#hilarious but also so cringe what is my life

[alphajocklover]

hey there. I—-iiii—-I’m sorry, I’m a lil a little ner nervous here. I have this uh, like, um, shy. Uh. Shy persona. Im a nerdyaverage gay dude. And I wanna be able to talk in front of like um crowds. Actually I um, had something in mind. I wanna become a big, jacked jock straight comedian. Telling hilarious and sometimes cringe and crude jokes. Getting egged on by my maybe like um, frat bros or something to tell like obnoxious straight dude joke or something. Yeah. Like super douchebag funny guy muscle straight bro who is the life of the party. Young and dumb dude. Is there anything you have that could make this a reality?

It’s nice to meet you Mike! You don’t mind if I call you Mike do you? I know it’s not your name, but I don’t love using real names in my work… also, if I do this right your name could actually be Mike soon. I think that’s a good name for a straight douchebag comedian. It’s kind of a pun actually, a play on open Mike. You could call yourself Mike Dick. Get it, cause it sounds like ‘my dick’? Not funny huh? I’ll admit I’m not the best at this, but you’re the one who wants to be a comedian, not me. And I’m going to tell you how. You need to do what everyone who has stage fright needs to do. You need to get up on that stage… and just start talking.

I bet you're probably very confused right now. I know that the very idea of talking in front of people fills you with dread, and you came to me so you could get that confidence, not some cheesy advice. But I swear to you that I’m not just giving you empty platitudes. When you get up on the stage, in that spotlight, everything will be ok. Not because you believe in yourself, but because that spotlight is being powered by a very special battery. You might remember my supernova transformations, from my earliest stories. You might also remember that I was able to take some of the energy from it using a special solar panel and put it in a battery. While it turns out that if you use that battery to power a light source… It has an interesting effect. Any guy caught in its rays has they’re wish granted, while also being turned into a jock.when I discovered this I thought maybe I had finally found out how InstaJock works, but the transformation isn’t instant, and I’m not sure if you could get that energy to travel through an app or anything, so it’s probably something else.

Anyways, head on up! At first you’ll be your regular, shy and geeky self, but as you bask in the spotlight and start to open up, you’ll slowly change. Your muscles will slowly grow, your body and face becoming more chiseled, and your sense of humor will slowly become more… raunchy. Thoughtful comedy will slowly turn into cheap punchlines about ‘stupid queers’ and crude stories about ‘crazy bitches with huge tits’. Your audience might not like your new style, but a confident stud like you doesn’t care about what losers like that think, and you’ll be certain to get a following of beefy straight douchebags in no time. Especially if you turn that spotlight on the audience. Have fun, and try to use that spotlight responsibly. The battery won’t last forever, and I’m not going to give you a second one.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - The Heat is Rising

Sorry this late, blah blah real life actual job blah blah.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

June 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Goodday (Sat YT) ep 8 of 12 - Why is it so good?! It’s unfair. Cause I know pain must be incoming. Also... Yak moved to the "rao" pronoun for his confession! SO ADORABLE!!!!! Can you see me kicking my feet and squealing with joy on this side of the screen? Well I am. 

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - I think I'm finding this show a lot funnier than the show is trying to be. The pose in the doorway. The sparkle pants. The creaking of the leather. It’s all hilarious. The foot massage. So silly. Simultaniously, full of thirst. Yay! I like thirst. Not entirely sure why he’s dicking him around and not dicking him out but hey the tension is fun. Also the shot staging is very good. Very yaoi. Lin going to have so much power in this relationship once he starts trying on seduction for size. All just to say, it’s good and I’m enjoying it.

My Stand-In (Fri iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - you know I'm enjoying it a lot, so a surprise to see a Star Hunter beat it out? It's just MosBank are SERVING classic BL and I am a sucker for that kinda smut. Back to Stand-In...

It’s sad and a little complicated and interesting. And I’m still enjoying it very much. But this episode was mostly a rehash of information we already had been given, it was slow. Although since the acting is so good in this particular show, I didn’t mind it as much as I might have in a pulp piece, for example. 

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - I’m very much enjoying this. Not quite as much as I initially enjoyed the JBL version. But I’m liking a lot. There’s something particularly high school teen YA angst about this IP. Even more so than something like Make it Right or Love Sick. It’s just the cringe reactions and the constant embarrassments and the roller coaster of emotions that each character goes through in every scene. I forgot how exhausting it is to be a teen.

We Are Cute (Weds iQIYI) ep 12 of 16 - We Are Cute continues to be very cute indeed. Honestly Phum doesn’t need to flirt with Peem, Peem is already in love. The learning about each other is fun, but the fact that Phum still constantly communicates via kissing is great. I love that we have a couple whose love language is smooches. TanFang endgame is my favorite, I fucking LOVE them. But... NO SINGING. Worst fake band ever? Place docked in BL standing this week for that alone.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 10 - It's fine I guess? Trash watch here.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - It’s ridiculous and they're very cute and I kind of don’t know what’s going on. But the young one getting his first dildo and skipping with excitement was utterly adorable. And it is the first rep we’ve got for such a thing in this genre. So good on you little pulp!

Only Boo! (Sun YT) ep 11 of 12 - Everything felt a little rushed and oddly paced in this episode. Not entirely sure why K came back to him. Anyway, I hope it’s all explained in the finale.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 10fin - I’ve made no secret about the fact that I haven’t been wild about this show.

Here’s a few things I enjoyed about the final episode: Uke initiated the sex scene!! Lots of tenderness. Long takes plus the absence of (and then very gentle introduction of) music. Unexpectedly high heat. Condom rep! The gayest bedroom layout ever. What I didn’t like: The absolute pinnacle of frustration for P'ABL on the other side of the screen wanting to grab the leads and shake them until their teeth rattled and scream "FOR THE LOVE, just TALK to each other!"  Oh but they are so cute and SO POLITE when the finally do reconcile! 

In conclusion:

A BL about the making of a BL where the famous one has a crush on the obscure one. It’s already been done.  Recently. By Japan. I would be tempted to say "better" but I didn’t like the first version either. At least this was less stalkery? Look, this show was fine. Just, in a word: cool, unengaging, and frustrating. OK that was 3 words. But they’re apt. A lackluster offering with a great ending. How to rate that? I despaired but ended up on 7/10 - do better Japan, I know you can.

Blue Boys (Korea YouTube) - it got its part 2, thank the BL gods, rounding this one into an 8 ep series. Still short (those eps barely scrape 10 min at most) but a solid little offering.

Charming reunion romance full of class + coming out struggles and great chemistry all of which was let down by a curtailed length. Had it just been given some legs, it could have grown wings and taken flight, but in the end it is simply too short. Still enjoyable and certainly worth your time. Cause ya don't need much of it. 8/10 RECOMMENDED

It's airing but...

The Last Time (Thai Fri YT?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Can't find it.

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ???) 10 eps - I've put the search on hold for a bit and y'all can let me know if it's worth tracking down.

In case you missed it

I mean you were under a rock on Tues Jan 18th Thailand's senate passed the Marriage Equality Bill. As of typing this, the King still has to sign it into law, but he's unlikely to veto. So it's a matter of time before everything is official. Thailand follows Nepal (2024) and Taiwan (2019). Both of those were judicial, Thailand's is legislative.

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru 2 AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai 2 Haime! (Japan movie) - Continued the (frankly) lackadaisical story from part 1 and was meant to drop yesterday. We thought maybe Gaga, but nothing so far.

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. Devastated this hasn't had international distribution.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Last of the June Releases

6/26 The Rebound (Thai Weds Gaga) - MeenPing are back in their 3rd BL together, a basketball based romance (Meen was a national basketball player, so yay for that). I like this pair better than most (I still do miss Meen with Est but Est has a fantastic looking new BL coming from GMMTV so yeah...) Anyway I'm up for a sports romance starring a man who, yah know, actually played that sport so... I'm game (pun intended).

6/26 I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) 10 eps - A new series adaptation of beloved yaoi I Hear the Sunspot (first adaptation was feature film Silhouette of Your Voice 2017).

6/30 The Trainee (Thailand Sun YouTube) 12 eps- office romance between a boss/employee featuring OffGun. Taking over Boo's spot for GMMTV.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Lip touch! So sexy. So rare from Korea. Blue Boys.

I do love a meta call out moment.

Tiny idiots (affectionate)

Love their kisses. Such a great side couple.

All Wandee.

(Last week)

QUICK NOTE: I'm flying international back next weekend and the damn thing is gonna take like 72 hours or whatever insanity. Needless to say, I may not get to this round-up for ages. So don't panic, I'm not dead just sleeping.

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[speedybeta]

Being the sixth member of Beta squad

PART 2 , MASTERLIST 𖦹ׂ 𓈒 ／ ⋆ ۪

A/n This was inspired by another post I saw so if it sounds like I'm copying I'm not I just got inspired by them. The reader is female in this. Also sorry if this doesn't sound accurate I tried my best. There's nothing romantic in this I view this as a platonic post but you could view it however you want. Sorry if this is cringe

Let's say you joined beta squad when it first started. Maybe you know Sharky for a long time and we're introduced to the others then instantly clicked

At first you were hesitant when you were invited to join. But you made the decision to join, which changed your life forever

They weren't friends they were family to you

They'd always look out for you like you were their little sister

You had a bond with each and one of them. You would hang out off camera and talk to them whenever

So much teasing

If you're the youngest they'd sometimes joke about it regarding the age

If you're shorter than AJ you both get teased and made fun of

If you're taller, my gosh AJ would be an absolute joke of the group for being shorter than you

They are all overprotective and view you as a little sister. They want you to be safe and want what's best for you

Maybe they had a little crush on you before..

Being close friends with Nella, Darkest and Filly. You all are good friends

You and Chunkz are the duo who cooks with each other.

You, Kenny, and Sharky being the duo in the jungle video that makes the video 10x entertaining

Niko and you are absolutely hilarious together and people fear you both for your pranks and the type of content you both make

You and Aj being the ones who get teased the most

But you and AJ sometimes have a violation battle over the stupidest things

Your Kenny's number one support. You'd work out with him and keep him company during his training and encourage him

Chunkz and you are super loud and chaotic. But he sometimes brings you around to his family dinners and lets you hang out with his family

Sharky's sisters love you. I imagined you doing Shakira's makeup on stream before

Also feel like AJ is more comfortable with you and will sometimes hug you (like in the mukbang video where he was hugging Chunkz when Sharky was laughing at him almost drowning )

They'd never do anything without you

They would never admit it but they're your biggest supporters and would give you their honest opinions about decisions you make

They definitely would try to be annoying commenting rude things on your Instagram posts

Them being rude to you as a joke but fans take it seriously and make dramatic edits about it. (Just like the AJ edits but 10x dramatic)

When you all lived together you would always cook for them so they wouldn't always order take out everyday

They loved your cooking and sometimes show up to your house uninvited just for you to cook for them

Unless you're a bad cook, I could imagine you attempting to cook but end up burning the food. Which leads to them making fun of you for it and it becomes a huge joke

You and Harry pinaro having the worst relationship ever to the point where people actually think you two hate each other

You two don't get along (I love/hate Harry)

In the weakest link videos I feel like you'd get the hardest questions since everyone knows you have the most intelligence out of all of them

Sometimes when a person collaborates with the channel and they end up flirting and the boys would either tease or get weirded out

I feel like they'd tease depending on the person

If it was stormzy, KSI, or anyone else they'd definitely get weirded out by it

If it was Trent they'd tease you about it till the day you die. They'd bring it up in almost every sports related conversation or video.

