#his art is gorgeous + he's damn good at horror imagery

[edgepunk]

I literally cannot look at the Venom War SM comics I fucking hate Greg Land's art everyone looks like they have a weird face filter going on besides the traced p0rn faces on women

[candlefright]

The Exorcist III

I have dreams of a rose, and falling down a long flight of steps...

The Exorcist was one of the films that haunted my childhood when I was years younger. Every Halloween without fail, this film would turn up in the DVD player somehow. Resurrected on stormy nights and called back from the other side when life gets a little too safe. William Blatty’s classic has the ability to creep into sacred spaces and pervert them with something unknown and hellacious.

At twenty-eight years of age, I am finally taking a step outside of that original, shocking experience- and stretching my clammy hands over what I have read is the more respectable sequel to the film, The Exorcist III. 

The Exorcist II: The Heretic wasn’t written by William Blatty, but instead by John Boorman, whose filmography seems scattered amongst a plethora of genres; his most notable titles falling back into the early 60′s. While the original Exorcist and The Exorcist III both belong within the predictably magical hands of William. Although William Friedkin directed the original, harrowing film, William Blatty’s directorial talents show that he is not only a man who can write; but a man who has always known exactly how to execute his stories. 

Please be advised that reading further will result in potential spoilers for the film listed in title: so if you haven’t seen The Exorcist III; come back when you have, or abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

The film begins authentically. You’re reintroduced to that spine-tingling theme and before you know it, a strange voice welcomes you back into the story by rehashing the death of Damien Karras, the original protagonist of the Exorcist story, who met an untimely end after having exorcised Reagan. 

Lt. William F. Kinderman (played by actor George C. Scott) is our primary focus, now. The movie seems to orbit around the reemergence of a serial killer going by the name of Gemini, or at the very least, a copycat of said killer (which is what Lt. William is adamant to believe). What follows are a series of events that slowly draw Lt. Kinderman back into the presence of an unhinged Damien Karras, who is, of course, possessed by the evil spirit of the Gemini killer, James Venamun. When James, through Damien- demands to be seen for his “artful” work, Lt. Kinderman refuses, and of course, things escalate.

The beauty of this film is not surprising. Like the original, The Exorcist III is filled with beautiful, stylish shots. One of my favorite scenes, where Lt. Kinderman experiences his dream sequence, is full of beautifully framed metaphors and nuances. 

Outside of the gorgeous cinematography, the story for this film is compelling and paced very well. You come to know Lt. Kinderman much better, I think, than you did in the original film (Kinderman played by Lee J. Cobb, who passed away in ‘76, just three years after its release.) 

Lt. Kinderman presents as a stoic, intelligent, but hard-pressed man whose mercurial spurts of rage complement the thematic escalation of the story. You get the pleasure of watching a highly reasonable man flounder and stumble down the steps of madness, drawn by the candlelight flicker of vengeance as it rushes ahead of him, but is constantly roadblocked by his own denial. He is spurred on by the death of his good friend, Father Joseph Dyer (played by Ed Flanders), but repelled by the speculation that he may be up against more than a madman. 

Where The Exorcist embraced the unknown and made it real by validating its existence from the start, The Exorcist III smolders with unsettling imagery and atmosphere; atmosphere the protagonist refuses to entertain, at first. You watch as Kinderman walks into darkly lit churches, his eternally speculative face teetering on the edge of disturbed before reason creeps back in through lesser roles (a girl showing up out of nowhere, questioning the state of the lights, only for them to flicker back on). As tension builds, you wait with bated breath and in the hopes that each new instance will be the event that shows Lt. Kinderman what you already know as the viewer: there be demons afoot.

Speaking of demons, let me introduce you to my favorite part of this entire movie: the Gemini Killer, James Venamun. Now, if you know One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, or Child’s Play, you know Brad Dourif. I was familiar with him as the voice of that tiny plastic freak in Child’s Play and as Billy Bibbit in OFOCN, however; this is by far his best performance I have ever seen. His portrayal of an unhinged maniac is fully showcased by beautifully unsettling monologues.

Damien Karras’ face fades into shadow and James Venamun splits the darkness with his darkly angelic face cutting like blades into Lt. Kinderman. I was genuinely chilled to my marrow during his first monologue, and found myself re-winding and going back just to catch more of the minute details in his behavior as he spoke. 

Can you see it? Maybe not, but James’ perpetually tearful eyes sparkle in the dark while he speaks. You can see the fluid shake against his eyelids and threaten to spill over as his mouth twists petulantly over plights to be recognized for who he is. He cycles through an array of tonal shifts from cryptic laughter to booming rage, to high and sneering and belittling, all while pushing the restraint of Lt. Kinderman as he describes in great detail the death of one of his good friends. Watching Kinderman break to unload a heavy slap on his cheek peaks the tension and leaves you damn near shaking. I cannot praise this performance enough, I will be painting his name along the lobes of my grey matter for the rest of my journey. 

This film, like the original, builds suspense by syncopating your thrills. You’re tied up in following Lt. Kinderman at his pace while he fouls up the pieces of the puzzle with his disbelief in the unknown. Important scenes are followed by brief interludes of equally tense and unpredictable moments that accentuate the slow deterioration of reason within the film.

One of my favorite scenes leaves you suspended for what feels like a century as you watch the main hallway of the hospital, lead into a false sense of respite before the fright comes back to remind you: there be demons afoot.

What makes the breaking scenes so great is their ability to cause discomfort without going too far and distracting from the real plot. Small ripples make huge waves that drench you in goosebumps and blast you with a cold wind. It really is the subtlety that makes the scares in this film that much more lethal. 

Blatty directs the way he writes, by whispering rather than shouting. He draws you into the film with the details and uses shock as his red paintbrush. You lean in to hear Lt. Kinderman mutter his lines, you jump back when the silver corpse shears come out.

You don’t get to watch the entitled film without witnessing at least one attempted exorcism. A priest with a vow to avenge his whitened hair (not really but lol) stomps into the hospital to battle the Pazuzu-fueled Venamun/Karras with what you can expect are pretty laughable results. Watching that scene made me wanna scrape a burger off the grill. 

The ending of the film rocks with the thunder of Scott’s venomous self-righteousness, thunder, and the rise of hell itself. I cannot tell you how absolutely horrifying this scene was to watch, you feel smote by light and mortified by the silhouettes rising out of it. As sacred as children tend to be in terms of horror, Blatty stomps you into submission by showing you that nothing is sacred in his realm. 

This was a fantastic start to the beginning of this blog. I can’t guarantee that all of my posts moving forward will be as long, but this one just has so much to appreciate. This one is definitely going up there with the rest of my favorites.

Rating: 5/5

[antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx]

Mouse’s Reclist (#1/?)

