#hinted moxiety

[loganslowdown4]

Incorrect Quotes

November 2023

- January 2024

Pay It Behind

Factually Incorrect (Logan’s Bday)

Make You Cry

Milkshake. (Intruality)

The Darkness

I Made Tea

Don’t Correct Me

Upsexy

Updog (sequel)

Free Kicks (Demus)

Fluffy The Chicken (sorta logicality IQ sequel)

Chef Compliments (moceit)

Cake Punch

Gay Looks (logince)

Future Nuptials (analogical)

Cold Topic

Fix My Door (Intrulogical)

Nothing Can Cheer Me Up (prinxiety)

Heart Worm (analogical)

Glitter Inside (logince)

Leave Out The Buts

Borrow Your Best Friend (moceit)

Race Up The Stairs (prinxiety)

Pass the Salt

A Video Call (prinxiety)

Insanely Obvious Hints (Moxiety)

Mean Sides (Jan/Remy)

In The Dark (Lomoceit)

Anticipating Needs (Logince)

Principles (prinxiety)

Attic

Chores Before Whores (moceit)

Bisexual Hands (logicality)

My Job Is Sword

Stress Ball

Bored Drama

Light Me Up (royality; anxceit)

Come Out (royality)

Loud Annoying Kidnapping

Flowers For You (multi ship)

Maternal Figure/Problem Child

Bad Boys With Kittens

Everyone To Therapy! (Emile’s Birthday!)

Hugging The Ground

Wrong Lunch

Time Is A Construct (Vee’s Birthday)

Swinging At Demons

Pits Of Hell Bath Bomb

Can’t Swim

Where’s the trust?

Christmas Dinner

Straight Up Cry

Bang Your Fist Against Mine

Surgery

Never Moved So Fast

YOU’RE IN CHARGE?!

NYE Sanders Sides

Queerios

Bath Toaster

Uncooperative

Screw Me If I’m Wrong (prinxiety)

We Thought You Knew (analogical)

Irresponsible

Fell Onto His Lips (logince)

[thetomorrowshow]

Slower Than Words Ch. 6

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12

I have suddenly found myself with the intense need to rearrange future chapters (of which there are currently five), so some things won’t happen in the same way--but hopefully better ways, if this works out! This shouldn’t delay any chapters lol.

cw: food mentions, panic, blood mention, unethical surgery/experiments (in the recent past)

~

Patton had eaten five meals, and Virgil still wasn't back yet. He tried to not panic. His ears and head still ached from whatever operation he'd went through—which he had suspicions about. Were they trying to make him hear? It hadn't worked, if that was it. And if so, were they currently trying to cure Virgil's blindness?

There wasn't much to do, without Virgil there. Patton walked around the room constantly, refusing to pull their book from under the pillow without Virgil there. He made up new signs to teach Virgil when he got back, one for 'hope' and another for 'out' and a third for 'free'. He washed his shirt in the sink, froze when he went to hang it on the unused bed and saw Virgil's hoodie already there. He completely broke down when the next meal arrived, still only one serving on the tray.

After the sixth meal, Patton just stopped. He couldn't imagine life without Virgil, so he just stopped everything. The seventh meal was pushed through the flap, but Patton couldn't find the motivation to get off the bed. He'd never felt this way before—even when Father had been taken, he'd continued to go about his life. He'd been rather disconnected for some time, but he hadn't just fallen apart like this.

What did Virgil mean to him? Patton tried to tell himself to grow up. Why was he this hung up over an Outsider? But Virgil wasn't just an Outsider, wasn't he? Virgil was . . . more. More than a friend, more than anyone in the Haven, more than the so-called 'Prophets' that led them. Virgil made him feel all funny in his stomach when he smiled, made him laugh with his wry looks, made Patton feel safe when he held him. Was that . . . love?

Then the eighth meal didn't arrive when it was supposed to. Patton wasn't sure how he knew that—some sixth sense, probably. It confused him, and just as he was sitting up, the door opened.

Two men dragged a soaked, pale body into the room, and it took Patton far too long to recognize his Virgil. The man was shaking, utterly convulsing, and had it not been for the look that one of the men—'Brother' Coleman, Patton thought snidely—leveled at him, Patton would have already been on the floor, holding Virgil close. Instead, he curled back onto the bed slightly, seeing the men laugh at his submission then leave the room, slamming the door behind them.

Patton dove to the ground and took Virgil by the shoulder, intending to wrap him in a hug. He pulled back as if he'd touched a stove when Virgil violently flinched away. He couldn't hurt him, not Virgil! Still, he needed Virgil to know he was safe. Patton took his wrist as gently as possible, slowly tracing his own name onto Virgil's arm. Virgil relaxed considerably, his mouth moving in the way that Patton knew formed his own name. His screwed-shut eyes relaxed, then his head slumped, his body slowly losing all the tension it had been holding. He was still shuddering, sending droplets of water every which way, but Patton assumed he was asleep.

I'm sorry, Virgil. He wasn't strong enough to pick Virgil up, despite being the larger one of the two. Father had never let him build muscles, always signing something about 'being seen as a threat' when Patton asked why. Instead, he eased Virgil out of his sopping t-shirt and jeans and stripped the two blankets from the bed, wrapping him in them instead. For the moment, he left the sopping clothes on the floor as he brushed Virgil's wet hair out of his face. The man's hair had grown too long in the months they'd been captive, almost curling around his shoulders. Virgil's forehead was far too hot (the rest of his body clammy and cold) and Patton could have cried—was crying, because this was the only person who cared about him, the only person he cared about, and he could be dying! They'd hurt Virgil, those monsters, doing it in the name of some stupid religion!

Patton's eyes burned, but he pushed aside his roiling feelings in favor of easing a pillow under Virgil as he noticed how his head was bumping up and down as he shook. Virgil needed his help, and being upset about something he couldn't control wouldn't help him.

Patton gently took Virgil's hand, slowly caressing his knuckles. The man stayed asleep, though the line between his eyes smoothed out just the slightest bit. Another tear slipped from Patton's eye. They'd hurt him, they'd hurt him and they didn't care! Not only had they hurt Virgil, an Outsider—his blood boiled at the term—but they'd hurt Patton, a brother like them!

No, Patton had never been a brother. He was different. Maybe they'd thought if they were able to fix him he could be just like them. As a child, all he'd wanted was to be normal, be like them. Even up until recently he'd wished for it, knowing that if he could hear, they wouldn't have locked him up like this, hurting him in their attempts to make him right.

Now, though, Patton knew he never wanted to be like them. They were terrible; the way they treated Patton had nothing to do with his disability and everything to do with the type of horrible people they were. They preached love and caring, while those who didn't fit precisely into their ideal world were forced to conform or suffer—or both, in his case.

These people, these people that Patton had once considered himself one of, had tortured him—locked him up—kidnapped and tortured Virgil, gods, they were monsters!

Patton fully sobbed now, careful to not grip Virgil's hand too tight and wake him up. He had never wanted to leave this place more in his life. If they could get out, everything would be so much better. He would actually be able to take care of Virgil, to keep him safe and close. They would never touch Virgil again.

-

Patton knew when Virgil woke up, as the body beside him began to tremble. After around twenty minutes of Virgil being asleep and Patton rubbing his limbs with one of the blankets, the shaking had begun to die down. Patton hadn't slept at all, his blood still boiling, so he'd been awake hours later when Virgil's flushed face cooled down, the fever breaking.

Now, Patton watched with bated breath as those beautiful, clouded grey eyes flickered open—but they weren't. They were red, bloody, filled with pain. Patton forced himself to not pull back as his stomach lurched. Virgil's brow furrowed deeply, then his eyes closed again as his lips moved.

Patton gripped his wrist gently, letting him know he was there. He quickly spelled out Virgil's name, watching and sighing at the smile that flitted onto Virgil's face. Virgil's hand shakily traced a 'P' back before falling.

The food had arrived not long before, so Patton gently tugged Virgil into his lap and pressed a cup of water to his lips. Virgil obediently took a sip, chest twitching as he almost choked. A quick question of food? had Virgil nodding, so Patton scooped up a small amount of instant mashed potatoes, then another when it was gone. Virgil only managed half the serving before he had to tap out, shaking more than earlier.

Patton knew that it would help Virgil to be on the bed, but with the way his legs were twitching he didn't think it would be wise to try to help him stand. So, he did the only thing he could think of to comfort him—get his hoodie and curl up at his side.

Virgil cried when Patton wrapped the hoodie around him, tugging at Patton's heartstrings. All he wanted in life were two things:

To comfort Virgil in any way possible, and

To get revenge on the bastards that hurt him.

Virgil didn't seem to want to sleep again, so Patton left him for a moment—only a moment, but it had Virgil shaking harder—and returned with their book, opening it to page sixty-eight, where they had left off last. Only ten words in, Virgil jerked his arm away. Patton waited patiently. Virgil was likely experiencing sensory overload, which happened occasionally depending on how anxious he was. Patton didn't move, and soon Virgil tapped a short sentence into his arm.

Please hold.

Patton melted, then placed the book aside and wrapped his arms around Virgil. He squeezed the man's shoulders gently, and Virgil buried his face into his chest and wept.

I'm here, Patton did his best to telepathically communicate. I'm here and I love you and I won't hurt you.

If Virgil understood, he didn't show it. Patton settled for pulling him closer, rubbing slow circles into his back and nuzzling his nose into Virgil's hair.

I love you. I love you so much.

~

Taglist (ask to be added/removed): @enragedbees @gotta-love-alejandra @bunny222 @basiic-emo @patt0n-sanders @rosiepupper @fangirlgeekandfreak @dn-fan21 @that2000skid @remy-the-lemon-berry @itsadastraperaspera @xionbean @sanderssides-angst @hell-yea-we-gay-tonight @maybedefinitely404

[the18thmeatball]

So, I took this and kinda ran with it. Here you go.

A Wink and an Impulse

Sitting in their little college dorm, Logan looked at Virgil a little weird. When Virgil finally realized something was up, he moved a bit closer to his best friend of nine years.

“Virgil, before you say anything, I need to get something off my chest.”

A little taken aback, Virgil prompted him to go on. “I think I might have romantic feelings for someone.” Seeing as Virgil hardly reacted, Logan continued. “One of our friends, and I don’t know what to do.”

Virgil looked a bit sceptic, and quickly reminded Logan that Patton was his.

“I know, I like Roman.”

Virgil just stared blankly. “You know he’s straight, right?” It came out of his mouth before he knew what to do.

“Oh. Didn’t he go to pride last year?”

“He’s trans, Lo.”

“Didn’t he also have a boyfriend?”

Virgil decided to go with it, he felt kinda bad but he already ruined Logan. Besides, this was kind of fun.

“It was an experimental thing, he told us that.”

“He did? When?”

“Must have been when you were to focused in falling in love.”

“What? I’m not in love with him. It might not even be a romantic thing, you know how I am with emotions.”

“Whatever, good luck!” Virgil shouted as he started running to Patton’s place down the hall to tell him hiw badly he messed up.

——————————————————————

The next few weeks went by like clockwork, save for the few times Roman looked at Logan directly. That had absolutely destroyed the love stricken robot.

Logan had to act normal until Roman winked at him. He winked. At him. How in the whole wide world can you recover from a gorgeous boy winking at you? If a little wink like that sent him over the edge, Logan needed to do something.

“Hey, Roman! Can I talk to you for a bit?”

“Uh, yeah. Sure. What’s up?”

“I have romantic feelings for a man I believe to be straight. What should I do?”

Roman looked dejected as he answered “I think you should tell him, to get closure. And who knows? Maybe he’s just in the closet.” Roamn started to walk away but stopped when he heard Logan say:

“Maybe. Roman, I have romantic feelings for you. I know Virgil told me that you’re straight, but-“

“You think I’m straight?!” Roman yelled with a look of pute disbelief on his face. “I had a boyfriend for three months. I went to pride!”

“Well, in my defense you are trans.”

“I had a rainbow flag.”

“You could have been doing it in alliance.”

“I kissed a guy.”

“Maybe you were just trying to prove a point, you are very theatrical.”

“And I thought me being so theatrical was kind of a gay stereotype, but apparently you can’t read in between the lines.”

“I hate stereotypes. You know that. Besides I just told you that I have romantic feelings for you. Isn’t that a little more important?”

“Yeah sure, I like you too. But you thought I was straight?”

“Virgil told me you were about a month ago, so I thpught he was just saving from inevitable heartbreak.”

“Virgil told you I’m straight?”

“Yes, I thought that was obvious.”

“That little fu-“

“Hey, don’t talk bad about him.”

“Also, you said that you like me?”

It was now Roman’s turn to panic. Logan was now smirking at him and had stolen all of Roman’s confidence.

“Well, I mean- I do, but I don’t- I like you.” Roman stuttered with as much finesse as a newborn deer on ice.

“Roman, may I kiss you?”

“What?”

The confidence drained from Logan as he defended himself.

“Isn’t that what people with mutual romantic feelings do?”

“Sometimes, yeah.”

They looked at each other sheepishly until Roman couldn’t take it anymore. He surged froward and pulled Logan down by his tie.

——————————————————————

That was seven years ago. The two “love birds” (as Patton called them) were in the living room of their apartment, slow dancing to Ed Sheeran. They’ve been together through all of those seven years. All because of one wink and an impulse.

Let me know if you like it! I’d be happy to take writing requests btw.

Ts Sides Fanfic Idea

This would be a human au or just not a Thomas-verse au but someone tells someone that’s crushing on like Roman that Roman is straight -as a joke- cuz u know he’s the the furthest thing from straight

But then the person that’s told that believes it and they mention it back to the original person who’s like “yeah right” before realizing they’re serious and actual believe Ro is straight and just break down laughing

I feel like Logince would be rly cute here but go with whatever ship u want!!! Pictured the friend as Remy but that could fit a lot of them :)))

[ifeellikeameowster]

What the sides gift Virgil for his birthday!

Logan gives him more ebooks and podcasts he thinks would soothe or interest Virgil. Roman gives him all of his favorite emo band albums but as vinyls because ~classy vintage aesthetic~. Patton gives him a few stress ball plushies ( a black cat, a Jack Skellington, etc). Deceit gives him several creepy cute accessories (such as skeleton hand hair clips, bat wing bows, ouija planchette earrings, crow skull ring, etc.)

Bonus: Remus hunts down one of his favorite cryptids and gives it to him as a new pet. (Like a small, fluffy mothman or jersey devil.) (Also if it’s a mothman they end up naming it Luna Mothballs Mothra because they couldn’t agree on just one name. They call it Mothra for short though.)

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

An Open and Honest Conversation About Our Feelings

Ao3,  MasterPost

Relationships: Moxiety, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Roceit and Intrulogical.

Warnings: Food mention, all sympathetic sides, swearing, crying, hurt/comfort, excessive fluff and somftness. 

