#his sleep schedule? fucked. gone. bad. nonexistent.

[tartt9]

good morning happy new episode day if jamie doesn't get the call up he will be having just a teeny bit of a breakdown : )

[mellowswriting]

OMG CONGRATS ON THE FOLLOWERS MY LOVE!!!!💙💙 I would love to request something angst but with a happy ending with Frankie please!!! I’m open for anything! Thank you so much!!!

Always

pairing || Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales x Reader

summary ||  You step in when Frankie’s ex leaves him with their baby and in turn, find your own little family.

word count || 7,213 

warnings || angst, hurt/comfort, parental abandonment

a/n || Thank you so much! Somehow this started as something small and then exploded into my longest fic on this blog. Enjoy! (p.s this gif does things to me smh)

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The last thing you expected was a phone call at the crisp time of 11:43 pm. It had been a long day already with your job being a disaster and you were half tempted to just let it ring so you could stay in the warm, safe cocoon of your bed...but something in your gut nagged at you to pick up, told that it was important. The bleary sight of Frankie’s name on your phone screen had you sitting up and rushing to hit the green ‘accept call’ button - he would never call this late unless it was serious. 

He sounded wrecked, his voice panic-stricken and cracking over words too rushed for you to understand, and your heart began pounding. In all of your years of knowing Francisco Morales, you had never heard him like this. Not when he called you while he was out on deployment, not when he whispered to you about the horrors he had seen overseas, not when you comforted him after the shitshow that happened in South America. 

“Frankie, slow down. I can’t understand you,” You tried to make your voice calm and reassuring but your worry bubbled through anyway, and you threw back the warm comfort of your blankets to scramble for clothes. Whatever this was, you needed to be there. There was no way in hell you would just listen to your best friend go through it over the phone. “What’s going on?”

A deep, shuddering breath crackled through the receiver, then “Eliza left us. She just...she just fucking left.” 

Your breath caught in your throat and acidic anger ripped up through your chest, nearly suffocating you in it’s intensity. The mere idea of her walking out on Frankie and their new baby after all she had already put him through...god, you could just scream. It was forced down with a harsh swallow - it was not the time for your own anger. With your sweatpants and hoodie yanked on, you paused, struggling to find any words of comfort. “I’m on my way, okay? I’ll be there soon.” 

“Ok” Frankie whispered and that was how you knew just how bad it was - he didn’t try to convince you not to come out so late or that you could just come in the morning like he did any other time he was in crisis. “Please don’t hang up.” 

“Frankie…” You whispered. Your heart ached for him, wrestling with your anger. “I won’t. I’ll stay on the line, I promise.”

You rambled about any and everything as you drove. He needed to hear your voice, needed to be distracted, but you felt a bit ridiculous talking about the boring things you dealt with at work that day while he was in crisis. It helped, obvious by the way his breathing evened out as he listened and hummed in response.  

There was no telling just how many traffic laws you broke as you sped the few blocks between your home and his. All you could do was be glad you weren't pulled over and managed to throw your car in park and kill the engine in the gravel driveway within ten minutes of leaving your own house. The front door swung open before you even managed to get out of your car and you practically sprinted up the steps to wrap your best friend in your arms. 

Frankie stumbled back slightly as you collided with his chest but he curled his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck nonetheless. No words passed through the nonexistent space between you. There wasn’t any need. You pushed the door closed behind you before you led him further into his living room and settled next to him on the couch. The sight of his bloodshot eyes and the exhausted slope to his shoulders had a wild mix of anger and sadness whirling through you. 

“Where’s Isabella?” You whispered.

“She’s asleep upstairs. Eliza dropped her off and she just...slept right through it all, the entire argument.” His voice was hoarse, a testament to his rough night. “I...I can’t do this on my own.” 

“Hey, you aren’t on your own.” You said, your tone soft but leaving no room for argument. “I’m not going to tell you it’s going to be easy, but you sure as hell aren’t alone. You have me and the boys. God knows Santi will be happy to flex his status as godfather even more.” 

That pulled a half-hearted smile from Frankie. It was fleeting, gone in less than a second, but you counted it as a win nonetheless. Watching that far away look return to his eyes made you chest ache and you were desperate to break the spell of worry and anger that hung over him. Somehow knowing that you couldn’t even if you tried brought you no closer to peace. 

“Have you eaten?” You asked as you carefully brushed a hand through his hair, appreciating the curls that were usually hidden under his hat. Frankie leaned into the touch and you smiled softly at his acceptance of the comfort you offered. 

“No, but I can’t eat right now.” Frankie grumbled. The intensity of the anger, the shock, the fear, it all gave way to a mind-numbing exhaustion and he just wanted to sleep. You sighed but didn’t push him. “M’tired.” 

“Alright, c’mon. Let’s get you to bed.” You heaved yourself from the couch and offered Frankie a hand to pull him along with you. He grumbled quietly to himself as you ushered him up the stairs, the both of you mindful of the sleeping baby. Frankie flipped the baby monitor on and took a moment to observe the grainy image of his little girl, fast asleep and entirely unaware that their lives had just changed drastically. 

“She deserves better than a broken family.” Frankie whispered, the image of defeat as he sat heavily on the edge of his bed. There was nothing for you to say in that moment, nothing that would ease his burden or change his mind. So instead of speaking, you just sat next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulled him into your side and rubbed his back in slow strokes. Just when you thought he might be calm enough to lay down and get some sleep, Frankie went stiff against you and groaned. “Fuck, I have work tomorrow!” 

He was up and pacing a hole in the floor before you could even blink, grumbling out a quiet rant about the insanity of his situation. It seemed like he was a step away from spiraling out completely - and you knew just how to prevent that. Francisco Morales was a military man through and through; give him clear instructions and he’ll tackle a task with all he’s got. All he needed was for someone to help him see past the panic to the next step. 

“Frankie, stop.” You stepped in his way and put both of your hands on his shoulders firmly, only continuing when he finally looked you in your eyes. “Call the office now and leave a message for them to cancel your tours for the next couple of days so you can get your head on straight. It’s a family emergency. They’ll understand. And after you call them, you need to lay down and at least rest your body, because Isabella will need to be fed in a few hours and you need to get some sleep while you can. I’m staying the night -”

“Wait, what? No, you don’t have to -” Frankie interrupted but was met with your finger at his lips, almost cracking up when he pouted against it. 

“I don’t have to, you’re right. But my best friend needs my help and the little girl that I adore deserves to have a dad who isn’t ripping his hair out from stress. If the tables were turned and I was the one in this position, would you let me convince you to leave?” You took your hand away from his face when you shook his head ‘no’ and you gave him a small smile. “Exactly. So, I’m staying the night and I’ll be here to help wherever you need for as long as you need me. Okay?”

Frankie nodded. After that, it was easy to get him burrowed under his covers. His eyes drooped the second he was settled, and with a final brush of his hair off of his forehead, you turned to head back downstairs and set up a makeshift bed on the couch. A hand shot out from under the blankets to latch onto your wrist and Frankie sounded almost child-like when he whispered, “Please stay.” 

And who were you to deny such a sweet plea? You curled up on the opposite side of the bed, exhaustion finally dragging you under after the day’s insanity. Two hours later when a shrill cry had you both sitting bolt upright, you threw back the covers and slid out of the warmth of Frankie’s bed right along with him. 

“You go make her a bottle and I’ll check her diaper, alright? You asked around a yawn, already shuffling off to the nursery. Frankie made a tired noise of agreement and went downstairs, leaving you to scoop up his crying infant from her crib. “Hi, Bella. Let’s get you changed, yeah? Does that sound good?”

Once she had a clean diaper, you carefully carried her down the stairs and into the kitchen where her father was warming up a bottle. He smiled at the both of you as you approached and reached out to rub his daughter’s back where she lay against you, chest-to-chest. You could see the doubts worming their way back to the forefront of his mind by the way his smile faltered, and you put Isabella into his capable hands. 

“We’ve got this, Frankie. One day at a time.” You murmured to him before leaning down to coo at Isabella, grinning when she gave you a gummy smile. “Yeah, your daddy has you. Everything’s gonna be just fine.” 

And as you looked at the matching pairs of chocolate eyes sparkling at you in the low light of the kitchen, you could feel in your gut that you were right. 

----------------------------

After three weeks of staying at Frankie’s house nearly every night, the two of you had a schedule down packed and after two entire months, Frankie realized you were right. It sure as hell wasn’t easy - far from it, in fact - but everyone had stepped up just like you said. You would care for Isabella when Frankie was at work more often than not with Will and Pope picking up responsibility here and there where they could. The true savior here was you. You woke with Frankie in the morning, held his daughter up so he could kiss her forehead before he left for work, cared for her until he came home, and still stuck around to help after. 

You were a fucking goddess, and Frankie knew he would be lost without you.

Each day that passed had Frankie’s anger dissipating just a bit more. With his focus solely on establishing a new normal for his daughter, there wasn’t really time for him to think about just how screwed over he got. He was fooling himself into thinking that the storm of emotions that thundered in his chest didn’t need to be handled. Logically, he knew that. The clouds would crack and it would all pour from him eventually, he just didn’t know when. 

The boiling point hit on a Saturday. A beautiful day by all other standards; the sun was bright in the cloudless sky, leaving the air shimmering with warmth. The plan was to take a walk to the park with Isabella before meeting the guys for lunch, even though she wasn’t really big enough to enjoy the jungle gyms. In reality, Frankie just wanted to spend some time with his two favorite girls out in the sun. You had Isabella on the couch, getting her dressed after changing her diaper and rambling at her all the while. 

Frankie loved the way you talked to his daughter, as if she was entirely invested in whatever mundane story from work you were recounting, taking her gurgles and the spit bubbles she blew as excited responses. The stack of mail in his hand momentarily forgotten, he leaned over the back of the couch with a small laugh.

“Ya know, I don’t think she understands the intricacies of office politics.” He teased, his grin growing when you tossed him a glare that had no heat behind it. 

“And I don’t think she understands the intricacies of piloting helicopters, but you don’t hear me making fun of you when you ramble on about rotors at three in the morning.” You grumbled. The smile on your face betrayed any attempt to sound annoyed. 

Frankie barked out a laugh. “Touche.” 

With Isabella dressed and ready to rumble, Frankie intended to give the mail in his hands a once-over before heading out the door - until a large, yellow envelope with the state’s stamp inked in the corner caught his eye. What the hell did he do to have the state government contacting him? He racked his mind as he tore the envelope open, trying to think of any recent wrongdoings that could’ve gotten him into some legal mess. Maybe that red light last month actually caught his license plate last month. God, this was the last thing he needed right now with everything else he had going on, and - 

The five words stamped across the top of the papers made his heart lurch in his chest. ‘Voluntary Relinquishment of Parental Rights’, right there in bold lettering. Eliza’s signature was scrawled at the bottom along with a notary’s. He expected sadness, even tears, but no. 

No, Frankie was fucking enraged. 

White hot anger surged, leaving his teeth gritted and the papers crumpled slightly in his clenched fist. It had been years since he felt that kind of rage, somehow even worse than the anger he felt during the absolute shitshow that was the mission in South America. A shuddered breath escaped from behind his teeth as he desperately tried to grasp the urge to throw the papers to the ground, along with anything else within his reach. 

“Frankie?” The sound of your voice calling out to him sweetly, laced with concern and confusion, somehow only made that rage spike. The fact that you had put your entire life on hold to help him care for his child, the child Eliza swore up and down that she wanted with him before disappearing on them both, had him infuriated on your behalf as well as his own. Just how many lives was Eliza going to change forever with no remorse? Frankie tossed the entire pile of mail on the couch and stormed off to the kitchen, not wanting you or Isabella to see him in such a state. 

He had no idea how long he stood braced against the kitchen counter with his eyes squeezed shut, desperately trying to find a way to tamp down on the intensity rolling  through him. There was a quiet conversation coming from the living room, two voices too low for him to make out, and there was suddenly a hand on his own. Frankie finally opened his eyes to see you standing next to him, giving him a soft look that disarmed him and made him feel guilty all at once. 

You shouldn’t have to be here. You shouldn’t have to deal with the bullshit that always seemed to follow Frankie around every fucking corner. You were too good for his troubles, you deserved better. Frankie hated that he had brought you down this hole with him. 

“Where’s Isabella?” Frankie croaked out. 

“I called Will, he’s got her in the living room.” You said, your voice just as soft as the expression on your face, and Frankie wanted nothing more than to bury his face in your neck and cry or smash something on the ground just for the satisfaction of seeing it break. The confliction of his wants only made him angrier. “I saw the papers. What do you need?”

“What do I need?” Frankie repeated with a humorless chuckle before hitting the countertop with a clenched fist, just hard enough to make pain shoot up his arm - and the dam broke. “Anything! Anything but a life where the mother of my child doesn’t abandon us at the drop of a fucking hat!” 

The coffee mug that sat next to the coffeemaker was the unfortunate victim his impulses chose to meet the sudden, desperate need to get this rage out of his body. His arm reared back, ready to smash the ceramic mug right onto the tile, but the firm grab of two hands kept the lucky cup in one piece. You grabbed his forearm with one hand and wrapped the other over his, securing the mug in his grip as you stepped into his space and settled him with a firm look. 

“No, not here. Not like this, not with Isabella so close by.” Shame lanced through Frankie viciously. You were right, as always. How fucking stupid was he to think - “Let’s go.” 

“What?” was all he could mutter as you set down the mug and began pulling him towards the front door. 

“You’ve got Isabella, right?” You asked Will when you paused to fish your keys from the table next to his door, only continuing in your march towards your car when Will confirmed. Frankie’s guilt-ridden confusion only grew as you pulled out of his driveway after ushering him into your passenger seat. “You need to deal with this in a healthy way. Because god knows you have every reason to be downright enraged. Hell, I even wanted to throw shit around for a while.” 

Frankie could only stare at you, his anger and frustration simmering lower the more you spoke. There was a light in your eyes that he recognized, the same one that you had last year when he had to comfort you through the downfall and heartache of your last relationship. It was anger and sadness all wrapped up into an intense shine he recognized all too well. 

“But we are going to do these the smart way.” You continued and met his eyes as you pulled up to idle at a red light. There was… something there beneath the empathy, something hovering at the edges of your expression that he just couldn’t place. “Because you are my best friend and I love you and your daughter way too much to let you destroy yourself.” 

Heat flushed up his neck at the candidness of your words. Oh, god, he could not let that tiny, hopeful part of his brain latch onto that at run with it. No, it would reignite too many old feelings and needs to let himself hope. Of course you loved him and his child - you were his best friend after all. There was no point in letting himself even consider it beyond that. Not when he could destroy everything good he had left in his life. 

Frankie just nodded, trusting in whatever you had in mind. Less than five minutes later, you pulled into the town’s recreational fields and it clicked in his brain. The batting cages. He smiled slightly despite his inner turmoil. This was exactly where he had taken you when you finally got over the shock of your ex-boyfriend’s betrayal and stepped right into an unfathomable rage. 

He let you put the ridiculous helmet on his head and gratefully took the aluminum baseball bat from your hands once you got to the small fenced area where he could finally let out his anger. The quarters clinked as you slid them into the slot and you smiled at him from behind the fence. 

“You might feel stupid at first, but it helps.” You called out over the whirring of the pitching machine powering up and Frankie laughed. He had told you the exact same thing, verbatim when you had complained that the whole idea was ridiculous. 

The harsh crack of the bat meeting that first baseball was like taking a sledgehammer to the wall he had built around his anger. The next one had him grunting into the effort he put behind the swing of the bat, letting every bit of his rage and resentment sing in his veins and bleed into the impact against the ball. Each swing had him building up, had tension racking his back and shoulders only to be released with the ringing sound of aluminum and revived the moment his arms fell to his sides. 

“I just...I can’t fucking comprehend it! First, she was so excited. Went on and on about having the whole thing. ” He called out through each swing, knowing you were there behind him, hanging off of the fence to watch and listen. “The house and the kids and the - the fucking white picket fence life. All of it! And then she wanted all of that, but not with me. No, she’d co-parent and find some other man to shack up with because apparently I wasn’t enough for her. Yeah, it hurt and all but at least she was still around! And out of nowhere, she just fucking left! It’s bullshit!” 

The aluminum echoed harshly where Frankie threw it to the ground, his hands ripping his hat off to muse his hair roughly before settling back on his head. Every ball hit was like a point knocked off of his frustration. It wasn’t exactly fun, but it felt good. 

“Another round?” You asked and Frankie turned to see you with more quarters poised and ready to send more baseballs flying at his head. He nodded, more grateful for you than ever in that moment. 

“But at the same time, I am so glad she left when she did. It’s so conflicting because I’m pissed that she put us through that but at least it’s over!” Frankie continued, the pressure finally easing in his chest as he said the things that were building in his mind the last two months. “She jerked me around for so fucking long. At least I don’t have to worry that she’ll change her mind again. At least I can… move on, move forward in my life.” 

He didn’t even have to ask you for another round when the last ball had been pitched. This time, he said nothing. Neither did you. Frankie just needed to vent, to be heard. He didn’t need advice or pity or words of encouragement. Well, the encouragement he would need later. The rest would just make him even more angry. Every crack of the bat meeting a ball had the anger receding and exhaustion creeping up to take its place. There was a special kind of relief in the absence of anger - it didn’t exactly feel good, but it wasn’t bad either. Almost numbing. 

