and Rhett swats out at him. Link avoids the hit even as Rhett rolls his eyes, “I’m serious, dude. Some of the things that department pumps out looks better than anything you’d see in Hollywood.”

“Hmm, some kinda wood,” Link snickers and this time Rhett’s swat makes impact, brushing Link’s shoulder and Link would be embarrassed by the giggle he lets out, if it weren’t for the way Rhett’s nose is all scrunched up, making him look beyond adorable, “You’re sucha brat!”

Link sticks out his tongue and Rhett just laughs. They turn their attention to the drinks and chips for awhile before Link circles around to another question, “You like it then?”

“It’s a living,” Rhett confirms, not really answering one way or another, “Like I said – make great money, work with some really nice people.”

“Uh,” Link scratches behind one ear, “Hate to ask, but, um…clean people?”

Rhett doesn’t seem offended, “You bet. Have to be. Another reason I’ve done this as long as I have. Money's great, but the safety is even better. I’m currently under contract with that same company I told you about – the one that director brought me under. On top of wanting to,” he air quotes his next words, “be classier’-”

He drops the quotes, “They wanted to provide an excellent work environment. Heck, me and the other actors and actresses probably have a cleaner bill of health than the entire state. Can’t shoot scene one until you’ve got the A-Okay.”

“Huh,” Link absorbs that with some surprise, but then, he supposes it really shouldn’t be. The adult film industry is a big lumbering beast right alongside it’s more recognized counterpart. No reason one shouldn’t be as cautious as the other. If anything, one has more right to be cautious.

Thinking on this, Link suddenly feels an odd pang. It’s a shame in one way that’s one viewed as more reckless than the other, more questionable. But, when viewed through a mostly puritan lens…

Not wanting to get too philosophical, Link switches gears, “You been in a lot of films?”

“My fair share.”

Another dodge, but Link will let him have it. However, he can practically feel devil horns rise as he asks with a naughty gleam to his eye, “Win any awards?”

Rhett’s practically preening, “Several.”

“Really?” Link asks with some surprise, but Rhett suddenly looks quite naughty himself. Naughty and…a bit too hot for Link’s liking as the heat that always seems to surround him when he’s near Rhett rises and woo boy, he’s really failing at this squashing-the-crush thing.

“If you’re a good boy, maybe I’ll show you one of my trophies some time…”

Everything in Link melts into a puddle and he’s not sure what expression he’s wearing, but it’s one that makes Rhett’s whole face light up, “…or maybe, just maybe, I’ll show you a little somethin’ else…”

If it’s possible for a melted puddle to also explode, then Link’s just done it. Rhett bursts into guffaws as he reaches forward and, very smoothly, pushes Link’s jaw up because Link’s jaw? It dropped. He didn’t even feel it drop.

And then, to just add more fuel to the fire, Rhett rubs the pad of his thumb along the bottom of Link’s chin, right below his lip, “Damn, son…you’re just too much for words.”

“I…”

That’s it.

That’s all that Link can offer.

Just one sound, one vowel.

Silent and stunned and Rhett draws back, looking like the cat that ate the canary as he lets him go and rises up from his seat, “Think you need a moment. I’ll be back in a bit.”

And – just like that – Rhett saunters out of the room.

[shintorikhazumi]

"It's called an existential cry, sis."

A/N: More discord shots. Medieval/Aristocrat stuff AU where Akko was an orphan adopted by Hannah's fam when both were 4, but has always been hidden from the public until one day she wanted to go to Luna Nova. And Han, who doesn't necessarily hate Akko; she was just not allowed to interact with her much once they got to their teens. And now has to look out for her sis.

Yep. Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

T'was another pleasant day in the prestigious Luna Nova Ladies' Academy. The birds chirped their elegant songs into the flowing spring air, leaves dancing along. The clouds lazily traversed the sky, no destination in mind. Yes, here stood the institution that served as the training ground for all young women to prepare them for society, for the world, and most importantly, for marriage-

"This isn't going to work out for me." Hannah sighed, face dropping into her textbook as she accompanied her sister in the library for study period.

"Hmm?" Akko looked up from her own copy of the material, giving her sister her attention. "What won't work?"

"Akko. I'm gay."

"...yyeuuupp." Akko said, emphasizing the pop on the p. "I know. We both are. You and Barbara aren't the quietest in the shower sometimes. Hmm... Though I'm bi, so does that make you a little more gay than me?" She wondered aloud. "Why do I feel like I've lost? But anyway. We established this pretty long ago."

"Akko. Ignoring the other things you just said, you do know what that means, right? In a society like ours, so hooked on the concept of political marriage. We're going to be married off, y'know?  Maybe even to some rich bastard who doesn't know what to do with all his money."

"Heehhh..." Akko couldn't have sounded more disinterested. "I mean, if I had to be forced to marry some dude, I guess I'd settle for Andrew. We get along pretty well." The girl referred to her best friend who she often attended parties with.

"That's not the point-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

"Akko?!"

"SILENCE IN THE LIBRARY!!!"

"S-sorry!" The girl called, shrinking back into her seat, face almost entirely hidden by her book, but eyes locked onto *something*.

"Akko! What the fuck was that?!" Hannah whispered in harsh tones. "All of a sudden!"

Akko opened her mouth, about to reply normally, but then her eyes took on that playful glint that Hannah knew was about to be associated with something utterly stupid.

"It's called an existential cry, sis."

"Akko." Hannah groaned. "And what 'existential crisis' are you going through exactly? And so suddenly?" She decided to humor her sister anyway.

"I'm gay."

"..." Hannah slapped a palm to her face. "I know. We've established this, as you've said. Right?"

"Nooo, no! Like... gay, gay. Super gay. I don't think I'm bi anymore, Han."

"Oh?" Hannah leaned back into her chair, brow cocked in interest. "And I assume you just saw someone that made you feel this way?"

"Ah, quick-witted as ever, my dear Watson."

"And? Who's the lucky girl?"

Hannah followed Akko's finger pointing to one specific direction. Narrowing her eyes to better focus them, eyes scanning over the sea of heads of studying folk and landing on...

Oh look! Her best friend Diana was back from her home visit! She should go over and talk to her, and maybe not introduce her to her sister... huh?... who just so happened to be... pointing... at... her...

"She's so hot, holy crap! And so so so gorgeous too! Ne, Hannah, what's her name? Who is she? Why have I never seen her before-"

"Bloody, Fucking hell."

[monotonous-minutia]

Benvenuto Cellini in 300 lines or fewer

for the lovely and incredibly patient @notyouraveragejulie, as requested! Happy Cellini-versary! took me long enough, but decided to get it done today to honor the occasion :)

Act I Scene I

Balducci’s house

Balducci: Teresa what are you doing looking out the window I told you never to look out the window. Besides I need you to listen to my rant. Can you BELIEVE what the Pope has just told me? He’s hired that delinquent Cellini to make his new statue instead of Fieramosca. I just can’t wrap my head around it.

Teresa: Maybe you could if it wasn’t so big.

Balducci: What?

Teresa: Nothing.

(Balducci exits)

Teresa: Ugh FINALLY I hate listening to his rants. )goes back to look out the window)

Masqueraders outside: LALALALA IT’S CARNIVAL THE BEST TIME OF THE YEAR

(Balducci comes back and sees Teresa at the window)

Balducci: TERESA WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT STAYING AWAY FROM THE WINDOW what is even going on down there? I bet it’s that Cellini whipping everyone into a frenzy. Ugh, Carnival. (exits again)

Teresa: (goes to the window and is immediately showered with flowers) I don’t care what my dad says, hanging out by the window is fun. I love flowers. Oh hey, a note from Cellini! What? He’s coming here? Oh, that’ll be risky. But hey, dad’s out of the house, what could go wrong? Y’know, it’s kinda hard, dealing with all this—feeling like I have to listen to my dad, but wanting to indulge in the affections of my beloved. When I’m older, old like my parents, maybe I’ll be responsible, but right now I’m young, and I deserve to have some fun! Girls just wanna have fun!

Cellini: (appearing at the window) TERESA MY BELOVED

Teresa: Cellini, I love you, but it’s too dangerous for you to be here. What if my dad catches us?

Cellini: But look, it’s carnival, and it’s so gay! And I mean that like happy, but y’know, it’s pretty gay too. Besides, I love you. Why do you turn me away?

Teresa: Well, I just got done singing this empowering feminist aria, but unfortunately reality hits and I remember that it’s 1532 and I basically have no rights, so it’s best for you to forget me and move on.

Fieramosca: (sneaking in carrying a huge bouquet) The best way to a woman’s heart is with a cool sneak-in plan and a bunch of flowers. Hang on, is that Cellini talking to my Teresa?

Cellini: How am I supposed to just leave you behind? Let you be forced into the arms of that Fieramosca?

Teresa: I’d rather die than marry Fieramosca!

Fieramosca: …I just came here to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Cellini: Okay, so, how about this: Come to the new opera Cassandro is presenting tomorrow night. While your dad is distracted, my apprentice and I will sneak over disguised as friars and spirit you away! We’ll go to Florence and live happily ever after! Nothing could possibly go wrong!

Fieramosca: Hmm, interesting plan. It would be a shame if someone were to...interfere.

Teresa: Sounds foolproof. But hang on, my dad is coming back. You have to hide!

(Cellini hides behind the door. Fieramosca hides in Teresa’s bedroom. Balducci somes back.)

Balducci: Teresa, what are you up to? Are you talking to people? How many times do I have to remind you that you’re not allowed to have a life?

Teresa: (distracting him so Cellini can sneak out) DAD THERE’S A MAN IN MY BEDROOM

Balducci: What??? Let me see!

(Balducci goes into Teresa's bedroom and comes out dragging Fieramosca) I can’t believe this! This is so inappropriate, Fieramosca, how dare you?

Fieramosca: No, wait, let me explain! I just came to visit! Cellini is the real rascal!

Teresa: Oh the poor man is raving mad.

Balducci: I will not stand for this! Servants, come here! Let’s teach this seducer a lesson!

Servants: OH YEAAAHHHHH LET’S STICK HIM IN THE FOUNTAIN

Fieramosca: NO WAIT

Teresa: This is the best thing ever.

Act I Scene II

Piazza Colonna

Cellini: I can’t wait to elope with Teresa!

