#his solo blog is like the only one i don’t want to get rid of sobs

[swirlings]

will be revamping on @benedkt later this evening ,,, i miss him

[rainbowsky]

1) While avoiding posting kadian makes sense, a bad photoshop like this only brings negative attention. 2) The number 2 is clearly visible on one picture, the number 3 on two pictures. If they don’t want turtles to clown, why not at least remove the number 3 completely? 3) It’s possible that it's just a demand from the brand (the jacket is a very limited edition and is on sale at the moment, and i don't think the one yibo is wearing was gifted to him so the visible serial nb might be a problem)

Sorry, I somehow got this backwards, here's the first part of your ask:

Anonymous asked: Hey rbs, I absolutely love your blog! This is not really an ask but more like something I’d like to share anonymously: I think a lot of turtles are overreacting about the 32/33 thing. Unless it happens multiple times, it’s impossible to know if the editing was made to remove possible kadian. A few things I'd like to point out:

First of all, thanks for your kind words, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog! 😊

I don't normally reply to these kinds of asks because they're not asks. My inbox is for questions, not a place where people can anonymously post things on my blog that they don't want to post on their own blogs. Everyone has the ability to post their own opinions on their own blogs, and if they're just wanting to reply to a post I've made, they can do so in the comments. It's not necessary to be anonymous just to share a few ideas like this.

However, in this case I just disagree with this take and feel the need to point out why.

First and foremost, no, turtles are not overreacting. YBO has always felt like an ally up to this point, and this definitely looks conspicuously like an attempt to get rid of candy. Such a thing hasn't happened before, so of course turtles are going to be pissed off/worried.

As for the points you made:

The bad photoshopping did bring negative attention, for sure. Just because it was a controversial move by YBO, doesn't mean their motive for doing it wasn't about candy. And anyway, if turtles are right and DD's team is caving to solo demands, all that negative attention from turtles would only serve to publicize to the solos that YBO is doing what solos have asked.

The fact that they didn't seem to discriminate about which numbers to edit out only proves their intent was to eliminate the candy. The number 2 alone isn't that meaningful. The number 3 alone is a bit more meaningful, but not a big deal. The numbers 2 and 3 together are a candy.

It has absolutely nothing to do with the brand wanting the number hidden. All the video and photos from other representatives at the event clearly show the number. If the brand didn't want to associate the number with DD they wouldn't have let him wear the jacket. And it makes no sense for them to be against DD being seen with the number, because his association with it would only make the jacket more valuable in people's eyes.

Of course this is just my opinion.

You're entitled to your own opinion and perspective, but I hope you'll be sensitive to the fact that turtles are hurting right now, and not rub salt in their wounds by downplaying the validity of their feelings. There are plenty of times when turtles overreact to things. It's happened a lot in the past. But you might want to read the room a bit, my friend. Given the removal of CQL from his profile and then the editing of these photos, I think it's very fair to say that this situation is unprecedented in the fandom, and fans are right to be concerned.

Having said that - it's not a time to panic. Panic won't help anything. I've got another post coming about that in a minute so I'll link that here once it's posted.

EDIT:

OK, first of all, here's the link to my post about not panicking.

Second, I think people are taking this post about photoshopping as evidence of YBO being nasty or harming DD. Please don't interpret it that way. As I said in the notes for this post, it's probably more of a good cop/bad cop thing, where DD is still being his normal self and choosing his kadian numbers and showing his candies, while YBO is giving him cover and appeasing solos.

It's entirely possible they're providing cover for DD to his solos, while working with him to show that the candy is being hidden. Maybe the crudeness of the photoshopping was intentional, an act of defiance to draw attention to the removal of the kadian while still providing plausible deniability for solos. We just don't know, so let's give them the benefit of the doubt.

It's likely that YBO are in between a rock and a hard place as well. It's possible DD and YBO are trying to work together to thread the needle between keeping turtles happy and keeping solos happy. Let's not demonize his team. That wasn't my intention here.

[rennsdeaddoves]

Introducing something new. A guide.

here we go again kiddos! buckle up, it's gonna be a long one!

so i had a poll out a few days ago (that I have since deleted) and it had several options of fanfiction's i had wanted to introduce to my blog, and the two with the most votes would have been introduced. i was planning on keeping the poll up for three days but two day's in and i only had 13 votes. so i sent out a new one asking if you wanted descriptions to the fics and ya'll said yes. so here we go.

this guide will always be up and linked in my pinned post, so you never had to fear about losing it. if and when i make more fics I'll update the list, and I will always refer to this list/guide when i wanna introduce a new fic to the blog.

before we begin though i have a rating system for my fics, i like to write dark so i have a scale;

it's not bad but- = it’s light, not much gore maybe some trauma for spice. But otherwise technically could be 13+ (not including smut) at best

Trauma o’clock = it gets worse. 16+ (not including smut) more trauma and gore for the characters and in the story

wounded dove = it’s pretty bad. But not to the point of dead dove. But still pretty bad.

Our doves are rotting = dead dove do not eat all the way, it’s a gore fest in here. Morals we don’t know her.

if you see ✅ beside a fic or series title, i have added it to my blog already.

I'll colour code the list, so the colours that the ratings are will correspond with the rating of the fic, ight? ight. and if a title is still white then the rating is undecided.

i'll be tackling the solo fic's first (the ones that are not part of a series) and then I will get to the series.

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The Will of Gods and Monsters - Hellsing Ultimate ✅

summary - what is the human will? The age-old argument is of whether humans have free will at all, but if you want to go deeper, what about the Gods we serve? And what of the monsters they create?

Father Alexander Anderson makes choices that hurt him, he fixes those choices and eradicates all love for anyone except God. Though it is debatable who his god is.

Aireth made a choice in her young life to explore the world and subsequently got tangled up with a Lord by the name of Vlade Tempest, or Vlad the Impaler, she made an oath, by choice, and it continues to bite her in the ass even after she thinks she’s rid herself of it.

Finally, Abbadon. She seems to have no free will of her own, constantly controlled by the ones who took her as a child she never gets to make her own choices. Until she did, and the glass was broken.

It can be argued that humans have free will, Integra willingly killed her Uncle to save Hellsing, Walter willingly serves as her butler.

But what of the monsters under her control? Alucard, Aireth, Saris? What of the gods? Anderson, Seraph? Is their will their own?

the relationships in this fic are; Father Alexander Anderson x oc and the Captian x oc. this is a dead dove do not eat fic, there is human experimentation, nazi's (its Hellsing), lots of non-con/dub-con elements, attempted rape, and cannon-typical violence. this story is definitely not for the faint of heart but the characters I've made for it are super close to my heart and some of the best OC's I've made.

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Wait No Longer - Cult of the Lamb

gonna be honest this one doesn't have a description to it (it's not as developed as my other one lmao) but I do have vague ideas for it that a lot of my friends think are pretty interesting. it is a Narinder (the one who waits) x oc. and mainly takes place before lambert. idk the rating yet (haven't decided how dark i wanna go with it but it does have cult stuff in it) i'd likely put in in wounded dove

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And No One Saw It Coming - Puss in Boots the Last Wish

summary - Kitty and Perrito get to Puss while he is still stuck in the cave of souls, while death still hunts him down like a cat would a mouse, or a wolf would a cat. 

In the ensuing scuffle, the three find out that even Death can have a wish, and Goldie and Jack are dealt with, they actively seek Death out and ask if they can somehow help grant his wish. If they can help find who he longs to see again. 

Of course, Lobo scoffs at them. He’s a very busy wolf and doesn’t have the time for this, but something in the back of his mind won't stop gnawing at him and eventually he caves, Accepting the tabi’s offer for help. 

Lobo (death) x oc, there is manipulation, illness, and maybe more, this is actually one of the newer fic's i have created for the movie .

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Determination of the forsaken - Kung Fu Panda

again no summary (for some reason-) even though this fic is pretty old, but what I can tell you all is that a dragon falls from the heavens, Oogway finds her as her form changes to fit in the mortal world. it is a Tai Lung x oc, and the oc is trying to discover who she was before Oogway and Tai.

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This Never Ending Nightmare We Must Call Life - Little Nightmares  ✅

summary - the Maw was where they lived and where they were supposed to die. But fate had another idea and kept one alive. Those on the Maw named her Key as they thought she was the key to saving them all from this twisted world. However, a strange signal pulses in her head and she is drawn to the land, heading for a place with towering buildings and pale skies;

Key makes a journey that should have never been made in the first place.

guys.... there is so much manipulation and gaslighting in this fic... i was really in my gaslight era. BUT ANYWAY its a Thin Man x oc fic, super dark, i think there was some elements of dub-con, also major character deaths and suicidal ideation. all i know was that it was dark. but like Thin Man

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Let me give the world to you  ✅

Xeno sees how Goku interacts with Goten the omni-king decides that his gods need that joy in their lives as well. So under the order of their father, the grand priest and the omni-king the angel attendants go and find suitable children for their gods.

when Bulma catches wind of the situation is she quick to pull several older kids who had been absolutely screwed over by the foster system for Whis to look at. One girl who has bruises all over her face and looks like a walking corpse catches his eyes.

in which renn exposes the foster system through dbz lmao. there will be drug use, pedophilia, non-con, dud-con, crimes, and a lot of trauma. but our girl will heal, after all, its amazing what a child can grow into if given the proper care isn't it

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With Withered Wings and Broken Bones

Nightmare Before Christmas fic where Jack adopts a kid with major ptsd involving divorce and Sally is cheating on him. everything is a mess, Jack eventually becomes a really good dad and then Ooggie comes back for his revenge

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You Thirst for Blood from the Roses in Hand

totk Ganondorf x oc who was an un-named slave girl before shit went sideways, she got flung into the past with Zelda and somehow met the gerudo king before being taken as his servant and then proving herself a grater asset then she got flung back into the present and after getting a taste of freedom and power the murdering started

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now we get into the fanfiction series, so these all contain more than one fic, and if the fics have descriptions I'll put em in.

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Set in Sand but not in Stone - Encanto

*gasp* a green title!!! who new i had the balls to write something like this!!! (lol)

fic one; How to Survive While Seeing the Future - a guide by Bruno Madrigal

summary - Growing up in the Encanto is all he has ever known, there was no outside world, just the small, but still large, home that they were slowly building. There were many kids their age or just a little younger in the community now that it was growing so well, but none stood out more to Bruno Madrigal than Mariposa Lucia Neva. And of course, his two sisters always noticed.

fic two; This Little Miracle of Mine

this fic doesn't have a summary but it involves the actual movie and Bruno and Mariposa have a child.

obv Bruno Madrigal x oc, and guy's looking back at the discord chats for this thing it is cute and mmmmmm. its just a lil trauma sprinkled here and there but the hurt comfort is hurt comforting.

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Creature Series - Moon Knight  ✅

fic one - Haunted by a Darker Side

summary - The Gods were never reliable in any sense for Nem. her mother prayed and believed but she never did, she thought it was a waste of time and took matters into her own hands. Unfortunately taking things into your own hands will often get you into much more trouble than it's truly worth. 

It was only when Nem really feared for her life that she prayed for the first time, it was only after running from guards with the shiver of the Pharaoh’s last words running through her mind, the moon clear above her as she lay dying in the sand that she truly prayed.  

“Oh Lord Khonshu, god of the moon, Protector of the travellers of the night. Please protect my mother and brothers in my absence, watch over them when I could not.  I beg of you if you are real please, please do this, I'm sorry I never believed or worshipped. I offer the rest of myself to you if you can do this one thing for me-”

What Nem was not expecting was a response to her prayer; 

“Why don’t you protect them yourself? It would be a shame to die on a nice night like this. Allow me to keep you alive Nem of Iken”

She should have known there would be strings attached to that offer… 

fic two - Transcends to Walking in the Light

summary - Nem would not let Khonshu be turned to stone, so with Anubis’ help, she announced that she was with child, a new god or goddess of the Ennead. Khonshu must live to raise the child, as Nem would not be able to handle it on her own unless they wanted a rouge god on their hands. 

Begrudgingly they agree, freeing her God, but this freedom comes at a price. 

“You must marry Khonshu, we cannot have a god be born naturally out of wedlock.” 

At least it didn’t need to be conceived within wedlock- but these terms are easily agreed to by both parties. Now the next chapter of Nem’s patronage to Khonshu begins, 

With her as his Queen. 

fic three- And Slowly I'm Recovering

summary - Most agree that on any given night the moon is beautiful, it always has been and always will be. So why was it that Casper could never face it? Did it have something to do with a past she didn’t want to relive and a personal mission that had yet to be completed? Yes, yes it did. But she is too stubborn to admit that aloud. 

So when she gets mixed up with a nice fellow named Steven Grant and his life, her past with the moon god Khonshu comes to a head. And what she's been running from all this time is right in front of her, she just needs to face it with the honour she once had. 

fic four - The Beauty of Discovering

no summary but domestic fluff and chaos ensues.

GUYS I HAD THE BIGGEST BRAIN WHEN COMMING UP WITH THESE NAMES ON GOD I DID!!! if you haven't listened to the song Creature by Half Alive then what are you doing with your life?? anyway these titles come from the end of that song (it is one of my faves) and the lyrics describe what it happening sooooo well!!! i was so fucking proud of myself

anyway this is a Khonshu x oc, there is some pretty shitty stuff that happens in each of the fics that warrant the rating i have given it, but its not to the point that it's dead dove.

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have you heard the golden records? series - Transformers Bayverse

there are five fic's for the five movies, and the rating is split because one of the fic's has human experimentation and two of them have child abuse (maybe three) i only have the summary for the first fic, and while each fic covers a movie in the franchise it also covers a lot more, like the before's and afters of the movies, the fallouts we never get to see.

fic one - MESSENGER

summary - Up to this point life has not been kind to Ezra Rhett, but she manages in her own way and actually maybe made some good friends in the form of the Witwicky family. When Sam gets his first car and it apparently steels itself she’s the first person he’s calling, the next day when Giant metal beings show themselves to them all in a back alley and ask Sam to save the world she’s already had enough. 

But that pleading look in his eyes has her reluctantly agreeing to go, and very quickly she realizes it would be a cold day in hell if she ever let these kids go through this alone. 

Optimus Prime has a similar thought process when he realized how young the humans helping his team were. He is glad that Ezra decided to stay and help her young friends not for herself but for their safety. The Autobot leader also keeps his eyes on them, he doesn’t need any of the humans helping them get hurt along the way. 

Though sometimes he finds himself being pulled by the Look in her eyes. 

Fic two; Voyager Fic three; Apollo 11 Fic four; Pathfinder Fic five; Interstellar

Optimus prime x oc because yes. somehow i made the oc a half-human, half cybertronian in a non-cringe way. like me and my significant other literally discussed the biochemistry of how this could all work. there are paragraphs of messages of my friends and i talking about this. so it's safe to say, smut will happen in a natural way (without that holo form bs)

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Rust can be Fatal - Undertale / Transformers Prime crossover

fic one - It Had to be You

summary - Cybertron was a stagnant planet, it had been since the collapse of the space bridges, no, likely since the fall of the thirteen. But it was all about to change, A Gladiator named Megatrounus would make sure of it. 

This, however, is not his story, this is the tale of another, one who called herself Seadrift and later Moray. She was the bot to bring Megatron back to his true ideals and the one to plunge him into a rage so deep it consumed all of Cybertron. 

She was also the one to make an impact on Monster kind, after all, it was the Monster’s who accepted her and the humans who shunned her. When war broke out all over again in her new home, Seadrift was going to be sure it didn’t end with her getting sent away from the ones she loved, not again. So she took up arms against the humans and fought for monster kind, just like she had for Megatron so long ago. 

fic two - The Reason I'm Alive

this one doesn't have a description but it's from Megatron and Seadrift's kid pov and it gets brutal (i think i have a scene where they saw off their own leg with fishing line)

Megatron x oc and eventually I make Megatron a dad (listen ya'll will eventually see that i have a thing for taking villans and making them single dads to daughter and have them absolutely dote on them)

does that have something to do with my daddy issues. maybe??

