#himbo!konig

[tacticalprincess]

a/n i need him in ways that wouldve gotten me lobotomized in the 50s…

himbo!könig wanted your first time together to be special. after all the months of work he put in getting you to take him seriously, all of his dumb attempts at courting you, he wasn’t going to fumble his chances with you now.

he’s usually pretty confident in himself, almost to the point of delusion, but something about you makes him so nervous, and he can’t wrap his head around someone like you genuinely being interested in a goofy guy like him :( that’s why he misses all of the opportunities you give him to fuck you, always taking your hints and attempts at seducing him the wrong way…

“it’s so hot in here, köni.” “are you getting sick, liebchen? should i turn the air on?” “no, i think i’m wearing too many clothes…” “…you don’t look overdressed to me.”

at some point you start to question if he actually does want you in that way. but the way even the slightest touch from you has him popping boners is enough to shake you out of those doubts. everything about you seems to turn him on. he’s convinced you were plucked straight from his wettest dreams, and he can’t stand to be in close proximity to you for too long without being affected. but he thinks he hides it well enough— always covering the proof of his arousal with a subtle pillow over his lap whenever you’re around.

of course he wants to make the move, but he wants to do it properly. it happens the night he takes you to a small town carnival. he planned on kissing you on top of the ferris wheel, but he unfortunately surpassed the weight limit. instead he holds your hand on the rollercoasters and you feed each other fair food. he insists on stopping at every game until he’s won you too many stuffed animals for you to carry and eventually you’re forced to leave.

he’s shaking in his boots by the time you get back to his place, tripping over the mess on his floor and stumbling over his words. sensing his hesitancy, you’re the one to lead him to his room, your hand wrapped around his large finger.

“are you sure, maus? we don’t have to, i have DVDs–”

“shut up and fuck me, köni.” you huff, already fully naked and exposed on his bed. “please.”

he plans to take it slow, he really does. getting the chance to please you, to be let inside your hot body for the first time, is a privilege he doesn’t take lightly. he wants you both to savor it, he has to make it good for you :(

instead, he absolutely loses himself the moment his fat, pulsing cock sinks into your gummy cunt. he goes full caveman, your headboard slamming against the wall with the force of his thrusts for all your poor neighbors to hear :( all thoughts leave him when he’s sheathed inside of you except for how perfect your sopping pussy feels around him, borderline animalistic as he uses your smaller body as a fleshlight. the sounds of his heavy balls smacking against your ass accompanied by your pretty whines and moans only spur him on.

he fucks you in missionary so it’s more intimate, but there’s nothing romantic about the way he’s mounting you. you thank god for making you flexible as he’s pushing your knees up to your ears, seemingly trying to push his cock deeper than your small cunny has room for, stretching your poor cunt past its limit. you swear you can feel him all the way in your stomach, mushroom tip bruising your cervix with each thrust.

you don’t even notice you’re sobbing until he does. “are you okay, liebe? does it hurt?” he asks through heavy pants. “fuck, i’m sorry. i don’t think i can stop myself, you just��� you feel so fucking good. you’re so… warm… squeezing me so tight. just- just hang in there for me, ja?”

your brain can’t work for long enough to form words, rough thrusts drawing nothing but high pitched staccato “uh-uh-uh”’s from your throat. you’re drunk on the feeling of his thick cock splitting you open, the way his heavy body squishes yours, barricading you in so you’re completely engulfed by him. his hairy stomach ruts against your sensitive, puffy clitty until you’re clenching around him, your sudden orgasm draining the cum out of his tight balls. “so good. fuck, you’re so perfect. best pussy i’ve ever felt.” he fucks you through the high, mindlessly overstimulating you both until you have to physically push him off of you.

you might’ve created a monster…

[sillyclownliker]

Attention all tumblrites if you love big dumb himbos (think fannon könig) I'm begging you to go watch Abigail you will be very pleased 🙏 bro is huge and stupid and I need him very badly

[toxikwaist]

[slashing-bunni-farm]

Why are Call of Duty fanfic writers one of the best, istfg

warnings: overstim

when virgin!konig eats you out for the first time, he’s so so sloppy. it's obvious he's inexperienced, but you still find yourself bucking your hips into his face. almost too enthusiastically, he dives in and laps at your pussy like there’s no tomorrow. you can see him humping the bed for a scrap of relief, and judging by the sounds he's making, he's going to cum in his pants. he grabs your thighs and pulls you even closer, sticking his tongue in your hole before dragging it up to circle your clit messily.

the stimulation on your clit makes you cum on his face, and you try shoving him off of you, but it's no use. this hulking mass of a man stays with his tongue buried in your pussy, and it's too much in the best way possible. you're overstimulated and shaky, but konig's too pussydrunk to notice or care. he takes your clit between his lips and sucks like it's a lollipop, and you moan loudly.

at this point, the noises he makes are louder than yours. he's licking up every drop of your wetness and soaking his face in your juices. you've cum too many times to count. you try to lock your legs together so he can't reach your overstimulated pussy, but he pries them apart and resumes his ministrations. he's cum more than ever just from grinding against the bed, his boxers and pants ruined. and, once again, he stuffs your pussy full of his tongue and makes you feel so good you could sob.

[gremlingottoosilly]

Serial Killer/Slasher!Konig trying to comfort his darling to not worry about the blood while still covered in blood and probably guts (DK if you do these types of requests, feel free not to do, hope you're doing well)

Slasher!Konig is so awkward! He is just a dorky himbo who happens to like to kill people in his free time, and he spends his silly big paycheck to get weapons to kill even more people, and he is very skilled at making death traps, and he uses the same skills to make you a custom bed frame and some really cool furniture. He just doesn't understand why you get so scared over him spreading some poor sucker's guts all around your face. You do have a pretty face, but it would look even better with some red over it. Konig loves loves loves you! He is holding your hair as you puke after he got rid of one of his victims, and he even gets you a nicer pillows to lay down on after you're done puking your guts out! You are so scared of him, and he doesn't get it...okay, he might not smell really good - covered in blood and sweat, he is trying to be understanding and take a shower first. You claim you can still smell blood and him and this is just silly, he already washed himself all over! It's clear that you're just playing a prude princess, and, as much as he adores you, he can't stand for this behavior. You're in for a rude awakening and he wants nothing more but to put you in your place like a good girl. First, you need to calm down. He doesn't want to be rude, but you act rather irrational when you're all sreamy and panicky like that - Konig only killed a few people at once, you shouldn't be this scared, honestly. You're acting irrational and he kinda hates that he has to punish you the way he does - but there is nothing else he can do, unfortunately. Nothing else is possible for him, so he just pushes you down and deep, until you're placed on your belly. Konig is way too awkward to calm you down properly - he hopes that a good pounding would set you in place, even as you cry and shake. He knows you're probably weirded out by him as of now, but he needs to get his rocks off, and he can't be a good murder boyfriend if he is hard. Just bare with him, okay? He won't kill your best friend in front of you if you're a good girl.

[callsign-songbird]

OK, needed a fluffy drabble to follow up that sin. More below the cut!

Biblically accurate König headcannons

Tw: Social anxiety (I tried)

OK, ok, hear me out.

Konig is a big, scary colonel, right? With social anxiety? Omg this man.

This lumbering behemoth wall of muscle and intimidation is the type to reherse and plan what he's going to say for at least a minute or two straight before addressing his squad.

He thinks about the tone he should use, his volume, where to put inflections, how his face should move even beneath his mask, what he'll do with his hands when. And when it comes time to finally speak, he delivers his words with his heart nervously pounding in his chest, which causes his words to come out sharper and more agressive than he intends.

Everyone thinks that he's super intimidating, cold, and angry, but he's really just nervous around crowds and speaking in front of them.

Don't get me wrong, he would be more comfortable in front of his squad compared to a group of soldiers he doesn't know. But that's not saying much.

And it doesn't mean that he's "Shy" or fumbles and trips over his words nervously (even if it's a cute thought)

No, he probably actually appears quite calm, confident, and composed. Even when he's panicking internally.

Strategy and combat are easy to Konig, sometimes easier than breathing. But not standing out in a crowd? With his height? Now, that makes his palms sweat just a bit.

It's useful a lot of the time, sure. But it has its disadvantages. König probably prefers to remain in his office, in the gym, or on one of the training courses; where he doesn't have to think about what he's saying and doing, or how he's saying and doing it. He can focus his mind on something else.

