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#hibernated for six months
aleksanderscult · 3 months
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Was Aleksander power-hungry or wanted power to use it for the protection of his people?
This question is one of the most hotly debatable in this fandom and I decided to clear this out not by analyzing his words through the POV of other characters (who don't believe him and therefore the reader finds him a liar) but through his own perspective in "Rule of Wolves".
So let's take an objective look inside his own thoughts and find out.
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His very first thoughts were how could he reclaim his powers, describing the whole experience as somewhat painful and confusing to him. His second were about Alina.
And these are his third ones. He explains how utterly worthless Nikolai and Zoya are to save Ravka. How immature and weak. Aleksander finds himself to be the only one able for this task. His powers, experience and general abilities are testament to that.
But note how he calls Ravka "his country". From the carved woods decorating his bedroom to his knowledge of "every pebble and branch" of it, this country is special to him. He loves it, feels a connection to it and wants to protect it.
(You just can't call the Darkling "unpatriotic")
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He displays bitterness for his loss and Ravka's new state just verifies to him that his plans would only prevent this decaying fate.
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Yuri: "Sankta Alina who gave her life for Ravka"
Aleksander: "Am I a joke to you?"
And indeed is he?
Aleksander displays a very strong resentment for the lack of recognition he has gained. His statement: "I gave my life for Ravka" probably doesn't only allude to his death from Alina's hands but also his total commitment in the protection of the Grisha and Ravka that lasted for centuries. He gave his life away by pushing his personal happiness and well-being aside and wholly dedicating his life and skills to a selfless goal. He wasted years, allies, soldiers, endured otkazat'sya Kings that rule him, a bitter mother and his own immortality only for others to hurriedly erase any memory of him once he's gone.
So it seems that his desire to be seen only stems from his long-awaited and secret wish for his actions to be recognized.
Based on the last screenshot, he views his actions as justified not because of a "power-hungry nature" but out of his efforts to help others. Whether these actions are justified or not depends on the reader.
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I believe this is one of the most concrete evidence that Aleksander truly cared about the Grisha.
He felt intense anger for those who were ignorant and apathetic towards the Grisha's fate and he himself cared about who was gonna sit the Ravkan throne.
No matter how much humanity he shed as the years passed, it seems that he didn't shed all of it by the time of these books.
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Apparently Aleksander had two main goals in this book:
- To protect his people and country as he always strived to do.
- For others to finally give him some credit and have their acknowledgment that yes, he has done something for this country all these years.
In order to help the Grisha and change their fates he needed to be in a position of strength, hence his desire to take the throne. He views himself as a fatherly figure towards his people. A protector and guardian.
But he also wants to become a Saint and king. For people to look up to him. So many Saints had done less than half in comparison to Aleksander and they still won people's love. Now it's his turn and he thinks he deserves it.
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I'm adding a short parenthesis here.
His concern didn't only extent to the Grisha but to his blind, otkazat'sya followers as well.
He cared about what would happen in the battlefield and seemed ready to create nichevo'ya to protect them. Merzost is extremely painful but this "selfish" villain is ready to use it to protect his naive but innocent army.
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A hundred of years ago Aleksander refused the King's gold as payment for his services. Instead he opted to plead for the construction of a palace. A home and haven for all the Grisha that were hiding out of fear from the persecution against them.
He saw his chance and took it to make the lives of his people a little better.
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So this whole "the Darkling created the Fold out of his desire for power" was bullshit after all.
He wanted power but only to use it to end the wars. Ironically, the result of it (aka. the Fold) only aggravated the problem.
And the Darkling's dream never came entirely true. He gave them a home but never a safe life. Ravka was almost always at war, Grisha were never accepted, the Ravkan kings never paid much attention to the Grisha's problems regarding their role in society which placed them almost at the bottom of the food chain.
All these things worried Aleksander and pushed him to action both when he created the Fold and when he started the Civil War.
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The Darkling has a very different mentality than those who don't have the burden of immortality on their shoulders.
Aleksander uses time as an advantage and has a remarkable patience. He bides his time and strikes when he sees the opportunity, leaving other people to die since they're only just a part of a whole. He probably thinks: "Well, I'll meet plenty more new otkazat'sya in the future so why should I be concerned for this bunch here?"
But the bleak future of the Grisha make him stop and think. They're the only reason why he stays and fight and why he proclaimed Zoya a Saint.
So it's obvious that Aleksander only used power for the benefit of his people and country.
- When king Yevgeni offered him a handsome reward, Aleksander turned it down and chose to appeal for a better future for the rest of the Grisha.
- When the wars didn't stop coming and Grisha were again getting killed, he tried to use merzost to augment his powers and put a stop to it.
- When he tried to use the Fold as a weapon with Alina at his side, he did it to place Ravka in a stronger position in comparison to his enemies.
- He viewed Nikolai and Zoya dangerous to the rest of the country.
- He was concerned of what would happen to the Grisha if Demidov became king.
- He was determined to save Ravka and lead it as their king and protector.
- Even though he thought of leaving, he stayed out of concern for the Grisha (again).
Contrary to the people who say that the Darkling began selfless but by the time of these books became selfish, it seems that he never lost his selflessness. He still kept thinking about others and his last moments he was unrepentant for his crimes since he did them for others not for himself. It's true that he had pride and an ego but rightfully so. No one else was as powerful or as capable as him to make a change and, honestly, no one else made a decent effort but him.
He also displayed a strong bitterness for the fact that others were so quick to forget him and his actions. He felt wronged that after all he had done, none wanted to acknowledge his own part in the protection of Ravka. He wanted to be seen and appreciated. His anger and indignation came from a place of injustice as he saw it. Whatever he did was labeled as wrong and people only feared him, never feeling gratefulness or love towards him. The Darkling wanted others to give him his due for what he went through, did and tried to do. Recognition after so many years of feeling invisible and hated.
It was something that even his enemies admitted about him:
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The strongest evidence of his yearning to shield his country is how he willingly gave his life for it at the end. He would be tortured forever but at least his people wouldn't forget him and he would have fulfilled his desired role as a protector of his country.
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firstwcman · 2 months
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⛧ — and good morning.
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oldscythe · 2 years
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herakles by euripides (tr. anne carson) / spy x family, episode 2 / essays in love by alain de botton / spy x family, episode 9 / “animals” by frank o’hara / spy x family, episode 9 / eurydice by sarah ruhl / the lovers ii, 1928 by rene magritte / eleanor (stinkytofubaby) on instagram 
“Loid—Twilight—ugh,” she groans, fussing with her hair. “We’re already in harm’s way. You said it yourself, protecting our family is more important. If Garden’s figured it out by now, it goes beyond the two of us. Think about Anya, think about our baby girl; where does she fit into all of this? If something happens to one of us—”
“Nothing,” he interrupts firmly, “will happen to either of us. I’ll make sure of it.”
Anya Forger will not be made an orphan twice over.
“Then let me do my part in this,” Yor says. She stares at the floor as she says this next part, like she knows it’s the sound of a key unlocking a cage. “I’m your wife after all.”  — from until we run out of mornings 
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temporary-dysphoria · 2 years
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it is done.
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so what do you do when you feel like it’s 130° celsius every where you go no matter what you do
#and you feel like you want to punch someone in the face for singing Fight Song in a baby voice#and every surface you see has four to twenty random somewhat sticky items spewed across it#and you can smell tomato raisin chicken and you hate chicken#and you feel like you want to throw up#or hibernate for three months#and your sisters keep promising to be quiet and then they start sCrEaMiNG and StOmPiNG#and your littlest sister can walk into a room and it immediately becomes coated in syrup and four week old laundry stench#and you haven’t had water or food in six hours except for a gross peanut butter sandwich on squishy white bread#and your middle sister keeps whining like an immature sports bro from sixth grade#and you keep hearing random music from 2015 that’s way too loud and has a singer who’s off beat#and your room—the only safe place in your entire house—is SIXTY THOUSAND DEGREES WITH FOUR THOUSAND PERCENT HUMIDITY#and your nails keep randomly breaking over and over again and catching on your hair and your clothes and your skin and furniture and tissue#and you’re wearing black flares and a black t shirt and you keep thinking your mom thinks you’re depressed#and your black t shirt is new but it’s two sizes too big in a really awful way#and that annoying bar that suggests tags keeps popping up over what you’re writing#and you’re hair feels too thick and too curtly and unbrushable and ugly#and your insides feel like you’re on fire and being torn limb from limb#and everything is too loud#anyone have any suggestions for me#pls#leah’s lost thoughts#leah wastes time#sorry this is just a rant for no reason
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trobeds · 2 years
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wait the next toh ep is coming out in 2023
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interludebloom · 8 months
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hesitating between buying a pack of cigarettes or k myself. that's where i am at :)
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hexaplex-trunculus · 8 months
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Grocery shopping is a ridiculous concept like no I do not want to subscribe to life this is why I have thirty-one tins under my bed and could probably survive the apocalypse without leaving my house. Only flaw is that if civilisation is gone I'm not sure the point in sticking around, for what, avoiding zombies? I am good thank you, I'm ready to join the undead and become part of the problem.
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schmackarys · 1 year
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It’s almost hockey season ❤️
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Imagine if people only worked six months out of the year. Half the people would be winter workers who choose to grind through the dark months and then chill and play during the summer, and half of the people would be ones who would rather work through the warm season and then rest and hibernate in peace over the winter, more or less free to choose whichever you like.
There would be families with a strong identity about which season they work in, and people who say that someone "has only ever worked one season" as a way to imply that someone isn't adventurous by nature. There would be parents who agree to take turns working opposite seasons, so one of them can always be at home with the kids, and old folks who lament that their adult children and niblings were Forced By Circumstance to work opposite seasons from them, while the youths in question welcome the work as an excuse to avoid these inconvenient relatives.
You never know if the construction worker up at 6 am in the summer spends their winters writing murder mysteries, or if the winter shift librarian spends their summer cultivating a rare breed of heirloom apples. Or simply meditating, observing nature, living quietly and baking bread. Asking someone "what do you do in your free season?" tells as much, if not more, about the person than "what do you do for a living?" And nobody answers "nothing". Everyone can think of something that they want to do, perhaps not productive, but still enlightening, constructive and cultivating.
Nobody who is in full health and well rested can stand spending half of the year simply doing absolutely nothing.