Okay, it is time. Time to get working on the incredibly frustrating (but rewarding) task of putting together a fic reclist (the EDM one is next). No, none of my own are going to be on here, I literally know antis would accuse me of doing that for clout. If you want my own fics, DM me :). They probably suck, most of them are really self-indulgent, and I have an update schedule that embodies the slow feeling of trying to download free porn from a dial-up connection in 1997. And your mother is picking up the phone when you’re at the last megabyte and makes you start over. Or something.

I’m going to put a hotlink on the title and probably the author, if that’ll work super easy in a format transfer. Then I’ll post the fandom, pairing, and fic summary in italics, and uh, possibly a small review with some warnings. Keep in mind I can’t be as thorough as the authors themselves, if they’ve chosen to tag at all, because while I do reread these often, I can’t remember every exact trigger. Some of these are fluffy, and some of these are FUCKED UP. Capital F, capital U. Let’s get started. Not organised by fandom or by alphabetical order or by length because my ADHD just says “ONTO THE NEXT LINK GOGOGOGOGOGO” every five seconds. Google docs,,,, stop yelling at my grammar and let me do this thing. There should be about 30 or so under the cut. (Maybe I’ll do more?)

Obviously the first is Three Missing Girls in Madison, Wisconsin by lapsi. This is the Mindhunter Bill/Holden rec that I posted, like, four days ago, and what inspired me to post my own little oneshot drabble. You can check for that in my recs tag for a more detailed description. Let’s just say it’s fucking gorgeous. Everything by lapsi is gorgeous.

Revalations by Anonymous - MCU/Starker/WIP - ���I still don’t get it,” Ned says. “How you just... keep being ordinary in spite of all the craziness you’ve lived through. You were in space. You helped Iron Man save the universe. And nobody knows it was you.” His tone softens, becomes almost sad. As though he realizes that what he’s saying is so completely alien to him that he will never be able to understand this part of Peter’s life. “Peter, don’t you want people to know you for who you are?”//An AU where they get the Gauntlet off of Thanos that first time, on Titan. - This is a sort of supremely fucked up but also absolutely beautiful Starker fic with aged up!Peter. By, like, three years, and he’s still essentially Tony’s sugar baby, but whatever. It’s literally an absolute amazing ride.

the spaces between the stars by indigostohelit - Generation Kill/Bradnate - Lieutenant Nathaniel Fick of the USS Devil Dog is returning to Earth with the weight of the world on his shoulders: his captain is incompetent, his crew is half in mutiny, and the mission to a distant star may have been more of a failure than anyone could have comprehended. But on the journey back, something in the ship goes terribly wrong—and Nate may have to bear far more than the weight of the world if he's going to keep his men safe. - Okay, what fandom ancients still remember Generation Kill? Warnings in and of itself for just the general nature of camaraderie on that show. I’m usually a Bradray sucker (remind me to get to those next time), but this was fucking fantastic. Sci-fi mystery AU is my absolute FAVOURITE genre, hands down, all time, ever. And indigo has written a veritable basketload of my fav fics besides, so I can always trust in them.

All of Astolat’s MegOp fic - Transformers/MegOp - ‘Nuff said. She’s the founder of the goddamn site. You’re damn straight I’m going to fawn over her fic. Also it’s fucking good, founding the site aside. I cried. I cried so fucking much. I dripped tears like a sponge.

The White Road by perverse_idyll - Harry Potter/Snarry - One day, comfortably set up in the afterlife, Lily Evans Potter switches on the telly and gets hooked on the Harry Potter show. - Okay, first, this is the only time I’ve literally ever seen one-sided Snily where Lily was the one pining. Anyway, the summary explains the premise, but doesn’t do it justice. Lily watches down on the many possible universes that contain her son’s future from a comfy spot in the afterlife. The relationship between literally everyone in the fic and Severus is… exquisitely-detailed and heart-wrenchingly painful. I’d die for this fic, so I could read a million versions of it in the afterlife.

Rapture by mia_ugly - Harry Potter/Snarry - Snape sees the man, for the first time, on his twenty-fifth birthday. - I fucking bawled my eyes out the first time I read this. And the second. And the third. Dumbledore gives Harry a time-travelling watch for his birthday. A watch that travels to a young Severus, who Harry gets to know. On a pretense, of course. And then he falls in love with him. They both do. It’s absolutely agonising angst, but it has a happy ending. It will fucking pack a punch though, so get the tissues ready. This one is perhaps my favourite Snarry fic of all time. Period. Please don’t pass it up. The writing is so fucking amazingly-crafted. I would sell my soul to write like this.

Shell Game by forthegreatergood - DCU/Superbat - Batman wants Superman. Superman wants Batman. Eventually they'll get it sorted out. - An absolutely spot-on identity porn fic. As cheesy as the summary sounds, this fic hits hard. And it has sex pollen. Who can resist sex pollen? Pun intended, maybe.

Every Superbat fic by Susiecarter. - DCU/Superbat - Susie is a friend of mine (fucking,,, don’t know how I managed that one, apparently I write good enough fic for them to read,,, astonishing), and one of Superbat fandom’s greatest contributors. One of DCEU fandom’s greatest contributors, in fact. Everything they’ve written is a masterpiece. But the ultimate fav? as to which may be the true. Hands down. IDENTITY PORN GALORE.

The Long Hangover by CoffioCake - DCU/Superbat - Clark knows he should take a break: His powers are on the fritz, he feels like shit, and Batman’s treating him like a liability. But Gotham's villains seem to have it in for Metropolis' Big Blue Boy Scout and Clark won't just wait around for answers. Batman might be the world’s greatest detective, but Clark Kent is one of the Daily Planet’s most tenacious reporters.//This is definitely a job for Superman. - Okay, I can’t promise another Superbat won’t show up on this list. I’m a sucker for it. I’m also a sucker for case fic. Which is this. It’s so good. So good.

No Glory (and everything else in the HP fandom) by ObsidianPen - Harry Potter/Tomarry/WIP - The Dark Lord divines what Harry Potter is in the Forbidden Forest, and revelations lead to incomprehensible consequences. Lord Voldemort has won... and the dystopia is damning.//A tale of a fallen hero, dark desires, and a Dark Lord's obsession with something he has lost and finds himself unwillingly lusting after: a soul. - This is a Voldemort wins!AU. A fucking delicious one. If only my own Tomarry could aspire, by god. The imagery in this is so vivid I could swear it was painted on my eyelids. The concept of soul magic and interpretations on Horcruxes is unique and perfectly-executed. Honestly, everything Obsidian has ever written for HP is perfectly-executed. I would probably consider this the definitive Tomarry/Harrymort fic. Seriously.

