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#hidge mention
wlwfictionlover · 10 months
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Favorite fic on ao3? I need recs pls pls pls
For preath: Anything by @Heath17_KO5 but best reads are:
Ride it out Baby, you can have whatever you like Take a picture The Time Between By WriterX best reads are: The Legal Wives series Playing house on a grayscale by thewriterx 101 ways to please a woman (and other books you've never read) good morning baltimore Valentine's Crush By cbfj1s best reads are: epiphany by cbfj1s  This daydream is dangerous by cbfj1s leave before you get left by cbfj1s catch your flight (not feelings) by cbfj1s The Twelve Months of Smutmas by cbfj1s  at every table, I'll save you a seat by cbfj1s it comes and goes in waves by cbfj1s Bury the Hatchet by cbfj1s Other mentions: set your world on fire series by blake0tyler Fire and Ice series by Hidge Red by Hidge Two Plus Two Equals... by Hidge
For Krashlyn: Honestly, there are a lot I can recommend here. I developed a love from reading here. The fandom was so active I feel up until 2019ish and will likely die down with the recent happenings but anyway, these are just a few I go back to time and time again. Not All Who Wander by buffalo1221 Coming Home by buffalo1221 XO by NerdyBlatina I Married A Stranger by orphan_account Keep Us Together by NerdyBlatina
My own works: Let Our Love Provide The Heat by krashinglife Not your fucking friend by krashinglife Talk by krashinglife Chances by krashinglife I Will Fall For You by krashinglife Small dump by krashinglife
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I'm reading a lot of things about Hidge's sexuality canon wise. So taking account on what Nick and Matt Lang said (as much as I remember it without rewatching the video proof lol) my argument on why the canon sexuality of Prof. Henry Hidgens is that he is bisexual and Objectumsexual.
Well I think canon wise he is not polyamorous. I can accept that (i have no problem with him being poly canon wise. I am not anti-poly, just faithful with canon) but I remember Nick Lang or even Matt did not specify it. They said, within along the lines/paraphrasing: Henry loves his six boy friends, they are special to him, but Chad IS the apple of his eye. The last sentence they meant romantically.
So why bisexual and not gay? To make it clear, I have no problem with him being gay. I'm willing to be corrected. But since I'm arguing that he's bisexual, well let me start. Of course we haven't seen Hidge talk about or falling in love with specific women characters in the saga so far, however he did say in TGWDLM " Alexa, I love you like every woman flesh and bone", so there ya go. If he can find a woman that is subordinate to him like Alexa and Siri, then he can have a relationship with a woman. Come to think of it, i think he loves Chad the most because I hypothesize Chad always goes along with his plans/ideas. Yes I believe if I were to analyze his relationship personality, he wants to be the dominant in the relationship. He's very controlling and spirals when he doesn't get his way. Which why this is a good segway to...
And with the mention of two famous AI virtual assistants, I think it's enough to say that Hidge has objectophilia. More so in NMT episode Time Bastard where he shared his sexual rendezvous with either one of them to Ted and implied how he did it (some imagination and a little elbow grease or any lube lol). Not to mention that he talks to Alexa and Siri like they're humans. Fun fact, I read somewhere that people who have this sexual orientation cant handle keeping a relationship with another human because they're too controlling hence having a relationship with an object is easier because it has no thoughts, no opinions to consider. Also, this can also be a result of a trauma. Him losing his friends, especially Chad, during a lightning strike attack did not just lead him to isolation and practicing survival instincts, but also drove him to loving objects instead cause at least they won't experience terrible human deaths. Here is the source: https://www.hindustantimes.com/sex-and-relationships/decoding-objectophilia-5-reasons-why-people-fall-in-love-with-objects/story-LMvWWzhs257dD47yxNGC9H.html UPDATE: these facts are more connected to the character that is Prof Henry Hidgens whose personality reflects the generalizing views of the orientation better. Real life Objectums are a lot more complicated than that and can act against stereotypes/generalization. Thanks @fork-bork for reminding me.
Also further explanation:  ur friends can be ur life partners (hence there are old people living with friends in their twilight years) and some people like calling their friends as boyfriends or girlfriends. Hidge is just comfortable with his sexuality and closeness with his friends that he can call his male friends as his boyfriends. I think that's just Jeff's word play and humor going on as he wrote the song. And according to the song "it takes balls": Steve was a priest, Leighton was in a relationship with a person named Gary, and Greg was seeing/dating Steve's mom. Plus all of the boys, sans Chad and Henry, were attracted to females while at college based on their locker room talk acted by the Workin Girls cast.
I'm not like Unhidge Hidge, so tell me about ur thoughts/opinions/rebuttals as long as ur taking account of what I wrote here. Especially proof from the Langs with ur rebuttal. Of course in head canon or fan fic world, anything is free reins and you can experiment with Hidge's sexuality there. Just make sure to specify if it's canon or head canon so to avoid confusion and arguments.
Update:
I have the urge to check my HHP Working Boys screen recordings where Nick and Matt discussed Henry's relationship with the boys if it's poly or not. Update 2: Okay I watched it and Nick just says that Chad is his favorite so get out of that as you wish. But since the boys did their locker room talk about girls without Henry and Chad, I don't think the boys were making out with each other unless maybe just Henry and Chad if it's not unreciprocated from Henry's side.
I can understand if most fans think Henry is gay and not bi since Nick and Matt have not given more concrete proof of his attraction to human females. My only arguments with him being bi is that he loves and has done sexual acts with Alexa and Siri, AI virtual assistants with female names and voices. (NMT episode: Time Bastard).
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godsiero · 8 months
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hello. i have just finished all of nightmare time. buckle up, i have thoughts and spoilers ahead.
just a general statement before opinions are shared: obviously some situations take place in different timelines (like the ape-man vs time bastard), but what do you think happens in the *same* timelines? obviously forever and always and time bastard are the same timeline, but do you think each episode is a different time line? do you think it depends? as i’m typing this, i think each episode of nightmare time is a different reality, let me know your thoughts!
okay, starting from the very beginning with ape-man:
i thought ape-man was a good intro to what should be expected of nightmare time. i thought the “ape-man” being a set-up between ted and hidges was funny. i loved that lucy ended up actually meeting the real ape-man in the end. i didn’t really care for the ape-man *song*, and after finishing the rest of the episodes, it was a forgettable episode as a whole, but again, great intro to the idea of what nightmare time is.
watcherworld:
i love alice and bill, so i enjoyed this. watching nightmare time *after* nerdy prudes must die helped me be more excited about the introduction of the rest of the lords in black (because i somehow avoided spoilers for THAT long). that father-daughter relationship was so well put together. i love the blinky song, didn’t care for snoozle town (however, it did sound like black friday, the song, which might not have been intentional, but i’m gonna pretend it was to appreciate jeff blim lmao), as i’m typing this i don’t really remember one thousand eyes, so…i guess it wasn’t memorable? overall, i liked the generally positive ending and bill and alice establishing they will change their ways to help their relationship. love love love.
forever & always:
loved this episode. paulkins till i die fr. i was damn near fucking crying during the opening scene, i shit you not. (side note: i have recently developed the biggest soft spot for paulkins after reading the most incredible fan fiction, probably ever, forelsket by gooddaysunshine on ao3, which i qualify as canon now.) the song forever & always is definitely in my top five nightmare time songs, i just love it. i was totally shocked when paul killed the real emma, up until he revealed he was also a clone/not the real paul, so respect ig. top tier nightmare time episode.
time bastard:
the song time bastard is also in my top five nightmare time songs. kim whalen plz sing me to sleep. the song really set my expectations high because of how good forever & always was, but i was really let down. the revelation of tinky wasn’t as direct or nuanced as blinky and i thought the plot was really slow UNTIL the last ten minutes when everything looped (i love a fuckin loop). making ted the homeless man was truly an incredible plot twist, which makes me sad that wasn’t reflected during the rest of the episode. also peanuts is hilarious.
jane’s a car:
i love tim and sue me for being a barneston shipper. did NOT like jane, did NOT like the plot of tom fucking a car, that got a little too unhinged for even me. the song jane’s a car has been stuck in my head since before i even saw the fucking episode, i could not tell you how many times i have just yelled “GOT MY FOOT ON THE GAS” in the middle of conversations. that being said, the rest of the song was forgettable which upset me! i didn’t enjoy this episode, aside from the mention of the black book on the radio and the twist at the end where it’s revealed jane did take over becky.
the witch in the web:
first of fucking all, kendall nicole is a gift to this earth. that child is incredible beyond compare. protect her forever. second of all, i can’t really remember the plot of this episode, but i do know that i liked the story? not enough to remember it though? this is definitely a middle ground episode for me. i didn’t particularly enjoy either song, but i didn’t hate them. i liked the plot of miss holloway taking hannah into the black and white and travelling through time (kinda), and i liked the overall theme of webs to introduce webby.
honey queen:
the song honey queen didn’t do much for me, neither did latte hatte, or nibbly ditty. if this was any other circumstance i would’ve also added queen b to the list, but i saw it in the jangle ball before this and that made me enjoy it, but if i hadn’t seen jangle ball, just know, i would not have liked queen b. that being said, i did like this episode. i am not a linda monroe stan (sorry), but i do think she’s funny. i thought the kids were funny, i wanted to punch zoey in the face, sam gave me the ick, gerald is a fucking freak, i have never wanted to throttle jon matteson until i watched this (i forgot his character’s name), so all in all, none of these characters are likable at all except for river, but that’s the monroe’s for you. the episode was slow, but in the way a slow burn in slow. once again, liked the introduction of nibbly, and i think having the first episode *be* the honey queen festival was super important to the rest of the season because they never shut the fuck up about it after this (this is another reason why i think each episode is it’s own universe but i disgress). if that confused you, i *did* enjoy the episode, but it was another middle-grounder for me.