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i have to actually like wake up tommorow how crazy of a concept is that, like wdym i can't hibernate until spring???
its so cold right now that my unexistent balls have shriveled back up into my body
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likeumeanit9497 · 2 months
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loyalty test | c.s. |
chris sturniolo x fem! reader
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summary: y/n's boyfriend, luke, notices how she stares at his roommate, chris. when they have an argument about it, y/n tells him that he's just reading into things. but when she finds herself completely alone with chris, will she be able to prove her loyalty?
warnings: smut; cheating (don't do this pls); unprotected p in v (don't do this either); oral (m/f receiving); hair pulling; dirty talk; toxic relationships; 18+
notes: IM BACK YAY!!!! y'all have no idea how happy i am to be writing again i was literally dying for the past couple of months. i got back about a week ago but i've been genuinely so jet lagged that i couldn't finish this one shot. but im finally starting to feel better so here i am at 2am finally posting. i hope y'all enjoy this one (ps it should go without saying that i do NOT condone cheating on ur partners EVER!!! this is fiction okay). love uuuuuu
pps im half asleep posting this so even though i made an attempt at proof reading, im sure this is not my best work so pls try to ignore any grammar errors u may come across ill fix them all eventually <3
ᵕᵕᵕᵕ୨♡︎୧ᵕᵕᵕᵕ
“How many shots am I pouring here?” Asked my boyfriend Luke as I watched him begin to place rows of shot glasses on his kitchen counter with a bottle of tequila in his hand before his teammates all began flooding in his direction happily awaiting their drinks. From my place on the couch, I was content watching them all celebrate their big win while I nursed one or two seltzers. The night was originally supposed to be just me and Luke having dinner and watching a movie, but the adrenaline from the win along with pleas from various teammates had suddenly turned the night into one where Luke’s apartment was flooded with sweaty men and various bottles of liquor.
Even though I had been looking forward to a quiet evening with my boyfriend of six months, I was happy to see him so happy and of course wanted him to be able to celebrate with everyone. So I watched with a smile as they all lifted their shot glasses in the air, chanted in a borderline cultish way, and took their shots. “Shit, it’s getting late. We should call the Ubers soon if we want to get into the club.” Luke announced after glancing at his watch, to which the other guys all mumbled in agreement.
I watched as Luke walked over to my place on the couch, putting his hands on my shoulders and leaning towards me. “Club?” I asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow as this was the first time I was hearing about these plans for the night. Luke smirked before responding. “You don’t mind if we go out for a little bit right? The other guys were really wanting to check that new place out that I’ve been going to lately, and as team captain I kinda have to go.” I stayed silent, trying to figure out a way to answer that wouldn’t make me sound like a needy girlfriend, when my attention was suddenly grabbed by the door behind Luke opening. From that room came Luke’s roommate, Chris, and I watched over Luke’s shoulder as he ruffled his hair, heading in the direction of the bustling kitchen.
My eyes followed his movements as he walked, stopping every few seconds to greet a handful of Luke’s teammates on his way. He was wearing pyjamas, and truly looked like he had just woken up from hibernation, but he gave the room warm smiles as his eyes travelled across it before finally landing on me. He stared at mine and Luke’s place for a brief moment, his eyes shifting between me on the couch and Luke’s large frame above me, and seemed curious, but after a moment went back to doing whatever he needed to do in the kitchen.
I continued to watch as he grabbed a drink from the fridge, and listened as some of the guys tried to convince him to go out with them. He kept shaking his head, a strong smile plastered across his face, and I felt my cheeks grow hot when he lifted his shirt slightly to scratch his stomach; exposing a few inches of skin and the low band of his boxers.
Just then, I was shaken — quite literally — out of my trance by Luke’s hand on my shoulder. “Y/n! Hello!” My eyes immediately shot to his, and I felt red hot shame cover my face as anger consumed his. “The fuck was that?” He kept his voice low, but his tone was so menacing that I felt the hair raise on the back of my neck. I stuttered, trying to come up with some excuse, before he lifted me off of the couch and practically dragged me into his bedroom. As soon as the door was shut behind us, he repeated himself. “What the fuck was that Y/n.” I stood tentatively in the middle of his room, trying desperately to find the words. “I-I just hadn’t realized that Chris was home, I was just shocked I guess?” I knew my excuse was weak — and my execution was even weaker — and that knowledge was confirmed by Luke rolling his eyes.
“Sure,” He scoffed. “I’m not stupid, Y/n. I notice it literally every single time you and him are in the same room. You stare at him, you laugh at everything he says, and you always find some excuse to be close to him.” His words embarrassed me, and I stared down at my feet in shame because I knew they were true. “It’s not like that Luke I just-” He cut off my excuse. “It doesn’t take a fucking rocket scientist to know that he’s a good looking guy, but you are mine. It’s fuckin embarrassing catching you looking at him all the time.” He stopped pacing around the room and stormed up to me, causing me to flinch slightly.
“You have anything you wanna say?” His breath was hot against my ashamed face, and I couldn’t bear to look up at him. “I-I’m sorry Luke.” My voice was barely above a whisper and I felt tears well up in my eyes. We stood there in silence for a short while, the only sound his heaving breaths and the muffled conversations from the guys in the kitchen. “I’m going. Not sure when I’ll be back, but do your best to behave when I’m gone.” His words were clipped, and he quickly exited his bedroom without so much as hugging me.
As soon as I heard his door shut behind him, I dissolved into tears of guilt. I couldn’t be upset at him for being so angry with me, because everything that he had accused me of was true. I knew that my attraction to Chris was beyond the simple acknowledgement that he was a good looking person, and that wasn’t fair to Luke. But I never meant for it to become something so noticeable, and I felt more ashamed than I had ever been before. I perched onto the edge of Luke’s bed as I attempted to regain my composure, listening to the excited chatter of the guys on the other side of the door as they prepared to head out to the club.
I hated that Luke was going out while being angry at me, and I hated even more that I had the audacity to be worried about his behaviour with other girls while he was out. Luke was a pretty decent guy, but when he was angry he had a tendency to do or say things that were really hurtful. The thought of this made me sob even harder. “God, I need a drink.” I said aloud to the empty room, and I fought with my emotions as I tried to straighten myself up.
After a few moments, the entire apartment grew silent as the guys must have all left for the club. In my solitude, I was able to catch my breath and stop the tears from flowing before getting back on my feet. Glancing at my reflection in the mirror, I wiped the dried tears from my face and fixed my running mascara before heading towards the bedroom door. As I walked towards the kitchen, I was stopped in my tracks by the sight of Chris sitting at the kitchen island.
Even after the horrible conversation I had just had with Luke, I felt my stomach flip at the sight of his loose t-shirt clad back and his messy curls. Frustrated with myself, I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath before continuing in his direction to grab a drink. “Hey Y/n.” He said once he saw me, a warm smile covering his face. “Hey Chris.” I replied, forcing myself to avoid looking at him by searching aimlessly for another seltzer.
“Everything okay?” He asked, and I felt myself tense at his question as I finally used common sense and opened the fridge to find a cold drink. “Yeah all good. Luke and I just had a little bit of an argument is all.” I replied, trying to keep my voice light hearted and hoping he hadn’t noticed my puffy eyes or runny nose. “Ah, I see.” He replied as I bent over to reach into the back of the fridge where I saw the last seltzer. “Would that argument have anything to do with him asking me to make a move on you to see if you would stay loyal?” His question shocked me so severely that I dropped the seltzer on the ground, causing it to explode its carbonated contents all over the kitchen floor.
“Shit!” I exclaimed, picking up the cracked can and throwing it into the sink. Turning back around to face the mess, I found Chris with a roll of paper towel wiping up the liquid. “I got it, thank you.” I said, getting down onto my knees to begin cleaning up. Chris handed me the paper towel before standing up and leaning his frame against the counter. The room was silent as I compulsively wiped away at the floor, using the task as a distraction from the question Chris had just asked me. I felt his gaze on me from above, and all it did was add fuel to the fire that was burning hazardously strong inside of me.
After some time, I realized that the floor couldn’t get much cleaner so I had to put an end to my procrastination and face the conversation. “So, uh,” I hesitantly looked up at Chris through my lashes, feeling more ashamed than ever before. “What did Luke say to you exactly?” I watched as he shrugged. “He really didn’t say much. He just pulled me to the side right before they all headed out and asked me to ‘test you’.” He added air quotes to the end of his sentence, and I felt a small sizzle of anger in my core at Luke’s audacity.
I stood up and grabbed the half finished bottle of tequila from the counter, pouring it into a cup and adding a bit of pineapple juice before drinking the whole thing in one sip. At this, Chris raised an eyebrow. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?” He asked, and I felt nerves flood my body. “Give me a second.” I replied, grabbing the tequila again but this time taking one, two, three sips directly from the bottle. I winced at the burn that traveled from my throat down to my stomach, and Chris waited in silence as I squeezed my eyes shut; taking deep breaths in preparation.
“Long story short,” I began, turning my body so that I was now facing Chris, “Luke confronted me tonight because he caught me staring at you.” I watched as Chris’ eyes widened slightly before going back to normal. “I told him that I just hadn’t known that you were home so I was just surprised to see you, but he didn’t believe me, and it sort of caused this big fight between us.” I explained, feeling my nerves flutter around my stomach; shocked that I was able to tell him what had happened. Chris stayed silent, his eyes searching my face but staying completely unreadable and I felt like my chest might explode from nerves.
“I mean, obviously he’s just being insecure but-” My rambling was cut off then by Chris. “Is he?” His question caught me off guard, and my eyes snapped to his as I felt my face fall. A small smirk toyed with the corner of his mouth as I stared at him blankly, unsure of what I could even say. After a moment, I blinked quickly and scoffed. “Ah I see, this is the test.” I chuckled and reached once again for the tequila before taking a few more sips; this interaction being far too much for me.
“No, it was a real question, I swear.” Chris repositioned his body so that he was now facing me head on, and took a step closer to me. “You think I haven’t noticed you looking at me? And I’m not just talking about tonight. I notice, Y/n.” Once again, all of my words failed me and I could only stare blankly at his questioning figure. “And don’t think I forgot about that one night.” I gasped and instinctively squeezed my eyes shut, already knowing where he was going with this.
“Just out there, when we were sharing that cigarette,” He nudged his head in the direction of the sliding glass doors in the living room that led to their large balcony, “We were drunk, but I remember you blowing the smoke into my mouth.” I felt him take another step closer to me; the heat radiating from his body causing my own to shudder. “Your lips touched mine, Y/n. I can still remember how soft they were.” His voice seemed to drop an octave, and he was whispering now as he spoke of that night five months ago, when I met him for the first time.
