#history museum made me a bit mental but it also made me feel smart

[okapiandpaste]

I finished frogwares' sherlock holmes vs. arsene lupin (AKA sherlock holmes: nemesis) good lord that's the game of all time. I really had to spend an hour perfecting a dog food recipe just to see a 20 second cutscene of low poly lupin making out sloppy style with the queen of england. ???/10

[aceofspadegrass]

do you have any headcanons for chishiya as a child? angsty, cute, anything works ☺️

Oh? Okay, let me just ramble a few off the top of my head then.

- Childshiya was the kid that never really spoke up at school, not because he was shy, but more like he didn't feel like gathering the energy to interact more than he considered necessary. Still didn't stop the other kids from noticing he was the smart kid and trying to group with him during group projects. Kids probably never bothered him because he never reacted to a lot of things and even if a few did try to be his friend they likely didn't remain that way for long as most kids wanted a mutual sort of companionship.

Childshiya didn't mind, but it still didn't help his perpetual lonely state.

- He actually has a fond interest in art that are deemed mysterious and thought provoking (Like the Mona Lisa) and when he could, he tried his best to read as much about it as his little mind could process. When he was brought to art museums he always managed to disappear from his parents (or maybe even teachers if it was a field trip) to stare at paintings for as long as he was allowed to and go on mental thought tangents before inevitably reappearing by his parents/teacher as if he never left. If other adults asked if he was lost he'd just shake his head and continue with his art stare.

(I like to think as he got older he knew a lot of art history for a med student, and he only attributes it to his cleverness. He could tell the exact date, medium, artist, and name of famous arts off the top of his head as if it were simple knowledge.)

- Continuing on that previous point, Childshiya did a little bit of art on his off time, and he's actually not that terrible at it. To be fair, doctors have to have a steady hand, and so do artists, so Childshiya doodling on his off time to practice a steady hand isn't that impossible to think about. He wouldn't call anything he does good enough for anyone to really see, but it's not just stick drawings and shapes.

I like to think that's why he chose instead of signing notes with his name or initial where it could track to him immediately by name, he instead draws a cat every single time because that is also his signature. Just a simple cat. :3

- Imagine Childshiya, in an attempt to get his father's attention, tried to inflict self medical issues on himself. He's smart, but he's still a child, and sometimes that can translates to the child trying to do what they think will get results through child logic.

Cut to Childshiya being carried into the ER by his father because he 'tripped' and broke his toe. It sort of worked at least, his father did pay attention to him for once. It led to a lecture of being more careful walking and that 'He was smarter than that', but it was worth it.

- Childshiya had one of those small water fountains in his room as decoration, and sometimes he'd put water in, turn it on, and just sit there at his desk watching the water go through blankly. Sometimes he'd place a really tiny foam duck that he got from some machine at the top and mindlessly watch it float to the bottom basin. It was as much entertainment as he could get, even if it was repetitive.

- I also like to think Childshiya owning a children's doctor kit, also as a form of entertainment and he'd busy himself with playing doctor on random things like his bedroom door, a chair, and even his face. The entire time he's got a blank face and is muttering random doctor words that he's read. Apparently his knee had polio according to his plastic otoscope.

He's just doing this with such a serious expression, and pretty much his only way of connecting with his father. Festive. :)

- Childshiya was once handed a hoodie several sizes too big for him during a sudden rainstorm so he didn't get cold and he looked like a floating jacket with feet and nothing else. Just imagine a child with a hoodie, the hood draped over his head where it flops in front of his eyes and the sleeve flop over his hands so he couldn't use them unless he went tortoise mode peeked them out or rolled up the sleeves, and the bottom hung down to about his knee.

Now imagine that flopping through the outside, no cute singing or dancing in the rain, merely chugging along in this hoodie. He somehow found that experience comfortable.

- He was the type of kid to wander off immediately if no one kept a close eye on him because something else caught his interest, but at least wouldn't move anywhere else once he's settled. He wasn't horrible at directions so as long as they kept in the same area he'd eventually find his way back.

- Childshiya soaked in as much knowledge as he could when it was thrown at him or something he picked up offhandedly. Does he tell anyone about said facts? Oh absolutely not. He just has these little tidbits of knowledge that he kept to himself. He even writes them down if they're particularly interesting.

- He stole a baby lemon tree once.

- Childshiya was one of the only kids willing to do all of dissection day, and it only helped in his future as a med student. The other kids thought he was brave for doing it, or weird because he seemed so unaffected.

- Childshiya made sort of friends with local cats in his area, and was semi-friendly to each and every single one that was willing to approach him for pets. It was an absolute vibe.

And of course, the funniest one of all:

- No matter how much strawberry milk this baby bitch drank he still wasn't getting any taller. :)

[that-house]

Hey so I hit 100 followers today!

Buckle up, this is gonna be a LOOOONG post.

I quite honestly expected it (while my ego is a little smaller than my jokes make it out to be it is definitely present), I didn’t expect it to happen so fast.

It’s not an insane milestone, plenty of people have 100 followers. A hefty portion of my followers are bigger than me. But it’s still important to me. Knowing that there’s 100 people out there who enjoy my shit makes me happy.

First and foremost the credit quite honestly has to go to ahegao George Washington. No, I’m not joking. Until I posted on r/tumblr about my desire to draw that, I had 0 followers. I jumped to like 10 overnight, which was awesome. And then those new followers helped me spread my posts and get more attention.

Secondly I’d like to shoutout @imaverysadgirl and @themeaninglessjumble. You two were my first real tumblr frens. You were the first of my followers to really interact with me. Ember, I’m super happy you’re alive to see me hit 100 followers. Jumble (I don’t know your name unless I forgot it), your art and creations are great and you deserve way more attention.

To all the rest of you, you guys are great, too. Every new follower makes me happy. I’d say I don’t deserve you all, but my colossal ego says I do. Regardless, being nemesi and getting called out for being horny on main and sending and receiving asks has made this last month or so great.

Finally, for all the shit it gets, and for all the shit it pulls, [tumblr] really is pretty dope. I got to meet you all, and it’s actively making me a better person by exposing me to groups of people I’d rarely interact with in real life.

Why does it feel like I’m saying goodbye? I’m not, don’t worry. I plan to stay, and neither death nor pain shall drive me from this hellsite. I’m just saying thanks.

Now with the thanks out of the way, I want to talk about myself a little. Just the stuff that I’ve always wanted to say and never quite gathered my thoughts and found the time to talk about.

You’re gonna get to know me so well! This is like a mini autobiography!

First off, my mental health. This is something I don’t talk about much on this blog, mostly because it doesn’t need much talking about. I’m doing pretty well, to be honest. I have a smattering of anxiety and I’m maybe a little too introverted for my own good, but I’m not suffering from depression and the only time I ever even remotely considered suicide was when I just really really didn’t want to go to French class. COVID has been great for me, since I don’t have to see people. I suppose I’m not a great person to talk to if you’re struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, seeing as I can’t personally relate, but I’m still always here for you guys if you need me. Just because I haven’t lived through your experiences doesn’t mean I can’t try to help.

Next up I want to talk about my sexuality. This one’s a bit of a mystery. For the past 16 years of my life I’ve considered myself 100% straight. But lately (let’s be honest, following the release of Spirit Blossom Thresh) I’ve been wondering if I might be bi. How many times can I joke about wanting to smash sexy boys before it’s not really a joke anymore? And if I am, a lot of things would suddenly make a lot of sense. But every time I think I have it figured out it suddenly feels like I have no clue what’s going on. Regardless, my sexuality has honestly never been a massive part of my identity (though I’m definitely not asexual, my friends can attest I’m far too horny for that). I have no clue if I’m bi and for now it’s kind of a fun little adventure!

I guess I’ll talk about school and stuff now. Believe it or not, I’m kinda smart. I’m taking a shitton of AP courses this year. But I simultaneously feel like it’s too much and not enough. I’m smart, but I’m not a great student. Compared to my dad, who graduated college with a 3.98 GPA (and his only B being in History of Canada as an American) and now has a super well-paying government STEM job that he loves, I feel like even if I work my ass off I’ll never quite measure up. And my parents have had super high expectations of me, and it’s only recently that they’ve started to accept that I might get some B’s here and there. I’m worried about all the homework this year. I’m a year ahead in Math but I don’t feel good enough at math to be taking AP calculus junior year. I’m worried I’m going to get like a C. But for the most part school is alright, too. That’s sort of the trend in my life. Everything’s alright.

Time to talk about my love life! I have no love life! I’ve been single for 17 years and probably stand no chance of changing that until at least college! Haha I’m so alone! But I can live with it. Growing up an only child with a few friends means that I’m pretty good at functioning without a ton of social interaction, and, while I’d like a partner someday, I’m not desperate. I can wait until I find someone. Pretty much my goal is not to die alone.

Onto sports maybe? I played soccer for most of my life, and was always the worst player on the select team. I was too good for the normal team and not good enough for the select team (kinda like math). Soccer was really toxic, especially when you’re the worst player on a team of high school jock drug addict boys. So I quit, and started playing frisbee! It’s a lot better. The people are nicer! But my first season never happened because of COVID and now I’m in my Junior year and haven’t played much frisbee! So I kinda suck! But I’m physically fit and that’s good enough for me! On my own time I bike and run to stay in shape.

Are you still with me? Now I’m gonna talk about my hobbies and things!

I’ve been playing video games for a long time. I kinda suck at them to be totally honest. I probably have below-average reaction time, and my parents only let me play 15 minutes a day for most of my childhood, so I have a lot less practice than most of my friends. I’m pretty slick with Swain in LoL tho.

This next part is borderline shameless self-promotion, but since the Kickstarter isn’t live yet I guess it doesn’t count. I’m making a tabletop role playing game! I’ve been working on it for the past few years. My goal is to launch the Kickstarter prior to my college applications, because that’ll look sexy as fuck to potential colleges. It’s a post-apocalyptic sci-fi game where you play as supersoldiers trying to reconquer the wastelands of Earth for humanity. I’ll do a big post on it when I launch the Kickstarter, and I guess that’ll also be a full name reveal (kinda spooky since my full name is ENTIRELY unique and one-of-a-kind. More ego boost lmao).

And finally I want to talk about my art and writing. I’ll start with my drawing, and finish off with my writing, since that’s what I’d most like to be known for on here (but that’ll never happen because my caveman brain shitposts are too funny).

So I’ve been doodling for a long time. I briefly got formal art training but sacrificing my Saturday mornings to draw what someone else wanted me to make so that I could make better stuff in the future didn’t appeal to my 8-year-old brain. I draw in the margins of worksheets. I draw on random sheets of paper. Recently my parents bought me a drawing tablet, and I’ve been trying to improve at digital art. I’d say I’m getting better, but I don’t practice nearly enough. All in all my art serves its purpose. It makes people laugh and can sometimes creep people out. It’ll never go in a museum, and I’ll never make money off of it but whatever.

And finally, my writing.

How can I talk about writing without talking about reading? I’ve likely read more books than both my parents combined, and if not, it’s close (and my mom is a prolific reader too). I have three bookshelves in my room and books on every surface. You can’t follow me for long without seeing a post ranting about my latest read. I love to read and I read incredibly fast. Reading spurred my love of English class, which in turn helped me write.

And finally, we get to writing in and of itself. I’ve been writing stories since I was a little kid. I’d like to think I’ve improved a fair bit. I’m still no novelist, but I consider myself a fairly adept short story writer.

But I suppose where my writing really stems from is my bed. Every night while I’m lying in bed, I tell myself stories until I fall asleep. I work on a story until it’s done or until I get bored of it. Along the way, in the shower, on my bike, I build the world of the story, crafting the plot. Sometimes the stories are elaborate fanfictions of my latest reads. That’s probably how they started. Often, they’re unique worlds all of their own. My current writing posts are about the City of Mammon, but my current story in my head is about some vampires who hunt other vampires in Victorian England.

And now we get into the process of writing. It’s fun! I sit myself down with an idea in my head, and use all the fancy words I picked up from my books to convey the vibes I want. I honestly wouldn’t be a great writing teacher. It’s just a skill that comes naturally to me as a result of what I’ve been doing with my free time my whole life. And it’s beautiful. And every time someone compliments my writing or reblogs it, I love writing just a little bit more.

Well I guess this is it. The 100 follower special. I wonder how many of you guys will take the time out of your day to read this. Hopefully a lot!

James (or That House) signing off for the night!

<3 thanks guys

[ramblinganthropologist]

Writober 2020 Day 3 - Sculpture

Summary: The cast of Champion have arrived in Kirkwall for filming. Costars Briala and Malcolm decide to explore the city and find some less than impressive statues along the way. At least Malcolm knows how to take pictures.

(That Dragon Age Actor AU, DA2.)

---

There was something about on-location filming that made Briala's heart beat a little faster. Or maybe that was the jet lag?

It was overcast in Kirkwall – it often was. Something about the whole damn place being cursed fucked with the weather patterns. Of course the weather man would never say that, but it was something the locals believed. When Anders sent Elthina to hell, he forever angered the weather gods. Apparently, they were Chantry supporters.

Dumbasses.

“Well, here we are in Kirkwall. It's not raining, this is just the perpetual gloom of the city.”

Briala swirled her phone around to catch the view of the city from where she was standing. Once, they called where she was standing Hightown. It had been pretty much burned down after the mages had broken free of the Gallows, so eventually a lot of set design was going to have to happen. Right then, it just looked like a city.

And she looked like a one-armed punk rocker with a purple mohawk, so she couldn't exactly complain about accuracy.

“No wonder your Shadow Empress' lyricist.”

A voice from above boomed out quietly. Briala didn't aim her phone upward as she broke gaze. By now, she had learned better than to catch Malcolm on camera. He wasn't a big fan of social media to say the least, and she could respect that.

She stuck out her pierced tongue anyway though. “I save my best stuff for the band, you're getting my b grade shit.”

“Well, I'm honored.” Malcolm's Antivan accent probably made all the men weak in the knees, but it was doing nothing for Briala's Ferelden sensibilities. “So, we have time before we have to go where we need.”

They did. She had half expected him to wander off once they had gotten to Kirkwall, but for some reason the giant was sticking by his gremlin. They were definitely getting looks and more than a few whispers from the locals as they walked through the remains of Hightown, picking their way through the bleached rib bones of what had once been the city of chains. It was probably the height difference, given the city's history. Once you saw a pairing like that, there wasn't much else it could be.

Briala shrugged her shoulder as she stowed her phone in her pocket. “Want to check out the Hanged Man? I heard they rebuilt it.”

“Can you handle yourself in-” He stopped. Smart move – she had played in more than a few dive bars since she had started running with Shadow Empress. “No. We'll be there soon enough for shots with Varric anyway.”

Well, boo. Wasn't like she wanted a drink or anything anyway.

Briala fell into step behind Malcolm as they threaded their way through the streets. It certainly didn't feel like they were in Kirkwall, but it wasn't like she knew what it was supposed to be like anyway. Even with the gloom, it just seemed like a regular city. Maybe she had expected abominations or something, or the ghost of Meredith herself to wander the streets at night, still glowing from corrupted lyrium. Kirkwall was supposed to just be... something... and to actually be standing there was kind of a let down.

Ok, maybe she had built it up a little in her mind, but whatever.

“Blooming Rose then?”

“No.”

Briala snickered as she threaded her arm behind her head – the gesture would have been cooler with two, but she didn't exactly have a leg to stand on there. “I was kidding, Malcolm. But since you're shooting me down, how about you make a suggestion?”

“There.”

He had stopped moving, and was pointing a finger towards where the courtyard of the Gallows had once stood. Here, if history served her right, had been where the Hawkes had watched as the Chantry blew sky high on one of Kirkwall's darkest days. Now it was just a plaza, with benches and shit, but there was still the sculptures someone had erected there.

That's when she got the feeling in her gut.

“Yeah... let's go there.”

Together, Briala and Malcolm made their way to the plaza. Here, tourists were gathered with their cameras to take pictures of the statues erected by the city to tell the story of how the Mage Rebellion had gotten its start – you know, besides when Head Enchanter Fiona actually set the whole thing off. Excuse her for being a little sensitive towards elven accomplishments, thank you very much. Still, Anders was important too... though not as much as Fiona was in her mind. Again, see above.

The statues were cast in bronze and stood in battle poses. Each one had a plaque at the base of the podium explaining who they were and why they were so important. The one that represented Meredith was particularly fierce, though Briala half wish they had embedded some LEDs in. The red spotlight was nice, but it would've been better if the damn thing glowed like she had. Still, no doubt it was spooky during Halloween.

“Look, it's you.”

Malcolm was pointing at the second shortest figure in the garden. Briala walked over to it without thinking, stopping at the podium. Cast in bronze and with her sword raised was the likeness of Avery Hawke. Her mouth was open, showing off a pretty impressive fanged grin. That came from the reaver blood, or so the stories said. Her sword should have been glowing too, but apparently bronze wasn't the best medium for that.

They were close to the same height. Maybe the famous hero had a bit more height on her, but everything else was pretty close. If Avery hadn't been wearing her armor, they probably would have had similar builds as well. She had seen plenty of pictures of the woman, but standing next to a sculpture of her was something else altogether.

She brought her phone out without thinking and tossed it to Malcolm. “Can you get our picture?  You just have to hit the button in the middle when you've got it all lined up.”

He caught it – no surprises there – and she got into position. Avery's posture was a little hard, given she had two arms in it. Still, Briala did her best as she mimicked the shot and expression. No doubt with her bright purple mohawk and facial piercings she looked a little silly, but it didn't matter. She was there, that was enough.

Malcolm didn't take long to take the picture. Once he was done, she relaxed and hopped down. At least they hadn't attracted much attention – the tourists were still doing their thing, the locals were giving people the stink eye. All in all, it was a normal day in the former city of chains as people went about their day, no doubt preparing for when traffic was going to be fucked up during filming.

