#him in high & low is literally what i imagine sirius black is like on a daily basis
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nakamoto yuta as sirius black
#i needed to get this of my chest#him in high & low is literally what i imagine sirius black is like on a daily basis#i am now not able to watch any nct content normally (not that i was ever normal about them)#i now just think about idol!sirius and manager!severus au always#severus snape#snirius#snack hp
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to love, and to be loved.
unrequited love that really isn't unrequited love at all. they're just idiots.
Sirius always imagined what it would be like; to be loved. to love. it was everything. it was beautiful and sad and scary and enticing and absolutely everything he's ever wanted. the thing he yearns for most. but he doesn't know it yet. doesn't know what it feels like, what it looks like. he's never faced it. all he's ever known is hate. fear. the impossible rage his father throws at him, the shrill screams of his mother, the curses, the hexes. how could he ever find love, when the world has clearly shown him that it simply is not meant to be?
He's surrounded by so much of it. love. Though he never realizes it. not for a long time, til it slaps him right in the face.
They were in the common room. James, Peter, Lily, Mary and Marlene. Remus. they were just studying, listening to music, chatting about the highs and lows of hogwarts quidditch.
"I love this song," James sighed.
Not bothering to look up from copying Remus' herbology notes, Sirius rolled his eyes. "Of course you do Prongs."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"I dunno. It just makes sense that you would love it. You love a lot of things, but you would especially love a song that is screaming about love," he shrugged.
"Of course he would, he is literally the product of true love!" Marlene joined. "I mean seriously - shut up Sirius - your parents are probably the most in love people I have ever met. I will rule out my own just to say that."
"It's easy to rule mine out on that," he mumbled. "But it isn't just your parents Jam, you are literally a walking ball of love. You're just so-" loveable. So loved and loving and loveable and everything he has ever wanted.
"You're saying that as if you're the complete opposite. Like you're this dark unloveable evil being!" Lily joked, "Yet you're glued to his side."
"What?"
"You're acting like you're his complete opposite, but you aren't." Peter supplied.
James laughed. "Oh please, where on earth would you get that!"
But all Sirius could do is stare. At James, at Lily, at Peter. At Remus, who stared right back. He looked confused? No, something else. Concerned, was it?
"Padfoot," Remus said from next to him, softly, knocking him out of his trance. "Where on earth would you get that?"
He stared. He didn't know what to do. He didn't even know what they were saying. What were they saying? "I just- um-" He looked around at his friends, searching. They all stared back. He needed to escape. All of their joking, happy faces, were replaced by those of worry and confusion. "I'm just gonna-" He stopped. He couldn't explain. How was he supposed to explain? Quickly, he gathered his things and practically ran out of the common room. He didn't know where he was going. He was just walking. Just walking through the halls, the empty corridors, suddenly out the front doors and onto the grounds. He didn't stop until he was almost stepping into the black lake. Breathing heavily, he slumped to the ground. He could finally breathe without being looked at like he was some - some disgrace. He was vaguely aware of a warm body sitting down next to him, but he didn't look up from the blades of grass pulling between his fingers.
"Padfoot," the voice spoke. Remus spoke. He waited. "Sirius, please, would you look at me?"
He looked up, slowly, meeting his eyes. He waited. He didn't want to start explaining. He wouldn't give too much away.
Remus sighed, "where on earth would you get that, Sirius?"
"Where do you think?" The dam broke. Suddenly, there he was. The boy in that big house, scared and confused as to why he couldn't be loved the way he saw all the other children being loved. Why he couldn't please them enough, or be what they wanted.
"They're wrong." Remus said it so confidently. Like it was nothing but the truth. Like there was nothing anyone could ever say to prove him wrong. "They are nothing but wrong when it comes to you. They don't know a thing about you, and you are nothing like them. They are the ones who are unloveable. They are the ones who are evil."
"But how do you know that! How can you even say that when-"
"Because I love you!" Remus turned towards him. "I love you," he reaches out, "I don't think there is anyone more deserving of love than you, Padfoot," he whispers.
Sirius is speechless again. He isn't used to this. To love. To getting to feel what he's dreamt of feeling. What he's been waiting for.
"You....you love me?" he looks up at Remus, hesitantly.
"I love you," he repeats, determined. "I love you so much and it hurts to know that you don't think it's true."
"But how!" Sirius cries.
"I just do! I love everything about you! I love to be with you, even when we aren't doing anything. I love to have you near, I love to talk and sit and just. I do. I love you. And I would really like you to let me."
"To let you love me," Sirius repeated. He sounds fuzzy, far away. "You love me. You...you love me like I love you. You do?"
"I do." Remus wipes the tears gathering in Sirius' eyes. "I do," he repeats again, softly.
Sirius leans forward, resting his head on Remus'. "Me too Moony," he whispers. He says it softly, as if it would break if he spoke too loud.
He doesn't know how long they're out there, sitting by the lake, wrapped in each others arms speaking softly to one another. When they finally kiss, it feels exactly how Sirius imagined. He feels safe, and all thoughts of not being enough melt away. His only thoughts being that he gets to love this perfect boy, and this perfect boy loves him too.
#guys i dont write#if i know u irl u didnt see this get out this isnt for u#i didnt proofread this#ahhhhhhhvnkjsvjkrv#im stressed to post this goodnight#wolfstar#sirius black#remus lupin#marauders era#remus x sirius#wolfstar microfic#wolfstar oneshot#hp marauders#marauders textpost
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.:Time and Time Again:. (Marauders Era x Reader) Ch 7
Severus looks back on everything that went wrong.
tw: non-consensual kissing/harassment, trauma responses
LINKS: CH 1 CH 2 CH 3 CH 4 CH 5 CH 6 CH 7 CH 8
________________________________________________________
Ch 7 .:Things Unforgivable and Things Left Unsaid:.
Graduation day at Hogwarts was supposed to mark the beginning of a new adventure for you. Instead, it marked the day you decided that whatever it was between you and Severus Snape, friendship or otherwise, it was over.
Or at least that's what you had thought. Of course, the universe just loved making things more complicated for you. You were working with Charlie in Romania when you had gotten word that Severus defected from the death eaters and was now working as a double agent at Dumbledore's behest. He continued teaching Potions at Hogwarts, and was even indited as a member of the Order. If anything, that only solidified your decision to go to America instead of staying in London. You didn't even know what to think. Of course you trusted Dumbledore, confusing as the man was, but you didn't know if you could really trust Snape again. You had worked towards forgiving him; over time you moved past what happened, but it was difficult to really say it was 'resolved' when you quite literally haven't spoken a word to each other in over a decade. You didn't even know where to start.
For the entirety of your seventh year, you didn't speak a word to Severus. It was hard to imagine that such a tight knit trio like the one you, him, and Lily had formed could crumble in an instant, but that's exactly what happened.
The end of your sixth year at Hogwarts was a quarter Snape would never forget, no matter how hard he tried. It was when everything fell apart. . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1976 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“James!” you yelled, running to the top of the hill where he and the rest of the Marauders had Snape held upside down.
“What are you doing?” you said, immensely hurt and trying to keep your voice steady, “You said this would stop, you promised. . . you swore.”
“(Y/n), I. . .” James trailed off, immediately feeling guilty. As he turned to you Snape dropped to the ground, attempting to scramble to his feet but finding his ankle twisted.
Sirius moved towards you to say something but you put your hand up firmly.
“No,” you said, “not a word out of you, Black.”
Sirius stared at you, wide-eyed, shrinking back as you called him by his last name for the first time in a long while. Not Sirius, not Pads. Black. As if your whole friendship had just been reset.
“And you two,” you said, addressing Remus and Peter, “how could you let this happen?!”
All four boys looked at you in shame, none of them daring to verbally respond.
Suddenly, Lily came running up the hill, having fallen behind you in your quick pace.
“Severus!” she panted, rushing over to him, “are you alright?”
Snape was in an angered daze, not even registering the words being said around him. The blood rushing through his veins felt like lava, his heart pounding in his ears, his chest, his tongue. His face burned with humiliation and hatred. Pure fucking hatred for James Fleamont Potter. For Lily to see him like that. . . for you to see him like that, pathetic, helpless, in need of your help once again. He wouldn't have it. He was a master of the dark arts now, he didn't have to fucking take this. He would curse Potter into the next century, he would—
“Severus!”
Snape's eyes snapped open, not even realizing they were closed. The world came rushing in around him and he was suddenly acutely aware of Lily's hand on his arm. He reeled back at her touch as if he'd been burned.
“Don't touch me!” he screeched, startling the redheaded girl. Her eyes were filled with concern, but all Snape could see was pity.
“Sev—“
“I don't need any help from you, you filthy Mudblood!”
And everyone in the clearing stilled.
The color drained from Snape's already pale face as he realized what he'd just said.
“Lily. . .” Severus whispered; pleading, desperate.
“Don't come any closer,” Lily said, her voice stone cold as tears welled up in her eyes.
“I'll kill you,” James said lowly.
“Prongs, no—”
“I'll kill you, you slimy bastard!” James growled, Remus moving quickly to hold him back.
You stood in the middle of it all, staring at Severus. Severus, who'd always told Lily that blood status didn't matter. Severus, who you and Lily always stood up for no matter what. Severus, who you thought you had feelings for up until this exact moment.
Without even thinking you stepped forward, grabbing Lily's hand.
“Let's go, Lils,” you said, your expression unreadable as you looked down at Severus. Lily squeezed your hand back gratefully, fighting the sobs racking her chest as she turned around and took off with you.
“(Y/n), wait—” Snape tried to get up but found himself shoved back down to the ground by Sirius.
“No,” he said sharply, “you don't get to say anything to either of them, you hear me?”
“I—”
“What?” James spat, “you're sorry? Well sorry doesn't cut it! You say a word to her after what you called her and you'll wish you'd never have been born.”
Snape's head hung low, that wish already present in his mind.
“Leave him,” Remus said, this time not out of mercy, but malice; letting Snape wallow in his own misery as he left with his friends, looking for you and Lily.
Soon, Severus was left alone. Just as he began, and just as he should have never hoped for anything different. Was this it? That's how it was going to end? One mistake, and the only two people he'd ever cared about were ripped away from him.
No. He decided he had to apologize properly, consequences be damned. If those Marauders wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp afterwards, that was fine by him. He just needed to talk to Lily one more time. To tell her how deeply sorry he really was.
He took off down the hill, sprinting towards the castle and completely ignoring the burning pain in his ankle. He rushed through the grass, ignoring the looks he received from the other students walking by. He ran past the oak tree, through the castle gates, flying through the corridors and cutting across the courtyard when he skid to a stop at what he saw.
Lily and James stood in the center of the garden, her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as his lips captured hers. Her eyes were still wet with tears, the tears that he had caused. Severus didn't do a thing. His presence remained unknown to them as he slunk away back to his common room, heart silently breaking.
He was too late.
Nothing was the same after that.
Lily insisted that if you wanted to remain friends with Snape, as she now referred to him, she wouldn't hold it against you, but she made it very clear that she would never forgive him herself. But it wasn't as easy as wanting to stay friends with him or not; he'd changed that day.
After some time to let things settle down you tried to approach him, but he only became more and more hostile towards everyone, including you. You hardly saw him anymore. The only time you occasionally spotted him was when he was walking around school with Malfoy, Mulciber, Wilkes, and Avery, unable to look you in the eye lest you see the utterly crushed expression on your face as he fell deeper and deeper into the dark side.
You held your books tightly to your chest as you made your way to Hagrid's hut for one of your last Care of Magical Creatures class. You were being paired up with a few lower classmen to teach them the ropes for feeding all the creatures Hagrid kept in the meadows. You were a tad late, having been preoccupied at lunch, speedwalking to try and arrive on time when you saw a flash of silver-blue light emit from inside the forest. You could hear warbled shouting and laughter coming from the same direction, and your instincts told you to run.
However, because your nerves were on high alert, that also told you someone in there was in danger, and you couldn't just walk away from that. You drew your wand, abandoning your books by a rockface and moving towards the commotion, the distorted shouting soon becoming words.
“Oh come on, you little runts, you lot can do better than that!” you recognized Mulciber's voice.
A young girl shrieked as a giant acromantula barred its fangs at her, its front legs raised and poised to attack. Her friends were huddled in a corner, more students who couldn't have been older than second or third years, being forced to watch by Avery and Wilkes.
“How's this for Care of Magical Creatures, eh?” Mulciber taunted as he walked over to the other students, pulling a young boy out from the group.
“No!” the girl cornered by the spider cried, “please, don't!”
“Aw, how cute,” Mulciber drawled, “is this your little boyfriend, huh? Shame.”
The boy screamed in fear as he was suddenly lifted into the air by his ankles, forced to hover right above the spider just out of its reach. You wanted to wretch as you watched the scene unfold, unable to keep yourself hidden any longer.
You leaped into the clearing, a quick flick of your wrist relieving Mulciber of his wand. You did the same to Wilkes as he turned to you.
“Well well, why am I not surprised?” Avery scoffed. Right behind him stood Severus, his expression vacant.
“Grab this, and get to Professor McGonagall immediately,” you shouted to the younger Gryffindor students, tossing them a gold galleon. As soon as they touched the coin, the portkey shot them all back to the castle.
“Why are you always the one spoiling our fun?” Mulciber sneered.
“Someone's gotta do it,” you said, putting up a brave front although you were under no illusion as to your situation. You weren't fourth years anymore, and you were alone this time. They'd been studying the dark arts for the past two years. You knew you were outmatched, even with your dueling skills.
“Oh, come on, (Y/n), don't be a bore.”
You turned around at the sound of the familiar voice to see Rosier, an easy grin set into his face. Your heart dropped.
“So you too, huh?” you chuckled bitterly, “and here I thought you were one of the few good ones left.”
“You're not really that naive, are you?” he tutted, “you had to have known I would be inducted eventually. Might even get Barty to join us, even if he is a little nutty.”
You went for a stunning spell but found your wand spinning out of your hand before you even saw him move.
“Not so fun to be on the receiving end, is it?” Rosier said, “you're not the only one versed in non-verbal magic, (Y/n). In fact, I'd even go so far as to say we've surpassed you. Lucius will be furious, but I like you a lot, so I'll re-extend his old offer for him. Join us.”
You had no wand, no backup, no way out of this, but you stood your ground nonetheless.
“Eat shit,” you seethed. Rosier glowered at you, taking a few menacing steps forward. He grabbed your jaw firmly and you grit your teeth.
“I don’t think you heard me—”
He reeled back as you spit right in his face,
“You bitch,” he growled, wiping his face in disgust, “clearly no one ever bothered to train you.”
Without your wand you were really only left with one option, ready to defend yourself by revealing your animagus form, but you never got to take the first step forward.
“Imperio!”
You stopped in your tracks as a veil of what could only be described as pink fluff drifted over your mind. A smile immediately appeared on your face, and a giggle rose in your throat.
Severus looked at Rosier with horror, the rest of his crew looking among themselves uneasily.
“What do you think you're doing?” Snape hissed, “are you trying to get us all expelled?”
“So what?” Rosier said, “we've used the killing curse loads of times.”
“On insects, you loon,” Snape shot back, hoping his concern for you was masked enough.
“Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt your precious (Y/n), Sev.”
