#hm/musings
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miss harding...... 💍<33333
#harding my model my muse my beloved#i am in LOVE with her freckles#trying to figure out a style that is simple but not too simple haha (like a level up from a simple sketch hm)#lace harding#scout harding#dragon age inquisition#dragon age the veilguard#dai#datv#da4#dragon age fanart#da fanart#digital art#my art#bishiart
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THEORY!!
i have had this theory for a while now , but i feel like MO is based on the sleeping beauty. how so? 1.) Mychael's three hens parallels with the three faeries in the sleeping beauty 2.) Menu screen theme but thats more obvious lolol 3.) The princess in the sleeping beauty was cursed to prick her finger on a spindle's needle , when it was time for the curse to take it's action she was almost in a state of hypnosis[?] and walked up to the spindle wheel to prick her needle. NOW mc in MO is sort of hypnotized too because we see on day 3 how mc [sort of] willingly walked upto a mushroom ring [if your choices lead to that] and attempts to touch it. i think i've connected the dots..... /silly 4.) this might be a little farfetched but mychael watches us sleep.... sleep... sleeping.... sleeping beauty,,,,, honk mimimimi.... 5.) Maleficent cursed aurora because she was considered an 'outsider' and wasn't invited and welcomed to the grand celebration. guess who else is the 'outsider' [sort of]? MYCHAEL!! humans do not welcome him well! 6.) the forest themes... yummy.... i loved the aurora living in a cabin in woods parts of the movie... who else lives in a cabin in woods? you guessed it!! mychael!! 7.) my memory is hazy but i think one of hen's name is a direct reference to the sleeping beauty... primrose was aurora's name when she had to hide her identity as a civilian. thats what i think so far... i might've not worded some of it correctly but i hope this made sense! i really really reallyyyyyyy enjoy MO<3 thank you for sharing this piece of art with us :DDD have a lovely day i hope this ask finds you and doesn't get consumed by tumblr algorithm TnT <333
,,,I'm actually stunned speechless because hey? I kinda see it,,,?
I can debunk it wasn't based on Sleeping Beauty but I commend you for connecting dots I didn't even realize I'd made haha! It's just incredible coincidence you were able to find pretty decent comparisons here.
I don't usually add much to theory posts because that's the fun of theorizing but enjoy me yapping below if you'd like!
Of everything above, the only thing I can confirm is
4.) this might be a little farfetched but mychael watches us sleep…. sleep… sleeping…. sleeping beauty,,,,, honk mimimimi….
is exactly what I was going for; since Mychael did indeed discover you while you were sleeping (ironically the one point you thought was farfetched haha) and that's what made me choose the main menu theme!
The reason it happened to be a music box version of Once Upon A Dream is because (get ready for Cheea lore here) I played an OFF fan-game titled UNKNOWN as a teen, and in it was a music box version of A Cruel Angel Thesis; it changed my brain chemistry about music box covers ever since. (I don't even watch the anime 😭!)
In fact, I almost used the music box version of Waltz in E-Major, Op. 15 Moon Waltz by Cojum Dip in Astronought's ending scene!
It's also a major part of the reason I gave Mychael a kalimba! I recommend looking up music box covers of songs you know if you enjoy the sound!! <3
Everything else was a coincidence!
Also just an extra tidbit for people who read this: when I was deciding Mychael's favorite Disney movie, it made me think how much he'd want to be Prince Phillip, (I mean genuinely the movie was never about Aurora it was about the fairies lmaoo but I digress) especially after the finale with him defeating Maleficent with the fairies' help.
He'd never consider himself a princely hero but he wishes he could be. And something about meeting your soulmate in the woods by accident really spoke to him.