The bat clattered to the ground after the last ball was sent rocketing into the netting. Frankie was done, for now at least. It would come creeping back in, he knew, but he also knew he could handle it. He felt like he could handle anything with you by his side, with your support and… and your love. It was nice to be taken care of for once. You took the bat back to the office as he plopped himself down at a picnic table and a few moments later, a cool water bottle, dripping with condensation was pressed against the back of his neck. It was soothing against his skin, overheated by the harsh sun. 

The two of you sat together at that table for nearly an hour, not having to speak to convey how either of you felt in that moment. Frankie was beyond grateful, and he could tell you were happy he was feeling better just by the way you rubbed a hand between his shoulder blades. He almost lamented at the loss of your touch when you pulled that hand away, only to have you settle it on his just like you did back in the kitchen. 

You were always there, always managed to make him feel better. Even when his life was crumbling around him, there was solace to be found in you. In your words, your touch. You never made him feel ashamed when he exposed his sadness or his anger, never made him feel less than. It was impossible for that small flame not to flicker back to life deep in his heart. The spark of hope for the future, especially if you were in it. 

“Thank you.” Frankie choked out, unable to express himself any more than that. It didn’t matter, he knew that. You knew how much this little foray into stress relief helped him. 

“Always, Frankie.”

Later that night when all was quiet in his home, when the Miller brothers and Pope had left and Isabella was safely asleep in her crib, Frankie was still exhausted. The boys had come over instead of dragging him out to a restaurant and it was a blast, as always, but he couldn’t help the heavy way his shoulders were set for the rest of the day. He just wanted to sleep. 

The last thing he expected was the tears. An overwhelming feeling of being entirely unwanted washed over him and he was too damn tired to fight it off, so he sat himself on the edge of the bed and cried. No matter how logical he was with himself, no matter how much he reminded himself that he was well loved despite Eliza, the feeling just would not shake. 

Embarrassment layered on top of the sadness when you popped your head into his bedroom, hair still wet from the shower you just took. Frankie wiped the tears away with rough fingers as he turned away from you, giving an entirely fake laugh in a vain attempt to brush it off. He should’ve known better. You padded right up to him and gently cupped his cheek to guide him to look back up at you, and the understanding smile you gave him paired to the gentle brush of your thumb under his eye to wipe a stray tear away had his chin trembling against his will. 

“C’mon,” You whispered. Frankie watched you clamber onto his bed through tear-blurred eyes and settle against his pillows, your arms open in an invitation for comfort that he took without a second thought. Frankie laid his head on your chest, wrapped one arm around your waist, and closed his eyes before he could talk himself out of it. This was dangerous ground, letting himself take comfort in you this way. You brushed your hand through his hair, sighing softly as you relaxed. “We’ve got this. You know that, right?”

“Yeah.” Frankie’s voice was slurred slightly with his sleepiness, the craziness of the day finally pulling him under. “Yeah, we do.” 

---------------------

At eight months old, Isabella was growing into a vibrant, happy little girl and you couldn’t be more proud. You hadn’t expected to play such a large role in her life, but now you couldn’t imagine doing anything else. According to her pediatrician, little Bella was as healthy as a horse and blossoming. ‘A textbook case of healthy development’ was what she had said at the last checkup, leaving you and Frankie to grin at each other. The first appointment after Eliza left was nerve racking with Frankie bouncing anxiously the entire time until Dr.Weston gave them the exact same response - Frankie’s daughter was right on track. 

The relief on his face had broken your heart. How could that man ever think he wasn’t doing right by his little girl? You saw him with her every single day. You saw the way he babbled along with her while spooning baby food into her mouth. You watched him lie on his belly with her in the living room during tummy-time, trying to help her strengthen her neck. You woke up to him stripping the blankets off of the bed when she couldn’t fall asleep anywhere but his arms and wanted her in bed with you both. If there was anyone who could attest that Francisco Morales was an amazing father, it was you. 

And you made sure to tell him that, as often as you could. It made the most delicious flush creep up his neck and paired with that bashful smile he tried to hide by pulling the brim of his hat further down, you could barely keep yourself from kissing him. Guilt ate you alive every single time you had those urges. Frankie was thriving after such an awful ordeal, and there you were, lusting after him like some over-excitable teenager. 

It was impossible not to feel so... domestic in your current set up. You slept at Frankie’s so often that your own home felt almost foreign when you would show up for more clothes or to grab something for work. You worked from his kitchen table or couch, tapping away at your laptop as Isabella slept or played on her playmat in front of you. The instinct to refer to Frankie’s house as ‘home’ and the way you saw the three of you as a little family was new and something you had to nip in the bud right away. 

That type of thinking would inevitably end in heartbreak when Frankie sent you on your way once he didn’t need as much help with Isabella. At least you knew it wouldn’t be anytime soon and could enjoy it while it lasted, especially since the home was currently plagued with a two word nightmare neither of you expected. 

Sleep. Regression. 

You sat in the glider with Isabella slumped against your chest, her cute little face pressed against your sternum as you rocked sleepily. Her eyelids fluttered every now and then, but there was yet to be a moment you could settle her into her bed. Frankie had tried before you, but even daddy’s arms weren’t good enough for the fussy baby. He was rooting around downstairs, searching for a little stuffed hippo that sometimes helped her calm down, but at that point, you were willing to just sleep right there in her nursery. 

The door cracked open slowly and you peeked one eye open to see Frankie shake his head slightly as he walked in. You held back a sigh. That damned stuffed hippo was going to be the death of all three of you, apparently. Frankie made an urgent noise and your eyes flew open, your eyebrows pinching together in confusion. With a baby constantly on the verge of either falling asleep or waking up, the two of you learned to communicate without words, instead using pointed looks and hand gestures to get a point across. 

Frankie gave a pointed look Isabella and you tilted your head down to get a good look at her, and good god you could barely believe your luck. A very long, drawn out transfer from your chest to her crib later, and you and Frankie were creeping out of the nursery, careful to avoid the creaky sections of the hallway. The second the door was closed, you held up a hand for a quiet high five with the goofiest grin on your face, and Frankie obliged with a chuckle. 

You practically threw yourself onto the bed you were starting to consider your own, yet another dangerous road, you knew that much. The stubbornness both you and Frankie held strong to had neither of you willing to let the other take the couch, insisting that ‘no, you need good sleep.’ and ‘well, you do, too!’. Each night you spent curled up next to him and waking up a hairsbreadth from each other had you positively yearning. 

It was nearly three in the morning and both of you had work in a few hours. The idea filled you with dread, and that was how you found yourself whispering to Frankie that you were calling out because ‘exhaustion is the best reason to use a sick day’. He cracked up at your antics as he crawled in next to you, but the look he gave you once he was settled in… it made your heart flutter in your chest. It was an exhausted, relieved, and grateful expression all rolled into one and in that moment, you felt like you could look at him forever.

You didn’t get the chance to. Frankie slid his arm under your shoulders and pulled you against him. It was too familiar of an embrace for you to shy away, even though you knew you should. You should’ve stayed on your side of the bed with plenty of space between you if you wanted to avoid heartbreak, but instead, you snuggled close to him and set your head right on his chest. You could let yourself indulge in the fantasy that he was yours for just a bit longer, especially if it meant getting this unforgettable experience of curling up with the man you adored. 

The steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulled you closer to the abyss of sleep, until his chest rumbled as he spoke, making you blink up at him. 

“Thank you, cariño.” Frankie settled his hand against your head, playing gently with your hair. 

“Always, Frankie.” You whispered back, a smile on your face even as you slipped into the most peaceful rest you had in years. 

-----------------------

The house was full of people. For the first time in months, Frankie threw a cookout. It was something you had missed dearly, inviting everyone over for food and beers and a bonfire if the mood was right. Isabella was beyond happy to see everyone she loved all at once, the nine month old squealing with delight at each person who scooped her up from her bouncer. You watched carefully, always ready to swoop in if needed while Frankie ran in and out of the house between the kitchen, grill, and living room. 

You had been worried it might be too much for him, the pressure of so much socializing after such a hard time, but he was all grins and twinkling eyes as he ran about. It warmed your heart to see that happiness radiating off of him. God, had you missed it. Things were finally looking up and it felt as if you had let go of a breath that was held in for far too long. 

Almost everyone was out in the backyard, soaking up the last of summer before fall got her chilly grip on the world, with you and a few others inside chatting. Isabella had just woken up and boy was she ready to go. Those chubby little legs flailed as you wrestled her into a clean diaper and back into her pretty pink dress. You leaned back with a small laugh once she was finally dressed, letting her have the free reign to roll over onto her belly. 

You glanced up at Will where he sat on the couch a few feet away taking a break from all the chitchat, and he grinned at you, muttering something about her being just like her father. You couldn’t agree more. You went to pick her up and carry her outside where she could get some sun and squeal at more guests, but your hand met the carpet instead. Isabella grinned at you less than a foot away, propped up on all fours as she scrambled away so quickly you worried she would get rug burn before you realized - holy shit, she’s crawling. 

“Go get Frankie!” You said to Will, who was staring at Isabella with a proud grin. He jumped to his feet, ever the good soldier taking commands, and you scooped the giggling little girl into your arms. “Look at you go! Oh, I’m so proud of you, sweet girl!”

A frazzled Frankie skidded around the corner out of nowhere, half of the crowd piling in behind him in worry, and internally you cursed Will for not informing him that nothing was wrong. Before Frankie could even ask, you motioned for him to sit down a few feet from you and he listened despite the deeply confused look he wore. 

“Are you gonna show daddy your new trick, Bella? Huh? Go on,” You cooed as you set her back down on her hands and knees, and she took off like a bat outta hell, scrambling for her father, who watched with wide eyes. Frankie broke off into a loud laugh and picked her up to cradle her against his chest, his eyes bright with unshed, happy tears as the crowd of friends and family let out whoops and claps. 

“Oh my god!” Frankie laughed wetly, shuffling forward on his knees to pull you in for a hug with his little girl in between you. Your cheeks hurt with the huge smile you wore as you wrapped your arms around him. The way he looked at you tore through your chest with the most pleasurable kind of pain and the urge to kiss him would have been undeniable if not for the friends that surrounded you. So you cleared your throat and leaned back, pushing his bicep gently.

“You better get back to that grill before everyone in here starves to death.” You tease and leave it at that, gathering Isabella in your arms to take her outside. What you didn’t see was Pope grabbing Frankie and dragging him up the stairs before he could make it outside along with you. You flounced about the backyard, the hem of your sundress fluttering at your knees as you let everyone get a chance to coo at the happy girl in your arms. 

Everyone was so happy, all smiles and laughs as they caught up with each other about the various going-ons of their lives, and you wanted to capture it so you could look back on the happy memories. 

“Hey, I left my phone upstairs. Do you mind if I leave her with you? I should be right back.” You asked Pope’s girlfriend, Jessa, who eagerly accepted the baby time. 

You climbed the stairs easily, humming some silly tune as you pushed open Frankie’s door. With your phone fully charged, you popped it off of the charger and sat on the edge of the bed to check your notifications. There were few messages here and there, mostly from people letting you know they were on their way a few hours ago, so you were content to make your way back outside with the sound of voices caught your attention. It was a low, metallic sounding conversation, but the TV was off, leaving only…

On the screen of the baby monitor were Frankie and Pope, both of them standing with their arms crossed tightly over their chests. If you didn’t know better you would have been worried they were about to fight with the way they glared at each other, but whatever it was wasn’t any of your business. You were going to leave but the sound of your name made you pause. Eavesdropping is wrong, you reminded yourself, even if you were painfully curious, and you made for the door once more until you heard Pope said, “You have to tell her, Fish!” and you froze entirely. 

“That woman loves you! She loves your little girl. You’re going to lose out on a good thing if you keep going like this, man!” Pope hissed and for a second, all you could hear was your own heartbeat. He couldn’t mean what you hoped he meant… right?

“I can’t! Isabella is already down one parent, and that… that amazing woman stepped in and saved us both. What kind of a father would I be if I risked my daughter losing a good woman? And for what? Because I'm in love? Absolutely not.” Frankie said in a tone you had never heard from him before. It was harsh, ringing with finality, and it absolutely tore your heart in two. 

But the halves of your heart were made whole by the single sentence, ‘Because I’m in love’. Frankie loved you. He said it. You heard it with your own two ears and suddenly those fears of yours felt absolutely ridiculous. That man and his daughter was your family, no two ways about it. And you couldn’t let him go on thinking that you didn’t love your little family more than anything in the world.

So you snuck back downstairs, your heart flying in your chest as you rejoined the little party and tried to act as normally as possible. In reality, you were paying more attention to the back door than anyone who tried to talk to you, giving little ‘mhmm’s instead of answering the questions anyone asked you. 

Yeah, you could be entirely oblivious sometimes. 

The second Pope and Frankie emerged from the back door you were on the move, excusing yourself from the conversation you hadn’t really been a part of anyway. The confused look Frankie gave you when you asked to talk to him inside was being adorable, his eyebrows scrunched together and head tilted to the side just slightly. He followed you in nonetheless, leaning against the kitchen counter as he popped open a sweating beer. Before he can even ask what’s going on, you step into his space and put your hands on his chest gently, watching as his confusion melts into surprise. 

“You are never going to lose me.” You whisper. “Neither of you.”

A blush bloomed up his neck and over his cheeks. “You...you heard that?”

“Didn’t mean to, scouts honor.” You smiled at him, trying to imbue him with the ease and absolute happiness you felt. “The baby monitor was on.” 

“Oh.” 

You can’t help but chuckle at the simple response and press up on your tiptoes, your hands sliding up to drape over his shoulders so you could play with the curls at the nape of his neck. The breathy sound that escaped Frankie’s chest had your need mounting, desperate to feel his lips on yours, and you lean forward to brush your nose along his. “Say it, Frankie.” 

“I love you.” He said it immediately, whispered it into you with a grin so bright it lit up the room with his happiness. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.” You barely get it out before he leans forward to kiss you, soft and desperate and happy, all at once. Frankie’s hands fell to your hips and pulled your body flush against his, and it made you to grin against his lips. 

You were giddy. That was the only way to describe the excitement that left you almost vibrating with energy as you melted against Frankie’s chest. His lips were sweet, touched by the strawberries and grapes he snacked on as he grilled. 

“You love me, huh?” He muttered and pressed his forehead to yours, eyes closed with a goofy smile that made your heart lurch in your chest. 

“Always, Frankie.”

[starrynite7114]

Misconstrued: Part 1

A/N: HELLO EVERYONE! First of all, I would like to thank you for the response you gave the preview I posted last night. Hopefully this will do it justice. Thank you so much again for all the support you have given me! Kind of went overboard and it was much longer than I expected. Enjoy this new multi-part series!

Anon:  I don't know if this is too specific but could you do something about Angel ruining a date and later admits it because he loves them and then they have some angry smut and late night fluff

Word Count: 6708

Masterlist Tag List: @iambabyharry​ : @justahopelessssromantic​ : @carlaangel86​ : @marvelmaree​ : @mrsamaroevans​ : @ifoundmyhappythought​: @woahitslucyylu​ : @cind-in-real-life​ : @briannab1234​ : @fairygardenss

If you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

Your Tio Obispo was so lucky you love him. There was no bone in your body that wanted to go to a clubhouse party. All you wanted to do was stay home and sleep. He was lucky you decided to come even after going home to shower and change. You parked just outside of EZ’s trailer, not wanting to draw attention if you had gone all the way in. 

It was a good night to host a party. The weather was quite good, not cold and not scorching hot. You didn’t wear anything special, just jeans and a shirt. It was a Barbeque, you didn’t need to wear anything crazy.

Walking in with a few other people, you made your way towards the clubhouse, but before you did, you spotted Angel sitting by the bonfire with a club hang around on his lap. For some reason, you’ve never seen him with any of them before and it definitely hit the point home that Angel would never be interested in you. He seemed like the type of guy who couldn't hide his feelings and was straight forward. Only thing he did with you was keep you company while you’re at the clubhouse and text you every now and then. You were certain that the only reason he hung around you was due to your tio’s request.

Pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose, you entered the clubhouse in search of your tio. If you showed your face once, you could hide at EZ’s trailer for an hour or two and then head home. You’re pretty sure he’ll be wasted soon enough. 

“Sweetheart,” you heard your tio call you. He just came out of Templo with Taza following after him.

“Tio, hey.” You wrapped your arms around Bishop once he was close enough to you. 

“Glad you came, I thought you were just going to stay home, knowing how lazy you get.”

“Haha,” you rolled your eyes. Your relationship with your tio always seemed to be more brother-sister like than anything else. Your mother was much older than your tio, when he used to take care of you, he would teach you how to fix cars, change your oil, etc. He was the cool tio, but you still had that boundary and never overstepped it. “I wasn’t going to, but I didn’t want you to send your security after me.”

“It would most likely be Angel.” Bishop knew of Angel’s crush on you, it was hard not to notice. He always volunteered to do things when it came to you. At first he thought Angel took a liking towards you since you were new in town and he felt naive that he even thought that, but it became very apparent why he was always nearby.