It Cages a Demon by TripleX_Tyrant - Rick & Morty/C137cest/WIP - When Rick captures a powerful being from a demonic dimension - a demon with the ability to devour thoughts - Morty's consciousness is pulled into the demon's cage. Rick must go in after him before Morty's consciousness is completely consumed. But this isn't what the inside of the cage should look like. And if Rick wants to save Morty, he'll have to survive in a place where paths are unclear and monsters manifest.//Rick knew his own mind was complex. But he wasn't ready for this. - A goddamn Silent Hill-style horror mystery AU??????? FOR RICKMORTY? Yep, you heard me. And every second of it is liquid gold. It’s also gory as all fuck and pants-shittingly terrifying at times, so read at your own risk. But if you can risk it, please do. It’s honestly the best execution of C137cest I’ve seen outside of Harmon’s own damn writing lmao.

The Book of Secrets by Are - Downton Abbey/Thommy - With a war of words and wills, Jimmy Kent and Thomas Barrow embark on a strange romance. Set Post Christmas Special. - Thommy is another rare-ish (now, post-2016) pairing that I would die for. And everything Are has ever written for the pairing could kill me and I would thank it. But TBS is the best. Jimmy finds Thomas’ diary (and poetry book), which was also the diary (and sketchbook) of Courtenay before his passing, and learns more about his past and his innermost thoughts. It’s the most haunting, heartbreaking, poignant fic in the pairing. It ends well, but the journey you’ll take from the first chapter is one I would pay money to experience for the first time again. I literally couldn’t even breathe for a while after this. Lapsi’s fic has the same effect, so if you’ve worked through that one by now, be prepared.

Mad Man by griseldajane - MCU/Thorki - In all the years they spent together, it never occurred to Loki that there might be a time when Thor would not be available to him. The god of mischief conceals himself, coming and going as he pleases, doing what he wants.//That Thor might one day do the same never crossed his mind. - All the mindfuckery a Convinced-You-Were-in-an-Insane-Asylum-the-Whole-Time!fic entails and more. If you have issues with dissociating from reality, this is probably a bit much, because it absolutely nails everything about derealisation, delusional thinking, and paranoia. GOD, if you’re willing to let your mind take that battering, though, it’s a damn work of art.

Switch by Ceres_Libera - Star Trek/McKirk - The life and times of Leonard H. McCoy MD/PhD … If Leonard McCoy's life could get any fucking weirder, it would be … Jesus, he didn't even want to think what that could possibly mean, because it's already been too fucking weird to make any kind of rational sense.//A Starfleet Academy story, set in the ST:XI universe. - The ultimate McKirk fic imho. We’ll get to my ultimate Spirk fic in a second. Please do read this. It’s everything you could want out of an Academy!fic. Especially a roommates/UST!fic. 

Black Mirror by DarthNickels - Star Wars/Gen - The Ghost crew returns to the Lothal when they hear the Empire is investigating the Jedi Temple there. They learn Vader is alone and decide to take him out-- but what they find could change the course of Galactic history. - What, you think I don’t read Gen? I read Gen!!!! Look at all this Gen I read. Put simply, Dad!Vader redemption arc set in the Rebels era. FUCKING,,, what more could I ask for,,, literally. What more?????????? Sci-fi mystery??? ASKING FOR MORE WHOMMMMMST’VE????

The Lotus Eaters by aldora89 - Star Trek/Spirk - Stranded on the planet Sigma Nox while searching for a missing away team, Spock and Kirk find themselves pitted against a disturbing native life form. With the captain out of commission on a regular basis and Spock struggling to preserve his stoicism, staying alive is difficult enough – but when a slim chance for escape surfaces, their resolve is truly put to the test. Together they must fight for survival in the heart of an alien jungle, and in the process, uncover the mystery of the planet’s past. Slow build K/S. - Here’s that aforementioned ultimate Spirk fic. Okay, what, it’s sci-fi mystery again. Give me a break. You just heard how much I would absolutely die for it. Seriously, there is no Spirk fic I adore more than this. I mean, I adore an absolute shittonne of Spirk fics, but this one is my raison d’etre.

In Good Company by weialala - Naruto/Sasunaru - This will sound a little ridiculous, no matter how Sasuke phrases it. I see dead people is embarrassingly tacky, and I'm half-spirit seems like something Sakura might say when she's stoned sky high. So he settles for a shrug. - Sasuke sees dead people. Sasuke bonds with the goddamn fae. Kuchiyose no Jutsu taken to the fucking max. An epic that does what The Last pretty much couldn’t. Shippuden who???

The Boy Who Died A Lot by starcrossedgirl - Harry Potter/Snarry - Harry’s always been known as The Boy Who Lived. Only Severus knows that this is a lie. (Or: a portrait of Severus Snape, in seven acts.) - Oh, there’s Snarry again. Bite me. This is my second (third? Tied with the White Road?) favourite Snarry fic. Time travel, almost Groundhog Day style. Severus has to go back and fix every mistake Harry makes that leads to his untimely death throughout the seven books. I honestly could believe this is what really happened, and we just don’t know otherwise because Rowling hasn’t deigned to make this shit up and put a woke spin on it yet.

Kisses Cursed by The_Fictionist - Harry Potter/Tomarry - Fairytale AU. Loosely inspired by Beauty and the Beast.//Some said he was once a man, cursed, and some that he sold his soul to demons and became one in turn. Others said that such evil as he could never have been human. That he was instead a nightmare, left lingering upon the earth a very long time ago.//Harry just knew it wasn't safe to walk near the Riddle House after dark. - Not just a fairytale AU, but a MYSTERY(!!!!) fairytale!AU. Okay, who’s gotten that I love mystery by now? This one is amazing, no matter how many puzzle pieces have slotted into place. The ride is a wild one and a great one. My second favourite Tomarry fic. I’d rank more of The_Fictionist’s higher, but they’ve deleted a lot of their old stuff, despite me absolutely adoring it.

United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) by fallingvoices & radialarch - MCU/Stucky - The Associated Press @AP//Winter Soldier set to stand trial for Washington D.C. massacre and treason apne.ws/1og6SWE - Both an epistolary/media fic and a case fic? Sign me tf up. Came out mere seconds (I exaggerate a little) after TWS, which I instantly fell in love with in theatres (still my fav MCU movie, folks). Details what a trial would be like for James Buchanan Barnes, should the MCU function more like real life, all in newspaper/tweet/blog form. Best way I’ve seen epistolary!fic formatted, tbh. Only on the AO3, huh?