OK, I know this is what you suckers want

But if you were König's person? I have a feeling he would cling very subtly to you. A new squad transfers to your base? König hardly ever leaves your side.

A lot of the time, he would make sure to be touching you in some way, too. You're probably shorter than him, so it wouldn't be irregular for him to rest a hand on your shoulder or against your arm. No one would notice if he stood a little too close and your boots were touching or your shoulder brushed against him.

It wouldn't be hard to read his tells once you pick up on them either.

Whenever he's rehersing how he'll say something in his mind, even if he's in the middle of a conversation outwardly, his eyes become focused on one or two spots while having this unfocused look in them, as if he's only half present.

Whenever he's starting to feel overwhelmed or drained in a crowd (whether he will admit to or realize it or not), he'll usually end up with one hand in his pocket, the other reaching for you or drumming on his thigh.

And as soon as it's just the two of you? Well, you best believe all he wants is to recharge. He likes holding you in his arms with your back against his chest. He loves everything about it.

He loves feeling the rise and fall of your chest, hearing your breathing, hearing your voice. He loves looking down at you and watching as you occupy yourself or relax and melt into him. He could hold you forever, you're his personal portable charger. Just the juice he needs after a stressful day. (Or any day, for that matter.)

Or, maybe you aren't the touchy type and don't really like being held? That's ok, he gets it. Really. He's more than content to simply occupy the same room as you. Your voice seems to make all of his worries go away, watching your lips move is utterly entrancing, and he can't help but get lost in your eyes; whether they're looking at him or something doesn't matter.

Long story short, biblically accurate König rules, and we stan the German chaos himbo. Even when he's not a himbo lol

[kneelingshadowsalome]

i’ve never sent an ask before (your girl is shy) but do you think Roman! Konig is a womanizer and knows what he’s doing or is he still a virgin because he only ever thought of having sex with and breeding his future woman? and the only reason he’d have the slightest clue is because he’s surrounded by men and has only sat in the background and watched or is he just a big horny himbo?

(feel free to ignore this but I just had to know🙃😋)

Aw no need to be shy! 🩷

Roman!König is a big horny himbo who has an agenda (we'll hear more about this in the last chapter) and he probably likes to think of himself as a womanizer but... he's actually a bit inexperienced? Not a virgin (he used to be a gladiator and was basically what we would call a celebrity or a superstar, and he had women thrown for him occasionally) but also not anyone's "first choice", so to say :/

So, uh. He doesn't always know what he's doing, but he hopes his enthusiasm will make up for it!

[certifiedcodbabygirl]

I censored one of my posts but that's just because I hadn't blogged those words before and I'm still new to actually writing on here (I fixed it when i found out tho) lmao 😭but yeah get into the game/ media before writing shit abt it. I won't say I dislike the COD fandom but I do dislike the Tiktok COD "fandom"

The influx of TikTok "writers" on this site who are censoring words like they're still on that clock app are pissing me off. So many people who haven't engaged with a single iota of the media they're writing for outside of TikTok videos are on here writing shit like 'unalived'. Please die.

[asmicity-writes]

Konig headcannons (silly)

hes such a silly guy ong.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

tap danced as a kid (hes rlly traumatized by that lol)

hes tall n big, we all kno- and hes not insecure. he'll bully u if ur shorter than him.

kinda himbo but w social anxiety

big teddy bear

hes a colonel so hes pretty articulent but also has anxiety on the inside (?)

he sounds very intimidating at times ofc

hes the "stfu do as i say" type but is also kinda "ru ok there bae 🥺" sorta guy

SO ADORABL

his back is also bigger than ur bed lol

cuddles!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i might make a cuddle fic later bc yes

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

-asmicity

[tacticalprincess]

himbo!könig is so gymbro coded. it’s like the two things his brain chose to retain info about are nutrition and exercise, and he could talk about it for hours to anyone that’s willing to listen — which somehow always ends up being you. you just don’t have the heart to tell him to shut up when he’s speaking so passionately, mansplaining the benefits of creatine while you nod along absentmindedly. he’s not even patronizing about it, he feels so much pride for being able to teach a pretty, smart girl like you something, especially when it’s one of his biggest hobbies.