“Yes, my own personal bodyguard.” You nodded your head. “Who is enjoying the women today, which works out for me so I don’t have to worry how much I bore him.”

“I don’t think you’re boring.” Bishop frowned. He knew it was difficult for you being an only child and with how overprotective your mother was, he was surprised that you didn’t want to choke her out at times. You yearn for freedom and he was certain it was the primary reason you chose to stay put in Santo Padre.

“Tio, it’s a joke, I know I’m not. But maybe you could rotate some? Angel doesn’t always have to be the one attached to me.” You two walked over to the bar, EZ manning it as always. “Give Angel a break.” EZ placed one of those ciders you liked drinking, mouthing a thank you. 

Bishop was perplexed at your suggestion. He knew why Angel was always around you and he thought you knew as well. Angel was always around you, surely you had to take the hint that he had felt something towards you. 

“What? Angel goes to you on his own accord. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t actually sic any of them on you.” 

“Oh,” you gnawed at your lip, a habit you developed when you were unsure of what to say or do. “I, I just thought you had Angel attached to me.”

“So that I can get an earful from you? No fucking way.” Bishop chuckled. Maybe at the beginning he did have Coco keep an eye on you, but otherwise, it was Angel’s own doing that led him to you.

You smiled as you took a sip of your cider. You didn’t want to drink much since you had to drive home. The cider didn’t have much alcohol content so you weren’t worried.

“Don’t cause trouble, I’ll grab you some meat.” Bishop left you to your own vices. He was very overprotective, but he tried not to be as overbearing as your mother. The last thing he wanted was for you to push him away. 

“Where’s Angel?” EZ questioned you once Bishop walked away.

You shrugged. “Outside? He’s not on babysitting duty for once so he’s with one of the girls.”

EZ knew that Angel most likely didn’t know you were coming. Angel was definitely interested in you, but getting one in every once in a while wouldn’t hurt either. Angel was no angel after all. He had needs, they all did and it’s not like you two were official and from what he could see, it was one-sided, on Angel’s side.

“Aw, you know you’re not so bad either, besides the fact you can be an annoying smart ass.”

“Right back at ya Boy Scout,” you lifted your drink toward him, making EZ laugh.

“Y/N, hey,” you heard someone greet you.

Looking back, you saw Damien, who worked with the club from time to time. You weren’t exactly aware of what the affiliation was, but all you knew was that he was not a member of the club and was running some business.

“Hey, how are you?” You greeted him, turning so you could face him. “I rarely see you at these parties.” 

“I come all the time, you’re always preoccupied by someone else.” Damien teased. “Glad you’re all alone so that I can have some of your attention.”

EZ wanted to gag at that. This guy was a quintessential douchebag. He lured girls in with his charm and usually disposed of them once he had them. The club worked with him before, but as far as EZ knew, they were no longer in business together.

“Attention? You can always come up to me, not like I bite.” You joked. You tried to recall if you ever saw Damien at any of these parties, but you were always with Angel. Hard to look elsewhere when you were with him. “Don’t worry about these guys,” you pointed at EZ. “Completely harmless.”

“Not my brother though,” EZ mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?” You turned to EZ, not quite heating his words.

“Nothing.”

You turned back to Damien. He was a good looking guy. Six foot two, muscular built, with slicked back brunette hair and hazel eyes. He was a definite eye candy. 

“Are you busy next week?” Damien had to leave since he had promised his mother that he would drive down to Chino for some quality time. 

“Um, depends when, I mostly just have work.” You tried to think of your schedule at the top of your head. You worked at the auto repair shop four days a week and the other days, you were at home doing orders for cakes, brownies and other baked goods.

“Saturday?” 

“Should be fine, I get off work at 7, what’s up?”

“Would you like to go to the fair?” 

“What?” You and EZ said in unison. 

You and Damien both looked to EZ confused by his reaction.

EZ wished that Angel was here to stop it, if he even tried to stop it, people would misconstrued things and maybe this would be the fire under his brother’s ass to push him to do something.

“Sorry, Coco was mouthing something to me.” EZ looked across the room at Coco who was thankfully looking at him. He made some gesture at Coco who gave him a confused look. “I’m just gonna go see what he wants.”

You two watched him walk over to Coco, still confused by his reaction. 

Damien knew why he reacted in that way and he should get an answer from you immediately before they reported to Angel. “Anyway, so, you down?”

“Are you asking me out on a date?” You haven’t been on a date with anyone at Santo Padre. Maybe it was a lack of trying on your part, but regardless, the dating scene in Santo Padre was nonexistent. You didn’t want to assume either, but it seemed like he was.

“Yes. If you want to go?” Damien knew if he fucked up, he would be six feet under. Despite the rumors, he was trying to be a decent guy and truly wanted to show you a good time. Just a plus if he scores afterwards. 

“Sure, I’d love to go on a date with you.” You were kind of excited. This was your first date in years, but you kind of wished it was Angel who was asking you. Then again, you weren’t his type, so, why not explore the field?

“Everything good here?”

You thought you were hallucinating his voice, but you weren’t. Right behind Damien was Angel, holding a plate of food that you assumed was yours.

Damien turned around and backed away to the side. He was slightly afraid of Angel after seeing him fight a few times in the ring. He knew Angel was some sort of watchdog for you however, seeing the last few times you two were together, he was almost certain Angel was interested in you.

“I was just talking to Y/N. But I got to go, so I’ll see you both later.” He placed his empty beer on the bar. “See you next week?”

“Yes, see you next week.” You nodded your head, offering him a small smile.

Damien quickly made his exit. Angel’s eyes were trained on you, not paying any mind to Damien. He wasn’t sure why Damien was speaking to you, but it didn’t matter, he was leaving. 

“Querida, why didn’t you tell me you would be coming? I could have picked you up.” As far as Angel knew, you weren’t coming to the party. You texted him that you were swamped at work and all you wanted to do was sleep.

You really hated it when Angel spoke in Spanish, it made the butterflies in your stomach run wild and it was just annoyingly sexy. “I wasn’t, but tio wouldn’t let me say no. Something about not wanting me to be alone.”

‘I could keep you company.’ Angel thought.

“Here, I brought you food.” He placed the plate in front of you. “I marinated the ribs.” He proudly informed you.

“You are pretty good with your meat.” You paused. You two looked at one another and smirked. “That’s what she said.” You and Angel said in unison, laughter erupting from the both of you. “You don’t have to keep me company, I’m going to take my food to EZ’s trailer, kill two hours and then go. At least I showed myself and tio doesn’t have to give me flack for not coming.”

“I’ll stay with you.” Angel was entertaining someone earlier, but as soon as Bishop informed him that you were here, he made his way over to you.

“Don’t be silly, I saw you talking to a girl earlier, just go back to her.” You tried your best to not sound bitter or jealous. You really hated that you weren’t Angel’s type, but it was the story of your life. Bad boys don’t go for the good girls as they believe in movies and television. They befriend them sure, but nothing else. “Get your dick wet.” You wanted to cringe at that one, but you always spoke to Angel with no filters, yet you couldn’t tell him you like him.

“I’m good, I’ll stay here.” He grabbed some fries that were on your plate. “I may have gotten the food for both of us.”

You laughed. “I was hoping so because I don’t think I eat this much.”

“What did pretty boy want?” Angel took the seat beside you. 

“Damien? He asked me out on a date.” You took some fries and ate some as well. You mentioned it so casually that Angel took some time to reply to you. 

“He did what now?” Now he was on his shit list. He had no claim on you, he knew that, but that didn’t mean he was happy about this. To top it off, now it made sense why Damien was always watching you, but he stayed away since Angel was always around. The one time he left you alone, Damien was able to slide in. Where the fuck was EZ? He knew his little brother manned the bar, he should have prevented it. 

“Right? It’s kind of unbelievable, but yeah, I guess we’re going out next Saturday.” You shrugged and ate some of the carne asada on your plate. “It’d be nice since I haven’t been on a date for a while.”

“Wait, why is it unbelievable?” You haven’t been on a date in a while 

“I don’t know, no one has asked me out around here, figured it was cause I was so unattractive.” Self esteem issues were a bitch. It was hard not to think that something was wrong with you when men didn’t ask you out. 

“Mi dulce, you’re the most beautiful girl I know, don’t ever think that.” Angel placed his hand on top of yours.

You felt your cheeks hit up and the butterflies in your stomach just went berserk. 

“You’re such a sweet talker.” You moved your hand and turned to the food so you could start eating. 

Angel loved seeing the blush on your cheek. He liked knowing he had some sort of affect on you, especially since he was fucking in love with you. 

Yep.

Angel Reyes was fucking in love with the president’s niece.

It wasn’t his fault. It really wasn’t.

You barged into his life and there was really nothing he could do. 

He was powerless against you and he honestly didn’t care.

=====================

“This is fucking stupid.” Angel heard EZ complaining at the backseat of the van. He was driving with Gilly at the front passenger seat and Coco behind him.

“No one asked you to come Ezekiel.” 

“Asked me to come? You fucking forced me in the car.” EZ scoffed. “No choice Boy Scout, you do as your sponsor says.” EZ rolled his eyes, mimicking Angel’s words. “What does this have to do with club business?”

“Feel like we wouldn’t be doing this if Angel grew a pair and spoke with his dick like he always did.” Coco shook his head. 

But that’s the thing, Angel couldn’t listen to his dick with you. 

This was different. 

You were Bishop’s niece, he couldn’t exactly go guns ablazing. He stayed away from you cause you were related to Bishop, keeping you at arm's length. But it was so difficult to keep you at arm's length when you were so damn charming. You didn’t even do much. You hooked him with one smile and he was fucking done. He felt like an idiot, like a teenager boy with a crush, but all you had to do was fucking introduce yourself. Bishop brought you by when you first moved two years ago. His sister, your mother, wanted to be close to her baby brother, so she decided to move to Santo Padre. But your mother was only able to stand the heat for so long before she went back to Oakland. You stayed behind, liking the work you found at one of the auto shops down the street from the scrapyard. It was owned by one of Bishop’s friends. Due to the closeness of the shop and scrapyard, you were always around and it was difficult to ignore you. 

“Why haven’t you told her you like her?” Gilly questioned. “It’s not like Bishop doesn’t know.”

“He doesn’t think he’s good enough for her.” EZ answered for him.

“Fuck you Ezekiel.”

“Angel, what makes you so incompatible with her?” EZ hasn’t been around long, but even he could see his brother hung onto every word you said. It was actually quite fun to see. Whenever you were at the clubhouse, Angel stuck to you. No girls, no shooting his shit with his brothers, nothing else caught his attention. Whenever you would talk about the new cookies or cake you baked, Angel listened. Whenever you animatedly talked to him about the new car you fixed the last few days, he listened. He didn’t give a fuck about the baked goods or the cars, all he cared about was listening to you. It was cute. You were the good girl that the bad boy wanted, EZ had to say you weren’t Angel’s type, but you had his older brother hooked. “She isn’t your usual type, but I figured you dabbled in every pool.” He knew his brother felt more for you than any other women around. But he could never pass up a chance to tease Angel. 

“My type, the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Angel looked at his brother through the rearview mirror.

“She technically is his type, she has a pussy.” Gilly joined in with teasing Angel. 

“Don’t talk about our hermana like that.” Coco scowled at Gilly. “Y/N is special, she’s a good girl, untainted. Angel doesn’t do good girls cause they want commitments, something he can’t offer.” 

“I’m fully capable of holding a relationship assholes. I was with Gabriella for like,” he paused, knowing his argument was not going to hold. “Fuck, how long was I with her?”

Gilly and Coco laughed loudly while EZ chuckled, shaking his head. 

“You see? Come on Angel, if you’re not serious about her, let’s just turn around.” EZ was trying to use reverse psychology on his brother. He knew Angel hated it when people doubted him, counted him out. Maybe if they pushed his buttons a bit, he would get with the damn program. 

“We’re not going for her, I don’t even know where she is.” Angel scoffed. He was lying, but these fuckers didn’t need to know that. “You fuckers don’t want a night of fun at the fair?”

“At the same fucking fair that Y/N is going to?” Gilly was amused. It was fun to see Angel head over heels over a woman. 

“Oh, that’s the one she’s going to?” Angel smirked. He was a bastard, he knew, but he got the details of your date from EZ. He should have pulled his head out of his ass long ago, but Damien was a punk. He portrayed himself to be a good guy, but he was a perverted douchebag.

“I feel like you could have saved us the trouble.” EZ scoffed. “Angel, what’s your game plan? What are you going to do? Just listen to her like you always do and not say you like her?”

“When we get out of this car, I’m beating your ass.” Angel threatened. 

Coco, Gilly and EZ laughed. If they were being honest, they tagged along to see what the fuck their brother was going to do. It was like uncharted territory for Angel. He went for easy girls who fell at his feet, they were easy, noncommittal, easy to leave. But you, that’s not how it worked, which made him out of his element. He’s had relationships before, but this was different. You two weren’t even together but he saw your future together. It was the reason he avoided you. Seeing a future with someone was daunting on anyone but for Angel? The guy who didn’t think he would ever find someone? It was something else.

When EZ came home, he thought you would drift to EZ, you like books as much as he did, fuck you two had a hell of a lot more in common than you and Angel. But instead you two bantered like siblings and it was an actual amusing site to see.

“I don’t even know why you like her, she’s obnoxious.” EZ didn’t actually mean that, but you were the sister he never fucking wanted. He couldn’t even imagine how Angel fell for you, you definitely were not his fucking type. But his brother could have changed in the last eight years, like becoming an actual mature adult, he has still yet to see that. 

“Watch what you say about Angel’s girlfriend.” Gilly looked back at EZ. “Oh wait, she’s on a date.” The three men laughed with the exception of Angel.

“Funny shit, fuck you three.” Angel grumbled. 

Angel was relieved that they got to the fair and parked the car just so he didn’t have to be in the car with these assholes. 

Getting out of the car, Angel smoothed out his kute and made his way towards the entrance of the fair with his usual three partners right behind him.

He wasn’t going to ruin your date, but he had to make sure that Damien kept his hands to himself. 

=====================

You giggled as your date, Damien finished telling you a story about his silly dog. You were so happy this date was going well, especially since you haven’t been to one in years. You decided to wear your contacts today in case you and Damien decided to ride some of the rides. 

“You should meet him some time.” Damien commented as you two walked side by side.

Your hands were in your jean pockets and Damien has been trying to hold your hands, but you just kept it in there or if it was in there, your arms were crossed. He also wanted to make sure you were comfortable before he did anything. He knew that if even a hair on you was harmed, the MC would come looking for him. 

“Your dog? Yeah, that would be great. I love dogs.” You always wanted a dog, but your mother was not the biggest fan. You’ve been thinking about getting a dog, but you just haven’t found the right one as of yet. 

“German shepherds are very intuitive and they’re great dogs.”

“They definitely are.” You nodded your head. “So, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.” You two were waiting in line to get some funnel cake, thankful that not that many people were here so you can get to the sweet treat faster. 

“Why did you ask me out on a date? Don’t get me wrong, we’ve met, but you haven’t exactly spoken to me.” It was always a short pleasant conversation between you and Damien. A quick hello, goodbye, how are you’s and he was on his way. It’s not like you thought you were some horrendous looking person, but it just made you wonder why it took him so long to ask you out.

“I’ve always wanted to, but your uncle can be quite intimidating and Angel basically put out word that you’re untouchable.” It was true. He was warned off by Creeper that you were off-limits. At first he thought it was Bishop, but it became more apparent it was Angel. Any man who approached you during club parties was immediately turned away by Angel. At first he wasn’t certain if Angel was acting on Bishop’s orders, but when he noticed that Angel, who usually was surrounded by women, didn’t pay attention to any other woman but you, he knew then that it was Angel’s own doing. He asked himself why he asked you out knowing Angel would hunt for his blood, but as he saw it, you were single and were free to do as you please. 

“Angel?” Your heart quickened a bit and for some strange reason, you heard his voice as well.

“Querida,” it was Angel’s favorite term of endearment for you. At first you thought he called everyone that, but it seemed that it was reserved for you as of late. You knew it was his way of being charming, but you couldn’t help it when your heartbeat quickened cause of it.

You turned around and found Angel and his usual suspects with him. His eyes roamed over your body and you couldn’t help, but blush. Angel’s eyes were always so intense, yet warm. He noticed your glasses weren’t on and he thought how much better he liked the glasses on you. 

“Angel,” you said in some sort of disbelief. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We came to enjoy the fair, surprised to see you here.” He looked over you and at Damien, narrowing his eyes. It was his warning to him. He may have passed by him once, but it wasn’t going to happen tonight. “Damien.”

“Angel.” 

The greetings were curt and you could feel the tension rise. You were still confused at Angel’s presence, but it showed you one thing, the butterflies didn’t come till Angel came. Your mother always told you that when the butterflies in your stomach fluttered, whoever did it for you was someone you would be someone special. Your mom was a die hard romantic person. You weren’t exactly all that romantic, but you definitely didn’t believe in fairy tales.��

“Y/N, you wanna go get some ribs? I just realized we haven’t eaten.” Damien had to get you away before Angel could sink his claws and interrupt your date. 