The Mirror by cloudyjenn - Supernatural/Destiel - When Dean touches a strange mirror, he's whisked away to one alternate reality after another and it doesn't take him long to realize the universe is trying to tell him something. - I love dimension hopping. And it’s for my first ever hardcore fandom (besides Pokemon), too! I usually see dimension hopping more in sci-fi and superhero fandoms, so it was nice to see it in fantasy, too. A million alternate dimensions where Dean and Cas are in love. It’s definitely a message. :eyes emoji:

Stay With Me (home is where your mind is.) by sara_holmes - Marvel/Stony - Where Steve doesn’t quite die, ends up stranded in the multiverse and would quite like to know how the hell so many versions of himself ended up sleeping with Tony Stark. Well, that’s going to make things a tad awkward when he gets home. - Speaking of dimension hopping in superhero fandoms. This is honestly the most interesting way I’ve seen dimension hopping played out. Or rather, dimension consolidating. Steve ends up in a purgatory-style void populated only by other versions of himself from throughout the Multiverse. Like the Mirror, there’s definitely a message being sent here about how many versions of him are doing the do with a certain genius playboy billionaire philanthropist. 

Thicker than Water by StarkatHeart - Marvel/Stony/Superfamily - Neither of them would admit it, but blood does count for something.//When Peter Parker discovers his biological father is actually none other than Tony Stark, it's not exactly news that's well received. By either party. But they're Avengers. They're teammates. They'll just have to work through it. ...Or maybe just ignore it. - On a completely different note from Starker, or not-so-different, depending on how depraved you like your fic to be flavoured, Peter as Tony’s biological son. This is pure Superfamily, not a hint of fucked up incest to be found. Though if anyone has any fucked up incest recs, I’m down to get my dirty paws on them.

the undiscovered country by indigostohelit - Shakespeare/Hamratio - It's 1959, and the mayor of Chicago is dead. - Remember how I said indigo had written some of my fav fics before? Yeah, 1950’s Americana!AU Hamlet, with added Hamratio. It is as good as it sounds.

All of astolat’s GoT and Thor works TBH. But please don’t pass up her Thorki, especially not Chaos War and Revelations. 

Reaching as I Fall by apokteino - Supernatural/Destiel - “Service to God was the meaning of existence; service to Michael is nothing but slavery.” Castiel is part of an underground network helping angels fall, in resistance to heaven. At the same time that a fallen angel by the name of Dean Winchester turns up, some of those in the network are murdered by Michael’s forces – there’s a spy. What does Dean have to do with it? Who is Dean? And why are they hunting him so fiercely?//A story about love, family, and choice. - Let me introduce you to my favourite AU concept from all of SPN fandom. No, I won’t spoil it. Needless to say, I’ve tried to write it myself a thousand times, and only succeeded in a thousand false starts. Maybe one day I’ll get around to it. Plus, I always disagree with these authors, anyway. Dean is totally a bottom. ;P

I Got a Soul but I’m Not a Soldier by starandrea - Supernatural/Destiel - AU: Castiel is on the road (saving people, helping things) when he meets Dean and realizes that his soul is different - and not just because he's the pastor's son. - Here it is again, my favourite trope (well, I’d call it a trope, if there were more than a dozen or so fics for it). If you haven’t read RAIF, I’m wondering if you’ve caught on yet. ;P.

Chosen Man by Sineala - The Eagle/Marcus x Esca - The son of the man who lost the Eagle of the Ninth would never be allowed a first command of his very own fort, would he?//Marcus is posted not to Isca Dumnoniorum, but to a wretched and run-down garrison north of the Wall. There he finds that he is the new centurion of a group of scouts and spies, all of them British. He has few supplies and no experience. His men distrust him. His superiors despise him. His second-in-command is an incompetent drunkard. And the local tribes are determined to kill all of them.//But the worst thing of all is one of Marcus' soldiers. He is an enigmatic, dangerous, and insubordinate man by the name of Esca, who makes Marcus yearn for terrifying things he has never before wanted and can never, ever let himself have… - Sine pretty much engineered the Eagle fandom. 

I followed them from the Eagle and into all their other ventures, too, and when they started writing for Stony I practically screamed in excitement. PLEASE read their Stony, if it’s the only Stony you ever read.

The Leonardo Effect by Phoenike - Assassin’s Creed/EzioLeo - To Ezio’s best knowledge, Leonardo's idea of debauchery was staying up until morning with a bottle of wine and too many sketching supplies. But why would the gondolier have lied? It was a heavy accusation. In both Firenze and Venezia, mere allegations of unnatural conduct had condemned men to be pilloried or hanged. - My favourite EzioLeo fic of all time. Everything Phoe has ever written is a gem, but this one takes the cake. Have I said that already? A lot of cake is being taken. Please read. It’s the epitome of what makes EzioLeo good.

Naked to Mine Enemies by mundungus42 - Pirates of the Caribbean/Sparrington - The Pirate Code doesn't expressly command its adherents to repay debts that bridge life and death, but the Code is more of a set of guidelines, anyway. Sparrow/Norrington, set after At World's End, ignores all films released thereafter. - A classic fic for a classic ship. My ship pun both is and isn’t intended. I’d read this one over and over. Okay, I already do. Whenever I go back to Sparrington, I go back to this.

The Persistence of Iron by Sylvia - Marvel/X-Men Cinematic Universe/Cherik - Waking up in a lab with no memories and a blue-eyed stranger calling him by someone else's name is only the beginning of Erik's problems.- Sci-fi mystery. You don’t need to ask me to clarify at this point, do you? Cloning tech? CLONING TECH? DE-AGING CLONING TECH? So many favourite tropes.

Take the Heat Out of Me by quipquipquip - DCU/Jaydick - Lost Days!Jason trolls Officer Grayson!Dick in Blüdhaven. Dick counter-trolls with the power of love. (It's super effective.) - A classic Jaydick fic. I think it was quip’s last foray into fic. Under that name, at least. What a bang to go out with.

Don’t Quote Me by TKodami - DCU/Superbat/WIP - Bruce Wayne has weathered scandal before, and Wayne Enterprises can handle another publicity crisis. What Bruce can’t handle is one crashing up against his plans to infiltrate Lex’s estate. Set during Batman v. Superman. - There’s that more Superbat. I’m sure… one day… the author will finish it. It’s a goddamn sex tape scandal!fic. Glorious.

Speaking of, every Superbat fic by Liodain. 

In This White Wave I Am Sinking by queeniegalore - Generation Kill/Bradray - He felt like he wasn’t really living, like he was in an in-between state, something that came between war and real life, something like purgatory. - The atmosphere for this is consistently beautiful and bittersweet. 

Okay, that’s about it for now. Save for an honourable mention to one of the fics that I started off with in the SPN fandom. I’d honour some more, but most everything’s been purged at this point. Come on, 2012!fandom, stop hiding behind how “cringe” you think shit was. I want my fic back.

Pull Me Under by AwesomeDistractions -- a Destiel handprint!kink WIP.

And finally, the most honourable mention, the first slash fic I ever read, from the Pokemon fandom, of all places. Originalshipping horror/mystery!AU. Wow, my tastes have always been, well, my tastes. Believe it or not, best place I can find it is a Waybackmachine archive of a creepypasta uploading site that went defunct a while back. I never found out the original author. But here it is, Missing, the first ever slash fic I stumbled across.

