#hidden behind me

[vocalyrics]

Hidden Behind Me - Translyrics

If I'm selfish or if I'm incomplete,

Then won't you please just stay close and hold me?

There's no way I could ever return

To the days where I smiled.

Come on, touch me, see– I feel so gouged out,

I've gotten used to all this pain by now.

Hey, come on,

We're only getting started.

The ordinary life that I once loved

Is now lost and has become stained with blood.

Growing twisted and starting to change, I

Head into a mad world.

I'm still wishing, but it isn't enough,

All I want is for you to feel my love.

With that lethal weapon in hand, I

Keep running, keep running.

As I reached out to touch that naive love I had once locked away,

It dissolves in my hands and now it has turned into only pain.

As this repetition continued, I kept clinging to its meaning,

At this point, I don't know if there's anything I can believe in.

The kitsune kept on laughing; “So, which one of them is guilty?”

And they're still waiting even now, hiding behind me.

Be tainted and changed into something brand new!

If I lived in a world that's missing you,

Then whether I'm selfish or incomplete,

I would rewrite that world!

It's so cold that it makes me want to weep,

Even so, this pain of mine seems so cheap.

It's so beloved and yet it's so sad,

I head back onto the stage.

If these feelings I feel deep inside are allowed to be released, then

I'll touch them, watch them melt and now completely invade them!

As I was searching for you, I kept on calling out your name,

So we won't get separated, I'll go to meet you right away.

The kitsune kept on laughing; “So, which one of them is guilty?”

And they're still waiting even now...

Until this repetition has no meaning for me to cling to,

You're the only one I'll look at, because I do truly love you.

The kitsune kept on laughing; “So, which one of them is guilty?”

And they're still waiting even now, hiding behind me.

Together, we'll walk onwards to

Our happy ending.

[octosan]

Hidden Behind Me

[by Shitoo]

If I'm selfish or, not whole anymore

Please just hold me and come along with me

I can't return to the days when I could easily smile

-

I've been emptied out. Look, see for yourself--

I'm already used to the pain by now

Hey, this bout hasn't even started yet

-

Slowly changing, slowly twisting;

The once everyday life I used to live

Has been stained in blood, it's now lost to me. A mad world in its place

-

I keep wishing but, still it's not enough

Despite everything, I still want to love

With that lethal weapon in hand I only run and run on

-

I'd sealed it away at the start, the naive love inside my heart, but

When I touch it, it dissolves and now it's become an agony

-

I kept clinging to some meaning in this endless repetition--

I don't think that there's anything I can believe in anymore

Came the laugh of the kitsune, "Do you know who the culprit is?"

All the while hidden behind me, they lie in wait

-

Become tainted, and let this change you, then!

If this world is one with no you in it

I'll be selfish or not whole like before, and rewrite it once more!

-

But how cold, though. But how painful.

My pain feels like it's worth nothing at all

So beloved yet miserable. Now I head up for the stage again.

-

If in the end I am allowed to have these feelings that I let out

Then I'll touch them, they'll melt down. I'll embrace them completely!

-

Calling for you repeatedly, I search for you without an end

I'll hurry you to right away, so we're never parted again

Came the laugh of the kitsune, "Do you know who the culprit is?"

The one hidden behind me, their name...

-

Until all meaning has run out, in this endless repetition

You'll be all that I care about. I love you, ever and always

Came the laugh of the kitsune, "Do you know who the culprit is?"

All the while hidden behind me, they lie in wait

-

Heading along to our happy end, we pick up our pace

[qoldenskies]

i think its so funny when people take the way donnie acts at face value even though its a horrible lie because he's a horrible liar, while understanding leo is bullshitting very well despite him actually being GOOD at bullshitting. many such cases

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

In the world of heavy metals, love is denser than hate!

