#hinted moxiety

[loganslowdown4]

Incorrect Quotes

November 2023

- January 2024

Pay It Behind

Factually Incorrect (Logan’s Bday)

Make You Cry

Milkshake. (Intruality)

The Darkness

I Made Tea

Don’t Correct Me

Upsexy

Updog (sequel)

Free Kicks (Demus)

Fluffy The Chicken (sorta logicality IQ sequel)

Chef Compliments (moceit)

Cake Punch

Gay Looks (logince)

Future Nuptials (analogical)

Cold Topic

Fix My Door (Intrulogical)

Nothing Can Cheer Me Up (prinxiety)

Heart Worm (analogical)

Glitter Inside (logince)

Leave Out The Buts

Borrow Your Best Friend (moceit)

Race Up The Stairs (prinxiety)

Pass the Salt

A Video Call (prinxiety)

Insanely Obvious Hints (Moxiety)

Mean Sides (Jan/Remy)

In The Dark (Lomoceit)

Anticipating Needs (Logince)

Principles (prinxiety)

Attic

Chores Before Whores (moceit)

Bisexual Hands (logicality)

My Job Is Sword

Stress Ball

Bored Drama

Light Me Up (royality; anxceit)

Come Out (royality)

Loud Annoying Kidnapping

Flowers For You (multi ship)

Maternal Figure/Problem Child

Bad Boys With Kittens

Everyone To Therapy! (Emile’s Birthday!)

Hugging The Ground

Wrong Lunch

Time Is A Construct (Vee’s Birthday)

Swinging At Demons

Pits Of Hell Bath Bomb

Can’t Swim

Where’s the trust?

Christmas Dinner

Straight Up Cry

Bang Your Fist Against Mine

Surgery

Never Moved So Fast

YOU’RE IN CHARGE?!

NYE Sanders Sides

Queerios

Bath Toaster

Uncooperative

Screw Me If I’m Wrong (prinxiety)

We Thought You Knew (analogical)

Irresponsible

Fell Onto His Lips (logince)

[thetomorrowshow]

Slower Than Words Ch. 6

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12

I have suddenly found myself with the intense need to rearrange future chapters (of which there are currently five), so some things won’t happen in the same way--but hopefully better ways, if this works out! This shouldn’t delay any chapters lol.

cw: food mentions, panic, blood mention, unethical surgery/experiments (in the recent past)

~

Patton had eaten five meals, and Virgil still wasn't back yet. He tried to not panic. His ears and head still ached from whatever operation he'd went through—which he had suspicions about. Were they trying to make him hear? It hadn't worked, if that was it. And if so, were they currently trying to cure Virgil's blindness?

There wasn't much to do, without Virgil there. Patton walked around the room constantly, refusing to pull their book from under the pillow without Virgil there. He made up new signs to teach Virgil when he got back, one for 'hope' and another for 'out' and a third for 'free'. He washed his shirt in the sink, froze when he went to hang it on the unused bed and saw Virgil's hoodie already there. He completely broke down when the next meal arrived, still only one serving on the tray.

After the sixth meal, Patton just stopped. He couldn't imagine life without Virgil, so he just stopped everything. The seventh meal was pushed through the flap, but Patton couldn't find the motivation to get off the bed. He'd never felt this way before—even when Father had been taken, he'd continued to go about his life. He'd been rather disconnected for some time, but he hadn't just fallen apart like this.

What did Virgil mean to him? Patton tried to tell himself to grow up. Why was he this hung up over an Outsider? But Virgil wasn't just an Outsider, wasn't he? Virgil was . . . more. More than a friend, more than anyone in the Haven, more than the so-called 'Prophets' that led them. Virgil made him feel all funny in his stomach when he smiled, made him laugh with his wry looks, made Patton feel safe when he held him. Was that . . . love?

Then the eighth meal didn't arrive when it was supposed to. Patton wasn't sure how he knew that—some sixth sense, probably. It confused him, and just as he was sitting up, the door opened.

Two men dragged a soaked, pale body into the room, and it took Patton far too long to recognize his Virgil. The man was shaking, utterly convulsing, and had it not been for the look that one of the men—'Brother' Coleman, Patton thought snidely—leveled at him, Patton would have already been on the floor, holding Virgil close. Instead, he curled back onto the bed slightly, seeing the men laugh at his submission then leave the room, slamming the door behind them.

Patton dove to the ground and took Virgil by the shoulder, intending to wrap him in a hug. He pulled back as if he'd touched a stove when Virgil violently flinched away. He couldn't hurt him, not Virgil! Still, he needed Virgil to know he was safe. Patton took his wrist as gently as possible, slowly tracing his own name onto Virgil's arm. Virgil relaxed considerably, his mouth moving in the way that Patton knew formed his own name. His screwed-shut eyes relaxed, then his head slumped, his body slowly losing all the tension it had been holding. He was still shuddering, sending droplets of water every which way, but Patton assumed he was asleep.

I'm sorry, Virgil. He wasn't strong enough to pick Virgil up, despite being the larger one of the two. Father had never let him build muscles, always signing something about 'being seen as a threat' when Patton asked why. Instead, he eased Virgil out of his sopping t-shirt and jeans and stripped the two blankets from the bed, wrapping him in them instead. For the moment, he left the sopping clothes on the floor as he brushed Virgil's wet hair out of his face. The man's hair had grown too long in the months they'd been captive, almost curling around his shoulders. Virgil's forehead was far too hot (the rest of his body clammy and cold) and Patton could have cried—was crying, because this was the only person who cared about him, the only person he cared about, and he could be dying! They'd hurt Virgil, those monsters, doing it in the name of some stupid religion!

Patton's eyes burned, but he pushed aside his roiling feelings in favor of easing a pillow under Virgil as he noticed how his head was bumping up and down as he shook. Virgil needed his help, and being upset about something he couldn't control wouldn't help him.

Patton gently took Virgil's hand, slowly caressing his knuckles. The man stayed asleep, though the line between his eyes smoothed out just the slightest bit. Another tear slipped from Patton's eye. They'd hurt him, they'd hurt him and they didn't care! Not only had they hurt Virgil, an Outsider—his blood boiled at the term—but they'd hurt Patton, a brother like them!

No, Patton had never been a brother. He was different. Maybe they'd thought if they were able to fix him he could be just like them. As a child, all he'd wanted was to be normal, be like them. Even up until recently he'd wished for it, knowing that if he could hear, they wouldn't have locked him up like this, hurting him in their attempts to make him right.

Now, though, Patton knew he never wanted to be like them. They were terrible; the way they treated Patton had nothing to do with his disability and everything to do with the type of horrible people they were. They preached love and caring, while those who didn't fit precisely into their ideal world were forced to conform or suffer—or both, in his case.

These people, these people that Patton had once considered himself one of, had tortured him—locked him up—kidnapped and tortured Virgil, gods, they were monsters!

Patton fully sobbed now, careful to not grip Virgil's hand too tight and wake him up. He had never wanted to leave this place more in his life. If they could get out, everything would be so much better. He would actually be able to take care of Virgil, to keep him safe and close. They would never touch Virgil again.

-

Patton knew when Virgil woke up, as the body beside him began to tremble. After around twenty minutes of Virgil being asleep and Patton rubbing his limbs with one of the blankets, the shaking had begun to die down. Patton hadn't slept at all, his blood still boiling, so he'd been awake hours later when Virgil's flushed face cooled down, the fever breaking.

Now, Patton watched with bated breath as those beautiful, clouded grey eyes flickered open—but they weren't. They were red, bloody, filled with pain. Patton forced himself to not pull back as his stomach lurched. Virgil's brow furrowed deeply, then his eyes closed again as his lips moved.

Patton gripped his wrist gently, letting him know he was there. He quickly spelled out Virgil's name, watching and sighing at the smile that flitted onto Virgil's face. Virgil's hand shakily traced a 'P' back before falling.

The food had arrived not long before, so Patton gently tugged Virgil into his lap and pressed a cup of water to his lips. Virgil obediently took a sip, chest twitching as he almost choked. A quick question of food? had Virgil nodding, so Patton scooped up a small amount of instant mashed potatoes, then another when it was gone. Virgil only managed half the serving before he had to tap out, shaking more than earlier.

Patton knew that it would help Virgil to be on the bed, but with the way his legs were twitching he didn't think it would be wise to try to help him stand. So, he did the only thing he could think of to comfort him—get his hoodie and curl up at his side.

Virgil cried when Patton wrapped the hoodie around him, tugging at Patton's heartstrings. All he wanted in life were two things:

To comfort Virgil in any way possible, and

To get revenge on the bastards that hurt him.

Virgil didn't seem to want to sleep again, so Patton left him for a moment—only a moment, but it had Virgil shaking harder—and returned with their book, opening it to page sixty-eight, where they had left off last. Only ten words in, Virgil jerked his arm away. Patton waited patiently. Virgil was likely experiencing sensory overload, which happened occasionally depending on how anxious he was. Patton didn't move, and soon Virgil tapped a short sentence into his arm.

Please hold.

Patton melted, then placed the book aside and wrapped his arms around Virgil. He squeezed the man's shoulders gently, and Virgil buried his face into his chest and wept.

I'm here, Patton did his best to telepathically communicate. I'm here and I love you and I won't hurt you.

If Virgil understood, he didn't show it. Patton settled for pulling him closer, rubbing slow circles into his back and nuzzling his nose into Virgil's hair.

I love you. I love you so much.

~

Taglist (ask to be added/removed): @enragedbees @gotta-love-alejandra @bunny222 @basiic-emo @patt0n-sanders @rosiepupper @fangirlgeekandfreak @dn-fan21 @that2000skid @remy-the-lemon-berry @itsadastraperaspera @xionbean @sanderssides-angst @hell-yea-we-gay-tonight @maybedefinitely404

[the18thmeatball]

So, I took this and kinda ran with it. Here you go.

A Wink and an Impulse

Sitting in their little college dorm, Logan looked at Virgil a little weird. When Virgil finally realized something was up, he moved a bit closer to his best friend of nine years.

“Virgil, before you say anything, I need to get something off my chest.”

A little taken aback, Virgil prompted him to go on. “I think I might have romantic feelings for someone.” Seeing as Virgil hardly reacted, Logan continued. “One of our friends, and I don’t know what to do.”

Virgil looked a bit sceptic, and quickly reminded Logan that Patton was his.

“I know, I like Roman.”

Virgil just stared blankly. “You know he’s straight, right?” It came out of his mouth before he knew what to do.

“Oh. Didn’t he go to pride last year?”

“He’s trans, Lo.”

“Didn’t he also have a boyfriend?”

Virgil decided to go with it, he felt kinda bad but he already ruined Logan. Besides, this was kind of fun.

“It was an experimental thing, he told us that.”

“He did? When?”

“Must have been when you were to focused in falling in love.”

“What? I’m not in love with him. It might not even be a romantic thing, you know how I am with emotions.”

“Whatever, good luck!” Virgil shouted as he started running to Patton’s place down the hall to tell him hiw badly he messed up.

——————————————————————

The next few weeks went by like clockwork, save for the few times Roman looked at Logan directly. That had absolutely destroyed the love stricken robot.

Logan had to act normal until Roman winked at him. He winked. At him. How in the whole wide world can you recover from a gorgeous boy winking at you? If a little wink like that sent him over the edge, Logan needed to do something.

“Hey, Roman! Can I talk to you for a bit?”

“Uh, yeah. Sure. What’s up?”

“I have romantic feelings for a man I believe to be straight. What should I do?”

Roman looked dejected as he answered “I think you should tell him, to get closure. And who knows? Maybe he’s just in the closet.” Roamn started to walk away but stopped when he heard Logan say:

“Maybe. Roman, I have romantic feelings for you. I know Virgil told me that you’re straight, but-“

“You think I’m straight?!” Roman yelled with a look of pute disbelief on his face. “I had a boyfriend for three months. I went to pride!”

“Well, in my defense you are trans.”

“I had a rainbow flag.”

“You could have been doing it in alliance.”

“I kissed a guy.”

“Maybe you were just trying to prove a point, you are very theatrical.”

“And I thought me being so theatrical was kind of a gay stereotype, but apparently you can’t read in between the lines.”

“I hate stereotypes. You know that. Besides I just told you that I have romantic feelings for you. Isn’t that a little more important?”

“Yeah sure, I like you too. But you thought I was straight?”

“Virgil told me you were about a month ago, so I thpught he was just saving from inevitable heartbreak.”

“Virgil told you I’m straight?”

“Yes, I thought that was obvious.”

“That little fu-“

“Hey, don’t talk bad about him.”

“Also, you said that you like me?”

It was now Roman’s turn to panic. Logan was now smirking at him and had stolen all of Roman’s confidence.

“Well, I mean- I do, but I don’t- I like you.” Roman stuttered with as much finesse as a newborn deer on ice.

“Roman, may I kiss you?”

“What?”

The confidence drained from Logan as he defended himself.

“Isn’t that what people with mutual romantic feelings do?”

“Sometimes, yeah.”

They looked at each other sheepishly until Roman couldn’t take it anymore. He surged froward and pulled Logan down by his tie.

——————————————————————

That was seven years ago. The two “love birds” (as Patton called them) were in the living room of their apartment, slow dancing to Ed Sheeran. They’ve been together through all of those seven years. All because of one wink and an impulse.

