#high cut december 2017

[red-phantom-0]

The dead haunts me

Pt.3 of Damien x Tokyo Ghoul sib. Reader

-> Read part 1 , part 2 here

──► after the death of his beloved sibling , Damien Wayne sets out hellbent on seeking his rightful justice even if it means betraying the world , betraying his family , and betraying them .

Tw : mentions of human abuse , mention of animal abuse , attempted self-harm , blood , gore , dark obsession

April 7th 2009 ,

help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help mehelp me help me help me help me help me help me help mehelp me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help mehelp me help me help me help me

April 8th, 2009

Today, I was allowed to peak through the window again , I got to see a Robin !! I wish I had wings as beautiful as the Robin. It's such a pretty shade of brown like the hot coco mama used to make on Christmas. If I were a Robin, I would fly as high as the clouds, and I'd never fly back down ! I only got electrocuted five times today , maybe because of yesterday ..... but hey, at least I got to see a Robin today !

April 9th , 2009

kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me .

April 10th , 2009

I failed another test yesterday . I couldn't do it , the dog was innocent, and she had little heartbeats in her tummy . I didn't wanna kill her , she was someone's best friend , someone's mum, even if she was a stray dog. The dog looked so scared, so I hugged the dog ! But I don't think they liked that because they hit me a lot . But it was okay because I kept hugging her because I didn't want them to hit me . Then he shoved me off her - I promise I tried , I tried to get up, but he pushed me down with his foot . He then.... ate her .....he ate her, and her blood was all over me . It's my fault she's gone , it's my fault she's dead - I'm so sorry, mummy , daddy, I didn't wanna be a monster .

December 15th , 2016

I made a new friend named Damien ! He's really cool . He has two awesome katanas, and he let me touch one ! I accidentally cut my finger, but that's okay ! We've been good friends for a while , apparently, he's Mr. Wayne's birth son, which is really cool. Imagine having batman as a dad ! Anyway I have to go on patrol with my new friend now !

February 4th, 2017

I cried on my new friends shoulder today , was pretty embrassing, but he hugged me back, and he was super warm !! I accidentally stabbed a suspect - it wasn't supposed to happen, and it was reflexes I swear because he came out of nowhere . Tim called me a monster because of it as the suspect was gurgling and bleeding but honest it wasn't my fault, and plus, he had an assault rifle ! Thankfully, Damien was there to back me up, and he told Tim off but still I feel so bad I didn't want to be a monster but Damien hugged me and promised me that we aren't monsters , we just grew up differently than them .

These entries are the property of Y/N Wayne .

Damien couldn't tell you the last time he slept . Everytime he closed his eyes , the vivid memory of y/n's dead form laying there bleeding in that field replays before him liek a broken record - sometimes in the dead of the night he can hear them calling out to him for help only to but immediately cut off abruptly like that night.

Whenever he's not pouring through countless articles about Arima or what happened that night, he's pouring through Y/n's life entries to the point he's memorized every page since its the one thing that has him grounded to earth anymore.

It's been a year . A year . And nothing, he couldn't find anything about Arima , nothing about the organization he works with , nothing about what happened to you that night, and he's bloody gone mad . It's like whatever happened that night vanished .

He asked - no begged Bruce on his hands and knees , till they were bloodied and bruised to help him search for you and even he - even he couldn't find anything about you . He feels so incredibly useless , mad , angry, somber, and tired, but his mind won't rest until he knows - until he's has avenged you.

Damien finds himself in their room again - like clockwork , his body unconsciously takes him here everytime , he doesn't know why but his body always guide him back here , to a home that's no longer here . He crashes on your bed and sobs loudly.

He sobs and screams his heart out before his lungs burn, and he has no more tears . Bruce stands in the doorframe as he looks at his son's disheveled form . He steps in carefully and approaches his sullen form. He doesn't know if Damien wants his company to begin with, but he shows no signs of being disturbed .

" Damien, we will get to the bottom of this, and we will arrest the culprit. It's just gonna take time -" Bruce says as he rubs Damien's back in a soothing manner . " Arrest them ? I'm going to bloody murder whoever it is, " Damien seethes out as he clutches onto the bedsheets in anger.

Bruce scowls . " They wouldn't want that," he muttered out . Damien stills underneath him before kicking him square , sending Bruce flying into a wall . " YOU DON'T GET TO SAY WHAT THEY WANT," he screams back.

Hearing the commotion , Dick runs into the room and makes a beeline to his father . " Damien what the fuck -" he curses as he helps pick up his father . Damien seethes , red is practically all he sees at this point .

" Damien - we both know they don't like death - what makes you think they'd like it if you took another's life " Bruce says between coughs . Damien shoots him a glare. " DON'T PLAY SAINT WITH ME BRUCE , THEYRE DEAD , THEYRE GONE BECAUSE SOME SICK FUCK AND IF YOU HADN'T HELD ME BACK THAT NIGHT THEY'D BE HERE WITH ME " Damien shouts as he punches the wall next to him.

Dick sends him a glare . " You're absolutely gone mad." Damien gives him a sick smile , " I've gone mad long time. You're just now realizing it." Bruce's shakes his head as he leans against Dick for support . " Don't do this, Damien , don't go down this road," Bruce pleads with his son. Damien shakes his head. " Because of your - no our incompetence , following your pathetic morals , trying to be nice , trying to be diplomatic, they're dead so no father. I WILL BE JUSTICE , I WILL BRING IT , I WILL FORCE IT UPON GOTHAM AND YOU ALL SHALL BARE IT , Damien promises before vanishing off into the night.

Blood stains his shirt , his hands , his face as he moves through the night skillfully, leaving a bloodbath in his wake. The once quiet night of Gotham was now filled with pleads and screams of criminals. Damien decided that since he couldn't find out who did it , he might as well eliminate all possibilities...permenantly.

Bodies were left bleeding out , some were twisted and mauled beyond recognition as Damien carried out his reign of justice . Damien had just finished dismembering a child predator when he heard someone approaching from behind him .

Without any hesitation, he spun around and threw a knife at them. Silence filled th air before the figure emerged from the shadows , knife caught skillfully between their fingers with a stark face . Arima stood before Damien with a cold look.

" You're as messy as a ghoul , almost like them," he states coolly before throwing the knife back Damien's way . Damien dodges it and sends the man a glare . " You," He seethes as he unsheathes both katnas . " Me," Arima confirms as he pushes his hands into his coat. " Why?" Damien spits out . "Why them.." he pleads.

Arima stares at him blankly. " They're like any other ghoul in my world. They're monsters that deserve to die , a monster that had to be put down, " he finishes. A breeze blow between them, and Damien feels himself giving in to blood thirst.

" THEY WERE A GOOD PERSON," he said defensively as tears began slipping down his cheeks. Arima says nothing for a moment and just stares at him . " Damien , sooner or later, they'd become a danger to your universe when they eventually gave in to their urges " he says with a matter of fact tone.

Damien lunges at him , ready to dehead him, but Aima kicks him into a building with heavy force . Damien let's out a pained groaned as rubble crumble upon him like a tidal wave . " They would never eat humans," Damien says as he struggled onto his feet .

Arima simply adjusts his glasses . " They won't but that ghoul inside them would of." Damien lunges after him again, but Arima blocks him with his hand. " People like them are made into monsters." Arima starts as he blocks another one of Damien's jabs . " People like them would pray to God every night and cry their lungs out asking the world why they are the way they are," he continues as he continues dodging Damien's attempts to kill him.

Damien gets angrier the more he speaks and the more he dodges and attempts to pierce Arima in his eye like he did with them but arima simply holds his blade in a tight grip and kicks the other out of his hold sending it flying elsewhere. " There is no hope for people like them but death," Arima says as he stares into Damiens' eyes . Damien curses him out, but Arima ignores him.

" Tell me , you claim to love them so dearly, yet you hurt them more than I ever could that night." Arima finshes before he throws Damien against a wall . This time , Damien couldn't get up , he's too tired, too sore, too beaten - all he could do was cry pathetically.

" I didn't - I never hurt them i-" he stammered. Arima stares at him , " You did , you kill all of those people - curse them for cruelty they never deserved - tell me - you loved them so dearly - you know they hate seeing death so why taint their soul with the death of so many , " Arima finishes before he disappears into the abyss leaving Damiens broken body to weep alone .

" I didn't- I did it for them , I did it for them , all for them - I- love them - i still do - I- y/n my beloved you know I mean good - your big brother was just protecting you , I still am - my precious sibling I'll fix everything -" Damien says between broken sobs . In that very moment , his bruised hand picks up his discarded knife and pierces his own eye with it .

" Don't worry sibling - they don't understand my intentions - they don't get what I've done for you " He stammered as his blood bleeds down his figure . Damien lays there broken , swearing to avenge them over and over like a broken record .

At that moment, Batman landed on the nearby building before his gaze lands on Damien's broken father. Batman immediately grapples to his son - immediately phoning Alfred for an ambulance. " Damien, what have you done " Batman questions as he picks up his son's broken figure.

" Justice, father," Damien replies with a smile . Ambulance wails in the distance as they approach closer. " No , Damien, you became something they would never want , a monster," Batman says as he grapples them away .

Pt. 4 or do yall want more on their relationship???

[mydaddywiki]

Kirby Smart

Physique: Husky Build Height: 5'10" (1.78 m)

Kirby Paul Smart (born December 23, 1975) is an American football coach and former player. He is the current head football coach at the University of Georgia, his alma mater. As head coach, he led the Bulldogs to back-to-back national championships in 2021 and 2022.

Handsome, solid body, nice dick sucking lips (dsls) and if you look closely you will note that he has a ferociously furry arms. So he's possibly hair. I must of had blinders on before because I never realize how hot Kirby is. I don’t know why I haven’t notice him til now. Oh I know, I haven’t seen a Georgia game in who knows how long. Now I’m going to change that.

Born in Montgomery, AL, and grew up in Bainbridge, GA. Smart began his playing career at Bainbridge High School and went on to play college football at the University of Georgia. Smart graduated from the Terry College of Business in 1998 with a bachelor's degree in finance. He went undrafted in the 1999 NFL draft and signed a free-agent contract with the Indianapolis Colts. He spent the 1999 preseason with the team but was cut before the start of the regular season. In 2003, Kirby attended Florida State University for graduate school.

