#his look in the library scene? SALIVATING

[bobfloydsbabe]

Salem's Lot was a fine movie. I wish they'd spent more time developing the characters and their relationships with each other, especially Ben's relationship with Matt and Susie. Like, Matt's death didn't feel that impactful because we knew next to nothing about him and didn't get a proper feeling for what his relationship with Ben was like. Same thing with Susie. The emotional oomph just wasn't there, and when the characters died, I felt nothing. There was potential, but the movie didn't follow through on it. It's a shame, really.

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR Rambles 10 fingers in the aaaaa-

I don't let up on the fucking Vidow. The entire fandom has to just cope with the fact I'm a disastrous weirdo stinking up their perfect pure fandom, they cry themselves to sleep at the cryptid that stalks at the edges their fandom.

Weep you disgusting filthy bastards.

I bet you salivate at the idea of Vio's breast milk in your slutty coffee.

Lol I guess he fell asleep reading.

Shadow makes a very sinister face considering the goofy ass thing he decides to do with the sleeping Vio.

Hah. Vio screaming his lungs out got a kick out of me while drawing.

Shadow forgot Hylian's sleep for a reason.

He's just waiting for Vio to call him a moron, which we know again is because of Vaati and Gannon abusing this poor man.

Shadow's utterly shocked Vio doesn't have a single thing to berate him over hah.

Vio's so tired he just wants to sleep.

Shadow's feeling nervous to actually like, get cozy with Vio in this context.

Despite his seeming confidence the dude is insecure.

He is HESITANT to trust Vio to some degree, he's having second thoughts about his actions.

Vio didn't even SAY anything about the kiss lmfao. I'd be worried too.

This page is so sad to me.

Vio's feeling some regret while Shadow gets comfortable next to him.

HAHAHAHA.

Transition from being next to someone to being completely alone agh-

Shadow Link is in MISSERY-

Oof. Shit hurts.

The sword blast compiled with his emotional pain is just too much for this dude to handle rn.

Reflecting on his time with his "friend"

Guess that kiss in the library wasn't the last one...Vio seems reluctant to keep going back for more, pushing shadow off. We can assume why he shouldn't be doing that oops.

Shadow's not satisfied with that though and keeps giving our man kisses. Vio's really shitty attempts to bat him away aren't working.

It's safe to say: Vio lost the plot at some point.

It's obvious they're drunk as fuck, but the exact timing of this scene is up for interpretation as far as I'm concerned.

I do find it funny Shadow whines Vio is "So mean to him" just cause he won't let him shower him with kisses lmfao. Like Shadow he's about to do smth to you that's way meaner let's be real-

Shadow Link brings up the all to important LORE of the golden goddesses.

Okay but everything about this becomes ironic later lmfao I will not say how.

Cause the Triforce is like, non existent in FS I can do whatever the hell I want sooo I'mma cook. I like where I took it a lot.

Shadow's desires to touch the Triforce are uh...VERY EXPLAINED LATER to say the least.

Art wise in this page: Oh it was so fun.

1st panel: Shadow continuing to kiss Vio's cheeks as he talks. It's sweet in it's own weird way that he clearly cares about Vio a lot

2nd panel: Obviously comparing Vio with a goddess and the Triforce shows how much Shadow values this man in his life, cupping his cheeks while doing so.

3rd panel: They both just look cute. XD

4rth panel: Vio's visibly hesitant to return the kiss that time. and in the last panel we don't see his face, but rather get Shadow hugging him deeply.

Vio's still grappling with his actions are gonna catch up to both of them pretty soon.

Vio's utter heartlessness in the words he spoke to Shadow in the Fire temple must have HURT.

Shadow knows that he bold faced lied to everyone in that room.

Also to note: They CLEARLY spent some TIME together, as there's the scene of Vio and Shadow laughing together on some grass somewhere...

Shadow KNOWS Vio at least a little and he can't comprehend why he acted the way he did.

The last panel was so much fun I love how it turned out.

Okay but like: THIS LTIERALLY ALWAYS BOTHERED ME.

The idea Shadow betrayed Vaati being a fault of SHADOW'S character is such bullshit which just adds to the "Vio pulled this out of his ass" nature of his speech.

In every way: SHADOW BETRAYING VAATI IS A GOOD THING.

In WHAT WORLD is him turning his back on the EVIL GUY a bad thing???

His motives were 100% selfish but HOLY BALLS HE WAS WILLING TO GO NUCULAR ON GANON AND VATTI AND SAVE ZELDA FOR SOME VIUSSY. THAT'S DEDICATION.

Also, literally everyone's motivations for everything they do is selfish in nature, so the idea Shadow's the dick here is just, hysterical.

Vio was 100% projecting his own insecurities onto Shadow not trusting and being apart of his own team cause Vio's awful, cause let's be real: their situations are just NOT COMPARABLE.

Shadow's misstep no matter how you look at it, was trusting VIO. NOT betraying Vaati. HIS LITERAL POSITIVE CHARACTER ARC WAS STILL BETRAYING VAATI BY SHATTERING THE DARK MIRROR.

...SO WTF IS VIO'S SPEECH ABOUT EXACTLY??? IT LITERALLY MAKES NO SENSE PROBEBLY BECAUSE HE'S LYING HIS ASS OFF AND PROJECTING LMFAO.

Because his point wasn't "Find a team you CAN and DO trust and work with them." it was "You betrayed Vaati and you suck for that."

IT WAS PURE PROJECTION.

Idk if this is a translation oopsie or what. It was never brought UP so idk if it was even intentional or a genuine attempt at a moral going to shit and getting botched. X'DDDD (If it was intentional, that's funny but it was never expanded upon in any meaningful way so...IDK)

It gives weird as fuck mixed messages about what Shadow was MEANT to do here and what he ACTUALLY did wrong from Vio's chastising. Cause the reason Vio gives for his downfall is REALLY BULLSHIT. (In FSR, Intentionally so.)

Because

"Your downfall was that you were selfish and still wanted to rule the world and were willing to use used people like me and Zelda to do it, you just repeated the mistakes of Vaati" or smth would even be more accurate.

STILL HYPOCRITCAL ON VIO'S END CAUSE HE USED SHADOW BUT WOULD MAKE MORE FUCKING SENSE.

Giving massive rebound AU vibes here lmfao.

Audience is intentionally left in the dark about wtf Vio and Green were talking about...For no reason I'm sure. Authors don't think that hard about stuff-

Also left out on why they're sharing a bed. Bet that will NEVER get touched on. In ANY meaningful way.

The point of this scene is pretty obvious: Vio IS getting along with his team now. Which mega hurts Shadow to see ouch.

It's the equivalent of that Squidward meme of him in his house while Spongebob and Patrick run outside-

Green essentially has taken his place. Pain. We all know nothing but PAIN.

Shadow can't bare to watch Vio thrive without him cause he's selfish as fuck. X'D Just hurts too much. He wanted Vio to fill the gaps in his life and it just DIDN'T happen.

Haha you read the manga you recognize this. I don't gotta elaborate much.

I always just, am in love with Shadow turning into VIO of all people during this part in the story because, holy BALLS I can't even really describe the kind of itch that scratches in my brain but I will try.

So in FS, we KNOW Shadow can shapeshift into ANY of the Links, but he chose Vio. Dude has been Green/Link before so...WHY NOT GREEN? Uh simple: Bro adores Vio and looks up to him, that's the reasoning I came to anyway, as explained in these pages.

This is why in FSR in the library Shadow Link specifically describes Vio as "his hero". Vio's the one out of the four he looks up to most, because after reflecting Vio is the one that did the most "Heroic" things in his eyes.

He realized the betrayal wasn't out of malice or to hurt him, but to save Zelda.

The reasons Vio gives in the library for why he's utterly awful as a person are the same things that made Shadow respect his ass for what he put himself through lmfao.

This is also why in FSR dude isn't MAD at Vio for it anymore. He just wants to repair what they DID have there between them because bro adores Vio.

So if yall didn't know Shadow uses the mirror to see Vio.

Like, you can see him in the shattered mirror lmfao.