Let me know if you like it! I’d be happy to take writing requests btw.

Ts Sides Fanfic Idea

This would be a human au or just not a Thomas-verse au but someone tells someone that’s crushing on like Roman that Roman is straight -as a joke- cuz u know he’s the the furthest thing from straight

But then the person that’s told that believes it and they mention it back to the original person who’s like “yeah right” before realizing they’re serious and actual believe Ro is straight and just break down laughing

I feel like Logince would be rly cute here but go with whatever ship u want!!! Pictured the friend as Remy but that could fit a lot of them :)))

[ifeellikeameowster]

What the sides gift Virgil for his birthday!

Logan gives him more ebooks and podcasts he thinks would soothe or interest Virgil. Roman gives him all of his favorite emo band albums but as vinyls because ~classy vintage aesthetic~. Patton gives him a few stress ball plushies ( a black cat, a Jack Skellington, etc). Deceit gives him several creepy cute accessories (such as skeleton hand hair clips, bat wing bows, ouija planchette earrings, crow skull ring, etc.)

Bonus: Remus hunts down one of his favorite cryptids and gives it to him as a new pet. (Like a small, fluffy mothman or jersey devil.) (Also if it’s a mothman they end up naming it Luna Mothballs Mothra because they couldn’t agree on just one name. They call it Mothra for short though.)

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

An Open and Honest Conversation About Our Feelings

Ao3,  MasterPost

Relationships: Moxiety, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Roceit and Intrulogical.

Warnings: Food mention, all sympathetic sides, swearing, crying, hurt/comfort, excessive fluff and somftness. 

Word Count: 1,779

Virgil woke up at 12:00PM dull every day, because there are no rules in quarantine and fuck you. And due to the fact that all of his fellow sides continued to maintain ‘reasonable’ sleep schedules (nerds), he was almost always the last awake. Today was seemingly no exception, as Virgil trudged down the stairs with a yawn to find his family long done with breakfast.

 Janus was the first to register his presence, curled up in the corner of the sectional with Roman. 

“There’s something breakfast-adjacent left for you in the kitchen,” he informed with a mischievous look at the trait beside him.

“We were working with what we had! I’m sorry I’m not a master chef like Dad.” Roman argued, prompting Logan to peek his head in from the kitchen. 

“The more you call Patton that, the more I worry that it’s some kind of complex.”

He ducked into the other room before Roman could effectively throw a pillow at him. 

“Remus is a terrible influence on you!” 

There was a shrill laugh from the kitchen. 

“Damn right I am!”

Virgil shook his head at the interaction and contemplated going right back to bed. There was something bugging him, though. 

“So where is Pat?”

“He wasn’t here when we came down. We decided to let him sleep in. Totally not like he needs it,” Janus said idly. 

That on it’s own would be fine (he really did need a day off), but Patton was asleep later than Virgil? At the very least it was weird. But nobody else seemed particularly concerned about the side, and Anxiety wasn’t always the best judge of what was and was not worth freaking out over. He pushed it out of mind and went to find something to eat. Patton was probably fine. Probably. 

It was 3:00pm and things were not fine. No one had seen a trace of Patton all day. After surmising that all of the idiots Virgil inhabited a brain space with weren’t correctly worried, he took matters into his own hands. He glared at his best friend’s door for a good time before he finally caved and knocked, hoping for nonchalance (how do you knock nonchalantly? Probably not like that, dude). After all, maybe Patton really had just overslept. For eight hours. Yeah. 

There was a slight gasp from behind the door. Virgil felt his stomach drop and listened closely for a response. 

“Who is it?” Morality’s voice was barely audible, a rasping and raw croak. He very clearly hadn’t been getting any sleep, let alone extra. Virgil placed his hand on the door.

“It’s- it’s me.” 

No response.

“Can I come in?”

There was a beat, and then the lock clicked open. Anxiety took a steadying breath before entering Morality’s room, carefully closing the entryway behind him. His eyes widened at the scene before him.

Patton was laying on top of the covers in his bed. His eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, not to mention so unfocused that you’d think that nobody was home behind them. Tears tracked down his face and turned his complexion worryingly red, a contrast to the gray of his cat sweater. 

“...Pat?” Virgil whispered. Patton tilted his head and attempted to smile at him, which only served to be more heart-wrenching to see than the dull upset that previously encompassed his expression.

“Hey, Virge. What’s up?”

Virgil snorted, but there was no humor in the sound. 

“That’s what I wanna know,” he sat on the edge of the bed, maintaining a respectful distance, “C’mon, you can talk to me.”

“...Can I?”

The question was nearly silent, but Anxiety couldn’t have missed it in a thunderstorm. The trait blinked in a mix of concern and confusion.

“Uh, yeah? I mean, I won’t make you, but you’re always trying to talk me down when I get upset, or whatever. That’s what friends are for, right?”

Patton pushed himself up, leaning back against his pillows.  When he looked at Virgil again, he didn’t pretend to smile. 

“You don’t have to do this.”

“What?”

“I- I know that I’ve been a lot lately. I know you need space right now, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to be here for me. I’ll be okay, it’s just one of those days- you know?” 

Virgil’s stomach sank as realization dawned on him. 

“What are you talking about?” he needed to hear it. 

“You- well- you kinda… snap at me? Whatever I say always seems to be… the wrong thing to say. I’m sure you have a reason for being upset with me, though! And you don’t have to tell me what it is, either,” Patton kept his eyes down as he spoke, “It’s fine, really!”

Anxiety didn’t know what to say. Or maybe he didn’t know what not to say, because there was so much that he should be saying. He could see his friend- his best friend, always there for him even when it was excessive- trying not to cry again. It hurt to look at, it was heartbreaking to look at in a way it really shouldn’t have been. 

His mind flashed with all the times he’d berated Patton, or shut him down, or just brushed him off- and wasn’t not being listened to exactly what made him treat Morality worse in the first place? How hadn’t he noticed before?

Oh god, Virgil had been quiet too long and he still had no clue what to say. This was why talking about emotions wasn’t in his department!

Virgil twisted his fingers in his sleeve as an idea formed. He inched a little closer to Patton, trying to will away the nervousness and regret that creeped in him so he could focus. Patton watched him from the corner of his eye as Anxiety took his hand and entwined their fingers. 

The moral trait looked up at him with scores of conflicting emotions flitting across his face. Virgil outstretched his other arm, an offering that he rarely gave to anyone and one he almost never gave to anybody other than Patton. 

The side threw himself into Virgil’s arms without hesitation, hiding his face in the fabric of his hoodie. Virgil wrapped his arms around Morality’s shaking shoulders and held him close.

“I didn’t-” his voice cracked. Shit, try again.

“You’re amazing, Pat. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t mad at you, like, not really.”

Patton’s head was resting on his collarbone. He took deep, shuddering breaths as his shaking abated. Virgil continued.

“This is all my fault, I should have just talked to you-”

Patton shook his head sharply.

“Me feeling bad wasn’t ‘cuz of you. It happens. And you did talk to me about what was wrong, I’m the one that didn’t listen-”

“I didn’t listen either, I just brushed you off! I made you feel like I didn’t want to be around you!”

“That’s exactly what I did to you! T-The first part.”

“It’s different-”

Patton cut him off with laughter, his eyes crinkling up at the edges. Virgil was only surprised for a moment before he cracked up too, letting the situation really sink in. How were they both so dumb?

A few times over they stopped, looked at each other, had another bout of giggles, and had to calm down again. Patton had gradually moved so that he was sat on Virgil’s lap, which certainly didn’t help alleviate the giddiness in his chest. 

“I’m really bad at this,” Anxiety said, sliding his arms down to hold around Morality’s waist.

“At what?” 

“Don’t know. Talking about stuff.”

“Me too. Don’t tell anybody though, I have a reputation.” 

Virgil gave another laugh and rested his chin on Patton’s head. 

They breathed.

“I’m tired, Vee.” 

“Same.”

“No, I meant... emotionally.”

“I know what you meant, Pat.”

Without another word, Patton pulled the both of them down to lie on the bed. He kicked his feet under his comforter and muttered that ‘a nap might help anyway’, and ‘would you stay? Please?’, and there wasn’t a chance that Anxiety could say no to that if he wanted to (which he did not). 

They exchanged some more whispered conversation while wrapping themselves with blankets. As the minutes passed, Virgil couldn’t help focusing on the way his friend’s arms tightened around his waist, or the way he laughed into his shoulder and pressed somehow closer. Virgil’s heart picked up- he didn’t like physical contact on the best of days, and this was more than he could ever remember enduring. The strange thing this time was that he wasn’t uncomfortable with it, no, he felt safe and warm and cared for and so so so-

Oh, fuck. 

“-irgil? Virgil?” 

“Sorry- yeah?”

Morality pulled back a bit. Virgil hoped to God that he wouldn’t dwell on the zoning out. Thankfully, he seemed to have something else on his mind.

“Thank you. For everything. This is just what I needed.” 

Patton was watching him with just an impossibly sweet expression. Virgil felt a spike of something- bravery, stupidity, recklessness, whatever you wanted to call it- in his chest. He couldn’t not say those three little words, not for another second. 

“I love you.”

Patton smiled so wide it looked painful, laughing giddily.

“I love you, too!”

“No,” immediately his fear was back tenfold and this was an awful idea, “I- I meant like, ro-”

“I know what you meant, Virge,” Patton said softly, looking amused and oh-so smitten. Virgil swallowed, pressing their foreheads together. His face was on fire and his chest hurt and his throat was dry but he couldn’t help smiling back at his friend- best friend- boyfriend?- his Patton.

The Heart tilted his head forwards a bit, bumping their noses together.

“Can I…?”

Virgil nodded quickly, accidentally shifting the trait’s glasses. Patton giggled, removing them and placing them on the bedside table before bringing his hands up to cup Virgil’s face and resuming their position. Gently- achingly gently- he pressed their lips together. Anxiety felt himself melt. The kiss was soft and sweet and cautious; it felt hours long and too short at the same time. When they broke apart, Patton looked at him like he’d hung the stars in the sky (Virgil was sure that his expression was much the same, but he wasn’t particularly worried about his reputation at that moment). 

“Thanks,” Patton said once more, laying his head back down on Virgil’s chest. The trait grasped for some response that could possibly articulate all that he was feeling, but by the time he opened his mouth, Morality was already asleep. With an amused huff, he followed suit and got some much needed rest.

@shrimp-crockpot

[stargayzingidiot]

Y’all, the lil au I’m writing right now is so brilliant! I don’t know why I thought of it, but I am so excited to post it later!!

[logan-sanders-is-my-binch]

Absolutely, (Sanders Alt of Melodee)

Like- Roman Fuming to his older brother who works under the Theatre teacher for work experience in his resume,

And Dee just lamenting his melodramatic Ballads to Virgil, to which they both jam out to mcr to stop talking about boys (like idk Virgil was flustered about a cutie in his cooking class)

Logan threatening the two "if any shenanigans ensue I'll be sure to alert Remy- er- Mr Narc," roman thinking in his head 'just cause you and my brother work under him and can call him his Name doesnt mean you can boss me around >:^,'

Bro what if Roceit but its Highschool enemies to lovers "oh its probably Dee is Alt and Ro is a pre-" NO THEY'RE BOTH JUST REALLY SNARKY THEATRE KIDS @EACHOTHER, sksksk just like- "oh, i'm sure you'll get *a* role, we could always do with another ensemble member " and Roman Retorting back a "of course, and- surely you're going to get your dream role of Hamilton?" "What?" "He never shuts up,"

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOU AND LOVE THIS IDEA WITH MY ENTIRE BEING dhejeiiwkkwo them getting the lead roles, who are romantically invested with each other wink wink nudge nudge. At first they’re both mortified and frustrated and Roman could do nothing more than complain, Deceit just fuming in the corner. But eventually they hang out, fall in love, kiss, all the good gay stuff.

[hi-its-tutty]

“I Guess I’d Be A Hero...”

paring: hints? of prinxiety? there’s platonic moxiety!

wc: 1615

tw: mentions of death, weaponry, violence (it’s a shrek the musical au i mean what do you expect-)

summary: Patton asks Virgil if he ever dreamed of what he could be, instead of who he is, and Virgil, well, Virgil gives the most honest answer he can. (Shrek the Musical au!)

All of his life, Virgil had to stop himself from dreaming. 

Well, that wasn’t exactly completely true. From the moment he turned seven and was told by his parents that he’d be completely ostracized from society and never be seen as nothing more than a threat, he had to stop himself from dreaming. He still remembered the words they told him.

“It’s a big bright beautiful world out there,” his mom told him, cupping his cheek and wiping away his tears (he had just been told that they were sending him away. Could you blame him for crying?). “A magical land full of sunshine and happiness, and every dream comes true! But not for you!”

Needless to say, Virgil didn’t exactly have the best outlook on life. 

How could he? Every time anyone saw him, they screamed and turned the other direction. He didn’t have to roar half the time to get those widened eyes and that terrified look (but the roar definitely helped to get them running away). He always heard the same exact thing every single time. “O-o-ogre!” they whimpered before Virgil took a single step towards them and they started screaming (and Jesus Christ people had shrill screams). 