you accompany him to the gym just to ogle him while he lifts weights heavier than three of you, swinging your legs back and forth whilst relaxing on a machine. god he’d be such eye candy; all sweaty and red from exertion, large, chiseled muscles bulging and straining. all the filthy noises he’d make fuzzing up your brain until you’re unable to stop your mind from wandering, correlating it to how he sounds when he’s inside you. it’s one of your favorite forms of entertainment, your panties always embarrassingly damp by the time you leave. at some point you ask him to bench you and he’s all over it, “count for me, ja? nice and loud.”

it doesn’t matter that you’re not much of a gym rat yourself. he jokes that he likes having you there as motivation anyway, and he’s always showing you, his cute little trophy girlfriend, off to his gym buddies. parading you around the gym :( he usually doesn’t speak much to others, but he’d feel so confident with you on his arm.

afterwards, when you’re all pent up and achey from listening to him grunt and watching him sweat all day, you have no choice but to ride him into oblivion, bouncing up and down on his meaty cock like your life depends on it. he’ll feed you some of his protein shake when you’re all done — “that was a lot of cardio, hase. you gotta fuel those muscles.”

“könig…”

“what? you ever heard of muscle atrophy?”

[konigsblog]

just thinkin about loser sub!konig who you fucked only once because he had a big dick, and now he’s unhealthily obsessed with you and wants anything you’ll give him, any time of day. you’ll give him a handjob to get him to stop following you around like a weirdo and look really annoyed while doing it while hes basically yelling out moans and shooting big fat loads all over himself. you’re too prideful to admit that you enjoy it, and that you come repeatedly on his cock every time you let him have a “pity fuck.” wtf are you gonna do, apologize for being a bully?? no, this big loser himbo is working SO hard to please you after you so graciously first gave him a spare crumb of coochie, and he’ll drain his balls as deep in your cunny as he can if it makes you happy, and you don’t want him to lose that drive that makes him bust holes in the drywall with how hard he fucks you into the mattress by saying sorry :( and he absolutely just loses his mind once he gets inside, almost drooling and crying as he pumps you so full over and over with his thick globs of breeder cum :(((((( im not even into degredation i just wanna see big burly men cry over coochie 💀

also if you dont have a 🧚‍♀️ anon yet, would you mind if i used it when sharing thots? 👉👈

he becomes so needy and desperate for you. pawing at your clothes, attempting to tear them off you before being pushed away, sobbing and whining when you continuously denied him. if you're being honest, you only ever had sex with him due to his massive, heavy cock. you can see it bulge out of his pants, grinding against your ass whilst begging for you to let him fuck you.

but now he was obsessed, and unhealthily. gritting his teeth and glaring at others who got the chance to touch and fuck you, listening to your moans as they slam their cocks into your sore, wet and tight hole. getting on his knees whilst being alone in the barracks room, panting and pulling at your clothes :((

pushing yourself back against the mattress, lifting your hips and peeling your wet panties off. you could practically see drool dripping from his mouth immediately ripping off his clothes and rutting inside you. tears flowing from his eyes, bottom lip quivering causing his face to become raw and pink. coming soso fast :(( and graciously offering another round, overstimulating him as he wailed :(

[uhohdad]

two things you’re never going to see from me is complaints on the portrayal of konig’s character (or anyone else, really) and “rules” on how to write your COD fanfiction.

idk about y’all but when i write it’s incredibly self indulgent. i write about what i want to write to satisfy my own sexual creative needs and i think y’all should do the same. you’re not gonna see me throw a fit if i don’t agree with your portrayal of a fictional man with 3 pieces of confirmed lore. if i disagree that much i just won’t read it? i’m not going to rain on your parade and tell you that you should stop doing your creative outlet and sharing your stories bc i don’t agree with how you want to write his character or bc you don’t follow canon.

you wanna portray him as a stone cold and ruthless killer who thirsts for the blood of his enemies? as the big soft uwu boy everyone hates so much? you want him to be 20y/o, 45 y/o, 60y/o? mean, kind, confident, anxious, smart, himbo, reserved, persistent, wholesome, a pervert? you want to strip this man of everything you know totally OOC and just borrow his appearance for a coffee shop AU? it’s okay! chances are there’s other people out there who were craving just the thing you’re cooking.