The nickname made his stomach churn. You used to call him that. Lily used to call him that. No one else did. No one else got to.
“Release them,” he said, raising his wand, “now.”
“Put that away,” Rosier's eyes narrowed, a smirk sliding back onto his face as he got an idea, “hey, (Y/n)?”
“Yes?” you answered, your voice dripping with honey.
“I don't think Severus likes you being under this spell,” Rosier said, “but you like it don't you?”
“Mmm hmm,” you nodded, your head feeling like it was floating, “it feels so nice.”
“You know what else would feel nice?” Rosier goaded, “if you gave our friend Sev here a kiss.”
Severus' heart dropped to his stomach.
“You're sick, Rosier,” Snape said, his voice close to tremmoring.
“You don't have to act like you don't want it,” Evan chuckled, “we've watched you putz around (L/n) like a fool for years. Besides, they want to. Isn't that right, (Y/n)?”
“He's right,” you said, your voice deceptively melodic, “I love you, Severus. I've always loved you.”
And in that moment, Snape had never hated himself more. Because he didn't care that Rosier was making you say the things you did. He didn't care that you were under the influence of a curse. All he could hear was the words he longed to hear spill from your lips, over and over like a skipping record.
I love you, Severus. I love you, Severus. I love you, Severus.
He played the words on repeat in his head. His heart was beating almost painfully in his chest, so much so that he hardly even noticed you slowly walking towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck like Lily had done to James. And when you leaned forward to kiss him, his selfish desires held him in place.
It had lasted a fraction of a second, but he didn't pull away. It was the greatest regret of his life that he didn't walk up to Rosier, break his nose, and curse every single person in that clearing instead of doing nothing, knowing full well you had no control over your actions.
When his eyes drifted open and met yours and his stomach twisted into ugly knots, fear and panic wracking through his spine. Your eyes were completely empty, irises a vacant white, and in that moment it felt as if he were kissing a corpse.
Suddenly the color returned to your eyes, and fear immediately filled them. Snape grunted as he was shot away from you, unable to move when he hit the ground. The other Slytherins looked around for the assailant, but they had no time to react when every single one of their wands was pulled from their hands. McGonagall stood there, expression the same as ever but clearly brimming with fury.
“(L/n), come,” she said, ushering you over and taking you protectively in her embrace, “we'll get you to Madame Pomfrey.” Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she regarded Snape and the rest of their group, “As for you,” she said, “Mr Filch, secure them in the dungeons until the Headmaster calls for them. And put all of their wands in the lockbox.”
“With pleasure,” Filch said, almost blending in with the trees behind her.
“Are you alright?” McGonagall asked you as she helped you back towards the castle.
“No,” you said, honestly, “n-no, I don't think I am.”
“No amount of apology could ever equate to the remorse I feel that this happened to you, (L/n),” she said earnestly, “I am truly sorry. This was completely unacceptable, and I will see to it that the proper measures are taken for their punishments. Expulsion would suit just fine, but even if the Headmaster disagrees, I will personally ensure you never come into contact with any of those boys again.”
“Thank you,” you said, your voice sounding hollow in your own ears.
You didn't remember walking the near half-mile to the infirmary. Madame Pomfrey's words felt so far away, as if she were speaking underwater. You just remembered laying down in the hospital wing bed as she checked you for any lasting damage, and as soon as she'd turned her back you'd just wept.
________________________________________________________
That night, Snape found himself in the Prefect's bathroom, leaned over the sink and watching the water rush into the drain. His hands clutched the marble sides of the basin so hard his knuckles turned white, every breath catching painfully in his chest before he forced it out to take another shaky inhale. He was an idiot, he knew. There was no fixing this. Not really. First Lily, now you. Was he just predestined to lose everyone in his life?
He paused. No, he didn't deserve to think like that. Everything that had gone wrong was his own doing.
When he heard the door to the bathroom open he whipped around, ready to curse whoever dared to interrupt him until he saw you standing there, your eyes red from crying and the Marauder's Map clutched in your hands like a vice. He was half certain you were a hallucination, but as soon as he pulled himself to the present, he rushed to apologize. You had to know how horrible he felt about what he did, even if you would never forgive him. He made the mistake of being too cowardly to properly apologize to Lily, he wouldn't make that mistake again.
“(Y/n), I'm—”
“I know you're sorry,” you said callously, “and I know you mean it. That's not the issue.” you took a breath to collect yourself before you continued. This was so much harder than you thought it would be. Maybe this wound really was too fresh right now. You thought you'd be able to handle this conversation, but your prior feelings weren't making this any easier.
“Why did you do it?” you asked quietly, “Better, why did you do nothing? You were my friend, Severus.”
Whatever was holding back the flood of emotions in him, it snapped at your words.
Were. Past tense.
“I don't know what I was thinking,” Snape said in exasperation, though it came off more as anger directed at himself. His hands threaded through his messy black locks, his eyes nearly manic. You'd never seen him unravel quite like this. He was desperate to fix this, to keep you in his life. “No, I wasn't thinking at all, (Y/n). I couldn't, not when you were . . . not when I. . .”
Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it—
“Not when I've fancied you for years.”
Snape knew immediately that he had made a mistake. The expression on your face made his stomach twist, and he knew there was no taking back what he said.
“No,” you said, tears welling in your eyes, “Severus Snape, don't you dare say that. What, do you think that just makes this all okay? You're an oblivious idiot, you know that?”
Your heart ached so bad it felt as if you couldn't breathe.
“Do you know how many times I wished you would have kissed me?” you said shakily, not bothering to hide the hurt in your voice.
Snape was sure his breathing had stopped, eyes wide with shock. He couldn't have heard that right. Did you really feel the same way about him? But reality hit him in the face when he saw your expression. This was no heartfelt confession on your part.
“For you to just. . . for it to happen like that,” you said, still struck with betrayal and disbelief, “If you've ever respected me, you never would have let that happen. I was under a curse, Severus. And you took advantage of that— of me. All because you were too much of a coward to just tell me how you felt. And then you go on and say you've liked me this whole time as a last ditch effort to save our friendship? How the hell did you expect me to react?”
He had nothing to say to that. He blamed himself entirely. Every verbal blow you struck he gladly took, he would have sat there still as stone if you hexed him, but you refused to draw your wand at him. You just stood there, staring straight through him with unbelievable hurt in your eyes.
“I can't do this, Severus,” you said, “please, just. . . just leave me alone. I'm not saying I'll never forgive you, but right now I can't even begin to think about that. Not now.”
You looked like you wanted to say something more, but your mouth snapped shut, and Severus saw the finality in your eyes. He stayed glued to the spot where he stood long after he watched you leave, his eyes trained on the door you'd slammed shut.
If you thought Snape had made himself scarce after what he said to Lily, after what he did to you he practically vanished. He no longer sat underneath the tree that had become so symbolic of your former trio. He no longer roamed the Slytherin common room, or even the Great Hall for meals. Instead he would walk through the forbidden forest alone, or hole up in some empty corridor purposely hiding but hoping you would walk up to him. You never did.
The people who did find him in the few days that followed were the newly named Marauders, though incomplete as they arrived without you. As he glanced down at the parchment in Lupin's hand he had no questions about how they'd located him. Snape grimaced, not bothering to get up from his seat beneath the stone pillar. Anything they did to him was what he deserved.
James stepped forward from the group first. His expression was unreadable, but Snape saw the way his jaw was set firmly in place, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. The Slytherin had expected Potter to come at him guns blazing, sending a flurry of verbal attacks and hexes his way. However, James Potter simply stared down at his former enemy with a look that met in the intersection of barely contained anger and utter disappointment.
“You didn't deserve them,” he said coldly, his voice oddly level.
“I know,” Snape glared, but not feeling very self-righteous.
“No, you don't,” James said, his voice rising steadily, “you will never know what you put them through. You sat there while your lunatic friends used an Unforgivable Curse on them, and you took advantage of them. I don't care if you know, I'm going to throw it back in your face, because it's what you deserve.”
“I think it's clear that (Y/n) doesn't wish to speak with you any longer,” Remus said, “if for some inconceivable reason they want to in the future, they'll approach you. Don't you even think about going about it the other way around before they're ready and willing to talk. If they ever are.”
“It's settled, Severus,” James said simply, “you're officially not worth our time anymore.”
Snape blinked up at him, trying to recall a time when Potter had ever called him by his actual name.
“Don't get us wrong,” Sirius glared, “the only reason we aren't throwing you to the Womping Willow is because we know the last thing (Y/n) would want is her friends getting expelled because of them.”
“We'll leave you alone now,” Peter said grimly, “just like you've always wanted.”
And they were telling the truth. They left him completely alone, not speaking a word to him after that; 'they' now including you and Lily, which destroyed him more than any amount of bullying had before. He watched from afar as you grew closer and closer to the Marauders. . . no, you were a Marauder. It was only natural that you became almost like a family in your seventh year. You, James, Peter, Sirius, Remus, and Lily had become as inseparable as Snape thought you, him, and Lily were, but he'd ruined that. He had ruined every good thing that had ever happened to him and pushed away every important person in his life.
The last time he saw you was graduation day. Everyone was running around excitedly, dressed in the ceremonial jewel-toned robes of their respective houses as they awaited Dumbledore's speech. You had been sitting with your group as usual, now having carved out your own spot at the Gryffindor table, when you noticed that Snape was nowhere to be found.
You frowned, wondering why he of all people had to slip into your mind on a day like today.
“You alright, Fangs?”
Sirius' voice snapped you out of your thoughts.
“Yeah, I'm fine. . .”
His handsome features contorted in concern, but that easy grin slid back onto his face as he nudged you with his shoulder.
“What, you worried you're gonna miss us?” he smirked, “this isn't goodbye, you know. We'll all see each other at the Order meetings—”
“Which you always seem to talk about at an extraordinary volume,” Remus shushed him pointedly. Sirius brushed him off with a roll of his eyes.
“(Y/n), are you sure nothing's wrong?” James asked from across the table.
“I'm alright, Prongs,” you said, “I just. . . you know what? I just remembered I left something in my dorm, I'll be right back.”
Your friends exchanged worried glances as you got up from the table, taking off towards the Slytherin common room. It wasn't a total lie, but your intentions went against your better judgment. After today there was a very, very good chance you would never see Severus again. What he did wasn't okay by any means, and it would take more than an apology or a simple conversation to forgive him, but you needed closure at the very least. Not for him, but for you. You deserved that much.
You swiped the map off your bedside table and opened it fully, your eyes quickly picking out Severus' name near the cellars only a few rooms away from where you were. You took off quickly down the hall, reaching the intersection where all the dungeon's corridors converged when you spotted him. Your heart stopped.
His left sleeve was rolled up to his elbow, as was the person's standing across from him, their back to you. Even though you couldn't see the second person's face, you recognized who it was immediately.
Evan Rosier.
He wasn't on the map before. . . how had he gotten in?! He'd been expelled after the day he cursed you. Did he somehow find a way to bypass the anti-apparition charm?
You felt your breathing hitch, fear creeping under your skin. There, on both of their arms, was a tattoo of a skull, a serpent weaving its way through the mouth and eye sockets in an undeniable pattern. You stopped breathing all together. You knew Severus had fallen into the dark arts, but to actually be a death eater? To be proudly showing off that awful display of radicalism along with the person who had used an Unforgivable Curse on you, who had invaded your free will and taken over your body. . .
Severus must have felt you even from the opposite side of the hallway, because something pricking at his skin told him to look up, and when he did he wished he never had. You were looking at him for the first time in over a year, your eyes full of terror. Rosier followed his gaze, but when he looked over his shoulder there was no one there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Severus sighed, trying to push the less than pleasant memories out of his head. He knew by now he was likely the last person left in the house besides you, Harry, and Sirius who were all staying here. Something like hope had sparked in his chest when he saw the faintest ghost of a smile on your lips as you saw him for the first time since graduation. He wanted to talk to you, to tell you he knew he deserved nothing from you, but he would spend the rest of his life trying to make it right if you would only give him a chance after all this time. In truth, he missed his friend. With Lily gone, you were one of the closest things he had to that left.
Against his better judgment, Severus made his way up the stairs, silent as a thestral as he headed for your room, but he stopped in his tracks when he reached the top. Sirius' door was cracked open the slightest bit, and what Snape saw inside made his blood run cold. You were sitting next to Sirius on his bed, your head resting gently on his shoulder. As you craned your neck to look Sirius in the eyes, that's when Severus saw it— the way the Marauder looked at you. The way his face seemed to light up, the spark that returned to his gray eyes, the utter adoration in them.
And just like that, Snape was a seventeen year old boy again, transported right back to that courtyard garden, watching Lily and James share their first kiss on the day he had made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. His heart shattered silently, though his departure was not so quiet as he took off down the stairs as quickly as he could. He grimaced at his own feelings, ones he knew he had no business owning.
As he was about to open the front door to leave, his instincts suddenly screamed at him to turn around, and he was just barely able to cast an invisibility charm as you began to come down the stairs. He held his breath as he looked at you. He knew he had no right to think so, but you were still beautiful like this; dressed in pajamas, hair disheveled, eyes still sightly puffy and red. He saw you look around, knowing you had no doubt heard his rather noisy descent of the staircase, and he cursed himself for not leaving sooner. Your eyes searched what should have appeared to be the empty space in front of you, but he saw you look him in the eyes, and he knew that you knew.
“Severus?” you called his name out softly, and the sound felt like a strike to his face.
He wanted nothing more than to say something to you, talk to you, hold you. But his mind flashed back to the way you had been with Sirius, and his words died in his throat. He said nothing, trying to remain unphased at your hurt expression as you turned around to walk back up the stairs. As soon as your back was turned to him, he left, unable to bring himself to do anything more.
Once again, he was too late.
Read chapter 8 here!
Taglist: @sleep-i-ness, @blackpinkdolan, @parker-natasha, @ornella0910 @undertaker1827 @thatwierdo-koemi @nxstalgicnxbxdy @calaryssia @aleksanderwh0r3 @juggysgirlfriend @beautifulsweetschaos @kattirin @mialupin1 @crazy-obsessed-fangirl, @youcantbesirius
#Harry Potter#the marauders#marauders x reader#sirius black x reader#severus snape x reader#harry potter x reader#remus lupin x reader#james potter x reader#regulus black x reader#marauders fanfiction#marauders era#james potter#sirius black#severus snape#post azkaban sirius#remus lupin#remus lupin x you#regulus black#snape x reader#snape x y/n#reader insert#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter reader insert#marauders x you#marauders x y/n#multi chapter#love triangle#non linear narrative#marauders reader insert
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I have a request. :) What if coops were watching a scary movie together and Sirius is getting actually scared so he is just trying not to watch and cuddle into Remus instead. But he is too embarrassed to ask Remus to turn it off so he just tries to suffer through it. You can decide if you want Remus to notice and turn it off and comfort him or not. Thank you for all of your amazing writing!
This is such a cute ask, and lots of fun to write! Thanks for suggesting it <3 Coops credit goes to @lumosinlove, but Hattie is mine!
TW for mentioned blood and gore (in the movie) and general fear
“That’s a lot of blood,” Remus remarked.