He never considered not being on ogre. It was too painful to pretend that he could be anything but completely terrifying. That he would ever amount to anything other than a figure of fear. That he would ever be seen as anything other than green and scary. (And seriously, why green? It was probably the ugliest color on the planet. Why couldn’t he be colored a better color, like purple? If he had to stick out from society, at least make it slightly less disgusting. Though, with his life, it made sense that he was doomed to be the worst color in existence.)

“No, Patton. I cannot, and never will be able to be anything other than an ogre,” he said when Patton, a talking donkey who he was forced to travel with to rescue a princess-that-turned-out-to-be-a-prince (long story) asked him if he ever thought about being anything other than an ogre. 

“Come on, Virgil! You’ve never thought of it?” Patton asked. 

Once. He’s thought of it once. It was the day he was kicked out of his cushy life with semi-loving parents. He spent hours walking in silence in a random direction, thinking about ways his life could’ve gone different if he was literally any other person. Then, as soon as he started smiling to himself at the thought of being in a cozy home, with a fireplace and his mom and dad being there to smile and kiss him goodnight, he saw a person who screamed “Ogre! Big, fat, ugly ogre!” and ran away.

Virgil hasn’t thought of it since. 

“No. Never,” he said, semi-lying but who cares? He wasn’t exactly a beacon of honesty. 

“Well, why don’t you think of it now? Come on, just answer the question! If you could be anyone but an ogre, what would you be?” Patton insisted, with that smile of his that Virgil (begrudgingly, and he’d never, ever admit it) had barely begun to slightly enjoy. 

“I’d be an ogre, but living in my swamp, away from anyone and everyone,” Virgil deadpanned, just staring off into the stars. 

“Just play along! Okay, if a guy held a sword at you, like held you at sword point and said, ‘Look here! You can’t be an ogre anymore! Pick something else!’ what would you say?” Patton asked, sitting too close to Virgil for his liking.

“Okay, first of all, bold of you to assume I wouldn’t let him stab me, and second of all, I would just pick him up and hurl him into a tree, how’s that for an answer?” Virgil said, decidedly not looking at Patton (he swore, if he heard a single sniffle come from that guy). 

Silence. 

No sniffle. 

“What do you have against the world, Virgil?” Patton asked quietly. 

“I don’t have anything against the world, Patton. It’s the world that has something against me. Look at me, look at Roman! You saw how he reacted when he saw me! People take one look at me and they run for their lives. They judge me before they even know me,” Virgil said, not looking at Patton. He wasn’t sure if he could right now. “That’s why I’m better off alone.”

“You know, Virgil, when we met, I didn’t go running for my life,” Patton said, making Virgil actually turn to look at him. 

There was Patton, hairy face and all. Those weird circles of black fur around his eyes that made him look like he had glasses. Just sitting down weirdly, like a dog. Concerned. Caring. It almost made Virgil sick. 

But it didn’t. Unless a little lifting of his heart counted as being sick. 

“Yeah, I know,” Virgil said quietly, offering the tiniest tilt upwards of the corner of his mouth. 

“So there’s really no one else you’d rather be?” Patton asked softly. 

Virgil turned back to look at the stars, as if they had an answer, and he thought and he thought and he thought. He couldn’t bear to think that he could be anything other than what he was. He accepted long ago that he was forced to be in this body, in this life. Thinking otherwise hurt too much. 

Virgil scoffed. This whole thing was stupid, anyway. What was the point of hoping that he could be anything different than what he was? He turned back to Patton, ready to say that he was done with this question, and that they should just go to bed, but then he saw those stupid hopeful eyes and a small smile, and he just couldn’t break his heart. 

“I guess I’d be a hero, with the shining armor and everything,” Virgil said, turning back to the sky. “I’d have a sword and a shield, who knows, maybe I’d look semi-decent too.” 

“Hey, you look perfectly decent right now!” Patton said, making Virgil turn back to him, a deadpan expression on his face. 

“I meant what I said,” Patton said unapologetically, and Virgil laughed before continuing. 

 “Or, you know, I’d be like, a viking or something. Traveling the seas and going on dangerous quests everyday as I fight for glory.” Virgil was starting to smile now, his mind filled with thoughts that he hadn’t let himself think since he was seven. “I’d go on adventures everyday, taste the water and smell the sea.

“Or, you know, I could be a poet. They’re cool. I could spin stories out of nothing, telling tales of daring adventures, and love and happily ever afters. The stars would like, give me inspiration or something, or at least that’s what I’d tell everyone. Really, I’d get all my inspiration from the village, and by watching the little kids play random games.” 

Virgil turned to Patton, who was watching everything with a smile. “I think that’s who I’d be.” 

“Then why don’t you? You could go on adventures, you know. We’re on one right now. You could become a poet and break the stereotypes of ogres,” he said, his voice way too optimistic for what Virgil was saying. 

“And what opportunities would I have to do that, Patton?” Virgil asked, feeling his heart sink. “Look at me. I’m an ogre whether I like it or not. I’m forced to hide away in my swamp, growling at everyone who dares step into the goop.” He gave a bitter laugh. “I’m forced to stay alone. In the dark. With nobody.”

“But if things were different…”

“If things were different, I’d definitely be a hero,” Virgil decided, looking down and nodding to himself. “I’d scale a large tower, and defeat a large dragon with one swipe of my completely polished sword, I’d gain glory for myself, and for the princess I’m supposed to save! Or, you know, prince.” He glanced at the cave Prince Roman was sleeping in. Something about going to sleep before sunset so he could catch his beauty sleep. Whatever. “I’d climb up the tower, and declare that I was his rescuer. We would stand in the tower, and look off into the sky. I’d tell him stories of my dashing adventure. And once sunset hit, we’d have true loves kiss, and I’d have a perfect hero’s ending. A happily ever after.” Virgil smiled, imagining the possibilities of this new world. He swore he could see the stars dance in the sky, telling the story of Virgil, the brave knight. “Wouldn’t that be the life,” he muttered, looking wistful. “It really would be a big, bright, beautiful world.”

Virgil sighed, and turned back to Patton, whose eyes had gone misty, and he was sniffling. “But it’s not. At least, not for me.” 

If things were different…

If he wasn’t a goddamn ogre. 

“You said you were better off being alone,” Patton said quietly.

“I am,” Virgil replied with a shrug, remembering why he didn’t think of this kind of stuff. Reality always came to stab him in the back, reminding him that no, he would not get a happy ending. His happily ever after ended with him being defeated, and the town rejoicing. His ended included pitchforks and torches, not wedding bells and sunsets. 

“But you’re not alone,” Patton said, scooting closer to Virgil. “You have me.”

Virgil huffed a laugh, and put his arm around Patton. “I guess I do.”

And as they both stared off into the stars in the sky, Virgil allowed himself the slightest sliver of hope. 

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to dream. Not if he had someone to dream with him. 

thank you for reading! and if you'd like, check out my ao3! or, if you like what i do, drop me a request in my inbox, or even drop me a ko-fi! thank you again, it means the world to me! hope you have a wonderful day! <3

[lovelylogans]

bluebellflames replied to your post “me: you know what??? it’s been a while since i posted a good old...”

oh my god

as an experiment i’m gonna see how many words i’ve added since i put up that post... what, yesterday, i suppose?

....uh.

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

For @amazon-me-bitches who asked for a follow up to my still untitled Pirate AU fic with Creativitwins and Moxiety

Getting Out Of Hand

Word Count: 3800

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Intrulogical, Moxiety, Creativitwins, future Roceit

Warnings: pirate stuff, swearing, surprise amputations, morbid jokes, past violence, injury, getting drunk, puking

~~~START~~~

“I don’t need a babysitter!” The doors to Janus’s office flew open, banging against the wall.

“Hello, Virgil,” Janus greeted, not taking his eyes off the parchment he was reading. Only when the parchment was ripped from his hands did he turn an unamused eye to his brother.

“I don’t need a babysitter!” Virgil repeated.

“If you’re referring to Emile, he’s your doctor, not your babysitter,” Janus sighed, leaning back in his chair. He had real work to do, but if Virgil wanted to have some sort of tantrum… Well, Janus spent over two months thinking Virgil might be dead, so he would let him do nearly anything he wanted, actually.

“I’m not talking about Emile! I’m talking about Remus! I'm talking about you sending me on a joke of a mission because you don’t trust me!”

Janus rolled his eyes, childish.

“Your whole crew is dead; I think you’ll forgive me for putting together a new temporary crew for you. Remus isn’t on the crew to babysit you, I’ve made him responsible for his brother and his friends — and besides that, he’s a damn good pirate, I don’t see why you wouldn’t want him as a first mate. I’m sending you on a low-risk mission — though not a joke by any means of the words I assure you — both to make sure that you’ve fully healed from being tortured, and to test Roman, Hart, and Barrie’s loyalty and trustworthiness. If they leave you high and dry, I would prefer it to be in a scenario that you can actually return from this time. And as for not trusting you,” Janus leveled him with a look, “we’ve been through too much for you to truly believe that I could possibly trust anyone more than I trust you.”

Virgil opened his mouth to respond before snapping it shut again. He couldn’t deny that Janus made some good points.

“I’m not a babysitter,” he finally settled on, looking like a pouting child more than anything.

Janus almost smiled at that; it was the exact same look Virgil had given him when first left on a merchant ship. It was a look Virgil had given him often in the orphanage when Janus would take the fall for him, or tell him to stay in bed while Janus snuck out to steal food. It was his ‘I’m a big kid too’ look, a look that Janus privately thought betrayed itself

“Remus will be the babysitter, you just need to be the captain,” Janus said somewhat fondly.

“So I’m just Remus’s babysitter then,” Virgil sighed.

Janus shrugged. “Someone has to be.”

Virgil scowled, but he couldn’t argue with that.

~~~

Roman was… uncertain about becoming a pirate. And he knew that Logan and Patton must feel the same way.

Yes, their previous jobs clearly weren’t as above board as they had thought, and yes, their stay in Deception Cove had been much nicer than any of them had expected, but actually doing the pirating themselves? It was a line Roman wasn’t sure he was ready to cross.

Still though, he didn’t really have a choice here. They were set to cast off today, as soon as Captain Anxiety (An-freaking-xiety! Deceit’s known right-hand-man, and apparently the guy who had been held captive in Captain Williams’s cabin for weeks without anyone else on board knowing!) boarded, and it was made very clear to Roman that any act of betrayal would have him seeing Davy Jones’s locker before he could even blink, it didn’t matter if Remus was his brother or not.

(That being said, Remus was playing their judge for this little excursion, so maybe Roman could hope for the barest hint of leniency.)

“CAP’N ON DECK!” Remus’s shout snapped Roman out of his thoughts and he turned to watch his new captain board.

Anxiety cut an infinitely more imposing figure today than he had the last time Roman saw him. He wore the coat Roman had seen Patton carrying when Deceit had raided their ship; purple with golden detailing. Beneath his coat he wore a black tunic, black trousers, and black leather boots; the only color that wasn’t on his coat came from a silver spider-shaped belt buckle with purple gems for eyes. On his head sat a captain’s hat that sported a white Jolly Roger and a single purple feather. Even his sunken cheeks and fading bruises couldn’t detract from his commanding form.

Remus was at Anxiety’s side in an instant, looking attentive and responsible; a strange thing for Roman’s brother, that was for sure.

“We’re ready to depart by your leave, Vee,” Remus reported.

Anxiety nodded “Is Emile on board yet?” He asked, surveying the deck of the ship.

“Emile’s not coming,” Remus said. “Patton is the ship’s medic for this little cruise.”

If Anxiety was surprised, he didn’t show it, instead just nodding like that was to be expected.

“He’s in the medbay then?” At Remus’s nod, Anxiety continued. “Then have the crew shove off, I need to go speak with him.”

“Aye aye! OI! PREPARE TO SHOVE OFF!” Remus barked as their Captain made a beeline for the officers’ cabins.

This was the part that Roman was used to; he knew the rigging and sails of a ship like the back of his hand. He had always enjoyed the sailing part of sailing; it was the pirating part of pirating that he wasn’t quite sold on.

Oh, and the fact that he would be bunking in the main sleeping quarters with the rest of the crew.

The crew of pirates. Where Roman was the lowest on the food chain.

“C’mon Ro, it’s not that bad. You can sleep in my cabin if you want,” Remus offered. He was multitasking, commanding the crew and bothering Roman.

“Isn’t Logan sleeping in your cabin?” Roman asked, wrinkling his nose.

“We’ll be quiet!” Remus replied happily, relishing the way Roman’s face turned green.

“No thank you.”

Remus laughed. “Prude. Don’t worry ‘bout the rest of the crew, they may look mean, but they’re a bunch of softies.”

“Bunch of softies who’ll stab me for accidentally stealing their bunk,” Roman muttered under his breath.