She felt like she should have apologized for that, but it wasn't exactly her fault. She hadn't been the one to decide on on-location filming anyway.

“Thanks, man.” Briala grinned as she inspected the image. “Nice. That one's going on Instagram for sure.”

Honestly, she wasn't sure if he even knew what it was. He was kind of a hipster that way, but she wasn't about to call him out on it. If he wanted to run without social media, that was his choice. Actors were weird like that.

Briala hummed to herself as she fell behind Malcolm – he had said something about a museum to visit. She was working on posting the picture to her social media after doing some mild editing. A few more clicks, and everything was up.

And then she felt the tug on her vest.

There was a tiny hand there, attached to a kid that couldn't have been more than 5. Their little baby horns hadn't even erupted yet – they were just little nubs waiting to become impressive one day if their parent was anything to go by. Either way, they were looking at her with big purple eyes that made her long dead antinatalist heart flutter a little.

“What's up, big guy?”

They let go of her vest and stepped back to a respectful distance. Maybe they were thinking of retreating behind mom's skirt. Said parent had a camera, so they were probably tourists too. What a lovely vacation – come see the city of chains where qunari got their shit rocked by Hawke.

Sounds like the shit her parents would've dragged her to, and that was why they didn't get holiday cards anymore.

“Why aren't you riding on Moses?”

The little one pointed a chubby finger towards Malcolm, his hood still drawn up as he tried to look inconspicuous. The math was floating above Briala's head as she started to put the pieces together. Even she knew she didn't look like Avery just yet, but apparently that didn't matter to the kid. See a tiny gremlin, see a fucking giant human, and presto. You got Hawke.

Well, shit.

Her brain whirred through possible responses as she grinned at them and ruffled their hair. “I gotta stretch my legs, you know. Can't have you outgrowing me before you're 6.”

“I'm 4!” They giggled as she messed with their hair.  “Is there metal in your tongue?”

Briala stuck her tongue out for emphasis. “That's why you don't bite down too hard on your fork when you're eating. The doctor said he could get it out, but I would've had to keep my mouth shut for a couple months and I couldn't even make a day.”

Their eyes went wide as if she had just told them the secret to everlasting life. Mom on the other hand held a chuckle behind her sleeve. Briala mentally sighed in relief at the reaction. For some reason, parents had strange reactions to her tongue piercing.

“Daddy's waiting for us, Adan. Let's leave the nice lady alone.”

The little qunari nodded their big head and turned back to her. “Bye-bye, Hawke!”

They were waving as their mother took their other hand and guided them away. Briala's hand went up without thinking as she also waved goodbye. Then they were gone, and her shoulders slumped in relief. Talk about on the spot acting. Wouldn't Shadow Empress be proud?

“Maybe you should switch to chopsticks.”

Malcolm's deep voice rumbled across the open space as she returned to the fact he was still here. His face was blank, but she knew that tone anywhere. Her smirk gave way to a loud laugh as she fell into step behind him once more.

He had jokes, alright. And that was better than a smart phone any day.

“What, I was working on my feet. Couldn't actually tell the kid I keep fucking beefing it.” The bruises on her ass were proof of that. “Come on, we got museums to look at. First one who finds the best dick pic wins!”

“You're on.”

And then they were off with time still to kill before their next meeting. Briala had a spring in her step as the likes already started to roll in from Instagram, but that was besides the point. Maybe the gloomy city wasn't so bad after all.

She would probably change her mind about that in a few weeks, but hey. Let her live in her delusion a bit longer.

[jack-jupiter]

As a gay man, there are so many parts of my life that were unwitnessed, and thusly feel unreal. When no one touches a memory, it starts to become a dream, it scatters and it fogs. The context that was meant to assemble the memory and hold it together just isn’t there, missing, just like the love and support that wasn’t there. When I was a child, I felt unreal. I would wander passed mirrors and “remember” what I even looked like. I didn’t know I was suffering from chronic emotional neglect, but I did feel like one of those dreams. Scattered. Hazy. Without context. But, I remember the first man that made me feel real. He wasn’t the first man to give me a rainbow, but he was the first person that made me feel like one, like I was full of colors, and that my body housed something remarkable... and lovable. I was seventeen years old, and for my senior project I had decided to volunteer at my local naval museum. I thought since the naval museum was close, I could create something simple, get a good grade, and wipe my hands clean of the whole affair -- clearly underestimating how utterly boring naval history is. (I would later switch subjects.) But on lightning-bolt impulse, I strolled to the museum and volunteered. The elderly caretakers were happy to put me to use and benefit from my youthful energy, so they sent me to work with the maintenance man, whom I’d be working under for the duration to get my hours. I imagined he’d be similar to the other caretakers: old, crotchety, exploitable -- but I was wrong. I confess, I don’t remember any of the museum’s exhibits, any of the displays beneath glass, the floors of naval history memorabilia, and I barely remember the grand ballroom and their labyrinthine kitchens. But I remember the ramp to the maintenance room, and the man waiting inside. Paul was twenty-five years old, six foot tall, and he had instantly made up his mind about me. I was a young layabout with sawdust between my ears, but he treated me with a dignified manner, like how aristocracy treats an underling. Paul was arrogant, and he got great globs of validation for being the young handsome handyman around the museum, so he was quite formidable.  You could tell by the way he walked. His walk was dignified, but also hunched forward a little. He was worshiped by the other caretakers, but Paul was eager to continually prove himself, was deathly afraid of failure, and was constantly seeking to renew his honorary title as maintenance monarch. He was very prideful, and I wanted nothing more than to burst his bubble, to topple his composure, and to expose him for what he was. It was very aggressive-- but it was aggression born from infatuation. When he would drag me into the attic, and bend over to fix frayed wires, I would inspect him very... very closely. I found him to be the pinnacle of physical perfection. I loved his foxy waves of brown hair, the regal shape of his profile -- as if he belonged on a coin -- and his solid manly build; but rather than show the smallest sliver of admiration for the man, I created power struggles. To be fair, he was no better. He was cutting and sarcastic. He would continually condescend. He always seemed exasperated to see me, but would bore me with his tales of accomplishment and heroism: like rebuilding bits of the roofing himself, building chairs from scratch, singlehandedly protecting the museum from the ominous “council”, and being the building’s best cook. But I continually challenged him to battles of wit. I bombarded him with riddles. I would charm him but go cold to lead him astray. When I was hungry, he would grumble and go into the kitchens to cook for me, but I always withdrew the praise he wanted, even when the food was immaculate. And it was working. Whenever I appeared into the museum after school, I would drop my bookbag and find him waiting in the maintenance room with nicer and nicer clothes, with grander and grander stories. By now he had come to respect my intelligence, so our verbal sparring matches got sharper and sharper. He was stubborn and I was willful. I would withhold and he would try even harder, until finally one day he proved a point by showing me one of his books, and then yet another.  I would show up to volunteer and he’d be waiting with books for me to read. (I never read them-- at first.) He was a graduate student, a History major, so he wasn’t just filled with his own stories, he was literally filled with stories. When I eventually showed interest I noticed something had turned in him. My approval was giving him a sense of pride.  I began to anticipate driving to the museum. Paul would be waiting with music for me to hear, wild experiments he wanted to show me, projects he was working on. He became warmer. He started cooking for me without being asked. I even began to thank him. He would confide in me the woes of graduate school. He would pine about the pressure. I would support him. Eventually he held me in high esteem. We would wander the museum as a pair, fixing light bulbs, moving heavy furniture, and all the while he would pour his stories into me, with which I would respond with curiosity and wit. “I would try to tell the others, but none of them are as smart as you,” he would casually say. I confess, it made my heart swell whenever he complimented me. Eventually I came to know his secret world. Paul taught me about mental illness. He was struggling with mood disorders and he would show me the cocktail of pills he would take a day, telling me how they altered his moods, or sometimes made them worse. For the first time I felt powerless, and I learned about the power of restraint. I let him know I cared about him, that I wanted him to be happy... and he was glad. To my delight, he began bringing over scifi books, his real treasures, and tell me tales of futuristic military heroes fighting for their lives in compounds full of mutant badgers. I loved seeing this side of him, so I drew Paul in the futuristic military gear, fighting off the mutant badgers of his books with torrents of lasers. He hung it on his wall. Everyone in the museum knew that I loved him. All the caretakers knew that we were inseparable, that we couldn’t wait to see each other. But what he felt? I did not know, and I truly didn’t care. I was so starved of love that I was content with what I had: a close platonic friendship; until the first day he told me he found men attractive. “I mean, I’ve never dated one,” he told me, “but why can’t one man find another man attractive?” I didn’t skip a beat and said something witty in agreement, a perfect balance of affirmation and teasing, but on the inside, birds were flying around in my stomach. Would I finally be able to caress that solid waist of his? Was I being granted permission to take his hand in mine? To stare into his eyes for a second longer than men were allowed? That second that would telepathically transmit all of my repressed longing? Was this an invitation? And sometimes, that invitation felt real. But he was much too dignified, and I was also too proud to let him see that he had any power over me. A part of me felt like he didn’t deserve that power, and another part of me wanted to surrender and believe in him. I wanted to believe that he would treat me gently. I wanted to believe that I could dance in his arms. That I wouldn’t have to choose between loving myself and connecting with him, like so many people had made me choose. I wanted to believe that he was safe, that he would put me above his pride. But when I admitted that I was gay, he spoke about me as if I wasn’t like him, as if I was an entirely different creature. Why couldn’t we be kin? Why didn’t this bring us closer together? Why didn’t this coil golden wreaths around our bond? He didn’t reject me or anything... but it wasn’t enough. I was hurt but I wouldn’t admit it, externally or internally. I made it unreal and carried on with our relationship. I started dreaming. In the end, I gave up on the dry monotony of naval history, and did my senior project on nudity and censorship in museums. Paul helped me select and print large scale neoclassical paintings, and I was bittersweetly pleased. I got an A on the assignment, even though I cheated in several ways, but even after the project was over, I still would wander over to the museum. I’d enter the double doors, smile at the caretakers, and they’d tell me Paul was in the back. When he saw me, he’d smile, and I’d follow him around the building, taking down chairs or playing with circuit boards. He was so warm, so beautiful, so smart and playful, in his own dignified way. I loved him so much, and I continued to love him through the years, even though I visited infrequently. Soon it was weeks between visits, and then months, until finally a whole year had gone by since I had seen Paul. I had tried my own romantic excursions, but they all proved to be failures, and one day, when I was searching for some sense of warmth and familiarity, I walked back up the ramp to the maintenance room. Paul was waiting, and when he saw me he smiled. He was still handsome. He was still warm. He was still proud. And he still had my picture above the toolboxes. And... he was getting married. I masked how far my stomach sank through my shoes, and I asked witty and insightful questions about her. She seemed nice. But when it was quiet, I could tell he was looking at me with regret. I could have been imagining it. Perhaps I was lovesick and throwing rosewood over an unvarnished picture. But he looked... sad... and he asked if I wanted to hang out, at his place. I said yes. We went grocery shopping together, and when we got to his apartment he cooked us dinner. We came out the closet to each other in a different way. We admitted to each other that we both practiced magic. It made me love him even more to see him condescend and lord over me with his stories, his attempts to establish himself as the most powerful and resourceful of the two of us. I mean, he was probably right. And then, he pulled out the Jameson, and the night blurred. I remember spending a lot of time on his balcony, feeling the cool breeze over my constricted blood vessels, while he poured his stories into me, just like the old days. I was less willful this time around. I had learned to really listen, and I’d learned to respond with something more than precocity and wit. I had learned how to respond with empathy. Paul was afraid to get married, and I comforted him. I listened to his stories and let him pour into me because I loved him. And then, when I had allayed his doubts, he calmed down and just... looked at me. And as I counted the seconds, Paul stared for a second longer, that powerful second longer, and I knew the secret of his longing. When he drew close to me, it was the most frightened and boyish that I’d ever seen him. He was floating closer to me even though he was frightened, and he softly, so very softly, kissed my lips. Both our lips were chapped from all the liquor, but it was still so soft. I wish I could say that I felt wonderful-- and I will admit, that kiss was wonderful-- but to be honest, I was trembling inside. I was trying to escape. And it wasn’t because he was engaged, or because I didn’t believe the sincerity of his kiss. It was because no one had kissed me in a way that made me feel real. I had been woken from the denial of my own self. I was a living being, worthy of a kiss from Paul, the man I had loved since I was seventeen. But I escaped. I was overwhelmed by his attention. I was too acclimatized to neglect. So when he withdrew and looked at me, I just smiled at him, and nothing more. We continued talking like nothing had happened, but the regret had returned to his eyes. So we drank more, and then yet more. I have never been more drunk than that night, to this day. Paul passed out on the floor in the hallway, but I’d fallen asleep on the couch, forehead pounding, vision spinning-- and then his fiance came home. She woke Paul up and nursed us to health, and even let me sleep over... but I knew she knew. Back at the museum, Paul had asked for my address to send me an invitation to the wedding. We were coordinating. But after that night, I never got my invitation. I was never invited to the wedding. And maybe that was for the best. She deserved better than that. And I, too, deserved to have my heart break silently, in the comfort of my own home, without vows and rice, and feigned celebration. But I never truly let my heart break. What I did was dream, because there was no one there for me, to witness me. And without that love and support, without mature eyes to mirror and validate my hurt and shame... and joy... those events, those memories, like so many years of my life, became unreal, and faded into dreams. The memories were forgotten by the mind, and stored in the body, along with every other man who ever tried to make me real.

[proxylynn]

Dreemurr Academy #8 (UnderFell Gaster)