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THERE!!! the list is complete (for now) i will add as i do more, (i have tones more fics but these are the ones i feel the most comfortable with sharing/ the ones that are the most thought out) more will def be added later on, so check back whenever ya feel like it and don't be afraid to comment on any of them, i will appreciate all comments.

[obey-me-rot]

You're Mine

A/N: I guess as a writing blog I should be doing some writing right? Honestly this has just been the biggest headcanon I've had in a while since I started playing Obey Me of the brothers just...like Devildom culture must be so different! And then the whole pact thing with human masters must be so different as well! I just view them as big animals just wanting to get your attention u wu. Warnings: Jealous boys, public shows of dominance and a lot of biting.

It's almost painful being in the Devildom sometimes.

A cultural exchange program amped up to 100 %.

As much as you loved the brothers, you also were meeting some pretty cool demons in RAD. Surely you were the human student everyone was so excited to meet, but none of them really talked to you, you know? But there were some that were brave enough to overlook your pact marks and dive into a conversation.

Even some were bold enough to talk to you out of school!

Making so many friends was so exciting, especially since you still thought of yourself as new! Wait till the brothers see how many new demons you have met!

Problem is you forgot how weird demon culture is, especially when it has to do with a demon and their master.

"MC?"

Lucifer blinks as he notices the demon approaching the two of you, pausing your daily walk with him as confusion turns to familiarity and you run up to greet your friend.

The first thing he notices is how they are a low ranking demon, so there’s no need to be hyper aware of any sort of threat. In this instance he doesn’t need to look to make sure his pact mark is visible to the demon.

His mark was embedded right in your iris, so anyone could see whose protection you were under.

He smiles politely as you turn around to introduce them, the demon waving at him shyly as if remembering that, yes, this human made a pact with Lucifer and therefore should not be messed with in any way. Yet there was no sort of violent tendencies coming from this demon, which put him at somewhat of an ease.

That is, until the demon takes a hold of your hand.

It’s a simple touch, one that a human would mistaken for a sign of friendship and camaraderie. The demon was speaking excitedly about a new flower they had seen over at the Botanical gardens and how much they wanted to show it off to you.They tighten their hold and Lucifer has to dig his fingernails into his palm from ripping their hand off.

You had no idea what it meant and the action would most likely scare you.

And Lucifer wanted you to trust him as much as possible.

“Would it be okay if Lucifer comes along?”

“...y--yeah! I don’t mind!”

Hesitation mixed with fake happiness, this demon really thought that he would get some time alone with you, didn’t they? They probably planned this whole thing out and whatever excitement they were showing you was just a front to hide their true intentions. Besides, look how they are hanging off of you, they want to make a pact with you so badly it’s almost disgusting.

Might as well get rid of the pest now.

“Come on MC, I want to show you the huge petals--!”

“OW!”

You and the demon look back to see Lucifer biting down on one of your fingers, your ring finger to be exact, while making eye contact with the pest. His teeth are not necessarily breaking skin but the pain of the bite made all your attention go back on him, turning around to tug your finger away and cradle it close. “Lucifer what the hell!”

He smiles and tells you not to worry about it, your retort falling on deaf ears as Lucifer’s eyes fall on the demon one more time. Their eyes are wide and they have immediately taken two steps back, their back as straight as a needle as Lucifer sends them one last look that lets them know of his intentions.

Leave now or I will gut you in front of my human.

You turn to apologize to your friend for putting them in such a weird situation but the demon is already long gone, no sign of them ever being in your presence as you look around aimlessly.

“They left...” you frown and look at Lucifer, “Next time at least warn me.”

“If I did then you would have probably forbidden me from doing so.”

The Avatar of Pride smiles as he takes your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours as you kept talking about how you would apologize the next day. But Lucifer wasn’t listening, he just kept staring at you as you talked, happy that his master wasn’t particularly mad.

That demon would have to learn to get his own, this human was already his.

He had finally gotten you all to himself.

Mammon had a photoshoot today, making you tag along so he could finally show off his modeling skills. And it would help him out as well. The product they were trying to sell did not appeal to him one bit and he just really needed you as inspiration.

And inspiration did you give.

“Oh gorgeous Mammon gorgeous! Lean back and close your eyes.”

The cameraman was giving him compliment after compliment, excellent after excellent, it was as if all eyes were on him at that exact moment. He smiled as he thought about how you must be looking at him. His shirt was open, letting the cloth hang off the side of the couch as the camera focused primarily on the low riding jeans that showed off the boxers he was promoting.

“Perfect! Perfect!! Now turn around and stare into the camera!”

His eyes opened and his head turned expertly, Mammon smiling as he tried to make eye contact with you--

Only to see that you were gone.

Camera flashes stop as he bolts up, turning to look for you before his eyes focused on your form.

There you were...talking with someone else.

“Mammon?”

He doesn’t stare at the cameraman, only gets up and stalks towards you and the demon currently holding up the lights. Both of you turn to face him, a voice speaking loudly about a five minute break as Mammon stands behind you and hugs you from behind, placing his chin right on your shoulder as he looks at the interloper.

“Are you taking a break?”

Mammon smiles as he buries his face in your shoulder, hugging you tight as the demon tells him he did a wonderful job. Without raising his head, Mammon speaks up.

“MC, who is this?”

“Oh right! Haven’t introduced you. He is a friend from RAD! We sit together in Pactology 101.”

“Well we used to sit together...”

“We talked way too much in class, didn’t we?”

It’s like nails on a chalkboard when he laughs, Mammon feeling glad that he was closer to you so he could hear the sound of your laughter instead of the ugly screeching of the intruder taking up your attention. Did this guy think he was stupid? That he couldn’t notice all the goddamn pheromones he was releasing? Mammon shakes his head back and forth, breathing in your scent heavily as he tries to leave his own behind.

This guy was embarrassing himself with how badly he wanted to form a pact with you.

“MC.”

“Oh oh, remember when the teacher caught us texting in class?”

“I think he might want to just put us back together cause we are still causing trouble!”

The Avatar of Greed frowns, did you not hear him?

“MC…”

“Well the teacher knows we are a good match, doesn’t he?”

“A match made in hell, I would say.”

Why was this guy still talking? Why were you still listening to him?

“MC….”

“Hey after this...would you want to go get some coffee, MC? If you’re not busy.”

“Nah, I only have this toda---FUCK!”

A pair of teeth tug at your earlobe, Mammon growling in your ear as he makes eye contact with the annoyance in front of him. He should be counting his lucky stars that you were still in the room, if Mammon found him anywhere else this demon would be nothing more than a meal for his familiars.

“MC, you have to stare at me or else I’m going to take longer.”

You rub at your ear as Mammon lets go of you, breaking eye contact with the other demon as he gives you his signature pout. He didn’t want you to see him be all scary, Mammon wanted you to see him like the number one demon he always tried to be for you.

“And you had to bite me because of that!?”

“Because you weren’t paying attention! You have to keep your eyes on me or else I’m not going to sell this stupid product. In fact--”

He drags you back to the couch, yelling at the cameraman that he would be posing with you so he could actually get through this photoshoot instead of doing a solo shoot. The man sighs but calls makeup to get you ready, Mammon smiling as he sits down right next to you.

The farther you were from that guy the better, all of his master’s attention needed to be on him after all.

Of course something like this would happen. Bad luck seemed to follow Leviathan wherever he went.

"Did you see the finale of it live?"

"I did!!! My movie theatre put it on the big screen and everything!"

Levi was glad that you were a nerd just like him. It was refreshing and probably one of the biggest reasons he had decided to make a pact with you.

Well, he had tried to kill you first and then make a pact with you but it was still a special story! Who would have thought that he would land himself a human master with his own interests!

Though he guessed that was a bad thing now.

He couldn't keep his thoughts in check as the clerk of the comic store kept talking to you, Levi annoyed that he couldn't keep up with the conversation you two had. It was about some comic cinematic universe that had been adapted in the human world and he honestly didn’t want to put anymore thought into it because of how close the clerk was getting.

Dammit he should have bought the new manga volume in Akuzon...but you had been so cute irl asking him to get the manga in this comic store you found,and if his master was begging him so cutely then what else could he do?

“I actually got the limited edition of this one movie--”

Nobody cared.

“It was up for a lot in Akuzon but I’m glad I got my hands on it--”

Stop talking!

“And I have a pretty cool viewing set up in the back--!”

Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking, stop talking to MC!

Levi frowns as you gush about the movie some more, glaring down at you for letting your attention stray from him. But why should he be surprised, of course your attention would stray. Him being the yucky otaku that he is, of course you would go with the demon who took his interest and actually turned it into a profit--

No.

No! It wasn’t your fault! It wasn’t even his fault! It was this demon’s fault!

Thinking they looked so cool with their most basic of interests. If Levi could expose them for the fraud that they were, MC would be able to see the absolute fool that this demon was making themselves out to be. Smiling a lot more, inching closer as they talked, even offering to take you to the back of the store--!

People may say what they want about Levi but at least he wasn’t this desperate to get on the good side of a human...at least the first time he met you.

His eyes fall on the back of your neck, hair conveniently placed out of the way as he remembered something Lucifer had discussed with him and Mammon after they had made their pact.

You will not think rationally when you are with them, make sure to monitor your actions so you don’t embarrass yourself.

That’s what he said but…

Surely Levi wasn’t going to embarrass himself more than this demon already has.

“This is the one with the symbiote creature, right? And you got the bonus deleted scenes! Honestly I would be so down with watching it right--EEP!”

Levi made sure to let his tongue lick the back of your neck first before biting down, wanting to make the bite as painless as possible. Although he guessed that not making you feel pain was out of the question as he felt you tense up, his tongue swiping against your nape one last time as he pulled back and tugged on the back of your shirt.

“MC let’s go. They don’t have it.”

You turn to look at Levi, hand on the back of your neck as you tell him that he could have gotten your attention in any other way, but he knew for a fact that he had made his point across with the demon in front of him.

Summoning Lotan in his own home was one thing, summoning Lotan in a store would probably cost a lot…

Even if he knew brothers wouldn’t blame him with how nauseatingly this demon was trying to approach their master.

“MC, here.”

Satan breaks his pencil, but it seems the two other people don’t seem to notice.

“And it's the first edition too, but I took it out just for you.”

You smile and mention about how you didn’t need anything fancy for the assignment, just a simple book that talked about Devildom history. Which Satan agreed, this bug was acting like he owned the entire Royal Library. A pass to get a first edition title wasn’t that rare of a fucking find--if he wanted, Satan could call up any of his connections and get about 16 copies of different first edition titles that spoke not just about the Devildom history but about whatever the hell topic he could get his hands on.

This guy wasn’t that special yet he was acting like he had just given you the world on a silver platter.

The demon sat down at the table you and Satan were studying at, looking at you the entire time he explained how to open the book and how to make sure it stays in its pristine condition.

Which made Satan break another pencil.

From what you had mentioned, this guy was just someone you knew from RAD. You labeled him as the ‘smartest person in the class’. Which was a bit of an insult on his part but he guessed that as long as he wasn’t the one in your class it didn’t count as an insult towards his person.

He, of course, being the smartest demon you know.

But Satan didn’t have to be the smartest demon in RAD to know what this nuisance was doing.

If he were to read you any book on Devildom demonology, certain demons needed a human master. This insect in front of you would count as one of them. Lower demons usually tend to be without guidance and need a soul to feed from. In comes a human master, being able to fulfill that need with a pure soul of their own. The demon feeds and in return, develops a sort of ‘affection’ towards their master since they are now the hand that feeds them.

The same couldn’t be applied to Satan or his brothers, however. As the seven demon lords, they are able to gain the sustenance they need from the feed of other lower demons under the sin they were made in.

They are free to form pacts, but it’s not like they need it.

A good metaphor would be that they are essentially ‘picking off the plate’ of the lower demons, making the lower demons only cause minimal casualties up in the human world as they feed and keeping the seven lords from going feral with hunger.

Of course, things were different now. Satan had you now, a human all of his own.

Essentially, someone was trying to ‘take a bite’ of his favourite food, and Satan hated sharing.

Friends be damned, politeness be damned, he needed to show this demon his place.

“Isn’t it fascinating? The cover was made with a demon’s skin.”

“....really?”

“Yes. I believe it was from recently dead demon’s during the first Celestial War. Do you want to feel?”

You nod, curious about the black and shiny cover as the demon holds out his hand for you to take--

Only for you to yelp as Satan takes it first, dragging your hand back so it would be close to his lips as the Avatar of Wrath’s teeth bite at the skin near your wrist. You hiss in pain at the sudden sharpness, quickly pulling your hand back and staring at your demon as he gives the annoyance one last pointed stare.

“That is how demons started their pacts before we arrived in the Devildom, wasn’t it?”

The demon nodded slowly, his eyes darting to the mark on your wrist and then back at Satan. He opened his mouth to try and speak up but seemed to decide better against it, giving you one last smile as he stood up. “...I’ll...I’ll go get you the second volume. That one might include more accurate and updated information on pact markings.”

Satan smiles and nods as he scoots his chair close to you, looking back at you tracing the mark on your wrist with a frown before putting all your attention back on him.

“Did demons really used to form pact marks like this?”

The Avatar of Wrath shrugs.

“I was only guessing, he was the one who left thinking it was the truth. Here, let’s go look for a book on our own.”

Asmo would like to think that he had perfected the fake smile to the point he could keep it up for an indeterminate amount of time.

“MC! Try this!”

Yet the corners of his mouth twitched as he watched one of your friends, who happened to be a store clerk at Majolish, open the door to your dressing room to hand you another outfit they had picked out. And it wasn’t a bad outfit--!

Just...did they have to keep opening the door every single time?

Granted, he shouldn’t be in your dressing room in the first place but he insisted he would stay since you were only trying some shirts on! It wasn’t like he was seeing anything inappropriate and your pants were staying on the entire time.

This sight was okay for him because he was your demon and you were his master.

So it wasn’t right that some random nobody kept coming in to hand you shirts that they thought looked cute on you! That’s what you had Asmo for!

Yet here he was, secluded to sit down on the little chairs that someone would usually toss the unwanted clothes they wouldn’t buy. Which was already doing horrible things for his self-esteem.

“I learned a couple of things by working here. See? The color really matches your hair.”

The Avatar of Lust scoffs when he hears that. What exactly did the demon learn? How to match colors? Oh look, someone learned the basics of the color wheel, someone give them a medal.

“And since you are wearing something long at the bottom, it’s only fair that you go with something short on top.”

This demon is going to win an award for making basic observations, Asmo could already see it. What a future they had ahead of them.

“These colors are summery too so...it goes great with the weather!”

Oh he wants to gag, Asmo’s heard enough.

“You don’t think it’s too revealing? I do like the color though…”

Before the demon can answer, Asmo grabs your shoulders and pulls you back to him with a smile as he makes you look in the mirror.

“I think it’s revealing enough for the summer look you are going for...except can you maybe get it in a light pastel? Any color would do it just needs to be a pastel color if we want it to go with the light color of your bottoms.”

The demon deflates at the sudden lack of contact with you but nods as they step out, waving goodbye and stating once again how ‘gorgeous’ you looked. Which Asmo guessed was the only compliment they had in their arsenal.

Gorgeous didn’t even begin to describe you.

“I did like this color, Asmo. Does it not look good?”

“No it looks perfect on you! But--”

He tugs on the floral print top and smiles as he wraps his arms around your shoulders.

“Floral prints are extremely last season and I want you to be on a more neutral type of clothing. Just simple colors. This way we can add some jewelry--some of my own creation of course.”

Asmo smiles when you giggle, fixing your top and looking at yourself in the mirror a couple more times as you mumble to yourself about how Devildom summers seem rather temperate compared to the ones you were used to and how you wouldn’t need anything sleeveless.