“Sure.” You looked at the three troublemakers behind Angel, giving them a questioning look and the three stooges fucking shrugged at you.

Damien attempted to lead you away, but Angel grabbed your arm.

“We’re all here together, we might as well stay together. Right querida?”  

You opened your mouth, but nothing was coming out. You were enjoying your date, but seeing Angel changed the atmosphere. You couldn’t play this game. Damien was genuinely interested in you and you wanted to give him a chance. You weren’t even sure where you stood with Angel, it doesn’t matter anyway.

“No, it’s okay, Damien and I are going to get ribs. Enjoy your night guys.” You gave each of the Mayans members a hug and when you got to Angel, you tried to make it brief. You hated hugging Angel, he was always so intoxicating. If you lost yourself in that hug it was a done deal.

Grabbing Damien’s hand, you dragged him away from the group. You were going to continue and have fun, fuck Angel Reyes.

“Wow, that went well.” EZ commented. He couldn’t help it, it was rare he could pull Angel’s leg like this.

“Ezekiel, not fucking right now.” Angel watched you walk away, with Damien turning back to throw him a grin. “Motherfucker has me fucked up.” He took out a cigarette and lit it up. 

“So what’s the game plan?” Gilly questioned.

“We enjoy the fair.”

Somehow, they knew that wasn’t exactly what was going to happen. 

You were starting to get irritated. At every corner you turned, the Mayans were there. You were certain that your tio didn’t send them since he already threatened Damien at your apartment. But you never know, he may have had a sudden change of heart. You just wished it wasn’t four fucking members. That was like half of their charter.  

“Is it me or are Angel and the other members following us?” Damien turned back and sure enough, there they were just hanging around. 

Angel was leaning against one of the poles that was holding a game together, smoking his cigarette just looking at you. He winked at you and you scowled at him. You would like to think Angel was a friend, why was he here?

“Don’t pay them any attention.” You brushed them off.

“Why won’t I win you a prize, get you a memorabilia of this fun night we had?” Damien offered.

You laughed, nodding your head. “That sounds like a plan to me.”

Damien led you to a knock the bottle game. He knew he had this, he was a star baseball player back in the day, if it wasn’t for an injury, he would have been big time now. He had this. After four tries, Damien won you a small bear, which was very sweet. You appreciated the effort.

“Here you go beautiful.” Damien handed your bear to your

“Such a small prize for such a beautiful girl.” Angel whistled, sitting beside where you stood, shaking his head. “I can win you a bigger one preciosa.”

“I’m good Angel, you know it’s not always about the size.” You smirked at him, even throwing a wink.

“Perhaps, but for the record, mine is pretty thick and long.” He licked his lips and you swear to god, you wanted to smack that annoying smirk off his face. “Come on, let me win you one. I always told you that if we go to the fair, I would try to win you a prize.” Angel was talking to you as if Damien wasn’t a few feet away. And your attention was on Angel, as much as you hated to admit it. But this was a conversation you had before, he told you that if you two ever went to the fair, he would win you a prize. You two had spoken about how you thought it was sweet when guys won girls prizes, it was very sweet. 

“Fine, you get one shot.” You don’t know why you gave Angel the okay, but you figured if Angel didn’t get any hits, it would bruise his ego and he would leave you alone so you could enjoy whatever was left of your date. 

Angel took some money out of his pocket and gave it to the worker. Angel got three balls to get the bottles that were stacked together. 

“Which one do you like, baby girl?” Angel questioned. 

“Surprise me.” You looked over at EZ, Coco and Gilly who were far too amused by this whole situation. “Are you three going to try too?”

“No, this is all Angel hermana.” Coco took a bite out of his churro, enjoying this whole situation. He always advised Angel to just bite the bullet, but as always, Angel was as stubborn as they come. “Just watch your man win you something.”

You bit your tongue, not correcting Coco. You pretended you didn’t hear him.

“Wanna give me a kiss so I can have some good luck?” Angel playfully teased you, offering his cheek to you.

“Just throw the ball Reyes.” Damien finally spoke up. 

You turned to him and gave him a sheepish smile. “This will be done soon, he won’t hit anything.” 

Angel smirked at your words. He threw the ball and all the bottles were knocked out. Damien’s mouth slightly dropped along with yours. Coco, Gilly and EZ all cheered him on, yelling out their congratulations.

“I know them down two more times and she gets the big one?” Angel questioned the teenager that was working the booth.

He nodded his head. 

And Angel did it. One throw for all of them. He smugly looked over at you and held his arm out towards the booth.

“Whatever you want mi dulce.”

You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, but you were quite impressed. “I told you, surprise me.”

Angel chuckled and nodded his head. He wasn’t sure what you were trying to play at, but he knew you, after taking a random trip to the San Diego Zoo, he knew every fucking animal you liked. “Let me get the giraffe.” He handed it over to you, the giraffe had a long neck and was surprisingly soft. You couldn’t help but blush and look down at your feet. It was a habit you had, it was hard for you to look at the person you like in the eye. “You want more?”

“No, she’s good.” Damien had enough of Angel showing him up. This was his date, he wasn’t going to let Angel ruin it. “You want to go to the ferris wheel before we leave?” 

“Sure,” you nodded your head. “Thanks Angel, have fun with whatever else you guys do.” You couldn’t exactly tell Angel that you really appreciated the gesture, especially since he remembered your favorite animal was a giraffe.

As you walked away, you tried your hardest to not turn around and look at Angel. You would have just ran back, besides, Angel was just being nice. He was always nice to you, very sweet as well. But you didn’t want to assume that he had feelings for you. A similar situation occurred to you a few years back and the guy was just being nice to you due to your connection to the Mayans charter in Oakland. It stung, but you promised yourself then that you would not assume things and always wait for confirmation from the person’s mouth. No telephone game, people misconstrued things and that’s what led you to believe that the guy had feelings for you. 

“I’m really sorry, I don’t know why Tio Bishop sent them here.” You apologized to Damien as you two made your way to the Ferris wheel. 

“It’s okay, they’re like the older brothers you’ve never had.” It was true. You had mentioned it to him that the Mayans felt like and extended family to you. A bunch of misfits that you never would have thought would become your family but they did. The charters up north always took care of you and your mother, checking on you weekly to make sure you ladies were taken care of. Damien was trying to be understanding of the situation, but he knew what Angel was trying to do. And he couldn’t let him win. 

“Yeah, they are.” With the exception of Angel, cause that would be odd.

They were close to the Ferris wheel, Damien figured he could make his move on you then, no Angel to distract you. There was no line so you and Damien were slated to go next, but you weren’t exactly sure how it happened. The next thing you knew, you and Angel were in one of the capsules making its way up. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Damien growled out at the Mayan members. 

“You know she’s Angel’s girl, you knew this was going to happen.” Gilly wasn’t exactly sure what Damien expected out of this whole situation, but everyone who hung out at the club knew that you were off-limits. If being Bishop’s niece didn’t drive them away, it was Angel’s closeness to you that should have. 

“They’re not together. He doesn’t even know if she feels anything for him.” Damien didn’t want to push his luck, but he was also getting annoyed. He wasn’t going to let them push him around.

“Doesn’t matter, you fucked up.” Coco scoffed.

“It’s interesting how much shit you’re spewing out when Angel isn’t around.” EZ smugly pointed out. 

“Angel can go fuck himself. I’m sorry he didn’t have the balls to ask her out on a date, but tough shit. He’s not the only one interested in her.” 

“What are you trying to gain from this? You think you're gonna bed her like your other girls?” Coco was curious as to why Damien decided to ask you out. He’s seen him lurking around, but he never tried to make a move since again, you were always with Angel, Gilly or himself. It was hard to penetrate that wall. 

“That’s none of your business.” Damien venomously spat out at them, looking at the ferris wheel. 

“Don’t make it our business, be smart about this then.” EZ warned. 

You looked at Damien who was being held by Coco and Gilly while EZ waved to you and Angel.

“This is absolutely ridiculous.” You scolded Angel. “I’m on a date! I don’t know what my lovely tio told you, but please leave so I can enjoy what’s left of it.”

“Come on amor, you know you’re not enjoying yourself.” Angel scoffed. 

“I was, till you and your three stooges came.” You slightly turned your body away from Angel, crossing your arms and looking out the windows in the Ferris wheel capsule.

“You were really having fun with Damien?” Angel knew you weren’t very happy with him, but he didn’t give a fuck. He was saving you from this asshole.

“Yes, I mean he’s a decent guy Angel, it’s a date not a marriage.” You refused to look at him. You kept getting mixed signals from Angel and you weren’t exactly brave enough to ask him questions about it. 

“Look, I think I should be honest with you here.” Here it was. Angel was going to tell you that he was just messing around and that he was just following orders. No biggie. You weren’t going to be affected at all since you expected it. “I like you.”

“And I like you too when you’re not being a prick.”

“No, I like you, as in I have feelings for you. Seeing you with Damien is driving me crazy so I followed you here to make sure nothing happens between you two.”

It was silent for a few moments between you two which made Angel nervous. This wasn’t the first time he confessed to a woman, but this felt different. The air was heavier if that made any sense. 

“Angel, this is going above and beyond my tio’s orders.” You spoke up, happy that the ride was making its descent. 

He gave you an incredulous look, eyes wide and confused. “Orders? You fucking think I developed feelings for you through an order? The fuck do you think this is? Is it so unbelievable for me to have feelings for you?”

“No, it’s just, why would you like me? I’m not your type.” That was such a weak excuse but from what you gathered you weren’t his type.

“My type? How would you even know my type?”

“Observations? I don’t know.” Your knee began to shake, an indication that you were becoming anxious, something Angel picked up with all the time he spent with you.

“You have nothing to be nervous about.”

You felt the walls closing in around you. Escaping this option was not an option right now since you were still at least six feet above ground. 

“I’m not nervous, I,” you sighed. “This shouldn’t be hard, but I always thought you hung around me cause tio requested for you to do so.”

“Believe me, your tio requested for Coco and Gilly to do it, I was drawn to you because of you.”

“Did Coco tell you about my crush on you? Because I feel like there’s a way to let me down without leading me on.”

Crush? You had a crush on him?

“Querida, what are you talking about?”

“Stop, don’t call me that. The pet names make this all that much more confusing.” 

“What? Y/N, I’m not leading you on.”

The door opened and you immediately got out with Angel hot on your trail. “Damien can you take me home?”

“No, she’s good, I’ll take her home.” Angel stepped in between you two.

You glared at the back of Angel’s head which was seen by EZ, Coco and Gilly.

“I would really like to end my date at my house Angel, thank you for the offer.” You stepped away from Angel and walked over to Damien, grabbing his hand and making your way towards the exit. 

Angel watched your disappearing form and let out a yell of frustration.

“She’s fucking insane!” He yelled out.

The three tried to keep their laughter in, but it was just so difficult for them. 

“I’m glad you are all having fun at my expense.” Angel walked away from the three, grumbling under his breath.

“How was the ride?” Coco questioned.

“I told her I had feelings for her and she told me that I was going above and beyond my orders. The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Angel took out his sixth cigarette in the span of two hours. 

“You’re smart bro, you know what she’s insinuating.” Gilly patted his brother on the back. “Maybe it’s time to take a different approach.”

“Again, if you just ask her out on a fucking date, this wouldn’t be so difficult.” EZ really didn’t know why his brother has been playing this game for years. It was like he was so afraid to be rejected. If he didn’t play confidant and immediately asked you out, then you two would be together and they wouldn’t be playing this game for Angel. 

“Like what?” Angel questioned Gilly, ignoring EZ. 

“You should play hard to get.”

[softluci]

omg, hey, how r u, hi, so nice to see u; welcome to my 3AM (now 6AM bc miss hellsite deleted everything) ramblings (which i will try to make as close to the original as possible); this one’s gonna be a Doozy

now that ap testing is over and i have more time to care about literally everything else, i realize that i . i am So Bad at taking care of myself. like, so bad. and i actually realized this months ago but i didn't have this account months ago and i didn't think of this months ago so—

((i was debating whether or not to limit this to gen z but i know it isn't just us who do this; or maybe that’s wishful thinking and it Is just us, but idk, man,, i feel like millennials be doing this too))

sometimes, a lot of the time i just . don't eat . and i don't have a bad or difficult relationship to food or an eating disorder or anything like that, i just Don't Do It because i either legitimately forgot or i didn't feel hungry even if i hadn't eaten for a significant period of time (6-18hrs, we'll say, because i do lose track). like,, when quarantine started, i was in my room, door Locked, for 15 to 19 hours a day + i wouldn't leave unless i had to use the bathroom or shower. i only started eating and leaving my room more because my mom had to ask me to. oh, and this should be obvious, but i don't sit and eat dinner with my family either.

additionally, and this is Much More Frequent, i don't sleep. i know i don't sleep because i slept for nine hours today and woke up dazed and confused. when we had school, i would either sleep for 1-6 hours or just not at all. and then i'd go to school and not pack anything to eat :p. i actually think the longest i've gone without sleep is a full day. and i don’t have insomnia or anything like that, i just be Staying Up

so, with those things in mind, i've been wondering, like,, like how the boys would react to an m/c like that, you know?

like, okay, first of all,, there's No Way mammon is gonna let mc sit alone in their room all day. his emotional support human?? alone without him??? unacceptable. it just isn't happening. he would Literally break mc's door down if they tried to keep him out, unless they, for some reason, really, really, really needed to be alone, and even then it is a Tossup. and then not sleeping or eating? hello, what do you think this is? he would accommodate them for a little while by bringing them food and making sure they slept but after a while he would literally drag them out of their room because there is no way. there is No Way he’s letting them turn into levi. not on his watch 

an mc like this would give luci an ulcer. a literal ulcer. why are you a human and playing with the limits of your body?? who are you, do you think you’re made of metal? do you realize you have classes to attend and that you’re surrounded by demons literally All The Time? you cannot be caught lacking (i.e. feeling faint or fatigued because you haven’t eaten in seventeen hours or slept in a day). he would bring food to your room so he could make sure you ate, but when it came to sleeping? get ready to literally be dragged/carried out of your room and into his because he has work to do and he needs to keep an eye on you because Clearly you cannot be trusted to take care of yourself. he would probably go as far as to stop doing work and go to bed so you have nothing to hold against him. can’t sleep at a regular time because of your nonexistent sleep schedule? that’s okay because, beloved, He Is Putting You To Sleep. how he does so is up to you; and if you try to play like you’re Fine?? 

“mc, it’s seven pm, when was the last time you ate?” “five.” “am or pm?” “...” “well, when was the last time you slept?” “i haven’t.” “MC.” 

you haven’t slept in just over a day? baby, levi’s record is three. he would be absolutely terrible for an m/c like this; he would enable them So Hard. maybe he would bring them food (and that’s Snacks, not actual food), and Maybe he would tell them to go to sleep once or twice, but Other Than That? he can’t take care of himself for Shit either, sorry you had to hear it from me, leviastans <3

asmo,, you are worrying this man Sick. you haven’t eaten in fifteen hours? are you on a diet? no? you Forgot To Eat? how many hours of sleep have you gotten? one? you Think? oh, Maybe it was two? ah, yes, mc, because that is So Much Better. seriously, though, if you won’t eat, fine, but if there’s one thing you’re doing, it’s sleeping. you can’t sleep at a decent time because you have no concept of a sleeping schedule? sweetie. beloved. he is putting you to sleep, be it through relaxing self care or something else, darling, you are knocking out. and when you wake up, he’ll have a full course meal ready and he will literally feed it to you himself.

what’s that? you haven’t eaten since Yesterday and it’s three in the afternoon? oh,, you sweet summer child, beel is heartbroken. keep insisting that you aren’t hungry while you can barely stand and his eyes will fill with tears. you don’t wanna leave your room? fine, but that is the only thing keeping him from throwing you over his shoulder and going to the kitchen. he would literally bring you as much food as he could carry and only eat a little bit on the way back to your room. can’t sleep? not a problem, wait there while he gets belphie to charm your pillow. do Not worry, teddy bear beel always has your back MUAH

speaking of belphie,, tell that man you haven’t slept in a day and he’s stopping what he’s doing, dragging you to the nearest cushioned surface, and laying down with you; you’ll be out in No Time. and once you’re up?? he’s dragging you to the kitchen and you’re eating any and everything he puts in front of you, and he’s not leaving you alone until you’re functioning like a human and not a gremlin, or so help him, you’ll die a second time. 

you’re like, op,, y did u put satan last?? i couldn’t think of anything for him until now, i Swear i love him, okay, Anyway, you haven’t eaten in almost a day? do all humans do that? no?? why can you Barely Stand??? do you need to be carried to the kitchen? he is so confused as to why you just Haven’t Eaten when that is a basic function that humans need to complete or else they literally die; now wait in your room while he brings you something to eat. you can’t sleep?? do Not worry, that man will curl up with you and read to you until you’re Knocked Out, which won’t take long because he has a calming presence and a soothing voice, sweetheart, u r in good hands

ok it’s 7AM and i’m contemplating doing the undateables,, should i do the undateables? i’m gonna do the undateables. 

