#hiiii this is my first real post hahaha

[yuutakuns]

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I have been thinking very deeply about Yuuta in a relationship. I know ultimately he's a cutie that is just the sweetest to his partner but I'm sure we can all agree that there is something so dark and twisted in the way he loves.

Yuuta is the kind of partner that feigns contentment. If you're happy, then he's happy. Or so he thought. It's not that he's unhappy, no, he is extremely happy. But it is exactly this happiness that he cannot let slip and get away. It is because of his anxiousness that he feels he has to grasp for you closer and closer. More than anything, he just wants to be with you.

Content Warnings: MDNI (minors do not interact), 18+,toxic relationship, manipulation, possessiveness, dub-con, cervix fucking, creampies, size kink(ish), afab reader (genitalia mentioned), idk I’m a degenerate, kinda proofread kinda not

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It starts with little things.

Yuuta tries so hard to be understanding. He knows it's not healthy to be this obsessive. He knows that it's no good for you and it's not good for him. But it's times when you're out with other friends or making time for other people when he feels his heart twist and turn wretched at the sight of you smiling with others. It's this nagging insecurity that eats at him.

When you tell him you made plans to hang out with Yuuji and the others this coming weekend. Yuuta smiles.

"That's great. I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun hanging out with Yuuji! I know you'd prefer to be around someone a lot more positive than hang out with me more than you need to."

Of course Yuuta knows that this is not at all what your intentions are. But he can't help but feel relief in the way your smile drops and your face tinges with worry.

"Yuu- What? No- That's not at all why I'm going out with them-"

"It's okay. You don't have to explain. I know what being around me too long is like. I wouldn't really want to, either."

It's conversations like these that make Yuuta feel like you two are meant to be.

The way you are so willing to drop everything for him, to decide that it's fine. I don't at all mind being with you again this weekend! I don't have to go out. Let's stay in together, I don't want you to feel left behind.

He thinks you're too kind for your own good.

It's little things like this that build up. The way you start to become more isolated from everyone else, telling them sorry, I have plans this weekend or oh, I can't make dinner tonight after all. It's when you choose Yuuta over anyone and everyone else that his heart soars.

It's when you become completely and utterly dependent on Yuuta that he smiles the brightest.

You can't go on without him. If for some reason you do go out alone you know that he's texting you, calling you, or even showing up to meet you. He's everywhere. It's only to make sure that you're safe, of course. You're useless without him. Who knows what trouble you could get into. It’s better this way.

It's when you agree to move in with him. It's safer to be close to each other, and now Yuu doesn't have to go out to your apartment every night to check on you. You're safe right beside him. You don't think you've ever seen him happier.

"It's okay, you'll always be safe when I'm here. So that's why, I'll always follow you wherever you go," Yuuta hums into your ear as you drift off to sleep, dreaming of cold fingers slithering up your body and pressing on your neck as you lay paralyzed. You always wake up in a sweat, fear coating your brow. You chalk it up to a case of stress getting to you.

It's strange. The closer Yuuta and you get the farther you wish you were from him. But if it means Yuuta is happy, then why should you complain?

It's nice to see him smile so widely. You know that he's always been the lonely type. Maybe he just needs to be close to someone for once, to feel genuine security and love.

That's what you remind yourself anyway, as you let Yuuta use your body to satiate his hunger.

Yuuta never used to be so rough. Sure, there were times when you'd try something new or indulge him in an act. But this was something else entirely.

Big fat tears stream down your cheeks as Yuuta rams his thick cock into your pussy. It was a tight fit, as usual.

Sometimes, Yuuta takes it slow and preps you nice and sweet. It reminds you more of the old times when things were a little more simple. But sometimes something possesses Yuuta. You see it in his eyes. It's dark and empty, like a black hole wanting to swallow you hole.

You sob as Yuuta fucks into your dripping wet hole, nails digging into your soft thighs as your tits bounce up and down from his thrusts. Yuuta grunts softly, breath shaking as he drills into your pussy, smiling as he watches you make the most fucked out expressions. His cock was so fucking hard, he felt so happy being so close with you. Being so connected with you. He loved feeling the way your walls clenched around his dick, the way your cunt milked him.

You didn’t really want to have sex tonight. But you felt so guilty for rejecting Yuuta. He always looked so hurt when you said you weren’t up for it. Your heart ached when he asked, “Do you not want to be close with me anymore? I’m sorry if I did something wrong. I always mess everything up.” He always knows how to get under your skin.

You moaned as Yuuta stretched out your gummy wet walls. He always knows how to open you up, how to own you completely.

“S-so good. Your pussy is so good. Always so so so good for me. Do you like that? Am I making you feel good? Tell me.”

You sobbed, your cunt clenching around his cock in the most delicious way. “Yuu- I can’t- S’too much— You’re too much—“ You managed to choke out, eyes rolling back whenever his tip fucked into your cervix. You felt his dick twitch at the sound of your sobs.

He was in so deep, situated between your open legs. Your legs held up over his shoulders as he bent you in half. You could feel his cock as your walls clenched around him, your slick dripping and squelching as he fucked into you. It was so lewd.