Smart began his coaching career with the University of Georgia in 1999, Valdosta State in 2001, and at Florida State while pursuing a master's degree from 2002 to 2003. Smart then spent one season under head coach Nick Saban in 2004 before following to Miami Dolphins in 2006 then to the University of Alabama in 2007. On December 1, 2015, it was "reported" that Smart had been hired as the next coach for Georgia.

Again married… aren't all the hot ones? He pretty much seems to have lived and breathed football his entire life, when he wasn't marrying his college sweetheart, Mary "Beth" Elizabeth Lycett (awww) and having three kids. There isn't much else I can say about him. He's good looking and I'd love to fuck him until his head caved in. Well, he would probably disagree.

Head Coaching Record Overall: 100–17 Bowls: 9–2 Tournaments: 5–1 (CFP) National 2 SEC (2017, 2022) 6 SEC East Division (2017–2019, 2021–2023)

Accomplishments and Honors Awards: George Munger Award (2017) 3× SEC Coach of the Year (2017, 2021, 2022) Broyles Award (2009) AFCA Assistant Coach of the Year (2012) First-team All-SEC (1998) Second-team All-SEC (1997)

[redgoldsparks]

December Reading and Reviews

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.

I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying written and read by Youngmi Mayer

I was only vaguely aware of Youngmi Mayer from tiktok before picking up the audiobook of this blunt and honest memoir, read by the author. I think experiencing it as an audiobook greatly enhanced my experience- the sections in which the author's voice shook with emotion when describing, in particular, the hardships her family experienced during the Japanese occupation of Korea, meant the memories hit much harder than they might have if I was reading in print. Overall I was very impressed by Mayer's insights on her multi-cultural mixed-race childhood, how her parents' traumas impacted their ability to be present for their kids, and how that damage played out in her teens and early twenties. This book tackles a lot of heavy subjects including colonial violence, bullying, fat-shaming, eating disorders, drug use, suicide, and depression. The tone, which is almost aggressively matter-of-fact, with flashes of piercing insight and occasional jokes, kept me riveted. I do wish a late chapter on a brief queer relationship had been more thoughtful; that was one section that felt kind of half-baked and unnecessarily gender-binary. But overall I'd still recommend this memoir, especially for those looking for critical takes on the fault lines of both Korean and American culture.

Blue Period vol 1 by Tsubasa Yamaguchi 

This manga follows a high school boy who's good at school, has a pack of friends, but no specific ambitions in life. A few comments by a charismatic art teacher challenge him to try and honestly express himself through art. A competitive streak pushes him to join the art club and begin actually applying himself. Along the way, the teacher and his fellow art club members explain many concrete basics of drawing from life, and how to apply to art colleges in Japan. These aspects of the story reminded me of the real-life manga creation information included in Bakuman. I like the idea of a manga series focused on fine art and the challenges and rewards of pursuing it. I did struggle with the fact that the drawing in this book is only okay. Some of the figure drawing of characters is downright bad, with bizarre pose choices. There are also some kind of confusing interactions between the characters early on- one member of the art club is either a cross-dresser or trans femme, and the way this character and the main character talked it felt like they were supposed to be childhood friends? I kept expecting a flashback to their earlier relationship that never came. So, we'll see if I end up reading more. Great concept, mid-level execution.

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat vol 1 by Sakaomi Yuzaki translated by Caleb Cook 

This slow-burn lesbian comic is as cute as everyone has been saying. A woman who loves cooking elaborate meals, but lives alone, notices a female neighbor in the apartment complex carrying a huge amount of takeout food home. Impulsively, she invites her neighbor in for dinner. This begins a gentle routine of joint shopping, cooking, and meal planning together. Will this food-based friendship develop into something more? I will have to keep reading to find out!

Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion written and read by Jia Tolentino 

This book was written in 2017-2018, and I still often hear essays from it quoted, especially the opening piece "The I in the Internet". Some of the essays in here already feel a bit passed their sell-by date, but several of the ones I read after the most recent election still have teeth, especially "The Story of a Generation in Seven Scams", which made me furious, and "We Come from Old Virginia", examining rape culture on college campuses. I also enjoyed two two of the more personal/autobiographical pieces, "Reality TV Me" and "Ecstasy" quite a lot. Your mileage will vary with this book depending on what type of topics you care about, but I'm glad I finally picked up this collection.

Autoboyography by Christina Lauren read by Deacon Lee and Kyle Mason 

Set in Provo, Utah, this queer teen romance centers a bisexual, Jewish high school senior, Tanner, who is closeted at school despite being out to his supporting family. Tanner and his best friend Autumn decide to sign up for a notoriously difficult class in their last semester- a seminar in which the students try to write the complete first draft of a novel. Their TA for the class is a college freshman from BYU, Sebastian, who took the seminar the year before and produced a novel that actually had legs. He signed a book deal and has his first fantasy novel due out in the following summer. Also, he's tall, handsome, kind, generous, and very very Mormon. Tanner falls for him immediately. I found the first 1/3 of this book very rushed; the insta-love didn't really work for me. But when I got deeper into the novel I realized the authors had speed-run a meet cute because what they actually wanted to write was an established relationship. Tanner and Sebastian go through multiple ups and downs, breakups and makeups, book releases, college acceptances, family and friendship conflicts. Despite the pacing issues, it's an affirming story of queer acceptance in the end which I did enjoy on audio.

Off Stage Love Side by Kamome Oshima

A Japanese idol has been crushing on a man he met in a gay bar five years ago for his entire career. Then that man is assigned as his new bodyguard. Shocking twist! Fairly cute, but I honestly wished it had been a 5 book slow-burn instead of a single volume that ended with them getting together.

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat vol 2 by Sakaomi Yuzaki translated by Caleb Cook 

This series is already getting more cute and more gay in book 2! Neighbors Nomoto and Kasuga continue to plan meals, shopping trips, and holidays together but now they are also beginning to share deeper feelings and memories from their lives. And also... Nomoto has her first lesbian crisis googling session. I'm rooting for these foodies! I hope they Uhaul in book 3.

Moomin Builds a House by Tove Jansson 

A short sweet arc from the early days of the Moomin comic strips, which show how Little My ended up living with the Moomin family. When she takes over his room, Moomin decides to build a whole new house. This is harder than he anticipated!

The Wood At Midwinter by Susanna Clarke

A very brief piece of winter magic.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Mike Luckovich

* * * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

December 11, 2024

Heather Cox Richardson

Dec 12, 2024

Yesterday, President Joe Biden spoke at the Brookings Institution, where he gave a major speech on the American economy. He contrasted his approach with the supply-side economics of the forty years before he took office, an approach the incoming administration of Donald Trump has said he would reinstate. Biden urged Trump and his team not to destroy the seeds of growth planted over the past four years. And he laid out the extraordinary successes of his administration as a benchmark going forward.

The president noted that Trump is inheriting a strong economy. Biden shifted the U.S. economy from 40 years of supply-side economics that had transferred about $50 trillion from the bottom 90% to the top 1% and hollowed out the middle class.

By investing in the American people, the Biden team expanded the economy from “the middle out and the bottom up,” as Biden says, and created an economy that he rightfully called “the envy of the world.” Biden listed the numbers: more than 16 million new jobs, the most in any four-year presidential term in U.S. history; low unemployment; a record 20 million applications for the establishment of new businesses; the stock market hitting record highs.

Biden called out that in the two years since Congress passed the Inflation Reduction Act and the CHIPS and Science Act, the private sector has jumped on the public investments to invest more than a trillion dollars in clean energy and advanced manufacturing.

Disruptions from the pandemic—especially the snarling of supply chains—and Russian president Vladimir Putin’s attack on Ukraine created a global spike in inflation; the administration brought those rates back to around the Fed’s target of 2%.

Biden pointed out that “[l]ike most…[great] economic developments, this one is neither red nor blue, and America’s progress is everyone’s progress.”

But voters’ election of Donald Trump last month threatens Biden’s reworking of the economy. Trump and his team embrace the supply-side economics Biden abandoned. They argue that the way to nurture the economy is to free up money at the top of the economy through deregulation and tax cuts. Investors will then establish new industries and jobs more efficiently than they could if the government intervened. Those new businesses, the theory goes, will raise wages for all Americans and everyone will thrive.

Trump and MAGA Republicans have made it clear they intend to restore supply-side economics.

The first priority of the incoming Republican majority is to extend the 2017 Trump tax cuts, many of which are due to expire in 2025. Those tax cuts added almost $2 trillion to budget deficits, but there is little evidence that they produced the economic growth their supporters promised. At the same time, the income tax cuts delivered an average tax cut of $252,300 to households in the top 0.1%, $61,090 to households in the top 1%, but just $457 to the bottom 60% of American households. The corporate tax cuts were even more skewed to the wealthy.

In the Washington Post yesterday, Catherine Rampell noted that Republicans’ claim that extending those cuts isn’t extraordinarily expensive means “getting rid of math.”

At a time when Republicans like Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy, who are leading the new “Department of Government Efficiency,” are clamoring for cuts of $2 trillion from the budget, the Congressional Budget Office estimates that extending the tax cuts will add more than $4 trillion to the federal budget over the next ten years. Republicans who will chair the House and Senate finance committees, Representative Jason Smith (R-MO) and Senator Mike Crapo (R-ID), say that extending the cuts shouldn’t count as adding to the deficit because they would simply be extending the status quo.

Trump has also indicated he plans to turn the country over to billionaires, both by putting them into government and by letting them act as they wish. Last night, on social media, President-elect Trump posted: “Any person or company investing ONE BILLION DOLLARS, OR MORE, in the United States of America, will receive fully expedited approvals and permits, including, but in no way limited to, all Environmental approvals. GET READY TO ROCK!!!”

Biden called out the contrast between these two economic visions, saying that the key question for the American people is “do we continue to grow the economy from the middle out and the bottom up, investing in all of America and Americans, supporting unions and working families as we have the past four years? Or do we��backslide to an economy that’s benefited those at the top, while working people and the middle class struggle…for a fair share of growth and [for an] economic theory that encouraged industries and…livelihoods to be shipped overseas?”

Biden explained that for decades Republicans had slashed taxes for the very wealthy and the biggest corporations while cutting public investment in infrastructure, education, and research and development. Jobs and factories moved overseas where labor was cheaper. To offset the costs of tax cuts, Biden said, ‘advocates of trickle-down economics ripped the social safety net by trying to privatize Social Security and Medicare, trying to deny access to affordable health care and prescription drugs.” He added, “Lifting the fortunes of the very wealthy often meant taking the rights of workers away to unionize and bargain collectively.”

This approach to the economy “meant rewarding short-termism in pursuit of short-term profits [and] extraordinary high executive pay, instead of making long-term investments…. As a consequence, our…infrastructure fell…behind. A flood of cheap imports hollowed out our factory towns.”

“Economic opportunity and innovation became more concentrated in [a] few major cities, while the heartland and communities were left behind. Scientific discoveries and inventions developed in America were commercialized in countries like China, bolstering their manufacturing investment and jobs instead of [our] economy. Even before the pandemic, this economic agenda was clearly failing. Working- and middle-class families were being hurt.”

“[W]hen the pandemic hit,” Biden said, “we found out how vulnerable America was.” Supply chains failed, and prices soared.

Biden told the audience that he “came into office with a different vision for America…: grow the economy from the middle out and the bottom up; invest in America and American products. And when that happens, everybody does…well…no matter where they lived, whether they went to college or not.”

“I was determined to restore U.S. leadership in industries of the future,” he said. The Bipartisan Infrastructure Law, CHIPS and Science Act, and Inflation Reduction Act “mark the most significant investment in America since the New Deal,” with new factories bringing good jobs that are rejuvenating towns that had been left behind in the past decades. Biden said he required that the government buy American goods as the country invested in “modernizing our roads; our bridges; our ports; our airports; our clean water system; affordable, high-speed Internet systems; and so much more.”

Eighty percent of working-age Americans have jobs, and the average after-tax income is up almost $4,000 since before the pandemic, significantly outpacing inflation.

Biden and his team worked to restore competition in the economy—just today, the huge grocery chain Albertsons gave up on its merger with another huge grocery chain, Kroger, after Biden’s Federal Trade Commission sued to block the merger because it would raise prices and lower workers’ wages by eliminating competition—and their negotiations with big pharma have dramatically cut the costs of prescription drugs for seniors. The administration cut junk fees, capping the cost of overdraft fees, for example, from an average of $35 a month to $5.

Biden quoted Jeffrey Sonnenfeld and Stephen Henriques in Time magazine a month ago, saying: “President-elect Trump is receiving the strongest economy in modern history, which is the envy of the world.”

In his speech, Biden noted that it would be “politically costly and economically unsound” to disrupt the decisions and investments the nation has made over the past four years, and he urged Trump to leave them in place. “Will the next president stop a new electric battery factory in Liberty, North Carolina, that will create thousands of jobs?” he asked. “[W]ill we deny seniors living in red states $35-a-month insulin?”

In their article, Sonnenfeld and Henriques noted: “President Trump will likely claim he waved a magic wand on January 20 and the economic clouds cleared,” and they urged people: “Don’t Give Trump Credit for the Success of the Biden Economy.”

Biden gave yesterday’s speech in part to put down benchmarks against which we should measure Trump’s economic policies. “During my presidency, we created [16] million new jobs in America” and saw “the lowest average unemployment rate of…any administration in 50 years.” Economic growth has been a strong 3% on average, and inflation is near 2 percent, he said.

“[T]hese are simple, well-established economic benchmarks used to measure the strength of any economy, the success or failure of any president’s four years in office. They’re not political, rhetorical opinions. They’re just facts,” Biden said, “simple facts. As President Reagan called them, ‘stubborn facts.’”

Biden is willing to bet that if the American people pay attention to those facts, they will recognize that his approach to the economy, rather than supply-side economics, works best for everyone.

Today the NASDAQ Composite index, which focuses on tech stocks, broke 20,000 for the first time.

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[boxboxblog]

Ex Driver Profiles: Kevin Magnussen

Updated December 2024

Name: Kevin Jan Magnussen

Age: 32

Nationality: Danish

Years in F1: 9 (Mclaren 2014, Renault 2016, Haas 2017-2020 and 2022-2024)

Number: 20

WDCs: N/A

Driving Style: An aggressive and no-nonsense driver, Magnussen is known for never backing down from a challenge and being particularly bold in wheel-to-wheel battles. He brakes particularly late, which can lead to some brilliant overtakes. Magnussen as also an extremely hard defender, and has a particular way of positioning his car that makes it difficult to overtake whilst remaining inside the bounds of legality. A negative of his style is that he often does not temper aggressiveness with strategic moves or calmness, causing many crashes and getting penalties often. This leads to him scoring much lower than he feasibly should.

History:

(Young Magnussen in his first kart)

Born into a racing family (his father was an F1 driver) Magnussen got his first kart at age 2, growing up driving. He started professional karting when he was 6 years old and showed strong promise. In 2008 he moved from karting to car racing, participating in Formula Ford in Denmark, and taking the championship with 11 wins. In 2009 Magnussen moved up to Formula Renault 2.0. He had an extremely successful debut season, finishing 2nd in the Northern European cup (NEC) and 7th in the Eurocup. He was also named rookie of the year in the NEC series and displayed strong promise for the future.

(Magnussen, 2009)

In 2010 Magnussen competed in the German Formula Three Championship, winning the opening round of the season at Oschersleben and taking two more race victories. His non-victory races also yielded high points, and he finished 3rd in the season, gaining the rookie of the year award for this series. In 2011 Magnussen moved to the British F3 Championship and had a great year. He won multiple races, and finished 2nd in the standings

(Magnussen on podium in British F3)

Magnussen moved up to the Formula Renault 3.5 Series in 2012 and had a few race wins and high points finishes. He ended the season in 7th place in the championship. He competed once again in 2013, and it was far more successful for Magnussen, claiming five victories, eight other podium places and eight pole positions. He finished the season in first sixty points clear of the runner-up, winning the championship.

(Magnussen after winning the 2013 championship)

Throughout all of this, Magnussen had a relationship with F1, taking part in the Mclaren Young Driver Program from 2010 to 2013. In late 2013 it was announced that Magnussen was signed to Mclaren for the 2014 season, partnering 1x WDC Jenson Button. His first year in F1 was a mix of few highs, few lows, and many middles. His first race was a major high, as he would end the race in 3rd (later getting promoted to 2nd) and become one of the few drivers in F1 history to get a podium in their debut race. The middles were that most of his finishes for the rest of the season were in the 8-10 range, making low points his most normal result. He only finished outside the points a few times. While his performance seemed promising, especially for a rookie, he was replaced for the 2015 season by 2x WDC Fernando Alonso, becoming Mclaren's test and reserve driver.

(Magnussen after achieving podium in 1st F1 race)

The next time Magnussen would have a seat is for Renault in 2016. This would effectively cut off his relationship with Mclaren. His season with Renault would be an unlucky one. A number of races he was forced to retire due to engine problems, punctures, tire failures, and crashes. Regardless, he outperformed his teammate, Jolyon Palmer, scoring a majority of Renault's points. He finished the season 16th in the standings.

2017 Magnussen switched over to Haas, the newest team on the grid. There he would partner Romain Grosjean for the next four years. His time with Haas would be mostly results negative, as the team experienced car issues, money troubles, and other such problems. They almost never produced a competitive car, and so most of Magnussen's results remained in the low or no points positions. He did, however, out perform his teammate every single year they raced together and have a handful of standout performances in 2018. Beyond lower results, Magnussen created a reputation for himself as a dangerous driver due to his aggressive style, and was often at the epicenter of crashes. In 2020 both him and Grosjean were informed that they would not be back in the Haas seats for the 2021 season.

(Magnussen with teammate Romain Grosjean)

Magnussen returned to F1 to replace Russian driver Nikita Mazepin following the Russian invasion of Ukraine (and subsequent European sanctions) in 2022, and signed a multi-year deal with Haas. He partnered Mick Schumacher, son of a F1 legend, and their first year together was spent gaining mostly low level points and a few surprise high ones. 2023 was a more difficult season, and Magnussen (now partnering Nico Hulkenberg) saw a drop in performance. This was due to the fact that the 2023 Haas car did not respond well to Magnussen's driving style, and so he struggled the entire year to get into the points.

(Magnussen in his 2023 Haas)

2024 was a more positive year for Magnussen, especially the tail end of it. He scored multiple high points finishes, was ahead of his teammates for a lot of the latter-end races, and had some great performances. His highest finish was a 7th place finish in Mexico, and he finished 15th in the standings

For the 2025 season he does not have a seat.

Major Races:

2014 Australian GP - Magnussen's first race in F1, and his first podium, getting 2nd place. His solid qualifying and composure during the race made him a standout, and he had a stellar drive.

2014 Russian GP - One of his most underrated performances, Magnussen achieved a 5th place finish after fighting up the grid from 11th. He performed several fantastic overtakes and helped develop a strong strategy. This race displayed his ability to recover from setbacks.

2018 Bahrain GP - With a 5th place finish, Magnussen showed he still had potential in the Haas car. He was able to come back after a rather negative stretch in F1 and gain his team some valuable points.

2018 Austrian GP - Another 5th place finish, Magnussen solidified himself as one of the best midfield drivers, and helped Haas achieve there best ever constructers results. He showed his skill, avoiding race chaos, and navigating his way to a higher points finish.

2022 Brazilian GP - During sprint qualifying Magnussen secured his first ever pole position, His sensational lap showed his ability to capitalize on tricky conditions and pull a strong performance out of a struggling car.

Cheers,

-B

[svtcrus]

December || gojo satoru x gn!reader

ANGST | Hurt with no comfort

a/n : I legit wrote this after going through an eventful moment of sadness from watching the recent episodes of the new jjk season.

NOTE : HEAVY jjk spoilers -> includes the events of volume zero. mentions of death. big old gojo angst (he's written pretty miserable). reader is implied as a sorcerer

synopsis : what happened after december 24th, 2017 ? what happened to you and your lover, gojo satoru?

"let's end this relationship."

it was december 27th when he told you.

it was december 27th when your heart broke.

[spoilers begin after the cut, read at ur own risk]

you knew how much his best friends death altered him, how much pain he was hiding inside. ever since geto fled jujutsu high. ever since he left this cruel world. everyone changed around you. it's not like you had also changed. you've become more wary for your students, even more attentive to satoru's mental wellbeing. but you didn't change as much as satoru did.

when satoru came home that night, he ignored you. heading straight into your shared room. he hasn't come home ever since the 24th.

the night of the 27th, you remember hearing the quiet sniffles in the bedroom as you packed the cold food he never ate. you could sense how broken he was inside, despite putting a happy demeanour every school morning. despite him acting all cheery and idiotic during a time when it was okay to grieve.

but for gojo satoru, he doesn't have the time to grieve.

he's the strongest sorcerer after all. he's always needed, the higher ups don't care if a former sorcerer has passed. even if that very sorcerer was such a prominent one of their time. even if it was satoru's best friend. that's nothing to them when gojo satoru can easily accomplish their deeds for them.

you wondered just how much he was hiding inside that brain of his.

you wondered just how much of that happiness he was displaying for your students was actually true?

so you followed him into the bedroom after putting away his cold platter.

the moment you had set foot into room was when he had dropped the bomb on you.