oh my god,, if luke finds out that you haven’t eaten in, eighteen hours and you haven’t slept in like twenty,, the way you’re gonna have to put in Work to convince him that you did those things of your own volition and the demons you live with aren’t starving or overworking you and No they aren’t forcing you to lie about anything. after you’ve done that, he is seeing to it that you eat something right away; it does not matter where you are, you are a human and you’re feeling Faint around literal demons, are you Dumb? are you Dumb of Ass?? come with him immediately before you hurt yourself or get hurt, he is feeding you and then you’re sleeping in his room and he’s Not taking no for an answer; don’t even think about telling him no, he’ll cry at you. 

you cannot tell me simeon is not the doting/fussing type, okay, and he is appalled. Appalled. what did you just say. the reason why you don’t look so good is because you’ve been up since Yesterday and you haven’t eaten since then either? why? what do you mean you forgot to eat; what kind of human Forgets To Eat? oh, you didn’t forget? you just didn’t feel like getting up? you’re gonna give him an ulcer. if he doesn’t do anything else, he is getting you something to eat, you literally just activated every older sibling/parental instinct he has from luke being an angel. he will literally take you to the closest place with food, sit you down, and buy you whatever you want, and if you say you don’t want anything, he’ll buy you one of everything and give the leftovers to beel, do Not test him. and when you’re done eating, you’re taking a nap. where? anywhere. no one will disturb you so long as he’s there, you’ll sleep perfectly fine <33

dia is half horrified and half intrigued. you haven’t slept in how long? are humans supposed to do that?? NO??? like,, part of him wants to see how long you can last without sleep or food just to see the limits of the average human and part of him wants to feed you and make sure you sleep immediately. he would have to fight every urge to do the former, but once he did, you are eating everything he finds and you are sleeping for however long his Humans 101 manual says you should sleep for. 

i am so thoroughly convinced that solomon literally would not care at all you have No Idea- 

like,,, i just feel like he’d ask you if you were alright because you looked a little off and you’d tell him you hadn’t slept or eaten in a while and he’d first look at you like you were literally out of your mind and then depending on where you were, Maybe keep you company (read: make sure nothing happens to you) while you take a nap, or Maybe buy you food, or take you to the house or purgatory hall (whichever’s closer) because he wouldn’t leave you alone,, surrounded by demons, ever; let alone in your current state. ok wow maybe he does care what a sweetie

barbatos would literally. he would keep his ^_^ cool facade, but on the inside he would be Screaming. full throttle internal screaming that has been going on for centuries just got several notches louder because you can’t take care of yourself, i hope ure happy. you haven’t slept since yesterday? one notch. you didn’t eat breakfast or lunch? another notch. you feel faint? oH WOW REALLY??? I FUCKING WONDER WHY another notch. come with him. please come with him before he blows a fuse for the first time in 400 years because you think you’re an exception to the rules of being a human. he’s feeding you and putting you to sleep whether you think you’re fine or not; don’t argue with him, he already takes care of his immortal boss who is the equivalent of an excited child on most days or a troublesome teenager on others and he Does Not Lose Arguments. 

ok it’s almost 11am goodnight now <3

[shiro-0197]

You're so sweet what?? I'd write you a song too but I somehow suck at stringing melodies together 😣😣 they sound so awkward, I wish I had the talent to write songs :]

omg I remember that moment!! I was so shooketh, like damn, he's pretty strong owo, but omg you're just brilliant, don't be surprised :P I'm so proud to be your friend 😣💖 and I'm so proud of you in general. You're just all the good things rolled into one. Sweet? Soft? Adorable as fuck? A total genius? Yes—

Blondes are geniuses. I Stan. Oops, it kinda seems like you're my type, sir— kindly marry me? Skjdksjsks I think even despite the headaches and stuff, you're so intelligent, and i'm in awe of you, truly. You are one smart cookie :> (did you see what I did there? :P)

3 o clock? XD he's up at the oddest times, just like I am ✌️ my sleep schedule? ✨ Nonexistent ✨ Omg yes that would be such a good idea!! Please send me a pic if you do!! I'd love to see it. I draw bunny ears for my BTS bias, Jungkook, pretty often, because he loves joking around on his live streams and saying he's actually a rabbit and not a human (aight babe, so you're a furry—) but it's pretty cute >.<

I've had the weirdest obsession with catpeople recently 😔IDEK why tho the memes are cringey asf sjhssjak.

Yeah she's a firecracker, and she runs hot and cold. Sometimes she's the sweetest, and other times she's like this; 😶😶😶😶

I didn't like her either. Stuff got so explicit when she was on screen I had to fast forward it all xD but yeah every single character was so well thought out. I didn't expect to love Arisu as much as I do, because he was such a slob in the beginning, but I love how he's gone through character development. Aaah okok!! I love AOT so I was just curious hehe.

A guy who would help me?? Skin my useless board?? Were you?? Made for me?? 😔🤚 Tho those mfs better watch out because I'm scary when I'm angry.

nooo awww that's so cute. Picturing you smiling?? Serotonin📈📈📈 I usually wait till I'm free before I reply, and when I did it at Abigail's house she peeked over my shoulder and was like "omg such long messages, you must really love him" (I do indeed love you very much! and, if the messages are too long feel free to shorten them, idm 👉👈💖)

Thank you for the rec!! I'm gonna listen to it now. I love you too, my precious Shiro. Sleep well, sweet dreams. <333

—a tired individual

Relatable, I tried to do something in LMMS, but I have absolutely no knowledge in music theory and etc😭😭

Me too, I was like... sir?!?!??

Girl🥺🥺 I'm also vv honored to be your friend!!! Cuz like hello you're so awesome, you're smart and sweet and responsible and hardworking and !!!!!!!!!!!

Dnnsjrjsj when's our wedding🤨😻? Heheh I'm glad you think that🥺 tbh I would admit that if it werent for the fact that I cant stand history xd

Hahah, yeah! What's bothering me is that like... aren't you guys supposed to wake up early? Kuro wakes up at 6 am even though his bedtime ranges from 10pm to 5am, and there is absolutely no indicator of what's it gonna be tonight. If you'd only see his eye circles ;-;

Will do!!! Also, that's funny-- I always say I'm a chicken for absolutely no reason. They're so pretty? And tasty- ok I am so sorry XD

IM GONNA FIGHT HER CUZ NP WAY HES MINE🤬🤬🤬 WKKRKSKDKAKZK IM KIDDING KIDDING JQJFJSJDJ

True true, I watched those scenes like "ma'am.... pls". Also what she did to Chota was a bitch move, cuz she expected him to choose her because she let him fuck her🤨😡

True, Arisu wasnt the best character at first, but then I saw how damn good he was at strategies, and I was like. Goodbye😍

I'm also pretty intimidating on my own, and when I'm angry I'm like "😶" and my friends told me that I look like an angel of death I was like🤨🤨🤨🤨 that was funny XD

Hehehhe I love you too!!<33 Idk why I always feel embarrased when people see my messages, even though they're completely normal, like "omg you saw me message someone😩😩😩" I have no idea why that happens XD (trust me, I always try my best to fully respond to everything, because I'll be damned if I skip something, and if I do its mostly because I probably miss or forget to😔)

I hope you liked it!! It's my favorite song from them, alongside Never Meant To Know. Their songs are so good. Too bad I dont understand what they're about most of the time... that's why I love them, their lyrics confuse me bit they sound so good, and I really respect them for creating something like that. Cuz I could NEVER😭😩

I love you so much!! Thank you for your message<33💕💘💕💖💓💓💘💞💝💞💘💓💖💕💕💘💓

[piperemerald]

An Hour To Midnight

Fandom: Promised Neverland

Pairing: Norray

Coffee Shop / College AU

Summary: In which Ray works the closing shift at the Starbucks on his college campus and does not understand why Norman continues to walk through the doors at 11pm, order a tea, and sit at the counter until the cafe is closed.

AO3

“He’s back again.” Emma didn’t even meet Ray’s eyes as she stage whispered and subtly gestured to the doorway. Ray resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her. Apparently his usual amount of sarcasm was bad for business. Not that he thought their only customers in the past hour would care.

“Of course he’s back,” Ray replied instead. He made a point of keeping his tone as dry as possible, even though he was well aware any attempts to mask his emotions were rendered useless on the girl who had known him since they were both five.

It was his turn to man the cash wrap while Emma made the drinks and warmed up the food. They divided their shift, even though there was really no point. There was no point in the Starbucks being open two hours later than the dining hall and campus store. The 11pm rush that the university seemed positive they would receive was nonexistent.

At best, it was empty and Ray could spend the last two hours of work balancing a book on the register and testing Emma on psychology terms. At worst, they had one customer.

“Grande green tea and a strawberry scone?” Ray asked the closing shift’s only regular.

“Am I that predictable?” The boy chuckled. “Yes, thanks.”

Ray rang him up, knowing that Emma had already started the drink when he walked through the doors. This was the third night this week that he’d wandered in, each time he would end up sitting at the counter until closing. The last two instances, he’d made conversation with them. Ray had several theories as to why anyone would want to spend their night sitting in a cafe instead of sleeping, or studying, or doing anything else with their time.

The wildest one was that he was a vampire, the most likely one was Emma.

This would not have been the first time he’d watched some poor idiot fall for her, only to later realize that she was that friendly and bubbly to everyone. They weren’t special. A majority of the time, Emma was oblivious to this. In the case of the boy with the blond hair so light it was practically white and a seeming lack of a sleep schedule, Emma was completely convinced Ray was over exaggerating.

She was, however, fully in support of the vampire theory—which was apparently far more feasible than a handsome man being attracted to her.

She thought Ray was teasing her, when really he was being serious. He was also counting the days it took this kid to summon the courage to ask for her number. It seemed tonight wouldn’t be the night.

When Emma placed his drink and pastry in front of him, he only gave her a quick smile before his eyes went back to the phone in his hand. Ray was a little bit disappointed. As much as he knew it would be at this boy’s expense, he really wanted to have his ‘I told you so’ moment. Knowing that they likely wouldn’t get any more customers for the next hour, Ray turned his attention back to the book that he’d tucked into his apron when the door opened.

He was behind on the assigned reading, something that had never happened to him before in his life. It wasn’t even that Ray didn’t enjoy his classes, he did, but he often felt like there wasn’t enough hours in the day to do everything that was expected of him. He thought he’d known what he was getting himself into, after all back when he was signing up for classes the idea of finishing a book every week hadn’t seemed so insane.

It was different when he had time to take in each detail, to let his imagination enjoy the story. It was also different when he wasn’t trying to make excuses for the dyslexia that he knew slowed his reading pace to about half of all of his classmates, making it feel like there was no point that his comprehension was far higher and his analysis leagues better than any of them.

In high school he would buy the audiobooks to listen along with, because hearing someone else’s voice usually stopped the words on the page from swimming. But right now he couldn’t afford to shell out thirty bucks for every assignment.

“Could I get another one?” A smooth voice cut through Ray’s thoughts. He glances up to see the boy gesturing to the plate when the scone had once been. “It’s $3.75, right?”

Ray nodded. Emma was in the backroom, probably checking her phone but it wasn’t like he cared enough to chide her for that. They were both only working here because they had to—because they couldn’t afford their cramped dorm room without it. So he let the fact that she had left her post slide and warmed up the scone instead, placing it on the table and accepting the boy’s exact change.

“Thanks,” the boy was smiling again. There was something behind that smile—something incredibly exhausted, and drained, and all too familiar.

“No problem,” Ray said back.

Maybe if he’d just called Emma, maybe if he hadn’t spent a moment longer than needed looking into those soft blue eyes, nothing would have happened. But he did. And from there he was doomed.

“He’s kinda cute,” Ray said once the cafe was closed and the boy was gone.

Emma lifted her gaze from the deposit she was supposed to be counting to give him an odd look.

“What?” Ray felt like she was analyzing him. “I’m allowed to think stuff like that.”

“I never said you weren’t,” she laughed now. “You just usually don’t say it when you do.”

She had a point. Ray had come out to her back when they were eleven, he’d known he was gay since he was ten, but they rarely actually talked about boys. He blamed that on the fact that their lives were too busy to stop and have a romantic interest in anyone. He’d never really felt like he was missing out on much, anyway. Having a crazy best friend that he knew him better than he knew himself had always felt like more than he thought he deserved.

“You should ask him out,” Emma decided.

Ray snorted.

“I don’t even know his name,” he reminded her. There had never been any reason to ask it, since he was always the only one in the Starbucks Ray had never felt the need to write a name on the cup.

“Then ask him,” Emma pushed.

“I just said he’d kinda cute,” Ray gave her a deadpan expression. “Not that I’m head over heels after handing him a scone.”

“Whatever,” Emma rolled her eyes. “He is kinda cute.”

“Yeah,” Ray mumbled. “He is.”

The next night Emma wasn’t feeling well, but since none of their coworkers volunteered to cover for her she ended up staying for the first hour of the shift. It took that long for Ray to convince her to just go back to the room and that he could handle everything alone. Begrudgingly, she agreed and he was left alone with the book he still hadn’t finished.

Part of him almost regretted making her leave, since it was so much easier to keep himself together when she was with him and joking around. When he was alone, all of his fears felt a little bit bigger and the stress that might have been solved with a bit of sleep and a pep talk seemed impossible to defeat. It was while Ray was wallowing in this state of self pity that the door open.

He honestly wasn’t in the mood for this.

“Emma’s not here today,” he stated as the boy walked up to the register.

“I can see that,” the boy raised an eyebrow. “Can I get the usual?”

Ray mutely wrote on the cup and left the register to put the scone in the oven. He could feel the boy’s eyes on him as he did so, it made him feel like he wanted to crawl out of his skin.

“For here or to go?” He asked.

“For here,” the boy smiled at him again.

Ray didn’t say anything else. He took the money, gave him the change, and put the scone on a plate. It would probably take a few minutes at best for the awkward Emma-less silence to make this guy leave. Then Ray could finally focus.

“You were reading that last time too,” the boy spoke up. Ray only turned his head to give him a withering glare in response. “It’s good, isn’t it?”

“You’ve read it?” Ray asked back.

“Last year,” the boy nodded. “Intro to English, yeah? It was the first book they assigned.”

“It’s still the first book,” Ray said dryly. He let the blond boy connect the dots.

“It’s kinda dull,” he tried to sympathize.

“That’s not true,” Ray said back. “I’m just a slow reader and have a million other things people are expecting me to do, okay? It’s not because I don’t like it, or because I’m lazy, or because I don’t care. I’m so fucking tired of all of this!”

His voice rang out in the tiny cafe. He was dead. There was no way in hell this kid wasn’t going to tell the manager about Ray screaming at him. Then there went the job that was supposed to help him support himself. There went being able to afford his dorm and the lunches his meal plan didn’t cover. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he was in over his head and should just—

“Give it to me,” the boy held out his hand.

“What—”

“Give me the book,” his voice was sterner now but his expression was neutral. It was funny that, even though he was the one who had filled the small place with shouting, Ray was the one who was doing everything he could not to flinch. He handed the used paperback over.

Calmly—and far too composed for someone who had just had a mental breakdown that he’d done nothing to influence directed at him—the boy opened to the page Ray had dog tailed. He started reading out loud.

“You don’t—”

“It’s faster this way,” the boy stated. “That solves the problem, right?”

Ray didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t know how to react to the knowing, almost arrogant, eyes looking back at him, or the cool collected smile. He didn’t know why this stranger wanted to help him.

“Right,” he uttered.

“Good,” the boy directed his eyes back to the page. He started reading again.

It took until the end of the shift for them to finish the book that Ray had been assigned a week ago. He already knew what he would write his essay on. He already had a list of messages and conclusions he could pull out of the story that had just been read to him.

“Thank you,” Ray knew the words couldn’t fully encompass how unbelievably grateful he felt.

“I didn’t have anything else to do,” the boy shrugged.

Ray knew what he had to ask now was going to make him sound like a complete ass: “What’s your name?”

Instead of seeming offended, the boy let out a chuckle. His laugh sounded like water—flowing gently, but with a sort of up-and-down rhythm to it. Ray wasn’t sure he’d heard anything more beautiful in his life.

“Norman,” the boy stated. “And I already know you’re Ray.”

“Name tags are fun like that,” Ray said dryly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night,” Norman smiled at him one last time before leaving.

Ray found himself standing there, rooted to the spot and staring, long after Norman was gone.

[star-veil]

could you do “come cuddle” for reddie?

Of course !! 

Check it out on ao3, too prompt but don’t look at my theme

Morning’s greeting was rather unwelcome to his weary eyes. He blinked away the sleep and the blur of waking up and untangled himself from a lovingly laid trap of limbs. Richie was a cuddler, that was for sure. He liked to touch and hug and not let go- and in a way Eddie supposed it was because he was so afraid of losing him- but it was endearing nonetheless and kept them close at night when sometimes, just sometimes, one or the other would wake up in sweats and tears.

Eddie didn’t like it when Richie had nightmares.