Luke had wanted me to meet his friends, so a big group of us had all gone to a bar together. Although I don’t usually make it a habit, I got extremely drunk that night thanks to the nerves that came from meeting a large group of new people, and ended up wanting to go home early. Luke was still having a good time and didn’t want to leave the bar with me, so Chris had offered to take me back to their apartment where Luke could meet us later. Once the two of us had made it back to the apartment, I asked Chris to sit with me while I smoked out on the balcony.
We talked for a while, learning about each others’ lives, while we shared a few cigarettes. What he was now talking about had happened, and I truly don’t know what came over me when I had done it, but I had spent the past five months trying to pretend that it was just a dream. But now, standing alone in the kitchen, we were talking about it for the first time since it happened, and I couldn’t ignore the flutter in my stomach that his hushed tone caused.
As if reading my mind, he continued. “I know we haven’t spoken about it, and maybe we should have sooner. But we haven’t been alone together once since then.” I stared blankly as he took yet another step towards me; closing the space between us almost entirely. My heart was beating so hard that I was sure that he could hear it, but once he placed a gentle hand on my hip I was pulled back to reality; immediately taking a few steps away from him while shaking my head.
“This is crazy,” I made a weak attempt at laughter as I backed away from him, “I don’t know how you expect me to fail this ‘test’ that Luke put you up to after literally telling me all about it.” I suddenly grew slightly hot with anger after reminding myself of Luke’s request to him, and the alcohol that was beginning to flood my veins wasn’t making it any easier to get over. I turned away from Chris, busying myself by starting to throw away the empty beer bottles, when he continued.
“I never told you that I agreed to do it.”
I froze, his words causing my fuzzy brain to turn onto high alert. Slowly, I turned to face him, more confused than ever before. He was leaning casually against the countertop still, with a small smirk across his lips. Noticing the confusion laced through my features, he shrugged before expanding. “I told him I don’t do that kind of shit, that if there was an issue between you two you’d have to work it out between yourselves.” None of his explanation was making things make sense, if anything I was just becoming more and more confused.
“Then what was all that just a minute ago?” I asked weakly, nervous to hear his explanation. Again, there was that dangerous smirk that I would have almost missed if my eyes weren’t glued to him in desperation for things to make sense. “That was real.” He replied simply, and my jaw almost dropped in utter shock. “Chris, he’s your roommate. You guys are friends, aren’t you?” My stomach was in knots, and my cheeks felt hot. He shook his head solemnly, “He’s not a good guy, Y/n.” As if I could read his mind, I knew what he meant without him even having to say anything else. But still, he continued.
“Why do you think he never ever asks you to go out with him to clubs anymore?” Chris asked, his voice taking on a gentle tone as if that would minimize the hurt of what I knew was coming. Weakly, I shrugged, too afraid to ask him to continue but hoping beyond anything else that he would. He sighed. “Apparently there’s this bottle girl that works at that new club that they’ve been going to lately.” My stomach dropped, but somehow I wasn’t surprised. Painfully, Chris continued. “I overheard him talking about her to one of the guys a few weeks ago. Something about going to her place after she finished her shift that night.”
At that, a single tear fell down my cheek. Not out of shock, or even sadness, but anger. “I’m sorry, Y/n.” Chris said at nearly a whisper, and I simply nodded my head; jaw clenched to keep myself from losing my cool. “W-why didn’t you say anything to me before?” I finally managed to ask, crossing my arms over my chest to hide my shaking hands. That same look of shame he had before confessing to me clouded his face once again. “I didn’t want to be the one to hurt you.” One more lonely tear fell down my cheek, and I angrily swiped it away.
“I see how much you do for him around here, and it’s obvious that you love him.” He took a step towards me, tentatively, before continuing. “But I also see the way he treats you, and you don’t deserve that.” He paused for a moment, seemingly trying to find his next words. “I honestly never really liked the guy. Sure we’re roommates, but only out of convenience. Once I overheard that conversation a few weeks ago, I started genuinely hating the guy. So, when he asked me to test you tonight, it actually gave me a good idea.”
He paused for a moment, and once again I felt my heart racing in anticipation. His usually confident expression had shifted into one of hesitation, and it did nothing to help calm my nerves. “Chris…” I started, trying to get him to continue. I watched as he took a deep breath before speaking once again. “Okay. I’m going to suggest something to you, but it’s only a suggestion. If you don’t want to do it, we can 100% pretend that this conversation never happened, and you can decide how you’re going to handle all of this in your own way.” I stayed silent, trying to wait as patiently as possible for him to get to his point.
“I think you should get back at him.” He said, finally. Still confused, I raised an eyebrow. “Get back at him? How?” I asked, to which he stayed silent. In his silence, I found my answer. “You think I should…with you?” Even to my own ears, my voice sounded weak. He stayed silent, not granting me a response with words but the small glint in his blue eyes told me enough. “Do you really think that’s the most ethical option?” I asked, trying to use what little logic I had available in my brain fizzling not just from the alcohol now but from the very situation I was finding myself in.
He shrugged again. “I know guys like him. There’s no point in confronting him about it, because you know he’s just gonna lie to your face. And if you break up with him — which I hope you do, by the way — he’s really not going to care as much as he should.” Trying to ignore the twinge of hurt that his last point caused, I nodded slowly; beginning to understand. “But if you do him the way he’s been doing you, that’s gonna fuck him up. And the best part is he doesn’t even have any right to be pissed off, because all you’re doing is exactly what he’s been doing to you.” As he spoke, I nodded my head; absorbing everything he said and recognizing it as truth.
“I mean I get it but…don’t you think us doing it would be a bad idea?” I used my hand to gesture between us. “Considering him and I literally just fought about this very situation less than an hour ago?” His smirk returned at this. “That’s my point. No other scenario has the potential to hurt him the way that ours does. You want to get back at him? I’m your guy.” A laugh that sounded almost painful fell from my lips at this, but as his face suddenly grew serious, so did mine.
“Plus,” He began, closing the space between us so that our bodies were nearly touching. I stared at him, fallen completely mute, as he brought his thumb to my lower lip — brushing it ever so lightly against my pouted mouth — before he continued, “I haven’t stopped thinking about this mouth since you left me on the balcony that night.” His voice was nearly at a whisper, and it didn’t take anymore than that for my walls to crash down.
Without hesitation, I pressed my lips to his. The kiss was soft, tentative, and gentle; our unsure mouths slowly moving against one another a physical representation of the wavering confidence in my decision. But the taste of his skin was addictive, and the feeling of his firm grasp on my waist caused my body to grow warm. So with each second, my cautious movements turned more and more desperate, and when his tongue brushed against my lower lip I opened my mouth to grant it entrance. I melted into his strong hands like putty, so when he lifted me by my ass with ease and placed me on the counter, my legs wrapped around his waist like they belonged there.
Each part of me he touched lit on fire in his trail, and as his mouth dropped lazily to my neck where he began nibbling and biting the thin skin below my ear, the very existence of Luke seemed to disappear from my thoughts — with only one word repeatedly crossing my mind: Chris, Chris, Chris.
With my spinning head, I almost didn’t notice myself being gently pushed back so that I was lying against the cold surface of the counter. Chris’ mouth was still sucking indulgently against my neck, but I felt his strong hands run up and down my bare legs; stopping just below the hemline of my shorts. I felt his hands begin to toy with my front button, and I removed my hands from the base of his curls to help him pull them down; desperate to feel his hands on my skin again.
Once the material of my shorts were dropped to the floor, I felt Chris tauntingly play with the lace of my underwear as his mouth slowly moved down my neck towards my chest. Wearing only a big t-shirt, I used my idle hands to pull the material up over my chest; exposing my breasts to Chris who immediately took one into his mouth. I moaned at the sensation of his warm tongue swirling around my nipple, and felt a dangerous shudder go down my spine once he groaned against my skin.
His hands were still flirting with my underwear, and the almost-but-not-quite contact with my core was making me go almost delirious, so in my impatience I grabbed his hand and pressed his long fingers against the place I needed him the most. The contact caused a moan to fall from my lips just as a pleased grunt fell from his. “So wet for me already, hmm?” His voice had dropped nearly a whole octave through his arousal, and his words caused even more heat to flood to my core.
In one quick motion, he slipped my thong down my legs and let it fall to the floor as his hand began exploring my slippery folds. A shocked moan burst through my lips from the relief of his touch finally against my bare heat, and as he began to rub circles into my clit, I began losing myself to the ripples of pleasure radiating from my centre down to my limbs.
His travelling mouth continued its journey from my tits down my stomach, leaving small kisses along the way. I watched in awe as his head descended along my body, feeling an unknown sensation of excitement from my view as he got closer and closer to where his fingers continued to work me. Once he reached the crest of my pelvis, he grabbed each of my legs and positioned them on his shoulders before leaning down and admiring my dripping core.
“W-what are you doing?” I asked, my voice shaking partially from nerves but mostly from the sheer adrenaline that was coursing through my veins. He dragged his eyes from my cunt up to meet my face and gave me a soft smile. “Gonna make you feel good. Is that okay with you?” His voice was still hoarse from arousal, but there was a playful tone in it that calmed my heaving chest. “Luke never…” I trailed off my sentence and his eyebrows flew up in surprise. “Never?” He asked, seeming to be completely shocked, and I shook my head. “He said he thinks it’s gross.” I confessed, suddenly feeling more exposed by my words than I had felt by my nakedness. At this, Chris’ eyes somehow darkened and softened simultaneously. “He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.” He replied, bending down further so that he could place a soft kiss against my clit, “There’s nothing gross about this; about you.”
His words were said with such sincerity, such certainty, that I felt a small flutter in my chest. However, this feeling was abruptly interrupted by a much stronger feeling — a feeling of indescribable pleasure — once Chris attached his mouth to my clit. As he feverishly sucked and twirled his tongue expertly around my bundle of nerves, my vision became blurry and all I could see was a flash of bright light. When my vision returned, the sight before me caused the pleasure I was feeling to intensify so severely that, had my hips not been held firmly in place, I would have slipped to the floor as aimlessly as my underwear had just moments before.
There, right in the centre of my legs, was Chris. His generally messy curls even more disheveled than normal framing his face in the perfect way that it does; his already sharp cheekbones accentuated by his sucking; his bright pink lips wrapped tightly around me making me feel things I had never felt before; and his piercing blue eyes staring right up at me — seeming to take in every facial expression, every gasp, every moan that I made.