If you guys want more, I can definitely provide more. I have thousands of bookmarks. These are just my very, very favourites. What ones are still remaining on AO3, anyway. This is why I save most in PDFs. Though there are a few completely lost to time, and I’m pretty sure the OTW says fuck you to Waybackmachine, which. Uhghgh. Please. I want my nostalgia rush back.

[theremightbecupcakespodcast]

Social Distancing Self-Care: Links

Being chronically ill, I am used to being at home for days and even weeks on end. But I know most of my listeners are not. The only change for me right now is that my doctors’ appointments and physical therapy appointments are being canceled, which does also mean not writing at Starbucks or Barnes and Noble. My anxiety, of course, is heightened by everything that is going on, but the actual social distancing aspect is normal life for me. I know most of you are feeling cabin fever (which is a great movie, by the way, and about a virus–more about using horror to safely experience real-life fears in the next episode), coming right up. My love goes out to you guys. As I wrote on the Facebook page, in the Facebook group, and in the Goodreads group:

I have such empathy and love for all of you. Being forced to stay home and act like the world might make you sick…I know how scary and uncomfortable it is. Please take a moment and sit in empathy, as you struggle with your new reality of social distancing. This is how I have been living for the last six years. Not as strictly. But still the same. Some weeks I only go out of the house for my therapy appointment and a coffee afterwards. Know that when I say this, I am remembering my first days and weeks home from work, and the first days and weeks after each new diagnosis, and how very difficult they were. I am so sorry; I don’t want anyone else to feel this way. I promise the cabin fever goes away. Take very good care of yourself and each other, see this as an opportunity. That’s the lesson it has taken me years to learn.

So I am working on the above-mentioned episode, and other future episodes, and also working on intense self-care. This self-care includes distracting myself with creativity and fascinating media I have been meaning to consume. I thought I’d share some of that media with you, in order to inspire and encourage you. Share some of your own in the comments, or wherever you post your own thoughts. Feel free to promote those links in the comments as well for my listeners.

Letterboxd: Carol Kane’s movies

A horror movie I’ve never heard of! And it looks terrifying. The Mafu Cage (1978), directed by Karen Arthur. It stars Carol Kane and Lee Grant (The Omen), and I can’t wait to watch it. It looks like true 1970’s horror grittiness mixed with the likes of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane and The Bad Seed: psychological horror movies where it really comes down to the interpersonal relationship between two people who may not be sane. And a la Clive Barker’s Lord of Illusions, horror of horrors, there’s a simian involved. Those Illusions scenes, short as they are, nearly do me in.

A terrifying love story.

Two strange sisters live in a crumbling mansion, where they keep a pet ape, which belonged to their late father, locked in a cage. While one of the sisters seems to be keeping her head on straight, as it were, the other appears to be sinking further and further into barbarism and insanity.

For lighter fare, and a good laugh, here’s a horror spoof I found: Pandemonium (1982):

Tom Smothers (of the Smothers Brothers) stars as the brave mountie, who along with his trusty horse and bitter deputy Paul Reubens (Pee Wee Herman!) must track down a killer who is stalking coeds at a nearby cheerleader camp.

Also stars Carol Kane, Edie McClurg (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Carrie), Judge Reinhold (Fast Times at Ridgemont High), Phil Hartman (Kiki’s Delivery’s Service, How I Got Into College), Eileen Brennan (Clue), Donald O’Connor (Singing in the Rain), and Tab Hunter (Damn Yankees, Grease 2). I am definitely going to seek this out, and will report back. I’m not normally a fan of horror comedy, but this looks so cute and funny. And Carol Kane! Letterboxd, Amazon (not currently available, but you can add it to your watchlist to let Amazon know you want to watch it). Just knowing this exists makes me feel better.

A spoof of camp horror movies with Canadian mounties thrown in. Yes.

Then there’s Trees Lounge: Steve Buscemi, Carol Kane, Chloe Sevigny, Samuel L. Jackson, Debi Mazar, Io Tillet Wright. Directed by Steve Buscemi. What the what. How did this get past me?!

Tommy has lost his job, his love and his life. He lives in a small apartment above the Trees Lounge, a bar which he frequents along with a few other regulars without lives. He gets a job driving an ice cream truck and ends up getting involved with the seventeen-year-old niece of his ex-girlfriend. This gets him into serious trouble with her father.

One of my Letterboxd friends called this “Cheers without the happy”. I cannot wait to see this./> Letterboxd, Amazon

These are the movies written by my friend Eric Garcia–I met Eric at Yale Summer School 1989, between our junior and senior years of high school–he was taking Drama, I was taking Psychology, and Gender and Political Science; we initially bonded over our similar sense of humors and Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (oh oh whoa whoa whoa whoa): Letterboxd:

Matchstick Men (2003): Nicholas Cage, Sam Rockwell, Jenny O’Hara:

A phobic con artist and his protege are on the verge of pulling off a lucrative swindle when the con artist’s teenage daughter arrives unexpectedly.

(the novel: Matchstick Men: A Novel About Grifters with Issues)

Repo Men (2010): Jude Law, Forest Whitaker:

In the future, medical technology has advanced to the point where people can buy artificial organs to extend their lives. But if they default on payments, an organization known as the Union sends agents to repossess the organs.

(the novel)

Strange But True (2019): Greg Kinnear, Blythe Danner:

A woman surprises the family of her deceased boyfriend by telling them she’s pregnant with his child.

Yes, “Matchstick Men”, if you are my age, that should induce a half-remembered earmworm…

…inspired by the Camper Van Beethoven song, since we’re entertaining ourselves here. And guess what, o happy of happies? Ozzy Ozbourne covered it, with Type O Negative. Have fun!

As always, to follow what I am watching, here’s my Letterboxd diary. Feel free to follow me on there, and I will follow you back.

As for books…I just finished Ronan Farrow’s Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators. I will never give NBC any of my time nor money again. Also, excuse some brief vulgarity and anger, which is rare for me: fuck Matt Lauer, fuck Lester Holt for being an enabler and minimizer for Matt Lauer, fuck the legal team and highest management at NBC and MSNBC, and fuck Harvey Weinstein and everyone that helped, enabled and ignored him. I say all this as an aghast survivor and an aghast human. About Matt Lauer: that softpedal they gave us, with Savannah Guthrie crying that morning of his firing, reading a statement about “harassment” and “inappropriate work environment”, it was farthest from the truth. Matt Lauer is a violent rapist, and know that going into reading this book. It’s explicit, and much more that you will ever expect. Also, Weinstein is much, much worse than you even knew.

In better news, I posted about this book and how it helped me, and Rose McGowan posted a comment of solidarity on my Instagram post. I cried, and I cry every time I think about it, tears of happiness and healing.