perky’s buds:
liked that emma got to start her pot farm. overall have nothing of value to say about this one. joey as the bird was really fucking funny. i like jae. love emma forever, that freak. this episode was really slow and not at all in a good way. i did not like the song perky’s buds. just wanted the episode to end. sad face.
abstinence camp:
this is probably my favorite nightmare time story. the song axe-man is definitely number one on my list (we’ll talk more later). the plot of this one was SO good and funny and creepy and everything hatchetfield is about. my main love for this episode stems from the introduction of our three lead nerdy prudes must die characters. i love those three freaks. steph and peter almost getting in the same shower went fuckin crazy and i was kinda glad they got caught lmao. the plot of girl jeri and boy jerry was too fuckin good, and i will say, i was a little confused why the axe-man never showed up to kill them when they were very obviously horny, BUT IT’S ALMOST LIKE THAT WAS THE PLOT HAHAHAHAH. also, love the return of plot and lore about the woods, seriously, needed that. also also, jon matteson and kim whalen should be paired up more because they’re both so fucking funny and have the capability of being charming yet ever so slightly off-putting and i fucking love it. virginity rocks is a fuckin banger (heh), but the real star of the show is axe-man. let me tell you why axe-man is the best nightmare time song: not only does it introduce the axe-man (who we have been seeing and hearing THE ENTIRE SEASON, mind you), but bryce charles is singing?? i literally don’t know what else you need to hear from me?? corey dorris in a flannel will forever change my brain chemistry and they both sound so good together, truly, and corey dorris is a baritone legend (i’m looking at *you*, corey singing the hidden baseline in high school is killing me). “his blade is made of hate” sounds damn near EXACT to “you better hope you’re outta sight” (literal monster). “oh the pain” sounds damn near EXACT to “it ain’t great” (hatchet town). MOTHERFUCKERS. WHEN THE BRIDGE STARTS “these woods belong to him…” THE FUCKING HATCHET TOWN MOTIF IS LITERALLY FUCKING PLAYING LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? also, just the fucking end that proves ur dead?? please. jeff blim. here, have some flowers. i will do anything for you. anyway. great episode. love it. 10/10.
daddy:
i liked that we gave frank some backstory and gave him a little more humanity because i really did not like that motherfucker (heh) in black friday. the plot with sherman was VERY funny and him turning into a child is kinda cute tbh. sheila u bitch, u let barry swift out of there!! i will forever be a man in a hurry fan, even after death 😭. yes take this psycho’s money and make your family’s toy store better and pay your one employee a living wage!! we love to see it. i don’t even remember the song young at heart, so that should tell you enough about how much i didn’t like it lmao. i had been waiting to see those care bears because i fucking knew they were going to be the lords in black plushies after i saw what colors they were. nick lang, you sneaky bastard.
killer track:
finally learned the tea about miss holloway and yes it was worth it. yes, i do realize why everybody loves duke and miss holloway now, hell, i love em now. miss holloway’s plot is crazy and if there’s another nightmare time season i hope she gets another episode, honestly. i like run away with me as a song in general, but for the genre of artist miss holloway is painted to be, the song is lackluster. I DO LIKE IT THOUGH BUT I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE MORE ROCK AND ROLL. i do realize it is a ballad, but even rock and roll ballads go harder than that did. killer track is a fucking rager???? jeff blim what are you doing writing musical theatre songs???? go write some fucking grunge shit???? killer track goes so fucking hard i really can’t explain it, jesus christ, also the video was sick as shit, do more!! (this really just proves jeff can write anything lmao) i thought the nightmare time remix was really funny and fun and just a good time, no notes, joey slayed the house down boots honey mama.
yellow jacket:
i liked the vibe of the song yellow jacket, very avril lavigne. loved the plot. loved the reprise of lex opening the wiggly box x opening the pokey box. i love the idea that there are multiple kids like hannah in hatchetfield and that would be a GREAT plot to expand upon more, however, i like that hannah and lex got out of there, but i felt so bad for ethan :( i wonder if he had proposed to lex that morning if she had said yes and not left or if she had taken them with him ugh i hate not knowing. my favorite thing about the hatchetfield universe is that they just keep pumping out these stories and plot lines that confirm these things are canon in at least one universe. i love knowing as much as possible and that’s what nightmare time has given me, ily girl. sorry went on a tagent and didn’t finish: didn’t like use it or lose it, i didn’t like next time, but i thought it was sweet 🥺 they’re all such cuties. ALSO!! the general john mcnamara cameo in this episodes them song KILLED ME i SCREAMED!! he’s literally my favorite. if they continue with a season 3 i hope to fucking god they give my man his episode god dammit. bonus, hey melissa: that shit was fucking weird and i hated that paul sided with her in the end that creep. anyway, thank you for coming on this journey with me, i hope you liked my notes, i love a discussion if you would like to comment. <3
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permian-tropos · 2 years
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ok a big thing for me about the queercoded patho stuff is that like. meethos is The head art designer for the game. meethos, who as far as we know, is openly trans. i've had people tell me that a lot of queer ppl work in projects and don't always make their characters queercoded, but here's the thing: the entire game hidges on meethos' artstyle basically. he's bleeding through all of its aspects. not to mention that it was 2005 (meethos doesn't work in ipl since uhhh 2015? maybe?) and that time was Wild for russian culture. you've got t.a.t.u., many provocative celebrities, people are swearing on tv, the trend Is something new, something provocative. so we have yulia, basically a canon lesbian, and it Fits into the time and place. there's no way to interpret yulia as straight, not if you know this context. so here we have tangible proof that daniil might be gay. yes, he's supposed to be a stand-in for the player who wants to be cool and intelligent, like him, but fuck me if pathologic doesn't love to troll the average player. if we have yulia, if we have eva, if we have the stamatins, who are all big flaming homos-debauchers-bohemians, then YES, DANIIL IS GAY. THAT'S IT. sorry i had to scream this out somewhere and i Cannot comprehend dumb redditors who know Nothing about the culture and the context and implications.
👆
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The New Romantics ch. 8
(If you have songs I can add play to a playlist for this fic please let me know!!)
Formerly known as Frenemies
Part 1 Here
Part 2 Here
Part 3 Here
Part 4 Here
Part 5 Here
Part 6 Here
Part 7 Here
click the OP if the read more link doesn’t show.
A HUGE GINORMOUS GREAT BIG FUCKING THANK YOU TO @klancedup for commissioning me for a part 8!!!!! You were my first commission, and I really hope this chapter meets your expectations <3
Remember, you can commission me for continuation of stories or a new story by transferring money through my Facebook (Ally Phoenix Lopez) !!
Reaching the castle again that night was emotionally draining for everyone. No one wanted to leave their family, but they knew they had a job to do. It was easier now that their families knew they were alive at least. Shiro and Allura helped Keith lug his new books to his room, and Keith couldn’t help but read as he walked with a stack of books under his arms.
He had randomly grabbed a book called We Are the Ants, and he was enraptured. He’d already read the poetry book he’d first grabbed which left him with chills. And he was still listening to the music from his iPod.
While the others had gone to bed, Keith stayed in his room, reading his book until he heard a knock at the door. “Come in!” he shouted.
The door slid open and he looked over to see Lance coming into his room. His eyes skimmed the room and his eyebrows went up in shock. “Whoa.”
“Pidge let me borrow some books.”
Lance nodded and walked over to the bed. “May I?” Keith nodded and pulled his legs in to give him space. “Um, Becca forgot to give you this. For when the iPod runs out.” He handed over a charger and then held up a plastic bag Keith hadn’t noticed. “Also, Maria and my mom wanted to give you this. I told them you like drawing and….” He handed the bag over.
Frowning, Keith looked in and gasped. He began pulling out the items one by one. Erasers, charcoal pencils, regular pencils, colored pencils, pastels, two sketchbooks, and a pack of brush pens. “How did they…? Why?”
Lance smiled and shrugged. “We have our ways. My mom really liked you. She wanted you to have a way to calm down. You said you feel better when you draw.” Keith nodded and smiled as he looked at his new supplies. He was already itching to start with the pastels. He was ready to see the smear of colors on his fingers until a page came alive with bursts of blues and reds and purples. Before he could get them out of their packaging though, Lance nudged his leg lightly to get his attention. Keith looked at him, finding a solemn expression on his face. “Keith, I-I’m sorry if that girl being there made you upset. I didn’t know-”
“That girl? You mean Rosa?” Lance blinked in surprise and Keith rolled his eyes. “Maria told me who she was.”
Lance sighed and nodded. “Yeah. The only one who ever liked her was Papa. I don’t even know why I ever liked her. She’s so shallow.” Keith snorted and Lance looked at him. “What?”
Keith shook his head and crossed his arms. “A girl finally refuses to leave your side and you don’t like her? You know that kiss suggested otherwise.” He shrugged. “But I guess you can kiss someone without liking them. We used to do that all the time.” He couldn’t help the blush that filled his cheeks, so he busied himself with unwrapping his art supplies.
It was quiet for a while, and Keith realized he was desperately hoping Lance would just lean forward and kiss him again. He wanted to hear him say that he didn’t like Rosa, but he did like him and that kissing him was different. He wanted Lance to take him by surprise and just kiss him like he’d read about in his book, wanted to feel what the poems described.
