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buckys-wintersoldier · 5 months ago

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His forever and ever

// Prologue //

// Pairing //

-> (Ex-)Boyfriend!Mob!Bucky Barnes x (Ex-)Girlfriend!Reader

// Summary //

-> Your mobster sees you as self-evident so as much as that hurts you decide to move on — without his broken promises, without him.

// Wordcount //

-> 4.296 Words

// Warnings // Teen

-> Angst, Bucky being an idiot, anger issues, manipulation, break-up

// Authors Note //

-> The biggest thank you to the amazing @bucks-babe for proofreading and coming up with more details.

// Events //

-> Fandom-Free Bingo: Book Night | B2 | ‘Stay with me’ | @fandom-free-bingo

// Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist //

// Series Masterlist //

When you walk through the long corridors of your shared mansion you have a huge smile across your lips. Bucky planned to work for just a few more minutes and then the two of you wanted to go out, something you haven’t done in a while since Bucky was always busy with his work.

As a mobster he has a lot to do, especially since Rumlow tried to pretend it’s his town — just moving there and acting like he owns it. Like he owns Bucky’s town. So Bucky has a lot of business to do so there is not too much time for the two of you. But he promised that he will find some time for just the two of you tonight.

You walk to his office, knocking at his door until you hear his rough voice from the inside. With a soft chuckle you open the door, walking inside before you close the door behind you. Bucky doesn’t look up from his computer, his eyes narrowed and he groans annoyed while he stares at the screen.

“What is it? Don’t ya see I’m busy,” Bucky growls, annoyed that someone dares to interrupt him during work. He huffs, rolling his eyes when you stay quiet, he looks up at you and his expression immediately changes.

He smirks at you, his blue eyes carrying nothing but love and adoration, while he moves the chair a bit away from his desk. “Doll, what ya doin’ here?”

Now it’s on you to roll your eyes, playfully. You slowly walk through the room and around his table, standing close to him but instead of sitting on his lap you push the things on the table away and sit down on top of it. Bucky chuckles, loving your attitude even when it’s just pushing his work stuff away to make space for you to sit on his table.

He comes closer again, placing his hands on your thighs, his thumbs rubbing softly over them and he is looking slightly up. The grin on your face causes him to smirk even wider, his eyes light up and you could get lost in them like you could always do.

When you feel in love with him because he is such a charming, loving and sweet man, but he also has the most perfect blue eyes, the most adorable smile and he reserves it for you — his sweet side belongs to you, no one else gets to see it like you do.

“What’s up, dragǎ mea?” He asks with the sweetest tone possible. The name slips over his lips so easily and causes a tingling feeling in your lower stomach. Your heart beats a bit faster whenever he calls you that even though you thought you would be used to him calling you that.

“You wanted to finish work earlier today so we can go out,” you mumble, fingers sliding through his hair and you play softly with his long, soft brown hair. He sighs softly when you touch him, then he closes his eyes for a moment.

When he opens them again, he grasps both your wrists, holding your smaller hands in his big ones and caressing your soft skin in smooth movements with his thumbs. You growl a bit, knowing that he will excuse himself once again and that you will spend the rest of the day doing whatever you get in mind then. Your boyfriend is once again too busy and he will find an excuse like he always does.

“I’m sorry. It’s just so much to do right now with Rum—“ he gets interrupted when you shake your head, letting your face fall forward to avoid his intense stare. He doesn’t have to see that you’re almost crying just because he doesn’t have time right now — like always.

“Oke,” you say, quietly, knowing that he understands you. You wiggle your hands out of his grip and jump off the table, turning around without looking at Bucky or saying another word to him. You can hear his sigh, but you just walk back to the door.

Just as you open it you hear him clearing his throat. For a moment a little bit of hope that he could take some time for the two of you. But even though there is a bit of hope you know that he won’t change his mind, he wants to finish work.

“Te iubesc, dragǎ mea,” he says, soft and lovely and it breaks your heart once against into tiny little pieces. With a soft smile you turn around to face Bucky, hoping he isn’t going to look into your eyes because when he does he will see that the smile is anything but real.