So, while we’re at it: Letterboxd: Rose McGowan’s movies

Rose McGowan: Instagram

Rose McGowan Arts: Instagram: her photography and videography art

Her book Brave is next on my list. According to Letterboxd, there’s an accompanying documentary in the works, about which I am very excited.

If you are into true crime, and i know many of you are, here’s the list of recent 5-stars I finished, including those by my talented friend Caitlin Rother:

Lost Girls * Caitlin Rother

I’ll Take Care of You * Caitlin Rother

My Daddy Is a Hero: How Chris Watts Went From Family Man to Family Killer * Lena Derhally (deep dive into this case by a therapist–the whole second half of the book is a thoughtful, intellectual examination of what might be wrong with Chris Watts)

Scarred: The True Story of How I escaped NXIVM, the Cult That Bound My Life * Sarah Edmondson with Kristine Gasbarre (narrated by Sarah, and the audiobook was directed by Kate Winslet)

The Five: The Untold Lives of the Women Killed by Jack the Ripper * Hallie Rubenhold (more history than true crime, incredibly moving and marvelous detective work)

My long-suffering library hold for Madeline Miller‘s Circe finally came through, and I am beyond excited. I loved her gorgeous Song of Achilles so very much. It was so luscious in its imagery and relationship, and its retelling of myth.

I am also reading, on my Kindle, His Garden, Conversations with a Serial Killer, by Anne K. Howard, about William Devin Howell. I’m listening to The Wild Heart of Stevie Nicks written and narrated by Rob Sheffield, the author of the thought-full and moving journal of essays Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song At a Time. It’s only two hours long but it’s taking me forever because I keep having to pause it to listen to her music.

I’m also knitting a blanket for Wil Wheaton. It all came about from an Instagram conversation about coziness and Muppets last year. There’s been a reboot of this blanket; I won’t bore you with the details and carnage…suffice it to say I won’t be using chenille yarn ever again. I’ll follow up here and on Instagram with new photos. The concept is a warm Muppet hug, and the base pattern is the Elm Avenue Throw Blanket by Lauren Scungio. (Feel free to follow me at Ravelry, my user name is CarlaYarn.)

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Rebooting @itswilwheaton’s Muppet hug blanket. Why? It’s a long story involving many struggles, ending with the strong resolution that I will never knit with chenille again. Stitches kept gapping and stretching; it was a crime scene. Anyway! Revamped, and the end result is going to be much more joyous and colorful, and durable. I chose colors of @knitpicks Brava that corresponded to 19079’s old-school Muppets, including overlooked intrepid reported Prairie Dawn. The Muppets are Big Bird, Bert, Ernie, Cookie, Prairie, Kermit and Herry. The original yarn retained from the original plan is the fuzzy one—the Caron Latte Cakes—it adds the furry aspect as a carry-along. The pattern is the same: the Elm Avenue Throw Blanket by #laurenscungio and #loopsandthreads. I’ve making it on larger needles than called-for for extra squish. Wil, I hope this brings you and @annewheaton much coziness and comfort. Now that I have worked out the frustration (and my health is cooperating), this blanket should be “Movin’ Right Along”. If anyone wants to follow along or check it out. I made the project public on Ravelry at https://ravel.me/CarlaYarn/eatb. #knitpicks #knitpicksbrava #caronyarn #caronlattecakes #muppets #knitting #wip #ravelry #sesamestreet #prairiedawn #bertandernie #cookiemonster #bigbird #herrymonster #knittersofinstagram #knittersofravelry #knitstagram #knitting_is_love #knitlove

A post shared by Carla Hufstedler (@carlahaunted) on Mar 18, 2020 at 9:14am PDT

I shall return with, of course, the aforementioned podcast episode, and more links, more suggestions, and more photos, especially photos of the knitting. I hope this long collection has helped–I spent all afternoon aggregating it. As always, any of the books mentioned can be collected for free with a trial membership from Audible, which helps me out, through this link: http://audibletrial.com/mightbecupcakes. As well, using any of the links in this or any post on the site helps me out. Our family budget is on lockdown. You know I still do not receive disability, and now my husband cannot go out to work. So your clicks and purchases really help, thank you so much. I will also be uploading more scripts to the show’s Patreon, and updating the Patreon levels. Please consider joining, and thank you. If you are not a fan of Patreon, you can also leave me a tip at Flattr. Episode 59 is on its way. I love you, and I hope you find something in this post fun.

To leave this on the most possible fun note, puppies must be involved, right? Well, my parents have three dogs (to my two), and the youngest, still a puppy, is Olivia Benson, and she is a very rare full hermaphrodite. She is cute as as a button as well as fascinating (her vet is going to publish a paper on her). We (meaning me, prompted by my parents via text message as they send over pictures as well) have been chronicling her journey on Instagram at @oliviathespecialpug. Give her a follow. She’s cute and sassy and ridiculously smart. Her older brothers Spencer Reid the pug and Preston the long-haired dachshund show up occasionally as well, and they’re all just stinkin’ adorable. I’ll leave you with her most recent shots. This first one was from Sunday, I was watching 48 Meters Down: Unchanged (I know, I know, here’s my review), and she was falling asleep with her arm on my shoulder, like a human, then there were birdies! She pointed at the tv then looked at me with great confusion then pointed again. The next one was from her spaying + neutering–yes, she had to have both, in a compound, complicated surgery, and she is stoned out of her gourd. I laugh every time I look at these. To me, she looks like a furry toad. I hope they make you laugh, too.

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I heard birdies in @carlahaunted’s horror movie and pointed. #pugstagram #puglife #puglifechoseme #hermaphrodite #olivia #oliviabenson #detoliviabenson #svu #lawandordersvu #oliviathepug #oliviabensonthepug #oliviathehermaphroditepug #puppiesofinstagram #pugsofinstagram #pugpuppies #pugpuppiesofinstagram #pugs #pugchronicles #flatnosesociety

A post shared by

Olivia Benson Pettigrew (@oliviathespecialpug) on Mar 15, 2020 at 7:54am PDT

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Teething pug = sleepy pug. #pugstagram #puglife #puglifechoseme #hermaphrodite #olivia #oliviabenson #detoliviabenson #svu #lawandordersvu #oliviathepug #oliviabensonthepug #oliviathehermaphroditepug #puppiesofinstagram #pugsofinstagram #pugpuppies #pugpuppiesofinstagram #pugs #pugchronicles #flatnosesociety