Overwhelmed, my hands flew to his hair where I held on for dear life; wanting to pull his mouth away but absolutely needing it to keep going. The build up of pressure in the pit of my stomach was almost too much to handle, and as I trembled around his face he maintained every ounce of pressure; every movement of his performed with expert precision. “C-Chris. Oh god!” I couldn’t stop myself from crying out, as the pleasure was causing my mind to scramble. “Just like that, please.” I heard myself continue, shocked even in the moment as I had never once said those words and truly meant it.
Chris released a soft moan against my core at my words, and the vibration from it was enough to get me to the point of no return. “Gonna c-cum, p-please don’t stop.” I begged desperately, and he didn’t. Like a machine, his movements never wavered — he never changed his rhythm, nor did he try any new tricks. The consistency of his swirling tongue threw me into a shocking tidal wave of pleasure, and with shaking legs and an arched back I practically screamed out his name over and over; riding out my high with no thoughts in my mind but him.
Only when my moans subsided and my grip on his hair loosened did Chris detach his mouth from my nerves before climbing back up my body. Once he reached my face, he placed a gentle kiss on my lips; the slightly sweet taste of my orgasm still coating his lips. “See,” He began, looking deep into my eyes, “Nothing gross about that. As a matter of fact, I could do that all day.” I felt my stomach do a flip and my core once again flood with a new wave of arousal from his words, and I allowed him to kiss me once more; this one much deeper than the last.
As we kissed, Chris helped me sit up, and then finally stand up on shaky legs. Once I was stable, he pulled my t-shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor with the rest of my clothing before doing the same with his own. With his top half now fully exposed, I allowed myself to take a moment to admire his body — his creamy smooth skin; slight muscle; sprinkle of hair below his belly button — as he started untying the drawstring on his pants.
He removed his pyjamas and boxers in one swift motion, and my eyes immediately fell to his hard member. Its size was otherworldly, and the veins that were wrapped around it caused my mouth to water. Mindlessly, I dropped to my knees in front of him and took his cock in my hand, pumping it a few times and relishing in the weight of it against my palm. I took a moment to glance up at him, and I found him staring down at me as his chest rose and fell rapidly; his eyes almost glazed over in arousal.
Turning my attention back to his member, I leaned forward and ran my tongue up his slit to collect the bead of pre-cum that had been gleaning in the light. As my tongue connected to his skin, I felt, more than heard, him intake a sharp breath. Eager to make him feel even a fraction as good as he made me feel, I attached my mouth to his tip and began bobbing my head up and down; swirling my tongue around the base of his tip as I did. Immediately, Chris’ hands found my hair and he began collecting it into a ponytail to pull it away from my face. Small moans left his mouth occasionally, and each time it did I felt my core grow wetter and wetter.
I brought my right hand up to the base of his shaft, where I began pumping it up and down in rhythm with my mouth. “Oh fuck.” He groaned out, gripping onto the countertop behind me with his free hand. With each bob of my head and pump of my hand, Chris released small grunts; and I relished in the fact that he was feeling so good because of me. I continued at the same pace, trying to stay focused on what I was doing, but his pleasure was adding to my pleasure, and I selfishly pulled away from him — his cock springing out of my mouth with a pop — and looked up at him through my eyelashes.
“Need more of you Chris.” I admitted, my arousal overtaking any urge I had to be coy in that moment. At my confession, Chris’ blue eyes darkened, and he didn’t hesitate before lifting me from the ground and pressing my back against the counter. His lips found mine once again, and the taste of both of our arousals melted into one as our tongues danced together; creating an addicting combination that made me ache.
A gasp fell from my lips as I was suddenly turned around, my bare chest now pressing against the cold stone counter. Chris had one hand pressed to the small of my back, where he rubbed small comforting circles as I felt his other hand guide the tip of his cock towards my opening. “You know,” Chris leaned forward towards my ear, “I always had a feeling that you wanted me too,” He let just the very tip of his member rest in my opening, “But if I knew you needed me the way I’ve been needing you, I would have fucked you much sooner.”
At that, Chris slid his cock into me, its girth stretching out my walls unforgivingly. Both of us released groans as he bottomed out, and he paused for a moment to allow me to adjust to his size as I fought against my trembling legs. After a brief moment, I felt Chris grab both of my hips before he began to thrust into me. His movements were slow and careful, as if he knew I was struggling to take his size. “You’re so tight baby.” He breathed, and I released a soft moan from his words.
He continued to move at a slow but deep pace, and with each thrust I felt my walls envelope his member with grateful acceptance. I started to feel my body relax more and more, and began to feel the earliest signs of pressure in my lower stomach once again. With each of his movements, I adjusted to him more, and I suddenly needed more. “Harder, please C-Chris.” I cried out softly, and without a moment’s hesitation he began to pick up the pace. Still driving his cock deep into me, his hips began to slam against mine at a much faster rate; causing my body to flood with even more arousal.
“You like that baby?” He asked through his grunts, and I was only able to moan in response; too fucked out to respond with words as I was constantly slammed against the countertop. The kitchen was flooded with the slick sounds of my arousal, and it was the perfect harmony to the verbal sounds of pleasure that fell from our tongues. I felt one of Chris’ hands snake up my back to the base of my neck before he grabbed a fistful of my hair; using his grip on it to pull me up off of the counter. With my back now pressed tightly against his front, he turned my head to the side so that — through blurry vision — I was able to see him and he was able to see me.
His glossed over eyes were focused on my o-shaped mouth, and he just stared at me for what felt like centuries as he continued to drive himself into me. The intensity of the moment was so startling that, if I wasn’t approaching my second orgasm of the night, I would have been brought back down to earth. But at that moment, a strong wave of pleasure shot through my body and my eyes rolled to the back of my head. “You look so pretty, taking my cock so good Y/n. You feeling good?” I was barely able to nod my head in response as the pressure in my core began to feel overwhelming. “G-gonna cum again.” I managed to squeak out through high pitched moans that I hardly recognized as my own.
“Me too baby. Just hold on for me, wanna cum together.” His words were coming out strained just as mine were, and I felt his rhythm begin to grow choppier as his orgasm approached. Screwing my eyes shut, I fought against the raging urge to release all over him right then and there; wanting so badly to do what he said to do and wait for him. Luckily, it wasn’t long before I was interrupted from my focused state by a loud grunt behind me. “Fuck, gonna cum. Where do you want me Y/n?”
His words unraveled the last string of self-control I had, and I felt my legs begin to shake beneath me as I struggled to answer. “In m-me. Oh god, please.” I cried out just as my second orgasm tore through me; this one even stronger than the first. As the waves rolled through me and I released a plethora of guttural moans, I felt Chris’ hand on my jaw; grabbing my attention. As I opened my eyes to meet with his, I felt his movements stop almost entirely. His eyes had a far-away look and his jaw was clenched, but still he stared deep into my half-lidded eyes as I felt his member pulse deep in my core — painting my walls white with his cum.
Once all of our movements stopped and our breathing returned close to normal, I winced as he slowly pulled his length out of me. He turned me around gently, and I was met with a lazy smile and a soft kiss on my forehead. Still recovering, I was at a loss for words; and so we stayed silent as he first helped me get dressed and then dressed himself.
“Well,” He finally started, “Do you feel better?” I stared at him for a moment, confused by what he meant, before I at last remembered the events that had unfolded not long before. I released a soft chuckle as I reached for a nearby red solo cup to fill with water. “Would you think I’m a bad person if I told you that I actually forgot about the whole point of this until just now?” He laughed as I chugged the water before refilling the glass and handing it to him. “No, I wouldn’t. As a matter of fact I’d think that made this whole thing even better.” He replied before bringing the glass to his lips.
I laughed as I reached for my phone, turning it on and checking my notifications. “Oh shit.” My face fell and my stomach tied itself in a knot. “Luke texted me ten minutes ago saying that the club was a bust and he’s on his way back.” Even in my immediate panic, I scoffed. “That probably means she wasn’t working tonight, huh?” I felt Chris walk up behind me and peer over my shoulder at the text message. “You okay?” He placed a gentle hand on the small of my back, and I cursed myself once I felt my heart flutter at his comforting gesture. I nodded. “More than okay, honestly.” I turned around to face him, and before I could stop myself I reached up and kissed him softly. “But he’s gonna be back any minute, and we can’t be standing in the middle of the kitchen looking freshly fucked. Let’s move.”
𓆩♡𓆪
As promised, a few minutes later I heard the keys rattle at the front door — announcing Luke’s arrival. I was standing in the kitchen still — busying myself with washing the dirty glasses and wiping the sticky residue from the liquor, and possibly our cum, off of the counter — while Chris sat on the couch in the living room; pretending to be in the middle of a movie.
Once he walked through the door, Luke paused there a moment to take in the scene in front of him. He looked first at me, then at Chris; then me, then Chris. His expression was unreadable, like it usually was when he was drunk, and it did nothing to ease my racing heart. My mouth dried out, completely fearful that he knew exactly what had taken place just moments before right where I was standing. Did I have a hickey? Did the apartment smell like sex? Did my guilty face give it all away?
Finally, Luke moved from his place at the front door and walked right by me; heading directly for Chris on the couch. Still pretending to be busy drying and polishing the glassware, I secretly watched as they spoke to each other. With the tv still playing and their decision to speak in hushed tones, I was unable to hear what they were saying. But, I watched Chris as he shook his head no before Luke threw his hands up in exacerbation. They continued to speak to each other for a few more moments, Luke seeming to grow more and more upset and Chris maintaining his superb level of calm, before Luke finally mumbled “You fucking suck” and stormed away towards his room.
Once his door was shut with him safely behind it, my eyes immediately fell back to Chris, who was already staring at me with that cheeky smirk back on his face. Wanting desperately to know exactly what he said but too afraid to go over and speak to him about it, I stared desperately at Chris; hoping that he would give me some sort of inclination that all was good. Then, like he was reading my mind, he sent me a sharp wink. Immediately, my whole body relaxed and I released a deep breath that I hadn’t even known I was holding.
Test passed.
ᵕᵕᵕᵕ୨♡︎୧ᵕᵕᵕᵕ
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mother-harrington · 2 years
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I truly believed that I was gonna get a new year’s kiss this year lmao I want to just stop existing now thanks
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"Bird" #42 - the thirteen-lined ground squirrel
(Dont worry this is the last mammal for now haha)
These charming lil' guys are found across a wide swathe of North America. They can hibernate for a whole six months of the year!