(A bunch of Cellini’s friends and students come in)

Chorus: LALALALALA LET’S GET SLOSHED

Cellini: Yes, but for god’s sake none of those ridiculous drinking songs. Let’s sing about the glory of metal-workers!

Everyone: YEAH GLORY TO THE METAL-WORKERS!! WE’RE THE BEST WE WORK WITH METAL THAT SPARKLES LIKE JEWELS AND RIPPLES LIKE FLOWERS AND IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN BOTH OF THOSE PUT TOGETHER

Bernardino: Alright folks, let’s drink up!

Innkeeper: Sorry lads, not until you pay your tab.

Cellini: Okay who’s got the cash? …nobody? Well this is a nice little pickle we’ve gotten ourselves into.

Ascanio: (enters carrying a bag of money) ASCANIO TO THE RESCUE

Everybody: YEAHHH VIVA ASCANIO

Ascanio: Okay hold your horses folks, before you spend this money, you have to realize where it’s coming from. It’s a down payment on that statue you’re supposed to build. Cellini, remember you promised the Pope you’d make that statue?

Cellini: Ugh, don’t remind me.

Ascanio: It’s literally my job to remind you.

Cellini: Fiiiiine I promise I’ll finish the statue.

Ascanio: Okay, cool. Here’s the money.

Cellini: Here you go, you troublesome little man, now give us our drinks.

(He gives the Innkeeper the money.)

Cellini: Okay, now that we all have had our libations, let’s talk revenge. You know that guy Balducci who’s always disrespecting me and trying to keep me away from my girlfriend? Well, I have a plan for Carnival where we can humiliate him in front of everyone as payback!

Everyone else: Sounds like a great time! We’re in.

Everyone: Yeah!! A curse on that guy! And while you’re at it, honor to the metal-workers again!!

Ascanio: That’s such a bop where’d it come from?

Cellini: We made it up while you were gone.

Ascanio: I always miss the fun stuff.

(they all leave to get ready; Fieramosca, who was eavesdropping, comes out into the open)

Fieramosca: Ugh, look at them all, plotting against my future!

Pompeo: (entering) Hey boo! What's with the long face?

Fieramosca: Alas, Pompeo, my only friend! What a week it's been! First off, I got an impromptu and very much unwanted bath at Balducci’s yesterday. And as if that weren’t enough, now Cellini and his apprentice are going to abduct my girl!

Pompeo: That’s actually not a bad idea.

Fieramosca: What do you mean?? You want him to steal Teresa from me?

Pompeo: No, the getting in disguise and abducting her part! Why don’t WE just don those same disguises and get her ourselves?

Fieramosca: Ohhh, I get it! What a great idea! Although I must admit, I am a little scared of what Cellini might do if he catches me in the act.

Pompeo: What you think he’s actually going to stab somebody? Here, let’s practice sword fighting so you’re prepared if he does try to pull anything funny.

Fieramosca: Good idea! (they practice sword fighting) HA LOOK AT ME, WHO WOULD EVER DARE CHALLENGE ME, ALL Y’ALL PEASANTS GET OUT OF MY WAY, I’M THE ROUGHEST TOUGHEST GUY YOU EVER DID SEE. Oh, Teresa, I wish you could know just how much my heart burns for you! I’ll be damned if I let that rascal Cellini come between us.

(They leave to get ready. Balducci enters with Teresa as the Piazza begins to fill with people)

Balducci: Well, Teresa, I hope you’re happy. I’ve decided to suffer through this vulgar comedy so you can stop nagging me about not letting you go to Carnival.

Teresa: I’ll never forget your sacrifice, dad. (Come to think, it DOES make me feel a little guilty to be running away from home...is it fair to leave him all by himself?)

Cellini and Ascanio: (dressed as monks) Quickly and quietly, let’s get down to business! The plot is about to start!

Chorus or Troupers: COME, GOOD PEOPLE OF ROME!! COME AND SEE OUR SHOW!!

People: THIS IS SO MUCH FUN CARNIVAL IS AWESOME

Troupers: Let the show begin! (They start a pantomime featuring a parody of Balducci and the Pope)

Balducci: What fresh nonsense is this?

Teresa: Uhhh maybe we should go?

People: SHUT UP AND WATCH THE SHOW

Balducci: You know what? I’m going to suffer through this whole thing and then go tell the Pope how you’re all mocking him! Because he and I talk all the time I guess.

People: WE SAID SHUT UP JUST WATCH THE SHOW

Cellini: Ascanio, can you see Teresa?

Ascanio: Nope but I see someone else trying to interfere with our plans!

People: HAHAHA WATCH THE SHOW THIS IS SO FUNNY LOOK AT HARLEQUIN LOOK AT THE OLD MAN HAHAHA

Balducci: I’M GOING TO TELL ON ALL OF YOU

Teresa: Dad, stop, you’re just riling them up!

Balducci: THAT’S IT I’VE HAD ENOUGH COME GET A TASTE OF MY WRATH (he runs onstage wielding his cane)

People: HAHAHA THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER

Fieramosca: Come on, Pompeo, let’s sneak over and grab Teresa!

Cellini: Come on, Ascanio, let’s sneak over and grab Teresa!

Fieramosca: Teresa, it’s me! Come with me!

Cellini: Teresa, it’s me! Come with me!

Teresa: ??? I don’t know who is who!

Cellini: Come with me!

Fieramosca: Come with me!

Teresa: You know, when I imagined myself falling in love, I never thought I’d have two fake monks vying for my attention.

Ascanio: WE’VE BEEN HAD YOU WON’T GET AWAY WITH THIS (starts chasing Fieramosca)

Cellini: Get out of my way! Cut it out! (He and Pompeo fight; Cellini stabs Pompeo.)

Pompeo: Oh, I’m dead! (He dies.)

People: OMG SOMEBODY DIED CALL 911 I CAN’T BELIEVE A MONK JUST KILLED A GUY WHAT KIND OF WORLD DO WE LIVE IN

Fieramosca: OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST KILLED MY BOYFRIEND

Teresa: OMG CELLINI

Balducci: OMG A DEAD MAN TERESA WHERE ARE YOU

Cellini: OMG I’M REALLY IN TROUBLE NOW

Ascanio: Well, that happened.

(General chaos ensues; Cellini’s students help him escape. Amidst the mayhem Balducci bumps into Fieramosca, and, thanks to his white monk costume, mistakes him for the murderer)

Balducci: I FOUND HIM I FOUND THE MURDERER

Fieramosca: ...are you telling me this is the second time in as many days I’m being accused of something that Cellini did?

Ascanio: Come on, Teresa, let’s get out of here!

Teresa: You don’t have to tell me twice! (They both run off.)

Act II Scene I

Cellini’s workshop

Teresa: Oh my gosh what a catastrophe! I hope Cellini is okay!

Ascanio: Have faith! My master is not one to let a silly little murder accusation get him down. I mean, he did actually kill the guy, but I’m sure it will all work itself out. Have faith!

Teresa: Let’s pray for his safe return! (She and Ascanio sing a very pretty prayer; Cellini busts into the workshop)

Cellini: HONEY I’M HOME

Teresa and Ascanio: OMG YAYY YOU’RE ALIVE

Cellini: It was a close call! Everyone was running after me with daggers and calling out for my blood! I thought for sure I was done for, but I managed to evade the crowd and find a place to hide, but passed clean out in the process. It was just my fortune that as I came to my senses, as group of white monks were walking past! I joined their procession and no one was the wiser. God led them right to you!

Teresa: OMG that’s such a harrowing adventure! I’ve got goosebumps.

Ascanio: And you’re sure this is 100% accurate, with no embellishments?

Cellini: What do you take me for? Now, come on, we’ve got to get out of here before they come after us again.

Ascanio: Whoops, they’re already here.

Balducci: Cellini, you scoundrel, abductor, murderer, and general all-around-annoying person! Relinquish my daughter. It’s time for her to unite with her husband, Fieramosca.

Cellini: OVER MY DEAD BODY

Ascanio: Don’t give them any ideas!

Balducci: Come on, Fieramosca, claim your bride!

Teresa: DAD NOOOOO

Fieramosca: Uh...I don’t want to cause a scene…

(The Pope enters with his retinue)

Everybody: OH SHI--OH DEAR IT’S THE POPE

Pope: Rise, rise, my children! Relish in my holiness, but don’t hurt yourselves.

Balducci and Fieramosca: Oh your Holiness, please grant us your assistance! That rascal Cellini has tarnished Teresa’s honor.

Cellini: Come on, I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration.

Pope: Well well, well, Cellini, this isn’t the first time you’ve gotten in trouble with me, is it? For example, where’s my statue? The one I commissioned you to make?

Cellini: Well...it’s not quite done yet.

Pope: Are you saying I should find someone else to cast the statue instead?

Cellini: WHAT?? HOW DARE YOU!! SOMEONE ELSE CAST M STATUE?? I’D RATHER DIE THAN SEE SOME AMETURE DARE TO PUT THEIR GRUBBY LITTLE FINGERS ON MY MASTERWORK

Everyone else: Are you seriously yelling at the Pope????

Pope: Arrest this man!

Cellini: YOU ARREST ME AND I WILL DESTROY THIS MODEL RIGHT HERE THEN NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO FINISH THE STATUE! NOBODY!! NOBODY!!

Pope: How dare you threaten me? What’s it going to take to calm you down?

Cellini: I want full forgiveness for all my crimes up till this point. Wipe my record clean.

Pope: Fine, fine.

Cellini: ALSO I want Teresa.

Balducci and Fieramosca: WHAT??? Your Holiness can’t possibly be considering this.

Cellini: I ALSO want more time to finish the statue.

Pope: …you know my weakness for art; fine, fine, I can’t really say no.

Balducci and Fieramosca: What audacity! But we’ll see who has the last laugh.

Teresa: Oh, what a fateful day!

Ascanio: Look at my master, he’s so clever and devious!

Pope: Okay, Cellini, here’s the deal. Finish the statue by tomorrow, and you’ll get all that you asked for. If you can’t finish it in time, you’ll be hanged.

Cellini: Fine!

Balducci and Fieramosca: He’s on the brink of ruin! We’ll see who wins this one!