But Lance didn’t move. Because Lance didn’t like him. And they were just friends, and that was supposed to be enough.
“Can I stay with you?” he heard Lance whisper. He looked up to see his eyes pooling with tears. “I just… really miss my mom and I know the deal was coming back, but… I wish I’d stayed. I won’t bother you. I’ll just watch you draw. I could really use a friend right now.”
Keith fought back the urge to caress his cheek and nodded. He scooted over for Lance and set down his new things under the bed, keeping a sketchbook and the pastels with him as he scooted against the wall.
As he placed a pastel against the page, he felt a slight pressure against his shoulder and felt Lance’s hair tickle his face. “Is this okay?” Lance asked with a sniff. Keith hummed in affirmation and Lance settled against him more comfortably. Keith took a breath and ignored the speed of his heart and the rush coursing through his veins.
Who knew a crush could be so similar to the adrenaline he felt during a battle?
Keith leaned his head against the crown of Lance’s head and began to bring his page to life.
By the time he’d smeared, blended, and accented everything he needed, his hands were coated in different colors. He’d simply created the view of space with blues and purples and black, sprinkled it with stars, and smeared ion beams and purple canon blasters across the page. It was soothing and disturbing at the same time.
A tan hand turned his own over and Keith caught his breath as slender fingers trace his. “You have art hands,” Lance whispered sleepily. “It suits you.”
Keith managed a chuckle and curled his fingers, only barely holding Lance’s where they rested on his palm. “Go to sleep. You sound tired.” He pulled the blanket up on him, a sign to tell him he was welcome to stay the night. Lance shuffled down and turned onto his side, eyes shut. “Goodnight,” Keith whispered.
His eyes fluttered open, bright blue meeting Keith’s and sending a shock through him. “Night, Mullet.”
As soon as Lance’s breathing evened out, Keith turned to a new page and cleared his hands as best he could on his shirt. Then he picked out light blues, soft pinks, white, and soft yellows before beginning to fill the page.
As he drew, he thought of Lance’s eyes. Of how bright and full of life they could be when he was happy. How cold and determined they were when he was fighting. How icy and chilling and distant they could be when he was angry. How welcoming they were when he smiled, while being intimidating the second he scowled.
He had never thought of how ambiguous blue could be before.
Keith was nodding off in his sitting position as he blended his colors, so he managed to set his art aside before plopping down and pressing himself against the wall and succumbing to sleep.
He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep when he was awoken by the soft touch of warm fingers against his face. He opened his eyes and made out Lance’s shadow, his eyes bright in the darkness of the room. He scooted closer and Keith shivered as his thigh pressed between his legs and up against his crotch.
“Why are you so far away from me?” Lance whispered into his ears.
“What are you doing?” Keith stammered.
He didn’t get a response as Lance’s lips pressed against his throat, sucking softly. Keith let himself relax and sighed as he exposed his neck a little more. Lance’s hand trailed down to his jeans and slipped his under after unbuttoning them. Keith gasped as Lance’s hand ghosted over his growing hard-on over his boxers and he gripped Lance’s shoulder.
“What happened to being just friends?” he gasped.
Lance smiled and pulled his hand back enough to stop touching him. “You want me to stop?” Keith jerked his hips forward, which was all the answer Lance needed. He slipped under his boxers and cupped him, making Keith whimper. “I want you to fuck me. Can you do that for me?” Keith nodded and gripped his face, kissing him almost ferally.
As he did, Keith was slipped out of his jeans and boxers, and Lance clambering onto him, hands roaming under his shirt. He felt the curve of Lance’s ass against the tip of his cock, and he gripped his hips stop him. “What are you doing? Don’t hurt yourself. I can-”
“I already spread myself for you,” Lance murmured against his lips. “Come on, Keith, I need you.” Keith nodded and Lance began seating himself down against him. He was leaking precome and it was smearing his shirt, but neither of them wanted to take the time to remove their shirts. He was warm and his entrance enveloped Keith so perfectly, Keith could hardly take it.
Lance began to rock himself, letting out little pants as he let his head fall back. Keith watched him and thrust his hips up to settle himself deep inside, moaning aloud with each sound of skin against skin. Lance had one hand on one of Keith’s thighs, fingernails digging deep into the flesh. His other was gripping the hem of Keith’s shirt as he bounced on him, face scrunched up in desperate need.
Keith pulled himself into a sitting position, pulling Lance along with him as he pressed against the wall. “You’re beautiful,” he breathed as Lance continued to fuck himself at his preferred pace. “So beautiful, Lance. Look at me.” His eyes opened to meet Keith’s and Keith couldn’t help himself from gripping his hipbones and fucking up into him mercilessly as Lance turned to mush against him.
He was so close, but it wasn’t enough. Lance was gasping and letting out mewls of pleasure as Keith thrust up and pulled him down. “H-harder,” he begged. “Fuck, Keith.” He wrapped his arms around Keith’s shoulders and kissed him. “Don’t let me go. Don’t let me go.” Keith shook his head and flipped him over, pushing his legs up as he slowed his pace. “Wanna be yours. All yours, Keith please.”
“Mine,” he growled. “You’re mine.” He pounded into him, making the bed springs creak and snap, the mattress thudded against the wall almost comically, but Keith didn’t care. Lance was screaming under him, begging for more, and Keith could only think that Lance was his and only his.
He pulled away and shuffled down to wrap his mouth around Lance’s cock. Before he could even push himself all the way down, Lance was releasing into him, catching him by surprise.
Keith sat up in bed, coughing almost violently. Beside him, Lance sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Keith? You okay?”
Keith waved away the question, trying to catch his breath, still reeling from the vividness of his dream and the things that had been said, and the fact that it was just a fucking dream. Lance touched his shoulder, and Keith gasped, curling into himself. He could feel his boner pressing against his leg in his jeans and groaned because not only could he do nothing to fix it, but even if he could it would be nothing compared to what his dream was like.
“Keith?”
“I’m fine,” he grumbled, voice hoarse. “Sorry I woke you.”
Lance was wincing at the light. Keith hadn’t turned them off when he fell asleep. “Do you want some water or something?”
“No, Lance, I’m okay,” he snapped. He sighed and rubbed his face. “I actually need to use the bathroom.” He slid to the edge of the bed and walked to the door so Lance couldn’t see the front of his jeans before he bolted.
He slammed the door shut in the bathroom stall and risked an inquisitive hello. It was the middle of the night, so he was certain no one was in here. He shimmied his jeans down, hating himself but needing a form of release, of satisfaction.
With memories of his dream, he managed to stifle his groans until he was panting into his hand, shivering slightly. He cleaned himself up and left the stall, splashing his face with water and staring at himself in the mirror. He took a breath and went back to his room.
Lance was gone.
His sketchbook was open and on the back of the cover page was a small note in Lance’s writing.
Thanks for letting me sleep here for a while. I’ll leave your bed to you for the rest of the night. ~Lance
Keith couldn’t help the disappointment he felt. He sat on the bed and gripped his hair. He didn’t know why he had to have fallen for Lance McClain, of all people. How was it that the same boy who had driven him nuts and pushed every button on him by being irritating was now the one giving Keith wet dreams, jitters, and making him blush?
Then suddenly it clicked.
Keith didn’t like him. He just thought he did. Because Lance kissed him, touched him, had sex with him, said the right things. But if he hadn’t? If they hadn’t simply become friends with benefits, would they be where they were? Would Keith still feel the things he felt?
His feelings were superficial. They had been concocted out of the misinterpretation of their actions. Just because Lance was a good kisser and had been the only one to touch him in such intimate ways didn’t mean he really cared for him. It didn’t mean they were compatible. It didn’t mean Keith really liked him. He just thought he did.
And if Lance had gone to Hunk? Or Shiro? Or… Allura? Lance would’ve been messing around with them, and Keith wouldn’t feel any of this. For crying out loud, Lance didn’t even like boys before his sexual frustration began, and Keith had never really liked anybody before he decided to experiment with Lance.
There was nothing solid. And there was no way that Keith would ever be able to bring himself to believe Lance if he miraculously liked him. Because none of it was real.
His feelings were just a stupid illusion. He had been so starved of touch and affection and Lance offered it, said the right things at the right time, and now….
Keith covered his eyes and jerked back when his hands came away wet. He’d been crying…. And now there was no stopping the sobs that began to rack his body.
***
The following day, Keith spent his time training. He was too angry to keep reading, to stressed to calm down enough to draw something unrelated to Lance, and he just wanted to let out his anger.
He returned the next day, and the next, and the next. Before he knew it, he had returned to the same spot he’d isolated himself in for the past week with as little interaction with the others as possible.
Lance had stopped by to see him, and Keith had to remind himself not to feel anything because it was all just a stupid trick of his mind.
“Are you gonna eat? Lunch is ready.”
“In a bit,” he answered, tying his hair back as he prepared for the next level.
“Well, do you wanna train together maybe? I’ve been working on-”
“It’s fine. I kind of need to work on individual combat.” He turned away and started the next sequence. Lance’s presence emphasized his frustration and bitterness, making it easier to get through the level and to the next. He turned back to see Lance waiting, looking uncomfortable. “You can go eat. I’ll be a while.”
“Are you mad at me?” Keith shook his head. No, this wasn’t Lance’s fault. This was his own. His mind got ahead of him. He had made his mistake. “Then what gives?”
