#his advice sucked

[morganadeservedbetter]

MY FIRST MERLIN MEME (I'm sorry if I did bad)

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Continuation of my other post here, the autobots have come close to figuring out that Optimus is the sire but Optimus is way too moral to spark up an subordinate so they don’t look into it more

Skywarp stole the evidence, Ratchet doesn’t notice cause he and Optimus are too busy with the baby for any fun private parties

[mongeese]

he makes me so crazy. most repressed man in the world chooses a career that encourages and feeds his repression and within that career enforces professionalism to the upmost

[merakiui]

thinking,,,,,,,, darling who has a cryptic pregnancy....... [insert twst character here] reacting to it,,, maybe you and floyd and you're both a little dense because neither of you could have ever guessed. T_T

"what do you mean you were pregnant this whole time???? i thought shrimpy just got softer. :D" - floyb mindset.

in floyd's defense, he has no idea how human pregnancies work. he slept through that part of land boot camp!!! fell asleep the minute the professor started droning on about how humans don't lay eggs like mers do. jade can only chuckle (maybe he knew, but in classic jade fashion he won't tell because it's much more entertaining to sit back and watch everyone slowly figure it out) and azul is shaking his head in disbelief. had he known, he would have prepared well in advance to lend a helping hand. and you're just so amazed because maybe you were told you're unable to get pregnant, but somehow it happened and you had no idea all this time.

thank you to floyd and his mer virility for doing what was thought to be the impossible!!!!!! <3

[sophsun1]

Queer as Folk – 4.03: Starting a Whole New Life

[specialbluehens]

i think it would be very silly, a little hee hee funny, if shane ended up put in an older sibling role (without trying) to the younger bachelors/bachelorettes

[wernerherzogs]

Is it a coincidence that Ryan is interacting with weird Christian/trad wife/men and women are different yet need each other/right wing content as buddie canon is seemingly imminent?

anon genuinely. don't do this to yourself friend. you'll never know what's going on in his life and how he feels about it and whether he's in a good place right now, or a bad one. you can only hope for the best, but you'll never have a say in it, and i'd recommend largely ignoring the celebrities' real lives

[shesgonnachangetheworld]

i swear every article about how men are shifting rightward is like "democrats are ~losing male voters~ by treating women like human beings who also vote. why aren't they offering up free sex slaves to incels on a silver platter? is it because they're bad at politics? it must be because they're bad at politics"

[m1d-45]

i gobbled and devoured the post imposter things. scrumptious!! but what if poor little xiao man feels guilty for hunting or scarring us in the hunt? and please don’t feel obligated to answer, i know you’re busy

burden to bear

word count: 2.7k

-> warnings: spoilers for liyue archon quest, canon typical violence…. minor body horror? blood mention.

-> gn reader (you/yours)

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yum1x || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay

< masterlist >

during the hunt itself, xiao is driven by a need to prove himself, pushing past his instinct and the way his karma flares around the one on the throne. he sees it as a way to redeem himself, to finally scrape some of the sin off his hands. it’s a way to prove himself, and one he takes eagerly.

it’s not correct to say he’s blinded by faith, but it’s not exactly wrong either. he definitely feels, subconsciously, that something’s… off, maybe, about his god. perhaps it’s the way his vision always seems to flutter and flare, or the ice in his veins when the command to hunt is given. he feels uneasy, unsettled, finding himself rolling his shoulders and wondering if he needed to add more stretches into his routines. and yet, despite the tension in his shoulders and the twist in his stomach, he kneels, bowing his head with a swear of fealty that goes unanswered.

unacknowledged.

perhaps he had delivered it wrong?

he doesn’t think much of it, quickly dissolving from the throne room and appearing besides the statue of the seven on the west edge of liyue. looking out over jueyun karst, he knows it’s a bit fruitless to start his search there due to the vicinity to the other adepti, but the spires there are tall, filled with wiry bushes and crags of rock that are easier to hide in than may seem at first glance.