#mushroom oasis vn#mushroom musings#adding prince phillip to his kin list next to shrek /silly#this was a fun little surprise ngl#at first i was like nah but then i was like hm actually...#like that woman trying kombucha meme...#thank you for the fun read!#cheea chatter#bts
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idk but to me something so quintessential about timothy drake is that he is your average american teenage boy and as your average teenage american boy he is viscerally and desperately terrified of loneliness. the way he latched on to every single aspect of dick's life in an attempt to be close to someone who showed him kindness as a child, the way he'll lower his distinctly bruce-wayne-shaped walls to let in young justice because once his friends know him they won't leave him, hell the way he somehow keeps up his friendship with ives despite all the times he's dropped off the radar. something about this child is such an achingly yearning beast which adores company that he rips through typical fantastical comic book angst and falls straight back into the behavior of My New Neighbor The Average American Teenage Boy in a way i don't think i consciously realized until recently
#guess who got a new neighbor family. guess whose neighbor family includes an Average American Teenage Boy. he is quite peculiar#hm. just musing. anyway#tim drake#red robin#robin#dc
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It seems like Unsha is.... fairly tame? At least compared the horrendous feats of Urak and Heperu. He almost seems more grounded compared to them? Unlike Urak and Heperu, who are obssessed with winning to the point of trying over and over again, Unsha accepts his loss gracefully and moves forward with other things.
Ivan was a gift to Unsha's wife for her birthday. He chose children based off of their potential, and when Ivan showed the most promise he gave him full investment. Instead of forcing out Ivan's talent through more heavily abusive means (nurturing, it seems to be called), he brings Ivan to success through sponsorships, methodical marketing and exposure. Unsha considers the things he learned from being with Ivan and takes interest in what Ivan's thoughts might have been before death. He says that despite everything, Ivan was worth the investment and worth the loss.
I'm not trying to say that Unsha was a "good parent", he was neglectful to Ivan's personal needs and worked him relentlessly among other things. There definitely could have been more diabolical actions that haven't been revealed yet. He undoubtedly viewed Ivan as a product that he needed to sell (a businessman in all areas), but it's just interesting to note his differences and train of thought. Much to think about.
#also the fact that he chose ivan because he saw something in his eyes. he was chosen out of love for his wife. February 14#NOT TRYING TO DOWNPLAY unsha was still a pretty ass “parent”. its just. mildly suprising#hm#alnst#alien stage#alnst ivan#alien stage ivan#guardian unsha#once again i repeat im not trying to soften all of unshas other forms of abuse okay#just musing out loud
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*tongue click* well apparently I may not have to make a whole new quiz for the "same quiz, just make it multiple choice" option. That's just something I can toggle in the quiz I already made!! Maybe...maybe I'll just do that. See how that goes sjdnjfn
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I have to use AI for one assignment this year but I feel like such a technophobe being the only anti AI person in my cohort
#macks musings#they're like using it for translation and to come up with ideas and to summarise things etc#and they're like yeah but you have to be careful about hallucinations and we don't actually know how it actually works#and I'm like hm so if you can't trust the output and no one knows where it's getting its data from....#why can't you just use your brain to think?#phdblr#gradblr
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It may not be a grappling hook but frying pans have violent potential all on their own, frankly

#gf tangled au#eggin creatin'#mabel pines#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#she deserves a bludgeoning weapon. as a treat#something's a lil different with these last two pictures of Mabel and I'm not sure what#something about the face#like the eyes are shaped or sized differently#and I know I'm drawing her a bit older but still#can't say I dislike it there's something huggable about it I think#but anyway#hm yes musings#I just realized she's holding the frying pan backwards#girl boutta smash a whole crevice into someone's face with that rim
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Got a tag on my post about how Makoto becoming principal in dr3 is in character that argues that while it is in character, it’s not in character for the themes of the franchise as a whole and is a rather surface read of the ideas. This rubs me the wrong way as first of all Kodaka was involved, he was the supervisor of the project, Makoto becoming principal would have fallen under his decision. As well as the fact it carries onto v3 so dismissing it as a failure to understand the themes is just incorrect. Kodaka knows his themes for his own series.