Keith turned and crossed his arms. “What, now I can’t take a day for myself? Can’t train alone or be more than five feet away from you for longer than-”
“Don’t you go there with me, you know that’s not what I mean,” Lance growled, stepping forward. Keith stepped back, immediately scowling. “Ever since Rosa got to my party back home you’ve been acting weird. Angry or something, and I just want you to tell me why. I won’t get upset, just-”
“Lance, do you really think that much of yourself? What, you think seeing some girl kiss you bothered me enough to be angry with you?” Keith stepped forward, closing the space, keeping his hands clenched at his sides. “I’ve fucked you and had you begging for more, Lance. I’m sure that’s way more than Rosa ever did for you.” Lance’s lips parted, and his cheeks reddened. “Don’t flatter yourself and think I’m desperate for your attention. I’ve got more important things on my mind.” He turned away, and started the next level.
Then Lance turned him back around and shoved him. “Don’t tell me you’re not mad at me then start insulting me. I just wanted to know what was bothering you.”
“Right now, you,” Keith scowled. “Just leave me alone!”
“Why are you avoiding me? You think we haven’t noticed that you keep holing yourself up in here like a 13 year old going through a scene phase?” Keith scoffed and turned away again. Lance pulled him back and Keith gripped his wrist tightly.
“Let. Me. Go.”
But Lance wasn’t backing down. His eyes were icy, piercing. “Okay, if it’s not about Rosa, then what? We were doing fine until that day.”
Keith snatched himself free and glared at him. “Did you ever think that maybe this isn’t about you? Not everything is, Loverboy.” Lance winced, but kept his jaw set.
“You said you wouldn’t push me away anymore-”
“Oh my God, shut up!” Keith shouted, shoving him back. He was overwhelmed with memories and emotions and the fact that Lance wouldn’t go away wasn’t helping. “This isn’t about you! This has nothing to fucking do with you!”
“Okay, fine! Whatever the hell it is, just talk to me!”
Keith felt his limbs shaking and a wave of dizziness. “Stop acting like you’re my friend,” he growled. Lance stared at him in shock and anger. “You only needed me to get you off and that’s the only reason you gave a shit about me, and I don’t need you pretending to give a shit about me right now.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Lance shouted in exasperation. “You’re always doing this, we’re always going back and forth. It’s like you want to isolate yourself, like you want to play a victimized loner-”
Keith reacted without fully processing what he was doing until he’d done it. Lance curled into himself, holding his jaw. He looked back at Keith with so much anger, and Keith knew he should apologize, but he didn’t want to. He was angry. He was angry at Lance for doing this to him.
Lance looked like he was holding himself back using every bit of will he had, but Keith didn’t want that. He wanted Lance to hit him back, to make Keith hate him so these stupid made up feelings would go away.
“Keith. Don’t.” Keith glared at him, lip curled and jaw set. Lance looked at him with those piercing eyes and took a breath. “I’m sorry for what I said. Okay? But let’s…. Please, just tell me how I can help you.”
He stepped forward, looking him in the eyes, and smirked, giving him a scoff. “Why would I want your help? Better yet, why are you bothering trying to help? Do you really have such a sad need for everyone to like you that-”
All of a sudden, Lance lunged forward, gripping his shirt and slamming him against the wall. Keith felt his head hit the wall and bounce off, but he only clenched his teeth. “You don’t know anything!” he shouted, and Keith swore he heard his voice break.
Still, he didn’t want to stop. He had where he wanted him. Just needed Lance to hurt him a little more so Keith could convince himself he hated him. So Keith could forget the pillow talk, the smiles, the touches. He shoved him off. “You sure about that? I know that you were so fucking lonely that you resorted to making me fuck you so you could feel like someone gave a shit for once. I know that no one back home likes your little girlfriend but you’re so desperate for someone to want you, you keep her around.”
Lance pulled back and swung, hitting Keith square in the eye, screaming for him to shut up. “You’re the one who came up to me offering to help like some fucking prostitute! You’re the one that came to my room because you couldn’t sleep without me. At least I’m not so touch starved I can’t even handle-” Keith shut him up by tackling him down to the floor, trying to hit where he could despite the pain in his eye. He felt Lance knee his stomach, felt himself get slammed onto the ground as Lance clambered onto him trying to block his hits. His face felt numb. Lance’s nose was bleeding.
No more words were spoken as they struggled on the ground, fueled by anger and hurt and insecurities.
Suddenly Pidge was screaming at them. “What the hell are you two doing! Stop it! Keith! Lance, get off!”
“Stay out of this!” Keith growled.
They continued their fight like primitive creatures, calling out ruthless insults, not even caring about who was seeing or who heard what. Keith kicked out and tossed Lance back, Keith’s leg and Lance’s elbow hitting Pidge in the process.
The green paladin turned red and snarled. “That’s it.” She barged out and the next thing Keith knew she was back, and there was a blinding pain in his side as the two split apart and Pidge was holding her glowing green bayard. “What. The fuck. Is happening?”
“Nothing,” Lance muttered, wiping his nose. His eyes were red. Keith pressed a finger to his cheekbone and winced when a spark of pain spread. Pidge stared at them and frowned.
“Guys, seriously. I thought-”
“Jesus, just drop it, Pidge,” Keith snapped.
“Don’t talk to her like that!” Lance hissed back.
Pidge looked at them worriedly and shook her head. “You guys have never gotten this bad before. Even before you… became friends.”
Keith stood up and scowled at the ground. “We were never friends.”
He left without a glance back, but he heard Lance shout, “Fuck you, Keith!” in the most hateful, raspy voice he’d ever heard out of him.
Keith kept walking, shoving past Hunk and avoiding Shiro as he walked the halls until he got to his room. He shoved all his art under the bed and wrapped himself in covers. Only… the covers smelled like Lance. They had the scent of some exotic fruit detergent and the sweet smell of his cologne. It smelled like Earth too.
Keith held back stupid tears and gripped the covers between his hands. He swore he wasn’t trying to smell them. It was just the necessary gasps of breath as he tried to control the painful knot in his throat. Because Lance didn’t want him. Didn’t really like him. Because Lance would never lay in this bed with him again. Because Keith would never have someone’s arms wrapped around him in the middle of the night, or wake up with the weight of someone’s legs tangled with his own. Because there was no one to keep him warm at night anymore.
He wouldn’t cry. Not over Lance. Not over a feeling that wasn’t even real. But maybe a little self-indulgence would be okay. Nobody would know.
So he laid down, pulling the covers up to his face. He didn’t care that it was hot. He didn’t care that his face hurt and that his hands felt bruised and swollen. He just wanted to hold on to this scent. This scent that was so welcoming and comforting, so Lance. At least while he could.
He faded in and out of sleep for a while until there was a small knock at his door. Keith didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure if he was hoping it was or wasn’t Lance. The knock came again, more insistently.
“Look, I know you’re awake, Keith. Let me in.”
Pidge. Keith frowned, walking over to let the door slide open. Pidge stood looking up at him with a plate of cookies, a first aid kit, and a bag of frozen something. “What are you doing?”
“I brought you comfort food and stuff to fix your face, duh,” she said. “Can I come in?” Keith sighed and shrugged, shuffling back to the bed. “What’s all the stuff under your bed?”
“Some art stuff Mrs. McClain sent me.” Pidge’s eyebrows went up and she walked over to sit on the bed with Keith. “Here, have a cookie. Hunk got some ingredients from home, so they should taste even better than usual.” Keith realized he hadn’t eaten in a long time, and the smell of the cookies was mouth-watering.
He grabbed one and stuffed it in his mouth, stifling a moan. He decided cookies were his favorite food. Pidge opened her first-aid kit and as she tore a pack open, the smell of disinfecting alcohol hit him. She dabbed it lightly along his eye, cheek, lip, and the bridge of his nose. He hissed but she remained focused.
“So…. You want to tell me what happened?”
He sighed and munched on another cookie. “Just an argument that got out of hand.”
She rolled her eyes and pulled away. The wipe was covered in specks of dried, brown blood. “I thought I already told you that you can’t bullshit me, Keith. I know Lance. He’s not violent. He’s a lot of talk, but….” She placed the bag of frozen something which was actually just an ice pack and placed it on eyes. “I thought you guys settled on being friends.”
He scoffed and said, “Yeah, just because we slept together. He never wanted to be my friend before. Now just because… all of that happened….” He shook his head. “And I don’t like him. I just think I do- or I thought I did. I don’t know.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.
“If we hadn’t done what we did, I never would’ve started feeling these things. So these feelings can’t be real.”
She raised an eyebrow and bit her lip, trying to figure out how to phrase her next statement. “The thing is… you did do it. And the feelings did start. It’s like alternate dimensions. In one dimension, you guys didn’t and remained teammates that bicker and protect each other. In this one, you guys hooked up and ended up having feelings. That doesn’t make them fake.”
He pushed the ice pack away from his face and threw his arms up. “Yes, it does, Pidge! If he’d gone to Hunk or Shiro, then he would be acting all sweet and romantic with them, and I’d still be that annoying guy he wants to one-up.” Pidge winced and shook her head. “I should have never started feeling these things. And they’re just… influenced by him, they’re not even… natural!” He groaned and let his head fall, gripping his hair between his fingers.
Pidge tilted his head up and moved his hands. “Lemme see,” she said gently. She coated his wounds in anti-inflammatory ointment and placed a stitch band-aid on his nose and two on his cheek. “You know, he was crying when I went to see him,” she murmured.