Teresa: He’s doomed, alas! There’s nothing left for me in this world! Luckily I'm not going to end my life based on this notion like most operatic heroines, but I still feel dread in my heart!

Cellini: I’ve got to win this!

Ascanio: Come one boss you’re the best you got this!!!!

Act II Scene II

Cellini’s Foundry

Ascanio: TRALALALALALA….idk what I’m feeling...I’m happy, then I’m sad, then I’m crying, then I’m laughing, then I’m singing! Must be the hormones. Or the stress...our little bronze boy is finally getting finished today! But there’s a lot on the line. On one hand, I’m all scared that we’ll fail and my poor master will be hanged; on the other hand I can’t help laughing over how ridiculous the whole situation is...I mean, did you SEE the way my master stood up to the Pope?? Anyway, I better start getting ready. Tralalala! (He exits)

Cellini: What have I gotten myself into? How did I expect to finish this statue on time? All of Rome has its eyes on me

Ascanio: *Hamilton chorus voice* history has its eyes on youuuu

Cellini: What?

Ascanio: Nothing. I’m not here.

Cellini: Ah, why can’t I be a simple shepherd, whiling my life peacefully away in the mountains?

Chorus outside: Oooh!! here’s a grim old sea shanty

Cellini: I wish they’d stop! Nothing good ever happens when they sing that song!

Ascanio: (coming back) Not that song again!

Cellini: Take heart! We’re like sailors ourselves, but our sea is made of metal! Let’s get to work!

Fieramosca: NOT SO FAST!! I demand justice! Cellini, I challenge you to a duel! No need for all those sword-fighting lessons to go to waste.

Cellini: Someone finally grew a pair, eh? Fine, let’s duel right here.

Fieramosca: Not here! If I kill you in your own place, I’m a murderer. Meet me behind St. Anthony’s cloister.

Cellini: I’ll see you there!

(Fieramosca leaves; Teresa enters)

Ascanio: Here’s your sword, boss!

Teresa: Omg Cellini are you going to a duel??

Cellini: Relax, it’s just Fieramosca. (exit with Ascanio.)

Teresa: What if it’s an ambush????

Cellini’s workers (storming in) THAT’S IT WE’RE GOING ON STRIKE THESE WORKING CONDITIONS SUCK

Teresa: Oh heavens! What’s this ruckus? Come on, folks, just wait for Cellini to come back and talk about it!

Workers: NOPE WE’RE OUTTA HERE

(Fieramosca walks in)

Teresa: OMG FIERAMOSCA IS BACK WITHOUT CELLINI THAT MEANS CELLINI IS DEAD HE KILLED CELLINI (faints)

Workers: YOU KILLED OUR BOSS???

Fieramosca: What? No! Geez, this really is not my week. I’m just here to offer you the raise Cellini won’t give you.

Workers: NOPE WE’RE LOYAL TO CELLINI FORGET WHAT WE JUST SAID GET OUTTA HERE YOU RASCAL

Cellini: (coming back) What’s going on?

Teresa: (awake) OMG YOU’RE ALIVE

Cellini: ...was that ever in question? Oh, hey, Fieramosca, you’re just in time to help build the statue! Here’s an apron, get to work.

Fieramosca: What? I--

Everyone else: Get to work, or you’ll be taking another impromptu bath, but this time it’ll be in a sea of molten metal!

Fieramosca: YIKES! Okay, lead the way.

Everyone: COME ON LADS LET’S GET TO WORK

(the workers and Fieramosca head to the forge. Balducci enters with the Pope.)

Balducci: Teresa! What are you doing here?

Teresa: Uh, funny story.

Pope: So, Cellini, is my statue done yet?

Cellini: Nope, but it will be very soon.

Balducci: We’ll see about that.

Pope: You better be right.

Fieramosca: (running in) We need more metal for the statue!

Cellini: What, are you messing up my statue?? Let me go see (he runs to the forge)

Balducci: Fieramosca? What are you doing wearing an apron?

Fieramosca: Would you believe me if I said I got a new job?

Cellini: (coming back) Haha nothing to see here! Everything is going according to plan! We just need a bit more metal, that’s all, no biggie.

Workers: Just one problem: There is no more metal. And the fire’s going out. If we don’t get more metal in there quick, the whole thing will be ruined!

Balducci: Well, well, well, looks like I’m winning!

Cellini: NO THIS IS NOT THE END I REFUSE TO GIVE UP! Everyone, just grab anything metal and throw it in there!

Workers: What?? Even all your old work?

Cellini: I SAID EVERYTHING DIDN’T I

(Cellini, the workers, and Ascanio all start grabbing metal things and throwing them into the furnace)

Teresa: I can’t handle this stress!!

Pope: I can’t believe the nerve of this guy! Is it possible he could actually succeed?

(An explosion comes from the forge)

Cellini: OMG THIS IS IT I’M DONE FOR

Workers: WOOHOO WE DID IT LONG LIVE CELLINI

Cellini: We did it??

Workers: VICTORY! VICTORY!! LOOK AT THE STATUE ISN'T IT AMAZING

Fieramosca: CELLINI WE DID IT HOW ABOUT A HUG

Cellini: ...how about no

Pope: Well, Cellini, I didn't think I was going to be able to say this, but you made good on your word. I officially pardon your sins, and bless your marriage to Teresa. (He leaves.)

Cellini: YAYY TERESA

Teresa: YAYY CELLINI

Everyone: VICTORY!! LONG LIVE CELLINI!! IMMORTAL GLORY! GLORY TO THE METAL-WORKERS!!!!

The End

[helisol]

:)

again not a finished fic but very extensive notes, this one’s a chonker, 4k words

tl;dr: take it a ds9 but make it into high fantasy wizards. garashir, kiradax and quodo. we’ve got it all here folks.

SO BASICALLY 

I read a book about a young witch apprentice in a world where every magician has a ~special name~ based on an object/plant/animal they’re spiritually connected to.

then I watched ds9 and got introduced to the concept of cardassians being lizards.

the result- wizard lizard.

So Garak “The Lizard” is a mage that got exiled from his home country and ended up taking a pretty neat job in a rural area of a larger empire where being a wizard is Cool and Widely Accepted. 

his duties include keeping the villages around his tower safe, looking for young mages to turn into apprentices, and sometimes making clothes because he’s Still A Tailor.

however, because of his chronic “i no wanna work” disease, this lizard has not actually been looking around the villages near him for magically gifted children. shame on him. 

because through his negligence Julian Bashir, young village doctor, grew up without even knowing that he can do ~magic~

but he soon finds out when his town gets attacked by a Big Evil Magic Monster. The Lizard is taking his sweet time to come to their rescue and Julian can’t just sit by and watch innocent people get mauled by a Chimera or Giant Mantis.

So Julian does the heroic thing and jumps inbetween a wounded child and the monster in the exact second Garak shows up.

And he gets to watch as Julian unleashes some Magic for the first time.

Then Garak Kind Of Abducts Julian So He Can Teach Him Magic

Garak is contractually obligated and allowed to take on anyone who is capable of magic as an apprentice, and he finds Julian’s magic interesting enough to invoke that contract now. Not Julian himself though. Only his magic. for now.

Julian- for like, the first week- is NOT OKAY with being teleported into a tower fortress by a wizard he finds intimidating and scary, and he loudly protests when Garak actually starts to teach him magic spells.

However, this is Julian, and he *is* intrigued by the thought of being able to use magic For Doing Good.

So one night he admits defeat and slinks up to the tower and goes “Okay. Compromise. Teach me healing magic.”

To which Garak is like 👀 “Okay.”

They start having regular magic lessons mostly focused on healing, which Julian is just naturally good at. So they move on to other things. Which Julian is Not naturally good at.

And he becomes very frustrated.

Garak tries to assuage him and says that he doesn’t have to be accomplished in every single field and discipline- which is logically true- but Julian is having none of it since Garak is accomplished in every field.

In a fit of anger Julian unleashes emotional magic again and breaks some of Garak’s things. Books, vials, a desk, nothing super major. But Julian is still surprised and shocked at himself for causing trouble like this and he Runs Away. Straight up exits stage left.

And Garak, who just got flung against the wall by his little apprentice, just rushes to the window and looks as Julian runs away and he is. Disappointed.

Next we have Julian returning home and everyone is like "Doctor!!! You were gone for half a year???" And Julian is like "I thought I was only gone for a month at most-"

Yeah the joke is time flies when you’re having fun because Julian *did* have fun living with Garak. He doesn’t regret leaving though, after all Garak was probably furious after he wrecked his study he wasn’t.

So Julian says to himself "Hmph. I'll just stay home for a week. Garak will hardly notice I'm gone. And then I can make it up to him."

But Then He Stays For A Whole Month

He has to instruct a new doctor to take over the nearby villages, do some paperwork, help some sick people, practice some magic on his own- and at the end of the month He Doesn’t Want To Stay Any Longer.

He’s always been different from the other village people, and now he finally got a taste of what it’s like to have someone help you to achieve your potential and widen your horizon and he *doesn’t* want to give that up for a boring but busy country life.

So back to the tower it is. Julian arrives, the place is kind of messy, and when he finds Garak he is in his study. on the floor. a little drunk, definitely sad, and Very Surprised To See Him.

Here we get a scene where Garak tipsily tells Julian how much he’s grown to appreciate him, not just for his magic talent, but as a person- and that he’s missed him.

But The Next Morning Garak Does Not Remember

And he's just like "Oh Julian. Youre back. I'd almost forgotten about you."

For a second Julian wants to punch a wall because *Yesterday You Told Me You Missed Me*, but then he just Smiles. settles for what they have right now. and asks Garak to continue teaching him magic.

so they go on. and have. so many gay moments.

And then Garak gets told to attend some kind of magic council meeting/banquet.

Julian says something along the lines of "Oh well, guess I'll stay home. You know, protect the fort. Practice magic." but he's a little sad about it.

But garak just goes "Hmm No. I'm taking you with me"

"What-" "I'm introducing you as my apprentice to the magic council." "W h a t-" "Oh also you need pretty clothes for this so I'm gonna make you some. Since you’re a commoner with no actual taste." "W H A T-"

So garak makes a really nice suit for Julian and for himself they match and they go to the Cool Wizard Banquet.

At which Julian meets a lot of wizards and witches and he's like "Wow this is so exciting!" but he also realises he is a Total Country Bumpkin And Noob compared to these people and their apprentices.