Apparently the babies aren't born with the stripes and they only develop at about 12 days old which I think is really cute.
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hannieehaee · 11 months
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18+ / mdi
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content: fwb!mingyu, pussydrunk!mingyu, horny!mingyu (he's just horny as shit guys), smut, f reader, penetrative sex, based off the picture above ofc, etc.
wc: 985
masterlist
you had known mingyu for a few months now. you'd originally met at some frat party that your friend vernon had invited you to. you attended with no specific purpose in mind. you thought maybe you'd mingle a bit, have some drinks with some friends, and then dip. however, your plans were promptly ruined by the six-foot tall boy with the pretty smile who kept eyeing you all night as he leaned against the wall, nursing a drink while making eyes at you.
that was the first night you ended up in mingyu's bed. at a first glance you imagined he'd be good at sex. you'd been right. somewhat. he was insane. not only did he have an insane libido, but he was insatiable for you. he managed to pull orgasm after orgasm out of you. what surprised you most, however, was how he never ran out of orgasms to give you in return. you'd heard of guys with short refractory periods, but mingyu was an anomaly. that night, he had kept you up for hours, causing you to arrive late to next morning's lecture (not that you were complaining).
the second time you met mingyu was quickly after, as you'd bumped into him at a football game two days after. it was almost comical. the way in which you met eyes and knew exactly what the other was thinking. without needing to exchange any words, you ended up back at mingyu's dorm, with your legs thrown over his shoulders as he viciously fucked you into the bed, muttering words such as "you're all mine. pussy's all for me, isn't it baby?", or "pretty fuckin' thing with an even prettier pussy, fuck. n so fuckin' soft too," or your favorite, "shit. best pussy ive ever had. gunna keep it for myself. that okay, baby? gunna give it to me, arent you, pretty?"
the man not only knew how to fuck, but he knew how to make you swoon. you needed no convincing to keep ending up in mingyu's bed day after day. unfortunately for the both of you, you were nothing more than a measly college student; a slave to the deadlines your professors imposed on you. even if you wanted to spend every minute of every living moment in mingyu's bed, you had common sense. which meant you had to prioritize your education.
you and mingyu had fucked consistently for about a month. that is, until midterm season arrived. like any reasonable person, this was time for you to hibernate in your room and cram, all while ignoring any outside distractions. your family, friends, any medical emergencies, and even mingyu's dick would have to wait for this stressful time in your life to end.
you assumed that this wouldve been the case for mingyu too, knowing he was in some of the same courses as you. which is why his most recent message threw you off guard, making you laugh at the absurdity.
from: mingu 🤤:
i'm legit gonna kill myself if we dont fuck again
you'd only been depraving mingyu of sex for a little over a week. was he that insatiable? okay, you had to admit, that was a huge ego boost (and a bit of a turn on). you were now faced with two choices. be a responsible adult and put your education first, or get your hole fucked and stuffed by the big hunk who was threatening lethal action against himself if he didnt feel your warmth around him as soon as humanly possible.
you didnt have to be asked twice.
giggling to yourself, you picked up your phone and angled it upwards, pulling down your shirt enough to display your bare tits and captured a quick picture, typing him a quick message to rile him up a little more.
from you:
want this ? ;)
*picture attachment*
after hitting send, you sat back down for a bit, uselessly putting your phone down as you heard a chime in response almost immediately.
from mingu 🤤:
fuck you
i'll be there in ten
giddy, you readied yourself a bit for his arrival, knowing his dorm rooms were not too far away from yours.
only eight minutes later and you were answering the door to a very frustrated mingyu, barging into your room and immediately pushing you up against the door, taking advantage of your gasp to shove his tongue in your mouth.
"you think you're funny, dont you, baby?", he rasped, "gonna fuck the funny out of you."
he quickly undressed you and carried you over to your couch, taking his own clothes off in the process. he bent you over and put you on your hands and knees, slapping your ass once before entering you without warning.
"fuck," he breathed out in relief, "how could you keep this pretty pussy away from me for so long, baby? wanted me to chase after you? i'll fucking do it," he fucked you harder with every word he uttered.
"g-gyu."
"i'll fuckin' move in to your dorm if that means i can have this pretty fuckin' pussy wrapped around me every night, shit," his words were getting to you, causing you to wrap tighter around him.
"g-gunna give it to you every day, pretty. will you let me do that? huh? stuff this pretty pussy every day. so pretty n warm for me ..."
you both reached your completion soon after, spending yourselves out after one round for the first time since knowing each other.
"baby ... never fucking pull that shit again, i swear to god. next time you ghost me like that, i'm breaking down the door, do you understand?", his words were lighthearted in nature, but the concept of mingyu being so pussydrunk he needed to have you day after day excited you beyond belief.
"yes, sir," you purred, preparing yourself for an afternoon of zero studying.
n/a: not proofread <//3
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doctorbitchcrxft · 3 months
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Salvation | Devil's Trap | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader (Eventual)
Warnings: canon violence, canon gore
Word Count: 7124
A/N: Whoop whoop! The end of season one!!! Thank y'all so much for reading and sticking with me. I've already been working on season two... ;)
Mobile Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist
Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist
Supernatural Series Rewrite Playlist
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John had taped countless papers, newspaper clippings, scribblings, and charts of his research on the motel room’s walls. He sat at his paper-strewn desk with the Colt lying on it in front of him. “So this is it. This is everything I know. Look, our whole lives we been searching for this demon right? Not a trace, just, nothing. Until about a year ago. For the first time I picked up a trail.”
“And that's when you took off,” Dean said.
John nodded. “Yeah. That's right. The demon must have come out of hiding, or hibernation.”
“Alright, so what’s this trail you found?” his elder son asked.
“It starts in Arizona, then New Jersey, California. Houses burned down to the ground. It's going after families, just like it went after us.”
“Families with infants?” Sam chimed in.
“Yeah. The night of the kid's six-month birthday.”
“I was six months old that night?” the younger brother asked, eyes puppy-dog-like.
You looked at Sam sadly. You knew he still blamed himself, and it broke your heart. John nodded again. “Exactly six months.”
“So basically, this demon is going after these kids for some reason. The same way it came for me? So Mom's death… Jessica. It's all because of me?” his eyebrows turned upward even more.
“We don’t know that, Sam,” Dean argued gruffly.
“Oh really? Cause I'd say we're pretty damn sure, Dean,” the brunet threw back.
Dean shook his head frustratedly. “For the last time, what happened to them was not your fault.”
“Right. It's not my fault but it's my problem.”
“No, it's not your problem, it's our problem!” Dean yelled back.
“Boys, enough!” you commanded, standing.
All three men looked at you, surprised, but followed your directions and calmed down.
“So why's he doing it?” Sam asked after a moment. “What does he want?”
“Look I wish I had more answers, I do. I've always been one step behind it. Look, I've never gotten there in time to save....” He looked down unhappily.
Dean sighed. “Alright, so how do we find it before it hits again?”
“There's signs. It took me a while to see the pattern but it's there in the days before these fires signs crop up in an area. Cattle deaths, temperature fluctuations, electrical storms. And then I went back and checked, and—”
“These things happened in Lawrence,” Dean said softly.
“A week before your mother died,” John replied, nodding. “And in Palo Alto, before Jessica. And these signs: they're starting again.”
“Where?” Sam asked.
“Salvation, Iowa.”
***
You and the brothers had been following John closely for hours as you sped toward Salvation, Iowa. Suddenly, John pulled his truck off the road. You shot a look at Dean, who pulled off behind his father.
“Goddammit!” John cried when he got out of his truck.
“What is it?” Dean asked.
“I just got a call from Caleb.”
Dean’s shoulders tensed. “Is he okay?”
“He's fine. Jim Murphy's dead.”
Sam was surprised. “Pastor Jim? How?”
“His throat was slashed. He bled out. Caleb said they found traces of sulfur at Jim's place,” John explained.
“A demon,” you said. “The demon?”
The older man shook his head. “I don't know. Could be he just got careless, he slipped up. Maybe the demon knows we're getting close.”
“What do we do?” the older son questioned.
“Now we act like every second counts. There's two hospitals and a health center in this county. We split up, cover more ground. I want records. I want a list of every infant that's going to be six months old in the next week,” John barked.
“Dad, that could be dozens of kids. How do we know which one's the right one?” Sam challenged.
“We check 'em all, that's how. You got any better ideas?”
You all shook your heads. John nodded at you and turned back to his truck. He slammed his hand on his trunk and hung his head low.
“Dad?” Dean asked.
“Yeah. It's Jim,” John replied, never turning to face you three. “You know, I can't— This ends now. I'm ending it. I don't care what it takes.” He got back into his truck, and you and the boys followed suit. No one talked for the rest of the drive into Salvation.
***
You went with Dean as you normally had been doing on cases when you and the Winchesters split up. You headed to one of the two hospitals to search their birth records. 
Dean noticed a beautiful receptionist and walked over to her.
“Hi. Is there anything I can do for you?” she asked him.
“Oh, God, yes,” he smiled breathlessly.
You cleared your throat. “We’re working right now, so…” You held up your fake badge to show her. “Can you get us the records of every birth in the last year?”
She nodded. “Of course.” She threw one last longing look to Dean before heading off.
“You wanna keep it professional, officer?” You quirked a brow at him.
***
Later that day, you and the other Winchesters were called to meet Sam back at the motel room. He’d had another vision where the same thing that happened to him happened to a baby he’d met in his search for the six month old that would be attacked.
“A vision,” John said flatly.
Sam was rubbing his temples painfully. “Yes. I saw the demon burning a woman on the ceiling.”
“And you think this is going to happen to this woman you met because…?” his father trailed off.
“Because these things happen exactly the way I see them,” Sam explained.
“It started out as nightmares. Then it started happening while he was awake,” Dean continued, crossing to the counter behind Sam to get some more coffee.
“Yeah,” Sam winced, “It's like the closer I get to anything to do with the demon the stronger the visions get.”
“When were you going to tell me about this?” John snapped at his oldest son.
“We didn't know what it meant.” Dean looked down shamefully.
“Alright, something like this starts happening to your brother, you pick up the phone, and you call me,” John stated sharply.
Dean threw his cup back on the counter, but you spoke before he could. “All due respect, dude, but Dean did call you.” John looked at you surprised as you continued. “He called you in Lawrence. Sam called when Dean was fucking dying. He’s got a better chance at winning the lottery than getting you on the phone.”