Damn the Devildom summers, if they could even be called that at all.

His ears twitch as he hears the pest start to make their way back, Asmo’s smile dropping slowly as he looks down at your neck. This was the spot they kept staring at, wasn’t it? Shame it wasn’t decorated--

But he could fix that~ “I found some other colors that would go well with you MC, do you want to--”

“OW OW OW!”

Asmo’s teeth are right on your neck, turning to look back at the clerk with a smile and a little wave as he hums at the way you clench and unclench your fingers while looking at him through the mirror, wanting to ask just why he was doing this but the pain keeping you quiet. It was cute how much you were hurting but how you were doing absolutely nothing to stop him. This could technically mean that you approved of what he was doing, correct?

He lets go as the clerk immediately closes the door, you calling out for your friend but Asmo brings you back and makes you look at the mirror one more time.

“There we go. That’s a pretty mark, right MC? An Asmodeus Limited Edition item, just for you~”

If this kept happening, Beel was going to eat this demon.

“You need to try some Devildom food, MC! I promise it's good!”

Beel stomach growls again as you laugh, ignoring the parfait in front of you. He gives you a tap on the shoulder and your attention is right back to him. “Oh sorry, Beel. Here!” You scoop up the delicious frozen treat and feed it to him, Beel smiling as he takes another two bites of his hamburger and watches you and your friend talk. He actually had no idea that you had any friends in RAD and was happy to see that at least some demons were treating you nicely, compared to theo ones who had teased you when you first arrived.

Well he said teased, more like threatened to eat you.

He figured you would make friends fast though, you were nice and all the demons here were already attracted to human souls so it was bound to happen that one of them would have the courage to talk to you.

Yet this one seemed rather...eager.

“How about this. Hell’s Kitchen serves good food but I know this awesome corner in the wall place we can get some grilled bat sandwiches. Guts and everything.”

His stomach growls again, he knew of the place this demon was talking about and would most likely want to take you there himself if you ever asked.

Beel takes another two bites before waiting for you to feed him the parfait.

Nothing.

He frowns and stares at you again, the demon keeping your attention all to himself as you spoke about how you didn’t necessarily want to eat anything with guts in it. His eyes went to the parfait, watching some of the perfectly placed scoops slowly melt and droop down on the plate.

MC, pay attention to him!

This was his time with you! He didn’t mind if someone else stepped in and he was glad you were making friends but this demon was interrupting his mealtime!

He ate his burger, you fed him ice-cream, this is how it had always worked!

People could say what they wanted but Beel was a creature of habit, and he was in the habit of having you feed him.

Not just that, he was in the habit of having your attention all on him when it was his time to hang out with you.

Wasn’t this demon just being a bother? Didn’t you also want them gone?

They kept talking about all the stuff that clearly grossed you out, seemingly delighted with your reactions as they kept trying to egg you on to say yes to an outing. If it wasn’t for the fact that you were smiling the entire time, Beel would have already made the move to unhinging his jaw and--

“I promise I’ll treat you to the best ghost pepper pizza you’ve ever had. You’re free after this, right?”

Beel’s stomach growls, whether in hunger or anger Beel wouldn’t be able to say. All he knows is that this demon is bad news for both him and you.

So what would be the quickest way to make him back off?

“I’m not but I can take a raincheck--!”

You drop the spoon you were holding as Beel bites your cheek, throwing the demon one quick glimpse before letting out a few sounds that seemed to make up your name. The demon stares at you and Beel as the Avatar of Gluttony pulls away from you, licking his lips as you slowly put a hand on your cheek and turn to look at him.

“The parfait is gonna melt. I want another bite.”

“Beel…”

Eyes turn to the demon once again, Beel frowning as he takes a hold of your hand underneath the table.

“Please leave. If MC is going to eat Devildom food then they’ll eat it with me. The only thing you are going to do is gross them out.”

“So what did you want to talk about?”

Belphie frowned as your fingers gently played with his hair. That is not what he had asked for when he asked to lay on your lap. Belphegor wanted the usual way you would comb through his hair, both of you gently whispering to each other as the planetarium ambience lulled him to sleep.

“Well...uhm...I wanted to ask something important.”

And who the hell was this person? He peeked up to look at you smiling at the screen, frowning that you still didn’t seem to notice you were doing a shit job at giving him the attention he needed. Whoever this was had been on the line with you for a good solid ten minutes, talking about useless subjects such as their day and what they had for lunch. If anything, Belphegor had no idea how this thing was taking your attention. You were doing most of the talking anyway, they should just hang up and leave you alone to pay attention to your demon.

“We’ve known each other for a while.”

Belphegor most likely knew MC for longer...maybe.

“And honestly I haven’t met a human like you before. You just...I just expected humans to be something and you aren’t that so it threw me off.”

The Avatar of Sloth yawns as he buries his head in your lap, smiling at the darkness he found in the small crook of your thighs. He yawns again and closes his eyes to try and fall asleep but the grating voice of the demon on the phone was sending nothing but warning signals to his brain.

“So I wanted to ask something I didn’t think I would ask a human before.”

He really wanted to yell ‘get to the point’ or ‘hang up the phone’ but he knew that you would most likely shush him and tell him to be patient, which would then result in you gently pushing him away so you could talk somewhere more private. And he wasn’t ready to lose his favourite pillow just yet.

So he continued listening, tracing random shapes on your thighs as he felt his eyelids start to droop.

“I know you have seven pacts already…”

Damn straight.

“But would an eight be too much for you?”

That wakes Belphegor right up, eyes wide open and head turned to face up at you to see your reaction. Of course you would be surprised, this demon really had the guts to ask the current master of the Seven deadliest demons in the Devildom for a pact?

You better be grateful that Belphegor found comfort in your lap and would prefer to stay here, rather than go break the neck of the demon insolent enough to try to take his master away.

So go ahead, reject him.

“A pact? With me?”

What were you doing?

Don’t give him such a hopeful answer! Belphegor had to share you with six other demons constantly and those demons were his siblings! He was okay sharing with Beel but he drew the line at anyone else! Adding an eighth demon to that would be like asking for a bloodbath, a bloodbath with only one target.

Belphegor frowned as the demon started talking again, stuttering and jumping over his words like he was a dog who asked to eat their masters table. Which essentially he was, not like there was room for him anyway.

“I know I’m not like those brothers--”

Damn straight.

“But making a pact with you would make me really happy...is what I am trying to say.”

He wants to gag.

A part of him couldn’t blame the demon, you were perhaps the best master a demon could ask for, but you were already t a k e n.

And you were to blame too, you know?

You weren’t rejecting him like you should. The face you were making was far too surprised and flattered at the proposition given to you. Were you that greedy? Had Mammon rubbed off on you? You had seven of the most powerful demons under your command, what more could you possibly want?

As a master, you were doing a bad job at rejecting this insect and an even more horrible job at not paying attention to the actual demon you were tied to.

He turns his head back to the darkness of your thighs, feeling you shift as you also struggle to find an answer. This was becoming too much, if Belphegor didn’t act fast you were most likely going to say yes, just because you didn’t know any better!

Fuck it, you could try to push him off but Belphegor would hold on tightly, he had to save you from your mistake.

“Uhm. Well that is honestly really flattering. And eight pacts wouldn’t be so bad--”

You slap a hand over your mouth, your teeth biting into your tongue as you look down at the demon nipping at the inside of your thigh. Belphie looks up innocently, batting his eyelashes at you as he bites down a little harder--

“I’ll-try-to-have-an-answer-for-you-later-got-to-go-bye!”

Fingers hurry to end the call as Belphegor quickly lets go, smiling as you gape down at him.

“I was in the middle of a call!”

“I know.”

“Then what was that about!?”

The Avatar of Sloth shrugs as he closes his eyes.

“You weren’t paying attention to me. It made me mad.”

You sigh and lean back, Belphegor waiting for a few moments before smiling as he feels your fingers combing through his hair.

“Next time,just talk to me, Belphegor.”

He would have answered, but that would make him promise something he most likely was not going to do.

[wendimydarling]

Hogwarts Houses

So I’m going to start this by saying that the Houses and their character traits will be listed below Henry and his characters, so that you can see whether or not you agree with me. I pulled my house information from The Odyssey Online and Wiki Fandom. For everyone that gets assigned to Gryffindor, I will also sort them into what house they would be in if they hadn’t chosen Gryffindor. 

HERE WE GOOOOOO!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Henry - Hufflepuff

Henry is a Hufflepuff. This was established here, and I stand by what I said in that post. He is kind, and loyal, and good, and he’s VERY good at puzzles (aka finding things).

Stephen Colley - Hufflepuff

Stephen is also a Hufflepuff. He values hard work, fair play, and he is loyal to a fault, even if it means sacrificing his happiness.

Mikey - Slytherin

Oof, Mikey is hardcore Slytherin. A lot of people might see him as lazy and while I think he can be, I think inherently he’s ambitious and determined. He goes after what he wants (the girl), he’s cocky and arrogant, and he takes charge of the situation most of the time.

Melot - Gryffindor/Slytherin

Melot is all about bravery. He would ask to be in Gryffindor at once because that is the house that is represented by bravery. He is also daring; in the beginning he volunteers to be one of the runners when they rescue the women. He is loyal to Mark up until he feels betrayed, at which point he does what he feels is necessary for his people. This is why I would place him in Slytherin if I wasn’t so sure he’d ask to be in Gryffindor. 

Evan Marshall - Ravenclaw

My gut leans towards Ravenclaw for Evan. He is an EMT so he’s smart, and he’s creative as well as clever. He gets them out of a very tough situation with minimal casualties, and he’s the one who comes up with the idea of how to beat the baddie.

Charles Brandon - Gryffindor

Another Gryffindor. I have a feeling that when sorted Charles would have asked to be in Gryffindor only to save face in front of others like the King, but the Sorting Hat has done this before, like with Ron Weasley. Ron would have been a wonderful Hufflepuff, but his older brothers would have teased him forever if he’d been sorted there so he asked to be in Gryffindor, and the sorting hat accepted. Same rule applies for Charles. Charles would have made an excellent Ravenclaw if he hadn’t asked to be in Gryffindor.

Theseus - Hufflepuff

Theseus is a hufflepuff because he is kind-hearted. Even though he’s a hothead which would put him into Slytherin or Gryffindor, he wouldn’t ask to be in Gryffindor, and he’s too thoughtful of others feelings to be in Slytherin. He also works very hard and is dedicated to his cause when he is thrown into a position of leadership.

Will Shaw - Ravenclaw

Will is a Ravenclaw because of his intelligence, and his wit. He didn’t know much about what his dad was up to, but in a refreshing change of pace he knew what NOT to do so that he wouldn’t get caught. That is, until he got caught. 

But up until that point, he had smarts! 

Clark Kent - Hufflepuff 

Clark is a Hufflepuff for every reason one would be a Hufflepuff. He is smart and courageous yes, but he is also kind, loyal, hard working, determined, and patient. The ONLY reason that Clark would not be in Gryffindor is because he wouldn’t ask.

Napoleon Solo - Slytherin

*said in a cheesy french accent* Ah, Napoleon. 

Napoleon is a Slytherin, through and through. He is cunning, crafty, resourceful, proud, and intelligent. He craves being in charge, and He does NOT like having to share the spotlight with Illya. Illya being a Gryffindor by the way, in case you’re wondering. Ironic, no?.

Captain Syverson - Gryffindor

Oh, this man would ask to be in Gryffindor before the Sorting Hat was even fully placed on his head. He is the epitome of a Gryffindor: brave-hearted, chivalrous, courageous, and loyal. He’d take a bullet for any one of his men, and often puts himself into unknown situations first.

August Walker - Slytherin

Without a doubt, August Walker is the embodiment of the Slytherin motto “Do what is necessary”. He will do whatever it takes to accomplish his mission, even if it means clearing a room of fifty people just to kill one. And his manifesto screams of arrogance and pride. He is loyal yes, but only to himself, and he’ll get rid of anyone who stands in his way.

Walter Marshall - Hufflepuff

This one was hard. I saw him as either a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff, but Huffelpuff won out because of his courage. I don’t think he’d ask to be in Gryffindor which is why I didn’t place him there for his courage, but Hufflepuffs have also been noted for their bravery as well, aka Cedric Diggory. Walter is also very kind and compassionate towards others; he wouldn’t be able to do his job well without it. 

Geralt of Rivia - Ravenclaw

Lastly, we have Geralt, who I see as a Ravenclaw. This is mostly because of his wit and his sense of humor, though he is rather intelligent as well. He has the book smarts about the things that were taught to him by the Witchers, but he does lack smarts in other areas. However, he is a quick study, and will pick up must topics quickly. He also has an innate sense of wanting to fit in, which I feel as “nerds” or “outsiders”, most Ravenclaws feel this way. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was SO fun, and long overdue! Feel free to argue your own stance, this sorting is entirely my opinion! All House Character Traits will be listed below if you’d like to keep reading.

Gryffindor: The house of the brave, loyal, courageous, adventurous, daring, and chivalrous. Corresponds to the element of Fire. Those who stand up for others are typically Gryffindors. Brave-hearted is the most well-known Gryffindor characteristic, and Gryffindors are also known for having a lot of nerve.

Gryffindors are people who hold a multitude of qualities alongside the ones listed, making them a very well-rounded house. People who are Gryffindors are often people who could fit nicely into another house but choose to tell the sorting hat they want Gryffindor (there's that bravery). "Do what is right" is the motto Gryffindors go by.

Hufflepuff: This house values hard work, dedication, fair play, patience, and loyalty. Corresponds to the element of earth. Hufflepuff's are known for being just and true. "Do what is nice" is their motto.

Hufflepuff is known as the “nice house" and believes strongly in sparing people's feelings and being kind. This is not to say that Hufflepuffs aren't smart or courageous. Hufflepuffs just enjoy making others happy and tend to be more patient toward people.

Ravenclaw: The house is known for their wisdom, intelligence, creativity, cleverness, wit, and knowledge. Corresponds to the element of air. Those who value brains over brawn can be found here. Ravenclaws often tend to be quite quirky as well. "Do what is wise" is the motto they strive to follow.

Though Ravenclaws can be know-it-alls sometimes, they most likely do know what the wisest decision is.

Slytherin: This is the house of the cunning, prideful, resourceful, ambitious, intelligent, and determined. Corresponds roughly to the element of water. Slytherin's love to be in charge and crave leadership. "Do what is necessary" is the motto of this house.Slytherins do, however, have a tendency to be arrogant or prideful. This is most likely due to the fact that everyone in Slytherin is exceedingly proud to be there.

Wendigo Fan Club: @littlefreya​ @sciapod​ @thiccgeralt​ @fucking-hell-cavill​ @brexrif​ @peakygroupie​ @viking-raider​ @constip8merm8​ @daniig95​ @elinalfrida​ @hell1129-blog​ @oddsnendsfanfics​ @agniavateira​ @dearlybelovedluke​ @sofiebstar​ @wanderinglunarnights​ @mary-ann84​ @nuns-and-roses​ @luclittlepond​ @thekingstachemademedoit​ @iloveyouyen​ @lestersglitterglue​ @funnygirlthatgab​ @wondersofdreaming​ @yoursecretsmutblog​ @valkavill​ @kevia1000 @trippedmetaldetector​ @lifeofrileyp​ @captaingothgirl1996​ @sasusakubae​ @princess-of-riviaa​ @vivodinson​ @paradisecitychild​ @stuckupstucky​ @speakerforthedead0-blog​ @madbaddic7ed​

[saphira-approves]

Don’t Compare My Boy To K*l* R*n: In This Essay I Will—

okAY I’m talking about it

So I can’t find the post right now, but a few days ago I saw a post on my dash comparing Murtagh of the Inheritance Cycle to Kylo Ren of Star Wars, citing parallels for their similarities.

