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doberbutts · 11 months ago

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I want to talk a bit about the whole "fat trans men are denied top surgery" thing because it's true. Many surgeons have BMI requirements and will not operate on anyone classified as more than "overweight".

But I also want to discuss how testosterone often makes you gain weight, putting trans mascs in a fairly difficult position.

When I started testosterone, I weighed 178lbs. I rapidly shot up to 198lbs. At 5'10" I'm classified as just over a BMI of 30 according to my discharge papers, making me classified as obese. I also started having a bit of a cholesterol problem and being that A: I've also hit my 30s in that time and B: I have an extensive family history of high cholesterol in the men in my family, we tried changing my diet and exercise to see if it was lifestyle or if it was genetic.

In that timespan I dropped 3lbs (bringing me to 195lbs, just under that obese line) and my cholesterol continued to climb. It's been about 7 or 8 months with no other change.

When I tell people that I weigh roughly 200lbs, they don't normally believe me. To be clear I don't really care about any of these numbers, I care about my overall health irt stamina, strength, fatigue, etc and I care about my actual muscle mass and body condition. There are, admittedly, times where I look at my stomach and go :( aww I used to be skinnier. But then there's also times like two nights ago when I looked in the mirror after my shower and just saw A Guy standing there looking at me.

Anyway. My point is, testosterone (and age) made me gain a significant amount of weight, and nothing really I've done has gotten it off. Which is fine with me, because I feel better at this current condition and am stronger and have more stamina than I ever did at lower weights even when I was a competing athlete. Everyone I tell my weight and BMI to is shocked to learn that I am 200lbs and classified as obese. From complete disbelief until I stand on a scale, to the immediate "you wear it well" or "it's all muscle though", to the inevitable "okay but BMI is a load of shit anyway", clearly even though that's what the numbers say I am not exactly the poster child for what lawmakers and fat phobic doctors fear monger about when they discuss the "obesity epidemic".

I am lucky enough that while my surgeon is being very annoying in other ways, she at least has no BMI requirement. For 7 or so months I have been putting in a lot of effort to try and lose some weight to fix my cholesterol and I have pretty much nothing to show for it. If it's that hard for me, someone who visually doesn't really look fat, how difficult must it be for someone who is definitely not toeing the line like I am. How impossible for someone who is in the 400lb, 500lb, 600lb range.

Testosterone makes you gain weigh, and then surgeons won't operate if you gain too much. What a fucking joke.

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doberbutts · 3 years ago

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Additionally:

Physical Violence. Trans mascs are subjected to violent transphobia often by their families or coworkers or peers. Everything from being beaten to being murdered, however due to invisibility and our transphobic society we never hear about these cases or they are lumped in with 'mistaken identity' cases. Trans mascs who are stealth and pass as cis men easily are more likely to be physically assaulted if they are ever clocked, and trans mascs who occupy the same spaces as cis gay men are often subjected to the same physical violence.

Sexual Violence. Trans mascs are uniquely at risk to be forcibly impregnated as a means of forcibly de-transitioning them, as often one cannot receive care for pregnancy or even the end of one without a Female sex marker on your medical file. They are also at high risk of being forcibly married into an abusive relationship, or especially one that will have the means to forcibly de-transition them. Being clocked in public but especially in private spaces like bathrooms and bedrooms also carries a high risk of sexual assault and rape, to the point where packer companies still to this day utilize both the glance test and the squeeze test to tell you if it is safe to use in a public restroom. A transgender boy was forced to show his principal his genitals when cornered by the adult in his middle school boys' bathroom. I have had my own genitals forcibly revealed on school grounds in elementary school by fellow students to 'prove' my gender.

Medical Gatekeeping Part Two. T perscriptions are notoriously difficult to obtain and carry a lot of stigma due to being classed as a controlled substance. Medically transitioning is often stopped by both misogyny ("don't ruin your beautiful uterus") and transphobia ("self-mutilation"), as well as high criterias to meet before being able to proceed (BMI standards, You Must Be This Masculine To Ride The Transition Train, non-binary more like non-surgery, and more!) Insurance, also, will often deny hormones and surgeries despite having it accepted in their policies.

Forced Feminizing. Many trans mascs are forcibly feminized as a means to forcibly de-transition them even before they begin. From parents forcing their trans masc children to take estrogen to 'cure' them, to their social group forcing them into feminine roles, to close personal relationships telling them they will be abandoned if they stray off the beaten path, this is sadly a reality for many non-transitioning trans mascs who often begin to contemplate suicide from being trapped in this cycle. Suicide is the highest cause of death for trans mascs and rape is the number one crime against trans mascs and this exact problem tells you why.

Isolation. This is a two-fold problem- due to invisibility, prior to the internet it was difficult to find *any* trans masculine people to share experiences with. This lack of representation leads to children in unsupportive homes left to feel broken and ashamed and directly contributes to the suicide problem. Those who survive this but are never given a word for it often go into survival mode and never speak about it with anyone, which cuts the new generation off from the old. We see this in every single person who is 50+ saying 'there's a word for that??? I thought I was just broken' and 'I made my piece with being a broken woman/failure at womanhood/not like other women (girls)'. BUT due to our proximity to men and manhood, we also are exposed to the isolation experienced by men on a regular basis. Cis men often do not have the support systems, close personal relationships, physical touch and emotional outlets, etc that cis women do. Many cis spaces are hostile to trans people, and trans mascs often find themselves either treated as man/woman-lite or outright denied access from these same support systems as a result. Trans mascs are often left to experience the trauma and isolation that makes cis men's suicide rates skyrocket, and many must experience these things completely alone.

Intersection. Black trans mascs and the way that the world goes from treating them like black women to black men often discuss how the grass is hardly greener on the other side. Disabled trans mascs often must choose between treatment for their disabilities and medical transition. Gay trans mascs are often considered predatory and accused of being rapists. Straight trans mascs are often considered predatory and traitors to lesbians. Trans mascs who call themselves lesbians are denied access to a part of themselves they have often had for longer than their transitions. Trans mascs who exclusively date men are de/misgendered and- if physically in a cis gay male space- sometimes subjected to physical violence if clocked. T4T trans mascs are considered mentally ill and de/misgendered and have their sexualities invalidated. Immigration is not an easy task when transgender nor is incarceration. Trans mascs are often forced to play on women's/girl's teams and then heavily punished for their testosterone levels or forced to choose between playing and de-transitioning if they have an advantage.

That, too, is what trans mascs run the risk of in this country. I cannot speak for those outside of the US.

What is transandophobia actually?

Because with all this recent discourse, I'm not sure a lot of y'all actually understand what we're talking about.

Invisibility. The complete lack of representation (much less GOOD representation) in media. The way cis people think trans = white feminine binary trans woman and nothing else. The way even queer spaces use language that excludes us, language that implicitly misgenders us.

Exclusion. The idea within queer spaces that masculinity and manhood is evil or bad or predatory (note: this idea also contributes to transmisogyny in some cases).

Infantilisation. This is the main way transandrophobia manifests among conservatives. They see all transmascs as teenage girls, easily influenced and unable to make their own decisions.

Medical Gatekeeping. There are a heartbreaking number of transmasculine people who have suffered or died because doctors have refused to treat their reproductive health issues. There's also the fear you experience going to the gynecologist's office if you appear 'too masculine', even if you know you need that care.

Misogyny. Transmascs are constantly told that they're only transitioning to escape misogyny by TERFS and their ilk. On the other side of it, some well-meaning 'allies' like to tell transmascs that they're "misgendering themselves" if they want to talk about their experiences with misogyny.

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