He also hears that Apparently the Local Wizard of every region is supposed to do a 5-yearly sweep of the surrounding towns to check for kids that have magic potential and then send them to Magic School/take them in as their apprentice directly.

And Garak. Did not do that.

He was Lazy and Angery. Exile will do that to you.

Julian isn’t too happy when he learns about this and he walks out of the banquet hall into the garden- to where Garak follows him.

"So just because you were all bitchy about having to follow this country's rules about magic you let me grow up not knowing my full potential? How many of my childhood friends might be able to do magic if they tried?"

“I was in a really bad place back then."

"SO WHAT? Things are okay now because you found me? If you had been two minutes early during that attack you wouldnt even know I could use magic!"

"...but I *wasn’t* early!"

So Julian just throws up his hands in frustration and leaves to get away from Garak for a while.

The next day he mingles more with the other apprentices and they exchange Ideas and Skills and also Gossip about their teachers.

Some of the apprentices suggest that Julian could go to magic school for a while before applying for a *new* teacher, since obviously Garak did him wrong.

This doesn’t sound like a bad idea, so he talks with some older mages and most of them are friendly and are like “Oh yeah, sure, we’d love to take you in.”

But then it turns out a lot of people are talking behind his back about how much of an outlier he is.

(wizard culture is like 50% magic and 50% gossip)

So Julian is standing on a balcony and down below he hears a group of Douche Wizards discussing his inadequacies.

And it kinda makes Julian feel like absolute shit, so his powers go wobbly again. But then enter stage right: Garak

Who properly puts those wizards into their rightful place like "Say one more bad thing about my apprentice and I’ll blast your punk ass back to Romulus. You should KNOW the reason why I dont usually take apprentices, but here you are anyway saying he has no power. He has more power in his pinky than all of you combined."

Turns out there’s an extra layer to Why Garak didn’t do the "Check for Magicians in your Area" thing- it’s because he openly has no interest in training or working with anyone who isnt Special or Powerful.

Which means Julians happens to be. very special. and very powerful.

And hearing that from Garak makes him go 😳

His emotions are running high and he starts *floating*. Probably the worst thing to do on a first floor balcony out of All The Things To Do On A First Floor Balcony.

So he’s Floating and he doesnt know how to make that Stop.

He panics, starts falling and basically crashes right into Garaks arms.

"Oh great, youre right on time. We're leaving."

"What? But the banquet lasts for a week?" also I'm still a little mad but also a little in love with you?

But Garak has already teleported them back to the tower before he can really argue.

Anyway Julian is upset about many things overall, but mostly that he didnt get to dance. He practiced a lot in his off time.

Thank God Garak Knows This 

"...I know how to make magic music. Let’s have a little fun at least."

They dance and Julian starts floating *again*.

Garak 👀’s @ Julian floating "Okay I’ve been recording most of your emotion based powers. This is new."

Julian just Floats Higher out of embarrassment, so garak is like ‘well I'll just join him up there.’

So he does and Julian is like “WHY CAN YOU DO THAT. SHOW ME HOW TO DO THAT. HOW CAN I CONTROL THIS."

Turns out his emotions are too unclear, which makes his magic unbalanced, so really all they have to do is get him some Clarity.

Garak is like "Well one very easy way to do that is-" and then they kiss in the air. Floating. because I’m gay and I will use gay magic tropes as I see fit.

so that’s the garashir side of things, on to kiradax

There's Some Slow Burn In There

Basically Kira is a mage, but instead of using magic to fight she just Enchants Swords/Arrows/Other Weapons.

Because she fought in a wizard war and when there's not a lot of mana potions to go around you have to get creative.

She didn’t get a proper magician name because she was actually never anyone’s apprentice, but people still call her The Blade because she is just so cool.

Anyway in this universe mages age very slowly, and Kira is probably around 60 years old when she meets Jadzia. Which is not a lot in wizard years.

She does feels a little inadequate about being so Young and Inexperienced she didn’t really expect nor wanted to run into the legendary Jadzia Dax who everyone thinks is like 300 years old, maybe more.

So meeting someone who is her complete opposite just makes her go "Hmph. I dont wanna associate with you." 

But Jadzia keeps popping in randomly around her almost every day until Kira snaps like "WHAT is your problem???"

“I never learned how to enchant tools."

"What."

"Can you teach me?"

"The great Dax has never enchanted a single tool or weapon?"

"I took care of everything with other types of magic. Will you teach me?"

So Kira Nerys, The Blade, the person everyone looked down on because she uses enchanted tools instead of magic for everything- is being asked by this legendary mage to teach her something. What an honor. What an incredible thing.

But She Says No

So Jadzia keeps bothering her every day.

But eventually bothering her turned into "Hey wanna get some coffee? Wanna go to the library with me? Can I look at you while youre in the smithy? Do you wanna look at me while I come up with new magic formulas? Wanna get drunk together and maybe kiss but definitely have no recollection of it in the morning?"

- over a span of 10 years.

But at the end of those 10 years Jadzia still hasnt learned how to enchant tools.

And it takes One day at the magic banquet for Nerys to actually realise the Implications of that.

It’s the third banquet they've been to- together, as each other’s plus one.

They color coordinate their robes and wear matching accessoires. The works.

And Kira decides that now is the day to grill her Totally-Not-Girlfriend about the reason why she sticks around.

"You could have just gotten someone else to teach you how to enchant things."

"Why would I need anyone to teach me, I have you to enchant things *for me*."

"No but before I started doing it for you. Like the whole first five years of knowing me."

"Oh well I didn’t want anyone else because I was very much infatuated with you."

And Kira just bluescreens. Error 404 nerys.exe not found.

Until she catches herself.

"You...*were* infatuated with me?"

"Yes? You obviously never saw me that way though. So I stuck around for the good company and the coffee."

Now you see over the course of 10 years Kira’s irritation about Jadzia slowly turned into Something Else. But she thought Jadzia only saw her as a friend.

On the other hand Jadzia definitely had feelings from the start, but because kira was in Denial she didnt act on those feelings.

If I were a shitty writer or- god foirbid- *Straight*, I would have there be a miscommunication right about now and prolong their useless lesbian suffering.

But I’m not.

Basically Kira just goes 

"Okay but when you say *were* attracted to me does that mean you *stopped*?"

"Uh. No?"

"Cool. Excuse me, I need a moment."

So she tries to hide from this sudden revelation and her feelings in a hedge maze, but there’s no use hiding from Jadzia.

 Who, instead of just walking around the labyrinth to find her like a normal person, basically whacks down the bushes in a straight line until she reaches Kira.

"THERE YOU ARE! I used this completely unenchanted sword to get to you and tell you I definitely still like you. Now will you PLEASE teach me how to enchant tools as your first courting gift?"

And Kira is like "God yes you dumbass-" and they kiss.

now wizard quodo is funny because I kind of started this part as a joke but then it all got Serious

First of all Quark is Actually A Really Powerful Magician.

But what does he do with his great power?

Move from his home country to the city of wizards and open a bar.

Because he is still fundamentally *Quark*.

And Odo is still fundamentally Odo, because he is a Shapeshifting Alien From Actual Outer Space You Know.

He still went through the whole "I was studied by scientists (wizards) and couldnt let them know I was sentient for a long time which made me very grouchy and lonely" thing.

So Odo spends like ~100 years going from captivity/being an object of scientific study to living as a guard in the city of wizards.

Basically everyone thinks that Odo cant use magic- including Odo- because, well, he’s a bunch of slime that came from a meteor.

Then he meets Quark, powerful wizard and bartender.

And he has *no* idea who he is.

Only that he’s the guy who runs that one shady gambling bar and is involved in some illegal business.

And Quark is like "Ah finally. A worthy opponent."

So he and Quark have the same vibe as on DS9- where Quark keeps doing illegal stuff and Odo tries to stop him and the universe decides to say enemies to lovers 400k words slowburn.

And one day Quark gets into some Seriously shady business with some people who are now very aggressively demanding Quark give them their money back

and they're. you know. threatening violence.

Odo shows up and right before this one dude is about to straight up sucker punch Quark he's like "HALT!" and Wow He Made A Magic Happen.

Now. Because Quark is Indebted to Odo. He is expected to take him on as his magic apprentice.

At first he is Not Down For That. They both aren’t. So even though technically they are teacher and apprentice they both just refuse to work together.

Until Odo goes to check up on Quark one day- because as we all know he makes it a point to drop by his bar four times a day just to let him know he's thinking about him- and Quark is in trouble again.

Only this time Odo is like "I'm not gonna help him. I dont even know how I *could* help him. Since he hasn’t taught me any magic, the bastard."

So he wants to just pass by and leave when Quark basically starts to just Demolish these people with magic in a frightening and totally not impressive display.

MIND YOU Quark is still generally incompetent. If this was D&D he'd have like, very low skill points but unlimited spell slots.

Anyway Odo goes 👀

Because him being unable to use magic in a country/city where everyone he *knows* can use magic has always made him feel bad.

So he goes to Quark like "Okay. I changed my mind. Please teach me magic."

And Quark tries to teach Odo magic, earnestly. 

And Odo tries to learn magic from Quark, for real. 

But the key word here is *try*.

Because neither is very good at what theyre *trying* to do.

Odo didn’t Really want to learn from Quark and that's pretty much the reason why Quark doesnt Really want to teach Odo. But They Try.

There’s a lot of fights and arguments and "You’re not doing it right" vs "You’re not explaining it right"

But hey, at least Odo can now do some magic, which makes his guard job a lot easier.

He also gets to socialise more with other wizards and their apprentices, and he becomes a generally happier pile of humanoid goo!

Meanwhile Quark slowly but surely turns into a more Respected wizard. And his bar also becomes a bit more respectable as well.

it's almost like,,they both wanna be,,,,their best selves,,

and learning to work together has Somehow set them on the right path,,,

idk man sounds kinda gay,,,,

But then the banquet rolls around.

Quark is like "Oh fuck I Have to take Odo to this social function because hes my apprentice and thems are the rules."

and Odo is like "Oh fuck I Have to attend this social function with Quark because thems the rules."

The vibe they’re both getting is- "It's all fun and games when we're by ourselves but Somehow acting friendly in public feels Wrong." 