Danganronpa always has had a theme of circular violence, trauma repeats when one doesn’t take the time to truly heal for it. Whether it be Mondo killing Chihiro, the Warriors of Hope’s everything, the constant use of amnesia as a plot point, the final chapter twist of v3. The circular nature of unhealed trauma and despair is very much a theme. Not repeating cycles is something portrayed as not easy and taking a lot of strength even back in the first game, it’s not easy to end the killing game, to finally truly bow away from the game and it’s sadism and find a new path.
The recreation of Hope’s Peak falls fully in line with the themes of abuse, manipulation, and dependency around Hope’s Peak we see time and time again in the story, the fact that it isn’t so easily stamped out, was always present. Future Foundation’s focus on talent is even shown in goodbye despair emails we see and how they treated the remnants before they realized they were remnants. The lack of respect for Makoto is also shown in said emails. Nothing about future foundation we really learn in dr3 goes against this.
If anything Hope’s Peak staying gone would have been a bigger betrayal of the themes of how structural injustice is a constant problem. See everything about Ishimaru’s FTEs and his hatred of the word genius and the idea of talent. While some of Hope’s Peaks actions get criticized, the characters struggle to see the full picture of the school itself being an issue because everyone trusted and loved the school.
Things get shoved onto Junko, or dismissed as a personal issue of one group or person and not an inborn issue because Hope’s Peak has always kept at least the image of perfection and privilege to the world, and after another killing game, where he almost lost Kirigiri, almost killed himself, and had to witness nearly everyone else in future foundation die, raw and guilty snd unhealed, it makes full sense for the themes of the story that he gravitates back towards Hope’s Peak, the source of it all, and rebuilds it, starting the cycle up again because he was never allowed to heal from it and thus familiar and stable.
In DR3 we learn fully well just how unhealed Makoto is, he’s a very haunted person constantly being pushed to extremes for survival and constantly as all times being reminded of how he’s supposed to be the Hope. Him recreating the school of his trauma is extremely in line with how the circular violence is shown to us. Especially if we take in v3s story and show how it resulted in yet another killing game farther down the line, with Makoto being placed in the same position Jin was in the videos, asking his students to leave everyone and everything they ever knew forever for the chance of survival and hope for everyone through the arc, with them too going through the same kind of memory erasure as Makoto did when they find out it was never that simple and death was already inside. I am aware the it’s all fiction makes this kinda confusing but I’m focusing more on the story tsumugi was telling before it fully broke down and how it relates into danganronpa’s themes
Makoto’s optimism is a point of contrast to the darkness that both shows why he could become Hope but why he also fails to grasp how fucked up everything was from the start. It’s to be taken side by side with the truth of the school from the audience, purposeful contrast, not a denial of the darkness. He is the innocent bystander, the fool card, he simply does not see, and in turn, cannot call out what is hiding in plain sight
Dr3 just has more focus on Hope’s Peak to the audience. The cruelty of the system and the fact Makoto rebuilds it are taken side by side in DR3, but whenever Makoto is in scenes or Hope’s Peak, he’s sheltered, his eyes turned away from the darkness. Even when others attempt to force him to see, his luck or someone else swoops in to protect him from it. Makoto is actively protected by the plot from being allowed to see the themes of cruelty and hate that permeates the system. He is very much kept purposefully blind by the story, because his thematic role is as an embodiment of Hope’s Peak, not an opponent of it.
He’s the golden boy, the shining example, the propaganda piece. His role in the narrative is to not challenge Hope’s Peak, but be the representative of everything Hope’s Peak is supposed to be but never really is. He is the onlooker who sees the gold and sparkle and shine and doesn’t see the bodies behind the curtain, the average joe success story of the lucky draw. He is what’s good about the system, because there is some good in it. The talent system can uplift those in poverty, it can give resources and respect to those who genuinely can use those to do good in the world. Everything good about the talent system is reflected in Makoto to some degree. He uplifts, he gives resources, he protects, he speaks of a better world, he wants to use talent and hope as a force to give people strength and something they can stabilize on /rally around. Makoto is the good of Hope’s Peak.
Makoto recreating the school was practically destined to happen for Makoto with how heavily his Hope talent gets tied up in the school. Makoto never has a reason to question Talent outside of thinking Luck is kinda lame, he has no reason to not try and bring Hope back through what he sees as the symbol of hope.