The way his smirk fades away tells you he’s looking into your eyes, even though you’re standing a bit distanced from him. Bucky can read you like a book and he just needs to look into your eyes and he can tell what you think, what you feel and how you feel about situations. Like he does right now, knowing that he hurt you even though he didn’t want to hurt you.

“How about we go out tomorrow?” Bucky asks, trying to smile a bit to cheer you up. He knows he messed up because he promises you every day that you’re going out the next day but every time he is busy and can’t go out then. “I know I said that the last weeks but it’s important to—“

“It’s fine, James. You need to do your work and I’m not going to distract you. I don’t want to bother you, your work looks really important” you say, his name sounding like a threat. You bite your lip to not add that it feels like his work is more important than you. He doesn’t like when you call him ‘James’ but you always do when you’re hurt. Right now you have every right to be mad and hurt about your boyfriend’s behavior.

Before he can say anything you open the door and leave the room, letting the door shut close behind you. Tears building up on your eyes and you feel them falling down your cheeks. You face the ground, not wanting to let someone around see the tears you’re crying once again because Bucky left you hanging and prefers his work over his girlfriend.

You make your way to your shared bedroom, when the door is closed you immediately start crying more. Quiet sobs leave your lips and the tears flowing down your cheeks. You wipe the tears with your thumb away, crying even harder when you imagine Bucky’s thick fingers sliding over your soft skin, causing tingles in your body. But this time — like so often in the last time — he is working, not even caring about your feelings. Not even the thought of him making it up to you with sex like he always does helps you to calm down.

The sex isn't bad at all but he only promises more in such an intimate moment. But then he is going to break those once again, hurting you even more. And then it doesn't even feel like he is loving you anymore, just like he wants to apologize and it feels like it's the only way to do that — to pin you underneath in the bed and make it up to you, all the pain and broken promises which become more and more.

Even though you think he doesn’t care about your feelings he does. Bucky loves you and he feels guilty for pushing you away like that but the things with Rumlow stress him out a whole lot. He knows he promised you often to make it up to you, to have time the next day but he still has so much to do that he just can’t have a day off just yet.

He is sure he is going to make it up to you tonight, letting you feel how much he loves you. But first he needs to finish his work and so he does.

You’re sitting on the bed, watching a movie while you’re wrapped into your blanket. Your heart feels like it’s ripped out of your chest, you love Bucky, there is no doubt but he changed. He isn’t the man you feel in love with, the man you used to know.

Bucky was always lovely, at least around you. When you had a date he was there, not even daring to be one minute too late. You were able to walk into his office and ask him if he had time, even though he was actually busy he said yes, turning everything off and spending time with you. He never cared that he had work when you asked for him.

But now you feel like you’re something normal, nothing special anymore. He excuses himself and he makes it up with hot sex sometimes but mostly he comes home and you’re already asleep or you both get into an argument that he acts like his work is the most important in his life.

When Bucky finally finishes his work he makes his way to your shared apartment in the mansion. He only wants to wrap his arms around you, cuddle with you and make sure you know that he loves you.

But when he walks into the room and you’re sitting with red eyes and trails of tears all over your cheeks on the bed, he swallows harshly. He didn’t know that he hurt you that much, he didn’t mean to, but now there you are sitting there, and looking at him.

“Dragǎ mea, what’s wrong?” He asks, even though he guesses what it is he hopes there is another reason you’re crying, one that isn’t your boyfriend. He walks closer, getting immediately on his knees and resting his arms on your thighs, looking at you.

Bucky places his hands on your cheeks, slowly whipping your tears away. But you pull slightly away, not wanting to feel his warm touch once again — not wanting him to give you a reason to stay when you actually want to go.

“You’re always working. You’re not the man I used to know. Bu—James, I love you but I can’t act like it doesn’t hurt me. You prefer your work, so you can have your work,” you say, quietly while you look down. His name slipping past your lips makes it all worse, you never call him James unless he is in trouble or you tease him playfully — where you rarely call him ‘James’ though.