Word Count: 1,779

Virgil woke up at 12:00PM dull every day, because there are no rules in quarantine and fuck you. And due to the fact that all of his fellow sides continued to maintain ‘reasonable’ sleep schedules (nerds), he was almost always the last awake. Today was seemingly no exception, as Virgil trudged down the stairs with a yawn to find his family long done with breakfast.

 Janus was the first to register his presence, curled up in the corner of the sectional with Roman. 

“There’s something breakfast-adjacent left for you in the kitchen,” he informed with a mischievous look at the trait beside him.

“We were working with what we had! I’m sorry I’m not a master chef like Dad.” Roman argued, prompting Logan to peek his head in from the kitchen. 

“The more you call Patton that, the more I worry that it’s some kind of complex.”

He ducked into the other room before Roman could effectively throw a pillow at him. 

“Remus is a terrible influence on you!” 

There was a shrill laugh from the kitchen. 

“Damn right I am!”

Virgil shook his head at the interaction and contemplated going right back to bed. There was something bugging him, though. 

“So where is Pat?”

“He wasn’t here when we came down. We decided to let him sleep in. Totally not like he needs it,” Janus said idly. 

That on it’s own would be fine (he really did need a day off), but Patton was asleep later than Virgil? At the very least it was weird. But nobody else seemed particularly concerned about the side, and Anxiety wasn’t always the best judge of what was and was not worth freaking out over. He pushed it out of mind and went to find something to eat. Patton was probably fine. Probably. 

It was 3:00pm and things were not fine. No one had seen a trace of Patton all day. After surmising that all of the idiots Virgil inhabited a brain space with weren’t correctly worried, he took matters into his own hands. He glared at his best friend’s door for a good time before he finally caved and knocked, hoping for nonchalance (how do you knock nonchalantly? Probably not like that, dude). After all, maybe Patton really had just overslept. For eight hours. Yeah. 

There was a slight gasp from behind the door. Virgil felt his stomach drop and listened closely for a response. 

“Who is it?” Morality’s voice was barely audible, a rasping and raw croak. He very clearly hadn’t been getting any sleep, let alone extra. Virgil placed his hand on the door.

“It’s- it’s me.” 

No response.

“Can I come in?”

There was a beat, and then the lock clicked open. Anxiety took a steadying breath before entering Morality’s room, carefully closing the entryway behind him. His eyes widened at the scene before him.

Patton was laying on top of the covers in his bed. His eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, not to mention so unfocused that you’d think that nobody was home behind them. Tears tracked down his face and turned his complexion worryingly red, a contrast to the gray of his cat sweater. 

“...Pat?” Virgil whispered. Patton tilted his head and attempted to smile at him, which only served to be more heart-wrenching to see than the dull upset that previously encompassed his expression.

“Hey, Virge. What’s up?”

Virgil snorted, but there was no humor in the sound. 

“That’s what I wanna know,” he sat on the edge of the bed, maintaining a respectful distance, “C’mon, you can talk to me.”

“...Can I?”

The question was nearly silent, but Anxiety couldn’t have missed it in a thunderstorm. The trait blinked in a mix of concern and confusion.

“Uh, yeah? I mean, I won’t make you, but you’re always trying to talk me down when I get upset, or whatever. That’s what friends are for, right?”

Patton pushed himself up, leaning back against his pillows.  When he looked at Virgil again, he didn’t pretend to smile. 

“You don’t have to do this.”

“What?”

“I- I know that I’ve been a lot lately. I know you need space right now, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to be here for me. I’ll be okay, it’s just one of those days- you know?” 

Virgil’s stomach sank as realization dawned on him. 

“What are you talking about?” he needed to hear it. 

“You- well- you kinda… snap at me? Whatever I say always seems to be… the wrong thing to say. I’m sure you have a reason for being upset with me, though! And you don’t have to tell me what it is, either,” Patton kept his eyes down as he spoke, “It’s fine, really!”

Anxiety didn’t know what to say. Or maybe he didn’t know what not to say, because there was so much that he should be saying. He could see his friend- his best friend, always there for him even when it was excessive- trying not to cry again. It hurt to look at, it was heartbreaking to look at in a way it really shouldn’t have been. 

His mind flashed with all the times he’d berated Patton, or shut him down, or just brushed him off- and wasn’t not being listened to exactly what made him treat Morality worse in the first place? How hadn’t he noticed before?

Oh god, Virgil had been quiet too long and he still had no clue what to say. This was why talking about emotions wasn’t in his department!

Virgil twisted his fingers in his sleeve as an idea formed. He inched a little closer to Patton, trying to will away the nervousness and regret that creeped in him so he could focus. Patton watched him from the corner of his eye as Anxiety took his hand and entwined their fingers. 

The moral trait looked up at him with scores of conflicting emotions flitting across his face. Virgil outstretched his other arm, an offering that he rarely gave to anyone and one he almost never gave to anybody other than Patton. 

The side threw himself into Virgil’s arms without hesitation, hiding his face in the fabric of his hoodie. Virgil wrapped his arms around Morality’s shaking shoulders and held him close.

“I didn’t-” his voice cracked. Shit, try again.

“You’re amazing, Pat. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t mad at you, like, not really.”

Patton’s head was resting on his collarbone. He took deep, shuddering breaths as his shaking abated. Virgil continued.

“This is all my fault, I should have just talked to you-”

Patton shook his head sharply.

“Me feeling bad wasn’t ‘cuz of you. It happens. And you did talk to me about what was wrong, I’m the one that didn’t listen-”

“I didn’t listen either, I just brushed you off! I made you feel like I didn’t want to be around you!”

“That’s exactly what I did to you! T-The first part.”

“It’s different-”

Patton cut him off with laughter, his eyes crinkling up at the edges. Virgil was only surprised for a moment before he cracked up too, letting the situation really sink in. How were they both so dumb?

A few times over they stopped, looked at each other, had another bout of giggles, and had to calm down again. Patton had gradually moved so that he was sat on Virgil’s lap, which certainly didn’t help alleviate the giddiness in his chest. 

“I’m really bad at this,” Anxiety said, sliding his arms down to hold around Morality’s waist.

“At what?” 

“Don’t know. Talking about stuff.”

“Me too. Don’t tell anybody though, I have a reputation.” 

Virgil gave another laugh and rested his chin on Patton’s head. 

They breathed.

“I’m tired, Vee.” 

“Same.”

“No, I meant... emotionally.”

“I know what you meant, Pat.”

Without another word, Patton pulled the both of them down to lie on the bed. He kicked his feet under his comforter and muttered that ‘a nap might help anyway’, and ‘would you stay? Please?’, and there wasn’t a chance that Anxiety could say no to that if he wanted to (which he did not). 

They exchanged some more whispered conversation while wrapping themselves with blankets. As the minutes passed, Virgil couldn’t help focusing on the way his friend’s arms tightened around his waist, or the way he laughed into his shoulder and pressed somehow closer. Virgil’s heart picked up- he didn’t like physical contact on the best of days, and this was more than he could ever remember enduring. The strange thing this time was that he wasn’t uncomfortable with it, no, he felt safe and warm and cared for and so so so-

Oh, fuck. 

“-irgil? Virgil?” 

“Sorry- yeah?”

Morality pulled back a bit. Virgil hoped to God that he wouldn’t dwell on the zoning out. Thankfully, he seemed to have something else on his mind.

“Thank you. For everything. This is just what I needed.” 

Patton was watching him with just an impossibly sweet expression. Virgil felt a spike of something- bravery, stupidity, recklessness, whatever you wanted to call it- in his chest. He couldn’t not say those three little words, not for another second. 

“I love you.”

Patton smiled so wide it looked painful, laughing giddily.

“I love you, too!”

“No,” immediately his fear was back tenfold and this was an awful idea, “I- I meant like, ro-”

“I know what you meant, Virge,” Patton said softly, looking amused and oh-so smitten. Virgil swallowed, pressing their foreheads together. His face was on fire and his chest hurt and his throat was dry but he couldn’t help smiling back at his friend- best friend- boyfriend?- his Patton.

The Heart tilted his head forwards a bit, bumping their noses together.

“Can I…?”

Virgil nodded quickly, accidentally shifting the trait’s glasses. Patton giggled, removing them and placing them on the bedside table before bringing his hands up to cup Virgil’s face and resuming their position. Gently- achingly gently- he pressed their lips together. Anxiety felt himself melt. The kiss was soft and sweet and cautious; it felt hours long and too short at the same time. When they broke apart, Patton looked at him like he’d hung the stars in the sky (Virgil was sure that his expression was much the same, but he wasn’t particularly worried about his reputation at that moment). 

“Thanks,” Patton said once more, laying his head back down on Virgil’s chest. The trait grasped for some response that could possibly articulate all that he was feeling, but by the time he opened his mouth, Morality was already asleep. With an amused huff, he followed suit and got some much needed rest.

@shrimp-crockpot

[stargayzingidiot]

Y’all, the lil au I’m writing right now is so brilliant! I don’t know why I thought of it, but I am so excited to post it later!!

[logan-sanders-is-my-binch]

Absolutely, (Sanders Alt of Melodee)

Like- Roman Fuming to his older brother who works under the Theatre teacher for work experience in his resume,

And Dee just lamenting his melodramatic Ballads to Virgil, to which they both jam out to mcr to stop talking about boys (like idk Virgil was flustered about a cutie in his cooking class)

Logan threatening the two "if any shenanigans ensue I'll be sure to alert Remy- er- Mr Narc," roman thinking in his head 'just cause you and my brother work under him and can call him his Name doesnt mean you can boss me around >:^,'

Bro what if Roceit but its Highschool enemies to lovers "oh its probably Dee is Alt and Ro is a pre-" NO THEY'RE BOTH JUST REALLY SNARKY THEATRE KIDS @EACHOTHER, sksksk just like- "oh, i'm sure you'll get *a* role, we could always do with another ensemble member " and Roman Retorting back a "of course, and- surely you're going to get your dream role of Hamilton?" "What?" "He never shuts up,"

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOU AND LOVE THIS IDEA WITH MY ENTIRE BEING dhejeiiwkkwo them getting the lead roles, who are romantically invested with each other wink wink nudge nudge. At first they’re both mortified and frustrated and Roman could do nothing more than complain, Deceit just fuming in the corner. But eventually they hang out, fall in love, kiss, all the good gay stuff.

[hi-its-tutty]

“I Guess I’d Be A Hero...”

paring: hints? of prinxiety? there’s platonic moxiety!

wc: 1615

tw: mentions of death, weaponry, violence (it’s a shrek the musical au i mean what do you expect-)

summary: Patton asks Virgil if he ever dreamed of what he could be, instead of who he is, and Virgil, well, Virgil gives the most honest answer he can. (Shrek the Musical au!)

All of his life, Virgil had to stop himself from dreaming. 

Well, that wasn’t exactly completely true. From the moment he turned seven and was told by his parents that he’d be completely ostracized from society and never be seen as nothing more than a threat, he had to stop himself from dreaming. He still remembered the words they told him.

“It’s a big bright beautiful world out there,” his mom told him, cupping his cheek and wiping away his tears (he had just been told that they were sending him away. Could you blame him for crying?). “A magical land full of sunshine and happiness, and every dream comes true! But not for you!”

Needless to say, Virgil didn’t exactly have the best outlook on life. 

How could he? Every time anyone saw him, they screamed and turned the other direction. He didn’t have to roar half the time to get those widened eyes and that terrified look (but the roar definitely helped to get them running away). He always heard the same exact thing every single time. “O-o-ogre!” they whimpered before Virgil took a single step towards them and they started screaming (and Jesus Christ people had shrill screams). 

He never considered not being on ogre. It was too painful to pretend that he could be anything but completely terrifying. That he would ever amount to anything other than a figure of fear. That he would ever be seen as anything other than green and scary. (And seriously, why green? It was probably the ugliest color on the planet. Why couldn’t he be colored a better color, like purple? If he had to stick out from society, at least make it slightly less disgusting. Though, with his life, it made sense that he was doomed to be the worst color in existence.)

“No, Patton. I cannot, and never will be able to be anything other than an ogre,” he said when Patton, a talking donkey who he was forced to travel with to rescue a princess-that-turned-out-to-be-a-prince (long story) asked him if he ever thought about being anything other than an ogre. 

“Come on, Virgil! You’ve never thought of it?” Patton asked. 

Once. He’s thought of it once. It was the day he was kicked out of his cushy life with semi-loving parents. He spent hours walking in silence in a random direction, thinking about ways his life could’ve gone different if he was literally any other person. Then, as soon as he started smiling to himself at the thought of being in a cozy home, with a fireplace and his mom and dad being there to smile and kiss him goodnight, he saw a person who screamed “Ogre! Big, fat, ugly ogre!” and ran away.

Virgil hasn’t thought of it since. 

“No. Never,” he said, semi-lying but who cares? He wasn’t exactly a beacon of honesty. 

“Well, why don’t you think of it now? Come on, just answer the question! If you could be anyone but an ogre, what would you be?” Patton insisted, with that smile of his that Virgil (begrudgingly, and he’d never, ever admit it) had barely begun to slightly enjoy. 

“I’d be an ogre, but living in my swamp, away from anyone and everyone,” Virgil deadpanned, just staring off into the stars. 

“Just play along! Okay, if a guy held a sword at you, like held you at sword point and said, ‘Look here! You can’t be an ogre anymore! Pick something else!’ what would you say?” Patton asked, sitting too close to Virgil for his liking.

“Okay, first of all, bold of you to assume I wouldn’t let him stab me, and second of all, I would just pick him up and hurl him into a tree, how’s that for an answer?” Virgil said, decidedly not looking at Patton (he swore, if he heard a single sniffle come from that guy). 

Silence. 

No sniffle. 

“What do you have against the world, Virgil?” Patton asked quietly. 

“I don’t have anything against the world, Patton. It’s the world that has something against me. Look at me, look at Roman! You saw how he reacted when he saw me! People take one look at me and they run for their lives. They judge me before they even know me,” Virgil said, not looking at Patton. He wasn’t sure if he could right now. “That’s why I’m better off alone.”

“You know, Virgil, when we met, I didn’t go running for my life,” Patton said, making Virgil actually turn to look at him. 

There was Patton, hairy face and all. Those weird circles of black fur around his eyes that made him look like he had glasses. Just sitting down weirdly, like a dog. Concerned. Caring. It almost made Virgil sick. 

But it didn’t. Unless a little lifting of his heart counted as being sick. 

“Yeah, I know,” Virgil said quietly, offering the tiniest tilt upwards of the corner of his mouth. 

“So there’s really no one else you’d rather be?” Patton asked softly. 

Virgil turned back to look at the stars, as if they had an answer, and he thought and he thought and he thought. He couldn’t bear to think that he could be anything other than what he was. He accepted long ago that he was forced to be in this body, in this life. Thinking otherwise hurt too much. 

Virgil scoffed. This whole thing was stupid, anyway. What was the point of hoping that he could be anything different than what he was? He turned back to Patton, ready to say that he was done with this question, and that they should just go to bed, but then he saw those stupid hopeful eyes and a small smile, and he just couldn’t break his heart. 