At least I THINK it's meant to be Vio. When I first read the manga I thought it was Shadow Link. XDDDD But now I'm fairly certain it is Vio. If we ever get a full color manga I'd love to know who it's actually meant to be.

Shadow's sad he won't know if Zelda's okay. Which is sad. And wishes he could see Vio, which is why the mirror SHOWS Vio. Lol.

Sad pathetic Vaati being hilarious aside, Vio being so distraught he drops his sword is kinda funny. And here's the retcon of "Vaati didn't die actually.

I already went on the rant in the actual thing that YES Shadow's death still meant smth despite Vaati living, because they wouldn't be able to beat Gannon without the gems Vaati gave up from this, so I won't repeat myself here.

Blue's "HOLD UR HORSES BITCH" is so funny to me because like, he HAS no emotional attachment to Shadow and the last they saw of HIM was him ya know, trying to kills their friend lmfao.

Vio pulling a very dying Shadow into his arms, because we deserved that. Green picks up Vio's sword cause he's cool like that.

Vio is OBVIOUSLY trying very hard to keep it together here, kept the dialogue MOSTLY the same from the OG because the dialogue wasn't the issue to me it was the freaking SHOT LAYOUTS AND THE ART. The art was well drawn but the actual like, things happening were kinda silly imo.

I particularly like the return of the "Shadow pets Vio's face/hair" motif.

It pops up in page 40

and page 77

And in terms of flashbacks in 169 Yes haha funny number He strokes Vio's cheek before going in for the kiss.

And many others but I'll avoid too many cause of image limits.

Shadow usually does this when Vio's upset which is funny. We know Shadow does stuff to others he wishes people did for him so maybe Shadow just wants his cheek stroked and to be told nice things lmfao.

Another thing: I mentioned it before but I don't really like when people make Vio cry too easily. Just not for me.

But Shadow dying makes sense for him to cry. Especially in FSR where we saw WAAAAY MORE of their relationship and how involved Vio really was with Shadow.

Vio, reluctantly did really like Shadow Link and is heart broken he is dead.

*I SUPER wanna show/talk about the "After they think they killed him in the fire temple" but there's a reason I did not show wtf Green and Vio were talking about when Shadow saw them in the dark mirror hehehehe. Vio's perspective on RIGHT after they blasted him with the sword is smth you can just speculate on for now.

He is obviously DISTRAUGHT Shadow is dying now.

So, its' implied Shadow saw some of the things Link was up to before he made himself known. So in my silly FSR comic he could see through Link's Shadow at what he was doing.

Art details:

Red crying at somebody dying just made sense to me it was actually WEIRD to me he didn't cry Shadow died. Not because he's emotionally attached, but dude's just an emotional person he cried at less hah.

Green STEPS UP and says his lines from the manga

I said in the OG post of the comic my thoughts on these particular panels but like

Green having just a TIIIIINY bit more agency in him holding Shadow's hand, a VERY simple gesture makes all the difference to me in this scene.

Shadow reasonably asks what we were ALL thinking: WHAT ABOUT ZELDA?!

Which OUCH, he didn't feel like he did enough-

To which Green comforts him they WILL save her.

I may ship Vidow to hell and back but Shadow's caring for Zelda and her affect on him is not ignored in this comic lmfao.

It's actually knowing Zelda's in safe hands that makes him comfortable enough to truly pass.

He knows Vio will be okay as he has his team but Zelda is someone he couldn't be sure about.

So panel 1

I just wanted to add the true level of "Yeah he dead".

Despite his hand passing through Shadow Link, Vio still tries to reach out to him. Which hehe reflects a scene from the very start of this comic huh?

He has unfinished business around Shadow.

He never got to truly say he was sorry.

If you've noticed, Vio STILL hasn't apologized yet.

Okay thumbnailing this scene genuinely gave me the big sad lmfao.

He missed him by a hair, Shadow's gone and Vio couldn't say all the things that were on his mind.

And since you totally asked:

Page 12 is put into a new perspective huh?

He reached him this time...

Green continues to be the goodest of good boys comforting his team mate.

There's an underlying sense of Green knowing more about Vio and Shadow's relationship than the other two...Which makes sense considering Green's the one Vio went to for comfort over the situation.

So some of the dialogue around Shadow's "good boy" status was changed because I just, straight disagree with some of the wording in the manga...

He did AWFUL things but he wasn't exactly a 100% bad person. Ironically, given a chance he could have been a great person. (The opposite of what he tried to do to Vio.)

His nature of being Link's Shadow, the HERO's shadow being on full display with his final moments (Or, what COULD have been his final moments...)

Blue's shocked Shadow would do anything to help them, reasonably so. His experiences with Shadow have been:

He tried to seduce their team mate to the dark side, almost KILLED said team mate, put them through hell and back and generally was awful to them.

Red sympathizes with BLUE (At least somewhat) so I imagine he's a lot more forgiving from this angle to Shadow. XD

Green's feelings about Shadow are a bit more OPEN to interpretation here but he did make an effort for the man to die without regrets. Later in FSR he seems to have a positive outlook on Shadow so whatever Vio told him might have made him more comfortable with him in these moments and the future.

I'mma cut it off here, which sucks because this transition is PERFECT into the next scene but I don't wanna hit image limits halfway through a rant.

Green continues to be a chad. What's new.

Him being in front of his team protectively is just...Yum. I love protective Green. XD

GANNON APEARS. Big piggy boy. I had no idea I could draw pig before drawing this and I'm happy with how he turned out.

His rant in the OG manga of speaking how Vaati and Shadow Link failed him leads directly into the next scene which was, delicious. But we'll pick this up later.

I'm sure you've noticed: As a time saving technique I only use shading when it SUPER matters in FSR. It helps save time and makes them have huge impacts. XD

The intense dark shading on Ganon makes him look threatening as HELL compared to what he'd look like without it.

For reference: This is what he'd look like without it.

He looks silly. XD

His color palette was based on the game btw. Because, what else did I have to go on? The intense shading also hides that he looks kinda out of place color wise haha.

[missmage52]

Excerpt from “Dreaming of a Liar: Kokichi Ouma x Reader” (slight NSFW)

I’ve been writing a fanfiction on wattpad, and this is an excerpt from chapter four that I’m proud of. It’s a Kokichi Ouma x Reader (female). 

Basically Monokuma has gone to the good side and brings all the Danganronpa Characters (from the main three games plus Komaru, excluding Twogami and seperating Hajime Hinata and Izuru Kamakura into seperate entities) and puts them all in one class, but doesn’t hold a killing game for once! 

But in order to have a perfect 50 student total, he needs one more student. So he takes a person from the real world and brings them into the class to learn alongside the students! But it’s while your sleeping, so when you meet an interesting supreme leader, is it really reality, or just a dream?

There’s a specific scene that gets a little NSFW, I’ll give you a heads up when it comes.

I also tried my best to make Kokichi canon as possible, so let me know if I did a good job or if I didn’t.

So, enjoy!

*^*^*^*^*

I followed this Alter Ego hologram along with the rest of the students, as we were instructed to by Monokuma. Of course the one who didn't leave my side was Kokichi.

"Sooooo," Kokichi put his hands behind his head as he walked, which I imagined couldn't be too comfortable. "You mentioned back there that you've never been in a killing game. Like, ever. Is that true?"

"Well, most kids my age aren't put in a killing game," I shrugged. "Can't help but feel bad for the others, though."

"Actually, it's not that bad," Kokichi said matter-of-factly. "Well, for me at least. Nishishi~!"

I rolled my (E/C) eyes. "Oh come on," I scoffed. "There had to be some point where you were scared shitless."

"Scared shitless about what, exactly?"

I stared at Kokichi, dumbfounded. How could he act like being in a killing game wasn't a big deal?! A person would have to be a complete sociopath to act so nonchalant about something so serious and terrifying! I paused, clearing my throat to regain my composure. "W-Well, I don't know, dying?"

Kokichi snickered. "Pfft! Come on, really? Dying? Gee, you are a hoot!" He

"I'm serious!" I remarked, bewildered. "Almost every human being is afraid of what lies beyond death! It's the greatest mystery known to man-!"

He put a finger to my lips. "Notice how you said almost every human being. I am not like most humans, heck, I might not even be human, you never know," He smirked, the glint in his amethyst eyes filled with mischief. "Besides, I was a victim. I said so in my introduction earlier. Squished to death. I already know what lies beyond the grave, Ms. (Y/N), believe me." He hissed into my ear, making me shiver.

"R-Really?" I stuttered, now a bit uneasy. "Is that s-so..."

"Yep!" His attitude perked right back up. "After all, I was revived. Heck, I could even tell you all about it if you wanted, though it's gonna cost you an arm and a leg!"

"But you didn't know what death was like before you died, Kokichi," I glanced up at him, staring into his eyes. "You don't seem like the type of person who is always fearless. In fact, it seems you hide many fears, including death itself," This time, it was my turn to smirk. "Though I'm not one to assume."

Kokichi's face turned pink, sweat starting to roll down his face. He glanced down at the floor, not meeting my gaze. "Well, I never expected something like that to come out of you..." His voice trailed off. "You're certainly something, aren't you?"

"Same goes for you," I responded. He blinkd at me. "You have some good acting skills, but then again, I can't expect anything less from a liar."

"Wooow, you caught on that quickly?" He started to pout, his expression changing like a remote changing the TV channel. "Bummer, I thought I could mess with you for a bit. You aren't so bad yourself, with acting. Kinda caught me a little off-guard there. You suurree you're just a transfer student?"

"I'm sure," I insisted. "I'm not really good at anything specific, skill or anything like that."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire~!" He singed. "You're good at acting, so just take the damn compliment!"

"If you say so..." I whistled shifting my attention to Alter Ego, who stopped at a doorway.

"Right now, we are in the main building on campus. This is where you gather for meals, classes, and special events that take place in the school. Most of the classrooms are unoccupied, so that gives many students a chance to start clubs and hold small get-togethers," The hologram started to elaborate. "Where we just gathered is the gymnasium, which is where most school-wide events and gym classes take place. Right down the hall is the stairwell up to the third floor, which is where most of you came from in pairs of two or three. We have around thirty empty classrooms here."

"Across from the gymnasium is the cafeteria, which will open it's doors along with the gym at seven am. It will close at ten pm. On weekends, it will be closed, and students can only ask permission to use it from the principal and or faculty. From the cafeteria, you can access the kitchen, pantry, and walk-in fridge, but only after three pm to ten pm. Breakfast and lunch will be prepared by the MonoLadies, but dinner must be prepared by the students. The kitchen staff also has access to the greenhouse using a second stairwell located in the kitchen."

As we entered the cafeteria, I couldn't help but marvel at the amount of tables were set up. And just a simple glance at the lunch line made my mouth start to salivate at the thought of so much food.

"Now, right outside the cafeteria are you lockers, which you will store your belongs temporarily. You are allowed to decorate the inside of your lockers however you please, but all personal items must be removed from them before the end of the day. Your monopad serves as your combination and lock. Your monopad will unlock your corresponding locker. Other students can leave you messages, and you can even post reminders and other messages."

I took out my monopad and hit the tab that was labeled Locker. It showed me a map of where it was located, which was the farthest away from the cafeteria door. Easy to remember, but the worst access to food. It had an inbox, which read zero messages, and a calender with bullitins to add on. As other students went to find and test out their new lockers, I went up to mine. As soon as I approached it and held the monopad up to where the lock should be, there was a click and I was able to swing the door right open.

There was shelves to put books and other supplies, hooks to hang up bags and coats, and on the back of the door a digital calender. "Sweet." I remarked.

"I wonder if you can play games on this thing..." The girl who introduced herself as Chiaki said earlier. I glanced over at the locker besides me, and it seems she was my locker neighbor. "Probably not..."

"That would be pretty cool, though." I admitted, grabbing her attention. She gave me a small smile, and I returned the kind gesture.

"If you'll follow me, please," Alter Ego gathered up the students once more. "To the right of the lockers is where you'll find the Fitness Center, where there is multiple work out machines. It's doors open at six am, but you can only access it before seven with a pass from the principal or faculty. It closes at nine pm. Right across from there is where the bathrooms and locker rooms are, as well as the second entrance to the gymnasium. The lockerooms and bathrooms can only be accessed using your monopad, to make sure you aren't going into the wrong one. To the other gender, it is locked. They open at six am and close at ten pm. Like the fitness center, you can only access the lockerooms if you have a pass administered by the principal or faculty."

"Do we have lockers in there like the ones we have at the entrance?" A boy by the name of Kazuichi asked.

"Yes, indeed," Alter Ego responded. "Now, follow me up to the second floor."

We followed Alter Ego back around near the gym entrance and up the set of stairs at the end of the hallway. And the strangest design was that to our right was the greenhouse. The entire wall was glass looking in. The greenhouse was filled with all sorts of plants, flowers, harvestables, you name it. There was even a picnic table in there. "To our right is the greenhouse, which is where we grow our food and many other flora. Students are also allowed to eat and spend time in there, but only with permission from the faculty. Unless students are part of our gardening club, which will open up soon."

I pondered the thought of spending time with Kokichi in the greenhouse. It would be a nice place, but there would be too much stimulation for our noses in there. I didn't know if Kokichi had a flower allergy or not. So the greenhouse was off the list.

Alter Ego lead us down the hallway to a more open space with couches and nice places to sit, with a big entrance labeled Library straight ahead. "This is an area where students can study and interact with each other with a more greater volume," The hologramed A.I. explained. "And down the hall to your right is the multimedia center, where there is printers and computers and other technology. I will give you a few minutes to explore these two areas before we re-group."

I instantly went inside the library. That was my go-to. Growing up with my brother, since we never really had much form of entertainment, would go to the library and read all sorts of books together. Some of my favorite authors were J. K. Rowling, Lemony Snicket, and Stephen King. There were dozens upon dozens of shelves towering above me. There were long tables with reading lamps, a cozy fireplace with large plush-looking armchairs and loveseats. To top it off, one of the walls were completely glass, letting natural light into the room, casting a heavenly glow onto the books. I couldn't stop myself from gawking.

"Wow, you a bookworm or something?" Kokichi came up from behind me. "You seem a little out of it..."

"I read plenty of books when growing up, so I'm practically in heaven," I breathed. I turned to Kokichi, which by the look of his expression was amused by me nerding-out. "This would be the perfect place to hang out!"

"I dunno, libraries kinda make me uneasy..." His voice trailed off. "Ever since Rantaro died in one, they kinda just are sorta creepy to me nowadays..."

I frowned, realizing I was making him uncomfortable. "Oh, I'm sorry Kokichi, I didn't mean-"

"Juuuust kidding~!" He winked. "Libraries just aren't my style, y'know?"

"Liar..." I mumbled.

"That's what I am!" Kokichi beamed with pride. He then grabbed my wrist. "C'mon, let's go check out the multimedia center!" He then started running, dragging me along with him, out of the library and down the hall, where a handful of other students were.

When we entered, the first thing I made note of was the amount of computers there were. Plenty of them, all lined up in five rows of eight. Along the windows were tables with 3D printers and regular printers set up. At the front of the room was a big screen, which I assumed was gonna be used for displaying videos and power points.

"Not gonna lie, I thought it would be more exciting," Kokichi heaved a sigh of disapointment. "All the nerds here must be over the moon, though."

"I think it's a bit over-the-top for a high school computer room," I whistled. "I'm kinda impressed that they have so many resources here. But then again, it's a school for gifted teenagers..."

"When are we gonna go to the next area?" Kokichi examined his hand in what I assumed out of boredom.

"I don't know," I shrugged, longing to explore the library more. "I'm gonna go back to the library." I told Kokichi as I started to make my way back to the room filled with books.

"Well wait for me, idiot." Kokichi sped up so he could besides me.

"I thought libraries weren't your style," I raised an eyebrow at him. "Or was that another lie?"

"Well, you never know if there's a secret room in the library," Kokichi flashed me a mischeivious smile. "Or better yet something even cooler!"