You covered your face with your arms instinctually as tears prickled out the corners of your eyes. You were so overstimulated. Yuuta slid his hands over your body to move your arms, holding each down on the side of your head. You couldn’t even have this.

“Look at me, don’t hide. Ngh- I want to see you. Wanna see your pretty face— Ah, show it to me. Show me what’s mine.”

You looked up at him, vision blurred from all the stimulation. He looked down at you, expression adoring as he continued to mercilessly pound into you. You moaned. He was your Yuuta. Your sweet precious Yuuta. Your love, your light. How did it become like this?

Yuuta grunted. “ ‘M close— so close. Can I cum? Can I cum in your pussy? You’re so good baby. You take me so good. I love you. I love you so fucking much. I wanna own you. I wanna be closer to you. Let’s become closer, yeah?”

He maneuvered his hands to grasp for yours, entwining your fingers together as he rammed erratically into your sopping cunt. You cried out soft little moans as you felt his cock piston into you.

You were also close, pussy clenching around his cock. “Yuu- ‘m close— so close, I’m gonna cum!”

“Cum for me baby, cum on my cock. Give me everything. You belong to me. Everything you have belongs to me.”

You came hard, eyes fluttering shut as slick spilled out everywhere onto the bed. You felt so spent.

He let out a sigh as he humped into your used pussy, cock twitching as he released his load into your cunt. He filled you up, made you whole. His cum dripped out of your pussy as he made himself comfy on the bed, still inside of you. He held you close, nuzzling into your neck.

“I love you. More than anything.”

“Yeah.” You sucked in a shakey breath, “I do too.”

[stalkersdiary]

Hiiii Sir! I have committed SO MANY SINFUL ACTS because of you. UwU When I saw your most recent post I screamed. YOURE SO HOT.

Congrats on 100 followers! To celebrate I got some of my favorite clips of your voice from streams, that podcast you were a guest on, and even our little phone call and I was wondering if you wanted to check it out. <3 Love youuuu!

Now for the JUICY questions I really wanted to ask. You mentioned a while ago that you had a partner who was "worse that you were" so I have to like ask now what extreme things have you done before for/because of love? OH AND you mentioned you dont have a lot of friends because your awkward and shy and never leave the house and stuff. WOULD YOU ACCEPT RANDOM DMS? CAUSE I WANNA TALK TO YOU MORE AND I FEEL LIKE OTHERS WOULD TOO!

- JATTA Your loyal fuck toy <3 PS.

Solid Warning for anyone reading. Part of this is going to be honest. A little too honest. Hello again Mocha. I start to get used to you and then you break out the term "Loyal fuck toy" and I have to do a double take. Hahaha. To answer all of this, I'll do so in order. I was never really here for the followers or likes but I am happy to entertain and help people feel understood. As for the audios, I just listened to which ones you posted and I'm trying so hard not to laugh. I sound so gross over the phone. Hahaha I'm glad you put up with me during my streams. ^^ I'm amused that people still think I sound like Corpse or Riot. Nat, I don't get a he sounds so nasal in comparison to me but any comparisons are funny. As for the "Juicy questions" I have a few interesting answers you maybe didn't expect. For legal reasons, this is a fictional blog by a "yandere", but you and I both know the truth. We both know that a yandere isn't real even if the concept is. I've committed serious crimes for many reasons aside from love, like self defense, and a few of my hobbies. Many of which could be worse but are extreme to most people. Aggravated battery, aggravated assault, and even non-aggravated Arson. Felonies are linked to my memories but nothing is linked to my name as I was never caught. It's a bit funny. Oh and let's not forget that some thing's titles are a little "tricky..." I have class 1 and f1 violations, first and second degree, and petty theft all hidden in my past. I don't know the laws well enough to know which one is which anymore. I don't do anything these days as I'm not... where I used to be. However the memories are very strong and I know what I used to be capable of... I can't do what I used to because I'm not the person I used to be and I'm glad I'm not. Don't worry, it was so long ago and so unimportant to everyone related to the incidents that there is no way I'm gonna be in trouble now. ^^ As for the possibility of DMing me, go for it! I still don't really have friends but I would love to talk to someone. Anyone can DM me. I just hope they know what they're getting into as I tend to be very awkward and I overthink a lot. I tend to not talk first because I assume everyone has already gotten tired of me. On a funny note, as I was writing this a friend looked over and asked me if I would put the Whump tag and now I have another thing I need someone to explain to me because I have never heard her laugh this hard. Oh dear. Hahaha Thank you for opening the Stalker's Diary.

[telehxhtrash]

Hi, tele. Quick question, do you have any "almost kissed but didn't" scenarios for Killua and Gon? No real reason for asking really, I promise I swear just asking. :)

HIIII omg thank you so much for letting my brainrot think about all these cute scenarios because it brought me LIFE ! i have a few, but just so u know i LOVE clichés so these are very, very cliché but i still hope you like them !! (this is gonna be a long post i hope you’re ready djkngdsg)

• Killua has always been a very messy eater, so anytime he eats there’s ALWAYS a bit of whatever food he ate at the corner of his mouth, and it always makes Gon laugh. 

But whenever Gon makes him notice, Killua wipes it off as fast as humanly possible with a furious blush.

So one time, Gon decides to not tell him and just reaches for it to wipe the corner of his mouth himself. Of course, Killua's eyes go as wide as the moon because “gon whats wrong with you??”, but he doesn’t jump back.

Gon’s finger lingers a bit longer than necessary at the corner of his mouth, until he looks up to meet Killua’s gaze, and Killua doesn’t understand why but he’s leaning in closer and closer to Gon’s face.... until Gon just laughs fondly “you’re always so silly, Killua !”. Gon really wished he kissed him back then, but there was no way he’d make their first kiss happen like this : he wanted it to be perfect.

• Gon and Killua on Whale Island, chilling in Gon’s room, bickering about something dumb (as always), when Killua pokes Gon’s forehead telling him how much of an idiot he is, but Gon just does the same thing to him “YEAH I’M AN IDIOT SO WHAT!!!” and they keep on poking each other until they realize that they progressively got closer and closer, and now their faces are only a few centimeters apart, and it’d be so easy to just close the distance-

Until Mito comes BARGING IN their room telling them can’t you guys just please lower the vol-

She instantly notices what’s going on, but never mentions it ever again as to not embarass the two boys. (but when Gon comes back a few days later with Killua’s hand in his, she can’t help but smile fondly)

• Killua was so TIRED of having to stare at Gon’s chapped lips, why couldn’t the boy just take care of it ?? That’s why Killua one day decides to take the matter into his own hands and buy Gon some chapstick, telling him to please just use it because if he has to look one more second at his crusty lips he’s gonna faint.

Gon, with a playful smile on his face tells him “Why are you looking at my lips in the first place?”

“I’m not !! Chapped lips are just distracting !!”

Gon decides to just get it over with and put some chapstick on...

“See !!! You were staring !!”

“No I wasn’t !!”

“Yeah you were!!”

The blush on Killua’s face is too adorable, and Gon can’t help but lean in a bit closer and tease Killua and just ask “You wanna see what it tastes like?” Killua just loses all composure and blushes even MORE, not knowing what to do, until Gon just rubs a finger on his lips and then onto Killua’s, looking at him with a bright smile.

• It was a beautiful, cloudless night, and Gon decided to take Killua out to go look at the stars. The moonlight reflecting in Killua’s hair makes it glow and makes him look like an angel, and Gon can’t help impulsively letting him know how pretty he looks right now.

Killua looks down in embarassment, telling him to stop being an idiot, when Gon lifts his chin up with his finger, looks at him in the eyes and tells him “You have to learn how to take compliments, Killua. I really meant what I said.” - and Killua didn’t know it was even possible but somehow he can feel the red on his cheeks darken, and his pupils are blown wide because Gon is so close and what is he doing why is he - 

Gon just puts a light peck on Killua’s nose, letting out a giggle. He knows it’ll take a while, but he’ll wait until Killua comes around and understands his worth. And only when he does, he’ll kiss him. But until then, he’ll be patient, because he wants to do things right this time.

• Alluka locks Killua and Gon up in a closet because they’re idiots and she’s tired of them tip-toeing around it so “JUST FIGURE IT OUT!!” 

It’s pretty cramped in here, and Killua feels like his heart is gonna burst out of his chest. What did Alluka mean they need to figure it out? Figure what out? Gon couldn’t possibly li-

Gon reaches out to grab Killua’s hand, putting it against his chest “Killua, you can hear how nervous I am right now, but I really need to tell you something”

Gon confesses that he’s falling in love with him, and after that confession, Killua just stares at him in silence, completely awestruck, blushing furiously, until he musters up the courage to cross the distance between his lips and Gon’s -

But Alluka’s timing could’ve been better. She busts in, yelling “SO??? DID YOU GUYS TALK???” 

• Gon has a fever, and there’s no thermometer. And, well, Mito always took Gon’s temperature by pressing her lips onto his forehead.

“But maybe it’d be more accurate if you tried elsewhere Killua!”

What is Gon implying, and why is he grinning like an idiot?? Gon puts his hand on Killua’s cheek, dragging his face closer to his, looking at his lips and - oh, that’s what he means - and it’d be so easy for Killua to just comply - 

Gon looks at him with a snarky smile “come onnnnnn Killua i’m dyinggggggg over here just take my temperature Killuaaaaaaaaa” and that’s more than enough to make Killua turn his face around, because there’s no way he’s giving in to that smart-ass this time.

• This one happens post-reunion, Killua is more confident and Gon is very flustered by this change in behavior.

Killua being the best big brother kisses Alluka’s forehead before she goes off running somewhere, and Gon can’t help but stare at him because that was the most adorable thing he’s ever seen and it’s making his stomach feel funny and -

“Gon, watcha looking at?” Killua says with a snarky smile, walking nonchalantly with his hands in his pockets towards Gon. “Want a kiss too?” he whispers when his face is so close to Gon’s that he can feel his breath on his lips, and oh god his lips look so sweet and there’s nothing he’d want more than to just press his lips against his-

“For that, you’ll have to take me out on a date, Freecss.” Killua says as he pulls his face back, looking at Gon with a defiant look and a hint of playfulness, until he notices how red Gon looks and can’t help but laugh. 