While Izuru talks to Komaeda about how he was taught and the audience learns that, it’s not information Makoto gets, I’m pretty sure Makoto doesn’t even know the extent of Izuru’s everything until Junko tells him. Makoto simply is in too privileged a position with an inability to be allowed to process his trauma healthily or seek outside voices to his echo chamber, something likely intentional to the themes of the corruption of the idea of Hope, Makoto is pretty intentionally never ever put into a position where he rejects Hope’s Peak or is allowed to actually examine what Hope means because people keep trying to use or kill him, often at the same time.
It’s thematic irony, not a failure to understand the themes. Hope’s Peak cannot be uprooted by someone who was kept away from its darkness. Makoto drinks the kool aid too hard to be the destruction of talent. To him, it simply is how the world works, and he never has a reason to doubt that. Again, how he interacts with Ishimaru in his FTEs. Especially with how Makoto’s response to insecurity and trauma is deeply avoidant, looking Hope’s Peak in the eye and calling it out for what it’s done simply isn’t in his nature. If he has a problem, he will simply throw himself into a project to not think about it.
Makoto and his group of survivors never could have been the ones to challenge Hope’s Peak, too ingrained, too benefited by the status quo, too martyred and traumatized, too sheltered from the darkness, too lacking perspective and options, too deep to question if talent is truly an inherent thing. It would break the story if someone like Togami suddenly was like “actually talent bad.” It’s just not a group built for that part of the story
Calling out an ingrained structural issue with society is very very different then calling out a blackened in a class trial. As one takes deep contemplation and reflection to understand how you and everyone around you is subtly impacted and influenced, the other is a situation where you can ignore yourself and throw yourself into it without letting yourself remember the stakes.
Shuichi was a much better fit for rejecting hopes peak by the end of v3. He was someone burned by his talent so heavily, who seemed to genuinely view his talent as making his life worse. Who watched as talent was never fully a positive thing for anyone around him. Like just Maki’s existence with such a fucked up talent of forced cult assassin makes his group be prime to point out the flaws of the system and reject it. Shuichi was never sheltered, even when he really should have been. Shuichi was primed to see nothing but the darkness destroying him, with his character arc being about finding his ability to still keep moving despite that darkness and fight against the idea that the darkness was his fault or inherent, and instead fight for the right for no one to ever go through it again.
#meta#oh this got#long#hm#ndrv3#makoto naegi#danganronpa#goodbye despair#trigger happy havoc#musings from the music manager#danganronpa 2#danganronpa v3#shuichi saihara#Hope’s peak#danganronpa 3
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The Anthology.
My HMSonas! I’m not really sure how to start with articulating their lore storyline-wise, but here’s some character info for now. Also PLEASE feel free to send asks or prompt discussion [as long as it’s not like literally psychoanalyzing me lmbo) and the sort I’d love to share [: ]]
The Heart: Harp. A being of stagnation, but consistency. They have held the hands of the host and led them along for years; that repetition has led Harp to undermine the true level of agony they and the other thirds have experienced. The normalization of pain makes it difficult for them to verbalize it, whether current or remnants. Comfortable, but overwhelming.
The Mind: Muse. A being of unpredictability, but potential. They not only keep the host moving forward, but allow them to reach greatness; they work impressively hard at the cost of neither taking breaks nor giving perceived failures grace. They thrive in self-directed apathy, and are an easy victim of sunk cost fallacy and perfectionism. Motivating, but exhausting.
The Soul: Zinn. A being of contradiction. Full of hope, and a source of relapse. Suffering through constant inner turmoil as they grieve the past self that was ignored and berated, while going silent as the current thirds suffer. Desperate to move forward and consistently love themself{/selves}, but the draw of enmity is such a tempting call as synapses fall ill again and again. They find it easier to be kind to the others while in a state of depersonalization {they would never treat another the way they treat themself}.