"w..what?"

but you had never wondered. envisioned. or even spared the thought that his misery would lead to the end of another "we."

"after all, we're the strongest!"

"after all, we're together! of course I love y/n!"

these two sentences rung not only in your head, but also his. what had taken him 3 days of long thought, a thought which scoured ever inch of his brain was you.

what he never told you that day was why.

why? he could never explain the indescribable feeling he was going through. every reason on why he was letting go. but he knew at least this one thing.

gojo satoru never stopped loving you. but love has become the most scariest thing to him in the world. as love is the most twisted curse of all. so, he took a step back. for he can't come face to face with the fears of losing another person he loves so dearly. for love has ruined everything around him. and love is something he believes gojo satoru does not deserve.

gojo satoru cannot come to terms with the potentiality of losing another best friend. his lover. you.

gojo satoru didn't wanna break you like how he's breaking himself from inside. like how he broke his best friend. for you are too good to be true. you are too good to him. and though he is seen as the greatest amongst all. for him? you were his angel while he was the devil.

"it's for the sake of you y/n. I love you. please never forget that. "

every ounce of love he had left was poured onto you. he hopes you will cherish it greatly like how he cherishes yours.

if only infinity could also stop the sadness that drowning him from within. only then could he grieve.

"how could I ever forget you 'toru?" your pleads were left unanswered. the love of your life leaving you there in the room where your love once blossomed. the same day he had came back, he left you all alone once again.

ever since the day he had ended your relationship, gojo satoru slowly begun distancing himself from the world. specifically a world full of truth and love. building up a facade of fun to cover this darkness that was slowly engulfing him. for he will continue to show a face of happiness for the sake of others.

because youth cannot be taken away from young people like how 3 years of his own youth was slowly taken away.

just like how nearly 10 years of youthful teenage love was quickly taken away from you.

@svtcrus || 07.30.2023

©️ all rights reserved. do not copy / plagiarize or use my work.

[scrapsovereign]

Something I haven’t talked about a lot online or IRL is how Astarion has fixed a problem I have thrown thousands of dollars at.

The problem: recurring, realistic, consecutive nightmares about my abuser that started 12 years after we broke up, and went on for EIGHT YEARS.

They started in November 2016 when I had resumed dating (after 3 years of swearing relationships off), and finally stopped in March of 2024…when I started writing Long Way Down.

I had been to therapy (tried everything with an initial), saw an actual real-life curandero, went to the sleep medicine doctor/got a CPAP, and even worked with an Arabic folk magic practitioner to get rid of them. My somatic therapist I’ve been working with since December last year encouraged me to write when I told them I wanted to give it a try and you know what?

Lo and behold, it worked. All I needed was free word processor and starting to write a story that wasn’t poorly written crackfic.

Sometimes I meet other people from my past in my deamspace. Like just now, I woke up from a nap where I had a conversation with my high school ex (not my abuser) where we caught up/ I set some boundaries with him, I told him I married last month, and he gave me shit for writing explicit vampire smut. I haven’t talked to him since 2017, and I cut him off during the pandemic for some really bad takes on Covid (can you say far left to alt right pipeline?)

Honestly, that’s okay. Most of the time my dreamspace is clear now, so when things like this pop up I don’t wake up on tilt. And it’s all thanks to the pixel man that been rotting my brain for the better part of a year.

NOW ALL THAT BEING SAID: therapy and medicine should be a first line treatment for anything mental health related- it just so happened this issue was fixed by very indulgent self care!

SO, even if it’s mediocre or not very good or it’s cringe I will continue to create. Because it works.

[boa-h]

【Geto Suguru】 I Used to Love Him

I haven’t had a dream about my past for a long time.

In my dream, the sky was as blue as always, and everyone was happy. I dreamed about my high school years with my best friends and lover. We were walking back to our dormitories after school while joking around, I think it was an afternoon during our first year. I remember walking past the track field, and Satoru challenged Suguru to a race, Shoko and I watched from afar. I forgot who won, but summer was hot, Gojo Satoru was sticky when he came to hug us, Shoko and I shoved him away.

In my dream, I saw the day Geto Suguru asked me out. It was winter where days were shorter. I walked out of the dessert shop I used to go to, and I bumped into him. He said he wanted to take me somewhere, so I went with him. We ended up on the seashore, the wind was blowing extra hard, both of our noses and cheeks were red due to the cold. I could barely hear him.

“I like you! Please go out with me!” He says.

It was a very simple sentence, there was no mention of the past nor promises of the future, but I’m sure I still said yes. Because when his chapped lips touched mine, I felt happiness.

The summer of 2006 was a mess, and so was the summer of 2007. Curses crawled on earth like maggots and the only reason I didn’t kill myself was because I was still too in love with Geto Suguru. He said he would take me to Paris after graduation, we would go to the Eiffel Tower, we would go café hopping, and then we would kiss on the streets of Montmartre. But he couldn’t make it to graduation. He didn’t take me with him.

Geto Suguru met every one of his past friends and acquaintances after his defection, including Shoko and Satoru and even Nanami.

But he never once came to see me.

In my dream, everyone was happy. We went on picnics during sakura season, we went to the beach during summer, we went pumpkin carving on Halloween and we had sleepovers during Christmas.

In my dream, Geto Suguru quit being a Jujutsu Sorcerer along with me after we graduated from Jujutsu Tech, and he took me to Paris like he promised, and we went boating in Bois de Boulogne and we kissed under the sunset.

I opened my eyes. I haven’t had a dream about my past for a long time.

I checked my phone, it was 04:28 AM, December 24th, 2017. It was a little chilly in my room, I must’ve forgotten to turn on the heater. I sat up from my bed and yawned, then I found my window opened. The sun has yet started to rise, my eyes met the purple gaze I haven’t seen in years, and I stared at him.

I imagined a lot of ways of our reunion, I thought I might see him on the streets, or at the beach, or inside a village that he just finished rampaging in. I thought that I might cry, or go hug him, or shout at him and demand an explanation. But I didn’t.

Geto Suguru sat on my windowsill, he didn’t have any cursed spirits with him, nor did he plan on summoning any. He just stared at me like how I stared at him.

I didn’t cry.

I didn’t go hug him.

I didn’t shout and demand an explanation.

I just looked at him. His hair got longer than the last time I saw him, his eye bags became more noticeable, his eyes contained some emotions that I couldn’t read anymore.

I tried to figure out what he might be feeling right now. Is he sad? Or happy? Did he regret killing all those people? Or maybe did he regret not bringing me along with him on his journey?

“Yo! Long time no see.” My thoughts were cut off by his energetic greeting.

Ah. Right. It’s all alright.

Everything is fine.

Because I still love him.

And that was the last time I ever saw Geto Suguru.

[thehopefuljournalist]

According to a new survey, lawmakers are playing an increasingly important role in holding corporations and governments accountable for failures to tackle the climate crisis.

The research was done by Columbia Law School, and was commissioned by the United Nations Environment Program (UNEP). It revealed that the number of climate-related court cases has more than doubled since 2017 and is steadily rising around the world.

Their report confirms a trend highlighted in the World Economic Forum’s Global Risks Report 2023, which claimed that individuals and environmental organizations were, more and more, turning to the law, as it became clear that the pace of transition to net-zero emissions was too slow.

“Climate litigation is increasing and concerns about emissions under-reporting and greenwashing have triggered calls for new regulatory oversight for the transition to net zero,” the Forum report said.

The UNEP report catalogues a number of high-profile court cases which have succeeded in enforcing climate action. In 2017, when climate case numbers were last counted, 884 legal actions had been brought. Today the total stands at 2,180.

The majority of climate cases to this date (1,522) have been brought in the US, followed by Australia, the UK, and the EU. The report notes that the number of legal actions in developing countries is growing, now at 17% of the total.

Climate litigation is also giving a voice to vulnerable groups who are being hard hit by climate change. The report says that, globally, 34 cases have been brought by children and young people, including two by girls aged seven and nine in Pakistan and India.

Here are five of the climate breakthroughs achieved by legal action so far.

1. Torres Strait Islanders Vs Australia

In September 2022, indigenous people living on islands in the Torres Strait between northern Queensland and Papua New Guinea won a landmark ruling that their human rights were being violated by the failure of the Australian government to take effective climate action.

The UN Human Rights Committee ruling established the principle that a country could be in breach of international human rights law over climate inaction. They ruled that Australia's poor climate record was a violation of the islanders’ right to family life and culture.

2. The Paris Agreement is a human rights treaty

In July 2022, Brazil's supreme court ruled that the Paris climate agreement is legally a human rights treaty which, it said, meant that it automatically overruled any domestic laws which conflicted with the country’s climate obligations.

The ruling ordered the government to reopen its national climate mitigation fund, which had been established under the Paris Agreement.

3. Climate inaction is a breach of human rights

Upholding an earlier court ruling that greenhouse emissions must be cut by 25% by 2020, the Netherlands Supreme Court ruled that failure to curb emissions was a breach of the European Convention on Human Rights.

The December 2019 ruling stated that, although it was up to politicians to decide how to make the emission cuts, failure to do so would be a breach of Articles 2 and 8 of the Convention which affirm the right to life and respect for private and family life.

4. Companies are bound by the Paris accord

Corporations, and not just governments, must abide by the emissions reductions agreed in the Paris climate treaty. This principle was established by a 2021 ruling in the Netherlands brought by environmentalists against energy group Royal Dutch Shell.

The court ordered Shell to cut its CO2 emissions by 45% by 2030 bringing them in line with Paris climate targets. The judge was reported as saying there was "worldwide agreement" that a 45% reduction was needed, adding: "This applies to the entire world, so also to Shell”.

5. Courts overturn state climate plans

Up until now, three European governments have been defeated in the courts over their climate plans.

In March 2021, Germany’s highest court struck down a climate law requiring 55% emissions by 2030 cuts, ruling it did not do enough to protect citizens’ rights to life and health. The same year, the French government was ordered to take “immediate and concrete action” to comply with its climate commitments. And in 2022, the UK’s climate strategy was ruled unlawful for failing to spell out how emissions cuts would be made.