You being the mom of the group and making sure everyone is okay. You'd text them everyday to make sure they're doing fine

Since you're a fan favorite and have good video ideas, they like to hear your opinion in videos since you're actually smart and your videos get a lot of views.

Chunkz gets jealous over the fact your Smarter than him

Unless your dumb

you win come dine with me and Niko gets absolutely so upset that you won over him. He accused you of cheating and supposedly hiring someone to cook the meals you made

Them calling you for advice before dates and advice about girls in general. They come to you when they need help with any life situations since they know they could trust you

(Niko definitely would ask u advice if his girlfriend ever got mad at him)

Speaking of his girlfriend, you two are best friends.

if you ever got in a relationship they'd do a full integration on them

They want what's best for you. They have to know what type of person you're dating and need to know if they're treating you right. It's their job to make sure their friend is happy and in a healthy relationship. Especially if you're like a sister to them

If you're ever feeling down they do anything to try to make you laugh or brighten up your mood

Imagine filming the box video with amp

You leaving the box after AJ left since you landed on leave the box. But you genuinely felt like Niko had a better chance at winning since he won the first one

But if one of the amp members flirts with you they'd get weirded out and annoyed because everyone knows how amp is (love amp though especially Chris & agent)

I don't say they would be jealous, they just feel like they should protect you from getting your heart broken

Or maybe they do get jealous (up to you to decide)

In the cooking video for amp channel let's say you and Duke teamed up (sorry filly)

Duke is Duke so obviously he flirted with you trying to get your number and use his cringe "rizz" on you

But before the video, you, Chris, and Davis had a conversation. You gave them advice, out of all the amp members they connected with you the most

But the amp cook off was chaotic especially with you

You actually tried for half the challenge before giving up and just having fun. It was better to just entertain the viewers instead of actually trying to win

You decided to annoy everyone by moving their stuff

I imagine you, aj, fanum, and Niko get in an argument and start throwing flour each other

you and Duke losing which leads to you threatening the person who switched out everyone's cakes

you and Niko both manage the beta squad Instagram and tiktok since you know all the popular trends

Even though everyone is behind Instagram and tiktok, you are mostly the one posting on it, and the one who replies to comments

Niko and you are both know for being menaces and immature. Especially when you two are filming together, you both make the most craziest pranks. Your friendship with him is so adorable and wholesome. You both always joke around and add on to each other's jokes to make it more funny. Always having laugh attacks with him.

You and Chunkz are literally the duo who randomly burst into a song together. You two both send songs to each other and both show a huge interest in music. I like to imagine you and Chunkz going on a drive or just hanging out to sing to music. You two also know a lot of people and are the ones who know a lot of celebrities. You two are the ones who message famous people to Collab with the Beta squad.

You and AJ love hating on each other, even though he'll leave positive messages on your Instagram to be funny, he bashes you and insults you at the same time. It's a bit confusing at times to tell if you're completing each other or insulting. But you two never get offended and know when to stop.

Man, you and Kenny have such a bond. You were his biggest supporter during his Boxing matches and Practices. If you love to work out or get exercise, you both go to the gym together or you'll go on diets with him so he won't be alone. He always goes to you for advice on girls. You two laugh at the random things and can't take anything serious. You and him always are always whispering things to each other during filming.

Sharky and you are known to laugh so hard where you can't even breathe. You two laugh in serious situations and always look at each other before bursting out laughing. He likes to drag you outside for a walk and just listen to music with each other. Similar to Chunkz, he sends you songs that he thinks you'll like.

overall the boys are grateful for you and everything you've done for them. You're like family to them. They all love you. They are family, not just a friend group to you. They love you and always will.

━━━━━━ ━━━━━━ ━━━━━━ ━━━━━━ ━━━━━━

Note: Uhm so I'm working on a Niko agnst fic so please give me ideas for it because I'm kinda concerned on if it isn't good enough

I hope this is good!! I tried my best 😭 I had fun writing this since I wish for a friend group like them and always imagined what it would be like to be in the beta squad. I might make a part two but idk yet 💚 I kinda rushed the ending and put random things down. Lmk if I should add something or you have any suggestions or headcanons I should make

[derangedanomaly]

so, what if you do a Comedian reader x Classic, Nightmare, Cross, Dust, and Killer?

(You can add horror if you want, I just would've guessed he'd be delusional to the jokes the reader makes)

AU SANSES X COMEDIAN READER

(Classic, Nightmare, Cross, Dust, Killer)

Classic:

Oh, looks like Sans found his soulmate!

The first time you told him a joke, he swore that he fell in love. Even more when you told him more.

There's never a dull moment between you two! Always cracking up jokes. (Papyrus might be going a little crazy from your puns 💀)

Is going on all of your comedy shows. Every. single. one. Don't worry, he wouldn't miss this, EVER. In return for him going on your shows, you're going to his! :)

Slowly, but surely, becomes your fan. He has your jokes memorized at this point.

No matter how much he's heard your jokes, he'll always laugh.

You give each other tips for jokes. (Each one more ridiculous, but you guys find it funny 💀)

Well, what else can I say? You're just two cuties.

Nightmare:

Rolls his eyes at your jokes. Is really not all that impressed...

Nightmare's more of a fan of dark humor, so the right way to get to him, is by telling him a dark joke.

Trust me, it'll take EVERYTHING in him to not laugh at that joke.

You decided to take on the challenge. Beginning your plan to make the king of darkness laugh.

You send many dark jokes his way, which cracked him up. But he was still holding back.

After this, he got curious and decided to go to see your comedy show. It wasn't really for him, since he doesn't share the same sense of humor, but it wasn't that bad. (Bro's actually complimenting you? 😯)

From this day forward, he'll be going to your shows undercover. (Doesn't want to get caught lacking 💀)

Cross:

Bros a lil emo, so he'll probably act like your puns are not growing on him. (They are)

You once offered to take him to see your comedy show. He denied. 🙄

After you left to your show, Cross literally LEAPED from the couch and ran to see your show! He just needed to know if your jokes are as hilarious on stage as it is in real life.

He can't lie...but he laughed his ass off over there.

He immediately paid for the next show, with you not finding out he was even there!

He can't let you know that he's really not all that mysterious! That would be embarrassing.. ;)

Loves your puns! But you'll never find out.

Killer:

He's that one type of monster to yell; "LMAO, LMFAO, LOL" out loud. His cringe ass always gets you💀🙏🏻

He'll be so proud of you! Look at you, running your own shows, bringing people joy. He's so supportive.

"YOU SEE THAT HUMAN UP THERE!? THAT'S MY HUMAN!"

You would often find yourself embarrassed on stage cause of him...

The first time he found out about you having a show, he immediately wanted to see! (Even after you denied him multiple times)

He never stops encouraging you after that. It's always one praise after another. (I need him in my life bro 😭)

Is willing to punch someone just for you, so if there would be someone creepy, trying to get a feel of you, he won't hesitate to kill him.

Dust:

He's probably the one that encouraged you to start your own show.

Look, maybe he's a little emo...but he's not that big of an emo to not at least let out laughs at your jokes.

Out of all the bad sanses, Dust is probably the one that's the most closest to his original self. (Classic) So it's not a big surprise when he starts saying his own jokes back to you.

He was the one that also helped you make your dream into reality. (Since it was his idea.)

Truly proud of you when you're on stage. Also compliments you, but not as much as Killer. Look, he doesn't wanna embarrass you. 🤷‍♀️

"Hey, you see that human up there, on the stage? The star of the show??" "Uhm...yeah?" "Heh.. that's my partner.." Cue the scene of Dust looking up at you, with a dorky look on his face. "WHAT?!"

Your fans were never the same after that. You and Dust became the targets of what's called, shipping.

Not like Dust wasn't enjoying the thought of you two being a thing ;)

[kianaisspiraling]

*inhales*

WILD LIFE WILD LIFE WILDLIFEWILDLIFEWIL—

Okay okay so so far I've only watched Grian's pov but I'm gonna be binging soooo many others right after this.

First off- Skizz, Mumbo and Grian is just. Such an unexpected and silly group, I love them. Skizz, loyal to the bone. Grian, loyal but can switch sides if needed; won't betray you first. And Mumbo; the least loyal guy on the server, goes completely bonkers the moment he turns red

They also all just like. Carry themselves so seriously? But will very quickly devolve into being incredibly silly? So so silly. They will NOT last long, they're gonna fall apart faster than the Southlands for sure with the cheating allegations Mumbo is throwing at Grian, but it'll be hilarious :)

Grian: apologizing for knowing the wild cards beforehand

Me: smiles and adds it to the pile of Watcher Grian lore

Moving on from them:

*inhales again*

MISSING DOG FOUND-?!?

AND WE GOT TREEBARK BACK!!!!!! :D

The sheer happiness I felt when I saw Ren back oh my void, we missed you buddy. Martyn immediately pairing up with Ren whenever they are on the same server has my heart. They're theatre kids your honor. Can't wait to see Ren pull out his guitar <3

We also have TEAM CRINGE-FAIL-?! Lizzie, Scar, Jimmy all on the same team-? That's amazing. It would be hilarious if THIS is the season Tim wins. SURELY having such a high concentration of loser (affectionate) energy will circle around to make them clutch. Surely. It's their moment.

Smth smth, Lizzie and Scar were the only two people alone last season. Smth smth, Lizzie died first and Scar last. Smth smth, Scar reaches out an unconditional hand to Lizzie, offering her an ally because he knows what it's like to be without. Smth smth, Lizzie accepts because she knows waiting for allies leads to none. They're friends now :)

I also heard Scar brought the reputation points back?? If that's true then oml we're so close to getting a Third Life parody. So so close, especially with Scar falling off a cliff and dying while singing, claiming that everything that touches the light is his. It is SUCH a good season for us folks that never left the desert. Bonus points if Grian ends up with Scar after the Sub-One Club inevitably crumbles.

We've ALSO got the op, terrifying duo of Gem and Joel. They are going to be SO unhinged. They will be the chaos group this season, mark my words. They will inevitably fuck shit up and I am WAITING for it. Manifesting Gem or Joel win >:)

And over here we've got three of the divorce quartet (Scott, Pearl, and Cleo) allied with the local supportive dad (Impluse). Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone outside or in between, we once again have the girls, the gays, and ImpulseSV. Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss, girldad <3

The three of them just reminiscing on Double Life while Impulse stays quiet, internally remembering his little life in the suburbs with Bdubs as they stirred the pot and watched drama unfold. He DOES NOT have anything to add to this conversation on messy divorce.

Also apparently Scott canonically believes that HE'S the reason Jimmy broke the canary curse and Scar won in secret life?? Because he stopped them from allying together last season or something?? That's just wonderful to me. I don't think he's entirely wrong either, they would've destroyed each other SO quickly

Now, getting on to BigB and whatever he's got going on. Something DEFINITELY happened to him in that hole last season, because he is getting increasingly cryptic. OF COURSE he would live in the Pale Garden with the Creaking. Where else would he go??

I absolutely love everyone making BigB a Creaking hybrid, but hear me out: BigB has ALSO been made a watcher by the fandom in previous seasons because of things like the Nosy Neighbors in Limited Life and his Whole Thing in Secret Life, right? You know what the Watchers are often compared to? Biblically accurate angels. You know what the Creaking has been compared to? Weeping Angels. BigB is a Weeping Angel.

(Maybe Weeping Angels are a type of Watcher. they're closely related to the Creaking; perhaps they made it?)