Since we all know this blog is really just a poorly-disguised Murtagh stan blog, I decided I’d share my thoughts on this comparison. I’ll be discussing character backgrounds, character roles, character motives, and character actions.

Part One: Character Backgrounds

Murtagh and Kylo Ren are both descendants of the “previous generation.” Their mothers were both prominent rebels, their fathers were both considered handsome and rogueish, and both sets of parents eventually separated. But that’s about where the similarities end.

Kylo Ren’s—or rather, Ben Solo’s—parents loved each other and loved their son. They may have been flawed in the way they showed it, but then again, the only account we hear of Ben’s childhood (as I recall, anyway, and I’m not rewatching those movies just for a tumblr post) is Ben’s, after he’d been groomed and manipulated by Snoke for many, many years. Han Solo died believing he was helping his son; Leia Organa died saving her son; at the very least, they both loved him enough, even while he was serving the Dark Side, to give up their lives for him. 

Murtagh’s parents, on the other hand, were a mess. From Murtagh’s account of their relationship, Morzan didn’t care much about Selena except for her usefulness as a weapon; he was happy to manipulate her and her emotions, but I highly doubt he actually loved her. He certainly didn’t give a damn about Murtagh, throwing a sword at his own three-year-old son. Selena, meanwhile, although she obviously loved Morzan at first, loved Murtagh even more, and clearly recognized that Morzan didn’t care for her the way she had once cared for him—when she recognized an opportunity to work against him, she took it. 

Kylo Ren despised both of his parents, but that hatred seemed hollow, shallow—it had no real reason. They led busy lives, perhaps didn’t make enough time for him, but their actions revealed that they did, truly, love him despite his mistakes, and Kylo’s loathing reveals itself to truly be the manifestation of a spoiled child’s anger, magnified tenfold. Murtagh, conversely, had very good reasons for his complicated view of his parents: he loved his mother, but she was kept from him (and him from her), and she died—possibly in front of him, though he never says, and, unbeknownst to him until much later, having just hidden his brother in Carvahall. There was no love lost between him and Morzan, who was in the best case just an angry drunk, worst case—and more likely—an abusive father, and the only thing Murtagh ever expected to receive from him as inheritance was his sword (which is by itself another whole post in the making). 

Part Two: Character Roles

Both Murtagh and Kylo Ren played the role of foil to the protagonists of their stories. 

Murtagh and Eragon were very similar in many ways; I’ve mentioned before the many “subtle” hints Paolini gives to their true relationship (”a pair of matched blades” and “brothers in arms” come to mind off the top of my head). Their differences clearly highlight their different upbringings: Eragon thinks in the moment, with his heart and his compassion, while Murtagh thinks ahead, makes plans and contingencies—this difference is most clearly seen when Murtagh kills Torkenbrand and Eragon's strong moral code makes him protest, even though killing the slaver was, objectively, the best course of action they could take. Yet Murtagh is not only Eragon’s foil in action, but also his foil symbolically: they are both sons of Selena, which binds them, and yet the sons of opposing fathers, which others unwittingly use to pit them against each other (yes, this is also a whole other post in the making. like i said, poorly-disguised murtagh stan blog). Murtagh’s foilness to Eragon is deeply interwoven into their friendship and their parallels, showing up in many subtle and unsubtle moments throughout the series.

Kylo Ren’s foil status, on the other hand, is… complicated in a different way. For one thing, he’s not just a foil to Rey, he’s also a foil to Finn—in fact, I’d argue he’s more foil to Finn, and more just a complete opposite to Rey. He’s the experience to Rey’s raw talent, he shifts toward the Light while Rey shifts toward the Dark, but with Finn, their stories of pulling away from the Empire could have been fantastic foil stories. Wasted opportunity. And I’m so mad about it but this isn’t a star wars blog so—

Part Three: Character Motives

Of course, both Murtagh and Kylo Ren’s motives change over the course of their own stories, so we’ll be looking at what they are and how they change.

Kylo Ren starts his story in TFA as a ruthless, power-hungry fanboy who cherry-picked his history lessons and simply ignored the fact that his oh-so-esteemed Darth Grandvader was actually redeemed in the end because Luke refused to give up on whatever scrap of good was left in him and I hate hate hate hate hate Luke’s sequel characterization UGH and so Kylo is “emulating” a false image of what he thinks Vader was: the power, the presence, the mask and modulator aesthetic, the “I’m on the Dark Side because it’s fun, and I get to do whatever I want consequence-free.” Which… no! So, at first, what does Kylo want? Power! Sure, he’s serving Palpatine’s Smeagol puppet Snoke, but eventually he’s gonna be the most powerful person in the galaxy. …well, but then eventually starts getting a little boring, so in TLJ Kylo ups his timetable, tries to get Rey on his side after torturing her for information (OF HIS OWN VOLITION! BECAUSE HE’S A JERK! He did not CARE about even trying to convince her at first, he asked the few questions necessary to justify meeting her resistance with a Force mind-rape), and then when she doesn’t join him on the Dark Side he fights her, again and again and again until he nearly DIES, and then HIS MOTHER DIES TO SAVE HIS UNGRATEFUL ASS, so now Kylo’s priorities switch from “power” to… uh… what, again? Redemption? By… how? Sacrificing his life for Rey?

Oh, now he remembers how his Darth Grandvader history lesson ended.

he’s still a copycat though

Murtagh’s motives, conversely, actually make sense for his situation. When we meet him, he has in the last few months run away from Urû’baen and lost his mentor and father-figure. His two priorities: keep himself and his horse alive, and see what the deal is with the new Dragon Rider he’s heard so much about. He meets Eragon and Saphira by saving their lives from the Ra’zac, and he’s there when Brom dies, and Eragon loses his own mentor. Having just recently gone through that pain himself, Murtagh gets attached, and joins Eragon on his adventure/vengeance quest against the Ra’zac. Murtagh doesn’t reveal his parentage, but he and Eragon find that they have a lot of similarities and get very close, sparring and bantering and becoming “a set of matched blades” and “brothers-in-arms” and other such friendly roles that are not-so-subtle hints at their true relationship, and even when they fight—notably when Murtagh doesn’t want to go to the Varden, because they might kill him, which would be actively violating his first priority of staying alive—Murtagh still agrees to help Eragon because he’s a nice f*cking person okay. And then, through shenanigans, Murtagh ends up getting kidnapped, assumed dead by his few new friends, and then 

TORTURED AND MIND-RAPED FOR AT LEAST THREE OR FOUR MONTHS.

And Murtagh’s will never broke! Not until Galbatorix gave him a dragon egg, and that dragon egg hatched into Thorn, and Thorn bonded with Murtagh, and Galbatorix threatened Thorn.

Murtagh fought Galbatorix until Thorn’s well-being was put into danger. 

After that, Murtagh’s priorities are skewed; he’s forcibly sworn to Galbatorix’s will, which sucks, but he’s also given fantastic power, which is great; but he and Thorn still get tortured as punishment for messing up, which also sucks. And then Nasuada, someone Murtagh actually likes, is captured and brought to Urû’baen, and Murtagh tries to hide his face behind the silver mask when Galbatorix forces him to torture Nasuada (physically, because Galbatorix never forces Murtagh to attack Nasuada’s mind) because he doesn’t want to torture his friend. In fact, he does everything in his ability to help her. And in the end, he cares about her so much that he realizes hang on a minute, I would actually put SOMEONE ELSE’S health and well-being over my own, which means something in me has fundamentally changed, WHICH MEANS I CAN DEFY GALBATORIX, and so what does he do? He gets rid of Galbatorix’s wards and lets Eragon finish him off. He gives up the Eldunarí to Eragon and Saphira, which were a huge source of his power, because in the end, he’s not a power-hungry maniac, he’s a nice person that shitty things happened to.

(And if Murtagh is a nice person that shitty things happened to, then Kylo Ren is a shitty person that nice things happened to)

Part Four: Character Actions

If you don’t believe me, then perhaps we’ll let actions speak louder than words.

Kylo Ren: In his first appearance, he orders his troops to kill an entire settlement. From there, he tortures Poe for information, obsessively pursues the protagonists who have the key to Luke’s location, becomes obsessed with Rey, who seems Force-sensitive, attempts to torture Rey the same way he tortured Poe, kills his own father even as his father apologizes and tries to help him, chases Finn and Rey (again) into a snowstorm on a planet that’s imploding in on itself because of a lightsaber; and then he’s chasing the Resistance—including his own mother—across the galaxy, killing Snoke and calling himself Supreme Leader (yeah, totally something a secret good guy would do), cornering the Resistance on Crait with the threat of DEATH. STAR. TECH. (miniaturized, but like. what’s the miniature of a planet-killer???? half a planet killer??????), and then ALLYING HIMSELF with PALPATINE (the stupid crusty meatsack didn’t even have to groom this one, he got a new apprentice for FREE), while also PLANNING TO DOUBLECROSS… PALPATINE… and continuing to chase Rey across the galaxy, trying to get her to join the Dark Side, and he only stops when his mother gives up her life to save his. 

His mother… who, just recently, he THREATENED WITH DEATH STAR TECH. 

All this to say, his “redemption” arc is hollow and stupid. Dying while doing “good” is not redemption, it’s a cop-out. Vader was ruthless not because he took pleasure from killing, but because it was efficient; he was redeemed because he found out he had been lied to, manipulated, used, and abused. Kylo Ren was fully aware of his situation, an abuser himself who took pleasure in his power and in killing people; and he was not redeemed by a kumbayah force-life-transfer BS or for turning on Palpatine, WHICH HE WAS PLANNING TO DO ANYWAY. 

Murtagh: Helps Eragon, helps Eragon even when he could get captured or tortured or killed, helps Eragon even though he’s surrounded by people who would suffer no regret over killing him, helps Eragon even though he will get tortured for it later, helps Nasuada because he doesn’t want to torture his friend (let me repeat, he DOESN’T. WANT. to TORTURE. his FRIEND. And he even ends up sneaking into her cell, AT RISK OF PUNISHMENT WHICH WOULD INVOLVE TORTURE, to talk to her and heal at least some of her wounds, and give her a way to tell reality from illusion when Galbatorix does try to force his way into her head), helps Eragon kill Galbatorix in the final battle, helps a little girl he’s only just met and gives her an enchanted fork, because why not, and only waits to rejoin Eragon and Saphira because he recognizes his own need to heal, to take time for himself and Thorn, and later, if FWW is anything to go by, probably to redeem himself by helping people, and fighting whatever threat he’s hearing rumors about in the north. Murtagh doesn’t take pleasure in hurting people, and he goes out of his way to do good things, even at risk to himself, as much as he’d hate to admit it.

Murtagh is hardly perfect; on the one hand, I fully agree with his decision to kill Torkenbrand because what else were you gonna do with him, Eragon, but on the other, yes, he’s flawed. Notably, there’s the moment of him killing Hrothgar, which I’ve discussed, his anger issues, his potential alcohol issues, and his general tendency to put himself first (which… yes, but also, he really doesn’t). Best thing about this, though, his his enormous potential for change, because we’ve already seen him change! And it saved the whole war! One tiny thing, one small moment of self reflection and realization—he changed himself, without any outside influence except for finding someone to care about. 

TL;DR Don’t insult my boy Murtagh. Come back when Kylo Ren gets some actual character development.

[shinobi-imagines]

Hi! can i request a scenario where kakashi's s/o is on a mission and they haven't returned when they said they would and hes freaking the hell out? thanks heaps love your work!

Thank you so much for waiting and for liking my messy ass blog AHAHAHA……. 💖 Anywho, I love lowkey tragic prompts even though Kakashi only deserves all the love and happiness in the world…Enjoy!

When Kakashi’s S/O hasn’t returned from a mission…

It was supposed to be a month tops. Just a month on a solo S-Rank mission. That’s four weeks. 30 days. S/O always came back because she was just that good. She was just that smart. Kakashi always believed in her and had the utmost faith in her abilities. So why hadn’t she come back yet?

Two months had passed and each day Kakashi woke up in a bed that was just too spacious and felt devastatingly empty. Anxiety crept up through his spine in malicious chills each night and jolted him awake at ungodly hours.

“Let me find her,” Kakashi pleaded to the Godaime, Tsunade. “It’s been too long. I can go alone. Just let me find her.”

“Kakashi,” Tsunade sighed. “It’s been weeks since she should have come back. I’ve already sent out multiple ANBU search parties for her, but she’s wiped clear off the grid. I’m sorry, but…”

“No,” Kakashi interjected. The man bowed deeply to his superior. “Forgive me, Tsunade-sama. I should know my place better.”

Shizune held her pig, Tonton, close to her chest as she watched her colleague walk out of the room leaving behind a heavy atmosphere. It was the first she and her peers had seen Kakashi finally be at peace with someone. He was finally happy and ready to settle with a woman he truly loved. No one could think of anyone who deserved something to so simple more than Kakashi who had been through too much in his years in this cruel world.

“Dont worry,” she told him. “ I’ll be back in a month.” S/O placed a chaste kiss on Kakashi’s bare lips and cheek before she walked out the door.

There was something different in the tone of her voice though, but he was a fool and didn’t catch it. Kakashi didn’t hear the slight hesitation in her voice and how overly optimistic she was being. He should have known better.

The kisses she left burned Kakashi’s skin and felt unbearably hot whenever he thought about his final moment with her. She was everything to him and it felt as though their relationship had only begun.

For years, she chased him around. He always said no. She had incessantly, annoyingly, and half-jokingly asked him to marry her even as kids. Even when he had turned into a cold, distant killer in his ANBU days, S/O greeted him with exuberance and the audacity to ask him out on “dates” which he begrudgingly would agree to just to make her shut up. S/O was the reason he had a small bit of the adolescent experience.

“You’re so slow, Kakashi!” S/O whined as she pulled on his arm.

“I don’t know about this, S/O,” Kakashi trailed. They were barely legal. In fact, S/O still had a month before she turned of age. “You’re not twenty yet and trying to get into a bar.”

“You think they’ll actually ask?” she asked offendedly. “I put on makeup and everything! Besides, this isn’t my first time! I promise we won’t get caught, okay?”

“One day, all these thing are going to catch up with you,” Kakashi sighed but followed her.

Had all her mischief finally caught up to her? Had her schemes gone too far this time? Those were innocent things though. Then again even on missions, she was clever and made risky moves. He knew that. Did she mess up? Why didn’t he ask to go with her? Tsunade would have said no. He should have insisted though. Why didn’t he notice something was off?

Rarely did Kakashi have outbursts, but when he did, Kakashi took it to the training grounds. Sharp chirping and zipping sounds erupted with lighting that balled up in the palm of his hand. Kakashi struck his infamous jutsu through straw dummies. Dizzy from the overwhelming emotions that was bubbling inside him, Kakashi fell to his knees.

He just wanted her back…To go back to the day she impulsively kissed him for the first time.

“S/O, you can’t just walk away from this,” Kakashi scolded. “We might be back in one piece this time, but a move like that can seriously jeopardize the team.”

“But thanks to me we’re home two days early,” S/O debated. “No one was scratched.”

“It was unprecedented and unauthorized by your captain,” Kakashi furthered. “You should have at least talked to me.”

“You were going to say no anyways because you’re such a genius!”

“Drop the attitude.”

“Is that an order, captain?” She spat the last word with bitterness and moved uncomfortably close to him.

Kakashi remained unfazed. “If it were, would you-” Kakashi’s words were cut off by a pair of soft lips against his masked ones. She held it there for a few moments and finally pulled away with a stubborn smile on her face.

“Would I finally listen?” she asked smugly. “Never.”

These memories constantly plagued Kakashi’s mind. He couldn’t get rid of them and it was driving him absolutely insane.

The trees rustled in a way that seemed unnatural. From the distance, Kakashi could sense chakra signatures. Nothing threatening, but he still collected himself off the ground.