Personally, Sirius thought that was a bit of an understatement considering the gorefest happening on the screen, but he had been terrified into silence twenty minutes before and simply nodded in response.
The shrieking, wailing, and rending of various body parts continued. Hattie whined and buried her nose further into the small of his back. Smart girl, Sirius thought, cuddling just slightly closer to Remus’ side. The horror movie had been a last-minute, pick something or we’ll both be frustrated decision—now, an hour into the worst television experience of his life, he regretted every choice he had made that led them to this spot.
He turned to place a kiss just below Remus’ ear. If it also served to hide his face from the literal demonic entity that just popped out of nowhere…well, that was nobody’s business but his own. “Hey, I’m kinda tired,” he mumbled, though every nerve was alight with fear and he wasn’t sure his eyelids would ever shut again.
“Oh?” Remus kept his gaze on the screen. I love you, but you confuse and terrify me.
“Mhmm. How much is left?”
Remus picked up the remote; half a second before he paused, one of the lead characters got fucking stabbed in the back by something that had not been there mere moments earlier. Sirius jolted, stifling a shout of surprise. Remus remained absolutely still. “Whew, that was a good one,” he said mildly as Sirius struggled to regain control of his stuttering heartbeat. “Just under fifty minutes left.”
Why am I doing this? Sirius wondered internally. I have nothing to prove.
“The effects are pretty impressive, huh?”
Sirius hummed vague assent.
“No CGI or anything. Pretty cool.”
“No, yeah, definitely.”
Bones weren’t supposed to do that. Kids certainly weren’t supposed to bend like that. Sirius’ mouth was drier than desert sand and he gave up on dignity, squishing himself as close as possible under the safe haven of Remus’ arm. “The, uh—” Remus was interrupted by a blood-curdling scream that froze Sirius from the inside out. He cleared his throat. “The—I heard the director has been trying to make this for ages. It was in the newspaper last week and everything.”
“Was it?” Sirius’ voice sounded weak even to his own ears.
“Uh-huh.” Please keep talking, please keep talking, please keep talking. “Sorry, I’m probably ruining this for you.”
“No, you’re all good.” You are the only thing keeping me from crawling under the blankets with the dog.
They lapsed back into silence and Sirius squeezed his eyes shut as what was left of the main group turned their backs to the basement. The creepy-ass door was going to open—yep, there’s the creak—and then they were going to go down the rickety staircase, and then everyone was either going to die or be traumatized for life. No matter how formulaic it was, Sirius still felt ice trickle down his spine.
The next forty-five minutes passed at a glacial pace. More blood than Sirius could have imagined spattered the set, and he had stopped trying to follow the plot entirely so he could zone out instead. “Ready for bed?” Remus asked as the credits rolled, sounding entirely unfazed. Hattie crawled into their laps with a soft snuffle. “Oh, lovey, were you scared?”
Yes. “Poor thing,” Sirius cooed with as much control as he could muster, lifting her up to hide his shaky arms. Remus ducked into the kitchen to put away the popcorn bowl; as soon as he was out of earshot, Sirius leaned down and kissed her forehead. “You and me both, ma petite. You’re sleeping on the bed with us tonight.”
“What?” Remus called from the kitchen.
“Oh, nothing.” He set Hattie down. “I’ll be upstairs when you’re done.”
Sirius made it to the base of the staircase, then paused. The hallway at the top was dark; fear prickled the back of his neck. There’s no such thing as demons, he told himself, grabbing the bannister. His palms were sweating. Nothing to be afraid of. “Honey?”
“Merde!” he yelped, letting go as if it had burned him.
Remus gave him a look of alarm. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just—” He flailed a hand around, pulse pounding in his throat. “Just thought I saw a spider. Startled me.”
“…alright.”
He turned the lights on as soon as they reached the landing. Sirius had never been so grateful for the power of modern electricity. The hall was just as they had left it, looking ridiculously normal and unthreatening—embarrassment reddened his cheeks as he changed into his pajamas. Scared of your own house? Really?
Well, that wasn’t quite true—he wasn’t scared of the house itself, just the murderous entities that may or may not be living in the dryer vents. That was all.
He was feeling better until Remus turned the lights off and slipped into bed beside him, leaning over for a ‘goodnight’ kiss. “Sleep well, baby,” he said, resting his temple on Sirius’ shoulder.
“Love you.”
The trees swaying outside looked like long, bony fingers; if he concentrated, he could hear low weeping in the wind. Sirius felt an irrational fear rise when he tried to close his eyes and focus on Remus’ slow breaths—what if he woke up and there was something in the doorway? What if he had nightmares? What if his fear wasn’t irrational at all, and there was an omen he was missing—
“Sirius?”
“Yeah?” he whispered back.
Remus hesitated, then exhaled through his nose. “Can we turn the light on?”
“Oh, thank fuck,” Sirius said around a sigh of relief. “Yes. Also, please never suggest a horror movie ever again.”
“I hate them,” Remus confessed as they sat up. “I saw a commercial for The Conjuring in seventh grade and had nightmares for two full months.”
“Why did you recommend it?”
“I thought you liked them!”
“I was about to hide under the couch!” Sirius laughed, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “Mon dieu, that was the w—holy shit!”
The fuzzy thing under his foot made a high-pitched noise and moved; Sirius scrambled back with a strangled shout, nearly toppling them both over the other side. Remus clung to him as they both shrieked in sheer panic until the only sound was their heavy breathing. The shadow by the edge of the bed shifted again, then whined.
Sirius groaned, releasing his death grip. “Really, Hat Trick?”
“You’re kidding.”
“Viens ici.” He patted the side of the bed and the blob of inky black hopped up, then settled at the foot of the bed with an indignant huff. “Did I step on you?”
Hattie grumbled and stretched her long body across the mattress. Remus turned the bedside lamp on, pinching the bridge of his nose as he shook his head. “Well, that was mortifying.”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep, but I don’t really want to go back downstairs.”
Remus laid on his back and held out his arms. “Cuddles?”
“You read my mind.”
They snuggled up to each other as tight as they could, leaving only a sliver of space between their bodies as Hattie warmed their feet. Sirius kissed the top of Remus’ head once before closing his eyes once more; they laid in silence for a moment longer, then let out twin sighs as he pulled the covers all the way up to their necks to create a cocoon of warmth and safety. The soft glow of the lamp chased away the shadows, and within a few minutes he fell into a dreamless sleep.
#fanfic#my fic#sirius black#remus lupin#lumosinlove#sweater weather#coops#wolfstar#scary movie#horror#hattie
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Congrats on 100 followers! Please can I request older!Sirius, who - while laying low in Grimmauld Place - asks Remus to find the love of his life, who’s hidden herself away from the wizarding world when he went to Azkaban. He brings her back to Sirius for a sweet reunion. Thank you!
A/N: Thank you dear! I really liked that request but i took me little bit long, sorry for that. Hope you will like it😽🌹
Characters: Post Azkaban!Sirius Black x fiancée!reader
Theme: angst, fluff
Lost Love
“I need her, Remus…” Sirius mumbled as he looked through the old photo albums in Grimmauld Place. Seeing your photos together from Hogwarts years were painful enough but the one album from your engagement was unbearable for him. He finished up his wine and stared at Remus with teary eyes. “Can we find her?”
“You know you cannot leave the house, Padfoot. But I will try my best, I will ask some people and we will see if someone knows anything about Y/N.” Remus patted his best friend’s shoulder reassuringly.
13 years ago from now on, everything was way different how it was now. Sirius and you, high school sweethearts have engaged and thrown a small party with close friends and family members. It was exactly how you have imagined it; coastal theme party by the beach in spring. The freshly bloomed flowers’ and the salty sea’s scents were mixed together and created the most peaceful vibe with the sounds of the waves and the happy songs of the birds.
After the engagement, the couple bought a small house in Cornwall by the sea and completed your small family with a Cocker Spaniel puppy. Everything was going so good for you two even a war was on its way. You have not joined the Order of the Phoenix due to your parents’ jobs in Ministry of Magic, you didn’t want to draw any more attention to them since this upcoming war was causing enough stress and danger for them. Sirius was on the other hand; he has joined the Order and fully working to save the wizarding world. James and Lily Potter has become the main targets of You-Know-Who after they had their baby boy Harry. This had a tool on both Sirius and you since they were your best friends and you two were Harry’s godparents, you must have saved them all from the war and You-Know-Who.
But things have gone downhill terribly on October 31. You and Sirius have attended a Halloween party and you were having fun, relieving stress. Sirius has left to renew your drinks while you were dancing with your friends but he has never came back. You have waited for 15 minutes but getting drinks shouldn’t have been that hard so you started to look around for him but he was nowhere to be seen. You were annoyed but decided to wait little bit more; maybe he felt sick and he was throwing up in the loo, you thought. It has been 20 more minutes and Sirius was still lost, you couldn’t believe the fact that he literally left you here without saying anything. You were extremely annoyed with him and excused yourself then went to your shared home, hoping he would be there. Even at home, there was no signs of Sirius. You had no idea what happened or if you accidently hurt him in some way but nothing came to your mind. You waited him until you have fallen asleep on the sofa by the fireplace. In the morning you woke up to loud knocks on your house’s door, you jumped up from where you were sleeping and ran to the door.
“Sirius!?” Your expression quickly changed when you noticed it wasn’t Sirius but 2 formal dressed men.
“Miss Y/L/N?” one of them asked.
You just nodded while an eerie feeling started to grow in you, you could tell something was wrong by their faces. Did something happen to Sirius? You thought to yourself but afraid to ask and hear their answer. But you didn’t have to wait for any longer because they started to talk after making sure they found the right person.
“We are sent by the Minister of Magic to inform you about Lily and James Potter’ and Peter Pettigrew’s murders.”
“What…?” This was the only word you could say, you felt a coldness run through your body. Before you could collect yourself from the information you just heard, the other man continued.
“Sirius Black is sent to Azkaban for murdering Peter Pettigrew and 12 muggles.”
You collapsed on the ground; you didn’t hear anything they said anymore. Everything was blurry, you thought you were having a nightmare but feeling of the cold wind and rain on your skin were real enough. You didn’t know how long you stayed on the ground or when the men left. The thoughts were running through your mind like crazy, you couldn’t think of a reason why Sirius would kill one of his best friends, Peter yet alone 12 muggles. Everything was normal yesterday, you have had a calm day then gone to the party that your friend threw to celebrate Halloween. Even in the party Sirius seemed normal until suddenly he got lost. You had no idea what has gotten into Sirius after that, how could Sirius kill someone; you couldn’t wrap your head around that at all.
It has been one week since you found about the incidents and it was the worst week of your whole life. You have given a decision; you gave Rocky, your dog to your parents and said your farewells to them before abandoning everything. You couldn’t live in your shared house anymore, every bit of it reminded you of Sirius, beside that the country started to suffocate you as well; everyday you were hearing or seeing news about your fiancé and people were talking shit about him nonstop. Even some people who knew your relationship with him were attacking you with their bloody words. You couldn’t take it anymore and moved to a small island in Turkey. You didn’t know anyone here, you didn’t know the language, it would be a total isolation for you and that was what you wanted and needed. After a while you got used to the country and started your own job there. You were a decent artist and you started to sell your artwork in the island, the tourists were very interested in them and you made enough money to live. You have bought a small cottage and a bird to company you, time has started to heal you slowly but steadily.
You were working on a sculpture while listening to slow music, this was your new hobby for a while now. Your peaceful night cut by a loud knock on your door, unexpected knocks became one of your phobias since the incident. Every time you felt the same cold feeling run through your body at the sound of it, you slowly stood up from your chair and walked to the door. It was almost midnight and you weren’t expecting anyone at all, also it was February so the island was nearly empty. You had no idea who this person could be and you must admitted to yourself, you were scared. You held your wand tightly behind you and crack opened the wooden door. It was dark outside and you couldn’t see the person’s face at all.
“Who is this?” you asked sternly.
“Y/N? Is that you…?” the man questioned softly.
Your eyes widened when you heard the voice, how could you forget your best friend’s voice even after all these years. “Remus!?”
You pushed the door open, and soon you and Remus were hugging longingly. You invited him in since it was cold outside, now you were sitting on the small sofa on your living room.
“How did you find me?” you were wondering that from the very beginning.
“Let’s say I have my sources.” Remus chuckled looking at you. “It has been a long time but you look great Y/N.”
“Thank you Moony, same goes for you too.”
“You are just being kind.” Remus smiled but his expression got serious in the next second. “Y/N, you should come back to London with me.”
“Di- did something happen to my parents…? Is this why you came here that late?”
“No no, it is not like that. But this is important too.”
“Remus can you please tell me what’s going on!?”
Remus sighed and looked into your eyes. “I cannot tell you, it might be dangerous but you must come. Even for a day, if you don’t want to stay you can come back here. But please, you will regret if you don’t come with me.”
You were confused, you had no idea about what’s going on and Remus wasn’t a good help neither. It has been 12 years and no one ever came to find you and now middle of the night Remus was here all of a sudden and wanted you to go back to London with him.
“I don’t know Remus, don’t you think this is a little bit weird?”
“It is, I am aware of that but try to understand me. I wouldn’t be coming all the way to Turkey middle of the night, if this is not very important. Please, I beg you Y/N.”
You thought for a while, Remus seemed genuine with his words even you still weren’t sure about the whole situation but you accepted it. After you said you accepted, Remus immediately walked you out to use the portkey. You didn’t have any time to get prepared; you were in your pyjamas at your home and seconds later you were in a dark corner in London with Remus. You shivered as the cold England weather hit you, Remus was walking you to a street soon you two were standing in front of the Grimmauld Place. You knew this house very well but you had no idea why Remus brought you here. Before you could ask anything, he rushed you to the house. You little bit relaxed at the warmness of the house but yet again you were pulled by the hand and Remus walked you to the living room.
“Here you go! I am leaving you alone, thank me later!” Remus grinned and walked out of the house.
You froze in your place when your eyes met with the curly haired man who was standing in the opposite side of the room. He wasn’t any different than you, he couldn’t move or couldn’t talk, just stayed there with teary eyes and looked at you. You weren’t sure if you were dreaming or this is really happening right now. You have thought you would never see Sirius ever again in your life but there he was or was he?
“Y/N, my love…” Sirius ran to you after his shock washed off. He pulled you in a tight hug when you started to sob uncontrollably. You held onto him so tightly that your knuckles turned into white. You and Sirius stayed like this for a while and cried your eyes out. Your whole body was shaking because of the extreme emotions you were going through right now, Sirius made you sit on the nearest sofa and sat beside you, still holding you tightly. Sometime later you felt little bit better and for the first time in 12 years you looked into his silver eyes. Now they had wrinkles around them and weren’t shining with the mischievousness as they did before but they still had the love in them that he held for you. You cupped his cheeks lovingly.
“Are you real? “ You whispered.
“I am very much real, darling. Want me to pinch you?” Sirius let out a chuckle, his thumb was drawing circles on your knee.
“Sirius...” You sighed his name before pressing your lips into his, he immediately returned the kiss. The kiss was full of little bit of everything; longing, love, excitement, lust…
You pulled away breathless, apparently you two needed some practice about it. The sheepish smile on your face made Sirius laugh as he pulled you into his embrace once more. You looked up at him grinning.