Dreemurr Academy, a prestigious closed-off college for monsters and humans alike of all ages and worlds. This includes myself, though I'm sort of an in-between. I'm Lynsie, the human anomaly. I'm a human, but I can do magic like monsters. I'm an oddball. That's the thing about making a school that is open to multiple alternate dimensions. Weird things are bound to show up. Even a bunch of the same person. From what I saw on orientation day, the same faces are scattered around all around. To fix these type of issues, everyone that has a multiple or doppelganger is given a school name so there's no confusion. Other than that, it's fairly normal. The hierarchy is the simple. The Deans are made up of the same people, skeleton monsters that go by the name of Gaster. One is a teacher of the Sciences, goes by Wingding. He's a kind and understanding man but is known to pull a prank or two. They all speak in a typeface sign language but use telepathy magic so others understand. It's been said no one has ever heard their real voices and those that have are no longer at the academy. Another Gaster dean teaches Home Economics, he goes by Wingy. He's a bubbly sweet guy that loves his work. Nothing makes him smile more than seeing the joy on a student's face when they take pride in being able to do something they first thought they couldn't. Another Gaster dean teaches the studies of Magic, he is called Fall. At times, he can be cynical, malicious, and sarcastic. He has a commanding presence that exuded gravitas, authority, and control, able to keep a class quiet without effort. Yet there is a kindness to him, it's rarely seen, but not unheard of. Another Gaster dean teaches History, his nickname is Dings. A cold, bitter, and sometimes childish man. He tends to hold grudges against troublesome students and is extremely spiteful toward those whom he dislikes. Yet those that can take his punishments are rewarded with his respect. He is a teacher that commands respect and whose grades are earned with doom hanging over your head. The Professors are also skeleton monsters, but not all are the same person. The Psychology professor is a guy named Papyrus but goes by Stretch. He's the favorite among students because he's so laid back. He chews a tooth pick in class to suppress his urge to smoke, but we all know he does so when on break. He's really good at reading students and helps out when able. All in all, he's the cool teacher. The Literature professor is a Papyrus that is called Fell. He is the one teacher everyone dreads. Very strict and old fashioned. He does not tolerate interruptions and will humiliate those he feels need to be taken down a notch. Such things take their toll on him and often squeezes a stress ball that he keeps on his desk. But he is a very passionate man when it comes to his work and takes his subject seriously, even though this makes him into a bit of a grammar nazi which is why many students get low grades. The Biology professor is a skeleton called Sans that sometimes goes by Classic, whatever that means. He is very cheesy and comes off as lazy, making puns that have people cringe yet secretly love them. He is very protective of his students and will go out of his way to help them. He does not tolerate bullying of any kind and can be quite scary. He's the second favorite among the students. The Physical Education professor is also a Sans that goes by Pain. He is also a stern and old school type of teacher, only he tends to be crueler in the humiliation of students that are unprepared. While his scope is all around, he prefers the darker side of the study. Using borderline violence to weed out the weak that think taking his class is an easy A. There is mercy in his dojo, but it must be earned with blood, sweat, and tears. The Students are broken into four groups based on which part of the four years they are currently in. The first years are called freshmen. Second years are sophomores. Third years are juniors. And fourth years are seniors. There are some variations on this topic, but this hierarchy of college students is still readily recognizable by everyone. Me? This isn't my first rodeo but not my last. I'm a sophomore and have gotten the gist of who's who and what's what. I get along with students and teachers. I've always been a middle ground type of girl. I didn't come looking for friends, but they just seemed to find me. Funny enough, my buddies are the brothers of the professors. Stretch's brother is a freshman, his name is Sans but goes by Rascal. Fell's brother, also a Sans, is a sophomore like me and goes by Edgy. Classic's brother is a Papyrus, a freshman that goes by Papy. And Pain's brother is a sophomore Papyrus by the name of Slim. I've always been a tomboy. I prefer the company of guys. They're different and fun, even if they can be a bit odd sometimes. Rascal, as the nickname implies, is the school clown/prankster. He likes to test his limits and challenge authority, even dishevels his uniform to assert his individuality. He comes off as a slacker, but secretly very deep, clever, and loyal to a fault. He likes taking his brother's class so he can improve his skills with messing with people, mostly his brother as he disrupts his teachings when he sees a chance. Edgy is shy around new people and slow to open up, enjoying a laugh with friends when able. Though he appears weak or even nerdy because of his glasses, he is far tougher than he leads on. He doesn't take crap from anyone. When alone, he's angsty and borders on straight up angry. Getting a pissy attitude when annoyed. Like his brother, he is very passionate about literature and does his best to impress his brother, going so far as to become the teacher's pet. Papy is easily the most lovable guy in the whole school. Very cheerful and optimistic, he tries his best no matter what. He doesn't like conflict and tries to keep his brother out of trouble when the teacher pulls a prank. I find it sweet of him to take his brother's class even though he doesn't particularly enjoy it, just so he can stay close to him. Like I said, this guy is a lovable soul. Slim is easy going. He doesn't take things too seriously and never breaks a sweat over hard exams. The only thing that breaks his cool is his smoking, he really gets tense if he goes too long without his fix. He's incredibly smart and instinctual, good traits to have when dealing with his brother. While he does attend his brother's class, he merely does so as a request of his brother who likes to make sure he doesn't slack off due to not being challenged enough. All of them are oddly related to each other in some form. Gaster's, Papyrus's, and Sans's are brothers. Yet I see them all as different people. I value them. They're helping me even if they don't know it. I am not so confident in myself. I tend to isolate myself, go at things lone wolf style. It's how I've always been. Then I met them and slowly my world began to expand bit by bit. I'm still not comfortable with others. But with them, I can step out from behind my mask for a bit, and really be myself around them. Today is a typical day. Classes seem to take longer than normal, which isn't necessarily a bad thing with most of them. Again, knowing how to get by and being ready for them helps big time. But there's always a chance of trouble in Dean Fall's magic class. This guy makes professor Snape from Harry Potter seem as kind as a newborn kitten. And when you're the only human student in his class, there's a lot of pressure to not only succeed but to perform better than your naturally magical peers. Lately, his progression scale has increased in difficulty. Like a video game that you put on very easy, a sudden ultra hard boss appears and wrecks your shit from out of nowhere. One week we'll be studying rudimentary magics, the next he wants us to perform advanced magics that we haven't even gone over yet. The whole thing is draining, both mentally and physically. The worrisome part about today is that Fall has been in a pleasant mood. Normally this would be a good thing, happy teachers/deans equal easy classes. But not with Fall. When he's in a good mood he gets creative in his teachings, and nothing is beyond his imagination when it comes to pushing his students to the brink in the pursuit of higher learning. I've dreaded something today, now I know why. "👍 ✌💧💧📬📬📬" (CLASS...) Crap he speaks, what fresh hell will be unleashed now? "✋❄ ✌💧 👍 💣 ❄ 💣✡ ✌❄❄ ❄✋ ❄ ✌❄ ✋ 💣✌✡ ✌✞ 👌 ✌❄ 📬📬📬👎✋ ✋👍🕆 ❄📪 ✌💧 ✌❄ 📬" (IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT I MAY HAVE BEEN RATHER...DIFFICULT, AS OF LATE.) Oh shit! Who's the dumbass that complained? We're all doomed! " ❄ ✋💧📪 ✋ 💣🕆💧❄ ✌🏱 ✋ 📬" (FOR THIS, I MUST APOLOGIZE.) We're all dead! We're all...wait...What did he say? " 👎 🕯❄ ✋✞ 💣 ❄ 💧 😐💧📬 ✋ ✌💣 ✌ 💣 ✌ ❄ 💧💧📬 ❄ 💣 💧❄ 🏱✌ ❄📪 ✡ 🕆🕯✞ ✌ 👌 🕈 😐✋ ✌ ✡ ✌ 👎📬 💧 💣 💣 ❄ ✌ ❄ 💧📬" (OH DON'T GIVE ME THOSE LOOKS. I AM FAR FROM HEARTLESS. FOR THE MOST PART, YOU'VE ALL BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD. SOME MORE THAN OTHERS.) Weird...I just had a 'senpai noticed me' moment. But Fall's not my senpai, no, I don't even have one. Argh! Brain, quit being dumb right now! "💧 ❄ 🕈✌ 👎 ✡ 🕆 ❄💧📪 ✋ 🕈✌💧 ❄ ✋ 😐✋ 🕈 👍 🕆 👎 ✌ ✋❄❄ 🕆❄✋ 📬" (SO TO REWARD YOUR EFFORTS, I WAS THINKING WE COULD GO ON A LITTLE OUTING.) "Uh...Are you saying we're going on a field trip?" "👎✋👎 ✋ 💧❄🕆❄❄ ✌❄ ✌ ✡ 🏱 ✋ ❄✍ ✡ 💧📪 ❄ ✌❄🕯💧 🕈 ✌❄ ✋ 💧✌✋👎 ✡ 🕆 ✋ ✌ ❄ 🕈 🏱✏" (DID I STUTTER AT ANY POINT? YES, THAT'S WHAT I SAID YOU IGNORANT WHELP!) A wave of cheer sweeps over the room, but I'm not so eager as my classmates, and Fall notices. "✋💧 💧 💣 ❄ ✋ ❄ 💣✌❄❄ 🕆💣✌ ✍" (IS SOMETHING THE MATTER HUMAN?) "No, sir. I'm just waiting to hear the part of 'where' we are to go before expressing any delight." He smirks. "👍 ✞ ✋ 📪 ✌ 🕈✌✡💧 🕆✌ 👎📬 ❄ 👎✌✡📪 🕈 💧 ✌ 👌 ✋ ❄ ❄ 👎 💣🕆 💣🕆💧 🕆💣 💣✌ ✋👍 ✌ 👎 👎👎✋❄✋ 💧📬 🕈 🕈 👎 💧 ❄ ✌❄ 💧 🕆 👎✍" (CLEVER GIRL, ALWAYS ON GUARD. TODAY, WE SHALL BE GOING TO THE DREEMURR MUSEUM OF MAGIC AND ODDITIES. NOW HOW DOES THAT SOUND?) "Yes! Score!" "Nerd!" "Don't care, that place is awesome." "💧 ❄❄ 👎 🕈 ✡ 🕆 ❄📪 👌 ✋ 👍 ✌ 💣✡ 💣✋ 👎📬" (SETTLE DOWN YOU LOT, BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND.) [One bus ride later] Much to all of our surprise, Fall has allowed us the opportunity to walk around the building on our own. A lot of my classmates break off into groups of friends. And while a few of my buddies are here, we've all pretty much split up Scooby Doo style. I don't mind it. Being on my own is normal and it'll let me see everything to my heart's desire. And oh my god...This place is incredible! Such rich history. The vibrant scope of knowledge. My brain is in love with the endless stimuli. There's just so much! I must see it all! I must consult the map directory. "Let's see now. Where to get the most bang for my metaphorical buck? 'Magic planetarium'? See the creation of the world as well as the birth of life and where we all stand in the scope of the multiverse. Maybe. But let's keep looking. 'Recreated mutations'? A gallery of wax detailed figures of the brilliantly bizarre anomalies as found in recorded history...Damn, that's tempting. What else? Hmmm...'Gift shop'? Heh, that's funny. For real, what else...Oh! 'Hall of summoning'. For honoring those that have contributed to the betterment of all and invented new magics. Oh hell yeah!" Now I know that doesn't sound as cool as some of the other things here. But if there's one thing I've learned from Fall's class it's this, if you want to learn to be the best then you have to learn from the best. And if I want to be better than I am now than what better way than to look to those who have made this world what it is today. And holy shit this exhibit is huge! A hall of fame of all the most important figures in magical history. Even King Asgore is here, his countenance forever immortalized in a life sized painted sculpture and brandishing his trademark trident. Shockingly, Prince Asriel has a spot in here as well, though he has multiple figures in his exhibit. The really cool one to me is called 'Absolute GOD of Hyperdeath'...So badass! All the wonders. So many famous monsters. Hardly a human in sight. Can't complain about that though, humanity lost most of its magical abilities when it began focusing more on technology. A stupid move in my evolutionary opinion, but hey, that's just me, a random anomalous human. "I hate to feel so cliché, but it's like I'm a kid in a candy store." Going further along the many faces, I'm suddenly made to take a double take before coming to complete stop. The one, this person I did not expect to see in all this...My Headmaster. "W. D. Gaster...Inventor of magic electricity, discoverer of Determination, and creator of the Gaster Blaster?" The statue is of Dean Gaster, the sciences professor, and on either side of him are these strange skull-shaped weapons. "Huh...Did not see this coming." "✡ 🕆 💧 💣 💧🕆 🏱 ✋💧 👎✍" (YOU SEEM SURPRISED?) Fall says while standing behind me and I nearly jump out of my skin. "For the love of...! *huff* Give me a heart attack why don't you!" He just smirks. "🕈 ✡ 💧 💧😐✋❄❄✋💧 ✍ ✌ ✡ 🕆 ✠🏱 👍❄✋ ✌ 💣 ✋ 💧 💣 💣✌ ✍" (WHY SO SKITTISH? ARE YOU EXPECTING HARM IN SOME MANNER?) "No. But I'm also not expecting to have someone be behind me either." " 📬📬📬✌ 🕈✌✡💧 🕆✌ 👎📬 💧🕆👍 ✌ 🕈 ✋💧 💣 ✋ ✡ 🕆 ✌ 📬" (HEH...ALWAYS ON GUARD. SUCH A WORRISOME GIRL YOU ARE.) Cheeky guy. Must still be in a good mood. I ignore this and turn back to the exhibit. "So...Are you the same way?" He cocks a bony brow. "✋ 👌 ✡ 🕆 🏱✌ 👎 ✍" (I BEG YOUR PARDON?) "In your world, the alternate reality where you hail and your brothers are from, are you similar in this regard? All these things the Headmaster has done, did you do them as well?" "🕈 ✡ 💧 👍🕆 ✋ 🕆💧✍" (WHY SO CURIOUS?) "It's my nature." "✡ 🕆 😐 🕈 🕈 ✌❄ ❄ ✡ 💧✌✡📬 👍🕆 ✋ 💧✋❄✡ 😐✋ 👎 ❄ 👍✌❄📬" (YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT.) "Well, it's a good thing cats have nine lives then." He chuckles. "❄ ✡ 🕈 ✋ ❄ ✌👌 🕆❄ ✡ 🕆📬 ✌ ❄ ✌ 👌🕆❄ 🕈 🏱🕆💧 👍 💣 💧 ❄ 💧 ✞ 📪 ✡ 🕆 👎 🕯❄ 👌✌👍😐 👎 🕈 📬" (THEY WERE RIGHT ABOUT YOU. EAGER TO LEARN BUT WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, YOU DON'T BACK DOWN.) I smirk inwardly. "I take it Fell and Edgy talk to you about me." "❄ ✡ 💣✌✡ 💧🏱 ✌😐 ✡ 🕆 💣 ❄✋💣 ❄ ❄✋💣 📬" (THEY MAY SPEAK OF YOU FROM TIME TO TIME.) "Figured as much." "👌🕆❄ ❄ ✌ 💧🕈 ✡ 🕆 🏱 ✞✋ 🕆💧 ✈🕆 💧❄✋ 📪 ✡ 💧📬 ✋ ✌✞ 👎 ❄ 💧 💧✌💣 ❄ ✋ 💧 ✌💧 ❄ ✌👎💣✌💧❄ ✌💧📬 ✌💧 ✌✞ ❄ ❄ 💣 🕯💧📬" (BUT TO ANSWER YOUR PREVIOUS QUESTION, YES. I HAVE DONE THESE SAME THINGS AS THE HEADMASTER HAS. AS HAVE THE OTHER ME'S.) "Hmmm...Makes you think, doesn't it?" " 🕈 💧 ✍" (HOW SO?) "In the infinite scheme of things and the untold number of parallel realities, it's funny how the same things can play out for the same people even if there is a slight difference." He ponders this for a moment and then smiles. "✋ 💧🕆🏱🏱 💧 ✡ 🕆 ✌✞ ✌ 🏱 ✋ ❄ ❄ 📬 ✋💧❄ ✡ ✋💧 ✌❄ 👎 ❄ 🏱 ✌❄ ✋❄💧 ✞ ✌👍 💧💧 💧🏱✌👍 ✌ 👎 ❄✋💣 📬 ✌ 🕈 ✌❄ 💧 🕈 💣 ❄✌ 💧 👌 📬" (I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE A POINT THERE. HISTORY IS FATED TO REPEAT ITSELF EVEN ACROSS SPACE AND TIME. AH WHAT FOOLS WE MORTALS BE.) "*chuckles* Your brothers are getting to you, sir. You're paraphrasing Shakespeare's 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'." "✡ 🕆 😐 🕈 ✌💧 🕈 ✌💧 ✋ ❄ ✌❄ ❄ ✡ ❄ 👎 ❄ 💧🕈 🏱 ✡ 🕆 ✋ ❄ ✋ 🕈 👎 🕈 👎💧 ❄✋ ✡ 🕆🕯 ✌💧 💧❄ ✋ ✋❄ ✌💧 ❄ ✡ ✌ 📬" (YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I THAT THEY TEND TO SWEEP YOU IN THEIR WORLD OF WORDS TILL YOU'RE AS LOST IN IT AS THEY ARE.) "That I do. Which reminds me...I apologize for being loud when Edgy and I recite in your home. Once the proverbial ball gets rolling, it becomes hard to stop." "✋❄🕯💧 ✋ 📬 ✌ 😐 ✡ ✋🕯💣 🕆💧❄ 👍 ❄ ❄ 💧✌ 💧 ✌💧 💧 💣 ❄ 👎 ❄ ✌❄ 🕈✋❄ 👌 💧✋👎 💧 🏱✌🏱✡ 🕆💧📬 📬📬📬✌ 👎 ✋ ✡ 🕆 ❄ ✋ 😐 ✡ 🕆 ❄ 🕆👎📪 ✡ 🕆🕯✞ ✞ ✌ 👎 🏱✌🏱✡ 🕆💧📬 ❄ 👌 ✡ 👍✌ 👍 ✌👍😐 ✌💧💧 🕈✋❄ 💧 ✞ 🕆💣 ✌ 📬" (IT'S FINE. FRANKLY I'M JUST CONTENT SANS HAS SOMEONE TO DO THAT WITH BESIDES PAPYRUS. HEH...AND IF YOU THINK YOU GET LOUD, YOU'VE NEVER HEARD PAPYRUS. THE BOY CAN CRACK GLASS WITH SHEER VOLUME ALONE.) Knowing what I do of Professor Fell, that makes me laugh a little. " 🕆💣✌ 📬📬📬" (HUMAN...) "Sir?" "💣✌✡ ✋ ✋ ✈🕆✋ ✡ 🕆 ✌ 💣 💣 ❄✍" (MAY I INQUIRE YOU FOR A MOMENT?) "Go for it." "🕈 ✡ 👎✋👎 ✡ 🕆 👍 💧 ❄ ❄✌😐 💣✡ 👍 ✌💧💧✍" (WHY DID YOU CHOOSE TO TAKE MY CLASS?) "A silly question. To understand my abilities and learn further." "💧 👌 ✋ ❄ ✡ 🕆💣✌ ✋ 👍 ✌💧💧 👎 💧 ❄ 👌 ❄ ✡ 🕆✍" (SO BEING THE ONLY HUMAN IN CLASS DOES NOT BOTHER YOU?) "Sir, I could care less if there are other humans in class with me. I'm not the biggest fan of my own kind. And as you can tell by the company I keep, I prefer being with monsters." "✋💧 ❄ ✌❄ 🕈 ✡ ✡ 🕆 ❄ ✡ 💧 ✌ 👎✍" (IS THAT WHY YOU TRY SO HARD?) I tilt my head in puzzlement. "Come again?" "👎 🕯❄ ❄ ✡ ❄ 👎 ✡ ✋❄📬 ✡ 🕆 🏱🕆❄ ✋ 💣 ❄ ❄ ✌ ❄ ❄ 💧📬 ✌ ✡ 🕆 ❄ ✡✋ ❄ 🏱 ✞ ✡ 🕆 ✌ 👌 ❄❄ ❄ ✌ ❄ 🕆💣✌ 💧✍ ✌ ✡ 🕆 ❄ ✡✋ ❄ 👌 👌 ❄❄ ❄ ✌ 🕈 ✌❄ ❄ 💧 ❄ ✋ 😐 ✡ 🕆✍" (DON'T TRY TO DENY IT. YOU PUT IN MORE EFFORT THAN THE OTHERS. ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE YOU ARE BETTER THAN OTHER HUMANS? OR ARE YOU TRYING TO BE BETTER THAN WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU?) I don't like where this is going. I can care less what others think of me. I do what I do for myself and no one else. But I don't want him to think I have some stupid ulterior motive or some other dumb shit. "You should quit while you can, sir. You sound like Professor Stretch." " ✞✌👎✋ ❄ ✈🕆 💧❄✋ ✍" (EVADING THE QUESTION?) I look away from him. "🏱✌❄ ❄✋👍📬 ✌ 👎 ✋ ❄ 🕆 ❄ ✡ 🕆 ✌👎 💧 💣 👌✌👍😐👌 📬" (PATHETIC. AND HERE I THOUGHT YOU HAD SOME BACKBONE.) I hear my internal politeness glass shatter and I turn to him with an all too innocent grin. "Sir...Might I suggest you do one thing? *ahem* Shut the fuck up!" He looks at me in shock and the niceness in me is drowned out by annoyance as I let loose. " 📫 🕆💣✌ ✍" (H-HUMAN?) "Lynsie! My god damn name is Lynsie. And I'm not taking your class to prove I'm better than whatever crackpot psychosomatic theory you got cooking in that half baked oven you call a skull. I don't have to prove a damn thing to anyone. Not to you, not to the others, not to monster or human kind, just me. I'm doing this to better myself because I want to do so, not because I want to shove metaphorical crap in someone's face. So take your high and mighty head, pop it off that pipe cleaner you call a neck, and shove it up your bony ass because that's where shit is supposed to come from!" I'm so tempted to flip him off as an epic finisher but I'm too red faced with embarrassment and fear to sink my battleship any further. Fall is in shock, his normal unbreakable commanding countenance falters in befuddlement. A shade of crimson colors his skull as he is taken back by such an outburst. "✡ 🕆📬📬📬 ✌💧 ✞ 💧🏱 😐 ❄ 💣 ✋😐 ❄ ✌❄📬" (YOU...NO ONE HAS EVER SPOKEN TO ME LIKE THAT.) "I bet." What the hell? Brain, shut down and don't speak. "✡ 🕆 👎 ✌ ✋ ✋🕯💣 ❄ 🕆💧❄ ✡ 🕆 ❄ ✌👍 📪 👌🕆❄ ✋🕯💣 ✌ 💧 ✌ 👎 ✌ 📪 ✡ 💧✍" (YOU DO REALIZE I'M NOT JUST YOUR TEACHER, BUT I'M ALSO A DEAN, YES?) "I know." Quit talking! "✌ 👎 ✌ 📪 ✌ 🏱 💧 🏱 🕈 📬 ✌💧 ✋ 📪 ✋ 👍✌ 💣✌😐 ✡ 🕆 ✋ ✌ ✋❄ ✌ ✋✞✋ 🏱✋💧💧✋ 💣 📬" (A DEAN, A PERSON OF POWER. AS IN, I CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE A LITERAL LIVING HELL FOR PISSING ME OFF.) "I know." Why am I still talking?! "👍✌ ✡ 🕆 ❄ ✞ ✌❄ 💣 ❄ ✞ ✌ ✡ 🕆 💧 🕆 👎 👌 ✋ ✋ ❄ 🕈✍ 👎 ✡ 🕆 ❄ 👍 💣🏱 👎 ❄ ✌❄ ✋❄ ✋💧 ✋ ✡ 🕆 💧 🕆 👎 👌 ✋ ❄ 👎 ✋ ❄ ✋💧 ✞ ✡ 💣 💣 ❄✍✏" (CAN YOU NOT EVEN FATHOM THE LEVEL OF FEAR YOU SHOULD BE FEELING RIGHT NOW? DO YOU NOT COMPREHEND THAT IT IS I YOU SHOULD BE FRIGHTENED OF IN THIS VERY MOMENT?!) "Do you think I'm not frightened? I don't think I can move my legs because I know how fucked I am." He ponders this, then as if an idea just popped up in his mind after a moment or two, a dark smirk comes to him and he looms over my still form menacingly. "✡ 🕆 ✌✞ ✋👎 ✌ 🕈 ✌🏱🏱 🏱 ✋✌❄ ❄ ✌❄ 💧❄✌❄ 💣 ❄ 🕈✌💧📬" (YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW APPROPRIATE THAT STATEMENT WAS.) "S-sir?" " 💧🕈 ❄ ✋❄❄ ✌💣👌📬 ✡ 🕆🕯✞ 💣✌👎 ❄ ✋💧 ✌ ❄ ✌💧✡📬 ✌ 👎 ❄ 🕈 ✋💧 🕆 ✡📬 ✞ ✡📬📬📬✞ ✡📬📬📬 🕆 ✡❞📬" (OH SWEET LITTLE LAMB. YOU'VE MADE THIS ALL TO EASY. AND THE WOLF IS HUNGRY. VERY...VERY...HUNGRY~.) "Okay, that is very cree...!" I'm cut off by him grabbing my face and the sudden invasion of his tongue down my throat. I try to push him away, but something prevents my limbs from moving, no matter how much I pull. And from out of my peripheral vision, I see what it is...his magic. "💣💣💣💣📬📬📬👎✋👎 ✡ 🕆 ✌ ✡ ❄ ✋ 😐 ✋🕯👎 ❄ ✡ 🕆 ❄ ✌🕈✌✡ 🕈✋❄ 🕆❄ 🏱🕆 ✋💧 💣 ❄✍" (MMMM...DID YOU REALLY THINK I'D LET YOU GET AWAY WITHOUT PUNISHMENT?) "No sir, but this is..." "✡ 🕆 💧 🕆 👎 💧✋ 👍 ❄ ✌❄ 💣 🕆❄ ✡ 🕆 💧 👌 ✋❄ 💣✌😐 💧 ❄ ✋💧 🕈 💧❄ ✡ 🕆📬 👎 ✡ 🕆 🏱 ✋❄ 🕈 ✋ 👎 ❄ ✌❄ ✡ 🕆✍" (YOU SHOULD SILENCE THAT MOUTH OF YOURS BEFORE IT MAKES THIS WORST FOR YOU. OR DO YOU PREFER IT WHEN I DO THAT FOR YOU?) If I egg him on he's only going to get more daring. Maybe if I appeal to his more logical side. "You know sir, you never struck me as one with Martymachlia." That gets to him. "🕈 ✌❄✍" (WHAT?) "We're in public. People are everywhere. And eventually, we'll have to return to school. You're being awfully risky sexually disciplining me in the open like this. Why...What would the other Deans say?" I even make a looking gesture towards the display of his alternate self to really drive this further. My hope is that this will remind him of basic knowledge of approved/appropriate public displays of affection. "🕈 ✌ ✡ 🕆 ✋ 🕈✋❄ ❄ ✋💧✍" (WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS?) "Oh come on sir. You can't tell me one such as yourself does not know of appropriate public displays of affection." " ✠🏱 ✌✋ ❄ 💣 🕈 ✌❄ ❄ ✌❄ ✋💧📬" (EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THAT IS.) Oh, sweet lord, he doesn't know. "Sir, public displays of affection are acts of physical intimacy in the view of others. What is an acceptable display of affection varies with respect to culture and context. Displays of affection in a public place, such as the street, are more likely to be objected to, than similar practices in a private place with only people from a similar cultural background present. Some organizations have rules limiting or prohibiting public displays of affection. Physical affection has been defined as 'any touch intended to arouse feelings of love in the giver and/or the recipient'. Physical intimacy is sensual proximity or touching. It is an act or reaction, such as an expression of feelings, including close friendship, romantic love or sexual attraction, between people. Examples of physical intimacy include being inside someone's personal space, holding hands, hugging, kissing, caressing and sexual activity. It is possible to be physically intimate with someone without actually touching them; however, a certain proximity is necessary. For instance, a sustained eye contact is considered a form of physical intimacy, analogous to touching. When a person enters someone else's personal space for the purpose of being intimate, it is physical intimacy, regardless of the lack of actual physical contact. Most people partake in physical intimacy, which is a natural part of interpersonal relationships and human sexuality, and research has shown it has health benefits. A hug or touch can result in the release of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, and in a reduction in stress hormones. As for the point I'm also trying to make here...Most people value their personal space and feel discomfort, anger or anxiety when somebody encroaches on their personal space without consent. Entering somebody's personal space is normally an indication of familiarity and intimacy. However, in modern society, especially in crowded urban communities, it is at times difficult to maintain personal space, for example, in a crowded train, elevator or street. Many people find the physical proximity within crowded spaces to be psychologically disturbing and uncomfortable, though it is accepted as a fact of modern life. In an impersonal crowded situation, eye contact tends to be avoided. Even in a crowded place, preserving personal space is important. Non-consensual intimate and sexual contact, such as frotteurism and groping are unacceptable. On the other hand, most people occasionally desire physical proximity to others, and will at times welcome a familiar and trusted person into their personal space. When a partner or friend is not available at such a time, some people satisfy this need for human contact in a crowded venue, such as a bar, nightclub, rock concert, street festival, etc. Make sense now?" "❄ 🕈 ✌❄ 👎✋👎 ✡ 🕆 💣 ✌ 👌✡ ❄ ✌❄ ❄ ✋ ✡ 🕆 👍✌ 👎 💣 ✍" (THEN WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT THING YOU CALLED ME?) "What? Martymachlia? It is a paraphilia which involves sexual attraction to having others watch the execution of a sexual act." He gives me a funny look. "🕈 ✡ 👎 ✡ 🕆 ✞ 😐 🕈 🕈 ✌❄ ❄ ✌❄ ✋💧✍" (WHY DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS?) "*sigh* I'm a massive trivia nerd and the dorm room across from mine has a nymphomaniac living in it. He's so damn noisy, but not a bad guy. Anyway, I help the guy out with his studies from time to time and he'll just spout off into random stories. He'll mention something he doesn't know the name of, I'll either know what it is or I'll look it up for him. Long story short, he's learned even more crazy things and which makes me regret so much of my time doing so." "📬📬📬✡ 🕆 ✌✞ ✌ ✞ ✡ 👎👎 ✋ 📪 ✡ 🕆 😐 🕈 ❄ ✌❄✍" (...YOU HAVE A VERY ODD LIFE, YOU KNOW THAT?) "Like you wouldn't believe." " 💣💣💣📬📬📬👌🕆❄ 🏱 ✌🏱💧 ✡ 🕆🕯 ✋ ❄📬 ❄ ✋👎 ✌ 🏱🕆 ✋💧 ✋ ✡ 🕆 ✋ 🏱🕆👌 ✋👍 👎 💧 ✌✞ ✌ 👍 ❄✌✋ 🏱 ✌💧✋ ✋ ❄ ✋❄📬" (HMMM...BUT PERHAPS YOU'RE RIGHT. THE IDEA OF PUNISHING YOU IN PUBLIC DOES HAVE A CERTAIN PLEASING RING TO IT.) "Please no. Just so much no." He smirks. "😐 🕈✋ ❄ ✌❄ ✡ 🕆 ✌ ✌ ✌✋ 💧❄ ❄ ✋💧 ✡ 💣✌😐 💧 ❄ ✋💧 ✞ 👌 ❄❄ 📬 ✋ ✌👍❄📬📬📬 ❄🕯💧 ❄🕆 ❄ ✋💧 ✋ ❄ ✌ 💧💧 📬" (KNOWING THAT YOU ARE AGAINST THIS ONLY MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. IN FACT...LET'S TURN THIS INTO A LESSON.) "What?" " 💧💧 📬📬📬 ✌🕆 ✋ 💧 💧✋❄✋✞✋❄✡📬" (LESSON ONE...GAUGING SENSITIVITY.) I jump nearly out of my skin when his hand gropes under my skirt and rubs into my panties. I don't really care for the uniforms for this very reason. Girls have to wear skirts, I hate it because of perverts taking up-skirt pics. And when creepy pervert stuff like this happens! "What the hell was that for?!" "😐 🏱 ✡ 🕆 ✞ ✋👍 👎 🕈 📪 ✡ 🕆 📬 👎 ✡ 🕆 🕈✌ ❄ ❄ 💧 ❄ 😐 🕈📬" (KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN, YOU FOOL. OR DO YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW.) "Know wha-Aaah! *covers mouth*" There is something in my panties! "*chuckles* ✌💧👍✋ ✌❄✋ 📬" (*CHUCKLES* FASCINATING.) I bite my lip and squirm uncomfortably. I don't know what he's done, but like hell I'm going to give into this and satisfy his sick need to 'punish' me. " 💣💣💣📬📬📬✡ 🕆🕯 💧❄ ❄ ✌ ✋ ✋ 💧❄ ❄ 🕆 ❄📬 ❄ ✡✋ ❄ 💧✋💧❄ 💣 📬 ❄ ✋ ❄ ✋ 😐 ✋❄🕯💧 ❄✋💣 ❄ 💣 ✞ ❄ 💧💧 ❄🕈 📬📬📬👌 👎✋ ✡ 💧 👍 ❄✋ ✌💣 🕆 ❄ ❄ 💣🕆💧👍 ❄ 💧✋ 📬 ❄🕯💧 ❄ 💧❄ ❄ ✋ 💧❄ 🏱✌ ❄📬📬📬 🕈📬" (HMMM...YOU'RE STRONGER THAN I FIRST THOUGHT. TRYING TO RESIST ME. THEN I THINK IT'S TIME TO MOVE ONTO LESSON TWO...BODILY SECRETION AMOUNT TO MUSCLE TENSION. LET'S TEST THE FIRST PART...NOW.) No...He can't possibly mean... "*sharp gasp*" Whatever is touching me, it starts wriggling around down there and I'm on the verge of snapping. " ❄ 👌✌👎📬 💧❄✋ ❄ 🕆 🕆👌 ✋👍✌❄✋ 📬 📬📬📬✡ 🕆 💣✋ ❄ 👌 🕈 👎 ✋ 🕈 ✌❄ ✡ 🕆🕯 ✋ ✋ ❄ 🕈📬" (NOT BAD. STILL NOT ENOUGH LUBRICATION. HEH...YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING WHAT YOU'RE FEELING RIGHT NOW.) "N-n-no shhhhit." It is not easy to speak when your face is contorting like you sucked a lemon. "✋❄🕯💧 💣 📬 ✋ ✌💣 🕈 ✌❄🕯💧 ❄ 🕆👍 ✋ ✡ 🕆📬" (IT'S ME. I AM WHAT'S TOUCHING YOU.) All I can do is shoot him a 'the fuck you just say' look and he grins. "✋ ✡ 🕆🕯✞ 🏱✌✋👎 👍 💧 ✌❄❄ ❄✋ ✋ 👍 ✌💧💧📪 ❄ ✡ 🕆 😐 🕈 ✋❄ 👎 💧 🕯❄ ❄✌😐 💣🕆👍 ❄ 💧🕆💣💣 👌 👍❄💧 📪 💧🕆👍 ✋ ❄ ✋💧 👍✌💧 📪 👌 👎✡ 🏱✌ ❄💧📬" (IF YOU'VE PAID CLOSE ATTENTION IN CLASS, THEN YOU KNOW IT DOESN'T TAKE MUCH TO SUMMON OBJECTS OR, SUCH IN THIS CASE, BODY PARTS.) I am glaring daggers at his shit eating grin. "You dirty son of a-aah fuck! Will you stop for a damn second?" "❄ ✌❄🕯💧 ❄ 🕈 ❄ ✋💧 🕈 😐💧📬 ❄ ✞✋👍❄✋💣 👎 💧 ❄ ❄ ❄ 👍 💧 🕈 ❄ ✡ ✌ ❄ 👌 🏱🕆 ✋💧 👎📬 👌 💧✋👎 💧📬📬📬✋ ✋ 👎 ✡ 🕆 ✌👍❄✋ 💧 ✌❄ ✋ ❄ 💧❄✋ 📬" (THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS. THE VICTIM DOES NOT GET TO CHOOSE HOW THEY ARE TO BE PUNISHED. BESIDES...I FIND YOUR REACTIONS RATHER INTERESTING.) "How so?" "✡ 🕆🕯 💧✋💧❄✋ 💣 📬 ✞ 🕈📪 ✋ 👍✌ ✡ 🕆 👍 👍 ✋ 📪 ❄ ✡✋ ❄ 😐 🏱 💣 💣 ✋ ✌ ✡ 🕆 ❄ 📬 ✌ 👎 ✡ ❄📬📬📬✡ 🕆 ✈🕆✋✞ 📬 ✡ 🕆 👎 🕈✌ ❄ ❄ ✋💧📬 ✞ ✋ ✋❄ ✋💧 ❄ 💧💣✌ 💧❄ ✌💣 🕆 ❄ ✋💣✌ ✋ ✌👌 📪 ✡ 🕆 👎 🕈✌ ❄ ❄ ✋💧📬 ✌ ✡ 🕆 ✌✞ ❄ 👎 ✋💧 ✌👎💣✋❄ ❄ ✌❄📪 ✌ 👎 ❄ ✋💧 👌 👍 💣 💧 ✌ 🕈 ❄ ✌💧✋ ✡ 🕆📬" (YOU'RE RESISTING ME. EVEN NOW, I CAN FEEL YOU CLENCHING, TRYING TO KEEP ME FROM GOING ANY FURTHER. AND YET...YOU QUIVER. YOU DO WANT THIS. EVEN IF IT IS THE SMALLEST AMOUNT IMAGINABLE, YOU DO WANT THIS. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ADMIT THAT, AND THIS BECOMES A WHOLE LOT EASIER FOR YOU.) Is he for real? Does he really think I'd give in? All I did was snap at him for him being a smart ass and he's trying to magic fuck me. Oh no...No way am I giving him the satisfaction. If he wants more, he has to earn it, and I'm not easy. "Oh, is that how this game goes? Well...Two can play that way." "🕈✌✋❄📪 🕈 ✌❄ 👎 ✡ 🕆 ❄ ✋ 😐 ✡ 🕆🕯 👎 ✋ ✍✏" (WAIT, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!) I grab his jacket's lapel. "Me? Heh...I'm evening the playing field." Yanking him down a bit, I latch my mouth on his exposed neck before giving the bone a nice hard suck and couple that with some licks in between the vertebrae, making him tremble with a stunned gasp. " 🕆👍😐📬📬📬❄ 👎 📬📬📬 *shiver* 🕈 ✌❄ ✌ ✡ 🕆 👎 ✋ ✍" (FFFUCK...THE HELL DOOOOOOH... *SHIVER* WHAT ARE YOU DOING?) "Oh, a little sensitive are you? Very interesting." He shoves me away before catching my wrists in the confusion, then twists me around and locks my now crossed arms around my chest as he has my back against his chest as he growls in my ear. "✡ 🕆 ✌✞ ✌ ❄ ✞ 📪 🕆💣✌ 📬" (YOU HAVE A LOT OF NERVE, HUMAN.) "I can say the same for you." "🕈 ✌❄ 💣✌😐 💧 ✡ 🕆 ❄ ✋ 😐 ✡ 🕆 ✌✞ ❄ ✋ ❄ ❄ ❄ 🕆👍 💣 ✌💧 💧🕆👍 ✍" (WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TOUCH ME AS SUCH?) "All is fair in love and war, sir. You touch me, I touch you back. And by my calculations, I have yet to touch you enough to even the odds." " ✍ ✌ 👎 🕈 👎 ✡ 🕆 ✋ ❄ 👎 ❄ 👎 💧 🕈 ❄ ✌❄ ✡ 🕆 ✌✞ 👌 👎✋💧✌ 💣 👎 💧 ❄ 💧🏱 ✌😐✍" (OH? AND HOW DO YOU INTEND TO DO SO NOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN DISARMED SO TO SPEAK?) "Call me cheeky, but I've been told I have very well crafted assets." "📬📬📬🕈 ✌❄ ✋ ❄ ✌💣 💣✌ ✋👍 👎 💧 ❄ ✌❄ 💣 ✌ ✍" (...WHAT IN THE NAME OF MAGIC DOES THAT MEAN?) "This." I still can't believe I'm this stubborn that I'd really do this. I press back more on him and rub my ass into his pelvis. This has him twitching and faltering in his magic, his nigh unbreakable concentration being messed up by a female rubbing on him. Oh, what a show this must be for the sculptures before us. "*hiss* ✡ 🕆 ✋❄❄ 📬📬📬 ✌ 📬📬📬👍 ✌💧 ✡ 🕆 ✋ 👎✋ ✌❄ 👍 ✏" (*HISS* YOU LITTLE...GAHH...CEASE YOUR GRINDING AT ONCE!) "Hmmm...Nah. I don't think so. I want something first." "✌ 👎📬📬📬🕈 ✌❄ 💣✋ ❄ ❄ ✌❄ 👌 ✍" (AND...WHAT MIGHT THAT BE?) "I want you to admit you're more interested in this game than you're letting on." His cheekbones dust with dark shade of red. "✋ 👎 🕯❄ 😐 🕈 🕈 ✌❄ ✡ 🕆🕯 ❄✌ 😐✋ ✌👌 🕆❄📬" (I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.) "Oh do not lie to yourself, sir. You're resisting this. Even now, I can feel your grip tightening, trying to keep a hold of yourself. And yet...you shiver. You do want this. Even if it is the smallest amount imaginable, you do want this. All you have to do is admit that, and this becomes a whole lot easier for you." He glares at the all too innocent smile on my lips. Paraphrasing his own words for use against him. "✡ 🕆 ❄ ✋ 😐 ✡ 🕆🕯 💧 👍 ✞ 📪 👎 🕯❄ ✡ 🕆✍" (YOU THINK YOU'RE SO CLEVER, DON'T YOU?) "If I weren't, I'd be failing your class, wouldn't I?" "❄ ✌❄🕯💧📬📬📬✌ 👎 🏱 ✋ ❄📬 ✋❄ ❄ ✌ ✡ 💧🕆👍 ❄ ✋ 📬" (THAT'S...A GOOD POINT. BUT NONE THE LESS, I WILL NEVER ADMIT TO ANY SUCH THING.) "Then my good man, I believe we're at a stalemate." "✋ ❄ ✋ 😐 ❄������ ✋ 💧❄✋ ✌✞ ❄ 🕆🏱🏱 ✌ 👎📬" (I THINK NOT. I STILL HAVE THE UPPER HAND.) "You don't have jack sh..." "uh...bro? that you?" Edgy's voice has both of us flinch, but since Fall is much taller than me and his coat is so big, he doesn't know I'm there...yet. "Oh, this'll be good." He harshly squeezes my wrists. "*whisper* ✡ 🕆 💧 🕆❄ ✡ 🕆 💣 🕆❄ 📬 *normal* 🕈 ✌❄ ✋💧 ✋❄ 💧✌ 💧✍" (*WHISPER* YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH. *NORMAL* WHAT IS IT SANS?) "have you seen lynsie? i haven't seen her since we got off the bus." "✌ 👎 🕈 ✋👍 💧❄🕆👎 ❄ 🕈✌💧 ❄ ✌❄ ✌ ✌✋ ✍" (AND WHICH STUDENT WAS THAT AGAIN?) "the human one. the only human in class. the same one who's been in your class for two years now." "✋ ❄ ✌👍 ❄ 💧 ✍" (I TEACH ONE OF THOSE?) "You ass." He lets one of my wrists go to grab my mouth and I grab him back with my free hand. "yes, you teach her. she's been to our house for fuck's sake!" "👎 ❄ ✌✋💧 ✡ 🕆 ✞ ✋👍 ✌❄ 👌 📪 ✋🕯💣 👌🕆💧✡📬" (DO NOT RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME! I HAVEN'T SEEN HER OKAY? SO LEAVE ME BE, I'M BUSY.) "doing what?" "*muffled* Me~." He pinches my nose shut and now I can't breathe. "✋🕯💣 👍 ❄ 💣🏱 ✌❄✋ ✌ 🕈 ✠🏱  ❄ ✌❄✋ 📬 💧 🏱 ✌💣✡ ❄ 🕆 ❄💧📬" (I'M CONTEMPLATING A NEW EXPERIMENT AND NEED ABSOLUTE CONCENTRATION. SO PLEASE, LEAVE ME TO MY THOUGHTS.) "*scoff* fine. just know it's your ass on the line if wingding finds out you lost someone on this trip." " ✋🕯💣 💧🕆 ❄ 🕈✋ 👌 👍 💣🏱 ✌✋ ❄💧📬" (OH I'M SURE THERE WILL BE NO COMPLAINTS.) Edgy walks off and Fall returns his attention to my getting lightheaded form. "💣🕆💧❄ 👌 ✌👍 ✋ ✡ 🕈📬 ✡ 🕆 🕆💧 ✋ 👎 ✌🏱🏱 🏱 ✋✌❄ 🕈✌❄ 📬 🕈 👍✌ ✡ 🕆 ✞ 👎 ✡ 🕆 👌 ✌❄ ✍" (MUST BE REACHING YOUR OXYGEN LIMIT BY NOW. YOUR LUNGS BURNING, NEEDING AIR LIKE FISH IN NEED OF APPROPRIATE WATER. HOW LONG CAN YOU EVEN HOLD YOUR BREATHE FOR?) I hold up three fingers indicating for three minutes and grip my throat as my chest begins heaving rapidly. "🕆📬 🕆💧❄ 👌 ✌ 👎 ✋ 🕆 👎 ❄ ✌❄ 💣 📬📬📬 ✡ 💧✋ ✍" (HEY NOW, DON'T BE SCARED. I'M NOT GOING TO HURT YOU. JUST BE A GOOD GIRL AND PLAY NICE. CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME...LYNSIE?) I'd claw his hands away if I had the strength anymore, so I give in, I nod in defeat and he smirks. " 👎 ✋ 📬" (GOOD GIRL.) He finally allows me the air I need and he supports me so I don't double over. "*gasps* Not cool...*coughs* So not cool..." "✋ ✋❄ 💣✌😐 💧 ✡ 🕆 ✌ ✡ 📬📬📬✋ ✌💣 ✡✋ ❄ ✋💧📬" (IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER...I ADMIT IT...I AM ENJOYING THIS.) "I so *cough* knew it." "🕈 ✋ ✋ ✌✞ 🏱✌ 📪 💧 💣 ❄ ✋ ✌👌 🕆❄ ✡ 🕆 ✌💧👍✋ ✌❄ 💧 💣 📬" (WHILE I HAVE NO PARTICULAR PREFERENCE IN TERMS OF LOOKS OR TYPE, SOMETHING ABOUT YOU FASCINATES ME.) He tilts my head up so that I look at him. "✌💧 ✌ 🕆💣✌ 📪 ✡ 🕆 ✌ ❄ ✋✌ 💧❄📬 ❄ 👌 💧❄ 😐✋ 🕈 💧❄📬" (AS A HUMAN, YOU ARE NOTHING SPECIAL. NOT THE BIGGEST OR THE SMALLEST. NOT BEST LOOKING OR WORST.) "Really hammering my self-esteem into the ground there, sir." "❄ ✌❄📪 ✋❄❄ 📪 ✋💧💣 🕈✌ ❄✋ ❄ 👍 ❄✋ 🕆 💧🕆 🏱 ✋💧✋ ✡ ✌ 🕆💧✋ 📬" (LET ME FINISH. AS A HUMAN, YOU HOLD LITTLE VALUE. BUT I DON'T SEE YOU AS A HUMAN. I SEE A GIRL IN THE SHAPE OF A HUMAN BUT HAS THE SOUL OF A MONSTER. AND THAT, LITTLE ONE, IS WHAT HAS ME WANTING TO CONTINUE THIS GAME OF OURS. THAT, PLUS I FIND YOUR FIGHT AGAINST YOUR HYPER SENSITIVITY AND HIGHLY RESPONSIVE NATURE SURPRISINGLY AROUSING.) The forgotten magic that laid still between my legs begins to pulse with life again. "💧 ✋ ✡ 🕆🕯 ❄ 💣 📬📬📬" (SO IF YOU'LL LET ME...) We share eye contact, his eyes are soft, I've never seen that. I like that look on him. And it's all for me. "Promise me one thing first." "✌ 👎 🕈 ✌❄🕯💧 ❄ ✌❄✍" (AND WHAT'S THAT?) "Please...be gentle. I've...I've never been with someone." He smiles as softly as his eyes. "✋ 🏱 💣✋💧 📬 🕈📬📬📬 🕆💧❄ ✌✠ ✌ 👎🏱🕆👌 ✋👍 ✌ ❄ ✌ 📬" (I PROMISE. NOW...JUST RELAX AND TRY TO KEEP SILENT. REMEMBER, WE ARE IN PUBLIC AFTER ALL.) I blush, having forgotten that fact myself. He takes this as the moment and that magic made member slowly slips it inside me with very little trouble. "Huh." "🕈 ✌❄✍" (WHAT?) "Well, I always heard it was painful during the first time. But I hardly felt anything." "❄ ✌❄🕯💧 👌 👍✌🕆💧 ✋❄🕯💧 ❄ ✌❄ 🕆 💧✋ ✡ ❄📬" (THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S NOT AT FULL SIZE YET.) Skeleton say what now? "What?" "✋  🕈 🕆 👎 👌 ✌ 💣 ❄ 💧✋ 📬 ❄❄ ✋❄ 🕈📬 💧 🕆 👎 ✌✋ ✍" (I PROMISED TO BE GENTLE AND MY TRUE SIZE UPON ENTERING WOULD BE FAR FROM GENTLE. SO WE'LL BE STARTING OFF WITH A MORE ACCOMMODATING SIZE. THEN AS THINGS HEAT UP, I'LL LET IT GROW. SOUND FAIR?) I stare at him and blink in surprise. "That...I...Thank you." "👎 🕯❄ ❄ ✌ 😐 💣 ✡ ❄📬 *purrs* ❄ 💣 ✌ ❄ ✋ 💣✌😐 ✡ 🕆 ❄ 💧 👍🕆 ❞📬" (DON'T THANK ME YET. *PURRS* TELL ME AFTER I MAKE YOUR TOES CURL~.) His hold on me shifts to around my waist, to appear as though it's a hug and something not perverted, even as the member begins to move inside me. It's so strange. We are literally just standing there, not doing a damn thing. Meanwhile, there's a magically created dick in my panties and it's pistoning itself inside me in a slow yet tender rhythm. After a little bit of getting used to it, I find myself leaning back in Fall much to his interest. " 🕈 ✌ ✡ 🕆 ✋ ✍" (HOW ARE YOU FEELING?) "Mmmm...Really nice. And you can feel everything as well?" "*chuckles* ✌❄🕆  👌 ✌💧💧 ✋ ✋ 👎✋👎 🕯❄ ✡ 💣✡💧 ✋ ✌ ❄ ✋💧📬" (*CHUCKLES* NATURALLY. IT WOULD BE RATHER POINTLESS IF I DIDN'T ENJOY MYSELF IN ALL THIS.) "Ooooh...Such a tease. And here I thought it was all about me." "💣💣💣💣💣✋❄✡ 🕆✍ ✋❄🕯💧 ✌ 👍❄✋✞ ❄🕆 ❞📬" (MMMMMM...YOU'RE QUITE NAUGHTY WHEN AROUSED, AREN'T YOU? IT'S AN EFFECTIVE TURN ON~.) With that said I feel him shift inside. The member begins growing in both length and width. And even though this growth is slow, my jaw begins slacking in silent gasps from all the new areas it is touching in its steady pace. This pleases Fall to no end. "❄ ✌❄ 😐 ✡ 🕆 ✌👍 📬 ❄ ✌❄🕯💧 ❄ ✠ ✋ ✋ ❄ ✌ ✋ 👌 ✋ ✈🕆✋ ❄ ✋💧 ✋ ❄ 👌 ✌ 👎 ❄ ✌ ✋ 💧❄ ❄ 🕆 ❄📬" (THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE. THAT'S THE EXPRESSION OF SOMEONE WHO'S BEGINNING TO REALIZE BEING QUIET IS GOING TO BE HARDER THAN FIRST THOUGHT.) I attempt to make a smart retort but half choke a moan and cover my mouth to keep it down much to his delight. " 📬📬📬💧🕆👍 ✌ 💧 ✌💣 ✌ ✡📬 ✋ ❄ 🕈 ✋🕯👎 ✋😐 ❄ ✋ 💣 ❄ ✌ ❄ ✌ ✡ 🕆📬" (HEH HEH...SUCH A SHAME REALLY. FOR RIGHT NOW I'D LIKE NOTHING MORE THAN TO HEAR YOU.) He leans his mouth into my ear and nibbles. "❄ ✌ ✞ ✡ 🕈 ✋💣🏱 📪 ✞ ✡ 👍 ✡📪 ✞ ✡ 💣 ✌ ✌ 👎 ✌  🕆 👎💧 ✌✞ ❄ 💧 ✋🏱💧📬📬📬 *shudders*" (TO HEAR EVERY WHIMPER, EVERY CRY, EVERY MOAN AND GROAN. TO HEAR SUCH SWEET NEEDY SOUNDS LEAVE THOSE LIPS...*SHUDDERS*) He nips his way down to my neck and the sensations have me squirming. I want to make noise, my instinctual brain demands I verbally respond to him. But I force myself silent, choking any sound back and biting my tongue when need be. Yet despite us both knowing we should remain as quiet, his desires aren't all that keen on my resistance to utter a sound. So when he suddenly bites down on my collarbone, it takes everything I have to make the groan that escapes as low in volume as possible. " 📬📬📬💧🕆👍 ✌ 👎 ✋ 📬 *soft moan* 😐 🏱 ❄ ✋💧 🕆🏱 ✌ 👎 ✋🕯 🕈✌ 👎 ✡ 🕆 ✌❄ ❞📬" (OOOH...SUCH A GOOD GIRL. *SOFT MOAN* KEEP THIS UP AND I'LL REWARD YOU LATER~.) Funny, wasn't this a punishment in the beginning? Screw it! He feels so good. His hands begin roaming along my sides and hips, making me sway into his touch. He can only just withhold how much he loves to see me overcome with desire like this. He moans lowly in my ear every time I clench my muscles around his member, gritting his teeth together as he quietly gasps and whispers shudders against me every time my body responds deliciously to the increasing movements he makes inside me. Every small thrust, every tiny jab he makes within me is met with a powerful response deep in my abdomen. Every inch of my skin feels as if it's lit up like fireworks, the blood running through my veins sizzle across my bones in an intense explosion, flaring within my innards like a blazing inferno. My fingers dig deep into my cheeks to keep distracted, his hands grab a tight hold of my thighs as the pounding quickens, and I stifle the urge to scream as the head of his erection suddenly hits a bundle of nerves deep within me. "✋ 🕈✌ ❄ ✌ ✡ 🕆 👍✌ 🕆❄ ❄ 💣 📪 ✡ 💧✋ 📬📬📬💧 ✋ ✡ 🕆 ✋😐 ❄ ✋💧📬📬📬✋ 🕈✌ ❄ ❄ 😐 🕈 ❄ ✌" (I WANT HEAR YOU CALL OUT TO ME, LYNSIE...SEEING YOU LIKE THIS...I WANT TO KNOW THAT I MADE YOU FEEL THIS WAY...MMMM...THAT FACE YOU'RE MAKING RIGHT NOW...DAMN YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU LOOK RIGHT NOW...) "*muffled* Fall..." " ✏ *hushed* 📬📬📬💧✌✡ 💣🕆 ❄ 🕆 ✋😐 ✋❄ 🕈✌💧 ✡ 🕆 ✞ ✡ ✌💧❄ 👌 ✌❄ 📬" (NO! *HUSHED* NO...SAY MY NAME. I WANT TO HEAR MY NAME ROLL OFF YOUR TONGUE LIKE IT WAS YOUR VERY LAST BREATH.) "*muffled* Gaster..." "✋🕯💣 💧 ✡📬 ✋🕯💣 ❄ 💧🕆 ✋ ✌ 👎✌❄ 💣 ✍" (I'M SORRY. I'M NOT SURE I HEARD THAT. CARE TO REPEAT THAT FOR ME?) "*muffled* Gaster!" " 📪 💣✡ 👎 ✌ 📬 💣 ✞ ✡ 🕆 ✌ 👎💧 📬 ❄ 💣 ✌ ✡ 🕆 ✞ ✋👍 📬" (OH NO, MY DEAR. REMOVE YOUR HANDS AND SPEAK MY NAME. LET ME HEAR YOUR VOICE.) I shake my head and he growls lowly. "✋ 🕈 🕯❄ 💧✌✡ ✋❄ ✌ ✌✋ 📬 *thrust* 💧✌✡📬📬📬*thrust* 💣✡📬📬📬 *thrust* ✌💣 ✏ *thrust*" (I WON'T SAY IT AGAIN. *THRUST* SAY... *THRUST* MY... *THRUST* NAME! *THRUST*) He orders, forcing the member relentlessly into me until the feelings stirring deep within my core feel like they're about to explode. His raw voice is draped with commanding lust as he grips a hold of my waist in his impossibly strong arms. My will has put up a strong fight against my sexual instinct, but I am good at winning battles not wars, so between the delicious feelings of the ways he touches me and the way it all synchronizes with his now harsh thrusts, I can't suppress the needs to call out to him anymore. "Gas...ahhh...G-gaster..." It's not too loud, but just enough to make him happy. "✌📫✌✌ 📬📬📬 🕆👍😐 ✡ 💧📬📬📬✡ 💧📬📬📬 🕆👍😐📬📬📬✋❄🕯💧 💧 👎📬📬📬" (A-AAHHNN...OOOH FUCK YES...YES...OHNN...MMMMM...AHHHN...OOOH H-HELL...AHHHN SOO...HHAHH O-OOH...HHNAHNN...SO AMAZING...I-INSIDE...HHHHAAHHNN...AHHH MNNFF...FUCK...IT'S SO GOOD...) "Gaster...Oooooh, Gaster..." "❄ ✌❄🕯💧 💣✡ ✋ 📬📬📬💣✋ 📬📬📬✌ 💣✋ 📬📬📬💧✌✡ ✋❄✏" (THAT'S MY GIRL...MINE...ALL MINE...SAY IT!) "I'm yours! *shaky gasps* Aaah fuck...Gaster!" "lynsie?" Once more Edgy's voice has us freeze and everything stops as he returns to the exhibit. "Uh...H-hey Edgy." "where were you? i was hoping we could see the magic planetarium before we have to...leave? uh...bro?" "✡📫✡ 💧✍" (Y-YES?) "why are you holding her like that?" Our faces flush in deep blushes and Fall is the first to think of a cover story. " 📬📬📬❄ ✋💧✍ 🕈 📪 ✡ 🕆 💧 📬📬📬🕆 📬📬📬 ✡ 💧✋ 👍✌💣 💧❄✌ ✋ ✋ ❄ ✌ ❄ ✡ 🕆 ❄ ✌💧😐✋ ✌👌 🕆❄ 📬 ✡ ✌ 📬 💧 💧📬" (OH...THIS? WELL, YOU SEE...UH...LYNSIE HERE CAME STAGGERING IN HERE NOT LONG AFTER YOU LEFT ASKING ABOUT HER. YEAH. SHE COMPLAINED ABOUT FEELING ILL AND STOMACH PAIN. SO, RATHER THAN RUIN THE CHANCE TO NOT WASTE TIME TEACHING MORONS, I OFFERED MY ASSISTANCE IN RELIEVING HER SAID PAIN. AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO RELIEVE PAIN THAN TO MASSAGE THE TENSION OUT OF THE MUSCLES.) Edgy looks at us unsure. "really?" Quick brain! Play along! "*sighs* As stupid as that sounds..." " ✡📪 🕆👍😐 ✡ 🕆📬" (HEY, FUCK YOU.) "He's telling the truth." "he is?" Now to seal the deal with the one thing that makes all males instantly want things to end without further information. "I didn't know it, but...I started my time of the month and..." "stop! say no more! as long as you're feeling okay, let's just go." "You sure?" Edgy just grabs my hand and drags me away from Fall. Fall blinks a few time in utter shock that it even worked. But then after a little bit, a tingle in his bones had him realize a certain magic is still in effect. A wicked idea comes to him and I know this because, in the middle of the magic planetarium show, a certain member springs to life. I had to claw my chair and bite my cheek to not let Edgy know what was happening. I'd be less mad about it had Fall just stopped there. But then he did it again on the bus ride back to the school. And then in once more in the classroom before everyone left. Yet that's when I got my revenge and fucked him proper till he couldn't think straight. Come to think of it, that might have been all part of his master plan. Eh...Who can really complain about great sex? I know I'm not and neither is he.