“Kakashi!” the voice belonged to his good friend and rival, Maito Gai. “People have been looking for you.”

“Well you found me,” Kakashi stated bitterly.

“Well, this is no time for you just stand around,” Gai said. “Tsunade wants you at the hospital.”

“What?” The panic rose. Gai looked so serious for once. Kakashi felt his heart beat so hard it could just burst out of his chest.   

“They found her.”

[unexpectedreylo]

Yes, It’s Been Half A Decade Since TFA Was Released

Five years already?  Geez!

If you’ve been following my humble Tumblr blog since the beginning, you’ll know I was not truly a Reylo until I saw TLJ.  Before then, I was dealing with a movie that left me with a lot of mixed feelings.  Why?  I missed George Lucas for one thing.  He has an indelible style that few can match and few really cared about that universe and its characters as much as he did.  I was very unhappy to hear a month before TFA’s release that Disney tossed out his story and came up with something he didn’t really like very much (as later confirmed in Bob Iger’s memoir).  As a long-suffering prequels fan I didn’t like either the vaguely anti-prequel tone the pre-release hype took.  Whatever you do in life, don’t disrespect the man who created the GFFA. 

The post-release hype probably annoyed me even more.  Remember the doofuses screeching on t.v. that it was the best SW movie since TESB?  LOL.  (No, that would be ROTS and the only thing that came close since was TLJ.)  I hated that a movie I felt was flawed not only got passes from the media that really trashed Lucas and everybody who worked on the prequels, but also got lavish Best 10 lists and award nominations.  I was one bitter chickie for a while and later got a good laugh out of the backlash.

I thought it would be funny to post what I thought at the time, with added commentary:

Oh yes, the movie. My mother called it…it’s good, we all enjoyed it and were entertained, but Lucas’s touch is definitely missing. The romantic epic sweep of Eps I-VI, the goofy and whimsical touches, the feeling of being immersed in another galaxy, and Lucas’s gift for aesthetics aren’t there. The visuals don’t have that beauty and some of it is kinda ugly. The creature designs just aren’t as good. It’s not the kind of movie you watch dozens of times to catch little things. Even John Williams doesn’t have a knockout track like “Duel of the Fates” or “The Imperial March.” But it’s hard to think of how this was ever going to live up to any of it any more than I’d expect Suzanne Collins to write a Narnia book as good as C.S. Lewis. We lost those things when we lost Lucas.

I like the visuals a lot more now but TLJ’s cinematography rules the ST.  Still feel the same about creature design; I see better aliens and creatures on The Mandalorian.  One weird thing about the ST is how the filmmakers seemed to have avoided putting in anything at all that we’ve seen before.  No Jawas, no Togrutas, no Twi’leks, no Zabraks, no Quarren, etc.. Just Chewbacca and Admiral Ackbar.

The music didn't leave much an impression on me at the time but now I love “Rey’s Theme,” “Kylo Ren’s Theme,” and “March of the Resistance.”

As long as we’re on that note, I’ll get to the film’s flaws first. The movie has a lot of snappy, arch, and funny dialogue but you can tell the script was cranked out in a hurry. It lacks the careful structure of its predecessors and cribs a little too much from ANH. Poe disappears and you are led to believe he’s dead then he suddenly shows up healthy and hale with no explanation. Abrams’s first Star Trek film was riddled with unbelievable coincidences and unfortunately this movie has some of those too, such as when Han and Chewie just happen upon the Falcon in space. The film does very little to set up what’s going on and why, such as why the hell is the Republic fighting the same a-holes after all of these years. Abrams prefers instead to keep the action going instead of doing much exposition, which is pretty much what he did with the Trek films. Those little moments in Lucas’s Star Wars films don’t happen much here. Things must always be occurring, which dumps all of the responsibility for character development and world building on Rian Johnson and Colin Trevorrow. I have no idea why they decided to be all teasy-weasy with who Rey’s parents are instead of just telling us. (I suspect Luke is her father.)

LOL!   I guess the adoption by proxy thing at the very end of TROS proved me right or...did it?  Yes, my first assumption after seeing TFA was that Rey and Kylo Ren were cousins.

As for the rest of it, I still feel the same.  Rushed script, borrows too much from ANH, precious few explanations/set-up, not as good structure but still full of humor.

BB-8 is a charmer, Finn and Rey (who are so going to hook up) HA!  But remember I thought Rey and Kylo were cousins! have some charm and potential growth as characters, and it was great seeing our old crew again even if not under ideal circumstances. (Personally I would’ve preferred NOT to have broken up Han and Leia.) Hux had some mustache-twirling moments and Abrams was at least smart enough not to kill off him, Ren, or Snoke just yet. Finn and Poe have a good rapport (maybe they’re going to hook up).

Stormpilot definitely pinged the slash-dar.  It was completely unsurprising to find fans shipping them.

Abrams seemed to have avoided the mistake James Cameron made in “Avatar” when he killed off his most threatening villain while planning sequels. As you might have guessed, I was really shocked at Snoke’s death in TLJ.  I wasn’t expecting that until IX.  I was also really shocked at the casual, quick-get-rid-of-him ways both Hux and Ben were killed off in TROS.

The most compelling aspect of TFA for me was the Skywalker family drama, which made me wish it was more up front rather than a subplot. Ben Solo/Kylo Ren is a conflicted guy with a huge chip on his shoulder and it makes you wonder exactly what happened to him because I think he may have mental issues. Leia knows there’s still good in him but can a guy who commits patricide be saved? (RIP Han…I so knew this would happen because I figure it was the only way Ford would’ve done another film). Can his cousin/half-sister or whatever Rey save him? Would she want to? With Luke back in the picture and Artoo activated again, what will happen next? Even though they split up Han and Leia I liked the banter between them; it’s sad because they clearly still loved each other.

This is still true for me.  A few days after posting this it struck me just how nihilistic TFA was because I found Han and Leia’s split unnecessary (had Han gone out for Chinese food or on a mission for the Resistance instead of just being a loser smuggler, it wouldn’t have changed anything that happened in the film) and what I thought was Kylo’s certain fate to be a narrative bummer.  TLJ made me think they weren’t going on that direction only to be proven right in TROS (sadly).

I’ll dispense with the stupid Snoke is Plageuis theory and my dad wondering if Finn was Mace Windu’s lost son or something, though I’ll give him half a point for Finn turning out to be Force-sensitive after all.

I don’t know why people have said this takes them back to the ’70s because the film really is a 2015 movie made for an audience reared largely on the MCU, YA flicks, and other staples of contemporary geek culture. It is what it is and we aren’t going to get back the films of George Lucas and his influence. TFA might not be an awesome Star Wars movie but it is at least a good sci-fi action flick.

I still stand by most of this.  Time and TLJ made TFA a better movie in my eyes.

[babbushka]

I always hate saying it but I wish they wouldn’t have turned Kylo into Ben Solo. He was such a fantastic and complex villain and Adam played him so well. Ben Solo kind of felt like a cheap character they used to justify r///lo (which is a different issue in itself as we’ve discussed on this blog). I get that they thought Ben Solo was a happy ending for him but it really just made me sad because in my eyes Kylo was phenomenal.

I don’t hate saying it !!!! You’re right and you should say it!!!! 

And like, not only all of that which you mentioned, but it’s also just lazy writing. It’s such lazy writing. And narratively, it doesn’t make any sense for him to have “”””””turned back into Ben””””””” like none of his actions, wants, desires, or goals pointed in that direction for the entirety of 2 movies, and 98% of the third movie. 

The thing is, he didn’t deserve a happy ending. They were setting him up throughout the entire trilogy with actions that specifically do not deserve a happy ending. His entire character arc from the moment we see him to about the last 5 minutes that we get with him, he is unapologetically a villain. He did nothing to deserve his redemption, his redemption itself wasn’t even earned he straight up hallucinated it, and he himself didn’t carry any regrets for anything he had done when he dies!! A redemption arc takes time and realization and betterment of oneself, and Kylo straight up rejects Every. Single. Opportunity. to return to the light that is given to him. He deserved to be stabbed through the chest by Rey and then left to die a cold and miserable death. 

Kylo was such an incredibly interesting villain. The issue came when those lunatics decided he was for some reason a protagonist -- sidelining the actual protagonists and reducing them down to racist and sexist stereotypes that we were SO CLOSE to avoiding. 

But also, as a Kylo stan (because let’s be real even though he’s a psychotic massmurdering power hungry maniac, he is a sympathetic character and i do empathize with him on a lot of levels) it boggles my fucking mind that people can call themselves a Kylo lover and then refer to him as the thing he hated most! How dare they claim to be a fan of him and then constantly deny every single one of his own wants and hopes? They’re no better than Luke or Leia or Han or Rey, forcing this identity onto him that he works so so so hard to get rid of, to abandon and build something new and something of his own for himself? 

Because who even is Ben? Who is he? We don’t see him. We see a man with someone else’s name, with someone else’s mannerisms. We see a man with someone else’s lightsaber and someone elses clothes. We don’t even hear him speak aside from ‘ow.’ That’s not something to love, that’s an empty shell of a poorly written amalgamation of other people’s character. 

So I get so mad when people say they’re “”””ben solo stans””””, because #1 he doesn’t exist, and #2 even if we’re talking about the idea of him, it’s a slap in the face to kylo’s own autonomy as a character and a villain. And you’re right, we aaaaaall know it’s only to justify the actions of Kylo’s abuse and cruelty against Rey, so like, the whole thing just makes me so fucking angry. 

[rest-in-bees]

Answer 30 questions and tag others~

Tagged by @colorrushed​ thank you dear!!! 💖

1. Name - Alia

2. Gender - Nonbinary

3. Star Sign - Scorpio

4. Height - 5’2

5. Time - starting this at 5:38 pm!

6. Birthday - November 13

7. Favorite Bands/Groups - aside from when i hyperfixate on a particular song, i listen to whatever the spotify gods see fit to bestow upon me and i never know what it is or who’s making it

8. Favorite Solo Artists - see above lmao

9. Last Movie - pixar’s soul!

10. Last Show - last monday i watched manner of death’s new episode and some of 2gether

11. When Did I Create This Blog - pretty sure it was 2014?

12. What I Post - nothing. i don’t make my own posts on this blue hellsite unless i’m tagged in something, this is a reblog only blog

13. Last Thing I Googled - i don’t remember but i’m 100% certain that it was to win an argument against my best friend and i ended up being wrong

14. Other Blogs - this is the only one i got that i’ve ever used

15. Do I Get Asks - no but this is my own fault bc i used to get them and wouldn’t notice, so people stopped sending them 😔

16. Why I Chose My URL - bc i’m incredibly funny and i was dared to

17. Following - 323

18. Followers - 621. absolutely dying to know how that happened when i do literally nothing on here

19. Average Hours Of Sleep - anywhere between 5 and 9, depending on the day and if i have work in the morning

20. Instruments - started learning to play guitar in high school and then never got the chance to continue 😔i’d really like to pick it back up tho, and maybe piano as well!

21. What I Am Wearing - a stolen button down shirt, sweatpants that my mom tried to get rid of but failed, and cat slippers 🐈‍⬛

22. Dream Job - to design and build software in a position that lets me travel frequently and pays really well

23. Dream Trip - anywhere! i like travel of all kinds and i especially love the airport! the trip itself matters way more to me than the destination. that said, one can never go wrong with beaches or botanical gardens

24. Favorite Food - dark chocolate and french fries

25. Nationality - american

26. Favorite Song - unfortunately my fav song changes every time i hear one that i like better than my last fav song. all of the week before last it was that ending song from manner of death which i affectionately refer to as “bun’s song”, then there were two full consecutive days where listening to anything besides guardian’s ending song dealt me psychic damage, and now it’s a bunch of dance-y songs that spotify has blessed me with until i find a new fav

27. Last Book I Read - silent reading by priest! which i very highly recommend btw it’s got one of the few plots i’ve ever been genuinely invested in and the main pairing is v sweet and funny and also gay as heck

28. Fictional Universe I Want To Live In - animal crossing! very calm, can go to the beach whenever i want, the clothes are dope, the bugs don’t scare me, no one tries to date me, the only conflict is when my snooty villagers disagree on who’s the most famous popstar and then immediately make up with apology gifts, isabelle loves me. there’s nothing else i could ever want in life

29. Fictional Universe I Want To Live In Part 2 - winnie the pooh 🍯i could just spend all day helping eeyore find his tail and knitting with kanga and gardening with rabbit and bouncing with tigger and roo and napping with pooh and reading with owl and nodding sophisticatedly with christopher robin and gasping dramatically anytime anything happens ever and i love that for me

30. Fictional Universe I Want To Live In Part 3 - breath of the wild. the world’s over, everyone’s surprisingly chill about me paragliding all around town, i can beat up bokoblins by standing on top of a cliff and throwing things and they’ll never know it was me, i never have to talk and i’m building a house for me and my princess 🥰

Tagging: @carrotcouple @spearbeeknee @jesuslistenstostyles @maddyisenough @dammit-angel @zeno-obsessed @asianmanatea @imacookieslover @rollzerox @lokistabson @sapphiredragonprincess @winter-desu @aangnikeye @thatblucat and anyone else who wants to!

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 15

HQ screenshots, LODs, s4s model, some kpop stuff -- also if someone has the shine glitch on my older cc and wouldn’t mind testing my attempts at fixing the files.. message me pls

@moonbrightsims said: whats ur origin id?

It is aharris00britney I’m 99% sure

Anonymous said: how are your photos/screenshots so high quality? seriously, do you use a mod for it or idk editing? or maybe your settings?

Well I use 2 methods. I either make my game horizontal by going into Windowed Fullscreen in CAS and then pressing Ctrl + Alt + the ◄ key. It makes the pictures a lot more HQ than my normal resolution. For pics like the teaser for AxA 2019 and my lookbooks I use SRWE in a basement with a lighting box I built lmao. Foursims has a tutorial on how to use SRWE HERE

Anonymous said: if you don’t answer this ask you’re straight

I’m vowing off boys for the rest of the year so basically am! whew ;n;

Anonymous said: How do you do the ombré hair accessory?

@sweettacoplumbob has an amazing tutorial of how to do it HERE.

Anonymous said: Hi, would you mind teaching us how you make the LoDs of your hairs? I opened one of them in S4S and found out your LoDs are great looking. I use decimate tool in blender and they look really bad.

For hairs I usually delete the hairline mesh and extrude the outline of the hair inside the skull to get rid of any holes, then I decimate for LOD 1, 2, and 3.

For clothes I manually remake the all 3 LODs, if the mesh has any complicated parts though I will decimate a good chunk of it and then delete the parts around the neck/waste and use EA nude LODs to connect it back properly. this sounds so confusing omg im sorry ;n;

Anonymous said: omg ur cc finds blog has apink namjoo as icon and header. i'm.. sCREAMING. austin knows royalty

%% best kpop album of 2019 and I won’t hear otherwise

Anonymous said: Can you make a version of your Claire hair with no bangs??

I think that would look similar to my Madison hair tbh lmao, or one of my other 1000 basic hairs that have one side behind the ear sksksksk

Anonymous said: when will your sim models be available to download just curious

I need to update all my hairs from pre-2019 and that is priority rn ;n; so I am not really sure. Macie and Taylor’s old versions are up on my blog but they look different now so sksksk I will try and get them up ASAP

Anonymous said: Do you take requests?

I do not, but I am open to suggestions if you want to send me a picture. My DM’s are always open.

Anonymous said: Hey! Sorry but I can't find the download for Paris Hair anywhere on your Patreon, it only takes me to the other downloads which are locked to your Patrons.