"You make a good point there, Kokichi." I nodded in his direction as I continued my way through the library doors.

(At this point it becomes a bit NSFW)

As I scanned the shelves in the different sections, Kokichi dawdled behind. It was kinda weird, though. He was just staring behind me, as if he was scanning me up and down. Not really observing, but something else...

"What'cha doing back there, Kokichi?" I looked back at him. He was leaning against a shelf, just staring at me."

"Nothing much," He shrugged, smirking. "Just enjoying the view, that's all~..."

I blinked, furrowing my brow. "Of what, exactly?"

"Whaaaaattttt~? You seriously don't know...?" Kokichi came up to me and backed me up into another shelf. He propped his hand against it, leaning into me. "...I'm looking at a snack~..." His voice became low and husky.

I stared at him. "I don't have food on me, Kokichi," I told him. I then paused in consideration. "I would like to have some, though. If I did I would share it with you, if that's what your essentially asking me."

"Nishishi~!" He chuckled. "Oh no, you are sorely mistaken! It's all over you..."

(Becomes SFW once again)

"Do I got a mustard stain on my shirt or something?"

"Kokichi, stop it!!" A voice then came from down the aisle. I turned my head to see the blonde girl that was next to me during everyone's introductions and a guy with cyan-colored hair and thick lower eyelashes. The command came from the male, who was pointing right at Kokichi.

"Shuichi!!" Kokichi seemed to bounce right back at the sight of the cyan-haired male and charged right at him, arms outstretched to give him a hug. The guy then froze up, and was tackled to the ground by Kokichi. "I missed you sooooooo much!!"

"K-Kokichi, get off of me!!" The guy stuttered, struggling to get the smaller male off of him.

The blonde girl came up to me, her eyes filled with concern. "Are you okay? It looked like Kokichi had you pinned against the shelf, there." She asked, pointing to the shelf.

"I'm good- Ah, Katie, was it?" I scrunched up my face trying to remember the girl's name."

"Kaede," The girl corrected me with a bright smile. "Kaede Akamatsu."

"Right, sorry," I quickly apologized. "Yeah, I'm perfectly fine, thanks for asking," I turned my attention towards Kokichi, who was straddling the poor guy at this point. "Uh, Kokichi, I think you should get off him now."

"Awwwww..." He whined, pouting. "Okay, then!" He then jumped right back on his feet, letting the man stand up. Kokichi then skipped back besides me

"Kokichi, what the hell were you doing to this poor girl?!" The guy scolded as he brushed off his black and grey stripped blazer. "I mean, pinning her down, what were you thinking?!"

"Who are you, again?" I pointed at the guy. "Sorry, there was so many introductions I can hardly remember the all."

"Shuichi Saihara," The guy reintroduced himself, giving me a small smile. "Ultimate Detective."

"Nice to meet you, Shuichi," I smiled back. "Same for you, Kaede," I nodded to Kaede. "But uh- no, it's totally fine. He just thought I had food on me and asked for some, it's all good."

"Pffffttthahahahahaha!!" Kokichi doubled over and went out into complete hysteria, clutching his sides and slapping his knees. "Ohmygod you're so stupid!! Hahahahaaaaaa!!" He wheezed.

"How?" I stared down at him in confusion. "You we're looking at me, I asked why, you said you were looking at a snack, I said I didn't have food on me, then you said it was all over me, and then you tackled Shuichi. I don't see why I'm the stupid one here, because you're the one that insisted that I had food on me which I clearly don't." I gestured to my clothes to show the lack of crumbs and stains.

"U-Um, that's- ah..." Shuichi's voice started to crack, him covering his mouth while he looked down at the floor, clearing avoiding my gaze.

"I think what Kokichi was trying to call you was- um..." Kaede's voice trailed off, uneasiness in her voice. "...s-sexually appealing."

"Oh," I blinked, turning my attention back to Kokichi. "Um, thanks for the compliment?"

"I was just messing with 'ya," Kokichi waved it off with a hand, him catching his breath. "I would never think of you like that, let alone perv on 'ya," He reassured me, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "Oh my god, that was priceless!" He sighed.

"For you, that is. It's just confusing for me," I shrugged. "I've never really been the type of gal to think about that kind of stuff, so I don't know sex terms or the meaning of when someone calls another person a snack."

"Then toying with you is gonna be more difficult then I thought," Kokichi started to bite his thumbnail, muttering. Then he quickly put his hands resting on the back his head. "Ah well, I'll figure out something. For now, I gotta make sure that filthy cum dumpster doesn't taint your innocent mind~!"

"I'm not that innocent, I'm aware about sex. I just know little to nothing about it..." My voice trailed off at the end. "Also, what's a cum dumpster?"

"Don't ask." Shuichi shook his head.

"Why that loud filthy pig during the introductions, of course!" Kokichi exclaimed, his tone matter-of-factly. "You must stay away from her at all costs, 'ya hear me? She's an absolute slut that will tell you all the terms about sex, and you're too innocent to be taught those awful things!"

"Your treating me like child," I pointed out. And at this point I felt like one, though Kokichi was only a smidge taller than me. "I'm sixteen years old, I can make my own decisions. And I can remember her name no prob, her introduction was the one that was the most out there. Miu Iruma, Ultimate Inventor."

"It's not very nice to call Miu such vulgar names, Kokichi," Kaede informed the violet-eyed boy. "She probably doesn't enjoy the names you give her, either."

"She probably likes it when she's hooking up with someone," Kokichi shrugged. "So I don't see why I can't call her names."

"I think a more polite way to describe Miu is that she's sexually active," I suggested. "Besides, she seems to be brimming with self confidence."

"Well yeah, same thing..." Kokichi muttered, suddenly gaining some attitude. "And that's not self-confidence, it's narcissism." He quickly added on.

"You can't exactly be one to talk, Kokichi," Shuichi pipped up. "You can be a bit full of yourself sometimes."

"Yeah but not as often as Miu, and I'm leaving it at that." Kokichi folded his arms across his chest, leaving us all in an awkward silence.

*^*^*^*^*

Like what you see and wanna read the whole thing? Link is right here!:

https://www.wattpad.com/story/215117714-dreaming-of-a-liar-kokichi-ouma-x-reader

[lethe-distillery-blog]

The Philanthropist (4)

I met Rosa the next day, I was still surprised that Gage had gone to his meeting in nothing more than jeans and a tee given that he dealt in multimillion-dollar deals as commonplace as a cashier would handle five dollar purchases but I had to admit to myself, the man looked good in his relaxed attire. He looked, content. I'm sure he was content with the life he had back at home too but here, in the middle of nowhere Mexico, he looked it; I'm not sure how I thought it, maybe a glint in his eye, or the relaxed way he leaned over me to show me different sights and scenes. The local school he had helped rebuild last year after a fire ripped apart the old one, the library, the chapel, the small gathering point that constituted as town hall, senior meeting hall, and center for all festivals. It was really a quaint town, dusty roads that baked dry and cracked, a small convenience store that doubled as a gas station and a small restaurant that he swore he'd have to take me to because it sold tacos that were the best in the universe and he would prove it to me. It had been a nice trip, no mind games, no stress, just a content moment where of us being together as Charles drove us.

 Rosa, was a loud, beautifully round woman who I liked immediately though I could only understand about every third word of her English, her skin was a deep caramel though she laughed as we compared shades of skin and I, as usual, looked nearly black. Still though, she was very kind and encouraged me to drink mojitos after I had made the mention I liked them. She was positively magic as she worked at my back. I felt like I was Rice Crispies. My back snapped, crackled, and popped as she worked masterfully with thick fingers on my oiled skin. I couldn't help but groan out in pleasure as she worked, grateful Gage wasn't here, if he felt one-tenth of the pleasure I did, I think I wouldn't have been able to resist the sounds of his own. "Senior Gage brought you?" Rosa had taken to using short sentences and had smiled understandingly as I apologized profusely for not knowing Spanish. I liked the woman and felt horrible for not knowing how to communicate with her properly so she didn't feel like a small child. Still though, there was a gleam in her eye as she spoke, and I had a feeling she liked that she could speak English, a showing off perhaps.