[abode-of-hope-and-despair]

So, I haven't posted for weeks and I don't really have time to write anything still. I'm sorry, but college is killing me. I'll give you some more of my older works I haven't published yet, ok?

Danganronpa soulmate au. Korekiyo Shinguji

I'm continuing with my scenario-oneshots! Next is one of my most beloved boys - Kiyo. Hope you like this one!

Warning: mentions of grooming, abuse, because, well, sister

Happy ending tho. There will be happy ending in each of them 'coz I felt like it

~~~

Soulmate AU, where you have the symbol on your wrist that represent your soulmate in one way or another.

You sighed, feeling hurt and cheated. You pulled up the long sleeve of your f/c sweater and gazed upon the symbol, which was engraved on your skin. A human skull with maroon roses. You knew well who it belongs to.

Korekiyo Shinguji, who you met a few months ago.

You were visiting an exhibition in your local museum. You were fond of human history, mythology and culture, no thanks to school. Actually, you got interested in it while browsing Tumblr one night. You stumbled upon an interesting post about Norse mythology and that`s where it all started.

You stopped in your tracks, examining one of exhibits that caught your attention. Then all of a sudden you heard someone mumbling in awe beside you. You wasn`t particularly chatty person, but you decided to strike a conversation. He gladly kept it up and soon you two became good acquaintances. You exchanged numbers and promised to meet up again.

You did. In fact, you and Korekiyo became close very fast. Alarmingly fast. You could feel more and more attached to him with each passing day. He was smart, passionate about anthropology and just handsome despite always wearing his mask. He started out as someone interesting to you. Someone, who could teach you many things in such a way, you`d be pleading for more. You loved his lectures, his stories, and then at some point you started to like him.

You wanted to get to know him.

And good for you, Shinguji wanted to get to know you as well.

One day you mentioned something about yourself and he showed his interest. In the blink of an eye, you were sharing small things about yourself every once and awhile. You still talked about humanity a lot, however, now you were invested in each other’s lives too. It was only the matter of time that you`d know about his sister.

At first, you thought it was cute. He seemed to treasure his sibling a lot.

Then you found out she`s dead and it was sad. Korekiyo didn`t seemed too fazed by it tho. You treated it as a good thing. He must have moved on, accepting her death, you thought.

Time went and you became concerned. There was so much stuff that sticked out to you as something… wrong. Korekiyo talked a lot about his sister, but the more he talked about her, the more you felt as if it wasn`t your normal love between siblings.

You found out that it wasn`t. They were lovers, which wouldn`t throw you off, if not for one thing.

You also realized he was most likely your soulmate.

When you were little you`d often question: what does you symbol mean. It was different from what people around you had. Kids even joked that your soulmate must be undertaker, a crueler ones claimed you`re soulmates with a serial killer. Your mum thought they`d be a doctor or perhaps an archaeologist based on human skull. Though the flowers were always confusing to her.

“Maybe, he is romantic at heart” she told you once.

When you asked your father, he told you your soulmate must be someone who finds beauty in everything. It was quite a poetic answer. And it was the closest one too. Korekiyo could find beauty even in ugliest things. He adored humanity and liked to observe the world around him. He fitted your symbol.

Your human skull with maroon roses.

But he loved his sister. Even after she died, he still did. It was evident and you couldn`t do anything about it. It hurted.

You asked one day if they were a soulmates, but he didn`t give you a straight answer. He said “true love can surpass anything, even these idiotic drawings” or something along those lines. It hurted.

When you were given the full truth, however, it hurted even more. Korekiyo was abused. He was groomed by his own sister and treated it as love. Most of his life choices wasn`t even his. It was his sisters. You couldn`t see the problem before, but now you did. You got enough puzzle pieces to make it into clear picture. And it horrified you.

You tried to be as subtle about it as you could. You wanted him to see, to realize, but was afraid that he`d cut all ties with you, claiming that you “don`t understand”. Korekiyo was dear to you. It wasn`t even bound to soulmate thing anymore. Not much at least. You genuinely loved him and didn`t want to lose him. You didn`t want him to hurt much too. Even if it was hard, you needed to be patient.

You were here for him, trying your best. When he noticed what you were trying to do, you didn`t see each other for a few weeks. Your relationships suffered a hard blow and you honestly thought you`ll never see him again. You even cried.

However, you underestimated the power of bond you already had. Korekiyo was angered and disappointed, it`s true. Someone, who became so close to him doubted the purity of love between him and his sister. There was nothing wrong with it, he believed. You were in the wrong. You didn`t see it the way he saw it and he was sure you would. That`s why he told you everything. He trusted you, you were the second dearest person in his life. He felt betrayed and yet he wanted to know, where exactly you saw the bad in something as perfect and beautiful as his relationships with his sister.

Needless to say, it got him thinking.

The next time you met him you desperately wanted to try and fix things between him and you. You came to his house and that`s where you caught him having mental breakdown. You didn`t know what happened while you were apart and what to do. But you stayed and tried you damndest to comfort him. Korekiyo didn`t let go of you even after you managed to calm him down. You spent the night with him.

In the morning you talked. You had a lot things to talk over. Several times he started crying again and you comforted him. You both came to conclusion that he needs a therapist.

You were looking at little symbol on your wrist. You wanted to show it to him, to say you love him. The problem was, you didn`t know if it`s time yet. Korekiyo was making a progress, slowly healing from his sister’s abuse, sure. You were close then ever before, sure. But was it time to make a move?

You bit your lip. Then you heard the door opening and you quickly hid your symbol under your sleeve. It was him. You smiled gently and he smiled back. Korekiyo stopped wearing the mask not so long ago. Getting rid of it was hard, but he wanted it. He felt insecure without it, yet with it on he felt worse. He still had his bandages on, reason unknown.

He sat beside you on bed and indulged you into hug which your returned. Lately, he became touchy around you. Maybe he was seeking love and comfort he didn`t really received back then. After all, he learned it wasn`t what he thought it was.

He pulled away and by the look in his eyes you knew: there was something he wanted to say to you.

“Y/n, dear” he started “All this time you were here for me, for what I am deeply grateful. At first, you were merely an entertainment of mine, however the more time we spent the greater our bond became. You didn`t leave me that terrible night and I wish you never will. You`re the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me and I don`t want to let you go”.

You fell silent, hearing his words. Your heart was beating fast and you felt like it was a dream.

It wasn`t.

Suddenly, Korekiyo started to unwrap one of his bandage while talking “Remember when I said that soulmate symbols don`t matter? It was…her words, but I do believe in it still. I don`t care whether we are soulmates or not. I don`t care what on your wrist and what was on mine. I love you. And as far as I can see you do too”.

The bandage fell off and you saw what underneath it.

His hand had long fingers, pale skin, and a bunch of white scars scattered around. Not a lot, but enough to made you heart hurt a bit. You carefully took it into your own ones.

Then turned it over.

‘So that`s what he meant’ you thought you couldn`t hate his sister more and here we are.

It was a burn mark, a nasty one. Right on his wrist. You didn`t need a confirmation. You already understood what happened here. You brought his hand to your face and left a light kiss where the mark was. You can see Korekiyo`s eyes widened.

Then he smiled and god, was it beautiful.

You decided it was time. You pulled up your sleeve and showed him your own wrist.

“Pretty sure we are soulmates. But you`re right. It`s only the love that matters. And I love you, Kiyo”.

He took your hand and looked at the small skull with maroon roses. You saw affection filling his eyes, as he kissed your arm the same way you kissed his.

You were truly happy.

However, more importantly - he was too.

[afoolsingenuity]

Sunday Summary // 16.09.2018 (The NYC Recap)

I’m back!

I have no idea what I've missed whilst I’ve been gone and I have started doing the rounds catching up on blogs so if I’ve not stopped by already I’ll try to soon. I’ve got my own blog comments to catch up on too so I am going to be busy! I haven’t even really had time to properly sit down and write up some blog posts so this might be the only post for about a week while I play catch up. I make no promises for being totally back but I’m getting there.

As anyone who has stopped by lately will know I’ve been on holiday! I got back from New York Thursday and let me tell you I was tired after that trip. It was just my mom and me, we travelled up to Manchester last Thursday and flew Friday morning. It was such a wonderful trip. The weather was not brilliant for us. The first day and a bit were probably the best days we had weather wise. We arrived exhausted on Friday, New York is five hours behind us so mentally we were in the middle of the night whilst it was light out. Our flight out was a bit meh, the food sucked (as airplane food always does) and I forgot how ridiculous security is in the US. You feel like a criminal when you get there! We queued for an hour to have our photo and fingerprints taken. It’s my least favourite part of visiting the states because you do feel like you’ve done something wrong before you’ve even got there. We ended up grabbing a taxi to the hotel as we were exhausted. It took forever and it was pricey, we, unfortunately, got there during a busy period I think. It was worth it, though as we were both far too tired to contend with people and figuring out where to go next. We just about managed a stroll around Times Square and grabbed food at the Irish bar next door (also, what’s with all the Irish bars in NYC?) and we crashed out for about 10 hours.

Our first full day in the city was spent walking. Turns out it was the Labor Day Parade the Saturday, neither of us had a clue what it was but I liked the music some of them played. Still not totally sure what it is, though. We also had a long wander around Central Park and along the Avenue of the Americas and Fifth Avenue (until the barriers up for the parade started to annoy us). We ended up walking over 18000 steps that day just strolling about. I was excited to see the Alice in Wonderland statue in Central Park and just to take a stroll around the place as I’ve obviously seen it on TV a lot but it’s totally different to be there. I think if the weather was nicer I could have spent far longer there another day just relaxing but sadly that was not to be. We also took a stroll down to Macy’s that afternoon and looked around the shops. So many shops! We didn’t shop too much that first day, though.

The Sunday was a day of shopping and exploring. It began to rain that day so we decided to take a stroll up to the shops at Columbus Circle. We stopped in a whole bunch of gift shops while we wandered. We got confused as to why TK Maxx was called TJ Maxx and had fun browsing the shoes and clothes there (purchases were made). We then finally got to the shops at Columbus Circle and we were a little disappointed. It was fun browsing the Amazon Books shop and looking around Sephora and that but we weren’t impressed. We eventually wandered back down another street and ended up back in Times Square before taking a stroll around a lot of shops there. American Eagle is my new favourite shop, they need to open over here. Their clothes are so soft and comfy looking! We also discovered our love for the US Urban Outfitters. The clothes may be pricey but they are so nice, and they look much better than the UK ones. I may be trying to figure out shipping and customs duties in my future. We also went to Barnes and Noble and I discovered my hatred of US paperbacks. Guys, you have these adorable little paperbacks which are just awesome (I think you call them mass market paperbacks) and then you have the more expensive horribly floppy paperbacks which are extortionately priced and they get damaged so easily. It makes no sense! I’ve never been so appreciative of UK paperbacks, they are far sturdier and cheaper. You guys need to seriously sort it out. I also went to the place which serves the most epic cheesecakes. We ate at Junior's and let me tell you, that place was rammed! We ended up eating outside, despite the rain, and the service was slow but when it came to dessert I had a chocolate brownie cheesecake and it was amazing! If I was less full I would have demolished the whole thing. I would love to go there again, even if it is a tourist trap.

Monday was the day of culture. It poured with rain and we (smart British folks that we are) decided to walk to the Natural History Museum and we were pretty soaked from that walk. It was a long walk from our hotel, but we wanted to keep our steps up and we hadn’t seen the west side of Central Park and we got to see the Dakota building as my mom had said she would like to see it (it’s fancy looking). I have to say, our expectations for the American Museum of Natural History may have been a touch high. More Night at the Museum and less actual museum. I’m not a huge fan of stuffed animals in general so the nature sections did not appeal as much and that is a large chunk of the museum. The people sections were interesting, though. But there’s also a slice of a giant sequoia tree which was cut down and that was upsetting to see such an old tree (it was like 1400 years old before it was felled) and it was cut down for the railroad! Seeing the destruction we as people cause in history is upsetting. Same as seeing the skeleton of a dodo, a bird which is extinct because we hunted it to extinction! That was horrible to see and to see other animals in danger of extinction too. I think my favourite part of the museum was the space section and the dinosaur sections. Also the mammals and their extinct relative's section. It was so interesting seeing how different animals evolved and how some mammals are linked as well! That was the best part for me by far. We then had the bright idea to walk back in the rain as well. Turns out that was a terrible plan and we were soaked by the end. Rain in NYC is no joke, especially when the wind picks up too. We finished our day going to Cock and Bull home of the best fish and chops in NYC (it was alright, they definitely had a thing or two to learn).

Our final full day in New York we again walked, this time heading down Fifth Avenue until we eventually reached the Flatiron Building, which was pretty cool to see. And then we carried on to the Strand Bookstore and whilst that place was cool (so many books!) I bought not a single one because the place was just too hectic and I didn’t know what I was looking for so I came back with nothing. Also, I learnt US books are kind of expensive, how do you guys do it over there? I much prefer UK books, I think. Hardcovers may bankrupt you but paperbacks are cheap like they’re meant to be and way more durable. It was a nice walk when the rain stopped, though. We also visited another location of my favourite store, American Eagle, and let me tell you that shop could make me poor! We then strolled back to the hotel and had dinner at the other Irish bar next to our hotel (like I said, a lot of Irish bars) and we found the most reasonable priced cider we'd had anywhere. I mean, why is cider not a bigger thing in the US? And why is it called hard cider? I don’t understand. I know we’d had a few imports while we were there so they were going to be pricey but our drinks were always expensive. I did like the Angry Orchard I drank, it was very fruity and different to UK ciders. It was interesting. It wasn’t as sweet as the cider I had on my first night but it was nice.

We finished our trip in the city walking around basically every gift shop in Times Square hunting for a gift for my stepdad and both of us trying to find reasonably priced I

NY t-shirts and an NYPD hoodie for my mom. We took a last tour around Times Square, popped the Hersheys shop for too much chocolate and then got ready for the long trip home. I didn’t sleep Wednesday night at all and we then travelled back from Manchester when we landed. I ended up getting home and was wide awake. My dog was thrilled to see me (sort of, I feel like he was a little angry we left) but he greeted us at the door ball in mouth and ready to play (and slobber all over us). After lazing around the house with him all day I went to bed Thursday night and slept for over 12 hours. It’s safe to say I was sleep deprived.

And that was my trip to New York guys. That is literally the only exciting thing I’ve done this week. I do have a giant bouncy castle obstacle course I’m doing next week so I’ll try and take photos and have an update of that for you guys.

What I’ve Been Reading

I can’t claim to have been reading much lately. These are literally the only books I’ve looked at in the past couple of weeks and I’ve not even finished Prince's Gambit! And they’re both rereads! I guess New York sapped my reading energy completely. I am going to finish my reread of the series as I know I enjoyed it but I am still lacking reading energy while I try to get back into the right timezone.

New To Me

Yes, I have acquired a small number of books in the past couple of weeks. I had to get the next book in the Bridgerton series as I slowly power my way through them (I think I’ve been working my way through those books for the past two years). Next Year in Havana, A Study in Scarlet and A Conspiracy in Belgravia are my Nw York purchases. They were slightly cheaper to buy over there and they are the three books which motivate my hatred for US paperbacks. I’ve had a US paperback before and disliked the feel of it but I forgot how strong my dislike was for them until I bought those three as I feel genuinely cheated by the price when I know they are going to be destroyed after a couple of trips with me to work. Why so flimsy books? Why??? I also had to get Crazy Rich Asians when it was part of a Kindle daily deal. I may not have seen the film yet but I know I will (eventually).

I also got a few ARCs over the past few weeks so I seriously need to get reading (and By Virtue Fall is a finished copy, thank you Piatkus) so I am going to knuckle down and get some review copies conquered (maybe). Mostly romance and I don’t know why I requested Nightblood apart from the fact I’ve read the rest of the series but now I realise I don’t remember the last two books so I don’t want to start reading. Ugh, I need to just crack on and finish a book.

And that is how my holiday went and a recap of everything. What have you guys been up to? Can you explain why US paperback are the worst? Or why cider is not more widely drank in the states? Or why I keep requesting ARCs when I’m meant to be on a ban from Netgalley? So many questions and so little time!

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[germainetrittle86]

Travelling Smart: My 10 Tripping Tips

I love travelling and going on trips – whether they are just short daytrips or long-winded, extended ones. I especially love impromptu, spur-of-the-moment travelling because I need an occasional change of scenery and change of pace, either because I am bored or getting too stressed out in the office. Personally, I think travelling clears my head, making my brain feel so refreshed after. On those long bus rides with landscapes flashing by, I get to daydream, reflect on things, and plan out my daily living. Sometimes, after simply napping during 2-3 hour flights, I end up with a sharper mind. Indeed, I find that long drives and plane rides give me the best quality sleep sometimes. So yes, I travel for both my mental and physical health.