“Remember you owe me a drink, literally for 12 years. Now bring couple of wine bottles here, we have so many things to talk about my beloved fiancé!”
#harry potter#fanfic#sirius black#harry potter fanfiction#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black fluff#sirius black angst#sirius black x you#sirius black x reader#sirius black x y/n#post azkaban#sirius black drabble#sirius black imagine#remus lupin#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#marauders#fanfiction#fanfic request#requests#fanfiction requests#mrs.severussnape#mrsseverussnapefanfic
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Riddle Me This - James Potter x Reader
Pairing : James Potter x reader
Genre : Angst
Warnings : Mentions of injuries, reader-inflicted torture, hair pulling, reader-inflicted injuries, mentions of death.
Word count : 5,298
~~~~~
It’s hard being the daughter of the Darkest wizard of all time, of the one they all fear, of Lord Voldemort. Harder than you can imagine.
Because there’s always expectations, and opinions. Expectations have of you, and opinions people have about you. And it’s not good for your own self-esteem when you know that you will never be able to be all that they want you to be. And by ‘they’, I mean my father.
See, contrary to popular belief, Lord Voldemort is capable of caring. Yes, he can never love, and neither can I, but we can care. And for me, that’s enough. Being conceived under the effects of a love potion, my father was doomed to never be able to love; but that didn’t mean he wasn’t capacitated with sympathizing, empathizing, caring. Yes, he would never in a million years be able to experience the joy of being able to love, of being in love, and neither could I, but that was only for the best.
That was one lesson, along with several others, that had been taught to me from the start by my father, and his followers. I could never, ever, ever love. And I should never want to. Because love is for the weak, love is for inferiors. Love itself is weak, and all it does is make bounds for you.
And thus far, I had been successful. I didn’t want love; I didn’t need it. I was capable enough as it is.
Another lesson I’d been taught, was being ambitious, having ambitions. Striving to be the best, being the best, and reveling in the satisfaction of winning, it was a value instilled in me from quite a young age.
And ambitious I was. I reveled in the satisfaction of proving myself right and others wrong; I basked in the glorious feeling of victory, of exceeding expectations.
Being homeschooled since a young age, and that too, with the occasional inputs of the Dark Lord himself, I was a trained witch, and a good one at that. Having Death Eaters as competition, and the constant expectations of being better than each of them, it wasn’t an exaggeration when I say, you do not wish to cross me. I usually came out triumphant in duels, all except when I was ill, or exerted, or when me and father dueled. He was the obvious champion.
But then came along Bellatrix LeStrange. The female, who previously belonged to the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, was related to two blood traitors. One was her sister who, despite having such a rich and reputed heritage, eloped with a Hufflepuff. A Hufflepuff. The other was her first cousin, Sirius Black. And in the latter’s case, what surprised me wasn’t the fact that the boy had managed to escape and betray the Blacks, no. It was the fact that he had escaped Walburga Black. The woman was a tyrant, a hurricane, with a pitch high enough to rupture your ears, and fury blinding enough to make you cower back in fear.
I aren’t going to lie, I had severely underestimated the woman. Bellatrix, she was deranged, she was unhinged. Her eyes were maddening and crazy, and her skills beyond average. Her ruthlessness and un-sympathizing nature was what made her all the more an even terrible foe to have. She reveled in screams, hearing people scream and cry and writhe and shout in anguish pleasured her. She wasn’t sick. That made it sound like what she had, had a cure; when in truth, she was insane, off her rocker, and so, so dangerous.
So, as you might have understood, I lost in the duel against Bellatrix. And I had lost bad. Father had refused to speak to me for 6 straight weeks after that, he had been so disappointed. And it hurt me, because all he had ever asked of me to be the best, to strive for perfection, to outdo even the greatest of rivals. And I had failed him that day.
So when father asked me to go attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, for the sole purpose of being able to keep an eye on Dumbledore, I had packed my bags without a sound of protest, as much as I dreaded going to the school. I wasn’t thick, I understood the fact that father could have very easily asked any one of his Death Eaters to-be to spy on Dumbledore; he had given me a chance. Something that he didn’t give everyone, and I was grateful.
. . . . .
I hated this place. Students swarming everywhere, so much noise, so many people, it was unbearable. I’d always been one to find solace in loneliness; this place was the exact opposite. I couldn’t fathom how you were meant to actually study in Hogwarts; sounds and voices and whispers and chatters were unescapable, anywhere and everywhere you went. Even the classrooms and the library weren’t spared – the former and latter, both, due to the courtesy of the Marauders.
Oh, the Marauders. They were a whole entire issue separately. A group of rambunctious, untamable, and obnoxious boys, and that too all Gryffindor, whose sole purpose was to create chaos and play pranks, and who went by the name, ‘The Marauders.’ A marauder, typically, means a person who roams around, looking to steal. Sweet Salazar, why would you decide to call yourselves that? And then be proud of it?
The group consisted of four ‘pupils’, if you could even call them that (they were just troublemakers, in my opinion), namely Remus Lupin, the only tolerable one, Peter Pettigrew, the rat-like one, Sirius Black, the blood traitor by choice, and James Potter, blood traitor by family. How very nice.
Now, me, being the live and let live sort of person that I am, didn’t care too much about those four, as long as they kept their noses out of my business. They didn’t. They were all overly curious about my background, my family, why I joined mid-year, et cetera, et cetera. Their curiosity was low-key harassment, in all truth. Merlin, leave me alone. But no, those blood traitors and half-breeds all wanted to invade my privacy, annoy me, make my life hell. So, I returned the favors.
See, father had sent Nagini along, just for a piece of home to be with me. And my snake not only spied on them and contributed in the ‘Trouble the marauders’ project in the day, she contributed during the night as well. And so, I’d ended up here, in an abandoned classroom after curfew, wand pointed at the Marauders after a particularly irritating day.
We Slytherins, every Wednesday morning, shared double potions with the Gryffindors. And as if that wasn’t torturous enough already, Slughorn had fixed seats, because “Some students have been disrupting the decorum of the classroom,” and so now I was seated beside Lily Evans, a “particularly bright muggleborn witch,” as Slughorn said. She was just a pathetic know-it-all, and a mudblood to top it off, in my opinion. The girl was sickeningly sweet, and was all chirpy-chirp when I had been assigned as her partner. She was ecstatic, probably to meet a new person. I was disgusted, probably to meet a new person.
And above that, Pettigrew and Black sat behind us, Lupin and a Slytherin named Severus Snape on a bench on my right, and in the front was Potter, sitting alone. And I know, I know, it seems exaggerated because a real life situation possibly cannot be this bad, but it’s true, trust me. Potter was reciting cheesy pickup lines to the Mudblood, all while she grew angrier, his friends suppressed their laughter, Snape turned green from envy, and I refrained from
committing bloody murder.
“Hey Evans, why don’t you play Quidditch, you look to be a keeper.”
“Shut up, Potter.”
“Oi Evans, are you a dement-“
“-Sod off-“
“-Or, because I’d die if you kissed me.”
“You don’t die after a dementor’s kiss, Potter, your soul gets sucked.”
“Evans, we may not be-“
“-Godric, no-“
“-In Flitwick’s class, but you sure-“
“-Are a charmer? Potter, you’ve used this.”
“Did you use the stupefy charm, Evans-“
“-Potter, I swear to Morgana I’ll-“
“-Because you sure are a stunner.”
Merlin, this blasphemy was giving me a headache, and making it harder by the second to not kill someone. I was in the process of stirring the cauldron, and Evans was just adding a bit of snakeskin, when Potter abruptly turned around and started speaking, and so, out of shock (or it could be because she was mad), Evans dropped the snakeskin too early, and the potion suddenly became a brilliant blue, instead of a mellow violet, and exploded, covering me and mudblood and potter and Black in goo. On top of that, my hand got burned due to the jump I made on Potter’s suddenness.
As the entire class fell silent after the burst, I slowly brought up my right hand, which was shaking, and wiped off the slimy substance off of my face; the slime made splattering noises as it hit the floor. When I finally opened my eyes, my hands still shaking, I was met with a red-faced mudblood, probably with anger, red-faced Pettigrew and Black, probably with suppressed laughs, and a pale faced Potter.
And trust me, I tried so hard to contain the magic threatening to erupt from inside me; I’d bit my lip the hardest I could, clenched my shaking fists, and closed my eyes, hoping against hope that my magic didn’t lose control. No such luck, however.
Potter and friends were suggested to bedrest for 5 days after that.
Of course, they’d tried to escape out of the hospital win the very same night, and unfortunately, right at the moment I was on my way to the Owlery, so that Celine, my eagle owl, could deliver the letter to father. I was on the fifth floor corridor in the west wing of the castle, when those troublesome Marauders an into me. Literally, straight into me, for they had an invisibility cloak draped around them. How they had managed to escape the nurse even with the cloak was a mystery to me, because there were constant hisses and whispers and mutters coming from the direction in which, occasionally, a pair of feet came into view.
As I bumped into them, their cloak fell off, and I swiftly picked up the letter of mine that had dropped to the floor. “What are you idiots doing here, in the middle of the night?” I asked, brow raised.
They looked stricken for a moment, then sounded Lupin’s voice. “We could ask you the same question,” the scar-faced boy said, still a tad out of breath.
“Yeah, Riddle, what are you doing out here?” Black enquired further.
“That is none of your business, blood traitor,” I said, my tone sharp, eyes cold. Black looked a bit hurt, Lupin pursed his lips in what seemed to be disappointment, Pettigrew whimpered, and Potter looked angry.
“What, did you say to him?” he asked in a tone that would be menacing for some, but not for me. “I merely reminded your friend of what he is , Potter, what he’s become, what he’ll forever be. A blood traitor,” I said in a calm and cool voice, which seemed to irk the raven-haired boy even more.
“It’s alrig-“ Potter, however, cut his friend’s sentence off midway.
“Don’t call him that, you filthy snake,” he snarled.
“Seem to hit a nerve, have I, Potter?”
“You bloody-!”
“WHO’S THERE?” screeched a scratchy, gravelly voice. Filch.
All five of us gave each other a glance, and the next second, we were inside the nearest room, which just so happened to be an abandoned classroom that was priorly used for History of Magic. We all held our breath, until the steps and meows and purrs and grunts faded off into the distance.
“Now, back to what we were-“
“We weren’t doing anything, Potter. You took the truth a little too to the heart, when even your friend didn’t seem so bothered by it.” Potter was going redder in the face by the second. “Now, if you Gryffindors don’t mind, I should get going. I,” I waved my letter-holding hand, “have a letter to deliver.” Just as I turned around, Potter snatched the letter right from my hand. Oh, Merlin, no.
“Let’s see what we have here, hm?” as Potter said that, even Black’s troubled look evaporated from his face. They were back to their bully nature.
“Yes, Prongs, let’s.”
“No!” all four looked up from the half-torn envelope. “I- don’t open that.”
“Why? Why,” Potter waved the now half-torn envelope in a much similar fashion in which I had, “would I return this? Or not open this?”
“It’s a letter containing… things that I would share with people who’re… close to me,” I said, my stance cautious, manipulative mannerisms in progress. Although it would be hard to talk my way out of this one, and that was considering if I even could.
“Close to you, hm? Well then, it’s even more precious,” Black said this time, both dark-haired boys sharing devilish grins, as their friends behind them looked sheepish, but said nothing.
“Black, Potter, please. Don’t be immature,” I tried to reason, but the boys were having none of it, and tore open the envelope fully, and begun reading the letter aloud. “Dear father, I hope you are doing well. You will be pleased to know that Dumbl-“
“Accio letter!” I exclaimed. The letter didn't come into my hand, Black had anticipated this. The boys, having read and heard part of Dumbledore’s name in my letter, had now shed their teasing demeanor and their eyes furiously roamed the piece of parchment, as Lupin cast a Protego so that I wouldn’t be able to Accio anything again. “-that Dumbledore has been unsuccessful in finding out your location. I hope it will continue to be so, seeing that Malfoy and Avery can’t seem to keep their mouths close in presence of Gryffindors. I am sure you can take care of that.
As for the elder Black boy, chances of him joining your ranks seem to be as good as none, considering his constant company is half-breeds, blood traitors, and mudbloods, and he seems keen on troubling each and every Slytherin; he gets into routinely brawls with LeStrange, Crabbe, Goyle, the likes. His friend, the blood traitor Potter, his mother has caught the Dragon Pox,” Potter’s voice broke, “so it is assured that she will not survive. As for his father, Fleamont Potter, the auror, he seems determined to find the cure and weed out each and every member of your ranks; the man is livid. As for the werewolf, his company is same as Black’s; it is highly unlikely he will join your ranks.
My education here is going as expected, the Professors teach me nothing that I don’t already know.
I hope all the information I have been able to convey in this letter will be efficient for you. As always, Nagini has been an absolute darling.
Yours truly.” Potter finished, looking stricken and sad and livid, all at the same time. His friends all were furious, too.
He, however, was angrier than any of them; the mention of his mother’s name, and the fact that he now knew that father’s followers were the cause of his mother’s ailment, only added fuel to the fire.
Although I hadn’t once mentioned father’s name in the letter, it was clear that these four boys, whom I’d just assumed were naïve teenagers, knew more than they let on. And suddenly, it was clear why they bothered me so much, specifically, why I’d become their main target: these boys knew something fishy was up; something that wasn’t just related to a new transfer student.
With trembling hands, and a quivering lip, Potter looked up, eyes ablaze with fear-inducing fury. “You. It was… you, you were involved with… this, all along,” the boy declared more than asked. “You-!”
“OI! Who’s there?!” a scratchy voice asked, from not very far away. Merlin, Filch. I glanced at the boys, panic settling inside me. I couldn’t afford getting caught in an abandoned classroom with four of the most troublesome people I had ever met. My record, up till this day, had been perfectly clean. No failed tests, no late assignments, no detentions. If I got caught today, there would be a huge, ugly, black spot on my school records, as well as my reputation – because one thing I’d learned at Hogwarts was that news travels fast. Faster than I’d like.
In a panic-stricken haze, I made what was possibly the most impulsive decision in the entirety of my life. I pointed my wand, muttered a spell, snatched the letter, disillusioned myself, and fled the classroom as fast as I could. The letter could wait.
. . . . .
As I sat on the Slytherin table the next day, I chewed on my omelette with well-masked anxiety. If the boys came in, and started pointing fingers and started shooting spells at me, I would most certainly be in trouble, and the public humiliation would come hand-in-hand. However, if they’d decided to tell Dumbledore, then my trouble would be doubled. And if, if, by chance, by Salazar’s most divine blessing, my spell had worked, then I could seek refuge here in the castle for more time.
Lost in my thoughts and the chatter surrounding me, I completely missed on the theatrical but yet, routine and typical, entrance of the Marauders. Their flailing hands, arrogant smirks, loud banter and even louder chatter gained a couple students’ attention, though said students went back to what they were doing almost immediately.
As I looked up, the four Gryffindors appeared and behaved as they usually did – without a care in the world. No visible anxiety, no frown, no scowl, and definitely no pointed fingers. I was relieved, and my short sigh indicated so. Just as I was about to really go back to eating my food, I caught the mischievous eyes of one James Potter, and by the look in his eyes for that split-second, I knew something was definitely wrong.