he draws his pole arm, spinning it once over his hand before tapping the end to the stone beneath him. he’s not sure why he’s so nervous—is it the fact that this is technically the first order he’s been given? is it the idea of slaughtering somebody so identical to his creator that it nearly fooled morax, who’s been alive longer than he could fathom?

or is it simply the prospect of failure?

xiao grits his teeth and steps off the edge of the floating stone, halting his fall with anemo at nearly the last possible moment.

his feelings meant nothing. orders were given, and he had to follow them.

why else was he there, if he couldn’t?

it takes him longer than he expected to find you. he’s almost impressed, really, that you managed to evade his searching eyes, that you dodged not only him but the other adepti as well, all without taking refuge in any villages or otherwise civilized areas due to the orders the millelith put out. you hid well, he could attest to that, and though he was the one to find you, it was only on accident.

he was clearing out a group of hilichurls north of the inn. he was surprised so many had settled so close to the statue of the seven, as hilichurls usually avoided concentrated elemental energy, but didn’t think too hard about it. he simply unhooked his mask from his belt, noticing the difference in strength between these hilichurls and the average, and teleported into the middle of the camp.

the first thing he heard was a spotter’s cry. the second was the mitachurls’—archons, there were three—roar as they hefted their weapons. the final one was the intricate chanting of the abyss, but not any incantation he recognized.

he kept himself half in smoke as he danced around the edge of the camp, taking out the archers while he tried to find the abyss mage. he could catch glimpses of hydro bubbles through the walls of the hut, but the steps were covered in frost-

he barely ducked under the swing of a mitachurl’s axe, slashing his spear along its side as he slipped away, darting across the path of one charging with a large stone shield. it clipped his shoulder despite his efforts, pain spiking down his arm, but he didn’t pay attention to the injurh. normally he wouldn’t be this distracted, but two abyss mages and three mitachurls in one camp could only spell bad news. the best he could likely do was to leave and grab back-up, but who? the millelith were busy, morax and the adepti were on their own search…

xiao quickly climbed onto the roof of the hut, jamming his spear between two of the logs to keep grip on the woven roofing. the grass was damp, squishing uber this feet, likely from whatever hydro magic the mage was busy with within it. it likely wasn’t the smartest idea to stand on the roof, but this area of liyue was mostly plains, with little cover from the charging mitachurls. he needed a moment, if only a short one, to hash out a plan to deal with the camp.

the three mitachurls were standing besides the hut, two with shields and one with a crackling axe, electro dancing along the blade. xiao shifted, pivoting around the peak of the hut to move away from that one, the grass roof squishing below his feet.

the mitachurl’s ear twitched.

he shoved himself off the roof just as the mitachurl slammed the flat of its blade onto the roof, the whole shack shaking. electricity swarmed across the waterlogged roofing, reaching the opposite edge just as xiao dropped off it, landing between the other two mitachurls. they didn’t charge, nor attack, their motivations only made clear when the hiss of cryo froze out the lingering moisture in the air in front of him, effectively boxing him in.

the abyss mage swayed in its circle, staff glowing a sharp blue from within its bubble of frost.

“leave, adeptus,” it hissed, waving its staff in a circle. “you have no place here.”

xiao didn’t reply, instead picking apart his options. he couldn’t do significant damage to the shield mitachurls without utilizing his burst to destroy their shields, but that didn’t cover the mage at all… and he was still wet from the roof, so the mage would be able to freeze him within the time he had drawn in enough anemo energy to wield his mask with any level of efficiency…

he flexed his hand around his polearm. how had he gotten into this situation? his only options were to get lucky or teleport away, but even the latter of those relied on the first.

luck. how useless was he, to rely on luck-?