But I am also a staunch believer that there is real value in learning from actual experiences. Visiting new places teaches you many things – from local history and regional dialects, unique cultural heritage of its people, as well as interesting cuisine. And as a writer, I believe there is a story somewhere in each trip. As my creative writing professors said, in each travelogue, there is an external journey and an internal one. I always come back from each trip a changed person.

But I have a few tips for travelling smart. Let me share with you ten rules I travel by:

1.     Work hard, Play hard – Whoever said you can’t mix business with pleasure especially when it comes to trips? Travelling for work is unavoidable, if not inevitable. This fact I have come to accept after decades of travelling for work as a regular Resource Speaker and attending various conferences/trainings abroad for my various advocacies. To make being away from your family for days on end a bit more endurable, try to make your official, business trips more enjoyable by taking time out from your busy schedule to just “see the sites”.

 Don’t worry because it’s a practice for activity organizers/sponsors to always include in the programme a “free day”.  For Filipino hosts, an expression of true hospitality is showing you around local tourist spots they are particularly proud of – from museums, ancestral homes, and heritage sites, to natural wonders or even small-town factories and workshops producing delicacies and souvenir items.  

 The big advantage here is that you actually save on travel costs since your office/conference sponsor already covered your transportation and accommodation expenses. I used to say I am not just a “smart” traveler, I am a typically “cheap” one. All those people who got so jealous of my trips abroad couldn’t believe that, except for my college graduation gift of a Hong Kong-Macau-Bangkok tour, each one that followed after was duly applied for or “by invitation” only. As such, my trips abroad were either organization-sponsored or awarded scholarship grants.

 2.     Go Off-Season – Notice how ticket prices and hotel rates always go up during holidays and summer breaks because that’s when everyone goes on vacation. Tourist “peak season” also brings crowded beaches, long queues at terminals, and heavy traffic. So travel every chance you get, take advantage of long weekends, and especially during off-season. Set aside your accumulated leaves and rest days and go when the crowds are gone.

 The best part of this strategy is that you get the best deals with plane tickets and hotel accommodations. There are big discounts and upgrades to be had for plane fare and even on lodgings. You can also enjoy hotel facilities all to yourself on these dates.

 3.     Stick to the Basics – Decide on what’s your bare minimum on accommodation requirements because you can get reasonable lodgings for less cost. Mine simply include airconditioning, a comfortable bed, and cable TV. Hot showers and wifi access are actually negotiable for me depending on the purpose of my trip. If I am going to be out site-seeing or shopping the whole day, when I get back, all I need is a shower and a place to sleep. These basic amenities make for cheaper accommodations, and they are usually not very spacious rooms. But who needs the space if you’re just going to spend a maximum of 6-8 hours a day there for sleeping, quick showers and changing clothes. So instead of 3-4 star hotels or exclusive resorts, try bed and breakfasts, pensionne inns, or even motels.

 When I am abroad, like Bangkok, Thailand or Singapore, I even don’t mind staying at Red Light District hotels. They are so much cheaper, are accessible by numerous forms of transport, and are surrounded by all-day restaurants and 24/7 groceries. Apparently, having people walking around at all hours of the day sometimes makes for a much safer environment.

 But when push-comes-to-shove and you find yourself in an area without any commercial lodging or restaurant facilities around, always settle for the most important things like a safe place to sleep and decent bathroom plumbing. Clean toilets with sufficient water are non-negotiables for me.

 Some exciting destinations only have “home stays”, or actual residences of locals which offer travelers basic lodgings and meals in exchange for a small fee. This living arrangement makes for a perfect opportunity for some genuine interaction with the locals and a truly unique “immersion” experience when it comes to food.

 4.     Make a beeline, Follow the Leader – Speaking of eating and interacting with local folk, pay attention to where the locals go to eat. Those long queues prove that is where the best tasting food is to be found. And this is a strategy that works especially when you can’t speak the local dialect and not many locals understand English.

 On our first night in Beijing, my fellow conference participants and I went to an upper-class Chinese restaurant hoping they’d have English-translated menus. Unfortunately, they didn’t, and none of the waiters and waitresses spoke English. Since the cooked sauce-covered dishes are virtually unrecognizable as either beef, pork, chicken, or fish-based viands, we were reduced to playing charades and resorting to modified “sign language”. One of us was vegetarian and made a slithering motion with his hands, meaning “fish”. We quickly reminded him to be careful because what he was gesturing seemed a lot like “snake” and they do serve snake dishes in China.

 The next day, we went straight for the “street food” being enjoyed by the hotel staff outside during their breaks. We saw scrambled egg-based, crepe-looking patties cooked in front of you from just a food cart. This was followed by a beeline we made to a street-corner food shop selling assorted “finger-foods” like grilled meatballs, sausage/cold cuts, and crispy mushrooms, They were quite tasty, but virtually unrecognizable from the rumored cardboard box or human fetuses being circulated in media as Chinese food staples.

 But not all epicurean experiences are horror stories; some can be really novel and interesting. In Camiguin island while visiting the famed white sandbar, I got to eat fresh sea urchin for breakfast. Freshly caught and costing only about P15 each, the fisherman chops off the spines before breaking it open to scrape the precious meat inside. In Palawan, every visitor has to sample at least one crocodile meat-based viand. I tried the adobo and sisig versions and discovered that while the meat was fibrous like chicken, there was a fishy after-taste.

 Try to stay away from the popular fast food restaurants you see at home; you can eat that kind of food anytime when you get back. In a new place, always try their local fare and get a taste of their favorite cuisine especially those dishes they are quite known for. It is an experience that is not to be missed because eating local cuisine completes the travel experience for you. It already shows you the unique character of the place – a signature type of cooking for an endemic fruit or vegetable, and even some foreign influences which result in a fusion of sorts.

 So, unless the place is known to have incredibly unhygienic food preparations, try to be more adventurous and tickle your palate with unfamiliar tastes.

 However, I always resort to bottled water though wherever I go, just to be on the “safe” side. And if that’s not available, I make sure a bottle of Coke is on-hand. Coke serves a “preventive” purpose against food allergies, contamination or infection, as well as an emergency remedy and corrective measure when I do get unlucky and get a sudden case of stomach flu.

 5.     Avoid Tour packages - While it is quite tempting to take advantage of tour packages promising big discounts and tour guides, be warned that this is usually attended by a hectic schedule of traveltime and frenetic site-seeing. You end up rushing from place to place without any time to enjoy the sites and take as many photos as you want. Do-It-Yourself (DIY) trips are far better sometimes because you can design and follow your own itinerary.

 If the place is notorious for safety and security issues, better to have a local tour guide with you.  Note that a local tour guide is also a necessity when you can’t speak the language or dialect of the place. Otherwise, DIY tours is the way to go, since they are so much more fun.

 6.     Try Local Transport – Besides the local cuisine, another “must-see” and “to-do” on your list should be the locality’s popular mode of transport. While getting to the place usually entails plane, boat, or bus rides, once you arrive, you need to familiarize yourself with local transport to be able to get around. Abroad, you have no choice but to learn the train, bus, and cable car routes. Here in the Philippines, our unique brand of hospitality plus explicit directives from respective local government units compels local drivers to be friendly and helpful.  Local drivers not only provide you a vehicle, they can also double as tour guides especially if they are proud natives of the locality.

 During my visit to the Camotes islands a few years back, I literally got to travel by air, sea, and land. I got to ride a plane from Manila to Cebu, an ordinary wooden passenger boat instead of a hydrofoil ferry from Cebu City to Camotes, a habal-habal (shotgun on a motorcycle) across the main island of Poro, and finally, a small motorized banca to the farthest Camotes island – Pilar. Going back, I took the other route via Ormoc, since Pilar island is closer to Leyte already instead of Cebu. As such, I got to experience for myself how people actually get to-and-from Camotes island.

 In Puerto Princesa, Tuguegarao and Naga cities, I tried their tricycles to go site-seeing. It was in these locations that I noticed that each place has a trademark design for their tricycles, another unique feature of each place. Fronts of Puerto Princesa sidecars are elaborately decorated to look like cars, complete with insignias, while trikes in Tuguegarao are higher and significantly more spacious than those found in Manila.  

 Up North, kalesas (horse-drawn carriages) are still quite popular as a mode of transport, but they also quite differ. Vigan’s kalesas are quite high, with large metal wheels like karuwahes, and a bit classy with its strong Spanish influences. Meanwhile, Tuguegarao’s wooden kalesas are much smaller and simpler, with wheels still made of hard wood.

 7.     Learn Myths, Legends and Folk Tales – While interacting with locals is a key to getting to know the place, realize that tourist spots and popular cuisine are not the only topic you can discuss. Ask about their local myths and legends; these are usually attached to their local mountain range, or the river or lake running across their locality, or simply how the place got its name.

Visiting Ilocandia during my childhood, my parents used to regale us with stories of the giant, Ang-galo and his giantess-wife. They say up the mountains in Sta. Maria where a popular waterfall is found, a big hole in the shape of a human foot is said to be Ang-galo’s footprint. Meanwhile, along the Ilocos coast near Narvacan, there is a place called Suso Beach, because the mountains form the shape of a sleeping giantess with her breasts pointing up to the skies. Years later, while visiting the volcanic island of Camiguin, an oldtimer relayed to us stories of his ancestors. Fisherfolk used to all go back to the mainland of Cagayan de Oro and Misamis Oriental when darkness falls. While those few who remain on the island shut their windows and doors completely because small, red men with horns and tails are said to climb out of the volcanoes at night.

8.     When in Rome, do as the Romans do – The traditional protocol for travelers – always remember that you are merely a visitor and the locals own the place, so you must respect their way of life there. Be conscious of their practices and be careful not to offend their sensibilities.

 For example, Filipinos love to whistle and make “sitsit” to call one’s attention. Such catcalling is impolite in some cultures. We also love to make hand gestures like making a rectangle with our fingers to ask for the bill after eating, but some places prefer to spell it out for them and ask, “check please”. Even sitting down has certain nuances - in some Asian cultures, it is rude to sit cross-legged, or to do the de-kwarto and point your foot towards them. There are also eating customs such as the Chinese belief that it is not right to turn a fish once one side is consumed. This comes from their belief that it is unlucky for one who will be crossing a bridge home, so someone who isn’t travelling across water is the only one who can turn the fish. Meanwhile, some Westerners are “touchy-feely”, they can get all kissy-kissy (both cheeks even), and just love to hug. But Asians like their personal space and will simply nod, bow or smile. For most Asians, someone touching the top of our heads is a big No-No. When addressing someone older, we have generic terms to show respect even if we don’t know them personally. These are small, simple things but which one must pay attention to.

 9.     Find Best-Buys – The proof of our travels is usually based on our souvenirs – whether they are Tshirts, ref magnets, or key chains. For Filipinos, we have a tradition of bringing goods from home to our Filipino Hosts abroad as a way of thanking them for their hospitality especially if we’re crashing at their place. On the way home, we must also bring something back, so our pasalubong-shopping is a serious matter.

So, don’t fall for tourist traps and their over-priced souvenirs. Find out what the best-buys are and source them out with help from the locals. I have discovered that the wet markets and SM supermarkets have the cheaper food stuffs – from standard dried fish, fruits, breads and biscuits, you can get a better price at these stores.

In Cebu, find out where Taboan is. In Ilocos, check out Vigan market. In Davao, try Aldevinco for those gorgeous batik cloths and ornamental accessories, or go to Magsaysay for the freshest durian, mangosteen, and pomelo.

10. Get that Body Ready – Most trips can be physically taxing from the number of hours of travel time, to change of vehicles, or connecting flights. So you must psychologically and physically prepare yourself. If you know that there will be a lot of trekking, hiking, and climbing to be done on your trip, better get in shape long before your trip. It may be a good idea to start hitting the gym again and stretch out those muscles lest you strain yourself during your travel. Remember, there is always a bit of physical effort to be exerted – from merely lugging your own excess baggage to those long souvenir-shopping and site-seeing walks.

           So there it is – now go off and see the world.  

[bitchdoeseurope]

Concrete jungle, wet dream, tomatoeeee

(Title is a misheard Alicia keys lyric. Just in case anyone was wondering)

Day three started a bit more fabulous. I felt below average but better than the zombie like state I've been in. I got a donut and hot choc for breakfast (because I'm super healthy and everything here seems to be on the go for breakfast) and headed on to MoMa. The museum of modern art. Now I didn't have long here so I smashed it out.

The top floor was an exhibition "is fashion modern?" And surprisingly I found it really cool, the main gist of it was that everything in fashion comes from something from past fashion or another culture and is recycled to create a "new" piece. It discussed ideas like how the little black dress changed the colour black from only being about mourning to also being a sign of elegance, how a white t shirt can be casual or smart depending how you dress around it and how clothes generally are a canvas of expression for most people. It was a really cool concept.

The next level had some classic art works. I'm a bugger though because I'm not very good with stopping to read the descriptions of pieces, I tend to think that art shouldn't have to be explained - you either get it or you don't. The highlight here was van goghs starry night 👌🏻

The next two floors focused on Louise bourgeois who did a lot of sketches, print work, fabric work and sculpture work. She was apparently quite fascinated with arachnids (spiders) and compared them to her mother (in a loving way. Kind of odd). The coolest part of all this was the big ass spider and cage sculpture that sat in the middle of a room. Inside the cage was tapestries from Louise's own collection and little trinkets hung down as well. It was just a funny looking piece and I enjoyed it.

Headed down to the sculpture garden and of course my favourite piece here was the big ass fuck off rose. It was huge. 👌🏻

By this point I had really raced through the museum but I was also somehow at the exit and really could not be bothered with the mass crowd that was lining up to go upstairs again. So I went for a stroll instead. I walked past the flat iron building as well as the public library and Maddison square park. Why did you walk all this way alison ? Well fam, I was going to get another tattoo. (Soz not soz dad).

I eventually (let's not say how long it took) got to the studio and met my artist, Miko. Miko is a fucking godddddd at scriptwork and this is why I had chosen her. Now, before I reveal the tatt (is only little I promise) I need to explain its significance because if not it just looks "white girl". So, as many of you may know... I'm a philosophy major ✌🏻. In my third year of uni I did a unit on stoic and epicurean (Ancient Greek) philosophy. Basically the epicureans had this concept of "ataraxia" as the idea of what one should strive for in order to live a happy life. And by happy the didn't mean like all smiles and excitement but a sense of peace and calm within oneself. Ataraxia is freedom from physical pain and mental anxiety. This Greek word translates roughly to "tranquility". Now, I'm not saying I'm a calm or peaceful person but I think it's a pretty fucking good thing to aim for.

Post tattoo I got an uber to the American museum of natural history !! I was so excited for this and then I got real fucking pissed off. So I prepaid for my ticket. Turns out the fucking Ross geller archeologist of the year awards were on so half the Shit was closed, and entry was fucking free. Was pissed me off the most was the main entrance that you see in "night at the museum" WAS OFF FUCKING LIMITS. IM SO MAD ABOUT IT. I JUST WANTED TO SEE REXY GOD DAMN IT. needless to say I'll try to find time (god fucking knows when) to go back and abuse them into letting me in. Anyway, I had gotten a ticket to see "dark universe" in the dome thingy they have there. If you ever want to feel motion sick whilst also having an existential crisis then this is the place for you !! It's fascinating to hear about how large the *observable* universe is and that less than 5 % of shit is actual matter, then rest being dark matter and dark energy but it is equally terrifying to consider how microscopically small we are in comparison. Yay?

After this I wandered around - where I could - problem was I wasn't given a map, there was none on the walls and I couldn't connect to wifi to download their stupid fucking app. So aimlessly I went from room to room. And I'll admit there was some cool (creepy) animals and some interesting looking world culture stuff, and I did find the exhibit that Ross and Rachel boinked in!!!! But I was still a little (a lot) heart broken at the management of it all. I was starting to cough and splutter again and could feel myself burning up something terrible. So I sat down in front of a mineral display and mum called me. So for about 40 minutes I looked at rocks. If that doesn't describe my state of 0-energy I don't know what does.

Uber again to go to the theatre! By this stage my cheeks were on fire 🔥 I stopped to get some food and ordered way too fucking much - didn't realise a"side" of broccoli was going to be an entire head of the stuff!!! And then I trundled off the Anastasia.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Everyone needs to see this show. It was fucking glorious. The costumes were BEAUTIFUL. The set design and technical elements were ducking flawless. And the story itself was so magical !! The stage play is adapted from the Disney movie and another movie version and it was just so bloody wonderful I can't put it into words. It wasn't the kind of thing that makes you want to get up and dance every song but it takes you on a journey from Russia to Paris on the most gorgeous ways 😍😍 there was comic relief, there was a villain who learns to not be a dick, there was love and loss and just go see it okay ?!

So again I walked back to the hotel and made my way to bed. Deciding to spend this morning right here while I try to mend myself a little bit. Wish me luck !!