(I have not watched Doctor Who, though I'd like to. All I know is that Weeping Angels are VERY Watcher-core to me <3)

Finally we have a classic trio of Etho, Bdubs, and Tango. They're taming horses, they're non-stop bickering, they DO NOT share, it's every man for themselves. Tango is third wheeling Ethubs so much rn. They get on each other's nerves. They're besties, after all they keep putting themselves together no matter how much they bicker. Team BET ily <3

Love that Etho IMMEDIATELY tries to ally with the local Watcher for inside information, but Grian refuses to give it to him. It was worth a shot, buddy. I adore every second of screen time in which Grian and Etho interact. They are SUCH a good duo for me. One Stick Wither and Etho's Dishwasher, you will forever be famous <3

Anyhow, I think that covers everything I have to say for now, having watched one pov and scrolled Tumblr for a while. I cannot WAIT for this season, as there's a lot of stuff from previous seasons coming back, with Renchanting, the divorce quartet, Scar bringing back reputation points, and more. I can't wait to see this unfold :D

[jay-m3]

The lid!

Imagine them trying to open a jar for you only for them to fail.

Male reader insert! * Cursing and suggestive language This was also inspired by another post from someone but idk their username. Pls help me find them so I can tag!

Characters: Vox, Valentino, Adam, Alastor, Lucifer

Vox

He would roll his eyes when you ask him for help. At first, he would pretend he didn’t hear you. Secretly watching you fail at a simple task in life. How pathetic can one be? He takes the jar, looking at you, lecturing you about focusing more on training your arms instead of laying around all day-

What the fuck? He huffs, relaxing his grip before twisting once more, continuing to throw insults-

Like what the actual fucking hell! He turns his back to you, leaning forward for more strength. He grunts as his grip slips once more.

"Uh, Vox? It's fine I'll figure something out-" You reach out, hearing him start to glitch before the noise of glass breaking is heard. You look over to see that the top part of the glass is still sealed shut but the bottom half was shattered by his grip.

"Oh, come on!"

Valentino

He'll giggle watching you struggle in trying to open a jar with no success. Sliding back on his couch as he hears his lovely little boy toy grunting and sighing in frustration. It's like music to his ears. If he closes his eyes, he can imagine you in positions that will have you sounding like that.

"Val." The sound of his name wakes him up from his daze as a jar was held in his face. Chuckling, he takes the jar with his lower hands while his upper arms spread over the back of the couch. He looks at you in a haughty manner-

Eye twitching once he fails in opening the jar, he grabs it with his upper hands now. They had more strength since-

Gritting his teeth, he stands up and holds the jar close before using two hands in twisting-

"Fuck!" You cringe as he throws the bottle across the room.

Adam

He laughs and laughs and luaghs. Tears in his eyes as he watches you struggle on trying to open a damn jar. How hilarious! He should record this shit.

"Here, you try!" You shove the jar into his hands. Tired of him laughing.

"Let me show you a real man strength." He snorts out, putting out his arms out to show you how easy it will pop off-

Sniffling, he adjust his grip to a firmer one. Grunting when his hand slips off of the damn thing.

"Fucking shitty ass stupid jar!" He yells out in frustration as his multiple attempts fail him. Once you let out a chuckle, he lets go of the jar, letting it fall to the ground.

"It's fucking rigged."

Alastor

He lets out a chuckle, leaning against the counter with his hand supporting his head as he watches in fascination. Each tactic you try to pull off fail and the lid of the jar sits in victory.

"What a wonderful display of an ordeal you're going through my dear." His voice filters through in a cheerful tone as a laughing track blares out.

"Then you do it." He grabs the jar from you, pulling in the slightly big jar close to his body before trying to pop the lid off and failing. His smile widens with a grit as he places the jar down and tries again, eye twitching as the lid still remains in place.

The sound of the door opening caught your attention for a split second before turning back to Alastor-

Where did he go?

Lucifer

His eyebrows furrowed in curiosity as he looks at a jar inside a bowl of water. What is this?

"Uh, (M/n), what is this?" You tell him about how you couldn't open the jar so you looked up a method on how. The solution is to leave a jar in warm water for at least 10 minutes to soften the lid. So far, it needs 8 more minutes. He nods before a cheshire grin makes his way on his lips.

"Since I'm here, you don't have to wait much longer." He grabs the jar, from the water and twist the jar to pop it-

"Hehe, uh, slippery." He nervously chuckles, wiping it down before trying again. Seeing as it won't budge, he smiles at you with false joy.

"Give me a second, handsome." He quickly turns around, using his magic before it pops open.

"Ta-da! What can't the King of hell can't do?"

[nochukoo97]

i will never not think about you

Pairing: Soccer Player!Jungkook x Reader

Summary: req: “May I request something, please? I'd like it to be a JK x reader enemies to lovers fic, when he hears you defending him when someone badmouths about him” alsoo JK PLAYS THE GUITAR HERE for reader 🥺🥺

Word Count: 1.3k+

a/n: this was a request sent to me and i turned out to really like it so i made it a fic to put on my main masterlist HAHAHA ❤️

You and Jungkook were notoriously known for despising each other, he often found ways to pick at you and annoy you, to which you retaliate back twice the amount.

Everytime he would see you, Jungkook always had something irritating to say, the type that would make you roll your eyes at his endless teasing.

But yet Jungkook seemed too perfect for you to find anything to tease him about, he was the school’s star soccer player, had top grades, and he had his values and morals straight. The only downside to this boy was that he could not leave you alone for the life of him.

As much as you “hated” him and envied his perfect conduct, there was this small feeling inside that you constantly pushed away: The sparks you felt in your chest when Jungkook was around you.

You would never let yourself even begin to think about that. It didn’t make sense to you, both you and Jungkook despised each other, so you pushed away those feelings, embarrassed that they had even come about.

———————————————

The canteen is bustling with noise and chaos as students walk into the area, rushing to reserve their seats and buying their food.

Luckily for you and Chaeyong, you had been dismissed early from class and managed to get there before the huge crowd appeared.

You listen to the conversations being carried out at the table with Chaeyong and some of her other friends, of which you weren’t too familiar with, but you gave you input here and there, finding their gossip quite hilarious.

“Oh my gosh~” Mina says, “And then she literally- wait shit that’s Jungkook coming this way!” She squeals as you internally cringe at her reaction.

Another thing about Jungkook was that he was popular amongst the girls, which was what you assumed gave him his ego.

“Hi ___” Jungkook sends you a boyish grin as he slides into the empty seat next to you. You frown at him as you also hear Chaeyong’s friends squeal amongst themselves.

“What?” You grumble as you look back at your plate of food, not in the mood to put up with a fight with him.

But you don’t have time to react when Jungkook slides out of the seat, grabbing his tray, but also using his chopsticks to grab a piece of meat from your plate.

“Jeon Jungkook!” You shout as he walks away grinning from ear to ear with his tray, heading to another table where his teammates sat. You groan as Chaeyong attempts to console you.

“___ why do you even bother to interact with him? He’s such a douchebag and I’m pretty sure he’s a dick, I don’t even think he’s that good at soccer and honestly he’s only popular because of his looks, nothing else,” One of Chaeyong’s friends, Jisu, mocks.

You immediately frown at her words, upset at what she had blatantly just said. “First of all, who are you to say that? Jungkook is literally the top player of our school’s soccer team and he obviously has the skill. If he heard you say that I can guarantee he will not be happy,” You say back at her.

Jisu isn’t quite the happiest at your response either, “Well my boyfriend, Chanyeol, can easily pick a fight with him if he dares to do anything, Jungkook won’t stand a chance,” She scoffs, clearly agitated.

“I can tell you one thing, Jungkook will not lose a fight with anyone here, he’s so strong your boyfriend won’t even be able to stand if they got into a fight, don’t try to use you boyfriend to defend yourself because it’ll never work,” And with that you stand up and take your tray to another table, not wanting to be around Jisu anymore.

Little did you know Jungkook had been standing behind the pillar next to your table and listening to every word you had said.

————————————————

Fast forward a week later, you find yourself stuck with being partners with guess who? Jeon Jungkook.

Your chemistry teacher must have played a sick prank on you both for pairing the two of you up for a project.

So that’s how you’re currently sitting on the floor of Jungkook’s bedroom, as he furiously types away on his laptop.

“Are you just going to sit there and stare into blank space or actually help me over here?” Jungkook looks up at you from his laptop, frowning slightly.

“You play guitar?” You ignore his question as you point to the guitar sitting on a stand in the corner of his room.

“Yeah, okay now back to the project,” Jungkook hastily replies, pushing your laptop towards you in hopes of getting you back on track.

Instead you frown as you push the laptop back, clearly uninterested in the project at the moment.

“Can you play a song for me?” You softly ask, not recognising your own voice. It was as if your underlying feelings for him had suddenly taken over your consciousness.

Jungkook slightly raises his eyebrow, surprised at your tone and your request but complies, as he puts his laptop aside and walks to get the guitar.

“What song do you want me to play?” Jungkook asks, after he expertly tunes the guitar.

“Never Not by Lauv, that’s my favourite,” You giggle as Jungkook playfully rolls his eyes, knowing that he’s heard the same song so many times before.

When Jungkook starts to strum and sing the song, you begin to gaze at him with admiration, heart thumping loudly in your chest as you listen to his honey-like voice ring throughout the room.

And when he finishes, your eyes light up as you praise him, “Oh my gosh that was so good Gguk, thank god you’re at least good at one thing,” You tease him towards the end, not noticing the pet name slipping out of your mouth.

Jungkook looks at you in amusement, not commenting how your “Gguk” made his heart almost explode in his chest.

“I’m pretty good at other things you know, Miss ‘Jungkook is good at soccer and he can beat your boyfriend up’ ” Jungkook laughs, seeing your shocked face.

“I- How- Wait! How do you-” You stutter through words as your jaw drops, “And that’s not what I said anyways!” You whine as you slap his arm.

“Well I just rephrased whatever you said because it seemed like you had a lot of good things to say about me,” Jungkook smirks at you as he puts down the guitar and walks towards your seated figure.

He approaches you and closes the gap between you two, causing you to panic and inch back further, only to be restricted by his bed behind you.

Now the only thing you could feel was Jungkook’s bed frame against your back and his whispering in your ear,

“Didn’t know Miss ‘I hate Jungkook’ loved me so much, hmm?” His breath hits your ear as he whispers, your cheeks turning to a horrible shade of red, breathing staggered.

Jungkook pulls back to stare at your reaction, but you can’t bring yourself to even look at him, letting your gaze fall to your fidgeting hands on your lap.

But the boy has other plans, when he lifts your chin with his fingers, connecting your lips together as you gasp at the sudden move.

“Relax baby,” Jungkook mumbles through the kiss, taking your hands and bringing them up to wrap around his neck.

You slowly began to relax into the kiss, unable to process how unimaginable this was.

When Jungkook breaks away from the kiss, you both look at each other, slightly panting.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered,” Jungkook coos as he laughs when you frown and slap his chest.

“Okay now sit here,” He pats the ground next to him, “I need to teach my girlfriend how to play my guitar”

[toboldlygohome]

Oblivious

Leonard McCoy x Reader

Summary: You are oblivious to all of Leonard's attempts to flirt and all of your friends think it's hilarious.

Character(s): Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James "Jim" Kirk, Spock, Nyota Uhura, Pavel Chekov, Hikaru Sulu

Warning(s): Slightly cringe attempts at flirting, Painfully oblivious reader, Stephen King references

Leonard was finally ready to move on. The divorce had left him with wounds he wasn't sure he could heal from. He hadn't been interested in dating for years afterward. But for the first time since then, someone had caught his attention.

You were the new head of Archaeology aboard the enterprise. You had been transferred from the USS Celine to assist in the 5 year mission. To say you were new wouldn't be exactly correct, you had been on board for about 6 months already. You had taken to the position well and were already good friends with everyone in your unit, as well as all of the bridge and command personnel.

Leonard knew he liked you the moment you met. You had a firm handshake, a killer smile, and when Captain Kirk asked if you were single, you told him it wasn't his business. Jim's stunned face when you shook his hand and walked away was priceless.

Of course there were far more reasons to admire you other than your ability to take the captain down a peg. You were incredible at your job, finding ancient ruins in the most unlikely of places. You were like a dog when it came to fossils, sniffing them out almost as soon as you landed on alien soil. You were smart and always ready to answer questions. You were also highly tolerant of people's mistakes, something that was slowly rubbing off on him. When you were around, Leonard found he had more patience for stupidity and everyone else noticed as well.

You were kind, you were a great listener, you were hilarious, you were dependable, considerate, honest, cheerful, and you could always be counted upon for some witty banter. Not to mention you were the most beautiful person Bones had ever seen in his life.

That's not to say you didn't have your downfalls too, everyone does after all. You were self deprecating, a little easily distracted, and of course you were the most painfully oblivious person in the universe.

~~~

It all started one morning at breakfast. You were sitting in the cafeteria with Jim, Nyota, and Spock.

Leonard had made his decision the previous night while drinking with Jim. Bones wanted to pursue a relationship with you, but he wasn't going to just tell you point blank. He wanted to gauge your interest before taking that leap of faith.

"Mornin'" Leonard said as he sat down beside you. "Jim, you look terrible."

Jim, who was still hung over from the night before, frowned at the doctor. "Gee, thanks. I had no idea."

"You're welcome. Now Y/N on the other hand, you look great this morning," Bones smirked. Jim and Nyota immediately perked up, clearly not expecting him to be so forward (especially not this early in the morning.)

"Thanks Doc," You smiled at him and returned your attention to your oatmeal.

"What's your secret?" Asked Bones upon deciding that your smile was a good sign.

"My secret?" You raised an eyebrow.

"To looking so good every morning," he clarified. Nyota and Jim looked at each other incredulously.

"Ummmm," You thought out loud. "Get good sleep, take your vitamins, and don't get wasted at two in the morning." You patted Jim's shoulder and stood up with your empty bowl. "I better get to the lab, see you guys later!" You grinned.

Everyone bid you a good morning before gawking at Leonard, amusement etched on their faces. "What's your secret? Did you seriously ask 'what's your secret?'"Jim cackled.

"Leonard, you seriously need to up your flirting game." Uhura barely stifled a giggle.

"I know it's been awhile doc but seriously, that was terrible! And I've heard Spock's attempts at flirting," Kirk snickered.

"It wasn't that bad, y'all are acting like I'm some cretin who stole their oatmeal and called it flirting. I called them attractive, get off my back." Leonard rolled his eyes.

"No, you said they looked good. That could be interpreted in, so many ways. As far as flirting goes, that was pretty pathetic." Nyota said.

"I would have to agree doctor, perhaps you could take instruction from the captain or even-" Spock started.

"Shut up and eat your breakfast," Leonard snapped, causing another fit of giggles around him.

Bones sat there, glaring into his eggs, trying to figure out where he went wrong. The more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed that Uhura was right. You didn't realize he meant it in a romantic way. Maybe he was more out of practice than he thought. He was just going to have to give it another shot. Practice makes perfect after all.

~~~

The next day, Leonard tried a different approach. Coffee mug in hand, he made his way to your office only to find it empty. He looked all over the labs, nowhere to be seen. It wasn't until made it up to the bridge that he found you deep in a discussion about landing sites for an upcoming mission.

Your head perked up when you saw the doctor come in from the turbolift. "Ahoy, McCoy! We missed you at breakfast this morning." you smiled as he came to stand beside you.

"Sorry darlin', had some gamma shift engineers to patch up." Bones casually passed the mug over to you. "Made you some coffee."

"Really? for me?" You peered into the cup and beamed, "thank you doctor, it's just how I like it!" Jim gave Leonard a subtle thumbs up while you sipped your drink.

Leonard had a good feeling this time. You were happy with the gesture and even Kirk seemed impressed. It felt like a good first step, until-

"First Chekov brings me a croissant, then McCoy brings me a coffee. I'm so lucky to have such great friends. Thank you guys!" You smiled at the two men.

"You are very welcome!" Pavel grinned.

Leonard's mood plummeted almost instantly. While he was glad you got to enjoy a croissant and a coffee, Chekov's untimely generosity made his romantic gesture seem more like a friendly one. He was going to have to go back to the drawing board.

You turned to the captain, cradling your warm cup in your hand. "Is there anything else you need of me Captain?"

"No Commander, I believe you've answered all my questions," Jim said.

"Wonderful! If anyone needs me, I'll be in the lab trying to decode some ancient texts," you took another sip of your coffee before strolling back to the turbolift.

Once you were out of sight, Jim patted Leonard on the arm. Sulu and Chekov were trying their damnedest not to laugh, and failing miserably of course.

Leonard furrowed his brows at the two of them before looking back at Jim's cheeky grin.

"You told them?" Leonard scowled.

"Told them what?" Jim laughed.

"About..." Leonard rolled his eyes and gestured to the turbolift.

"The only ones I told were Uhura and Spock," Jim assured.

"He didn't need to tell us anything, It's written all over your face Dr. McCoy," Sulu said.

"Yes, you get all red in the cheeks and you have this look in your eyes like you've seen the sun for the first time. It is very obvious you are vying for the Commander's attention," Chekov agreed.

"If I'm so obvious, why isn't Y/N picking up on it?" Leonard crossed his arms.

"Maybe you need a new approach, try... I don't know, making up new excuses to spend time with them. Or maybe you could try touching them," Jim suggested.

"Touching them?"

"Yeah, nothing inappropriate or anything. Just little things, like pats on the back, nudging their shoulder. Stuff like that. Might show Y/N you're interested without having to use the words, you know?"

"I don't know Jim..."

"Look, you're a doctor right?"

"I hope that'd be pretty goddamned obvious by now," Leonard glowered and put his hands on his hips.

"And as a doctor, you have a pretty good gauge on if someone's uncomfortable right?" Jim asked, "just try it and if you get the sense they're uncomfortable, just stop doing it. Easy as that."

"Why do I get the feeling it's not going to be as 'easy as that?'" The doctor shook his head.

"Because you are an incorrigible pessimist, Bones." Jim patted his shoulder.

"I'm done here, some of us actually have work to do," Leonard grumbled and trudged to the turbolift.

"All work and no play makes McCoy a dull boy," Kirk beamed.

"Quote Stephen King to me one more time. See what happens." Bones said as the doors closed. Alone in the elevator, he allowed himself to think about where to go from here. Perhaps Jim's ideas weren't so terrible. He rather liked the idea of spending more time with you. He usually talked with you during mealtimes and meetings, but not much outside of that. The touching is what was making him nervous.

He came into contact with people all the time, being a doctor was a very hands-on profession. He just didn't have Jim's level of confidence anymore. It felt ridiculous, he could stitch a man's thumb back to his hand and deliver an infant in the middle of a battle, but he couldn't touch your shoulder? Maybe he'd just skip that step for now. Quality time, that seemed like as good of a direction as any.

~~~

He continued bringing you coffee every day, It gave him more time to get to know you and Leonard was falling harder by the minute. He hadn't really looked forward to anything in a long time, but he looked forward to your coffee talks. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough anymore. The chats weren't long enough and you still weren't catching on to his feelings.

It had been a particularly stressful day, it felt like everyone needed something from him and he was in desperate need of a break. The moment things got quiet in the medbay, Leonard snuck away and his feet carried him to the archaeology labs.

It was quiet inside. A few ensigns were at work in their stations, putting together fossilized bones and carbon-dating old tools. Leonard found you in the back of the lab where you were busy decoding some old scrolls. Learning to understand a lost language was no easy task; Leonard couldn't fathom the amount of reading it would take to accomplish such a thing. Still, you seemed ready to take on anything the Captain dished out.

"Commander, I see you're hard at work," Bones smiled and came to stand beside you.

"I see you're not!" You joked and looked up at him from your seat. "What brings you to my neck of the woods doctor? Did I forget about an appointment?"

"Not at all, I was just taking a break and wanted to see how you were doing," he said, hoping you would understand what he was trying to say: that he was thinking of you and wanted to see you out of everyone else on the Enterprise.

"Well I'm really glad you're here Len, because I've just made a breakthrough!" You beamed. "Take a look at this," you motioned for him to look closer.

Leonard leaned in to look at your scroll. "So, you know how I found these papers in a box under the Mofeli excavation right?"

"Mhm, you insisted there must be a basement and you found one," Bones hummed.

"I originally thought the site was a business, that these papers must be some sort of documentation. You know, like land deeds, proof of insurance, perhaps even money. Basically stuff you would usually keep in a lock box, but these aren't ledgers or inventory slips or anything like that at all."

"What are they?" He turned to look at you.

You met his gaze and gave him a grin that could melt the ice caps and outshine Sirius. "They're love letters," you said and his heart hammered his chest painfully. He was only just now realizing how close he was to you. How his hand was resting on your back, how his face was mere inches from yours.

"See, if you look here you'll find this symbol all over the place in these letters. It's the symbol meaning love or lover. I've completed the translation on this one right here." You returned your attention to the paper. Leonard swallowed and glanced at the sheet, trying his damnedest not to stare like some creep.

"What, um... what does it say?" He cleared his throat.

"It says, and I'm paraphrasing here, 'My dearest love, I find words elude me. My heart blossoms for you under the light of the sun and keeps me warm when the light fades. I find not the courage to speak, but many a whim to write. I desire your embrace. I seek your song. I crave your hand. I covet your blazing eyes. One day I-' This part is all faded so I can't make it out, but the last thing it says here at the bottom is 'May our hearts and bodies be intertwined for eternity, and our souls may sing together as one.' Then there's what I assume to be a name at the bottom, but I'm not sure how to pronounce it."

"It all sounds a little sappy to me," Leonard joked in a slightly strained voice. This whole thing with the closeness and the touching and the letter was really affecting him. If you noticed his struggle, you gave no indication, In fact, you seemed perfectly at ease being this close to him.

"Hey, a little sap never hurt anybody," you elbowed him lightly in the side.

"Croakus sap can."

"Touché"

Leonard chucked softly and lightly patted your back before crossing his arms casually over his chest Your easy conversation was already helping him relax again. "so, Commander, you've been down here in your lab for an awfully long time. What do you say we go for a walk to the observation lounge?"

"Sorry doctor, I would but somebody's got to make sure the ensigns don't blow the place up. That, and Spock wants me to finish three more translations by the end of my shift," you explained.

"Of course he does," Leonard huffed.

"But I'm free this evening if that works for you?" You tilted your head.

"Of course, absolutely." Leonard had no idea if that was going to work for him, but he was going to make it work.

"Great, I'll see you then," you said with a surprising amount of enthusiasm.

"See you then. Don't work too hard," he smiled and left you to your translating.

Bones was pleased with himself. He had managed to follow Jim's suggestions and they appeared to work. He'd even managed to secure a date with you later that evening...Well...he hadn't actually called it a date when he suggested it. No matter, Leonard would just clarify all that the next time he saw you!

~~~

He never got to make the distinction that your walk was intended to be a date. You had brought a friend with you. Leonard could feel the fear in your ensign companion's eyes. Bones was sure everyone on the goddamned ship knew what he was trying to do but you. It was still a nice night despite the unwanted guest. He learned a lot about where you grew up, your interests, and your favorite films and music. He learned your favorite flower was the iris, your first job was a librarian, he even learned you were in a band during your time at the academy.

The more he learned, the more he liked you. He wasn't even sure if liked was the right word anymore. You had quite a few things in common. Your favorite foods, you liked the same movies, and you enjoyed the same music. You asked him questions that got him really thinking. They were the sort of topics you don't realize you have an opinion on until you start talking about them. But what surprised him most of all was when you asked about his daughter. What sort of interests does she have? How is she doing in school? I wonder if she would like X,Y, and Z. He was always hesitant to talk about Joanna or his ex, but it felt easier with you. Like that wound he had been carrying for so long was finally closing.

Your friendship progressed beautifully, but he felt like you were growing more and more blind to his advances. He had seen you turn plenty of people down before. If you weren't interested in someone, you made it abundantly clear. But you had yet to do the same with Bones. It wasn't just him: Jim, Nyota, Pavel, Scotty, Hikaru, and pretty much everyone else who knew you were puzzled as well. Even Spock couldn't understand how you were so incognizant. It was funny for them at first. They would laugh at every compliment you didn't register, every smile you didn't realize had meaning, every coffee, every walk to the deck, every deep conversation, every breath of relief when you come back from a mission. He was even so bold as to tell you in no uncertain terms that he'd do anything to make you smile.

The laughter turned into looks of pity. Leonard was about ready to give up. Maybe you weren't interested and you just wanted to let him down easy, you were good friends after all. Bones sat at the bar as Jim poured him another glass. Normally he was the one playing bartender, but Jim insisted he take over.

"I gotta say Bones, I really hate seeing you like this." Jim poured himself a drink too. "How did lunch go?"

"I told them they have beautiful eyes." Leonard sighed and shook his head.

"And?" The Captain probed.

"They said 'if only they worked as well as they look,'" Bones groaned.

"Ah..." Jim stared into his drink. He tried to put himself into Leonard's shoes. What would he do if he were in this situation?

"I don't know what I'm doing wrong..." McCoy muttered.

"You aren't doing anything wrong, Y/N just-" Jim started.

"It's something I'm doing, it has to be. Maybe this is a mistake."

"No, Bones it's not a mistake. That couldn't be farther from the truth."

"And how would you know? It's not like you have any problems finding dates," Leonard rolled his eyes.

"Seems like Y/N's not the only one who's oblivious," Kirk chuckled.

"I'm not in the mood for jokes Jim." Leonard took a sip of his whiskey and ran a hand over his face.

"Believe me Bones, I wish it were a joke. There's just no way the two most unaware people are head over heels for each other. I'm waiting for the punch line" James smirked.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bones scowled.

"Look, just... we have shore leave coming up in a few weeks. Ask them on a date. Like really ask them. Be frank, be clear, make sure there is no way Y/N can misunderstand you. Trust me," Jim squeezed Leonard's shoulder.

"Fine. But if this goes south, you owe me as many drinks as it takes to forget this whole debacle." The doctor downed the last of his glass.

"Bones if this goes south, I'll eat my hat."

"You don't have a hat."

"Point still stands. It'll work, you just have to have a little faith. And lucky for you, I have enough faith for the both of us." Jim winked.