[kdjojo]

I rewrote what I would've wrote for Suguru's death scene in Jjk0!

Warnings!

Romance, some kissing, angst, and spoilers! It isn't that traumatizing for romance for angst.. KINDA-

It was 2017, December 24, the day when Suguru Geto declared war in front of Jujutsu High (or tech idk). He was just beaten by Yuta Okkotsu and Rika Orimoto. Suguru was leaning against the wall for support as he was tightly gripping on his shoulder, which was dripping with blood. His arm was cut off by Yuta, as his other arm was still there. Suguru slowly drops to the floor, looking up at Satoru. A weak smile slowly appears on his lips.

"You're late as usual.. Satoru.." Suguru says in a hoarse but soft voice.

"I'm not the type to get to places early. But you're an exception." Satoru speaks softly

"Is that so?.." Suguru chuckled before speaking again. "I'm glad.."

Satoru noticed the trail of blood on the wall because of Suguru's missing limb. Satoru looked down at his one and only. Suguru was and still is Satoru Gojo's one and only from his perspective. He gulped quietly. Satoru managed to say something he dreaded saying to his own best friend.

"Take this Satoru.." Suguru throws Satoru Yuta's student card to him.

Satoru looks at the student with Yuta's face imprinted on a small corner.

"Was the elementary school your doing too?" Satoru asked.

"Yup." Suguru answered his question

"Tricky bastard.." Satoru muttered.

They both pause.

"Any last words, Suguru?" Satoru asked

Suguru's lips slowly part before speaking. "Whatever anyone tells you... I still hate those damn filthy monkeys." He states, "But..." He pauses. "I never hated or held anger to those in Jujutsu High..." Suguru breaks eye contact with Satoru. He looks back up at Satoru.

"Curse me till the very end... Satoru Gojo!.."

Satoru's ocean blue eyes widen at his words. He knew exactly what he meant.

"Love is the most twisted curse..." Those exact words that Satoru said were in his mind. His lips trembled. Something overwhelming was telling Satoru to do something or he would regret it for the rest of his life. Satoru slowly crouches down to Suguru's height when he was sitting down. He softly grabs his chin and leans his face forward to Suguru's. He gives Suguru a quick passionate but soft kiss on the lips. That action took Suguru by surprise but he didn't resist. They both pull away.

"Bastard.." Suguru chuckles softly.

"I have something to tell you." Satoru said.

"Hm?.." Suguru tilts his head to the side.

Satoru spoke about what he needed to say to Suguru. His eyes widen in surprise but slowly return back to normal.

"Heh..." Suguru laughed softly with a red hue on his cheeks. He tilted his head to the side still amused.

Satoru slowly stands up and looks down at Suguru. His bright ocean-blue eyes glistened in the reflection of the setting orange sun. His thumb held down his middle finger while the other fingers were free. He was about to kill Suguru Geto.

"I-Im... doing this for the better Suguru... I don't want you to be captured by those old geezers!" Satoru yells. He was talking about the Higher-ups taking Suguru.

"I understand. Satoru.." Suguru said with a smile on his lips.

Satoru Gojo finally killed his one and only... Suguru Geto..

Satoru looks at Suguru's lifeless body. A couple of tears run down his cheeks. He sits beside Suguru's body and wraps his arms around him. He buried his face into the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry.." Satoru kept on repeating those words. He tightly kept Suguru's body to keep his warmth to himself. Tears roll down Suguru's neck. He kept on snuggling with his body for a while until Shoko walked up to the two of the men.

"Satoru." Shoko spoke. She took a drag from her cigarette

"We need to dispose of the body.." She stated

"Shoko.." Satou finally spoke. "Can you leave me alone for a couple of minutes?.."

Shoko stayed quiet and waited for Satoru.

A couple of days later.

Both Satoru and Yuta were walking through snowy paths in Jujutsu High.

"Here." Satoru hands the student card to Yuta

"Eh? You found my student card??" Yuta questioned with a surprised look on his face.

"Nah. Not me." He paused "My best friend did. My one and only really." Satoru chuckled to himself.

Satoru looked up at the cloudy skies thinking about his and Suguru's youth when they were younger thinking about how they could've been.

[officiallordvetinari]

Another Wikipedia featured article poll, but it's hand-curated this time. Links and summaries below the cut.

A History of British Fishes is a natural history book by William Yarrell, serialised in nineteen parts from 1835, and then published bound in two volumes in 1836. It is a handbook or field guide systematically describing every type of fish found in the British Isles, with an article for each species.

The Battle of Lake Trasimene was fought when a Carthaginian force under Hannibal ambushed a Roman army commanded by Gaius Flaminius on 21 June 217 BC, during the Second Punic War. The battle took place on the north shore of Lake Trasimene, to the south of Cortona, and resulted in a heavy defeat for the Romans.

Steller's sea cow (Hydrodamalis gigas) is an extinct sirenian described by Georg Wilhelm Steller in 1741. At that time, it was found only around the Commander Islands in the Bering Sea between Alaska and Russia; its range extended across the North Pacific during the Pleistocene epoch, and likely contracted to such an extreme degree due to the glacial cycle.

The Baker Street robbery was the burglary of safety deposit boxes at the Baker Street branch of Lloyds Bank in London, on the night of 11 September 1971. A gang tunnelled 40 feet (12 m) from a rented shop two doors away to come up through the floor of the vault.

On the morning of 6 December 1917, the French cargo ship SS Mont-Blanc collided with the Norwegian vessel SS Imo in the waters of Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. The Mont-Blanc, laden with high explosives, caught fire and exploded, devastating the Richmond district of Halifax.

The nature fakers controversy was an early 20th-century American literary debate highlighting the conflict between science and sentiment in popular nature writing. The debate involved important American literary, environmental and political figures.

The Spaghetti House siege took place between 28 September and 3 October 1975. An attempted robbery of the Spaghetti House restaurant in Knightsbridge, London, went wrong and the police were quickly on the scene.

Weird Tales is an American fantasy and horror fiction pulp magazine founded by J. C. Henneberger and J. M. Lansinger in late 1922. The first issue, dated March 1923, appeared on newsstands February 18.

In July 2017, the municipalities of Mahwah, Upper Saddle River, and Montvale in Bergen County, New Jersey, in the United States, opposed extension of an eruv within their borders. An eruv is a land area surrounded by a boundary of religious significance, often marked by small plastic pipes (called lechis) attached to utility poles.

The Makassar kingdom of Gowa emerged around 1300 CE as one of many agrarian chiefdoms in the Indonesian peninsula of South Sulawesi. From the sixteenth century onward, Gowa and its coastal ally Talloq became the first powers to dominate most of the peninsula, following wide-ranging administrative and military reforms, including the creation of the first bureaucracy in South Sulawesi.

[likeadevils]

which albums do you think took the shortest amount of time to put together? i think that evermore was very quick (only two or three months?), am i right in thinking that lover and folklore were pretty quick too?

evermore was super quick! there were about five songs written from october-december, but about 12 songs were written in about a month, between mid august and mid september. which is just crazy. like that’s more songs than the standard edition of debut like that’s insane

the bulk of folklore was written in two months, between may and june, though the jack songs were mostly written between march and april, with some pre pandemic songs (my tears in dec 2019 and trying in jan/feb 2020)

midnights was a bit more spread out— high infidelity and would’ve could’ve should’ve were written in march 2021, i believe bigger than the whole sky and snow on the beach were in early 2022– but still the bulk of it came together in november/december 2021, making it a year in total but mostly done in two months.

rep took almost exactly a year— she starts writing it in september 2016 and finishes in september 2017. the bulk of the album was likely finished by july 2017 though, so it goes was just a super last minute addition.

lover was recorded in about four months— the bulk of the album was between november 2018 and february 2019. there are some exceptions, like death by a thousand cuts in late april and likely london boy in early june, and maybe a few jack songs throughout 2018, but we don’t know for sure which. she was also probably stockpiling songs a bit before jumping into the studio, but we don’t know for sure.

1989 was another stockpiling album— she did this love in 2012, a couple songs jan 2013, and then that aforementioned stockpiling period while she’s on tour, and then a big rush in oct/nov 2013, and then another rush in jan/feb 2014. it sounds like now that we don’t talk came fairly late in the process though, possibly as late as fall 2014, which would make it a two year long writing period, but as far as the original album goes, about a year and a half.

red was also about a year and a half— we have all too well being finalized in march 2011 (after being started in dec 2010), and then 22 and i knew you were trouble in june 2012. there are probably some outliers— stay stay stay might’ve been as early as summer 2010, some stuff on the vault might’ve gone up until september 2012– but that’s at most about two years of consistent writing and recording.

if we’re counting sparks fly (halloween 2006) then it took four years to write speak now, but excluding sparks fly georg the earliest song we know for sure was if this was a movie in april 2009, and then it ended with the story of us in june 2010, which is a little over a year. she was likely writing songs for speak now earlier in 2009 though, making it her standard year and a half, but we just don’t know for sure. the recording process was also spread out throughout both years— the first session for the album was in march 2009, and the orchestra sections were the last thing recorded, in july 2010.

fearless had two big recording sessions, in december 2007 and march 2008, so recording wise the album came together super quickly. that being said, if we just take the first and last songs written for the album, fearless has a pretty big stretch— she had stuff from the vault from like 2005, and then come in with the rain in september 2006, and white horse in december 2006. and then the last song is similarly up for interpretation, with forever and always in late september 2008, and mr perfectly fine in march 2009. so even though it came together very quickly once she got in the studio, counting the vault it was four years to write it, making it one of the longest timeframes, but standard edition is still a fairly long two years.

and then debut! i’m a bit more hazy on debut’s timeline, but a perfectly good heart was written sometime in 2003, and should’ve said no was the last thing written and recorded, on august 10, 2006, making it about three years.

so it’s pretty much an exercise in counting— the earlier and album came in her career, the longer it took her to make it, until we get to post pandemic where she’s busting out almost complete albums in two month periods (ts11 looks like it’s bucking that trend though, so let’s see!!)

[josephtrohman]

I don't know who else to express my conern to, but... it seems to me that Joe hasn't been wearing his wedding ring lately? I first noticed it in the China pics and thought maybe he just forgot it at home or something, but I did a quick look through 2ourdust pics and it seems to be missing then, too??

i was going to answer this when i saw it in my inbox yesterday but tbh i genuinely got too high last night to type coherently LMFAOOOO. BUT this is the RIGHT PLACE to express this concern because i actually am a slightly insane person who pays like TOO MUCH attention to wedding rings due to the fact that they make me Feel Ways, so i actually have a lot to say about this!!! i am the co-president of the joe trohman hands and ring committee after all (shoutout ash)…however, tldr: i would say that him not wearing his ring is not a bad sign to ME bc of the evidence on this matter. and i’m putting it under a cut cuz i kind of typed a lot here 😭

joe didnt wear his wedding ring almost at all on tourdust or eurodust either (there’s the joe coffee run picture that he’s wearing it, but i believe that was taken in la, and he lives in la, so he could have just dropped it off at home or whatever lol), but it actually goes much further back than that! iirc joe started first inconsistently wearing his wedding ring in 2017 or so, and he and his wife had a baby the next year, so it is not necessarily the sign of a split or anything that he is not wearing it :-)

there could be many many reasons that he doesn’t wear it while touring/playing. it may be the case that he doesn’t like to travel with it for fear of losing it, especially considering his ring was upgraded recently ish it seems. see the pics below, left picture=2019 or so i believe, right picture=early 2023 from the hmlag shoot. as you can see the new ring has a different design, there’s some carving or maybe there’s even like diamonds in the band idk it’s hard to see fully, but it really could be the case that it’s a much more expensive ring, thus not wanting to travel with it because of the cost to replace if he lost it

there are also other personal reasons he may choose to not wear it: it could be for fluctuating finger sizes due to medical reasons or weight changes (i am not implying it looks like he gained or lost weight lol it doesn’t seem that way, but even small weight changes that are invisible to us can impact your finger size, or a high-sodium diet can contribute the fingers swelling more, so on and so forth), it could be the case that it’s become uncomfortable to play in (as an example, there’s that one video from 2013 or so of an acoustic performance where patrick removes his wedding band because of the slide sound it’s making on the neck of the guitar, so it’s not inconceivable that a wedding ring could get in the way/be uncomfortable for playing in), or SOOO many different reasons that he stopped wearing it that we may not know about (and that’s ok!!)

during their last show (or maybe one of their last shows? i can’t remember for sure but def a december 2023 show) he brought out this lil number which appears to be a silicone ring. and he only used this for one show and hasn’t brought it back since, but it just may not have been an alternative that worked for him. i know for example my uncle had a bad allergic reaction on his hands when he tried to switch to a silicone wedding band, so maybe something similar could have happened to joe with this silicone band, or just not liking the feel of it, etc

another piece of evidence that i think should soothe you as well, he was wearing his real ring during his christmas video, even if he wasn’t wearing his ring almost at all during 2023 tour :)

as well, i’m not going to include the pics (but you can find it easily on meredith’s reel lol), but marie was at andy and meredith’s wedding too, just another lil piece of evidence that im not concerned about the state of their relationship :)

lastly, its important to know that he has marie’s initials tattooed on the inner part of his ring finger (the m is covered up by his wedding band in these pics but i can’t find others where it’s more visible lol), so even when he’s not wearing his wedding ring, it’s like she’s always with him :-) and i bet that’s part of the reason that he doesn’t seem overly concerned with finding an alternative band, because functionally the tattoo still shows his commitment to her <33

aside from all of this even, im not worried about their relationship; joe has been head over heels for her from the moment they met, so i think they will be together forever and ever 💖 (and well god forbid if they do ever split i may have to cermet soup of side bc i love them so much…yes im a crazy insane joegirl yes i like rpf BUT ALSO yes i love marie and their relationship in general WE EXIST. do they need a third or perhaps another dog i can bark etc etc)

[taylor-on-your-dash]

could you list the very first and the very last song which taylor has written for each album? just curious to see any changes in her songwriting, especially of the earlier albums. i got the ones for red and fearless cause i read your timelines (awesome work btw) but im missing the ones for the other albums

THAT'S SUCH AN INTERESTING QUESTION ANON, THANK YOU

DEBUT

First song:

A Perfectly Good Heart - Autumn 2003

Last song:

Should've Said No - August 10, 2006

FEARLESS

First song:

White Horse - December 2006 (if we count the main album)

Come In With The Rain - September 2006 (if we count Fearless Platinum)

That's When/You All Over Me - early 2005 (if we count Fearless TV) The 2005 Vault songs are the most vague but I think that the other two, Don't You and We Were Happy, are for Drew, so written after he left for college in September 2005.

Last song:

Forever & Always - September 22, 2008 (if we count the main album)

Mr. Perfectly Fine - March/May 2009 (if we count Fearless TV)

SPEAK NOW

First song:

Sparks Fly - November 2, 2006

Sparks Fly was technically edited in 2010, so if you think that it shouldn't count, your next bet might be:

If This Was A Movie - April 2009

Last song:

The Story Of Us - June 16, 2010

RED

First song:

Stay Stay Stay - either early 2010 or late 2010

Last song:

I Knew You Were Trouble - June 2, 2012

Technically Trouble began in January 2012, but it was finished on June 2nd. So if you think that it shouldn't count, the next song is:

22 - June 1, 2012

1989

First song:

This Love - October 17, 2012

Last song:

Style - February 19, 2014

REPUTATION

First song:

Gorgeous - September 2 to 19, 2016

Last song:

So It Goes... - September 2017. The song was a last-minute addition to the album and it messed up the tracklist on the reputation magazines. EDIT TO ADD AN EXPLANATION HERE

LOVER

First song:

Daylight - 2017/2018

Last song:

Death By A Thousand Cuts - April 2019

(I'm actually not 100% sure about the Lover timeline and I haven't seen anyone talking about it but Taylor said that Daylight was the first title of the album but she changed it after she wrote Lover, and Lover is also a pretty early song (Taylor posted a quote from the song on Instagram in July 2018) so Daylight could've potentially been written in early 2018 or late 2017)

FOLKLORE

First song:

my tears ricochet - Late 2019

Last song:

the 1/hoax - Late May 2020

EVERMORE

First song:

dorothea - summer 2020, around July or August

Last song:

right where you left me/happiness - November 2020, both written just before the mastering process

MIDNIGHTS

First song:

High Infidelity/Would've Could've Should've - March 2021

Last song:

You're Losing Me - maybe written after Midnights dropped?

I haven't researched Midnights in depth yet (but I actually don't think there's much to research, we can just speculate)

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Weekend derby, once more.

THE WILD ROBOT... Still at #2, after the other clown took a little dip, finally crosses $100m domestically, thanks to a $10m hold, dropping only 27%. The legs are extending on this one, and it still has plenty of time to go. Could make a play for $150m, even, not too far below 2017's THE BOSS BABY... The last non-sequel DreamWorks movie to cross $100m, let alone $150m.

I think it also once again disproves this widespread claim that distributor Universal's early VOD releases, which you still have to pay for to watch at home, really cut into these things. PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH made its debut on VOD barely a month after it hit theaters, and the movie went on to score the biggest multiplier - domestically - for an animated movie in 40 years. (Previous record-holder was BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.) MARIO also did excellently after its early VOD release. If people are digging it, they'll keep coming back. PUSS IN BOOTS 2 was still packing auditoriums at my cinema job the week before MARIO opened... For context, PIB2 opened in December 2022... MARIO in April 2023...

So yeah, there's a nice road ahead for Roz and pals. It now sits at $101m domestically, and just shy of $200m worldwide against a $78m budget. Made it past the 2 1/2x threshold. Sequel release date imminent. More than makes up for how last year's DreamWorks non-sequel did.

PIECE BY PIECE only fell 46%, not too bad. It's a fairly smaller release anyways, playing in less than 2,000 multiplexes nationwide. $7m domestic, no worldwide numbers from Mojo yet. Only cost $16m, so, it's neat that the movie even exists to begin with. A LEGO biopic. Like, that's something you don't always see.

TRANSFORMERS ONE, despite losing another 500+ locations, still struts some late legs and refuses to get knocked out entirely. 47% drop, now at $56m domestically and about $119m worldwide. Only has one market left to open in, and that's France. (Vive les Transformateurs?) Still below double the $75m budget, but I'll wait and hear the verdict from on high given that - again - costs on this one were split and Paramount (if we are to believe the trades) weren't too worried about how this would do in the long run. Merch sales may also play a part here. Seems like a weird D&D: HONOR AMONG THIEVES situation here (another really solid movie that I enjoyed and wished had made more money, undone by different factors), box office may or may not decide if a sequel happens. Again, we'll see.

NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS re-release scores another million this weekend, and a 49% drop. The lifetime domestic gross of the 1993 film, altogether, is $92m so far.

All of those are still in the Top 10, four animated movies. 5 last weekend, the fifth being the frontloaded new MY HERO ACADEMIA. That fell 78%, it now sits at $4.6m here, $30m everywhere.

Like last weekend, it was cool to see all these different movies co-existing.

[possum-dyke]

I'd love to share with you all my undergrad honors thesis! Warning, it's a long read but well worth it, especially if you're into harm reduction

Why do Chronic Pain Patients Use Opioids Outside of the Realm of Prescription?

December 21, 2022

Nadiya 

With the guidance of mentors David Frank, PhD and Noa Krawczyk, PhD

Macaulay Honors College Public Health Honors Project

AbstractThis exploratory review aims to summarize the reasons why chronic pain patients have been using opioids not as prescribed. Review and analysis of Reddit posts revealed people’s reasons for not using drugs as prescribed, and yielded meaningful anecdotes about their stories. Results showed four overall themes, with one theme being patients not getting enough supply, either through underprescription, no prescription, or getting cut off prescriptions; one theme being issues with withdrawal, often linked to lack of information or various reasons for patients to DIY the process; one theme being blocked communication between doctors and patients, specifically focusing on stigma in the medical community against drug users; and the last theme focusing on the negative effect of national, state, and practice-based prescription guidelines. These can be summarized by one overarching theme of disconnect between patients and doctors. Recommendations can be made to improve guidelines and to train doctors better.