no one is doing this for a living, we’re all writing fanfiction about our imaginary boyfriends in CALL OF DUTY as a hobby. it’s just not that serious. this goes for all creative fandom works, too.

i’m personally very picky about my fanfiction, but who’s silly little problem is that? that’s my silly little problem. i’m here for the grind, the chase, the dig. too weak to handle scrolling back 100 pages on ao3 just to find the perfect strangers to enemies to friends to lovers 100k word porn with plot with accurate character potrayal you were looking for? you might be in the wrong business if you can’t handle the hunt, my friend.

y’all are making free content for us to consume. that’s more than enough, and the priority at all times should be to make sure you’re having fun writing. I’d rather you all share your OOC goofy little fics that you felt motivated and inspired to write than a canon friendly story you had to force yourself to get through for our sake.

anyway i’ll go to bat for fic writers any day of the week.

tldr; don’t ever let anyone dictate how you express yourself creatively, give yourself permission to go nuts like a 6 yo old with paste, glitter, and elbow macaroni. free yourself from the weight of the chains of creative stifling and see how close to the sun you can girlboss. let us seethe at the hands of your raw muse.

and as always, thank you for sharing your art with the world.

[1-800-suck-my-clit]

Testing my multifandomness, so here's a list of ships I support/enjoy and why

Most (damn near all) are ganna be MlM

Clegan (bucky x buck)

John is so love sick for gale you just have to ship them

Hannigraham (Hannibal x Will Graham)

They act like a married couple with Gothic scenes and inuendos

Bat jokes (Batman x Joker)

Idk man something abt villian and hero falling in love despite being the farthest of opposites. And I love their banter where Joker shamelessly flirts with him

Superbat (Batman x Superman / Bruce Wayne x Clark Kent)

Now ik what ur thinking "bat jokes AND superbat how scandalous😱" this one only really applies to their "citizen" forms. I love the rich sugar daddy and kind southern accent trope. Also them in their hero forms are also cute bc batman let's his guard down for him

Zosan (zoro x sanji)

Your honor they're married🙄

Hisoillu

They give off Doberman and black cat energy. And canonically they are married ‼️

Rathelstan (ragnar x athelstan)

The love I have for them hold no words so here are some quotes that made me wanna rip my heart out.

"What do you mean?! You cannot leave...you cannot leave me! I love you...and you're the only I can trust so you must stay"

"I always believed that death is a fate far better than life, for you will be reunited with lost loved ones. But we will never meet again, my friend. I have a feeling that your God might object to me visiting you in Heaven. What am I to do now?"

"I hate you for leaving me. I ache from your loss. There is nothing that can console me now. I am changed, so are you.”

Symbrock (Venom x Eddie)

HEAR ME OUT PLEASE...So um anyways

Spideypool (spiderman x deadpool)

Their banter in the comics is so cute

Soapghost(konig) (Soap x Ghost (x Konig) / Simon Riley x John McTavish (x Konig))

Got really into them when CoD started blowing up on my FYP last year

Patrochillies (Patrocles x Achilles)

Ganna cry I love them sm. "He is half of my soul as the poets say" 🤣🔪🩸

Eremika (Eren x Mikasa)

If u don't belive they are end game ur wrong abt everything🥱. Tho I belive in eremika being cannon I also ship EreJean (Eren x Jean) who's to say a Lil hate sex never hurt anyone 🤭

Jayvik (jayce x viktor)

Idk who I wanna be jayces girlfriend, his boyfriend, or him😩

BoKuro (Bokuto x Kuroo)

Himbos in love? Count me in. tho I do also ship them with their main ships aswell

NaruSasu (Naruto x Sasuke)

No one chases a man around for damn near a decade bc "We're best friends🥺" 😒

Last but not least

KiriBaku (kirishima x Bakugou)

I don't give one damn what ANYONE says they are literally end game. FUCK BAKUDEKU‼️‼️🗣 I need the firecracker and his leash‼️

Um thank u for listening to my Ted talk lol 🏃🏾‍♀️💨

[credince--writes]

Requests

Submit some reqs for my little himbo tree Konig.