Leonard wished he had Jim's enthusiasm. Officious little prick, he thought to himself...Dammit, now I'm quoting Stephen King.

~~~

Shore leave was just around the corner and Leonard was no closer to his goal of asking you on a date. Everyone was running around, trying to prepare the ship for inspection, he still had his normal duties to attend to, neither of you had time for coffee all week, Spock was being especially nitpicky about protocol, and he was anxious about what you'd say when he eventually got around to asking the million dollar question.

Yeah, Leonard was about ready to lose his marbles.

He was prepping the supply storage units, when Spock strolled in for the tenth time that day.

"Dr. McCoy," Spock greeted, startling Bones to the point that he nearly dropped his box of gauze.

"My god man, what the hell do you need this time?" Leonard implored, "don't you have anything better to do with your day than pester me?"

"Indeed I do, doctor" Spock replied.

Leonard huffed and sat down his box, "then what is it, did you miss my face or something?"

"I saw your face only moments ago, I have no need to miss-"

"It was a joke Spock, what do you want?" Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I came to inform you that I saw Commander Y/L/N coming in this direction." Spock stated.

Leonard raised an eyebrow, "and?"

"It is my understanding you are anxious to speak with them regarding your-" Spock started.

"Your understanding is correct, I just..." Leonard sighed and shook his head.

"Would it help if I told you the odds that they will say yes?" Spock asked.

"Never tell me the odds Spock," Leonard grumbled.

"Then I will simply say, good luck." Spock turned and left again, leaving Bones to decide if he was ready for this. He didn't have time for a decision, because there you were in the doorway with two mugs in your hands.

"Hey, stranger," You laughed. "Looks like I got here just in time, you look like you need some." You handed over the cup and Leonard took it gratefully.

"Thanks," Leonard offered you a smile and took a sip from his mug. It was just how he liked it, right down to the temperature. Together, they retreated to the safety of his office. Once inside, they fell into their usual conversation. He waited until things got quiet, then he decided to go for it.

"So, got any plans for shore leave?" Leonard asked, leaning back in his chair in an effort to appear more at ease.

"No, not really. Maybe I'll visit with a couple friends, catch up on sleep. How about you? got any exciting plans?" You leaned in, resting your chin on your hand.

"Not yet," he admitted. "But I'm hoping to make some."

"Oh? You got someone special in mind?" You hummed.

"Someone incredibly special, yeah." Leonard smiled. So far, so good.

"Oh, well I hope it goes well." You shifted awkwardly in your seat.

"Me too..." Leonard agreed. You both didn't speak for a moment, the distant hum of the warp core did little to tame the silence.

"Hey Y/N... I was thinking maybe we could go to that restaurant you like, you know the one with the really good Chicken Parmesan you're always talking about." He mused, "what do you think?"

"I, um... I think they'd like it" The smile you gave him looked...sad?

"What are you talking about? Who'd like it?" Leonard couldn't possibly be more confused.

"Your special someone?" It was your turn to look confused.

You've got to be kidding me

"I'm talking about you darlin', do you want to go to that restaurant with me, just us, nobody else. You and me. Together." Leonard clarified, meeting your gaze.

You looked positively flabbergasted. He couldn't possibly mean what he was saying, right? There was no way Leonard wanted to... I mean, he was way too good for you! You had been trying for months to get his attention, to no avail. This must be a dream. You're going to wake up any minute.

"Darlin'?"

"I, uh...what?" You blinked out of your daze.

"Dammit Y/N, I'm trying to ask you out on a date!" Bones ran a hand through his hair, exasperation evident in his tone.

"Really? Me?" You asked hopefully.

"Yes!" He replied "Look, it's okay if you don't w-" You suddenly burst into laughter and all the words died on his lips. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! It's just-" You giggled, "I actually came here to do the same thing..." You said sheepishly as you dug into your pocket "I, um... I got us tickets to see your favorite band. Figured if you said no, you could just take Jim instead." You handed the tickets over to him.

Leonard stared at the tickets in his hand, shock written all over his face. "Sweetheart, are you telling me we've both been dancing around each other for months, when we could have been doing stuff like this the whole time?"

"Seems that way, yes."

Leonard smiled and shook his head. "We're not very good at this, are we?"

"Not at all," You laughed. "Ahoy McCoy? What was I thinking?"

"Points for creativity darlin'," Bones chuckled. He almost couldn't believe things had turned out so perfectly. But in his experience, coincidence didn't exist. "Jim knew, didn't he?"

"He was actually the one who pushed me to come here," you admitted.

"Same. The bastard told me you'd say yes... Guess this was one of the few times I should have trusted him." Leonard concurred.

"So... What now, doctor?" You leaned a little closer. How had he never noticed your eyes before. He knew they were beautiful of course, but the way they were looking at him now made him weak in the knees. Had you always looked at him like that?

"Well, for now we're going to finish up our shifts, wouldn't want anyone to think we're slackers. But later, we're going to meet at the recreation room for a drink, possibly a game of darts. Then we'll see where the night takes us," McCoy smirked.

"How romantic, I can hardly wait for you to sweep me off my feet, they're killing me from all this running around, you know?~" You mused, resting your chin on your palm.

"Now you listen here darlin'. I'm a doctor, not a broom." Bones couldn't hide his amusement when you rolled your eyes at him.

"Well, what if I sweep you off your feet then?"

"You'll have to be careful, you might drop me and we could end up tangled in a whole mess of limbs."

"Oh, I'm counting on it.~" You teased.

Leonard swallowed hard and hid his bashfulness with a sip of his coffee, "Well in that case, sweep away."

You laughed again and McCoy was sure he had never heard a more beautiful sound in his life. He could see a future with you then. He wanted to sweep you off your feet, kiss you until you were breathless, share coffee with you early in the morning, and swap stories until late in the night. He wanted to introduce you to his daughter.

Baby steps.

"I hate to cut this short doctor, but I left the ensigns alone for too long, I'm worried there will be no lab to return to. I'll see you tonight?" You asked, fidgeting nervously with cuffs of your sleeves.

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm not going to change my mind." Leonard smirked.

You blushed and smiled in relief, "good! Great!" You stood, grabbed your mug, and sauntered happily to the door. You paused just a moment and looked back at Bones sweetly. "See you later, handsome."

"See you later Y/N," replied Leonard. You gave him a cute little wave before hurrying back to the labs.

Once he was alone again in his office, Bones leaned back in his seat and admired the tickets on the desk. He almost couldn't believe how thoughtful you were, but this wouldn't be the first time you gave him an incredible gift. A couple months after you met, Bones had mentioned offhandedly that he missed a particular brand of whiskey from Earth. Despite being light years away, you managed to find some and give it to him. It wasn't even a special occasion, you got it just to make him happy. Leonard supposed he should have realized your feelings for him right then and there. Damn. He really was oblivious.

McCoy wanted to give you something tonight- no, he needed to give you something tonight. Something sweet, something romantic, something that says: 'you're special to me and I need to show it to you because I'm terrible with words'. But where was he going to find something like that on a starship? The botany labs. Flowers make for a great gift on a first date! Maybe if he was lucky, they would have irises growing down there. So what if bouquets are a little sappy?

A little sap never hurt anybody after all.

[vechter]

Top 5 Dick headcanons?

1. dick having long term impacts from blüdhaven being bombed (n52 i'm furiously pretending you don't exist)- i just don't think dick should ever be able to talk about the city he chose to protect that got nuked bc he got under a cringe old man's skin. even years later, he wakes up from nightmares about chemo being dropped. he can't talk about it. it's his biggest failure, his biggest what-if. he can't talk about it still. the guilt occasionally threatens to eat him alive. if he had never vowed to protect it, would it still be standing? also i know continuity about where exactly he was at the time is confusing- infinite crisis puts him in new york but his own solo has him in the thick of the action in blüd, which is my personal preference. i would also like to see long term impacts from the level of radiation he was exposed to. a few chemical burns, possibly sterility (an interesting thing to explore that his parents' legacy biologically dies with him- he is the last grayson. but persists in the way he has taught those around him to fly and catch.) plus i want bruce to feel insane about this because no one else will understand how dick feels about a city like bruce does. also, bruce regretting not having stepped in earlier when dick was in the mob or the circus was burning down. it's one of his biggest regrets, too.

2. dick moves back to new york after bruce comes back bc new york has always shepherded and saved him. he went there when he lost robin, when he lost blüdhaven. preferably, he moves in with donna or roy because the year he spent being batman changed something intrinsically in his code and he needs to be around people who love him for him. he doesn't know how much of it was an act, how much of it was the mission, how much of it was grief. he never wanted to be like bruce and yet. yet. also a big fan of dick convincing tim to move to san francisco with young justice after bruce comes back because he is seeing what gotham, what batman is doing to his brother. tim stays there for a year, attends college before upping and moving to new york, instead. far enough from gotham but still tethered to batman. it is a little brother's prerogative to copy everything your big brother does <3

3. he and cass have a complicated dynamic. they both see and understand bruce in a way no one else does. it can sometimes be a good thing because they feel seen. but it also leads to conflict and subsequent resentment and hurt. and they both feel guilty about it because they know the other person has nothing but good intentions and their heart in the right place. also, dick is an intensely private person so for cass to be able to clock his lies, his performative nature- it often feels like too much. people are always watching him but cass sees him. and i don't imagine dick being too pleased about that. meanwhile, cass, to whom bruce and babs are probably the most important people, also feels a degree of resentment that they both are so intensely abnormal about dick, even when dick lashes out/hurts them. i miss cass throwing dick out of windows, it was so fun. but also, their entire approach to vigilantism and the concept of perfection. there is so much untapped potential for them to have excellent conflicts and resolutions. also idk where i saw this but cass being unable to do a quadruple and dick privately gloating about that. hilarious <3

4. recurrent knee pain. listen, the boy is an acrobat and he tends to stick his landings on unforgiving terrain like concrete and roof-tops. plus, firefly shot him in his right leg and he spent a big chunk of canon on crutches and wearing a brace. sometimes, your body recovers from an injury but it is never the same again. a notable part of the pain is also psychosomatic. it reminds him of one of the worst times in his life- the circus burning, his apartment being blown up, blockbuster, tarantula, etc. and how much of a failure he thinks he was during that time. like i said, the guilt often threatens to eat him alive so ofc the long-term, intermittent pain of an injury like that is mixed with immense mental stress as well.

5. his most intense and most private thoughts about jason and tim. things he hates himself for thinking, things even truth serum or magic or whacky comic shenanigans wouldn't pull out of him. bruce took on jason as robin to get over the pain of losing dick and somewhere deep, deep inside, dick resents both of them for it. because jason died in his colours, under his name. and now they all live in a post-jason world, jason included. and maybe if bruce had never had jason, he wouldn't have ever lost him and bruce could still be the man/god that dick unquestionably put his faith in.

building up on this, their first real interaction after bruce punches dick for confronting him about jason's death is primarily because of tim. tim is the catalyst for the events in a lonely place of dying.

and while i don't subscribe to the bruce-is-abusive-camp, i think exploring scenarios where dick leaves bruce for good is so compelling. like i don't fuck with batman beyond and don't claim to be super knowledgeable about those runs, but what is enough for dick? what would make him abandon bruce? what would make him come back? it's so neat to explore. and i think in a world where dick decides bruce is unforgivable, he would come back for the kids. in fact, he does come back for terry and bruce is perhaps the most expressive we see in terms of his regrets about dick, about missing dick, about hurting him but dick doesn't really want to listen.

and i think, that interaction post jason's death altered their dynamic fundamentally. it makes dick go to therapy lol. and we never see on-screen resolution of that, just a continued glimpse into bruce's worsening spiral. so, i think, it's interesting to consider how dick would view tim's role in this. like yes, he loves and adores tim (a thousand ninjas wouldn't be enough, the closest thing i have to a little brother).

but does he privately wonder what would have happened if tim hadn't come in and dragged them both in a situation where they have no option but to co-exist semi-harmoniously? it took tim for them to talk again but is that really for the better? or for the worse? because dick's devotion to bruce is not only detrimental to his mental health, it is often straight-up dangerous for him. and while dick may be unable to recognize the mental strain it puts him under, he would probably have a sort of inkling of the physical harm. taking back blackgate all alone for bruce, the time bruce hits him when he thinks gordon is dead, the time he jumps in front of a blast aimed for bruce, the time bruce has superman's powers and beats dick down when dick calls him out.

6. a fun, small one. he had a threesome with kory and roy in the outsiders era exactly once. it made sense because he loves them and he knows they loved donna just as much as he did. it was soft and fun and a very transparent attempt to get dick to let down his walls. dick left when they were both asleep, cried when he went home and they never spoke of it again.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

What do you think about Tavros and Dave's relationship? they interact quite interestingly in the first acts, and it seems to me that people undeservedly overlook this

Dave c3< Tavros c3< Equius is one of my endgame ships.

I also don't really mind Dave <3< Tavros because they definitely have a contentious relationship, but I think the Dave/Tavros/Equius throuple suits all three of them better and is also a more healthy and positive force for Dave overall. Especially because parallels are already there - Dave and Tavros's interaction is largely Dave making Tavros really uncomfortable, and then Tavros trying to get back at him via rap; meanwhile, Dave encourages Equius to rap, and is then made really uncomfortable. Together, they can be miserable while rapping at each other together.

But more seriously, one of Dave's biggest problems on the meteor was how fucking lonely he was. After basically ruining things with Terezi because he didn't understand troll quadrants and didn't want to learn, he had pretty much nobody to talk to, and especially nobody to rap with (the activity he's constantly seen doing to try and pass the time), which is why he became so obsessively clingy to the Mayor. Gamzee stopped talking to everyone except Terezi, Rose and Kanaya were busy being codependent and/or having substance abuse problems, and Karkat just thinks Dave's rap shit is dumb and cringe. It was like, really bad for him.

In a hypothetical situation where Tavros and Equius are both brought back to life, a lot of problems are actually solved for Dave - he has two rap buddies (three if you count redeemed Gamzee, who's <> with Tavros in this scenario) and is made to accept troll polyamory... by FORCE. I pretty much imagine that he kind of falls ass backwards into this auspicetism without even realizing it, and when someone breaks the news to him that he's dating the two worst trolls, he'd be like NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! and go crawling back to Terezi on his hands and knees like babe im so sorry please take me back. don't let my defining relationship be this unforgivable threesome