Keith hated that his heart clenched at that. He leaned his head against the wall and felt the slight swell of his lip. “I want to hate him, Pidge. But even after beating the crap out of each other….”
“Feelings suck,” she said with a sigh. She ate a cookie and sat with her back against the wall. “I can tell you from experience that trying to ignore an emotion doesn’t make a difference. You gotta accept it. It’s easier to deal with life if you acknowledge it.”
“Experience?”
She shrugged. “It may be hard to believe, but I get crushes too, man.”
Granted, Keith had never considered Pidge having a love life. Maybe she had a boyfriend back home. Or girlfriend. Keith had never considered her sexuality either. Though, he supposed that was because she was so focused on finding Matt and getting things done. A love life seemed like the last thing on her mind.
“That makes sense,” he said. “Although, I’m not sure I can picture your type.”
Pidge laughed and shook her head. “Oh, like I could’ve ever pictured yours!” Keith stuck his tongue out at her. She smiled and blushed slightly. “I like guys that are smart and funny and honest and brave. Someone who can be your friend before wanting to be more. Trustworthy. Who gives great hugs and can nerd out with me and stay up with me when I’m hyper-focused on something. Then carries me to bed so I don’t get cricks in my neck.”
Keith furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Pidge’s face. She wasn’t looking at him, but she seemed lost in thought, her cheeks bright red. “That’s… specific.” She took a breath and turned away with a shrug. “Pidge, do you like Hunk?” She groaned and buried her face in her hands. “Look, I trusted you with my shitty feelings, it’s your turn.”
She looked at him and made a face before hiding it again. Then she nodded. “It just sucks, because I know him and Lance and Shiro all see me as the little sister, you know? I’m fifteen, I’m still a kid to all of you. It’s just two years! But I’m…. Well, me.”
“Is this what the makeup thing was about?” he asked.
“No. Not really. It wasn’t because of Hunk specifically, I just… wanted to look older. Not like… a twelve-year old boy.”
Keith smiled and felt a wave of sympathy towards her. “So… since when did you start liking him?”
She turned redder and bit her lip. “I don’t really know…. I guess countless nights sent together over equipment and graphs can do a number. And anytime I’m stressed he can make me laugh. I mean Lance does too, but I get more frustrated with him. They have different humor, and Hunk’s fits me more. I don’t know. Then he started lending me shirts to sleep in and… I was a goner.”
Keith smiled and nodded. “Feelings suck.”
She smiled and nodded. “Feelings suck.”
***
The following day, Keith was woken up to the sound of the castle alarm. He hurried out of bed and ran to the hangar, avoiding eye contact with anyone. Still, as he climbed into Red, he caught a glimpse of Lance before he put on his helmet.
His nose had a band-aid, his lip was cut and slightly swollen, and there was a square gauze taped to his temple. Keith felt his stomach flip as he got into the cockpit and started Red up.
“Alright team, we got a Galra attack on planet Arus again. There’s only one fleet, so we should be able to take them down quick,” Shiro said certainly.
“Uh, Shiro?” Pidge said as they reached the planet. “That looks like more than one fleet.”
“Oh no,” Hunk groaned. “Lance, on your right!” The blue lion dipped down and Hunk turned to blast away a Galra ship. “We’re spotted, we’ve been spotted guys.”
“It’s all right, nothing we can’t handle,” Shiro assured. “Let’s form Voltron and take these guys out. We have to keep the Arusians safe.”
“Let’s do it,” Pidge agreed. “Keith? Lance? You guys still with us?”
“Yep.”
“Yeah.”
There was a slight silence before Shiro said, “Alright then. Form Voltron.” The lions began their typical formation, but nothing happened. The lions weren’t coming together. “Why isn’t it working?”
“I think we all know why it’s not working,” Hunk muttered.
“Hunk, come on,” Pidge said.
“Well, we need to form Voltron if we want to take those fleets down, and obviously Keith is messing up the bonding!”
“Oh, what so it’s just my fault?” Keith snapped.
“Don’t yell at Hunk!” Lance shouted.
“You don’t talk to me.”
“Guys!” Shiro snapped. “Crap, watch out!” The lions fled in different directions as one of the fleets fired at them.
Keith heard Shiro shout in pain and panicked. “Shiro?”
“Keep them at bay. I’ll try to contact Allura and Coran,” he groaned. “Go! And stop fighting!”
“I hope you boys heard that,” Pidge said with annoyance. “Now let’s go.” Despite being the youngest, Keith couldn’t help but feel like she was the one keeping them in line at the moment.
Throughout the fight, Pidge was the one shouting orders, and the one who quickly shut down any attempts at a new argument. Shiro had gotten hurt with the blast his lion took since he took the blow of nearly the entire fleet while trying to get the others out of the way. Coran and Allura had brought up the castle ship and managed to fend off a few more fleets.
As much as Keith wanted to ignore and avoid Lance, he couldn’t help the instinct that came over when he saw a fleet get to close to the blue lion’s turned back. He immediately shot a fire beam then turned to throw another ship against two that were flying in with the lion’s jaw. He would be lying if he said he didn’t keep one eye on Lance for the rest of the fight.
Finally they were able to get back to the castle ship, each tired and jostled since the fight took much longer without Voltron. Once they were out of their suits, they met in the lounge. Shiro stood beside Allura with his arm in a sling. He’d dislocated his shoulder. Keith thought he could fix that in a healing pod, but simply chose not to for a guilt effect.
“What happened?” Allura demanded, looking each paladin in the eye. Keith and Lance were on opposite ends, with Pidge beside Keith and Hunk beside Lance. Pidge didn’t even seem fazed by the fact that she was next to Hunk. Keith had to ask her how she managed that.
“We struggled a bit,” Pidge finally said. “We were just distracted. Tired.”
“Pidge, don’t cover for h- them,” Hunk said.
“Oh, don’t think I don’t know something happened between these two,” she snapped, pointing a finger between Keith and Lance. “It’s all over your bruised faces. Call me crazy, but I thought your stupid little feud was past us. Now, why in the world did you two decide to rearrange each other’s faces?”
Shiro put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. Coran was speechless, leaning against the wall. “I know you’ve all had your differences. But none of you have ever gone so far as to hurt each other,” he said. Keith clenched his jaw and risked a glance at Lance who was looking down at his hands. “What’s happening?”
“Keith’s the one who threw the first punch, ask him!” Hunk said. “We all know you’re the temperamental one, but this is too far even for you, Keith.”
“Don’t talk to me like you know me,” Keith answered, curling his lip. “You don’t know anything!”
“You need to stop talking to him like that,” Lance said, standing up. Keith stood up if only to minimize the amount he had to crane his neck.
“Oh, what don’t tell me he’s next?” Keith spat.
“Whoa! Okay,” Pidge said standing up.
“Stay out of it, Pidge,” they said at the same time.
Hunk stood up and shoved them each opposite ways. “We don’t need a reenactment, and you definitely need to leave Pidge alone unless you want her to taze you again.”
“What?” Shiro asked.
“Enough!” Allura shouted so loudly, all of them fell back into a seat. Shiro took a step away from her and Coran’s eyes widened. “You’re paladins! You’re not supposed to be acting like this! I understand you’re all young, but with this war going on, I’d expect much better out of all of you. All those bonding and training exercises-”
“You don’t understand, Allura,” Lance said tiredly. His voice shook, making Keith’s chest constrict. “You don’t have to get involved-”
“No, Lance, I think we do,” Shiro interrupted. “We’re not stupid. All of us know what’s been going on between you and Keith.” Keith stared at Shiro wide-eyed and with a deep blush on his cheeks. He glanced at Lance. For that moment their arguing and fighting was forgotten. They were just both embarrassed and panicked that their secret had obviously not been a secret.
“Welp, the cat’s out of the bag. I’m off to take a shower,” Pidge said awkwardly.
“Oh, no you don’t, Katie. Sit down. This is a team problem,” Shiro said. She huffed and plopped down.
Hunk shifted and crossed his arms. “Since when are their love lives a team problem? Sorry, buddy.”
“Whoa, love?”
“No one said anything about love.”
“It’s really not a team thing.”
“It wasn’t serious.”
Keith and Lance protested over each other, refusing to look at the other. Shiro sighed and rubbed his head with his Galra hand. “Guys, enough. No your romantic endeavors aren’t our business. Until they interfere with our jobs as defenders of the universe. And being unable to form Voltron because you two are angry with each other is not good.”
“Why don’t we start from the cause of the problem?” Coran said calmly. “What happened in the breakup?”
Keith hid his face and groaned as Lance huffed. “We were never dating!” A few confused looks between the Alteans and Shiro were exchanged. “There was no breakup!”
“Then why the hostility?” Allura asked in confusion, taking a seat at the other side of Lance. Keith felt a hot spark of anger but he snuffed it out. He peeked at Pidge and tried to mimic her tired expression.
“That, I don’t know.”
“Like I said, Keith threw the first punch. If you interrogate anyone, interrogate him,” Hunk said.
“Hunk, would you please stay out of it,” Pidge hissed, nudging him.
“Don’t tell me you’re taking his side. You’ve known Lance way longer than Keith and-”
“That’s not the point! Keith has a side too, and you’re just-”
“Oh, do tell me what the fuck his side is,” Lance said, leaning forward.
Keith sat straighter and touched Pidge’s arm. “Don’t you talk to her like that, you asshole,” he snapped.
“I’m the asshole?” he shouted, standing up again.