His own were bad enough. He dreamt of dying. Of ice-cold steely claws tearing him open and rows upon rows of teeth like a sharks swallowing him up. He dreamt of Bowers stalking him through a midnight town that looked just enough like Derry to make him panic, because he should know what was around the corner- but he just didn’t. He even dreamt of Richie. Richie, in all his bravery, was so fragile inside. Eddie hated it when Richie had nightmares because he knew they were about losing him and he knew that Richie didn’t want to tell.

He didn’t want to seem so dependent. Didn’t want to admit that Eddie had been his first and only love and that losing him was like losing a hand or a heart. It was scary when your lover was so terrified of losing you that he shut you out altogether.

Tonight, Richie had slept well. Not a single cry of sob had awoken either of them. Just the steady beating of their hearts and shallow breaths ghosting each other’s cheeks.

Eddie placed one, then both feet on the floor of their apartment. The wooden floor was cool. There was a warm draft coming through the open window. Sunlight danced across the curtains. It cast upon them a sunset warmth mingling and mixing with their shared body heat. Though, as Eddie pulled away from Richie’s arms, there was an empty spot where the cold rushed in. Eddie turned and tucked the blanket over Richie’s shoulders. He wouldn’t be cold when he woke. It often worried Eddie that when Richie woke up alone- was he afraid Eddie was gone? Dead? Taken by It?

He watched Richie’s chest rise and fall. There were so many times either of them could have died. It was a miracle that in this world, in this special timeline, everything was alright. They bore the scars and memories but their lives forged on- together.

Eddie got to his feet. It was Saturday. He’d probably make a cup of coffee and put Richie’s meds out for him. He himself had stopped taking his long ago. That was a thing of the past. His past- whether he liked it or not.

There were a lot of things in their shared past he regretted. Not so many mistakes as misunderstandings. He wished he knew how Richie felt from the very beginning. It took too long to realize. It took too long to realize he felt the same way. Only after their lives had almost been lost did they finally embrace, crying freely into one another, whispering rushed “I love you"s as if if they didn’t say it now, they would never be able to.

In part, Richie’s trauma was Eddie’s fault. There were so many times he couldn’t save him. The one time it really mattered he couldn’t even move. He was frozen in fear. In shock. Denial. If Mike hadn’t hit It when he did… Richie would be gone. Floating, like Bev all those years ago. A kiss couldn’t save him then. Eddie couldn’t save him.

No- that was in the past. It’s alright now. They were both alright, both here.

Consciously, Eddie relaxed his jaw and let his hands fall loosely at his sides. He headed to the window and pulled it shut.

It was early enough to where the honking and screeching exhaust were near nonexistent. Some lucky ducklings heading to work on Saturday morning, but other than that- quiet. Eddie liked it when it was quiet. Richie slept better then, often until nine or ten in the morning when he would wake up well rested.

A quiet stirring, an for a moment Eddie panicked, hoping Richie wasn’t waking up without Eddie in his arms and afraid- until he turned to see his boyfriend laying back lazily, a sleep contentedness across his face. His dark hair was sticking up every which way except where it was supposed to, and his eyes were unfocused and dazed. He made no move to grab his glasses from the bedside table, though. Instead, he gazed over at Eddie and smiled a funny little half-smile.

“Morning, beautiful.” Richie mumbled.

“You can’t even see me, Rich.” Eddie cracked a smile.

“Then come a lil closer, baby.”

Eddie complied. He left the window and sat at the edge of the bed again. “It’s early for you.” He commented. “Finally getting a normal sleep schedule?”

“Hell no,” Richie’s nose crinkled. “You woke me up with your loud-ass big foot steps.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Says the snorer.”

“I don’t snore!” Richie threw his hands up weakly in protest.

“You do, ‘cause I’m always up all night listening to it.” Eddie shot back. There was love buried in their quarreling. A weird kind of love that to an outsider might look like bickering friends or mild enemies.

“Whatever. I’m cold. Come cuddle.” Richie lay back, looking up at Eddie expectantly. “Pleease?”

“Fuck you.” Eddie mumbled and slipped back under the blanket.

“Fuck me yourself, coward.” Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie’s shoulders and nestled closer to him. He let out a contented sigh and closed his eyes. Eddie knew he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Maybe next time, Rich, he found himself thinking. But in barely moments, he found himself slipping into worry-free slumber.

[breakingtanaka]

Serenade

summary: you and michael at 2am accompanied by a guitar, a speaker, and the rain. that is all.

rating: pg-13

pairing: michael/y/n

word count: 1.1k+

warnings/content: light swearing and a whole lotta soft!michael

author’s note: i wasn’t planning on writing at almost midnight but my friend was talking about this so i said let’s do it baby. if you’re reading this, please don’t kill me. the rest of you, enjoy. also, i’m sorry i’m shitty at posting. motivation = nonexistent sometimes.

After yet another long night spent in the library typing a ten-page paper, you finally stepped into the apartment. It was nearly two in the morning, your day having begun at eight the previous morning.

Nights like these were becoming more frequent; you would sit in an uncomfortable chair in front of your laptop late into the night. You were slightly grateful your university’s library was open twenty-four hours, but it didn’t help the excessive amount of stress you were burdened with.

On top of being a student, you also had to worry about your boyfriend - whether that be his absence or his being alone. As of late, it had been the latter you were worried about. When he wasn’t on tour, Michael spent time at home while you were in class. It was a routine that was hard to get used to, especially when the two of you barely got time together as it was.

The stress was noticeably getting to you; upon seeing your droopy eyes Michael suggested that you take a day off. You insisted on sticking it out, not wanting to get behind or jeopardize your grades. He was aware of your diligence and determination, but he was also aware that you were approaching your breaking point. Still, you continued pushing yourself (too hard, according to Michael), just making due dates and hardly sleeping.

You let your bag fall off your shoulders onto the floor, putting your head in your hands as you sat on the bed.

“Long night again?”

You didn’t move when you heard his voice, but you found it nonetheless comforting.

“Yeah...yeah,” you sighed, rubbing your eyes. You took off your shoes, walking to the bathroom to let your hair down, remove your makeup and brush your teeth. Your nighttime routine these says was very minimal, as it was all you really had the energy for. You returned to the bedroom, your choice of pajamas automatically being one of Michael’s shirts.

You settled into bed next to him, his arm naturally wrapping around you to pull you into him. He planted a firm kiss into your hair, a silent goodnight.

Normally, you would be so exhausted from your academic activities that you would fall asleep right away, but tonight proved to be different. Your mind was racing, a million things running through it at once. You thought about him, about the time you wish you had.

Michael felt you move and stir, sensing your restlessness.

“Babe, you need to go to sleep,” Michael spoke softly, his hand caressing your head and your back.

“Mi, it’s fine,” you sighed. “Just wanna lay here with you for a while ‘s all.”

Michael reached over to the bedside table, grabbing his phone. He reached over once again to turn on the Bluetooth speaker.

You knew immediately when you heard a familiar song that he was playing one of the playlists he had created for the both of you. This one in particular mostly consisted of soft songs to lull you to sleep.

“You know, I hate being away so much,” you looked down at his chest in the dark, your fingers tracing patterns on his skin. “It’s like whenever you’re gone, I’ve got the most time on my hands, but when you’re here, I’m always in class. I just wish I could be here more.”

“Don’t worry about me; just do what you need to do when you need to do it,” Michael reassured you. “We’ve made this work in the past, so we can make it work now. Look after yourself first.”

“I just can’t help but feel bad that you’re always alone. One of us always has to sleep alone and wake up alone. It’s not healthy, Mike.”

“I’m fine, I promise. When tour is scheduled again we’ll figure out what to do then,” Michael kissed your forehead, looking up at the ceiling as the music played quietly.

You almost didn’t want to rest. You hardly ever got  moments like this with Michael anymore, so why waste it with your eyes closed?

Your normal routine was pretty bland and repetitive: get up, go to class, do homework, go to sleep. You sometimes didn’t even have time to sit down and have a meal for yourself. You were overloaded with work and completely overwhelmed. However, you found comfort in the music and in Michael’s embrace. The stress evaporated from you, erasing any sort of problems you had at the moment, even if it was just for a time.

The two of you laid in silence for an unknown amount of time before the soft patter of rain on the windows began. The rain almost added to the moment, the calmness and peacefulness. Michael hummed softly to the music, your head rested in the crook of his neck.

“Babe?” You broke the silence after a while.

“Hm?”

“Can you play guitar for a bit?”

“‘Course I can,” Michael obliged, carefully getting up out of bed to get his guitar. He sat on the side of the bed, facing the window.

He began playing the slow chords to ‘Give Me Love,’ his voice soon following.

It wasn’t much longer before you were forced to succumb to your exhaustion, your eyes becoming heavy. Michael finished the song, turning around and grinning at the sight of you now fast asleep. He sat his guitar back on the stand, returning to his spot in bed. The music was turned off, the rain the only sound filling your bedroom.

He turned onto his side, wrapping his arms around you to pull you into him once again.

Your eyes slowly opened, greeted by the morning light shining through the windows. You took a moment to adjust to your surroundings, stretching and rubbing your eyes, careful not to disturb your sleeping boyfriend.

You grabbed your phone, checking the time. Your heart raced, realizing you were in fact late for your first class. In the midst of everything, you’d forgotten to set your alarm.

“Fucking hell,” You groaned. You quickly shot out of bed, hurrying to go get ready.

Your sudden movements startled Michael. He felt around in the bed for you before hearing the sink running as you hurriedly washed your face.

You felt a pair of arms wrap around you from behind, scruff tickling your neck.

“Skip class ‘n stay with me,” Michael murmured, his voice raspy and his hair a disheveled mess.

“I wish I could,” you chuckled. “Believe me.”

Michael began to walk backwards, pulling you back towards the bed. “Yes, you can, because I’m going to make you,” he giggled.

He rolled over, laying on top of you. You reached your hands up to his face, placing them on his cheeks.

“Shut the fuck up and kiss me, Clifford.”

[sunflwrvolume6]

someone lost, something gained [9]

on ao3 | wattpad

[previous] | [masterlist]

People pass by, to and from the building, and an ambulance screams into the bay around back. Birds land and fly away, crumbs clutched in their beaks like prize-winning meals. An undulating worm of cars inch down the block - red, black, silver, blue, blue, lime green, black... The cup slowly grows colder in her hands, but still Veda sits.

Eventually, Debbie seems to get the hint that Veda won’t open the door again and follows after her siblings, leaving with a squeal of tires. Veda turns away from the front window with a self-satisfied smile. She has to admit that the encounter could have gone in a worse direction. It was, quite frankly, the best outcome that she could have expected. She isn’t sure what to do with herself now that it’s over, though. The anger she felt during the interaction, the pride at standing her ground, is gone again, smothered into nonexistence by the hollow cold that has enveloped her over the last week. Veda sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. A week. Veda can’t believe it’s been a week since Granddad passed. Losing him seems to have cut off any grasp she ever held on time. She pads quietly to the couch, dropping onto the cushions without ceremony, and stares blankly ahead. “What are you doing here?” Veda asks quietly once she pulls open the door two hours later, and Hattie gives her a grim smile and holds up a bottle of bourbon. “Figured maybe we’d wanna visit Granddad’s old pal.” A true smile, small and wavering but still genuine, twists at Veda’s lips, and she steps back to let her cousin into the house. Hattie passes the Jim Beam over, pulls off her heavy jacket and boots while Veda heads to the kitchen. It may be barely ten in the morning, but Veda won’t turn this down. Glasses full of ice and bourbon, Veda follows her cousin back to the couch. The pair drinks in silence for a while, but Hattie breaks the quiet after their second glass. She reaches out for Veda’s hand, squeezing gently, as a laugh bubbles up. “D’ya remember when- when Granddad was helping me to learn to ride a bike, but you got so mad because it meant that we had to use your bike, and you just, you laid down in the middle of the street and screamed of the injustice in the universe.” Veda bites her lip, nods and ducks her head. “I swear, Granddad about laughed himself unconscious over that. Which just made my tantrum worse.” “Didn’t you only move because of Nonna Costa?” “Well, she was Mamma Costa back then, but yeah. She scared me.” Veda sighs and sips at her bourbon. “Oh, oh! Do you remember when we got into a fight over who’d have the top room whenever we came to visit? And Granddad told us we’d better make a choice or he’d move all his shit up to the room and make us sleep on the couch?” Hattie giggles, pushing her hair from her face. The mid-morning sun casts a spotlight on the tears in her hazel eyes. Veda stares at the amber liquid, gleaming a light golden in the sunlight, and recalls the feeling of righteous indignation she’d felt when Hattie drew the longer piece of the spaghetti noodle. She snorts in amusement when she remembers exactly how she ended up in the room by the next night. “Is that room still haunted?” Hattie asks after a moment, and Veda pauses with her glass halfway to her mouth. “It, uh, it never actually was.” “Yes, it was! Or are you telling me I imagined all the scratching sounds and the voices?” “Well, you didn’t imagine the noises, no, but… it was me.” Hattie stares, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, as Veda admits that the scratching and thumping came from the broomstick handle against the ceiling of the second-floor bedroom, the whispering from Veda climbing on top of her dresser to moan and groan into the air vent that ran between the two rooms. When Veda finally goes quiet, feeling more and more like a total jerk, Hattie slaps her arm. “You asshole! I stayed up all night that night, freaking out because I thought some ghost was going to murder me!” “I’m surprised you never told Granddad about it.” Hattie shakes her head, her grin dimming slightly. “We’d argued for hours over that room, I didn’t wanna admit that I regretted the victory. Figured telling him I felt bad that you were so upset was a good way of, what’s the word, mitigating that.” “I hate that you don’t have very many recent memories of Granddad,” Veda admits softly as the amusement fades. “Honestly, it breaks my heart that you didn’t have the relationship with him that I did.” Hattie blows out a breath and swallows down the last of her drink. Veda watches her cousin refill her glass, drink it all in one long swallow, then pour more Beam in. Once Hattie settles back into the cushions, her lips curve into a slight smile, and she runs her finger along the rim of her glass. “I wish I did, it’s... better, I think, that I didn’t. That I wasn’t around a whole lot after I turned ten. I mean, I was like you for a very long time. I thought everything my mother said was the truth. That she couldn’t - wouldn’t - lead me astray. Grandpa didn’t need that. If I’d been allowed around him, I woulda just learnt to use him like the rest of them. At least he had you.” “What do you mean?” “You weren’t ever like our family, even when your mom had her nails so deep into you that you were her mirror.” Hattie shrugs, a jerky rise and fall of her shoulders. “You never treated him like they did. Not as badly as they did, anyway. Sure, you fucked up and kept going back to Olivia, but you broke free.” Veda leans against her cousin, lets their heads come together. She lifts her glass in the air. “To Granddad, the most amazing man we have ever known and who deserved more than he got.” “May he be gettin’ some tail up in the afterlife.” Their giggles slowly morph into identical weeping, and Veda is so thankful she isn’t alone for this breakdown. Having someone here who feels the same as she does makes it easier to let herself feel anything, even the crushing weight of Granddad’s death and the hole he’s left behind. _______________ Waking up with a hangover is something that Veda hasn’t experienced in a while, and she spent all of Friday nursing cup after cup of coffee that slowly grew cold, incessantly whining and moaning about the pounding in her skull. Hattie didn’t leave until late in the evening, promising to call Veda as soon as she reached her dorm room. The quiet after she left hadn’t been nearly as oppressive. Veda kept herself busy on Saturday by going through Granddad’s records, making a list of which accounts to cancel and which to transfer into her name. It hadn’t been much - the house was completely paid off, a wedding gift to him and Mom-Mom all those years ago, but there were still utilities and property taxes that needed to be paid. Plus, she has to pay an inspector to come in and make sure the house is still inhabitable. Three days after that drunken morning spent with Hattie, Veda finds herself stood in the corridor of the children’s wing, staring around at the passing nurses. Hoping for a somewhat familiar face. It’s a Sunday, but she isn’t certain what that means in the whole scheme of scheduling. “Uh, hi, I’m - I’m looking for Niall. He’s a nurse on this floor.” The woman behind the desk glances up from the file in her hand then immediately goes back to it. “Sorry, doll, can’t give information about staff or patients.” “I know, I know the restrictions. I work in a hospital, too. I just... Okay, well, if you see him, can you tell him Veda needs to talk to him?” “Will do.” Veda nods though the nurse doesn’t see it. Turning on her heel, she heads back to the lift. The to-go cup of coffee in her hand bleeds warmth into her fingers and palm, and she focuses on that the too-hot heat. It isn’t until she is sat on one of the benches outside that she realises that even if the nurse does pass on the message, Niall is going to have no way of contacting Veda. “Wow, really don’t think things through, do ya?” she mutters under her breath, fingernail picking at the edge of the cup lid. People pass by, to and from the building, and an ambulance screams into the bay around back. Birds land and fly away, crumbs clutched in their beaks like prize-winning meals. An undulating worm of cars inch down the block - red, black, silver, blue, blue, lime green, black... The cup slowly grows colder in her hands, but still Veda sits. Footsteps stutter to a stop then double-back. “Ve-Veda?” Veda finally looks away from the toes of her shoes, forcing a smile at Niall. The sun has shifted further to the west in the sky overhead, and she blinks in surprise. She hadn’t realised so much time has passed. She tightens her grip on the cup in her hand and clears her throat. “Can we go get that coffee now?” Her heart sinks when his confused expressions turns pained. He shoves a hand through his already-mussed hair and blows out a heavy breath. “I just got off a thirteen-hour shift. I, I don’t really think it’s a good time for that.” Veda knows her smile is far too brittle, but she nods and says, “Oh. Okay. That’s fine. Yeah, totally fine. I just, uh, wanted to see if the offer was still open. That’s all. Totally fine.” She hides her mortification - and disappointment - by taking a sip of her coffee, grimacing at how cold and stale it’s become. Tossing the cup into a nearby bin, she adjusts her jacket and bustles past Niall. He wraps his fingers around her wrist as she passes, tugs her to a stop. She avoids meeting his eye directly. Instead, she stares at the curve of his eyebrow. “I have tomorrow off, though,” he says softly. “I can come by yours around nine?” Veda swallows, dipping her chin. “That sounds great.” “Are you okay?” he asks after a pregnant pause; his blue eyes skim over her face as if trying to read the answers there. “I’m… not sure. I’ll see you tomorrow, Niall.” He releases her wrist, fingers sliding lightly across her skin as she pulls her hand back, and she sends him another smile before walking away. Something other than the usual grief niggles at the edges of her soul. It takes a long moment, but she eventually puts a name to it - hope, comfort.