Remus rolled his eyes and left his brother alone in his moping in favor of bothering Logan at the helm.

~~~

Patton wasn’t sure what to make of Captain Anxiety. On the one hand, he was a feared pirate captain with quite the reputation, but on the other hand, all Patton could see when he looked at him was that poor injured man, locked in a cupboard in the Captain’s Quarters of the Harmonia that Captain Deceit had cared about so much.

It didn’t help that Anxiety was currently shirtless in the medbay, with all his scars — old and new — on full display.

“You seem to be healing well,” Patton commented lightly, deciding to speak to the pirate like he would any other patient (he himself was a pirate now, after all). “Is your arm bothering you much?”

Anxiety shrugged a little. “Only when I try to use it too much.”

“Well, if the pain ever becomes unbearable, just let me know. Oh, and Anxiety-”

“Virgil,” Anxiety interrupted.

“What?”

“My, uh- it’s my name. Virgil,” Anx-Virgil said, attempting to hide his face behind his bangs.

Patton smiled. “Well, Virgil, if you ever need anything — medical or not — just let me know.”

“Thanks, Hart,” Virgil said as he pulled his shirt back on.

“You can call me Patton.”

Virgil shot him a small smile in return — a smile that lit up his face and erased any trace of the menacing pirate Patton might have expected.

Oh, Patton thought, his heart doing a little skip at the sight.

Oh.

~~~

Roman didn’t mind the pirate crew as much as he thought he would; yes, they were pirates, but they were possibly the nicest crew Roman had ever sailed with. On a naval or merchant ship, a new crew mate like Roman would have been perfect fodder for any number of hazing tactics, but the pirates had been overwhelmingly kind to him, teaching the correct protocols, making sure he knew everyone’s name…

It was nice. It was fun. And the best part was, no one even batted an eye when Remus kissed Logan right out in the open. It didn’t matter.

Even Captain Anxiety seemed nice (he still scared the shit out of Roman, but Logan and Patton seemed to like him).

Of course, the thing about being a pirate was that eventually they would actually have to pirate, and the day soon approached that they came across a small merchant ship. Before they caught up with the slower ship, Remus handed him a sword and ordered “subdue if you can, kill if you must”, and wasn’t that a terrifying prospect.

(Though of course, on the Harmonia, the order was “kill on sight”, so one would really have to weigh the severity of the order against the likelihood of facing conflict to truly figure out which was worse.)

As they came alongside the merchant ship, Roman grabbed a rope and swung across to the other ship like many of the other pirates were doing. He wasn’t quite sure what to do, but the merchant sailors didn’t put up much of a fight (they were surprised, and completely outnumbered), so he quickly took up the job of tying the sailors up, no fighting required.

The captain of the merchant ship however, didn’t seem to get the memo, as he and Remus were engaged in a sword fight on the main deck. Captain Anxiety and the rest of the pirate crew were just watching the fight with amusement. Roman stepped forward to help his brother, but one of the more senior pirates, Toby, held him back.

“He’s got this,” Toby assured him. “This guy’s got no technique, Remus’ll win, easy.”

He was right, and within seconds, Remus had the captain on his knees, the point of Remus’s sword under his chin.

“There now,” Remus grinned. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

The merchant captain said nothing, simply glaring for all he was worth.

“Don’t worry, Captain,” Anxiety smirked, drawing everyone’s attention. “We’ll be out of your hair soon.”

Anxiety whistled, and several pirates headed down to the cargo hold.

“Stay here and keep an eye on them,” Toby told Roman, nodding at the tied-up sailors, then he left to join the others in the plundering.

“This was rather boring; don’t you think Re?” Anxiety asked conversationally while they waited.

“Aye,” Remus agreed, lowering his sword from the defeated captain. “These bunch a lilies-”

Remus cut himself off with a startled scream. The merchant captain had taken the opening to pull a dagger from his pocket and make a desperate swipe at Remus. Remus stumbled back from the captain, clutching his arm to his chest.

His hand, still clutching his sword hilt, fell to the deck.

Roman didn’t even think, one second, he was guarding the sailors, and next he was standing beside the merchant captain’s dying body, Roman’s sword plunged deep into his chest. The captain stared up at him in shock, but Roman was more focused on his brother.

“Remus?”

“Heh,” Remus chuckled, eyes glazing over. “That’s a new one.”

He stumbled again, and Roman was at his side in an instant to catch him.

“Get him to the medbay!” Anxiety barked, drawing his own sword and inspecting the rival captain carefully.

“Right. Right!” Roman half-carried half-dragged Remus over the gangplank. Everything was going to be fine; Patton would fix Remus right up. No worries.

~~~

Virgil disposed of the merchant captain in the ocean and appointed the first mate as new captain. His crew took most of the valuables on board, leaving the merchant crew with enough provisions to make it to the nearest friendly port.

The atmosphere on the Knightmare’s deck was tense. Injury and dismemberment were commonplace on a pirate ship, but this was supposed to be an easy hit. The fact that it was the first mate in the medbay didn’t help the matter.

Virgil relieved Barrie of his post once they’d pulled away from the other ship, taking over the navigator position himself until the night helmsman could take over. Barrie had thanked him before no doubt rushing off to the medbay to see how Remus was doing.

Of course, Virgil was worried about Remus as well, but as captain, his first responsibility was to keep the ship running. After the night helmsman took over, Virgil made his way to the medbay.

Remus was lying in one of the sickbeds with his brother and Barrie taking vigil on either side, his arm was wrapped in bandages, and he was asleep. Patton, sitting at his desk, was the only one who noticed Virgil’s entrance.

“Captain!” He gasped, shooting to his feet. Roman and Barrie moved to do the same, but Virgil waved them off.

“Don’t mind me, I just wanted a word with Patton.”

“Of course,” Patton nodded, following Virgil out of the cabin.

“How is he?” Virgil asked once the door was closed.

Patton grimaced. “If we can keep the wound from getting infected then he’ll be just fine — he’ll be out one hand, but he’ll be fine. I’ve done everything I can for now.”

“Good,” Virgil nodded, not quite sure what else to say. “Good.”

“How are you doing?” Patton asked. “Logan said you took over the helm, any of your injuries aggravated?”

“I’m fine,” Virgil assured him.

“Still though, can I check?”

It was Virgil’s turn to grimace.

“Not here.” He grabbed Patton’s hand and started pulling him down the hall. “We can go to my cabin.”

So, in the safety of his cabin, Virgil was once again shirtless in front of the cute medic.

“Well, you’re bleeding a little,” Patton said, lightly touching Virgil’s back, just to the left of where the pain was coming from. “I don’t think you need stitches, but do you have any bandages and alcohol in here? I’d like to clean and wrap it.”

“Bandages in the bottom right desk drawer, rum in the cabinet over there,” Virgil jerked his head to point.

Patton nodded and went to fetch the supplies.

“Do you want any of the rum before I pour some on your cut?” Patton asked, holding the bottle out to Virgil. “A little painkiller before we start?”

“Absolutely.” Virgil took the bottle and took one giant swig, it burned like hell, but it felt good after the day Virgil had had. “Ok, do it.”

Somehow the rum burned even worse on his wound than it did in his mouth.

“FUCK!”

“Sorry,” Patton muttered, grabbing the bandages and winding them around Virgil’s torso.

He had soft hands. That was the only thought Virgil’s brain was capable of making, just how soft Patton’s hands were.

“There!” Patton declared at last. “All done.”

“Thanks,” Virgil murmured, taking another swig of the rum. “Want some?”

“Oh I-I shouldn’t,” Patton stuttered.

“I won’t tell anyone,” Virgil teased, still offering the bottle.

“Well… maybe just a little bit.”

A little bit turned into a lot bit, and eventually the two were sitting on the floor, an empty rum bottle between them.

“-and it was just a coincidence that we all even ended up on the same ship!” Patton slurred, leaning heavily against Virgil. “I’m drunk.”

Virgil burst into a giggling fit at that — he was well past tipsy himself.

“You’re cute,” Patton said.

Virgil blushed. Unsure of what to say, he licked his lips. Patton’s eyes followed the motion so he did it again.

He wasn’t sure which one of them moved, but suddenly the soft hands were back, and Virgil’s lips were pressed against Patton’s in a very sloppy, very drunk kiss. Patton’s mouth tasted like the rum they’d been drinking, but there was a hint of something sweet in there, and Virgil was determined to figure out what it was.

Patton pulled away, gasping for breath.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” he panted. “But I think I’m about to puke.”

He lurched suddenly, barely making it to the waste bin before the rum took its revenge.

Lightweight, Virgil thought as his head started getting fuzzy. Sleep started to sound really good to him and, unwilling to move the two feet it would take him to reach the bed, Virgil passed out on the floor.

~~~

Remus drifted through a haze for a while, it was hard for him to tell when he was and wasn’t awake. Sometimes Logan was there, or his mother, or Roman. Patton made frequent appearances, as did Virgil and Janus. Sometimes he was back in his childhood home, sometimes he was on a ship in the middle of a storm, and sometimes he was on a deserted island with only a parrot to keep him company.

Eventually he opened his eyes and he was in a dark room, for the first time in a while, he was certain that he was awake. He was sore, and sweaty, but the bed beneath him was real, and solid.

He wasn’t on a ship anymore, the room was too still to be on water, so he was probably back in Deception Cove.

He let out a small groan, and heard something beside him shift in response. A moment later, a match was struck and the candle at his bedside was lit.

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

Remus smiled, turning to face the other man. “Aww, Janny, I knew you cared.” He croaked weakly.

Janus rolled his eyes, but Remus could see the fond look on his face. He grabbed a cup and helped Remus take a drink of water before responding.

“You’re a very competent pirate,” he said. “I would hate to lose you to something so pedestrian as a merchant captain.”

“You love me,” Remus smirked, satisfied. “So, what’s the damage? It must be bad if we made it all the way back home before I woke up.”

“You’re missing a hand,” Janus told him plainly.

Remus lifted his right arm to examine it, but the hand was still there. He stared at the hand in shock while Janus rolled his eyes again.

“The other one.”

“Oh.” Remus’s left arm was a different story. Instead of having a hand at the end, his arm came to a rounded stump where his wrist was (used to be?) and the whole thing was covered in bandages.

“Are you alright?” Janus asked. Janus was good at masking, but Remus could tell that he felt guilty for being the one to send Remus on the mission in the first place.

“I am going to get the coolest hook hand you have ever seen,” Remus told him, already excited at the prospect. Maybe he could get a whole collection of different tools, like a mace-hand, and a dagger-hand.

Janus chuckled and Remus beamed at the sight.

“Well, I have some important matters to attend to, but I’ll go fetch Emile, I’m sure he’ll want to know that you’re awake.”

“‘K,” Remus yawned. “But let him know that I might just go back to sleep.”

“Of course.” Janus got up and left, leaving the candle still burning behind him.

Remus was still away when Emile came in a minute later, and Emile made him stay up until he’d finished cleaning Remus’s wound and replacing the bandages with fresh ones. He asked Remus all sorts of questions about how he was feeling, and once he was done, he extinguished the candle and allowed Remus to fall asleep once more.

Roman, and Logan were at his bedside when he woke again.

“What? No Patton?” Remus joked, smirking when both his brother and his boyfriend’s attention snapped to him.

“Thank the gods,” Roman murmured under his breath.

“Remus, I’m glad to see you’re finally awake,” Logan said in that weird toneless way he spoke when his emotions were running too high. “I figured you would be, seeing as your fever broke last night.”

“I’m okay, Logie.” Remus grabbed his hand with his only remaining hand and gave it a squeeze. “So,” he turned to Roman. “What did I miss?”

Roman eagerly launched into some of the gossip he’d heard while Remus was unconscious, he wasn’t as knowledgeable of Deception Cove’s grapevines as Virgil was, but Remus had no doubt that, given a little more time, Roman would become one of the most reliable gossip dealers on the island. One of his stories — which consisted almost entirely of his own speculation — was about Patton being suspected of having a mysterious secret boyfriend.

“-and I’ve tried following him, but I always seem to lose him around the horse stables!” Roman complained. At this point, Remus had a suspicion about who the secret boyfriend was, but he was going to keep that information to himself until he had some firsthand observations.

“You’re awake!” Patton’s voice suddenly came from the direction of the door. They all turned to find Patton skipping into the room with Virgil hanging back in the doorway.

Suspicions strengthened.

Patton gave Remus a careful hug, then took a seat next to Roman on Remus’s left.

“Hey, Re,” Virgil said, still standing in the doorway, one hand behind his back. “I brought you a gift.”

“Lizard tongues?” Remus perked up.

“Nope, better.” Virgil brought his hand around and tossed the glass jar he’d been holding at Remus, who pulled his hand out of Logan's and managed to catch it.

“A hand?” Roman gasped, going green.

“Is this my hand!?” Remus cheered. “Aww, Virgie! That’s so nice!”

“Yeah,” Virgil smirked. “I figured you’d want it back.”

“Did you preserve this?” Logan asked, inspecting the jar carefully.

“Yeah, but if you’d rather just have the bones, you can take it out,” Virgil answered.

“This is the worst conversation I have ever been a part of,” whined Roman.

“Wow, Virgil,” Patton grinned. “What a handy gift this is!”

“Correction: now it’s the worst.”

Virgil smirked and sauntered over to take a seat next to Logan. “What’s wrong, Roman? Is this a little too hands on for you?”

Remus and Patton both burst into giggles, while Logan sighed tiredly, and Roman looked like he was fighting the urge to puke.

“That joke deserves a hand!” Patton giggled.

“Well, I can’t take all the credit,” Virgil grinned. “The gift was secondhand.”

“I hate all of you,” Roman groaned, which only increased Remus and Patton’s giggles.

“These puns are getting out of hand,” Logan sighed.

“Good one!” Patton cheered, eliciting a glare from Logan.

Remus sat back in the bed, still giggling. It was nice having his brother, his boyfriend, and his friend back, and it was even nicer that they were getting along with Virgil. Now if only he could find a way to get Roman and Janus together…

~~~END~~~

This is the last of my Thursday 500 Requests, thank you so much to everyone who put in a request or reblogged one of my fics, or even just liked one. I will now be returning to my regularly scheduled bullshit (which is incredibly irregular and unscheduled)

Pirate taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @knight-shives @canvas-the-florist @echo-goes-aaa @everythingisstardust

[nandysparadox]

milkshakes and checkered diners

Pairing: romantic royality; mentioned brotherly moxiety

Word count:  2218

cw: seems like it’s going to be hurt/comfort-y at the start, but it’s just pure fluff; food

Summary: Patton didn't expect his friend to bail on their little catch-up session.

Much less for a cute waiter to turn the evening around.

---

fic for day 1 of @royalityweek ! unfortunately I couldn’t do all days like I planned but i’m proud of this one :>

prompt: bagel/second cookie

thanks to @foggy-lavender-grey for beta-reading!

It had been two hours and Patton’s last, itty bitty piece of hope dwindled by the second.

He twisted the straw wrapping paper around his finger, then ripped it into pieces for no reason other than sheer boredom. Taking a sip of the third cup of water he’d ordered, ice half melted, Patton sighed. Maybe he was being a little bit dramatic — no harm done if they didn’t come, after all.

Still, a part of him really wanted to believe that if he just waited a few more minutes, they’d walk through the diner door, and all his optimism would pay off. Could he blame himself for that? He just wanted a nice afternoon, darn it! People buzzed around the eatery, gathering around the cute teal and pink booths, fiddling with the jukebox, and all-around enjoying the retro diner experience, all the while Patton waited alone at his table like a sad sack, holding three glasses of water, and wanting nothing more than to hide every time a server shot him a pitying look.

Just five more minutes, he told himself, leaning onto his elbows, then I’ll go.

Though just as the thought crossed his mind, his cell phone pinged and Patton reached over to grab it. He went to unlock it but the notification that popped up on the screen was enough to make him lie his head down on the table with a groan.

oh goodness im so sorry something came up

maybe another day?

He wanted to be mad, to find it in him to be unreasonable and maybe text back something snarky — but without his feeble optimism, the two hours of idleness finally set in and Patton just wished he was home.

Just as he built the will to finally leave, a sliver of movement caught his eye and he lifted his head to see it.

A server sauntered toward his table looking like a picture-perfect 50s waiter, his hair — just as red as the apron he wore — styled into beautiful curls beneath a little white cap. His bright green eyes held such unshakeable confidence that Patton began to feel a little worried that maybe he should've ordered something to go with the water.

But instead of chastising him, the waiter plopped himself down at his booth like it was the most natural thing in the world — Patton straightened up, feeling weirdly flustered with his presence.

The man hummed, picking up a glass and swirling what remained of the ice around. “Are you still waiting for your date, dear?” he asked with a sympathetic smile, just shy of blunt.

Patton blinked, just now realizing how the scene looked to an outsider. “Oh, no! No, no,” he chuckled nervously. “I’m not on a date, you see, I’m waiting for a friend! They're finally in town so we had an outing planned and everything!- but uh, they couldn't make it.”

“Oh,” said the man with a put-upon sigh. He rested his chin on one hand with an exaggerated pout. “I was hoping to valiantly save a cute guy from a ruined date, but I guess that won't work.”

“I- Um,” Patton stammered, feeling his cheeks warm - even more as he saw a hint of a smirk in the waiter’s expression. He was hoping to turn the day around at home with a tub of ice cream, but he guessed a nice date would also do the trick! “I mean- I wouldn't mind the company?”

The waiter broke out into a full-blown grin, throwing his hands at the table as he stood up. “Brilliant,” he exclaimed. “Just wait here a moment.”

He strutted to the counter and Patton felt distinctly thrown for a loop. Surprisingly, the first thing that came to mind was that his brother would be fretting non-stop if he knew Patton agreed to a date with a practical stranger. The second thing was that he didn't even catch the man's name, which did lend more credibility to hypothetical Virgil's worry — but unfortunately for his brother, he was nothing short of impulsive and it was becoming very hard to care about that when the stranger in question threw a little wave and a charming smile his way when he noticed Patton looking at him.

Soon enough, the man moved from the counter after talking with the cashier, quickly making his way back to the booth.

“I hope you don't mind I ordered something — I know the menu like the back of my hand, though, so I assure you it’s good,” he said with a wink.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that!” Patton smiled, then faltered — it was a bit late to get going with introductions but going through the whole evening without knowing the guy’s name would be a bit of a disaster scenario so maybe he should get it over with? “Um, I’m- Patton?”

The man blinked. “Oh!” he said. “My name’s Roman, incredibly rude of me to not say it earlier, I apologize.” He extended Patton his hand with an awkward smile.

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it,” Patton said as he shook Roman’s hand. “So…” He settled his hand on the table, drumming up his fingers against it. “Will I get to know what you ordered?”

“In due time, though I won’t spoil the surprise — I hope you have a sweet tooth, though.”

Patton chuckled. “Well, you do work here, so I guess I can trust you.” He paused. “Wait, I’m not taking you away from your shift, am I?”

Roman shook his head. “Oh not at all, my shift has just ended.” He then turned around and waved to the cashier, who gave them a firm nod before going back to ringing up a customer. “See?”

“Huh,” Patton said. “Well, I’m glad! I’d hate to disrupt your work.”

“No need to worry about that, if anything I’d say you made my evening a little brighter, I didn’t have anything planned for after work,” Roman responded with a reassuring smile as he untied his apron and set the white cap on the table. “Speaking of plans, you seemed pretty determined to meet up with your friend today, do they not come around often?”

Patton grimaced. “Not really, they go to college out of state, and when they do visit it’s our hometown, I was excited to meet them.” He sighed. “Plus my course hours have been crazy, I’ll take any chance to rest.”

“I feel you, add work into the mix and I feel like I haven’t rested in days.” groaned Roman. “What do you major in?”

“Biology, third year,” he answered. “I’m in the pre-vet program!”

“Ooh, impressive!” Roman whistled. “Cute and smart, you’re a double-threat.”

Patton giggled, avoiding Roman’s eyes. “You’re a charmer,” he said. “What about you?”

“I go to art school,” Roman shrugged. “Theater program.”

“You do theater?” Patton asked, enthusiastic. Though thinking about it, it wasn’t very surprising — Roman had a sort of captivating presence, like he could charm anyone with his charisma, undoubtedly he’d do well on a stage. He continued. “That’s awesome! Do you wanna be an actor?”

“Indeed, soon enough I’ll be dazzling the crowds on the big stage!” Roman glanced toward his uniform and chuckled. “Maybe not so soon, but I will.”

Patton rested his chin in his hand with a grin. “Well, you already do a darn good job of dazzling the customers, so I’d say you’re halfway there.”

Roman laughed and took a dramatic bow. “I live to please.”

Before Patton could continue the conversation, a server came by their booth — he hadn’t even noticed them heading that way! They began setting their order at the table.

“Oooh, bagels!” Patton said as they slid a plate with four bagels — all with seemingly different flavors — plus jelly cookies towards the middle of the table.

Roman grinned. “Can’t go wrong with that.”

The server chuckled, sliding a milkshake towards Patton. “Have fun with your date, Ro.”

Roman winked in response. “I will, thanks, Becca.”

Patton glanced at the milkshake in front of him — strawberry from the look of it, topped with whipped cream and a cherry, all in a frankly very tall glass.

“That’s a big milkshake, huh,” he tittered. “Not sure if I can, um, drink all of that.”

“No need to fret,” said Roman. He then unwrapped a straw and swiftly slotted it next to Patton’s. “We could always share.”

“You’re really going for that 50s theme, aren’t you?”

“Theming is important!”

Patton laughed, picking up a bagel with cream and blueberry frosting. “It’s cute,” he said, before taking a bite off of it — just the right amount of sweetness with a perfect chewy texture. “Oh my goodness, this is sooo good!”

“Right?” responded Roman. “The bagels here are incredible, I don’t get them anywhere else and it’s not even because of loyalty to the employer or anything.”

Patton leaned in to take a sip of the milkshake next, only to find that Roman had done the same and they were mere inches apart.

He giggled, backing away. “I don’t think you thought the logistics of that very well.”

“I don’t know,” Roman spun the straw around with a smirk. “I think I thought that through just fine.”

Patton didn’t respond, instead opting to take a biscuit as an excuse to look away.

He ended up eating a few of them, and he had to ask Roman what jelly brand they used sometime because wow! He also soon finished his blueberry bagel, which was honestly illegally good all the way through. Picking up another bagel from the plate, he struck up a conversation again.

“So, is the program putting up any new plays soon?”

Roman’s eyes brightened. “Ooh, yes actually! We’re doing The Sound of Music.”

“Ooh, I know that one, raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…” Patton sang.

“Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,” continued Roman, his voice soft and perfectly pitched.

“Aw, your voice is so lovely! You’re a perfect fit for musicals.”

“Ah, thank you!” answered Roman - he averted his eyes, clicking his fingers against the table, and Patton realized he might have actually flustered the other, soon confirmed by the faint blush that tinted Roman’s cheeks.

Patton smiled but didn’t comment on it. “You know, I’d love to watch it, I can tell you’re very talented.” He paused. “Oop, can’t just invite myself to things like that.” Laughing, he rubbed the back of his neck.

“You like musicals, Patton?”

“Sure do!” he chirped. “My favorite is Cats, the performance is so wonderful!”

“I’d say that fits, huh Mr. future vet?”

Patton grinned. “Maybe so.”

“Well, I could never refuse a request from a fan,” said Roman with a smirk. “The play’s in a month, perhaps we could make a day out of it?”

“Deal!” He clapped his hands together. “You could also let me take you out on a date before then, hm?”

“I’ll have to consider that offer, though I warn you, good sir, I have quite high standards.”

Patton snorted. “I’m sure.”

The subject of theater came up again after that, Roman told him about all the preparations they’d done so far, plus the audition process – which sounded way too stressful for Patton, but Roman seemed ecstatic while speaking of it. The exchange ended up heading many ways, their roommates, their programs’ budget, and eventually Roman asked Patton about his aspiration to be a vet. He barely got the chance to stop himself before he went on a delighted rant about it. Roman listened intently, engaging with enthusiastic questions – as if what Patton said was the most interesting thing he’d ever heard – and darn it if that didn’t make him feel giddy. Eventually, the conversation hit its natural lull, and Patton looked to their table, surprised to find it was left with nothing but empty plates — he barely noticed they finished their order while talking. The activity in the diner had died down too, and a glance out the window told him it was rapidly getting dark.

He sighed. “I think I might have to leave already.”

Roman pouted. “So soon?”

“Aw, don’t look so sad,” Patton said, pulling out his cell phone and opening the contact book. He handed it to Roman. “Can I get your number? I’d love to talk with you again.” He smiled.

“And to arrange that date, huh?” Roman took it, typing in his information.

“Wow, you already considered the offer?”

Roman laughed. “Here.”

He handed the phone back and Patton glanced at the contact name.

“Your surname is Prince?”

“Indeed.”

“Aw, that fits!” Patton said as he picked up his things. “Because you’re so charming!”

“Some things are just meant to be.” Roman winked. “Goodbye Patton, see you soon.”

Patton waved as he left the booth, not being able to stop a huge grin from breaking through. “You better!”

He swiftly made his way out of the diner, passing through the brightly colored cyan and pink door — the sky outside was already a good shade of grey, so he’d have to walk faster if he wanted to get home before it was completely dark.

Despite that, he couldn’t find it in him to worry about that at all — not with buzzing excitement under his skin and pretty green eyes in his mind.

What a day, huh?

[look-ma-im-on-tv]

Cry for Help

This is my gift for Sanders Sides Secret Santa Gift Exchange 2021!!! And GUESS WHAT? @lokiamorstuffs ??? IT'S FOR YOU!!! I'm so happy I got assigned my bestie/zucchini for this, and I really hope you like it! Also, @sanderssidesgiftxchange

Description: Hurt/Comfort Witch AU where Remus uses his hallucination magic to mess with the other sides. But lately, it's been worse, with his 'pranks' becoming harsher and more frequent. Everyone's frustrated at first, but his brother Roman figures out what's going on and calls on a special someone to help.

Ships: Intrulogical, a bit of heavily hinted Moxiety on the side but can be interpreted as really good friends or a QPR.

Warnings: Cursing, suggestive wording but nothing too explicit, maybe derealization a bit, fake gore description, fire, fainting, if I forgot any let me know!

Word Count: 3,524

AO3 Link

“Remus, would you please refrain from animating my breakfast? I have no doubt that it’s you, and it is not particularly amusing,” Logan said after his eggs and bacon had seemingly come to life, gained faces, and started screaming obscenities at him. It was very much Remus’ style, which explained why he was to the side of Logan, fallen backward over the side of the couch cackling.

Remus very frequently played pranks, putting his hallucination-style magic to good use apparently. It was pretty frequent, at least once a week, that he would have one of the other five members of the household envision an octopus on the dinner table, or, as in this case, inanimate objects coming to life and cursing at people.

It was a very full house, with witches Remus, his brother Roman, Logan, Patton, Virgil, and Janus all under the same roof. Of course, both of the twins shared ‘hallucination magic,’ which was a fairly common magic type to be given. However, Roman used their magic less for pranks, and more for putting on movies and shows they had written. Logan had potions magic, which he enjoyed thoroughly, especially since it wasn’t much magic as it was science.

Patton and Virgil had been gifted complete opposite magics, almost as an insult from the council it would seem. Patton had light magic, which meant he could instantly summon magical light anywhere, anytime. Virgil, however, had darkness magic which, if you could guess, meant he could put out any light, though only in a certain radius. That was a trick to prevent Darkness Witches from blocking out the whole entire sun.

Janus had telepathic abilities, which she was quite the master of. They could read nearly anyone’s, or anything’s, mind if given enough time. Logan despised this; he really preferred to keep his thoughts to himself.

They’d all been living together for a while now, Logan would guess that it was about 5 years ago that late-comers Remus and Roman moved in, and they had very much fallen into routine. So Remus’ pranks hardly bothered Logan anymore, and he’d even get a little smile out of it when Remus would give a huge, goofy, knowing grin before he put one of his plans into work.

Remus would always start bouncing in place or tapping his foot with anticipation before scrunching up his nose with the effort and subsequently falling back with a crazy smile and huge booming laughter when his ‘victims’ shouted with surprise. Every single time this happened; Logan had noticed the pattern a while ago. It was… charming.

“Yo, you there, Professor Sexy?” said a voice, only about an inch from Logan’s face, catching him off guard and nearly making him topple off of his stool. It was Remus.

Logan felt his face flush with embarrassment. “What?” He felt a bit like a fool.

“Didn’t mean for that little joke to throw you so off guard.” Remus shrugged. “Whatever,” he ended, walking away and back upstairs to his room.

Logan shook his head, grateful that no one else saw him, and got up himself. His food didn’t exactly look appealing after it had just had eyes and a mouth, so Logan scraped it into the garbage before putting on his jacket, grabbing his suitcase by the door, and leaving for work.

Virgil rolled his eyes, “You’re gonna have to try harder than that!” he shouted through the door. “Spiders don’t scare me, asshole!” He was very aware that the spiders crawling all over his chair and body weren’t actually there, though it helped that he could only see them, not feel them. But he still darkened the room so that he wouldn’t have to see them.

The little eight-legged creatures popped out of existence with a puff of smoke, and Virgil chuckled. Remus always forgot that he’d (mostly) grown out of his fear of spiders at about nine years old.

Virgil’s phone dinged! and he checked for the notification. [Patton’s Birthday Tomorrow!] a light blue notification showed. “What?” he questioned aloud. It shouldn’t be! He thought he had like, a month left. But he did pretty frequently forget and procrastinate. “Oh no… Shit!”

Virgil jumped out of his chair and ripped the door handle open to find Remus waiting. Perfect. “Hey!” he whispered, “I need your help! I forgot about Patton’s birthday tomorrow, and I don’t have a…” Virgil furrowed his brow, seeing a dorky grin on Remus’ face. The realization dawned on him. “You asshole! What is wrong with you!” A dark cloud surrounded them.

Remus laughed, “You should’ve seen your face! You were so worried!” Virgil just frowned. “Hey, didn’t mean to spook you that bad. You really love that guy, huh? It was just supposed to be funny. How ‘bout we hang out as an apology from my end?” Virgil turned back into his room and slammed the door in Remus’ face. He huffed. That didn’t work.

Patton then heard a knock on his door. “Who’s there?”

Without permission, the door burst open, and Remus came running through it. Patton screamed. His head was halfway disconnected at the neck, blood running everywhere and tendons trying desperately to hold it in place. “Hey dad-friend, got a little a-head of myself and I think it’s a bit of a proble-”

Patton was horrified, he fell backward to the ground, tears covering his face, sobbing. Remus instantly reversed the hallucination.

“Oh, fuck, I’m sorry!” Remus ran up next to Patton, resting his hand on his arm and offering comforting words. He concentrated to bring up the image of an enormous stuffed bear, right next to Patton, and he managed to make it feel real too. “That was way too far, I didn’t think it’d freak you out that bad.”

Patton brought a bit more glow to the room, as if he was fending off the dark imagery in his head. “You’re… you’re okay? You’re not hurt?”

“No! It was just one of my tricks. See?” Remus tilted his head to the side and rubbed his neck. “All connected.”

Patton’s tears subsided and he furrowed his brows at Remus. “That was a very mean thing you just did. That really scared me, and I don’t appreciate that.”

“I know, I know. I won’t do that again, okay daddy dearest?”

“Thanks for the bear. But I’m gonna continue my knitting. Alone.”

Remus stepped back and blinked. “Uhm, yeah. Yeah, okay.” He stepped outside and the door closed behind him. It felt like he had been stabbed in the chest with an axe. He wished Logan was still here. He was easier to be around.

Dejectedly, he tapped on Janus’ door, ready to smile and throw a handful of snakes in his face. But there was no answer. Duh, Janus worked the night shift. He hadn’t even come home yet. So Remus ran downstairs and started plotting how to get Roman when suddenly, he had an idea.

Everyone upstairs perked up their heads when they heard an ear-piercing scream echoing from downstairs. Roman jumped so high, they nearly hit their head on the ceiling. They thought they could smell smoke and ran out of their room. Sure enough, they saw dark grey plumes billowing up from the kitchen through the stairwell. Roman ran down the long hallway, knocking loudly on all of the doors and shouting, “Fire! Everyone, there’s a fire! Get out!” Once they got to the end, they turned around and counted heads. Logan left for work, Janus wasn’t back yet. Patton, Virgil, and themself were there. Remus.

“Get outside! I have to find Remus!”

“I think he’s downstairs!” Patton shouted. Roman ran downstairs, taking them two at a time and jumping past the last four or five.

“Remus! Where are you?”

“Over here!” He was stuck in a corner, his dark eyes lit up by the fire and frozen in fear.

“You have to get over here, we have to leave!”

Remus felt his eyes weighing down, closing despite his efforts. The sheer exhaustion was hitting him. “I… I can’t.” His limbs went numb and he slipped out of consciousness as he fell to the floor.

The smoke, the noise, the fire, the heat, it all disappeared. Roman looked around, confused. Everyone entered the main room, closing the front door with Janus now joining them.

Roman’s face scrunched up in anger. “Goddamnit! Another joke?” They crouched down next to their brother. “Get up you asshole! You think that’s funny?”

Patton leaned down next to them. “I think he’s really asleep…”

“So? He needs to wake up and learn that he can’t just do that shit!”

Virgil groaned. “So he’s really on one today?”

“What do you mean?”

“He was bugging me earlier. Made me think that it was Patton’s birthday tomorrow and I hadn’t gotten him a present. Scared the shit out of me.”

Patton rubbed his face. “Yeah, he paid me a little visit too. Looked like he had a… serious injury. I also heard Logan getting after him for something too earlier. He’s been much worse than usual.”

“From the sound of that, I might actually be lucky that I had overtime at work,” Janus chimed in.

Roman sighed, rubbing their temples. “He always forgets that he can really just ask.”

“Ask what?”

Roman stood. “For help. And attention. He gets this way when he feels sad and lonely. It’s a very…” they rolled their eyes, “unique way of expressing it. Usually I notice sooner, he’s never pretended to set the house on fire.”

“He’s been lonely?” Janus asked, setting down her things by the door. “I thought I would have noticed that.” They shook their head. “He’s just being his usual ‘funny’ self. It’s not like I don’t check what in the world is going on inside that mad head of his when he decides to act like this.”

“I don’t know about that.” Roman shook their head. “I’ve just… seen this pattern before. It couldn’t hurt to try and help, could it?” Everyone shrugged.

“A movie day tends to help.” They looked at Remus. “Uhm… do any of you think Logan might be able to get today off? I could go pick him up so he doesn’t have to wait for a bus.”

“Why Logan?” Virgil asked.

Roman laughed a little. “Remus messes with Logan the most, but only in tiny little, not-very-scary ways.” They paused. “Look, if I know my brother, and I do, believe me, Logan will be able to help a lot.”

“I’ll text him!” Patton offered. Roman suggested that everyone should set up some movies and blankets while they were gone, and once they got an ‘affirmative’ answer from Logan, Roman got into their truck to go pick him up.

“So, am I finally going to get any sort of definitive answer as to what is going on, or are you going to leave me in the dark as well?”

“Patton didn’t tell you?”

“Not at all. He was very vague as to the situation, just insisted that it was ‘important’ that I come back home.”

Roman sighed. “Remus is… well he’s not doing great right now. And I’m sorry if he pulled any especially rude tricks on you this morning.”

“What? Is he okay? What’s wrong?” Logan felt his heart rate shoot up.

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. He’s just sad and needs some attention right now.”

“Just sad? Are you sure he’s okay? He seemed fine this morning, nothing out of the usual.”

“He made Patton think that he had been decapitated, and made all of us at once see the house burning down before he passed out from the effort. He tends to do some pretty harsh things when he’s feeling lonely. He’ll be fine, but we need your help to give him some comfort is all.”

“Lonely…? If I-” Logan coughed. “Wait, why do you need me? There are plenty of people at the house right now, aren’t there?” While Logan would lo-be very willing to comfort Remus in his time of need, he figured he’d just be sitting there awkwardly and taking up space.

“You don’t realize either?” Roman laughed. “Dude, he is absolutely in love with you.”

Logan’s breath caught in his chest. “What?” He tried to laugh, blow it off like he didn’t care, but it wasn’t very effective and came off more as panicked breathing. “Really?”

“Uh, yeah. Have you seen the way he looks at you?” Roman looked over at him and their eyes widened. “Oh, god, I hope you’re not mad. You don’t have to or anything, I can take you back to work if you want-”

“No!” Logan couldn’t believe his ears. Remus… loved him? Was it another trick? “I… I want to help.”

Remus, the fun-loving, crazy, impulsive, hot-as-hell Remus loved Logan? What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t possibly… could he? I mean, sure he had fantasized about combing his wild hair with his fingers as they watched a horror movie, or being hoisted up onto Remus’ wide shoulders and carried around as a distraction from his work, or of strong, gentle kisses in bed, but it wasn’t like that! He couldn’t be with Remus, he didn’t love him!

Unless… oh. Logan realized.

Oh.

He really did love Remus. Every bit of him. His sparkling deep brown eyes, the dark freckles that, if you looked closely, covered every part of him with no pattern, the way he laughed.

Logan groaned and buried his head in his knees, scaring Roman. “You okay? What’s going on?”

“I… I think I feel the same way about Remus.” He lifted his head. “Are you sure he feels that way about me? Romantically?”

Roman gave a small smile. “Absolutely.”

They pulled into the driveway and Logan rushed out of the car, his every thought consumed by Remus right now. I have to help him.

He ran inside and to the couch, Roman following. “Is he okay?”

Virgil laughed. “Yeah, he’s still asleep. You sure look worried.”

Logan felt his cheeks tint red. “Yes… can I sit next to him?”

Virgil stood up, gesturing to the now-empty spot on the couch. “Go ahead. But beware: he drools.”

Logan sat down, there was so little room between the arm of the couch and Remus’ head that he ended up with his head on his lap. Logan oh-so-wanted to run his fingers through his dark curly hair, but instead, he had his arms awkwardly stuck out to the sides to avoid touching him too much.

“He’s not sick and contagious you know,” Virgil mocked.

Logan rested his arms slightly. “When’s he gonna wake up?”

Patton shrugged. “Dunno. He was using his magic on all of us at the same time. And it was pretty realistic too. He’s pretty tired out after all that.”

Logan looked down. He’d hardly ever seen Remus so… calm.

“We’ve planned out some movies while you were gone, so I suggest you get into some comfier clothes,” Janus said, referring to the suit that Logan had on, “and then you can settle down.”

Logan frowned slightly at the idea of leaving Remus still asleep and un-comforted. However, he did have to admit that a change of clothes would make this a lot more comfortable. So he slid his way out from under his head and quickly walked up to his room to change.

He came back down in a (hopefully attractive) tank top and sweatpants and reclaimed his spot just as they started a movie. Logan wasn’t really paying attention though. He just had too much to think about.

A couple of movies later, Logan glanced down to see Remus’ dark eyelashes flutter as he blinked. How long had he been awake? “Remus!” he said in a whisper. He spoke up. “Are you quite alright?”

“Yeah, just tired, Dr. Hottie,” he said, causing Logan to turn bright red. Roman paused the movie and everyone turned to check on Remus.

Logan spoke softly, “Yeah? I heard. You really pushed yourself there, I am not at all surprised that you fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.” He paused. “There’s a… rumour going around that you might be a little lonely.”

Remus laughed. “Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about that?”

“Well, we’re here to comfort you.”

“We-” Remus sat up and looked around. “Wow, you really brought the whole party, huh?”

“More like the whole party brought me, but yes. We’re all here for you.”

Remus looked like he was about to say something, but all that came out was a lightly broken sigh.

Roman gave him a gentle smile, “It’s okay. We’ve got you now. You don’t have to pretend to set the whole house on fire to get us here.”

“I… Oh, I did do that. Sorry, I guess.” Remus remembered the look of fear in his brother’s eyes before he passed out. “That was too much. I shouldn’ta done that. Doesn’t matter what I’m trying to do.” He felt the pressure of the blanket on his legs and the warmth of everyone around him, of Logan at his back. He touched his finger to his cheek to find a tear. His eyes stung. “Shit, sorry I didn’t mean to-”

Virgil cut him off. “You can cry. That’s fine. None of us are gonna judge you here.”

“It’s healthy to let it out,” Logan said behind him. “Trust me.”

“I don’t…” Remus muttered. “I’m gonna just lay back down.” With reluctant tears falling from his eyes, he rested his head down on what he now fully recognized as Logan’s lap, and smiled a little before quickly falling back asleep.

As time went on, people started leaving the couch. Janus went to bed, Virgil went to his room thoroughly over-socialized, Patton went to his tutoring job, and Roman returned to his room ‘because.’

Leaving just Logan on the couch with a sleeping Remus on his lap. He let out a deep sigh. His muscles were getting tired, and he really couldn’t find it practical to keep his arms hovering a ways away from Remus. He settled into it, resting one arm over Remus’ shoulder and the other resting on the arm of the couch.

Logan was watching the movie with vaguely more focus than before when he noticed his fingers running through Remus’ soft hair. He smiled down at him lovingly, pretending that this was something that happened all the time to prevent his heart from beating right out of his chest.

Remus groaned and turned over onto his back, startling Logan into pulling his hand away. “Nonono,” he mumbled. “That was so nice and cozy, please don’t stop." He was hardly awake at all, so Logan weighed his odds of embarrassment and continued.

Remus had a soft little smile on his face, barely showing the edges of his slightly crooked teeth. Logan promised himself that he wasn’t staring at Remus’ lips right now.

“Mmn,” Remus hummed warmly. “Can…” he laughed sleepily. “I can’t believe I’m asking this right now, but it’s just- damn you’re really so pretty, Logan.” He rubbed his face a little to try and wake himself up more. “Can-can I have a kiss?”

Logan froze up like a broken computer. He could hardly breathe let alone give an answer. After what felt like an eternity, Logan managed out a whispered, “Yes.”

Remus smiled, wrapping his arms around Logan’s neck and pulling himself closer, pressing their lips together. Logan felt like he was going to faint, or maybe wake up. He couldn’t tell.

Logan also felt a tear that wasn’t his own and pulled away gently. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s a good tear. I’m happy to have everyone, especially you. It means love. And also that you’re super fucking sexy and kissing you is totally a dream come true.”

Logan felt like such a warm, safe space. He settled Remus’ mind when it was running at a hundred miles per hour but without shutting him down. He loved seeing the little smirk on his face whenever he would notice one of Remus’ illusions. And now he could finally admit it to him.

The two cuddled on the couch for at least another three hours before Patton got home and Roman left his room to check up on them. Roman conjured an image to the two of them of what looked like themselves being tv-style sappy and Logan buried his face in his hands. Remus just laughed and playfully punched his brother’s arm.

When the two got up so Patton could check Remus’ temperature and give him food and water, he gently reached for Logan’s hand and held him close. After Patton determined that Remus was safe, they all sat back down on the couch to continue watching some tv. Remus held his arms open, inviting Logan to curl up and cuddle, which he happily accepted, trying to ignore Patton’s “Awwww!” and Virgil handing Janus $20 behind the couch as if they couldn’t see. It was a nice calm moment to begin their crazy-in-love (emphasis on the crazy) relationship. And Remus didn’t have to set the kitchen on fire ever again.

[notaversetohedonism]

How They All Found Out : A moxiety oneshot

Word count : 1273

A/N : I really hope you guys like this one! I loved the concept and I really hope I bring it justice in this oneshot! My original prompt was "Patton rising up wearing Virgil's hoodie" so I hope the title is just a little more creative than that haha

Patton felt that familiar tug on his chest, and as he always did, he followed without a second thought. He was.. impulsive, and had slight issues with not thinking before acting : hence the reason he had once shown up in Thomas' living room while not wearing pants. THAT had been a fun conversation later.

He looked to his left, to Roman. It was clear that he had been the one to summon Patton, so he could only assume he was to first look to Creativity. Why was it clear? Well, Logan was not known for summoning the others gently, and while Virgil was far better at it, he had just been in Patton's room with him and... oh no. Patton looked down to confirm what he already knew and yep. That was in fact Virgil's hoodie he was wearing. It was at this point that he realised the whole room was silent. So silent that one could hear a pin drop. As Patton focused on Roman, he saw that his jaw was dropped. Nervously, he looked to Logan, whose eyebrows were raised and his eyes looked a little wide. Thomas was smirking. Patton's gaze went back to Roman just long enough to see him make a pulling gesture with his arm. And then there were 5.

"Um, rude-" were the only words Virgil was able to get out before he saw the look on Patton's face. The furious blushing, the tentative smile. And if Patton had looked adorable in his hoodie before, it was nothing compared to now. Roman, always one to butt in on a cute moment, opened his mouth,

"I- seriously?" He was grinning so widely it looked as though his face might spilt in two. Patton's face was on fire, as was Virgil's, if for very different reasons. Hurriedly, Patton pulled the hoodie off and chucked it in Virgil's direction. It was at this moment that Virgil realised... he fucked up. Pulling the hoodie on and over his head, he groaned to himself. Rather loudly. As if there was no-one else in the room, Patton spoke quietly, in the fondest tone imaginable.

"Sorry, Virge, I forgot I still had it on." Virgil, still blushing a shade so red it practically surpassed puce, could only think to reply with the first thing that came into his head.

"It's fine. It- it looks nice on you." It was Logan's turn to smile now. A small smirk gracing his lips. They were so... fond. He really was happy for them : even though they had not confirmed to him the nature of their relationship, he was no fool. It was the kind of moment one would expect to last a long time. However, Thomas and Roman both appeared to have other plans in mind. They spoke in a jumble at first, but Roman, as usual for conversations of this nature, won out,

"Ok Ok Ok, let me get this straight. Ha, I doubt I can!" Thomas snorted into his hand, still staring at the two blushing men delightedly, "So you," he pointed to Patton, "and you" to Virgil, "clearly have something going on here!" Roman was triumphant in his tone, still grinning widely. Patton turned to Virgil, asking with his eyes the questions his mouth didn't allow him to. Is this ok? Can we tell them about this? I know it's personal for you, are you ready? Without a word, Virgil slipped off his spot on the stairs and made his way over to Patton, bypassing Roman entirely, causing the taller side to look only mildly offended for a change. He slid his hand into Patton's and instantly felt the oh so familiar tangle of Patton's warm fingers within his own. His breathing was a little faster than usual, and he had acted rather on impulse, but he hoped that the look on his face was relatively level. He didn't dare look at Patton : he could feel his grin in the air and he knew that if he looked he'd do something positively stupid like grin back or even kiss him.

Instead, he opted to turn to the romantic side. And oh, what a sight the romantic side was in that moment. The look on his face was priceless, and Virgil silently took a mental photograph that he could laugh at later. His eyes were as wide as the grin on his face. He held one hand over his heart, and the other was laid dramatically over his forehead.

"Finally! Finally you two are dating! Wait, that is what this is, isn't it?" He was 98% positive it was, but he had learnt not to assume. After all, it really did make an "as out of su and me". But for once, his assumption was validated as both Patton and Virgil nodded their heads. "I have endured the pining for MONTHS! I'm fairly convinced you two didn't even realise it, but you have been head over heels for as long as I can remember!" Patton stifled a little giggle at this.

"Actually Ro, the pining wasn't all that bad. We've been dating for a month." Roman swooned, and Thomas decided to take this rare break from Roman's incessant chatter to give his own two cents.

"You know, this is simultaneously a complete surprise and very expected." Virgil was a little nervous to hear what Thomas was about to say, but he instead convinced himself to focus on Patton's thumb that was tracing absent minded circles on his own. "I mean, I obviously noticed the pining," Patton was blushing furiously at this point. "but I really didn't think you guys would get the courage to act on it yet! Congrats guys, you make a cute couple."

"Thanks, Thomas." said Patton quietly, and in that moment Virgil could see just how important it was to his boyfriend that everyone was ok with this relationship.

It was at this point that Virgil and Patton noticed that while Roman and Thomas wore identical grins, Logan had not said a word. Virgil's nerves were written all over his face, and while Patton still wore his grin it faltered just a little, and his grip on Virgil's hand tightened.

"L-lo? I know this is a big adjustment to ask you to make, but we're really happy and we hope you can be happy for us." Logan looked up at Virgil in surprise. Shit. Realising very suddenly that his silence could be interpreted as a lack of support, his words spilled out in a way that was most unordinary.

"O-of course I'm happy for you! I apologise that my silence was interpreted as a lack of, I was simply lost in thought." regaining some composure, Logan continued on to say, "I was merely happy that you two had finally chosen to act on your feelings, you haven't been as subtle with them as I am inclined to believe you thought you were." He stifled a smirk as Patton and Virgil's previously toned down blushing appeared once more with a fiery passion. Patton buried his head in Virgil's hoodie with a small smile that could not be more genuine.

"Thanks L." And suddenly, the smile on Logan's face shifted in a direction none of them were completely used to. It was sincere, with not a hint of a knowing smirk. Roman was still grinning, and Thomas looked genuinely pleased for them. Even Virgil, anxiety himself, had the biggest smile any side other than Patton had ever seen on him.

Virgil was right. This would be a big adjustment. But it was nothing they couldn't handle. And they were ready for it all.

[torisfeather]

Flufftober Day 7 - Meddling friends

A @flufftober2021 prompt.

Sanders Sides ecovillage AU but this time I guess it happens before the actual AU, when the polycule isn’t together yet. Or maybe it’s just a human AU.

Moxiety with hinted DRLAMP.

Mention of cheating.

I was actually inspired by something that actually happened to me and my partner for this one.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Patton, I have to tell you something,” Linda said that evening, as she and Patton cleaned the daycare they worked at.

“What is it, Linda?” Patton responded as he swept the floor.

They were high school friends and now coworkers, although they weren’t particularly close. Linda was, and had always been, one of those model Christian girls, perfectly fit for society’s expectations, while Patton was, for lack of a more fitting expression, her “gay best friend”. Not that they considered themselves each other’s best friend.

“I… uh, well I’ve seen…” Linda seemed so awkward about whatever she was supposed to tell him that Patton turned to her, worried. “Ugh, it’s really not easy to say.”

“It’s okay, Linda, take your time,” Patton said, understanding.

“Well, you know, that guy you’re dating, Virgil,” she said.

“Yes?”

“Well, I think he’s cheating on you.”

“Cheating on me? What makes you say that?” Patton asked, actually more curious than anything else. He trusted Virgil deeply, and sincerely believed there was no way for him to be cheating, especially since they were both polyamorous and completely open to each other about their crushes. If anything, perhaps he had finally confessed to one of the Prince brothers, or to Logan and Janus from the library.

“Well, the other day, I saw him at the park,” Linda confessed. “And he was kissing someone else.”

“At the park?” Patton went, searching his memory for a moment when Virgil had gone out without him. Virgil was such a stay-at-home person. Wouldn’t he remember such a thing? “Who was it?”

“I don’t know her.”

“Her?” Patton almost laughed.

“Yes, she was wearing a skirt, a blue shirt, she had very short hair… Do you know her? Why are you laughing?”

“When was it?” Patton asked, hardly repressing his laughter.

“Last Saturday, why?”

This time, Patton laughed out loud. “That was me!”

“What?”

“I wanted to try wearing a skirt for a change, and I took Virgil to the park. That was me you saw with him!”

Patton laughed and Linda giggled with relief. “Oh dear, I’ve been thinking about it since then!”

“I’m glad that’s cleared up. Though I was hoping Virgil had finally confessed to one of our crushes.”

“Wait, what?”

[iceshard1011]

Before the world fell at our feet

Ships: platonic Moxiety, pre-romantic Anxceit (but really it's up to interpretation)

Characters: Virgil, Patton, Janus, Logan is there briefly

Also on Ao3!

Fic below the cut.

Some convoluted exchange of 'Ding Dong Ditch' except they talk about their feelings and try to resolve inner turmoil and maybe reach some sort of reconciliation. Not too hastily, though. They still hate each other, of course. Of course.

The silence of the hallway shattered with a flurry of tentative knocks against dark-painted wood.

“You haven’t been answering your phone, kiddo,” called a soft, almost shy voice. “I was wondering if you were doing okay, since... you know, things have been... tough, lately.” The room inside stayed quiet, no matter how carefully he listened. “I was hoping... you could come out for some food? We could bake together, if you’d like. It’s...” He laughed. It was mirthless and sad. “It’s sure been a while since we got to do that, yeah?”

Silence. Not even rustling sheets or a frustrated sigh.

He leaned back, trying not to look too obviously hurt — as if Virgil could see through his door. The wood was slightly chipped. He wondered when that had happened. Recently? Or had it been there for longer than he wanted to know?

He rubbed the back of his neck, pondering. What could he do? Virgil clearly didn’t want to talk to him... and he couldn’t be blamed, really.

“I just... thought it might make you feel a little better,” he tried. Virgil might not even be in there — there was no proof he was even listening. It was stupid to be doing this.

“I’ve seen you’ve been hanging out with Roman a lot more recently,” he went on. “That’s…” Unexpected. “Good. It’s so good, kiddo. You both did so well talking to Nico. I know Roman appreciates what you did.”

He trailed a finger down a small jagged crack in the purple paint.

“I wish I could have seen it in person,” he murmured truthfully. Wish I could have been the one who caused it. Wish I could have been the one you risked everything for.

But no — that was bad. Bad and selfish, and he couldn’t be like that. Thomas was trying to fix that about him, but people didn’t change easily, especially after years of a practiced notion. Life just didn't work like that.

“I only heard about the way your eyeshadow changed colour from the others,” he continued softly. “I bet you were just the prettiest thing in the world.”

He half expected to hear a huff or the shuffle of material as Virgil tried to work off his embarrassment. He didn’t hear the slightest hint of movement.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and his voice broke. He clenched his fists, trying not to stain the floor with salty droplets. “I’m so... sorry, for everything, Virgil. For hurting you. For doing all the wrong things by you. For not being who you needed me to be, when you needed it the most.”

Against his will, his stinging eyes blurred further and spots on the carpet grew darker beneath him. “I’m sorry.”

He waited.

Nothing.

This was pointless. There was nothing on the other side of that door except silence and emptiness.

You told yourself not to get your hopes up, he thought, pulling back.

“I’ll... get out of your hair. I’m sorry for bothering you.”

The hallway remained still apart from the downtrodden shuffling footsteps slowly retreating.

Inside the bedroom, the embodiment of anxiety bit his lip so hard he tasted iron.

A few days later, Virgil crept out of his room for the first time in weeks, driven by his grumbling stomach and the ache in his chest. He rubbed the sleeves of his hoodie between his fingers in a repetitive, patterned motion. His breathing matched the movement. It became more forced as he descended the stairs. The kitchen was quiet, but not empty.

Virgil swallowed. No backing out now.

“Hey, Pat,” he said slowly. Patton looked up from where he was making pancakes at the stove. His face lit up, but from the way he wrung his hands together, Virgil could tell that he was restraining himself.

“Good morning, Virge,” he said. His voice was soft. It didn’t match the way his eyes shone with delight. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” said Virgil. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I just... wanted to apologise.”

Patton’s eyes blew wide. “Um... For what?”

That caught Virgil off-guard. Why was Patton avoiding it? Usually he was open to anyone trying to talk about their thoughts. Had Virgil done something wrong? Had he made a mistake hiding from him? He shuffled in place.

“Don't make me, like... say it,” he grumbled.

Patton looked baffled, but pleasantly so. He smiled and shook his head. “Say what, kid — uh —”

“For ignoring you last night,” Virgil said, interrupting before Patton could stammer too much.

Patton blinked, tilting his head like a dog. “Last night...?”

Virgil frowned. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to —”

“Oh, no, of course not!” Patton said, shaking his head and raising his hands. “I just got a little confused! I’m more than happy to — Oh! Good morning, Logan!”

Virgil resisted the urge to glance over his shoulder. All he got from the others now, aside from Patton, was awkward silences and loaded glares. It was doubtful that his anxiety would take kindly to one of Logan's indifferent silences this early in the morning.

“Good morning.” Logan’s response was cold... but it was a response, at least. The logical side came into Virgil’s view as he moved into the kitchen and brewed himself a mug of coffee without another word.

Patton turned back to Virgil, hands outstretched. “Virgil —”

“It’s fine,” Virgil said. Patton’s face flashed with hurt, and Virgil’s chest tinged painfully. He met Patton’s gaze meaningfully. “Really.”

Patton noticeably relaxed. He smiled, and it looked natural, and continued to make breakfast. Virgil shuffled down on his seat, listening to Patton’s pitiful attempt to converse with Logan, and tried not to cringe.

Virgil stood in front of a closed bedroom door and hated the queasy feeling in his stomach.

“Look, if this is how you felt the other night, my bad. I feel awkward as fuck.” Virgil was too scared to pause. If he paused, there was no doubt he would start overthinking, and then he’d back out, and then maybe he’d regret it. Virgil was so sick of regretting things. “And uh. Just for the record, you got the cardigan wrong. Again. So maybe just… stop trying.”

He noticed with a jolt that he was digging his fingernails into his wrists. He pried his arms apart and forced the words through his throat. “You’ve already got Thomas and Patton backing you. You can stop acting like a cheesy cartoon villain and just start trying to get the rest of our good wishes.” He realised how wrong that felt to say, and moved to cover up: “Not mine, though. Sorry, not sorry. That’s not happening for a while. Ever, actually. Don’t hold your breath.”

Virgil grinded his teeth, trying not to wince at himself. “I still hate you, is my point. But you make Patton happy, and... I guess you look after Thomas, in your own way.”

He looked at the ground. He thought of comforting smiles that spread warmth across his chest like wildfire. He thought about his anxiety being unconsciously battled into submission each time he was welcomed into each room he crept carefully into.

He thought about calming tactics and kind eyes and gentle voices and grey turning into patched purple. “I’m... definitely in no position to judge someone for that sort of shit.”

Virgil shook his head, trying to clear his mind. He had a point. Get to the point.

“Look, my point is that — fuck you, fuck this whole situation. You’re still a pretentious asshole.” He frowned. “But... stop pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s getting tedious.”

As he talked, he wondered if he imagined the shuffle on the other side of the door, like someone trying to muffle noise. He pushed the thought away.

Get to the point, part of his mind urged again. Be brave. Be brave, damnit.

“Every one of Thomas’ sides deserves to be themselves without fear or judgement,” he said finally, spilling the words from his mouth like hot coffee he’d swallowed too fast. He took a breath, like it had taken energy to finally say it, and registered the deafening silence swirling heavily around him.

That’s all I got.

It didn’t feel like a microphone-dropping statement, or something that he thought the embodiment of deceit really wanted to hear. But he’d said it, and he’d meant it, and he thought that maybe that was enough.

He slipped away, fleeing back to his room, because he would never be anything more than a coward.

But if the next morning saw Virgil wandering downstairs to find Patton and Janus winding around each other as they made breakfast, he might've been rubbing at his cheeks to clear the exhaustion from his eyes, or perhaps cover up the smallest remnants of purple sparkles.

[full-of-roman-angst-trash]

Happy Father's Day

This is a father's day fanfic. This is set in the Kindergarten Teachers AU.

Pairings: Romantic Roceit, Romantic Remlosleep (Remus x Logan x Remy), Platonic Moxiety

This fanfic includes: Trans!Remy (FTM), Nonbinary!Roman, Agender!Remus (Ze/Zem), Kid!Patton, Kid!Virgil.

Also here’s a quick list of what every gender-neutral term in this fanfic stands for-

Nopa- taken from ’(no)n-binary (pa)rent’

Baba- based on ‘Mama/Dada/Papa’. Also means dad in some languages and grandmother in others.

Zaza- a mashup of 'mama/dada/papa’ and the gender-neutral pronouns 'Ze/Zir’ or ‘Ze/Zem’. 

Zizi- neutral based on Italian for Aunt (Zia) and Uncle (Zio)

This is really bad. I really need to stop writing things in a hurry. I might delete this later.

Patton has alway loved summer. Heloved the hot weather and family holidays. But what he loved more was being able to have sleepovers with his befriend Virgil as often as they wanted. The two of them have known each other since birth since their parents are friends. They do everything together. At the moment they’re trying to brainstorm about what they should do for their parents for Father's day. They need gifts for Logan, Janus, and Remy so they had quite a bit of planning to do. 

"How about we start with your papa, Pat?" Virgil asks.

Patton nods, "Alright! How about we try asking baba and zizi Remus for help?"

Roman and Remus don't really like getting gifts for Father's day. The two of them prefer Parents' Day, so they’re usually able to help the two kids with getting gifts for their dads.

Virgil smiles, "Okay! Well let's go ask my zaza if he can call your nopa over."

The two of them stand up and go to the kitchen. 

Remus isn't at work today since the hospital ze works at is temporarily closed for repairs. Thankfully, ze's still getting paid, so he doesn’t mind the small vacation.

Once Virgil and Patton get to the kitchen, Virgil runs over to Remus and tugs on zir shirt.

Remus looks down at him and smiles, "What's up, pebble?"

Virgil smiles brightly, "Can you help us get gifts for uncle Janus, pops, and dad?"

"Sure!" He turns to Patton, "Do you want me to call your nopa over?"

Patton nods, "Yes, please!"

"Alright. You guys go wait in the living room while I call them."

The two kids nod and run back to the living room. After a while, Remus joins them. 

"Okay, Ro should be here soon. How about we start brainstorming some ideas while we wait for them to show up, yeah?"

"Okay!" Virgil and Patton excitedly say at the same time.

The three of them brainstorm for about 15 minutes before there's a knock on the door. 

Remus stands up and goes over to the door, opening it.

"Hey, Rem!" Roman says with a bright smile.

“Hey,” They share a brief hug before the two of them walk back to the couch.

"Baba!" Patton goes over and hugs Roman.

"Hi my little prince!" They hug Patton back and kiss his forehead, making the boy giggle.

"Let's get daddy's gift!" The little boy says cheerfully after kissing his parent's cheek.

"Alright, alright."

They break the hug and the four of them go back to thinking of gift ideas.