Keith stood, but before he could respond, Pidge was between them, facing Lance. “Aren’t you the one who kept telling everyone to cut Keith some slack because communication isn’t his thing? What now just because he’s not communicating with you it pisses you off?” Hunk stood up and put himself between Pidge and Lance. Keith noticed her tense. “Hunk. Please. You have to at least admit that I have a point! I’m not taking sides, but Lance-”
“Pidge, you don’t get it. It’s more complicated than that. You’re too young to get it, but-”
“Excuse me?” she breathed. Keith bit his lip and looked between them. Pidge scoffed and nodded, turning away and rushing out of the lounge. Keith glared at Hunk and followed after Pidge.
He heard her sniffling, and called out for her. But he wasn’t able to reach her until he’d reached the hangar where she was trying to get the green lion to open for her. She was crying, which was a sight Keith definitely never wanted to see. He hated seeing her so upset, especially knowing that the two people she was closest to were the two people she couldn’t be with.
He walked over to her, touched her shoulder, and suddenly she had her face buried in his shirt and her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Keith sighed and wrapped his arms around her gently, feeling her shake.
“I told you. I’m just a kid.”
“He was just defending Lance,” Keith assured. “He doesn’t….” But he couldn’t finish what he was saying because he didn’t know Hunk. So instead, he hugged her a little tighter. “We’ll be okay.”
She sniffed and he heard a muffled, “Feelings suck,” in his shirt.
Keith chuckled and leaned down to rest his cheek on the crown of her head. “Feelings suck.” 
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raphidae · 6 years
Text
A Full but Soft Emotion
Happy extremely belated Valentine’s Day, @veilofemptyspace! I’m your gifter for the Shance Valentine’s Day Exchange hosted by @shance-cafe and @shancesupportsquad, and I really hope you like this gift!  Also, thank you for your patience and willingness to have your gift be a part of this AU! Have Lance reading Lord Byron’s Stanzas for Music to Shiro! <3
Rating: Teen (there’s some innuendo and kissing but otherwise it’s pure fluff)
It had been a week since the happy day Lance Alforchild became Lance Shirogane, and he could not help but to smile at the thought of it. His new name rang like a joyous little tune inside his head, and oh it could not stop ringing. He sighed at the ceiling and turned to see his husband, his husband, laying beside him in their bed and still asleep. He placed a gentle kiss to the back of Shiro’s neck, breathed in, and found himself wrapping his arms around Shiro and sorely tempted to fall back asleep just like that.
Lance then chuckled to himself remembering his original post-wedding plans with Shiro. He had considered going on a wedding tour with Shiro to see his old friends, now happily married halfway across the world, but a letter from Ali Baba and Hongyu Saluja insisting that Lance remain in England with his husband stayed his impulse.
Now, however, Lance was half-sitting, half prone on the right side of the bed (he had to at least get himself up to greet the guests that would be coming soon, he’d let his husband sleep as long as he pleased), looking out the upstairs window of Keatonshire Abbey, its curtains half-open, and stroking Shiro’s hair.  He hummed fondly a tune he had been practicing on the pianoforte, one with a sweet familiarity that tickled his senses and reminded him of the day they had met, both unknowing of the absolute chaos that would befall their sweet town and eventually bring them together.
“Sleep is a reconciling, a rest that peace begets…” could be heard from the other side of the bed.
“Shiro you’re awake,” Lance said, helping Shiro sit up and placing a gentle kiss to his cheek. He then leapt off the bed, opened the curtains the rest of the way, and grabbed Shiro’s prosthetic arm, moving once again beside him to strap it on.
Once it had been completely strapped on a few minutes later, Lance grabbed the book of poetry, Lord Byron’s most recent, in fact, and began to read to a still-groggy but somehow sitting Shiro, “There be none of Beauty's daughters, with a magic like thee; and like music on the waters is thy sweet voice to me….”
“Keep going,” Shiro said, grabbing the blanket with his left arm and wrapping it around the both of them.
Lance continued, leaning onto Shiro’s right shoulder, “When, as if its sound were causing the charmed ocean’s pausing, the waves lie still and gleaming, and the lull’d winds seem dreaming.”
Shiro thought to himself that if Lance kept going, kept love flowing from the voice Shiro had loved the instant he had heard it, he would be soothed and entranced back into a delightful morning rest. However, they had guests coming relatively soon, so it would be best if he stayed awake.
Lance continued, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Shiro was by now entirely under his spell, “And the midnight moon is weaving her bright chain o’er the deep; whose breast is gently heaving, as an infant’s asleep.”
Lance saw his enchanted enchanting husband lean back onto the headboard of their bed, turned to look into Shiro’s eyes, and said perhaps more pointedly than he would have to a different audience, “So the spirit bows before thee, to listen and adore thee.”
Oh God, I adore you too, was the thought that rang in both their heads.
“With a full but soft emotion,” Lance whispered, his voice raw with love, and Shiro could not help but be swept away as he finished, “Like the swell of Summer’s ocean.”
Shiro steeled his heart back home, away from the ocean Lance’s voice had swept him off to, grinned and placed a kiss to Lance’s forehead, saying, “Stanzas for Music, eh? You set that to music, Lance, and I swear the world would swoon.”
Lance snorted and said, “Sometimes I think you’d say the world would swoon if I tripped on my face.”
Shiro grinned and replied, “The ground would be the envy of the sky right then–”
“Shiro!” Lance said, play swatting at him and then muttering, “Aren’t I supposed to be the one throwing lines like that?”
Shiro grabbed Lance’s hands with his left one, pressed them gently against his right hand, and said, suddenly much more serious, “I don’t know if you understand just how long I’ve longed for you.”
“Shiro?”
“From the moment I first heard you play, I knew my heart would be satisfied with nothing less than you by my side, just like this,” Shiro said. By the early morning light, his eyes seemed to sparkle like the last remaining of night-time’s stars, and once again, Lance found himself falling madly in love and wondering exactly what benevolent force in the universe could have gifted him with such a man.
Flustered and unsure of how to react to starlight, Lance stammered, “I, I can’t say that I was so certain from the beginning, Shiro, I mean, I hadn’t thought I deserved a man like you, and–”
“Oh Lance, you deserve everything,” Shiro said. He then leaned down and kissed Lance’s hands before placing a kiss on his lips.
Lance clasped Shiro’s prosthetic hand with one of his own and said, “I just wanted you to know that even though I figured out how wonderful we can be together, how wonderful we are together, second, I still believe in my soul that you are the love of my life.”
It was Shiro’s turn to turn away, wiping away tears (of joy, relief or perhaps a combination of both he would not say) as he replied, “You’d be shocked to know exactly what I dreamed of you doing with me–”
Lance then began to laugh as he replied, “Pffffft, I don’t think anything would surprise me on that front. It’s not like I hadn’t imagined myself getting to know you better, if you know what I mean, I just figured someone as… you’ve looked in the mirror, right, you know you’re a handsome man–”
“You really don’t think my body longed for you too?” Shiro purred, grabbing Lance with his left arm so his lips and his words rang right next to his ear, and suddenly the mood of the room changed entirely.
“When did you get so good at this?” Lance began to squirm in Shiro’s hold, and really, they had guests, though really, why couldn’t Hunk and Pidge, soon to be known as Henare and Katherine Garrett if they had their way, have waited until after Lance and Shiro’s honeymoon to leave for America and elope–
“Good at what?”
“Seducing me with your words, Takashi,” Lance said, his face bright red. To his delight, Shiro’s face had also taken on that crimson hue at the sound of his name, but Lance continued, feigning an attempt to leave the bed, “We have to get up, Pidge and Hunk are visiting Keatonshire Abbey in an hour before they leave for America tomorrow morning and you know I’d love nothing more than to stay in bed with you but–”
Shiro grabbed Lance by the cravat he had managed to put on, somehow managed it so that Lance was straddling him, and said, “They can always come upstairs.”
With that, he pulled Lance into a kiss, and that was that.
A blessed and unsurprisingly fruitful fifty-five minutes of passionate kissing later, they could hear the carriage holding Hunk and Pidge on the road in front of Keatonshire Abbey, and at that moment they realized that it would be the height of uncouth behavior to greet their approaching guests in such a… flustered state.
“It’s a shame that our honeymoon’s over now, visitors are coming and we can’t just keep kissing each other, among other things, for the rest of our lives,” Lance said, finally gathering the willpower to leave their bed and begin getting dressed.
“Well, we do have to eat as well as sleep, and also sometimes check up on our families,” Shiro said, “And our honeymoon will not be over in a week, Lance, it’s called a honeymoon for a reason.”
Lance looked wistfully at the window and said, “I don’t know, I quite liked it being just the two of us for the time we’ve had.”
“We’ll still have three weeks after today, but we’re going to have to rejoin the world someday, sweetheart,” Shiro said, placing a gentle kiss to Lance’s forehead and shrugging on his day clothes afterward. He paused once he finished getting dressed, and asked no one in particular, “Just what are we going to do with the rest of our lives?”
Lance was in the middle of buttoning his own waistcoat as he answered, “You’ve thought about it too?”
Shiro stammered, not realizing that Lance had heard him, “I mean, we can’t simply do nothing but live off the Alforchild company and name forever, Lord knows how that’d be perceived by the….”
As Shiro talked, Lance’s smile grew wider, because for once in their relationship it was he who could answer his husband’s questions and assuage his fears, rather than what more often than not seemed to be the other way around.
He placed a gentle kiss to Shiro’s cheek, held his prosthetic hand, and said, “You know, Shiro, I have a tailoring company I’d like to start, and I’d be honored if you joined me.”
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hidge-resource · 6 years
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@neversidefaerie oh Always - big ol’ ranch in the middle of nowhere Where The Government Can’t Bother Them. pidge’s views on the government are basically ron swanson’s. nothing is on record and she evades taxes like nobody’s business - side note, they bought the ranch as co-owners before they were even together. it was gonna be a big lab slash team vacation home and then they just, never moved out because it was cozy - Compulsive Adopters. like the team joked aout it at first because they pack bonded with the roomba but give them five years and they’ll have dogs of various sizes, a cat, two alien kids, more robots that got pack bonded to, and an alpaca or some shit. hunk is brother nature reincarnate, he Loves animals. the alpaca’s name is canela - pidge likes to garden but only vegetables because pollen is her Worst Enemy. the garden is dog-proofed. unfortunately the cat is an outdoor cat and eats the garden vegetables anyway - hunk tried to cook every night at first because Fun Hobby! but it’s exhausting especially to feed two adolescent aliens with Monstrously Large Appetites so he meal plans for the week every sunday. pidge isn’t allowed to complain because she can’t even toast bread competently - said aliens actually call hunk and pidge by name instead of like... dad and mom/gender neutral parent nickname. it’s not out of disrespect or anything, that’s just how everyone else addresses them so they learned by example - hunk uses one pillow. pidge uses like six in a very specific arrangement otherwise she cannot sleep. pidge also tosses and turns a lot so three of the six pillows are usually on the floor by morning - they’re affectionate in private but neither of them are comfortable with pda and also they do a lot of OH MY GOD!!! YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND yelling so most of the ‘neighbors’ in the town up the road don’t even know they’re married they’re just the weird mad scientists with a lot of animals. which is true. but they’re married weird mad scientists - hunk Built This House On ABBA And Will Raise His Kids On ABBA Accordingly. pidge’s favorite music genre is hardcore heavy metal. the alien children have, quite the music taste alright
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My top 10 VLD ships
Tagged by no one I just wanted to
1. Sheith ofc
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2. Hallura
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3. Zezor
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4. Nymatt
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(There aren’t any gifs of them in the tumblr search whoops)
5. Lotura
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6. Hunay
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7. Mallura
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8. Kolo
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9. Team Punk (while I prefer BROTP I think they’d be terribly cute if they were to date, too)
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10. Matt x me
Lmao nah it’s Ulivan
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awigglycultist · 2 years
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I'm lying in bed and cuddling my Wiggly and it's time to finally rewatch Honey Queen now that's its on youtube!
God I love this theme song
Jae's and Bryce's voices!!!! They're so good!
"you fill my heeaarttt wiiithhhhh joy."
Dan's "winning smile" is mentioned in both Witch in the Web and here, that may or may not be important
"no one wants to go to your stupid cherry festival."
The four blonde boys!! Ugh I love river and I hope everyone else loves him just as much
We know River is 6 but I wonder how old the other boys are
"how big are you looking to go? Reduction? Ah that's a shame"
GOD Roman is SUCH a bitch. Smiling and doing that little song after Linda says she doesn't like that.
God I remember seeing that Jon was Roman and just being such suprise and awe like omg I immediately knew this would be such a fun character and Jon would be great
"your my honey queen :)"
"something your good at?" "I'm a mother." ahh parallels to "all you gotta do is just do what you do best" "shop" "be a mother"
Hnnngg Zoey
Linda just saying she won't allow Zoey to compete dndjehdh
"now I know there's a judge I can seduce that you can't"
"awwww you gonna cry boomer?"
"I got stick for you right here ;)"
"SHE CALLED ME A BOOMER GERALD!"
God I love them. Gerald is just. So head over heels in love with Linda. And loves her being evil and cheating. They're so great
WOOO THE SEA CAPTAIN
I love Angela dndjdjd
Poor Liz :( she moved ten years ago!!
ONCE A CHEMIST ALWAYS A CHEMIST
God wtf is up with Hatchetfield's hatred for Clivesdale. Like it is no longer a fun town rivalry they are kicking ppl out bc they're from Clivesdale. What the fuck is up.
Linda doing the job transfer of one of the constants and then saying "I'd say go to hell but your already moving there" I've said in the past I'd like to imagine that she's referring to Hell, Michigan. But I just realized Linda says "she's going to love Dubuque" so no Amber is definitely not moving to Hell. Come on Langs there was prime moment for a reference to Michigan there!
Ugh Zoey's such a bitch for outing Zach jeez
Always I want more of Zach and I want to see Josh asap they deserve better and I love them
Also if we ever see Josh he should played Joey, you know why
SAM SWEETLY
They very much did NOT get out Hatchetfield actually Zoey
Emma 🤝 Zoey
Baristas that hate hatchetfield and want to get out of it more than anything but end up dying in it
MALONE! Fucking werido
"you dirty girl"
Once again I need to see Malone and Gary solving crime together also again I believe Gary wasn't in this episode
"Mommy, why did you pay that stinky man?"
"damn straight!"
PROFESSOR HENRY HIDGENS!!!! AHHH MY BELOVED!!! AND NICK DOES A GREAT JOB!
If I'm correct Ted and Zoey are the only ones to have called Hidgens "Hidge"
I forgot that Mimaw was the first woman to swim the Nantucket Chanel
"bye bitch."
Did Sam kinda kill Mimaw bc he very purposefully switched the prescriptions and did it wanting her to die? Yeah. Should the nurses have paid more attention and were definitely being neglectful not checking the doses? Also yeah, chestnut estates needs to hire better ppl
It's okay Mimaw deserved to die she's homophobic
"whaaat. Thee. Fuuckkk?"
Oh god I forgot how terrible Linda was to the homless guy, "your going to work for a change" ughh ew
Also I still want to cry every time I see homeless man thanks again Time Bastard
Love that he's in a suit but still wearing a beanie
WOOO LATTE HOTTE IS SO GOOOD
"I'm the latte hotte you asked about" very much feels like it's directed at the audience. Like us having always been trying to figure out who that latte hotte is, asking the Langs who it is. And now Zoey says it's her
Paul! Also wow rewatching it after seeing the post about Paul being out of character yeah that "sure" does feel odd especially since its so casual and not like confused and anxious
"I don't know who the 'Emma' bitch is. Get it right"
"oh yeah! Latte Hotte! Very nice" ahh the Ted is coming through
"I can't stop dumping ass" still get me dkdjdbdbdb
AHHH I LOVE GERALD FUCK YEAH STAND UP FOR YOUR WIFE
ZOEY'S SCREAM AFTER LINDA WALKS AWAYS RJRBFUVFHDHDDNDNDJDNXJDND "aaaaaaaa"
So we know there's a Hatchetfield high ofc and a Hatchetfield elementary, there's probably a Hatchetfield middle school too. We know about Sycamore high ofc so I'm sure there's an sycamore elementary and middle too right. I wonder if there's more elementary schools too.. Where I live all the towns have like 5 elementary schools and then 1 middle and 1 high. So I wouldn't be suprised if there's more elementary schools in hatchetfield.
Obnoxious/Cineplex Teen my beloved!!!
"WE THINK YOU SOUND SEXY!"
Oh I'm also kinda surprised Charlotte wasn't even mentioned in this episode
"Yes. Yes. Fuck em. Fuck em straight to hell. Assholes." "Just crown her! Crown her now!" very easy to please
"please, don't make me cheat again, I already feel dirty" god mood. I've cheated on a test once ever in my life and I felt so terrible and dirty after it.
"woo go Lin! :)" "yay mom! :D"
Yeah I'm not in AP Govt but those of you saying that CT is AP Govt bc of that question are definitely right. Fucking nerd
"helpmethroughthisandI'llfundyourfuckingmusical" "deal. All right!"
Hidgens said he wants the rich to pay their fair share of taxes while being rich and wanting to be even richer for working boyz, iconic.
God. The build to her answer. "the perfect answer. The only answer" and then "I hate homless people" it's so good
Oooh I wanna say something about Hailey so bad but I don't wanna put any spoilers for the other eps in this.
Also this scene hits harder bc recently one of friends who's in choir lost her voice the day of a performance that she had a solo in and god she was absolutely destroyed (luckily she got her voice back in time)
I feel like Hidgens shouldn't be allowed to boo one of the constants.
Ooooh Henry's dramatic turn "I betrayed you? Zoey. 'working Girls'? I don't think so." CHILLS
Sam's fucking sunglasses (if you know the post you know the post. Ash is a genius)
QUEEN BEE AHHHH
PRETTY LADY HNGGG I AM IN LOVE
Corey's directing for Queen Bee!!!!!!! It's so good!!
Reminder that 4 yr is not okay to let your kid to the bathroom by themselves, ass seen with Gerald saying he needed to take River to the bathroom in Black Friday, but 6 is totally okay to let them go by themselves as seen in this.
"hey don't be scared. I'm a cop" nddhdb
"which kid?" ugh jeez still gets me djfjd
"my boyfriend? He's a cop. He can make your son... Disappear, and the rest of the force will just look the other way." god Starkid really said fuck cops so much this episode I love it (and they're fucking right with this line too)
"River? You piss all over yourself again?"
"I'll kick his ass, you kick hers. Love you :)"
A big, beefy guy™
Oh wow I forgot about "and it's not just gonna be you. I'm gonna kill River, then your other brats, then I'm gonna out a bullet in your wife's skull!" like damn that's fucked up (appropriately for hatchetfield ofc)
God Sam is so dumb sjdbrndbdb "man, am I just shitty cop?" yeah you are dude
Okay the "sweetest women in hatchetfield" thing has been talked about plenty that's obviously but we should talk about "the constant who best embodies the spirt of this town" more. The people who best embody Hatchetfield are ruthless. The "hungriest". They will do anything to get what they want. They will kill without hesitation to become honey queen. That's who best embodies Hatchetfield.
Hnnngg Linda's speech over the phone to Gerald :( and he'll never get to hear it :(
The Starkid cult the church of the Starry Children
God Roman is insane and I love him and Jon's great
"Gerald can't help you now. He's dead :)"
"Nibbly will gift us wealth and power" holy shit I forgot that! Roman is only rich thanks to Nibbly!!! Also this seems to mean that the others in the church are rich too we know Shelia is and she's rich. So yeah the theories about other certain rich members being in the church too definitely makes sense (tho I don't think Hidge is bc I don't think he would've helped Linda to get money for working boyz knowing she'd be sacrificed)
I love Nick smiling at the end of eps he looks so proud and happy but also the kind of smirk like "ohh your hurt? Did this episode make you feel things huh? Fuck yeah we fucking got you" and I love it
This song really is batshit
Omg remember when the album for Honey dropped and we were predicting that Curt would play Nibbly bc of him singing in the Nibbly Ditty? Nsdjdndnd
Omg I love Curt and James in this the faces they're doing, Curt standing there and being creepy, James absolutely dancing and being creepy jdkddb I love it
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preathfics · 4 years
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Hey!
Do you know any good fic that follows the cp-th timeline ??
check out the timeline tag and the USWNT tag
some i’ve mentioned before: 
Side A, Side B by thundercatsarego
Crossing Boundaries by elm27
Become What You Are by Cheville
Moments of Impact by Hidge
I’m in love with my best friend by 17teesupfortobin
Coloring Outside The Lines by HerSweetMockingMouth follows the real-life timeline but is pretty AU
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okay, i’m making a list of things i’ve figured out from the spoilers i’ve seen on tumblr and discord. this might not all be accurate, sometimes you guys aren’t very clear. 
rob and mariah had a duet
emma mentioned jane in her vows
paul was an idiot
an android emma came in and fought actual emma? or something? anyway android emma appears and lauren lopez fights with herself. 
paul’s a clone?
paul 23 or something
so there was 22 clones before him
android emma and clone paul are in love <3
i think people are calling android emma ‘emma 2′ so
paul (clone) kills homeless guy?
also bill has a gf called sylvia, and she’s played by kim
also hidgens/chad confirmed
also hidgens/alexa confirmed
also hidgens is cheating on alexa with siri or something?
paul is kinky
uhhhhh i think that’s all i’ve got for forever and always
moving on to time bastard
ted calls paul his best friend many times
he’s also friends with hidgens and calls him ‘hidg’
uhhhh CCRP stands for something (i can’t remember what) but i think it’s evil??? maybe???
THEODORE SPANKOFFSKI
i think charlotte may turn up at some point
i think the sylvia person is also in this one
also there’s a person called jenny?
and ted goes back in time 15 years ago and is hitting on the jenny person even though she’s 15 years younger than him
also i think his past self is there? maybe?
anyway there’s a new eldritch horror doll
AND IT’S HIDEOUS
IT’S SO UGLY WTF
WHY
it’s played by jeff with a voice changer
umm ted gets stuck inside a rubik’s cube or something
but it’s magic or something
anyway by the end it’s revealed he’s actually the homeless guy
and it ends at the beginning of forever and always
and that means paul killed ted :’(
the ending song is lauren and joey singing about peanuts the pocket squirrel
that’s my interpretation based off of what i’ve seen, let me know if i’m drastically wrong because i don’t really care about spoilers (in fact, if anyone wants to message me and tell me the entire plot, that would be great). 
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trish hidge is mentioned in steves spy in the desert bonus track Im so happy they remember she exists<3
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lesbianklance · 3 years
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Punk/Hidge?
paladins with either shiro or pidge is a big fat no
posting this just cause i want to make it clear cause i dont think ive ever mentioned it
no i will not start a conversation about this, the age differences are simply way to big ill leave it at that
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andie-cake · 4 years
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how much does paul know about borrower!emma's backstory regarding hidgens?
At first, Emma only really tells Paul about the fun stuff regarding her time living in the Witchwood. Maybe she mentions having briefly stayed with a human, but doesn't elaborate further on that. Paul can tell from the first time he properly meets her that Emma doesn't trust humans very much. Hell, at one point she even tells him point blank that he's the first human she's really trusted in years. Paul doesn't wanna break that trust, so he doesn't pry.
But I imagine that later on, Paul does encounter Hidgens. They get to talking, and Paul makes a casual remark about "my friend Emma" (they're not a couple yet), and Hidgens is like 👀👀. Hidge begins to muse about how he once had a Borrower named Emma in his home, and starts trying to pry into Paul's thoughts and beliefs on Borrowers to see if "his friend Emma" is the same one he'd been planning to sell off all those years ago.
This... worries Paul, and later that evening after he gets home and he and Emma are chatting in his bedroom, he gently asks her "Hey, do you by any chance happen to know a guy named Professor Henry Hidgens?" and explains what happened earlier that day. Emma freaks out a bit, and tells Paul the story of her past with Hidgens, warning him not to trust the professor. It's a rare moment of emotional vulnerability from her, so Paul knows she's serious about this. In that moment, Paul swears to Emma that he's never gonna let Hidgens near her or her family.
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While I’m still salty, might I mention the Hidge wiki has had more canon content now than Plance ever did?
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shortguyswag · 4 years
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27 Dresses Hunk/Pidge AU
Hello fellow peanut butter cookie shippers! I am here to bring you an absolutely insane au based on a slightly older romcom, and I apologize for everything.
Also if you've seen the movie, I'm taking a few liberties. Sorry.
@hidge-week​
so first, we have our main character, 'Jane,' played by Pidge. She has been a bridesmaid in 27 weddings, and kept the dresses to all of them. She is also madly in love with her boss, Lance, but I'll get to how this is still Punk later. She absolutely loved weddings, and for her wedding, wants basically her parents' wedding. Also because her mom died when she was little, she helped take care of Matt. Also loves weddings, hopeless romantic, desperately waiting for her wedding.
next we've got Hunk, who plays the role of 'Kevin,' a slightly cynical guy on the surface who writes the section about some random weddings in the newspaper. He desperately wants an actual article though. I
Matt plays Pidge's sibling. Keith plays Hunk's friend. Allura plays Pidge's friend. Shiro plays Pidge and Matt's dad.
action!
So one night, Pidge has got two weddings to split her time between. So she's hopping between two weddings, obviously a little stressed, mostly because she's bridesmaiding for both. Yeah. Oh, and did I mention she's maid of honor for both because she did almost everything for both weddings? So anyway, at the flower toss for one of them, she almost catches the bouquet, but she gets bumped out of the way, bumped into the floor, and straight up passes out.
When she comes to, there's Hunk. Her friends, uh, Shay and Allura are there fussing over Pidge, and Hunk sends them away to do something or other to get them to give her space. Once Pidge is up and ready for war again, he helps her out to her can and rides home with her and makes sure she gets home safe and all that. Unfortunately, she forgets her planner that notes her wedding dates and stuff. He tries to get her attention, but she's already gone.
he looks through it cause he's curious, accidentally brings it up to his boss, uh, Iverson the next day, gets assigned a news article about it cause 7 weddings in 1 year? Dang, she must be devoted, that's a good story there.
hunk keeps calling Pidge so he could give back her planner, but she ignores it for one reason or another. Anyway, at the next wedding where she's bridesmaiding, Matt tags along, Allura almost convinces her to confess to Lance, as and Matt and Lance fall in love. RIP Pidge.
Pidge calls Hunk and asks if they could go out and get coffee or something, and Hunk TRIES to help Pidge learn to say no after he gave her her planner.
Hunk says he is writing an article about the Lance/Matt wedding to get info on Pidge for his article, there's a dress show off montage, they kind of slowly fall in love, Hunk finishes the article, but asks Iverson not to publish it because he knows there's more to the story, they go to get decorations, and Hunk finds out how hard she's pining for Lance, they get stuck in the rain and go to a bar to hopefully get decent service, they don't, but they sing some crazy song, go to a coffee the next morning, and first they get told good job with that song, then Pidge finds out about the article, which was in fact published. She gets super mad.
heads home, Matt's kind of annoyed, but more good spirited than the sister was in the movie. Mostly just finds it hilarious.
Matt does something to really get Pidge mad mad mad mad. She destroys the lies Matt told Lance to try and portray himself well. Wedding's called off, Hunk gives Pidge a digital planner. Shiro helps Pidge and Matt settle their arguing. Lance and Pidge end up dates to some event, Pidge realizes there's no chemistry there, but there is with Hunk, goes to find him and it's at some wedding, and because she was relatively famous in the local wedding circuit because of that article, bride helps out.  Pidge and Hunk kiss, and we day forward a year or two. Hunk works on actual articles regularly now, Keith's took over Hunk's old job, and is there to document the Punk wedding. Allura meets him, and they plan a date immediately. Lance and Matt meet and start a new relationship on truths, and Pidge has so many bridesmaids. The bride from all the weddings she bridesmaided for, plus Allura, and maybe Matt if we ignore logic. Pidge and Hunk make their vows, kiss, credits roll.
Yes, I know I missed a lot, but the post was long enough already, and I've already spent more time on this than is necessary.
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