. . . . .
Salazar, I hadn’t expected things to go this wrong.
See, the spell I’d used on the Marauders that night was a simple ‘Obliviate’, and then a bit of memory-modification; the boys were planning a prank to make everyone drowsy, and while they planned, they started messing about, used the spell on each other, and fell asleep. Simple enough, yes?
No.
In my hurry, I’d done something wrong, I don’t know what, and had made James Potter think that he was infatuated with me. And yes, I know, the odds of someone believing that were pretty not in my favour, but James Potter could be pretty persuasive, and the fact that the male had finally moved on and given up after so much time, was… expected.
But such a drastic change wouldn’t be believed. His first choice was the golden girl of Hogwarts, the redheaded muggleborn genius Gryffindor, the one who had a warm aura radiating off of her, whose emerald eyes were sharp yet so affable; and then there was me, the brooding Slytherin with green tips in her hair, a stare so pointed people would turn away if they were walking in my direction, and a resting bitch face so effective no one, not even purebloods, wanted to talk to me.
But that was just the beginning. The number of unwanted gifts I received was horrendous – roses in black, white, red, Merlin, even green color; poetry so bad it was tragic; pickup lines so bad I swear my ears would start bleeding if I heard more of them; and extravagant confessions of love that were embarrassing beyond comparison.
But I knew it wasn’t love; love can’t be created. Yes, it was infatuation, but it was just that. The effects the messed-up memory-altering spell were quite similar to those of Amortentia, the only difference was that I didn’t intend that.
. . . . .
A month had passed already, and we were all growing nearer to graduation. The workload was crumbling; seventh-years, such as myself, spent their days and nights in the libraries, the gardens, abandoned classrooms, dormitories, anywhere they got, just studying and learning and practicing. And the three essays we were doomed to get each day didn’t help either.
So now, Jam- sorry, Potter’s unwanted public displays of affection only added to my stress. The constant nagging, shouting, pickup lines, rejections – ugh.
I put up with it only until I snapped.
It was two months later, three days until our first exam, History of Magic, when it happened. I was roaming the dungeons, muttering spells under my breath and practicing wand movements, when I heard noise. I immediately knew. And even though if I’d been saner, I’d probably just ignore it and leave those Marauders and their shenanigans alone. But at that time, I was past the point of sanity, and my fingers were itching to do some actual magic – real magic, not the amateur spells this pathetic excuse of a school was teaching me. You would think that learning advanced stuff would make the basic spells and hexes and potions easier; it was quite the opposite. Having learned what first years learn at age four or five, and reaching seventh-year level by twelve, I was so ahead that I’d forgotten the basics.
So I whipped around, wand pointed, the boys’ cloak blowing off by a nonverbal spell, as they all stared at me. Potter spoke up first.
“Hey, Dahlia, how’re you holdi-?”
“Shut up, Potter,” I snapped. Dahlia was short for black dahlia, the name he used for me in his “poetry”.
“Aw, someone’s i-“
“Shut up, Potter!”
“Love, you shouldn’t preten-“
“Shut. Up,” I sneered, taking two quick strides and jabbing my wand at his throat. “I’m not pretending. I don’t have to. I loathe you, you imbecile! Stop bothering me, because I have work to do, and chapters to study, and spells to practice, and write letters to my parents, unlike you, who would much rather just roam around bullying people, and whose mother is on her death bed and father is half-mad, and whose entire family are filthy bloodtraitors!” I was heaving for air at that point, and once oxygen reached my brain and lungs, only then did I really comprehend what I’d said.
The hazel eyes of the boy in front of me had lost their glint, and had suddenly become too dull, even for me. His friends were standing stunned behind him, eyes flitting from my – as I then realized – guilty expression, and his heartbroken one.
It took him a few seconds and shaky breaths, but the Potter boy finally spoke up. “If… i-if what I say and, uh, do, g- gives you such a headache, then I’ll just, um, stop,” he said in a voice that was uncharacteristically quiet. I gulped, uncomfortable due to the pit that seemed to be settled in the bottom of my belly, and gave a stiff, curt nod.
He nodded again, gaze constantly on the floor, and then trotted away, his friends trailing behind him, now giving me angry glares, having come out of their stunned stages.
And although I should have felt relieved, because I somehow knew that Potter wouldn’t be back to his old ways, I instead had a strange tightness blooming in my chest, slightly constricting my breathing. Shaking my head, I went back to the dormitories, because I couldn’t possibly have gone back to sleep then.
. . . . .
Two days until the day all seventh-years would graduate, say goodbye to the castle, probably forever, but instead of feeling sadness or nostalgia or sadness on leaving the castle, I just had that constricting feeling in my chest growing every day, because I didn’t have even one happy memory in the castle.
My letters to father were sent occasionally, because honestly, except recruiting the seventh-year Gryffindors, and one Hufflepuff, to the Order, Dumbledore had done honestly nothing.
Potter had once again slipped back into his old routine, but his eyes never seemed to had that sparkle anymore. He flited with Evans, she flirted back, seemingly suddenly not liking the lack of attention she got when his affections had been aimed towards me, and each time I saw them that way, I would tighten my jaw, and grip my wand, or books, or even the hem of my sweater if I didn’t have anything, a little tighter.
The feeling was so foreign, and I didn’t like it one bit. Perhaps Evans’ case was what I was suffering with; but I had never liked the attention.
So…why?
. . . . .
During autumn 1979, Lily and James Potter had decided to get married, only at the supple age of 18. And I didn’t know why it bothered me, but it did. That’s why I had been the one to plan the attack on the same day as their wedding.
At 4 pm, the Death Eaters all broke in to the Potters’ mansion; an anonymous source had informed us of the location. I was part of the crew that was attacking – so were Bellatrix, the LeStranges, Malfoy, Pucey, Nott, Rosier, Selwyn, Regulus, the Carrows, Dolohov, Greyback, and Snape – we were father’s most ruthless and dangerous pawns, in the midst of the useless ones. Except me and Bellatrix, clad in hooded robes, the rest all wore their masks.
The wards around the Potter mansion had been taken down by someone inside, and so, there were little to no obstacles in our path.
As we all apparated in, it took the guests a hot second to even realize what had happened; once they did, there was a full-on battle.
The first person to attack me was Professor McGonagall, who was, as expected, one heck of an opponent. It was fun, going back and forth with a person who was suppose to have power over me, and that too in a dangerous duel. And yes, she caught me off-guard a couple times, but that was that. Confringo’s, stupefy’s, crucio’s, expulso’s, reducto’s, spells that melted your insides, jinxes that turned your heart to metal, hexes that made your wand obey your opponent, curses that blasted you apart; there was everything included, because I had lethal intent. It was a Sectumsempra, however, that finally took down my Professor, for she was growing out of breath, and when cuts and gashes made way into her arm and shoulder, she finally dropped to her knees, wand still not forgotten.
Trusting Nagini to take care of her, I went off, assisting Snape in a duel against a certain redhead that he was going way too easy on. And it was easy to take her down, because with a carefully aimed Crucio, the bride had dropped down, screaming and writhing; my companion turned to me just as I heard a scream of “LILY!”, and I just knew he was grimacing underneath. Shrugging my shoulders, I then left Snape to engage in a duel against Dorcas Meadowes, who was fighting beside a heavily breathing redhead whose wand had been blasted off to who knows where. I needed to see the captured.
As I entered the mansion, I was impressed; I didn’t remember any attack in which we’d done this well. But then again, I’d been ready to kill whoever didn’t immerse themselves into pure torture of these people. Most guests had already escaped; only the groom, his father, his friends and colleagues, a couple Professors of whom Dumbledore wasn’t part of, and the bride who was soon brought in, we had mostly all the important ones in our grasp.
I locked eyes with Pettigrew, on his knees beside Potter, and was quivering. He seemed to know what I wanted to tell him – good job.
“Lily!”
“Dorcas, are you okay?”
“What happened?!”
“Lily, love-“
“SHUT UP!” exclaimed Bellatrix, just at the right time. She then proceeded to cackle madly, which I rolled my eyes at. Lucius hissed something about “embarrassing women”.
“Let her go, please,” uttered Potter, and only then did I turn to see Snape holding his wand at Evans’ back. Holding, not jabbing. Striding towards him, pulling her forward with her left arm, and forcefully making her sit on her knees directly in front of Potter as I held her in place with her hair, the girl couldn’t hide her quivering lip from me. I didn’t blame her; I’d successfully destroyed her wedding, and would probably kill her. But I couldn’t help chuckling when Potter started pleading to let her go, because she was bleeding. And the twisted pleasure I derived from that sickened me, but I couldn’t stop it.
Tugging at her hair harder, I muttered a stinging spell under my breath, and the girl’s shoulder began burning more. She yelped and hissed, and I could make out the clenched fists of my fellow Death Eater from the peripherals of my vision. He had to get over her.
And that was the reason, I convinced myself, why I Crucio-ed the girl on her knees.
Her friends screamed at me to stop it, she screamed at me to stop it, Potter screamed at me to stop it, but I didn’t. Amongst the shouts, Black screamed at me to reveal my face, as his cousin already had. I didn’t. And the billow of wind that went past me, temporarily stopping me, and lowered my hood, I knew it wasn’t just nature’s wrath.
As Rabastan tortured Black for lowering my hood, McKinnon taunted, “Oh, your friend can’t defend herself, is it?”
I was flattered, honestly, with the uproar that caused among the Death Eaters. Chuckling, and then asking them to stop it, I wandered to McKinnon, and crouched to her eye level, looking head-straight into her blue eyes. I was aware of the tense gazes of the wedding guests on me, and I couldn’t help but smirk. Quickly suppressing it, I ran my hands along the girl’s face – her nose, jaw, lips, and then threaded them through her hair.
Pulling her head back with her hair, I tilted my head to the side. “You’re the half blood, hm? Gryffindor, like your mother. Your father was Ravenclaw.” She seemed creeped out a tad, at me knowing her family so well. I raised my voice, no longer muttering. “Dolohov, take this one back home. Don’t touch her, or her family. Kill them off, make it hurt. Once you’re done, come back here.”
And so the screams started again, protests and thrashing and writhing. Dolohov did as he was instructed, and everyone watched, horrified.
“Anyone else, have any problem?” I raised my brows. Silence.
I then worked efficiently. Meadowes, Black, Pettigrew and Lupin were taken to the headquarters, meant to be attended to by Father. Bellatrix was allowed to torture whoever she pleased. Once she was done, I dragged the mudblood by her lover, and both of them were tied together. The professors were sent back to Hogwarts as a message, and once those two, as well as Auror Potter were the only ones left, me and the Death Eaters trudged out. Standing at the door, I pointed my wand. “Fiendfyre.”
The doors were closed, and the screams inside would haunt the area forever. The Potters had been murdered, along with all the most valuable assets of the Order of the Phoenix, and Neville Longbottom, two years later, had been marked with a lightning scar.
No one messes with the Riddles and gets away.
No one is worthy of our jealousy.
#james potter#marauders era#marauders map#the marauders era#the marauders#marauders#character x reader#james potter x reader#lily evans#sirius black#remus lupin#1997#hogwarts#slytherin#gryffindor#slytherdor#Harry Potter#AU
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The One - Chapter 2
ok, this one I took a LOT to update (I won't lie, I gave up, but someone asked me about it, and I came back)
part one for those who don't even remember
tw: drugs and alcohol (I do not encourage or support the use of any of these substances :))
‘’May I know why we’re inviting my sister to drink illegally with us?’’ Ron asked as soon as he entered Harry’s room, throwing himself on the bed and looking at the ceiling. The boy finished putting on his shirt, buttoning his muggle jeans and trying to straighten his hair
''Because she is alone, and it would be nice'' Harry shrugged, pretending that it was normal for him to be wearing a lot of perfume and worrying about the look ''I didn't force you to call her, I just commented. You who invited her’’ Ron groaned in disapproval, running his hand over his face and ruffling his hair
‘’You’ll take care of her if she gets sick’’ The redhead pointed a finger at him, trying to be threatening
''Okay, I already took care of you'' Harry shrugged, sitting in the armchair that was nearby, stretching his feet on the open window sill ''Mione coming?'' He raised his eyebrows maliciously, just licking his lips to provoke Ron. Which worked, since he had turned red like a chili
'’Shut up, Potter. Of course she comes, you invited her’’ Ron countered
‘’But you were the one who insisted .. maybe today you’ll take courage and kiss her’’ Harry commented happily, enjoying the discomfort of others
‘’In the same way as you did with Cho? What did it take? A year?’’ His friend had his point, Harry knew that, but it was still embarrassing to remember that
‘‘Fuck you’’ He threw the pillow at the redhead, making him fall down again, laughing at his misfortune.
‘’But seriously, if Gin wants to come, we’ll have to take care of her. Mom would kill me if something happened to her precious girl’’ Ron continued to lie down, hugging Harry’s gray pillow, but looking serious
‘‘I’ll take care’’ Harry said, not wanting to show much enthusiasm ‘’My dad will send us to the basement as soon as Sirius steps in here, so we just left there after a few good hours’’ He smile excited.
The basement was an activity that had started a few years ago. Since the first year of Hogwarts, when the holidays came, Ron and Harry would take shelter for a few hours to talk or play the muggle video game that his mother had given to him. Then they added horror movies. Then, it became the place where they kept seeing magazines that clearly weren't for their age, commenting and making stupid jokes that 13/14 year old boys make. Finally, it became the place where the two spent hours when there was a dinner that Harry wanted to escape.
Lily worked as a healer at St Mungus Hospital, while James was in the Ministry, and for two years he was Head of the Department of Magical Sports and Games, so it was common for dinners to be held with friends from work, or just a meeting of the Marauders. And as much as Harry loved his mother's food, and the stories from school time, he was a teenager who preferred to stick in the basement with his friend, and not have to care about etiquette or any of those things.
The increment of drinks, had happened in the Easter vacation of last year, when Harry stole one of the liters of mead that the father had kept in the office. He and Ron were lying on the old sofa that his mother left there, drinking and watching another horror movie, during all the hours that dinner with his mother's co-workers (The Girls' Night, as she liked to call it)
‘’Today’s what night? Men’s Night?’’ Ron asked, throwing the pillow up and then picking it up, Harry continued to look at the trees in the back of his house, wondering if Ginny would be too long to come ..
‘’Something like that, I think other guys will come too ..’’ Would she wear skirts? Girls were fucking hot in skirts…
‘‘I find it kind of impossible that they don’t suspect a bit of what we do down there’’ Ron sighed ‘’Your dad isn’t stupid’’
''I bet they think we’re dating each other'' Harry said, laughing and winking at Ron, who looked at him like he was the craziest person in the world ''Mom has already commented that it's okay if I'm gay .. Not that I'm despising you, but you're not my style.'' His friend hit him with the pillow, fighting back the last attack, and Harry laughed out loud at his fury.
‘’As if I would want to be with someone like you .. What’s your problem with redheads?’’ Well, Harry thought, it isn’t all the redheads.
‘’Boys?’’ His mother’s low voice came from the other side of the door, and the boy almost laughed when he saw Ron adjust himself on the bed. The woman came in, smiling at them, waving to the redhead ‘‘Hello dear .. Are you going to stay in the basement?’’