“I guess I’d be a hero, with the shining armor and everything,” Virgil said, turning back to the sky. “I’d have a sword and a shield, who knows, maybe I’d look semi-decent too.” 

“Hey, you look perfectly decent right now!” Patton said, making Virgil turn back to him, a deadpan expression on his face. 

“I meant what I said,” Patton said unapologetically, and Virgil laughed before continuing. 

 “Or, you know, I’d be like, a viking or something. Traveling the seas and going on dangerous quests everyday as I fight for glory.” Virgil was starting to smile now, his mind filled with thoughts that he hadn’t let himself think since he was seven. “I’d go on adventures everyday, taste the water and smell the sea.

“Or, you know, I could be a poet. They’re cool. I could spin stories out of nothing, telling tales of daring adventures, and love and happily ever afters. The stars would like, give me inspiration or something, or at least that’s what I’d tell everyone. Really, I’d get all my inspiration from the village, and by watching the little kids play random games.” 

Virgil turned to Patton, who was watching everything with a smile. “I think that’s who I’d be.” 

“Then why don’t you? You could go on adventures, you know. We’re on one right now. You could become a poet and break the stereotypes of ogres,” he said, his voice way too optimistic for what Virgil was saying. 

“And what opportunities would I have to do that, Patton?” Virgil asked, feeling his heart sink. “Look at me. I’m an ogre whether I like it or not. I’m forced to hide away in my swamp, growling at everyone who dares step into the goop.” He gave a bitter laugh. “I’m forced to stay alone. In the dark. With nobody.”

“But if things were different…”

“If things were different, I’d definitely be a hero,” Virgil decided, looking down and nodding to himself. “I’d scale a large tower, and defeat a large dragon with one swipe of my completely polished sword, I’d gain glory for myself, and for the princess I’m supposed to save! Or, you know, prince.” He glanced at the cave Prince Roman was sleeping in. Something about going to sleep before sunset so he could catch his beauty sleep. Whatever. “I’d climb up the tower, and declare that I was his rescuer. We would stand in the tower, and look off into the sky. I’d tell him stories of my dashing adventure. And once sunset hit, we’d have true loves kiss, and I’d have a perfect hero’s ending. A happily ever after.” Virgil smiled, imagining the possibilities of this new world. He swore he could see the stars dance in the sky, telling the story of Virgil, the brave knight. “Wouldn’t that be the life,” he muttered, looking wistful. “It really would be a big, bright, beautiful world.”

Virgil sighed, and turned back to Patton, whose eyes had gone misty, and he was sniffling. “But it’s not. At least, not for me.” 

If things were different…

If he wasn’t a goddamn ogre. 

“You said you were better off being alone,” Patton said quietly.

“I am,” Virgil replied with a shrug, remembering why he didn’t think of this kind of stuff. Reality always came to stab him in the back, reminding him that no, he would not get a happy ending. His happily ever after ended with him being defeated, and the town rejoicing. His ended included pitchforks and torches, not wedding bells and sunsets. 

“But you’re not alone,” Patton said, scooting closer to Virgil. “You have me.”

Virgil huffed a laugh, and put his arm around Patton. “I guess I do.”

And as they both stared off into the stars in the sky, Virgil allowed himself the slightest sliver of hope. 

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to dream. Not if he had someone to dream with him. 

thank you for reading! and if you'd like, check out my ao3! or, if you like what i do, drop me a request in my inbox, or even drop me a ko-fi! thank you again, it means the world to me! hope you have a wonderful day! <3

[lovelylogans]

bluebellflames replied to your post “me: you know what??? it’s been a while since i posted a good old...”

oh my god

as an experiment i’m gonna see how many words i’ve added since i put up that post... what, yesterday, i suppose?

....uh.

[subloganrights]

Well, how about Trans!Patton (ftm) walking around the mind palace with nothing but pastel underwear (he is post top surgery in my mind but he can be in whatever stage of his transition in your mind), vibrating butt plug in his ass and the wet spot next to his junk is visible to anyone. He is looking for attention and his bf(s) give it to him as soon as they see ~E

I mean wouldn’t he get chilly? he might need to wrap himself up in his fave emo bois hoodie for warmth (and also bc it smells like him and that gets him off even more)

[rainconfettis]

Comfort Cats (Sanders Sides Week(?))

Hello and welcome to this Sanders Sides week prompt list i have that i screenshotted and did not get the original posters name in so I’m left with the anxiety that someone will be mad i didnt @ them

First up: Morality and Anxiety.

Really short thing, i didn’t want to add anything to it and ruin it

One happy footstep after the other trailed its way toward Virgil’s room. Patton was practically bouncing. In his hands sat a stuffed animal, and not just any stuffed animal. This was a special one, that Patton had been waiting on for so long. He stopped in front of the door, shaking with excitement. The animal is shifted into one hand so that he could knock on the door. Before he could even try the knob, Virgil opens the door, and gives a small wave to motion him to come in. Patton did so willingly, shutting the door softly behind him. The stuffed animal is placed behind his back, shielding it from Virgil’s sight.

“So Virge, son, my child,” Patton started, smiling every time Anxiety rolled his eyes, “I know today hasn’t been your day, and you would love to hide in your room blasting your lovely music, but the guys and I wanted to tell you that if you wanted to talk about it,” he pulled the stuffed toy from behind his back, “you can always come to us. You know that, right?” He smiled, and handed the animal to Virgil.

Virgil stared, wordless. It was a black and white tuxedo cat, with a purple jacket that looked just like his. He looked up at Patton, and saw him staring at it with pride.

“You… you made this?”

“Well, yes. It took a long time to get the jacket right. It was going to be a birthday present, but it di-oof” he's cut off when Virgil tackles him in a hug. They both sway, but keep their balance. Virgil is sniffling, the cat held carefully in one hand.

“I love it.” He murmurs, his forehead resting on Patton’s shoulder.

Patton smiled, “I’m glad.”

“I love you.”

Patton felt his heart swell, and held Virgil a little tighter, “I love you too.”

Virgil followed Patton downstairs that day. He laid on the couch, head in Patton’s lap, feet on a pillow in Roman’s. Logan sat on the floor in front of the couch. They were there for a majority of the day, talking. Virgil told them everything on his mind, from his worries about Thomas to his own self-security. He wanted to be open and honest from now on, and the others agreed to do so as well.

When the day turned into night, the sides settled back on the couch. They talked more, then turned on the TV to unwind and relax together. They fell asleep together, Virgil’s head on Patton’s shoulder, Roman laying on Virge’s lap, and Logan leaning on Roman. The cat was sitting half on Patton’s lap, half in between the two, guarding them while they sleep.

-

The cat became a regular appearance: tucked into Virgil’s hood when he had a bad day, sitting on the coffee table when they watched Steven Universe together, on one of the sides (usually Patton) nightstand when Virgil refused to be alone. It was passed from person to person sometimes. Roman, in a creative block, cuddles with it under a mountain of blankets. Logan broods in a corner with the cat and a book. Patton has it sitting on a counter top as he cry-sings to Bare: A Pop Opera for the 30th time.

Virgil didn’t mind. He liked that something could equally help everyone. It also helped him talk to the others. When he felt he needed the cat, he would go to whoever had it, which usually ended with him sitting on a chair or bed or the floor, talking through his problem and holding the cat in his hands. He liked that a lot better than before. The others did a similar thing, but Virgil could tell sometimes when a side just needed the cat, and not a chat.

So yeah, he didn’t mind sharing. He was Anxiety, the fears and worries. He liked having a symbol of comfort for others. It made him feel good. He’d cuddle up to Patton some nights, just whispering his thanks. His voice was sleepy and quiet, and Patton would run his fingers through his hair, and tell him it’s okay.

“I wanted something to make you happy.” He would usually murmur, glancing at the stuffed toy by the pillow.

Virgil tilted his head, looking at Patton, “But I already have something that makes me happy.” He would usually respond, and curl up next to the other. Patton was silent after that, smiling in the dark until he fell asleep.

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

For @amazon-me-bitches who asked for a follow up to my still untitled Pirate AU fic with Creativitwins and Moxiety

Getting Out Of Hand

Word Count: 3800

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Intrulogical, Moxiety, Creativitwins, future Roceit

Warnings: pirate stuff, swearing, surprise amputations, morbid jokes, past violence, injury, getting drunk, puking

~~~START~~~

“I don’t need a babysitter!” The doors to Janus’s office flew open, banging against the wall.

“Hello, Virgil,” Janus greeted, not taking his eyes off the parchment he was reading. Only when the parchment was ripped from his hands did he turn an unamused eye to his brother.

“I don’t need a babysitter!” Virgil repeated.

“If you’re referring to Emile, he’s your doctor, not your babysitter,” Janus sighed, leaning back in his chair. He had real work to do, but if Virgil wanted to have some sort of tantrum… Well, Janus spent over two months thinking Virgil might be dead, so he would let him do nearly anything he wanted, actually.

“I’m not talking about Emile! I’m talking about Remus! I'm talking about you sending me on a joke of a mission because you don’t trust me!”

Janus rolled his eyes, childish.

“Your whole crew is dead; I think you’ll forgive me for putting together a new temporary crew for you. Remus isn’t on the crew to babysit you, I’ve made him responsible for his brother and his friends — and besides that, he’s a damn good pirate, I don’t see why you wouldn’t want him as a first mate. I’m sending you on a low-risk mission — though not a joke by any means of the words I assure you — both to make sure that you’ve fully healed from being tortured, and to test Roman, Hart, and Barrie’s loyalty and trustworthiness. If they leave you high and dry, I would prefer it to be in a scenario that you can actually return from this time. And as for not trusting you,” Janus leveled him with a look, “we’ve been through too much for you to truly believe that I could possibly trust anyone more than I trust you.”

Virgil opened his mouth to respond before snapping it shut again. He couldn’t deny that Janus made some good points.

“I’m not a babysitter,” he finally settled on, looking like a pouting child more than anything.

Janus almost smiled at that; it was the exact same look Virgil had given him when first left on a merchant ship. It was a look Virgil had given him often in the orphanage when Janus would take the fall for him, or tell him to stay in bed while Janus snuck out to steal food. It was his ‘I’m a big kid too’ look, a look that Janus privately thought betrayed itself

“Remus will be the babysitter, you just need to be the captain,” Janus said somewhat fondly.

“So I’m just Remus’s babysitter then,” Virgil sighed.

Janus shrugged. “Someone has to be.”

Virgil scowled, but he couldn’t argue with that.

~~~

Roman was… uncertain about becoming a pirate. And he knew that Logan and Patton must feel the same way.

Yes, their previous jobs clearly weren’t as above board as they had thought, and yes, their stay in Deception Cove had been much nicer than any of them had expected, but actually doing the pirating themselves? It was a line Roman wasn’t sure he was ready to cross.

Still though, he didn’t really have a choice here. They were set to cast off today, as soon as Captain Anxiety (An-freaking-xiety! Deceit’s known right-hand-man, and apparently the guy who had been held captive in Captain Williams’s cabin for weeks without anyone else on board knowing!) boarded, and it was made very clear to Roman that any act of betrayal would have him seeing Davy Jones’s locker before he could even blink, it didn’t matter if Remus was his brother or not.

(That being said, Remus was playing their judge for this little excursion, so maybe Roman could hope for the barest hint of leniency.)

“CAP’N ON DECK!” Remus’s shout snapped Roman out of his thoughts and he turned to watch his new captain board.

Anxiety cut an infinitely more imposing figure today than he had the last time Roman saw him. He wore the coat Roman had seen Patton carrying when Deceit had raided their ship; purple with golden detailing. Beneath his coat he wore a black tunic, black trousers, and black leather boots; the only color that wasn’t on his coat came from a silver spider-shaped belt buckle with purple gems for eyes. On his head sat a captain’s hat that sported a white Jolly Roger and a single purple feather. Even his sunken cheeks and fading bruises couldn’t detract from his commanding form.

Remus was at Anxiety’s side in an instant, looking attentive and responsible; a strange thing for Roman’s brother, that was for sure.

“We’re ready to depart by your leave, Vee,” Remus reported.

Anxiety nodded “Is Emile on board yet?” He asked, surveying the deck of the ship.

“Emile’s not coming,” Remus said. “Patton is the ship’s medic for this little cruise.”

If Anxiety was surprised, he didn’t show it, instead just nodding like that was to be expected.

“He’s in the medbay then?” At Remus’s nod, Anxiety continued. “Then have the crew shove off, I need to go speak with him.”

“Aye aye! OI! PREPARE TO SHOVE OFF!” Remus barked as their Captain made a beeline for the officers’ cabins.

This was the part that Roman was used to; he knew the rigging and sails of a ship like the back of his hand. He had always enjoyed the sailing part of sailing; it was the pirating part of pirating that he wasn’t quite sold on.

Oh, and the fact that he would be bunking in the main sleeping quarters with the rest of the crew.

The crew of pirates. Where Roman was the lowest on the food chain.

“C’mon Ro, it’s not that bad. You can sleep in my cabin if you want,” Remus offered. He was multitasking, commanding the crew and bothering Roman.

“Isn’t Logan sleeping in your cabin?” Roman asked, wrinkling his nose.

“We’ll be quiet!” Remus replied happily, relishing the way Roman’s face turned green.

“No thank you.”

Remus laughed. “Prude. Don’t worry ‘bout the rest of the crew, they may look mean, but they’re a bunch of softies.”

“Bunch of softies who’ll stab me for accidentally stealing their bunk,” Roman muttered under his breath.

Remus rolled his eyes and left his brother alone in his moping in favor of bothering Logan at the helm.

~~~

Patton wasn’t sure what to make of Captain Anxiety. On the one hand, he was a feared pirate captain with quite the reputation, but on the other hand, all Patton could see when he looked at him was that poor injured man, locked in a cupboard in the Captain’s Quarters of the Harmonia that Captain Deceit had cared about so much.

It didn’t help that Anxiety was currently shirtless in the medbay, with all his scars — old and new — on full display.

“You seem to be healing well,” Patton commented lightly, deciding to speak to the pirate like he would any other patient (he himself was a pirate now, after all). “Is your arm bothering you much?”

Anxiety shrugged a little. “Only when I try to use it too much.”

“Well, if the pain ever becomes unbearable, just let me know. Oh, and Anxiety-”

“Virgil,” Anxiety interrupted.

“What?”

“My, uh- it’s my name. Virgil,” Anx-Virgil said, attempting to hide his face behind his bangs.

Patton smiled. “Well, Virgil, if you ever need anything — medical or not — just let me know.”

“Thanks, Hart,” Virgil said as he pulled his shirt back on.

“You can call me Patton.”

Virgil shot him a small smile in return — a smile that lit up his face and erased any trace of the menacing pirate Patton might have expected.

Oh, Patton thought, his heart doing a little skip at the sight.

Oh.

