#hjalma

[incorrectquotesfromdnd]

Taiga: I don’t mean to be rude—

Taigo: Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.

[human-antithesis]

Norðsæta gætis, herforingja Ormsins langa

Norðsæta gætis, herforingja Ormsins langa ok vígsburi margs Haddings éls, endi þar líf sitt at sjávar beinum Land-Rǫgnir hvarf at benvargs hreggjum Svǫldrs at ǫldu heimi Wendlanda. Sveinn tjúguskeggr, son Haralds blátǫnn Gorms-sonar, Óláfr sænski, son Eiríks ins sigrsæla ok Einar Hákonarson jarl at Hlǫðum hertóku Óláfs ellifu branda elga með sínum sjátigum ok steyptu vegtaugar jóts grundar tyggi niðr til Ránar dætra. Var sá hergrimmi hjarls dróttinn af úneyttum laufa társ lǫngli drukknan? Dæla dróttins verki at br-jóta aptr ása jaðars andstefni er lokit ok Draupnis dǫggvar hlynr er laus lands ráðanda bræði. Mikill er landstýrandi Hǫrða foldar vǫrðr, en úmyldr konungr. Nú er knǫrr búit, færandi malmdyns hlyn Aðalsteins aptr at vinkers botnum Íslands. Á því fyrra ylgjar tafni grímu galdr fylktisk at leika yggjar bála él við jǫtuns eyki. Eptir lagarmána ok hafs daga Haddingja vals hróka flugs Ánars mær verðr at landa heimi. Fáum fimtum áðr sá geit Týs máli tók við þeim nýja grams róða ok margr breka sunnu askr lét skírask. Hǫrga herr goðabrennir, vargsbrǫðar lǫgsǫgumaðr, réð fyrir guðs ástvinum ok setti reglur strangar gegn hertýgðri blóta fægis andstefni. Mikill hrotta hreggr ríkir á hólmgjarðar nagla. Mǫrg hænahús byggð skjaldaviði úr Haralds haukey, en enginn mið máttr stýrir dróttins liði. Hǫskuldr kemr at garði Kjartans í suðri af orm-sins fálmandi líki. Á siggjar linda fólksstara fangs kringlu mikil fórn var færð. Þrír oksbirnir leystu sitt svarðar strǫnd sem oddbreki þeirra roðar fljóts glóða elris hring ok fyllir steininn. Dreyra fylltir Háars þegnar goða varnendr! Hlóriði, veit oss þursa týs burir. Belja dólgr veit oss sólheima. Hjalma hríðir leid þú þangs lat fyrir oss sjásk hvergi er Krists mark leitar á rauðs uppskeru athǫfn. Því þetta er fyrir fróms legg gjǫrt ok hamra vífs buru forna.

[ENGLISH - The king's life, commander of Ormurin langi]

The king's life, commander of Ormurin langi and good fighter in many battles, found it's end at sea. Óláfr Tryggvason disappeared at the battle of Svǫldr at the coasts of the Wendlands. Sveinn tjúguskeggr, son of Haraldr blátǫnn Gormsson, Óláfr sænski, son of Eiríkr inn sigrsæli and Eiríkr Hákonarson, earl of Hlaðir, conquered Óláf's 11 ships by their 70 and brought the sea king beneath Rán's daughters. Did the fierce king of the useless bow drown? His mission to break the heathen resistance finally comes to an end and Hǫskuldr is released from Óláfr's anger. A great king he was, but a merciless ruler. Now a knǫrr is set, bringing the son of Aðalsteinn back to the dark clouds of Iceland. In the old year storms gather to play a wild game with sea horses. But after nights and days of raven flights the wooden ground becomes black ground. Some weeks ago this kingless land accepted the new faith and many chieftains were baptized. Heathen Þorgeirr, long time lǫgsǫgumaðr, decided for the Christians and set strong rules against the armed heathen resistance. Great dispute reigns the isle. Many churches are build with wood from Norway, but no central power reigns the followers. Hǫskuldr travels to the farm of Kjartan í suðri of the dragon's struggling body. In the first days of the old year's circle, a great sacrifice is made. Three oxes loose their heards as their blood reddens the chieftain's ring and fills the stone. Bloodful we hail ye! Þorr, bring power to us. Freyr, bring growth to us. Njǫrðr, lead life to us. This sacrifice is for the wooden gods and for a peaceful future of this agitated soil. Fylgjur of ours, do not appear when the cross confronts our ritual of the red harvest. For this is for the earth and gods of old.

[verysaxyberry]

Sometimes you discover there's an intense plane of darkness and zero gravity when you and your friends fall off a bridge in a mine overrun by cultists worshipping the Flame. Sometimes you find out there's another world on the inside of your world past this plane of darkness. Sometimes you have to go back and report to the dwarven mafia bank that the cult wants to hatch the dragon egg the bank possesses that you shouldn't know about because dragons don't exist on your original side of the world (turns out they do exist on this other side). Sometimes on your way back home, your mysterious patron wants to let you know that he's happy with what a good little spy you are (and also needs you to hurry up because the forces of darkness are like right behind him and they are pissed).

[valkyrie-girl]

Some of the renown valkyrie queens, Froyja, Raven, Hjalma and Brising. #art #myart #vallyriegirlart #valkyria #copicmarkers https://www.instagram.com/p/B0jMsMlFeI8/?igshid=2bk1cem9quh2

[incorrectquotesfromdnd]

Shamil: The ocean is a soup.

Taiga:...

Taiga: Do elaborate.

Shamil: What is needed for something to be a soup?

Taiga:... Water, salt, some form of vegetable, some meat typically though I prefer souls personally.

Shamil: *Tilts head*

Taiga: The ocean is a soup.

Shamil: *nodding* The ocean is a soup.

[incorrectquotesfromdnd]

Vyth: I need life advice.

Shamil, eating cookie dough and drinking Gatorade: You came to the right place.

[incorrectquotesfromdnd]

Taigo: Bryndel, I need you to swear-

Bryndel: Fuck.

Taigo: -Swear as in promise.

[incorrectquotesfromdnd]

Bryndel: Taigo, gather the others. We need to have another Celestine-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-him-before-he-hurts-someone convention.

[incorrectquotesfromdnd]

Celestine: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.

Shamil: I think you mean cards.

Vyth: He did not.

Celestine, pulling out knives: I did not.

[incorrectquotesfromdnd]

Ea: You know what bothers me? Bats. Why can bats fly?

Shamil: Not again!

Ea: No. Seriously, who gave them the right? They're mammals! Mammals walk on land, no exceptions.

Vyth: Just wait until you hear about whales.

Ea: What now?

[incorrectquotesfromdnd]

Celestine: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Shamil’*

Ea: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

[incorrectquotesfromdnd]

Ea, trying to comfort Vyth: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

[incorrectquotesfromdnd]

Taiga: *slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome* I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading.

Ea: This is light?!

[incorrectquotesfromdnd]

Bryndel: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Bryndel: Not you Ea. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

[incorrectquotesfromdnd]

Celestine, after watching Ea get stabbed by Oraceo: You’re dead. You are very dead. When you are a corpse I will hack away at your flesh and eat you raw.

Ea: Celestine, I’m not dead yet.

Celestine: Let me have my moment of rage to avenge you.

Ea: I’d prefer it if you didn’t let me die.

[incorrectquotesfromdnd]

Taigo: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff.

Taiga: Oh, that was all real.

Taigo: Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?!

Taiga: If I’m gonna be sacrificed, I’m gonna do it right.