Background/Introduction/LiteratureThe use of opium as an analgesic can be traced back to the times of ancient Sumer, with references to it written on a clay tablet of medical preparations (Norn et al., 2005). Since then, opium and increasingly stronger opioids, including synthetic opioids, have been used in a widespread manner, primarily for pain management and for recreational use, as opioid euphoric properties hold similar levels of power as analgesic properties (Norn et al., 2005). Although there had been previous opioid “epidemics” such as the high level of Opioid Use Disorder following the Civil War, the most currently thought of opioid “epidemic” is the one that occurred in the late 1990s and early 2000s, whose dangerous aftereffects we are seeing today with the advent of fentanyl (Jones et al., 2018). A perfect storm of the medical institution starting to briefly acknowledge the importance of pain and the invention and widespread marketing of preparations like OxyContin, as well as the willingness of many physicians to prescribe of opioids, caused an increase in the rates of opioid use, unfortunately leading to dependence and overdose in some cases (Jones et al., 2018). These negative consequences caused a shift in the pendulum in the complete other direction, with more crackdown on prescribing doctors, crackdown on users, and low rates of prescription of opioids (Marchetti et al., 2020). By now, the CDC has put out federal guidelines about opioid prescription for doctors (2016 guidelines dealt with how much opioids can be prescribed and what risk factors can be considered in prescription) (Bohnert et al., 2018). Furthermore, states have set up their own guidelines to try to curb causing dependence (Soelberg et al., 2017). Also, private healthcare companies often have blanket rules or limits that either they won’t prescribe opioids or no more than a limited dose of opioids (Webster & Grabois, 2015). In theory this was to cut down on pill mills, where anyone could claim any injury for a prescription they could get multiple refills of (Kennedy-Hendricks et al., 2016).When reading this paper, it is important to note the different kinds of opioids mentioned.OxyContin, Norco, Lortab, and tramadol are all available by prescription but also on the street; in the US, heroin is only available on the street. Methadone and suboxone are forms of medication-assisted treatment (MAT); suboxone, which was mentioned more often in this research, is a partial opioid agonist which also often includes naloxone, an antagonist, in its preparation to block users from getting high on other opioids (Velander, 2018). Although mostly obtained via prescription, suboxone can be acquired on the street (Hswen et al., 2020). Kratom is a plant with opioid characteristics that while still often used for pain or euphoria, is most frequently associated with assisting with withdrawal symptoms or tapering off stronger opioids (Eastlack et al., 2020). It is not legal in all states or countries, but where it is legal, it is typically sold in headshops or online; it is never prescribed (Prozialeck et al., 2020).Another important concept that received several mentions in patient posts was withdrawal, which requires explanation. After some level of dependence, an opioid user will start developing withdrawal symptoms when they stop using (Kosten & Baxter, 2019). These will worsen over the duration of use (Kosten & Baxter, 2019). Symptoms include an agitated/anxious mental state, insomnia, sweats, chills, flu-like symptoms, cramps, diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting (Kosten & Baxter, 2019).

MethodologyIn this exploratory review and analysis, Reddit posts were analyzed to answer the question of why current chronic pain patients use opioids in an illicit and/or non-prescribed way to manage pain. The social media forum Reddit, through its subreddit r/opiates, was used to sort through posts that might be of relevance. The search term used was “chronic pain.” Inclusion criteria used when considering posts for analysis incorporated posts consisting of at least 5 words in the body, and if there was repeat posting, only first posting in order of the algorithm was counted. Non-prescribed use had to be present or heavily implied in the content of the post. The project defined non-prescribed use as use beyond the scope of a prescription, encompassing everything from using drugs bought on the black market to doubling the dose of a prescription or using non-prescribed supplements. At this point, 50 posts that matched criteria were collected.The posts were coded on Google Sheets using the following list of categories, which were picked after thematic analysis of the topic.Can’t obtain a prescriptionAlready dependent from previous prescriptions or non-prescribed useWant more after prescription but can't getPrescription too lowRan out of prescription earlyRaised toleranceOff label use of prescriptionAre using for recreational reasonsDon’t want to go to a doctorCan't afford a doctor/doctor doesn't take insuranceReceived shared pills from othersWere already using pre-pain,Want the high from a stronger drugAvoidance of dopesickness/withdrawal symptomsUse vs suicideNo illicit use mentioned (still not using as prescribed)On medication-assisted treatmentUse of kratom,Different route of administrationRelief from dopesickness/withdrawal symptomsFear/avoidance of painUsing from non-prescribed supply on top of prescriptionUse of non-opiate drugs mentioned,Doctor lowered/took off scriptNew or worsening chronic pain after withdrawal/abstinence (post-acute withdrawal syndrome)Use of heroin.Each category was given a code and these codes were marked next to posts that pertained to them. Then important quotes were gathered and several themes were identified, some stemming from criteria, and some from analysis.Limitations include the fact that posters could use other terms than “chronic pain” to describe their pain, and the fact that posts were shown in the order of Reddit’s proprietary algorithm. Another limitation is the lack of inclusion of “should I” posts, or posters who haven't yet made the jump but are asking about using their prescriptions in a different way or trying new substances. Another limitation involves the fact that this study does not take into account the people who would not be using Reddit to talk about their experiences, including, notably, many elderly individuals who may be a part of the target demographic.

Results

Quantitative AnalysisOut of 50 data points, here’s how many were counted positive for each category:Category Count

Can’t obtain a prescription  13

Prescription too low  11

Use of heroin  10

Are using for recreational reasons  9

No illicit use mentioned (still not using as prescribed)  9

Using from non-prescribed supply on top of prescription  8

Different route of administration  7

Want more after prescription but can't get  7

Off label use of prescription  6

Use of kratom  6

Use of non-opiate drugs mentioned  5

Raised tolerance  5

On medication-assisted treatment  5

Relief from dopesickness/withdrawal symptoms  5

Ran out of prescription early  4

Fear/avoidance of pain  4

New or worsening chronic pain after withdrawal/abstinence (post-acute withdrawal syndrome)  4

Use vs suicide  3

Doctor lowered/took off script  3

Don’t want to go to a doctor  2

Received shared pills from others  2

Were already using pre-pain  2

Avoidance of dopesickness/withdrawal symptoms  2

Can't afford a doctor/doctor doesn't take insurance  1

Want the high from a stronger drug  1

Already dependent from previous prescriptions or nonprescribed use  0

Qualitative AnalysisAnalysis of the Reddit posts revealed four umbrella themes:1. Patients aren’t getting enough medication to manage pain.2. Patients are dealing with issues related to opioid withdrawal/dependence/tolerance.3. Patients are not consulting with their doctors about their opioid use.4. Guidelines for prescription of opioids are not serving patients well.

Umbrella Theme 1: Patients aren’t getting enough medication to manage pain.Multiple Reddit users found that although they were getting prescriptions, the prescriptions were insufficient to their levels of pain. Some patients feel their doctors aren’t understanding their pain, and are acting out of a fear of overprescription.One poster described their frustration at not being prescribed opioids.“and what got me so pissed off, was when I talked to one of the docs he was saying “we really don’t want to use any narcotics as they’re dangerous and we want to keep you safe, if you have excruciating pain, you can have a small dose of norco once a day.” ”Self-management of pain medication is a strategy many use to allow for their low prescriptions. Here, one patient described using dietary changes to make their dose have a higher effect, in this case using grapefruit juice to potentiate the effects of opioids. (Nieminen et al, 2020)“It's gotten so bad that I've begun to starve myself most of the day and drinking mostly grapefruit juice to have my limited dose hit as hard as possible.” Others, like the next two posters, stretch their limited prescription, finding themselves in a conflict to take multiple doses to alleviate pain versus risking having nothing left to deal with a potential flare-up.“Try to keep it in the 15 - 30mg range per day so I don't max out my script in one week.”“I hate that so far today, I've taken 75mgs of oxy [Oxycontin], yet my back is still screaming at me. I hate that I only have one 15mg pill left, and I'm trying so hard not to take it just yet.”Many users found themselves unable to take prescriptions at all: “cant get doctors to help me for shit have to self medicate.”In some of these cases it is clear that the patients have already sought extensive care but still can’t get a prescription.“There's so much scaremongering about doctors overperscribing (sic) opiates, but I'm out here with a super fucked up back (dont want to get into specifics but its gnarly) and the xrays and MRIS to prove it and i still can't find a doctor to prescribe me anything stronger than naproxen.”“I've had a torn miniscus (sic) tendon for the past 7-8 years and none of the doctors I've been to will do anything about it. Doctors refuse to send me to pain management, their excuse is that I don't need it. I've taken it upon myself to medicate with the only pills that seem to work for it. (Oxy, Lortab)” For at least one patient, only mild or highly improbable solutions have been given.“every single doctor I've been to just gives me shitty NSAIDs and tells me to exercise”In some cases, doctors are cutting patients off their medications. One patient has been told that there is no cure and is therefore scared of being cut off their meds.“I’ve been told this “is it” for me, as after 6 years of treatment/surgeries there’s nothing left to do but treat symptoms, and I’m terrified I’ll be cut off my meds this year, it’s terrifying…..”This patient’s story shows a direct link between being cut off and buying on the black market.“I was prescribed quite a bit of opioids but I was cut off because it was just a general doctor and I had to go to the streets which eventually led me to suboxone [an opioid partial agonist used for withdrawal]” 

Umbrella Theme 2: Patients have issues with withdrawal/dependence/tolerance and the way interactions with doctors about these topics have gone.One patient was worried that trying to taper off legally with suboxone would affect other prescriptions, and was crowdsourcing information instead of telling the doctor their fears.“I’ve bought subutex [same as suboxone] before and managed to get myself off it but I can’t get it this time. Would a doctor allow you to be prescribed subs  while your already on other opioids prescribed?”Another patient is trying to crowdsource answers to their problem; they started off using legal kratom, but it wasn’t enough for the pain.“Now i tried to just come off morphine and jump on to kratom but my habit is too big and the kratom wasn't holding me plus it wasn't really putting a dent in my pain. I'm so fkn lost, i really don't know what to do at this point this seems insurmountable and i've just been crying all day.”One person feels they made a mistake telling their doctor. There are steep costs associated with suboxone for them, and they consider heroin to be more pleasant and cheaper.“Doctors refuse to help me. Even with my medical history , I made a horrible mistake of going for help in my most desperate moments of withdrawal, tried to get on subs [suboxone, an opioid partial agonist used for withdrawal], But said fuck it when I realized they wanted $16 every single day to dispense me a sub [suboxone] strip 6 days a week with only 1 take home for sundays. My dope [heroin] habit I could maintain on for only a little more money and it felt way better so why the fck would I get on maintenance?”Two patients likely weren’t given enough information about withdrawal. Withdrawal is seen as a “junkie” thing, so doctors don’t want to give their patients the impression they’ll get it (or don’t know much about it themselves), and patients don’t think it will happen to them so they don’t research it. (Rieder, 2017)“Only today it dawned on me what an odd coincidence it is I feel sick when I don't take it but I'm fine when I do. I've been using it continuously for the past couple days and today I woke up feeling like complete shit.”“Now my tolerance is so high I haven’t been taking as directed and taking the max dose. I ran out almost 3 days ago now. I am so tired, my legs and my arms hurt if I don’t move them, have the shits [diarrhea], headache, and all over feeling terrible [typical opioid withdrawal symptoms]. I’m assuming this is withdrawal but I feel so fucking awful.”