Dean put a hand on your shoulder to stop you.
“You're right. Although I'm not too crazy about this attitude of yours, you're right,” John told you. He turned to his sons. “I'm sorry.”
“Look, guys, visions or no visions, fact is, we know the demon is coming tonight. And this family's gonna go through the same hell we went through,” Sam said calmly.
“No they're not. No one is, ever again.”
Sam’s phone rang. “Hello?... Who is this?” He shot up next. “Meg. Last time I saw you, you fell out of a window… Just your feelings? That was a seven-story drop… My Dad. I don't know where my Dad is.” He then hesitated for a moment before handing the phone to John.
“This is John,” he said. “I'm here.” A few moments passed before he breathed out a name. “Caleb?”
Sam and Dean reacted immediately, and you recognized that as the name of John’s friend they’d been using as a resource when their dad was missing. “You listen to me. He's got nothing to do with anything. You let him go… I don't know what you're talking about… Caleb. Caleb!... I'm gonna kill you, you know that?” His boys approached him, taking either side. “Okay… I said okay, I'll bring you the Colt.”
Your eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“It's gonna take me about a day's drive to get there… That's impossible. I can't get there in time, and I can't just carry a gun on the plane.” Another moment passed before John handed Sam’s phone back to him. He began to pace around the room. He explained to you that Meg had instructed him to go to a warehouse in Lincoln with the Colt alone.
“So you think Meg is a demon?” Sam questioned.
“Either that, or she's possessed by one. It doesn't really matter,” his father answered.
“What do we do?” you asked.
“I'm going to Lincoln.”
Dean scoffed. “What?”
“It doesn't look like we have a choice. If I don't go, a lot of people will die; our friends die.”
“Dad, the demon is coming tonight. For Monica and her family. That gun is all we got; you can't just hand it over,” Sam protested.
“Who said anything about handing it over? Look, besides us and a coupla of vampires, no one's really seen the gun; no one knows what it looks like.”
“So what, you're just going to pick up a ringer at a pawn shop?” Dean questioned.
“Antique store.”
“You're going to hand Meg a fake gun and hope she doesn't notice?”
“Look, as long as it's close, she shouldn't be able to tell the difference.”
“Yeah but for how long? What happens when she figures it out?” argued the older son.
“I just— I just need to buy a few hours, that's all.”
Sam shot back, “You mean, for Dean, (Y/N), and me. You want us to stay here and kill this demon by ourselves?”
“No, Sam. I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school. I want Dean to have a home.” John’s voice broke. “I want… I want Mary alive. It's just— I just want this to be over.”
***
After you and the boys had handed off the fake gun to John, you headed to Monica’s house under the cover of night.
Dean and Sam sat with the gun between them, and the three of you watched through the window as Monica and her husband finished dinner.
“Maybe we could tell ‘em it was a gas leak. Might get ‘em out of the house for a few hours.”
“Sam, since when has that ever worked for us?” you countered.
“We could always tell ‘em the truth,” he suggested after a moment.
You and Dean just gave him a skeptical look. The three of you cringed and said, “Naaahhh,” in unison, making you giggle.
“I know I know. I just… with what's coming for these folks…” Sam trailed off.
 Dean shook his head at his brother. “Sam we only got one move and you know it, alright? We gotta wait for that demon to show itself, and then we get it before it gets them.”
You looked back at the house for a moment before Sam spoke again. “I wonder how Dad's doing.”
“I'd feel a lot better if we were there backing him up,” Dean admitted.
“I'd feel a lot better if he were here backing us up.”
You continued watching the house in silence.
“This is weird,” Sam broke the silence again. “After all of these years, we're finally here. It doesn't seem real.”
“We just gotta keep our heads and do our job, like always,” Dean responded.
“Yeah, but this isn't like always.”
“True.”
“Dean, ah… I wanna thank you,” Sam began.
Dean turned to his brother. “For what?”
“For everything. You've always had my back you know? Even when I couldn't count on anyone I could always count on you. And, uh, I don't know I just wanted to let you know, just in case—”
“Sam, stop it,” you said. “You are not dyin’ tonight. Nobody is.”
“Except that demon,” Dean continued. “That evil son of a bitch ain't getting any older than tonight, you understand me?”
Sam nodded, tears in his eyes. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and laid your head on his back. You continued watching the house from your position resting against Sam, who returned your gesture by holding your arm.
Dean then called his father. “Dad's not answering.”
“Maybe Meg was late. Maybe cell reception’s bad,” you suggested.
“Yeah, well.” He didn’t sound convinced.
The radio suddenly started chattering with static.
“Guys, it’s coming.” You looked out at the light emanating from the home beginning to flicker.
The three of you sprang into action, grabbing the Colt and running into the house. Once inside, you were confronted by Monica’s husband.
“Get out of my house!” he yelled.
Dean fought against the man and pinned him against the wall with the baseball bat the man had been holding. “Be quiet and listen to me. Be quiet and listen! We are trying to help you.” He clearly had no patience.
A woman’s voice called from upstairs. “Charlie? Is everything okay?”
“Monica, get the baby!” the man yelled back.
“Don't go in the nursery!” you and Sam cried at the same time. You and Sam sprinted up the stairs after the woman and began to hear her moaning in pain. You raced into the nursery down the hall to find the woman flung back against the wall rising up to the ceiling. You saw a shadowy figure with glowing, yellow eyes standing over the baby’s crib.
“Rosie!” Monica screamed.
Sam raised the Colt and pulled the trigger. Unfortunately, the demon disappeared into curls of smoke.
Monica screamed and fell to the floor.
“Where the hell did it go?!” Sam yelled.
“I don’t know!” you yelled back.
“My baby!” Monica tried to move toward the crib, but Sam caught her. She fought him as you wrapped the baby in her blanket and pulled her out of her crib. Milliseconds later, the crib burst into flames. You held the baby to your chest and followed Sam and Monica down the stairs and out of the house.
Just as you made it outside, the nursery window exploded outward in a fiery blaze. You ran over to Dean and Monica’s husband who had just regained consciousness. 
“You get away from my family,” the husband told you firmly.
“No, Charlie, don't. They saved us,” Monica said, running into her husband’s arms. You handed her baby over to her, and she began to cry. “Thank you.”
You nodded with a sad smile. You turned to the boys who looked up at the burning house. You could see a shadowy figure in the window surrounded by the flames.
Sam tried to go back inside, crying, “It's still in there!”
You and Dean pushed him back. “No!”
“Guys, let me go! It’s still in there!” He continued struggling against you.
“No. It's burning to the ground, it's suicide!” Dean replied.
“I don't care!” Sam yelled back.
Dean shoved his brother one final time. “I do!”
You looked back up at the house and watched the demon disappear. The flames rose higher as you heard Monica’s husband calling 911.
“We’d better get out of here before the cops show up,” you told Monica. “Take care of yourselves.”
“We will. Thank you!”
You shoved the boys back to the Impala and took Dean’s keys from him.
“(Y/N), you are not driving my car.”
“I’ve already done it, Dean, and you are way too emotional to drive right now. I’ve got this.”
“Fine!” He got in the passenger’s seat next to you. “But I swear to god if it gets one scratch—”
“I know, I’m dead.”
***
You and the Winchesters still hadn’t heard from their father.
“Come on Dad, answer your phone, damn it,” Dean grumbled as he paced around. “Something’s wrong.”
Sam stared at the wall; unresponsive to his brother.
“You hear me? Something is wrong.”
Sam’s voice broke as he talked. “If you had just let me go in there, I coulda ended all this.”
“Sam, you would’ve been killed,” you said.
“You don’t know that,” he argued.
Dean walked toward his brother. “So what, you're just willing to sacrifice yourself, is that it?”
Sam stood. “Yeah. Yeah, you're damn right I am.”
“Well, that's not going to happen, not as long as I'm around,” Dean responded.
“What the hell are you talking about, Dean, we've been searching for this demon our whole lives. It's the only thing we've ever cared about.”
“Sam, I wanna waste it. I do. Okay? But it's not worth dying over.”
The brunet scoffed. “What?”
“I mean it. If hunting this demon means getting yourself killed, then I hope we never find the damn thing,” Dean spat.
“That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom!” Sam yelled.
“You said yourself once, that no matter what we do, they're gone, and they're never coming back.”
Sam completely lost it and threw Dean back against the wall.
“Sam, stop!” You ran to the boys and tried to pull Sam off. He shrugged your grip off him harshly. 
“Don't you say that, not you! Not after all this; don't you say that!” Sam yelled.
Dean’s voice quieted. “Sam, look. The three of us… Dad… That's all we have. And it's all I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding it together, man… And without you or (Y/N) or Dad....”
“Dad,” Sam cried and turned away. He walked across the room.
Dean stayed where he was and took a few deep breaths.
“Are you okay?” you asked Dean quietly.
He nodded, but kept his gaze on his brother.
“He should have called by now. Try him again,” Sam instructed.
Dean pushed a few buttons and raised his phone to his ear. “Where is he,” Dean spoke angrily into the phone.
You looked up at Dean, concerned, as did Sam. 
“They’ve got Dad,” Dean informed you, snapping his phone shut.
“Meg?” you questioned.
Dean just nodded.
“What’d she say?”
“I just told you, sweetheart.”
“Okay, okay,” you ran a hand over your hair.
Dean grabbed the Colt and tucked it into his jeans.
“What are you doing, Dean?” Sam asked.
Dean was already grabbing his duffel bag. “We got to go.”
“Why?”
“Because the demon knows we’re in Salvation, alright. It knows we got the Colt. It’s got Dad— it’s probably coming for us next.” Dean put his jacket back on.
“Good. We’ve still got three bullets left. Let it come.”
“No, Sam, I’m with Dean. We’re not ready,” you said, shouldering your own bag. “We don’t know how many of them are out there, and we’re no good to anybody dead. Let’s go. And we need help.”
Dean looked at you and agreed. “I know a guy.”
***
“Bobby?” you asked. You hadn’t realized he was the man Dean was referring to knowing could help. 
“(Y/N),” the man breathed out. He wrapped you in a tight hug. “How the hell are you, kiddo?”
Tears formed in the corners of your eyes. “I’m okay. Listen, we’re in a tight spot. I know Dean told you a bit, but…”
“Come on in,” he said. He checked behind you and the boys to make sure you weren’t followed.