“You should see your face !!”

• It’s summer and Gon and Killua are enjoying the warm weather on Whale Island, exploring outside as much as they possibly can - so it shouldn’t be a surprise when Gon’s freckles start to become more... noticeable, and Killua just wants to melt because they’re so adorable.

He’s constantly resisting the urge to trace the patterns that they form on Gon’s skin, until one day, they’re at the beach and Gon is smiling so wide and he’s so bright and Killua swears all the freckles on his face form constellations and if he could just trace the pattern that they form and stare at his face forever he’d be happy. 

He doesn’t realize it but he’s staring at Gon, leaning in towards him more and more, captivated by how the light reflects onto Gon’s face, bringing out all his freckles, when-

“See something you like?” Gon teases

And that’s more than enough to snap Killua out of his trance and turn around, blushing, like nothing ever happened.

I had so much fun imagining these, I hope those scenarios are ok sdjgbsjdgn thank you so much for this ask !! sorry my writing skills are ASS I TRIED MY BEST HAHAHA

[ayellowcurtain]

Hiii! I joined to Tumblr a few months ago, but I have no idea how to use it!! I mean, I know how to like and reblog and ask, but that's it!!! And I would like to ask you for advice on how to learn to use it, cuz I feel kinda lost! Plssss! 😥🙌🏻🙏🏼✨

hiiii! And welcome to this mess of a site hahaha hope you’re ready 

A quick reminder before any tips: my tumblr is in Portuguese so maybe some words won’t translate exactly as I’m saying, but it’s probably something similar. 

I’m not the greatest user, unfortunately, I know the very basic so I’m gonna tell you what I use:

- the top right buttons

home - search (never really used, but I think you can see the most popular posts on tumblr right now - message - chat (where you can talk to people in real time, privately) - activities (where you’re gonna see when people reblog your stuff, tag you in posts, answer your asks, etc) - the little person thingy - the big pencil (where you go to write your own posts, post videos, photos, whatever you want, there’s a bunch of different options for it

- filtered tags

You use this when you don’t want to see a certain content on your dash (from the people you follow), so to the steps: 

Top right, the little person icon, click on it - configurations - filter - click on the little pencil thing, write the name of the tag you wanna block (no need to put the # first) click on “add” and the tag is blocked!!! You won’t see the content of the post, but you’ll see a blank space instead. 

- drafts

When you wanna write something and save it to post it later or to delete later or just to write something and not make it public, idk. Only you can see your drafts. 

(top right again) the blue button with a big pencil - write whatever you wanna write - (the bottom right where it says publish) the arrow pointing down - save as draft 

You can find those posts under the “drafts” button that also shows at the bottom part when you click on the little person icon, right after “activities”, you can publish your drafts whenever you want to. 

- tags

You can use it to tag your shows whenever you’re talking about them under any post you make, there’s a tiny space where you can write them, every time you use a comma (,) it’ll start another tag. 

but the tag I was going to talk about is: top left, there the search bar where you can put what you’re looking for and it’ll show the top post at that moment in the tag, still at the top left, a little lower, you can adjust for you to see the most recent posts instead of the most popular ones. 

Go to the tags knowing that’s mostly a lot of crazy people constantly talking, disagreeing, etc, so be careful with how you’re using that. I don’t spend too much time in the tags because it’s a lot happening all at once. hahaha

- edit a little bit of your blog 

this is tricky, I’m sure there are plenty of youtube videos that can help you a lot more than I can, but: 

little person icon - (bottom half) click on the name of your blog - it’s probably named as “edit” something with a little arrow to the right - edit button at the corner top right (it’ll let you change your “header”, icon, info, etc) - save

still on that page, you can click to edit your theme (tumblr gives you a bunch of free options, do some research when you have time and you’ll probably find some good ones), allow people or not to see the posts you’re liking, allow people to see who you’re following, choose who can reply to your posts, allow people to send you asks or not (you can also change how your “ask” will be asked, I think mine is “ask away”, right under there, you can choose to get anonymous asks or not, more a bunch of things I never used, and block tumblrs you don’t wanna interact with. 

- commenting on posts

right before to the reblog button, there’s the little circle where you can click on then proceed to write a comment to that post. 

- when writing a post 

there’s a line with some icons that appear on the right with a camera, film camera, gif icon and “...”. The last one (...) I mostly use it when I’m writing a long post or a post that not everyone will like to see. If you click on the “...” it’ll show a line where, under the line, people will only see the rest of the post if they click on it. 

Following basically the same steps as making a draft, under the arrow pointing down, one of the options is probably “schedule” where you can choose what time of the day tumblr is going to publish your post. I usually use it when I write something late at night, go to bed and want tumblr to post something while I’m asleep hahaha

Anyway, I feel like I said a bunch of very, very basic things, but this is all what I basically use, I’m so sorry if I didn’t help at all. 