~~~

Roman didn’t mind the pirate crew as much as he thought he would; yes, they were pirates, but they were possibly the nicest crew Roman had ever sailed with. On a naval or merchant ship, a new crew mate like Roman would have been perfect fodder for any number of hazing tactics, but the pirates had been overwhelmingly kind to him, teaching the correct protocols, making sure he knew everyone’s name…

It was nice. It was fun. And the best part was, no one even batted an eye when Remus kissed Logan right out in the open. It didn’t matter.

Even Captain Anxiety seemed nice (he still scared the shit out of Roman, but Logan and Patton seemed to like him).

Of course, the thing about being a pirate was that eventually they would actually have to pirate, and the day soon approached that they came across a small merchant ship. Before they caught up with the slower ship, Remus handed him a sword and ordered “subdue if you can, kill if you must”, and wasn’t that a terrifying prospect.

(Though of course, on the Harmonia, the order was “kill on sight”, so one would really have to weigh the severity of the order against the likelihood of facing conflict to truly figure out which was worse.)

As they came alongside the merchant ship, Roman grabbed a rope and swung across to the other ship like many of the other pirates were doing. He wasn’t quite sure what to do, but the merchant sailors didn’t put up much of a fight (they were surprised, and completely outnumbered), so he quickly took up the job of tying the sailors up, no fighting required.

The captain of the merchant ship however, didn’t seem to get the memo, as he and Remus were engaged in a sword fight on the main deck. Captain Anxiety and the rest of the pirate crew were just watching the fight with amusement. Roman stepped forward to help his brother, but one of the more senior pirates, Toby, held him back.

“He’s got this,” Toby assured him. “This guy’s got no technique, Remus’ll win, easy.”

He was right, and within seconds, Remus had the captain on his knees, the point of Remus’s sword under his chin.

“There now,” Remus grinned. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

The merchant captain said nothing, simply glaring for all he was worth.

“Don’t worry, Captain,” Anxiety smirked, drawing everyone’s attention. “We’ll be out of your hair soon.”

Anxiety whistled, and several pirates headed down to the cargo hold.

“Stay here and keep an eye on them,” Toby told Roman, nodding at the tied-up sailors, then he left to join the others in the plundering.

“This was rather boring; don’t you think Re?” Anxiety asked conversationally while they waited.

“Aye,” Remus agreed, lowering his sword from the defeated captain. “These bunch a lilies-”

Remus cut himself off with a startled scream. The merchant captain had taken the opening to pull a dagger from his pocket and make a desperate swipe at Remus. Remus stumbled back from the captain, clutching his arm to his chest.

His hand, still clutching his sword hilt, fell to the deck.

Roman didn’t even think, one second, he was guarding the sailors, and next he was standing beside the merchant captain’s dying body, Roman’s sword plunged deep into his chest. The captain stared up at him in shock, but Roman was more focused on his brother.

“Remus?”

“Heh,” Remus chuckled, eyes glazing over. “That’s a new one.”

He stumbled again, and Roman was at his side in an instant to catch him.

“Get him to the medbay!” Anxiety barked, drawing his own sword and inspecting the rival captain carefully.

“Right. Right!” Roman half-carried half-dragged Remus over the gangplank. Everything was going to be fine; Patton would fix Remus right up. No worries.

~~~

Virgil disposed of the merchant captain in the ocean and appointed the first mate as new captain. His crew took most of the valuables on board, leaving the merchant crew with enough provisions to make it to the nearest friendly port.

The atmosphere on the Knightmare’s deck was tense. Injury and dismemberment were commonplace on a pirate ship, but this was supposed to be an easy hit. The fact that it was the first mate in the medbay didn’t help the matter.

Virgil relieved Barrie of his post once they’d pulled away from the other ship, taking over the navigator position himself until the night helmsman could take over. Barrie had thanked him before no doubt rushing off to the medbay to see how Remus was doing.

Of course, Virgil was worried about Remus as well, but as captain, his first responsibility was to keep the ship running. After the night helmsman took over, Virgil made his way to the medbay.

Remus was lying in one of the sickbeds with his brother and Barrie taking vigil on either side, his arm was wrapped in bandages, and he was asleep. Patton, sitting at his desk, was the only one who noticed Virgil’s entrance.

“Captain!” He gasped, shooting to his feet. Roman and Barrie moved to do the same, but Virgil waved them off.

“Don’t mind me, I just wanted a word with Patton.”

“Of course,” Patton nodded, following Virgil out of the cabin.

“How is he?” Virgil asked once the door was closed.

Patton grimaced. “If we can keep the wound from getting infected then he’ll be just fine — he’ll be out one hand, but he’ll be fine. I’ve done everything I can for now.”

“Good,” Virgil nodded, not quite sure what else to say. “Good.”

“How are you doing?” Patton asked. “Logan said you took over the helm, any of your injuries aggravated?”

“I’m fine,” Virgil assured him.

“Still though, can I check?”

It was Virgil’s turn to grimace.

“Not here.” He grabbed Patton’s hand and started pulling him down the hall. “We can go to my cabin.”

So, in the safety of his cabin, Virgil was once again shirtless in front of the cute medic.

“Well, you’re bleeding a little,” Patton said, lightly touching Virgil’s back, just to the left of where the pain was coming from. “I don’t think you need stitches, but do you have any bandages and alcohol in here? I’d like to clean and wrap it.”

“Bandages in the bottom right desk drawer, rum in the cabinet over there,” Virgil jerked his head to point.

Patton nodded and went to fetch the supplies.

“Do you want any of the rum before I pour some on your cut?” Patton asked, holding the bottle out to Virgil. “A little painkiller before we start?”

“Absolutely.” Virgil took the bottle and took one giant swig, it burned like hell, but it felt good after the day Virgil had had. “Ok, do it.”

Somehow the rum burned even worse on his wound than it did in his mouth.

“FUCK!”

“Sorry,” Patton muttered, grabbing the bandages and winding them around Virgil’s torso.

He had soft hands. That was the only thought Virgil’s brain was capable of making, just how soft Patton’s hands were.

“There!” Patton declared at last. “All done.”

“Thanks,” Virgil murmured, taking another swig of the rum. “Want some?”

“Oh I-I shouldn’t,” Patton stuttered.

“I won’t tell anyone,” Virgil teased, still offering the bottle.

“Well… maybe just a little bit.”

A little bit turned into a lot bit, and eventually the two were sitting on the floor, an empty rum bottle between them.

“-and it was just a coincidence that we all even ended up on the same ship!” Patton slurred, leaning heavily against Virgil. “I’m drunk.”

Virgil burst into a giggling fit at that — he was well past tipsy himself.

“You’re cute,” Patton said.

Virgil blushed. Unsure of what to say, he licked his lips. Patton’s eyes followed the motion so he did it again.

He wasn’t sure which one of them moved, but suddenly the soft hands were back, and Virgil’s lips were pressed against Patton’s in a very sloppy, very drunk kiss. Patton’s mouth tasted like the rum they’d been drinking, but there was a hint of something sweet in there, and Virgil was determined to figure out what it was.

Patton pulled away, gasping for breath.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” he panted. “But I think I’m about to puke.”

He lurched suddenly, barely making it to the waste bin before the rum took its revenge.

Lightweight, Virgil thought as his head started getting fuzzy. Sleep started to sound really good to him and, unwilling to move the two feet it would take him to reach the bed, Virgil passed out on the floor.

~~~

Remus drifted through a haze for a while, it was hard for him to tell when he was and wasn’t awake. Sometimes Logan was there, or his mother, or Roman. Patton made frequent appearances, as did Virgil and Janus. Sometimes he was back in his childhood home, sometimes he was on a ship in the middle of a storm, and sometimes he was on a deserted island with only a parrot to keep him company.

Eventually he opened his eyes and he was in a dark room, for the first time in a while, he was certain that he was awake. He was sore, and sweaty, but the bed beneath him was real, and solid.

He wasn’t on a ship anymore, the room was too still to be on water, so he was probably back in Deception Cove.

He let out a small groan, and heard something beside him shift in response. A moment later, a match was struck and the candle at his bedside was lit.

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

Remus smiled, turning to face the other man. “Aww, Janny, I knew you cared.” He croaked weakly.

Janus rolled his eyes, but Remus could see the fond look on his face. He grabbed a cup and helped Remus take a drink of water before responding.

“You’re a very competent pirate,” he said. “I would hate to lose you to something so pedestrian as a merchant captain.”

“You love me,” Remus smirked, satisfied. “So, what’s the damage? It must be bad if we made it all the way back home before I woke up.”

“You’re missing a hand,” Janus told him plainly.

Remus lifted his right arm to examine it, but the hand was still there. He stared at the hand in shock while Janus rolled his eyes again.

“The other one.”

“Oh.” Remus’s left arm was a different story. Instead of having a hand at the end, his arm came to a rounded stump where his wrist was (used to be?) and the whole thing was covered in bandages.

“Are you alright?” Janus asked. Janus was good at masking, but Remus could tell that he felt guilty for being the one to send Remus on the mission in the first place.

“I am going to get the coolest hook hand you have ever seen,” Remus told him, already excited at the prospect. Maybe he could get a whole collection of different tools, like a mace-hand, and a dagger-hand.

Janus chuckled and Remus beamed at the sight.

“Well, I have some important matters to attend to, but I’ll go fetch Emile, I’m sure he’ll want to know that you’re awake.”

“‘K,” Remus yawned. “But let him know that I might just go back to sleep.”

“Of course.” Janus got up and left, leaving the candle still burning behind him.

Remus was still away when Emile came in a minute later, and Emile made him stay up until he’d finished cleaning Remus’s wound and replacing the bandages with fresh ones. He asked Remus all sorts of questions about how he was feeling, and once he was done, he extinguished the candle and allowed Remus to fall asleep once more.

Roman, and Logan were at his bedside when he woke again.

“What? No Patton?” Remus joked, smirking when both his brother and his boyfriend’s attention snapped to him.

“Thank the gods,” Roman murmured under his breath.

“Remus, I’m glad to see you’re finally awake,” Logan said in that weird toneless way he spoke when his emotions were running too high. “I figured you would be, seeing as your fever broke last night.”

“I’m okay, Logie.” Remus grabbed his hand with his only remaining hand and gave it a squeeze. “So,” he turned to Roman. “What did I miss?”

Roman eagerly launched into some of the gossip he’d heard while Remus was unconscious, he wasn’t as knowledgeable of Deception Cove’s grapevines as Virgil was, but Remus had no doubt that, given a little more time, Roman would become one of the most reliable gossip dealers on the island. One of his stories — which consisted almost entirely of his own speculation — was about Patton being suspected of having a mysterious secret boyfriend.

“-and I’ve tried following him, but I always seem to lose him around the horse stables!” Roman complained. At this point, Remus had a suspicion about who the secret boyfriend was, but he was going to keep that information to himself until he had some firsthand observations.

“You’re awake!” Patton’s voice suddenly came from the direction of the door. They all turned to find Patton skipping into the room with Virgil hanging back in the doorway.

Suspicions strengthened.

Patton gave Remus a careful hug, then took a seat next to Roman on Remus’s left.

“Hey, Re,” Virgil said, still standing in the doorway, one hand behind his back. “I brought you a gift.”

“Lizard tongues?” Remus perked up.

“Nope, better.” Virgil brought his hand around and tossed the glass jar he’d been holding at Remus, who pulled his hand out of Logan's and managed to catch it.

“A hand?” Roman gasped, going green.

“Is this my hand!?” Remus cheered. “Aww, Virgie! That’s so nice!”

“Yeah,” Virgil smirked. “I figured you’d want it back.”

“Did you preserve this?” Logan asked, inspecting the jar carefully.

“Yeah, but if you’d rather just have the bones, you can take it out,” Virgil answered.

“This is the worst conversation I have ever been a part of,” whined Roman.

“Wow, Virgil,” Patton grinned. “What a handy gift this is!”

“Correction: now it’s the worst.”

Virgil smirked and sauntered over to take a seat next to Logan. “What’s wrong, Roman? Is this a little too hands on for you?”

Remus and Patton both burst into giggles, while Logan sighed tiredly, and Roman looked like he was fighting the urge to puke.

“That joke deserves a hand!” Patton giggled.

“Well, I can’t take all the credit,” Virgil grinned. “The gift was secondhand.”

“I hate all of you,” Roman groaned, which only increased Remus and Patton’s giggles.

“These puns are getting out of hand,” Logan sighed.

“Good one!” Patton cheered, eliciting a glare from Logan.