You don’t want to face him, to see him breaking because you decide to leave. You don’t have to tell him directly, he knows it damn well. He pushed you away and he always puts his work first but he never meant to hurt you with that. He wants you to be safe with him.

“Please, don’t leave me. I love you, I-I will change. I will have time for you tom—“ you interrupt him when you sniffle quietly. When you shake your head he gets up, turning away from you and running his fingers through his hair.

His emotions boil inside of him, he feels so hurt but knows that he hurt you way more than it hurts him right now. He promised so much but never kept it, he never had time for you and now you’re going to break up with him?

Bucky turns around, letting his hand fall down to his sides and he inhales deeply, trying to stay calm and tries to hide the shaking in his voice. “I know I messed up, but you can’t throw us away just because of that.”

“Bucky, I don’t— I’m not throwing us away because of ‘just’ that. You promised me to have time but you don’t have time, you come home late, we don’t do anything together anymore. Or we argue and I’m tired of it. I love you and I probably will forever but I need time and it’s better when we both move on, but on our own,” you say, quietly while more tears rolling down your cheeks.

“No! Shut up! I do that all to make it safe for YOU! No one can take care of you like I do, no one will love you like I do — you can’t push me away and leave because a few times I haven’t had time for you!” He shoots, causing you to flinch slightly. He is sometimes angry when you argue but you have never seen him that angry around you — at least not because of you.

He turns around once again, this time he lifts his hand, letting it crash into the wall next to the wardrobe. You get up from the bed, grasping the bag you just packed and walk quietly through the room to get to the door. But your boyfriend hears you — he learned to hear even the quietest noises because it’s important for his mobster business.

“We haven’t talked yet! You’re not going anywhere before we talked about it! You’re mine and you know that, you belong to me!” You shake your head, trying to get to the door but Bucky reaches you just an inch before you grab the doorknob, turning the two of you around and pressing you with your back against the wall. “I said you’re not going anywhere! You’re going to stay here!”

“Bucky, please. We can't talk like that, I'm not letting you yell at me, please calm down. And take a step back! We talked about it, I can help you calm down but you can't let out your frustration on me, so calm down or I'm not gonna listen to you any longer,” you say, trying to sound brave but Bucky's eyes are so dark and you can help but shiver lightly.

He hums, his one hand slamming against the wall next to you. You whimper, he barely scares you but right now he does. His eyes darken and his lips are pressed together, the muscles in his body tensing and you can see his jaw clenching. Bucky hand holding you tightly, his grip around your arms is probably leaving bruises but that’s your smallest problem yet.

“Bucky, I can’t act like that anymore. I want to be happy and you showed me that you’re not the man I fell in love with anymore,” you say, turning your head to the side to not feel his warm breath against your lips any longer.

“And you think you can leave me? You. Think. You. Could. Ever. Leave. Me?” He hisses, coldly. His grip tightens even more when you try to wiggle out of it. “I love you and you should fucking appreciate that.”

He looks up, finally meeting your eyes. The pure terror in your expression takes him aback, dread coursing through his body. You have never looked at him like that, like you are scared of the man you love. He feels how your whole body shakes but he is freezed, not able to back away from you.. Bucky can’t believe that he did that to you, that you were scared of him.

You know that’s only his anger that is talking right now. Bucky often says things he doesn’t mean when he is angry or mad but even though you know he scares you. The side of him — aggressive and cold. The sweet and gentle man you used to see in Bucky deep under the cold surface of James Barnes, the mobster and man with no emotions, except hate and anger. The man you love somewhere you can’t reach right now, somewhere so deep — probably drowning in the hate of the mobster.

“Bucky, let go of me. Calm down, please,” you say, trying to stay as calm as you can while the man in front of you looks with dark eyes and cold expression at you. His lips curl up for just a short moment, his eyes staring into your soul and you feel a shiver running along your skin. Usually Bucky would need a moment, he would be calmer and then he would make it up to you with sex but this time you don’t want to give in to him, you need to change something.

He had enough time to show you that he would keep his promises but he didn’t, acting like you’re self-evident in his eyes. You’re tired of it, tired of his empty promises — the pain in your chest grows with every word that leaves his lips when he tells you that he loves you and that he will have time for you after work.

Softly you press your hands against his broad chest, his muscles tensing underneath the shirt he is wearing and you want to feel him closer to you but you know you would be disappointed and hurt after that once again.

“Bucky,” you mumble, voice soft and Bucky sighs. He lets his head fall down against your shoulder, inhaling your scent deeply. He doesn't want to let you go, Bucky wants to make it up to you, he really wants to do it. Your hand slides up to his neck, softly caressing his skin before you move your fingers into his hair, gliding them through his brown long hair.

“Don’t leave, please. I will make it up to you, I promise,” he says, quietly. His forehead is still resting against your shoulder and he doesn’t dare to move, scared that you will leave when he lets go of you. Scared to see into your eyes, and see that you already moved on, that you don't love him anymore.

Would he lift his head to look at you, he would only find your soft expression filled with love for him, filled with emotions. But he would also see the tears that form in the corners of your eyes, the way they would slowly fall down your cheeks.

“I love you, but you promised that so often and you never changed anything. You hurt me whenever you put your work first,” you say, running your fingers still through his hair. He shakes his head, his hands making their way to your waist and he grasps it tightly pressing you against the wall before he pushes his body against yours.

He sniffles quietly, trying to blink the tears away but he can’t stop them all from rolling down his cheeks. “I n— I need you, dragǎ mea.”

Bucky’s voice sounds so broken, that you want to give in, want to say sorry, pull his face close to yours and kiss him. Forget everything around you and just be with him. But even though that hurts the two of you right now, you know that it’s the best, for him and for you. Because he can put his work first and doesn’t need to argue with someone that he does so. And you’re not hurt every day because he breaks his promises.

“It will hurt a bit of time but it will be oke, you will find someone who will make you happier,” you say, trying to sound like you really believe it. Your heart aches at your words, the imagination of him with another girl hurts even more but maybe it will be oke in a few weeks, maybe a few months and then the two of you can move on without hurting one another.

Bucky muffles his sobbing when he presses his face further into your shoulder, his fingers digging into your waist before he lets go of you and turns around. You don’t have to see his tears, he doesn’t want you to see how weak he can be around you — even though he knows he doesn’t want to show you that just yet.

It needs a moment until he clears his throat and turns back to you. His eyes are red, just like yours and your heart breaks in even smaller pieces when it’s even possible. But other than that he looks with a cold expression at you, lifting his hands and taking another step back from you.

Everything inside of him to not do what he is going to do, to not say what he is going to say. But he can’t stop himself, Bucky is hurt and he doesn’t know what else to do, the soft side of him can’t hold you so he plays his other card, his mobster one. The side he never showed you but only his men, only the ones he is working with, who are working for him. But now he can’t find another way than that to make you stay.

“You don’t wanna stay? Want to run away from me — from the man who loves you?” He asks, his voice as cold as ice and his blue eyes piercing into yours. You swallow thickly, unsure what to say but he doesn’t want you to answer, he just continues to speak. “I will always find you! You’re mine, and I know about everything that’s going on in town, so don’t you dare to just move a step out of this house!”

Your body trembles lightly and you look down. He is going to hate you and he is going to hate himself. You push yourself off the wall, grasping your back and looking once again at him before you open the door and walk into the long corridor of the mansion. He huffs behind you, a low, dark chuckle following.

“You fucking little bitch. Think you can have your own little mind now, huh? I’m gonna find you in every fucking alley, I will find you in every town, everywhere, even in the darkest corner!” He threatens, his heavy footsteps behind you but you don’t dare to turn around.

Bucky slams the door shut behind him, following behind you, while he looks at you in disbelief. You dare to walk away from HIM? From your boyfriend, from the man who cares for you and the one who loves you? And you don’t even stop and turn around when he is talking to you.