“How do you know Bobby?” Dean asked, walking around the man’s cluttered home. Books were stacked high in every corner, and empty beer bottles covered his kitchen table. 
‘Would it kill you to clean every once in a while?’ you thought.
“He found me when I was nineteen and bleeding out in the middle of nowhere,” you explained. “Saved my life and took me in, essentially. And then, uh, I split. My stupid twenty-year-old self couldn’t admit that being alone sucked. I didn’t want anyone to think I needed help. We got in a huge fight, and I left.” You turned to Bobby. “I’m sorry, by the way. I never told you that.”
“It’s okay, kid,” the man drawled. He handed Dean a round silver flask with a cross on it. “Here you go.”
“What is this, holy water?” 
Bobby said, “That one is.” He held out the other flask he was holding. “This is whiskey.” 
You giggled while Bobby and Dean took swigs of the drink.
Dean handed the flask back to him. “Bobby, thanks. Thanks for everything. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure we should come.”
“Nonsense. Your Daddy needs help.”
“Well, yeah, but last time we saw you, I mean, you did threaten to blast him full of buckshot. Cocked the shotgun and everything,” the man chuckled.
“Yeah, well, what can I say? John just has that effect on people.”
“Amen,” you commented.
Dean shot you a look.
“What?” you replied.
He just rolled his eyes.
“None of that matters now. All that matters is that you get him back,” Bobby shrugged.
Sam dragged his fingers along the worn pages of the book he was reading. “Bobby, this book: I’ve never seen anything like it.”
He sat on the edge of the desk across from Sam. “Key of Solomon? It’s the real deal, alright.”
“And these protective circles. They really work?” He gestured down to the intricate drawing covering the worn page.
“Hell, yeah. You get a demon in; they’re trapped. Powerless. It’s like a Satanic roach motel.” Bobby tapped the center of the page. 
You laughed. You loved his sense of humor. You wished your dad had been more like him, and you wished you hadn’t spent so much time as a teenager trying to go it alone.
“I’ll tell you something else, too. This is some serious crap you kids stepped in.”
“Oh, yeah? How’s that?” you asked.
“Normal year, I hear of, say, three demonic possessions. Maybe four, tops. This year I hear of twenty-seven so far. You get what I’m saying? More and more demons are walking among us; a lot more.” Bobby sounded scared for the first time since you met him. 
“Damn,” you commented. “Do you know why?”
“No, but I know it’s something big. The storm’s coming, and you kids, your Daddy— you are smack in the middle of it.”
Bobby’s dog began barking outside.
“Rumsfeld,” Bobby muttered.
The dog stopped barking with a sad whine. You looked out the window to see the chain the dog was tethered to broken and the dog himself nowhere in sight. 
“Something’s wrong,” the older man said.
At that moment, Meg kicked the door open and sauntered in. Dean slipped the holy water flask out of his pocket, and you grabbed a knife out of your jacket.
“No more crap, okay?” Meg sang.
Dean tried to go after her, but Meg sent him flying into a stack of books in the corner of the room.
“Hey!” you yelled, trying to take a swing at her. She sent you flying back into Dean. You groaned in pain as you heard Meg continuing to go after Sam for the Colt.
“You okay?” Dean asked you.
You nodded. “C’mon.” You stood shakily and used the wall for support; Dean just behind you.
“First, Johnny tries to pawn off a fake gun, and then, he leaves the real gun with you three chuckleheads. Lackluster, man. I mean, did you really think I wouldn’t find you?” you heard Meg telling Sam and Bobby in the other room.
You stepped into the door frame. “Actually, we were counting on it.” You smirked and looked up at the ceiling that had a Devil’s Trap etched into it. 
Dean spat, “Gotcha.”
You set to work tying Meg to a chair in the middle of the floor. She fought you hard, but there wasn’t much she could do given her limited space to move.
“Bitch,” she spat at you.
“Yeah, ditto,” you responded dryly. You stepped back from her.
“You know, if you wanted to tie me up, all you had to do was ask,” she said sultrily.
Bobby came up next to you with a large canister of salt. “I salted the door and windows. If there are any demons out there, they ain’t getting in.”
Dean nodded and stood, moving around you to stand in front of Meg. “Where’s our father, Meg?”
“You didn’t ask very nice.”
“Where’s our father, bitch?”
You hated to admit it, but Dean’s interrogation was turning you on.
“Jeez. You kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh wait, I forgot, you don’t,” Meg smirked.
Dean lunged at her and put his hands on the chair arms. “You think this is a fucking game? Where is he?! What did you do to him?”
“He died screaming. I killed him myself!” she growled through gritted teeth.
Dean froze before slapping her across the face.
“That’s kind of a turn on; you hitting a girl,” she smiled.
‘Well, she’s not wrong,’ you thought.
“You’re no girl,” he said.
Bobby stood and moved to the older Winchester. “Dean.”
He turned away from Meg.
“You okay?” you asked him.
“She’s lying. He’s not dead,” he grumbled.
“Dean, you got to be careful with her. Don’t hurt her,” Bobby warned.
“Why?”
“Because she really is a girl; that’s why,” he explained.
You looked back at Meg and her labored breathing. Bobby explained that Meg had been possessed. Dean was furious at the idea of an innocent person being trapped inside her, and you loved that about him. You and the brothers immediately began an exorcism ritual.
“Are you gonna read me a story?” she quipped at the sight of the Book of Solomon Sam was holding.
Dean stepped in front of her. “Something like that. Hit it, Sam.”
Sam began reading the ritual off the pages of the book.
“An exorcism? Are you serious?”
“Oh we’re going for it, baby—” You’d never liked that nickname, but you loved how it sounded coming from Dean; just not directed at Meg. “—head spinning, projectile vomiting, the whole nine yards.”
Meg flinched at the Latin words coming from Sam’s lips. “I’m gonna kill you. I’m gonna rip the bones from your body.”
“No, you’re gonna burn in hell. Unless you tell us where our Dad is.” His smirk was challenging.
Meg just smiled at him.
“Well, at least you’ll get a nice tan,” Dean bit.
Meg continued to shake in pain and gasped finally. “He begged for his life with tears in his eyes. He begged to see his sons one last time. That’s when I slit his throat.”
Dean leaned down to her. “For your sake, I hope you’re lying. Cause if it’s true, I swear to god, I will march into hell myself and I will slaughter each and every one of you evil sons of bitches, so help me god!”
Sam continued reading while wind started blowing through the room.
“Where is he?!” Dean shouted.
“You just won’t take ‘dead’ for an answer, will you?”
“Where is he?!”
“Dead!” she yelled through gritted teeth.
Dean screamed, “No, he’s not! He’s not dead! He can’t be!”
You looked up at him. “Dean—”
“What are you looking at? Keep reading,” he said gruffly to his brother.
“He will be!” Meg cried.
Dean stopped Sam from reading with a raised hand. “Wait! What?!”
“He’s not dead. But he will be after what we do to him,” she explained breathlessly.
“How do we know you’re telling the truth?”
“You don’t.”
“Sam!”
“A building! Okay? A building in Jefferson City," Meg admitted, breathing laboriously.
“Missouri? Where, where? An address!”
“I don’t know,” she cried.
“And the demon— the one we’re looking for— where is it?” Sam interrogated.
“I don’t know! I swear! That’s everything. That’s all I know,” Meg whined.
Dean stalked around her, face set in anger. “Finish it.”
“What? I told you the truth!” Meg screamed, pulling against her restraints.
“I don’t care,” Dean responded.
“You son of a bitch, you promised!” She continued to fight harder despite the pain she was obviously in.
“I lied! Sam? Sam! Read.”
Sam pulled Dean aside. “Maybe we can still use her. Find out where the demon is.”
“She doesn’t know.”
“She lied.”
“Sam, there’s a girl trapped in there somewhere,” you said. “We gotta help her.”
“You’re gonna kill her,” Bobby broke in. “You said she fell from a building. That girl’s body is broken. The only thing keeping her alive is that demon inside. You exorcise it and that girl is going to die.”
“We can’t just leave her like that, though!” you protested.
“She is a human being,” Bobby said softly.
“And we’re gonna put her out of her misery. Sam, finish it,” Dean barked.
Sam hesitated.
“Finish it,” his brother commanded.
Sam obliged, taking a deep breath before continuing. Meg threw her head back and screamed, the demon leaving through her mouth in a cloud of inky blackness. It shot up into the Devil’s Trap on the ceiling, and Meg’s head fell forward.
You looked at her, unsure of whether or not it was really over. She slowly lifted her head, and you watched blood drip from her nose and lips.
“Oh, shit,” you muttered. “Call 911, get some water and blankets!” you ordered. “Boys, help me!”
Meg whispered, “Thank you.”
“Shh, shh,” you told her. “Take it easy, okay?”
The boys lifted her off the chair and she yelped in pain. You had them lower her into your lap, so you could cradle her head as a makeshift pillow.
“We’re sorry. We got you, it’s okay,” you assured her.
“A year,” she muttered sadly.
“What?”
“It’s been a year.”
“Shh, just take it easy,” Sam told her.
“I’ve been awake for some of it. I couldn’t move my own body. The things I did…  It's a nightmare.” Her voice was broken in soft sobs as blood spilled from her lips and nose.
“I’m so sorry,” you said, brushing her hair back with your hand.
“Was it telling us the truth about our Dad?” Dean asked.
“Dean—” you scolded.
“We need to know.” He looked at you sharply before looking back down at Meg.
“Yes. But it wants... you to know... that... they want you to come for him.”
“If Dad’s still alive, none of that matters.”
Bobby came back in with a blanket and glass of water. You helped Meg drink while the boys covered her in the blanket.
“Where is the demon we’re looking for?” Sam asked her.
“Not there. Other ones. Awful ones,” she answered weakly.
“By the river. Sunrise.” Her head lolled to the side in your lap, eyes never closing and reopening again. 
“ ‘Sunrise’,” Dean muttered. “What does that mean? What does that mean?”
But Meg was gone. You continued to brush her hair back with your hand, looking down at the poor girl’s face sadly. Tears rose to your eyes. You felt awful for her. Getting possessed and not being in control of your own body was quite literally your worst nightmare.
“You better hurry up and beat it. Before the paramedics get here,” Bobby told you. The four of you rose from the ground and headed to the door.
“What are you gonna tell them?” Dean asked.
“You think you guys invented lying to the cops? I’ll figure something out.” He handed the Key of Solomon book to Sam. “Here, take this. You might need it.”