So they agree to Arrive together and then split up and spend as little time as possible together lest they fall victim to some kind of *feeling*.

And like all plans that Odo and Quark make it works out brilliantly for Exactly 5 Minutes.

Because while Quark is talking to his accomplished and very boring wizard acquaintances he kinda realises "God I wish Odo were here-"

And as Odo is talking to all these annoying ass apprentices he kinda realises "God I wish Quark was here-"

So that's what they do on the first day of the banquet. and the second. and the third. 

They just keep only seeing each other from the corner of their eyes but dont really get to talk/argue about anything and it's making them feel Not So Good, Actually

Now the fourth day is the kicker.

Because while Odo is talking to some people he gets tapped on the shoulder and there he is! The worst father on this side of the galaxy! Doctor Mora- but like, as a wizard scientist.

"Oh my god Odo? You’re here? How did you manage that? You can’t use magic dont be silly! *I* studied you and who would know you better than me? What? *you* know yourself better? Nonsense, now walk with me- how have you been :)?"

Obviously Odo is getting Very distressed but he can't exactly say No, so he walks around with Mora.

They sit down near a fountain and his ‘father’ just starts grilling Odo about what he's been up to.

And eventually they start talking about Quark

"Wait, *Quark*? The absolute magic failure who runs that disgusting establishment? That Quark?"

"Well I wouldnt put it like that, he’s not-"

But Mora goes on- "Oh no my dear boy that won't do! You have to learn from a *good* wizard. Like me! Dont you want that? Oh I'm sure you want that. That nasty good for nothing will resign as your teacher first thing tomorrow!"

And Odo is like "Now wait a minute, Quark might have his flaws, but-"

"There! See, you admitted it. He's flawed. He can't possibly be a good teacher for you. But I would be! I *raised* you."

But Odo is getting Rather Angy right about now.

"Well you did a pretty bad job raising me considering you didnt even know I could do magic until now."

"I can’t believe it. Quark is such a bad influence on you. You never used to talk back at me. This is what happens when you hang around with people who dont know you like I do."

Then something in him snaps and Odo just goes Off on Mora.

"MAYBE *YOU* DONT KNOW *HIM* LIKE I DO!"

And he basically breaks the fountain theyre sitting at with some accidental emotional magic.

So after Mora goes "...I better get someone to fix that-" and runs off, Odo is standing in front of this broken fountain and thinks about how this might be a cruel metaphor for his life. And then the worst possible thing happens.

He Spots Quark Badly Hidden Behind A Pillar

Internally he just goes 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA' 

Externally though it’s more like "How much of that did you hear???"

Quark’s trying to lighten the mood with a "Haha well it's hard to avoid hearing things with lobes as big as mine!" 

But Odo is not playing, so he breaks the fountain some more. As intimidation.

So Quark goes "Okay. Alright. I heard all the parts where you defended my honor. Now move aside."

And Odo goes 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAA' inside again, so he doesnt really move but just gets nudged aside by Quark.

Who returns the fountain back to its previous state.

Things are nice and silent for a second but then Quark disturbs the moment by saying "Okay now, real talk- you want another teacher, is that right?"

So Odos head whips up and he goes "No??? What the fuck quark. I thought you listened to that conversation. Youre the only one I want-"

and he Immediately slaps a hand over his mouth because Oh God That Came Out Wrong-

But Quark is just Laughing and being his usual little shit self like "Haha good one, let's go back inside now. (where the social conventions will force us to remain apart so we dont have to confront what you just said.)"

on the inside though- Quark is just as 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA' as Odo

"I absolutely Cannot go inside and socialise right now, I’ve had Quite enough of that." 

"Oh...well then...i'll leave you be?"

"No don’t-"

So Odo quickly grabs Quark’s hand (and Quark just fuckin uh dies on the spot) but he's not very communicative at the moment. So Quark kinda has to just interpret that for himself.

"Aaaaalright- let’s just take a walk then."

So they walk through the rose garden. holding *hands*. and Quark points out nice or interesting things while Odo just nods or hums in agreement.

Until they’ve come full circle and end up back at the fountain, where Quark is like "Okay. Wanna go back inside *now*?" 

Because he swears if they spend one more second like this he will HAVE to kiss this pile of space goo and he’d rather Odo make that decision for him.

And Odo is like "I just want to stay with you."

So Quark is like ‘Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool’, pulls them behind a hedge and kisses Odo.

because on GOD I enjoy the “going from an argument straight into kissing” trope, but that one is actually too on brand for quodo so I HAD to change it up.

[dotuindex]

Summary: After the end of the series. The hooligans get together and play a drinking game.

Warnings: Alcohol, college-age heathens being heathens

Lance entered the lounge with a flourish, rubbing his hands together.

"Alrighty folks, the gremlin is asleep! Time ta' booze it!"

"Already one step ahead of ya!" Hunk said, pouring liquor into some of the most ridiculously small glasses Allura had ever seen.

Lance plopped himself down on the ground in front of Keith, who was curled up against the armrest of the couch. The captain leaned over to ruffle his hair.

"This is a weekend at the Garrison all over again." Said Sven.

"Is that a bad thing?" Romelle asked.

"Not until the morning after." Hunk replied, chuckling, setting another full glass down on the coffee table.

"It's bad from start to finish." Sven said.

Romelle nudged him with her elbow playfully, "Why do I feel like there's a story you're not telling me?"

"Several, actually!" Keith jumped in. "This one time-"

Sven's face went a little pink, "No, no, no, no, we're NOT having a story time."

"Yeah, Keith, give the guy a break." Lance said. "He doesn't like talking about things that happened during his goth phase."

"... Goth?" Romelle turned to Sven, who just buried his face in his hands.

"Nothing, it's nothing- what are we going to do?"

"Wellll... I was thinking Never Have I Ever." Keith had this cheeky grin on his face that the team was all too familiar with at this point.

“What are you, a teenage girl?” Sven huffed.

"Never Have I Ever?" Merla raised a brow.

"Yeah! One person says "never have I ever" followed by something they've never done, and if you've done that, you take a shot." Keith explained.

"Sounds fun." Allura said, toying with the ends of her hair. "Who wants to start?"

"I will!" Lance said. "Never have I ever gotten arrested in only my underwear!"

"Fuck you, McClain!" Sven shouted, face suddenly red as he quickly downed a shot.

"So much for being the soft spoken one." Merla said, mostly just to Allura, who's heart did a flip suddenly.

"You did what?" Romelle tried to stifle her laughter enough to ask.

"I was drunk! And I didn't break the law, it was over a noise complaint!"

"We're putting a pin in this one. When we get home, you're telling me aaaaall about this "goth phase" of yours." Romelle told him. "Who's next?"

Keith said, "I say we go clockwise. Hunk, you're up."

The man in question hummed as he thought for a moment, then grinned.

"Never have I ever thrown up on my crush."

"So it's Fuck Sven Holgersson Day today, huh?" Sven took another shot, and Romelle snorted as Allura gagged.

"That's so gross!" The Polluxian laughed, making Sven's blush darken.

"It's not entirely about you, Sven." Hunk said, turning his head to eye Keith.

"What? I've never done that!"

"Oh really? There's a guy back on base who says otherwise."

It was Keith's turn to go red.

"He wasn't my crush, he was my boyfriend!"

"Close enough, drink up, ya nasty." Lance said, passing Keith a shot. He groaned, but downed it anyway, making a series of gagging noises.

"Your turn, Princess." He coughed.

"Um..." hmm.

His was a little trickier than she thought.

"It can be anything. As mundane or weird as you want." Lance encouraged.

She chewed on it for another moment, then spoke.

"Never have I ever... kissed anyone?"

"WHAT?!" Romelle gaped at her like she'd been smacked. "You've never kissed anyone? Ever?"

"No, no one."

"You're so precious," She whispered, "so pure!"

"Am not!"

"Oh c'mon, it's nothing to be ashamed of! You do you, Princess." Lance assured her.

Allura huffed. "Well? I think most if not all of you should be drinking right now!"

And with that, everyone besides Allura took a shot, and she was suddenly, terribly embarrassed by her admission.

"I believe it's my turn now, yes?" Merla said in that smooth voice of hers as she eyed the room. She didn't hesitate before saying, "Never have I ever been romantically interested in a man."

"You married one, though!" Lance objected.

"Purely out of necessity." Merla clarified, her face twisting up at the memory.

Lance huffed, and everyone in the room took a glass save for Hunk and Merla.

Allura eyed her drink skeptically, before taking a deep breath and gulping it down. She immediately regretted it as she sputtered and coughed.

"People actually drink this stuff?!" She wheezed.

"I know, right?" Keith agreed.

"It's an acquired taste." Hunk said, shrugging.

"I want to know who this guy is, though." Romelle leaned forward, elbows on the coffee table. "Spill it, cousin."

Allura pursed her lips but didn't respond, making a point of not meeting the other Princess's eyes.

"She had it bad for Keith there for a while." Lance said.

"Keith?" Said Romelle

"In my defense," Allura cut in to attempt saving her dignity, "I didn't know he was gay."

"Do you just not have a gaydar, or are you willfully ignorant?" Her cousin teased.

"Cut her some slack, she didn't even know what gay meant when we all met." Hunk waved dismissively.

"It's my turn, right?" Romelle asked, setting her beer down on the table. She was given a few nods.

“Never have I ever...” She huffed. “Damn, I’ve done a lot of shit... Oh! Okay. Never have I ever done any type of drug!”

There was a moment of silence before Lance reached for a glass.

“LANCE MCCLAIN!”

“It was just weed, Keith, chill out!”

“I expected better from you!”

“No you didn’t. You hoped for better but deep down, you knew.”

Keith shook his head with a sigh.

[totallytremendoushideout]

Hear me out guys...

*Cracks knuckles* 

Okay, SO, I put a lot of thought into this and I firmly believe that Kie has had a massive crush on Sarah Cameron and here’s why:

Before we start, you may be thinking, “how do we know Kie likes Sarah, or that she even likes girls?” well let me show you...

(Just a bunch of queer babbling below the cut so don’t click if you’re going to be rude about it. Just a warning, it’s a long read but I do be spittin facts tho...)