Remus sat back in the bed, still giggling. It was nice having his brother, his boyfriend, and his friend back, and it was even nicer that they were getting along with Virgil. Now if only he could find a way to get Roman and Janus together…

~~~END~~~

This is the last of my Thursday 500 Requests, thank you so much to everyone who put in a request or reblogged one of my fics, or even just liked one. I will now be returning to my regularly scheduled bullshit (which is incredibly irregular and unscheduled)

Pirate taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @knight-shives @canvas-the-florist @echo-goes-aaa @everythingisstardust

[cephy-the-squid]

Foxes and Fairytales

AO3 Link

Summary: When Prince Roman is forced to marry, he sets a challenge for potential suitors, saying that whoever captures the forest’s ruby red fox, and brings it back alive, will win his hand in marriage. Hearing the news, Patton sets out to capture a ruby red fox.

Relationships: Royality, Mentions of Familial Moxiety (Virgil as Patton’s father), Mentions of platonic Patton & Logan, Mentions of platonic Roman & Logan

Words: 4349

Authors Notes: A fairytale au for @nandysparadox on Tumblr. The wish was Royality in a fairytale setting, and I combined it with some hints to Nandy’s third wish, fantasy AU w/ parental moxiety (with virgil as patton's parent). The fic is part of the Sanders Sides Gift Exchange hosted by @sanderssidesgiftxchange

I hope I fulfilled your wishes well!

Thank you to @edupunkn00b for Beta Reading!

TWs: Weapons, Unwanted Arranged Marriage (does not happen), Injury, Talk of Throat Slitting (does not happen), Threats Toward a Main Character, Animal Attack

Once upon a time there was a kingdom surrounded by a patch of woods. Though the kingdom was very small, people came from miles and miles just to set eyes upon the Prince and hear his voice. Because Prince Roman, as the Prince was called, was so stunningly beautiful and his voice was melodic and powerful enough to make even the birds and the rocks and the river weep with emotion.

As a child Prince Roman had been visited by a sorcerer and given three gifts as wonderful as he was. The first, of course, was his gift of song, the second his gift of beauty. The third however, remained a secret that he kept close to his chest, locked away from outside views.

Once he grew up, word spread of Prince Roman’s beautiful songs and stunning visual appearance. Suitors began traveling from all of the nearby Suitors began traveling from the surrounding kingdoms, and some of the distant kingdoms as well. These suitors would crowd around the castle gate, or attempt to storm the courtyard, in an attempt to witness the Prince’s beauty for themselves.

It became too dangerous for Prince Roman to leave the castle unaccompanied, and not long after that it became too dangerous for Prince Roman to leave the castle at all. Every day, the Prince’s hatred with these men and women grew, and everyday the suitors seemed to care less and less about Prince Roman’s autonomy, often offering Roman’s father large sums of money for his hand in marriage.

“I am not a parcel to be bought and sold!” cried Roman to his beloved friend and chef, Patton, when the first offer came in.

By the time the sixty seventh offer came in Prince Roman’s indignance and sulking turned to genuine fear.

Much to the Prince’s disgust, when the richest of the suitors began to make offers, many of them were permitted by the King to attend lavish dinners with the Prince and listen to him sing. Though the Prince’s songs had turned mournful, many of the suitors seemed to not care, too enamored by the beauty and emotion of the song to care that the singer was weeping.

Patton, on the other hand, did care. He cared a lot.

Patton had been Prince Roman’s confidant for years, ever since the Prince had befriended him one day, after a misguidedly heated altercation. Patton, who at the time had been one of the castle’s many scullery maids, had been temporarily filling in for his footman friend while the man had been out sick. Although he had hoped to go unnoticed by anyone that day, especially someone as high up as the Prince, Roman had still noticed the change and followed him back down to the kitchen.

“Your majesty!” Patton had startled, quickly dropping into a panicked bow when he noticed Prince Roman entering the kitchen. “You shouldn’t be in here! It will sully your reputation! Surely you can send a footman down to get whatever you need?”

“Well I can’t seem to find my footman, now can I?” the Prince had said challengingly.

When Patton only looked panicked, Prince Roman extended his sword.

“What have you done with Logan, fiend?” roared Prince Roman, his beautiful face painted into a terrifying snarl.

“I haven’t—”

“Logan never misses work! Clearly you must have done something foul in an attempt to take his place.” the Prince scowled and began rifling through the kitchen cabinets, as though he expected Logan to be tied up next to the glassware. His concern for his footman would have had Patton cooing, if he hadn't been fearing for his life.

“Where is he?” the Prince bellowed, giving up on searching the kitchen in a demand for answers. He pressed the tip of his blade to the spot right under Patton’s chin.

“Your majesty, it's all alright. I haven’t done anything to Logan!”

“Liar,” snapped the Prince, but his accusatory words were mitigated by a voice crack that had the Prince quickly covering his mouth in an apparent panic.

Oh the poor dear. He was just worried about his friend.

“Logan is safe. The poor kiddo got sick in the night, and I made him stay in bed today so that he wouldn’t contaminate the staff.” When the Prince’s face fell Patton grew defensive. “He needs rest! He’s good at his job, and he deserves to take a break once in a while! He works so hard to help you. The least you can do is let him take one day off when he’s sick,” Patton admonished.

The Prince seemed to deflate, the tip of his sword dropping to the ground in a strange mixture of relief, worry, and embarrassment.

“I’m sorry for accusing you. I was just so worried,” the Prince admitted.

“Logan is going to be fine,” Patton reassured again. “I’m sure he will be back to work soon.”

“I don’t doubt it,” laughed the Prince. “That nerd has never been very good at taking breaks. I often have to order him to not work through the entire night.”

The Prince hesitated.

“Could you take me to him?” he requested, sounding unsure of himself. “I just want to make sure he will be alright.” In this moment of humility, Patton was struck by just how much more beautiful the Prince looked when he was being genuine. Usually Patton’s glimpses of the Prince were limited to watching him strut down the halls with an air of uncaring dismissal. Although Patton tried very hard not to judge a book by its cover, he couldn’t help but think of the Prince as vain and cold.

In this moment though, with his eyes laced with worry for Patton’s dear friend, Patton realized he had misjudged him. With this kindness in his eyes, the Prince looked… stunningly gorgeous. Handsome even. Maybe even kissable.

But goodness that was certainly not a good time for such thoughts, especially thoughts about someone so far above his station. Patton agreed to take the Prince to Logan, sounding more confident than he'd felt when he'd demanded that the Prince stay quiet and aid the air of relaxation that he hoped would permeate Logan’s quarters. Though Patton had felt wary about making demands of the Prince, Prince Roman had agreed easily, reassuring Patton that he would of course do his best to make sure Logan had a restful recovery.

Soon a tentative friendship was born between Patton and the Prince. When the offers for the Prince’s hand in marriage began to arrive, Patton was the first person Roman would go to in order to rant about the ill way he was being treated, and the unfair attempts of his father to marry him off to people he neither liked nor knew.

When he was alone in his servant’s quarters, Patton often found himself wishing that he could be the one to wisk Prince Roman away from these terrible suitors.

Sometimes, on nights that were super quiet, Patton dared to imagine marrying the Prince himself.

Over time, Patton’s rank in the kitchen advanced. Although Patton couldn’t help but suspect that some of that was Roman’s influence, he wouldn’t deny that the amenities of a chef were much more livable than those of a scullery maid. One day the king had enough of the suitors climbing through the fence and traipsing through the palace garden. Being a foolish king, with not nearly enough regard for his son’s feelings, he gave Roman an ultimatum. If the Prince did not pick a husband soon, the King would pick a spouse for him.

The minute Prince Roman had left his father’s throne room, he had found a random room to hide in and began to weep.

Patton happened to need to retrieve some turnips from the room, which had turned out to be one of the castle’s many produce cupboards, and found the poor prince sobbing into the vegetables.

In his shock he dropped his basket, before dropping to his knees to hold the Prince in his arms.

“Oh honey! It will be okay,” Patton comforted, pulling the Prince closer to his chest.

“How can you know that?” the Prince countered, still sobbing.

Patton wanted to continue his reassurances, but he didn’t want to lie. After all, would it be okay? Things didn’t seem very okay right now. In fact they seemed very not okay!

“Well maybe you can take back some control over the situation,” he suggested hesitantly. “Maybe there is a way for you to choose your own fate?”

The Prince jolted, struck with a sudden idea.

“Patton, you are a genius!” he declared. “I have the most perfect idea!”

Patton awoke the following morning to news of a great contest, in which the suitors who sought after the fair and lovely Prince Roman would be given an opportunity to compete for his hand.

The suitors were instructed to stand in the courtyard at sundown, where they would be given the rules of the challenge.

Patton debated all day whether or not he should go to the courtyard that evening.

Though he knew his love for Prince Roman could never bear fruit, he wondered if perhaps, at the very least, if he won, the Prince might be able to use him as an excuse to not marry at all. After all, if there was no eligible suitor to win, then there would be no one to marry. And certainly Patton, a humble servant, would never be seen as a potential suitor, by the Prince or by anyone else.

That said, it might be seen as presumptuous for him to attend. Would he even be allowed into the courtyard? And would this even be a challenge he could win? If this challenge was designed to pick the best suitor then certainly a suitor as lowly and unfit for the Prince as Patton would never be able to win.

Still, as evening drew to a close, Patton found himself walking into the courtyard, standing on the outskirts of the massive gardens.

Even if he wasn’t going to win, he could gosh darn well try to save Prince Roman. As his friend, he owed it to him to at least attempt to prevent him from being forced into a marriage to a suitor that he found abhorrent.

The rowdy crowd fell into a tense silence as the doors to the palace awning opened. To Patton’s surprise, instead of Prince Roman stepping out onto the awning, the King appeared. Confused muttering broke out before the King lifted his hands in a silencing motion.

“The beautiful Prince Roman has made a decision,” the King declared. “He has decided that his hand will be won by contest. In the forest neighboring our kingdom, there is a fox with fur the deep red of rubies. No fox can match this fox's beauty or vibrant coloration. Whichever suitor finds this fox and brings it back, alive and unharmed, shall receive the Prince’s hand in marriage.”

Patton felt his heart sink. He was certainly no trapper. Though he had pets of his own, they had always been gifted to him by family and friends.

Why couldn’t it have been a baking challenge or something he could do with ease?

“You may start your searching and trapping at once!” the King declared.

Suitors sprinted in all directions, nearly trampling Patton. Across the courtyard, a fight began to break out, with suitors attempting to narrow down the competition. Patton panically remembered that there had been no words spoken against sabotage of any kind.

Patton resigned himself to climbing a tree and waiting for some of the crowd to disperse. While in the tree, he thought about his options. Although he had no trapping knowledge, he had always been told he was good with animals due to his patience and kind nature. Maybe instead of trapping the little creature, he could befriend it?

By the time the moon had risen high into the sky, much of the crowd had finally dispersed.

Patton climbed down from the tree and made his way through the gate, and into the castle’s kitchen. If he was going to get anywhere near this fox, he was going to need some treats to lure out the little cutie.

When Patton was a young boy, his father, Papa Virgil, had often left little meals for the creatures in the nearby woods, insisting that keeping the local wildlife happy was paramount to successful foraging and forest life.

“Plus,” Papa Virgil would often advize, “a fox with a full stomach wouldn’t go looking to eat our chickens.”

Meat was expensive, and would likely be missed quickly, but Patton remembered that his Papa had often left local fruits and acorns for foxes to eat. After all, foxes were obligate omnivores.

Patton grabbed a basket from the shelf, quickly gathering a paring knife, a couple apples, two persimmons, and a handful of blackberries, three types of fruit that were plentiful in the castle and would not be missed. Since he didn’t know what this particular fox would prefer, he figured it was best to get a variety. Unfortunately, the castle had not stocked up on acorns, but Patton figured he could always collect some on his way through the forest.

Patton kept his footsteps as quiet as possible as he walked into the forest. It simply wouldn’t do to scare the poor creature. He silently thanked the King for the fortuitous timing of the announcement. The moon hadn’t even reached its peak in the sky yet, leaving plenty of time to search for the nocturnal creature.

He would just have to search!

And search.

And search.

Patton couldn’t help but feel his optimism diminish as the moon began to sink low into the sky, without even one sighting of any fox, let alone the ruby red fox.

As dawn began to break, he sank down onto a rock by a small stream, ready to cry from disappointment and lack of sleep. He only hoped that no one else had succeeded in capturing the poor beast, since it looked like tonight was a pointless endeavor.

He turned around to go home, when he caught a bright flash of movement out of the corner of his eye.

Ever so slowly, Patton turned his head, and found himself meeting the eyes of the most vibrant fox he’d ever seen.

He held his breath as the fox tilted its head to the side assessingly. Patton couldn’t help but feel like he was being judged.

Whatever the fox was looking for, he seemed to find it. Instead of turning and fleeing, the ruby fox lowered itself to the forest floor, resting its chin upon its front paws.

“Go on,” the fox seemed to convey.

“Hey there little fella,” Patton whispered, lowering himself down to sit on the forest floor as well. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

The fox just blinked at him.

“Would you like a snack?”

The fox didn’t respond verbally, but it did sniff the ground in Patton’s direction, which Patton decided to take as an affirmative. Slowly, Patton reached into his basket and began laying out the variety of fox-friendly foods he had brought with him. The ruby fox watched Patton’s every movement, occasionally flinching back when Patton’s movements became too sudden. Instead of growing frustrated, Patton used these moments as a reminder to keep his movements soft and well projected. He certainly didn’t want to scare the little thing!

“Here you go little fella,” Patton murmured, once he had finished laying out the snacks.

When the fox hesitated, Patton slid his body back a good five feet, giving the fox room to graze without Patton towering over him.

The fox seemed to be reassured by Patton’s retreat, as it carefully paced over the food and gave it a cautious sniff. Once it had deemed the food safe and generally unobjectionable, it quickly began to scarf down the blackberries and acorns.

“Careful little one!” Patton warned. “I don’t want you to choke!”

The fox paid Patton no mind, but fortunately it didn’t choke either. Watching the fox, Patton couldn’t help but feel like the fox wasn’t as scared of him as he had expected. Most wild animals he had encountered in the past would never have allowed themselves to eat so close to an unknown human being. Perhaps this fox had been trained and then released? Patton was sure he had never heard Roman mention having a pet fox, but perhaps he just hadn’t thought to mention it? Perhaps the lack of fear had something to do with the fox’s astonishingly red coat. Maybe it was a magic fox!

During Patton’s monologuing, the fox had finished the fruits and acorns and sat up to look at Patton.

“How would you feel about coming home with me to the castle?” Patton asked, although he knew the fox probably didn’t understand a word he was saying.

Strangely enough, it did seem like the fox actually had heard him. The fox tilted its head, appearing to consider the offer.

Suddenly, Patton heard the sharp crack of a snapping twig to his left.

The fox’s ears seemed to pin to the back of its head as it let out an angry, defensive sound.

Patton barely had time to process the shift in tone, before a large body was barreling into the clearing.

In the light, Patton could see that the body was in fact a man, specifically the most massive man Patton had ever seen.