D3ar: Also known as c!Dear. Characterized for lore, not to be confused with my other oc Dear. A personification of mental illness, and self deprecating/hurtful ideation. They are not their own person, if you can call it a person at all. Not something to be sympathized with, but it is not inherently malicious; it exists to fulfill a psychological niche, but grew to an overwhelming degree. Exists in a separate segment of the psyche that is isolated from HMZ… at least, they did until Zinn wandered too far, and ended up indefinitely separated from their other thirds. Harp and Muse are not aware of D3ar’s existence, and—initially—Zinn wasn’t either.
#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cccc fanart#hms sonas#Chonny Jash oc#itsnotjustgibberish#the anarchy anthology#cringle jimble from my songs#gibberish ocs#ocs: HMZ#ocs: D3ar#Some of the scrapped palettes for Muse made them REALLY look like Sans and now I can’t get that out of my head when I look at this drawing#Curse of hands in the pockets of a blue hoodie
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ngl zuo ran's writer at 5th year has been hitting ball park after ball park, it was an insanely stable and peak of the peak at some point LOL
#tears of themis#tot#artem wing#zuo ran#just musing....#like woah LOL what the hell is that consistency even i got baffled#that consistency also give me two god card: 2nd solo sss and 5th bday card#hm i also need to knock my friend's dm about those two cards i need someone to ramble on LOL#oh but i will probably post another thing to ramble about zuo ran sweet woven memories sr#there is a section i always think about with relation on zr 2nd solo sss card#“lacie have you ever not think about zr card” yeah the problem is its always at the back of my head#and main story but thats like super given atp#i just love artem 5th year card so much what the hell why is it so good especially because i am insane about artemrosa partnership and#zuo ran's sense of justice and ideal#and the fact they are each other mirror#jskdkdkdl#why am i rambling here i should just do that in my friend dm
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as someone who's not attracted to men, I don't find Bojan attractive either. He is very conventionally handsome, but not personally attractive to me. BUT! I am very attracted to Jere being attracted to Bojan! To me - Bojan is really attractive specifically from Jere's perspective. If I'm looking at the same man, I don't necessarily see the same man - does that make sense? 😂
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think i love bartylus because of the same reasons i love prongsfoot. something something it doesn't matter if its platonic or romantic or a third blurred thing bc they'll always choose each other over anyone else
#except bartylus (canon) is a tad more tragic#bc i do think that regulus would put his family first#but hm#anyways you get what i mean#prongsfoot#bartylus#musings
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Finally completed Dido-class collection!
Bonus*


#azur lane#アズールレーン#dido-class light cruisers#royal navy#hms bellona#hms black prince#hms charybdis#hms dido#hms dido muse#hms hermione#hms scylla#hms sirius#default#character wallpapers#full character skin art
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Happy Vargas Day! Stop saying 100%
They are truly Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde-ing it up around the Institute ♥ The role(s) was made for them!
Doctor meme!Edgar is here to assist! Scriabin is also here, to make quips at Edgar’s expense, equally important
He’s swooning! Catch him! Hold him in your weak noodle big strong arms!
Not an MD. Maybe. The text on his certificate is blurry, it must’ve been printed weirdly. It’s totally legit, don’t bother checking, just trust him
#💟#I have made just this one meme ft. my own art in the whole year since the last anniversary....weh ;;#I did at least have a few Damned!Edgar/Scriabin saved back! Small somethings! The tiniest sketchdump haha#Doodles#Art#Edgar#Scriabin#Sketchdump#They're still plenty on my mind <3 Music has been attacking me of late lol it's still a trial to keep them out of my muse box haha#Holding strong tho >:3c Well outside of extenuating circumstances <3 Seeing them is too much a treat to avoid hehe ♥#I love Scriabin saying silly things to get on his nerves <3 He's not even saying anything any bad! Well the 100% isn't the bad part lol#I love Edgar's put-out face as Scriabin leans against him in that first one ahh <3 Cutest lads#All of Scriabin's annoyances are my favourite as ever ♪ His sadism and spooks ahh#I'm just repeating myself but to repeat myself further: I'd stop if it ever stopped being true#I have plans.......not just for April but also of course for April haha#Further plans.......#Let's see if I get to them :3c#Haven't had a sketchdump proper in a heck-while hm? Or a new playlist part or incorrect quotes or anything been Very quiet......#Well for now ♥ Happy Birthday Vargas <3 <3#As many happy returns of the day! 💕
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wheezing loudly
yesss i need more perfectionist controlling pharma being a little bitch abt the TINIEST of values. y'all get me y'all GET me.