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Extensive Ramble/Rant Regarding How to Fix The Mummy (2017)

Forward:The movie wasn’t terrible, it just could have been (and should have been) a LOT better. These are in no particular order and wouldn’t all work together in the same movie, but are changes that I feel would’ve made the movie significantly better.

1: They never should have gone to London. Believe me when I say this, I am a HUGE England fan, like beyond fan-status to creepy-stalker-status. I'm an American born-and-raised but my room is entirely decorated in Union Jacks and other misc. English stuff. I'd pay a million dollars to have been born English. So believe me when I say they never should have gone to London.

It added nothing to the overall story save that it was where Prodigium (the fancy monster hunters club that Jenny and Dr. Jekyll are a part of) was located. This movie is called the Mummy, it should have remained in Iraq where the sarcophagus was initially found OR been taken to an off-site, maybe temporary, base for Prodigium in Egypt perhaps. It should have remained in a Middle-Eastern desert area to keep the setting.

The only real reason I can find for them going to London (beyond the plot point about the Crusaders that I'll mention next) is that every movie goes to London these days. Why? I don't know. It's an amazing place surely, but so is a million other places on the planet. Why they always choose London, I don't know.

2: The Crusaders shouldn't have been involved. Unless I've seriously forgotten, I don't believe it was ever actually explained WHY some random crusaders had Ahmanet's ruby OR her dagger. It just seemed so random and clearly was meant as only an excuse to take them to London.

I suppose it could be argued that they stole it during the Crusades however it makes very little sense why they would intentionally separate the ruby from the dagger and bury them in two different places, or if they somehow knew it was an artifact of evil then HOW do they know? It's never explained, and it should have been, or avoided altogether by just keeping crusaders out of the story completely. There's too much missing context and/or history that overall makes their addition fall flat.

3: The movie should have opened with sex. As is with pretty much all supernatural action movies, it's the power of love that drives the main character to win the fight. This is totally fine, completely expected, and sometimes strangely a welcome addition to a movie. Except, there actually needs to be a love connection for this to work.

Honestly, at no point in the movie do I actually feel that the love between Jenny (Annabelle Wallis) and Nick (Tom Cruise) is real. Frankly, I'm STILL convinced that before that scene in the beginning where she accuses him of stealing her map, they had never met and she was just making up the whole damn thing about the hotel room sex.

The movie should have opened up with them in the alleged hotel room having sex and then when morning comes he slips away with the map and him and Chris (Jake Johnson) go out into the desert in search of treasure. Even if it was just a brief scene chopped up into a 10-second clip, that still would have added some potentially significant character development to both Jenny and Nick, as well as some much needed relationship development.

Because there was little to no development for their romance, it made the scene at the end where she dies and he stabs himself with the dagger to become Set fall completely flat. She comes across as nothing more than an acquaintance throughout the movie, one not worth becoming the Egyptian God of Death to bring back to life for.

4: Jenny should have stayed dead. As I said, some of these may be conflicting and this one might conflict a bit with the last one but actually doesn't have to completely if you want to develop the relationship and then kill her off.

I should preface, it's not that I don't like Annabelle Wallis, she's a good actress, attractive, and someone I could in theory see a typical Tom Cruise character hooking up with.

However, Jenny is not a good character. In one scene she's telling Nick that she thinks they pissed off the old gods, something that if anyone said in the real life you'd think they were completely mental, but in the very next scene she's in, when Nick is telling her he's seeing Ahmanet and that he's cursed she think's he is the mental one.

Now if she's lying then of course the obvious question is WHY is she lying when she literally just mentioned something about pissing off actual gods just a minute ago, but if she's not lying and genuinely thinks Nick is crazy then again WHY when she works for an actual monster-hunting secret society that deals with crazy monsters and curses all the time?

This is a trope I see in Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Supernatural movies, shows, books, games, etc. ALL THE TIME and it's a really obnoxious one. You live in a world where you are completely aware that monsters, or magic, or other unbelievable things exist and yet when someone you know says they have seen something equally unbelievable YOU DON'T BELIEVE THEM. It's infuriating. You know monsters exist, so why would you be so surprised that your friend has seen one? You wouldn't!

5: Nick shouldn't have gotten away at the end. Given their casting choice (which I'll mention in the next one) this idea is definitely an unlikely scenario but just hear me out.

Assuming Jenny stays dead in this improved version, after Nick stabs himself with the dagger, becomes Set, and kills Ahmanet, he should have gone over to Jenny's lifeless body and been upset over her death, and then immediately have been caught by Dr. Jekyll and Prodigium with the movie ending with Nick being locked in one of their cells as Nick, possessed by Set, yells at the camera.

It was unlikely because obviously Tom Cruise is supposed to be the face of this upcoming cinematic monsterverse, but I think it would have been significantly better had he been caught by Prodigium. Hell, the next movie could open with Dr. Jekyll interrogating Set/Nick about Jenny's death. Who better to understand a man with evil inside of him than Dr. Jekyll himself? The next movie could be about finding a way for Nick to bring Jenny back but having to do so while helping Prodigium locate another monster, all while dealing with the literal God of Death inside of him occasionally possessing him for a time.

6: Nick's character shouldn't have changed dramatically by the end. This one might take some explaining, as I'm not saying he shouldn't have grown by the end of the movie because obviously he should. All character should, especially when they've just been introduced to the existence of monsters, dark magic, and real Egyptian gods.

What I am saying is that the character we are introduced to from the very beginning is not the same character we see at the end. From the beginning, we have a sleazy guy who slept with a woman to get a map that leads to ancient artifacts he can steal to sell online for profit. In other words, he's basically an overall bad guy.

He's also not implied to be very intelligent throughout most of the movie, not to say he's dumb as a rock but he isn't very clever or wise. He isn't the Indiana Jones or Nathan Drake type of ancient treasure hunter who deciphers ancient texts and follow history to find hidden artifacts to put in museums later, he's the Aladdin type of treasure hunter who stumbles across treasure or needs a direct map to it and when he finds it he immediately thinks to use it for selfish gain.

In the end however, this seems to change because suddenly he can put two-and-two together that stabbing himself with the dagger will turn him into a god so he can fight off Ahmanet, and that he can use this god's power to bring Jenny back to life, and that he has to run away before Prodigium sees him because he knows they'll capture and/or kill him immediately for being Set.

This could be argued as me being nit picky and if so then so be it. I don't think Nick's character as shown to us throughout a majority of the film is nearly smart enough or capable of the self-awareness required to be able to do all of those things. This is another reason why he shouldn't have gotten away in the end of the film, because he shouldn't have known that he should have run in the first place.

Yes, yes I understand that the signs were all sprinkled throughout the film that Prodigium would kill him to stop Set, that the dagger would turn him into a god, and that this particular god was the god of death. I still don't think his character should have picked up on those signs, or at least his character should have been described as more of an Indiana Jones/Nathan Drake type character instead of a petty for-profit thief that he's portrayed as.

7: It shouldn't have been called the Mummy. I don't actually have an idea or suggestion for what it should have been called instead, but it just shouldn't have been called the Mummy. Contextually it makes sense given the movie is about a mummy, however the obvious comparison to be made is to the older Mummy movies with the same name despite them not really being all that comparable.

The older films were significantly more comedic in nature and played off as more of an Indiana Jones film if Indiana Jones brought his whole family for his adventures (and no I'm not comparing Crystal Skulls to The Mummy movies). Calling this movie the Mummy, while it recruits hype from any fans of the older films, would ultimately harm this movie given that it's nothing like those movies and would likely garner spiteful ratings by those who saw it believing it to be like the older movies.

It'd be like if I made a movie about a sci-fi treasure hunter and named it Indiana Jones. The only direct links are that his name is Indiana Jones and that they're both treasure hunters, but obviously my movie is nothing like the old Indiana Jones movies because mine is set in space with a sci-fi setting. Ultimately I would just be shooting myself in the foot naming it Indiana Jones.

[thewanderingmacy]

Prague

We’re almost caught up as I was in Prague under a week ago, from the 18-25.

Prague was really pretty. it met all my high expectations in terms of architecture and visual appeal. 

The first day I visited the medieval Jewish Quarter. It was surprisingly busy (like packed, wait in a lineup for 30 minutes busy) but I think it’s because I came at a time when a lot of tour groups were arriving. I saw the old synagogue and then walked a bit further (not much though because, as per usual, the jews were confined to a small space) to a memorial for the Czech victims of the holocaust, an old (massive!) Jewish Cemetery and 3 more synagogues/museum type spaces. I didn’t expect it to take so long but I was exploring the Jewish territory for about 3 hours before I headed to the city square for a tour. I actually had to rush, too (good for me for getting my Jew on). I was actually looking for a souvenir for my Jewish grandmother but I didn’t recognize any of the things. It was confusing me because I couldn’t tell if something was a Czech souvenir being sold in a synagogue or it was a Jewish icon. (Don’t worry, Huna- I’ll find something!). I arrived in the town square which was very pretty and lively and felt very Renaissance-y with a lot of pastel colours and decorative fronts, with a large Medieval cathedral in the background and the famous Prague clock providing the only dark buildings. I joined the walking tour for about 30 minutes (20 of that was the company just organizing us into two groups to start). My tour guide had a mullet and made us touch the cobblestone ground to “feel the beating heart of Europe”. That, combined with the fact that it was like 7 degrees in the middle of April, was too much for me and I left. I also really wanted to explore the town square, as their Easter market went on for a week so all the stalls with cute gifts and food were open. I got myself some apple cider. They also had a hot apple wine and for a second I thought i accidentally got that but I was in the clear. I chugged that down and then got a sausage for lunch. I took about 8 million photos before heading to the old town hall where the history of the town hall was laid out. I bought a ticket for a tour an hour from then and explored the tower, with the famous clock. I walked up the top and satisfyingly read all the cards explaining the detailed history of the town hall. I gotta say, I have a weird obligation to fully understand the place I’m in/the history I’m in, even though, most of the time, I don’t really want to read the plaques and what not, or see the statues, or sometimes even the cathedrals (I must have seen at least 50 by now), but I do it to satisfy my future self, knowing that I properly grasped the place, if that makes sense. Whenever I see a hill, I don’t want to climb it no matter what’s on top but I always suffer just to check it off my list of sights, and I always feel guilty when I don’t go through with something. Speaking of not going through, I never did the tour of the clock tower that I had a ticket for. It came with the ticket to visit the tower and was at a weird time, as I still had exploring to do. But I did walk up (elevator down, though) and get a great panoramic view of the town square. After that, I explored the surrounding area, did a wee bit of shopping (I found a shirt that I’d been looking for in Ireland so I figured I had to buy it), before heading back to the hostel.

I spoke a bit about the girls in my dorm room. There was a nice, normal British girl above me whom I spoke to for a bit. She was taking a week off from her job, as it was Easter so she had a long weekend and just extended it. I think the following night I met the two other girls I mentioned, the one from New York and the party girl who was English, but raised in NYC so she sounded American. She’d just completed her degree in Switzerland too and was headed to Miami in July for a job in hospitality. The (full on) NYC girl was nice and very friendly but she spoke strangely. She kind of sounded like a dumb person trying to sound smart all the time. She’d make comments on Jews, and Israel, saying you can’t claim something you left behind but I was I don’t think the Jews left voluntarily? I don’t know, she was kind of innocent and simple and overly open, as in she told her all about her family. She was nice and offered me a place to stay if I’m ever in New York, and I could tell she was like a decently aware person in terms of liberal views but she just tried really hard or something. It’s hard to describe her but overall, she was friendly and had a good core, though seemed a bit misinformed whenever she spoke. The British-NYC-party girl seemed decent enough (I don’t really care about the partying thing so much as a character defining trait, while it does admittedly make relate to her less) but then she started talking about how she hates fat people and I was like Ok? so you’re a bad person, I can see that now. The most normal girl, the 100% british girl said she hated fat people too and me and the NYC girl were silent as they gushed over how much they hated fat people. Like first of all, that’s super offensive and inconsiderate because it literally has nothing to do with you and second of all, you were “blessed” (for lack of a better word) with being thin so you have ZERO idea what someone who wasn’t is going through. The reason I say that last part is because the party girl actually said “I don’t have an appetite, I don’t even like to eat most of the time”. Like bitch, that isn’t something to brag about. It is super mentally and physically unhealthy to treat eating as a trivial. Also, that fact that you say that to strangers is an obvious power move (as we were talking about our favourite foods, a conversation I was actually happy to participate in) to assert yourself as above us who are subject the horrors (read: gaining weight) of eating. Anyway, she just pissed me off and, at the time I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure what to say, but I thought about it a lot and determined that she’s a fucked up, privileged and just downright unintelligent asshole.

Alright, now back to Prague. one day I went to the Castle quarters where I explored the old cathedral and the government buildings, and the old palace. I bought a ticket for a tour there, which I actually went on, and got a decent understanding of the space as it had purposes beyond housing royalty such as the government being situated there as well. I also saw a cute area of it called The Golden Lane which was made up to look like an old medieval street with artifacts and rooms decorated as they would have been. I’m not sure if the buildings were actually authentic as well, though, and I had to rush to catch my tour. Another day, I explored the Charles Bridge and around the west side of the bridge were a lot of cute art shops were, as well as parks and a stunning 17th century garden with more great pano views. Another day, I went to the Troja Palace and the Prague Botanical Gardens, as well as a memorial on a MASSIVE hill that almost killed me. The palace was empty except for the fresco ceilings and walls but man were they gorgeous. I also got in for $0.20, I don’t know why the ticket guy charged me the price of a child under 5 but I’ll accept it. I took so many photos of the interiors and of the gardens, I keep posting them on instagram because they really took the cake in terms of bare interior design. I also climbed a massive hill to the botanical gardens, as well as a greenhouse though I don’t know why I did that- I thought it’d be more adult oriented but it was just filled with small children and butterflies. The memorial that I hiked to was so steep, I remember wanting to sit down on the paved road. And, by that point, I’d seen enough good views so I was just tired. Oh, also on this day (damn I was busy that day), I went to a mall and had some amazing Chinese food- fried chicken and rice with a sweet sauce, and saw the movie The Lost City of Z. I can’t tell how I feel about it though because, as I was watching it, I kept thinking the pacing is strange and the character isn’t very dimensional and then at the end it said “based on a true story” so I have to reevaluated everything I processed with that new context.

A different day, I’d planned on going to a market and visiting the New Town (for reference, the old town was surrounding and including the town square and the New Town, though still a couple hundred years old at least, was south of there) but I woke up and, after trying to update my phone, it stopped turning on. It was a Saturday too, of course, so nothing but an apple store in a mall was open, so that’s all I did that day, really, besides visiting an antique fair where everything was expensive. But! at the fair, there was a booth for fashion from the 1850′s-1920′s with a flyer for a museum space by the castle that showcases clothing items from those periods. The employee at the booth spoke at me in Czech for a few minutes and I just nodded because, at that point, it was too awkward to tell her I didn’t understand. I did end up going to the fashion museum and had a good time. The employee there spent about 30 minutes with me, going over the pieces which I enjoyed.

On the last day, I visited a massive park west of the river, where the library and monastery were. Again, it was a hike but this time it actually had some sicker that usual views. I had to wait for some hoes taking photos at one stop and, after waiting for literally 5 full minutes, I just snuck in beside them and took them because they were being rude and inconsiderate, so I was too. I visited the sites at the top of the hill, including the very pretty libraries for mother. I’d been trying to get to a nice library for a well. There was one in Oxford but it was only accessible by tour so I didn’t go, I tried to go to one in Dublin but the doors were locked when I got there, and at another place in Prague, the library was closed for renovation, so I was glad to see at least one beautiful library.

I mostly (pretty much only) eat in now. I treat myself maybe once every week to a meal out. I got a chicken schnitzel and some potatoes in Prague which were delicious and cheap ($5!). I had a lot of PB and J sandwiches and testing out some pasta dishes. I tried an Alfredo sauce which was nasty (I also got the wrong milk- some Slovenian bs and some gross, tart cheese which looked like feta but was clearly not), as well as some butter and mozzarella but the butter is weird, and, later on, I tried tomato sauce that was gross. I was struggling to say the least. I’ve gotten a bit more used to my options here- hot dogs and, today, mac and cheese. Snack wise, I’ve been going to town on Nutella and pretzels. 

Well, I think that’s it for now.

Macy