“I see you’ve found the little piece of trash,” the man sneered, drawing a wickedly sharp sword from his sheath.

Patton’s legs felt like they were turning to jello under the amused gaze of what must be one of Roman’s suitors.

The fox let out another piercing snarl.

“Oh don’t worry, you little gnat. I’m still going to get you,” the man mocked. “I just need to dispose of this little wench first.”

The man stalked closer. In a swift movement the point of the sword was held right up against Patton’s throat.

Patton gulped.

“Did you really think you had any place competing for the Prince? What even are you? Your clothes are painfully lower class. What on earth could you give him?”

The point of the blade pressed in on Patton’s throat, only barely light enough to prevent the sharpness of the weapon from piercing his skin.

“What on this planet gave you the arrogance to believe that you had any right to the hand of a prince?”

Patton only whimpered.

“I asked you a question,” the man roared, spit flying everywhere. “What made you think that dirt like you was deserving of someone like the fair Prince Roman?”

Patton begged himself not to speak, but the words rose from his mouth unbidden.

“Because I love him!” Patton cried out. “Because he deserves a life with a spouse of his choosing, a life with someone who loves him for everything. He deserves a husband who recognizes how kind, caring, and wonderful he is, not someone who just wants him for his beauty and his voice.”

“Please,” the suitor scoffed, “spare me the romantics. This isn’t a matter of love. This is a game in which there will be a winner and a loser. The Prince is the heir to a fortune and a kingdom. What do you know of such things? Your life in the slums could never prepare you for such things. That pathetic little Prince will be mine. Did you think your little love confession would ever compare to the might of the sword? You aren’t even armed! This is no fairytale. This is the real world, where the poor kitchen maid doesn’t get the Prince just because he loves him. In the real world I get the Prince, and I get to own him for the rest of our lives.”

The man raised his sword back to strike. In barely a blink of an eye, it would be over. All of this would be for nothing. Patton would have failed, and this terrible, violent, dreadful man would have the Prince as his groom.

And the worst part was that he was right. Patton was a lowly chef. He was probably barely a thought to the Prince. The Prince was truly too wonderful to feel anything for someone like him.

Prince Roman probably wouldn’t even notice Patton was gone.

Patton closed his eyes and waited for the strike.

The strike did not come.

Instead, there was a piercing, animalistic sound, followed by a scream of terror.

Patton opened his eyes, to a sight that had him pinching himself to see if he was dreaming.

The ruby fox had leapt onto the suitor and was clawing at him. The suitor writhed on the ground, cursing and crying out.

Once the fox seemed satisfied that the man was no longer a threat, it jumped off of the man. The vibrant fox stood in front of Patton to bare its teeth at Patton’s attacker, standing guard.

The man took a threatening step towards the fox, but startled back when the fox seemed to shift right before his eyes.

With a few pops of shifting joints and elongating bones, the ruby fox was no longer a fox at all. Instead, the fox had been replaced with the beautiful Prince Roman, who wielded his sword in the suitor’s direction.

“Flee now,” demanded Prince Roman. “Or I will cut out your throat for your attack and disrespect.”

The suitor did not even wait long enough to consider fighting. His sword was clattering to the ground before the Prince’s last words had even escaped his throat. The man immediately turned and ran off into the woods.

Prince Roman watched him run away, before rushing to Patton’s side.

“Oh dearest Patton, are you hurt?”

Patton thought he might faint.

What world was this, where Prince Roman, the most beautiful, wonderful prince in all the land, would look at lowly, little Patton with such tenderness and concern? Although the Prince seemed panicked by the possibility of Patton being injured, his hands were gentle where they held onto his shoulders. He was treating Patton like he was made of glass, a valuable trinket to be treasured and protected.

��Your face is very red. Are you injured?” Roman worried.

Patton just blinked at him, unable to form words, the surreality of the situation drowning out all his thoughts.

“He will never enter this kingdom again. I swear it. He will never lay a hand on you again, ever,” promised the Prince.

Considering the circumstances, Patton couldn’t help but feel like this was the wrong time to burst into tears. Unfortunately his body seemed to disagree and in an instant Patton could feel his face growing wet as his body hitched with sobs.

“Oh dearest Patton, did I say something wrong? Are you in pain? How can I-“

Roman’s frantic questioning was interrupted as Patton threw his arms around the Prince, grabbing his fists into the back of his cloak. His sobs only increased at this forbidden comfort, but he couldn’t bid himself to let go. Not when he felt so safe in the Prince’s arms.

Prince Roman carefully cradled Patton’s head with one hand, while the other rubbed soothing circles onto the chef’s back, burying his face into Patton’s blonde curls.

“It’s alright, Love. You’re safe now. I will never let you get hurt again,” comforted the Prince.

Patton’s loud sob at this promise worried Roman, but when he tried to pull away to make sure Patton was alright, the chef only held on tighter.

“Patton, darling, you’re worrying me,” Roman whispered.

This startled Patton out of his stupor. He couldn’t let the Prince worry.

“I’m alright, your majesty. I’m just relieved. That’s all,” Patton reassured. “You shouldn’t have to worry about someone like me.”

Prince Roman paused for a moment, startled. “Patton. Dearest. How could I not worry about you? I have loved you since the day I met you. After your fierce protection of your friend, how could I not become enamored?”

“How could that be true? I bring nothing to this dynamic that could be of any use to you.”

“Nothing of use?!” Roman roared, before quieting down at Patton’s flinch. “You are so very wonderful. Your kindness is astounding. Your commitment to protecting your friends is awe inspiring. You’re always able to comfort me, even in the harshest of scenarios. I love you, Patton. You are everything to me.

And if I had known my love was reciprocated, I would never have started this foolish contest.”

“Why wouldn’t you?” Patton whispered. He knew the answer, but he couldn’t allow himself to believe it without hearing it aloud.

“Because I would have married you, Patton,” said Prince Roman, “Just like I plan too now.”

“Your majesty—“ started Patton.

“Please. We don’t need those formalities anymore. You can just call me Roman. Or Ro. Or perhaps ‘my fiancé’ if you wish,” Roman winked.

Patton’s blood rushed to his face so fast that he felt a little lightheaded.

“That is… if you will marry me,” the Prince, Roman, backtracked. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“Yes, my Prince, my Roman,” Patton whispered, leaning down slow enough for Roman to push him away and peppering Roman’s face with little kisses. “My Prince, my Love, my Life, my glorious, wonderful, beautiful Roman.” Patton broke up each term of endearment with a peck to Roman’s cheek, until both of them were giggling too much to continue.

“I love you, Roman. I can’t believe I haven’t said that yet. I love,” Patton’s words were interrupted by another faint giggle. “I love you. My dearest, most wonderful Prince Roman.”

Roman’s smile was nearly blinding. Patton saw his prince’s—and wasn’t that a wonderful phrase, his prince—eyes flicker down to Patton’s lips in a question.

Patton felt no need to deny something he wanted just as much.

“Please kiss me,” he spoke, fluttering his eyelashes at his glorious prince.

And as for his prince, well, he didn’t need to be told twice.

[nandysparadox]

milkshakes and checkered diners

Pairing: romantic royality; mentioned brotherly moxiety

Word count:  2218

cw: seems like it’s going to be hurt/comfort-y at the start, but it’s just pure fluff; food

Summary: Patton didn't expect his friend to bail on their little catch-up session.

Much less for a cute waiter to turn the evening around.

---

fic for day 1 of @royalityweek ! unfortunately I couldn’t do all days like I planned but i’m proud of this one :>

prompt: bagel/second cookie

thanks to @foggy-lavender-grey for beta-reading!

It had been two hours and Patton’s last, itty bitty piece of hope dwindled by the second.

He twisted the straw wrapping paper around his finger, then ripped it into pieces for no reason other than sheer boredom. Taking a sip of the third cup of water he’d ordered, ice half melted, Patton sighed. Maybe he was being a little bit dramatic — no harm done if they didn’t come, after all.

Still, a part of him really wanted to believe that if he just waited a few more minutes, they’d walk through the diner door, and all his optimism would pay off. Could he blame himself for that? He just wanted a nice afternoon, darn it! People buzzed around the eatery, gathering around the cute teal and pink booths, fiddling with the jukebox, and all-around enjoying the retro diner experience, all the while Patton waited alone at his table like a sad sack, holding three glasses of water, and wanting nothing more than to hide every time a server shot him a pitying look.

Just five more minutes, he told himself, leaning onto his elbows, then I’ll go.

Though just as the thought crossed his mind, his cell phone pinged and Patton reached over to grab it. He went to unlock it but the notification that popped up on the screen was enough to make him lie his head down on the table with a groan.

oh goodness im so sorry something came up

maybe another day?

He wanted to be mad, to find it in him to be unreasonable and maybe text back something snarky — but without his feeble optimism, the two hours of idleness finally set in and Patton just wished he was home.

Just as he built the will to finally leave, a sliver of movement caught his eye and he lifted his head to see it.

A server sauntered toward his table looking like a picture-perfect 50s waiter, his hair — just as red as the apron he wore — styled into beautiful curls beneath a little white cap. His bright green eyes held such unshakeable confidence that Patton began to feel a little worried that maybe he should've ordered something to go with the water.

But instead of chastising him, the waiter plopped himself down at his booth like it was the most natural thing in the world — Patton straightened up, feeling weirdly flustered with his presence.

The man hummed, picking up a glass and swirling what remained of the ice around. “Are you still waiting for your date, dear?” he asked with a sympathetic smile, just shy of blunt.

Patton blinked, just now realizing how the scene looked to an outsider. “Oh, no! No, no,” he chuckled nervously. “I’m not on a date, you see, I’m waiting for a friend! They're finally in town so we had an outing planned and everything!- but uh, they couldn't make it.”

“Oh,” said the man with a put-upon sigh. He rested his chin on one hand with an exaggerated pout. “I was hoping to valiantly save a cute guy from a ruined date, but I guess that won't work.”

“I- Um,” Patton stammered, feeling his cheeks warm - even more as he saw a hint of a smirk in the waiter’s expression. He was hoping to turn the day around at home with a tub of ice cream, but he guessed a nice date would also do the trick! “I mean- I wouldn't mind the company?”

The waiter broke out into a full-blown grin, throwing his hands at the table as he stood up. “Brilliant,” he exclaimed. “Just wait here a moment.”

He strutted to the counter and Patton felt distinctly thrown for a loop. Surprisingly, the first thing that came to mind was that his brother would be fretting non-stop if he knew Patton agreed to a date with a practical stranger. The second thing was that he didn't even catch the man's name, which did lend more credibility to hypothetical Virgil's worry — but unfortunately for his brother, he was nothing short of impulsive and it was becoming very hard to care about that when the stranger in question threw a little wave and a charming smile his way when he noticed Patton looking at him.

Soon enough, the man moved from the counter after talking with the cashier, quickly making his way back to the booth.

“I hope you don't mind I ordered something — I know the menu like the back of my hand, though, so I assure you it’s good,” he said with a wink.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that!” Patton smiled, then faltered — it was a bit late to get going with introductions but going through the whole evening without knowing the guy’s name would be a bit of a disaster scenario so maybe he should get it over with? “Um, I’m- Patton?”

The man blinked. “Oh!” he said. “My name’s Roman, incredibly rude of me to not say it earlier, I apologize.” He extended Patton his hand with an awkward smile.

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it,” Patton said as he shook Roman’s hand. “So…” He settled his hand on the table, drumming up his fingers against it. “Will I get to know what you ordered?”

“In due time, though I won’t spoil the surprise — I hope you have a sweet tooth, though.”

Patton chuckled. “Well, you do work here, so I guess I can trust you.” He paused. “Wait, I’m not taking you away from your shift, am I?”

Roman shook his head. “Oh not at all, my shift has just ended.” He then turned around and waved to the cashier, who gave them a firm nod before going back to ringing up a customer. “See?”

“Huh,” Patton said. “Well, I’m glad! I’d hate to disrupt your work.”

“No need to worry about that, if anything I’d say you made my evening a little brighter, I didn’t have anything planned for after work,” Roman responded with a reassuring smile as he untied his apron and set the white cap on the table. “Speaking of plans, you seemed pretty determined to meet up with your friend today, do they not come around often?”

Patton grimaced. “Not really, they go to college out of state, and when they do visit it’s our hometown, I was excited to meet them.” He sighed. “Plus my course hours have been crazy, I’ll take any chance to rest.”

“I feel you, add work into the mix and I feel like I haven’t rested in days.” groaned Roman. “What do you major in?”

“Biology, third year,” he answered. “I’m in the pre-vet program!”

“Ooh, impressive!” Roman whistled. “Cute and smart, you’re a double-threat.”

Patton giggled, avoiding Roman’s eyes. “You’re a charmer,” he said. “What about you?”

“I go to art school,” Roman shrugged. “Theater program.”

“You do theater?” Patton asked, enthusiastic. Though thinking about it, it wasn’t very surprising — Roman had a sort of captivating presence, like he could charm anyone with his charisma, undoubtedly he’d do well on a stage. He continued. “That’s awesome! Do you wanna be an actor?”

“Indeed, soon enough I’ll be dazzling the crowds on the big stage!” Roman glanced toward his uniform and chuckled. “Maybe not so soon, but I will.”

Patton rested his chin in his hand with a grin. “Well, you already do a darn good job of dazzling the customers, so I’d say you’re halfway there.”

Roman laughed and took a dramatic bow. “I live to please.”

Before Patton could continue the conversation, a server came by their booth — he hadn’t even noticed them heading that way! They began setting their order at the table.

“Oooh, bagels!” Patton said as they slid a plate with four bagels — all with seemingly different flavors — plus jelly cookies towards the middle of the table.

Roman grinned. “Can’t go wrong with that.”

The server chuckled, sliding a milkshake towards Patton. “Have fun with your date, Ro.”

Roman winked in response. “I will, thanks, Becca.”

Patton glanced at the milkshake in front of him — strawberry from the look of it, topped with whipped cream and a cherry, all in a frankly very tall glass.

“That’s a big milkshake, huh,” he tittered. “Not sure if I can, um, drink all of that.”

“No need to fret,” said Roman. He then unwrapped a straw and swiftly slotted it next to Patton’s. “We could always share.”

“You’re really going for that 50s theme, aren’t you?”

“Theming is important!”

Patton laughed, picking up a bagel with cream and blueberry frosting. “It’s cute,” he said, before taking a bite off of it — just the right amount of sweetness with a perfect chewy texture. “Oh my goodness, this is sooo good!”

“Right?” responded Roman. “The bagels here are incredible, I don’t get them anywhere else and it’s not even because of loyalty to the employer or anything.”

Patton leaned in to take a sip of the milkshake next, only to find that Roman had done the same and they were mere inches apart.

He giggled, backing away. “I don’t think you thought the logistics of that very well.”

“I don’t know,” Roman spun the straw around with a smirk. “I think I thought that through just fine.”

Patton didn’t respond, instead opting to take a biscuit as an excuse to look away.

He ended up eating a few of them, and he had to ask Roman what jelly brand they used sometime because wow! He also soon finished his blueberry bagel, which was honestly illegally good all the way through. Picking up another bagel from the plate, he struck up a conversation again.

“So, is the program putting up any new plays soon?”

Roman’s eyes brightened. “Ooh, yes actually! We’re doing The Sound of Music.”

“Ooh, I know that one, raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…” Patton sang.

“Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,” continued Roman, his voice soft and perfectly pitched.

“Aw, your voice is so lovely! You’re a perfect fit for musicals.”

“Ah, thank you!” answered Roman - he averted his eyes, clicking his fingers against the table, and Patton realized he might have actually flustered the other, soon confirmed by the faint blush that tinted Roman’s cheeks.