LIKE him complaining about MILIMETERES of all things iS SO FUNNY BECAUSE HOW BIG THEY ARE.
Like that's us getting pissed about A Cell. Oh you're off by a cell in placement. How fucking shitty. You're a disgrace to yourself, medicine, your school, the patient and WORST OF ALL ME.
and like the worst part is that pharma CAN not only measure that fucking small...
But also can make such precise minute fucking adjustments that small. So he's THE. WORST. A BITCH AND ONE WHO CAN BACK IT UP.
BUT, what's stupid as hell is that HE KNOWS deep down that it's fucking negligible. Like oh so what if that weld is not perfectly aligned symmetrically and is the tiniest line between conjunction and neatness? It still works. What if it protrudes a bit? It's okay though because even IF it's large enough to mess with transformation--the patient IS NOT transforming in the next week or so. By the time THEY WILL be discharged, the weld will no longer be there. It's unimportant and not worth the effort, time and energy to always make clean neat weld lines.
But NO. THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Clean welds ALWAYS. NO margins of errors! NEVER. THEY CANNOT EXIST because PERFECTION FROM THE GET GO removes the NEED for them!!!
Pharma cannot stand mediocrity. It's a little ocpd and A LOT of needing to prove he's the best because he is.
And throw some functionalism in there that he got shit prewar and at the start for being a jet going to medical school?? (Because that shit blends and is slow to leave academia. And you know academia was a vehicle of functionalism--taken over, corrupted and used like a tool...) BUT, adding an outside driver pushing further on his own need to be the best in medical school?? Honestly... I think that’s peak. Because it's him. He's pushy and has shit self worth and has clearly ocpd. But that could be manageable given any other environment, but we're talking about medical school and the field here. So it would be worse via stress. Because it gets left untreated.
Because it was always there, his perfectionism, but it was helped along. Became an obsession, a constant state of need. Of processing. He views the world as an active fight against mediocrity. And he's the perfect warrior that will overcome it. It cloys his entire existence.
He needs to. Because otherwise they'd be right. They'd be right he doesn’t belong. They'd be right, all of them, the voices--inside and out--that he's... That he's mediocre. Not worthy. Not as good as he think he is.
And was he Ratchet's friend because he needed to surround himself with the best, to PROVE to others he's also the best? Did he attach himself to Ratchet because he wanted to emulate Ratchet so badly and wanted to be near him constantly to do so? And did they end up genuinely being friends from the get go or as the result of sticking around and learning about each other? (Or did Pharma manufacture it all? Their closeness? Maybe not all, but a little...) It is the messy combinations of all the above that life is often?
Did he become enamored with this cocky ass ambulance who winks his way knowingly when they're the top students yet again with matching 100s on the latest exam? The exam of SEVERAL that the professors stated NO ONE gets 100% on and stared straight at Pharma smugly in the class as that was announced? Because surely, this time Pharma WILL slip. He WILL prove he's as mediocre as the rest of the students--but it never happens. And Ratchet, irritatingly, is right there with him. Did it orginally piss Pharma off--he was supposed to SHINE to STAND OUT and here he is sharing the spotlight? Much less with the ambulance who shows up drunk to class and still manages to answer all the pointed questions correctly with a drunken slur and irritatingly precise, controlled wave of his servos? It had to have pissed him off. This drunk party ambulance is his equal. That can't fucking be right.