“Fucking bitch!” He slams his fist against the wall, causing you to flinch before you walk even faster through the mansion, trying to get out of there as fast as you can. “You can’t go anywhere! Where do you think you’re going?”

You can’t stop the tears anymore, you tried as best as you can so your view isn’t blurry but your heart aches and even though he is such an idiot right now you know he is doing it because he loves you. Since you were together with Bucky you learned to handle his dark and aggressive sides because he never uses them against you and you were the only one who is able to help him calm down. Or at least help him calm down without destroying everything around him.

You stop, hearing him stop too and you turn around, a sad but soft smile across your lips. He is still a gentleman, holding the distance so he doesn’t make you uncomfortable. You inhale deeply, trying to avoid his face to avoid his tears, to avoid that broken gaze — the broken soul behind those stormy blue eyes.

“I’m sorry, Bucky. I’m sorry for being such a bitch to you, for being selfish but I need to take that step now,” you say, trying to let your smile look real but it doesn’t really work. “I hope you will find someone who isn’t selfish like I am. Someone who doesn't mind broken promises.”

His mouth drops open, his mind clears for a moment. Did you just say you’re selfish and a bitch? Bucky opens his mouth, but closing it again, he doesn’t even have words to say. His mind is so empty and yet so full but no words could explain anything going on in his mind.

You’re not selfish, you never were, and he might insult you but it wasn’t him. He doesn’t think that what he said in his anger, he would never think that you’re a bitch or selfish. You’re the sweetest woman on the planet, the most understanding and loving person he ever met and you’re — you were his. But he needed to destroy that, needed to break everything that meant something to him, including you.

Before he realizes that he was in thoughts for two long you’re already out of his sight. Only your scent is still lingering in the air, and he runs his fingers through his hair, feeling your touch still there. Bucky closes his eyes, letting his hands wander to his face before he rubs his palms over his cheek, not knowing what to do now.

He knows that it doesn’t make sense to follow you, when you leave the mansion you do it because you want it, his anger and frustration wouldn’t help to get you back either. But working now? Maybe it would help, maybe he could calm down, he wouldn’t have to go back to your shared apartment in the mansion to have more of your scent surrounding him. More reasons to go crazy because he doesn’t know a way to get you back, his soft side isn’t working, his mobster side isn’t working…

Don’t you love him anymore or did he really mess up but has a chance to get you back when he just tries and shows you that his heart belongs to you — that he belongs to you like you belong to him. That he will be better for you, and that he doesn’t only say it but really means and does it — for the one and only woman who matters in his life, being better for you.

Chapter One ->

-> Asks, ideas, small Drabble ideas are appreciated! So feel free to reach out in case you have ideas or questions.

(Y’all can thank @delicatebarness that I publish the prologue now because you caused more excitement again. AND I HAVE TOO MUCH OF THAT NOW!)

// Taglist //

@kandis-mom @sergeantbarnessdoll @identity2212 @km-ffluv @lunaalovesyouu @blackhawkfanatic @armystay89 @suz7days @etherealdisneyvillainness @pono-pura-vida @randomawesomeperson102 @rogersbarber @sebastianstanisahotmf @felicitylemon @cjand10 @bookishtheaterlover7 @casa-boiardi @futurequeen2018-blog @flstrawberry @capsbestgirl77 @nervouseden @jiyascepter @princesscore-angel @mrs-katelyn-barnes @sasha-writing @somnorvos @fanfictionreaderfan @multiversefanfics @angelbabyyy99

Event Taglist: @amathslutsguidetofandom @buck-buck-buckaroo @mcira @queenashen @iloveshawnieboi @keylimebeag @sapphirebarnes

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starry-bi-sky · 2 months ago

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do yall ever think about bruce/batman!clone danny standing in front of his bathroom mirror after finding out he was a clone and silently tracing his face. The slope of his jaw and point of his chin. The high angle of his cheekbones and the shape of his eyes, the curve of his brow bones and the shape of his nose. The volume of his hair and the way it curls and gets fluffy when it gets too long.