Patton smiled but didn’t comment on it. “You know, I’d love to watch it, I can tell you’re very talented.” He paused. “Oop, can’t just invite myself to things like that.” Laughing, he rubbed the back of his neck.

“You like musicals, Patton?”

“Sure do!” he chirped. “My favorite is Cats, the performance is so wonderful!”

“I’d say that fits, huh Mr. future vet?”

Patton grinned. “Maybe so.”

“Well, I could never refuse a request from a fan,” said Roman with a smirk. “The play’s in a month, perhaps we could make a day out of it?”

“Deal!” He clapped his hands together. “You could also let me take you out on a date before then, hm?”

“I’ll have to consider that offer, though I warn you, good sir, I have quite high standards.”

Patton snorted. “I’m sure.”

The subject of theater came up again after that, Roman told him about all the preparations they’d done so far, plus the audition process – which sounded way too stressful for Patton, but Roman seemed ecstatic while speaking of it. The exchange ended up heading many ways, their roommates, their programs’ budget, and eventually Roman asked Patton about his aspiration to be a vet. He barely got the chance to stop himself before he went on a delighted rant about it. Roman listened intently, engaging with enthusiastic questions – as if what Patton said was the most interesting thing he’d ever heard – and darn it if that didn’t make him feel giddy. Eventually, the conversation hit its natural lull, and Patton looked to their table, surprised to find it was left with nothing but empty plates — he barely noticed they finished their order while talking. The activity in the diner had died down too, and a glance out the window told him it was rapidly getting dark.

He sighed. “I think I might have to leave already.”

Roman pouted. “So soon?”

“Aw, don’t look so sad,” Patton said, pulling out his cell phone and opening the contact book. He handed it to Roman. “Can I get your number? I’d love to talk with you again.” He smiled.

“And to arrange that date, huh?” Roman took it, typing in his information.

“Wow, you already considered the offer?”

Roman laughed. “Here.”

He handed the phone back and Patton glanced at the contact name.

“Your surname is Prince?”

“Indeed.”

“Aw, that fits!” Patton said as he picked up his things. “Because you’re so charming!”

“Some things are just meant to be.” Roman winked. “Goodbye Patton, see you soon.”

Patton waved as he left the booth, not being able to stop a huge grin from breaking through. “You better!”

He swiftly made his way out of the diner, passing through the brightly colored cyan and pink door — the sky outside was already a good shade of grey, so he’d have to walk faster if he wanted to get home before it was completely dark.

Despite that, he couldn’t find it in him to worry about that at all — not with buzzing excitement under his skin and pretty green eyes in his mind.

What a day, huh?

[look-ma-im-on-tv]

Cry for Help

This is my gift for Sanders Sides Secret Santa Gift Exchange 2021!!! And GUESS WHAT? @lokiamorstuffs ??? IT'S FOR YOU!!! I'm so happy I got assigned my bestie/zucchini for this, and I really hope you like it! Also, @sanderssidesgiftxchange

Description: Hurt/Comfort Witch AU where Remus uses his hallucination magic to mess with the other sides. But lately, it's been worse, with his 'pranks' becoming harsher and more frequent. Everyone's frustrated at first, but his brother Roman figures out what's going on and calls on a special someone to help.

Ships: Intrulogical, a bit of heavily hinted Moxiety on the side but can be interpreted as really good friends or a QPR.

Warnings: Cursing, suggestive wording but nothing too explicit, maybe derealization a bit, fake gore description, fire, fainting, if I forgot any let me know!

Word Count: 3,524

AO3 Link

“Remus, would you please refrain from animating my breakfast? I have no doubt that it’s you, and it is not particularly amusing,” Logan said after his eggs and bacon had seemingly come to life, gained faces, and started screaming obscenities at him. It was very much Remus’ style, which explained why he was to the side of Logan, fallen backward over the side of the couch cackling.

Remus very frequently played pranks, putting his hallucination-style magic to good use apparently. It was pretty frequent, at least once a week, that he would have one of the other five members of the household envision an octopus on the dinner table, or, as in this case, inanimate objects coming to life and cursing at people.

It was a very full house, with witches Remus, his brother Roman, Logan, Patton, Virgil, and Janus all under the same roof. Of course, both of the twins shared ‘hallucination magic,’ which was a fairly common magic type to be given. However, Roman used their magic less for pranks, and more for putting on movies and shows they had written. Logan had potions magic, which he enjoyed thoroughly, especially since it wasn’t much magic as it was science.

Patton and Virgil had been gifted complete opposite magics, almost as an insult from the council it would seem. Patton had light magic, which meant he could instantly summon magical light anywhere, anytime. Virgil, however, had darkness magic which, if you could guess, meant he could put out any light, though only in a certain radius. That was a trick to prevent Darkness Witches from blocking out the whole entire sun.

Janus had telepathic abilities, which she was quite the master of. They could read nearly anyone’s, or anything’s, mind if given enough time. Logan despised this; he really preferred to keep his thoughts to himself.

They’d all been living together for a while now, Logan would guess that it was about 5 years ago that late-comers Remus and Roman moved in, and they had very much fallen into routine. So Remus’ pranks hardly bothered Logan anymore, and he’d even get a little smile out of it when Remus would give a huge, goofy, knowing grin before he put one of his plans into work.

Remus would always start bouncing in place or tapping his foot with anticipation before scrunching up his nose with the effort and subsequently falling back with a crazy smile and huge booming laughter when his ‘victims’ shouted with surprise. Every single time this happened; Logan had noticed the pattern a while ago. It was… charming.

“Yo, you there, Professor Sexy?” said a voice, only about an inch from Logan’s face, catching him off guard and nearly making him topple off of his stool. It was Remus.

Logan felt his face flush with embarrassment. “What?” He felt a bit like a fool.

“Didn’t mean for that little joke to throw you so off guard.” Remus shrugged. “Whatever,” he ended, walking away and back upstairs to his room.

Logan shook his head, grateful that no one else saw him, and got up himself. His food didn’t exactly look appealing after it had just had eyes and a mouth, so Logan scraped it into the garbage before putting on his jacket, grabbing his suitcase by the door, and leaving for work.

Virgil rolled his eyes, “You’re gonna have to try harder than that!” he shouted through the door. “Spiders don’t scare me, asshole!” He was very aware that the spiders crawling all over his chair and body weren’t actually there, though it helped that he could only see them, not feel them. But he still darkened the room so that he wouldn’t have to see them.

The little eight-legged creatures popped out of existence with a puff of smoke, and Virgil chuckled. Remus always forgot that he’d (mostly) grown out of his fear of spiders at about nine years old.

Virgil’s phone dinged! and he checked for the notification. [Patton’s Birthday Tomorrow!] a light blue notification showed. “What?” he questioned aloud. It shouldn’t be! He thought he had like, a month left. But he did pretty frequently forget and procrastinate. “Oh no… Shit!”

Virgil jumped out of his chair and ripped the door handle open to find Remus waiting. Perfect. “Hey!” he whispered, “I need your help! I forgot about Patton’s birthday tomorrow, and I don’t have a…” Virgil furrowed his brow, seeing a dorky grin on Remus’ face. The realization dawned on him. “You asshole! What is wrong with you!” A dark cloud surrounded them.

Remus laughed, “You should’ve seen your face! You were so worried!” Virgil just frowned. “Hey, didn’t mean to spook you that bad. You really love that guy, huh? It was just supposed to be funny. How ‘bout we hang out as an apology from my end?” Virgil turned back into his room and slammed the door in Remus’ face. He huffed. That didn’t work.

Patton then heard a knock on his door. “Who’s there?”

Without permission, the door burst open, and Remus came running through it. Patton screamed. His head was halfway disconnected at the neck, blood running everywhere and tendons trying desperately to hold it in place. “Hey dad-friend, got a little a-head of myself and I think it’s a bit of a proble-”

Patton was horrified, he fell backward to the ground, tears covering his face, sobbing. Remus instantly reversed the hallucination.

“Oh, fuck, I’m sorry!” Remus ran up next to Patton, resting his hand on his arm and offering comforting words. He concentrated to bring up the image of an enormous stuffed bear, right next to Patton, and he managed to make it feel real too. “That was way too far, I didn’t think it’d freak you out that bad.”

Patton brought a bit more glow to the room, as if he was fending off the dark imagery in his head. “You’re… you’re okay? You’re not hurt?”

“No! It was just one of my tricks. See?” Remus tilted his head to the side and rubbed his neck. “All connected.”

Patton’s tears subsided and he furrowed his brows at Remus. “That was a very mean thing you just did. That really scared me, and I don’t appreciate that.”

“I know, I know. I won’t do that again, okay daddy dearest?”

“Thanks for the bear. But I’m gonna continue my knitting. Alone.”

Remus stepped back and blinked. “Uhm, yeah. Yeah, okay.” He stepped outside and the door closed behind him. It felt like he had been stabbed in the chest with an axe. He wished Logan was still here. He was easier to be around.

Dejectedly, he tapped on Janus’ door, ready to smile and throw a handful of snakes in his face. But there was no answer. Duh, Janus worked the night shift. He hadn’t even come home yet. So Remus ran downstairs and started plotting how to get Roman when suddenly, he had an idea.

Everyone upstairs perked up their heads when they heard an ear-piercing scream echoing from downstairs. Roman jumped so high, they nearly hit their head on the ceiling. They thought they could smell smoke and ran out of their room. Sure enough, they saw dark grey plumes billowing up from the kitchen through the stairwell. Roman ran down the long hallway, knocking loudly on all of the doors and shouting, “Fire! Everyone, there’s a fire! Get out!” Once they got to the end, they turned around and counted heads. Logan left for work, Janus wasn’t back yet. Patton, Virgil, and themself were there. Remus.

“Get outside! I have to find Remus!”

“I think he’s downstairs!” Patton shouted. Roman ran downstairs, taking them two at a time and jumping past the last four or five.

“Remus! Where are you?”

“Over here!” He was stuck in a corner, his dark eyes lit up by the fire and frozen in fear.

“You have to get over here, we have to leave!”

Remus felt his eyes weighing down, closing despite his efforts. The sheer exhaustion was hitting him. “I… I can’t.” His limbs went numb and he slipped out of consciousness as he fell to the floor.

The smoke, the noise, the fire, the heat, it all disappeared. Roman looked around, confused. Everyone entered the main room, closing the front door with Janus now joining them.

Roman’s face scrunched up in anger. “Goddamnit! Another joke?” They crouched down next to their brother. “Get up you asshole! You think that’s funny?”

Patton leaned down next to them. “I think he’s really asleep…”

“So? He needs to wake up and learn that he can’t just do that shit!”

Virgil groaned. “So he’s really on one today?”

“What do you mean?”

“He was bugging me earlier. Made me think that it was Patton’s birthday tomorrow and I hadn’t gotten him a present. Scared the shit out of me.”

Patton rubbed his face. “Yeah, he paid me a little visit too. Looked like he had a… serious injury. I also heard Logan getting after him for something too earlier. He’s been much worse than usual.”

“From the sound of that, I might actually be lucky that I had overtime at work,” Janus chimed in.

Roman sighed, rubbing their temples. “He always forgets that he can really just ask.”

“Ask what?”

Roman stood. “For help. And attention. He gets this way when he feels sad and lonely. It’s a very…” they rolled their eyes, “unique way of expressing it. Usually I notice sooner, he’s never pretended to set the house on fire.”

“He’s been lonely?” Janus asked, setting down her things by the door. “I thought I would have noticed that.” They shook their head. “He’s just being his usual ‘funny’ self. It’s not like I don’t check what in the world is going on inside that mad head of his when he decides to act like this.”

“I don’t know about that.” Roman shook their head. “I’ve just… seen this pattern before. It couldn’t hurt to try and help, could it?” Everyone shrugged.

“A movie day tends to help.” They looked at Remus. “Uhm… do any of you think Logan might be able to get today off? I could go pick him up so he doesn’t have to wait for a bus.”

“Why Logan?” Virgil asked.

Roman laughed a little. “Remus messes with Logan the most, but only in tiny little, not-very-scary ways.” They paused. “Look, if I know my brother, and I do, believe me, Logan will be able to help a lot.”

“I’ll text him!” Patton offered. Roman suggested that everyone should set up some movies and blankets while they were gone, and once they got an ‘affirmative’ answer from Logan, Roman got into their truck to go pick him up.

“So, am I finally going to get any sort of definitive answer as to what is going on, or are you going to leave me in the dark as well?”

“Patton didn’t tell you?”

“Not at all. He was very vague as to the situation, just insisted that it was ‘important’ that I come back home.”

Roman sighed. “Remus is… well he’s not doing great right now. And I’m sorry if he pulled any especially rude tricks on you this morning.”

“What? Is he okay? What’s wrong?” Logan felt his heart rate shoot up.

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. He’s just sad and needs some attention right now.”

“Just sad? Are you sure he’s okay? He seemed fine this morning, nothing out of the usual.”

“He made Patton think that he had been decapitated, and made all of us at once see the house burning down before he passed out from the effort. He tends to do some pretty harsh things when he’s feeling lonely. He’ll be fine, but we need your help to give him some comfort is all.”

“Lonely…? If I-” Logan coughed. “Wait, why do you need me? There are plenty of people at the house right now, aren’t there?” While Logan would lo-be very willing to comfort Remus in his time of need, he figured he’d just be sitting there awkwardly and taking up space.

“You don’t realize either?” Roman laughed. “Dude, he is absolutely in love with you.”

Logan’s breath caught in his chest. “What?” He tried to laugh, blow it off like he didn’t care, but it wasn’t very effective and came off more as panicked breathing. “Really?”

“Uh, yeah. Have you seen the way he looks at you?” Roman looked over at him and their eyes widened. “Oh, god, I hope you’re not mad. You don’t have to or anything, I can take you back to work if you want-”

“No!” Logan couldn’t believe his ears. Remus… loved him? Was it another trick? “I… I want to help.”

Remus, the fun-loving, crazy, impulsive, hot-as-hell Remus loved Logan? What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t possibly… could he? I mean, sure he had fantasized about combing his wild hair with his fingers as they watched a horror movie, or being hoisted up onto Remus’ wide shoulders and carried around as a distraction from his work, or of strong, gentle kisses in bed, but it wasn’t like that! He couldn’t be with Remus, he didn’t love him!

Unless… oh. Logan realized.

Oh.

He really did love Remus. Every bit of him. His sparkling deep brown eyes, the dark freckles that, if you looked closely, covered every part of him with no pattern, the way he laughed.

Logan groaned and buried his head in his knees, scaring Roman. “You okay? What’s going on?”

“I… I think I feel the same way about Remus.” He lifted his head. “Are you sure he feels that way about me? Romantically?”

Roman gave a small smile. “Absolutely.”

They pulled into the driveway and Logan rushed out of the car, his every thought consumed by Remus right now. I have to help him.

He ran inside and to the couch, Roman following. “Is he okay?”

Virgil laughed. “Yeah, he’s still asleep. You sure look worried.”

Logan felt his cheeks tint red. “Yes… can I sit next to him?”

Virgil stood up, gesturing to the now-empty spot on the couch. “Go ahead. But beware: he drools.”

Logan sat down, there was so little room between the arm of the couch and Remus’ head that he ended up with his head on his lap. Logan oh-so-wanted to run his fingers through his dark curly hair, but instead, he had his arms awkwardly stuck out to the sides to avoid touching him too much.

“He’s not sick and contagious you know,” Virgil mocked.

Logan rested his arms slightly. “When’s he gonna wake up?”

Patton shrugged. “Dunno. He was using his magic on all of us at the same time. And it was pretty realistic too. He’s pretty tired out after all that.”

Logan looked down. He’d hardly ever seen Remus so… calm.

“We’ve planned out some movies while you were gone, so I suggest you get into some comfier clothes,” Janus said, referring to the suit that Logan had on, “and then you can settle down.”

Logan frowned slightly at the idea of leaving Remus still asleep and un-comforted. However, he did have to admit that a change of clothes would make this a lot more comfortable. So he slid his way out from under his head and quickly walked up to his room to change.