[painandpleasure86]

I can’t live with you (but I can’t live without you) - JohnicaWeek 2020

Author’s note: This idea born in my mind since Rachel announced this special week. My real life inspo were my own parents, married since 1991 (I born in 1992). Here I portray this couple as I imagine, based in real life experience having a 67 yrs old dad and in things that I read about this couple. This will be the most realistic posible representation of them that I could write. Don’t hate me if isn’t all cuteness here, life it’s good but also bad things :/ Also sorry if it’s too cheesy! I don’t like make suffer to my characters a lot lol.

Art by @imflashqueen (instagram). She drew the second piece inspired in my story! She was my beta indeed :3 Thank you for give me some feedback! Ah, and the first one was an old collab that we did in last November!

Plus, i’m doing this just for mere entertainment ;) I just love participate in this kind of events to meet new people, practicing my skills and have fun!

Summary: The anniversary date it’s here! How will they react about this?

Pairing: Current John and Ronnie :)

Warnings: Angst, some humor, some swearing, some fluff too. Mention of death.

Word count: 2139 words, perhaps my longest fic. If not, the second one.

Prompt used: Anniversary Day

First part

January 11th. Just like another weekend, another morning. He left very early his bed, trying to not wake up her. He wants some quientness to drink his tea. He wants to forget for a moment everything. Ever that next Saturday will be 18th. Just like in 1975. A cold Saturday in that catholic church, where Freddie made a particular entrance. Remembering that made him smile, but then was so upset, because Fred were ruining the strict ceremony. 

“I’ll always love you bud. Cheers for you” he said rising his almost empty cup of tea watching the sky through the windom and finishing his tea. 

His eyes were shining. His smile, wide. Until…

“Morning, no?” she said near to him.

He jumpscared a bit.

“God Ron! You know that I have heart problems…” he exaggerated putting his left hand in his chest.

She laughed.

“Exaggerated as always…” she added.

“Morning, yeah!?” he said finally, letting the empty cup of tea in the nearest table.

She started to prepare her breakfast. 

“Who you were talking?”

Lighting a cigarette, he said “I… just remembered something Ron.” He aspired the smoke deeply. Now the cigarette are between his index and his middle finger of his right hand. 

“Something happy”. Let go to the smoke through his nose.

Her eyes focused in him and smiling widely.

“I just remembered when Freddie entered to the church with that two girls in our wedding.” He aspired the smoke again. “Hahahaha… he couldn’t did it in another way!”

Her face turned so quickly in an deceptioned expression.

“oh… that, haha.” she said meanwhile she was preparing her tea.

Letting go the smoke but now from his mouth, he smiled mischievously. He did it again.

---------------------------------------------------

In the afternoon of that Saturday, the couple received a video call of their youngest offspring.

“Hiiiiii dad!! Hiiii mom!!!” he said with his habitual happiness, smiling widely.

Both parents greeted to their son.

The young continued talking.

“How you feel knowing that next Sat will be your anniversary?”

Ronnie smiled widely. “FINE!!”

But he stared at the camera and rolled his eyes, sighing. “Another year” he said kinda melancholic.

His son and his wife watched at him.

“Huh? I was honest.” But really he wasn’t real honest…

Trying to change the mood, Cameron added with a smile “Well, the fans are more excited for that than you, and you’re the one that’s married with that lady” winking an eye to his mom.

Being visible upset, the old man said: “That fans, ha! Try to be married at least 5 years and have 3 children in the meantime and after they can say if they’re happy with that life! I have enough of that fans speaking about me like the cute one, the good dad! I wasn’t one all the time for fucking god's sake!”. He raised of his chair and slammed the door of the room.

“Another time with that rant about the fans…” she said sighing and watching at her child.

“Well, let’s speak about you then mom. You have plans to the anniversary?” he said trying to make smile to the 69 years old woman.

She said “yeah. I reserved a table in Nobu for that day” and smiled shyly.

“MOOOOOOM, that restaurant it’s so famous. Every famous people will can see you with Dad there” almost shout the young man.

“It’s my intention, son.” and she smiled kinda mischievously.

-------------------------------

Second part

Another 18th came finally. Another year. Another cold winter day. Another time where he remembered why he did that.

He opened his eyes that morning earlier than usual. He watched at his side. She was snoring softly. 

Finally he decided take his morning tea. Putting his robe and his winter flip-flops, go to the kitchen. He’s trying to not make any noise. More than ever, this morning needs that Ronnie don’t wake up at the same time than him. More than ever wants some silence and time with himself.

In the kitchen, he puts to boil some water to his tea. Meanwhile, he smokes a cigarette watching at outside through the window, still dark.

“45 damn years today. For good or bad... “ he sigh deeply meanwhile he was thinking. “Sometimes I ask myself why I did that. Sometimes I wanted to get away from this life, but for some reason i’m still here. Perhaps i’m tired of trying? I don’t know.” He aspired the smoke and let it go in a deep exhalation. “The only certainty it’s that I decided 45 years ago that beautiful slim prego lady, now an old woman, be my wife. Her…” and his thoughts were interrupted for the sound of the boiling water. “For fucking god’s sake…” he mumbled, while he turned off the fire. He prepared the tea and go to his “office” to check the internet. “Let’s see what the people say about me today… Wait. It’s early… Don’t care. I’ll be with this all day long if it’s necessary. This will be more fun than always.”

He sat at his desk with his computer, with his tea in one side. Meanwhile the PC was initializing, he was with a lot of expectative.

He sips his tea and opened the navigator. Typed the right search in the search bar. “Gosh, a lot of thing already. That people really loves me being with her”, he whispered. Clicks in the first result. And he started to laugh. “Happy 45th anniversary blahblahblah, his marriage its the proof that the love always wins” he said reading the text on that post in a social network. “Little person, it’s just the proof that I prefer be with her for a reason. Well... Six reasons. Hahahaha” he “responded”. 

Another post. That one, a drawing. “Oh okay, I look cute with her, goooootcha” he said  with a pinch of sarcasm. 

A fic. In this he stopped to read it entirely. He almost ended his tea meanwhile. And his laugh was harder. “These little girls haves a lot of imagination. Gosh, why I’m almost always the good boy in this things? Hahahahaha”

And another, and another, and another… He passed a lot of his morning there, having fun or merely entertain himself with the posts of the fandom. More than always.

Ronnie wake up. And her husband isn’t there with her. “John… at least today…” she though resigned meanwhile she puts her robe and his flip-flops.

When she was about to down the stairs, she listened a loud laugh. “He’s in the studio”.

She knocked the door. 

And he sighed. “why Ronnie?” he though. But he said “come in!”, still laughing.

“Morning Ronnie!” he said as any morning. But that one wasn't like any morning. Was the morning.

She stared at him, after close the door behind her. 

“Just that?”

He rolled his eyes, sighing.

“Happy anniversary Ronnie!” and he smiled quite exaggerated. “Come here”.

She was with mixed thoughts and kinda hysterical, but she approached him. She after a few steps was at his side. He hugged her, still in that comfy chair, with funny face. She couldn’t resist to hug him too, caressing his almost bald head. “Sometimes I hate your behavior John” though Ronnie. “But anyways i think that I still like to be with you, haha”, continued in her mind, quite smiling.

He, moving his face to leave that embrace, said “Well honey, I told it. I was cute no? hahaha. Stay with me and have fun with me reading that things that under 30-years-old girls write and draw about us”.

She stepped away from him.

“John, that people are just being kind with you. A lot of people recognize you now. A whole new generation. And they’re educated greeting us for the anniversary”, she said watching at him.

He laughed. Turning his chair in her direction, he continued talking. 

“Ron, that people thinks that marriage its easy, plus having 6 SIX kids to raise! Isn’t nice, it’s hard! And super stressful!”

Her face showed her nuisance.

“Ha, really you say that? You always recording or touring or in an endless holidays. I raised OUR kids ALONE a lot of time!”

He sighed so deeply. He started to need another cigarette. Now his arms are crossed.

“Really this again? Honey, stop. We fixed that already. Now i’m more at home with you and I helped a lot raising to our youngest kids”

Without thinking in the repercussion of her words, she said “Yeah, just because Freddie died before the birth of our youngest ones” and she half turned to her left, arms crossed.

He was without words. Was like a dagger in his heart. He didn’t knew how to react. A lot of mixed feelings. His hands in his face, he reclined his head.

“Veronica, get out.”

She, watching the results of her impulse, tried to fix that situation… in vain.

“But John, it wasn’t m-”

“GET. OUT.” His words were like a sharp.

She left the room, almost crying. “Well I’ll change my clothes meanwhile… and ill make my breakfast” she though in the meanwhile.

--------------------

That old wound was opened. he remembered that words about getting older together writing songs. he remembered how Freddie cheered him up to write songs, how he said once “shhhh John it’s creating”. He remembered noticed that scars. And knowing that his friend would die sooner than everyone expected. “He had a lot to give… We lost a lot of moments together for that damn disease. He was my real fuel to composing, and when he gone, my interest faded away. I just wanted to survive…” he started to think. He raise of his chair and took an old whiskey that he had over there, serve a glass of it and drank it of one sip. He lighted that necessary cigarette, now watching at the window, immersed in memories, in things that happened… He cried.

In audible voice, he said

“Fuck you Ronnie. Why you said that? Why you opened that wound again?” He sighed deeply, putting the cigarette in his mouth and aspiring the smoke. “I can’t live with you, but I can’t live without you, sadly.” Exhaled the smoke for his mouth. “Why I couldn’t leave you? I’m a masochistic? I love a lot to my offspring? In the very deep inside, I still love you? I don’t know really…” Aspired the smoke of the cigarette again, the last one. The cigarette its too short now. Throwing the cigarette to the floor, he stepped on it, turning it off. Exhaling the smoke, he continued. “You are my life, despite all the events. I give you my life. My love. My “freedom”. I married with you just having 23 years old. I REALLY loved you. Now?” He sighs deeply. “I don’t know. I just know that I don’t hate you”.

He didn’t knew that those words were listened for her, she opened silently the door minutes ago to apologize her  for her words and she stared there, listening.

“John…” she said with tears in her eyes.

He turned his face enough to show her that he noticed her presence, smiling. She entered to the room running. She hugged him. “Sorry John. I- I was impulsive”.