 "Yes." I too tried to speak more simply, and perhaps put a little more emphasis on each word, clearly defining it as it's own standalone feature. "Gage brought me here, I have always wanted to visit."

 "Much strange," I heard her mumble before she cracked my back and made me hiss out in a pleasured pain as I relaxed.

 Oh gosh, that had been aching since I had helped Hannah pull her bike out of our small shed last summer. I practically melted into a puddle, I could see why Gage liked the woman, she was funny, kind, and had a talent like no other when it came to massages. Still though, what she said piqued at my curiosity. "Why," I moaned as she worked out a knot, oh gosh, could I kidnap this woman? "is that strange exactly?"

 Rosa mumbled something in Spanish clearly troubled, arguing with herself over something. "Senior Gage said he come to be alone." Really? I felt odd about that, like I was somehow invading Gage's privacy even though he had invited me to come with him. Rosa shut down after that and wouldn't answer me as I pressed for details. After a few long minutes of fruitless attempts, I changed the topic, but still, I was only half there. Still trying to figure out the strange creature that was my brother-in-law.

 Charles came and picked me up at around one, he smiled knowingly as I limped towards the car and he helped me in. He was rather spry for how old he was. "Don't worry, you'll feel better in an hour or two." I mumbled something that could vaguely be construed as a thank you before he set me in the chair. I felt drunk, and granted, I had drunk a half dozen mojitos but I knew that most of it was from Rosa, My muscles felt like loose rubber bands, barely able to support my own weight. It felt so damn good. Charles graciously helped me onto the sofa and handed me the remote, brought me a glass of water, and left. I assumed he had helped Gage with this many a time. I had asked to lie there with the intent of surfing the channels but before I could stop myself, and before I knew it, the world faded into blissful black oblivion.

 I came awake slowly to the sight of Gage sitting and reading a book at the kitchen table. The domestic feeling was not lost on me and I moved quickly before that thought could take root any further than a brushing of consciousness. Gage set his book down immediately as I stirred and came over with a wry smile. "Rosa get her hands on you?" I groaned as I tried moving, everything felt heavy and impossible. He laughed at my misery. "Yeah, Charles told me he had to help you inside," of course he did, "she does the same thing to me, reduces you to a puddle. Honestly, I just sleep there for a couple hours, it beats trying to move afterward." I couldn't agree more, yet I couldn't even summon the energy to open my mouth. He lifted me gingerly to a sitting position and looked me over, "do you think you can move?" I moved, it took a great deal of effort but he nodded in satisfaction. "Alright."

 Before I even knew what he was doing he picked me up with a startling amount of ease, and with the greatest care, to tuck me against his chest. I melted there, I could lie to myself and say that it was because I couldn't have refused even if I wanted to, that I was too tired, that there was no point in trying. But if I wanted to be honest with my feelings, to examine them closer than I actually wanted to, it was because I didn't want to move, I breathed in the scent of man and spice, a succulent combination of clean masculine power. He must have taken a shower when he got home, the clock read three as we passed it, good. I had only been out a couple hours.

 I was honestly surprised when he set me down on my bed and a trickle of fear flashed down my spine, I looked up at him, mouth open but no words coming out. Gage smiled, the greens of his hazel eyes flashing like emeralds in firelight. "Later." He made it sound like a promise as he kissed my forehead with a tenderness that floored me. So instead, he sat me on the edge of the bed and went over to my suitcase. No, no no no. He opened it up and rooted around. My heart was in my throat, he couldn't find the lingerie, he couldn't. I made a sound to try and stop him but he completely ignored me. Instead, he came back and I was instantly relieved at the sight of the black fabric. Instead of my lingerie in his hand, he had my bathing suit, thank the gods I had considered using the mineral bath tomorrow so I had left it near the top of the bag. "Put this on, and don't worry, I won't watch this time." He winked, and set the scraps of material into my hand before he exited the room. No idea why it mattered to me so much that he hadn't seen the lingerie when he was likely going to get just as much of an eyeful with my bathing suit. Permission and societal ideologies I supposed.

 It took a long few minutes for me to get myself undressed and I was exhausted by that alone, pulling on my bathing suit afterward was a brand new level of hell. I could even get the tie on the back, my arms were so weak they felt like jello, and it was starting to hurt. Tears pricked my eyes, my muscles feeling like they were on fire. I looked up at a soft knock and Gage pushing it open. "Are you decent."

 "Yes." Holy hell, even talking was hard, and my words came out slurred. "I just can't tie the strap at the back."

 "I've got it." He moved in slowly, the fabric was modest enough, not quite a one piece but not as revealing as a bikini. I didn't exactly have to tan and worry about lines. My eyes widened as Gage walked in, wearing his own swim trunks, and nothing else. Granted, I had gotten an eyeful when he had stepped out of the shower but in this moment I got an unobtrusive view of a body that had my wicked fantasies written all over it. Holy, good gracious of Mary and baby Jesus. He was an exquisite specimen of male creation. He was lean muscle, not quite a six pack set of abs but it was exquisite and toned features that drew the eye and captivated the imagination. His dark hair dusted his frame, a perfect softness to the hard muscle beneath. I positively licked him head to toe with my gaze, lost to this, to him. Nothing else mattered as he entered the room. The hormonal surges that drew me to him won out over my common sense and I watched the symphonic flow of movement with every step that brought him closer to me. His skin was a light tan, a rich creamy color that had me salivating for a taste of it beneath my teeth. What made it worse was the feral look he gave me, the tenting in his shorts that soothed a part of me that thought I was alone in this madness. With a long, shaking breath and a strength that awed me; Gage, as the perfect gentleman, came and tied the string behind my back. "Comfortable or do I need to adjust it?"

  His thoughtfulness touched me. Somehow being, sweet. Behind the public image he presented to the world, I had a feeling that Gage Harrison was a very different creature. "It's good." He smiled knowingly as I paused, "Thanks."

 He again lifted me, gentle and tender up against his chest in a bridal carry. I wrapped my arms around his neck with a heroic amount of effort to at least try and be useful, that, and if anyone saw us I didn't want them to think I had passed out or something, that would likely raise a few eyebrows. Gage carried me carefully through the house, resting me on the counter for a heartbeat as he opened the door to the backyard and carried me through into a warm afternoon. Honestly, I felt like a plant, as soon as the sun hit my skin, I felt, human almost. It seeped into my muscles, warming me, strengthening me. But as Gage kept on walking I realized he was heading to the water. I tightened subconsciously. "Sh," he soothed, a hand lightly stroking my back, "It'll help." He sounded so sure of himself that I wanted to trust him, wanted to believe that he knew what he was talking about.

 And he did. I moaned out as he walked us into the water, the buoyancy of the water taking the unbelievable strain off my muscles and making me feel like I could finally take a full breath. Being surrounded by Gage there, it made me feel like I was lost in some fantasy. I felt valued here, cherished, that Gage would take care of me, listen to me, and I was wanting to be selfish and hold onto that, experience this man that gave so very much of himself to me and asked for nothing in return. “Gage?” He looked down at me, his eyes so vivid and bright in the sunlight that they practically glowed like a terrarium within the sockets. “Kiss me,” I knew I was wrong, this, was wrong, but I needed him, I needed this.

 I saw the tortured look flicker across his features, the pain filling his eyes. “Don’t ask me that, when you know you’ll regret it later.” His denial was ice water on my nerves, quelling everything into sodden steaming embers. “When you want it, and you know that it is in fact what you want. What it is you desire, and not what you are craving.” His words came out raspy, like his voice was being dragged over sandpaper as it exited his mouth. “You’ll know where I am.” I looked up at him startled by his words; I did want him, desperately. But I also knew he was right, in this moment, I was caught up in a fantasy, a fairy tale of what could be and not thinking about the reality that was outside of here, in Mexico, part of me screamed that it didn’t matter, that I wanted to feel like a princess just once, the other part, the saner part, knew that Gage was right, that I could grow to hate myself for even taking that much from him in a moment of passion, or worse. I could grow to hate him.

 “Thank you.” It came out as a mumbled whisper.

 “Don’t thank me.” I looked up at him and frowned. His eyes flickered, “I want to kiss you Tessiah, I feel it too, but I don’t want you to regret this, me;” he looked down at me, his arms subconsciously pulling me a little closer. “I don’t want you to hate me too.” That simple plea, touched me, deeply.

 “I couldn’t hate you Gage,” I reached up, feeling more invigorated but still, I didn’t want to move from his arms. It felt too good to be here, Carson had never really doted on me, in the darker moments of my married life, after we had yelled at each other and gone to bed, I had spent many an hour lying awake with silent tears trickling down my cheeks wondering if he even loved me or if he had stayed because of Hannah, and now Jeremy. The guilt was crushing, and I felt tears trying to form but I blinked them back, hoping that Gage didn’t see them. “I don’t think I could.”

 He snorted at me, “You already do. You’ve made that rather clear don’t you think?” Ouch. Warranted, but, ouch. And though I wanted to be angry, to come back swinging with self indignation I realized something, this was hurting him too. His eyes were glassy as I looked into them. “You hate me for my money, for my success. You hate me for what I think of your husband and his family,” again, he didn’t refer to them as his family, his parents. “You hate everything about me, it isn’t hard to see that any time you look at me.”

 “Gage.” I cut him off and pressed my fingers to his lips, his words slicing us both to the core, because it was true. Or rather, it had been; but, I was learning a lot about Gage. “I don’t hate you.” His eyes called me a liar but I pushed on. “Not anymore. I don’t think I ever hated you personally if I’m honest. I hated everything you stood for. Yes, I hated you for your money;” the truth was bitter on my tongue as I admitted that I was nothing better than the rest of his family, whether he claimed them or not. “I felt vindicated because you and I aren’t any different, we had the same choices, the same chances. I’m not saying you got lucky because I know you worked hard to get where you did, and I made choices that got me here. Some good, others not so much. See, I hated you because in my mind, I made you out to be perfect. You are hot, you are an asshole when you need to be, you cut off your family and I’m too soft.” I took a long breath, letting out my thoughts in a rush, feeling like if I didn’t get them out now I was going to shut down and not even look at them because I was afraid of what they could mean. “I judged you on my own predetermined facts about you, I saw what I wanted to see, what Carson, Sarah and Parker wanted me to see. But I don’t know you well enough to judge you Gage, I don’t know what your favorite kind of ice cream is, I don’t know if you snore, I don’t even know your favorite color. So who am I to judge you? And what scared me, what frightens me more than anything. Is I want to know you Gage, you fascinate me, intrigue me in ways that Carson didn’t. He was a bounce-back relationship that ended up becoming permanent.” Gods, it felt so fucking good to finally let that out to someone, anyone. “I convinced myself I loved him, and I don’t regret Hannah and Jeremy. I just,” I sighed defeated, “I guess I wanted more in my life that an ex-football star that can’t move on with his life.” I let out the harsh truth that nearly killed me to admit. The thing I didn’t want to see, and spent years ignoring, but as I was with Gage, and having a normal interaction that didn’t involve talking about bygone glory days, it was crushing me.

 Gage simply pulled me closer to him, pressing me against his warm skin and holding me there for comfort, and like a true gentleman, not saying a word as I sobbed against him. My tears but drops of saltwater returning to the ocean. I felt broken, and yet I felt whole, feeling warm arms around me instead of cold blankets, I felt the surge of the ocean, a gentle to and fro that rocked me like a parent. And I felt the heartbeat, a strong reassuring thud against my cheek. A silent promise, a silent strength.

 I don’t know how long we were there, my letting out six years of pain, shattered dreams, and silent fury out in sobs that felt like they were coming out of my very soul. I wanted to hate Gage for making me feel this pain, for knowing that everything I was doing was wrong. That I likely would be further ahead had I just become a single mother and raised Hannah by myself rather than trying to support Carson and his parents, and two children. I wanted to hate Gage for being so perfectly normal that he showed me what utter shit the people I had chose to surround myself with really were. I wanted to hate him, only because I was terrified that if I couldn’t bring myself to hate him, I would end up loving him.

 After a long while, the tears stopped, but Gage didn’t let go of me, he didn’t abandon me to my heartache and lonely isolation. He stayed there and reached out a proverbial hand and said, ‘it’ll be okay, I’m here now.’ He rocked me with the waves, his lips to my forehead, his hand lightly stroking my back. I huddled into him closer, my weakness making me want to crawl inside him, to feel his strength surround me like the ocean water was now. To feel his power around me, and for once, knowing that I could be weak, and that was alright. I was breathing raggedly, my eyes feeling swollen and puffy but my heart, it had shrugged off the weights of responsibility, it had shattered the shackles of guilt, and now. I felt like I could fly. Gage’s soft words were but a murmur in my ear. “Chocolate, yes, and turquoise.”

[meeshes-on-tour-blog]

Envelope 4

We landed in Peru at about 9am. The flight from Rio was approx 5 hours. Getting off the plane the drop in temperature was very noticeable, about 10 degrees. There was a bit of a mix up regarding our flight time and no one was there to collect us as expected, but it was no issue, and we got an Uber to the hotel. Yes Uber is officially everywhere, and was in Rio too! We switched currency from Rials to Sols, however, the exchange rate was roughly the same, approx 4 Sols to the pound, whereas there were 4.5 Rials to the pound. The boutique hotel we stayed at was very pretty, with pink flowers on vines climbing its walls. It was a colonial Spanish style building that had been disused for 50 years before the current owner bought it. It was decorated in a very eclectic fashion, with lots of paintings, antiques, and interesting objects, such as some old-fashioned copper jelly moulds I saw hung on the walls. It had the feel of a grand old chintzy mansion, with lots of oak wood, velvet, chandeliers, silver, gold, and lots gilt picture frames. We were greeted by the very eccentric owner in suit and tie, who gave us a lot of information about Lima and the hotel in a strong American accent. He looked like an old-fashioned American movie star. He had a thick-set build, with slicked-back wavy dark hair, piercing blue eyes, and high, chiselled cheekbones. He also had the largest gold watch you have ever seen, and it was hard to take your eyes off it as he gesticulated broadly. It looked like it weighed a ton! He had a crew of men working for him who looked like the cast of The Godfather. Jules and I agreed he and his cronies had a distinct mafioso air, and wanted to know more about these mysterious mobsters.

After breakfast at a nearby cafe, I was keen to explore the historical area of the city first, so we got a cab to the famous Convento de San Francisco, or Saint Francis monastery, where over 40 San Franciscan monks still live today. We took a group tour of the monastery including descending into the crypts to see the skeletons and bones of those buried there. It was lovely and cool down there and the tunnels and rooms have survived every earthquake that has affected the area, and have never collapsed, despite parts of the monastery being destroyed. The mortar-like substance holding the bricks together apparently includes crushed eggshells, amongst other things, not something you usually consider as strong! There was the most amazing library which was just like something out of Harry Potter, with winding wooden ladders disappearing into the rafters, and large tomes gathering dust stacked to the ceiling. The books were all religious ones, no longer readable, due to the decay of time. There was absolutely no lingering allowed on the tour, and when I went to the loo, I was as good as lost trying to find the group again. The tour was our kind of tour we agreed, as the tour guide pretty much sprinted around the monastery and we struggled to keep up at times. We joked that Mr Bob Barnes and Mrs Graz Gallagher would have had something to say about the speed of the tour, as they like to be very thorough when they sightsee, and this was more of a McDonald’s Drive-Thru experience.