Did they both start out as being eachothers rivals in medical school where they constantly had to out do the other? Taking on more ridiculous cases with self put on restraints to show off so ridiculously? Doing spark bypasses with one servo. Three way fuel pump transplant (one which Pharma will FINALLY up thousands of years later at Delphi with his 4 way AND being a donor. TAKE THAT RATCHET.
(now i wonder is it a specific one that is 4 way or is it a weird swap meet thing going on... hm. too tired to care.)
How about them both going further into the material and bringing up experimentals and cases gone wrong to prove they're the best? To out do each other on being insufferable know-it-alls in class to the delight and horror of some professors (and all horror to the other students)... To prove in one swoop they're not only the best in class, but ready to go beyond the class. They're not only 100%, they're 110% the best. Everyone else is fucking up charts and here they are finding procedural errors in surgeries gone wrong--all on their own--and being right.
And how about the fact Pharma is the best with Ratchet? They've always been the best together. Even when Ratchet flitted off and did his side hobby that was the dead end clinic, they'd still be working together at their main hospital. Because they're... Something. They're something.
They always were something.
Until then they weren't.
While Ratchet was on earth playing doctor with the prime all by himself, Pharma was stuck on a backwater planet all alone with a sea of idiots and medical crisises every other day... But never anything like taking care of the Prime. No, just doing feats of medical genius for some miners and never getting recognized for it. It’s never a note on anyone's mind anymore. It's not a source of contention, not a show off pagent, he does the work and it's just everyday.
And it hurts, not that he'll admit it, all of it. The whole situation goes from hurt and confusion and being untethered to growing sourly into bitterness and that anger of being left like that. Like he meant nothing to him.
And he's stuck on a far away planet that means nothing too. He means nothing to the Autobots too huh? Is he just an accessory for Ratchet then? Something so easy to pick up and leave? Was Pharma just a fucking idiot this entire time-not realizing what their relationship really was? That Pharma needed Ratchet. It was never the other way around. He just let his stupid feelings and need for friendship, his stupid need for those optics he admired so much beyond their calculations and wit--how he started to admire they way they wrinkle in amusement and knowing when they look his way, but it wasn't like that for Ratchet. Never was. Remember? He was supposed to be a vehicle of Pharma's excellence--of proving he was the best.
And maybe--no clearly, Pharma miscalculated. Didn't realize how it ended up that they weren't together the best. No, Pharma was just a hanger-on this entire time. Only recognized when with Ratchet. And when he left? He became the nothing (of value, worth, person, existence) that he always was before. The things that everyone so desperately wanted him to be in medical school and under functionalism.
A footnote.
He just wasn't supposed to be Ratchet's footnote.
But here they are.
anyways... pharma's a hot mess and i wuv him and his hot mess aft,,, god jets and their hang ups amiright, (<--- trying to ignore the psychic damage they did to themselves)
also throw in stress from tarn and being alone to deal with it. and then ALSO the fact that fucking ratchet brings DEADLOCK along as his plus 1 (plus pipes) and they're so...
They remind him of how Ratchet was when they were younger, but also? Not. Somehow not at all.
Ratchet looks at Deadlock in a way that Pharma--for all the years they were together--can tell was what Pharma was always waiting for. That look right there.
And he's got it. He finally gets to see it. But it's at another mech. And a fucking decepticon of all things.
:^] 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
#pharma musings#i should have waited til i published slipping but#BUT it's a introspective pharma piece and i tend not to publish those anyways so does it matter?#and like ngl who is going to read that except hardcore character fans and like if u don't like the ideas n characterization it can hit bad#hm this kind of reads as a fic whoops musing to fic 😬#damn IT idk if i want to clean it up and post it#hm NOO.#this is more like meta#pharma meta sort of#HM#mtmte#ratchma#you: be normal about pharma#me: ... if i was a tf i'd also be a jet
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fun fact about me i never finished even the first part / act of veilguard
#out of spell slots / ooc.#hi my dash here makes me so guilty fdjhgbfdugm#i just…….. ended up finding it boring im sorry#i have full plans to pick it up and finish it eventually but. hm.#anyway hope everyones doing great! im still waiting for patch 8 to revive my gale muse
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