He came back down in a (hopefully attractive) tank top and sweatpants and reclaimed his spot just as they started a movie. Logan wasn’t really paying attention though. He just had too much to think about.

A couple of movies later, Logan glanced down to see Remus’ dark eyelashes flutter as he blinked. How long had he been awake? “Remus!” he said in a whisper. He spoke up. “Are you quite alright?”

“Yeah, just tired, Dr. Hottie,” he said, causing Logan to turn bright red. Roman paused the movie and everyone turned to check on Remus.

Logan spoke softly, “Yeah? I heard. You really pushed yourself there, I am not at all surprised that you fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.” He paused. “There’s a… rumour going around that you might be a little lonely.”

Remus laughed. “Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about that?”

“Well, we’re here to comfort you.”

“We-” Remus sat up and looked around. “Wow, you really brought the whole party, huh?”

“More like the whole party brought me, but yes. We’re all here for you.”

Remus looked like he was about to say something, but all that came out was a lightly broken sigh.

Roman gave him a gentle smile, “It’s okay. We’ve got you now. You don’t have to pretend to set the whole house on fire to get us here.”

“I… Oh, I did do that. Sorry, I guess.” Remus remembered the look of fear in his brother’s eyes before he passed out. “That was too much. I shouldn’ta done that. Doesn’t matter what I’m trying to do.” He felt the pressure of the blanket on his legs and the warmth of everyone around him, of Logan at his back. He touched his finger to his cheek to find a tear. His eyes stung. “Shit, sorry I didn’t mean to-”

Virgil cut him off. “You can cry. That’s fine. None of us are gonna judge you here.”

“It’s healthy to let it out,” Logan said behind him. “Trust me.”

“I don’t…” Remus muttered. “I’m gonna just lay back down.” With reluctant tears falling from his eyes, he rested his head down on what he now fully recognized as Logan’s lap, and smiled a little before quickly falling back asleep.

As time went on, people started leaving the couch. Janus went to bed, Virgil went to his room thoroughly over-socialized, Patton went to his tutoring job, and Roman returned to his room ‘because.’

Leaving just Logan on the couch with a sleeping Remus on his lap. He let out a deep sigh. His muscles were getting tired, and he really couldn’t find it practical to keep his arms hovering a ways away from Remus. He settled into it, resting one arm over Remus’ shoulder and the other resting on the arm of the couch.

Logan was watching the movie with vaguely more focus than before when he noticed his fingers running through Remus’ soft hair. He smiled down at him lovingly, pretending that this was something that happened all the time to prevent his heart from beating right out of his chest.

Remus groaned and turned over onto his back, startling Logan into pulling his hand away. “Nonono,” he mumbled. “That was so nice and cozy, please don’t stop." He was hardly awake at all, so Logan weighed his odds of embarrassment and continued.

Remus had a soft little smile on his face, barely showing the edges of his slightly crooked teeth. Logan promised himself that he wasn’t staring at Remus’ lips right now.

“Mmn,” Remus hummed warmly. “Can…” he laughed sleepily. “I can’t believe I’m asking this right now, but it’s just- damn you’re really so pretty, Logan.” He rubbed his face a little to try and wake himself up more. “Can-can I have a kiss?”

Logan froze up like a broken computer. He could hardly breathe let alone give an answer. After what felt like an eternity, Logan managed out a whispered, “Yes.”

Remus smiled, wrapping his arms around Logan’s neck and pulling himself closer, pressing their lips together. Logan felt like he was going to faint, or maybe wake up. He couldn’t tell.

Logan also felt a tear that wasn’t his own and pulled away gently. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s a good tear. I’m happy to have everyone, especially you. It means love. And also that you’re super fucking sexy and kissing you is totally a dream come true.”

Logan felt like such a warm, safe space. He settled Remus’ mind when it was running at a hundred miles per hour but without shutting him down. He loved seeing the little smirk on his face whenever he would notice one of Remus’ illusions. And now he could finally admit it to him.

The two cuddled on the couch for at least another three hours before Patton got home and Roman left his room to check up on them. Roman conjured an image to the two of them of what looked like themselves being tv-style sappy and Logan buried his face in his hands. Remus just laughed and playfully punched his brother’s arm.

When the two got up so Patton could check Remus’ temperature and give him food and water, he gently reached for Logan’s hand and held him close. After Patton determined that Remus was safe, they all sat back down on the couch to continue watching some tv. Remus held his arms open, inviting Logan to curl up and cuddle, which he happily accepted, trying to ignore Patton’s “Awwww!” and Virgil handing Janus $20 behind the couch as if they couldn’t see. It was a nice calm moment to begin their crazy-in-love (emphasis on the crazy) relationship. And Remus didn’t have to set the kitchen on fire ever again.

[izzyfandoms]

A Sleep So Sweet - Chapter Ten

When Emile discovered he was the soulmate of the prince of a magical species known as Beings, he did not know how to react. Beings were terrifying, powerful creatures, who often did not care for humanity, and, in their first meeting, his soulmate, the sleep prince, seemed to be no different.  

Will Emile fall in love with his soulmate, or are they simply not meant to be?

SHIPS: Remile (the whole fic is Remile, but it does not show up in this chapter), background Moxiety

WARNINGS: Loneliness, a type of hypnosis, forced love, mild violence, almost kidnapping

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @aj-draws @phantomofthesanderssides @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game @because-were-fam-ily @imtryingthisout @a-creepycookie @littlestr @spooky-scary-virgil @fuyel @mimsidoodles @soupgremlin @aroaceagenderfluid @birdsbookshiddeninrealbirdsskin @quirkalurk @gingers-trashy-stuff @iinyxtello @justaqueercactus @melodiread @mrbubbajones @pun-master-logan @gayturtlez @k1ngtok1 @yourneighborhooddisaster @alexxander-the-gay @full-of-roman-angst-trash @selfcarejanus

A SLEEP SO SWEET TAGLIST: @spellingwillbethedeathofme @unicornofdarknessstuff

Masterpost

A Sleep So Sweet Masterpost

“How was work today?” Logan asked over the phone as Emile walked down the street.

Emile hummed, thoughtful, his eyes scanning over the darkening sky. The sun was setting, making the sky a beautiful picture – oranges and pinks and blues surrounding the clouds – and he was enjoying getting to look at it as he walked home from work.

There were multiple people walking in the streets around him, and a few cars passed by, too. They all paid Emile no attention as he walked down the street, on the phone with one of his best friends.

“It was good!” Emile said. “Had some wonderful sessions with a few patients. Of course I can’t tell you any details, but they were good! How was your work?”

“Satisfactory. I had some disruptive students in class today, but I dealt with them easily.”

“I bet you’re the best teacher,” Emile said with a smile, though he knew his friend could not see the look on his face. “You’re so smart!”

“Thank you, Emile,” Logan responded, and Emile could only just hear the hints of a smile in his voice. Or, well, he could hear that almost smile that occasionally showed up on Logan’s face: a rare treat. It was even rarer to see a full smile appear on Logan’s face. “I’d like to hope that my students find my teaching satisfactory.”

“I’m sure they do,” Emile said, his words genuine. “Anyone would be lucky to have you as a teacher. I bet I would’ve loved school even more if I had you as my teacher!”

“Thank you,” Logan said. “I do think I am a rather adequate teacher.”

Emile smiled. “I think you’re perfect!”

“You have never seen me teach.”

“But I know you! And you’ve taught me plenty of things. You’ve told me all sorts of things about astrology that I didn’t know before!”

“Astronomy,” Logan corrected immediately. He paused. “But I suppose you make a good point.”

Emile smiled again. “I always make good points,” he joked.

“Perhaps a slight exaggeration, though you are mostly correct.”

Emile laughed. He stopped as he reached the end of the street, looking left and right and finding no cars in sight, before he crossed the road.  

“Thank you, thank you,” he said.  

He continued his walk alone down the street, paying more attention to the sky and its beauty than he was to the rest of his surroundings. He barely noticed the buildings around them, and the fact that the lights were now all off, and he didn’t notice that he was the only person walking down the street.

“Well, as nice as this conversation is, I have papers to mark,” Logan said, and Emile could imagine he was checking the watch he always wore. “I would like to finish them in time to watch a documentary on fonts that I have been saving for a free evening.”

“That sounds fascinating! You might have to send me the details,” Emile said. “It was nice talking to you! Bye!”

“Goodbye,” Logan said, before he hung up.

Emile lowered his phone, pocketing it and looking around himself.  

The sky was still pretty, with clouds everywhere against the background of oranges and pinks and blues, though Emile couldn’t see the whole sunset at that moment with the buildings around him in the way. The streets were empty, and there were no longer any cars driving down the roads.  

Wait.

The streets were empty? There were no people or cars?

Emile blinked, surprised, and then looked around himself again, scanning the streets. There was no one around him, when there previously had been a few only minutes prior. There were no cars, either, and it certainly wasn’t late enough for an area like this to be abandoned. The sky was still light enough to see without the street lights!

A sense that something was wrong appeared in the pit of Emile’s stomach as he looked around again, more panicked this time. He swallowed anxiously.  

Where was everyone? What had happened?

His eyes flicked to the buildings around him. All of the lights were off, and the sense of doom strengthened.

Should Emile knock on a door? Should he look for someone? Should he run away?

Something was clearly wrong. There was no other explanation. Was there some natural disaster coming that everyone had been alerted to but Emile had not been?

He pulled out his phone, checking for notifications, but finding nothing. He pocketed his phone again.

Was this... something supernatural? Was this the work of a Being?

Emile still did not really know what Beings were capable of. Could they make everyone disappear like this? Had someone done something to Emile, was he hallucinating? Or was he truly alone? Had someone done something to everyone in this area? That seemed even less likely. How could someone – even a Being – do something to everyone around him without him noticing?

Maybe that was what happened. Emile was still pretty unfamiliar with how Beings worked. Who knew what they were capable of?

Emile swallowed again, looking around even more frantically this time. There was still nobody around. He remained alone.

Emile’s heart began to pound, loud enough that he could hear it. His breath quickened. Panic began to set in and he clenched his hands into fists.

Okay. Okay. He needed to do something. He did not need to panic, he needed to do something else, though he wasn’t sure exactly what he needed to do.

He looked around once more, and his eyes landed on a nearby door. He rushed over to it, raising his fist and knocking rapidly against it. He waited, impatient and shifting his weight from one foot to the other, but no response came. He knocked a few more times, but still no response came.  

Emile’s head spun around frantically, and he rushed over to another door. He knocked again, but no response came. He went to another door, and there was yet again no response.

Just as he reached the fourth door – raising his hand to knock – a voice appeared behind him, so sudden that it made Emile jump and almost slip on the damp pavement.

“Hello, Emile.”

The voice filled Emile with a simultaneous fear and relief that clashed inside of him like two waves crashing into each other and filling him with swirling nausea. He froze for a single moment, before he spun around, unsure of what his eyes would land on when he saw the one who had spoken.  

It was a Being, unmistakably, with pink skin, red hair and red eyes with heart-shaped pupils.

There was a single moment where it felt like time was frozen, before the relief and fear was yanked out of him so rapidly that he almost threw up. It was immediately replaced with pure, unsullied adoration.

He loved the Being standing in front of him. Loved everything about them, though he knew nothing about them. It didn’t matter that he knew nothing, he loved them. That was undeniable.

Emile did not know what to say, he just stared at this Being – who he loved – for a few seconds, before they smiled at him, showing off two rows of sharp, pure white teeth.

“Hello, Emile,” they said. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

They held out their hand for Emile to shake. Emile hesitated for a few moments. This Being was perfect, did he really have the right to touch them? But he wanted to touch them, he really, really, really wanted to be close to them. He wanted to be absorbed into their skin and never ever leave their side.  

How had he survived so long without them?

Emile took their hand, feeling their warm skin against his own, and allowing them to shake it firmly. They then released Emile’s hand, to Emile’s disappointment.

“What- what can I call you?” Emile asked awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

He stared at this Being, wanting nothing more than to be by their side forever. He wanted to hold their hand, to hold their body, to do whatever they said whenever they requested it.

The Being hummed, resting one hand on their hip and tapping their foot against the ground.

“You humans and your names. So strange, so... useless,” the Being said, seeming amused. “But I suppose it would do no harm to come up with something. Well, I’m a Being of love, so maybe Love works just fine.”

“Love,” Emile repeated. “Love. Love, Love, Love. I love that. I love you.”

Love laughed. “Oh, I do so love the effect I have on humans. It can be very useful. As can my friend’s abilities.” Love let out another little laugh. “Well, I say friend, but they’re not the friendliness of Beings. They’re made out of loneliness, after all!” Love tilted their head, giving Emile a smile that should have made him uncomfortable, but he instead adored it. They spread out their arms. “I mean, they’re the reason you’re all alone right now! Well, besides me. Isn’t that interesting?”

Emile nodded enthusiastically, eager to agree with Love.

Love smiled, reaching out with their hand, and Emile took it immediately. The skin was still strangely warm, like how it felt to hold a burning-hot tray with oven gloves on.

“Why don’t you come with me?” Love said, continuing to smile. “I mean, you want to do everything I ask, don’t you?”

“Of course!” Emile said. “I’ll do anything for you.”

“Of course you would. You’re good, you’ll do everything I say, won’t you?” Love let out a laugh. “Now come on, I have somewhere to bring you.”

Love began to pull Emile down the street – Emile going along willingly, eager to do absolutely anything that Love asked.  

But then, there was a thump behind Emile, and Emile barely even noticed it. But when Love turned to look, Emile turned, too.

And there was Virgil, wielding a sword and glaring fiercely at Love, like he hated them. Despised them. Wanted them dead. The moment Emile’s eyes landed on Virgil, the love for Love was gone, like it had been ripped right out of his heart, so violently that he wanted to throw up. It was replaced by fear, pure fear, and Emile could hear vomit rise in his throat. He barely managed to swallow it.

Then, Love squeezed his hand, and it was like he was sending pure love through their intertwined fingers. It swirled around the fear, and Emile’s head began to ache. He wanted to let go of Love’s hand, but he also despised the thought of it, and he was frozen in place.

His hand remained in Love’s and his eyes remained on Virgil.

Virgil’s eyes flicked to Emile. He seemed to think for a moment, before he turned back to Love.

“Let go of him,” Virgil commanded.

Love yanked Emile closer to him, which wasn’t enough to tear Emile’s eyes away from the Being of fear.

“He’s mine,” Love hissed, his grip tightening enough that it started to hurt, but Emile could hardly focus on that.

“He doesn’t belong to anyone,” said another new voice. It was familiar – soothing – but Emile couldn’t focus enough on it to figure out who was speaking. He couldn’t even turn his head to look at them.

Then, Virgil leapt towards Love, swinging his sword. Love jumped back, yanking his hand away from Emile, and the loss of Love’s touch and the sight of Virgil made the fear and love both spill out of Emile’s body like rushing blood, and he stumbled, feeling an emptiness inside of him that made him dizzy.

He stumbled, almost falling to the ground, but was caught by someone other than Virgil and Love.

A memory filled his head.

Watching Steven Universe with Thomas and Logan.

Talking. Laughing.

Gasping.

The memory was all that was left inside his head. There were no feelings attached to it – nothing else inside of him.

And the moment the memory left his head, everything went dark.