“‘adeptus’?”

the abyss mage startled at the voice, the cryo it had been swirling dissipating. both he and it turned to the side, to the entrance to the hut, where a figure could be seen just beyond the mitachurl.

his first instinct was that it was his god, and he briefly relaxed under the knowledge that he’d get out of this in mostly one piece.

his second was to recognize the torn clothing and dirt-smeared skin, and realize that you could never be his god.

xiao’s eyes narrowed, his spear twisting towards you faster than the distracted mage could react. you, his target, the one he had been seeking out, were hiding behind the abyss. he should have expected it, in truth, figured out the one known for going against the rules of nature would side with the most unnatural force, but that was not for now.

not now, when he was launched forward by the power of anemo, his spear driving him forward, barely skimming the mitachurl in favor of his true target: you.

your eyes barely had the chance to dart in his direction.

xiao was, in truth, not the first one to see you.

many villagers had glimpsed you running around the outskirts of their villages, plucking apples and sunsettias off trees and taking mint from their gardens and leaving bundles of sweet flowers behind instead. they’d seen you, face half-covered in a poor mask made of scraps, your clothes that of the haphazard stitches of the hilichurls, which helped you blend into teyvat a bit more at the price of comfort. many had seen you and assumed you were a run of the mill thief, perhaps one taking advantage of the current hunt since the millelith were occupied. they wryly called you clever, warning the traveling merchants about you, the one they glimpsed at inane hours of night.

he wasn’t the first to see you, by far. he was, however, the first to recognize you.

he was the first to lay eyes upon your form and realize the truth, to realize that the blood seeping into your clothes was the color of stars and galaxies, to recognize that your heart beat blue.

the argument could be made that the hilichurls were the first, or perhaps the mages that had taken you in and brought you food, but it was not them that gathered you into their arms and whisked you away in a flash of teal, uncaring of the spike of cryo that drove into their side at the last minute. the hilichurls did not walk with frosted-over limbs, the abyss did not cry with a throat full of ice, calling for assistance in undoing their own crime.

xiao couldn’t decide whether it was lucky or not that baizhu was in the pharmacy, speaking with herbalist gui over the front desk. on one hand, it was best to have the most experienced healer in liyue at your side, but on the other..

“adeptus xiao, what is-…..”

confusion, then anger, then realization, all flashing over his face in an instant before he tilted his head and walked quickly to a back room, xiao following.

he busied himself with picking the ice off his body and clothes, ignoring the shake of his hands and the stench of blood in the room. the mage had pulled you from the point of his spear, but he still hit the side of your stomach, and he could tell it was messy.

knocks sounded at the door but baizhu turned them away sharply, only allowing qiqi to pass him a bowl of lotus seeds. he was focused, changsheng slithering off his shoulders to grab supplies as needed. time seemed to slow to a crawl, like xiao had entered a domain without an exit, filled with the iron smell of blood and the never ending chips of ice he peeled from his skin. it left behind stinging wounds and red marks, but he couldn’t find it in him to care.

what was his brief moment of injury compared to a scar upon his god?

the moment that baizhu had stopped, all but collapsing into a chair and wiping off his hands with a tired call of ‘it’s done. the foundation will be okay.’ xiao had stood and left, biting his tongue through the protests of both his own body and the doctor.

he’d given changsheng his confession, but he did not wish to stick around and hear his verdict.

weeks later, morax came and visited him at the inn, carrying with him a plate of almond tofu and an apology. xiao leaned against the furthest edge of the balcony, curled around the plate, staying as far as he could from the one with your aura imprinted upon him.

he felt it, when zhongli had first come up the stairs. the shock, then the warmth, the all-encompassing comfort that soothed the pain from the bruising on his shoulder. he felt it, and knew that he did not deserve it.