After buying a few postcards for parents and a small woolly llama for our own collection of objects at home, we did a bit of present buying for friends and family. Inside a little arcade just by the monastery we tried out our haggling skills, but the female vendors were just so nice it made it very hard to be at all hard-nosed, and we gave up and just paid what they asked without any bad feelings. We then moved on to an art gallery where I handed the girl in the cloakroom the underwire of one of my bra cups as we checked our bags in, which had embarrassingly dislodged itself. The funny side of the situation translated well despite neither of us speaking the language of the other, thanks to the universal symbol of The Brassiere. She found it very amusing, as did we! After the museum and looking at some ancient Peruvian artefacts dating back to as long ago as 200 A.D. (!!!), we went in search of the Cathedral of Lima and the Government Palace. Sadly all the roads around these buildings were closed off and armed guards were policing the area. We couldn't work out why. Sadly we therefore only managed to look at these buildings from afar, walking around the edges of the Plaza Mayor or Plaza de Armas. They were vast and impressive buildings though, even from a distance, and the Spanish influence was clear to see. We also enjoyed the colourful buildings, and the flowers and trees lining the boulevards leading to the main square. Local people relaxed on benches, and it was a great spot for people-watching. The lovely thing about Peru is although there are lots of people trying to sell you things, they are all so friendly and gentle, making it a really pleasant experience. You can browse without buying and stop for a chat hassle-free.

After a cultured morning we set off for lunch, salivating at the prospect, having read at length on the plane about Lima as an up and coming, and very worthy, gastronomic destination. It is the home of ceviche, which we were extremely excited about! Lima is reportedly more trendy now than Rio and Buenos Aires, and travellers are stopping by much more frequently, and for longer, than they once did. Lima has shaken it’s dangerous reputation of times gone by, and we certainly found it to be a very safe place, full of very kind, generous people, and we didn’t feel worried at any point as we explored the city, both day and night. We decided to go for lunch at La Mar cevicheria, owned by Gaston Acurio a Peruvian celebrity TV chef, after our historical sightseeing. It was rumoured to be one of the best lunch spots in Lima for ceviche, and fully lived up to its name. There were lots of wealthy Peruvian families there, as well as some tourists like us, and we had to queue for a table due to its popularity. We had our first Pisco sour here, a traditional Peruvian drink made from Pisco, egg white, lemon juice and angostura bitters, which is absolutely delicious. We massively over-ordered on the food, and were totally stuffed by the time we left, and had to ask for a doggy bag.

Doggy bag in hand we went back to our hotel for a cat nap and a shower, and then decided to head out for the evening in our local area of Barranco. We decided Barranco is the Shoreditch of London. It has lots of small, independent cafes and bars, and some more traditional, but quirky places. If you’ve been to South America you can picture the peeling colours of the buildings, bright blue, yellow, and red, with beautiful wooden doors and shutters, and ornate metal gates. So many of the buildings look disused and dilapidated, but this gives them a charm and beauty that it’s hard to describe. The streets of Lima feel relaxed and very safe, and we were not warned about walking around the city at night, like we were in Rio. We noticed that despite Peru being a much less affluent nation than the UK, its streets are kept incredibly clean, as are its public bathrooms, many of which are spotless! It made me ashamed to be British thinking of London’s comparatively filthy streets and disgusting public toilets.

We walked down to the main square where a group of local boys were breakdancing to music. Jules enjoyed seeing that such a b-boy scene exists, and we were both impressed by their moves, as was the gathered crowd around them. The palm trees and church buildings in the square were lit up by the street lamps, and there was definitely a Mediterranean feel to the place. After our enormous lunch we agreed we did not need any dinner, so enjoyed going to a couple of bars before hearing back to the hotel. The first was a traditional Bodega. It had extremely high ceilings and all the panelling was dark wood, with only a handful of small round tables to sit out. We squeezed into a corner and ordered a couple more Pisco sours. We decided we needed to explore some more and wandered on, eventually stopping at a cute, more modern bar, for our third and final Pisco sour of the day. We both decided that the adjective for being drunk on these tasty liquid treats, was Pisscoed.

Rising with slightly fuzzy heads, we decided a slower start to the day, and breakfast in bed, was in order. Breakfast was served on large round silver trays with silver tea pots. We then went to look around Mario Testino’s gallery MATE, which showcased many photos of models and celebrities he has photographed over his career. Testino is Peruvian, from Lima, and surely one of Peru’s most notable living people. The gallery includes an exhibition dedicated to Princess Diana’s infamous photo shoot with Testino, which was sadly, and unbeknownst to them both, to be her last. The gallery also displays some of his amazing photos of people from the Cusco region wearing their traditional, festive dress. These clothes are incredibly colourful, vibrant and ornate, covered in beads and embellishments, and made for some truly incredible photos. This was Jules’s favourite part of the exhibition, whereas I loved looking at all the crazy celebs! Testino’s signature style must be the “artificial moment”, where the image looks as if he has just stumbled into the most glamorous and outrageous party. The extraordinary vitality, scandal, sensuality, and humour of his photos, is always captivating. I liked Testino’s quote: “My favourite words are possibilities, opportunities, and curiosity. I think if you are curious, you create opportunities, and then if you open the doors, you create possibilities”.

After this very interesting gallery, we decided it must be time to eat more food. We therefore tracked down Canta Ranita, a tiny outdoor restaurant, with the feel of a pop up or street food market stall. It was totally rammed with young Peruvian hipsters, and was clearly a trendy place to be. We had to queue for a while, but watching the good-looking owner running around in the hot sun, now and again pausing to wipe his beading brow with a tanned forearm, eased the hunger pangs slightly. The menu was very select with only a handful of dishes, so we asked for the waiter’s recommendations, had no idea what he said or was pointing to, and just said “si”. Our faith in the place paid off and we enjoyed an incredible take on a traditional Peruvian dish called causa, which is a tower of avocado, shrimp, mashed potato, and mayonnaise-y deliciousness, and the most amazing ceviche we have had to date on our travels, and probably ever! This came with THE tastiest barbecued octopus, and a lime bisque so divine I drank it from the plate. It was one of the meals where you experience sadness immediately following the last bite, as you know it will be a long time before encountering something so good again. However, Jules and I decided this culinary triumph would not dissuade us from at least trying!

Feeling very gluttonous we decided we needed a bit of physical activity to energise, and help us deal with our end of meal bereavement. Also, we had dinner already booked for us by Blind Experiences at Astrid y Gaston, also owned by Mr Gaston Acurio, we therefore decided to walk along the coastline all the way to Parque del Amor. It was a lovely, long stroll, and by the end our feet were aching, so we took a taxi back to the hotel to refresh. We downed a couple of Pisco sours in the hotel bar, and then headed to the restaurant. It was a very swanky establishment, the kind where someone places your napkin on your lap like a sacred ritual, and someone pulls your chair out for you, and a different person pushes it back in! All very nice, but a bit wanky nonetheless. We both shared that we preferred the informality and buzz of Canta Ranita, as opposed to the more formal fine-dining thing, but such contrasting experiences are always interesting. The decor is beautiful and contemporary though, with a large open kitchen showing the talented chefs hard at work, and the service is exceptional. Actually all the service in Peru is exceptional and so friendly, another not proud to be British moment. The 15 course tasting menu sounded a little ambitious, and we had to confess to the waiters we were not that hungry. It was clearly time to try guinea pig though, although I was a bit reluctant, but it is a typical Peruvian cuisine, and had to be done. It did not disappoint, and was absolutely delicious, however, it did feel quite strange eating something you consider to be a pet. I thought of my childhood guinea pig Flory (RIP), and was grateful she didn’t end her days on a dinner plate. The waiter was excited to spot our fourth envelope and it’s red wax seal, ready and waiting on the table to be opened during our dinner at 8pm. We opened it up and discovered our journey was to take us to Cuzco, Peru, a UNESCO world heritage site, and origins of the Inca Empire. The waiter approved and confirmed we would have a really interesting time. We were really excited! The journey home was a blur after more Pissed-co sours and bubbly, and a video Jules posted on our Instagram against my will, in which I refer to my “alcohol problem��� and going to “the water shop”.

We had a lazy morning the next day with more breakfast in bed, packing, and the eccentric owner saw us off in a taxi to Lima international airport. I though he looked a bit sad as he lingered on the pavement waving as we pulled away. Maybe he doesn’t like goodbyes Jules suggested. I agreed it seemed that way, but mused he is probably not in the right job if so. There is some seriously bad traffic in Lima, and lots of pollution, and as we crawled towards the airport at a snail’s pace, my increasing need to wee made the journey pretty stressful. When we finally arrived, it was a huge relief in every way possible. Our flight to Cuzco was delayed, and there seemed to be a hundred flights to the same destination. The airport was pandemonium as the gates kept being changed and everyone stampeded to the newly announced gate, only to be told that the old gate was now the new gate. It was pretty funny. Eventually we boarded and were up, up, and away to Cuzco!....