But it'd also be good for Tavros and Equius. Equius is genuinely polite, even if he is bossy, and if he tries to get all weird at Tavros about... y'know, the stuff Equius is weird about, Dave would feel the need to step in, and be like, bro, you two are literally the two biggest weirdos on this meteor, why tf are you beefing (and then theyd be like was that a livestock pun and dave would be like stfu)

Meanwhile, Tavros doesn't seem to be able to stop himself from bugging Dave, and to be frank, Dave's kind of out of Tavros's league? like their first interaction went so badly for Tavros that he BLOCKED Dave, which is hilarious. But Equius doesn't stand for 100dness and crassness, so there's no way he wouldn't feel the need to intervene and prevent things from going that far, inadvertently turning their throuple into a safe space for Tavros to practice self-assertion

And Dave also keeps goading Equius into doing shit, and it backfires horrifically every single time, but you know what? Dave is TAVROS's rival, okay, Tavros called dibs, and with Equius being... the way that he is... he WOULD listen to Tavros and back off. And of course that just sets Dave off, and the beautiful cycle continues. Like they all kind of vaguely hate each other and need to meddle with each other, but in a way that all three of them walk away as better, healthier people.

Also the way Karkat would be like holy fucking shit, this is the most stable auspicetism ive ever seen, i mean this from the bottom of my pusher, like completely genuinely and sincerely, congratulations & dave would be like shut UP!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[respectthepetty]

Season two of Chaser Game W was just as wacky as the first, but I'm going to go on record and state I believe season two was better because Fuyu really got to evolve and kept me entertain with all her hilarious facial expressions.

The finale began with the Red Devil back and back to her old habits, but instead of Fuyu immediately caving, she figured out this was her father's doing.

And when Itsuki was spiraling after Fuyu's mother visited, Fuyu was like, "You told my mother to eat poison, right?"

Because this is a color-coded family and her mother would not abide by the assigned color-coding. She also made their sweet daughter beg to not be sent away, so grandmama gotta GO!

Everything comes back to those gay penguins! I'm not even slightly upset that Fuyu's ex suggested she not tell people about her relationship with Itsuki. Not everybody can be out in all aspects of their lives, so it's reasonable to protect their child, they must rethink how not everyone can be trusted with the truth.

Our mama penguins decide that is solid advice and encourage their daughter to call Itsuki her aunt in public, so the bigots aren't mean to a five-year-old child.

But the bigots are doing the most to teach their children to hate others at a young age.

And even though my babygirl was thrown off by their decision, she also understood the reasoning behind the decision because it's clear they are in love (the color exchanges say so), and they love their child. Not telling others doesn't make that love any less valid.

But after all of that, these two show up in almost-matching outfits to tell the entire PTA that they have big old lesbian crushes on each other, so suck on that, ay yay yah!

As wild as that school scene was, I liked that it ended with the child repeating the question of "What is normal?" because two color-coded parents in love seems pretty normal to me!

Then Fuyu actually told the entire world they were in love as if the colors didn't already do that!

This is how peacefully everyone should sleep after they come out on international platforms and ruin bigoted bitches' day.

Especially this Red Devil's day since she threatened them so many times!

Even though the show went left in the last minutes by making the father be the one to say China needs to change,

And having the Red Devil take the credit for Fuyu's bravery,

I don't care because in fictional works, I want my happy endings however I get them, and this IS a happy ending.

Instead of being a poly series *sad face*, we got more of the story about two women in love!

We have Itsuki being the most adorable Heavenly Human wife to Fuyu.

And Fuyu still being the cringe corporate Black Brooder wife!

Then we have other color-coded girls in love who have witnessed the journey of our protagonists.

We have Itsuki finding other parent friends who aren't homophobic asshats.

We have grandma sending her lesbian granddaughters and cute great-grandchild gifts!

Because grandmas in QLs are really proving the Boomers didn't protest wars and fight for our rights to be wrongfully considered the bad guys now.

We have the ex-husband finally getting to live his best life too with someone who gets him.

And I got COLOR-CODED GIRLS IN LOVE.

And a babygirl.

[indieyuugure]

Hey Indie, so I have a question. What are your thoughts on mutant mayhem or the bayverse movies?

I think Mutant Mayhem is incredibly good, while the Bayverse movies are contently mediocre.

Like, don’t get me wrong, the bayverse movies were pretty good (the second more so than the first), but I think in comparison to Mutant Mayhem which is—in my opinion—a masterpiece, the bayverse movies are just pretty good. Like “Not Bad but Not Mind-Blowing” if that makes any sense.

Mutant Mayhem has a well written plot, it’s captivating and makes sense. The characters in it are also well written, hilarious and consistently in character. I love the artistic style of the movie, it looks sketchy and messy, and the animation is smooth yet choppy in all the right ways. The way the dialogue is done too really adds so much life to the movie, it feels very real and in many cases is recorded banter of the voice actors. I think because of the 2D animation medium they chose, the sky was the limit and they took full advantage of it.

The first Bayverse movie isn’t really as good as the second which I felt was better, but I’ll try to judge their vibes as a whole. I think the plots often think they’re more clever than they are, but are not bad per se, like I’d say as far as action movies go it’s probably average. I actually think they did a really good job on the CGI and designs of the turtles. I know many people say the designs are creepy and a bit disturbing, but I think the thing is that the turtles are supposed to look that way. In the cartoons fans always are like “How could you scream at this??” Not realizing the kids animation stylization filter on the world. So yeah, I think that was extremely well done. April and Casey are kinda cringe, but Shredder and Krang are pretty cool. I’d say for being a live action movie of TMNT, it didn’t do too bad.

Hope that’s what you wanted, lol 😂

Good question! :]

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I Gave a 10/10 to a BL... me!

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Nov 2023 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 4 of 8 - I love this show. I adore Tew's the simple backstory. No frills. No fuss. He got dragged in the way many do and he can kill so they kept him. They aren’t trying to make it needlessly complicated (which is rare for Thailand). That said, the pacing is way tf off, the emotional arc is rushed and then sappy out of absolutely nowhere. Before you ask, the kiss is not at issue, we halfway through they should be kissing, but the romantic life changes - too soon. But I don’t care. Finally, they left us this ep reminded of 2 v important things,

this pair kisses beautifully

in BL all mafia be gay

Fun fun!

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - It's official, I love this. It’s a classic caregiver/bodyguard trope where one of them is opening the other one up to the world, but sweetly. I’m enjoying the softness of JimmySea's take and I hope GMM TV takes its cues from the success of My School President and doesn’t push this particular show into rough or edgy territory. Stay on target GMMTV. Don't mess with my bias again!

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 3 of 10 - Finally, our adorable side couple has emerged! This show remains engaging without losing pace (despite the main couple being slow burn), which is all I want from a Thai pulp, and more I could ask for currently from a sports BL. 

(Note: when I dictate the computer always puts "Thai pope" instead of Thai pulp - this is hilarious to me.)

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 1 of 14 - I guess they didn’t strip the omegaverse out of this. Unfortunately, I’m not an omegaverse fan, so I find its presence extremely off putting. (But it’s kind of amazing that somebody finally put one on our screen.) Unsurprisingly, it’s a lot of alpha posturing and hyper masculinity, because that’s what this kind of worldbuilding is an excuse for (lazy writing and lazier characterization). This means I don’t like Babe AT ALL except that he’s smell orientated and a bit verse. Way is lovely tho, because Nut is a great soft screen presence amongst the testosterone haze. 

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 2 of 8 - I’m not gonna lie (when have I ever bothered to lie to you all?) I’m struggling with this show. The sound effects are getting worse. That is not allowed. Still I found this installment slightly more bearable than the last last, probably because there was more of the cast in play and less of Jade being too cringe to live. 

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - AKA temporal paradox of pain.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Friends Forever ep 13 of 24 - Ooo it’s a bit of a teacher/student (coach/player) thing. Linguistic negotiation and kinkification of phi. Also actually kinky. But not consensually. Gonna get dark. Bummer. 

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 1 of 14(!) eps - Whines. Must I? Gaga doesn’t have a skip ahead button. Sad sack main characters really do not work for me. But this was better than I expected. I wasn’t expecting much. 

Look: This is helmed by Cheewin (shudder) with screenplay by Den (Only Friends - shudder the second) under Copy A Bangkok (they deserve not my shuddders). It's gonna be a shizz show people. It's Thai dark War of Y style - my least favorites. Apparently, there is meant to be a "plot" but when has Cheewin ever bothered with plot?

On a completely different note does the blond look like that Korean actor/idol from At a Distance Spring is Green & Wanna One to anyone else? Or is it just me? (Park Ji Hoon)

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - I like it a lot. Dongwook is so obtuse and socially awkward and reserved and needy and Dohyun is so gay over and simultaneously wildly confused by this behavior. Fantastic. A bit stiff, even for Korea, btu I'm okay with it since everything else I'm watching right now is decidedly NOT stiff.

I finished it!

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo - Japan BL movie 1.5 hr

Best friends life together during university - cheerful sunshine loves to cook, grumpy tsundere loves to eat. Aki is a bit manic pixie dream boy for me (not my favorite archetype) but they’re cute and it’s one of those Japanese slice of life pieces like Our Dining Table that isn’t really a romance in fact it’s barely a drama. This isn’t friends to lovers because they’re basically already in a relationship (which everyone around them knows) they just aren’t fucking. I did spend a lot of time worrying that they weren’t eating any green things whatsoever. In the end this isn’t my thing when there’s no kissing at all, and this was a bit too dull even for JBL. Sorry Japan, one cannot trade on cute and cheese alone. I know, you want to. But that's not a BL or a personality. 6/10 

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan, maybe coming to Netflix) 8 eps - This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen.

I LOVE LOVE LOVED THIS. IT'S SO GOOD.

10/10

Let me be perfectly clear: I have watched 646 BLs and only handed out nine 10/10s.

I talk more about why this one made the cut, here.

It's Airing But...

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) 6 eps - adaptation of Harada’s manga (which I did not like) about a clerk who's stabbed, nearly dies, and returns home to find an angel waiting for him. With only 5 eps and a good chance this won’t end happy, I'm gonna wait and let you tell me how it goes.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14 eps - I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all) even one featuring Singto and Fluke. I'm holding off on this one and if told it's good I'll binge later.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed. Waiting to be told if I should bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

Next Week Looks Like This

STARTING

11/20 Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 1 of 6 - trailer here, stars Ohm (of OhmFluke) opposite Guide (bestie from IFYLITA). This looks like an actually gay version of Antique Bakery (play it again, BL). I'm intrigued, it looks HELLA pretty.

11/22 7 Days Before Valentine (Weds ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk. Adapted from y-novel of the same name, directed by Tu (180 Degree) stars Jet (Why You… Y Me?). When you want your old love again, but fate sends you a reaper instead. All he can do for you is kill people. I'll likely give this a pass and wait to binge if safe.

11/24 VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Screenplay by Lin Pei Yu (WBL) about a chef who courts a shy writer with spicy beef noodles.

11/25 The Sign (Sat ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk, but with a suspense and adult characters. Special investigators who loved each other in previous lives reunite in new bodies. Stars Billy Patchanon (BillySeng) & Babe Tanatat (new). Includes other SCOY favorites as a special investigation team. I may give this a try (depending on distribution) because I'm into the non-horror bits.

11/26 The Whisperer (Sun ????) 1 of 10 - trailer here. Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even that gives me the will. You can tell me how this goes.

11/26 Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - OffGun are back, trailer here. Adapted from the novel “Love Course! เสื้อกาวน์รุกเสื้อกุ๊กรับ” by iJune4S this is about Prem who runs a not-so-popular restaurant with 2 friends. About to go on a cooking competition with a huge reward, Prem gets involved with Ten, a stressed-out med student who wants Prem to teach him to cook.

Still Coming November BL

11/30 For Him (Thurs ????) ep 1 of 10 - high heat trailer, I suspect iQIYI will scoop this one up. From the people who brought us Unforgotten Night (please no) based on a y-novel, man nursing a heartbreak has a one-night stand, but the other boy didn't want it to end. It looks terribly trashy so I'm in! Maybe I'll do a trash watch?

Nov 2023 line up with screen caps here. Not kept updated.

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

To be fair this was last week but I did get the screen shot until now. (You are Mine)

I Cannot Reach You serving all Japan's favorite tropes plus some very un-Japan decent kisses.

(Last week)

[l1tw1ck]

got a reply on ao3 where someone was being ableist to me by using dyslexic is an insult, so I told them that was ableist and then they said "not liking your writing isn't ableist" (i never said it was) and then proceeded to use the r slur and then said "i could tell you're autistic."

so in order to fight the ableist allegation...you use more ableist rhetoric...i see 🤔

laughably ironic

rambling under the cut bc it's just ... hilarious

i wasn't gonna say anything about it on here bc it's not worth thinking about it any further than necessary but i just have to say something bc it's so funny to me.

i wish people knew how to insult me and talk about my work negatively without being ableist, racist, transphobic, etc. like, i'd rather not get any rude comments at all but if you're gonna be a dick at least be ethical about it 😭 how are you gonna READ a fic including things you DON'T like and then insult me over it?! why do people do this?!

i honestly can't be upset by this kind of thing because it's just so hard to take them seriously. people just sling slurs at me thinking it'll hurt me but it doesn't, because I know they're only doing it because they feel comfortable doing it online anonymously. if they were really about it they'd say it on their main account, but they don't.

it's hard to fully articulate my feelings and thoughts on this but man...reading their replies made me cringe

nobody has to like my writing or the type of content I create, i really don't care about that. especially because i don't even like my older work anyway (the fic in question is 2 yrs old). my writing style and skills are the way they are because I'm disabled and struggled throughout school because of it, not liking the way I write or thinking i'm not highly skilled isn't ableist. using ableist rhetoric and slurs is. i write purely for fun and i don't care if someone hates it because it's not like i'm trying to submit these to like...the new york times 😭