“it’s not your fault,” zhongli insisted, baritone words colored with unreturned sympathy. “the fake… had fooled us all. even me. i cannot hold your actions against you when i myself would have done the same.”

and maybe that was true. maybe he would have drawn his own weapon, pierced your skin himself, acting on the orders of one who dared to take the place of the divine, but that was irrelevant.

xiao was the one who had hurt you. and it was entirely his fault.

almond tofu, his favorite dish, tasted bitter and sour on his tongue, almost akin to the pain medication that zhongli had made him drink after noticing how cautious he was with his injured arm. he’d made him take the first dose in front of him and swear to take the rest, with a long monologue about taking care of himself tacked on afterwards, but it was for nothing. aside from the first night he had it, xiao hadn’t touched the bottle. it sat on his nightstand, beside a bed he hardly used, taunting him when he returned earlier than usual.

he could take it. there was nothing stopping him from doing so, and he probably should if he wanted to return to his duties quicker. but every time he picked up the glass, thumb tracing over the engravings as he undid the top, he hesitated.

he could take it. he probably should. but did he deserve to?

you were still recovering, possibly still bedridden weeks later. your blood still stained his spear, dripping down to his palms, pale and scarred skin marked further with the blue and purple swirls of his sin. you were still in pain, still healing from a spear to your side, and he was here, reaching for medicine for a sore shoulder?

(it was worse than that. bone had knocked against bone, bruising beneath where muscle could reach. it ached even when he sat as still as possible, dragging him out of every attempt to meditate. the dark purple splotches stretched beyond his clothing, reaching across his back and up his neck, making nearly any action flare the wound. it was far beyond an over-exerted muscle or a particularly tiring day, and yet even the worst nights of his pain were staved off by the memory of having to wash blue off his blade. even as the latch on the bottle was undone, the lip pressed to his, he could never bring himself to drink it)

(even the small droplet of it on the rim, tasting of qingxin extract and violet grass, threatened to make him sick. how dare he?)

yes, it would likely only get him into more trouble were he found out, but he was careful not to be. whenever the wind brought him the heavy presence of geo, zhongli’s familiar footsteps climbing the stairs, he snatched the bottle and emptied it into the stone carving on the balcony, letting the medicine soak into the soil beneath it. it splashed when he was sloppy, the deep purple medicine appearing blue on the stone, sparking a memory that weighed harder on the pit in his stomach.

even as he handed the bottle over to zhongli, his jaw clenched from the strain on his shoulder. the action was stiff, jerky, but evidently smooth enough that it had passed his assessment.

zhongli tucked the bottle away, surprisingly not drawing out a new one.

“i am proud of you, and of the progress you have made,” he said, golden eyes softening in the light of dusk. “well done, xiao.”

how strange, he thought, watching him leave, that the very action that made his vision swim with unshed tears was one that was praised.

he wouldn’t complain, of course. he never would. this pain was his to bear, just as the burden of your bloodshed was his to shoulder. he was well aware his pain could never take back yours—though he wished, desperately, that he could move your injury to him. he wanted to be able to take on the physical reminder of his defect, to take the hit of his own spear to spare you from his lapse in judgement. he would take it, take ten times the pain you endured, if only it meant that your skin was free of his scars.

it would be an honor to assist the divine, even at the price of his own life.

[fuckyourchampionship]

Lando Norris is just stupid, the fucking amoeba has a higher IQ

[magical-mooni]

Sponsorklok!!

I like to imagine this is from an episode where Toki and Murderface are hired to make an advert for an anti bullying campaign. Since Toki's been insanely active on social media, posting pictures and song demos on MySpace and instagram, he's become a fan favourite. That’s the reason he was hired for the campaign, and well, Murderface is there too, to teach the kids not to bully people despite their looks or something. However, the campaign receives a lot of backlash and Toki ends up being bullied by the fans AND Dethklok instead. Idk how that would end up like

[blackfilmmakers]

“Learning more from our cultural consultant Dr. Aomar Boum about the cultural traditions of the Amazigh people in North Africa, including their history of braiding and ornamenting long hair, inspired me to explore a box braids hairstyle for Asha.” -Bill Schwab

So y’all choose to showcase all this “research” by:

1) Ended up not giving Asha any hair ornaments, and a chance to give her a unique and distinct design that helps best represent her culture

2) Choosing micro “box braids” of all afro-based hairstyles to give to Asha, despite the fact that box braids wouldn’t even look like whatever y’all gave Asha. For one thing that particular style takes a lot of time and a lot of hair and a lot of work, all of which Asha would not have, nor do I think that’s even her character. It’s also not a common hairstyle people from North Africa would wear at this time. If they did it’s usually in 2-10 braids