Thanks.

[certifiedcodbabygirl]

Also a few more:

Abusive Ghost writers- They write about him being emotionally or physically abusive and glorify it, completely disregarding the fact that his childhood was abusive and is gentle with the people he rescues

The non-con writers- they completely disregard every trait of their personalities and paint them in a horrific light, completely ignoring the trauma they've been through

The "I only include Gaz to not get backlash and it shows" writers- They barely give any detail when writing him but include ALLL the detail when writing the rest of the 141 and go with the generic "he's a sweetheart and is gentle" while not going into any other personality traits of his, despite him being one of the best known characters in the campaigns. They give no depth to his character. It really shows that they don't want to write him but just do the bare minimum to not be accused of being racist.

The "Konig is shy UWU" TikTok girlies- They completely ignore the personality that he shows in his voice lines and the backstory provided for him. He's a cocky guy who learned how to use his size as a strength rather than something to be weary about like in his younger years. He isn't scared he's gonna crush you, he isn't shy. They Infantilize anxiety and are convinced he can't properly care for himself just because he has social anxiety.

The genuinely "Peepaw Price" girls. There's a difference between those that joke about it and people that genuinely think he's old. He's 38. The same age as Ghost. Part of his job is knowing how to use complicated technology.

And then the Himbo Soap people. They talk about how he's so himbo coded and make it out as if he isn't an extremely intelligent man. He's a demolitions expert and one of the youngest people to get into selection.

y'all, I made the mistake of revealing that I write fanfiction as a hobby, and when asked about the fandoms I write for, I broke it down as I know best: into cliques. I realize I might be shaking the table but it is what it is.

This is what I said for CoD (I've since add some more stuff):

You got the forever war between Gaz Nation and Gaz Deniers. May or may not be rooted in his attractiveness as a person of color, opinions vary (read: it most definitely is). Bonus points if the racism comes out in full force. DOUBLE/TRIPLE those points if it's expressed using butchered ass AAVE. 🥴

You got the Masked Men Lovers Brigade of which König, Ghost, and Keegan are the patron saints and arguably the holy trinity.

You got the Peepaw Price Lovers who absolutely adore his chonky cheeks, peepaw mannerisms, lumberjack body complete with the slutty waist, and relative long-suffering thanks to the shenanigans of the rest of the crew.

You got the Soap Suds who, I think, have found that relative balance between Johnny being a destructive-as-all-hell force to be reckoned with and the quintessential golden retriever boyfriend. His VA doesn't make it any better apparently lmao.

You got the Ghost lovers who've pretty much diversified him so he can run the gamut of Daddy Dom Extraordinaire™, Babygurl™, Sassy Simon™, and the list is endless. What IS consistent is that someone parked a dump truck on that ass and he has some big ole titties. There's also the subset of people who REALLY, REALLY love Ghost but also think his VA is ugly (which he isn't) while simultaneously thinking that he (Ghost) is supposed to be David Gandy levels of immaculate despite being in active combat. Make it make sense.

There's the Gravediggers who, for the most part, acknowledge their love-hate relationship with Graves and I think that is both hilarious and endearing.

You have the Kult of Köthulhu, König's devoted followers who have allowed him to transcend his gremlin nature to become the long-lost progeny of Cthulhu. Move the fuck over, Cthylla. I kid but he, like Ghost, has also been diversified in terms of his portrayal. And no, he's not a part of 141. Some followers of His Gremliness are also embroiled in a forever war with Gaz Nation so please be safe out there, y'all.

You got the Valeria girlies who want her to sit on their faces. I don't blame them. Please do.

You have the Los Vaqueros crew who need more love shown to them and Pony by Ginuwine is their official theme song thanks to Alejandro Thee Stallion. The less said about the butchered Spanish I've read in some fics, the better.

There's also the Farah Fanatics who rightfully adore her and deserve their flowers just like the rest of the cliques.

There's the Keller Kollective who, I think, tends to intersect with the Farah Fanatics. This lot also deserves their flowers because Keller is a sub absolutely underrated as a character. You'd also be forgiven for thinking he and Price are elated.

You also got the Horangi Horde who, just like Gaz Nation, will RISE TF UP. I think. Hopefully. lmao

And then there's the self-righteous crew who, for whatever reason, seem to think they're above it all and love to police writers on what they write and how they write the characters (we're talking in terms of rather innocuous subjects in the grand scheme of things; the sus shit absolutely needs to be and should be called out). Interestingly enough, this group also seems to forget that they're in the same damn boat by being in the fandom, consuming, and writing about the same characters. The ones who have all the energy but none of the courage even if they say or think they do. Bonus points if they also move like fans. Double/Triple those points if they, too, also use butchered-ass AAVE to make their points. 🥴

The girlies who can't separate fiction from reality and insist on harassing the VAs and their significant others and families because how DARE they have a regular degular life outside of *checks notes* their job. Baby, it was never gonna be you. It will never. be. you.

did I get them all? lmao

[themurderofcrowscollective]

Some headcanons about our lovely himbo Shadow, Lloyd!

(This is him by the way)

Also warning, this'll be very gay. - - - Lloyd doesn't know if he's gay, straight, bi or pan but he often gets mistaken for being aroace because whenever he's asked about his love life or his sexuality, he'll get very nervous and anxious but that is also mistaken for being uncomfortable. He just doesn't have the ability to answer that, and he's very deep in the closet. He only told his friends about this so they understand, but it took him YEARS to tell them after he finally had enough of them trying to pry into his love life. - - - HOWEVER, that changes when he and his friend group are taken into the 141 (that fanfiction will be written later, but trust me, it's lore.) after a life-changing mission. This leads him down a whole new path of finding himself because of how open everyone is about themselves; There's Soap and Ghost, Ale and Rudy, Konig and Horangi, even Konig is a lover to Soap and Ghost too. Whenever it came to women in his new life, he's kind of just... never felt anything for them. Don't get him wrong, he's a devoted chugging man of respect women juice but he's never fallen in love with them. His few friends that are women are simply that, friends. But when it came to the men he worked with? Oh forget it, he'll lay in bed thinking about how bulked up and beautiful they all are and turn 50 shades of red under 3 seconds if he sees ANY of them shirtless. His friends love to give him shit about this, as bros would, and laugh at him when he turns redder than a tomato. One time Jared had gone a bit too far describing Konig to Lloyd in great detail and the poor himbo fell over with a bloody nose with how red he was added on top of that. Jared is still sorry about that. He has too much of a brotherly bond with his friends to have caught any feelings for them, and besides, Jared's got two lovers, Keith is a mystery unsolvable to all of mankind and Nick has a gay lover. Lloyd just never saw the right kind of men, until they all joined the 141. He may have a think for dilfs too, he'll always regret the day he walked into the gym and saw Price and Nikolai both shirtless, sparring together in the ring. Lloyd still daydreams about that day and has drawn pictures of that memory (including gay porn. Of who? None of your business.) - - - Lloyd draws everything he gets inspired by, (aside from gay porn) he'll draw just about anything. His favorite thing to draw is portraits of someone, anyone really. Do they know? No. He likes to keep his artistic skills a secret and will draw pictures for anyone on their birthday and say it was from someone else. He doesn't admit it but he loves the chaos it brings. Even to this day, his friends still don't know he draws. But there's been one time someone almost did, and that was when Lloyd was a squirrely thin teenage boy. He'll never tell that story to anyone. - - - You might be asking why Lloyd keeps so many secrets about himself, only letting people find out things about himself that he'll let them find like his gardening and cooking skills. Really it's because he's always been on defense mode, keeping his smaller and less-masculine hobbies to himself because his grandpa didn't allow it and would go on tirades about how men should have manly hobbies and all that. He's careful about who he talks to, never giving out anything about himself if they're a stranger, acquaintance or distant relative/friend of a friend but if you're a friend or family member of his, he'll shed a bit more light on himself but if you mean more to him than anyone else, he'll trust you with all of him. And he's never done that, letting himself trust someone so deeply scares him shitless and he loses sleep over it when he's had an uneventful day. He has to stay busy or else his thoughts get too much. - - - Lloyd is a workaholic, so he'll work himself to the bone until he ultimately ends up crashing either unwillingly or... unwillingly. If he's starting to stay awake for days, drink an insane amount of coffee or redbull, and go missing all day, he's overworking himself.