Umbrella Theme 3: Patients are not consulting with doctors about pain and opioid use.Patients were often found to be deliberately withholding information from their doctors for various reasons:“Like I said I hid it from my doctors, so I never really got to find out exactly what that pain was”At least one patient was scared that doctors would think they were lying for a prescription.“I tried to hide it from everyone. I was scared that doctors would think I was phishing [committing fraud/lying] for pain pills, and/or that my family would doubt my sobriety because of my behavior.”Rehab facilities often don’t let patients take any psychoactive drugs, and this person was rightfully worried that if she entered rehab, her meds could be taken from her.“She says she can't go to treatment because they'll take her meds for her illness (she collects SSI for her disability) and they could fuck with that as well.”There are often lengthy processes associated with trying to get specialists that put people off.“I've been thinking of trying to get a referral by my regular doctor to the nearest chronic pain center, to see a specialist and psychiatrist for specific pain-related treatment. In this country the doc has to write up my medical history, explain the current condition in a referral letter, mail it to the pain specialist, and if he deems it legit he'll mail me a form to fill to evaluate my pain levels. Which I have to mail back to expect a call back about a first appointment. You can understand that this is so convoluted it doesn't even make me wanna do it.” Doctors are often wary if a patient asks for a specific opiate, thinking they are trying to commit fraud.“As of now I have been to two docs who pushed me aside giving me 800mg Tylenol, it didn't do shit but I remember I had gotten a script of trammadol (sic) for a root canal and it made everything painless and easy but as soon as I said that to the doctor he immediately wrote another 800mg Tylenol script without hesitation and sent me on my way.”Many patients were scared of being marked as addicts due to withdrawal symptoms, other prescriptions, or being honest about recreational drug use. “Doctors see the addict mark on my history and treat me like a piece of garbage.”One patient regrets honesty with their doctor, who won’t prescribe to a heavy drinker. Although alcohol and opioids are synergistic, this patient is still in a lot of pain. (Cushman, 1987)“I went to the doc my sister goes too (sic) and told him about my drinking habits and the pain, he told me he won't prescribe any opiates for "fear of additional addictions" occurring.”Here, the patient knows they are labeled dependent, so they are scared that the “addict mark” will not let them request extra of their prescription.“And when I go in for my next appointment, if I mention that the 10mg dose is preferable do you think I'll run into any trouble for suggesting that now that I have been labelled as dependent?”The patient feels they can’t be honest about illicit use without fear of being cut off from their meds.“If I go to my doctor and come clean that I’m using oxy’s {Oxycontin] and heroin will the (sic) blacklist me from the prescription I’m on?”This poster is worried that coming clean about their opioid usage will cause their psychiatrist to stop giving them benzodiazepines.“I have no intentions of telling my psychiatrist because knowing her, she'd most likely just take away my benzo [benzodiazepine] prescription away and think the problem is solved. I'm almost 100% if I tried telling anyone else I wouldn't get taken seriously either, just like with all my other both physical and mental health issues, and it's not that dangerous of a drug anyway. I don't want to make the situation even worse for myself, like it's always happened before when I mistakenly trusted people, despite it being their job to help me”This poster is worried that if suboxone is on their record, they will be blacklisted from future pain medication prescription and is wanting to try to self-medicate withdrawal with kratom instead.“I’m thinking about using kratom as a substitute for suboxone. I don’t want to take subs [suboxone] because 1. i don’t want my family to know 2. i don’t want that on my health record as i struggle with chronic pain and it would hinder some medical treatment for sure”In this case, a doctor’s beliefs about marijuana use are getting in the way of evidence-based care; the patient has essentially been cut off after admitting to marijuana use and exhibiting vague symptoms.“Now when it comes to my doctor. I feel like the stigma behind my marijuana use has greatly affected my care. He thinks I’m addicted to marijuana which is absolutely ridiculous. I’ve had panic attacks before in the hospital (I’ve dealt with anxiety far longer than I’ve been using marijuana) and he attributes them to “marijuana withdrawals” like wtf. And more recently he’s completely cut out any opiate use in my care. I’ve had multiple times where I have bad chest pain episodes and I need to go to the ER but the only thing they will give is toradol and Tylenol which does jack shit. This has forced me to start going to my local hospital ER whenever I have bad pain cause I know it can be treated there properly then I could be transferred to my normal hospital.”

Umbrella Theme 4: Guidelines for prescribing opioids aren’t serving patients.In this case, the patient is unsure but thinks state or healthcare company regulations are applying a rule that results in insufficient care.“Idk if doctors in California specifically at kaiser [Kaiser Permanente, a healthcare company] can even still prescribe monthly pain meds I don’t care about being high anymore I want this pain to end.”Here, a GP is prescribing an insufficient dose because of fear of crossing guidelines, which could impact their licensure.“My doctor (not pain management doc, normal GP) won't go over 50 MME [morphine milligram equivalents] a day because they're scared of the 2016 CDC Opioid guidelines bullshit.”Many practices have pain contracts, which require opioid-receiving patients to give their word to do certain things to keep getting their prescription (Payne et al., 2010). Here, a patient is scared that because they will have six less than needed if they didn’t use extra, at their next count they or their doctor will get penalized.“My doctor does pill counts now, the amount I’m supposed to be coming in with is 12 and if I’ll only be left with 6, am I gonna be fucked [low counts might look like abuse or dealing]? I’m not abusing them in any way, and I’m scared that I’ll look like I am and fuck up my prescription or get my doctors narcotic license taken away or something. I’ve only failed one drug screening when I wasn’t taking my medication because (TMI sorry) I hadn’t shit in a week.”

Discussion In analysis of these posts, the most common overarching theme was patients feeling disconnected from doctors, from not being able to convey their level of pain and having it met, to being prescribed medications they don’t understand, to not sharing issues with their doctors for fear of judgment or non-prescription.. All four themes — insufficient prescription, withdrawal issues, patients not consulting with doctors, and prescription guidelines — often come down to issues with the medical institution or individual doctors. However, this is such a widespread problem among individual doctors that change must be made on the systemic level, for instance, during education.Insufficient prescription stories in the data can be narrowed down to three categories: patients with prescriptions who experience more pain than their prescription can help, patients who cannot obtain a prescription for opioids, and patients who are cut off from their prescriptions. In all of these sub-categories, there is a common theme of frustration with doctors not meeting patient needs. There is also a theme in the already-prescribed sub-category of using other strategies to make a prescription have more power, some of which are risky. Using other substances to potentiate the drugs, especially benzodiazepines and alcohol, can lead to overdose, and doubling up on doses to then run out can lead to a cycle of withdrawal (Knopf, 2020). In the never-prescribed subcategory, it is becoming clear that many patients who are seeking extensive medical attention are not getting the medications they need. In the cut-off category, getting cut off or tapered down without permission can precipitate withdrawal. In all, this umbrella category shows a pattern of denial of a patient’s agency in their own pain management process, and doctors should find better ways to monitor people’s pain and not assume the least effective methods will do the trick.Multiple issues come up with withdrawal precipitated by running out of opioids and self-precipitated withdrawal due to the desire to taper off. For instance, it is hard to obtain suboxone and when people do, it can be quite expensive (Hswen, 2020). Kratom can also run quite expensive, and oftentimes does not treat withdrawal symptoms effectively (Eastlack et al., 2020). In a lot of cases, patients aren’t able to utilize detox programs because they would have to be free from opiates, but either doctors aren’t providing helpful ways to get patients off opioids, or patients don’t feel comfortable approaching the subject with their doctors (Timko et al., 2016). Additionally, many patients are not adequately educated on withdrawal; it can take a while for them to catch on to the fact that they don’t have a nasty flu, they are instead in withdrawal from the prescribed opiates they take (Kearney et al., 2018). This would imply  that in long-term opiate prescriptions, doctors need to do a better job of describing the near-inevitability of withdrawal, the signs and symptoms, and when to seek help.Patients are also often scared to seek help from their doctors, often preferring to seek answers from nonprofessionals on sites such as Reddit instead. There is fear that doctors would think they are lying. This is especially true when patients want to ask for a specific opiate, as this often makes doctors wary (Lagisetty et al., 2019). Instead, self-research about medications should be encouraged and not seen by doctors as grounds for a scam. Additionally, strict rehab policies and lengthy processes to get specialists are turning patients off (Mehrotra et al., 2011). The specialist issue is not unique to pain management, but should still be improved (Mehrotra et al., 2011). Rehabs or other drug treatment centers should also have less all-or-nothing, more harm-reduction centered approaches, especially ones that match the reasons why a person might be taking a specific drug.There is also a heavy stigma against drug users of all kinds in the medical profession (Ahern et al., 2007). Although it can be understood that a provider would be wary to prescribe an opioid to a self-disclosed drinker or benzodiazepine user, as these can cause dangerous combinations, there has to be some way to balance this. Otherwise, we have a system where patients lie to their doctors about their drug and alcohol use and therefore are not properly counseled and can succumb to these consequences. Doctors should take extra care if there is a Substance Use Disorder (SUD), but still prescribe, maybe with mandatory counseling, as more than anyone, people with SUDs can find these drugs on their own. In this system, posters are reporting lying so they won’t be cut off any prescriptions and even withdrawing by themselves so they are not marked as an addict by records.In the wake of the 2000s “opiate epidemic,” doctors were given more stringent prescription guidelines. In many cases, patients aren’t aware whether they are being affected, unless their doctors told them directly, but patients are aware that some great changes have been made, either from their past medical experiences or that of the people they know. Private practices have also instituted blanket rules against prescription, mandatory pain contracts, drug urinalysis, and pill counts, which can lead for one “slip-up” or double dose in a patient’s pain regimen to get them in trouble (Tobin et al., 2016). These policies should be reexamined as they are mostly working just to deter and punish chronic pain patients (Tobin et al., 2016). State and federal guidelines also need to be loosened, as doctors should have more freedom over their prescription choices, making patients’ lives better.

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