3) Design said box braids in the movie in a way where it’s hard to tell whether they are braids or twists, and honestly I think they do a bit of both. Doesn't help their animation makes everything look muddy, so you really have a hard time telling. And no it's not because of poor YouTube quality, we've seen Disney provide us official screenshots from the movie, it just looks that bad. One side of her hair aren't even box braids, they are clearly cornrows. Not that we don't mix box braids and cornrows into our hair sometimes, but it's obvious yall just didn't care to make the distinction. Here's a hint to recognize box braids: they are parted in "box" sections

4)Making it seem like black hair is stiff and lifeless despite all the movement Asha be doing. There are plenty of references of black girls dancing with their braids yknow, moving. They couldn’t look at any references?

“It’s a fantasy it’s not meant to be accurate” ok then don’t bother consulting with anthropologists on this subject then. Don’t boast how much “research” you guys do only to show that’s not the case and you don’t even listen to the experts. Not that listening to one person is enough. You’re representing a group of people that hardly gets media coverage other than “bad desert brown person”. But I guess that's fitting Disney shows how little they care looking st the genocides they supporting

[lockhartandlych]

We have got to stop using the discarding of mobility aids as a mark of character development.

I have seen so damn much of people's disabilities becoming ✨ magically cured ✨ when they finally learn how to have confidence or some bullshit.

Enough.

How about instead of someone throwing their cane aside, they start to use that cane wherever they go, no matter who may stare?

How about instead of someone in a wheelchair suddenly having a miraculous walking scene, they learn to decorate their chair and make it their own, wrapping spikes around the handles so people stop grabbing them?

How about someone with crutches gaining the confidence to take them on stage?

How about someone with a leg prosthesis wearing shorts in public for the first time, the metal leg on full display?

Hell, how about a character learning to be kind to themself? How about a character learning to use mobility aids instead of trying to force themself to fit the standards of a normative society?

Disability is not sin.

Disability is not weakness.

Disability is not a failure of character.

I'm not physically disabled in these ways, and maybe I'm overstepping by soapboxing like this. But it just seems so fucking unfair that those who are aren't ever allowed a happy ending without magically becoming abled again, as though you can fix a life-changing condition with the power of friendship.

We need to stop writing people healing from permanent disabilities.

We need to start writing people learning to embrace them.

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

is there any shinee show that's kinda underrated in the fandom but is a fun watch??? there's so much content to watch as a new fan and i have seen the popular ones like hello baby n ofd n fbg etc

i think ppl barely talk about key's know how but it's super fun to watch, it also gives a lot of behind stuff that esem used to not give, another key show ppl should watch is keytchen the ep with minho is cute, there's also an ep with taeyeon. you can find both of these easily on yt, they're also subbed. also jonghyun's monthly live connection is a must watch 1 2 3 4. ! hmmmm ot5 shows.... the ultimate group, yang and nam show (eric n/m tw lol), their line music express interview, every blue night shinee appearance 160606 i ii 161121 i ii , shinhwa broadcast, idol army and hmmm watch minho helping victoria in her we got married ep.

also forbidden perfume x shinee interaction, mv bank stardust, high society (its just jinki and key), happy together (jinki + sulli, luna & krystal + tvxq), my last 48 hours with minho part 3 part 4, fantastic duo with jinki , eat sleep eat, 1v100 with jinki, order and cook with jinki and taemin (when they ask u a pw put 121489)

[smile-files]

at the end of the day... suitcase and marshmallow are cool as hell (whatever is going on with knife)

[verved]

connor looks at hank and it's more of a "what not to do" guide on life.

genuinely though, i think whatever connor would learn from hank isn't bc it's being taught. he isn't getting any substantial life advice from the man. i think if he learns anything it's how to walk on eggshells around someone you care about and at what point compassion won't cut it and you have to be assertive.