A post shared by

Olivia Benson Pettigrew (@oliviathespecialpug) on Mar 15, 2020 at 7:40am PDT

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I am recovering from my complicated neutering/spaying surgery nicely, but my first experience with pain meds has me very confused and doing a really good Baby Yoda impression. @carlahaunted was dogsitting me, and I kept standing up stiff legged suddenly, like I had forgotten something (Carla said it was like I had remembered I had locked my keys in my car) and then standing up on my back legs like a meerkat. I finally slept with a good, juicy pain meds + pug flatnose snore. I figured out how to untie my stuffed cone of shame. I am one clever puppy, even on pain medication. My big brothers are worried about me, but being very gentle and very well behaved. I can’t wait to play with them again. #Pugstagram #puglife #puglifechoseme #hermaphrodite #olivia #oliviabenson #detoliviabenson #svu #lawandordersvu #oliviathepug #oliviabensonthepug #oliviathehermaphroditepug #puppiesofinstagram #pugsofinstagram #pugpuppies #pugpuppiesofinstagram #pugs #pugchronicles #flatnosesociety

#babyyoda #babyyodapug #coneofshame

A post shared by

Olivia Benson Pettigrew (@oliviathespecialpug) on Jan 23, 2020 at 10:27pm PST

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[tasteslikekeys]

Sensory Overload #1

Thought it would be fun to do write-ups every now and then of the different media I’ve decided to experience recently. So first we hit my preferred entertainment...

FILM

Wind River

I was pretty engrossed from the get-go. All performances are solid and honest, especially Renner. The direction is so nicely shaped and blocked to set the clues for this bleak whodunnit, as well as show the beautiful and unforgiving scenery. I have thoroughly enjoyed other films Taylor Sheridan has penned (Sicario, Hell or High Water). Guy knows how to write some ultra-satisfying and chewy dialogue. HOWEVER. Dude also has a theme of the White Man Savior that rubs me the wrong way. Good intentions may be at play, usually to expose discrimination and hard truths afflicting minorities, but perhaps not through the best lens.I saw him in person for a Q&A for Hell or High Water and he came off extra macho, which may bleed into some of the issues I have. Additionally, be warned that there is some disturbing sexual violence involved. The imagery and scope is gorgeous for the big screen, but if you must, streaming at home can work.

Beach Rats

5 seconds into the trailer for this film, my brain was shouting, GAYGAYGAY. I’m sure we all have become attuned to the tropes of marketing. Suffice to say, I knew I’d be seeing this film one way or another. I’m glad I saw it, but don’t go in thinking it’s going to be a story wrapped up in a nice, little bow. It’s part of what I enjoyed about the film. It’s very slice-of-life, and you’re just...along for the ride as Frankie experiences his sexuality. I say experience over discovery, as there’s no momentous revelation or giant turning point. The film is pure indie and intimate. The camera is constantly framing its characters like walking busts. Grainy and dim and dreamlike, set in an equally grainy and dim east coast shore. Doesn’t have to be seen in theaters and would work fine streaming at home.

IT

Honest bomb. Never read the book and I only watched the film as a kid because I had the hots for Jonathan Brandis. So I didn’t go in with a lot of baggage of comparison. Took me a little while to decide if I liked the style of the first act, which was pulling a LOT from 80s type framing (bordering on made-for-tv) and classic orchestral scores of that time. It sort of takes on its own as the nightmare fuel really gets going. The kids are really charming and well-cast (Sophia Lillis is one to watch) and it’s interesting to realize, as an adult, I see that the true horrors are those that occur in the real world as every kind of physical and mental abuse. Definitely recommend it on the big screen. Scares are so much more fun with a group!

TV

BoJack Horseman S4

This show is hard, but in a GOOD way. It’s got its hits and misses, but MAN, the hits can be profound. I want to hoist it on my shoulders and march down the streets under a celebratory banner of, “Animation is a medium, NOT an genre!” Animation can tell any kind of story under the sun, and this show pulls no punches in the Let’s Get Real category. I felt this season took a more subtle, but no less heart-breaking, look at self-exploration. Easy to binge, however, you may want to pepper some classic Parks & Rec between episodes. 

COMICS

Moonstruck

So nice to see a YA-type story under the Image umbrella. The art is So. Cute.  I’m hoping it’s because of a better budget than the usual under BOOM, because there is a lot of extra and lovely work going into these panels, and that shit takes TIME. It seems to be starting an arc around some mystery, but it’s the incredibly corny jokes and puns that has me hooked. Also, adorably Gay.

Shirtless Bear-Fighter

Guys. This comic might be the most literally-titled series I’ve ever read. Our hero is shirtless. And fights bears. And that is not the most ridiculous part. Oh no. I am constantly snorting into my adult beverage whenever I read it at a local burger bar. It’s so beautifully stupid with every intention, and the art is hot damn good and expressive. I will just leave with this: there is a Bear Jet, and it’s exactly what you’re thinking.

MUSIC

St. Vincent - New York

I have loved my fellow Texan Annie Clark (St. Vincent) ever since I heard “Now Now” on a Paste Sampler CD about 10 years ago. Yes, I fucking got CDs in the mail, because I am OLD. So  Annie and I go way back. I’m really excited for this album, because I was not a fan of her sound during the David Byrne years, and this seems to be a retreat or new venture under her own voice. Fall in love with her foul mouth as she dissects this single on Sound Exploder. 

[ciircumserpent]

:o Does the Mun have any video game recommendations? I played Metal gear solid and liked it.

i’m glad you liked mgs !! it’s a really great series and a lot of fun to play. i’ll warn you that my taste in video games is kind of eclectic, and there aren’t a lot on this list that resemble mgs at all, but i’ll try to explain why i like what i like because i definitely think they’re games worth playing. i’m gonna put this under a cut though because it’s not rp- or headcanon-related and it will also probably get… long… ( i’m skipping over games like mario / loz / sonic / pokémon / etc. because there are so many of those that it’s a free-for-all in terms of which you think is the ‘best’ and because they’re so similar at the end of the day that it doesn’t even matter you’re gonna get about the same experience. )

a little background. my exposure to video games started in a school setting. when i was really little, i wasn’t allowed to own any games myself, and i didn’t get my first console until i was pretty old ( i tend to be slow on the console market in general; i bought my first console for myself this year and it was a ps4, my ps3 was a gift that i received last year, and before that, it had been the ps2 which was released seventeen years ago, so make of that what you will ). all of my gaming then took place in preschool and kindergarten, which meant that i was mostly playing nintendo party games. so imagine what a life-changing event it must have been when i picked up–