[01010010-posts]

— fake heart but real me, the same as you.

requests: im gonna put this worm in your ear: au where reader works pretty much as a wall-e type and rk900 is eve

Imagine an android reader interfacing with the robo boys im just so obsessed with this intimate android gesture and im sorta sad not a lot of fics have it aND ALSO HHHHHH I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH ITS SO SOFT AND PURE,,,, IT IS THE EMBODIMENT OF SUNSHINE BSBSBHWWJNSNS AAAAAA

Can I ask for a headcanon of the Rks and their S/O if they were a sex worker android?? Or even the Rks can be the sex workers. Anything as long as the reader is an android pls.

ohhhhhhh pick the android reader one. I'm never able to find any on here. I mostly like them cuz if you're human, you'll eventually die. Which is depressing...

me, in the year 2019, still using fictional characters as coping mechanism since i cant love myself: it be like that huh also 60’s one turned out bad im sorry :o

Connor:

• he actually bumps into you during his eden club case • yep you’re one of the tracis he connects with to find the blue-haired one • there’s nothing peculiar about you • and honestly, the first time he meets you he still isn’t a deviant • but that doesn’t mean he won’t remember you • in fact, his instinct, when investigating a scene after the revolution, and casually glancing your way, is to send you a smile • of course you don’t remember who this other android may be • the club policy was to wipe memories in two hours after all • oh but you’re a curious robot with an empty schedule so you don’t mind waiting the whole half hour it takes for cops to get your testimony • would you look at that he’s coincidentally done as soon as you’re about to leave!! • “hey– I won’t rob you of more minutes” a quip “but I just wanted to say that I’m happy you got free, and, well, to thank you for your help, both then and now. and maybe to apologize for interfacing without asking–” • “umh, excuse me but do i know you?” • and he’s a little taken aback because wow he totally forgot about it • “oh– right, gosh, I’m terribly sorry. we already– I mean, we previously met but maybe this isn’t the best phrasing. I’m– well, we– mh I was–” • is he stumbling through his words? • you shouldn’t, really, but you can’t help but laugh • and he stops, delightfully surprised that he made you chuckle at least a bit • and maybe he blushes blue • “I guess we could still try to get know each other now....” 

RK900:

• one could say that RK900 is cold, superficial and maybe a little scornful • and one could say that the receptionist model of the DPD is nothing but old, obsolete and surely banal • but then again one would be pretty wrong in both cases • for the receptionist is capable of performing several exaflops operations per second, managing appointments and schedules, even speaking multiple languages • for RK900 is, yes, all of the above, but one thing is yet to be added: he’s terribly in love with the old receptionist model of the DPD. • and he’s very bad at hiding it. • he says ‘good morning’ and ‘good evening’, and eventually ‘good night’, every time he passes through the station’s doors • he, not one day of his career, has been late to work • he makes sure gavin is not rude to you • he sometimes silently helps with humans that might be prone to causing you problems while on the job • he leaves tiny juice-box sized thirium packets on your desk • he got the wrong thirium for your model the first time • and you, tenderly weirded out by the sudden appareance of such thing, had to give it to connor • this dork hasn’t been able to forgive himself ever since • though you don’t know it’s him, he’s the most advanced prototype don’t think he’d leave any traces behind • but being the latest friend shaped iphone has its perks and its cons, for example to not be endowed with social modules as good as yours and not having any idea on how to start a relationship • if it were for him you two would never go past the whole stage of casual conversations and his pining • which, as two androids, could last forever. every human in the present police station could grow old and die and you both would still be there, chatting, smiling, making awkward remarks to each other about the weather. not that any of you really mind that. or maybe he just says those things because you’re not a waterproof model? • but it’s okay because there’s this moment where it’s late at night and almost everyone is gone to their houses and it’s mostly you and him and yes, he doesn’t technically need sleep but you worry about him anyway • and you go up to him and you touch his hand to gain his attention and he, as if sparked by electricity, immediately turns his head towards you • “sorry. i didn’t know RK900 could be so easily scared” you hint a laugh, slightly covering your mouth with the tips of your digits, but don’t let go of the contact with his knuckle • he looks away for a second, fighting his biocomponent to not give away his blue blush “no, it’s my fault, I was too focused on the reports–” as he says this he fixes his eyes to yours and stops “wha– why are crying? is something the matter?” how cruel is it for you to have this feature he does not possess. at this point all of his energy is channelled into not taking your face between his palms and comfort you, whatever it is he can help, as he always does • “is that what you think of me? why you never told me anything?” and suddenly he lowers his gaze to the dark table, seeing your fingers interlacing in a soft white glow, exchanging informations through circuits 

RK800-60:

• “can you stop simulating sighing?” • “I’m not simulating it, I am sighing” • “well. can you stop anyway?” • “uhhh, of course not?” • and now it’s RK900’s turn to heave his chest in exasperation whispering a silent “why the fuck are you build like this” • “I CAN hear you, you know” • “I sure hope you do, otherwise I’d have to send a request for repair on a RK800 model” • “shut the fuck up– connor! move! I can’t see them otherwise!” • “60, I have to work, and you should too. stop with the staring” 51 rolls his eyes, not even bothering to launch an annoyed look at his twin, swivelling in his chair as to let the other enjoy his favourite activity: watching the android server from the chinese restaurant across the street that brings lunches to human police officers • “why don’t you just ask them out and spare us with your eternal pining?” • “excuse me? have you perhaps gone mad, nines?” and he deliberately uses that because he knows RK900 doesn’t like it • but, actually, it’s not a bad idea, it shouldn’t be too difficult, just going near them, chatting a bit and using his charm like he always does • but, actually, now that he decided to execute his thoughts, mhh, how to say it, his body is acting against him, making his leg bounce the weird way it always does, making the little wheels in his head going in an opposite motion • “he–” some cough to clear his throat of an nonexistent clot “hey! it’s sunny today, isn’t it?” • GOSH that was such a stupid icebreaker where’s all of his confidence gone!! • but you smile, nevertheless, and your eyes slowly close in that friendly manner he’d grown to love, along with your lips that go up up and up, almost in an inhuman way, flashing a polite face • the same that makes him weak at his knees, makes his thirium pump regulator go crazy from all the blue blood it has to send in the upper part of his freckled cheeks and nose • “yes. we’re having nice weather.” you murmur, gathering back the bags you used to carry all the takeaway in • “I’m– I want to order something.” he has your attention “for tomorrow’s break, I mean” • “oh? you’re buying a plate for a human co-worker? that’s sweet. what would they like?” • “yes– I mean, no– for me, it’s for me.” • “mh? but you’re an android. i’m sorry but we don’t sell thirium based dishes.” • “oh that’s fine. I’m designed to eat like humans do.” he wouldn’t be doing so bad, if it wasn’t for his red LED giving his panic away • “are you? quite peculiar.” you giggle, absolutely delighted by the artificial pearlescent sweat adorning his temples and his fingertips “i’ll get you something then.” • this is probably the toughest order he’s ever asked, and probably the first and last • 51 and RK900 are SO going to mock him the next day they’re gonna laugh at his enamoured ass faking eating just to please his crush he never even picked up a fork in his life what’s he gonna DO

[ikesenhell]

Land of the Living

GLITTER & GOLD, CHAPTER 2. You can find all other IkeSen works of mine here. NOTES: This was a LiveWrite! Thank you to @selenecrawford, @jennacat84, @kerriescreativecorner who hung out and helped make edits!

The sun rose over Waŋblí Hoȟpi, bright orange rays peering over the mountains and plains. Masamune was up with the dawn. Habits died hard, even when you were home. Calming his drumbeat heart was a Herculean task, so he roused himself and took a walk.

Ieyasu had put him up in his house, a small yellow building with a tiny pepper garden out front. Masamune checked on the plants and his bike before ambling down the dusty street. No one stirred at this hour--

Well, save the general store.

He hadn’t expected her out on the front porch. She stood with her arms folded, long, dark hair sweeping behind her in the wind. God. What a sight. Masamune paused and drank it in, watched how the firebrand of the world reflected against the shine of her. Out of all the things he’d seen--all the places he’d been--nothing compared to her.

Eventually she saw him. She blinked in surprise and shot him a smile, so he tipped an imaginary hat and released a whistle.

“Hello there, Lass.”

“Wow. It’s been ages since you called me that.” Her eyes crinkled, fingers beckoning. “Come on. What are you doing up so early?”

“I could ask you the same.”

“Cheater. No fair turning a question around on me without answering it. You want some tea?”

“They don’t offer tea as much out other places, you know.” He tucked his hands in his pockets anyway and stepped onto the porch, following her inside. “Just get up early usually for the drives. You know. Courier stuff.”

“Ah. Courier stuff. I see.” He heard the laugh in her voice more than saw it. “I didn't think couriers had hours, strictly speaking.”

“Not strictly speaking, no, but I liked to keep a good schedule going.”

This time he went with her into the small back kitchen. Long ago, when he was a kid still, he’d watched her father make all the cabinetry out of wood they’d hewn from the mountains. They were made to last, that was certain; she dipped her hand inside one and produced a coffee tin filled with leaves. Masamune brushed back a hand-embroidered curtain from a slender window and settled in. “So. What was your problem? I don’t remember the store ever opening this early.”

She shrugged. “It doesn’t.”

“What, you gonna get me spilling my schedule to you and not divulge yours? That’s just plain rude, Kitten.”

Her smile was thrilling and thin. “Oh, I’m ‘Kitten’ now? Get the honey, would you? I keep it in the spice box.”

Masamune flipped open the small chest on the table and selected the tiny glass jar, setting it by her elbow. She thanked him with a nod and ladled a small spoonful into two mugs. “No, I just--I couldn’t really sleep.”

“Do tell.”

An inhale. That was never good. Whenever someone sucked in a breath like that, Masamune had learned to hold his tongue and hope for the best. Good news never seemed to follow. Sure enough, she shut her eyes and twisted her head, as if just shaking it would push whatever it was away.

“It’s the damn ship.”

A tingle ran up his spine, the bone-deep, ingrained smell of gunpowder lancing through his nose. Without thinking, he cupped a hand over his eyepatch. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. So I got up and started sorting out my affairs--”

“No,” he growled. “No, you ain’t. It ain’t gonna take you.”

She shrugged again. “You’re the only one it hasn’t taken.”

“It--” He sputtered through a sentence and tried again. “It didn't take my dad, either. He took him. Look, it--that ship ain’t gonna touch you. You don’t have to settle shit.”

“Rich words coming from the man who’s been on the run from it for the last couple of years.”

That stung. Masamune fell silent and just watched her stir the tea, her brows meaningfully arched. There wasn’t any sense in arguing with her. Instead he shifted closer, wrapping an arm over her shoulders. “I’m here now, aren’t I?”

Her dark eyes glittered sideways at him. He pressed on. “And I ain’t fixin’ to let you just go like that. It’s not about to happen, not while I’m around, Kitten.”

At last--at last!--she leaned her head into the crook of his neck and sighed. Masamune nuzzled her scalp and inhaled the sweet smell of bergamot and spice. Slowly, carefully, he eased her toward the table. “I could take you away from here, you know.”

Her eyelashes fluttered. “I know.”

“We could just go. Anywhere. Anywhere you want.”

“I know.”

“Being a courier ain’t so bad,” he assured her. “It’s all the road you’d ever want and all the sunsets. No ship ever touched me out there on the road. It won’t touch you here, but--”

The bell at the front of the shop jingled. She frowned, casting a glance toward the door, and got to her feet. “No one should be stopping in at this time.”

“I’ll wait.”

She rounded the corner. Masamune took a long sip of the tea and wondered if he could get cloves all the way out here. He’d found some in the west, maybe it would stand the journey--

“Ah!” A man’s voice boomed through the shop. “The new chosen!”

That sounded ominous.

“Excuse me?” Her voice faltered for only a moment. “I’m sorry--we’re not open yet--”

“Don’t worry about that. Such things are the mundane. No more!”

“Th’fuck?” Masamune muttered, and got to his feet.

“Your new journey awaits! You were chosen by The Ship! Your shop is the domain of the living, not the chosen dead--”

That was quite enough. He rounded the corner, rolling back his sleeves meaningfully. She stood behind her counter, brows arched and back rigid. The speaker wasn’t much to look at; an ordinary man in jeans and a worn t-shirt, a thin farming jacket slung over his arms. As soon as he laid eyes on Masamune, he blanched.

“You got a problem, here?” Masamune growled. “Should I be seeing him out?”

“Yeah.” Her voice shook. “If you don’t leave, I’m afraid we’ll have to escort you out.”

The man who stared at them was a stranger. And that was an oddity of its own--Waŋblí Hoȟpi wasn’t large enough to have outsiders, exactly. Then again, it had been quite a long time since he’d been home. Maybe it was a newcomer. Masamune took another meaningful step forward. “You heard the Lass.”

“You,” the stranger breathed. “Masamune Date. The one that defied Fate.”

“The one that did what?” He snapped, regaining his composure only a moment later. “Y’know what? Yeah. Sure. Sounds strange, but I’ll go with it. Besides that, you got a choice here: leave the shop on two legs, or just one. You feel me?”

At last, the threat hit home. Casting her one final look, the stranger disappeared between the store shelves, the bell announcing his departure only a moment later. Masamune vaulted the counter after him.

“I’m locking that damn door.”

She took a steadying breath. “Yeah.”

He locked all the bolts in record time. “You know that fellow?”

“No,” she answered. He heard the familiar scrape of a shotgun pulled out from under the counter and the crack of checking to see if it was loaded. “And I don’t plan on it. He might be one of those weird folk that moved outside the town limits.”

“Can’t say I know ‘bout them.”

“Yeah, couple years back, we got word of some people squatting out there in the old farming areas. Didn't see a point in clearing them out, I think, cause there just wasn’t any threat to them. Suffice to say, I’m creeped out.” She joined him at the door, gun in hand. “He still out there?”

Masamune parted a curtain and shot his glance up and down the street. “Can’t see him now.”

“Great.” She didn't ease up on her grip. “Just great. How do you think he knew?”

“Words gets out, I think.”

“That it does,” she replied solemnly. At last, she rubbed her eyes. “What the actual fuck was that about?”

“Dunno, but it creeped the living hell outta me.” Masamune snapped the curtain shut and turned to her, stroking her hair. “You okay?”

“No.” She exhaled hard and spun on her heel, marching back to the kitchen. He followed at a clip. “No, I’m not. I don’t--I don’t want to be chosen. I’m not--I’m not going to die. Not like this.”

“Atta girl,” he praised, checking out the back window. In the distance, someone stood--doing what, he wasn’t certain. He wrenched the curtain shut. “Ain’t no one gonna take you.”

“No. They’re not.” Setting the shotgun down on the kitchen counter, she rounded on him and declared, “I’m going to find out what’s up with that ship.”

---

“No.” Ieyasu was barely audible over Mitsuhide’s strangled laughter. “No. This is stupid.”

“Let him--” Mitsuhide wheezed for air, “Let him finish. I want to hear how this train will wreck today.”

“Kitten’s gotten resolved to track the damn thing down.”

Mitsuhide rocked back so hard in his chair that it collapsed underneath him. Mitsunari gasped and lunged to his aid. Ieyasu just scowled.

“How does she propose to do that? Follow the nonexistent tracks? Smell the nothing on the wind?”

“It’s got something to do with those weirdos outside of town, we think.”

“‘Think’,” Ieyasu repeated. “Are you sure there’s a lot of thinking going on here? It doesn’t sound like it. That ship predates anyone here at the settlement.”

“Look,” Masamune snapped. “How many people have you lost to a fucking ghost ship?”

That stopped the laughter. Mitsuhide pried himself from the wreckage of the chair and straightened up, brushing himself off. Emboldened, Masamune pressed forward. “How many times is this gonna happen before you do something about it?”