EXHIBIT A:

This is a screenshot of Kie’s backpack from episode one when they are walking to the kegger. (Don’t ask me how many tries it took to get this even remotely clear haha.) But notice the bird pin? The colors?

That’s the pansexual pride flag everyone. Now, granted, I’m aware that Madison Bailey which is the actress who plays her is openly pansexual and this could very well be her own personal touch that she decided to add into the character. Then again this is Kie, not Madison. Kiara Carrera is casually walking around Outer Banks wearing the pansexual pride flag on her backpack. And we won’t even touch on the human rights patch on there but I know you see it...

EXHIBIT B:

Kie’s dress from Midsummers aka a party the she knew for a fact that Sarah Cameron would be attending. Again, pay attention to the colors. 

Now here is the bisexual pride flag.

Interesting color choices, huh Kie? Hmm. I see you sending those signals girls. I see you. 

Now moving on to Kie x Sarah.

EXHIBIT C:

When Kie was talking to Pope on the dock after John B refused to choose between her and Sarah, she decides to talk to Pope about what really happened which bring me to these screenshots

“Our first day together...” Well I guess that’s one way to phrase it... And you know she goes on to say how they saved the baby sea turtles. Pope says “that actually sounds kinda nice.” And she looks him dead in the eye and says:

Her entire life. Not like getting her license, hanging out with the pogues, breaking into construction zones with them, or ANY of the parties that they had together. No. The BEST day of her life was going to the beach to save baby sea turtles with Sarah Cameron. And given how passionate she is about giving back to the planet I’m sure was not the first or only time she’s saved baby turtles, yet THAT DAY was the best of her life... K.

EXHIBIT D:

Later in the same episode when they’re abandoned by the boys to work out their differences, Kie asks Sarah why she ghosted her and Sarah says:

Kie chokes out a strangled, “what?” THEN she makes this face. I present to you folks, gay panic.

Come on I cannot be the only one who thought that Kie had been busted here. She also then goes on to ask Sarah not to bail on John B because he’s “not just some other guy” and “really really” likes her. Now don’t get me wrong I also believe Kie has feeling for John B (that’s a whole other story), but other than the conversation with everyone on the porch right before this scene and possibly catching him staring at her, how would Kie know that he was soooo into Sarah? Maybe I’m delusional but I think this could double as a way of Kie pleading with Sarah not to leave her again since they had just made up and she didn’t want to lose her again. 

EXHIBIT E:

Then of course we fast forward to this iconic scene at Sarah’s window as she’s being held hostage by W*rd. When Sarah put her hand on the glass (*ahem* first...)

And then we get to see the look of sheer happiness on Kie’s face for a very brief second before they hear the worst person in this show heading up the stairs shouting for Sarah. There’s even tears in her eyes I MEAN COME ON.

AND THAT’S LOVE BABY! 

I REST MY CASE YOUR HONOR. 

UPDATE:

I also forgot to mention this part and it just came to me but when Kie and Pope first get to Tannyhill (right before the window scene) when Pope confesses his “love” for Kie... She tells him that it’s not gonna happen and that “this (meaning Sarah’s house) REALLY isn’t the place to do it”... take that as you wish but I know the connotation that has to me.

I’m sure there’s plenty of subtle glances and little things here and there but these are the things that stood out to me as a viewer (and shipper). Plus, this post is long enough as it is. I worked pretty hard on this post with all of the screenshots and everything knowing that probably no one would read this entire thing if at all, but yeah that’s that on that. I also made a moodboard for pansexual Kie/Madison Bailey that I will be posting tomorrow. When it’s up I will attempt to link it here.

[anonil88]

We Are Who We Are Ep 1 thoughts.

Heads up I've started writing these halfway into an episode so I'm immersed pretty into it and can make a well rounded reaction.

Interesting set up and premise. But I wonder how well this will be executed.

Very open free spirit household.

Those kids are pieces of shit for inviting him and then bullying him. He is a little weird but a sweetheart.

Also HE LIKES FASHION of course he does.

He's a bit of an alcoholic it seems or just likes alcohol which can teeter the line. Oh no he had to leave his lil boyfriend 😭.

Aw his other mom picked him up.

Ooo throw up shot nice smh.

This mustn't be the first time he's been drunk or gotten in trouble.

Sigh theres always a parent who saves the day no matter straight or gay.

Ahh military parents getting caught in their ego and ignoring their partners and kids.

Oooo "Americans can only be happy in America"...."This is America." Gotta love that US based are tiny bits of America but lineal spaces.

Wait is Fraser autistic? Or does he have any mental disorders? Maybe I'm only saying that because my family would have drop kicked me if I'd slapped my mom unless (when I was younger with less coping skills) was having an outburst of sorts.

Whattt dead? Whatttt? Oh he's still drunk.

Thank goodness he still had some clothes packrf like I would have had a full panic attack if my luggage was lost oversees with my designer clothes. (I'm assuming designer because his granddad has schmoney but he also gives me cates about his looks.)

Thats a nice jacket though, I think Commes Des Garcons is the brand or at least this is an inspired piece.

Oh okay Fraser I see you have some lil crushes forming. That soldier foine tho he's probably like 18. So eee idk bout that cause he's underage. (Edit: Fraser is 17 so if the soldier is 18 its not illegal but i'd rather Fraser not get community ass or dick. No more cmbyn Luca.)

The music selection is pretty great like Klaus Nomi ??

CUDI !!! Wait Cudi is their, Caitlin's dad :0

The military regulations are pretty clean. Her voice and commands could be a bit cleaner though. But maybe that's on purpose because shes gotta be nervous af now commanding a base.

Fuck you Colonel.

This base is pretty nice btw.

Oop okay subtle flirtatious behavior and noone can kick you out of the US military for being queer now...kind of. Oh he's just a giant flirt also again can we not do the minor and grown ass adult thing.

Loving Maggie and Fraser's relationship. But I feel like Sarah and Fraser's relationship is going to be whirlwind.

Oh thank the lord his clothes have come omg all designer/custom piece .

Just let them be them jeez everyone has to find themselves regardless of if you like or agree with it or not. Ahh Caitlin/Harper is living a double life hmm exploring their identity.

Lmfao Fraser said you're like me so lets talk, but I won't out you.

So overall thoughts the editing is a bit choppy like all over the place. Which is kind of disorienting and I don't know if a lot of people are going to enjoy that. Editing can really break shows even good ones. But characters wise I'll say Cait/Harper is a mystery and it took me a second but I got that they were staring at Fraser because Fraser seems very obviously nyc and probably more understanding. But they have no idea how to approach Fraser so they were just staring and tbh queer folk yes thats what we look like its sometimes obvious that we all stare at eachother with a certain wonder, confusion, and excitement even past the baby gay stage.

I feel like Fraser is a person who goes through the world in a daze like floating from one space to another. It makes him scatter brained and different, his interests vary but this is about him learning. I like him though just don't know much about him yet. Of course if I had to relate him to any character from another popular adult show that centers teens he's a more chaotic windmill version of Jules from Euphoria. Speaking of which I think this show might have a hard time carving out its own identity because of their shared platform. This premiere was like world building and very very vague so we only have touches on each character.

I will keep watching because I would like to see where this story is going to go. Also to see the acting chops of these new young actors. I am hoping that the next episode gives us the viewers more to hold onto rather than dental floss attached to ceiling post by nails. But, I just hope we get more clarity rather than just vague things we need to piece together in the future. Which btw works super well for movies but not always TV. So adapting that style to TV is gonna be interesting.

[Also funny how most actors first big role their characters name sounds like their name lol.]

Preview: so everyone just doing everyone but, this seems like it is going to be very sad and dark which is fine with me.

Sorry this is so long.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 15x15 “Gimme Shelter”

fact: Cas is the best

--

02:35pm

well now i have africa by toto in my head

i am TIRED

i just went out to vote and i used up all my spoons

but i’m already a day late with this soooooo... i will use a fork

-

does it occur to sam and dean that by killing both god and the darkness it might not save the world but end it

-

i think this sloppy food is meant to look unappealing, but to me, a person who is both hungry and hasn’t eaten anything but mushed banana and burned green beans and assorted other mush and quinoa for over a year, it looks fucking delicious

-

i like pastor guy

i was informed it’s the same actor as played dr. sexy

i’m hoping that’s at least referenced

(edit: it was not. but i ain’t even mad, i really enjoyed this character and i think the actor would’ve been more limited if he’d been stuck with the dr. sexy character. he did a really moving job here)

-

02:45

dean trying to wordlessly signal to his husband that he needs to do the babysitting today

-

02:48

jack has a teddy <3

-

whY AND HOW DOES CAS HAVE A PHOTO OF HIMSELF AS A COWBOY

DID DEAN DEMAND THEY STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND PULL OUT HIS PHONE FOR A PHOTOSHOOT

AND PRINT PHOTOS

FOR REASONS

-

i like zack the crossroad demon

what a nerd

giving me crowley vibes but more good omens crowley than spn crowley

(edit: i wonder if zack is coming back another time? was that thread left open? he got in the car with the girl at the end but THEN WHAT)

-

cas: “no. no we’re gonna stay. we can help.”

THAT WAS SOFT 

<3

-

“vALERIe”

AND THE MASK

jumpscared me 

jesus

-

03:03pm

jack: “i have more dads than most”

sounds like his parents are in some kind of queerpoly relationship....

HMM

.........actually you know what, i think that was the point, i think it was meant to sound queer and when the girl doesn’t react negatively to that it shows what kind of church it is

wait wait i’m sorry

not church

faith based community

(i like that, actually)

-

connor confirmed gay

eyy it’s a good faith based community

but also sad the gay guy dies first :/

-

“a saint is a sinner who keeps trying”

10/10

-

???????????????

THE

GAS THING

IS BEHIND THE NUMBER PLATE

?????????????