''Yes, I think Mione and Ginny will come too'' Harry knew in that second that he should have shut up, just from the look his mother had given him, he knew he would probably get one of those shameful sex conversations soon ''Nothing confirmed!'' He raised his hands, almost begging her to forget the slip.
‘’I’ll leave you enough food. Have fun!’’
[...]
‘’Mom almost didn’t let me come’’ Ginny said, sitting next to Harry on the old light blue sofa, folding her legs and smiling at him, who should be looking at her like he was an idiot.
Ginny was… pretty would be an understatement. Her pants were made of red plaid, gloriously covering her thighs and tightening at the waist with the help of a black dragon leather belt. The top showed a piece of skin on her belly, it was white and looked as if it had been cut and sewn to give her the thin straps and straight neckline that showed the entire bust covered with freckles, which had been very present in the boy's imagination since he had seen one of the afternoons they swam together. The red hair was tied in a high ponytail, leaving the whole neck exposed. And Ginny had gained a few inches in black sneakers.
‘’Maybe it’s because you forgot the rest of the fabric on the shirt?’’ Ron pointed at her bust and her belly shows. ‘’It’s a respected house, girl!’’ He joked, but if Harry was sincere, he couldn’t care less.
‘’Shut up, Ronald’’ She said, rolling her eyes and smiling at Harry ‘‘So, drinking illegally huh?’’ Her red eyebrows rose maliciously as she licked her pink lips ‘’Since when do you do this? And why was I never called?’’
‘‘Because Ron worries that you’ll see him vomiting all over the place’’ Harry teased, dodging the pillow his friend threw at him, and laughing along with Ginny.
‘’Watch out Ron, Mione doesn’t like disgusting boys’’ She warned him ‘’She’s coming, isn’t she? Her mother said she was coming’’ Harry nodded, stretching his feet on the coffee table, not wanting to pay much attention to the contour of her breasts or her neck, using all of his brain power to turn on the video game.
He would be a dead man if he let his other head command him.
[...]
‘’Do you think they’re kissing?’’ Ginny asked, sitting across from him on the floor, looking closely at his fingers rolling the joint
‘’No’’ Harry continued to concentrate on work ‘’Ron isn’t too drunk to offer this’’ She laughed, shrugging her shoulders and slightly denying it, making him lighter and looser. He could even look at her neck without thinking how good it must be to put his mouth there.
‘’Since when do you do this?’’ She took the joint in her hands, still curiously evaluating it ‘’And what’s the fun of smoking?’’ Harry took it again, not wanting to pay much attention to the shock that burned his nerves
''You will see .. Mione must have curled up with my mom'' He said, looking at the stairs and not listening to any steps that indicated his friends were returning from the task of getting more food ''She is more nervous than me when we need to lie''
‘’This is’’ Ginny looked at him provocatively ‘’Every time you get together?’’ Harry laughed, amazed at how beautiful she looked in the yellowish light and the purple and blue reflections on the TV
‘’Almost always .. And we started last Easter, along with Seamus’’ The boy lit the joint, inhale it under Ginny’s steady gazes, almost cutting it in half. He even thought he was going to choke on her attention. ‘‘Want?’’ Harry hoped she was just going to take - or refuse - where she was, but the redhead moved out of her place to stand beside him, placing the pillow dangerously close and taking the joint from her hand
‘’How do that?’’ She raised the cigarette to look at it better before putting it on her lips like Harry had done, making him feel things he normally felt when he was alone at night.
‘’Gulf and .. this... how do you know how to do it?’’ He laughed, seeing her cheeks flush almost immediately, the hot smoke rising from her lips and her eyes getting slightly lighter, shining in the light
''Instinct, I guess?'' Ginny laughed, returning the cigarette to Harry and looking at him ''That's good'' Her brown eyes looked like the caramel candies he ate, so sweet they would give him teeth pain if concentrate too much. ‘’It’s fun’’ Her freckled nose wrinkled, a lovely smile on her face.
Harry didn't know if it was marijuana thinning his neurons or if Ginny was really approaching and looking very close to kissing him, with parted lips and the tip of her tongue showing. He wanted to do this so badly, and it only took a little movement to make it happen like in the perverted dreams he had of the night.
‘’Very good’’ He said, not sure if he was saying about marijuana, proximity, or her entirely.
When Harry thought about making the move, grabbing her right there, the noises on the stairs rumbled throughout the basement, the voices of Ron and Mione filling the room and making her jump back as if she had just seen a dragon or worse.
‘’Hey you… oh, have you started without us? Damn man, I thought we agreed’’ Ron threw himself in front of them, dropping the packages of chips, cookies and pieces of pie on the table
‘’Are you two okay?’’ Mione asked, looking closely at them and stopping at Ginny ‘‘You look like you did the wrong thing’’
‘’I just smoked weed in a cellar, Hermione’’ The redhead said, laughing quietly as she took her piece of pie ‘‘Of course I look like someone who did the wrong thing’’
‘’If you say...’’ Hermione said, shrugging ‘’Gin, and Michael? I heard you were very friendly on the train’’ Harry’s chest seemed to wither like an old bladder, feeling kind of stupid for believing she wanted to kiss him
‘’Michael? Which Michael?’’ Ron asked, passing the cigarette back to Harry, who swallowed it with pleasure, wanting his mind to stop working on making him feel pathetic.
‘’ Corner...Ravenclaw.'' Ginny replied, laying her head on the sofa and looking even more flushed than before ''And we weren't friendly on the train, he just sat with me'' Harry never thought he would be envious of one of the Ravenclaw students, as he felt now, which was quite depressing if you were to analyze.
Maybe he had just imagined that whole moment when she looked like she was about to attack him.
#hinny#hinny au#hinny fluff#harry x ginny#harry and ginny#Harry Potter#james fleamont potter#jily lives#jily#Ginny Weasley#Ron Weasley#hp au#Hermione Granger#Lily Evans
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This Crookshanks vs. Scabbers thing reminds me, that so often in HP related discussions, I find hard to make any definitive stance or firm judgements. Frequently, there just isn’t sufficient information about circumstances, or a perspective given is too limited or one-sided. Sometimes it’s also, that there truly isn’t a moral dimension to an issue as I can see it. Sometimes even moral, prosocial or at least normative behavior by every participant can sometimes lead to a tragedy, conflict or net loss to all involved, without anybody being truly “responsible” (it implying fault in this context. Not merely what or who originates some causal chain of events). Like looking at this Crookshank and Scabbers debate. I think, there’s two related but separated issues here. First is the incident and events leading up to it, or making it possible in the first place. Then Hermione’s and Ron’s reactions to the event.
I mean, how is this even supposed to work? Hogwart’s rules for familiars and pets in general seems quite dysfunctional and chaotic. Cohabitation in limited spaces, combined with the policy, which allows students bring all manners of animals, some of which are incompatible with each other in closed quarters. We see owls, cats, toads, rats, spiders and pygmy puffs in HP series, and apparently also ferrets and crows in CC. Any rules, guidelines and organizing seems to be reserved only to owls, which are separated from living quarters, which is lucky I suppose, considering that owls include all other types in their diet (though they still carry messages between inhabits inside the castle). To the rest, it’s survival of the fittest. To me it seems pure chance and happenstance of how events will turn out in those circumstances. A lot of everything is simple up to what kind of animals people happen to have and in what proximity to each other, e.g. imagine if Neville would’ve had a ferret or cat instead of a toad.
It’s not reasonable or fair to expect some kind of a spontaneous order or ideal solution to pop up in those conditions. Or even some reasonable compromise. I don’t see that either Hermione or Ron failed to perform some fair and comprehensible obligations and responsibilities all pet owners should adhere to. With so many moving parts and people in such a limited space, and very asymmetrical needs and risk for different pets. Expecting (young) people to coordinate that together, especially without any official rules, in otherwise strictly rule bound environment is catastrophe waiting to happen. It’s not like they have any hierarchy or power over each other either, and in a situation which is not governed by existing rules. Plus, there didn’t seem to be anybody with an actual authority (or interest) to mediate and mitigate disagreements between (nominally) equal parties, and ultimately settle the dispute between them.
Only way to maximize safety would’ve been caging animals (some of them, or all of them). But it is no way beneficial or neutral thing to do for any of them, so somebody’s pet is going to suffer only to accommodate somebody else’s benefit. It’s not a natural habitat of any animal, even if rats and toads adapt to that better than cats or ferrets, but there’s distress and limiting their natural potential and animal essence. In Ron’s case, that probably wouldn’t have worked in any case. I doubt it would’ve been possible to cage Scabbers / Wormtail, when Sirius Black was on his trail, or possibly even in if he wasn’t (there’s so many ways that could’ve played out. Maybe he would’ve avoided it fiercely by biting, running away and hiding. Or stop eating or starting to play dead in the cage, or break out from it. Whatever would’ve happen, I doubt it would’ve been possible to keep him in a cage without causing quite considerable and visible harm to him). I mean, even if it was a regular old rat, it would’ve been cruel, as it had been allowed to free-range for most of its life.
Containing Crookshanks to 3rd year girl’s dormitories would’ve probably caused similar problems. Low stimulus and lack of variation, would’ve probably cause boredom and depression to such an intelligent animal. Also, in practical terms, I doubt it would’ve worked out, because many others lived in same quarters. Thus he probably would’ve constantly got out, because people kept coming and going, and maybe left door open for a second too long, or forgot to keep the door shut all the times, etc. Once it’s out, it’s a major operation by many people to locate it in a huge castle like Hogwarts. Unless there’s a serious concern for his safety, you’d probably just had to wait until he returned on its own.
Neither of them are particularly neglectful or malicious. There isn’t clear-cut ideal course of actions for either. I suppose, they could’ve at least tried to work something out, even if there wasn’t any win-win solutions available. But there wasn’t a good way to determinate, which one of them should’ve budged or taken the hit. I don’t know, if even volunteering to take the hit would’ve been that altruistic, because it would been mainly their pets who would’ve suffered for it, and they themselves only indirectly. I don’t see there’s a moral transgression here. Perhaps they’ve should’ve been a bit more conciliatory towards each other, but I doubt that even that would’ve changed the ultimate outcome much. Both had legitimate and morally sound arguments, concerns and interests, which just happened to conflict in those circumstances. Happens all the time.
The fact that Crookshank didn’t eat Scabbers in the end, is almost incidental, because it could’ve easily happen, and distress and fear wasn’t uncalled, and the whole scenario was totally plausible. Given circumstances, probabilistically thinking it was the most likely outcome (compared that one’s pet rat is actually a murderer on the run), and one of the few even possible outcomes out there.
Their reactions are a bit similar. Ron is an instigator and aggressor initially, by blowing up on Hermione and accusing her viciously immediately. Though, it was his rat who’d disappeared without trace (eliminating the possibility that it would’ve been accidentally crushed by someone in their dorms), and Crookshanks being responsible is not the only the most likely, but one of the few possibilities there even were. Still, holding Hermione at fault is unfair, though that instinctual emotional outburst is hardly a major ethical crime. It’s not the high road or virtuous, or even honorable, but that’s pretty much it. Holding that against Hermione and the disloyalty and betrayal he shows at her during later that year is totally another matter (though it’s only tangentially related to Scabbers).
I can see why Hermione would be at the first defensive, as it’s equally natural reaction, when confronted by someone whose consumed by anger, and probably temporarily beyond rational discourse. I don’t think she should have even apologized at all, because I don’t see that she truly was at fault or did anything wrong. After all, an apology is also always an admission of guilt as well. There’s quite a lot of studies about this, but often they make things worse, and make people even more angry or vicious towards you, partly because of that. Not only you admit wrongdoing, but also out you as a moral defective, by doing something heinous in the first place.
Quite likely Ron would’ve been even more enraged, if she would’ve reflexively apologized. A person genuinely needs to be willing to accept an apology, and then move on. They definitely shouldn’t be dished out needlessly, casually or thoughtlessly (not including a common courtesy, like if bumping into someone. Those don’t carry moral weight, thus are phenomenologically different).
She should’ve been genuine sympathetic and being sorry for Ron’s loss and distress, if not during the initial fight, but at least at some point, even if she didn’t exactly cause it. However, she was never was, and she seemed to be more interested in being right and winning an argument (she sometimes has that cold and frankly thoughtless side, in which she seems to be far more interested in being “right” by some factual standards, disregarding empathy or social relations and circumstances she’s in).
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Edit:
I agree with everything you said. It's very understandable for Ron to immediately get angry and to accuse Crookshanks of "killing" his pet. Its literally a cat and mouse chase! And its understandable for Hermione to be on the defensive. This incident happened in third year, so they are both 13-14 ish, children really. You really cannot expect children to act rationally and not emotionally. We as adults can see that they are both in the wrong. And I think as kids when we saw this play out or we read it, we had chosen our sides. I know for me personally I was on Hermione's side. I was all for Hermione defending herself and was just as smug as her when the truth was revealed! But now, I can see that they both are wrong and right at the same time.
You last take on Hermione though, she has always had this air of superiority, and you are right, sometimes she needs to be "right" and she doesn't care about anything else, even her friends feelings.
- Lisa
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Black Army Mischief Maker (Ch.3)
You can find chapters 1 &2 in my masterlist in my bio!
Characters: Finley Godspeed and Black Army
Tagging: @plumpblueberry and @christmaswarlock for their love of this Godspeed child.
A/N: Finley is back at it again. If you want to learn some elephant facts, this is the place. Finley knows whats up.
Someone new had arrived at headquarters.
Not a member of the army. A woman that the young Godspeed had never seen before. Someone that needed their protection. As such, a room needed to be prepared, and the only one available needed to be fixed up. Finley had begged to tag along into Central Quarter on the shopping trip.
It turned out to be quite more boring than she’d imagined.
Seth meticulously began his search for the right sheets, comforter, and even the cushions to be on the couch. Reaching their tenth store, Finley began to drag her feet. “This isn’t the adventure that I thought it would be.” Falling forward to rest her forehead against his leg, she poked at the holstered gun for entertainment. It swung slightly, reminding her of a pendulum.
“I told ya this wasn’t going to be fun this time, bug,” Fenrir answered with a pat to her head. No amount of explanation before they left had swayed the child from wishing to come with them. He chuckled at her dramatic whine and fascination with the holster. “Hey, I know. Why don’tcha pick somethin’ out for Alice. It might make her feel more welcome.”
Give her a task and three... two... one...
Instant results. Finley gave a small gasp and her feet became spring loaded as she bounced uncontrollably in place. “I can? I can pick her something out? Anything I want?”
It took one nod of approval for her to set off further into the store in search of the perfect item to give to their new guest. Anything chosen would be vetted by Seth. It must match the decor and color scheme of the bedroom.
The store employees had a front row seat to free entertainment. Around and around, Finley circled, and weaved past displays of trinkets. Occasionally, she leaned in to study an object before shaking her head and continuing her search. Standing up on her tiptoes, she carefully took the glass item off the shelf and returned to her father’s side. “This one. It’s the one I want to give Alice,” Finley stated, cradling with both hands as if it would break at any moment.
The Ace of Spades cast a curious gaze down at her but broke out in a wide grin. He ruffled her short hair and voiced his approval. “It’s perfect, bug.”