Now watching at the window again, he said “nothing to sorry. It’s okay” and he placed his left hand over her hand that was hugging him from the back. He take that hand and kissed it. He turned to her and hugged her tightly.

“You should knocked that door first, he said, leaving the embrace.

“well, I-” started to say Ronnie, kinda scared.

“hahahaha! Relax! Now come with me and read that things that the people say about us” he said going to sit to his chair again.

“No John.” she said, shaking his head.

“Uh Ron, you’re booooooring! hahahah”

“That aren’t plans for an anniversary” she said, getting closer to him.

Watching at her eyes, he said “and go for a dinner today? We don’t usually go to dinner and you want TODAY? Oh, and I just hope that you didn’t asked to the Father of the parish  to office a Mass for our anniversary! I’ll not go to the church today, and nevermore!” 

She stared in silence, incapable to react. Her plans are discovered.

He watched at her, smiling mischievously. “Ha, Mrs you’re so predictable…” he thought.

She, trying to cover her real intentions, responded “Eeeeeh, no. I didn’t do that! You know me John, hehe… I’ll just cook a special meal.”

“No Ron. I’ll do that, and I promise, will not be cheese on toast” he replied smiling lightning another cigarette.

He had a surprise. But one that just he knew… And eventually Ronnie. Because something like that deserves an adequate celebration. And will be at Deacon style.

---------------------------------------------------

If you liked this fic, please reblog and leave a comment! (or if you’re shy, a reply, some emojis as response or an ask (could be in anon!)).

-Lily.

[myfalsedevotion]

Rare as Gold | All the Hues of Blue | Ch.1 Sneak Peek

Hiiii!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t even know if people remember All the Hues, but, I felt like Calum’s and Ashton’s story wasn’t really complete during that fic, so I have been planning and drafting the next part of their story during the past year. This is a project I hold really close to my heart, and same as last time, feel happy to share.

I will start posting Friday, and those who read All the Hues probably remember I’m a very slow writer (probably because I over-stuff chapters with words...). Well. I have like 2.5 chapters finished out of 13 (I’ve been doing Nanowrimo and that’s all of what I’ve written, I’m going to die finishing this hahaha). It will take some time for me to complete the whole fic, but I’d love if any of you got back into the story with me.

Here’s a sneak peek of the first chapter, hope you enjoy if you read it!

***

“What are you making?” Ashton asked, hooking his chin over Calum’s shoulder. 

“Nothing much.” Calum shrugged, turning his head around for a quick kiss before he turned his attention back to the stove, stirring the mix on the pot.

Ashton had just put on Calum’s dad’s old Frank Sinatra Christmas record, and the soft sounds of I’ll be home for Christmas reaching the kitchen were making Calum feel even more rueful over missing Christmas in this place. Next year he was going to convince Ashton of having Christmas dinner here. He didn’t care how or where they would have their families stay. He’d pay for a goddam hotel. Just to get Christmas in his home, with Ashton. 

“Smells great.” Ashton noted, leaving a kiss on Calum’s neck that made him think Ashton was maybe thinking the same.

“If you give me two minutes, you’ll taste it.” Calum laughed, patting Ashton’s hands on his stomach, the older letting go and hopping into the counter as Calum busied himself turning the stove off and serving the mix into two mugs. 

“What’s that?” 

“Pumpkin spice latte.” Calum grinned as he left the pot on the sink, filling it with water. 

“I didn’t take you for a pumpkin spice latte guy.” Ashton joked from behind him. 

“You’ve ordered them before at Starbucks, I wanted to try making them for you.”

“If you continue making all this stuff at home for me the ones outside won’t ever match up.” 

“Would that be so bad?” Calum inquired, shifting to look at Ashton, who was observing him from his perched up position with an amused smile pulling at his lips.

The older shook his head in answer before adding, “It’s just… you’re spoiling me rotten.” 

“Oh, am I?” Calum wiggled his eyebrows, walking until he was standing in between Ashton’s legs, hands clutching his thighs, pressing himself close and smirking at Ashton. The older broke out laughing, but he was also blushing, so Calum checked that box of still being able to make him blush so easily even after a year. It was an awesome feeling. 

“You know what I meant.” Ashton complained. His eyes were fixed on Calum’s, his breath coming a little harder than before. It just fuelled Calum even more. 

“I can spoil you rotten, for real.” He casually dropped, wanting to see Ashton’s reaction. 

It had been a couple of weeks since the last time they switched. Calum was a sucker for an order, and yeah, having Ashton calling the shots did it for him. But… he kind of missed this game too. Missed having Ashton panting underneath him as he kept his wrists pinned down, giving him everything, making him feel good.

Ashton was blushing a tenfold, but he also hadn’t said no to it. Calum leant forward slowly, giving Ashton every chance to break out laughing and refuse what Calum was proposing. When he didn’t, Calum nuzzled his nose before lightly brushing his lips with Ashton’s, taking in the way Ashton’s breath hitched and smirking at it. A year on and still it surprised Calum how much a sound like that could turn him on. He left a soft kiss on the corner of Ashton’s mouth and then stepped back, content when the older seemed to follow him for another kiss.