Paris goes up in 5 days :) 4 technically since it is almost the 27th

Anonymous said: hello!! 1) ilysm 2) how do you put a skin into the sims 4 studio. not making a skin overlay, but using a skin on all of the mannequins uwu

Sims4Studio has a tutorial for it right HERE

Anonymous said: Your sims are too pretty😍❤

thank you! <3

Anonymous said: Where did you get the piercings for your sims from? Espacially the nose piercings - i couldn´t find them anywhere...

nose piercings? I don’t think I have ever used nose piercings sksksk

Anonymous said: Do you like kpop? cuz I saw the Jennie inspired hair and literally I had just watched the solo performance where she had her hair like it and I was scrolling and was like hay that hair looks a lot like Jennie's hair in her solo performance than I read the description and I saw it was and I just about died! also I cant type so sorry but like hey I tried            

yes! I love kpop lmao I have 974 songs in my K-Pop playlist lmao literally over 2 days long of music ;n;

Anonymous said: How does it feel knowing you have like a huge blog? Love your work btw!

It doesn’t feel like I have a huge blog tbh lmao, if I think about it thought I am kinda in aw that I have more followers than the amount of people that go to my university cause like.. that is so many people lmao.

Anonymous said: What do you think of Red Velvet's Zimzalabim comeback?

amazing! stream sunny side up and bing bing

[phoebtcnkin]

ABOUT ME.

NAME/ALIAS: Kayla / Satan 

TIMEZONE: PST (for now, but don’t ask me where we’re moving next LOL)

RANDOM FACT: I was adopted when I was three, am 11wks pregnant with our newest and long awaited wee one, and shamefully have over 10,000 likes on this blog with zero chance of ever fully clearing them out lmfao

CHARACTER ONE.

NAME: Lauren “Ren” Victoria Livingston (29)

FACECLAIM: Phoebe Tonkin, my queen.

in COCONUT GROVE you’ll find LAUREN LIVINGSTON who’s lived there for FOUR YEARS and they spend their days working as THE MANAGER OF NATALIA ESCABIAS LUXURY SPA AND A FREELANCE WRITER. They’ve been described as ROUGE STAINED MARLBOROS STUBBED OUT IN ANTIQUE CAVIAR BOWLS, POSTCARDS SENT FROM PLACES SHE’S NEVER BEEN, CHAMPAGNE IN SOLO CUPS, AND UNMET DEADLINES by the people that know them. Which makes sense when you consider that they can be ENGAGING + ADVENTUROUS but also IRRESPONSIBLE + IN DENIAL  

BACKGROUND.

grew up with a single mom who could never weave the same story twice about the origins and subsequent disappearance of her father.

lived on the cusp of wealth but didn’t actually have it… her mother, jane, was presumably from old money, but either the family lost it ages ago or she’d been cut off for reasons unknown.

they were ‘adopted’ by an older wealthy couple without children of their own when ren’s mother was pregnant with her aka given permission to live out of the guesthouse on their property for basically free

went all over when she was younger to “soul search” and sort out her life. basically just bummed around with a bunch of other barely legal adults who ate gas station food and drank expensive champagne and just a whole bunch of other nonsense

is approaching that age / stage of life where she’s meant to have her shit together but really doesn’t.

is still spending her money and maxing out credit cards on stupid things she can’t afford and doesn’t need. skips rent to go to fancy clubs. probably abuses something bc she can and she’s #lostandbroke inside

claims she’s an aspiring writer, and she’s trying she really is (sometimes), but doesn’t have anything to show for it if ppl asked

basically put together and #fine on the outside but a disaster on the inside

HEADCANONS.

HOMETOWN: Newport, Rhode Island

BIRTHDAY: tbd

NICKNAMES: almost exclusively goes by ‘Ren’, but a small few may call her L.V.

ORIENTATION: bisexual

MUSE SONGS: Girls Like You by The Naked and Famous, rock bottom by Caro, tba

CHARACTER TAG: can be found here.

PINTEREST BOARD: can be found here.

on any given day the only things you’re likely to find inside of ren’s fridge are a bottle of something alcoholic, a gel eye mask, and one of many credit cards frozen in the freezer.

in a similar vein, her oven is absolutely full of half clothes, half books.

is literally always on the verge of eviction bc, as mentioned above, she prioritizes p. much anything over responsibilities.

will 1000% justify buying five pairs of shoes she can’t afford bc she got them at a sample sale for the price of one at full retail

once upon a time she excused bad habits and terrible choices under the premise that they were hands on experience for the sake of her writing... except all these years later she’s still on her bullshit and hasn’t written anything of quality in ???

can’t be trusted to keep a pet rock alive let alone anything else

has never, not once, been able to say no to anything made of silk or velvet

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

this is already crazy long so i’m going to be making a sep. post for these and will add the link as soon as it’s finished, but you can expect to see things like: neighbors, coworkers, friends she’s met since moving to miami, the people she hung around during her years of travel and shenanigans, messy exes, drug dealer, former (kinda) sugar daddy lmfao, secret family, etc.

CHARACTER TWO.

NAME: 👑 Alicia Josefine Palmeiro (30)

FACECLAIM: Ana de Armas

in CORAL GABLES, you’ll find ALICIA PALMEIRO who’s lived there for ONE WEEK and they spend their days working as A (CURRENTLY UNEMPLOYED) LAWYER. They’ve been described as SHARP GLANCES, RUNNING IN HEELS, AND THE SCENT OF ACRYLIC PAINT FAINTLY LINGERING BENEATH ARMANI PERFUME by the people that know them. Which makes sense when you consider that they can be ELOQUENT + AMBITIOUS but also MATERIALISTIC + INDIFFERENT.

BACKGROUND.

comes from one of those richer than god families that have a library named after them somewhere and flaunt it. grandfather was the former governor of NC and her father is the current state attorney there

basically grew up with anything she wanted under the sun aside from attention and love. she was more of a business/brand investment than a beloved child in their eyes. rafael and gabriella (true monsters, lemme tell u) had her entire life mapped out and signed in blood before she was even conceived.

thought it would be really fun once to get a boyfriend in HS and hasn’t been able to get rid of him since. pls don’t call the cops if she threatens to light jaxon on fire bc she’s not serious. except for the one time she prob almost did.

speaking of things she almost did... she almost ran away with him after hs graduation in the pursuit of true love and following her dreams

daddy blackmailed jax into leaving her without a word, though. he listened (with good reason). instead of being happy and painting to pay rent, ali sucked up her tears before her mascara could run and went off to duke.... u guessed it.... exactly as her parents planned.

years later ran into jax again and they had an affair while she was engaged to another man. it ultimately led to their birth of their now 1.5 year old son

wyatt is probably the only thing she cares about more in this world than birkin bags and lingerie and shoes. on wednesdays she’ll let jaxon grace the list, but only if he leaves his muddy boots and potato chips at the door.

they’ve just moved to miami in a panic bc she found evidence against her father that proved they weren’t safe around him anymore (can share deets, but it’s chalk full of triggers so i won’t add it here)

HEADCANONS.

HOMETOWN: Wilmington, North Carolina

BIRTHDAY: August 16th, 1989

NICKNAMES: Ali, Princess, Queen Alicia P.

ORIENTATION: attention and diamonds (no but really she heterosexual)

PERMANENT PAIN IN THE ASS: Jaxon Martins

CHILDREN: Wyatt Martins, 1.5 years

MUSE SONGS: Me Too by Meghan Trainor, tba

CHARACTER TAG: can be found here.

PINTEREST BOARD: can be found here.

currently living in the penthouse suite at the biltmore hotel while they house shop for a mini mansion up to ali’s standards

is the stomping parrot when jax refuses to give her the attention she wants. or when she’s giving him the silent treatment but wants him to know she’s still mad.

thinks $20 t-shirts are just the result of misprinted tickets.

might cry if you try to take her inside of a dollar store or walmart.

couldn’t cook a meal to save her life and will absolutely get something catered and then take the credit when you tell her how delish it is.

has extreme trouble expressing her verbal emotions, so her displays of affection typically manifest in the form of gifts. ali will secretly obsess for weeks over finding the perfect present to fit the recipient 

not saying she’d throw u in front of a bus but…. if she doesn’t like u she prob wouldn’t hold out a hand to save you either.

is actually a warmhearted arsenic laced cupcake with a painter’s soul beneath her icy shield and devil blood. she does care. stg. mommy and daddy just never taught her how to show it.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

just like before, i’m going to be making a sep. post for these and add the link as soon as it’s finished, but you can expect to see things like: neighbors, family local to the area (depending on from which side, would also need to be discussed with @fcntastical​), new friends, artsy friends she can be herself around, mom friends (gimme a real housewives of miami club pls), people connected to her father and all his maniacal ways, fr/enemies, etc.

[thenervouscook]

Nervous Cooking: An Intro and How To

Hello there. I’m a nervous cook. I hate wasting food. I don’t like being bad at things. I have a very complicated relationship with food, thanks to an eating disorder.

In short, I often feel daunted in the kitchen, have felt that a lot of recipes gatekeep information and make it hard to me to feel like cooking is accessible and fun.

I like food. I love the idea of cooking. With the help of some nice people I know, I’m making good progress into enjoying the kitchen, and playing around making things and swatting away the dreadful pretentiousness, snobbishness, and pomposity that sullies what is supposed to be a joyous, wholesome, and ultimately tasty activity.

So where to start? Before we get to sharing recipes, let’s have a breakdown of what we’re trying to do for ourselves, before we even turn the oven on.

How do we become less nervous in when cooking?

1. Put some music on.

There’s nothing as daunting as standing in your kitchen with a recipe open, feeling like you’re already set for failure before you’ve even begun. So with that, put some good tunes on. You might have to turn the volume down occasionally as it is distracting you too much from the task at hand, but honestly, set yourself up for a good time.

Hall & Oates are great for making your meal with.

2. Read the recipe first. Maybe read it a few times.

Too often, I’ve started cooking and followed the recipe as a go, only to find that the person who wrote the recipe can smash out some sauce in 40 seconds while it takes me ages to do, while I burn my onions in the process. 

Reading the recipe first enables you to plan for any tricky moments where you feel unsure, or indeed, helps you to work out how to re-word something that might confusing rather than having to translate it when you’re in the middle of cooking something.

Recently, I made something that said “add 100ml of stock”, which wasn’t included in the recipe itself - reading it through before setting off meant that I didn’t have a nervous breakdown halfway through.

3. Prep the ingredients

Foodies call it ‘mise en place’ - don’t worry about foreign phrases yet, we won’t be using them here and we’ll probably do a translation of cooking terms at some point. These phrases are perfectly fine to use if you know what you’re doing, but of course, when you’re a nervous cook, your brain can go “AAAAAAAAAARGH I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS AND I’M ALREADY TALKING MYSELF OUT OF COOKING AND I MAY AS WELL JUST GO TO THE CHIPPIE”.

Calm down. It’s all good. Maybe we’ll do a glossary of terms later, so we can understand what these people are talking about.

Don’t worry. Mise en place basically means getting everything ready before you start, like they do on the telly. You’ve seen a TV chef saying “add half a tablespoon of paprika’, and they just tip it out of a little bowl, rather than measuring out while the pan’s on? It’s that.

So, if you’re making a curry and the recipe says that 4 spices are all getting thrown in at the same time, then measure them out first, put it in a bowl, or a little glass dish you’ve saved from when you ate a fancy yoghurt that came in a glass thing rather than a plastic pot, or even a cleaned out plastic yoghurt pot - it literally doesn’t matter - you measure them out, throw them all into a thing, and when the time comes to add them to your cooking, you can lob them in the pan without thinking about it, because you did the groundwork before the stress of the timer.

And ‘mise en place’ will not be used again on this blog, because there’s no need really.

4. Convert American measurements in advance

If you’ve found a recipe that looks ace on an American site, you’ll soon find out they measure everything differently. They have a ‘cups’ system. 1 cup is 128g or 4.5 oz.

If your scales are accurate enough to measure 128g exactly, go nuts. If not, take the time to find another recipe that has measured things out in a way that is more useful to you. If you have the money, have a look online and buy something cheap that measures out in American cups. 

Just don’t get caught on the hop while you’re in the middle of cooking your tea and get yourself worked up.

5. You can still eat a cock-up

American writer Hanif Abdurraqib said: “I'm not normally one for baking — I get that it is mostly all about the following of instructions, but I think that has always made the task more daunting for me and my many anxieties. If I failed, that failure would be speaking to some greater inability, or it might tell me something about myself. But, my anxieties, though busy as ever, aren't very interested in whether or not I fail at the moment. Also, I have such a low bar for edible desserts. Even a failed baked good is still a baked good worth consuming, in my home.”

That’s one of the golden things good cooks never share - even when you mess up, chances are, you can still eat it. Set your bar low. Don’t tip it in the bin because you’ve failed or because it looks like a mess.

I made a banoffee pie, and was worried I was going to balls it up, because I’m rubbish at whisking. Talking to a very talented chef I know, she said “don’t bin it - mix it up and call it Banoffee Eton Mess style!”

That was a very important lesson to learn - if it doesn’t work out perfectly, then re-brand the fucker and eat it anyway.

6. Follow good food people and ignore perfectionists if you want

A lot of broadsheet food writers and TV chefs are perfectionists, and don’t share their mistakes. When they appear on TV, they’re often berating some poor amateur cook for messing up their flans or whatever, because they’ve entered a talent show like Great British Bake Off, Masterchef, or whatever.

Ignore all that if you want, or if it puts pressure on you. It’s just you in your kitchen, making something to eat. Doesn’t matter if it looks like a road accident when you put it on your plate, as long as it tastes good.

Everyone’s Instagram accounts only show you their successes, so you can write those off too, if they’re doing your head in.

That said, there’s good people out there who will show you short-cuts, things to not worry about, and enjoy food that looks like an absolute mess. David Chang is a good chef to follow - on his Instagram, he cooked chicken thighs in a plastic bag in the microwave ‘round his mums, and has a show called Ugly Delicious where the focus is about getting rid of the pointless rules and aesthetic bollocks that stops a lot of people from wanting to cook.

Brad Leone at Bon Appetite is another good egg - he’s very much a ‘bung it in, that should be alright shouldn’t it?’ type of cook. Very unpretentious. Good fun. Pronounces the word ‘water’ funnily.

7. Focus on flavour, not aesthetics

I talked to someone who knows a lot of professional chefs, and they told me the difference between restaurant food and what we cook at home is the delicious but disgusting amounts of salt and butter they put in everything. Like, you’ll use a splodge of butter in your food, and a pro chef will stick a whole pack in. 

Season the crap out of everything too. Keep tasting it as you go along - you’re not a pro kitchen who has to worry about sticking a spoon in your mouth and then returning it straight to the pan.

When a recipe says 2 cloves of garlic, and you know you love garlic, sod it, put 3 or 4 in.

If you’re nervous about making your food too salty, for example, then just follow the recipe to the letter, and then when you serve it up later, if it needs more, just whack a load on as a booster at the end. It’s cool.

8. Don’t worry about having loads of gear

You might read some recipes that ask you to pulverise something in a food processor and you might not have one. If you can afford the gear, fine, go wild. If not, see what the alternatives are. You might be able to do it by hand, or you might be able to cheat by buying some pre-mixed stuff. Cheating is good. Don’t worry yourself.

If you’re bad at mincing garlic, just buy a tube of garlic paste. The only people who would judge that are terrible people, and terrible people don’t deserve your cooking.

9. Worst case scenario

You’ve burned your food. You’ve used salt instead of sugar. The whole thing has gone so badly that it is inedible. You feel defeated and annoyed at yourself. You swear you’ll never cook again.

It’s okay to wallow for a bit, but remember this - if you angrily sling everything in the bin and walk to the chip shop or Maccies - a Big Mac or chips pie and gravy is still a 10 out of 10 meal to have. In terms of you eating, you’ve not failed yourself.

Get stuck into your nuggets meal and enjoy them, and you’ll remember to not put salt in, instead of sugar next time.

10. Give yourself a break

Chefs, foodies, and cooks often forget to tell you what it feels like to not know how to cook. That makes sense - they’ve been practising for ages.They’re at a certain level, and assume the person they’re talking to is at a certain level too. 