~~~~~

Remy came home at around two pm. He usually works at home, but this day he had to go to a client's house. When he walks in he sees Remus and Virgil on the couch. Both of them are smiling brightly and Virgil seems to be holding something behind his back.

"Hi, you two." Remy says with a hint of curiosity in his voice. 

Remus stands up and goes over to him, kissing his cheek.

"Hi, love. How are you feeling?"

Remy shrugs, "I'm alright. What are you guys doing?"

Virgil giggles and goes over to him, "Here, pops!" He holds out a present, "Happy father's day!"

"Oh, buddy," He takes the gift before giving Virgil a hug, “Thank you."

Virgil hugs him back, "No problem!' He pulls away after a while, "Now, hurry up and open it!"

Remy chuckles, "Okay, okay."

The three of them sit down on the couch. Remy opens the gift. Inside the box was a necklace with a heart on it, some markers, and a handmade card. 

"Aww, thank you guys. I love them." 

He hugs both Virgil and Remus. They hug him back.

"No problem, pops! I'm happy you like them!"

"Of course, love."

~~~~~

At around four pm, Logan came home. Despite the fact that it was summer, Logan still has to work. He usually is working on writing curriculums, going to conferences, workshops, and presentations. Today he had to go to a board meeting at the school. 

He goes inside and is a bit surprised when he sees the living room empty. Usually around this time, Virgil is watching TV or Remy is working in the living room. He walks into the kitchen and smiles when he sees his family there. Remus is making dinner while Remy and Virgil are talking at the dinner table. 

"Salutations guys."

"Oh! Hi, starlight. How was the meeting?" Remus asks, looking over at him with a smile.

Logan walks over to the table, sitting down next to Remy after kissing Virgil's head. "It was fine. How are you all doing?"

Remy rests his head on Logan’s shoulder and smiles, "We're doing well. Virge has something for you though."

Logan holds Remy close and raises a brow. He looks over at his son. “You do?"

Virgil smiles and holds out a gift for him, "Happy Father's day, dad!”

Logan smiles brightly and takes it, "Thank you, Virgil. I appreciate it."

He opens the gift. The gift included an astrology book, an expensive pen, and a card that Virgil made.

“Do you like it, dad?” Virgil asks.

Logan ruffles his hair, “I love it. Thank you again for the gift. I love you."

The little boy laughs and leans into the touch, "Love you too!"

~~~~~

Janus came home at around eight pm. He was tired after a long day of working on paperwork and talking to clients. He goes inside and immediately gets hugged by Patton.

"Daddy! You’re home," he says joyfully. 

Janus hugs him back and rubs his back, "Yup. Where's baba?"

Patton pulls away from the hug and smiles, "He's in the kitchen. Come on!"

Patton leads Janus to the kitchen, "Baba, daddy is here!"

Roman looks over and smiles. They go over and kiss Janus briefly."Welcome home, darling. How was work?"

He sighs,"Tiring, but it's whatever. Is there any left over dinner? I'm hungry."

Roman smiles sadly and kisses his cheek, "Yeah. I'll serve you some. But first, Patton wants to give you something. Come on."

Roman leads Janus over to the table and gently sits them down.

Patton walks over and gives Janus his gift, "Happy father's day, papa. I hope you like the gift!"

Janus takes it and smiles, "Thank you, sweetie."

He opens it and takes out a paper award that says 'Best dad ever' and a watch.

"Oh, kiddo," He sets the gifts on the table before hugging Patton, "Thank you so much. I love you."

Patton hugs him back and kisses his cheek, "Of course, daddy! I love you too!"

Janus pulls away from the hug after a while and smiles.

"How about after you eat, my love, we watch a movie?" Roman asks.

Janus nods, "Yeah, that sounds nice."