His hair is black the same way a crow's wing is black. His dad's hair is black the same way a black bear's fur is black. His dad's eyes are blue like the ocean is blue. Danny's eyes are blue the same way a glacier is blue.

His dad has a square jaw and straight flat hair, and he tans and gets a face full of freckles when he's out in the sun for too long. Danny burns like a lobster and his face remains untouched. Danny has a sharp jaw and tall cheekbones, and Sam says when he's not smiling there's almost something regal about him. You would never call Jack Fenton "regal" when he's not smiling.

Sam says when he's not smiling he looks scary the same way a stone statue is. Jack Fenton when he's not smiling looks scary the same way that german shepherd staring at you across the street is.

Do you ever think he grew up wondering if he was adopted. Because of course, he has black hair and blue eyes like his dad. But having the same color doesn't make you someone's child.

Or, worse, things he's heard from the other kids and the other parents and even some of his teachers growing up; that he was the product of an affair. And that his dad was just too stupid to notice. And Danny would defend his parents until the day he died, because Jack Fenton wasn't an idiot and Maddie Fenton wasn't a cheater.

But doubt comes in with fickle tongue. his parents swear up and down that he is their child when he asks about either. That Danny just had his grandparents' features, but he was their son and they loved him.

But Danny doesn't look like either of his parents. His mom's eyes are blue like an aquamarine and Jazz's too. And they burn like lobsters in the sun too, but Jazz gets freckles on her face and so does Maddie. And as Danny grows up he doesn't bulk up or get stocky like his dad did, and when he hits puberty he doesn't shoot up like a tree like Jack Fenton did.

He stays small, and they say he's a late bloomer (and he is), or that he just has his mom's height. But he's fast and has good stamina, and some days it feels like he's built entirely different from his family. That the things they went through growing up just didn't apply to him. Jack and Maddie Fenton both had acne and breakouts when they hit puberty, and Jazz inherits it and he's seen the amount of skincare products she keeps on her side of the bathroom.

And then he hits puberty and breaks out maybe once or twice, but his skin stays clear for the most part and the problems and changes his dad went through just don't happen to him.

And the truth is worse than all of the lies.

How horrifying.

#dpxdc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #danny fenton is a clone #clone danny fenton #clone danny #thinking about the inherent trauma that comes with growing up as a clone and not knowing and questioning everything about yourself #thinking about the amount of effort and lying that Jack and Maddie would've had to to do if they wanted to pass Danny off as their bio son #the MEDICAL RECORDS #danny's medical history is completely different from theirs. any generational health problems the waynes have would/could be passed down to #danny and he's completely oblivious to it up until the reveal. he'd have no idea about any medical risks until they hit him before that.#so many little things and inconsistencies that would just build and build and build until it finally came to a head and the truth came out #forever and ever and ever fascinated by the underlying horror of being a clone. there's a horror in being cloned but there's also a horror #in BEING a clone. like yes he could've always known from the start and that comes with its own set of issues BUT. just. him not knowing #for the longest time. the lies and deceit and betrayal. you know how adopted kids come out and talk about how they didn't know they were #adopted for the longest time and how traumatizing and betrayed they felt when they're finally told 15-20 years down the line? yeah that #i imagine finding out you're a clone is a lot like that.#i read a book in middle school once abt a girl moving to a new town with her family and getting these horrible nightmares and noticing how #everyone was acting strange around her. one of her nightmares was about the 30yo police officer being a shambling corpse talking to her #and at the end of the book she finds out she's actually the clone of a dead older sister and the police officer was her sister's boyfriend.#and she was in gymnastics but quit and her parents were so disappointed bc the og sister was a champion/award winning gymnastics player #and i never did finish the book but god am i reminded of that.#i love reading the dpxdc clone danny posts and they usually have him brush off being a clone which is literally totally fine but duUUDE #just imagine his own horror over it. its SOOO good

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