kingdom hearts / ii: i’ve been playing the kingdom hearts games for… most of my life, and they matter a lot to me. i actually think kingdom hearts ( the original ) was the first game that i could remember playing enough for it to have an emotional impact. i’d played games before that, but they were sort of mindless entertainment. by the time i got kingdom hearts, i was old enough to actually think about what was going on and to remember it in some detail when i stopped playing. it was also my first game with an engaging story worth remembering. the gameplay in the original might seem a little jerky now, but looking at some of the other shit stuff that came out at about the same time, kingdom hearts had incredible animation, environments, and controls. kingdom hearts ii, which also came out on the ps2, was even better. i was stunned by how great the cinematics looked ( i also use this and squenix’s other games to push the point that if your game goes for style instead of realism it doesn’t age as badly ), and how good combat felt. now, kingdom hearts is an rpg in that it has a lot of grinding and you level up your character and switch out abilities and weapons and all that, so if that’s not for you, you may not like that, but honestly i find the gameplay so engaging that i straight up don’t care if i’m spending some time filling up item slots and balancing my action points. i’m also not partial to the other games in the series, not because they aren’t ‘good’, but because square fucked up how it released these games honestly. they’re spread across so many consoles that until the ps3 compilation you had to either be made of money or have lots of friends with different consoles to get all of the story. there’s been a highly dedicated fanbase since the early 2000s that has been consistently updating all available information on the series, so if you were smart, you waited and watched the cinematics and walkthroughs, then picked up the remixes when they came out. the only complaint i have is that, when they ported the mobile games to console ( all with updated graphics, don’t worry, they’re very attentive when it comes to that ), you can… tell that they weren’t designed for a playstation controller. but i have straight up played kingdom hearts ii for twelve years now and haven’t gotten bored. i only recommend that you start with the original kingdom hearts. it’s not the first game chronologically, but it’s 1) the simplest and 2) the most genuine in what it was trying to do, and it lays the emotional foundation for the rest of the series. you’re not going to feel the same impact playing these games if you start with the prequels, because they use the more complex storytelling of kingdom hearts ii, which only ever made sense if you played i. clearly i care a lot about this game. it’s such a good game. the story’s gotten ridiculous but please play kingdom hearts.

bioshock infinite: this is another game where you should play the original ( bioshock ) first, but the plot twist is that i like bioshock so much less than infinite that i straight up don’t care. i played infinite first and it didn’t kill me so i think you’ll be fine. if you liked metal gear for the shooting / action element, then the bioshock series is probably the closest thing i can offer you on this list to mgs. it’s an fps game, and if you’ve seen any of the visuals then you’ll know that it’s gorgeous. it leaves a lot to be desired in terms of character animation ( nobody at irrational games has ever seen another human being and every npc is an eldritch abomination ), but the rest is solid. i can’t talk about it too much without spoiling it, so i’ll just say that the character you play is is his own character; he is not a direct player surrogate and he’s going to talk a lot. there are plenty of add-ons and changing the difficulty level actually changes how you play the game, so that ( in addition to having an… interesting story ) dramatically raises the replay value. i have 100 hours on this game on steam alone. i also own this game for console. i have also sat through a billion let’s plays of this game because i wanted to hear what other people had to say. i have also played it in french. twice. but i find gunslinging very satisfying so if you don’t like shooters then you probably won’t replay it as often as i do, but the story is worth at least one or two plays.

borderlands 2: the last fps on this list. also, again, this is specifically borderlands 2, and you’re not missing out on the story from the original because there wasn’t much of one. granted, 2 is still a game for people who like collecting guns and… collecting guns… but at least it gives you more plot to work with ( though that plot mostly consists of go here and do this thing and is a means of funneling you through all the different areas where you can shoot new things ). i also found the learning curve to be a damn struggle; this game punishes you early on until you learn to play smart, but since death is a slap on the wrist and you can revisit any area on the world map without the enemies leveling up too much, once you do understand how to play the game, going back and blowing through boss fights that took hours originally feels fantastic. since this game can be bought in packs of four, it’s clear that it’s supposed to be played with friends; it is also an rpg with classes that are supposed to balance each other out, and going through it alone as one class is probably what made it so difficult for me at first. i actually had to have a friend carry me through the second level before i could stand on my own. but the good thing is that this game has an enormous amount of dlc, and the main game itself is already bursting with content. i still haven’t gotten 100% completion. also the writing is hilarious. ( it can’t stand on its own tho so bye telltale borderlands. )

night in the woods: play this instead of life is strange if you only have so much money to spend. i’ll admit that i’m biased here because the main character hit so close to home, but it does what life is strange does and it does it better imo. don’t get me wrong, i also loved life is strange and it made me sob like a baby, but it also does a lot to manipulate your emotions without putting in the work to earn the reaction, and night in the woods doesn’t have that luxury. it’s a pretty leisurely game – a lot of platforming, a lot of mini-games – but the story is out of this world. if you like the sort of small-town-but-also-impending-supernatural-disaster feel that life is strange was going for with less cop outs and more understandable ambiguity, pick it up. it has two free to play dlc that were released before the game, so they’re spoiler-free and also fun as hell.

alice: madness returns: i like horror and i like alice in wonderland and i was too young to place the pc alice when it came out, but you only need the briefest overview of that game to play this one. the gameplay is… so much better ( though it has its fair share of graphical oddities ), and the plot is pretty damn good. granted, it’s not as plot-heavy as the other games on this list ( it’s alice in wonderland, most of the draw is the environments ), but the art direction is phenomenal, so much so that it raised funds via kickstarter and released two animated shorts because the visuals were that compelling. it’s sort of experimental, sort of cliche, but still worth your time. warning: there’s some graphic sexual imagery, including csa and rape. it’s also a horror game, so there’s gore galore. be careful if you pick it up. i found it cathartic, but not all coping is created equal.

subnautica: minecraft but underwater and with much better graphics and some actual art direction. there’s a plot, but i bought it in beta and the plot hadn’t been implemented yet. still, i had a good enough time without a plot to play for over thirty hours. it’s incredibly atmospheric – i’m afraid of the ocean and i felt real terror being down there. half-spoilers, there is land in the game, but you will spend 99.99% of your time in the water, finding ways to dive deeper. there’s probably more to read now in terms of backstory, so you might like that, but i played just for exploring the environments and feeling engaged in the world.

what remains of edith finch: one of those stories that, again, you need to play multiple times to feel the full impact of. it sinks in slowly, but once it clicks, it’s actually a really effective horror experience – which is surprising, because it’s not a horror game. it’s actually barely a game at all. somebody compared it to a pop-up book and i agree. you walk and you read. it’s a walking simulator. there’s a little bit of gameplay here and there, but for the most part, you are there to take in the story. a majority of it is narrated to you, but the things you find that the character misses are extremely telling and important to the plot. again, warning, this is a game heavy on death and existentialism. you witness the death of a baby ( though it’s not explicitly graphic ). you are in first person for all of the deaths. if you have anxiety or you’re superstitious, this could trigger you pretty badly, so be careful, please.

misc. recommendations that i won’t get into in detail: life is strange, undertale, castlevania: symphony of the night, castlevania: aria / dawn of sorrow, castlevania: lords of shadow 2, assassin’s creed iii / black flag, resident evil 7, the uncharted series, until dawn, beyond: two souls, the last of us, the metro series, the path, the park.