When they casually say “knock up a quick roux” and you’re not sure what a roux even is, that’s okay - you can either stop listening to them, and watch a YouTube video about what a roux is, how to make one, and what they’re for... or you can carry on watching your show and just have a holiday in someone else’s good skills.

I can play guitar quite well, but I don’t hear a blistering solo on a Steely Dan record and think ‘well, I may as well throw my guitar into the street’ - I can pootle along on mine, while enjoying someone else who is better at a thing than I am. Try and do the same with food shows. You can always turn them off if they’re making you feel depressed - you don’t owe anyone shit.

Remember how grateful you are when absolutely anyone else cooks for you and how you don’t judge anyone else’s food harshly, because you’re not an arsehole? Do the same for yourself.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Animal Instinct + Dead Disco | Writing Update

Hey People of Earth!

We’re back with another Moth Work update because ya girl has finished two chapters and is here to spill all the tea! If you missed update one, and two, be sure to check them out before reading this one! I’ve been having a bit of cabin fever with this project lately which has made it difficult to really immerse myself into the project. But we’re almost at the 20k mark of this project which is wILD! I never imagined writing so much of this story (which was initially just a guilty pleasure) and I’m happy with how much I’ve learned about my characters just through this small detour in the series.

The first chapter I’ll be updating on is chapter four, ANIMAL INSTINCT. 

This chapter was a giant pain to finish! It had about 5000 revisions mid-draft, and I definitely feel like I had blinkers on when writing it. Because of that, I lost sight of the big picture and really got stuck on the little things, like the writing and overall quality of the project. This was not actually the purpose of Moth Work--it was supposed to be a dumping ground for whatever. However, in this chapter, I became really hyperfocused on all the small details I disliked which made drafting it a month-long process. I’ve now come to a slightly healthier place with quality in this draft, and found a middle ground between trash-dumping and nitpicking. 

What’s it about?

Animal Instinct is a major point of tension for Lonan and Harrison as their goals deviate. This chapter focuses heavily on the volatility of their relationship and highlights Lonan’s current irrational mental state. The title stems from this idea of calculated action for the sake of a single person’s benefit. 

The writing bit: 

I struggled to write this chapter quite a bit. It took me the majority of July to complete because of a major logic problem I kept running into. After struggling for a few days, I finally realized by fleshing out what I’d written initially, I could overwrite the logic problem. The solution took a lot of work/test scenes to figure out, but eventually I got it!

Excerpts:

I shared this excerpt before because it’s one of the only paragraphs I don’t mind in this chapter! I think the flow is a lil funky but I dig the concept! This outlines the last bits of the cabin, specifically Harrison’s final check around the perimeter. 

Around the corner, the back patio is static—like Anna and her son never stopped sitting there. Her bowl of avocado and Greek yogurt—the holistic remedy Emily said would make her glow like an angel—sits gummy and pestered with flies. One of Milo’s toys is wedged under the cheap lawn chair. It haunts him, seeing them while not seeing them, but he leaves everything like it is. Anna and her son will always remain on the patio, Anna with her cheekbones splayed for the moon, Milo babbling mildly about his father like he hasn’t made the connection. They’ve gone invisible.  

After this first scene, Harrison does some driving in the dark which gives me major book three vibes lol, and eventually pulls into a motel somewhere in Nevada. This route from Oregon to Boston makes no sense but I conveniently needed Lonan to end up in Vegas, so!! do it for Vegas!!

In the motel, Harrison meets Jeremiah, his potential new man lol. Harrison is focused on getting in and out of there as quickly as possible, but he’s like dang mans teeth are the straightest I ever did see (me too tho). Because he gets distracted, he fails to notice his car turn off, and only makes the connection after passing it a few times in the parking lot. He minorly paniques as he looks for Lonan, but eventually finds him around the building. 

The scene that follows gets volatile as heck, and really showcases how similar Lonan and Reeve are? Like dang that whole family tho? (Can I join?)

I’m not going to share much of this scene because she gets dramatic, but this is the wildest dialogue I’ve written in a while and I think I’m going to steal it and make Reeve say it because something like this would come out of her mouth:

“Do you feel that, Harrison? I could burn you with a cigarette and call it a wolf bite and nobody would know the difference.” 

sounds normal at first then NOPE

The next chapter (chapter 5) is called Dead Disco:

This chapter came together very quickly because I’d had it basically planned out, however, it veered into an emotional direction I wasn’t expecting. This chapter was supposed to be fun and lighthearted, and it ended up being... not that??  

What’s it about?

After the tragic drama that occurs in the previous chapter, Harrison wakes up the next morning to notice that Lonan has #left and #taken the car. This is v/ not good, but instead of getting super worked up he chooses to chill out at Jeremiah’s place and chill ft. some disco. I meant for it to be cute but Harrison ends up in a mental place I wasn’t expecting, so the chapter feels a bit “derealized” to me. After both Lonan and Harrison head out on their solo endeavors, they meet back up and this encounter ends *badly*. 

Playlist:

July 31st Rachel was feeling very enthusiastic about the playlist for this chapter (I was writing while listening to music) and wrote down a list of songs that describe the progression of this chapter (in order + all Nothing But Thieves because predictable!):

Holding Out For A Hero

Crazy

Afterlife

Hanging

Excuse Me

Forever & Ever More

You Know Me Too Well

I’m Not Made By Design

Amsterdam

Number 13

Itch

Hostage

BUT SHOUTOUT TO: Disco by Surf Curse

Probably the most accurate vibe here lol

Excerpts:

This first excerpt is Harrison angsting hard about missing his friends. I don’t *love* her but I don’t *hate* her! I tried revising it but it... flopped, so here’s the failed revision:

Lonan could say those words and it haunts him, how easily he taints him like a bad omen. There are so many things Emily would tell him to do to cleanse the bad magic, but Harrison recalls none of them properly. He remembers words like moon, and black walnut, and quartz crystal, and cardamom, but can’t think of what to do with any. He wishes he were like Foster, curious enough to carry around a pocket dictionary, or like his mother, clever enough to make something up on a whim. All Harrison can do is bury his face in his palms outside the restaurant and hope no one watches him. The main road bustles by and he wishes to be invisible, like Anna and her son. He wants his friends back. Foster could lull him to consciousness with a quiz on the different kinds of plants, which are edible, which are poisonous. Reeve would split a cigarette with him and scare him back to life with her driving. Emily will never speak to him but at least she’d cast a curse on him, and even that’s better than his nullified state of living. It’s disorienting, to feel asleep while awake. Harrison blinks hard, but everything feels the same—the buildings all shimmering, the people staring barely even people, everything derealized like it’s all been coated in REM. 

(tag urself i’m foster’s pocket dictionary)

This next excerpt outlines Harrison getting turnt with his new man and then getting philosophical? drunk Harrison be Aristotle and Madonna smushed together idk

Harrison knows he shouldn’t drink around a stranger but Jeremiah’s got a handmade bracelet and scribbly tattoos on his forearm so it’s hard not to trust him. Photo prints of hostels in Japan, statues in Europe, cathedrals in Paraguay decorate the walls in perfectly cut rectangles. Each is plumed with a dried flower and it reminds Harrison so much of Emily, he has to look away, back to the Lonan-coloured drink. He studies the shot glass like it isn’t transparent, the grooves around the perimeter, the engraving that reads Cancun 1987. He loses Jeremiah’s absent swish around him, and gets lost in the blue. The trifecta amazes him, how a colour as unnatural as this has manifested in Lonan’s eyes, his earring, this drink. He tips the glass back and finishes it in one go, and even though it’s strong and should taste like artificial blueberries, his mouth is tasteless and numb.

“You live here alone?” Harrison asks, raking his fingers through his hair. The apartment overlooks the strip across the street and Harrison gets lost in it, the artificial signs like bad advertising, the neons ill like influenza. When he looks toward Jeremiah again, his glass is refilled and he has to think hard to remember if he emptied it in the first place. 

This is where Harrison manages to make disco big sad + some lowkey salt at Lonan which is always! a! win!:

Together, they move in a trance, limber and manic. The glass in Harrison’s hand isn’t a weight—it’s a lifeline. The apartment blurs, and waves in slow motion. Harrison doesn’t hear the music or taste the drink; he feels nothing in the ground, and everything in his tongue. His hair swims in his face like Lonan’s, moving like he did in the water, careless in his forehead, his eyes. The pictures on the wall become the pictures in his bedroom, and the blinking doesn’t get rid of them. In his sidesteps with Jeremiah he sees him, in the glass, across the street, under a streetlamp. Taking his cigarettes, his light, his car, his mouth like a cannibal. 

To end this update, here’s some dialogue ft. savagery:

“You’re patronizing me.”

“You’re patronizing yourself.” 

A meme to accompany this lol:

So that’s it for this update! At the time of drafting most of this post (which was a few weeks ago), I wasn’t really feeling this project, however, after writing chapter 6 and switching POVs into Lonan’s head (where there’s lots of messy stuff to work with), I’ve been having a lot of fun!

I’m sorry updates have been slow on this blog--I’m in the process of moving so I’m getting busy, however, I hope to post at least one more update before I go off to school! Thanks for reading. :)

--Rachel

[inagetawaycarxo]

Being Sam’s Twin Sister + Dean’s Twin’s Sister Would Include

Requested By @witch-of-letters

❛Hey there! 😀 Just found your blog, and let me tell you -it's amazing! *Ahem* Can I request two sets of headcanons for being Sam and Dean's twin sister?❜

 A/N: I decided to merge this into one post, want to be tagged in any up coming spn fics or headcanons just message me.

 Being Sam’s Twin:

Sam being super overprotective over you.

Ganging up on Dean. Poor Dean.

Dean feeling left out when he is around you and Sam.

You’s both can tell when you’s are in danger or hurt or when you are feeling down and lying.

Setting him up on dates with your friends {well the ones that are still alive} though he turns them down politely. He doesn’t want to ruin your friendships, especially if the relationship between him and your friend turns out badly.

“Come on Sam, she’s your soulmate.” you whined, standing in front of him as he continued to look at his laptop screen.

“No offense y/n, but I don’t have any type of connection with your friends.” Sam sighed, looking up at you for a second then back at the laptop screen, typing away.

“She’s basically the girl version of you.” you whined.

“Still not dating her y/n.” Sam sighed.

“This is what she looks like.” You spoke again, taking your phone out and going into your photos, finding a selfie of you and her, then putting it in front of the laptop screen.

Though Sam didn’t even look at it.

“Fine, miss the opportunity of meeting your soulmate.” You huffed, turning around and storming off.

“What?” Sam asked, turning his head to the side to look at Dean.

“I’ll date her friend.” Dean smirked.

“No you won’t Dean, you’ll just flirt with her than sleep with her, then leave her, leaving y/n to pick up the mess.” Sam responded, making Dean roll his eyes.

Calling him Sammy.

Training together.

Sam talking you into running in the morning and eating healthy.

Always having each other’s backs when John got up you’s, even know you’s still look out for each other.

Inside jokes.

Reading each other’s minds, it especially comes in handy when you’s are in sticky situations.

Having your own ‘Twin communication’ which really pisses Dean off.

“You’s two are doing that twin thing again.” Dean grumbled, rolling his eyes.

Though you’s two have your own friends you will always be his best friend and he will always be your best friend.

Playing pranks on each other and Dean.

Getting into small fights and mocking each other. Though you’s always apologize after woods.

Worrying about each other. Especially when you’s go on solo hunts.

Sam not letting anyone hurt you.

Comforting hugs.

Always supporting each other.

Stitching each other up when one of you’s is hurt.

Of course, being a Winchester you die a lot then come back to life.

Dean and Sam make deals to bring you back to life.

Sam and Dean have a hard time letting go of you.

It takes a toll on Sam, seeing his twin sister die.

Movie Marathons.

Hunting with him and Dean

Researching together.

Like Sam, you had a demon blood addiction, though you still crave it.

Having nicknames for each other.

Being Dean’s Twin:

Dean being way overprotective of you.

Dean training you/ training together.

Bragging about how he is older than you.

“Yeah by five minutes.” You huffed.

“Whatever, I’m still older.” Dean replied, as you rolled your eyes in response.

You’s can both tell when you’s are in danger, hurt or lying or feeling down.

When you’s were little and your dad was out hunting, you would help Dean raise Sam.

Having your own communication with Dean.

Sam feeling left out when you’s do the twin communication thing or talk about something he has no interest in or yours and Dean’s inside jokes.

Always being there for each other and having each other’s backs.

Supporting each other, even if it is a stupid plan.

Inside jokes.

Reading each other’s minds.

Dean basically flirting with all of your friends {the ones that are still alive}

“Are you serious Dean?” you grumbled, as you two entered the bunker, Dean following close behind you.

“What? Why can’t I flirt with your friends have a little fun.” Dean responded.

You quickly turned around to face him, glaring at him, his smirk dropped into a frown.

“Because you will drive them away.” You yelled.

“Aw, you got me.” Dean replied, making you let out a grunt, before turning around and storming off.

Bickering all the time.

Fighting with him a lot, but you’s eventually get over it by the end of the day.

Mocking each other.

Stitching each other up when one of you’s get injured.

Dean getting low-key jealous of your bond with Castiel.

“He’s my best friend.” Dean yelled, making you roll your eyes, of course, he had this thought in his mind that you and Castiel were having sex.

“Oh, grow up Dean, I’m not fucking him, and if I was then so be it, we are both adults.” You yelled.

“He is way older then you, oh and he is my best friend.” Dean shouted, making you roll your eyes.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me.” Dean grumbled.

“I can roll my eyes, you aren’t the boss of me.” You grumbled.

“Yes, I am, I’m five minutes older than you.” Dean argued, getting in your face.

“So, that doesn’t make you the boss of me.” You yelled.

“Yeah, it does.” He yelled back.

Instead of talking you punched him square in the eye.

“Did you just punch me?” Dean spat out, holding his eye, as he looked at you.

“Yeah, and I’ll do it again.” You growled.

Before you could punch him again, Castiel wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his chest, holding you back.

“What’s going on?” Castiel and Sam asked at the same time as they held you and Dean back.

“What’s going on? Your fucking my sister, that’s what is going on, you broke bro code dude.” Dean answered.

“I can assure you, Dean, I’m not sleeping with your sister, and if I was then we are both adults.” Castiel sighed.

“Don’t you dare sleep with my sister.” Dean growled, getting free from Sam’s grip and storming off.

Blaming each other on petty things.

Even blaming each other if the plan fails on a hunt or the hunt goes badly.

Pranking each other and Sam and Castiel.

Being really competitive against each other.

Being best friends.

You’s can always count on each other.

Worrying about each other.

Dean giving your one night stands a lecture.

Dean getting worrying a lot when you go on hunts so he secretly follows you just to make sure everything goes smoothly.

Not letting anyone hurt you.

Worrying about him when he goes on solo hunts.

Comfort hugs.

Horror movie marathons, while drinking beer and eating pizza.

You love food just as much as Dean loves food.

Sam trying to get you and Dean into healthy living/eating.

When he walks away you and Dean mock Sam.

Dean getting up you when you try to make a deal to get Michael out of his or get rid of Michael once in for all.

“Why won’t you let me help you?” you cried out, tears spilling from your eyes, as Dean had his back facing towards you.

“Because your life is way more important than mine, don’t you risk it just to save me, and Sam shouldn’t have even told you that.” Dean replied through choked sobs.

“Don’t say that Dean, if there’s a chance to save you to get Michael out of your head and defeat him then take it.” You sobbed, as Dean finally turned around to face you, tears falling from his eyes.

“I can’t y/n the truth is I can’t live without you y/n, I couldn’t live with the fact that you sacrificed your life for me. I can’t live with that y/n, I can’t live without you.” Dean cried.