everyone has a right to feel disgusted or uncomfortable with my work, i'm not gonna cry about it or call them a "puriteen" (god i hate that term). but if you're gonna waste your time and energy reading my fics and then insult me about it, at least hold back on the slurs and bigoted language. insult me all you want but don't use my identity as a marginalized person to do it

oh my god i just remembered they also said i should give up on being an author bc my writing is terrible. Who the hell is reading smut fanfic and expecting shakespeare????? it's porn! porn is known for being shitty. it's the equivalent of opening up a video on pornhub and expecting an A24 level of production 😭 i'm an adult with a personal life, what do i look like emulating the skills and stylings of mark twain or jane austen for PORN? for free no less! 😭😭 ppl tend to forget that part

full respect to people who actually do write really fancy stuff for smut fics cause I don't have the energy for all that 😭 or even the skills honestly. i'm currently trying to make up for the train wreck that was high school (major depressive episode for FOUR years)

i'm ranting (i have a tendency to ramble...writer's curse) but man, i really hate how acceptable it is for people to say these kinds of things online. In the past, people would lose their jobs and scholarships for being bigoted but now you can just open up twitter on a new account/logged out and you'll see plenty of people saying horrible things (and getting PAID for it!) It's like a reverse of 2020, people were overly scared of being "canceled" and now everyone is comfortable using slurs against people. sigh.

like i said, insult me ethically!

anyways i'm gonna keep writing crappy fics ☺️ progress is slow but i'm still writing!

[3terna15unshin3]

Connected

—

A/N: idea came from this ask, so thank u anon🥰🥰 it was so fun to think of how Matty and Este’s relationship was seen from the other side like what fans pick up on, and also establish how much they decide to share with fans vs keep to themselves. this concept is so interesting to me but i had a hard time writing from the pov of a fan hahaha so i just did it this way instead :))

This obvs is based heavily on TBSG lore so none of this makes sense if you haven’t read the main fic - go do that first!! and also check out the Instagram AUs, they add to the pizazz

—

“Love, look what I just saw on Twitter. This is hilarious.”

Este points her phone screen towards Matty as they sit in bed on a Sunday morning. He yawns, tired and still half asleep, then blinks his eyes a few times to read what she’s showing him. It’s a tweet from a fan that sits in her mentions from a couple of days ago when a clip from his Zane Lowe interview resurfaced.

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

thinking about the fact that matty mentioned meeting e.manansala when she worked at a bookstore in manc to zane and in this 2018 interview he said his fav spot in the city is Greenhouse Books …….. what are the chances this is the same bookstore bc that would be so😭😭😭💔💔💔💔 https://manchesterwire.co.uk/?s=matty+healy+give-yourself-a-try/arts&culture/article

jaymie SAW UNDO LIVE trmanb1ackk

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND

Hold on you might be onto something

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to trmanb1ackk

right like okaayyy bookstore worker x customer to lovers notting hill pipeline????? 🤭 huge if true

She watches his eyes scan over the text and a fuzzy smile grow on his face. Matty loves talking about Este when he can—to bring some much deserved attention to her writing—and did so often, but does’t always mention many the details of their relationship. That was until strolling around the Northern Quarter with Zane brought a bit of it out of him.

Este is what brings him back to Manchester the most often, from visiting her family and Cate and Georgia to just needing a bit of a homey feeling from its familiar pubs and nostalgic shops. So, naturally, Matty talked about her in the interview done for the release of Being Funny—explaining how they’d met and how much the city means to them both.

“How they put two and two together is beyond me,” he says, scratching his head. “That Manchester Wire interview was five years ago now, you know. Did you ever read that?”

She chuckles. “Course I did! We had a few fans come in that summer with the sole intention of coming to a place you recommended, actually.”

“Why have you never told me that?” Matty asks, “You’re welcome for the business, by the way.”

“You never even told me about your little shout out, to be fair. I had to find out on my own,” Este teases. “Plus, we weren’t even a thing at that point—we’d met once! Quite creepy, in retrospect.”

“When you put it like that it’s honestly so cringe so please change the subject now.” Matty buries his head in the bunches of sheets that sit in her lap, embarrassed and frankly too sleepy to defend himself.

Este giggles, letting her hands settle into his curls. “Oh c’mon, you weren’t cringe. I’m just pulling your leg. It was sweet,” she reassures him.

“You’re just saying that because you feel bad,” he whines, then rubs his eyes to try and get the sleep out of them. “That’s so crazy that they dug that up, though. I’m not sure if many people know you’ve been around since then.”

“They probably looked at your life in 2019 and figured you were a rockstar with a new girl in every city but in reality you were calling me to get to sleep every night and doing origami in your free time because it reminded you of me.”

Matty’s jaw drops at her blunt comments. “I was about to get mad but I can’t even disagree.” He sits up, raking the hair out of his eyes. “Do people still use the word ‘simp’? Can that be applied to this situation? Was I a simp?”

She throws her head back, mouth wide, as she laughs at how ridiculous his question is.

“Please don’t say ‘simp’, love. You’re 34.” Este squeezes out between her giggles, “But no, people don’t use that word anymore. And yes it can be applied. And also yes, you were. And still are.”

“Proudly am,” he adds.

She leans into his side and he snakes his arm around her waist. They sit there, Matty only in a pair of pyjama pants and her an oversized tee, scrolling through the funny replies to the tweet and how big of a deal some fans were making it.

“You should respond. Tell Megs that she’s right.”

“Seriously?” Este asks, shocked that he’d want her to engage in something so meaningless and speculative.

But alas, he nods casually with a smile. “Yeah. They seem sweet, and just curious. And maybe being such a simp will give me some brownie points,” confirms Matty.

“God, enough of that word!”

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND

Can confirm🤝

liv livmymistake_

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND and e.manansala

MEGS OH MY GOD

Jude 🥾🌎 ittsjudesk

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND and e.manansala

UMMMMMMMMMMM

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to e.manansala

omg hi😭😭😭 are being fr i can’t cope

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND

Greenhouse is the bookstore i worked at and is where matty and i met that year:)) and hi💌

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to e.manansala

i think i’m psychic for guessing that🤭🤭🤭🤭

—

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

k now i’m going crazy bc i had no clue him and este had been dating for that long💀 was genuinely convinced it had been 3 years max

Jude 🥾🌎 ittsjudesk

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND

Literally they didn’t post each other until like 2020

sarah🧸 _102sar

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND

I think she was at the 2018 Pryzm show too. Not sure but I was at the after party and remember seeing her there lol

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to _102sar

WHAT…….. this lore being uncovered omg

“Someone recognises you from the Brief Inquiry album release show?!” exclaims Matty in disbelief. “There’s no way.”

They still sit in bed as Este types away, having fun interacting with the small group. He leans his head on her shoulder and watches her as she does it.

“They’ve known you longer than I have, you know. They know their stuff,” she responds.

“Even I don’t remember you being at the Pryzm show.”

Este’s mouth falls open in shock, thoroughly offended. “You prick.”

“I’m joking!” Matty defends through fits of laughter. “C’mon E, I’m joking.”

She knows he is, but enjoys the theatrics of it all; shoving his head off her shoulder and scooting away from his touch in protest.

“That was a special night for me! The first time I saw you play and met the guys! Don’t make fun!” Este pouts, crossing her arms playfully.

“Fine. I take it back, I take it back,” Matty begs, dragging her back over to him and bringing her legs over top of his. He grabs her hand and places a kiss on her palm. “I remember meeting Cate, and introducing you to Louis. And Ross making fun of my gallbladder surgery, and leaving Cate on the dance floor to get drinks, and screaming at each other over the music at the bar. You telling me about the anniversary party. I very much remember!”

“Okay, okay. Enough gushing. I forgive you.”

Matty pecks her palm once more and shuffles her even closer. “Open Twitter back up. This is fun.”

Jude 🥾🌎 ittsjudesk

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND and _102sar

This is absolutely shocking bc how did his chronically online ass manage to hide a whole gf that long

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to ittsjudesk

fr!!! like do we think she was on the abiior tour with them bc i swear jordan absolutely fed us with so much bts content it would be impossible to miss?? someone dig

sarah🧸 _102sar

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1D and ittsjudesk

If u scroll back on her IG u can see Matty in her comments since then. And they’d repost each other on their stories and stuff🥲 So not that hidden if ur a stalker like me lmao

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to _102sar

thoroughly upset that i missed so much bf matty content </3

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND and _102sar

Ignore me stalking u🤭🤭 i was indeed at that Pryzm show lol but we weren’t dating yet. And during abiior tour I saw a few UK shows but otherwise i was just in Manc working/being a bad groupie x

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND

Also matty is sitting beside me now and he is cool with me filling u in (it was his idea) and he says hi. and that u guys are cute

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to e.manansala

ohhh yes u are a working woman how could i forget!! bookstore worker/groupie same difference. thank u for responding😭 u are the coolest❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 (also hi matty😳)

Jude 🥾🌎 ittsjudesk

→ Replying to e.manansala

Hi Matty sorry for calling u chronically online x

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to ittsjudesk

He forgives you (but it’s true imo)

liv livmymistake_

→ Replying to e.manansala

este wait i have to know …. since u are a former bookstore girlie turned writer are u the reason matty periodically spam posts a bunch of literature on his instagram stories???? did u convert him to bookstoregirlieism??

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to livmymistake_

I am obsessed with the idea that he was illiterate before meeting me so i’m gonna say yes. thank u for that

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to livmymistake_

Liv it’s me I stole the phone and don’t appreciate this sentiment tbh. You should know I’ve always been a wanker so all the literature spams are just me letting that out and este just enables me. hope that helps x Matty

[ganeshpnf]

Hiii! What do you think about the movie cast and show cast? Which one do you love more if you have to compare?

Hi anon! And...wow. I dont talk about this much but if I would, I need to make some warnings first. My blog is not open for talking bad, hating for any actors. Anyone who sees this post are free to share their own thoughts, whatever you agree with me or not. But please, be respectful, to all actors and to people say their own personal thoughts. And remember, whatever you like it or not, they are still in characters of the movie and show universe. You have to show your respect. Bad writing, bad plot, inaccuracy is never the actors' fault, they are just doing their jobs. So please, be respectful. Dont forget that people can have opinions, unless they talk bad to any actor, it should be respected. You are all free. I also gotta say that I love every single actor, for the movie and the show, they are all amazing :) But if I had to compare their acting or how I see them most of the time, long post so lets goo!

1- Logan(movie Percy) and Walker(show Percy)

Both of the actors are really talented. Walker is known with his personality and I agree, during interviews and his daily life. But personally, I dont think the same in the show. I know, bad writing, but still. Logan is exactly what I see hoo Percy, his humor and his iconic lines. While Walker also threw some good Percy sass, I would still have to pick Logan. He is too iconic for me.

2-Alexandra(movie Annabeth) and Leah(show Annabeth)

First, kudos to the both actors since they got so many hate and still stayed so strong. Both of them inspired so many things in me, I am so so proud of both of them.

Now, this is hard because both of these woman also had a very big problem with bad bad bad bad writing. Their characters were butchered up and it was not their fault. Both of their acting was perfect. But, Alexandra did a bit better in my eyes with her acting. While I adore Leah, she seemed a bit flat to me. I believe with time, she would get better, but for now, I'll have to pick Alexandra.

3- Brandon(movie Grover) and Aryan(show Grover)

I know this is not Brandon's fault but making Grover with full of sexual jokes was not my favourite thing. He is hilarious to watch, yes. But part of his character angered me. I think Aryan did better in this, he would do even better. His grover made more sense in me, so I will pick Aryan.

4-Leven(movie Clarisse) and Dior(show Clarisse)

This is so hard, because both of them were fantastic. I think I will make it tie. I had tiny "issues" with both, maybe some cringe moments but its mostly because of the writing. Other than that, I cant pick. Leven's attitude and Dior's that powerful scream, its a tie.

5-Jake(movie Luke) and Charlie(show Luke)

Charlie is an amazing actor, his Luke was written to be a bit more sympathic. If I have to talk about Luke, it would make a whole another long post, but Jake's Luke gave me much more Luke vibes. Not only because he is almost exactly with how I imagine him, but also with his attitude, funny remarks about his father which completely summed up his relationship with his father. So I have to pick Jake, he is way too iconic for me.

6-Pierce(movie Chiron) and Glynn(show Chiron)

Well, I know second movie changed the actor but Pierce is special to me because he is THE Chiron in my eyes. He looked exactly of what I imagined, he looked ancient with long hair and I adore it. Glynn's Chiron's acting was a bit soft in my eyes, I wish we got to see him organize the camp more, training the heros etc. Pierce's scene with him training the demigods, I adore it, so I go with Pierce.

7-Stanley(movie Mr.D) and Jason(show Mr.D)

Hmmm, I think I would choose Jason since his lines were a bit more iconic, he slayed with his acting. For Stanley's defense, we didnt see him much, but still I gotta choose, so Jason.

8- Uma(movie Medusa) and Jessica(show Medusa)

I think I already said here that how much I adore Uma's Medusa. I think cgi was a lot better, despite it being 2010. I didnt like Jessica's Medusa since it was too Ovid's story, I really do not like that version :( Uma's acting, snakes were better in my eyes so I choose her.

9-Sean(movie Zeus) and Lance(show Zeus)

First of all, rest in peace Lance :( I adored him in every single project, he was perfect. I first watched him in "Young Sheldon" and not to mention he slayed as his performance in Zeus. About Sean though, he is the Zeus I see most of the time, I love him, his power in the throne room scene, perfection, him threating Poseidon...I would go with Sean.

10- Kevin(movie Poseidon) and Toby(show Poseidon)

This is also so hard because I literally...cant choose? Like Kevin's first scene is just so powerful and gave me the Poseidon immediatly. But Toby...his scene with Sally, I just cant. Its a tie, sorry.

11- Steve(movie Hades) and Jay(show Hades)

Look, I love the actors but...I really dont see both of them as Hades in my eyes? One of them was too evil, other one was too silly. Like okay, I accept them as Hades, in other universes. But I cant compare them, so you can call it a tie.

12-Catherine(movie Sally) and Virgiana(show Sally)

I love Catherine, she is so close to what I see when I think of Sally. But Virgiana...She was just perfect. I had some issues of her character but thats an another topic. For now, I pick Virgiana.

I cant think of more of the main cast but I need a moment to talk about movie Athena because I think she is too underestimated. Like she is perfect, THE Athena. She looks exactly like her, she is just too dam sweet. I love her so so much.

This is it. Im no fan of both of this adaptations tbh, but actors are all so great and talented! My fav adaptation would always be musical, I would talk about it one day.

Please remember to be respectful, you are all free to share your own thoughts :)