“Thanks,” Sam grinned.
“Thanks... for everything. Be careful, alright?” Dean told Bobby.
“You just go find your Dad. And when you do, you bring him around, would you? I won’t even try to shoot him this time.”
You gave him a lopsided smile before pulling him into a hug again. “Thank you. I promise I’ll call.”
“You better, kid. Or I’ll hunt your ass down.”
***
About a day and a half later, you and the boys had rescued a badly beaten John from Sunrise Apartments in Jefferson City, Missouri. You’d found an abandoned cabin deep in the woods to shelter in to attempt to make a game plan to go after the demon. You could tell Dean was conflicted about the fact that he’d had to use one of the Colt’s bullets to save Sam but didn’t regret the choice at all. His confliction came from whether or not his dad would kick his ass to hell and back.
“How is he?” Sam asked. You were busy cleaning up the cuts on his badly beaten face that the demon Dean had killed gave him.
“He just needed a little rest, that’s all. How are you?” Dean questioned, referencing the beating Sam had suffered on the rescue mission.
Sam shrugged. “I’ll survive. Hey, you don’t think we were followed here, do you?”
“I don’t think so,” you said. “We couldn’t have found a more way-out-the-way place to hunker down.”
A moment of silence passed before Sam turned to his brother. “Hey, uh.... Dean, you, um, you saved my life back there.”
Dean smirked. “So, I guess you’re glad I brought the gun, huh?” That had been yet another thing the brothers had fought over.
“Man, I’m trying to thank you here,” Sam chuckled.
“You’re welcome,” the older brother replied.
“All done,” you told Sam. You crossed the room to his brother and sat down next to him.
Dean paused a moment before talking again. “Hey, (Y/N)?” 
“Yeah?”
“You know that guy I shot? There was a person in there.”
You sighed. “You had no choice, dude.”
“Yeah, I know, that’s not what bothers me.”
“Then what does?”
“Killing that guy, killing Meg. I didn’t hesitate, I didn’t even flinch. For Sam, for my dad... for you..." he couldn't stand to look at you during that admission— "the things I’m willing to do or kill, it’s just, uh, it scares me sometimes.”
You put a hand on his. “I get it. Me too.”
He gripped your hand tightly as John walked into the room. “It shouldn’t scare you. You did good.”
“You’re not mad?” Dean asked.
“For what?”
“Using a bullet.” The elder son’s face was twisted in confusion.
John chuckled. “Mad? I’m proud of you. You know, Sam and I: we can get pretty obsessed. But you, you watch out for this family. You always have.”
Something changed in Dean’s face. “Thanks.”
The wind suddenly picked up outside, and the lights in the room flickered.
“It found us. It’s here,” John breathed out.
“The demon?” Sam questioned, standing on high alert.
“Sam, lines of salt in front of every window, every door,” John ordered.
“Already done,” you said.
“Well, check it, okay?”
“Okay,” Sam said and left the room.
“Dean, you got the gun?” John asked. “Give it to me.”
Dean took the Colt out of his jeans. “Dad, Sam tried to shoot the demon in Salvation. It disappeared.”
“This is me. I won’t miss. Now, the gun, hurry,” John commanded.
Dean hesitated and looked down at the gun. You looked between the two men, confused as to what was going on.
“Give me the gun. What are you doing, Dean?”
Dean backed up. “He’d be furious.”
John turned away from the window. “What?”
“That I wasted a bullet. He wouldn’t be proud of me; he’d tear me a new one.” Dean cocked the gun and pointed it at John. He pushed you behind him, covering you with his free arm protectively. “You’re not my Dad.”
“Dean, it’s me.” John looked at him like he was crazy.
“I know my Dad better than anyone. And you ain’t him,” Dean responded.
“What the hell’s gotten into you?”
“I could ask you the same thing. Stay back.”
Sam came into the room, shocked to see Dean pointing the gun at John. “Dean? What the hell’s going on?”
“Your brother’s lost his mind,” John scoffed.
“No, he hasn’t. It’s not your dad, Sam,” you said.
“I think he’s possessed. I think he’s been possessed since we rescued him.” Dean began to get upset.
John protested, but Sam turned to you and Dean. “Dean, how do you know?”
Dean was fighting back tears. “He’s... he’s different.”
“You know, we don’t have time for this. Sam, you wanna kill this demon, you’ve gotta trust me,” John stated firmly.
Sam stepped back behind you and Dean. 
“Fine. You’re all so sure, go ahead. Kill me,” John spat, seeming emotional. He looked down and waited. Dean held the gun on him, but couldn’t pull the trigger.
“I thought so.” John looked up grinning; eyes yellow with snake-like slits running down the middle.
Sam lunged at him, but was thrown and pinned against the wall. 
“You son of a—” John threw you back against the wall next to Sam, too; cutting you off. Dean shouted your name but ended up pinned as well.
John picked up the Colt that Dean had dropped. “What a pain in the ass this thing’s been.”
“It’s you, isn’t it? We’ve been looking for you for a long time,” Sam stated.
“Well, you found me,” the demon grinned.
“But the holy water?” the younger son asked in reference to the bit he'd splashed on him during the rescue.
“You think something like that works on something like me?” he taunted.
You tried to fight against the force that had you pinned down, but couldn’t.
“I’m gonna kill you!” Sam screamed.
“Oh, that’d be a neat trick. In fact—” he put the gun down on the table, “—here. Make the gun float to you there, psychic boy.”
Sam looked down at the gun, but nothing happened.
“Well, this is fun. I could’ve killed you a hundred times today, but this... this is worth the wait.” He stalked over to Dean who struggled against his power. “Your Dad: he’s in here with me. Trapped inside his own meat suit. He says ‘hi,' by the way. He’s gonna tear you apart. He’s gonna taste the iron in your blood.”
“Let him go, or I swear to god—”
The demon cut Dean off. “What? What are you and god gonna do? You see, as far as I’m concerned, this is justice. You know that little exorcism of yours? That was my daughter. The one in the alley? That was my boy. You understand.”
Dean mockingly groaned, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“What? You’re the only one that can have a family? You destroyed my children. How would you feel if I killed your family?” The demon smiled maliciously. “Oh, that’s right. I forgot. I did. Still, two wrongs don’t make a right.”
“You son of a bitch,” Dean spat.
“I wanna know why. Why’d you do it?” Sam asked.
“You mean why did I kill Mommy and pretty little Jess?” He turned back to Dean. “You know, I never told you this, but Sam was going to ask her to marry him. Been shopping for rings and everything.” He turned back to Sam and walked over to him. “You want to know why? Because they got in the way.”
“In the way of what?” Sam asked.
“My plans for you, Sammy. You... and all the children like you.”
“Listen, you mind just getting this over with, huh? Cause I really can’t stand the monologuing,” Dean remarked.
The demon strutted back over to him. “Funny, but that’s all part of your M.O., isn’t it? Masks all that nasty pain; masks the truth.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” Dean ground out.
“You know, you fight, and you fight for this family, but the truth is they don’t need you. Not like you need them. Sam: he’s clearly John’s favorite. Even when they fight, it’s more concern than he’s ever shown you. And (Y/N)? Your thing with her is pretty pathetic, I gotta say.”
“I bet you’re real proud of your kids, too, huh? Oh wait, I forgot. I wasted ‘em,” Dean challenged, smiling. John looked at Dean and backed up, putting his head down. When he looked back up, Dean yelled in pain.
“What are you doing to him?! Stop!” you cried, fighting against your invisible restraints even harder.
Dean began bleeding heavily from his chest. “Dad! Dad, don’t you let it kill me!”
You struggled as hard as you could to get free, but you helplessly watched blood flow out of Dean’s mouth.
“Dad, please.” Dean’s cry broke your heart just before he passed out.
“Dean!” you and Sam yelped. You were suddenly let go, and you dove across the floor to Dean. He slumped to the ground, bleeding profusely.
“Dean, Dean, look at me, baby, please,” you cried. You looked up at Sam pointing the gun at John as you pulled Dean into your lap.
“You kill me, you kill Daddy,” the demon taunted Sam. 
“I know.” He fired the gun and shot it in the leg.
Sam rushed over to you. “Dean? Dean, hey? Oh god, you’ve lost a lot of blood.”
“Where’s Dad?” Dean groaned, coming back to.
“He’s right here. He’s right here, Dean.”
“Go check on him.”
You stayed with Dean, crying as you brushed a hand over his cheek. 
“Hey, sweetheart,” he smiled despite the situation.
“Shh, shh, stop it.” You shook your head. You turned the palm of your hand up that had been sitting on his chest. It was completely turned red. “Oh, my god.”
He grabbed your hand and rubbed his thumb over yours. “I’m okay.”
You turned back to John and Sam as the older man yelled, “Sammy! It’s still alive. It’s inside me, I can feel it. You shoot me. You shoot me! You shoot me in the heart, son! Do it now!”
“Sam, don’t you do it. Don’t you do it,” Dean pleaded.
“You’ve gotta hurry! I can’t hold onto it much longer! You shoot me, son! Shoot me! Son, I’m begging you! We can end this here and now! Sammy!” John begged.
“Sam, no!” you said.
“You do this! Sammy! Sam!” The demon suddenly fled from John, and the man collapsed on the ground.
John looked up at Sam accusingly. You called the brunet over to you. “You gotta help me. We gotta get him to a hospital now,” you cried. You and Sam shouldered Dean and brought him to the car while he groaned in pain.
You sat next to him in the backseat. His body was slumped over against the door, and you leaned against his chest to make sure his heart was still beating. Or, that was what you told yourself, at least. Despite the situation, you found the feeling of him against you comforting.
Sam got his father down in the car and began to speed away from the cabin.
“Look, just hold on, alright. The hospital’s only ten minutes away,” Sam told his father.
“I’m surprised at you, Sammy. Why didn’t you kill it? I thought we saw eye-to-eye on this? Killing this demon comes first— before me, before everything.”
Sam looked up at you and his brother in the rearview mirror. “No, sir. Not before everything. Look, we’ve still got the Colt. We still have the one bullet left. We just have to start over, alright? I mean, we already found the demon—”
Suddenly, the car was thrown to the side and continued to skid down a hill. You held Dean against you despite the blood soaking into your hair and clothes and silently prayed for this all to be over. You could feel the side of the car had been pushed in on top of your legs, and finally, the car stopped moving. 
“Dean!” you cried. “Guys!” No one was responding to you. “Dean!”
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