Spoiling Ashton rotten wasn’t just about sex, though, so with a smile he turned back to the fridge and searched it for the whipped cream. Those lattes wouldn’t drink themselves on their own.

“You want cream?” He asked innocently, turning back to Ashton.

The older was flushed to his ears, his hands clutching the edge of the counter as he nodded quickly, clearly not trusting himself to speak. Step one completed. The innuendo was just making everything better, and the black-haired boy had to fight hard not to start giggling right then and there. He could hear the turntable on the background, the white noise filling in the silence after it having played the record entirely.

“Cinnamon?” Calum asked next as he stepped around Ashton to get to their spices, reachingfor the nutmeg, ginger and cinnamon he already had used in the mix. 

“Do you really have to ask?” Ashton choked. 

Calum did giggle that time, leaning for a kiss that Ashton eagerly returned before he finished assembling the beverages.

“Here you go, baby.” Calum grinned, handing Ashton his favourite mug with almost too much whipped cream topping it and lots of cinnamon sprinkled over it. 

“Thank you.” Ashton laughed, shaking his head before he tried taking a sip, very obviously burning his tongue as he scrunched up his face. “How can that still be scalding hot?” He complained. 

Calum stared at him for a full minute before he burst into giggles, raising his hand to wipe away the cream moustache that had stayed on Ashton’s upper lip before answering. 

“Shall we sit down on the couch for a bit? We can watch a film or something.” He suggested. 

“A movie? I thought…?” Ashton trailed off, squinting at him. 

“A movie for now.” Calum giggled, closing the distance between them and giving a playful bite to Ashton’s neck, where he knew the older was extra sensitive. “We’ll see what else later.” He winked at Ashton, leaving the kitchen with his mug, going towards the turntable and switching it off, closing the lid and going straight for his side of the couch.

[ssweetener]

I was at the Boston concert but I had the rly cheap seats lol and it was still amazing ofc but can you tell us some of what yall talked about in the Q&A/sound check? I want to live vicariously through you ( also i cant beleive you got to see her with pignoli 😣 😣😣😣)

hiiii yes i can bullet some of the things ariana talked about, nothing that interesting happened aside from her talking about pignoli a majority of the time and i don’t remember all of it but she’d ramble about everything and overall was just the cutest human on the entire earth :( 

they started the q&a introducing the dancers and brian & scott did a majority of the talking. brian had everyone say happy birthday to scott in advance since his birthday is on march 12th and as soon as everyone only said it to scott he was like…..”thank you everyone, it’s my birthday too, we’re twins.” not ariana related but it was cute haha

she first walked on stage holding pignoil in her arms and as soon as she was handed the microphone she sounded like she was about to cry and said something along the lines of “i can’t believe i’m holding something this small he isn’t real” and then went on about how she was going to talk low the entire q&a because she didn’t want to scare him. joan just surprised her with him backstage an hour or so before the q&a happened and ariana refused to put him down. she said she wanted to do the actual show with him in her arms and then started doing the be alright choreography with one arm and scott & brian joined in :’) i wrote a longer, more detailed post about pignoli here 

joan was sitting towards the side of the audience and when pignoli was mentioned she told all of us that she adopted him from a shelter in philly and that he’s a dachshund-mini chihuahua mix. someone asked ariana to do the lion king thing with him on stage and she said she was too scared to lift him that high 

brian asked anyone in the audience if they were at her very first tour the listening sessions and i was the only one to raise my hand with another girl so he pointed straight at me and was like “wooaaah that’s insane!” and i mentioned how i met ariana in 2013 at her first philadelphia show and she was like “aw yay that’s so cool” in the sweetest voice and i can’t tell you what happened after that because i’m pretty sure i blacked out hahaha. they also asked if anyone went to the ariana’s first ever show at irvington plaza back in 2011 but nobody raised their hand for that one

she was wearing her oversized pizza roll sweatshirt and someone in the audience thanked her for switching up her style and bringing back the oversized look and ariana was like “oh thanks, i can’t really take credit for that though” and then went into a lil rant about how she wished people would keep their opinions about what other’s wore to themselves because it’s the least of their problems 

a little girl was called on that had to be around 5 or 6 and told ariana that she loved her on “victoria justice” and ariana was confused for a moment until she realized she meant victorious. she laughed and just said that it was a really fun time of her life

a fan brought up going on vacation and her favorite place to go and ariana laughed it off and said “vacation….that’s a thought”

she talked a lot about getting to explore japan and how it was really special to her because a lot of places she goes to she’s booked the entire time and doesn’t have the opportunity to get out and see each city

someone asked if mac was in philly with her and at the show and ari said that he left earlier that morning but they spent their day off together. the same person also asked if she had any plans of performing “my favorite part” or “the way” during the interchangeable section of any of her shows and i don’t remember her exact answer but she didn’t sound too into it lol 

that’s all really worth mentioning since she spent a lot of time gushing over pignoli but it was a really cute experience that made me feel like i was friends with her and just chatting for a whole 30 minutes. i spent a majority of the time just staring at her because it’s hard to comprehend a single person can be so cute and cuddly and so inviting. ugh i love her