“Okay, I won’t go through with the sacrifice.” You sighed, as you quickly wrapped

“Thank you.” Dean sobbed, hugging you tighter, though you were still going to sacrifice yourself in order to save him.

Loving baby ‘Impala’ just as much as he does.

He lets you drive baby sometimes.

Dean has a hard time letting you go/die, so if you ever do die, you always end up coming back to life.

Which ends in a fight.

“You should have let me die Dean.” You shouted out him.

“I couldn’t, when you were dying in my eyes I just, I couldn’t let you go.” Dean sobbed.

“So, bringing me back to life makes you feel better, makes you feel like you haven’t failed me, just because you can’t let me go you had to bring me back to life.” You yelled, tears threating to spill from your eyes.

Dean didn’t even respond, only crying even harder.

“What about me Dean? What about my feelings? Do you have any idea how much of an emotional toll it causes me every time you bring me back to life. Do you ever think about me or my feelings?” you shouted, tears falling from your eyes.

“No, I don’t, living without you isn’t an option. I can’t live without you y/n, it hurts like hell whenever you die in my arms, I need you by my side, I need you… and Sammy. Whatever this world throws at us I know I can make it through with you and Sam by my side.” Dean spoke, as he wiped his tears away with the pad of his thumb.

“One day Dean, you won’t be able to bring me back to life.” You hissed

Whenever you die, it always takes a toll on Dean.

Weird/random nicknames.

Though he mostly calls you bitch and you call him an asshole or dickhead.

Feedback is appreciated!

[bakagamieru]

Hi!!! I’m hoping you can help - do you know why Zayn left One Direction? He was partying with Louis on March 14 in Thailand and left the band on March the 25th. So what happened in those 9 days for him to leave? I just don’t get it!! TIA!!

Hello,

It wasn’t anything in those 9 days that made him leave.  In fact, I don’t think it was his idea to leave at all.

I have a masterpost outlining most of my speculation relating to this: http://bakagamieru.tumblr.com/post/120840259353/zayn-stunt-summary

Of course there are other fans/bloggers (known as Team Stunt mostly) that have speculated about this as well.

Disclaimers

Please bare with me here and read the whole post (and preferably the other posts in my masterpost) before writing this theory off.  I 100% believe that if anyone takes the time to look at the evidence, it will become obvious that something very fishy is going on.  It’s just logic.

If you’re not coming into this post with the knowledge of 1D’s adversarial relationship with their team or with the knowledge that there are closeted gay couples within the 1D band (Louis and Harry, Liam and Zayn), then you might want to check that out first.  There are good resources out there for all of it.  I have some of it linked on my “ziam resources” and “larry resources” tags or on my Projects and Posts and Tags and Links pages.

It’s important to know what’s going on with these things and the history of 1D and their team because Zayn leaving being a stunt is a part of and a continuation of that.  

It might also help to check out who Zayn really is since a false and negative characterization of him has taken hold because of his public persona since his leaving.  I’ve got a few things linked on my summary masterpost.  Another tag on my blog to check out would be “pairing masterpost” (look for any including Zayn).  There’s also this post and this post and this post that show who Zayn is beyond the broody bad boy image he’s always been saddled with, extremely so in his solo career.  Myself, I think the lyrics from his solo albums, particularly Mind of Mine but also the Icarus part of Icarus Falls, shows who he is better than anything.  There’s no way to fake the gentleness and thoughtfulness inherent in the sentiments he chooses to express.  

Even if you know Zayn well already, it’s always good to revisit these because it can be hard to fully avoid the effects of being bombarded by everyone telling you he’s a selfish, erratic, rash, and disloyal person.  It’s good to be reminded of exactly how dorky, geeky, sweet, protective, thoughtful, intelligent, and caring he is.

Let’s Get Into It

The thing that made us start wondering about a stunt was the way Zayn left.  It doesn’t particularly make sense for a lot of reasons.

1) He had been more engaged than usual at the start of the OTRA tour, talking to fans on social media and practicing to get better at giving speeches on stage.  He was also just as affectionate with the other boys on stage as ever.

2) The reasons they gave for Zayn leaving were many and yet none of them ever made sense.  The WAY he left is also baffling.

Originally the implication was that Zayn left because he was caught “cheating again” on Perrie.  This is unlikely because 1) Zayn was never truly dating Perrie as it was a PR/bearding relationship (yes there is proof), and 2) Zayn and Perrie officially broke up that August anyway and if Zayn left for her, that would take away his reason for leaving and yet he didn’t return.  The same sort of theory popped up with the idea of Naughty Boy luring him away, but again, 1) Naughty Boy had been very pro-1D the year before, and 2) Zayn and Naughty Boy had a “falling out” and yet Zayn didn’t return to 1D.

They said anxiety immediately after he left, but then he started a solo career that’s bound to be more anxiety-inducing if someone has stage fright.  If the worst part of the job is dealing with people, then why would you get rid of the people who distracted most of the interviewer’s attention during interviews and the people who shared the stage with you?

They said he never liked being in the band, but if he likes the music/performing part (he ostensibly did because of going solo) and he likes the boys (there’s no real proof he doesn’t), that only leaves his management team to be causing the problem.  One Direction was just about to end their active contract with Syco/Modest, so why leave the band and risk penalties and censure instead of sticking it out until the end of the year?

Some said he left to go solo first and get the spotlight, but he didn’t actually release solo music until after the hiatus started, he risked a really negative public image by doing so, Simon Cowell had actually claimed the fall before that 1D members could do solo music while in the band, and he missed one of the concerts he’d been really looking forward to (Dubai) instead of at least waiting until the end of that tour leg when there would be a month-long break.  

Additionally, even though Zayn is supposed to be “free of Syco”, it’s pretty clear that his own team is sabotaging his solo career with a complete lack of promo and unnecessarily negative print interviews.  Zayn can’t be blamed for this because even if those things were his choice, they’re not going to earn money and his team has a vested interest in that and yet would apparently be doing nothing about it.  Going back to the theory that Zayn left because of not liking how Syco/Modest did things, clearly him going solo didn’t fix that problem whatsoever and Zayn is too smart to cut ties and burn bridges only to jump from one bad situation into another.

Some people say all of the above things were lies to cover the fact that Zayn and 1D just didn’t get along.  There’s no proof of this.  Like I said, he was just as affectionate with them leading up to his departure.  He was very complimentary of them right after he left, and then suddenly there were Twitter fights with Louis out of nowhere (very suspicious Twitter fights by the way), a supposed feud with Harry (that has only ever existed in the headlines as there is literally no proof other than “a source said”), and negative and then positive and then negative and then positive comments in print interviews despite this being very inconsistent with the official narrative of what’s happened.  Zayn has never from his own mouth said something vitriolic about the other boys.  In fact, the way he talks about them in his few radio/tv interviews is far more positive than his supposed words in print interviews (which can be manipulated very easily).

They claim that Zayn up and decided to leave and then caught a plane without anybody knowing and went back to the UK.  This is very unlikely considering all of the people around him that would notice like the bodyguards, etc.  Also, this assumes Zayn is the type of person who would make such a rash, snap decision.  They also announced him officially leaving not long after which begs the question, did Syco/Modest do nothing to try to persuade/coerce 1/5 of their biggest money-maker to at least finish the tour?

The way it was announced was quite odd, considering it was posted on Facebook of all places immediately after the end of a concert and sounded extremely impersonal like a PR person wrote it (which Zayn later confirmed).  The Mirror also reported on the announcement almost immediately which means they had to be tipped off because they wouldn’t have had time to find the announcement and create an article about it otherwise.

The other odd thing is that there were never any consequences for Zayn leaving.  He’s part of a huge money-making band and he broke a contract with his team, so you would assume that they would 1) sue him, 2) demand he pay the very high fee for getting out of the contract, or 3) drop him from the label/management agency and make sure no one else will work with him in the industry.  None of these things happened.  There’s obviously been no suit as it would have made news.  There was no payoff because Zayn’s net worth never changed in such a dramatic way.  Originally the story was that Syco ONLY let Zayn leave if he signed to them for his solo career, but then Syco claimed to have dropped Zayn BECAUSE he left, but then Syco was still listed on his first solo release (which is sketchy in and of itself).

And let’s talk about the timing once more because there’s a little more to it.  He left 7 shows before the end of the Asia/Africa leg of OTRA.  This meant that he missed the Dubai show which was in an area of the world where he was very popular, where he has cultural ties, and where he had explicitly said he was excited to perform.  That leg was the last leg before a planned 1-month tour break, which would have been a much more logical time to leave, break it to the fans, deal with the paperwork, etc.  That tour was also the last tour before the hiatus.  No, it wasn’t announced until later, but it’s very unlikely it wasn’t planned before that.  Even the fans kind of assumed there would be some sort of break after the album since as far as anyone could guess, that was going to be the end of the Syco/Modest contract time period.  

If Zayn couldn’t stand the band or wanted to go solo or couldn’t stand his management team, there was an obvious out coming up that would have been way less complicated and would have had way fewer potential negative consequences.  For any reason but anxiety (which is eliminated because of the baffling solo career decision), it doesn’t make sense for him to leave instead of waiting out the year.  

There are any number of oddities about the way he left and the given reasons for him leaving.  No matter what theory you look at, it isn’t consistent with logic OR with Zayn’s character and past actions.

So these things were why some of us were suspicious from the start and paid close attention as the events unfolded.  As we did, we just caught more and more inconsistencies and suspicious things.

3) Finally, I need to point out one massive area of evidence about Zayn’s leaving being a (particularly long-lived [although only a couple months longer than babygate]) stunt.  The shade.

The 1D boys have a long history of throwing shade that contradicts the official narrative, thus cluing fans in that some lie is being told.  There’s hella shade around Zayn’s leaving from both him and from the other boys.

The masterpost I linked at the top contains several posts about this, so I’m not going to rehash that here.  However, I will briefly go into what I think is the most compelling evidence that Zayn was actually planned to return to the band in August 2015.

The reason I find this particular shade so compelling is because it’s actually a pattern of shade, and not only is it a pattern of shade, it’s actually 5 overlapping and coordinated patterns of shade.  

The basic idea is that Zayn was scheduled to return on August 5th, around July 26th the boys learned that the return was delayed, the 2nd scheduled return was probably August 18th, and then that return was also delayed/cancelled.

First is Niall’s all-black pattern.  Niall had never worn an all-black outfit on stage before and he’d never repeated the same outfit more than 2 times in a row during a tour, but starting from the concert before Zayn left, he wore all black for 8 shows in a row until the end of that tour leg.  He stopped for the European leg and some of the NA leg.  Then, 8 shows before the August 5th show, Niall starting wearing all black again, like a bookend.  He didn’t make it to 8 shows consecutively because plans got changed, but he did continue wearing some amount of black at almost every show until the end of a tour in an organized pattern.

Second is Rainbow Bondage Bear’s (“RBB”) stickers.  In mid to late August, people started associating the recurring blue and green stickers on RBB with Louis and Harry because of their blue and green mic grips.  In fact, there were orange and yellow stickers (Niall and Zayn) before that, and a red sticker (Liam) showed up after that at strategic times.  The interesting thing is, Zayn’s yellow sticker was up for exactly 8 shows, ending on, you guessed it, August 5th.

Third is the Batman references.  With Liam taking the lead, the references to Batman skyrocketed in August.  Participants included Liam, some of the musical band members, Naughty Boy, and Zayn (yes, both sides participated).  Three particularly compelling references when put together are 1) the bat symbol that was put on the big screen at the 1D concert in Kansas City after the show (the bat signal traditionally calls Batman to come to it), 2) Zayn posting a fanart of his own name in the bat symbol (indicating himself as Batman), and 3) Naughty Boy posting a quote from Batman about the darkest moment being just before the dawn, which he posted with the hashtag “comesoon” (indicating a positive change coming soon).  All together, it’s hard not to read them as a sign that Zayn was supposed to return to the 1D stage soon.  Incidentally, RBB wore a Batman costume on, yes, August 5th.

Fourth is the 5th of the month pattern.  On the 5th of the month, from June 2015 to September 2015, something Ziam-related always happened with the exception of August 5th.  On June 5th Liam wore a ring (unusual for him at the time) in concert.  Surrounding circumstances point to it being Zayn-related.  On July 5th there was a video taken of Liam singing and coming out of the shower where surrounding circumstances point towards Zayn being the one filming.  On September 5th, Zayn and Liam started posting Instagram pictures that seemed to mirror each other or hint at Ziam in some way.  On August 4th, the Zerrie break up was announced, but on August 5th there was nothing in particular.  However, there would have been if that had been the first concert Zayn returned.

Fifth and final is related to the in-ears the boys wear on stage (and specifically to the 2nd return date this time, August 18th).  Oddly enough, the boys seem to change their in-ears in overly patterned ways and although I can’t identify what exactly they’re marking all the time, some of the ones I can link match up to Zayn’s leaving and potential return.  Liam wore a different set of in-ears for the last 5 concerts of the Asia/Africa leg of OTRA, starting on the Jakarta concert which was the first after Zayn’s official leaving announcement was made.  Later, starting on the Winnipeg show on July 24, the first show after Niall’s all-black bookend was disrupted (indicating Zayn’s return date was probably in flux at that point), Niall wore different in-ears for 3 shows.  Then Niall switched back to his regular and Liam picked up the pattern seamlessly by wearing different in-ears for 3 shows and 1 TV performance.  There are 2 possible ways this pattern could have ended that would make sense.  1) Liam could have counted the TV performance, worn in-ears for 1 more show and that would have completed Liam’s bookend of 5 different in-ears ending the show before Zayn’s (2nd scheduled) return on August 18th.  This would have resulted in a total of 8 performances with different in-ears counting both Liam and Niall and both concerts and TV performances, which partially (it doesn’t end on the concert Zayn would return)matches Niall’s bookend pattern.  2) Liam could have not counted the TV performance (the in-ears are almost exclusively a concert pattern) and worn in-ears for 2 more concerts, resulting in 8 total different in-ear shows ending on Zayn’s 2nd return date, completing Niall’s bookend pattern.  This would also mean Liam wore his in-ears for 5 performances, partially matching his bookend pattern (but not ending before the concert Zayn would return).  Again, I think the pattern was disrupted because Zayn’s return was again delayed (indefinitely as it turns out).

All of these patterns are explained in more detail (and with visuals because heaven knows it’s just a lot of dates and numbers without seeing it) in posts that are linked to my masterpost.  

There are also several other surrounding events that seem to confirm Zayn’s delayed returns such as:

the Zerrie break up;

an aborted Zayn-Naughty Boy fight;

the advent of positive 1D-Zayn relations leading up to August and then negative press resuming around August 17th;

a few things that might match up relating to Niall’s Where We Goin’ Today Mark video shade pattern; and 

the release of Drag Me Down which seems to have possibly been moved up by a week or so, indicating it originally might have been an OT5 song meant to be released around Zayn’s return.

To me, the fact that these patterns were so obviously deliberate (they’re way too organized not to be) and that they all overlap and point to the same dates, along with the fact that people from both camps participated in the Batman pattern, points to a definite return plan that was positively anticipated by both the boys and Zayn.

If I were to ever wonder if maybe Zayn really didn’t want to return even if leaving wasn’t his idea in the first place, this is what makes me positive that he did.  

If I ever wonder if maybe there was a falling out with Zayn and the boys after he left, even if he didn’t want to leave to start with, the shade from both sides makes it obvious to me that there never was any real bad blood.  If they all go to the trouble to contradict the official story, then clearly the official story must be a lie and the boys must all be on the same page.

Conclusion

I know this is a long post, but this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the sketchiness around Zayn leaving.  

Unfortunately, I haven’t followed through on organizing all the evidence like I had planned to at one point, but I think the masterpost I put together does cover a lot even if it’s a bit repetitive with some posts and a bit disorganized.

If anyone has questions that aren’t already covered in the masterpost, go ahead and send me an ask.