[junker-town]

10 reasons why Tiger Woods is ‘back’

The Hero World Challenge provided the scene for Tiger Woods’ latest return to golf. It was a success and here are the ways in which he showed he’s “back.”

You hear it every single time he plays golf but what, exactly, does “Tiger’s back” mean? At this point, it means whatever you want it to mean.

We have 20-plus years of baggage and experience with Tiger Woods, one of the most closely followed, celebrated, critiqued and examined athletes ever. But is Tiger back back, or just back playing golf. All of the above. Tiger’s back could mean he’s back to hitting golf shots. It could mean he’s back to making corny jokes. It could mean he’s back to looking like he could win again at the highest levels. It could mean he’s back to looking like a different golf creature that could dominate the entire sport. It could also mean he’s back to shanking, duffing, and depressingly slogging his way around the course in the sunset of his career. After 20 years, there are lot of things for him to get back to.

This comeback at the Hero World Challenge felt and looked different. This looked encouraging and there’s reason for optimism. Whether that means he’s back, who knows?!

“Tiger’s back” might have been a very specific ideal targeted to specific goals, oh, I don’t know, six years ago. But the Tiger experience now has been many, many things and there’s no fixed definition.

So here are 10 ways in which Tiger was back this week at the Hero World Challenge.(the sidebar provides a more detailed look into the state of his actual golf game).

1. Power

You’ve probably heard enough about this by now but in case you missed it: Tiger is crushing the ball. He’s hitting it out there with some of the biggest drivers in the game and the numbers seem to back it up. He was nuking it but the incessant hype about his “ball speed” was overkill and I was getting sick of it. On Sunday I was about to tweet that Trackman numbers don’t win golf tournaments. Then he did this and I promptly stopped thinking about doing that.

I’ve watched the replay of that moonshot over and over and it’s always breathtaking.

Tiger was hitting the ball well over 300 yards, with regularity. He hit draws. He hit fades. He occasionally hit the straightball. And he was consistent, avoiding the wildness that’s plagued him so much in recent years. This was the best we’re seen him drive the ball in years. If this swing and power is the new normal with his “fused back” — a big if — then the driver is a weapon that can carry him to a win. It was that good and exceeded all expectations even after we’d heard he’d been blasting it during friendly games in South Florida recently.

Seeing it was a different matter and he showed it this week, even to the surprise of his own caddie. The power and actual consistency hitting fairways was the kind of driving ability we’ve not seen from Tiger since his absolute peak days at the turn of the century.

2. Fist pumps

It took just four holes and about a half hour to get our first emphatic fist pump. It was intense, the kind he might author for a critical birdie at a major. It came so soon and we were off and running. He was back.

Its been a while since we have seen a Tiger fist pump, and it is as majestic as ever http://pic.twitter.com/M91THHUmha

— Sam Peterson (@HotSamAndCheeze) December 1, 2017

3. Chipping anxiety

When you move to edge of your seat and maybe feel the urge to cover your eyes, that could also mean Tiger’s back. There was a bit of that anxiety every time his ball ended in a tight lie around these greens at Albany. He stubbed two chips early on Thursday, hit a few shaky ones on Saturday, and was scruffy at several other moments. There were good moments too — he nearly holed a few chips and executed one perfectly from on the green, the tightest of lies.

This remains the biggest unanswered question from this week. His chipping was not sharp and that doesn’t mean he still has the yippy issue from two years ago. I don’t think it’s definitively still an issue, but maybe his chipping is just bad in less noticeable ways. So instead of an embarrassing chunk, he chips one to 15 feet that should have been inside 10 feet.

This turf at Albany was reportedly extra tight after hurricane season ripped through the area. It’s tight to begin with and there are all sorts of rough lies that challenge even the best in the world. Charley Hoffman, the 54-hole leader, used fairway woods from off the green to run the ball up to the hole. Hideki Matsuyama flubbed one too.

So Tiger had company. But that anxiety over every chip is back and it could be a lingering problem into next season. We need to see sustained steady short game play before we completely wipe that frightening chip yip stretch from our memories.

4. Intimidation via golf bag

Robert Lusetich, veteran golf writer, tweeted this on Sunday.

He had it all & wanted more. He never, ever took his foot off their throats. When Stevie shoved that bag down next to the tee marker, the logo always faced a right handed player: TIGER WOODS. He wanted you to know where you were and who you were playing. They were cold blooded https://t.co/E161hGfwFU

— Robert Lusetich (@RobertLusetich) December 3, 2017

Stevie is gone and the world ranking has plummeted but that doesn’t mean his bag is no longer intimidating or a signal to competitors that he means business. It was back this week.

Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

Speaks for itself.

5. Earmuffs

Many pro golfers curse. Many don’t have cameras and multiple microphones tracking their every shot and movement. So we’re bound to hear just about ever Tiger curse and he’s provided an expansive library of these FCC agita moments. We got a crisp, clear F-bomb just over an hour into his very first round. Fist pumps and F-bombs coming so soon warmed the heart.

6. Sandsie

A favorite Tiger quirk of Woods watchers is how he never actually calls most players and people around the game by their real name. This is usually the result of Tiger, in his nasally tone, appending a “y” or an “-ie” on the end of a first or last name. It’s the hockey routine of creating a nickname convention that actually lengthens the name with no discernible purpose. There’s the exception where Tiger shortens a name and adds an “s” somewhere in the middle -- e.g. Steve Stricker is always “Stricks.”

But this week I thought Tiger painted his Mona Lisa of using this nicknaming device. Steve Sands is a longtime Golf Channel announcer and reporter. It’s a pretty straightforward name — not a lot of room to add on without it becoming really tortured. Undeterred, Tiger went there on TV. Then, reading a transcript later from a larger media scrum, I stumbled on this and just about died.

No clearer sign that Tiger is back.

7. Questionable fashion choices

The white belt era has been dead. It was never a good idea to begin with, despite their ubiquitous presence. Tiger wore mutliple white belts this week. There were mutliple blade collars. There were multiple three-toned and weird gradient designs.

Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

Tiger is confined to Nike apparel, but there are options within that universe and he still has some freedom to choose and/or say no. It wasn’t a horrible week fashion-wise but there were some eye-openers that reminded you of all the years you’ve had together. And then there was that ...

8. Sunday Red

This needs no explanation. No golfer in history has had more instantly recognizable and predictable look. The Sunday red, the black pants and shoes. It was good to have it back, even if he kind of cheated and went with more of a Sunday fuchsia.

9. The Strut

Tiger changed golf in so many ways, including the redefinition of a strutting, swaggy flair that was needed for the modern game. He walks in putts. He twirls the club. He stalks approach shots he thinks might be good, chasing them down the fairway while they’re in the air. And when the cameras are rolling, he recoils with a ferocity that he knows will make the announcers and fans salivate.

http://pic.twitter.com/cVA9gcif0A

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) December 3, 2017

Tiger did all of this at the Hero World Challenge. It doesn’t matter that he’s not really been a competitive golfer for a few years and he’s ranked outside the top 1000 in the world. He’s still strutting as if he just won a grand slam.

10. Runaway emotions for everyone else

No one impacts the audience like Tiger Woods, even when it’s supposed to be an inconsequential early-December silly season event. Tiger was back and the larger sports world, from Steph Curry to Michael Phelps to Bo Jackson and everyone in between, started tweeting about it. No one has this impact.

A Tiger birdie run whipped everyone into a frenzy again on Friday. That first tee shot, the first fist pump, drew everyone into it at each stop and it was this communal moment. You may hate it or love it but no one creates this kind of juice and excitement. It can become a runaway train with delusional expectations and detached from reality.

But that mania, too, is part of the Tiger experience and it was there again all week in the Bahamas. You were happy to see him again and excited about what could be next. Tiger was back.

Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

Tiger’s back.