FIFTEEN SEASONS AND OVER A DECADE ON TUMBLR AND I NEVER KNEW THAT

WHAT THE FUCK

-

i really don’t think they’re gonna kill amara by the end of this show

i still think amara, rowena, and billie make up some kind of holy trifecta and they outlive everyone else

-

i appreciate the narrative importance of not lying in this circle, because that’s why folks are dying

jack and cas don’t even know that

but cas wouldn’t even lie about his name

i love this

-

cas: “and i became a father, and in that i rediscovered my faith”

;~;

-

enjoying the reflection of cas and jack being completely honest, and sam and dean lying to amara on purpose

-

i attended a zoom torah class earlier this week and it was about the concept of adam being nonbinary, as in one androgynous being was split into masculine and feminine

that’s what amara talking about her and chuck being twins reminded me of

-

cas heals valerie’s hand while the pastor watches and i’m crying and i don’t even know why

cas is so good

i love cas so much

-

this is gonna give a bunch of these characters weird ptsd

they have injury trauma but no injury and nobody’s gonna believe them

-

03:37pm

cas: “in case i don’t make it back, there’s something you--”

me: OH????

cas: “--and sam need to know”

me: oh.

:/

-

10/10

i really liked this one

cas and jack’s story especially. my heart was warmed by it, and i’m so RELIEVED by their honesty. it really stood out to me that jack decided to open up to cas, and cas, i assume, tells dean at the end of the episode. 

i am really really hoping this is the snowball rolling down the hill towards actual genuine growth for all of them, wherein they don’t keep things from each other the way they have been doing for way too long.

maybe the one thing chuck never counted on is the winchesters not lying to each other.

<3

[sweetbitterimpossiblecreature]

you know what pisses me the fuck off? like, lots of things.  but this especially.

those a/b/o fics where one of them is an omega and the other is an alpha, and let’s say the omega is working retails and the alpha comes up- and the alpha flirts with the omega and the omega’s like “not interested” and the alpha KEEPS GOING even though it’s clear that the omega is, again NOT INTERESTED.  

and the omega’s all annoyed but then as the weeks go by it turns out the omega was “wrong” and the alpha’s actually a “really nice guy” who “cares about his family” and is smart or whatever.  and they get together.

i don’t give a FUCK if alpha cares about his family.  flirting when the person on the other end is not only not interested but also working, thus perpetuating an unequal customer/employee dynamic bc the omega CANNOT GET AWAY is A) wrong and B) disrespectful and C) A SUPER DICK MOVE.  

it romanticizes sexual harassment.  it adds to the misconception that women, or, in this case, “omegas” OWE men or “alphas” something- their time, their feelings, their body.   

and i hate it that it’s always portrayed as the omega being “stubborn”. giving me “tell me more tell me more did she put up a fight” vibes a la Grease, and like- no.

if we’re ranting about a/b/o verse, can we also rant about how it’s such a blatant way to promote sexism? because you can say stuff like “oh omegas sit at home and do embroidery and blush and are really little” it’s just like “biology”, not “sexism” or “misogyny”.

additionally, it’s a way to fetishise mlm by promoting heterocentric sterotypes like having the “girl” and the “boy” of the relationship. now, i’m a queer woman and i write mlm.  i am not saying “if you are X you cannot write Y”.  i, however, am exceedingly careful when writing mlm, following guidelines i’ve read by queer men.  (google “how to write mlm respectfully”).

seriously.  “omegas” A) have their genitalia slicken when aroused, B) are thought to be feminine and wear frilly clothing and C) are the “bottom” of the relationship.  what does this sound like? hmm, it sounds like a way to make one half of a gay couple adhere to the blatantly homophobic trope of a “girl” in the relationship, not only making one super feminine but ALSO making the SEX hetero as well, reducing the need for prep and just overall turning it into something super heterosexual.

now, i’ve read good a/b/o, and there was a time when i really LIKED a/b/o.  not all a/b/o is bad.  not all a/b/o is misogynistic, heterocentric, or homophobic.  whoknows on ao3 writes pretty nonproblematic a/b/o fics.  this hp teddy/james fic is also pretty decent a/b/o. this alec/jace fic from the TMI series is also decent. this is a tomarry hp fic- it’s actually het - that has pretty good nonproblematic abo smut. this fic from the folk of the air series by holly black is pretty kickass as well.

 i’ve also read good alpha/alpha and omega/omega fics. 

so not all A/B/O is “bad”, per se.  but a good chunk of it is problematic.

[thenakedgingerwrites]

The Hypno Channel

It was a long shot and a pretty stupid plan, but since it required such little setup I figured, ‘why not?’

I had Ben over for the Saturday game. Many beers and nachos later, our team won and we were both having a blast. The rest of the gang had been busy so the night was going to be just the two of us. We thought about going out but decided to stay in and maybe call it an early night.

As Ben went outside for a smoke (which I still don’t like), I brought up Netflix. We planned to just have something on in the background while we played cards so I pulled up the documentary on hypnosis. I had already watched it a few nights ago which triggered this idea. See, early on in the documentary a guy goes through the motions of hypnotizing the viewer. It didn’t work on me, but some of the reviews said it had for a few folks.

So, plan A would be Ben watches this with me and is one of the lucky minority. Plan B was going to take some acting…

I should probably mentioned a bit about Ben. He’s straight and one of my best friends. He’s thick in all the right ways without being fat, gorgeous face, full beard, and a personality of a fucking saint. If his body didn’t make me swoon, his heart would have. The ‘straight’ thing gets in the way of that though.

Many times he would tell me that, “If I were gay, I’d totally marry you.” Which is nice and awful. Also, strange as it is for how long we’ve been friends, I’d never even seen him naked unlike most of my other friends who’ve all stripped to some degree in the past. A few different occasions we’d play strip poker but Ben never lost.

Anyway, while I didn’t expect anything crazy to happen tonight, if there was even a chance it’d end with me finally being able to see what was under his pants that would suffice me for years of masturbation material.

Here’s to hoping.

I put on the video and started to watch it while I waited for Ben to finish. When he came back in he asked what I decided to put on while he shuffled some cards.

“It’s a documentary on hypnosis. Netflix recommended it and I figured it would be calm background noise.”

“Oh cool. Never heard of it.”

“It didn’t have great reviews.” I laugh a bit. “But, it does apparently have a hypnosis part in it where the narrator tries to put you under.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Doesn’t seem like it works on most people though, so the reviews say at least.”

“Sounds like BS.” Ben said.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I might give it a try when it comes up though, just to see.”

“If it works I’m making you cluck like a chicken!” Ben imitated a rooster shriek.

“Haha. Fine. If it works on you I’m going to make you quit smoking!”

Ben raises his eyebrows at the thought. “I actually wouldn’t mind that.”

“You know, you could just quit without hypnosis.”

He scoffed, “yeah, addition is that easy to quit. That’s why no one’s addicted to anything.”

“Fine, fine. Well I’m kind of hoping it works then.”

“Me too…”

We watched the show for a few minutes but they were just talking about the history of hypnosis for now. I knew the part I wanted didn’t happen for at least 20 minutes. We decided to play a couple rounds of cards while it played.

I had actually been doing pretty good at poker and mentally wagered that if we had been playing Strip Poker Ben would have finally lost! Maybe another time…

The narrator starts to explain that he’s going to try to hypnotize you, the viewer. I didn’t want to seem too eager so I waited for Ben to catch notice of it, which thankfully, he did.

“Oh, hey. Here’s the hypnosis part.”

Ben put down his cards and grabbed his beer. I did the same and looked back to the screen.

The narrator began to explain things, “Now, you have a better understanding of how hypnosis works but I find it’s best to see first hand how it’s done. I’m going to describe a scene and I want you to visualize it as strongly as you can in your mind. Build every detail and make it a reality of your own imagination. If you focus hard enough on my words, you should be able to go into a very deep and suggestive state.”

“I’m nervous.” I say. Ben responds, “I’m actually kind of excited.”

The narrator continued. “Once your under, I’ll provide some generic suggestions to find better inner peace. Trying to be more organized in your life, letting go of the little things, et cetera. Let me be clear that I cannot make you do anything you wouldn’t want to do yourself if not for personal, arbitrary hurdles.”

“Ha!” I say. “No chicken noises from me!”

“Unless you secretly have always wanted to be a chicken!”

I roll my eyes, “Well we’ll see if you actually want to quit smoking or not, now won’t we.”

“I do, honest!” Ben, squints his eyes a bit when he thinks. “Actually, what happens if we both go under? Won’t he take us out of the trance before we can tell the other what to do?”

“Good point. I hadn’t thought of that…” Mainly because I knew that it wouldn’t work on me. “I guess if it does, we could rewatch it but one person covers their ears? I said it didn’t work on many people so I don’t think that’ll be an issue.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Oh, he’s starting!”

The narrator started to describe a beach scene, which I’d heard all before. Instead of visualizing the beach I tried to look at Ben with my peripheral vision. If the hypnosis worked on him, I’d have to pause the video after this part and try my hand at suggestion. If it didn’t, my plan was to make him think it worked on me. From there, who knows what would happen.

As the narrator continued with the scene, Ben was definitely concentrating. His eyes were squinting and he was staring at the TV, but I couldn’t tell if it was actually working or not.

Finally, when the scene was finished and the narrator started to give queues on how the viewer should start relaxing more, and saying thank you more, and enjoying life more, Ben spoke up.

“I guess it is bologna.”

Well shit. Okay, Plan B. I continued to stare at the TV and ignore Ben’s statement.

“Hey, you ‘there’?”

Still nothing from me. I wasn’t an actor by any means but sitting still and staring at a TV was a pretty easy role.

“I know you’re fucking with me.” Does he? Or is that just what anyone would say in this situation. I continued to ignore him. Ben got up from his chair but I couldn’t turn to watch what he was doing while staying in character. Suddenly the documentary was muted, close to the time where the guy was about to bring the viewer back to reality.

Ben came back and sat his chair in front of mine.

“Can you hear me?”

Okay, now the real acting begins. “Yes.” I tried to not sound like a zombie which I’ve seen some stereotypical hypnosis crap that goes too far with it. Instead I just acted calm and relaxed. Like I was getting a massage with his words.

“Are you hypnotized?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t think so.” Would I have been aware of my own hypnosis if I were?

“Hmm. Bark like a dog.”

Really, Ben? The narrator made it very clear that I wouldn’t do things I didn’t want to do. How do I steer him towards the right answer?

“I don’t want to.” I said back to him.

“Ugh. Are you fucking with me, man?”

“I don’t think so.” I say back.

I can see his wheels turning, trying to figure out how to see if I’m really hypnotized but coming up blank.

“How do you feel?” He finally asks.

Okay, I can work with this. Let’s see…

“Relaxed. A little warm.”

“Warm, huh?”

Come’on! Take the bait, Ben!

He mulls it over. We’re at my house, just us, so there’s really no risk here Ben.

“Take off your pants then.”

“Wha..” I catch myself. I honestly was expecting my shirt as the toe-in-the-water move but he skipped some steps and it caught me off guard. Quickly, I realize he’s testing me. My shirt might have been too easy. Although, still. You start here?

“You said you’re warm. Taking off your pants would help cool you down.”

I’m looking at him and he has a devilish grin. It’s totally a test. Well fuck you Ben. I’m going to win this game one way or another.

I stand up. “You’re right. It would.” I try to keep a calm in my voice even though I’m excited and nervous. Unbuckling my belt was easy and I just as quick popped the four buttons on my jeans and shimmied them down my legs. I stepped out of them, kicked them to the side of the living room, and sit back down.

“Better?” Ben asks timidly.

“I think so.”

I can’t just answer yes or else where would he go with this. Sitting there in my boxer briefs and t-shirt probably would have made me a teeny chilly but my blood is pumping so fast. The heat from the moment is rising to my face and I can tell it’s about to run somewhere else if I don’t pull it together.

“Well you could always lose the shorts too.”

Here we go.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I reply. I’m supposed to be more liberated and suggestible but not a zombie. I figured I can’t give my underwear up so easily.

“Why not?”

“Well, you’re here. I haven’t been naked in front of you before.”

“But you’ve thought about it, right?”

Shit, now we’re adding truths into these dares? Well, honesty’s the best policy.

“Yes.”

“How often?” 

“How often have I thought about being naked in front of you?”

“Yeah. Do you think about that a lot?”

“Probably once a week or so,” I sheepishly reply.

Ben laughs. “Once a week?! I know you think I’m hot but we need to find you a boyfriend.”

I just sit there awkwardly. I’m not sure what I should do next.

“Well now’s your chance. I don’t mind. Get comfortable.”

“Are you sure?” I ask.

Ben sits back on the chair near me, reclines, and raises his hands behind his head. “Positive.”

Standing up again, I know I can’t hesitate. It��s like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff. I want to peer over, to second guess myself, but any hesitation may give up my act and I want to see where this ends.

With a quick, surgical motion I push my briefs down to the floor where they pool at my ankles. I fight the urge to cover myself as Ben stares at my cock. It’s barely hard, hanging limp at probably 4 inches.

Ben had never seen my penis before now. I’d seen his butt a couple times when he’s mooned the guys as a joke and caught most of his pubes one night when his shorts sagged too much, but he’s never seen anything on my that I can remember. And now here he is, staring at my exposed cock just a few feet from him.

I sit back down but keep my legs spread to reiterate how comfortable I am now. I decide to sigh to clear the silence and reaffirm that.

“Hmm. This feels good.” I say.

Ben clears his throat and looks up at me. I can tell he’s working out the odds. He’s wondering if I just showed him my cock as a joke, to try and catch him doing something he shouldn’t or if I really am under some sort of spell. Then again, if I was just trying to catch him doing something gay he already got me naked. I guess he could say he was just doing that to test my limits though.

Again, he just stares into my eyes, then to my cock, then to my eyes. “Are you fucking with me?” he finally asks.

“No, why?”

I can see his eyebrows furrow as he directs his eyes at my cock. I pretend to not pick up on the gesture and he leans his head back like he can’t believe this.

He finally stands up and walks over towards me. My heart’s going a mile a minute when he reaches out to me, and grabs the remote. He rewinds the documentary back to where the hypnotist starts attempting to put the audience under.

“Watch this.” He tells me.

I obey, and rewatch the segment. I’m not sure what he had in mind but I decided to assume he thought watching it again would put me deeper under or something. Hedging on that bet, I begin to act more lethargic and bit more zombie like. It’s actually easier to act that way then just calm believe it or not.

Once the hypnotist gets to the commands, Ben mutes it and makes up some of his own rules.

“Can you hear me?”

“Yes.” I say, super monotone.

“You are hypnotized.” Kinda breaking the 4th wall there, Benny. “You are feeling very compliant and will do whatever people tell you to do, whether you want to or not.”

“I will.”

“Now bark.”

I bark.

“Take off your shirt.”

I do.

I’m sitting there now, completely naked, with Ben standing over me. I’ve since chubbed up a bit but still probably only 5 inches, not my full 7.

“Fuck this…” Ben says under his breath.

I can tell he’s really struggling with his decisions. It didn’t occur to me that he’s probably not weighing the chance that this is a rouse but instead the consequence of what he’s thinking of doing to me. If only I could tell him nothing was off limits.

“Unbutton my pants.”

My eyes definitely widened. I looked up to him but thank God he’s looking up at the ceiling, like he can’t look at me do what he just told me to do.

I don’t want him to retract it though so like the good little, naked zombie I am, I reach for his jeans. Ben’s not wearing a belt so I simply unbutton the first button. His jeans have a zipper and I decide to be literal with his command and stop. Sitting there obediently.

“Fuck. Take my jeans off.”

Thank you. I reach back for his zipper and pull it down slowly. His jeans are a bit baggy even though he’s more built than I am, so they fall to the floor. His boxer briefs are gray, and boring. Probably from a Hanes pack or something. However, they’re not baggy and I get my first good look at Ben’s bulge.

It’s huge, in my opinion. It’s hard to make out what’s cock and what’s balls but it’s hefty.

I instinctively lick my lips but Ben must have looked back down to me. “You want that, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“How bad?”

“More than anything.”

“Sniff it.”

Oh you kinky bitch. I lean in towards his package and take a whiff. He’s not super sweaty but the musk is undeniably incredible. In an instant I’m hard and my cock is bobbing between my legs. Ben notices.

“I guess you really do want it.”

I risk a bit but couldn’t help myself. When I take my next whiff I lightly press my nose against his cock bulge. My God I could cum right now.

“Do you want to see my dick?”

“Yes, Ben.”

“Take off my underwear.”

[littlestr]

I was tagged by @stardewvgf thank you so much!! <3  Rules: Answer 17 questions and tag 17 people.

Nicknames: A LOT, my dad has the weirdest nicknames, anything from Mimmi and Mini-Hopp (not that weird) to “Tulti Katapulti” which doesn’t even mean anything shkjsdhkjsd I love him I’d say Mimmi, Mini, Mini-Hopp, Bunny, Bean, R, Princess, and Dogs are pretty common, and my aunts call me “lemming” now after I told them about a friend of mine ( @nemodes ) sending me this and saying it was me... https://mobile.twitter.com/naturaltings/status/1253817047303282689

Zodiac: Capricorn, which, I think, means I’m gay

Height:

153.5 cm, or 5 feet for ya’ll “”Amer-i-cans””

Hogwarts house

Hufflepuff I think

Last thing I googled

“wench meaning” and before that “ahogay”

Song stuck in my head

Right now, the Addams Family intro and the song “My Family” that played during the new animated Addams Family movie

Amount of sleep

Hmm about 7-10 hours I’d say

Lucky numbers

9 and 4, because I made those numbers into "”gal pals”” when I was younger

Dream job

Consort of a powerful, hot Demon Queen

Wearing

A flowery dress and flowery shorts, both colorful, and with big flower patterns. I like colors and flowers

Favourite instrument

I have no idea, I like playing drums, but um maybe piano? (gives strong fingers...) Whatever’s gay

Aesthetic

Lots of colors and flowers, mostly, like my clothes

Favourite song

I have so many I cannot choose one, but anything Idina Menzel sings with Emotion™ give me a lot of Emotions™ so I guess that

Favourite authors

I have no idea

Favourite animal sound

Ooohh anything cute! Like Meows, meeps, squeeks, twittering, yips, any happy sound too

Random Did you know geese have like teeth in their beaks? That’s kinda fucked up, man. Also I had to fight a seagull for my cheeseburger a while back, and I did, in my book, win.  I’m tagging some folks but anyone, feel free to do this if you want @nemodes @jessibbb @oh-theatre @ankle-beez @justchillininthecorner @omgsomeonesomewhereonearth @manyfandomsonelog @i-hate-liking-batman @demmcounterfeitbandits @marshmallowmachinegun @anntypical @patton-birdie @leonarthoe-davinci @angelicgarnet @ai-no-senshi99 @izzyfandoms @sevencrashing @what-hooty-heard

[enerjem]

My thoughts while listening to evermore

Willow

Had to watch on phone :/

Got it on pc

Like it so far

Love it

It is catchy

I love it omg

Champagne Problems

About breaking up with someone before they propose :’(((

Omg

So sad

William bowery

Gold Rush

About an attractive person

Folklore

Yearning

‘Tis the damn season

‘Tis used to be my favorite word

About getting with someone from high school but only during the holidays

Road not taken = staying in hometown instead of LA

Tolerate it

Reminds me of the archer

Oof sounds like a one sided relationship

Cheating

Toxic relationship

Reminds me of a prequel to better man

No body, no crime

Will be horrible for the car

Country

Or folk

This is so great

So far album seem like a great one to listen to while playing TLOU2

MURDER

Even better than folklore so far :O

She’s going to murder the guy

Definitely folk I think?

Happiness

Prepare for not happiness

About divorce

Seven years and above the trees is 100% a reference to seven

Not a huge fan on the first listen, but we’ll see later

Dorothea

Seems fun

Is the tiny screen a phone or a tv? Hmm

Reminds me of ‘tis the damn season

Kinda gay

Okay no ‘male perspective’ and sounds like a love song to me? P gay

Coney island

Sounds like a break up song

His voice is so deep

Kind of like it, but needs to grow on me

Ivy

Interesting

Arranged marriage but in love with someone else?

Illicit affairs

Abusive husband

Fun music, lyrics not quite as fun

Cowboy like me

Man voice

I don’t get it

They got married

Both “cowboys”

Marcus Mumford

Long story short

Sounds kinda good

Sweet so far

Evermore

This is so sweet

Marjorie

Home photos and pictures

This is sad

I’m going to cry

Marjorie finlay backing vocals

Closure

“Cut deep.. To the bone” cruel summer?

Is good

Evermore

Was slow but sped up

I do not understand what this is about

William bowery piano; interesting

Final thoughts

I like it; maybe better than folklore

Look forward to the other 2 songs