[leopardmuffinxo]

so touch me again; i feel my shadow dissolving

[s0fter-sin]

trans!soap taking his baby and running away from his rich abusive husband

(cw angst, financial abuse, single threat of child abuse, single mention of transphobia)

he's owned soap for years, since he was a teenager; paid for his medication and all his surgeries and tied them so deeply, soap’s lost hope of ever getting away. he gets even worse when soap falls pregnant. he was always controlling; blowing up at him if he spent too long out of the house or did something without telling him. but he becomes utterly possessive during the pregnancy

soap knows it has nothing to do with his safety or the baby's

he knows he sees his baby as an investment; another being he can control and hold over him

he gets worse and worse but there’s nothing soap can do. there's been nothing he can do for a long time. then a few months after the baby is born, soap doesn’t watch his tone closely enough and his husband threatens to drop his baby in punishment for it

soap doesn't think. he doesn't plan

he takes his baby and runs

he sneaks out of the servant's quarters of the sterile mansion he's been forced to live in for almost a decade and walks down the street without a backwards glance; his baby the only thing in his arms. he knows all of his husband's cars have trackers, all of them in his name since he never lets soap drive or go anywhere by himself, so he walks far enough to be out of view of the mansion's cameras and steals one. it doesn't have a car seat and all he can do is clutch his baby to his chest as he drives

he doesn't know where he's going beyond away

he doesn't know what he's going to do; he doesn't have any money, no supplies for his baby, he doesn't even have water for himself so he can reliably breastfeed him. he's terrified his husband will find them; he’s always felt omniscient, always everywhere and seeing everything he did. if he didn’t have eyes somewhere, he paid someone who did and they always dutifully reported back to him

soap just keeps his eyes forward. just keeps driving and driving, lost to the road and numb until the low gas light pops up on the dash and it all hits him at once

he turns into a gas station he can't pay for, in a car he stole, and parks behind it and his baby immediately starts getting fussy

he can't even call him by his name sometimes; too afraid to get attached, too afraid to lose him. as if he doesn’t love him more than life itself

even throughout his pregnancy, as happy as he was to finally have a baby, he didn't know if he could carry to term and that fear just let his husband dig his claws in even deeper; paying for extra scans he could never hope to pay for, favours on top of favours so he would aways owe him and isn’t he such a loving husband? taking soap in when his parents kicked him out for being trans, looking after him for all these years? you can’t even take care of yourself john, you’d still be a woman without me, john, what is this tantrum about john-

soap tugs his shirt up to let his baby feed, drops his head back and cries

he can't stop it; wails loud and uncontrolled, chest heaving with his sobs enough that it sways his baby, occasionally breaking his latch and he can't even do this right-

he can't save him

a light knock sounds on the window and soap flinches, curling over his baby to protect him from his huband's cruel hands

but it's not his husband outside the window

soap blinks tears from his eyes and looks at the large stranger standing beside the car. a neck gaiter covers his mouth and it should be off-putting… but something about him stops the feeling in its tracks. the stranger takes a half-step back and lifts a chilled and sealed water bottle, pressing it towards the window

soap quickly swipes his face clean and rolls down the window. "sorry 'bout that," he apologises with a choked laugh, the careful front he’s built over the years cracked and bleeding

the stranger gives a dismissive but somehow not diminishing shrug. "long day?" he asks

"could say that," he gives a shrug of his own and pats his baby's back as he makes a disgruntled noise, unconsciously swaying him

he politely keeps his gaze up on his face. "looks like you could use a break."

soap's breath hitches, anxiously darting his tongue out over his bottom lip. "could say that," he repeats uselessly and takes the water with a quiet “thanks,”; his throat dry and screaming for it after crying so hard

the stranger hums, watching him down the bottle and soap doesn’t notice his eyes drifting to the backseat and footwell of the passenger side. doesn’t notice the slight tension in his fists at what he sees. "how long you been runnin', lad?"

soap freezes, the water settling in his stomach like a stone. he swallows thickly and the bottle falls from his lips

"not long enough."

the stranger just nods, looking idly back down the highway

"you know, this place is connected to a garage,” he starts, nodding back to a building attached to the station without taking his eyes off the road. “lotta people drift through 'ere on road trips; too many to keep track.”

soap frowns slightly, shifting his hold on his baby

“funny thing is, plenty of 'em just abandon their car when they break down. like yours,” he adds and finally turns back to him with a pointed look. “got a whole junkyard of 'em. just rustin' away. be pretty easy to convince me to trade ya one."

soap’s mouth parts in a gasp as he realises just what the stranger’s saying. "how easy?" he whispers

he shrugs and even with his face hidden beneath the gaiter, he doesn’t feel afraid. "i'd say this car'd be a good deal. would blend right in with the rest of ‘em; no one’d ever notice it. what say i take it off your hands?"

soap's breath shudders out of him, his whole body going limp with relief. his baby's eyes fall shut with a satisfied hum and for the first time he can remember, he feels the gentle touch of hope

"i think we can work something out."