****
Seth spent way too much time decorating the room. Finley remained grateful that she could not help and patiently waited on the couch where she could cause no trouble. The soldiers at the mercy of the ten of spades were under intense scrutiny. One millimeter off from Seth’s vision and they received an ear full. The moment it ended, they scurried off to escape their strict supervisor.
“You did all this for me?” Alice asked, arriving with Fenrir at her side. Her steps into the room slow and eyes wide to take in the beautiful result. She’d insisted that they didn’t need to redecorate the space but lost to the relentless army leaders.
Finley climbed to her feet on the couch, holding out the small gift bag towards the woman with the biggest smile. “I bought this for you! Welcome to Black Headquarters! We have lots of fun here and you’ll be safe!” From Ray had told her, Alice had nowhere to go and needed their protection. He didn’t say from what, but Finley knew there was no place safer than here.
Alice accepted the gift and pulled the glass trinket from within. Up in the light, she observed the pale blue elephant. It matched the colors in the bedroom, but how this particular object had been chosen alluded the woman. “Thank you, it’s quite beautiful,” her warm words paused with realization, “I’m sorry, I never asked your name. I’m Alice.”
“I’m Finley. I’ve been reading a book about elephants and they are really cool. Did you know that they spend twelve to eighteen hours a day eating?” She spouted off the fact before bouncing up and down on the cushion. “I wish I could eat for that long. There would be so many yummy things I could eat in that amount of time, like crepes, ice cream, brownies, cookies, cookie brownies.”
“You might make yourself sick eating that much sweets,” Alice replied, finding it impossible not to like the young girl. She had a lot of experience with kids eating too many sweets, since she worked in a bakery.
A hum passed the child’s lips and her head tilted in response. “But Luka doesn’t have that kind of time,” she said as if that were the only problem with it. Nothing satisfied her more than the Jack’s cooking. Her gaze snapped back up to Alice. “And Elephants can consume 300 to 600 pounds of food per day. That’s like 8 to 17 of me.”
Fenrir leaned against the door frame, making no effort to reel in his wild child. Her rambling would go on for a while if he did nothing. “We did the math on it,” he interjected, confirming her statement.
“Wow, that’s quite a lot of you for an elephant to eat.” Alice laughed in response.
“Oh, and Elephants can swim underwater and breathe through their trunks. I have to hold my breath when I swim. And, and, their trunks can grow to be six feet long, which is almost as long as Sirius is tall.” Finley stuck her arm out and waved it like how she imaged an elephant’s trunk would move.
Alice cast a glance at the Ace standing in the doorway. “She’s passionate about elephants, isn’t she?” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and found herself laughing more at the elephant sounds that Finley was attempting.
“Yeah, that’s right. She bought an information book about Elephants last month. It ain’t got any stories, and very few pictures, but she has me help her read it every night. That’s why she can recite it from memory.” Fenrir loved how much his daughter liked learning. She would be starting kindergarten next year, and formal teaching wasn’t his thing. He let her decide what kind of things she wanted to study.
“How about the elephant go check on what Luka’s cooking for tonight. Maybe he’ll give you a sample.”
All three turned to see the King of Spades eyeing the young Godspeed with amusement. He adored her like she was his own. At the moment, he wished to discuss some important things with Alice and Fenrir, but the very loud and literal elephant in the room made that quite difficult.
Finley hopped off the couch and took off at full speed for the kitchen. She hopped down the stairs, crouching low and then jumping as high as her legs would allow until she’d reached the bottom. “Luuuka!” Finley took a deep breath once she entered the room. Everything smelled delicious. “Can you make me enough food to eat for 12 to 18 hours a day?”
“No.” His answer the obvious one and it didn’t faze the girl at all.
“Okay.” She relented easy and skipped across the room to stand at his side. She held up her index finger to make her next point. “If I were an elephant, you would have to. That’s how much they eat.”
Luka brushed the chopped vegetables into the pot of boiling water before giving in to the conversation. “It’s a good thing you aren’t an elephant, then.” He couldn’t imagine her eating more than she already did. She was healthy and active, but she ate nearly as much as a grown man. If no one stopped her, Luka feared she would eat herself into a coma.
“You are making a lot of food though,” Finley muttered, standing on her tiptoes to snatch a lost piece of broccoli off the counter. As she chewed it, she gasped loudly and inhaled a little bit of the vegetable. Her hand covered her mouth as she coughed until it cleared. It didn’t deter her excitement. “Are we having a party?”
What the child loved nearly as much as spooky things, was a good party that lasted well past her bedtime.
“We’re giving the little lady a welcome party,” Sirius cut in, returning from the dining hall where he’d been setting the table. With this much food involved, Luka couldn’t be expected to do it all alone. Everyone needed to pitch in.
Oh! I wanna help. Can I?” The second she got permission, Finley dashed across the room to retrieve the wooden two-step step stool, crafted from a woodworker’s shop in a town nearby specifically for her. It hit the cabinets under the counter with a thud and creaked as she climbed up.
Sirius came in and out as dishes were completed, taking them away before the girl growing ever hungrier with every delicious item that Luka and Sirius had made. The sun had slid down beyond the horizon, leaving only twinkling stars and the bright moon illuminating the dark landscape outside the window.
With the last dish done, Finley stepped off the stool and collapsed into a puddle with a growling stomach. She did enjoy cooking, but this had drained her of all her energy. She laid flat with her forehead pressed to the floor and arms out, sprawled out like a starfish. “If I were an elephant, I’d never be this hungry, ever.” The words muffled by the tile beneath her.
Luka simply stepped over her, shaking his head with a ghost of a smile on her lips. “Elephants don’t get to attend parties, do they? Don’t you want to be Finley and be allowed to come to the dining hall?”
A moment of silence passed over the kitchen.
“Okay, I want to be Finley again.” Clambering to her feet, she staggered forward, moving a little too fast for her weary legs. She made it to the door before being snatched up into someone’s arms.
“Good, cause everyone loves ya as Finley,” Fenrir said, placing a kiss on the side of her head. He lifted her up higher to sit her on his shoulders. Her fingers weaved into his hair, petting him affectionately. “Let’s go party, bug!”
The dining hall could not have fit any more soldiers. The table lined with all the delectable foods and desserts that had been made. Various bottles of beer and alcohol were spread out on a table pushed into the far corner. As full as it was, not a single one spoke. Everyone stood looking at the other door, awaiting their guest of honor.
As the door creaked open, Alice’s features lit up with a mixture of thankfulness and embarrassment. A chorus rang out from all the soldiers and the small girl sitting on her father’s shoulders. No rehearsal led to an out of sync round, but the message came loud and clear, setting the festivities off.
“Welcome to the Black Army!”
#this kid is an absolute riot#she has no chill unless she is hungry#ikemen revolution#ikerev#fenrir godspeed#luka clemence#sirius oswald#seth hyde#ray blackwell#finley godspeed#black army mischief maker#ikerev next gen#ikerev oc#look at me#i'm two for two#maybe I be able to post tomorrow too
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My Big Brother
Regulus Black was not happy. Not happy at all. Why you ask? Because his brother Sirius had somehow gotten into his room and turned it upside down, literally upside down. His study table, chair, his lamp, heck even the mirror and his quill stand was stuck upside down. He sighed and walked in and closed the door. His bed was mercifully on the ground the straight way up. He was exhausted, the Dark Lord had certainly not shown mercy to him nor had he shown it to the other Slytherins who had been initiated with him.
He would turn 16 in a month now. His brother was another headache he had to bear. He had run away two years ago to that Potter brat and then came back a changed boy, no man. Regulus had felt betrayed when Sirius left him in the old, black, creepy Grimmauld house all by himself. Sure he acted as if he was following his dear mother's words and dream about being the Black Heir, but his brother had always come first to him.
So when Sirius came, last year thumping on the door to let him, he was surprised to find him ragged, beaten, and starved. He remembered what Sirius had told him after hugging him close and nuzzling his head into the joint between his shoulder and neck, "I ran, and went to live with the Potters. They were very kind to me, Reg. They fed me, cloth me, not that I didn't have any money, but it felt nice to know they were there for me. Then he came. That stupid old goat! He fed rumours about into Prongs' parent's ears, he said I was turning dark, that I was not good for James and that I was going to betray their trust in some way or the other. Prongs and I denied everything but eventually even James started believing his words.
He-" here Sirius's sobs had gotten hard as he couldn't stop his voice from cracking, Regulus rubbed his brothers back and just held him close, he knew how it felt. And then Sirius continued, "He started giving this looks at me. He never said it to me but I knew what he was thinking, that it probably ran in the family or that I had lied to him. Reg, then I ran away from them too. I lived on the streets, ate scraps from bins, heck I haven't got a decent night of sleep in months. Then it happened Reg. The streets are a very dangerous place to live; I came close to dying thrice. Once I got in the middle of a muggle gang I got punched and kicked and had bruises for days, then there was an accident where I broke ribs and could wake up after a week and the muggles healing is very painful. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I don't want that anymore. I won't listen to mother or father but I am staying here for you, I will stay here and be there for me, little brother."
That had gotten him so mad, that foolish Headmaster! How dare him! How dare he make his precious brother so broken and sad. That made up his mind. If he was going against him, do it the old fashioned way, join the Dark Lord. That had seemed so easy back then. Sirius was not happy with his decision and so made pranks to torture and that tried his patience. But he was glad that Sirius had bounced back, three months of glooming away in his room he had come out looking ready to start his new life. His parents hadn't forgiven for his traitorous act. At that Sirius had held his neck high chin up like any regal lord and said that he had not made in wrong decisions but it was the Potters who were in the wrong now.
Walburga Black for the first time had seen him act as his blood. And the whole last month Sirius had been studying the Old Ways, and the Wizarding politics which he had neglected for the last six or so years. Sirius tried to cope up with the idea that being in the Dark Lord's ranks would help the family, but he refused to believe him. Regulus smirked at the answer he had gotten, "I may be learning about the Dark and the Dark Arts, but I don't want that burden to be fallen on you. I don't want my baby brother getting hurt." His brother was so protective about him; it made him giddy in the inside. Yes, he had a brother complex. Who wouldn't? He had looked up to Sirius all these years, he still would look up to him. And he also knew that the brother bond they once had had been sewn together stronger than ever.
That was how it was up till now, but that still didn't make up for the fact his brother, a Marauder, pranked him every single time he got called for his "Death Eater-in-training" meetings. Now that he had been mad one he feared for his noiseless, chaos-less, days.
'Ah, I will think about it when he starts something. I am sleeping.' And he fell asleep.
The next day, when went down in the kitchen he was surprised to see his brother already sitting there. But he was even more surprised to see his cousin Bellatrix, Narcissa and Andromeda sitting there and talking to Sirius. He pinched himself to check whether he was still sleeping or not. Nope it hurt a lot. Why would Bella want to speak with Sirius, let alone freely laugh about him? He shook his head, now was not the time to think about his crazy relatives, and now was the time for sandwiches and his stomach demanded them.
He walked up front towards his plate but his gut insisted to stop his hand from picking one, he looked at Sirius who was innocently talking with Cissa, but Bella was looking at him with glee in her eyes. He sighed and waved his wand vanishing the plate; it was too early in the morning anyways.
"Hey, why did you do that?" he looked at the pouting face of his brother.
"I am not going to eat anything you have touched, not when I am still getting over what you did last time you gave your tart." He still had horrible memories about that, he gotten boobs! And even lost his Little Reggie for day and a half!
Sirius smirked and turned to look at Bella, "I won. My baby brother is learning. Now pay up."
He put out his hand and Bella scowled but put five galleons in it. "Sheesh, Regulus couldn't you just them."
Narcissa stepped in before things got out of hands, "Bella, it was your fault that you didn't know well enough. Now learn your lesson."
"Hmph."
Regulus looked at Andromeda and said, "What are you three doing anyways? You never come here and never talk to Sirius. And Bella's talking to him as if he was his best friend, which I shudder to believe at."
It was Bella who answered, "Sirius called us here. Imagine our surprise when he bowed and apologized for his comments and views for the last seven years."
Regulus had his mouth opened, jaw slacked. All going in his mind was, 'What?'
Sirius leaned up the table and closed his little brother's mouth for him, "Close your mouth, Reg. I know you are not hungry enough to eat flies."
"Why did you call us here, Siri?" Andromeda opened her mouth for the first time since she came here this morning, still trying to wrap her mind around it.
At this Sirius gave a crooked smile which made his face seem sinister like he did when planned his utter humiliating pranks.
"I wanted you four to be the first ones to know. I have made my decision regarding the family." Then he looked at Regulus, right into his eyes when he talked again, "I am not going to stop you from working under Voldemort. In fact I have found a new way to protect my dear baby brother. I am going to become a Death Eater."
Regulus did the only logical thing that came to his mind. He fainted.
Sirius looked at the fallen body of his brother and hid a smile, Regulus thought he knew him well, it would have been a great prank had it not been true. Bella and Cissa both looked as if he had kissed Snape while Andromeda just took a sip from her cup of tea.
When Regulus came to, he was lying on the couch of the living room, his head on his brothers lap, who on the other hand was weaving his fingers through Regulus’s hair with one hand and reading a book with the other. He didn’t want to leave such a comfortable position that he moved and was completely lying on Sirius. He looked up to his brother who had his eyebrow quirked as If asking ‘What?’
Regulus shook his head and wrapped his arms around Sirius’s waist and nudged his head further in. Sirius laughed and patted his hair, “Bella and Cissa have gone to the Malfoy Manor to talk to Lucius about my wish to get marked, Meda is still in the house in the basement.”
Sirius closed the book with a snap and tapped his nose, “How are you feeling? I didn’t mean to scare you, Reggie. And no, it was not a dream.” He kissed Regulus’s forehead, “I will never let you suffer when you have me by your side, forever. Get it Reggie, you are not alone!”
Regulus felt giddy inside, those sentences had made his heart ache with hope brimming till the top. The word forever caused heat to turn his cheeks red, he didn’t care whether Severus disliked his brother, whether his Lucius turned up his nose at him, whether Potter had almost managed to severe their bond, He loved Sirius more than anything.
“You are so stupid Sirius.” Atlast he managed to get a few words out. “ If you join us, no longer will you be able to hide, you will have to fight your friends.” His grip around Sirius’s waist tightened, “Would you be able to last long trying to kill the people who were once by your side?”, murmuring his doubts in a low voice he wanted some consensus. Instead he got another kiss on his cheek and his brother pulling him up on his lap and hugging for all the worth in the world, “Who’s the moron here? I thought I said I am never leaving you alone, didn’t I?”
Regulus looked up shyly to see the familiar roguish smirk, “Truly?” a nod of the head, “Truly.”
His face split in two as he laid his head on his brother’s chest, “I am going to sleep, you will regret it if you try and move me.”
A bark of laugh was what he heard as his eyes closed and an arm going across his chest to pull him up and more close to the other.
He had finally got his brother back.
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They tagged me! I tag you!
I was tagged by @thebookimaginarium (sorry I know this is late, but I had a rollercoaster of a week and didn’t have the time!)
What would you name your future kids? Ugh this is so hard. I always low-key hated Turkish names. The meanings are often beautiful but the sound? Not so much. I always loved the name Alex though, or Aleks in Turkish. I may name my child that. Recently I’ve started to think Kuzey (Coo-zey) which means ‘north’ is a nice male name. A, Z, X, K are my favourite letters in names so probably something with those.
Do you miss anyone? It has been a year since I cut ties with so many toxic people in my life, and I was afraid that I would miss them. But no, turns out I don’t.
What are you looking forward to? Buying that camera I want. Seven months to go!
Is it hard of you to get over someone? Not really. If I decide to move on without them, it’s pretty easy to let go. Mind over matter.
What was your life like last year? On a hold... It was a dreaded in-between. Nothing was certain, and nothing was mine. I literally turned my life upside down and shook so many things from my mind’s pockets for a while I thought I had nothing left. Then slowly I started to climb back up. It’s getting better than ever. Slowly, but surely.
What is your life like this year? It’s a battle. But it’s going good. I have definite goals, and I believe that I will achieve them. It was something I thought I’d lost. I am writing more. Much more. I am creating projects and save for big (for me) investments to better myself. I’m opening the cafè I wanted, so I’m bit scared because I’m not really sure if I want to tie myself to this place so permanently. I am thinking about returning to academia as well, I want to have a graduate degree. I’ve been researching that and I’m not sure if I’ll have time for it. But we’ll see... This year’s main goal is to create more art. Last year had been a dry period artistically and now I’m devoted to discovering more techniques for photography, to better myself in visual arts (photography and video art mainly), and to write.
Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? So annoyed... Hmmm. So is an important word there. I have cried when I was so annoyed it became anger, frustration –when it became a box that imprisoned me. Otherwise, if I’m annoyed I walk the other way, silently, and move on.
Who did you last see in person? My aunt and uncle.
Are you listening to music right now? Guilt by Marianne Faithful. I usually listen to music. Except when I’m writing. I need silence when I’m writing.
Does it have anything to do with what you’re doing right now? Nope. I just put on Broken English album by Marianne Faithful, because I haven’t listened to her for a while, and I missed it.
Personality description. Let’s get dirty. Smart and stupid. Unintentionally rude. If I don’t like someone, intentionally rude. Very rude. A dash of cruel and vindictive. But also supportive. Ask my help and it’s yours. Walls. Big walls. Protective. Very protective. Reader. Stubborn. Dreamer. Oh boy, am I a dreamer... Learner. KNOWING THINGS IS AWESOME. Also honest. I will answer everything honestly. If I choose to hide something I will tell you that I’m not telling you everything. Emotional. Very emotional but also logical. Balancing two is what I do. VISUAL. Homebound traveller. I can travel for months and months, and I will always miss home. And home is where I’ve put my bed. I don’t care about the country, city or whatever.
Have you ever been to New York City? Nope. Never been to USA. Or any part of the Americas for that matter.
Birthday and age? 17th of July. 26 until then.
Are your crushes mainly girls or guys? Guys. I’m into guys. They are gorgeous. But honestly, I can crush on a girl’s mind. Or I can crush on any human if I want to photograph them. I can look at someone’s face and just dream. I objectify people as an occupation.
Favorite quote? From The Dispossessed by Ursula LeGuin: “You cannot take what you have not given, and you must give yourself. You cannot buy the Revolution. You cannot make the Revolution. You can only be the Revolution. It is in your spirit, or it is nowhere.”
Something you want to learn? Applying gold and silver leaf to my photographs is something I want to experiment with. Also hand painting (tinting) photo prints as well... I’m interested in mixing my methods a little bit. Get the creative juices flowing. Learning is a big part of that so I’m sure I won’t stop anytime soon. I also want to learn French (I’m working on it!). There are lots of other things, but relatively more conceptual... so... silently drifts off...
Favorite subject in school? In high school Literature, History and Geography. In university Film Theory and Semiology. Oh and when I went to Baltic Film and Media School in Estonia via Erasmus we had this elective called the Journey of Sound and Colour which was simply a course that forced me to break my mind and tap into that creative space in it. It was one of the best experiences of my life.
Relationship status? Single.
Favorite book(s)? The Dispossessed, Left Hand of Darkness and The Earthsea Series by Ursula LeGuin. American Gods, Sandman and Smoke and Mirrors (a short story collection) by Neil Gaiman. Philosophy in the Bedroom by Marquise de Sade (I swear it’s not the sex giggle giggle). The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan and then also Brandon Sanderson (epic fantasy galore). Of course, Harry Potter series as well; but to be quite honest I enjoy the fanfiction more that the canon so... There are many more, naturally. But I will stop here.
Favorite fictional character? Honestly, I relate to Sirius Black so much, it’s weird. I mean on the surface I got nothing in common with him. But when he is happy, he is happy and when he is angry he is so angry. And so am I. But also because the character is layered and complex and imperfect. I truly love writing him as my own too. Loaded backstory that allows my mind to fill in the holes. Beyond that I love Dream in Sandman but also Desire. Shevek from the Dispossessed. Rand Al’Thor from Wheel of Time is probably my favourite protagonist.
Favorite fictional couple? I’m going to answer this as canon couples. Coz if we go into the armada there is no return. (Do you have any idea how hard it is to favourite canon couples?)
Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. The perfect definition of in good times and in bad. Rhuarc with Amys and Lian from Wheel of Time (yeah I know technically they are not a couple, what with being married to two women. Triads are valid kthnxbye). Fleur and Bill Weasley. Seriously, there is some real hidden gem of a love story there. Beyond that I don’t know. I love couples within the story itself. It’s the story I truly love usually.
Something I’m talented at. Only thing I’m truly talented at is imagining, dreaming. The rest comes from determination and focus. It comes from hard work, care, motivation and drive. I think I see talent as a state of mind, instead of a thing of its own. It’s the lump of iron before it becomes a steel knife.
Please ignore if not interested. LOVE Y’ALL.
@kreeblimsabs @mechengmama @bellahexlestrange
IF YOU WANT TO DO IT PLEASE DO BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO GET TO KNOW YOU AND SAY THAT YOU’VE BEEN TAGGED BY ME! PLEASE. Love you all.
#know your synoir#tagged#I probably need to re-read the Dispossessed since it has been ages and apparently I missed it#long post#sorry
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♫In2 (Kehlani Remix)- WSTRN// Marauders Era: Remus x Reader
Request: Could you do an imagine where you go clubbing with the marauders???(please let Sirius help pick out her outfit because I feel like that would be so cute and funny) and you (usually pretty innocent) Starts dancing with some other guy and Remus gets extremely jealous and ends up telling the guy to leave and Remus admits he fancies you???
''Not that one,'' Sirius shook his head at Y/N, as she turned around and raised an eyebrow.
''I don't recall asking for your opinion,'' she retorted, hands resting on her hips.
''Then you're lucky enough to get it anyway,'' a childish smile spread across his face, ''Not that one.''
''Why not?'' she took another look in the silver edged mirror placed in her dormitory, trying to see what was so wrong with the long sleeved, dark blue dress that hugged her hips.
''Because it's got a massive bow on the back. It's a club, not a bloody wedding,'' he reminds her, and surely enough, she sees the silk bow gracing the back of blue velvet as she takes a glance over her shoulder.
''I forgot that was there,'' she sighed, stepping away from the mirror and back into the wardrobe, charmed to be about three times the size it looks.
Slipping out of the soft velvet, she scans the hanging clothes for another option, frowning at the lack of inspiration in her head. Finally, she spots a dark crimson dress, surrounded by the dark fabric of her uniforms. She slides it on and steps out again, positioning herself in front of the mirror.
''Nope,'' the forgotten presence of her best friend makes her let out a little groan, only met by a chuckle coming from the boy leaning on the headboard of her bed. ''I don't own and endless supply of dresses, you know,'' she turns around, frowning at him before she looks over her shoulder in the mirror.
''It's silk. It's too fancy,'' he explains, matter of factly, his smile never vanishing from his face.
''Maybe you're just not fancy enough,'' her remark is followed by her tongue being stuck out at the lounging boy, who then put a hand over his chest, feigning a hurt gasp as she rolled her eyes and entered the closet once again.
Vexed by the process at this point, she grabbed the first thing she touched when her hand reached for the hangers, putting it on without even noticing what it was. She stepped into the room again, not even managing to take a peek in the mirror before Sirius gave her an approving nod: ''That one. I like that one.''
Turning around to look, she found herself in a y/f/c dress, slipping gracefully from her waist to her hips, just barely reaching the middle of her thigh.
''It's so short!'' she exclaimed, looking at her friend, who gave her a simple shrug before paraphrasing his earlier statement: ''We are going to a club, not church.''
Finally dressed and ready, Y/N made a descent into the Gryffindor common room, her hands constantly at the hemline of her dress, tugging it down, and the continuous smack of Sirius' hand on hers, reminding her that, it's alright because we are going to a club.
When they reached the bottom of the staircase, she finally gave Sirius the smack he'd been skillfully avoiding all the way down, prompting a loud, ''OUCH'', to fall from his lips before she turned to face her waiting friends.
The scene before her seemed pretty standard: James stealing glances at Lily, green velvet cascading down her slim figure as she smiles kindly at Peter, who seems to be in the middle of explaining something rather riveting. She notices Remus rolling his eyes at the absentmindedly nodding James, who clearly was not listening to a single word coming out of his mouth, and soon his glowing brown eyes land on her, widening slightly.
Remus Lupin could feel his heart pounding in his throat at the sight of her, a slight stutter appearing in his voice as he muttered a, ''Hello,'' to the beautiful girl.
She smiled widely at the group, about to walk over to the gesturing Lily, when Sirius exclaimed: ''Let's GO already!'' with the excitement of a five year old child off to a theme park.
The muggle fascination with discotheques hadn't taken long to find its way into the wizarding world; of course, the wizard clubs were much more fun, enchanted drinks floating around, waiting to be grabbed and a dance floor that expanded as much as it needed to to make space for absolutely everyone were just two of the many things that made 'The Phoenix Tail' far more fascinating than the muggle club it used as a disguise.
Y/N walked in, fascinated at the flurry of colours, followed by Lily and James, now proudly holding hands, a confused looking Peter, and a seemingly indifferent Remus, who had barely taken his eyes off her as they made their way over. Sirius, who had strolled in last, was already making eyes at a pretty, black haired girl at the bar, and swiftly made his way over before anyone had the time to notice.
The blue light gave Y/N an ethereal glow as it shone on her silky skin, her y/h/c hair moving gently as she walked further into the place, soon joined by Lily, who grabbed her arm and whispered: ''This is incredible, isn't it?'' into her ear, her soft voice audible even through the loud music.
''It really is,'' she couldn't hide the massive grin on her face as she looked around, chuckling at the sight of Sirius chatting up the girl at the bar, clearly doing quite well.
''Come on, let's dance,'' Lily said, excitedly, trying to drag her out onto the dance floor.
''I'm not much of a dancer Lil,'' the y/e/c eyes suddenly gained a hint of worry at the thought that she might actually have to dance at the disco, a factor she had completely forgotten until that moment.
''Don't be a spoilsport,'' her friend pouted at her, and with a groan, Y/N grabbed a martini from the air, downed it rapidly, and followed her friend out onto the dance floor.
She looked around for guidance on how exactly this dancing business was supposed to be done, observing the way some girls moved their hips and others simply stepped from foot to foot. Deciding to choose the latter approach, she began dancing next to the red haired girl, who had chosen to actually dance. Feeling extremely out of place, she looked around, scanning the space for a friendly face, finally finding Remus who just happened to be looking in her direction. She gave him an enthusiastic wave and was met with a faint smile before hearing her name.
''Oh, for Pete's sake, Y/N, loosen up,'' Lily called out to her over the music, causing her to sigh loudly before grabbing a floating shot of tequila and tipping the small glass upside down before attempting the alluring hip movements she saw around her.
I'm not so bad, she thought to herself as she carefully moved her hips from side to side, her hands in mid air, an occasional hair flip added as she began letting herself relax on the dance floor. Whether this was a consequence of needing to let loose or the hard liquor running through her veins, it was impossible to tell. That is, until she felt a hand on her shoulder, turning around to see a handsome black haired boy, his dark skin glistening beautifully under the blue lights.
''You're a good dancer,'' he gave her a shy smirk, despite obviously not being shy at all, ''Do you reckon you could teach me?''
Y/N couldn't imagine what her face looked like at this question, a mixture of surprise, nerves and terror overflowing her as she found herself nodding at the boy. He gently placed a hand on her waist, beginning to guide its movement, slowly but surely pulling her closer to him as they danced to the beat of the booming music. The discomfort of the act soon began to fade as she relaxed, even allowing herself to laugh at some of the friendly stranger's jokes that he whispered in her ear, his hot breath sticking to her neck.
In the middle of a story about his little brother, the boy's hand left her waist, and as she looked up to see where it had gone, she found Remus holding him by the wrist, fuming, almost literally, as he glared at the stranger.
''Just sod off, alright?'' the harsh words left Remus' mouth, and her newfound friend raised both his arms defensively before walking away, shaking his head.
Y/N met the angry boy's eyes for mere seconds, fury seething inside her as she stepped towards him, only to see him walk away and towards the club's entrance. Without a second thought, she followed him, removing her high heeled shoes as she walked after him and meeting Lily's confused look on her way towards the door.
Stepping out into the cold air was a slight shock after the warmth of the inside space, especially with nothing but her tights separating her feet from the cold cement, but she didn't care. As soon as she caught a glimpse of the familiar chestnut haired boy, she placed a hand on his shoulder, an excessively peaceful gesture compared to the whirlwind of emotions she was feeling on the inside.
''What's your problem, Moony?'' she demanded, watching while the boy turned around and faced her, still frowning.
''Do you like him? That guy you were prancing around with?'' his voice was low and raspy, almost angry, but his eyes glimmered with a slight sadness that she didn't fail to notice.
''Firstly, prancing? I find that an insult to my superb dancing skills. And secondly, of course not, I just met the guy. I don't even know his damn name.''
Exasperated, Remus swung his head backwards, placing both his palms on his face. As he brought his head forwards he shook his head, his palms slipping from his face.
''He was perfectly nice, though, and I don't see what prompted you to drag him away like you're my mother. In fact, you acted a lot like my mother,'' she continued babbling as his frown faded and a small smile spread across his face.
''You look really beautiful tonight,'' he stopped her chatter with surprising words, and she looked at him, completely baffled by the statement.
''Thank you, Remus, but that still doesn't explain--''
''I was jealous, alright? Happy?'' he lifted his arms in a gesture of surrender as she tilted her head to the side.
''If you wanted to wear this dress, all you had to do was ask,'' she shook her head lightly, her joke luring out a laugh from the boy.
''I've had these feelings for you for a while now. It doesn't seem like they're going to go away, so I thought I might as well tell you now that I've made a complete fool of myself--''
She presses her lips to his, the warmth of his body against her making the cool air around them disappear, as her fingers tangle in his hair and his palms find their way to the small of her back. Too soon she pulls away smiling at the lovely being in front of her as she whispers:
''As I was saying, all you had to do was ask.''
#request#hp#hp imagine#harry potter imagine#marauders era#gryffindor#marauder#marauder imagine#remus lupin#remus lupin imagine#remus imagine#moony#remus lupin x reader
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