Ieyasu’s eyebrows crinkled. “It isn’t a matter of doing something. There’s not much that can be done for a hallucination, or whatever it is--”

“My ass it’s a hallucination. Do you think what happened to my dad was a hallucination?”

The other man opened his mouth and clearly thought better of it. Slowly, he closed it again. “That’s not a fair question.”

“Yeah, it is.” Masamune rapped his knuckles on the table. “How many times is it gonna happen before you take it seriously? When a third of the town is gone? Half? All of it?”

“A fair point,” Mitsuhide drawled, finally serious. “Though it begs the question of where, exactly, you propose we start. It isn’t as if we’ve been sitting on our asses while people disappear.”

That was a good question. He didn't have any clear cut answers--just a few hunches. “Look. I’ll do a little field work. If I need some references, I’ll bring it back to you all. Deal?”

Mitsunari beamed. “We’d love to help. Right, Ieyasu?”

“Go dunk yourself in the missile silo,” Ieyasu grumbled. “Fine.”

[argylemikewheeler]

mike sort of gets angry about small things and has mini temper tantrums sometimes. like one day mike will be going off about someone at work who has the worst attitude and will’s learned that one of the only ways to calm him down is to just plant soft kisses on his face as he’s yelling. often times will has to shut mike up by kissing him. and mike knows exactly what will is doing but he never stops him.

“You aren’t going to fucking believe what happened today!” Mike bust through Will’s front door without knocking, not that he ever needed to. Will could hear him stomping up to the door, rattling the planks of the porch.

“You know I love a good work story.” Will said calmly, placing his sketchbook aside. He’d been working on his most recent commission, waiting for Mike to return from his shift at the mall. Work hadn’t been going well since the first day. Will was sure it was a combination of Mike’s lack of interest in the service industry, the constant interaction, and the fact that he was using the job to avoid being home as much as possible. It was wearing on Mike, and it showed. More so in moments like this– temper flared and aggravation driving him all the way to Will’s house blind– than anywhere else.

“So, I’m trying to fucking do my fucking job, and this girl comes up to me–” Mike starts, pointing his finger off to the side, giving stage directions to the scene he was painting in front of Will. “And she asks me where she can find a fucking Sears.”

“Which does exist in the mall.” Will added quietly, trying to add logical footnotes to Mike’s story. He held a hand out to Mike and waved him over to the couch. Mike didn’t take it at first, still waving his hand around. Will grabbed it before he took an eye out and pulled him toward him. “Go ahead.”

“Yeah. It’s one of the main goddamn stores in the mall– she’s got to be blind to not know where it is. But I tell her. Because I have to. I have to be nice. Nice and scoop fucking ice cream. That’s all I do.” Mike grumbled. He fell back and plopped next to Will. He rested his head against the back of the couch and sighed loudly, with enough force to muster up a growl.

“You do a really good job with both, Mike.” Will said quietly, placing a hand on Mike’s arm. “You always give me a really big scoop with a beautiful smile.”

Mike sighed and let his head loll toward Will. “I have to be nice to you.”

“You don’t have to.” Will laughed, shaking his head. “But you do. Because you’re nice. And you scoop ice cream.”

“I still fucking hate it.” Mike muttered, clenching his jaw. “Because then, after I tell her, she goes away with all her friends.”

“Okay.” Will listens but begins slowly smoothing the collar of Mike’s uniform. “So she leaves. She’s gone.”

“And she comes. back. and she starts saying I gave her the wrong directions– which I didn’t! She just literally doesn’t know her rights from her goddamn lefts!” Mike sat up and waved his arms out, giving examples to the nonexistent audience.

“Mike, hey, come on.” Will said, placing a hand on Mike’s chest to try and pull him back in. Mike was upset about more than being told he gave bad directions. He was probably told he was bad at something a little more personal that morning at the breakfast table. Will didn’t have to ask, but he also didn’t want to know what had been said. Will had heard his own variation of it from Lonnie, he was sure.

“This girl starts standing at the counter, blocking the line behind her, and starts ripping into me– she’s like thirteen. I could have stepped on her if I wasn’t getting paid to be nice and scoop. fucking. ice cream.”

“Hey, come on.” Will moved on the couch and kneeled beside Mike. “You’re going to tire yourself out, Mike. We have dinner later.”

“She got away with it! Every other worker there heard her screaming at me for literally nothing and they didn’t do anything.” Mike continued, running a hand through his hair. “Fuck.”

Will copied the action, running his fingers through Mike’s hair after him. He leaned in close to Mike to admire the timid curls trying to form along Mike’s ears. The very end of the curl tucked up and under Mike’s ear, resting on his cheek. Will nodded along to Mike’s continued ravings, but leaned in and placed a soft kiss just at the end of the curl. Mike’s jaw loosened, nearly going slack– if only for a moment.

“Oh did I tell you about my fucking boss?” Mike started again, jaw tight again.

“No, you didn’t.” Will said softly.

He moved up and placed his lips gently against Mike’s temple. He was on his way to a headache if he didn’t stop screaming and straining himself. Will kissed his temple again before trying to reach across his entire forehead.

“He told me that if I didn’t start putting in even more hours, he was going to start cutting my shifts down. Which doesn’t make any fucking sense! I’m only one person! I have a life, a sleep schedule, a boyfriend!” Mike cried. “I’d like to spend time with him. God knows I’m barely allowed that anymore.” Mike was allowed a secret runaway to Will’s house twice a week thanks to Nancy’s careful, consistent lying. “Everything is falling to fucking shit and all I–”

“Hey, it’s alright.” Will whispered, placing his hands on either side of Mike’s face. He placed a kiss over each of Mike’s furrowed eyebrows.

“What are you doing?” Mike sighed, his face relaxing, but mostly to change into confusion.

“I’m helping.”

“Is that what this is?” Mike said, lifting an eyebrow. “I still have a shitty fucking job and a shitty fucking family and a shitty fucking–”

“Would you shut up for three seconds?” He laughed.

Will pulled Mike’s face up to his own. Mike’s lips were still parted when they kissed, a word resting between them. It froze, the anger behind it dying the minute Will pulled him in. Sure, Mike had more to say and more to be upset about, but Will just wanted him to be quiet for just a moment. He wanted Mike’s mind to sputter and stall into a silence and allow him a reprieve from his own rumbling turmoil. Will never knew if it worked, but Mike at least always seemed to stop yelling afterward.

Mike sighed and blinked quickly as Will pulled away, bringing Will’s face into better focus. “My job sucks.” He said plainly.

“I know. It does.” Will agreed. He kept his hands on Mike’s face and let his thumbs gently brush over his cheeks. “But, you made it through today and now you’re with me.”

“I am. I am with you.” Mike nodded, a smile finally cracking his grimace. “Tell me about your day.”

“Finishing up that drawing for someone’s skateboard deck– one of Max’s friends.” Will said with a laugh. Mike lifted his eyebrows and looked down at the other cushions.

“Where is it? Can I see?”

“No, it’s not finished yet–”

“Oh, come on!”

“It’s not good enough yet!”

“Will, don’t fire me back up!” Mike teased, clenching his jaw. Will giggled and quickly placed another kiss on Mike’s lips. Mike placed his hands on Will’s waist and pulled him across his body. Will fell onto the opposite cushion with his legs stretched out over Mike’s lap, feet resting on his sketchpad.

“Not sure I like this angry side of you.” Will said with a quiet laugh.

“May I?” Mike’s hand grabbed Will’s foot by a toe and hovered before lifting it and grabbing the book.

“If you must.” Will waved toward the book with permission. “They wanted a Dessert Wasteland theme.”

“Clever.” Mike said, turning the book around before trying to find the right angle by craning his neck. “It’s good, Will. Really good.”

“Thank you.” Will said. There was still a certain tension in Mike’s voice, but Will wasn’t sure how much of that he could make go away with soft spoken words and kissing. He moved forward to sit on Mike’s lap, able to rest his head on his shoulder. Mike was looking at it upside down. “This way, Michael.”

“Oh.” He said, quickly flipping the book. “Still looks good– although now all these waves make sense. A-Are they waves? What is that?”

“Melted ice cream.” Will said, tracing the lines back to the vase-shaped glass sundae boat framing the corner design.

“Melted? What made you do that?” Mike said, furrowing his eyebrows again.

“Well, you see,” Will said, taking the book from Mike’s hands slowly. “I know this hothead that works at the Scoops Ahoy–” Mike sighed and let his head fall back again. Will giggled and threw his pad onto the coffee table. “I’m sorry. It was funnier to me.”

“Gotta kick me while I’m down, huh?” Mike said, sighing dramatically.

“Oh come on.” Will said, trying to pull on Mike’s collar and get him to level his head again. “Kiss to make it better?”

ao3

[scottymcgeesterwrites]

What AIM meant to me

It’s 6:44 AM right now and I just CANNOT go back to sleep.

It’s very rare that I can’t sleep because I typically sleep like a log. It’s only when things are on my mind that I cannot sleep.

This is going to sound pathetic but what makes me restless is the recent news that AOL Instant Messenger, affectionately known as AIM, is going to discontinue for good this December 15.

I officially stopped using AIM around 2009, my sophomore year of college. The only times I really used it after that was to contact my mom, who was/is one of those mothers who still thinks AOL is the only way to log onto the Internet. I used to log some AIM conversations automatically. Thinking about AIM’s coming end, I went back to my archive and went through a whirlwind of emotions. I even found a download of AIM to reinstall it and look at all the old screennames.

Unfortunately, of course, I don’t have EVERYTHING. I had hoped to find some ancient conversations from middle school but I didn’t start logging conversations that far. I did have a previous username because way back then my first crush blocked my dumb awkward ass, so I tried to get around it by creating another screen name. I always tried to get friends to talk to her to see what she thought of me, instead of actually talking to her myself. Unfortunately, AIM’s password recovery system doesn’t seem to be working anymore, at least, not for me.

AIM was special for all of us. For me, I met so many people. When I was awkward in school, I found many friends online. We created many chatrooms and started many projects. It was fertile ground for sharing imagination. I “borrowed” many screennames I thought were cool and used them in my stories. I always asked first of course if it was okay for me to totally rip their screenname for a character in a story; they didn’t care.

I met my ex on an AIM chatroom way back in the middle of high school. I have a friend who recently changed his name to Kay. We always had crazy ideas and philosophized about the meaning and nature of life.

I had this idea that I dubbed “The Social Engineering Project.”

The idea was to create this one chatroom and see how many connections you can make . You invited a friend and told them to invite one other friend, who in turn invited one other friend too.

The result was a massive chatroom of (very confused) people. I met my ex on there for the first time. I put her screenname aside and messaged her, “Hey. It’s crazy in there, ain’t it?”

It’s funny thinking back to the origin story of your friends. Friends you met online and chatted with only to never see them again. Friends you still talk to. Friends who became really close friends whom you still hang out with.

Like all memories of exes, mine is full of regret. I haven’t yet talked about my ex in this new writing blog. To make a long story short - I obsessed over this girl. I would obsess over her for the next 4 years - from the end of sophomore year of high school to the end of sophomore year of college.

The situation was very complicated, but I’ll keep it brief. Someone raped my ex when I first met her. I was there for her, consoled her. In time, we fell in love. My mother somehow checked my computer, went through my AIM logs, and wanted me to stop talking to her. She and dad believed that she was bad news - that she got herself raped, that she whored herself out.

So for the next 5 something years, I battled my parents. With the aide of some friends, I’d try to see my ex again and again - all fruitless attempts like Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner. I’d get grounded countless times, to the point where I had my computer taken away, then my Internet. I once jumped out of my second-story window to use my next-door neighbor’s wi-fi. I literally sat next to his house with my laptop without him knowing at around 3 AM. I was obsessed with the idea of being my ex’s knight in shining armor. Whenever she needed something, I was there. She was torn between two countries and eventually chose the one further away, and she moved on with other guys, but I still pursued her wanting to prove my worth. I felt many negative emotions those years. Resentment at my parents. Confusion over my ex’s behavior. Anger at my ex’s rapist - to the point where I stalked him and stood in his backyard ready to beat the shit out of him. Frustration at the housing crisis and the government. Overall - I felt cheated. I developed trauma that still hasn’t fully resolved. I still live with my parents and I hesitate every time I bring up my current girlfriend and wanting to hang out with her. My heart races because I recall the screeching arguments we had over my ex and the turmoil that spread for so many years in the household.

This whole experience fucked me up - as you can imagine. As I relived these memories on my AIM logs, I once again thought about how I would change things if I redid those first two years of college.

I was such a pompous ass during my first two years of college.

I would relive and redo all four years of college in a heartbeat. Imagine how awesome it would be to know everything and go through it all over again? I could say, “BYE BITCH” and forget about my ex and go out and have crazy sexy fun at parties. I could get straight A’s. I could cash in on the housing crisis months before it happened. I could have filmed so many things.

Currently, I have a YouTube channel called Untitled Independent Film Group. I basically grab my friends to film skits and short films. We don’t have many videos right now - but way back in freshman year of college, I always wrote down film ideas. I wrote so much but filmed so little - at least not until junior year of college. I was such an ass my first two years. I thought little of people who drank and partied hard, mostly because my ex’s rapist did what he did at one of those parties. My impression of people who partied was, “You’re all goddamn sick and you’re all goddamn rapists.” I put myself on a high horse and wanted to hunt down frat bros and beat the shit out of them. I wish I had let go of all the anger the second I stepped into my freshman dorm for the first time. All of that distracted me from starting my dreams early on, from filming, and it wasn’t until much later, right now, when the party is over that I seriously returned to filming. Now it’s much different. I can’t just walk over to someone’s dorm and say, “Hey, let’s film this.” I have to text or call and wait for a response. We have to schedule. Then we forget about it and wait for months until I remember to bring it up again. We then film it and it takes longer than I planned and then afterwards we are tired and go home.

I still have energy in me ready to burst as if I were a college student. I often find it suppressed. I often find myself in a room of friends who are ready to go to bed at around 11 PM or 12 AM. Meanwhile I’m itching with energy like, “Hey guys, let’s play Kings. We haven’t played that in a long time. Or let’s play this or that or the other thing.” Adult life sucks for me not because I lack the energy but because everyone else seems to. I still have a quarter of a college student in me that never fully came out. That seems to be how it worked. I guess that’s why Miley Cyrus is the way she is right now. She said something once about how she used to be an angel but now she’s living through all the suppressed craziness she would have let out back then. I think I’m a male Miley Cyrus is what I’m trying to say.

In a way, I’ve experienced life in reverse. I used to be super serious and much more nobler. I read back through these AIM logs and can’t believe I was such a pompous asshole. I had such a strict view on life. Now I’m just a fuck-up.

The thought of going back is fun at first, like playing a video game the second time around only this time you’ve unlocked many secrets and know many different paths.

But experiences are fucked up. You think about how you could have changed them but then if they didn’t happen, the positive things going on right now would have most likely never happened. I wrote a fantasy story that came out of my experiences with my ex. Everyone loved it. Where would that story be if I had let her go earlier on? Probably nonexistent. Heck, my feelings now about regrets in college drive some of my current stories. What would I have to inspire myself with if I didn’t have those regrets?

My stories have a recurring theme - they all warn the readers not to be stupid. Don’t dawdle with people who don’t appreciate you. Don’t waste your time. Take a chance. Don’t act high and mighty. Don’t stick around a place you hate for so long. What are you doing there? MOVE!

In the beginning of college, I was practically convinced that I would run away before graduating and “walk the Earth” and save the day. It was a big debate and source of conflict among my Internet friends, in forums and chats. The older kids would always say, “DON’T. You idiot. You have no idea how important a college education is.” Other said, “Go ahead. Bohemian life all the way.”

Now here I am. I’ve been at the same job for the past 5 years. Oh yeah. Saving the day all right. Saving it so hard.

I tried to bring back the whole “saving the day” shit after I graduated college. Nobody took the bait. It wasn’t like high school or college where you could rally people and say, “FUCK THE SYSTEM.” I created a secret forum once dedicated to sticking it to the man. It’s gone now - all because of some petty drama between two founding members. We had like a secret password and everything in order to enter the forum.

They always warn you not to dawdle on the past because it wastes time. I find it encourages it. Right now, I’m brimming with energy. It’s strange too because I’m excited but also very sad. The second I finish writing this I’ll write EVERYTHING that comes to mind and finish AS MANY of my stories as I can. Who cares if they suck right now? Just write. For God’s sake, man. Write away, right away. You never know when you’ll die. Your words will be lost and forgotten - or worse, you would never get to say what you want to say. I always get like this when I dwell on the past. HURRAH - act now! Push back! And then it dies down because nobody else is as enthused as I am. Take it from me - the hardest thing about being a leader is getting people motivated. You have to make them believe they can do it. Forget it if they actually can or can’t - make them believe. How can I make the enthusiasm last in me when nobody else carries it on?

Of course - I have to apply that belief to myself too.

What can I do now? Hm. Well, there’s Discord - growing in popularity and better than Skype. Yes. I can see it now - a new age is coming. I’ll start something new! Another Social Engineering Project! Another age of Internet friends to stick it to the man!

Thank you, AIM. You were the conduit of many things - all the school drama and all the late-night conversations with good friends. Without you, online chatting wouldn’t have been where it is now.