🧼💀

ghost owns the service station soap pulled into. he wanted something quiet and isolated after he retired and you can’t get much quieter than a backwoods servo surrounded by forest. he hasn’t had anyone pull in in days so he’s quick to notice soap’s car. he’s also quick to notice soap's subsequent breakdown in one of the cameras. the sight of him crying, desperately clutching a baby like they’re all he has left in the world, is so familiar he felt sick with it

he knows someone running when he sees it

if he didn't check on him, if this lad disappeared one day and the baby along with him, he'd never forgive himself. the lad doesn't even have a baby bag or car seat with him, and the personalised sticker on the back window of a lady and a dog is a dead giveaway that the car is stolen

but the lad is terrified. and when he startled him, he didn't turn. didn’t lift his arms to protect himself. no

he covered his baby

like he was afraid he'd be hurt

that's enough for ghost

🧼💀

i'd wanna set this in the 80's or 90's, just to make it even harder for soap to get away from his husband. he's a trans man with a newborn; he has no one to run to and no resources to help him. his husband's bought and paid for everything for him since he was 17; a few whirlwind weeks of unbelievable dates and extravagant gifts and he was living in his mansion, getting married the day after his 18th birthday. he thought it was love. thought he was being looked after and cared for the way he’s always wanted

he was in pain and alone and naive enough to believe the first person who came along and promised to make it better. nothing's in his name, not his insurance or his meds, he doesn’t have a bank account or savings; other than a birth certificate, nothing even ties him to his baby. his husband could take his world away from him with a snap of his fingers and he made sure soap always knew it

he never had a chance of getting away

but ghost is ex-military

he doesn’t know the lad’s story, doesn’t know the details of what he’s running from. he doesn’t need to know

he decided he was helping him the second he pulled into his service station

[thechibilitwick]

i’ve been so obsessed with this song lately someone save me

[swampybogg]

[crow-n-tell]

Why is it that scratches, cracks and divots are so much fun? They are so simple to do but whenever I add them to a background i immediately feel like I’ve peaked as an artist

Anyway, some moodlighting and perspective practice with future tiding over stuff

[ito-itonomen]

it's all fun and games until "prim proper, prissy Lily" Clawthorne reaches her breaking point and busts out the *Fun* cuss words she learned from spending 30 odd years in a military cult and shows her nibblings the stick and poke tattoos hidden up her sleeves that she did herself in barrack on the shoulder at nineteen

[ratatatastic]

very good friends who have absolutely nothing going on except their deep platonic relationship that has everyone in the room never question if they're dating :)

[zipquips]

okay but the fact that dragon age veilguard has those little clarifying pop ups that tell you what conversations mean is so funny but also so appreciated for those of us with autism (me!)

[pokimoko]

Hello!! I came across a couple of your animals with pride flags series (idk what you're actually calling it lol) and I wanted to request an intersex blue-ringed octopus (I'm not intersex myself tho lol, just thought it might look neat)

Oooh, this was a fun one! Thank you for the request! 🐙

[aardvaark]

even though i know the leverage team gets back together as soon as season 2 starts and we barely see any time of them being apart, it makes me unreasonably upset that they not only spent six months apart, but that they didn't know they'd all join back up eventually!! like wdym hardison spent months trying and failing to track down parker?? wdym parker gained a family and then spent half a year alone again?? wdym eliot had found a way to do some good or have some kind of purpose until it was suddenly over?? wdym nate & sophie had finally caught up with each other but came to realize that neither of them were in a place to have that relationship and spent months not knowing if that had been their last chance??

[peachssodapop]

some LU doodles based on lately the HW Link and Young Link relationship has been taking up all my brain functions, Jojo's Wild design, and I was thinking about the mermaid tail from Oracle of Ages I think it's really cute he's like a fish

[aldiwali]

NAMI & VIVI - CH 128: "THE FLAG KNOWN AS PRIDE"

without skintone changes:

original for comparison: