#jjk230 made me sad

[svtcrus]

December || gojo satoru x gn!reader

ANGST | Hurt with no comfort

a/n : I legit wrote this after going through an eventful moment of sadness from watching the recent episodes of the new jjk season.

NOTE : HEAVY jjk spoilers -> includes the events of volume zero. mentions of death. big old gojo angst (he's written pretty miserable). reader is implied as a sorcerer

synopsis : what happened after december 24th, 2017 ? what happened to you and your lover, gojo satoru?

"let's end this relationship."

it was december 27th when he told you.

it was december 27th when your heart broke.

[spoilers begin after the cut, read at ur own risk]

you knew how much his best friends death altered him, how much pain he was hiding inside. ever since geto fled jujutsu high. ever since he left this cruel world. everyone changed around you. it's not like you had also changed. you've become more wary for your students, even more attentive to satoru's mental wellbeing. but you didn't change as much as satoru did.

when satoru came home that night, he ignored you. heading straight into your shared room. he hasn't come home ever since the 24th.

the night of the 27th, you remember hearing the quiet sniffles in the bedroom as you packed the cold food he never ate. you could sense how broken he was inside, despite putting a happy demeanour every school morning. despite him acting all cheery and idiotic during a time when it was okay to grieve.

but for gojo satoru, he doesn't have the time to grieve.

he's the strongest sorcerer after all. he's always needed, the higher ups don't care if a former sorcerer has passed. even if that very sorcerer was such a prominent one of their time. even if it was satoru's best friend. that's nothing to them when gojo satoru can easily accomplish their deeds for them.

you wondered just how much he was hiding inside that brain of his.

you wondered just how much of that happiness he was displaying for your students was actually true?

so you followed him into the bedroom after putting away his cold platter.

the moment you had set foot into room was when he had dropped the bomb on you.

"w..what?"

but you had never wondered. envisioned. or even spared the thought that his misery would lead to the end of another "we."

"after all, we're the strongest!"

"after all, we're together! of course I love y/n!"

these two sentences rung not only in your head, but also his. what had taken him 3 days of long thought, a thought which scoured ever inch of his brain was you.

what he never told you that day was why.

why? he could never explain the indescribable feeling he was going through. every reason on why he was letting go. but he knew at least this one thing.

gojo satoru never stopped loving you. but love has become the most scariest thing to him in the world. as love is the most twisted curse of all. so, he took a step back. for he can't come face to face with the fears of losing another person he loves so dearly. for love has ruined everything around him. and love is something he believes gojo satoru does not deserve.

gojo satoru cannot come to terms with the potentiality of losing another best friend. his lover. you.

gojo satoru didn't wanna break you like how he's breaking himself from inside. like how he broke his best friend. for you are too good to be true. you are too good to him. and though he is seen as the greatest amongst all. for him? you were his angel while he was the devil.

"it's for the sake of you y/n. I love you. please never forget that. "

every ounce of love he had left was poured onto you. he hopes you will cherish it greatly like how he cherishes yours.

if only infinity could also stop the sadness that drowning him from within. only then could he grieve.

"how could I ever forget you 'toru?" your pleads were left unanswered. the love of your life leaving you there in the room where your love once blossomed. the same day he had came back, he left you all alone once again.

ever since the day he had ended your relationship, gojo satoru slowly begun distancing himself from the world. specifically a world full of truth and love. building up a facade of fun to cover this darkness that was slowly engulfing him. for he will continue to show a face of happiness for the sake of others.

because youth cannot be taken away from young people like how 3 years of his own youth was slowly taken away.

just like how nearly 10 years of youthful teenage love was quickly taken away from you.

@svtcrus || 07.30.2023

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